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ohmightydevviepuu · 1 year ago

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imperfect boys. perfect ploys. (this is a song about tragedy) [1/6]

“My ‘story’ is that I left a fucked-up situation and it kind of fucked me up,” he’d said. But it was the way he’d said it, like it hadn’t broken him. Like it was just a fact. But Emma’s life was a story, too. A fucked-up situation that had kind of fucked her up. She wasn’t that kid anymore. Confidence could be learned. And maybe—maybe—she wasn’t broken, either. Not if she picked up the pieces. Not if she told herself a new story. About who she was. About what she wanted. Roots, family, friends, a sense of the familiar—these did not have to be fairy tales. "You owe it to yourself," Mary Margaret said. "Happy endings always start with hope."

S3 post-neverland canon divergence. 20k of no-curse renaissance.

read it on AO3

to @wistfulcynic and @thisonesatellite who sat with me while we daydreamed on a hilltop in cornwall on the summer-iest summer day england has ever seen. it took me eight months but i got there in the end.

thank you to @shireness-says for time and feedback and kindness to the IAS @spartanguard @optomisticgirl @idoltina @initiala @thejollyroger-writer for always giving me a cheer when i needed it (including--in B's case--occasionally getting random, context-free paragraphs dumped into her DMs)

one. 'when you leave, you just miss it'

The sun was shining.

Almost a week since they’d seen real daylight—maybe more, maybe less. No one was sure. Time, like light, did not work properly in Neverland. That’s what Hook had said, and Neal had agreed, an uneasy peace between them; Regina grumbled and Gold snickered but it had been a week or a lifetime and the sun was shining and she had slept last night, for the first time in a week.

Or a lifetime.

She heard the wind rustling around her through the open portholes. Tasted the salt on the air, sweet and slightly cool. Emma sat up and the chill danced around her skin as the sheet fell. She felt good; rested, refreshed. Free.

Her clothes were were on the floor where she’d left them. She slipped from the bunk and picked them up, one by one and hanging from her fingertips. Because time might not have been real in Neverland but everything definitely smelled like she’d been wearing it for a week. When they got back to Storybrooke she wasn’t just going to wash the clothes. She was going to burn them. Just thinking about it made the power well up inside her. It wasn’t anger or darkness or the unrelenting terror of the Dark Hollow. It was something else—warm, gentle flames that tickled.

Or maybe she just really needed a shower.

God, a shower.

She dressed quickly and found her way above deck, stumbling over a dozen dozing Lost Boys and one wide-awake former fairy. Neal and Wendy leaned up against the bulkhead, their legs sprawled out in front of them. Wendy had curled herself against Neal like she wouldn’t let him go.

Emma wrapped her arms around herself and glanced up. The sail billowed, but the Shadow cast no shadow here. Tink turned and spotted her. The way her eyes lit up made Emma’s breath catch. They were going home.

“We’re nearly there,” Tink said. “I almost can’t believe it. Where’s Hook?”

Emma shrugged. “I thought he needed to be here. Steering.” Behind them, the giant wheel turned on its own.

“Magic,” Tink said. “The ship, it has magic. Not my kind—I’ve no idea how it works.”

“And I’ll never tell.” His hair was mussed by the wind but his coat hung heavy over him. Weighing him down. The words were heavy, too, weighted with meaning—something in his eyes before he cleared his throat. Then Captain Hook inclined his head and it was gone, replaced with twinkles like tiny blue gems in his eyes. “Tinker Bell.”

“Hook.” A speculative syllable as the fairy stared intently and he blushed. Emma looked from one of them to the other until Hook’s eyes caught hers and held. He raised his eyebrow, just the one.

Emma raised hers. Both of them.

“Swan,” he said.

“Hook,” she said.

“Mom!” Henry ran across the deck, leaving Regina behind in the companionway with a genuine smile on her face. Neal’s eyes opened immediately at the sound of his son’s voice and he scrambled to his feet, catching Henry in his arms but barely slowing him before he angled back toward Emma. She nearly fell over as she absorbed the fullness of his hug. Her son’s arms around her, finally.

Six days. Not even a week. But her life had changed in less time before: The time it took to steal a car, to open a locker. Sixteen hours to give birth. Ten hours on a beanstalk.

The kiss it took to break a curse.

A week was plenty of time for her world to turn itself upside down. Again.

“The sun is fully up,” Hook said. “We’ll be arriving shortly in Storybrooke.” A fairy-tale land full of fairy-tale people encased in a magic shield that they were going to pierce with a magic boat piloted by a pirate and guided by a demon’s Shadow. Hook spoke and the ship turned on a dime, the wheel spinning, the Shadow-filled sail briefly flashing white, and there it was.

The harbor. The clock tower. The neon sign of the B&B.

“Home,” Mary Margaret whispered, coming to stand next to Emma.

David rested his hand on her arm and Emma tensed. His smile gentled and he moved, stepping back to pull Mary Margaret closer. “Together. Heroes, villains—pirates.” Pride glowed briefly in his eyes. “Just like you said.”

Heroes, villains, pirates. Parents.

Storybrooke.

Home.

The rest of the fairy-tale folk rushed to the rails, hanging over the sides for a closer look at their heroes’ welcome. A faint sound carried on the breeze—laughter. Cheers.

They were in the water. They were in the harbor. The gangplank lowered. Henry was practically trembling with excitement as he hurled himself onto the dock, zooming between his father and his grandparents and Granny and—and—and—

But it was Neal Emma was watching. Hugging his father. Hugging Belle. Escorting Wendy. No longer a Lost Boy but a found one.

“Home. The place that when you leave, you just miss it.” He’d told her that the night they’d met. Her lifetime had been a series of moves from place to place to place and every time, she’d only known one thing for certain: She wasn’t home. Not yet. She’d been seventeen and Neal Cassidy had kneeled in the dirt and picked the lock and when he turned the amusement park lights on and smiled at her, knowing and full of confidence, her entire world had shifted on its axis.

“My ‘story’ is that I left a fucked-up situation and it kind of fucked me up,” he’d said. But it was the way he’d said it, like it hadn’t broken him. Like it was just a fact. Or maybe it was a secret he was sharing. With her.

Home. Neal wrapped Wendy and her brothers in a group hug with an expression Emma had never seen before. But Emma’s life was a story, too. A fucked-up situation that had kind of fucked her up. She wasn’t that kid anymore. Confidence could be learned. And maybe—maybe—she wasn’t broken, either.

Not if she picked up the pieces. Not if she told herself a new story. About who she was. About what she wanted. Roots, family, friends, a sense of the familiar—these did not have to be fairy tales. The flame warmed inside her again, as if the idea of wanting—of knowing what she wanted—was its own kind of magic. Maybe it was.

Possibilities. Hope.

In her. In the magic. In this town. It wasn’t a home—yet—but for the first time Emma felt like it could be. If she let it. If she wanted it. If she chose it.

Henry turned back to her, waiting. An impatient gesture. She took one last long look around the decks of the ship. Hook stood at the helm, tracing the scratch marks in the wood.

Home.

With a deep breath, Emma stepped onto the dock.

two. 'i quite fancy you'

The realization hit at approximately the same time Emma Swan hit the water, the waves enveloping her and dragging her down, though he didn’t think about it. Not then. Not in the midst of the magically-intensified storm and the maelstrom wrought by his own frustrations: Baelfire’s death, his son missing, the Dark One on his ship and Prince-bloody-Charming up in arms and in Killian’s face, so certain it was he who was the captain here—an uncomfortable thought all on its own, and similarly ignored.

But then she’d hit the water and it was all hands on deck.

Nothing else mattered as they retrieved her from the deep and lowered her to the deck and waited. Waited for her to breathe, to move, to cough out the water, her body wracked by the effort but alive. The storm vanished as quickly as it appeared but the weight lingered.

Killian did not like to think about the last time he had seen a woman laid out before him on his ship. About how it had ended. So he ignored it. Ignored it with the patience and practice of a man accustomed to counting time in centuries rather than minutes and it was easy enough. In Neverland the only thing real was the here and the now; their horrific, indeterminate trek across the island was more than enough to occupy his mind.

Until it wasn’t.

He set himself up a good bit away from the others as they made their camp. He refused to watch the undisturbed slumber of the Charmings. Even Regina slept, but not Killian. Never Killian, never on Neverland. Whether it was better or worse to be alone and surrounded by the haunted cries of the Lost, Killian did not know. He’d thought and hoped never to hear them again no matter how unnaturally prolonged his life might be. But he knew this—it was too easy for Pan to grab on to a person in the netherworld of Neverland at night and it was darker now than Killian remembered it being, unless it was just the effect of the rum.

He almost wished it was.

Either way, there wasn’t enough of the bloody stuff to soothe the ragged edges of his soul.

He’d said it as a joke. Or a feint. An instinctive push in their ongoing tug-of-war. “I quite fancy you sometimes,” he’d said. But here in the dark surrounded by the cries he had no choice but to admit to himself that he’d meant it.

Horrific thought.

Idly, he wondered if Tinker Bell was still here. Their tactics for sleep--and mutual exhaustion--had always proved more then satisfactory in the past. Pleasurable, even; some of the only good memories Killian had of this place. Only that felt somehow…disloyal. A betrayal to an idea that his heart was apparently already committed to. Killian took another pull from the flask and reminded himself that villains didn’t get happy endings and if Captain Hook had been anything in his life, it was that.

After all, if he had been a better man, perhaps Baelfire wouldn’t have left.

It was with that happy thought that the cacophony of cries reached its crescendo—midnight, then, or near enough on this cursed island where the night felt endless. Perhaps it was endless, now. The days seemed shorter—nonexistent—the darkness constant. The island was changing.�� Dying. Killian knew only too well there was nothing Pan would not do to prevent that happening. Every instinct told him that Henry was the answer Pan sought.

Killian had not been lying when he told Emma that on this island, he was not the villain. Perhaps that was why he waited. Waited to hear the whisper of movement and the moment she finally gave up. When she finally got up. He had never wondered if she might hear the cries. It had been very nearly his first thought upon meeting her. She’d had the Look and few knew it better than he. Maybe Baelfire—Neal—had recognized it, too.

He could hear the muttered imprecations under her breath and was only gratified that she had sense enough to take the cutlass with her as she began to roam the surroundings of their camp. And then he heard something else.

Not words. A voice. A voice that taunted him still, lurking on the edges of his nightmares. Even worse, he knew what it meant. To be approached by Pan was to have a quest assigned, a task given. When Emma stumbled out of the woods clutching a scrap of parchment, he stood to meet her, already on alert.

Pan always did like his games.

three. 'you owe it to yourself'

The shower felt incredible. One after Granny’s; one before bed; one when she woke up. Part of her felt like she might never not be covered in dirt and sweat again. Part of her just wanted the warmth and the solitude. Even in a loft built for one and sleeping four, the shower was a one-person-at-a-time activity.

She hoped.

Exhausted but too restless to sleep, Emma had lain in her bed and stared at the exposed beams, counting the wood scratches and feeling it every time someone in the apartment breathed. Henry’s little snores made her smile with every exhalation and though here Mary Margaret and David were only—breathing—it was hard not to think about the other things they could be doing in the bed they shared at the bottom of the ladder.

Ew.

Emma really needed to get her own place.

Henry would want to go back to spending nights at Regina’s again, anyway. As he should. She was his mother.

Emma couldn’t help but think of Regina at the Tree. Regina with ‘no regrets’. She wasn’t sure if she believed any of it, but she couldn’t argue with the result—all of them, still standing, at the end of something horrible. Even if Emma thought Regina should have a few regrets—surely some of the murders had been unwarranted—maybe it was time to follow Regina’s example. Leave the past behind and focus on what she had.

What would it be like, to live with no regrets?

A new beginning.

A steam cloud followed her as she opened the frosted glass sliding door and followed the sweet smell of coffee to the kitchen island—a little pot, in an honest-to-goodness tea cozy, left in the blessedly quiet loft. Mary Margaret hadn’t done that in—she hadn’t done that since—

Before.

The texts had accumulated on her phone while she showered. She recognized most, but not all, of the phone numbers—David, Mary Margaret, Henry, Ruby—and remembered suddenly that she didn’t know which one might be Neal’s. Being presumed dead made that easy enough to excuse.

She was glad he wasn’t dead.

Emma sighed. Maybe it would have been easier if she’d set a time, or maybe it just would have been funnier: An hour to process Felix into the cells. Another at the pawnshop to watch Pan sealed beneath the floor—a tiny box to hold so many nightmares, but both of her parents standing next to her in spite of the dreamshade. Henry flanked by his mothers, his father, three of his grandparents.

Of course Neal had approached her—exactly down to the minute on the timer she had not set—cornering her at Granny’s. The beer was flowing, the food was hot, the noise was crushing her skull. Tick, tock.

“Emma, can we make some time to talk?”

She hadn’t even gotten her coat off, and it was weird to suddenly need it again after six days and a lifetime sweating in an otherworldly jungle. She saw Hook at the bar with Tink, a glass mug of amber liquid in each of their hands as they toasted. Mary Margaret and David pushed in behind and around her to head for a table. Regina and Henry were tucked in together at a booth.

Tick, tock.

She forced her attention back to Neal. “Isn’t that what we’re doing right now?” she said. “Unless—are you trying to ask me on a date?”

Yes.

Yes, he was and yes, she would make time—because they needed to know what would happen. Emma had a few ideas and as Mary Margaret always said happy endings start with hope. It was the look on Mary Margaret’s face as Neal settled himself back into his booth that had her worried. The big eyes, the bright smile. It was a look she wasn’t totally used to seeing on her friend’s face because it was such a Snow White look.

“You owe it to yourself,” Mary Margaret had said.

Tick, tock.

A motherly look. She wasn’t used to that yet, either. Six days or a lifetime hadn’t quite given her enough time to digest the shift from best friend to parent and almost every minute since the curse had broken had been one unrelenting nightmare after another. Ogres, giants, beanstalks. Cora. Hook. Neal. It didn’t help that even while Mary Margaret was urging her to take the chance—“You owe it to yourself”—Emma kept thinking about the chances Mary Margaret and David wanted to take.

Tick, tock.

They were home now, the three of them—four—five—six—or maybe eight—one big modern fairytale family—and that mattered, even if Mary Margaret had looked her in the eyes and promised that she wouldn’t be an orphan anymore and then decided that she would stay in Neverland forever if she had to. The thin leather strap of the waterskin crossed over David’s shoulder didn’t feel like much against that, but it was everything.

The water. From Hook. And every time she’d turned Emma had seen Hook watching, his eyes tightening slightly every time David moved. Like he was waiting for something. Tick, tock.

Shaking herself, Emma finished her cup of coffee and hauled herself back up the ladder. The curling iron felt comfortable in her hand; it was a relief to look in the mirror and see someone she recognized, from Before. Her blue leather jacket because it was warmer, her favorite tank top layered underneath, and she was going to go to Granny’s and have a goddamn normal day. Whatever that meant now—now that it wasn’t Before, but After. After the curse. After the Enchanted Forest. After Neverland.

After—everything.

She wasn’t a tiny princess under a mobile of glass unicorns; none of them knew what to do with a goddamn adult with a past. A history, a trauma, that was not part of their storybook fantasy, and more than a missed opportunity that they could recreate.

She refused to just be that. She was a mother, too. A sheriff. A Savior.

An orphan.

If what they had was unique, to use Mary Margaret’s words from the Echo Cave, then they had to be able to make their own definitions. Their own rules and wants and needs and hopes. Their own story. And what Emma wanted, more than anything, was to carve out her own space in this world—parents, children, magic, exes, and evil queens—and know that it was hers. That she belonged. Emma wanted to know that when Henry came for her he wasn’t just looking for her to break a curse. He was bringing her home.

How did Snow White, of all people, not understand that?

She glanced at her phone, at the time and at the last text message. Pulled on her shitkicker black boots and closed the door behind her.

She had a date to get to.

#cs fic #canon divergence #season 3a #no curse renaissance

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ckkapell · 2 days ago

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Vikten av Professionell Mattrengöring och Förståelse av Mattrengöringspriser

Mattor är en viktig del av varje hem och kontor. De ger inte bara värme och komfort utan tillför också stil till ditt utrymme. Men med tiden samlar mattor damm, smuts, allergener och fläckar som får dem att se slitna ut. Regelbunden rengöring är avgörande för att behålla mattans utseende och säkerställa en hälsosam inomhusmiljö.

Varför professionell mattrengöring är viktigt

Mattrengöring handlar om mer än bara utseende. Regelbunden rengöring förbättrar inte bara mattans utseende utan bidrar också till ett hälsosammare hem. Mattor fungerar som ett filter för damm, smuts och allergener genom att fånga dem i fibrerna. Med tiden kan dessa partiklar byggas upp och påverka inomhusluftens kvalitet, vilket kan leda till allergier eller andningsproblem.

Professionella mattrengöringstjänster använder avancerade tekniker och utrustning för att ta bort smuts och allergener som vanlig dammsugning inte når. Dessutom kan professionella rengörare ta itu med envisa fläckar från spill, husdjur eller hög gångtrafik med specialiserade fläckborttagningsmedel och djuprengöringsmetoder.

Vad påverkar priset på mattrengöring?

En av de vanligaste frågorna vid anlitande av professionell mattrengöring är: "Vad kostar det?" Priset kan variera betydligt beroende på flera faktorer:

Storleken på området som ska rengöras

En av de främsta faktorerna som påverkar priset är storleken på området. Större mattor eller flera rum kostar naturligtvis mer att rengöra på grund av ökad arbetsinsats och rengöringsmaterial.

Typ av matta

Mattans material och skick spelar också roll för priset. Ömtåliga mattor som ull kräver specialiserade rengöringsmetoder och produkter, vilket kan höja priset. Syntetiska mattor kan däremot kosta mindre att rengöra.

Rengöringsmetod

Det finns olika rengöringsmetoder som ångrengöring, kemtvätt och shamponering, var och en med sina kostnader. Ångrengöring, en av de mest effektiva metoderna för djuprengöring, kan ha ett högre pris på grund av utrustningen och tiden som krävs.

Fläckborttagning

Om din matta har envisa fläckar eller mycket smuts kan företaget ta extra betalt för fläckborttagning. Detta kräver ytterligare ansträngning och kan innebära användning av specialbehandlingar.

Plats

Var du bor kan också påverka kostnaden. I storstäder eller områden med hög efterfrågan kan priset vara högre än i mindre städer eller på landsbygden.

Gör-det-själv vs. Professionell mattrengöring

Även om det kan vara lockande att rengöra mattan själv erbjuder professionell rengöring flera fördelar. Hemmagjorda metoder misslyckas ofta med att ta bort djup smuts och fläckar, och användning av fel produkter kan skada mattfibrerna. Proffsen har rätt verktyg, erfarenhet och kunskap för att rengöra dina mattor effektivt och säkert.

Medan den initiala kostnaden kan verka hög, överväger de långsiktiga fördelarna med att bibehålla mattans kvalitet och förlänga dess livslängd kostnaden.

Slutsats

När det gäller mattrengöring säkerställer anlitande av en professionell tjänst att dina mattor är grundligt rengjorda, vilket förlänger deras livslängd och förbättrar inomhusluftens kvalitet. Priset kan variera beroende på faktorer som storlek, material och rengöringsmetod.

För pålitlig och prisvärd mattrengöring i ditt område, besök oss på Ckkapell.se för att lära dig mer om tjänsterna vi erbjuder och få ett personligt prisförslag anpassat efter dina behov.

För mer information:-

mattvätt göteborg

mattvätt

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accessible-tumbling · 10 months ago

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Image descriptions of screen-grabbed posts in order:

ID 1: Tumblr post by phoneticmeow: I love when my boyfriend showers at my house cause I get to lean against the door and hear him quietly scream

Reblog by phoneticmeow: NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HES A METAL VOCALIST HE PRACTICES IN THW SHOWER I DO NOT TORTURE MY BOYFRIEND

ID 2: initiala: Killed ANOTHER FREAKING CANADIAN SOLDIER. How do they keep getting into my house?! Stop!!

Reblog by initiala: It occurs to me that people might not know that this is another name for a mayfly. I am not being infiltrated by humans from Canada.

ID 3: Discord messages, which say:

guilty ghoul: move to nyc. eat balls all day

guilty ghoul: BAGELS (not sent)

real krispies:🤨

real krispies: ?

guilty ghoul: BAGELS.

guilty ghoul: DISCORD ISN'T SENDING MY MESSAGES HELP

{doey ! and real krispies are typing...}

ID 4: Tumblr post:

kratt09: people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

Reblog by kratt09: thats not the word I meant to use

ID 5: A Reddit post on r/Montessori titled "How to put a baby down". The first line of the post says "Edit: I MEANT HOW TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP 🙈"

ID 6: Tumblr anonymous ask: being mailed is enrichment for us girls

predstrogen answered: good girls get USPS and bad girls get fedex to dump them in a ditch

predstrogen reblogs with a screenshot of another anonymous ask, which says "MAULED fuck"

Below, predstrogen says:

GET IN THE ENVELOPE.

ID 7: Tumblr post by dishsaop which says: the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth

dishsaop reblogs with a screenshot of discord massages, which say:

Unknown: Saf

Unknown: was that a comedic mixup of sisyphus and syphilis

dishesoap: what

dishesoap: wait

/End of discord conversation

The tumblr post beneath the messages says, in all capitals: SISYPHUS. FUCKING AUTOCORRECT.

ID 8: Tumblr post by dartagnanromance in large text:

fuck algebra i don't need it just give me a dead body and i'll figure it out from there

Reblog by dartagnanromance:

i feel i should clarify i am a mortuary science major

ID 9: tumblr post by cuuno-moved: “sonic the lesbian is a hedgehog”

cuuno-moved: “wait i fucked it up.”

cuuno-moved: “guys stop reblogging this.”

ID 10: tumblr post by infectiouspiss: “they should invent joints that don't hurt”

infectiouspiss: {Attached is a screenshot of two comments by pissditchingz which say: how tf are you smoking them that it hurts

Oh shit do you mean like bones}

ID 11: Anonymous ask: so, like, what do you think about chihuahuas???

actuallycuteanimals answered: They are a lovely and very underrated fish

actuallycuteanimals, in toggle case: wAIT

DOG.

I MEANT DOG

ID 12: tumblr post by conzoop: roommate reminded me how good Hole is

conzoop:

the band the band the band the grunge band with frontwoman Courtney Love the BAND THE BAND THE BANDTHE BAND THE BAND TH

ID 13: tumblr post by toskarin: the oedipal task of doing the dishes

toskarin: SISYPHEQN SISYPHEAN

ID 14: A screenshot of a tiktok. The top half is a worm's eye photo of the sky with trees framing the edges, and the text "quote "I'm gonna be a vegetarian when i grow up!" Unquote".

The bottom half is a photo of a cemetery in the day, with the text "*works at a cemetery*"

Beneath the tiktok is a screenshot of the creator's comment, which says "GUYS I MENT VETERINARIAN, THE SUN WAS ON MY PHONE SO I COULD BARELY SEE 😭😭😭#autocorrect

ID 15: A tumblr post with a photo of a squeeze tube of yogurt. Text on the side of the yogurt tube says "DING DONG, TEXAS IS A REAL PLACE. LOOK IT UP!"

Beneath the image, the OP says: So uuuuhhhh...got my daughter a yogurt this morning and learned something new.

Reblog by issamomma: Guys I just realized they meant there's a city in Texas called Ding Dong. I thought the people at GoGurt were really like, "DING DONG! WAKE UP SHEEPLE. BIG GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. TEXAS IS REAL. LOOK IT UP. GET THIS TO THE PEOPLE." Like some big exec at Yoplait is ready to lose his life over exposing a national secret through the medium of childrens' yogurt snack tubes.

ID 16: An anonymous ask: You won't believe your eyes, Ten thousand naked guys

girlfoxcock answered: that means... twenty thousand cocks...

Reblog by girlfoxcock: I made a miscalculation.

ID 17: tumblr post by anarcho-skamunist: “quacking in my boobs over this”

anarcho-skamunist: “QUAKING”

anarcho-skamunist: “BOOTS. FUCKER”

ID 18: emeraldwhale: Fermenting in a butch honoring way

Reblog by emeraldwhale: I MEANT FEMME NOT FERMENTING

Reblog by emeraldwhale: @ dramaticromantic

{Attached is a screenshot of a comment by dramaticromantic which says: Call that kombutcha}

STOP BEING FUNNIER THAN ME ON MY OWN POST

ID 19: A tumblr post of a screenshot of a live tweet by @/AP "The Associated Press" (golden verification), which says "Michelle Yeoh and Angela Bassett locked in a long embrace, their bare, muscle-bound arms wrapped around each other."

The tumblr poster says: I am sitting and listening

homoqueerjewhobbit reblogs saying: Gotta include the follow-up: {a tweet by The Associated Press, which says: The AP has deleted a previous tweet about the Oscars after party because it contained awkward wording and lacked context.}

ID 20: tumblr post by doubleca5t: my gf just said "I'm drawing rainbow dash" and then after a long pause, "NOT sexily!!!"

ID 21: tumblr post by yellowsuggestion: My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought

A comment by yellowsuggestion which says in all capitals: YALL IM IN THE PASSENGER SEAT

ID 22: tumblr post by jasontoddsguns: Ryan Reynolds milking Hugh Jackman for all he's worth will never not be funny.

jasontoddsguns: ITS AN EXPRESSION, ITS A FUCKING EXPRESSION

ID 23: tumblr post by c3rvida3: Doctor said I only have to do four hours of therapy a week instead of seven. I am the pina colada of mental health.

c3rvida3: I meant to say "pinnacle", not "pina colada". The telephone is a cruel mistress. I am so healthy, still.

ID 24: A tweet by @/ryvnlovve "Ryan Lowe" which says "Anne Hathaway for Elle France, June 2022"

@/hotpriestt "Girl with no problems" replies, "every tweet about anne hathaway going viral like police didn't find human remains and evidence of cannibalism in her LA home that she sold in 2013😭"

hotpriestt later tweets, "hey guys forgot to take my prozac yesterday and one of the withdrawal symptoms is hallucinations so yea"

hotpriestt tweets again, "apparently hallucinations aren't part of withdrawing wow im never buying prozac off facebook marketplace again".

ID 25: 0111010001110010011000010111000 asked: what if we both shot out our autism beams to destroy the city from opposing ends 🤔 and they accidentally clashed 😳 !!

girlballs answered: whoa I'd feel bad for everyone caught in the splash radius

girlballs: blast radius. i meant blast radius

ID 26: solarsyrup: one of my favorite story elements is "character way past their prime can still absolutely wreck you, leaving you to wonder just how powerful they used to be"

sdwolfpup: {A screenshot of a tag which says #OH YOU MEANT IN A FIGHT}

ID 27: piromantic: *travels to the other side of the country* whoa i've never seen these biomes bef

post cancelled i forgot biome was a real term and not just a minecraft word

ID 28: A tweet by @/CraigEvil "funkle" which says "I had an insane dream last night where i shot some guy in the chest in broad daylight and the coroner came and measured his penis at the crime scene and the cops let me go because it was less than 4 inches"

A tumblr reblog by mevil which is a screenshot of two tweets by "throwing absolute haymakers tow..." which say, "we get no rights"

"i mean they get no rights".

End description

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

#humor #tumblr #discord #twitter #long post

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fashiowinnalways · 1 month ago

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Miere albine 7 Beneficii pentru sanatate

Produsul apicol obtinut prin prelucrarea nectarului de catre albine se numeste miere. Mierea de albine este primul indulcitor folosit de om. Aceasta este folosita ca indulcitor in diferite preparate cum ar fi: cafea, ceai, prajituri diverse, bauturi racritoare, bauturi alcoolice si altele. Mierea de albine a fost folosita de oameni pentru a indulci diferite preparate dar si ca medicament sau in ritualuri si ceremonii. Era recomandata de Hipocrate pentru diferite boli gastrointestinale, respiratorii, renale cat si pentru tratamentul ranilor.

Tipuri de miere albine

Dupa provenienta: - din flori – aceasta provine din prelucrarea nectarului si polenului cules de albine din flori; - de mana – aceasta provine de la alte parti ale plantei (nu din flori), poate fi de origine vegetala sau animala. Dupa speciile de plante de la care albinele au adunat nectarul este miere: - poliflora – provenita din nectarul mai multor specii de plante; - monoflora – provenita integral sau in cea mai mare parte de la o singura specie de floare: - salcam; - tei; - menta; - rapita; - floarea soarelui. Dupa modul de obtinere mierea este: - In faguri; - Scursa liber din faguri; - Extrasa cu ajutorul centrifugarii; - Obtinuta prin presarea fagurilor; - Topita – se incalzesc fagurii. Dupa consistenta poate fi: - Lichida; - Cristalizata – zaharisita. Dupa culoare poate fi: - Incolora; - Galben – deschis; - Auriu; - Verzui; - Bruna; - Roscata. Dupa aroma - mierea de albine se identifica dupa miros si degustare, indicandu-se planta din care provine. Mierea de albine in Romania se poate clasifica si dupa puterea calorica, puritate si compozitia chimica.

Proprietati miere de albine

Este un produs dulce si parfumat, semifluid, vascos sau cristalizat si cu o culoare specifica. Are un continut mare de zaharuri si diferite substante precum: minerale, acizi organici, enzime si vitamine. Mierea de albine poate avea o culoare de la galben deschis la negru. Daca este stransa primavara are o culoare galben aprins pana la portocaliu, in timp isi pierde culoarea initiala si se inchide la culoare. Atunci cand va incepe sa se cristalizeze se va deschide la culoare.

Cum producem mierea de albine

Mierea este produsa printr-u proces complex de transformare a materiei prime de la recoltare si pana la obtinerea produsului finit. Mierea de albine este compusa din trei elemente esentiale: - Apa; - Substante zaharoase - glucide; - Substante nezaharoase. Saruri minerale si vitamine pe care le gasim in mierea de albine Saruri minerale: - Sodiu; - Potasiu; - Fosfor; - Magneziu; - Cupru; - Aluminiu; - Mangan; - Fier; - Clor; - Sulf; - Siliciu; - Altele. Vitamine: - Tiamina - Vitamina B1; - Riboflavina - Vitamina B2; - Acid pantotenic - Vitamina B2; - Piridoxina - Vitamina B6; - Acid folic - Vitamina B9; - Cianocobalamina - Vitamina B12; - Acid ascorbic - Vitamina C; - Biotina - Vitamina H; - Vitamina K; - Niacina - Vitamina PP; - Vitamina A.

Mierea de albine – utilizare

In Romania este considerata un aliment complex cu valoare nutritiva mare, utilizata in terapii si diete. Aceasta este folosita in bucatarie sau ca medicament.

Miere de albine 7 beneficii pentru sanatate

Ca urmare a studiilor efectuate s-a demonstrat ca are calitati nutritive si poate fi utilizata cu succes in mai multe tipuri de afectiuni. - Afectiuni cardiovasculare; - Aparat urinar; - Afectiuni respiratorii; - Sistem nervos; - Afectiuni hepatobiliare; - Boli de nutritie si cele infectioase; - Afectiuni sanguine si cutanate.

Utilizare acestui produs natural in cosmetica

Mierea este un ingredient minunat în produsele cosmetice datorită numeroaselor sale beneficii pentru piele și păr. Iată câteva dintre acestea: - Hidratare profundă: Mierea are proprietăți umectante naturale, care ajută la reținerea umidității în piele, hidratând-o în profunzime și conferindu-i un aspect catifelat și neted. - Antioxidant puternic: Mierea conține antioxidanți care ajută la combaterea radicalilor liberi și la protejarea pielii împotriva deteriorării cauzate de factorii de mediu, precum poluarea și expunerea la soare. - Proprietăți antibacteriene și antiinflamatorii: Mierea are efecte antibacteriene și antiinflamatorii, ceea ce o face potrivită pentru tratarea acneei și a altor probleme ale pielii, reducând inflamația și promovând vindecarea. - Exfoliere delicată: Mierea conține enzime naturale care ajută la îndepărtarea celulelor moarte ale pielii și la curățarea porilor, fără a irita sau a usca pielea, oferind un ten luminos și revitalizat. - Tratament pentru păr și scalp: Mierea hrănește și fortifică firul de păr, îl hidratează și îi conferă strălucire. De asemenea, poate ajuta la tratarea mătreții și a iritațiilor scalpului. - Cicatrizant natural: Datorită proprietăților sale vindecătoare, mierea poate contribui la diminuarea cicatricilor și a petelor de pe piele, accelerând procesul de vindecare și regenerare a țesuturilor. - Îmbunătățirea texturii pielii: Prin stimularea circulației sângelui și promovarea regenerării celulare, mierea poate îmbunătăți textura și elasticitatea pielii, reducând aspectul ridurilor și al liniilor fine. Acestea sunt doar câteva dintre beneficiile mierei în cosmetica, iar utilizarea regulată a produselor cosmetice ce conțin miere poate contribui la obținerea unei pielii și a unui păr sănătoase și frumoase.

Contraindicatii miere de albine

Chiar daca este un aliment nutritiv cu multe proprietati are totusi si contraindicatii, astfel: - Alergii: Persoanele cu alergie la polen sau la alte produse apicole ar trebui să evite consumul, deoarece aceasta poate declanșa reacții alergice, inclusiv erupții cutanate, umflături sau dificultăți în respirație. - Bebe sub 1 an: Mierea poate conține spori ai bacteriei Clostridium botulinum, care pot cauza botulismul la sugari. De aceea, nu ar trebui oferită bebelușilor sub vârsta de 1 an. - Diabet: Mierea conține zaharuri naturale, iar consumul excesiv poate afecta nivelurile de zahăr din sânge, fiind contraindicată în cazul persoanelor cu diabet zaharat necontrolat. - Glicemie: Persoanele cu niveluri ridicate ale glicemiei ar trebui să consume cu moderație sau să consulte un medic înainte de a o include în dieta lor, deoarece poate afecta nivelurile de zahăr din sânge. - Supraîncălzire: Supraîncălzirea poate distruge enzimele și substanțele nutritive benefice, transformându-o într-un produs mai puțin sănătos. Este recomandat să nu supraîncălziți mierea la temperaturi ridicate. - Probleme dentare: Consumul excesiv poate contribui la carii dentare și la alte probleme dentare, deoarece zaharurile din aceasta pot afecta smalțul dinților. - Probleme digestive: În unele cazuri, consumul excesiv poate provoca disconfort gastric sau alte probleme digestive, cum ar fi diareea, la anumite persoane. - Obezitate; - Insuficienta pancreatica; - Este întotdeauna recomandat să consumi în mod moderat și să consulți un medic sau un specialist în nutriție în cazul în care ai preocupări sau condiții de sănătate specifice.

Ce Tratamente cu miere de albine poti sa faci acasa

- Măști faciale cu miere: - Amestecă produsul cu ingrediente precum iaurt, ovăz sau suc de lămâie pentru a crea o mască facială hidratantă și hrănitoare. - Tratamente pentru păr cu miere: - Folosește-o ca ingredient în măști pentru păr pentru a hidrata și hrăni firele de păr. - Poți adăuga ulei de cocos sau ulei de măsline pentru beneficii suplimentare. - Exfoliante corporale cu miere: - Amestecă-o cu zahăr sau sare pentru a crea un exfoliant natural care îndepărtează celulele moarte ale pielii și lasă pielea catifelată și strălucitoare. - Tratamente pentru buze cu miere: - Aplică pe buze pentru a le hidrata și pentru a le proteja împotriva uscăciunii și crăpăturilor. - Tratamente pentru răceli cu miere: - Consumă cu ceai cald sau cu lămâie pentru a ameliora simptomele răcelii, cum ar fi tusea și durerile în gât. - Măști pentru mâini și picioare: - Amestecă mierea cu ulei de măsline sau cu glicerină pentru a hidrata și înmuia pielea mâinilor și a picioarelor.

Cum alegi mierea naturala fara alt adaos

- Mierea cristalizata este naturala (mierea de rapita se zahariseste in cateva zile de la extractie); - Daca intorci un borcan de miere naturala se formeza o bula de aer care se misca incet si nu se sparge in mai multe bule; - Mierea naturala fara adaos se dizolva mai greu in apa. - Verifică eticheta: Citește cu atenție eticheta produsului și asigură-te că este indicată ca fiind "naturală" sau "pură". Evită mierea care conține aditivi sau îndulcitori artificiali. - Consistența și aspectul: Mierea naturală are o consistență vâscoasă și o culoare variată, în funcție de florile de la care a fost colectată. Evită produsul care are o consistență prea lichidă sau care pare prea uniformă în culoare. - Testul de cristalizare: Mierea naturală are tendința de a cristaliza în timp, formând cristale fine sau granule. Acest lucru este un semn că nu a fost prelucrată sau încălzită excesiv. - Originea: Achiziționează produse de la apicultori de încredere sau de la producători locali. Întreabă despre metodele de producție și despre sursele de nectar pentru a te asigura că este autentică și nealterată. - Testul de solubilitate: Adaugă o linguriță de miere într-un pahar cu apă caldă și amestecă. Mierea naturală se va dizolva încet și va forma un amestec omogen, în timp ce cea contrafacuta sau diluată poate să se dizolve rapid sau să lase reziduuri. - Prețul: Mierea naturală de calitate este adesea mai scumpă decât cea prelucrată sau diluată. Fii pregătit să plătești un preț mai mare pentru a te asigura că primești un produs autentic și de înaltă calitate. Produse pe baza de miere albine - recomandari Sursa: Wikipedia Read the full article

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