#incorrect first kill

[theshortangrylesbian]

Ben: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? 

Juliette: We're chopsticks! 

Ben: Well... that's cute! 

Ben: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? 

Calliope: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

[vantablackdraws]

*licks finger and holds it up in the air* It's May Figured I'd go ahead and unearth some of my old mer/pirate au doodles/designs from a year(?) ago since I'm still kinda busy

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[golyadkin]

you can trust them, they're super scientists

[celestial-dreamscapes]

Posts that remind me of obey me characters

This is a really dumb post lmaooo I love these sm

Solomon (featuring MC):

MC about any of them tbh:

Levi:

Mammon:

Levi and Luke:

Beel (I can see it with either Lucifer or MC):

Levi, Mammon and Beel combined:

[therighthandofvengeance]

Shoutout to Soul Hunter (S01E02) Delenn for not only cracking open a cold one with the boys and pouring one out for the homies, but doing so simultaneously

[pain-is-too-tired]

Michael: Uh, I think I got your lunch. {Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love,Lee’}

Will: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. {Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of Apollo, Please be good.’}

[benjis-house-boat]

Imagine the conversation between Nimona, Bal, and Ambro about the Director's confession after the movie end Ambro: So that was really the Director confessing? It wasn't Nimona pretending to be her? Nimona: Oh yeah, I was being YOU at the time. Ambro: Wait, what? Okay, I need to see the uncut video now Bal: No, no you don't. Just... believe me, you don't want to see it Ambro: Why?! What did you do as me Nimona!? Nimona, pulling up the uncut video: Oh come on Evil Larry! I put on an AWESOME death scene! Ambro: Evil Larry? .... Wait, DEATH?!

[theshortangrylesbian]

Elinor: Fine! Judge all you want but... 

Elinor, points at  Jack: Married a lesbian. 

Elinor, points at Juliette: Left a man at the altar. 

Elinor, points at Calliope: Fell in love with a gay vampire. 

Elinor, points at Sebastian: Ate your wife’s mother. 

Elinor, points at Margot: Is a horrible mother!

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: I would die for you.

Angel: I would die for you too.

Husk: *suddenly emotional* Please don't do that.

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Suchin: Our living situation is temporary. I’m insane you’re insane, you know what happens when two insane people live together for too long? Starts with an “m”.

Kenshi: Making out.

Suchin: That’s right murder! Wait what.

[laufeysan]

Daeron, seriously: Bring me the ice cream. *later, Daeron clutching his stomach in pain* Criston: You're lactose intolerant? Daeron: I thought if I ate it really fast, I wouldn't notice.

[soullessbullshit]

Darien: Not to be corny, but sometime I think my purpose on this world is to love people, make them laugh, be kind, and share joy. That feels like enough to me sometimes.

Skordo: I'm here to maim and kill, but your thing sounds nice too.

[le-panda-chocovore]

TojiShiu Incorrect Quotes

The Second Child Quest, part 6

Toji, arguing : So when it's about work you're okay with kidnapping and even killing kids but when Megumi's asking for a sibling suddenly it's "Bad" and "Illegal" ? You're a fucking hypocrite!

Shiu :

[ prequel - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 7 + bonus in reblogs ]

[to-the-western-wood]

edmund: caspian and i are no longer dating

caspian: ed that's a horrible way of telling people we're married

[severussnapemylove]

Bellatrix; 🎶”Will you help me hide a body?"🎶

Y/N; "Huh???"

Bellatrix; 🎶”Come on we can't delay!"🎶

Y/N; "What did you do!?!?"

Bellatrix; 🎶”No one can see him on the floor.🎶 Get him out the door.🎶 Before he can decay!"🎶

Y/N; "Why would you call me of all people?!?! Now I'm gonna go to jail, oh my Merlin!"