#instead of like- this

[anxi-writes]

Had an urge to write something angsty awhile ago. And thought that maybe tumblr would enjoy this depressing piece of work because, y’know, transformers. Anyways, here’s your food 😋

• ANGST •

It was like a blow to the gut. The glassy windows to outside serving as anything but protection from the sudden emotional pain. The dark space swirls with yellows, oranges and reds, a violent yet beautiful landscape.

A sob escapes from the back of your throat. You didn’t even realise you were crying until now. Your face is drenched in tears, it’s as if you went for dive in an endless abyss of tears. It takes all of your strength to prey yourself from the disastrous scene out in the distance.

A hand clasps your shoulder. Your emotions change like wildfire as you whip around and slap the metal hand away.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry…? Sorry?? He’s sorry. Where was that apology, that kindness, when he drove his blood stained fist into your planet? Where was his sympathy when he continued to push his own race into near extinction? It’s too fucking late.

“You’re sorry? Well sorry doesn’t bring back my home now, does it?” You hiss with anger. The pit in your stomach boils with rage and you can’t help but release it. Anyone would think you had a death wish with how close you were standing to the ex-warlord. Then again, maybe you did have a death wise. The one thing you were looking forward to and yearned had been incinerated. Dying is the least of your concerns.

“I thought the war was over! I and many others were told that Earth would be safe, that we wouldn’t have to fear a fate such as this!” You’re practically screaming now, your anger burned into your face like the scorched planet of what you once called home. Your crewmates, the aliens you’re now stuck with, look at you with pity. A pettiness that makes you want to just hurl yourself off into the coldness of space. Their pity is the last thing you need. If anything, it just makes matters worse.

“I had a family down there you know? I had a life down there outside of this whole human liaison bullshit!” Tears trickle down your face as you continue to express your anger whilst Megatron stands there. It’s only now that you realise that you might be the last human alive. And that scares you to no end. It’s that thought alone that stops you in your tracks. It stops you from adding onto your continuing verbal assault towards a certain mech, who knows If that’s a good thing or not.

The realisation that you might be the last of your species makes your knees wobble. The sense of dread fills your tiny being to the brim as you find yourself now on your knees. You can’t do this. Fuck this. Your body shakes uncontrollably as you fail to ground yourself. This all seems so bloody dramatic, maybe you would’ve ended up doing great in that one school drama play your teacher begged you to join.

Your vision blurs as you try to pull yourself up from the floor. It’s no use. Maybe it would be better if you just sank into the floor. Sinking into the floor and becoming one with the ship didn’t seem so bad. At this point you would do anything to not be here in this present time.