#incorrect tanbunn

[apathetic-tortoise]

Bunn, on 2 hours of sleep: Here’s a list of suspects I’ve put together so far

Tan, concerned husband: Babe, your name’s on this list

Bunn: I don’t remember where I was last Friday night, Tan. Therefore, I have no alibi. I’ve been tailing myself for the past three days

[nubsibs]

Tan : what's your biggest fear?

Bunn : I threw a boomerang a year ago, and it never came back so I live in constant fear

[operadsaremyhappyplace]

Tan: You need to react when people cry.

Bun: I did. I rolled my eyes.

[honestlymylifesfuckedup]

Rungtiva : You shall all die

Bun : Hey, uh yeah I don't think Tan will let me die. Let me ask him first though

Bun to Tan : Tan may I-

Tan : No

Bun : He said no

[konaizumi]

Tan: You remind me of the ocean

Bun: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Tan: Because you're salty and you scare people

[incorrectbldrama]

Bun's consciousness: he's definitely very suspicious and we should stay away from him.

Bun: but have you considered this.

Bun's consciousness: ?

Bun: he's really hot 😍

[chanagun]

Bun: They were not, as the kids say, awaken

Tan: Do you mean woke?

Bun: I did mean Woke, but it’s grammatically incoherent

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tan: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (I’m sorry)

Bunn: What's that?

Tan: Remorse code

Bunn: …. I'm even angrier now

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tan: We should get married

Bunn: We've been dating for less than a month

Tan: And I think I've shown incredible restraint waiting this long

[apathetic-tortoise]

Bunn: I'm testing out my new signature, can you tell me if it's good?

Tan: Sure, here use this paper for practice

Bunn: Oh, thank y—

Bunn: *Reads paper*

Bunn: This is a marriage certificate

Tan: And what about it?

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tin: What is love?

Tol: An emotional minefield

Bunn: A neurochemical reaction

Tan: …. Baby don't hurt me

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tan: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Bunn: wHat?

Tan: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved

Bunn: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tan: *Lifting weights*

Tin: Wow… He’s so intense!

Bunn: I wonder what drives him

Tan, internally: I am going to be SO good at giving hugs

[apathetic-tortoise]

*On the phone*

Bunn: Babe, I’m breaking up-

Tan: I’m pregnant

Bunn: I meant the call

Tan: Right, sorry. I panicked

[apathetic-tortoise]

Bunn: Can you stop talking about me. Bunn this, Bunn that. In ten years you won’t remember my last name

Tan: That’s cause in 10 years you’ll have my last name

Bunn:

[apathetic-tortoise]

Tan: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden