#interesting how ... nevermind

[cinamun]

We need you healed | Next

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[tsukihasnolife]

"YOU ARE BEING WASHED, THE GOVERNMENT HAS A SECRET S-"

[andrasandreas]

[possessable]

Coughing Bomb [R-Agnes] vs. Hydrogen Baby [C-Angus]

[humiliation-doggy]

i'm a sucker for memory loss fics which, in fact, does tie into my messy ass memory and also how i have suffered from bouts of memory loss (that lasted for only 5-15 seconds but they were impactful)

now, let's wonder about my inclination for mpreg-

[licorishh]

"The Bible is so sexist blah blah blah" okay. When it talks about how you can avoid doing stupid things in Proverbs it uses a man in its examples and personifies wisdom as a woman though which I think is pretty funny

[jackednephi]

Anyway I found a cake mix and had some scraps of things so I tried to make cupcakes. You can pinpoint the exact cupcake where I went "lol screw this my hand is broken"

Observe my hideous but tasty children. They've given me ideas for future endeavors and represent much needed calories

[thegreatyin]

hey have you thought about how the steed ending of bag a legend involves veils being reduced to a single bestial shadow of itself that haunts and hunts. i think you could wring a parallel out of that

yeah i've thought about it the winged and taloned steed a normal amount because as always i am normal and chill and normal and have i mentioned normal? i'm normal. i'm so so sooooooooo fucking normal. the parallel implications however are new and now im biting that like a jawbreaker thanks??

[pagesofkenna]

thing that makes me feral is its everyone else telling Jinx who she is

her friends end up dead and she's still got their voices in her head telling her who and what she is. Silco spends the rest of his life telling her who she is to him. one city is telling her shes a terrorist and the other that she's a savior. even Isha is the one who 'adopted' Jinx, deciding that they would have a relationship—Jinx just go to decide what that looks like

I don't even have a point to this, just. the relationship with Isha and the touching her shoulders scene could both be seen as moments of growth for Jinx—people rely on her, they trust her, they believe in her, and she seems to believe it for the first time since Vi returned—but they're also just more instances of other people telling her who she should be

[vi-enti]

school’s over so back on the fanfic grind (a grind i have not openly shared on the internet since like. 2018), unsure if this is an idea to continue but i am thinking so hard... about the difficulties of the healing process. really gotta purge that poison

. . .

“Hello, this is… Hajime Hinata. The date is… I have no idea what the date is. It’s been 14 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes and 24 seconds since we woke up from the Neo World Program.”

“…I don’t know why I said it like that. It’s been about two weeks.” 

“Uhh… I’m not sure what to say here, really. Naegi—Makoto, that is—told me this would be a good way to get my thoughts down. That way if there’s anything I forget, or anything I want everyone to know after… Well, I don’t think I can really forget anything. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could.”

“Sorry there are so many quiet gaps. I’m trying to think about what I want to say... I guess I’ll start with the facts, and we can go from there. I was the first person to wake up, and then Sonia. Kazuichi took a few hours longer, he was so… his limbs were so scarred. I could barely tell the healthy tissue apart from all of the burns and cuts. When he got out, he just kept screaming and crying, he just kept—“

“Akane was next, but she was barely a shell, too weak, so Makoto put her back under for a few more days before waking her up. She wasn’t in the pod though, we—they moved her to a hospital bed in a different room. This facility really has everything. You wouldn’t believe the scale of the medical equipment, Tsumiki would love it—“

“Basically, Akane woke up a week after Kazuichi, technically, and then we put her into a medical coma for a while. We as in… I didn’t do that. I mean, I did, but it didn’t feel like me.”

“Actually, I never feel like… me. I don’t know who me is supposed to be now. I’m still him—I mean, I’m still me—but I’m not me— fuck, this doesn’t make any fucking sense, I just can’t— Sonia, don’t touch me—“

“…”

“…I want my mom. I don’t remember the last time I wanted my mom. I don’t even… remember my mom, anymore.”

“…Patient 5, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko. We plan to wake him from his induced medical coma today, following complications from his enucleation operation directly after awakening from pod sleep. There was an infection at the area of operation and I deemed it too dangerous to continue until it was cleared. Naegi had some objections, but his background is not medical, and does not always need to be taken into account. Patient 4 will simply have to wait.”

“He still has the damn thing.”

“…they all do.”

“Alter Ego, end recording.” Hajime slumped back against his chair, bringing a hand up to push his hair back. It was a newly acquired habit, one always accompanied by the feeling of missing something, like there wasn’t enough hair to run through his fingers. He hated it. Hated thinking that it wasn’t newly acquired at all, that whoever he was in the past few years did it all the time. 

That hadn’t gone nearly as well as he’d liked. These voice diaries were supposed to be records so they could explain things easier to the others once they all woke up, something to jog their memories. Privately, he was sure that Makoto had asked him to make them more for his own sake, as if they’d help somehow with all of the different thoughts running through his brain all of the time. If he spoke them out loud, then somehow they’d disappear. It was the compromise they’d settled on after Hajime had refused to attend Future Foundation-provided therapy. Most of the time they turned out exactly like this, not suitable for anyone’s ears except his own. 

Makoto was an idiot. Talking about it wasn’t going to stop the constant streams of thought in his brain, analyzing every thing and every action around him, picking apart the movements of his friends and their slight changes in tone, detecting every potential threat and every potential weapon for killing someone—fuck.

He was so tired of dreaming up all the ways people could die. His rare moments of sleep were already haunted by spears and giant Tetris blocks, by fire and poison and terrified faces. He didn’t need more deaths on his mind, constant echoes of terrors of his own creation. 

Sitting up properly, he stretched his arms out before standing up to examine his half of the room. At least two people kept watch in the pod room at all times, waiting for anyone to wake up next and making sure nobody died. It reminded him of the hospital in the simulation, someone always watching over Akane and Ibuki and—

An alarm beeped and Sonia, on the other end of the room, startled awake in her own chair. She had stayed on that side after Hajime shoved her away earlier, eventually drifting to sleep by Gundham’s pod. It was the one she stared at the most, blue eyes alight with grief and fury, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She was better off than Hajime, at least. One of his eyes stayed empty. Makoto had warned him that she shouldn’t be allowed to spend so much time with Gundham, but he could never bring himself to pull her away. Clearing his throat, he waited for the former princess to look up towards him. 

“Shift change. You should go sleep in an actual bed, I can wait for Kazuichi and Makoto if you want to go on ahead.” She shook her head, fingers trailing over the glass coffin holding the Ultimate Breeder. 

“No, that’s alright. You’ve been here long enough, you need to rest before Fuyuhiko. It’s only a few more hours away. Besides, I…” Sonia trailed off, gaze shifting to the pod next to Gundham’s, covered with a sheet. Everyone had to be checked on, but there was just one person Hajime couldn’t stand to see. The only person in the room that caused his dead eye to come to life. 

He couldn’t identify the emotion, but it had to be hate. It had to be, right?

At least he knew he wouldn’t be judged for it. Everyone had someone they couldn’t look at in this room, couldn’t face directly. Hajime was just the only one weak enough to require a sheet covering the pod. The only one who couldn’t be controlled if he had a fit of anger, or worse—one of despair. 

Swallowing back bile, he nodded, making a quick exit from the room to the quarters right next door. A large room had been set up with beds and necessities for them, the six that were here and constantly switching out. Kyoko had suggested separate rooms, but after multiple nights of Kazuichi sneaking into his room or Sonia screaming in her sleep from across the hall, Hajime had fought for them to all be together. Makoto, almost with a child-like excitement, had insisted that he, Kyoko, and Aoi stay there too. 

The lucky student in question had been sitting on the floor cross-legged when he walked in, laptop resting on a knee while he glared down at the screen. A glare from Makoto wasn’t usually all that effective, but whatever he was seeing seemed to be genuinely pissing him off. If Hajime had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have bothered disturbing the younger. Still, someone had to go fill in for him with Sonia until Kazuichi took over for her. The mechanic was nowhere to be seen—probably sitting at Akane’s bedside, as usual. Tapping Makoto gently on the shoulder, Hajime waited for him to look up from the email he had been so focused on. 

“Oh, you’re back! Has it been six hours already? I didn’t even notice.” It wasn’t a long time to spend watching the pods, but Aoi had insisted. They had three pairs switching out, and she didn’t want anyone spending more time in the pod room than they did outside of it, in the fresh air and the real world—or so she said. Hajime was sure it had more to do with her growing concern for the five of them, Kyoko and Makoto included. While they hadn’t been in the program nearly as long, they still seemed just a bit too pale to her. As for himself, Sonia, and Kazuichi… Aoi had never known them before, but worried nonetheless about irreparable damage. 

“Yes, I’m back. Will you find Kazuichi and tag Sonia out? She’s just finishing check-ups.” The shorter nodded, shutting his laptop and standing from his seat on the floor. “Everything alright?”

“It’s just Byakuya, he’s facing some problems bringing the medical equipment we need over to the island. The Future Foundation doesn’t see the need to care for some of the pre-existing conditions your class has, they’re just barely allotting enough supplies for taking care of the… last bits of Junko. It’s like you aren’t even humans to them, they just have no empathy!” Makoto rubbed his temples, forcing a weak smile onto his face. It hadn’t escaped Hajime that the bright-eyed boy that they had met in the final trial and the tired man before him right now seemed so far apart from each other. Because of us—because of me. 

“We aren’t human to them.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. “But we are to you. You’re the best of them, Makoto. I know you’ll work things out.” The younger’s smile twisted, not exactly happy, and he nodded in response. 

“Right. The Ultimate Hope, that’s me. I have to be able to fix this.” Hajime raised an eyebrow, not meaning that at all, but Makoto was already walking out of the room to take over watch duties. That had gone… stunningly bad. Whatever part of his soul had been able to produce hope for the others in the Neo World Program had been hiding, his mind and body too used to the actions and words of another. Another who had no idea how to give someone hope for the future, much less comfort someone just the slightest bit. All Hajime seemed to be good at these days was making things worse. 

A warmth squeezed around his hand, like someone urging him to stop thinking, and he yanked it away from—from nothing. There was nobody there. He just needed to get some rest before Fuyuhiko’s surgery today. 

Two beds remained empty, waiting for their last members. Akane was awake, but still too weak to leave her hospital bed, and Fuyuhiko would join them today. Hopefully. Sitting on his own perfectly made bed, he wondered if all of the remnants would end up sharing a room for the rest of time. The three of them awake so far had their nightmares, some worse than others, and it was impossible to imagine the rest being able to sleep easy after all that had happened. It was too easy to imagine everyone around the room, as if their spaces were already there waiting for them. Glancing around, Hajime could imagine each and every one of them smiling at him, if he could just bring them all back, if he could just wake them up. 

A flash of pink and white hair danced at the corner of his eyes, a gentle smile and a false one, and he slammed his head down on the bed, covering his vision with a pillow. Sleep now, hypotheticals later. Hypotheticals that could never, ever be reality anyways. It was dangerous to get lost in thoughts of a happy ending. 

He didn’t deserve an ending just yet. There was too much to fix. 

[marinerainbow]

*During the time Poppy's mother, Buttercup, visited her*

Poppy: I don't understand why you and father can't just get a divorce.

Buttercup: Oh, 'The Hollywood' way?

Buttercup: 'We're out of mustard. Let's divorce!', 'I'm a little sad. Divorce!'

Buttercup: 'We've grown apart over the years. Our adult child has moved out, and we no longer have any reason to stay together. Divorce.'

Poppy: That is an actual legitimate reason to get a divorce!

Buttercup: Besides; who's going to want me after what you did to my body?

Poppy, hands holding her kettle shaking: ... What I did?

Buttercup: *sighs and pulls out a painting* Anyways. Do you want this? Your grandfather painted it years ago- Now that was a man who knew what marriage meant.

Poppy: Um... Yes, I'll take it.

Buttercup: I mean, you might as well take it. I did drive it all the way out here.

Poppy: 'Oh great, the guilt tripping. I was wondering when that was coming.' Yes, I will take it.

Buttercup: That's all you ever do. Just take, take, take.

Poppy: ...

Poppy: *clenching her mug so tight by now that it's at risk of crumbling in her hands* How long are you going to be here, mother?

Buttercup: ... Just pour me a drink.

Poppy: Fine.

[gay-victorian-astronomer]

last exam of my undergrad career is shaping up to be long & annoying contour integral hell times

(granted the entire course has been long and annoying integral hell, so... I suppose that's fitting for the final? still doesn't make me want to do it any more)

[unhonestlymirror]

Do you ever look at someone's art and clearly realise they are extremely unhappy with their sex life?

[emberhunny]

How do I write non queer characters. Like actually. I've been trying to make my main character as straight as possible (while admittedly leaving room for Sapphic Speculation™) and I just can't. Wdym she can't go on a 4 paragraph rant about how gorgeous the other female lead is and how trying to draw her would be sacrilege. What.

[multishipper-baby]

Random thought but, while Owynn would've had problems with Rayray no matter what (since he didn't want kids), I do imagine that Ray looking a lot like him probably... Didn't help matters.

[angeltism]

I'm sooo hot