#instadead

[crowsintheforest]

hades 2 good. love to see supergiant returning to their roots (fucked up eye monsters on a tall tower)

[lanaevyssmoved]

HOLY SHITTT

[nostalgiaserver]

#instadead

[zartophski]

Regrettably I have no silly D&D content for your Monday/Wednesday needs this week because someone (it is me I am the problem) may have done an oops during last week's pain and suffering session, so we will simply go back in time a week

[Future commentaries will be denoted by pain and suffering campaign and complete bullshit campaign for clarity]

Go back in time a week to...

~ The instadeath bard incident ~

(This one is a long one I apologize)

A week after undead head soccer and misty stepping, here is where the party stands:

V - New PC incoming; formerly the barbarian (third dead PC from the previous week), formerly the bard (second dead PC- party killed for killing the first PC)

S - the fighter; formerly the artificer (first dead PC- killed by the bard)

D - the rogue

A - the paladin

N - the wizard

Me - the monk

So, we are introduced to V's new character. And this is where we take a left turn off a cliff, because V IS NOW PLAYING THE RESURRECTED(???) PC OF S. She is a druid now. Instead of an artificer. COOL. DEFINITELY NO MINDFUCKS THERE.

And we're wandering through the woods semi arguing about where to take the Not Hand of Vecna, which is the demonic disease AOE infesting hand of the deceased lich warlord from 600 years ago and is not the Hand of Vecna.

We run across this ghost bard in a swamp playing a sad song about his death at the hand of the evil death ray cow. He wants us to spread his final song so he can move on, and also we can loot all the shit he and his party died with when they unknowingly ran into the territory of the death ray cow.

RED ALERT: MASSIVE DM BAIT (we risked it anyway)

Actually though like we knew full well what we were doing and risking we just really did need a leg up, and we knew that I had an invisible mage hand, the rogue had a +9 to stealth, and the druid had pass without trace available, so we figured we could stealth our way through it.

The DM is rolling distraction from our ghost bard buddy, perception from the death ray cow, recharge on the death ray (3 rounds, recharge on 5 or 6), and we're rolling stealth.

Round 1 goes off in a horror show fashion that should have been our hint to fucking leave, with the rogue rolling a crit fail dirty 20 for stealth, the death ray cow rolling a 24 on perception, and the bard thankfully crit succeeding on the performance to distract the cow. The death ray fires, he's absolutely immune to necrotic damage, now we have recharge rounds.

Round 2 and 3 go off without a hitch as we collect some stuff, the rogue rolls like. base 19s on stealth, the druid and I are vibing on our checks, the cow is fucking up perception, the bard is doing well enough on distraction, We're *jamming.*

Round 4. The bard performance is okay, ish. The DM accidentally, while I'm making my turn, actually rolls a successful death ray recharge. But fairly so, dismisses the recharge because it wasn't on the turn, we're all ahead of the cow in the initiative order. AGAIN, A MASSIVE COSMIC UNIVERSE HINT TO RUN. The rogue rolls another crit fail dirty 20 on stealth. The cow's turn. The death ray recharges. The cow beats the perception roll.

ohfuck.jpg

The save for this death roll is a FUCKING DC 16 Con or take 8d8 necrotic. If you fail by 5, you take 64 necrotic flat out.

The rogue is instadead. (We are level 5 and cannot long rest without specific circumstances and DM approval, so we have constantly failing HP.) PC number 4, everyone!

It is at this point that the roll20 dice are declared homophobic once again, and then we force the DM to jail the LGBTD20 for further homophobic activity (rolling a successive string of crit successes and 19s for six rounds in a row).

LAter everyone points the target at my character as I am the only surviving PC to attend every session, and then we engage in a long discussion about if the Not Hand of Vecna should be considered ableist or not and how it would work with amputees and prosthetics. Normal post session activities, you know?

LMAO THIS IS FANTASTIC

I hope I'm right in imagining the death ray cow to just. be a normal-looking cow that shoots lasers when you look at it wrong.

rest in pieces to the rogue tho, this campaign sounds brutal. lots of death going around, 100% agree the homophobic dice are to blame here.

[god-of-identity]

This is a hilarious image. If I'm not instadead it's still not a good scene tho XD

uh oh! one of your organs has mysteriously vanished! Spin this wheel to find out which one!

[ruseriousbro]

Cant get nothing past my wife...she would put me in a jar on the shelf in a heartbeat!! #ruseriousbro #urn #cremated #deadass #wifeyproblems #wtfisthat #wtfmemes #wifeproblems #almostdead #buriedalive #buriedtreasures #instadead (at Massapequa, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYuG_PCJ4gs/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinn-bee]

I have some rough sketches of their full dragon forms that I did a bit ago and just forgot to share here, so here you go!

DragonSY!SQQ

Very tall, very long. He doesn’t use it often because SY finds it very difficult to move around, not having grown up cultivating this form. But he does think it’s very cool that he’s So Large

DragonLQG

like in his hybrid form, he’s a bit smaller but it is for the purposes of being Very Fast! His status as a war god applies in all forms because can you imagine getting rammed with those antlers at full speed? Instadead.

And size comparison ٩( ᐛ )و

Pretty….

Sketch dump of an au that’s taken over my mind ٩( 'ω' )و

SY and LQG as dragons and Binghe as the very overwhelmed by how small he suddenly is third person in their weird relationship

This is very self indulgent and pushes my Bingliushen monsterfuckers, size difference, and bottom Binghe agenda 🎉

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Did Fabian just crash the boat into the building and knock HIMSELF unconscious????

[kingdurkee]

@instagram is disappointing me more & more with every update.🤨Tf is with this “taking away likes” crap?????😂🤷🏼‍♂️ #InstaDead https://www.instagram.com/p/B46MOPsgWNwqsSmdq5eg2iuVGvKJojjn1dObpk0/?igshid=1pf8mrqbs50uv

[tetsuooooooooooo]

STARTING EP 3 lets go gamerz

this is where it turns out i have no spine bc honestly at this point im rooting for noxus like these bitches losing against arrows and shimmer??? zaun v piltover woulda been a MASSACRE gjsfgjgrbm "your people wouldnt stand a chance" u sure about that mister councilman??

CAN WE FUCKING STOP. WITH THE MAGIC GUNS AT THIS POINT. DO WE NOT HAVE NORMAL GUNS ANYMORE IM PRETTY SURE WE USED TO HAVE NORMAL GUNS. CAITLYN WERE YOU SOMEHOW STILL UNAWARE OF AMBESSAS MAGICFUCKINGUP AMULET DEFENCE SYSTEM AND IF YOU WERENT THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL USING MAGIC FUCKING GUN.

i like the bit with them wheeling in viktors egg cuz they were attaching the thingy on it and i was like oooh its not a bomb its poisons!! oh thats smart cuz its quiet and they wont rea- and then it WAS a bomb lmao

also i like big meatball boy pulling da egg. i like that they did give him some pants to not demoralize his friends on the battlefield

they did NOT do Come Play justice

"SHUT UP AND FIGHT" honestly the one cool moment that i liked at all in this whole season of marvel quips -> immediately undercut by caitlyn "instadead if not for literal plot armor" kiramann

"looks like you shouldnt have come back" .......what?

"your eyes wont lie when your mind is open" ......huh?

i feel like in old arcane jinx flying around by shooting the big gun all over the place would mean her accidentally hitting vi or ekko and then all the consequences n shit but. idk maybe not. just nitpicking i guess

this ~Chaos & Order~ thing theyre trying to get going is just total buzzword nonsense innit

ok im going again to write down my questions and see if anything makes sense this time

edit im 2 eps in this got long as FUCK kjchgxhi come talk to me!!!!! im screeching into the void!!!!!!! americans wake up look at my post!!!!!!!! say everything to me!!!!!!!!!

why are we introducing time travel alternate universes into this story

where did the other ekko go, was he in Our ekkos universe/body or just out of commission, bc that makes no sense i think, if they didnt switch then wheres the ✨symmetry✨

do you think that skye had anything to do with them figuring out the cleaning flowers thing in the AU? and is viktor dead? and jayce in jail? banished? i wonder where skye went here i hope shes living her best not in love with a gay guy life

where the FUCK was the Original-AU heimerdonger when he got bodysnatched by the Our version? they do still call him professor but in Our version he just recently got kicked out of the council so would he still be just freeloadin around zaun at that point in the AU? was he ever councilor?

can everyone on my screen Please stop hurling their guts out from timetraveldisease

if theres no hextech and no anomaly in the AU reality then how did it throw them in it in the first place

ekko is smart but if he was smarter hed stay around to research what needed to happen to make zaun work in this version and save himself time figuring it out from the groundup back home, i think

but also what the fuck COULD have possibly happened to make it so different CUZ LIKE- ok the little flashback bit with vi dying in jayces house- the gang is wearing the same clothes as in Our version, so that would probably indicate that THAT zaun was also in the same state as Our ""original"" version too? right? no? i mean i would say they did put emphasis on clag n mylos clothes being different and more piltovian or whatever idk maybe im onto nothing WAIT NO BECAUSE CLAGGOR WAS MAKING THE DAMN FLOWER TO CLEAN THE POLLUTION SO IF THATS STILL THERE THEN IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN RESOLVED THAT MUCH EARLIER HERE RIGHT

also what the fuck had to be different exactly for enforcers to bust the kids after blowing up a building and not chuck them all in stillwater this time around? did they really care that much about vi dying? was that really the inciting incident for zauns inclusion? marcus? fucking MARCUS marcus? marcus "im gonna bury the lot of you" "deals with the devil to get a 14 yearold put in jail for life"* marcus sees a zaunite girl dead (after breaking into a piltover home and wrecking it) and just goes "aw :c" ? the council of rich businessfucks like salo whod do everything they can to maintain the status quo? is One Dead Kid (still the name of my nonexistent band) really all it takes this time? am i too tough on these people am i dumb if id like some elaboration on how that whole story went or

*to be honest i. dont really get what that Deal thing with silco was about in the first place

wheres Scar aaaat show me my guyy whERES VIKAAA

how did the shimmer story end up in the AU because IF the main change here is vis death then i could believe that silco WAS still already on track with beginning the production at that point if of course singed is also in the same position as Originally

is there a universe where that hammer lands on jayjays head and ends him right there

did silco forgive vanvan before or after zaun gets their "win" in the AU? because my bet is DEFINITELY after

ALSO how the fuck in a city like piltover did they not renovate jayces blown up flat after fuck knows how many years, at LEAST 3 (id wager at least 7 but thats just me so whatever) like city of progress who?? is it just there as like a cautionary tale??? did they put up a lil plaque for jayce after he kild himself?? they just boarded that shit up tho there was nobody there?? why did they leave it like that idk

WHY did heimerdeimer die???? DID he die?? why did he DIE?????? what happens to the AU-Original hongerdonger??? you couldnt have just waited 10 minutes and have powder do allat?? she trusted us right? maybe not

why WAS bonking viktor in the head with the zdrive the answer to our problems

powder knew what she was doing with that innovators cum petition sign right

WHAT the FUCK was that mylo claggor moment like am i inSANE OR WAS THIS SUS AS HELL also (man rapping) put some FUCKING RESPECT on stromaes name

how DID rizzard viktor stop being purple actually. god i still hate that reveal im not smart but i refuse to believe that was good writing

what happened to put that rock in jayces wrist? it wasnt a process it was viktor doing it in a split second why did that need to happen? so he wouldnt lose it? hunh?

no because WHAT IS AMBESSAS FUCKING GOAL HERE IN THE END

does she want kino back? whAT DO YOU WANT WOMANNNN

did that princess girl that got her head sliced off by bessa in the first season actually have anything to do with anything in the end or not cuz im just confuzzled

how does he know that

what does that mean

how does SHE know THAT

what does THAT mean

does loris have the same accent as vik??????

where the fuck did that ginger binch come from in the first place is she from piltover or noxus if shes from piltover what did ambessa give her and when

Neither of them would say ANY of this shit

wonder what vi would say if she saw this conversation before her and cait decided to pork

im just gonna choose to believe she was in there for like 5 hours so her labrador attention span just reset and she chilled out about jinx (actually ykw i guess im willing to believe at this point she doesnt really care that much if jinky offs herself or not)

what the FUCK ARE these goddamn doll puppet thingies viktor makes why are they LIKE that why is THIS the theme here (because orianna and Plot) (but like dyouknow what i mean)

what the fuck was the point of Skye Young as a character in this entire story other than a Gaydar Jammer. with all respect to skyvik stans but like. what is it.

lmao you abandoned them much before that guys

we stan a I Gave You Food And A Roof Why Are You Sad You Ungrateful Ingrate queen

it REALLY DOESNT DOES IT JGHCCGHIBC

why DID skye die again? they wouldnt have just? integrated? again? or smthn? why is this a one-passenger ride all of a sudden? we already got a hivemind thing goin? whatsup?

[spicystufffan]

Социальные сети довольно важная часть жизни! От удобства, открытости и понятного использования зависит популярность любой сети. Но что мы наблюдаем в Инсте❓Правила всё непонятнее, жёстче и очевидно продвигают только хайповых, уже медийных персон и деятелей smm, которые надоели однотипными заявлениями, которые ведут только к выуживанию денег за продвижение. Директ забит очередными "гениальными"предложениями по продвижению....очередная "фишка" рассылка в Директ ✍️‼️ Ничего, кроме раздражения эта методика не вызывает, думаю вы обратили внимание, что рассылку ведут с аккаунтов-ботов-фейков....это вовсе не зря ‼️ Их банят и Инста и пользователи за навязчивость, назойливость и низкую эффективность✌️ Не верьте в то, что рассылку ведут целенаправленно на нужную вам аудиторию, это ложь, "пуляют"🔘 лишь бы отправить, как и массфоловинг в своё время. Цены "космические", выхлоп ноль🖤 Аудитория это чёрные хлопцы всех мастей и те, кому ваш контент вообще не нужен💜💜💜 Есть ли выход❓✌️Да, есть, другая новая соцсеть, там уже огромное количество знаменитостей и я тоже там ❗ Какая, читайте в след��ющем посте ‼️ #часть #татьянагуровачили #новаясоцсеть #переходим #тутплохо #инстаумирает #сложныеправила #мода2019 #модапроходит #spicystuffchili #instadead #instabed #instafeik (at Krasnodar) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2GwT6gC7sE/?igshid=12dujb7y3kw4o

[werewolfgimmik]

You know what I’m still mad about overwatch 2. It’s just so unnecessary. Nobody wanted it. The new maps should’ve been added into the standard game. The new updated designs look way too busy and clownish, and the new game modes don’t exactly look exciting. I will be very sad if overwatch 2 kills the original, and changes overwatch league. I guess some of what I’m feeling could be change=bad PepeW!!!!! but no matter how you feel about the changes, so much of what people spent five years with will be gone.

[moonbeamdagger]

theodrink is instadead and that’s rolling LOW?!?!?!? AMELIA

[katiefratie]

Motherfucker......Rosamund.......she's just dead.....just.....instadead permadead this is fucked up

[icebluecyanide]

RQG 207

WHAT AN EPISODE

First of all: big thank you to Helen/Azu because without that sickened condition there would have been a lot more death

Hamid just barely surviving!! I’m so glad I didn’t know how many hitpoints he had until Bryn said he wasn’t instadead but I’m v happy he’s alright, poor Bryn sounded so distressed

also very emotional about Zolf ignoring the creature to immediately heal Hamid when he saw he was down, despite the two of them not always getting along

Hamid’s dream made me emotional and I’m sad he failed his check and they apparently forgot Zolf could unity him so he was just out again aslhdfds (but not before cuddling into Cel!! who threw him to safety!!)

Ada with the wand!!! Skraak with his great damage roll!! Azu getting a great hit in!!

Sumutnyerl :( here’s to hoping they can bring their body back to the bear for a resurrection later

Wilde 😭���

I don’t think I’ve been this stressed about the maths in this game since that time they all fell off the roof in Paris tbh, so grateful for Bryn reminding everyone of the bonuses and seeming to talk Ben through the required checks to bring Wilde back

speaking of: WILDE LIVES!!! Zolf for mvp of this ep I’d say 

Please no more character deaths, this is enough death for the campaign

[malaismere]

man, there’s some weird sixth level spells. (or, hey, level up meta)

Ok, so, clerics don’t have too many high level spells, but what the do get has some interesting ones. the big ones are

Harm: con save or 14d6 necrotic that reduces the targets max hp by that amount for an hour 

Heal: automatic 70 hp and a lessor restoration. You just know Caduceus is gonna be carrying this one w/ him at All Times. 

Heroes’ Feast, which you might remember from being big in C1. up to 12 people get 2d10 added to their max hp, become immune to poison and fear, and get advantage on wisdom saves. super useful, although the material components are costly.

Forbiddance: this ones kind of weird, but it wards an area against teleportation effects and grants 5d10 damage to certain creature types, the big one here being fiends. Casting it for a month makes it permanent, which might be a good effect to put on the xorhaus, if they ever have the time. this one’ll probably get pulled out when they have prep-time and want to keep somewhere safe for a day. 

Planar Ally: ask your god for help, they send you an ally that can help you. this doesn’t have many requirements, but the ally is also paid by how much time they spend, and it can get expensive.

True Seeing: give someone truesight, the ability to notice secret doors, and to see into the ethereal. May overlap with Fjord’s abilities, we don’t know what, exactly, the sword gives him, but still v. cool

there’s also Blade barrier, a wall of 6d10 slashing damage, create undead, which is def not gonna get used if Caduceus has anything to say about it, Find the Path, which finds the shortest path to a given location, and word of recall, which teleports 6 people to a pre-prepared sanctuary. 

A lot of interesting spells. I’d be very interested to see what casting planar ally with the Traveller would do, and if they can get the supplies, Heroes’ feast is amazing. 

Wizards get 2 more spells. Caleb has Magic Jar and Soul Cage from Halas, which he can choose to learn if he wishes, but I don’t expect him to use magic jar. Soul cage, though, maybe. 

Liam tends to go for spells that make thematic sense, which limits down the list a lot. He also tends to choose at least one fire-based spell. Of course, he might also be making new spells, but what can we do about that?

Investiture of Flame is the only fiery spell (i guess Sunbeam is, but ehhh). Caster gets covered in fire, is immune to fire damage and resistant to cold. Any creature within 5 feet takes 1d10 fire damage, and you can make a line attack for 4d8 fire damage. it lasts for 10 minutes. 

Other transmutation spells include Create Homunculus, Move Earth, Tenser’s Transmutation (basically turn you into a fighter for one round), Flesh to Stone (petrify someone) and the one Caleb might actually take, Disintegrate.

Disintegrate does 10d6+40, and if it reduces someone to zero, they’re instadead, and can only be revived by a 9th level spell. I’m currently on the Disintegrate Trent Ikithon train. Seriously, the dude’s a wizard, a few rounds of attacks and hopefully he isn’t great a dex, and bam, no more problems. 

Arcane Gate and Scatter both follow the teleport track, but they’re more battle spells, so, who knows. One basically is a set of portals, the other bamfs people 120 feet somewhere. 

The other big possibilities are Globe of Invulnerability, which is a 1 minute sphere of no-spells-below-fifth-level affecting a 10ft radius, True Seeing, and Mass Suggestion. 

In really weird spells, we also have Contingency, which is basically preparing a spell to target yourself at some point in ten days time. This could be a good auto-teleport or auto-polymorph, but it’s only good on your self and it could get weird. 

There’s also Guards and Wards that is one of those spells that reminds you that high level wizards are supposed to be out here making dungeons. I highly doubt Caleb’s gonna take it, but it basically turns your house into a pretty scary dungeon. I’m very pro.