#incorrect evil dead rise
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Deadite!Ellie: Open up now, like a good girl.
Y/N: ...
Y/N: *spreads legs*
#evil dead rise#ellie bixler x reader#ellie bixler#deadites#alyssa sutherland#ellie bixler imagine#incorrect evil dead rise#maggot mommy
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Incorrect quotes pt2 Dragons Rising edition
(Feat. my oc Taylor)
some of these are probably ooc cuz they were randomly generated but
Kai, texting Cole: Cole there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?
Kai: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry
Kai: Cole
Kai: Cole
Cole: Cole is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Lloyd: Rude.
Sora: That's fair.
Kai: Not again.
Arin: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
Kai: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...
Lloyd: Only as their rodeo clown.
Kai: You know, I always wanted to be somebody.
Nya: You probably should have been more specific.
Jay, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Taylor: Gray.
Arin: Grey.
Jay, turning to Cole: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Cole: Dark white.
Lloyd: I am going to need you to swear-
Taylor: Fuck.
Lloyd:
Lloyd: ...swear as in promise.
Arin: I want to grow up and be like Lloyd!
Lloyd: That is called Acquiring Depression.
Lloyd: What state do you live in?
Taylor: I live in a state of constant anxiety.
Taylor: As a responsible adult-
Lloyd: *chuckles*
Taylor: … As a responsible adult—
Lloyd: I think we can be evil. As a treat.
Taylor: We?
Lloyd: We. :)
(this could be interchangeable)
Lloyd: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Taylor: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Lloyd: I—
Lloyd: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
Lloyd: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#lloyd x oc#ninjago lloyd#ninjago oc#incorrect quotes#ninjago cole#ninjago zane#ninjago jay#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago nya#ninjago arin#ninjago kai#ninjago dr#ninjago dragons rising
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Incorrect quotes to use (im updating when i get new ones)
- [ ] Stop sending me weird videos of babies heard
- [ ] Dont be clickin into your intestines prople
- [ ] Taylor swift won the super bowl
- [ ] You’ve been corrupted by your mother
- [ ] I need to be 14 to work I’m 8
- [ ] sheep fur
- [ ] Oh, you tricked me worm
- [ ] Jeff bezos did this to us
- [ ] Let me grab my other hairless testicle
- [ ] Trumpet the cowards trombone
- [ ] Like some genital pirate
- [ ] They’re basically sad little flesh turtles that tun hide and scream
- [ ] Go abed go before people sex/sext eachother
- [ ] Where did your right eyeball go?
It tends to disappear.
- [ ] Dont put it on my head go back to you
- [ ] Boonie the poo
- [ ] Shout shell
- [ ] Fine you hit me i take the child
- [ ] They’re holding me hostage, man
- [ ] My mommy paid for me
- [ ] My bottles. Im sorry im a recovering alcoholic that’s not really recovering
- [ ] I have a boyfriend
- [ ] He was like inside of you
nice.
- [ ] She is like 3 feet tall how did she get up there
- [ ] What in the assblaster is this
- [ ] *rolls on back* aaaagghhgghgggf
- [ ] Is this futhermucker anomalous how does he keep finding us
- [ ] I said scream not sqeaky fart you peeon
- [ ] That’s jerard he lives in all gotmer emo kids heads
- [ ] I for one like the eggs, they tasty
- [ ] He took the cheese
- [ ] *weird noise that may be a moan* balls
- [ ] *whiny voice* i dont want an empire
- [ ] Sophie you’ve committed tax fraud youre six years old
- [ ] The carrots are all gone _
- [ ] A bear if type 2 diabetes
- [ ] Dont eat your spouse
- [ ] Look i spent an hour to get here I don’t need your sass
- [ ] Oh you’re not wearing any underwear
- [ ] You get the hell out of here mort
- [ ] Come children follow me into the pit.
That’s not a terrifying invitation
- [ ] We gave her drugs
- [ ] *happily* I wish i was dead!
- [ ] How about you? I know how everybody’s gonna die
- [ ] How can she be so sick yet so strong. Like the economy
- [ ] Our weather’s weird, no it’s your crops kill them
- [ ] Tell that to my vagina
- [ ] Call me draco malfoy cause im slytherin
- [ ] Ow my boob
- [ ] Well ill just say it who knew that pig makes a really fun clutch purse
- [ ] Im a cactus😊
- [ ] Rudy touch it
no thank you
- [ ] From the ashes rise ramps more ramps
- [ ] Whispering* yeah they’ll get constipated
no
- [ ] How you like our educational system norway
- [ ] I can be waluigi
- [ ] Yeah sawdust makes it softer
- [ ] You in his DMs. I'm at home smoking weed. I dont even know who we're talking about
- [ ] Who knew a bug could speak all fancy like
- [ ] This bus only goes to one place and that place is vallhala
- [ ] And for _’s weave that got snatched
- [ ] _ got stuck in one, typical of _
- [ ] THATS AN EVIL ASS OTTER
- [ ] Ooh these cats are so real
- [ ] That’s the good thing about evil jesus
- [ ] You dont even need that evil ass mace
- [ ] Are you penacilin
- [ ] Ill give you a dramamine you won’t even know
- [ ] Mercury is in the microwave or something
- [ ] You bitch, you look like a backstreet boy
- [ ] You bout to be tweedle-slapped
- [ ] I need viagra of the fingers
- [ ] Did you just trigger tag my grandma
- [ ] It’s game of thrones with otters
- [ ] Your toothpick friend is stupid _
- [ ] There hasn’t been a rat that high since the og Chuck e cheese
- [ ] Not me drugging the coffin
- [ ] I got an ostrich
- [ ] Damn crack baby
- [ ] He dropped his balls
- [ ] Even the walls are bones
- [ ] Well, your mother sucks eggs
- [ ] Listen to your heart what is it telling you.
i should quit.
- [ ] The curb is not my friend
- [ ] I don’t have a fist or fingers
- [ ] 50 shades of evil jesus
- [ ] He lets his ass rest
- [ ] _ YOU MADE IT HERE
- [ ] He’s like a double orphan’ orphan squared
- [ ] (Still very alive) Dont disrespect my grave like that
- [ ] I felt a kick in my appendix
- [ ] IM SUFFERING!
- [ ] _ back off do you hear my piano it’s mad
- [ ] EVAPORATE TALL PERSON
- [ ] What do you mean “we” mammal
- [ ] Would you kindly shut your noise hole
- [ ] Cheer up meatbag
- [ ] Look pal you only have one set of clothes and you’re not taking them off while im here
- [ ] *whispers* the holy bone?’*nods*
- [ ] I can be a mob boss of animals
- [ ] Are you the british
- [ ] Im very excited by my uterus bat
- [ ] _ dont be frenchphobic
- [ ] Oi _ get your mouth away from that french girl
- [ ] A mob of unruly clowns
- [ ] Go go hippie rangers
- [ ] Its like demented dog food
- [ ] Lesbian of death
- [ ] She she looks like a lobster
- [ ] Clever little box
- [ ] Who ya mama and daddy- THE GAYS
- [ ] Curse you mafia james
- [ ] I don’t want a puffer sonic i want a simp
- [ ] Im gonna keep feeding instagram
- [ ] He’s just gotta go poopoo leave him alone
- [ ] She got hit by a giant cake
- [ ] Im looking at you demon blueberry
- [ ] NO GANGBANGING IN THE POND
- [ ] SATAN IS NOT A FUCKING POGO STICK
- [ ] Not the dead catcall
- [ ] This is what i get for wearing half a shirt
- [ ] I saw the whisker things part like moses red whatever
- [ ] Is it a penis?
No
- [ ] Jesus fuck put it back in its not done yet
- [ ] This is what i am mama, this is my final form
- [ ] SHES A JESUST
- [ ] Dont worry its not mold its just my chocolate going through photosynthesis
(Knocks on door) Where’s boyfriend
Is that the marriage demon?
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Ah, fond memories...
I was the paladin. A Vengeance Paladin, to be precise. We were fighting a cult of yuan-ti who sought to summon their god, Ouroboros the Devourer, to consume the Thirteen Realms. I myself had sworn my Oath of Vengeance against their leader, Quetzalcoatlus (Q).
The other player was the last survivor of the Drow Imperium, frozen in a sarcophagus prison for 10,000 years while his father the God Pharoah fell to madness and led the Imperium to ruin. (The character was built up for quite some time before the player actually took control. When we only knew him as a historical figure, we took to calling him "Drow Roboute Guilliman." After he actually joined us as a PC, the nickname switched to "Drow Lion El'Johnson" or "Drow Vegeta.")
Drow Vegeta had spent his entire adult life at war with the yuan-ti. His empire had fallen to Q's cult (turns out the guy was basically immortal). He hated them, and not without cause. While the rest of the party only wanted to stop the rise of Ouroboros, my Vengeance Paladin tried to meet Drow Vegeta halfway with a vow to see Q and the immediate members of his cult dead.
This was insufficient for Drow Vegeta, as he wanted to wipe out the yuan-ti across the Thirteen Realms, down to the last man, woman, and child. He was very insistent on this point.
Cyrus (the vengeance paladin): Of course the Cult of Ouroboros must be purged...
Alusskhamen (drow Vegeta): And their families.
Cyrus: No. You're talking about children.
Alusskhamen: Children grow up.
Cyrus: Yes, they will grow up without the influence of Q.
Alusskhamen: If we leave even one yuan-ti alive, they could rebuild the cult.
Cyrus: It's not as if yuan-ti are born uniquely evil.
A's Player, out of character: So I know that's true, but Alusskhamen has only ever encountered yuan-ti in a wartime context.
Cyrus: One of our companions was a pureblood. He fought against Q and sacrificed his own life to save ours.
A's Player ooc: That's an excellent point, but Alusskhamen never met Prodis.
Me ooc: That's why I'm telling him now.
A's Player ooc: Mmmm, it's not enough to change his worldview. Cyrus could be lying for all he knows.
Alusskhamen: Look, you need my help to stop Q. You can't afford to stop me.
Cyrus: Incorrect. I've already sworn to kill one megalomaniac. I can find time to kill you when this is over.
So now our dnd group uses "doing an Alusskhamen" to refer to a player who gets so caught up in "it's what my character would do" that they make themselves an enemy to the party.
Tell us about The Incident
If you mean the DND incident tho, I’m gonna keep this relatively brief. Suffice it to say we had a player who intentionally created a character who would clash ideologically with the party (he thought it would provide good RP opportunities).
What actually happened was he isolated himself from the party, then sulked about how nobody in the party wanted to take his side (this was not true, our Paladin very much tried to empathize with him)
I was running with like 8 players at the time, and I will freely admit that I did not handle it as well as I should have. That said, his character has become a by-word in our group for “don’t be that guy.”
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*JNR attempt resurrect Pyrrha through a dark magic ritual. But instead of bringing back Pyrrha, they accidentally summon a demon that looks like Pyrrha*
Nora: P-Pyrrha?
Demon Pyrrha, in a fake sad tone: Pyrrha’s with the maggots now.
*Demon Pyrrha lets out a load shriek that causes JNR to cover their ears and all of the glass around them to shatter*
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(until I read "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo")
Let's talk about my new temporary - or not - obsession, deadite!ellie.
I made some pov videos to post on my accounts - TikTok and Instagram -, which I really didn't take long to bring a coincidence in the universe of Evil Dead Rise, let's call it that...
Next - English Translation (🇺🇲) :
Y/N: Excuse me a little and be quiet cat
Y/N continues: if I don't do like your father and leave you.
Danny, surprised: Y/N how short you are! (technically, being a low blow) Using it to target me.
Y/N: if I'm short, you're underground (worse than she/he)
Angry Danny: Yeah, but I never told anyone that Mom dumped you for an ugly kid who didn't even have eyes! (reference that neighbor of hers hehe)
Y/N, shocked by 'exposed': Danny... Don't say that...
Danny: I told you not to talk about my dad too
Y/N: What father? *dry cut*
Next:
Y/N walking into the apartment crying, locking the door and sliding through it.
Beth confused: why are you crying?
Y/N in tears: why did I lock Ellie in the elevator to play but she ended up being possessed!
*Y/N looking for a place to hide*
Beth being a bitch: you're crying because she ran after you, right?
Y/N: yes
Beth: she-
Ellie on the other side of the door angrily: Open this door now, Y/N!
Y/N screams: NO, YOU WILL KILL ME!
Ellie pretending to be calm: I won't!
Y/N yells again: Yes!
Ellie still pretending: I just want to talk...
Y/N: NO!
Ellie furious as she slams the door: OPEN SOON, Y/N!
Desperate Y/N: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Next:
Y/N looking at the invaders while the others are behind her back: Guys, guys... let's be civil here, let's make a deal! You go away and you won't die, what do you think of it?
One of the invaders laughs: and how do you intend to kill us?
Y/N: Oh no! I can't kill you but my girlfriend can
*The attackers are confused*
Y/N looking at Ellie behind the invaders: say "hi" love
Ellie: Hi.
I liked them all, can I say this is my favorite horror movie right now? I think so.
Can we call this short links? Something like that? (ok, i googled it and it's "incorrect quotes"
If you read it, thank you for reading my daydreams without feeling [forgive me for any mistakes, english is not my first language]
#🪼𓂃࣪˖ sori fic..ᐟ#evil dead rise#ellie bixler#maggot mommy#deadite ellie#danny evil dead rise#bridget evil dead rise#beth bixler#beth evil dead#incorrect quotes#incorrect evil dead rise quotes
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Crossover Ships Tournament Contestants
Alright, after putting it off for a bit (due to real life being busy and also I got lazy), I’ve finally gone through and prepared the list of ships for the tournament! Congrats to the lucky 64, and apologies to anyone else whose ship didn’t make it in. I did appreciate every single entry that followed the rules, though, and all the infodumps made me smile!
Before the list, however, I wanna say that this post and the eventual bracket matchup post are going to double as places to post your propaganda via replies and reblogs (or even asks). Going forward, I will use whatever propaganda people add to the posts/send via asks with permission to add as propaganda on the eventual bracket matches. By adding any sort of replies/tags/etc to any further tournament-related posts, you are consenting to having that propaganda added into the tournament. If you are uncomfortable with this, please state it outright on any posts/asks you might send.
Also the rule about fanart for the ships still remains; if you send/provide fanart, please also provide explicit permission from the original artist or proof that you made it yourself. Otherwise, I will not feel comfortable using it in the tournament.
With all that said, let’s meet our 64 ships for the tournament! Please let me know if anything is misspelled or any information is incorrect:
Bayonetta (Bayonetta)/Palutena (Kid Icarus)
Beastman (Masters of the Universe)/Lifeweaver (Overwatch 2)
Ben Tennyson (Ben 10)/Rex Salazar (Generator Rex)
Chibiusa (Sailor Moon)/Kid Trunks Briefs (Dragon Ball Z)
Damian Wayne (DC Comics)/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)
Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)
Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)/Jevil (Deltarune)
Ash Williams (Evil Dead)/Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)/Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)
Isabelle (Animal Crossing)/Wolf O’Donnell (StarFox)
Jake Long (American Dragon: Jake Long)/Juniper Lee (The Life and Times of Juniper Lee)
JD (Heathers the Musical)/Nathan Prescott (Life is Strange)
Jigglypuff (Pokemon)/Kirby (Kirby)
Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo)/Samurai Jack (Samurai Jack)
Leonardo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Yuichi Usagi (Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles)
Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Miles Morales (Marvel)
Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)/Toriel Dreemur (Undertale)
Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (Ducktales 2017)/Clover Ebi (RWBY)
Gyro Gearloose (Ducktales 2017)/Hazel Rainart (RWBY)
Gandra Dee (Ducktales 2017)/Winter Schnee (RWBY)
Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Whitley Schnee (RWBY)
Mogar (Xray and Vav)/David (Camp Camp)
Jimmy Neutron (Jimmy Neutron)/Timmy Turner (Fairly Oddparents)
Jane Porter (Tarzan)/Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet)
Max Goof (Disney)/Yakko Warner (Animaniacs)
Huey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Wakko Warner (Animaniacs)
Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)
Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)
Webby Vanderquack (Ducktales 2017)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)
Max (Camp Camp)/Phineas Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)
Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet)
Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone)/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) (Mob Psycho 100)
Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)/Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck)
Applejack (My Little Pony)/Hol Horse (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders)
Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)/Cinderella (Cinderella)
Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder)/Wilt Michaels (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends)
Ditzy Doo (My Little Pony)/The Doctor (Doctor Who)
Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)/Timothy Q. Mouse (Dumbo)
Sam Winchester (Supernatural)/Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)
Bowser (Super Mario)/Dr. Eggman (Sonic)
Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa)/Venti (Genshin Impact)
Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)
Alex Mercer (Prototype)/Desmond Miles (Assassin’s Creed)
Adrien Agreste aka Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)/Berry Shirayuki aka Mew Berry (Tokyo Mew Mew)
Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony)/Shockwave (Transformers Prime)
Floyd Leech (Twisted Wonderland)/Kanata Shinkai (Ensemble Stars)
Skales (Lego Ninjago)/Starscream (Transformers Prime)
Selina Kyle aka Catwoman (DC Comics)/Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy’s)/Wally Franks (Bendy and the Ink Machine)
Megaman (Megaman)/Pit (Kid Icarus)
Merida (Brave)/Rapunzel (Tangled)
Ange Ushiromiya (Umineko no Naku Koro Ni)/Rin Tohsaka (Fate/Stay Night)
Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine)/Cuphead (Cuphead)
Luca Paguro (Luca)/Maisie Brumble (The Sea Beast)
Princess Peach (Super Mario)/Samus Aran (Metroid)
Blossom Utonium (Powerpuff Girls)/Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory)
Daffy Duck (Looney Toons)/Donald Duck (Disney)
Kefer (Egyxos)/Dragon Shiryu (Knights of the Zodiac)
Gaz Membrane (Invader Zim)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)
Gregor (Star Wars the Clone Wars)/Harley Quinn (DC Comics)
Sally “Thorn” McKnight (Scooby Doo Franchise)/Skwisgaar Skwigelf (Metalocalypse)
Astro Tenma (Astro Boy (2009))/Wilbur Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)
Apollo (Percy Jackson)/Clark Kent aka Superman (Superman)
Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)/Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
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I'm sorry... wtaf @zykamiliah - did you even read MDZS or my initial post before writing your factually incorrect reply? Perhaps you should before doing so in the future...
You don't even have to understand his cultivation method to grasp the basic fact that the cultivation world FULLY understood WWXs guidao and chose to DISPARAGE it because a son of a servant dared to forge a new path that brought him immense power. Duh.
So of course that's not the takeaway. The takeaway is what you blatantly ignored in my original post... That some things are lost in translation and bringing important nuance that the original Chinese is rich with. Idiot.
I'm literally not even going to read your long assed reply because it is obvious you lack basic reading comprehension. WWX was never evil and he didn't do anything awful with it - if you'd had the common decency to actually read (you can do that right?) you would see that it was a fourth option that could SAVE souls. Try and wrap your tiny brain around that because highlighting translated text when I'm talking about the Chinese text is just stupid and embarrassing for you.
Your view of the whole novel is so far off it's ridiculous, I strongly suggest you read it again as your basic understanding of how resentment works and how it affects the dead is so far off it's not even funny.
FACT - The dead will rise if they carry resentment.
FACT - Using up that resentment helps them move on.
Ergo, you need to sit one of LQRs lessons and take some notes on cultivation before you can jump on this post and make it out like you know anything.
WWX respects the dead, he reburied them after they had used up resentment and even chatted with them! He was disgusted by XY claiming they were just objects to use. His path requires empathy, hence why XY is the true demonic cultivator in the novel. You really need to pay closer attention to a story when you're reading it. I don't even know why you bothered to write the above since, by your own admittance, you have not reread the novel and it's not your 'main'.
Everything I said in my original post are FACTS, based on actual text. So sorry if your headcanon doesn't fit with what the author intended, but that's MDZS. WWX is the moral ideal and guidao is not evil in the slightest.
So yeah, I will correct you, because you are most definitely wrong.
Guidao is beneficial to the dead, because it uses up their resentment and allows them to move on. WWX explained all this at the CR when he first theorised it. LQR only got annoyed because he wasn't listening to WWX properly (he had already judged him way before and was treating him unfairly) and he has a stick up his ass and is unwilling to budge from his precious rules and the "orthodox" method.
A lot of stuff floating around about the Chinese concept of hun and po souls in reference to MDZS at the moment, as well as the usual stuff concerning WWX's cultivation, yet again.
Very, very brief explanation on hun/po: When a person dies po souls stay with the dead body and eventually go back to the earth. The hun souls go up to the heavens to face retribution and eventual reincarnate.
Firstly, before I continue, this is not the same for all xianxia novels and beliefs around hun and po. But, from what I can see in the Chinese text, MXTX has it that the hun souls that usually go off to eventually reincarnate when someone dies are trapped on the earth and form ghosts/various types of moving corpses when they possess resentment. Hun is mentioned in a number of places and the most compelling evidence I've found is the name of the Gusu Lan's "evocation" song which is aptly named 招魂 (zhāo hún) - this is the song they play when they are trying to contact a restless spirit using a part of it's body or a beloved item.
This shows us that it is not the po souls they are trying to save or suppress, but the hun souls - they are actively trying to help people move on, unless they have to suppress or even destroy them (preventing them from reincarnating ever again) if they refuse to see reason and pose a threat to the living.
WWXs cultivation gives the souls trapped on earth another chance to move on if 'liberation' does not work. Rather than suppressing the soul and prolonging their time trapped on earth or completely destroying them as is the third and final option available to cultivators, he has invented a fourth option - to help the souls use up their resentment (in a safe and controlled manner) that allows them to move on and reincarnate also. WWXs cultivation method is NOT EVIL and does NOT DISRUPT the reincarnation cycle - he's helping the souls that would usually be suppressed or exterminated. He is saving hun souls by using guidao, he is helping them move on and live again where most cultivators would hunt and destroy them instead.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#wei wuxian#can we let moral ideals be what they are please#why bother replying if you didn't actually read my original post?#guidao is not harmful#the lesson during the CR arc could teach anyone that#so could the copious amount of facts that show us throughout the novel#LWJ would not be happy to let WWX use such a method if it were evil or damaging to souls#the lan sect would not even entertain the fact such a “evil heretic” was married into the sect either if that were the case#he's literally been (begrudgingly) accepted as his husband by the Lan clan! you think they'd do that if he were using an evil path? pft no!#why did you even bother
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Tedious Joys - Chapter 4 -
- Ao3 link -
It had been an inauspicious year to begin with.
A poor harvest led to famine among the common people, which in turn created conditions ripe for evil creatures of all sorts; the night-hunts that were often treated as playful competition by the cultivation world became more like the boring drudgery of everyday work, disciples setting off in packs on a regular basis all over, time and time again. The tension wore on the sects, some more than others, and dozens of small disputes began to rise up, needing to be dealt with. Lan Qiren’s schedule became busy, and then busier, and then became overwhelming; he was forced to discard one pastime after another in his efforts to hold back the rising tide, and in the end sacrificed sleep and sometimes meals to preserve only two: playing for Jiwei and spending time with his nephews.
It meant that he was unprepared, both mentally and physically, for word of the death of Cangse Sanren and her husband, which took over two years to finally come to ears of the Great Sects – such a shocking failure of information that Lan Qiren briefly wondered if it had been concealed intentionally.
The sudden shock of grief hit him hard.
He tried to convince himself that he had expected it, that she had expected it, that at least her son was now safe in the Lotus Pier, and yet all he could think about was that he had one less friend in the world. The sadness interfered with his focus, creeping in at all hours, uncontrollable, until one evening he was playing guqin with his nephews and looked up to find them both weeping uncontrollably from the music he was playing. When he tried to stop mid-song, he abruptly collapsed, and upon waking was informed that he had become feverish at some point in the night.
His sect doctors advised him to go into seclusion until he could control himself.
Lan Qiren refused.
They advised him again, this time with greater insistence, and with the support of his sect elders.
“Tell them to fuck off,” Lao Nie suggested, pouring a calming tea that he’d brought from Qinghe.
He’d come to visit with his sons, Nie Mingjue disappearing with Lan Xichen as always and Nie Huaisang engaged in the newest stage in his eternal battle of wills with Lan Wangji over a game of weiqi that they were both taking far, far too seriously.
(Despite knowing Lan Wangji and indeed Nie Huaisang better than most people alive, Lan Qiren honestly could not determine whether the two of them despised each other or were close friends. Lao Nie claimed the answer was both, simultaneously, but Lan Qiren didn’t understand that at all.)
“That is not how we do things here,” Lan Qiren said, accepting a cup. It was rude for him to allow a fellow sect leader who was his guest to serve him, rather than the other way around, but he had a headache from the persistent fever and exhaustion that was even more persistent, the boundless river of grief in his heart translating into physical agony, and anyway Lao Nie hadn’t exactly asked permission before proceeding. “It would be more appropriate for me to present a well-reasoned case for it not being necessary, based on rules, authority, and precedent.”
“Except you can’t put one together because you’re upset and tired,” Lao Nie said with a snort. “That’s stupid. You’re overworked, stretched too thin, you just found out that your friend is dead – you need sleep, not seclusion. Anyway, what happens if you do go into seclusion? Aren’t they always saying they need you to stick around to be Sect Leader so desperately?”
Lan Qiren rubbed his eyes. “It would not be true seclusion. I would be expected to continue certain parts of the work.”
“You’re joking.”
“It would be primarily administrative correspondence –”
“By that token, your brother ought to do it!”
Lan Qiren glared. “It’s not the same and you know it. And they are not wrong that I need rest.”
“From what I recall of what you’ve told me about your sect’s practice of seclusion, that’s not rest,” Lao Nie said acidly. “Surely there’s something I can do to help. I could send over some of my disciples…”
“Excellent idea,” Lan Qiren said, rolling his eyes. “We can replace all those rumors that I’ve been secretly pining for years over my best female friend with ones regarding my best male friend.”
“It is a little ‘hero rushes to save the lady’, isn’t it?” Lao Nie said thoughtfully, shaking his head in amusement. “But seriously, I came here for a reason, and it’s not Jiwei or A-Jue or anything like that. You’re always trying to help me, Qiren. For once, let me help you.”
Lan Qiren would normally protest this – because Lao Nie had so done many things for him over the years that it was an incorrect statement, because he hated the helpless feeling of letting someone do things for him, because that wasn’t something sect leaders did for each other – but he was tired and he feared seclusion and sometimes he thought it might be nice to do one thing that could be considered a little reckless before he died.
“Very well,” he said, closing his eyes and drinking the tea. “Do as you like.”
That was a dangerous thing to say to someone like Lao Nie, who promptly pulled three dozen Nie sect disciples from out of nowhere and sent them scurrying around hunting down evil with the energetic enthusiasm of youth entrusted with gigantic sabers and the freedom to use them as they would, while he himself settled in very happily in Lan Qiren’s home, sleeping on a guest bed, keeping away unwanted visitors and helping with any paperwork that didn’t explicitly require a Lan. He also recruited Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen to assist, despite Lan Qiren’s protests that bureaucratic busywork was not an appropriate way for boys of approximately fifteen and definitely twelve, respectively, to spend their time; both of them very solemnly assured Lan Qiren that they were more than happy to do whatever they could.
Even little Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang bullied their way into being involved, insisting that they wanted to do it more than they wanted to train or play, although at their ages there really wasn’t much they could do besides grind ink and run messages to the relevant recipients.
As Lan Qiren might have expected, rumors immediately started about some sort of torrid affair – life would be so much easier if everyone obeyed the rules against gossiping purposelessly – and they even got to the point that several of the sect elders cautiously hinted to him that although cutsleeve relationships were far from being in vogue, they had at no point been explicitly forbidden by the rules, and cited several provisions which seemed to favor such things.
Lan Qiren had thanked them for the reminder and caustically commented that he would be sure to incorporate that into his next set of lectures as he could see no other reason for them to mention it, and soon enough they backed off, shaking their heads. Still, those busybodies that had his best interests in mind were still preferable to the ones that started once more raising the idea of finding him a nice bride of suitable age – by suitable age, they meant too old for children, lest he get any idea of challenging his brother’s line of descent – before he did anything foolish like fall in love, or, worse, to act on it.
Obviously he had no intentions of permitting that.
Still, after a month of enforced rest, Lan Qiren was feeling a bit more himself. He took on more and more of the work, albeit supervised by five sets of judging eyes, and even began to play once more, this time without bringing anyone to tears. Jiwei and Xinfei rested together by the door in comfortable equilibrium, hot and cold, weak and powerful, and the jade pendant that Lan Qiren carried with him remained cool to the touch, not hot at all.
“You will need to go soon,” he told Lao Nie, who shrugged, not denying it – a month was a long time for a sect leader to be away from home absent some valid excuse like a war, not quite too long but starting to push it. No matter how effective one’s deputies were nor how much work one did from a distance, a sect leader was still necessary, in the end, or else Lan Qiren’s life would have been very different.
“Next week,” he said. “That’ll give me just enough time to take the boys home before heading back out again for the conference in Qishan.”
“There’s a conference? I wasn’t informed.”
“No, you weren’t, because I didn’t inform you,” Lao Nie said, utterly shameless. “You’re going to stay here and rest. It’s just a stupid party.”
“That doesn’t matter if it is also a stupid party which everyone else is attending,” Lan Qiren said sternly.
“Jiang Fengmian isn’t going, either,” Lao Nie said. “Doesn’t want to leave his new ward alone just yet…newest rumor has it that Wei Wuxian’s his bastard with Cangse Sanren.”
Lan Qiren shut his eyes. “Of course. Wasn’t I the one having the affair with her last week?”
“Perhaps it was a love triangle?”
“A square, at minimum. Don’t forget she had a husband.”
“A pyramid!”
“Lao Nie…”
Lao Nie laughed. “Jin Guangshan isn’t making it, either. His wife’s giving birth – predictions say to a daughter, I think, assuming this one survives the birth – and all accounts say that she’s threatened to cut his balls off if he even thinks of leaving Lanling City. So, you see, it really is just a stupid party, and by missing it you’ll be doing just the same thing as all the other Great Sects.”
Lan Qiren felt a sudden stab of misgiving. “Except you.”
“Except me,” Lao Nie said cheerfully. “Me and Hanhan.”
Lan Qiren truly did not want to know what went on in Lao Nie’s mind sometimes.
“Why don’t you refrain from going as well?” he asked, aware he sounded tetchy and irritable like some jealous wife in an opera. “If no one else is going.”
“Oh, I have to go. A-Han asked for me specifically,” Lao Nie said, and Lan Qiren thought to himself oh I’m certain he did, then promptly felt bad about doing so. Sneering for no reason was prohibited. “Someone’s gifted him with some magnificent saber for his collection, apparently, and he was boasting that it was the best there was right up until someone stuck their nose in it and said that it was all well and good but no comparison to my Jiwei.”
Lan Qiren could imagine exactly how well a statement like that had gone over with Wen Ruohan.
“And now he’s demanding you show up and produce evidence?” he asked, unimpressed.
Lao Nie grinned. “Ah, Qiren, it’s almost like you’ve met the man before.”
“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Lan Qiren said. “Why should you go just because he asked? He’s your equal, not your master.”
“There’s no harm in giving him some face.”
Lan Qiren could think of several ways that it could lead to harm, the inflation of Wen Ruohan’s already bloated ego being not the least of them, but Lao Nie was his equal as well, his equal and his elder. If the man had made up his mind, as it clearly appeared that he had, there was nothing Lan Qiren could say that would change it.
“Good luck, then,” he said, shaking his head, and called the boys to come in for dinner. As usual, the Lan half of the table remained mute while the Nie half did nothing but chatter, each according to their own family custom. It was a test of wills and endurance – Lan Wangji’s eye kept twitching every time Nie Huaisang filled in words for him, possibly due to the extremely high pitch Nie Huaisang chose to represent him – but it was a joy to share the time with them nonetheless.
Before Lao Nie left, Lan Qiren tried, not for the first time, to press the jade pendant that resonated with Jiwei into his hand. “You should take it with you,” he insisted. “Especially if you’re going to the Nightless City to exhibit your saber – there’s a great deal of resentful energy there, and you know that always gets Jiwei’s bloodlust up.”
“Which in turn will sharpen my reflexes, just when I need them most,” Lao Nie said, pressing the jade pendant right back into Lan Qiren’s hand. “Better you have it.”
“Lao Nie…”
“Jiwei likes you now,” Lao Nie said, as if that mattered. “She’s been just as avid to protect you as I’ve been, this past month – if I didn’t need her by my side, I’d almost be tempted to leave her here with you.”
Lan Qiren arched his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting that I can’t protect myself? Here? In the Cloud Recesses?”
“Saber spirits are not smart, Qiren. But even she can tell that you’re not well yet.”
Lan Qiren waved a hand dismissively. “Well enough,” he said, and it was even true – the grief was still there, of course, and likely would be every time he thought of Cangse Sanren in the near future, excluding maybe the few times when it was one of his students that resembled her only in terms of how much mischief she would get up to, but it was no longer drowning him. He had hope that, in time, this wound would also scab over and the hurt fade, and that at that time he could once again think of her with nothing but joy.
Lao Nie huffed. “Well enough isn’t well,” he grumbled, but that didn’t stop him from gathering his children and his disciples and heading out back towards Qinghe. “Take care of yourself, Qiren! Be well!”
“And you,” Lan Qiren said. “Keep out of trouble, my friend.”
From what he later heard, the party at the Nightless City went about as anyone with half a brain might have expected: Wen Ruohan swanned around until Lao Nie showed up, there were tense words exchanged, and then Lao Nie produced Jiwei, allowing Wen Ruohan to examine her and even pat her a few times before the Wen sect leader was forced, with great reluctance and through gritted teeth, to admit her superiority to the saber he had received.
The stories ended there, but Lan Qiren had enough imagination to fill in how the rest of the night might have gone, especially with the only sect leaders there being Lao Nie and Wen Ruohan. He sincerely hoped that Lao Nie had remembered all those lectures he’d given him about the foolishness of lying in the same bed as poisonous snakes, no matter how beautiful they might be on the surface.
Perhaps he had, perhaps he hadn’t.
Either way, Lan Qiren heard nothing else until the day he interrupted his own afternoon lecture with a sudden cry of intense pain – the jade pendant had abruptly gone so hot that it had burned, and although his clothing, protected by stitched-in incantations, was unharmed, the heat was so severe that it had nevertheless left a mark on his thigh through all those layers.
Clutching at his leg, Lan Qiren ordered his students to run to fetch him cold water and a doctor, and wondered what in the world had happened.
A letter, he decided. He would write Lao Nie a letter to ask.
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Witch Bitch
Pairing: Bucky x Witch!Reader
Word Count: 3,943
Warnings: witch stuff, burning at the stake 😳
A/N: this is heavily inspired by american horror story: coven bc i recently watched and ive been binging all of it lately but its not necessary to know anything about ahs lol i kinda just used their fancy magical terminology and concepts bc they were cool🤪
MAIN MASTERLIST
The best time of the day was breakfast. It was the time when Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were most often together. Sometimes training overlapped and they missed lunch. Sometimes missions ran long or friends were in town and they missed dinner. But the morning? They were all early birds, all awake by seven. They took that shared characteristic and shared breakfast together whenever they could. Bucky usually took care of the coffee, Sam usually took care of the eggs and bacon, and Sharon usually took care of the bagels, toasting them to perfection before slathering on a layer of cream cheese.
It was a moment of peace in their day. Quiet before the noise of the gym or the conference room or the jets or the private trainings or the interviews with prospective agents or anything else they do on a daily basis. It was a time for three friends to just sit and eat and enjoy each other's company as though they are just that: three friends. Not super soldiers or captains or special agents. Just people being normal. Normal doesn’t last long, though. It never does for them.
Bucky’s on dish washing duty this morning while Sam and Sharon chat idly behind him, waiting for him to finish so they can all leave together. A soft voice interrupts them, though, making the three of them stop what they’re doing because no one has access to this floor except for the people that live here - meaning them three.
“Who’s in charge here?” You ask.
“Who the hell are you?! How did you get up here?!” Sharon asks, ignoring your question.
You were in a long, flowy black skirt, slit cut in the left side exposing your leg, and a long-sleeve black shirt, tucked beneath the waistband. Think black boots cover your feet and a black hat sits on your head to complete your look. Bucky almost doesn’t notice the folded black umbrella underneath your arm as his eyes trail down the multiple chains and necklaces around your neck, falling between your breasts.
“I’ve been trying to find someone to help me but the people in this building are not very helpful. I figured I’d find who’s in charge myself, something that you all don’t seem to want to help me with, either.” You explain.
“The only way to even enter this building is through strict appointment and background checks, and no one’s even allowed past the nineteenth floor.” Sam explains.
“Why are you entertaining this? I’m getting her out of here.” Sharon says, moving to walk towards you to take you out of the building herself.
As she nears closer and closer, you wave your hand lazily, without taking your eyes off Bucky, the only one who hasn’t said anything this whole time, and Sharon collapses on the floor soundlessly.
“Jesus!”
“What did you do!”
Both Bucky and Sam panic as they rush to Sharon’s body on the floor. They frantically run their hands over her body, looking for the point of injury that made her collapse the way she did, but they find nothing. No holes, no blood; she didn’t even make a sound.
“She’s not breathing and she doesn’t have a pulse, what the fuck did you do to her?!” Sam yells at you.
You roll your eyes, “Okay, you got me. I don’t need help finding who’s in charge, I already know it’s you. I still do need your help, though.”
You’re ignored as the two men hover over their friend, unsure of what to do or what even happened to her.
“Oh, alright, move.” You order them, stepping over Sharon’s body.
You stand before her, lifting your hands to hover over her body before closing your eyes and letting out a deep and long exhale. Bucky and Sam watch as it takes only about seven seconds for their friend to suddenly gasp for air, jumping back to life. The boys crowd her once more, checking her eyes, her pulse, everything to convince themselves that she’s actually alive like that, and if she was even dead in the first place.
Sam finally looks back up at you from the ground, as though he just remembered that you’re there, “What are you?”
You smirk in response, ready to finally get what you came here for.
…
“So, you’re a witch?” Sam asks, the four of them now occupying a private conference room for some privacy.
“A witch who killed me.” Sharon adds.
“And a witch that brought you right back.” You reply, leaning back on your chair, leg crossed over your knee, slit exposing your thigh. Bucky’s eye twitch to look at your bare skin for a second before returning to meet your eyes.
“So… what do you do?” Bucky asks.
You smile at his innocent curiosity, “All witches don’t have one universal power. Some are clairvoyant, some do voodoo, some dabble in pyrokinesis, divination, transmutation, descendum,” You glance over to Sharon, who’s still pouting at you, “Resurrection.”
“And can you do all of those?” Bucky asks.
“Almost all of them, but I’m not here to talk about me.”
“Why are you here?” Sharon asks.
“You guys hunt the Nazi’s, right?” You ask, aiming your question towards Sam, knowing he’s the Captain in charge.
“Hydra, yes.” He confirms.
“Well, your Nazi’s somehow got a hold of my magic. And they are playing with very dangerous fire,” You begin.
Bucky interrupts, “We’re all for taking down Hydra, but, don’t you think you’re a little more… powerful than us?” He asks.
“Bucky!” Sharon slaps his arm, as though she’s shocked that he would ever admit such a thing.
“I am. But I’m not that powerful, either. Not anymore, at least. A group of those Hydra invaded the coven my sisters and I were at. I was the only one that escaped.” You tell them.
“Did Hydra take them?” Sam asks.
“No, they killed them.” You respond, growing irritated as the subject grows touchier and touchier.
“Can’t you just bring them back like you did me?” Sharon inquires.
“No! I can’t. Like I said, I’m not that powerful anymore. Maybe I’d be able to bring back a house full of dead girls when it was me and twelve others but it’s just me now. I wouldn’t come all the way over here if I had other options.”
Silence grows over the group as they process what you’ve gone through. Surviving through the massacre of your fellow witches and not being powerful enough to find the people that did it on your own. You’re vulnerable.
“So what can we do?” Sam asks, ready to join forces with you.
“Help me locate the men who did this so I can handle the magic part.” You tell him.
“What magic do they have?”
“Although witches control most of the magic, sometimes it can be taken on in… physical forms. Specifically blood. The blood they retrieved was from a witch that was skilled in Vitali Vitalis.”
“The alive within the living.” Bucky translates.
“There are two worlds: the living and the dead,” You begin to explain, “Vitali Vitalis keeps the balance between these two things and it’s one of the most difficult powers for a witch to master. Oftentimes it’s used to give parts of your own life, health, and energy to someone who needs it. But it can also allow you to take life from someone and give it to yourself.”
“Like immortality?” Sam questions.
“Not quite. Any witch can be killed with a knife or bullet. This kind of magic keeps you from dying of age. I’ve only ever known one witch who mastered it.”
“What happened to her?”
“She used it for evil, like this. Took the souls of hundreds in order to allow herself to live for almost three centuries. Until she was killed, of course.” You finish, a small smile on your lips knowing that she got what she deserved.
“What, you burn her at the stake?” Sharon jokes.
“Yes, actually. We did.” You tell her matter-of-factly, becoming more and more irritated at the fact that she doesn’t seem to take this is as seriously as you are.
Bucky interrupts, sensing the rising tension between the two girls, “So when we find these guys, you’re going to burn them at the stake, too?” He asks.
“Yes,” You say, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “The consequence of using magic like this for evil is death by fire. I hope you all don’t think the rules will change on account of these men being Nazi’s?”
“Well, we just have a different way of doing things -” Sam begin to defend
“Yes, I’m aware. The countless destruction caused by you and other militaries, the millions of innocent lives lost yearly, not only in the constant war and irresponsible handling of your nuclear and alien weaponry, but by incorrect prosecution. Not to mention the billions of dollars spent on your ridiculous prison systems that don’t work when actual bad people escape and the death penalty practices in certain states. I just figured my way was easier. And cheaper.” You reply.
Silence crowds over the four of them once more as they think over all their options.
“I’m in.” Bucky speaks first.
“Me, too. Even if I don’t like you.” Sharon follows.
“Feeling’s mutual, dear.” You smile at her.
The three of them look to Sam, waiting for his commitment as well.
“Alright. Let’s get to work.”
Plans were made, theories of location were thought of, and plans to execute the mission were put into place, all of which included you. A temporary room was given to you when the information of your lack of a place to stay was brought to light. Only for the duration of this mission, is what Sam told you, but you can spot the amount of love and light in his heart from miles away.
It was later that night, and you’ve since cleansed the room, going as far as to place a protective spell on the entire floor. You’ve lost too much already, and you’re not about to risk anything.
A knock at the door sounds and the visitor you’d been expecting has finally arrived. You walk towards the door, still in your clothes from earlier but now you’ve removed your shoes, and open the door to reveal Bucky.
“I was waiting for you.” You tell him.
“How’d you know I’d come?” He asks, stepping through the door when you step aside, silently gesturing to him to enter.
“I can hear your thoughts. You've been debating whether or not to come see me for the past thirty minutes. Your mind is very loud.”
“Tell me about it.” He mumbles to himself, thinking about the countless nightmares, voices, and all the other reminders of just how loud his mind was.
“You can ask all your questions, you know. I won’t take any offence. You’re just curious.” You tell him, settling on your bed, hoping he’ll join you and stop hovering near the door.
Luckily he takes the hint and takes a seat across from you.
“I’ve never met a witch before. A real one, I mean. Like, someone born a witch. Like Salem witches -”
“I understand.” You chuckle lightly.
“You don’t seem… afraid of me. Or, hesitant, rather.” You tell him, thinking about how he’s received your presence here compared to his colleagues.
“I was wary when you killed my friend, but… you just need some help, is all. I’m sorry, by the way, I’m not sure if I said it before, but, I’m sorry for what happened to your friends.” He tells you.
He’s very polite. But you supposed that’s not abnormal considering he got his manners from the 1920’s. You like it, though. You give him an appreciative smile before giving him the okay to ask you whatever he wanted.
“So you said that witches can master multiple powers but have one specialty; is yours resurrection?”
“Yes; it was the first power I ever exhibited when I was a teenager. I was about fourteen or fifteen. My next mastered skill is descendum and then clairvoyance, where I was in my twenties, or so.” You tell him as he looks at you with pure fascination in his eyes.
“What is - what is descendum?”
You pause, “The power to descend your soul down into the afterlife - to hell. And return alive.”
His eyes widened, not even knowing that was something someone can do; not even knowing that hell existed in the first place, “So, you’ve been to hell?”
“Yes. I’ve also been able to retrieve people from hell, their soul. A variation of my power of resurrection, I suppose.” You explain, not being too fond of that power; descending to hell.
Bucky sits in silence for a few minutes, and you let him. You can hear the question lingering around in his head; what he’s thinking. But you let him build up his own courage to ask it. You know he’s only scared of the answer; the answer you know he’s not going to like.
“What is hell like?” He whispers.
“It doesn’t matter what my hell is like. Everyone has their own personal hell they experience when they die.” You tell him.
Confusion clouds his features as he registers your answer.
“Is there… Is there no heaven?”
You smirk, “It’s nice that you’ve remained religious after all this time.”
“Yes, there's heaven. But only for the purest and most innocent of souls. And rarely do people escape life without sin. Everyone has evil in them.” You tell him, knowing it’s a harsh truth that no one wants to hear.
The people Bucky’s killed, the crime he’s committed, the families he’s hurt; it all passes through his mind. Everyone has evil in them.
“What was your hell like?”
“I’m not telling you that.” You tell him quickly.
Bucky ponders what his own hell will be like, after seeing the way you’re clearly shaken up about your own. The fall from the train. The man in a lab coat sawing off the rest of his arm. The needles poking through his skin in the middle of some facility. The chair.
He doesn’t realize that he’s looked away from you until he snaps his thoughts back to the present and sees he’s looking down into his lap. He glances up to see your face, your soft features and kind eyes staring at him. He glances from your eyes to your lips and back up again before clearing his throat, not realizing how close he got to you during his time here sitting on your bed.
“You know, I, uh, I should go. Thank you for, uh, answering my questions, but we head out pretty - pretty early tomorrow, so,” He trails off, standing and patting down his shirt to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in a nervous habit.
He makes his way towards the door and his hand touches the knob when he hears your voice, “Hey, Bucky?” He turns slightly to face you again, a hum to indicate for you to continue.
“Thank you for coming to see me. And thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me. You’re a very good person.” You tell him sincerely.
He gives you a nod of you’re welcome before exiting.
He’s not sure if you told him that because you truly mean it, or if it’s because of the state of anxiety and existential crises you’ve put him in now that he’s going to be thinking about his personal hell, but he appreciates it, nonetheless.
He thinks you’re a pretty good person, yourself.
…
The mission goes off without a hitch. The combined skill of the Avengers’ stealth, spyware, and experience along with your magic and witchery makes for an easy capture of the men who killed your witch sisters and stole your magic.
It’s not long before the facility they were at was shut down and cleared out, arresting any officers and rescuing any prisoners or hostages, and the five men specifically responsible for the destruction of your coven are in separate custody. What’s left of the blood is returned to you, as well.
That’s where the group of you stand now, a decision to be made about the criminals you’ve captured. To be put in the maximum security prison floating in the ocean, or to be put to death by fire.
“I don’t believe in being the executioner of people.” Sam tries to convince.
You can’t help but let a laugh escape you, “Do you know who you work for?! Do you know who you are?!” You remind him.
“Those guys can’t escape the Raft.” He tries, referring to prison in the middle of the ocean you’ve heard about.
“You did.” You respond, knowing about when Steve Rogers took him out of that prison, along with other superheros.
You see Bucky and Sharon look between the two of you, torn between how these Hydra criminals should receive their fate. Staring into the hot depths of flames or rotting alone in a cell? Both seem to be too merciful, in Bucky’s opinion.
“This isn’t just running the facility or experiments, Sam. This is different. They were using dark magic to commit crimes. Maybe they should face the consequences of a dark-magic-punishment.” Sharon offers.
You don’t have time to be shocked at Sharon agreeing with you and picking your side before Bucky agrees and Sam is outnumbered. He stares at you and gives a single nod, allowing you to do this your way.
You smile, a silent thank you for giving you the closure and opportunity to serve justice to those who did you harm. “Off to Massachusetts, then.” You tell them, and Sam takes his seat in the pilot's chair, Bucky accompanying him in the front of the jet.
You take a seat, making yourself comfortable for the flight to Salem and you feel a body take the seat next to you. You glance up to see Sharon looking at you, but you notice she has something in her hand, offering it to you.
You look down to see a small plastic bag of fruit gummies. But not just any fruit gummies, you realize. Halloween themed fruit gummies. The pictures on the outside show the various options inside: witch’s hat, a broom stick, a melting pot, a vial, and a magic wand. Hilarious.
You take the gummies, though, accepting her attempt at a truce.
It’s not long before you and your temporary teammates find themselves standing before a large, empty field, multiple wooden stakes standing about fifteen feet tall scattered about with plenty of space in between.
You lead the walk to a group of them standing tall in line, so the men can be burned at the same time, as opposed to one by one. A group of large, burly agents lug the Hydra operatives along, behind you and the rest of the team.
Bucky hangs around your left, as to not be in the way of the black umbrella held in your right hand, and Sam and Sharon trail behind you. You can sense their uneasiness and tune out their worried thoughts. Everyone’s first burning is always an experience; they’ll get over it.
Bucky doesn’t seem worried, though. In fact, you can’t hear his thoughts this time around. But he still stands tall and straight, walking with confidence, so you make a safe assumption that he’s okay.
None of the men’s cuffs or shackles are removed, but thick rope is tied on top of it, around the wrist and looped around the waist, tying them to the stake. The cuffs are special grade - high tech Avengers vibranium - and they can be retrieved later once the fire burns out.
“Any last words?” You ask, more for tradition than whether or not you actually care.
They look scared, obviously not expecting their fate to look anything like this. You remember seeing Bucky tackle one of them in the facility, prying his mouth open to rip out a tooth, or what looked like a tooth, like a dog caught eating something it wasn’t supposed to. A cyanide pill.
Silence comes from them, except for one of them, “Hail Hydra!” He yells, as if that cowardly and pathetic phrase would change anything.
With a raise of your hand, seemingly with no effort, you wave it and the stakes all begin to rise up in flames. There’s nothing to spark, no twigs, no gasoline, nothing, and Bucky watches as the flames rise, growing stronger as they engulf the five men. They begin to scream, and Bucky looks over at you, as if to confirm you didn’t bring gasoline or something with you, and he sees a smile slowly grow on your lips.
They haven’t stopped screaming; they’re still alive when you turn and begin to walk back the way everyone came. Bucky follows, and eventually Sam and Sharon do, too, the other agents staying behind until the end to retrieve the cuffs and shackles that will survive the fire.
“So, now what?” Sharon asks, the air quieter as the screams have slowly stopped in the distance.
I can’t imagine what kind of paperwork follows this, “Back to the tower.” Sam responds.
“The coven’s only a short walk from here.” You say, not needing to elaborate much more. The men have been caught and brought to justice, but you still have a broken, battered, and beaten down coven to fix.
A friend of yours was meant to go by and retrieve the… bodies. Which you’re grateful for. But magic won’t help you fix the walls, the floors, mop the blood, or find other witches in need of an escape and a place to improve and master their powers. You have a lot of work to do.
As the view of the jet gets closer, you prepare to bid your goodbyes to the Avengers, your thank you’s as well. Regardless of your attitude towards them before, you couldn’t have done this without them.
A metal hand engulfs yours, pulling you back a bit as Sam and Sharon continue on.
“Do you need any help?” Bucky’s warm and gentle voice floods your ears, hand still in yours.
“You guys have been more than enough help, now, really.” You try to tell him, but he has none of it.
“You may be tough, but you can’t fix up that house by yourself,” He tells you, “I can be pretty handy, fixed up a few things back in my day.” A soft smile grows on his face.
You glance over his shoulder as Sam and Sharon wait by the entrance of the jet, “Don’t you have to go back?”
“They won’t miss me.” He tells you, not even looking back to confirm with his teammates, hand dropping to run it through his hair.
You giggle at him, before giving him a shy nod in answer to his offer to help you fix up your big house.
“I’m going to hang out here for a few days.” He yells over his shoulder.
“We figured.” Sam calls out, and Sharon throws you a wave as they board the jet, the opening close after them.
“Lead the way?” Bucky offers you, taking your hand once more, interlocking the fingers this time.
And so the two of you are off, one of your hands still clutching the umbrella, holding it above your head, and the other hand interlaced with the one of a handsome and kind super soldier. This wasn’t the way Bucky expected the last two days to transpire, but he’s glad they led to holding the hand of a very pretty witch.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x witch!reader#marvel#bucky oneshot#love me some magic#also if anyone watches ahs... hmu i love it#ive watched all of them except cult and im currently rewatching freak show rn
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Vampire Fact #7 - Becoming a vampire
Remember the handy post on ways to become a werewolf in folklore vs pop culture? Here’s one of those but for vampires!
Please note, as usual, that this is not going to cover the full range of possibilities, but it will cover the most common/most popular ones. This applies to both folklore and pop culture. And of course, again, I’ll save a full list for when I write my book on vampires, you know?
Please bear in mind that a lot of these come from Romania and other regions of Eastern Europe, which are rich with vampire folklore that is some of the best-preserved that scholars currently have for study. It is essentially the baseline of what we consider “vampires” today.
Something to think about before we enter into this list, of course, is that I want to re-emphasize - and I will do this several times in this post - that vampirism was not a “disease” like it sometimes is considered today. Although vampires were often associated with disease in folklore, vampirism itself is not a disease. It is either a demonic being that is a vampire, or else it is a curse. Vampires have this in common with werewolves of pop culture today that being a vampire is some kind of infectious disease they can pass on to others (here is how lycanthropy isn’t a disease at all in folklore, ever), but that isn’t really a thing in folklore.
Appeared in folklore
Being a demon - A lot of vampires in folklore were not humans at all. They were demons taking the shape of humans (sometimes; they didn’t always maintain that shape, sometimes appearing as mist). It’s important to mention this one because I cannot emphasize enough that vampirism in folklore is generally a demon, demonic possession, or a curse, not a disease like it so often is today.
Demonic possession - Plenty of times, a vampire in folklore is the result of a demon possessing a corpse, and again, they aren’t really humans at all, per se.
Being born cursed, becoming vampire after death - There are all sorts of reasons for this (see the last entry in this “appeared in folklore” list, though even that doesn’t cover all of them). One could be born with the curse of vampirism - but that would only manifest after the person died.
Being cursed - Sometimes somebody just straight-up doesn’t like someone else and then they curse them. After that person dies, they’ll return as a vampire because of the curse. This often didn’t require some complex ritual, because in the olden days, even saying “damn you” was literally considered a curse - this is why it’s called a “curse word.” If you say that to someone, you are literally cursing that person, wishing them to be damned.
Violent life/violent death - Someone who lived a violent life - if they were a killer, if they mutilated others, whatever - and then also died a violent death, such as if they were murdered, would rise again as a vampire.
Incest/born out of wedlock - What it says on the tin. The child would be cursed and then become a vampire after death.
Incorrect burial rites - Gotta get those burial rites correct. Mess them up, and the person will rise again as a vampire. You don’t just stick a person in the ground. Extra measures might be taken to prevent the person becoming a vampire, too, like burying the corpse face-down or sticking needles or a stake in it, as mentioned in this post on weaknesses.
Ignoring traditions - You may have heard of strigoi or the similar word striga from a certain popular fantasy game - or maybe you never played the first one; you should - but it isn’t what you think. A strigoi is a spirit, and if one does not properly undertake the right funerary feasts in the right time period after a person’s death, then that person might rise again as a strigoi - in other words, a vampire of sorts. This basically falls into the same category as incorrect burial rites, but it’s slightly different because these traditions may need to be held more than once, such as once a year, in order to keep the spirit pleased.
Animals jumping over corpses/graves - Cats, dogs, horses, you name it. Animals jumping over graves was not a good thing, especially for the recently interred or those in the process of being buried. They’d probably return from the dead as a vampire.
Suicide - There are some stories in which committing suicide can result in a vampire, such as one tale of a man who hangs himself, becomes a vampire, and then still pursues his girlfriend, who spurns his advances because he’s an evil spirit now. He does not, however, want to drink her blood, because not all vampires actually wanted/needed to do that (more on that later).
Many strange and specific happenstances - These include but are not limited to: not eating garlic during life, a pregnant woman not eating salt during her pregnancy, if the mother of a child is a witch and/or uses spells and incantations, if someone lives an amoral life (such as obtaining money falsely, for instance, as well as being violent etc. as mentioned before), if a pregnant woman is seen by a vampire (and given the evil eye; a big deal in folklore)... all of these would result in the person and/or the child in question becoming a vampire after death, but they would not be born this way. All of these emphasize that being a vampire is a curse, often put upon those who do not live moral lives. Or, I guess, those who don’t eat their proper anti-vampire diet.
Did NOT appear in folklore
Almost any case of a vampire “creating” another vampire - This wasn’t really a thing in folklore. Much like how lycanthropy wasn’t considered a “contagious disease” in any fashion in folklore, being a vampire was a curse, and it wasn’t something they could pass on. Events in a person’s life, whether in or out of their control, determined whether they would become a vampire; this is especially true of Romanian folklore.
Blood transfusion - They didn’t really do blood transfusions back when - though drinking blood was a thing, actually, and not just for vampires; more on that later, though - so obviously there’s no vampire folklore where you put a vampire’s blood into someone else and then that person becomes a vampire, for so many reasons.
Drinking vampire blood - Nope. In fact, a vampire’s heart was sometimes eaten or the ashes of the heart drank by someone in order to destroy a vampire.
Biting a human - Nope. First of all, vampires in folklore didn’t really have the signature fangs to leave those fang marks that means someone will turn into a vampire. Vampires drank blood from their victims all the time and no one ended up becoming a vampire from it, really.
And that’s all for now!
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#vampire#vampires#vampire friday#vampire fact#folklore#folklore fact#mythology#vampire facts#vampirism#monsters
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bloom (demon!y!hs) (nsfw)

do not read if you are not into yandere fic! hs is a demon jackass pls save urself!
in which hoseok finds you in his garden and his love begins to bloom
contents: demon!yandere!hoseok, kidnapping, manipulation, oral (f receiving), sex!!! i gotta spoil it they fuck! and hoseok kinda says some...sub stuff idk :/
word count: 5.2k
a/n: thanks for the requests ! <3 i got off track from building this universe and i ended up sorta negating the law that demons and angels can’t interact buttttttt reader still kinda has a moral dilemma ? >.<
IMPORTANT before they start fuckin, reader has a moment of confusion and suspects that hoseok has intentionally magically warped her mind into consenting but that’s not the case reader is just dumb! thank u also i don’t know much about flowers or hell so i’m sorry if any info is incorrect :( lmk and i will fix immediately (and let’s pretend hoseok’s dog is a girl bc i didn’t know that until googling it for this fic)
and mb that this is coming a month after i said it would :( school is beating my ass hard anyways pls enjoy
*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚ ゜゚*☆*゚
Hoseok once had a mother a mere three-thousand or so years ago and she named him well. His name fell off her tongue in a major key and rang across acres and through caverns. She never failed to say his name in gargantuan font to be heard across nations; the syllables “Ho-seok” had chimed through shadowy deserts of Hell, Heaven, and Earth for as long as he lived. Hoseok was always big and known - a beacon of diabolic energy; it was his birthright.
His mother was long gone, but remained in a photograph which he always kept on his person (demon?). It was supposed that even immortals had to walk forward into new lives after some time. His father had been around for around one hundred years after, and his sister had moved on when he was barely a thousand. The only companion of Hoseok’s, the only one left, was a shih tzu who followed him even when he treated her with indifference. Hoseok had great power and an abundance of Earth men who sold him their souls, but the loneliness which plagued him was indescribable.
“News for you, my Lord. Taehyung has declared he is but one sure meeting from stealing the Park soul for work to complete in the Circle of Fraud. He has said to be back in less than a fortnight.”
The assistant, doe-eyed and snake-tongued, stared at the wall behind Hoseok as he recited the news from one of hell’s most talented demons, who was currently on a sabbatical to inspect the soul of an Earth man with an itch to be with a woman he saw on the train a year prior. Taehyung had come bustling into Hoseok’s quarters one day, spewing gibberish about the perfect human to become his next target. Hoseok’s chest twinged a bit when Taehyung explained that this Park Jimin schmoe had been stalking this woman for months and was willing to practically sell his soul to be with her (enter Taehyung). “How wonderful,” he said wistfully, yearning for a perfect confidante like this Jimin character had found. At Hoseok’s glassy expression, Taehyung had to withhold a shiver.
Hoseok took a long moment to respond. He stared at his assistant, wondering if he, too, yearned for such a dream, or if perhaps he had even already found his match made in hell. The assistant’s nose twitched like a rabbit.
“Thank you, Jungkook. You may go,” Hoseok said apathetically. He robotically spun on his heels and exited Hoseok’s office with heavy footsteps. Hoseok stretched in his chair, debating if he should charm the assistant’s feet to grow dead and swollen and moldy to teach him not to walk so damn loud all the time.
The shih tzu yapped happily around Hoseok’s feet as he slowly rose from his desk to stare out the window to his left, which displayed miles and miles of lush greenery and delicate flowers of all colors. He conjured the garden around when his sister passed on. She, too, had an infatuation for infatuation and longed for a faraway place to water a romance. Once, they peeked into their father’s seeing portal as children and stumbled upon two lovers in a field of flowers.
(Hoseok did not possess his own soul, but if he did, it would be prickly and tar-like and scary. He was on the cusp of royalty in the underworld. He was evil.)
Still, Hoseok clutched the memory of those lovers in the flowers with tight fists. How magnificent it was to just be in the shadows of lovers. Oh, how the feeling crawled over him like a crowd of tarantulas. He was evil, and was sure he would never experience such a joy. At least he had his garden.
Hoseok felt your presence before his foot even touched the grass that day. He froze in the doorway for a moment, closing his eyes to sense where the intruder was. Within seconds, he discovered your exact location within the field that went on forever. He let out a breath as his feet hit the ground, now teleported a thousand miles from his home. He opened his eyes and choked for a second. His senses were going haywire - the grass was a million shades greener and the flowers seemed to bloom bigger before him. It was beautiful.
As soon as you became completely engulfed in the sickly red hot aura, you went ramrod straight and dropped the bundle of flowers in your hands. It filled every one of your pores and poured down your intestines like lava. You did not even get the chance to gasp - after the instant it came, it burned too much to inhale or exhale. You stared forward straight into the field, wondering how this spirit did not wilt all of the garden. You didn’t dare look in the direction it was coming from.
“What are you doing here?” Hoseok spoke finally after a long moment of thick silence. The typical malice in his tone had completely vanished. He was sure now - he loved you. “Angel...are you lost?” He thought about kneeling to get on your level, but hesitated, awkward in his actions. What was he supposed to do with his hands?
Slowly, you trailed your eyes over to where those awful vibrations were originating from. Your stomach twisted when you saw him simply standing five meters away. You became filled with an indescribable dread. A demon, horns and all, staring at you and speaking with tenderness. You began to blubber immediately.
“I’m so, so sorry, I-I was just looking for a f-f-flower I heard you had, oh, dear God, I’m so sorry!” You were inconsolable, dropping your head towards your knees in surrender. Just feeling him that great distance away put you in shambles. You were young and naïve, but you knew what happened to Heaven’s Souls that were caught sneaking in the Circles. Your cries only worsened when his aura became stronger and more painful with every footstep. You suddenly felt an overwhelming warmth on your back and your cries immediately halted like magic.
“Don’t cry anymore.” His voice seemed to boom even when he was trying his hardest to keep it soft. “Nothing is going to happen to you. Speak freely...tell me how you arrived here.” His hand trailed up your back to rest on your neck. He wanted nothing more than for you to relax against him.
“I-I was...searching for a flower. I had heard about a secret garden in the Fraudulent Circle...one with every flower to have existed. I-I’m so sorry. Please, have mercy!” You began sobbing again into your hands, holding them close to your face when you felt his gentle touch around your wrists. “I only died just last year…I don’t want to vanish, please!”
Your wails struck a tune in Hoseok’s ribcage like a kalimba. He grabbed your fearful face in his hands and wiped your tears with his thumb. You held your breath in shock at how gentle he was.
“Not a single soul has trespassed my garden and escaped vanishing.” Your bottom lip wobbled at that, and he ran a thumb along it to still it. “But you...sweet angel...I couldn’t dare do that to you.”
Your mind raced, knowing how clever demons could be and especially such a powerful one like him. He was devastatingly handsome - if you were still on Earth, you would have melted right into his hands.
His smile is twisted. “Lover...do you know who I am?” He stared down at you in admiration, rising a bit on his knees to hover over your face.
Slowly and fearfully, you shook your head. He pressed a ghost of a kiss on your lips as he turned to your ear and whispered softly, “Ho-seok.”
The hairs on the back of your neck stood straighter and your whole body erupted with goosebumps. You stared at him with wide eyes.
Hoseok. A name you knew of well, even when you were human. Hearing him whisper that name into your ear like that made your knees shake a second more rapidly. It felt as though the blue skies above had darkened into a hellish black hole. He chuckled at your terrified expression, smoothing your hair back with a burly hand.
“Are you scared?” He couldn’t help himself from asking. Your glassy eyes made him both sad and also weak-kneed. He decided in that moment that he especially loved to tease you.
You nodded again and Hoseok cooed, playfully squishing your cheeks a bit.
“You’re such a young one, aren’t you? Just a baby,” he mumbled, running his hands along your cheekbones, through your hair, across your forehead. Chills continuously crawled up your spine as he fawned over you like some sort of doll. You understood where you were going before you began your trip, but you truly felt it now - this was Hell.
“There is no reason to fear me. I couldn’t hold any malice toward a soul so beautiful...even better that you are an angel. I can easily arrange a place for you in my fortress if you so please.” Something in his tone warned you that it didn’t matter what you pleased. You gave a small nod, letting him take your hand in his. He held it to his face, inhaling deeply and pressing wet kisses along your forearm. “Really? You don’t mind sharing a space with a big, bad demon like me?” He chuckled darkly against your palm and you bit your lip nervously.
“No,” you murmured quietly. He was tricking you. You could feel it in your bones.
He smiled widely, also seeing completely through you. He knew then that he would need to put in some work to turn you over. He placed a hand on your back once more and leaned to bring his forehead to yours, and in less than a second, you had found yourself teleported to a cozy study with velvet carpets. Your stomach turned with anxiety at the thought of your friends and family not knowing where you had disappeared off to - you weren’t even sure if you were still in a Circle of Hell or some other evil place. Hoseok stood up slowly and brought you by the hand to behind his desk, perching you on his lap.
“Tell me, angel, where are you from?” He conjured a brush out of thin air and ran it through your hair like he would a doll. You clenched your fists in an attempt to get your voice under control.
“I was told that I was the last of my family to die. They’re all up in Heaven, waiting for me.” Hoseok began to brush your hair slower. “B-But, it’s...fine, I guess,” you added quickly. The last thing you wanted was for Hoseok to grow suspicious of you. “I just...wanted to find a type of camellia. I love flowers,” you whispered. The feeling of his breath on your neck made you embarrassed. He laughed.
“Camellia? You should have just said so,” he beamed. Suddenly, his arm wrapped around your front to reveal the red blossom you had pain-stakingly sifted through the fields for. A soft gasp escaped you as Hoseok placed the flower in your hands, then wrapping his hands around your wrists. He seemed to like having that hold on you.
“Oh, it’s beautiful! It’s just how I pictured it,” you whispered in awe. You turned in his lap to face him, doing your best to ham up the performance to give yourself the best chance of survival. “Thank you, Hoseok.” You hoped that his doe-eyed expression so close to your face would not make your own expression drain of color.
“You’re welcome, darling...I can call you that, can’t I?” He leaned in closer to your face and you squeezed the stem in your hand to force yourself not to move back.
“O-oh...I suppose so, sure…” you said coyly. Hoseok’s smile grew wider and he slowly leaned in more, further and further, until his lips were pressing a kiss to your cheek. Your hope for escaping was decreasing exponentially as he continued to fawn over you and kiss your face.
“Darling, tell me more,” he mumbled against you. “Talk to me about this afterlife in Heaven of yours. I want to know everything.”
You were sure that he was able to find out anything he wanted with just a lick of his magic, but you indulged him anyway. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s heaven, isn’t it? It’s...wonderful, actually. I missed my family for so long on Earth that it’s an indescribable feeling of being reunited once again.”
You did not lie - Hoseok would likely pick up on that before you could even pull the words from your throat, so you did your best to make your reality sound like something you held onto dearly. In truth, it was Heaven - nothing more, nothing less. Your entire family, along with every Godly person you had ever known was there to keep you company as you filled your days with...whatever it was you wanted to do. Heaven held your wildest dreams.
Going spelunking to the Eighth Circle of Hell was the most interesting thing you had done since you died, but you knew that staying was out of the question, right?
The needle of your moral compass twitched slightly.
“I...I miss them,” you mumbled sadly, playing with your fingers like a child. Hoseok remained silent and your heart picked up a beat as you couldn’t yet tell if he was seeing through you. He turned his head away from you, biting his lip.
“I see, angel...you would like to go home, wouldn’t you?” He looked to you again, reaching to cradle your face. You felt a profound force pulling you to lean in closer. Something about him felt right, and you were beginning to feel disgusted with yourself for it. His thumbs stroked underneath your eyes as he looked at you sadly. Your heart stirred unwillingly.
“I suppose I should...shouldn’t I?” You had to refrain from smacking yourself as the words tumbled out of your mouth like an avalanche. Ever since you were a young human girl, you had been warned of a demon named Hoseok and his tricks. You slept with a night-light for several years from the gruesome stories of him that lingered around your shoulders for long nights. You feared him, but a prickling feeling in your sternum somehow drew you closer. He pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“Sweet angels like you belong in Heaven. You have your afterlife and I have mine,” he sighed wistfully. You leaned forward to rest your forehead against his.
There was no explanation for this unsolicited adoration blossoming in your chest. You were never one to fall in love easily, but it felt like the walls were going to close in on you if you didn’t give in. Yes, you were fully suspicious now that Hoseok had done something to your mind to make it melt in such a way, but it felt so good that you didn’t attempt to fight it. Hoseok grinned widely, itching to use his magic but ultimately restraining himself.
You were correct from that first moment he appeared behind you - you were completely and utterly hopeless.
“Besides, who would want to stay with such an ugly, evil demon like Hoseok?” He scoffed, looking away from you pitifully. You gasped and dropped the flower so you could tenderly hold his face in your hands.
“Don’t say that!” He grinned sheepishly under your gaze. “I just...I was just saying...um,” you stumbled over your words, trying to remember why exactly you had to leave him here. Your family was waiting for you in Heaven, but they suddenly seemed so miniscule compared to Hoseok. You were torn between completely rejecting him and his demonic nature, and attempting to understand that nature and understand the soul he is. His aura had changed totally since you first felt it - you now could only feel the love he had for you. It was absurd.
“You don’t remember, baby?” Hoseok laughs and your blush deepens. “I thought you were so eager to get back home...can’t you make up your mind?” Hoseok continued to tease you, which made you feel as if you were up in flames. Your mind raced, unsure of what was happening. Hoseok was now kissing the pads of your fingers. He moved so slowly, but you felt as if time was advancing more quickly by the minute.
“My head is...foggy. I don’t know what I want,” you mumbled, grabbing his hand to place on the back of your neck. He smiles widely.
“I think you know exactly what you want.” Hoseok took one of your hands to place on his chest. You immediately started rubbing it, up and down in slow strokes. “Such a good little angel...you always have been, haven’t you? Married a good man, lived honestly as a florist...you’ve been so good…” Hoseok held your face by your chin and slipped a thumb into your mouth to run along your lower set of teeth. “Why don’t you let yourself run free for a night? Be a little bad?”
He slipped his thumb further into your mouth and you leaned forward so it would reach toward the back of your throat. Hoseok moaned at the feeling, smirking evilly. “Darling...don’t you want this?”
You closed your eyes and hollowed your cheeks, letting the pad of your tongue be pet by his thumb. He released it from your mouth with a wet pop.
The burning in your sternum spread like wildfire through you, and you knew then that you had to let yourself smolder. You had already thrown caution to the wind when you decided going to a flower field in Hell was more fun than being around the people you had already spent a mortal eternity with. Something about his aura had your head reeling and your core dripping.
Fuck it. You were already caught in Hell.
“Yes, Hoseok. I want this.”
Hoseok leaned in to place a tender kiss under your jawline and when you opened your eyes, you found yourself teleported into a King-sized bed with a thick red velvet comforter. Hoseok hovered over you, still suckling on your neck. Like a virgin, you fiddled with your hands for a moment before hesitantly placing them on his shoulders.
Hoseok chuckled lowly, pulling away to look at you and push your hair behind your ears. “You’re nervous. Don’t worry,” he murmured. He placed a kiss below your right ear and sent a quaking shiver through your spine. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Hoseok grabbed both of your hands by the wrist and held them slightly above your head against the fluffed pillows. Whatever sex dungeon he had teleported you to was perfect - the cool feeling of the velvet against your skin and the aroma of Hoseok’s devilish aura made your knees shake. Hoseok noticed this and ran his hands up and down your thighs slowly, lovingly. “You’re shivering,” he laughed. You turned your flushed face away from him. He continued to laugh at you softly before turning your face back towards him with his pointer finger. “I already told you once. If you wish to leave after this, I’ll send you back to your place in Heaven without hesitation...there’s no reason to be scared because I will do anything you ask.” He kisses you deeply on the lips. “That is how I feel for you, just after this short time together.”
His attention on you felt thick like molasses. He made you feel as though you were the center of the universe. This was wrong, and you felt it deep within you. Knowing this, you reached up to capture his lips once again and palm his cock through the dark silk of his pants.
Hoseok moaned happily and continued to kiss you again and again for what felt like forever. His tongue lapped over every crevice of your mouth at a painful pace before finally moving his hand to slowly thumb your clit. His movements were agonizingly slow - you assumed he wanted to preserve this moment before he sent you on your way home.
You let out a deep sigh into his mouth as he slowly, but harshly, stroked your clit and fingered the opening of your pussy and just a touch from your ass. He smiled over you as he watched and took in every facial expression and inhaled each breath of yours.
“Does it feel good? Please, please, tell me,” he moaned. You stared up at him in disbelief - he seemed on the edge of orgasming just from seeing you in pleasure. You had barely done anything but stroke his cock through his pants. “I need to hear you tell me it’s good.”
You smiled smally, reaching up to grab at his chin. “Yes, yes. You’re doing so good, Hoseok.” You fought back a giggle as he practically rolled his eyes back into his head at your minimal praise.
“Angel...please, let me eat you out...I promise I’ll do good, please just give me the chance…” He began rutting his hips against one of your thighs and you laughed out loud. At the sound of your laughter, he whined pitifully.
“Are you sure you’re from Hell?” You laughed as he buried his face into your stomach, embarrassed. “Just get started so you can fuck me already.”
Things quickly took a turn for the stranger as Hoseok buried his face into your pussy and made completely lewd sounds of pleasure from this. He seemed to be enjoying this more than you and it made you feel both embarrassed and hot. The feeling of control made your lips tilt up in a sick smile as his grip on your thighs tightened with each moment.
“Y-You’re doing so well,” you mumbled after several minutes of Hoseok eating you out while trying not to cum in his pants. “S-so, fuck, good.” It was an odd game that Hoseok was playing, but you followed along gleefully. At your praise, he moaned loudly into your pussy and sent a shiver of pleasure up your spine. “C-come here,” you instructed, reaching to pull his head up towards yours. He let out a pant as he dragged himself up towards you, knuckles holding himself on the bed shakily. “Will you fuck me?”
Hoseok bowed his head to place a kiss on your sternum. “Anything for you,” he whispered, almost hissing like a snake. He guided your hand to stroke his cock for a bit, all while he loudly expressed and moaned for you. Heat continued to rise in your cheeks - Hoseok was scandalous.
“S-sweetheart, fuck, we have to start before I come all over your thighs.” You both laughed and he gripped your neck possessively, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth.
The pressure of just the first stroke had you rolling your head against the satin pillows. Hoseok seemed to be handling it in a worse way, as it looked as though he could already be finished in just a quick moment. You gripped his neck and pulled him closer before whispering to him, “How do I make you feel?”
Hoseok growled for a moment, before whimpering and burying his face into your neck. “Y-you’re a princess...fuck, fuck, I fucking can’t...a queen,” he moaned.
You threw your head back again as he picked up the speed of a jackhammer. He dove into you so deeply with such vigor and passion that you had no doubts he wasn’t mortal. Nobody but him could drill into you like this.
Hoseok reached down to get a grip on one of your thighs to perch on his shoulder. You moaned unashamedly and it made his pace jolt for a moment.
He continued fucking you relentlessly, occassionally turning his head to nip at your thigh. You turned your head to bring your gaze to the mirror in the corner of the room, proudly displaying Hoseok’s muscled back and his cock slipping in and out of you. You let out a breathy laugh and Hoseok began fucking you with everything in him.
“You like seeing yourself getting fucked? You look radiant,” he growled, pounding into you so hard you were bumped by the headboard. At a loss for words, you nodded, once again reaching up to hold his neck tenderly. He smirked down at you. “Ready?”
You let out another laugh, nodding eagerly. He smiled softly, too softly for a demon, and placed on hand on your pussy and one on your breast, all while keeping his inhuman pace fucking you. Just the touch of his hand on your clit had you in tears, but his skill in rubbing it tenderly had you screaming out. At the first sight of your tears, Hoseok came inside you almost immediately. The sounds filling the room were lewd, and the feeling of his cum filling your pussy and getting all over your thighs and ass held the same sentiment. Ever so slowly, he stopped pumping and delicately brought your leg to rest on the stained velvet. He kissed your lips slowly and lovingly for several minutes before wrapping you in his arms and just holding you close.
“You are perfect,” he spoke softly after the long silence. You drowsily looked up at him for a second before looking away shyly. “Tell me what makes you happy, and I will give it to you.” Another slow kiss to your lips. “Anything you’d like.”
You kissed back with hesitance, now eager to make your way back home after being held and kissed by him for nearly an hour of cuddling.
“I’m happy with the camellia.” You smiled and pressed a kiss to his jawline before rising slowly, looking around the room for a door.
Hoseok chuckled darkly, rising as well and holding your waist to bring you onto his lap. You protested, flushing deeply when he still planted your bare pussy onto his legs and let his remaining cum from inside you flow out back onto him.
“That’s not what I meant, darling.” He brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear and admired you closely. You looked away, twiddling your thumbs. “What is it that you would like in our living quarters? Would you like the flower shop from your mortal life, or perhaps the home you raised your children in? I could conjure another garden at the drop of a hat, sweetheart...anything you would like.”
His stare on you intensified as he spoke. Your heart rate picked up once he said “living quarters,” and you begged it to slow so he wouldn’t notice.
“O-oh,” you stuttered after a long moment. He kept running his fingers through your hair and it sent chills down your naked spine. “I’ve got everything I need at home...don’t you think it’s time I get going?”
You looked at him coyly, hoping he would keep his promise of sending you home afterwards. He laughed breathily and kept a large hand cradling the back of your head.
“You didn’t think I would actually let you go, baby?” Hoseok laughed out loud, throwing his head back. He pressed an urgent kiss to your lips. You did not return it. “You’re mine, even if you didn’t have my cum dripping down your legs. You were mine the second you set foot in my garden.”
You looked to him carefully and let out a nervous chuckle. The temperature in the room began to rise, though you stayed still on his lap. Hoseok’s smile deepened.
“I have to go home,” you whispered after another long silence. At this point, you were dripping sweat while Hoseok remained unbothered. “You said you would take me home.”
Somewhere inside of you had clearly known all along that making a deal with Hoseok had no way of ending well. You knew he would torture you and eat your heart for breakfast because Hoseok was a demon and that’s what demons did, and especially ones of his calibre - yet, you stayed. You knew he would end you, and you stayed.
“Darling...you’re so sweet.” He leaned in to whisper into your ear, “and stupid.”
In the blink of an eye, Hoseok had transported you to the desk chair in his office. He had dressed himself in a fine suit and yourself in a ruffled dress so white it hurt your eyes. You noticed now that his office was also decorated in that heavy red velvet. It made your stomach churn.
“If you really would like to go home, the door to my garden is here. I told you already.” He rested his hand on the doorknob and looked to you with heavy eyes. “I love you.”
You held back a scoff, knowing that he wasn’t asking, but demanding you to go past the door. For some reason, his last confession of love was more bone-chilling than the others. He opened the door for you and towered over you as you cautiously took the first step onto the soft bed of grass below.
A feeling not unlike what you felt when you first encountered Hoseok’s aura ran up your leg and struck your entire body. Immediately, you rebounded back into Hoseok’s office and dropped to your knees as the burning made you feel as though your flesh was dripping off the bone. You cried out as you repeatedly ran your hands up and down your arms and legs, reassuring yourself that they were still there. Hoseok let out a booming laugh.
He bent to sit cross-legged on the floor with you.
“It’s not real, baby. You’re just imagining it. See?” Hoseok grabbed your wrists gently and placed your hands on his face. “Look at me. You’re safe,” he chuckled. You still had to take a moment to catch your breath.
“I have to go home,” you sighed, exasperated. Hoseok smiled again, grabbing hold of your wrist again to caress it tenderly.
“Listen carefully, darling.” He pressed a soft kiss to your forearm. “I don’t want to have to say this again. You’re mine. I own you.” He intertwined your fingers. “I could rip your heart out in a second. I could feed you to my dog. Feed you to the assistant.” He ran a hand through your hair and lovingly held your trembling chin.
“I could make you vanish with the snap of my fingers...now, or later if you want to act up.” You looked down in shame and he immediately grabbed your face again to bring it to his. “Take one step outside that door and I’ll have you up in flames. I could have your head on a fucking stick, baby.” Suddenly, he cooed, wiping a tear from your eye. “You are home. You were meant to get caught in my field. I was meant to meet you, and love you. I love you. Sweetheart?”
His hand that was holding yours suddenly contracted, squeezing your bones with a sick snap and pop. Through your cries, you sobbed out, “I love you too.”
He smiled sickeningly, planting another kiss on your forehead. “Remind me your favorite flowers. We can keep them in the bedroom.”
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Ida Sommer - HPHL MC
Info subject to change as more game information is released. All of my HPHL ocs exist in the same universe
[profile template by me]
Personal
Full Name: Ida Marie Sommer
Gender: Female (cis)
Sexuality: Pansexual (closeted)
Birthday: August 20th
Birthstone: Peridot
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Age: 14 (at beginning of game)
Blood Status: Pureblood
3 Positive Traits:
- Charming
- Spiritual (nature oriented)
- Resilient
3 Negative Traits:
- Childish
- Uncommunicative
- Vain
Usual First Impression: When first meeting Ida, people often assume she is immature, ignorant, and easy to take advantage of due to her sheltered nature and cutesy appearance. This impression is highly incorrect
Location
Birthplace: Germany (exact location TBD)
Current Home: Her father's estate in one of the richest areas (Germany)
Future Home: A beautiful cottage secluded from the world, near a mountainside (Germany)
Favorite Place: A cliff overseeing the sea in Japan, close to the little shop where she got her wand
Disliked Place: Her maternal grandparents' home, simply because she doesn't enjoy their company
Appearance
[image created using the Live Portrait Maker app]
Face Shape: Roundish jaw, soft features with a strong brow bone
Eye Color: Yellowish green
Hair Color: Light blonde
Hair Style: Ida wears her hair down or in a single braid. Her hair is mostly straight with side bangs, and is parted in the middle
Skin Tone: Light
Freckles/Spots: A few freckles on her cheeks, more visible when she's been out in the sun
Scars: None during her schooling. After graduation, Ida marks her arms with runes only she and Sebastien can make sense of to strengthen her connection to the world around her
Piercings/Tattoos: Single earlobe piercings.
Final Height: 5'9"
Final Weight: 137lbs
Physique: Thin with long legs, slightly wider than average shoulders
Clothing Style: Ida is a rich kid, so her clothing is always of high quality material and her jewelry is noticeably unflawed. She dresses modestly until she turns seventeen, when she stops caring what her parents think. Her favorite colors to wear are pastels
Carried Items:
- her wand
- a locket with a picture of her and her parents in it - not worn, but kept in her satchel
- a silver pocket watch stuck at 11:18 pm, handed to her by the same Seer who told her where to get her wand
- a handful of candy
- extra quills for her roommate who keeps forgetting hers
- a book from the Restricted Section about Elementals, written by Elementals and charmed so no one other than an Elemental can ever figure out what it says
Magic
Wand: 12 inches of firm Ebony wood with a koi-mer hair core. A pitch black, rounded wand with a pattern of scales carved into the handle. This wand was custom made in a small, almost unknown shop in Japan after a Seer she bumped into on the street told Ida that her perfect wand would be created there. It would seem foolish to go all the way from Germany to Japan on the word of an unknown Seer, but it was Ida's turn to plan the summer trip, so she picked a place in Japan close enough to the mentioned shop
Animagus: Loon
Boggart Form: A headless figure easily recognizable as herself, crumbling away into dust. A failed attempt to merge with nature resulting in her demise
Riddikulus Form: A statue of her like the one in her parents' back garden, over glorifying her features, that has been attacked and is crumbling away. She hates that statue
Amortentia (to others): Someone smelling Ida would smell lime juice, fresh water, and static electricity
Amortentia (to her): TBD
Patronus: Ida has never been able to cast a Patronus. Not for a lack of happy enough memories, but because of her powerful soul. The Patronus can never escape her magical core
Patronus Memory: N/A
Mirror of Erised: A tree so big it grows up an entire mountainside. The tree bark is covered in swirling patterns Ida recognizes as Elemental runes. She doesn't yet know what exactly this tree is, but she feels an undeniable longing for it
Family Spells: The Sommer family has no special family spells
Inherent Magic: Elemental
- Ida has all the magic of a normal witch, but on top of that has a deep connection to the earth and the magic stemming from it, even beyond the earth into the universe. If not properly trained (or if driven to a great enough temptation), an Elemental could vaporize the entire planet, or bend it to their will. They could also leave humanity behind if they so wished and become nature itself
- Elementals are theorized to have fragments of Merlin's soul fused with their own, hence why they feel strong connections to each other and can't ever fatally harm one of their own. Most Elementals also fall in love with each other as well, and the connection is thought to be stronger than a normal human's love could ever be. These connections help ensure no Elemental gives in to whichever temptation has the strongest pull on them. Only one Elemental has ever yet gone evil, and this is how it was discovered that they cannot kill one another
- This special magic is not hereditary. In fact, no one knows what causes someone to be born an Elemental, only that there have been less and less of them in the recent centuries. There are only two known Elementals left: Ida and Sebastien
Family
Mother: Lina is a warm hearted woman who wants the best for her daughter, misguided though she might be. She often has to shout at her husband to trying to hold Ida back, or discourage Ida's dreams. She noticed Ida's growing power long before her husband did, and was the one to finally contact someone for help when Ida grew so strong and uncontrolled she couldn't stop floating
Father: Elias is a business oriented man who, though he loves his daughter, up until her reveal as an Elemental wished she was a son. He's the reason Ida was homeschooled for so long, as he didn't think a girl was worth the tuition money. He refused to believe that Ida was anything other than ordinary until a man in a high position told him otherwise
Sisters: None
Brothers: None
Pets: A screech owl named Goldig, meaning 'cute'
Other Important Family: Ida's paternal aunt, Ingrid, is one of the biggest influences in her life as a child. Ingrid is an independent witch who lives fabulously by herself with her dead husband's fortune. Ida used to yearn for a future where she wasn't tied down by a man and could do as she pleased
Family Values: The Sommer family as a whole is mainly concerned with two things: remaining pureblooded, and growing richer. Most of the Sommers are decently good people, but they have period-appropriate prejudices and are willing to leave someone behind to save themselves, metaphorically and literally
Opinion on Family: Up until entering Hogwarts, Ida really only knew her family, so she loved them and thought very highly of them. As she becomes more socialized and learns more about the world, she starts to notice her parents' many flaws and though she never stopped loving them, she does resent them for homeschooling her and ignoring the signs of her being abnormal, because she used to think she was broken when in reality she's nearly a god
Friendships
Introverted or Extroverted: Extroverted
Best Friend: Sebastien Parr - another mc of mine who is also an Elemental, and an exchange student from Beauxbatons
Worst Friend: TBD
Friend She Didn't Expect: TBD
Who She Wishes Was Her Friend: TBD
List of Casual Friends:
- Sophia Burton @gcldensnitch
- Charlotte Grant @weasleysandwheezes
- canon friends TBD
Romance
Current Crush: None
Current Partner: None
Past Partners: None
Future Partners: TBD - will likely be picked from the game's characters, but could possibly be someone else's mc
Her Type: TBD
Hogwarts
House: Slytherin
Prefect Status: No
Quidditch: Never played, but loves to watch
Clubs: None
Organizations: The fake Headmaster's Apprentices organization that she and Sebastien use to hide what they're really doing
Favorite Class: Herbology
Least Favorite Class: History of Magic
Favorite Professor: TBD
Least Favorite Professor: TBD
Timeline
Young Childhood: Ida is kept at home. She knows no children her age, and spends most of her free time roaming her father's land. No matter how far she wanders, she never seems to get lost. Ida has strange dreams where she watches the world as an outsider. After being told by a Seer that her ideal wand would be created at a small shop in Japan, Ida convinces her father to spend a month there over the summer, and her mother takes her to the shop to get her wand. Ida sneaks out one night and climbs a cliff that looks out over the ocean. In later years she can't remember whether rising up over the waters and hearing the stars call to her by name was a dream or not, but she knows the moon smiled at her.
First Year: N/A
Second Year: N/A
Third Year: Ida's uncontrolled Elemental magic reaches a breaking point, and Ida explodes her little study room as she lifts up in the air, unable to come down. Her mother sends for help: two healers, a historian, and three government officials later, Ida is brought down and informed that she will be enrolled in Hogwarts the following year. She is not informed why, though her parents are
Fourth Year: Ida enters Hogwarts with no social skills. She meets Sebastien and they're both informed of their true nature. As Ida struggles to catch up on her studies as well as train her Elemental magic, she also learns just how wonderful having friends her age is
Fifth Year: TBD
Sixth Year: Ida grows suspicious of Sebastien's "friend" Dorian. Other details TBD
Seventh Year: TBD
Post Graduation: Ida marks herself with ancient Elemental runes and her father gifts her the cottage. She spends a year and a half where almost no one hears from her, before appearing back in her friends' lives as if nothing happened, looking healthier and happier than ever
Career(s): Ida doesn't live long enough to have a career
Marriage and Children: Ida marries (TBD) from school, someone who had always had a crush on her that she eventually returned the feelings for. They spend a beautiful three years together before her end. Ida manages to give her love a son, but only after she's gone
Death: Ida sacrifices herself to stop Sebastien and Dorian from destroying the world. Ida's biggest temptation as an Elemental was always to leave her humanity behind and become nature, so she does. She traps the two men inside of a ridiculously large tree that grows out of the mountainside near her cottage. This tree forms from her body, and has a notch where her favorite necklace can be inserted to be allowed entry to the chamber Sebastien and Dorian are trapped. However, she hid the necklace in Japan, where no one will find it until a century has passed and her friends have passed away. Ida can occasionally gather her spirit into a physical form to communicate with her love and child that she left behind
Notable Facts Not Previously Mentioned
- Ida is the ancestor of my main hphm mcs, Gracie and Tessa Chiva, on their father's side
- The reason Ida is sent to Hogwarts and not Durmstrang is the fear of bad influences. No one wanted to risk her being corrupted
- Ida does feel guilty about leaving her love behind, but since she couldn't kill Sebastien and she still loved him and wanted him to be happy, this was the only way she could think of to stop him
- Her love watched her leave humanity behind. As they wept, Ida's spirit gathered to say her goodbyes, and point them to their son, who had been born from Ida's final breath at exactly 11:18 pm
- Ida thinks very highly of herself. This is both from being praised so much as a child and hearing so much about the good she can do as an Elemental
- She throws a graduation party so extravagant that it's talked about for decades after her death
- No one but her love knows what truly happened to her. All anyone else knows is that she and Sebastien disappeared at the same time
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ANONYMOUS ASKED: I was following along a thread on twitter and an anti said when Ichigo laid dead on the ground with a hole in his chest in the Lust arc, that he didn’t say “I can hear her..stand up..I will protect her” before hollowfying. They claim he instead said “I can hear..stand up..I have to protect” using no pronounce directed at Orihime, hence NOT coming back from the dead because he wants to protect her specifically but because of his instincts to protect and he would’ve done it for any of his friends. They also said that Orihime didn’t scream “help me” but instead said “help” which triggered Ichigo’s instincts to protect, making him rise from the dead, hence once again making it clear this was never about Orihime specifically but about Ichigo’s instincts responding when hearing a voice in need (and this voice could’ve been from anyone amongst his friends) and how the hollow would not allow him to die regardless. Basically the English translations are incorrect and the raw version in kanji never used pronounces during these scenes. Is this correct and how would you respond to this?
There are a couple really important factors to address in this translation and why its English counterpart would supplement with pronouns specifically referring to Orihime; first, that Ichigo’s speech is meant to be broken and fairly incoherent because it’s conveying the idea that he as a human is focused on this sole objective as he’s dying. Second, that in Japanese, there isn’t necessarily a requirement for subject pronouns to form a sentence talking about a subject (the subject in question being Orihime) —this is a particular grammar rule that has no translatable equivalent in the English language, because they’re ultimately different structures entirely. I drop this phrase a LOT on here, but again, cultural context is important. Since you also sent this ask to my friend @ichinoue, there’s been some really excellent fan feedback about the structure of Japanese language and how it differs from English —this post in particular.
Now — onto the actual question:
I think there’s definitely a possibility that Ichigo would have done this for his other friends, but only if this moment had also been preceded by Ichigo vowing to “definitely protect” or “protect without fail” those other friends. Kubo did write a scene like this, and made a pretty big deal about it, but that scene involves one specific character —not all of his friends.
This hollow transformation was written as a climax in Ichigo’s narrative arc for the Hueco Mundo saga —as the ongoing theme during this arc was about his struggle with his identity against his inner hollow as an ever-present threat. This could not be a more clear theme throughout this specific arc. There’s a lot of specific focus placed upon this struggle, his cooperation and subsequent training with the Visoreds, his lack of control despite his best efforts, and his juxtaposition of this struggle for control in his actual fights against the Arrancar and Espada. This is important to note, because in response to this, there is only one scene with one character that both:
Involves him promising to “definitely protect” or “protect without fail” a friend he cares deeply for (using the same character for “protect” that’s his namesake, no less —I’ll get into this tidbit more further down).
Functions as a foreshadowing tool, and is later double-downed upon as a foreshadowing tool by the same character as mentioned above.
When it comes down to it, the grammatical inconsistencies that come from translating between languages don’t have any particular bearing on this specific scene, because the intent was already made clear as early as Chapter 196. That’s how foreshadowing works —even if we as the reader don’t realize it’s happening until after the fact. What’s more, this is how Japanese functions as a language; it’s constructed around making sense of the context, which is why it doesn’t necessarily need subject pronouns to function or convey meaning. (Though I can understand why this goes over most Anti-IHs heads... their arguments depend almost entirely on pulling things out of context, which obviously doesn’t work.)
That said —

This scene says a lot. And even though Ichigo is speaking directly to Orihime so we understand she is the subject of what he’s saying, there’s a lot of additional meaning we can derive from this scene by reading (you guessed it) the context.
Ichigo is characterized early on by somewhat brash, irritable (though this is conditional), impolite, “punk”-like mannerisms. His speech tends to be informal (cultural context) as does his body language. However, we also know that he doesn’t say things lightly when it comes to promises and protecting others. These words carry weight, but there’s an additional sense of conviction conveyed through his respectful and formal gesture of bowing, his unwavering eye contact, and we as the readers can understand this without needing an explanation.
This is especially interesting because if IRs want to get smart about raws, then they should also already understand the additional importance placed on this scene when it comes to Ichigo’s word choice. Ichigo uses the character “護” (mamoru / ”to protect”) to convey his intentions. There are a lot of different ways to write “protect” in Japanese, many of which Ichigo uses when he makes these promises or talks about protecting others throughout the series. What makes his choice of “護” especially significant and piles on more and more contextual importance is that this is the same character for “protect” that is his namesake and the basis for his core character motivations. This is also only time throughout the entire series Ichigo specifically uses “護” to refer to protecting someone.
If the intention of this to act as a foreshadowing tool wasn’t clear enough, it is again referenced by Orihime later —just at the beginning of the fight between Ichigo and Grimmjow.
Already, we have a precedent set by Orihime’s direct involvement. This is the second scene in a pattern of foreshadowing the events of the Lust Arc.
The intent is clear; this is a theme in Ichigo’s narrative arc that involves Orihime, because it also involves the development of their relationship. Her fear of hollows, her fear of Ichigo losing himself to his hollow side, Ichigo’s struggle to expose himself to this power he relies on to win in battle while also trying not to lose himself. There’s an underlying theme of Ichigo and Orihime struggling to communicate with each other, desperately wishing to protect each other and going to whatever ends to do it, but ultimately thinking its a burden they must shoulder alone. They are both concurrently struggling with feelings of uselessness (Ichigo isn’t strong enough, Orihime can’t do anything) throughout this arc, acting as foils even if their individual journeys take different shapes. Even so, these conflicts are juxtaposed by the theme of “The Heart” (the bonds between people) that also keep appearing. They’re both frightened, they’re both feeling weak, feeling desperate, and yet still — they can understand one another.
So we have this pattern now:
Ichigo vows “Next time... I will protect you... without fail!” to Orihime with a sense of personal importance conveyed through the use of his name that is unmatched throughout the rest of the series.
Later, Orihime notes very plainly that “Whenever he uses strong words, it’s like he’s making a promise. I believe that he makes a promise to himself. I think that he expresses his words in feelings so that he will follow through.” The important takeaway being of course the forthright meaning, but also “When Ichigo says he’s going to [do something], he will [do that something] for sure.”
We all know what happens next —the character conflicts, the miscommunications, the belief that these are fights that need to be handled alone, the struggle against the powers of a hollow, the fear of exposure to that power... all culminate into The Lust Arc.
— CONTENT WARNING for canon-typical gore, blood, impalement, and body horror.
With the above established foreshadowing, we can see how it leads to this; When Ichigo says that “he will protect you without fail”, he will protect you for sure.
“To be clear, a total transformation to a hollow, is neither evil or good; it’s more like pure power .. so I made a voice of pure-hearted power that is unrelated, beyond the concept of good and evil so I screamed from a clear pure heart yet, at the same time there is some sadness and thought of Orihime in my head.”
— Masakazu Morita (Ichigo Kurosaki’s Japanese VA), on how he voiced Hollowfied!Ichigo during the Lust Arc.
“The perfectly hollowfied Ichigo ruminated over Orihime’s screams and was bound only by that objective.”
— Bleach UNMASKED
If what I outlined above wasn’t clear enough, Ichigo goes as far as to stab Ishida, his friend. It couldn’t be about anyone else. This specific theme has always very clearly been about Ichigo, Orihime, their relationship to each other, and their relationship to hollowfication as a concept.
I want to also be very clear here as well; with the established theme of Ichigo always fighting against his hollowfication, and Ichigo’s Hollow being motivated solely by self interest — it isn’t Ichigo’s Hollow responding to Orihime’s plea, it’s Ichigo’s humanity. Ichigo’s Hollow finally getting an opening to take over his host (to become The King and Ichigo, The Horse) is what revives Ichigo. But his vow to Orihime and his desire to fulfill that promise is what allowed him to cling to his humanity. The Hollow is motivated by survival instinct, not any desire to protect —that’s all Ichigo, just as it’s always been.
I think anyone who is still willfully misinterpreting this and holding Japanese language structure to English rules and conventions is seriously pathetic. Even in English, the pronouns have zero bearing on what’s being conveyed here. They can try and disprove IchiHime as much as they want as far as I’m concerned. The fact remains that at the end of the day, giving the Ichigo/Orihime relationship as much attention and dissection as they do goes to show that (a) they still perceive it as a threat and (b) there’s such a large volume of Ichigo/Orihime content to comb through to begin with —a fact they’ve vehemently denied for years.
Also like, IchiHime is canon. They’re happily married. They have a family together. Just tell them to take the fucking L. I get secondhand embarrassment from watching them rehash the same old bullshit time and again.
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I don’t even know why I keep reading anti Dany metas. I keep expecting that maybe they’ll have some reasonable argument, but they never fail to surprise me in how stupid they are, and how much they distort things. There’s this new meta that’s supposed to be some deep analysis of ADWD, and of how Dany is a bad queen. They keep harping on how Dany is bad because she thinks of “floppy ears” and because she dislikes the Meereenese. And this is such a ridiculous thing to say. This has no bearing in whether Dany is a good ruler or not. A ruler doesn’t have to like all their subjects to be a good ruler. In any government, you will always have people with different ideologies, and you are not obligated to like your political enemies. The people Dany dislikes are the Meereeense slavers. Those are the Meereenese that she hates, not the Meereenese freedmen or poor people. And again, this doesn’t make Dany “a bad ruler”. It doesn’t mean that Dany isn’t supposed to be a queen. The person also says that Dany hates Meereenese culture even when it’s not related to things that are oppressive, but this isn’t true. The culture that Dany hates is the culture of the slaver class, not of her freedmen. And again, whether Dany hates that culture or not doesn’t make her a bad ruler. She can hate the Meereenese slavers while still ruling and ruling well. Oh, and the meta also says that Dany “makes” people shave, but this isn’t true at all. The Shavepate choose to shave their heads on their own will to symbolize their alliance with the new regime, for their own personal reasons:
"My queen," growled Skahaz mo Kandaq, of the shaven head. Ghiscari hair was dense and wiry; it had long been the fashion for the men of the Slaver Cities to tease it into horns and spikes and wings. By shaving, Skahaz had put old Meereen behind him to accept the new, and his kin had done the same after his example. Others followed, though whether from fear, fashion, or ambition, Dany could not say; shavepates, they were called. Skahaz was the Shavepate … and the vilest of traitors to the Sons of the Harpy and their ilk. - Daenerys I ADWD
Daenerys doesn’t “make” people shave, or else everybody in Meereen would hve shaved, which is not the case.
Then they proceed to take many decisions of Dany that were very much reasonable, and try to distort it into something bad. Dany grants a rich woman her clothes and jewels back but not her house. And she does this because there were already freedmen living in the house. First, Dany decreed a pardon for everything that happened during the sack (which is necessary to keep peace in Meereen), so it’s not like she needed to give the woman anything. Dany was still conciliatory in giving the woman back her jewels and clothes. The woman was not homeless: she was living with her brother. But the freedwomen in her house would be homeless if Dany decided to give her house back. Dany’s decision was probably the best and most conciliatory decision she could make, but of course this anti would harp on why it’s horrible for a rich woman to lose her house. Funny how antis never worry about the freedwomen that would be homeless if Dany decided in favor of the rich woman.
Then they talk about Dany not punishing the crimes that happened during the sack, and completely ignore the fact that decreeing a pardon was necessary to keep peace in the city. If Dany had decided to punish the former slaves for rising against their masters, and to punish former slavers for their crimes against the freedmen, she would have war within Meereen, and I’m pretty sure antis would be harping about what a stupid ruler Dany is and how she is incapable of being conciliatory. But here, Dany shows herself to be conciliatory and makes a very reasonable decision that was probably the best decision she could make, and antis go talking about what a bad ruler she is.
Then Dany makes the decision that people will have to go to the temple and swear a sacred oath to get the money for their lost animals (that Drogo ate). Which is a very intelligent decision. Dany is not wrong in saying that some people will lie about Drogon burning their animais and bring burned bones to her that they burned themselves, just to get her money. In fact, Dany keeps receiving claims that Drogon burned their animals even after Drogo left the city and Dany chained her dragons:
Dany did not want to talk about the dragons. Farmers still came to her court with burned bones, complaining of missing sheep, though Drogon had not returned to the city. - Daenerys IV ADWD
So Dany is absolutely correct in saying that some people are deceiving her. Making people swear a sacred oath is smart, especially considering that the Shavepate’s suggestion was much more brutal (to whip everyone), and Dany refused his suggestion. But look at what this anti says about Dany because of this:
The pronouncement was received in sullen silence. You would think they might be happier, Dany thought. They have what they came for. Is there no way to please these people?
This quote says a lot about Daenerys. In her mind, the people should be happy because she’s willing to give them back what they lost, failing to consider how much trouble it would be for them to gather up the bones of their dead animals, bring them to Dany’s pyramid, and wait all day for just the chance to be heard by her. Dany thinks many of them lie about Drogon to try and get money or sheep, and thinks they should just be happy she’s giving them anything at all.
Like, wow. How is it such trouble to bring the bones as proof? Isn’t that what all the shepherds were already doing? And actually, this anti is incorrect, because they would not need to speak directly to Dany, they would just have to swear an oath at the temple. And the idea that Dany thinks “people should just be happy she’s giving them anything at all” is so false. This is definitely not what Dany thinks:
“No, Magnificence.” Reznak bowed. “Shall I send these rascals away, or will you want them scourged?”
Daenerys shifted on the bench. “No man should ever fear to come to me.” Some claims were false, she did not doubt, but more were genuine. Her dragons had grown too large to be content with rats and cats and dogs. The more they eat, the larger they will grow, Ser Barristan had warned her, and the larger they grow, the more they’ll eat. Drogon especially ranged far afield and could easily devour a sheep a day. “Pay them for the value of their animals,” she told Reznak, “but henceforth claimants must present themselves at the Temple of the Graces and swear a holy oath before the gods of Ghis.” – Daenerys I ADWD
I mean, what they say about Dany is a freaking lie. Dany is willing to help people, she never thinks “they should be happy I’m giving them anything at all”, what she actually thinks is “some claims were false, she did not doubt, but more were genuine”. But hey, antis lying through their teeth about Dany is nothing new. Besides, going back to the decision, how in hell is Dany unreasonable for this? This “meta” was supposed to prove that Dany is a bad ruler, but I think these decisions (the pardon, being conciliatory and not leaving freedwomen homeless, and asking people to swear an oath to avoid people cheating her) all prove that Dany is actually a very good ruler.
The anti also talks about how Dany is hypocritical for chastising a man for forgetting the name of his slave, but for also forgetting Hazzea’s name. But this is such a false equivalence. The man forgot the name of a woman who worked for him for years, showing that he never cared to even learn the name of his slaves. Dany remembered Hazzea’s name even though she only heard it once, and she never knew the girl, and only forgot Hazzea’s name when she was sick and hallucinating in the Dothraki sea. How the hell are these two things comparable? And Dany just told the man to buy a new loom for the woman, it’s not like she was whipping him through the streets, but the way antis talk, a slave being compensated for her years of service with a loom is the most heinous thing. Like, wow, Dany is so evil and such a bad ruler for this, right? *sarcasm*
Oh, they also say Dany is a bad and immature ruler because she throws fruits at Xaro. Even though Xaro is already someone she knows, and Dany doesn’t do this with anyone else. Apparently, things like this (or hanging her feet and not sitting in a queenly position) make Dany a “bad ruler”, despite the fact that this has little bearing in whether Dany is a good ruler or not (I mean, I think ending slavery and feeding her people are more important things than sitting correctly, but hey, since when Dany antis are reasonable or logical?), and in fact, Dany is usually very courteous:
In the afternoon a sculptor came, proposing to replace the head of the great bronze harpy in the Plaza of Purification with one cast in Dany’s image. She denied him with as much courtesy as she could muster. A pike of unprecedented size had been caught in the Skahazadhan, and the fisherman wished to give it to the queen. She admired the fish extravagantly, rewarded the fisherman with a purse of silver, and sent the pike to her kitchens. A coppersmith had fashioned her a suit of burnished rings to wear to war. She accepted it with fulsome thanks; it was lovely to behold, and all that burnished copper would flash prettily in the sun, though if actual battle threatened, she would sooner be clad in steel. Even a young girl who knew nothing of the ways of war knew that. – Daenerys I ADWD
They also talk about how Dany is bad for rejecting the peace, completely ignoring all the bad things that peace would bring, and how it benefited the slavers and was bad for the slaves. Oh, and apparently Dany is bad for wanting to forbid the fighting pits, saying that Dany should make regulations to stop people from being forced into the pits as if that was possible, even though the text shows us that it’s very difficult to avoid the fact that some people will indeed be forced and it’s difficult to regulate that, and that poor people would end up in this place.
They also talk about Dany’s mistake in leaving Astapor in Yunkai, ignoring the fact that this is wrong, Dany’s mistake wasn’t simply that she left, but that she left Astapor with no army, and that she left the masters in power in Yunkai. And none of these things make Dany a bad ruler in Meereen. These were mistakes that Dany did in ASOS, not in ADWD, because Dany was very inexperient and didn’t have good advisors. But Dany learns from these mistakes. Saying Dany is a bad ruler because of this makes no sense, because this happened in the past, and Dany has learned and will no longer make the same mistakes (and in fact, she doesn’t do the same mistake in ADWD, she doesn’t leave Meereen unprotected). But Dany antis expect Dany to be a good ruler from the very beginning even though she never had any experience before. They expect her to have never made any mistakes.
Finally, they talk about the wineseller’s daughter, and say that “It is one thing to torture someone you only suspect of being involved in a crime, but it is even worse to torture girls just to get at their father“, which is not what happened at all. First, we don’t know if they were girls, the text never says this. Second, the wineseller’s daughters were suspects. They were arrested with their father and were the only ones in the shop whe the poisoning happened. Dany is not “torturing people that she knows are innocent”. Like, I don’t like Dany allowing torture either, but I hate how Dany antis always distort what actually happened (usually by saying that the wineseller’s daughters were just little children that Dany knew were innocent”, which is not true), and I also hate how Dany antis use double standards and completely forget that torture is normal in this world, and even Jon Snow practices it (he does it for other reasons, but he does it). And this antis also conveniently ignores that once Dany realizes the Shavepate is forcing people to confess, she actually forbids torture (she is the only character to forbid torture).
Anyway, sorry that this post is such a mess, guys, I know it’s very badly written and disorganized. I wrote in a hurry, and mostly because this meta I just read annoyed me. But I think the post really shows how Dany antis will really do anything to distort things, and turn even the things Dany does right into bad things. The only “bad thing” here is the torture, but this is also a double standard against Dany. Anyway, is Dany a good ruler? Yes, she is.
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My 25 year old Daughter Thinks I’m a Wizard

My daughter bears a deep anger toward me. I think it is because she is convinced that I am secretly a wizard, and I am just not sharing my arcane knowledge with her. This is either because she is (a) has yet not proven herself worthy; or (b) she is a “muggle” because I married her mom out of love.
I’m not kidding. She half believes this and it's a little weird. Granted there are some weird things. I read Tarot. I have all kinds of weird plaques, statuettes and artifacts on the walls of my study. I can speak Latin so when we watch movies I can always translate the “spells” spoken which are usually some grammatically incorrect rendering of something lame like: rise evil dead “malo mortuum resurgemus”.
So she’s little, and we’re watching Harry Potter and I know what all the spells are before anybody else does. She notices this. She just assumes it's because I’m a wizard. Not that I know Latin. Now she’s twenty-five, and she wants to know WHY I have a wand hidden in my closet.
It's not a wand. It’s a walking stick I picked up in Yosemite years ago.
Heh. Poor muggle. ㋡
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