#incorrect ghoap quotes

[skulldetergent]

ghost, just chilling while watching TV: ...

soap, sitting on his lap and taking ghost's glasses off to get his attention: simon-

ghost, not amused: you bastard, do you want me to remove your hearing aids every time i want your attention?

[bone-trash]

Trans!Ghost (who usually bottoms) lets Trans!Soap ride his neocock to “try it out” because he has questions/is considering Phalloplasty (he isn’t he just wants to fuck that large dumb man he loves so much)

Soap: Fuuuck, yer big…

Ghost: You don’t seem to be having any trouble with it.

Soap: Says the man who takes my strap like he was born fer it, go fock yerself Simon.

[rip-cod-brainrot]

Ghost, during a mission that’s going badly: Right, lads. I think we are well and truly fucked

Soap, under his breath: I would be if you’d just give me a chance

Ghost: what

Soap: what

Gaz, frantically reloading: No. Nuh-uh. I’m not dying here. I refuse to let that be the last conversation I hear

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Ghost: Johnny I- Soap: There is no I in this relationship, LT there is just we Ghost: Alright, we have a crush on Y/N Soap: You're damn right we do!

[tanked-up]

*Ghost and Soap daily convos*

Ghost: Honestly I’m too high

Ghost: You won

Soap: Huh-

Ghost: I care about you

Ghost: and you make me fucking hard

Soap: Sir, I’ll drop to my knees right now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Price: I wish they turned off their radio

Gaz: Not me, I’m loving every second of this

[unabashedcandymaker]

Johnny: If I died- Simon, cleaning his gun: Death will not get you out of this relationship

[bluebonnetbandit]

Ghost: You wanna get married?

Soap, laying ontop of ghost: Sure, I’m free Wednesday after 10am

Ghost: I’m not free till 1, is that okay?

Soap: Totally, still works for me

Ghost: Alright, sounds good

Soap: Cool

Ghost: Cool

[stumisstability]

Soap: I would kill for ye. Ye ken that, aye?

Ghost:

Soap: I'd slaughter a million enemies to get to ye and wipe the blood off my lips to kiss ye.

Ghost: you bloody sappy bastard.

Ghost, internally: it's ok, it's just some words, you're a grown man Simon, don't let this affect you-

[eiraeths]

ghost: rock bottom isn’t a bad place to be if you’re into collecting rocks

soap: [holding an armful of rocks that ghost keeps stacking upon]

ghost: or if your partner also likes rocks

soap: they’re good improvised weapons

[brattypagansub]

*Gaz exhausted and trying to figure out what a cranky and concussed Simon wants*

Gaz: ok.. cool cool cool cool.. got it.. but when you say Soap.. do you mean *pantomimes* hand soap… dish soap.. body soap.. or your husband Soap..

Ghost: *trying very hard to not head slap the man.. points to his ring finger*

Gaz: ah… he’s on mission but I can phone him for you..

[slut4-haydenchristensen]

stranger: *gestures at soap* is this man bothering you?

ghost: yes, but he’s my husband. i signed up for this

[mactavishenjoyer]

(wedding planning)

Soap:"your dad? Duh."

Ghost:"He's dead."

Soap:"Oh my fucking god he Is literally right there. I don't care if Price and you got in a fight he's still your dad and I want him in our wedding."

Price:"I- I'm not his dad?"

Soap:

Gaz:"Bullshit."

Roach:"Biggest damn lie I've heard all month."

Soap:"Womp Womp, you're not getting out of the wedding."

[incorrect-cod-quotes]

Soap: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*  Ghost : Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?  Soap: I—  Soap: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[bone-trash]

Part 4 (I love making these)

+ a text post that could apply to any of these three lol

1 2 3

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Ghost, calling Y/N: Hey, sweetheart Y/N: Jail or hospital? Soap: How could you make such accusations when we are merely trying to greet the love of our life?! Y/N: Jail or hospital? Ghost: Do you really have such little faith in us? Y/N: Jail. Or. Hospital Soap: ...jail. AND WE LOVE YOU! Y/N: *hangs up*

[tanked-up]

Ghost: My boyfriend gives the best kisses

Gaz: Oh God he does

Ghost: What the fuck?

Soap: Ladies… Ladies, one at a time