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tinkatonnageoffun · 2 years ago

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Abyss

A WIP prologue of a fic I'm hoping to post someday. I'm putting it here so I can get some early feedback for revisions, and also because I like watching numbers tick up.

Yes, before you ask, it is a shipgirl fic for Kantai Collection. Yes, it's also a Dishonored crossover.

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The sun rose over Dunwall’s bay.

Atop the high white walls of the aristocratic quarter, two did sit and converse.

“Do they not unnerve you?”

A scoff.

Bellowed low did the mournful calls of a wounded whale echo across the water, sunlight glinting off the blood-sullied ships calling their fair port home.

A sigh.

“Of course.”

They turned their eyes away from the bay, and the victorious hunting horns sounded.

Crimson splattered against decks as the cheers of many working men went up into the air, the scent of salt and the stench of iron pervading through the air.

The whaling trawlers stood still on the water, towering over the smaller boats in the docks, waves slowly lapping up against the sides of their looming steel hulls, as ichor from their crew’s latest prey dripped, dripped, dripped down onto their decks, flowing down the sides like a macabre curtain.

Gore pooled into the bay, and it was whaling season in Dunwall again.

Deckhands whistled as crates and blubber were hauled ashore, bosun’s ear-bleeders and wounded animal calls drifting across the port, interjoining into a discordant chorus of ship’s horns and voices high over low as the bustle of the returning hunt began.

“Voids, just lookit the size of ‘er! We’re eatin’ good tonight lads!”

Eyes roved out over the water, stormy grey and gazing off into places elsewhere.

“Can barely believe it myself I say, she’s nearly bigger’n me bloody house! What a beauty of a beast.”

Smoke drifted into the air from a pipe, attached to a pair of cracked lips hidden behind a scruffy ill-maintained beard.

“Daniels, keep yer mitts off the crates! If I find even a piece o’ that blubber missin’, I’ll take my cut outta yer hide, you good-fer-nothin’ yellow liver!”

Calloused and bloody hands gripped the railing at the bow of a ship, the limbs they were attached to hidden by a black wind-weathered overcoat, whale-leather exterior shining under the heavy gaze of the sun.

“You keep yer hands away from that Bessie or I’ll have words with you at the end of my gun, you salt-ridden dogs! Away, away with ye, to yer posts!”

Captain Gregor Hobson of the Red Lady’s Hymn sighed, raking a hand backwards through his hair, whale-oil pale with a meager speckling of grey here and there.

“Oi, Claggard! Ease up on ‘em, no reason to get so worked up this early when we’ve just brought in a haul like this.”

His voice was tired and exasperated, smokey and slow like a cask of fine liquor, or a trail of burning gunpowder leading to an ammunition storage, depending on his mood that day.

The first mate stood pinned in place, before quickly nodding and scarpering off without a word, not without one final glare at the smug deckhands.

“And fer the rest of you, if I find even so much as a hand's width of that blubber missing, I’ll feed you to it. Get back to work, the lot o’ you!” He turned, and the crew took to their stations with all the speed of a man being chased into hell without so much as a backglance.

“Blimey, he’s terrifyin’.”

“Aye. He was a sarge, fer the navy. Tyvia, I think. Sunk near a dozen ships himself and ate a man’s heart out on the deck during the wars, from what I heard tell of.”

“Malarkey, the both of you. He’s an old sea-dog, nothin’ more, nothin’ less. Just keep yer hands away from the whales if you want to keep ‘em. He’s ruddy well good with that sword, and I don’t fancy losin’ any more fingers than I already have.”

Hobson scoffed, turning his pipe over the port with a good thunk against the rail for good measure, reflective mood soured as a heavy frown worked its way onto his sea-wizened face.

“Excuse me.”

He cast an eye over his shoulder.

Another sigh, barely suppressed as the frown dropped from his face like a slick trout.

A thin man stood behind him, face pointier than a shark’s with twice the teeth to match, eyes narrowed down to dagger points and holding a watch in his hands, impatiently checking the time and tapping his foot.

A shining brass badge pinned to his vest shone in the rays

“Mornin’, Harbormaster. What can I do you for this fine day?” He greeted, turning and leaning back against the railing nonchalantly, tipping his hat up.

The Master looked down his nose from his head’s perch upon his far too spindly body with a sneer.

“Yes, yes, good morning and all that, we hardly have time for pleasantries. State your name and import, I have important places to be and this isn’t one of them.”

His voice was a mixture between coarse grating sand between his ears and a poor imitation of a noble’s nasal dulcet tones.

Hobson only narrowly kept from rolling his eyes at the behavior. Slap a new accent on, think you’re taller’n everybody else and suddenly you’re the talk of the Tower.

Still, as much as it grated, the Harbormaster was a rung above him in this twisted labyrinth of a society, so he played along for appearances sake.

“Of course, of course, wouldn’t want to keep you, I’m sure you’ve got some very important things to be doin’. Just follow me and we can be done with it right quick,” he assured, tone falser than his bosun’s teeth, smiling wide like a whale waiting for its next prey to wander into its maw.

The Master’s head inclined, chest puffing out, though he straightened himself out before it could become too obvious, glancing about none too obviously.

Hobson pretended he didn’t see it, whistling a jaunt as he guided the man away and down to the hold, past the whale strung up in the crane above them.

Hook, line and sinker with these types, every time, like leadin’ a rat to bread.

An hour later found the man off of his ship, wandering away with his hands stuffed into his pockets, probably to bugger whatever poor sod he set his eyes on next that was within his reach.

The Red Lady’s Hymn sailed for no company, and no sponsor.

To a man like the Harbormaster, it would’ve been easy prey for an ego boost, bossing about independent sailors on their own ships from the safety of his position, conversely to the myriad of trawlers moored in the bay marked as Royal Hunters, the biggest group of sailing shills this side of the continent.

Hobson watched until the slimy eel disappeared into the throng of sailors before turning back out across the bay, blowing out a long exhausted heave, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands to rid them of the salt’s sting.

The Hymn hummed under his hands, engines whining with electrical power under the strain of the immense creature above the deck, groaning as blood sluggishly dripped from harpoon wounds along its flank.

“I know girl, I know. Just one more good haul and you can rest,” he whispered, waiting for the humming to settle before striding off towards the bridge, barking orders to the crew as the church bells further inlands began to toll.

Below the deck, buried deep within the guts of the hulking steel beast of a ship, was the Hymn’s twin hearts, glowing as the whale-oil within churned and sparked with arcane energy, rusted screws rattling in their places as the engineers did their best to sooth the beleaguered machines.

The Red Lady’s Hymn was ancient, by modern day whaling trawler standards.

It wouldn’t be out of the question for Anton Sokolov to have walked the Hymn’s deck himself when it was just WT-032, the last of the Driscol class ships, marking the beginning of a new line as the trawlers were further refined.

Three crews had manned the decks of the Hymn in her time, and all but one of them had met grisly fates at sea at the hands of beasts unnamed and unknown.

And yet, every time, the Hymn had sailed back into Dunwall to do her duty as always, towed in by tugs, or, in the incident that earned her the moniker of Red Lady’s Hymn, by the tides themselves.

It had been a foggy morning then, all those years ago, bitter winter come to lay its weary bones into the bay as ice crept around the shores, and WT-032 had been missing at sea for three weeks.

The Watch had all but given up on it by the beginning of the second week, and the only ones still looking for it in any capacity were sailors wary of happening upon its wreck.

Then, in the waning days of the Month of High Cold, a ship had sailed into port, sluggishly maneuvering into dock until her hull had ran aground the shore with an awful shrieking noise, almost touching the nearest house with her prow until she rasped to a stop, barely a finger’s width away from shattering its window.

The Harbormaster then, a crabby old man with little to say beyond poison to spit at younger folk, had come running out of his hovel with his face twisted into an angry rictus and shouted for the captain of the vessel to step onto shore, then abruptly fell silent.

The hull loomed over him, red ichor drip, drip, dripping out of her scuppers and onto his face, filling his nostrils with the heavy cloying scent of iron as it dribbled down his chin.

The carcass of a whale still hung above the abandoned vessel, bereft of all life as it slowly shifted in the wind, sending creaks rattling down the cranes holding it aloft.

Blood congealed into the cold oak of the deck, spattered about in great pools and littered with splinters, some planks sticking out like jagged teeth, and others split in two, like the steps of a mighty giant had sundered them apart.

No matter where the Watch had searched, after the calls had gone up, no crew were to be found, corpses or otherwise.

It was like they had been plucked from the decks by the hands of the void itself, leaving it to drift away on the winds, pulled along by the tides like a lost child by the hand of a mother.

That day, in the cold of Dunwall’s winter, the dock-goers had gathered and listened as the vessel’s engines sang, like a ghostly siren’s chorus, solemn and pained as it strained to keep itself going on what little fuel it had left.

The sailors would drift home that morning, minds elsewhere and attention paid to places far away as the song echoed across the waves, the blood drip, drip, dripping off of her deck and into the bay, seemingly never drying no matter how long it stained the decks, or so they say.

WT-032 earned the moniker Red Lady’s Hymn that day, for the color of her crimson shawl and the notes of her sorrowful song.

As much of an curse as she was a blessing, she was truly a terrible and wonderful thing to see over the horizon, hull bloodied with whale-gore more often than not, her song whispering across the waves as the silhouette of a mighty beast caught in her crane wavered against the setting of the sun beneath the sea, like wet paint running down a canvas.

As the moon came up over Gristol and colored the ocean in a ghostly pale blue, the Red Lady’s Hymn set out for her next hunt, skies cloudless overhead and waves calm beneath her hull.

Captain Gregor kept a watchful eye over the sea, hands steady on the wheel as a quiet tune carried over the deck in chorus with the humming of the Hymn’s heart.

He turned slightly, away from the windows, just enough for the glow of the moon to leave the corner of his vision, grasping for the lighter in his pocket and deftly lighting the pipe perched precariously on the wooden surface beside him, lifting it to his mouth and turning back to face the deck.

He stilled.

It was quiet.

He leaned slightly over, casting his gaze about for his crew and finding nothing but air.

His heart slowed as his eyes narrowed, setting the pipe down.

He thumbed open the lock on the furthest right window, before calling out in a clear voice, “Boys, how’re the seas lookin’?”

The only answer was the waves, gently lapping against the Hymn’s hull, song eerily silent.

Unnerved, he called again, voice unsure, to no avail.

His eyes narrowed further, and his hands itched for his sword.

Turning on the spot, slowing the ship and leaving the wheelhouse, he opened the bulkhead and stepped out into the cool night air, breezeless and still.

Closing the heavy cast door behind him, he strided down the steps, whale-leather boots click, clack, clicking against the deck.

Two paces.

No sign of anybody.

His heart beat faster, like a war drum thudding in his ears.

Four paces.

“Boys?” He yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth.

No answer.

Six paces.

His back was nearly against the aft’s railing now, the Hymn’s heart still quiet beneath his feet, his voice echoing across the waves.

Eight paces.

The Hymn sang.

One, low, haunting note, like the death-call of a whale in her last throes, reverberating in his chest as it froze like ice, heart dropping like lead into his gut as it crescendoed, louder, louder, the engine’s whining almost reaching an unearthly wail, before-

Death, yawning wide open, like a cavernous maw, a black and cold abyss.

A hat hit the deck without a sound, a scream evaporating into the air, never making it out of his mouth as more than a rattling gasp.

When the dawn rose over Dunwall’s bay once more, and the hunt once again returned victorious to the bay only to find its waves silent and songless, the Red Lady’s Hymn was not there to greet it.

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Abyss

noun.

A deep or seemingly bottomless cavern.

“A rope led down into the abyss.”

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#kancolle #dishonored #dunwall #shipgirl #crossover #crossover fic #I have zero idea how to tag this.#my writing #bis rants #don't expect very many notes but I hope I at least get a few comments #Self esteem boosts and all that.#numbers go brrrrr

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meisteralready · 3 months ago

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Inside the blue light

Where I wait to take my turn

And the highway rushes by

Outside

Where I am more assure of myself

And where the red hue takes me,

A light that scarlet screams out most of your fears,

Like a breach, you face into

On your stool - the only alone you ever feel

Like Simon says in a blue room

Where the girls are and where the lit are singing as they partake in revelry.

This does me no good for I am locked into her,

The hypnotic spin of eyes and her aura,

Such devotion,

That leads me to ingest and prep my anxiety

For another night on stage

Even if it’s just workshop, even if it’s just an experiment

for any actual thing,

I take it as serious as a heart attack

Some of which, at times, I feel those grips,

A cardiac infarction,

Whose heaves and thrusts

Dictate how I build up to be; a spine,

And that’s just before the first line.

A connection is the goal,

Honest and earned,

And sometimes in the best times;

It feels interjoined like a twin,

A symbiotic serpent that slithers in our collective memory, the world where if we,

It’s happy service denizens,

line up into the mass - a powered group mind -

It’s transcendent

A breathing machine; a beating numbered heart; a personified animal.

Warmth, we must self-generate

For the building’s heating is off,

And the thin draft of air creates a line,

So that our secrets are heard more openly

To all who want to listen

And the souls of us, which leave their flecks upon the downstage,

Can emit their own fire.

To be wrong is to be present,

And such action is the ultimate sin; the ventilate goal.

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yoohoo-undead-unleashed · 1 year ago

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Chapter Seven: Monster!

Roodee had been hard at work on his latest inventions.

He'd called everyone over once he'd finished them all, and this was sure to be the most efficient way to deal with the Undead.

"Whoa, I've never seen anything like this before," the bushbaby said as he handled the weapon.

"I'm not really sure what this thing is supposed to be, either, but I heard something in passing during our time on Earth about something called a 'gun'," the capuchin told him.

"Earth...?" The word sounded alien to her.

"Oh, we went through some other things before we met you, Orca," Pammee told her.

"Smells like dust," Chewoo mused, holding another weapon.

Lemmee sighed, not in exasperation, but admiration for his friend, even if he didn't want to admit it. "Oh, Chewoo... Never change."

"Would you want one, Orca?" YooHoo asked, offering her a crossbow.

"I'm good. I prefer fighting with more conventional means."

"O...okay..." That was a weird answer. "Hey, Roodee. Anything in that encyclopedia of yours that talks about the Soul Pots?"

"No, not really."

"So we really are gonna be going into this search for the Soul Pots blindly, and all we know for sure is that one of them is in the Death Forest," Lemmee said. "Unfortunately, I shouldn't complain since I assumed that from the start."

"How many of them should be there, anyway?" Chewoo asked.

"Not counting the Death Forest, probablyyy... about seven," Roodee guessed.

"Let's just get the closest one done first. Since we're close to the forest...not to be confused with the Death Forest, just so you know...let's get to its Soul Pot. Just to be safe," Pammee said.

Her friends nodded, and so they were off.

"Hoo boy... This is a game of concentration here," Lemmee huffed.

They were traveling through the trees, jumping from branch to branch in search of the Soul Pot from above.

"Hey, that tree looks a bit odd. It's like there's some sort of webbing on that branch." Roodee pointed at the tree in question.

Orca froze in place at the sight.

There was a bad feeling gnawing at her gut, and she knew they had to have done something with it.

"Let's take this one instead," she said, pointing at a different tree.

Nobody understood the sudden change of pace, but they all complied and took the jump.

Little did they know that this tree was also rigged by a trap.

Before they knew it, they were all hanging upside-down in a net, looking into the eyes of a pair of gators.

"Well, well, if it isn't the little twerp we tried to get rid of to sell her little forest for profit," the tall gator smirked.

"Too bad you two haven't learned to back off," she retorted.

"You let her run off with that dumb owl after you hit her, you know," the shorter one scolded him.

"It's your fault you didn't tell me to go after him!"

"How's it my fault?! I was telling you to, but you decided to waste your time telling me to shut up!"

As the group watched the gators bicker, YooHoo tapped Orca's shoulder.

"You know these two?"

They cut their argument short as they sharply turned their heads to see the other company they had.

"Why, who are these little potential customers for our wares?" asked the short one.

"I'm...sorry, what?" Lemmee deadpanned.

"Allow us to introduce ourselves!" the tall one said, striking a pose. "I'm Oops!"

"And I'm Koops!" the short one added, posing as well.

"And we serve the Big Boss in the search for the most valuable thing on this island: the Fountain of Youth!" they said together, choreographing an interjoined stance.

The air fell silent as they waited for a response.

Pammee cleared her throat.

"We shouldn't have done this," Koops muttered.

His brother nodded in agreement.

"'Most valuable thing on this island'? The Fountain of Youth?" Chewoo asked.

"Yeah, for money," Oops said.

"Sorry, but the fountain's not for sale!" Roodee cried, crossing his arms.

"Oh, really?" Koops questioned, a shady grin spreading across his face. "Who said it was, then?"

"Nobody, that's who!" Orca shouted, pointing accusingly at the two.

That was when YooHoo thought a thought. A mischievous thought. The kind of thought that would work in his favor for... let's just say toying with the gators.

"You know..." he said. "I might have an impression of you guys."

Oops raised a brow as the bushbaby cleared his throat.

What came out next was pure chaos.

"Hurr hurr, look at me, I'm an alligator, I wanna make money, so I'm gonna get the Fountain of Youth for myself!"

"Wh-what?" the gators sputtered in unison.

"YooHoo..." Orca warned.

Lemmee facepalmed.

"Oh! Oh! I wanna join!" Chewoo squealed, and chimed in. "I do this stupid little dance to advertise myself to customers with my brother, and I question everything about it!"

"Guys, stop."

"Aw, c'mon, Orca, it's fun, though! Look at them!" he said, pointing at the now-absolutely steaming duo, then resuming his plan. "My boss—"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Koops roared.

"You've messed with the wrong gators! Fortunately for us—and unfortunately for you—we've got just the thing to ensure we get our bank on the fountain!" Oops shouted. "Undead, attack!"

"Huh?!"

Almost as if on command, the creatures descended upon them, ripping them out of the net and taking hold of them.

"Damn it— Let go of me!" Orca shoved an Amoeba Zombie off of her, only to be placed in a chokehold by a Bandead.

"What a shame. we only wanted your help in our cause, yet you want to drag our values through the mud," Oops tsked. "Oh, well. With the Monsters on our side, we'll have this taken care of in no time. This island is going to be ours, and nobody else will be getting in our way."

"So you did this!" Lemmee cried as he struggled to break free.

Roodee had a plan, however.

He'd brought the hammer he used for making his inventions with him, along with his new weapon of choice, what he'd coined the Soul Shooter.

He raised it, intending to bring it down on an Amoeba Zombie's head—

"Hey! He's trying to escape!" Koops shouted. "MINOTAUR, KILL THEM!"

YooHoo's eyes widened as the ground shook with what appeared to be very heavy footsteps.

And they came quickly.

A blur slammed into the forest, shaking the earth even more as it made its landing in front of its summoners.

It looked like a large bull, with large, pitch-black horns that could skewer anything and anyone that got in its way, huge fists that could easily smash even the toughest of rocks, and ring piercings on both its ears and nose.

It growled as its brightly shining, crimson eyes focused on the much-smaller animals it was up against, building to a malicious, fearsome bellow as it raised its head skyward.

The gators laughed as the Minotaur ended its display of power.

"You see that? This is what a real Monster is like!" Oops boasted.

Orca growled as she continued to struggle herself out of the Bandead's grasp.

"Hey, maybe after we get the fountain, we could probably get to finishing what we started with her," Koops told his brother.

"Ooh, that's definitely a good idea!"

That set her over the edge.

Both the gators and her captor flinched as her body suddenly began to grow, transforming into a Monster in front of their eyes.

"Of course we had to forget about that," Oops whimpered.

The newly-transformed Orca snarled at the brothers, causing them to scamper off, but she wasn't going to let them get away easily, so she went after them in hot pursuit.

The Minotaur, now alone with its allies and prey, snorted as it lumbered closer to the captive animals.

They still had no way of getting out...

And already, they were to now prepare for the fight of their life.

#goonya monster #グーニャモンスター #yoohoo #yoohoo and friends #유후와 친구들 #yoohoo: undead unleashed

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talesofpassingtime · 2 years ago

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“Perhaps I feared to make Alphonse jealous,” she interjoined, with excessive naivete. That made them all laugh. The right hand jealous of the left! The heart jealous of the soul! But for that matter, the Creole husband is never jealous; with him the gangrene passion is one which has become dwarfed by disuse.

— Kate Chopin, The Awakening

#booklr

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letterex-fyofm · 11 months ago

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ty for the tag @mallgothyamaguchi! ILYSM

warning: there will be a lot of text in this post because i can't keep my mouth shut (or my hands still)

That One Fuck™ (aka: fav haikyuu character):

mmm, i wonder who could it be?? 🤔🤔

Funnily enough, at first I hated Yamaguchi and Tsukishima with my whole being. Like, fuck them, why are they so mean? I did think too that Yamaguchi was spineless. And I was like, always annoyed when he and Tsukishima would appear on the screen.

I thnk they were meant to be unlikeable at first. It's practically impossible to like Tsukki at first, even Tadashi gets weirded out when Tsukki's so damn rude at their meeting with Hinata and Kageyama. And Yamaguchi...

There's actually a CD drama where Kageyama admits that his first impression of Tadashi was that he was Tsukki's cheerleader, and nothing else. Furudate wrote his character with that in mind. But as the story progresses, much as Hinata learns that volleyball is not all about spiking, much as Kageyama learns that setting is not all about the setter, much as Tsukki learns that volleyball is not all about winning always--we learn that Tadashi is not all about Tsukki.

He went for Shimada, a total stranger, to teach him how to fight. It's funny, because I've been in Tadashi's situation before. Years ago, I liked volleyball but was much worse than everyone else. I felt worthless, so I quit. And that's how most people approach things they can't do well: they quit.

Tsukki, the supposedly "cooler" one, quit himself.

But Tadashi did not.

And he failed oh so many times. The match with Ahoba Josai hurt bad enough, but the Wakutani match hurt as hell. So, when Tadashi finally achieved to do a serve ace--that was the moment he became the coolest Haikyuu character for me.

Maybe because everyone else is like a concept, and we can't all become monsters like Hinata or Kageyama. And we don't have the body of Aone or Tsukki to fight. Most of us are pretty average, just like Tadashi. But Tadashi has the strength and the courage to make himself count.

Few stories have impacted me as much as his. And I have never loved a character as much as I love Tadashi. I might be a bit biased when I say his character development was the best on the series--nah, I'm def biased.

But seeing how human he is and yet how awesome and cool he is, how good of a friend, how cool as a player--he made a great captain, I'm sure.

FAV ROMANTIC AND FRIENDLY SHIP

OMG ANOTHER DIFFICULT ONE 😯😯😯which will it be?? 🤔🤔🤔

I love when Furudate does this with these two. In so many instances have they known what the other was thinking. Tadashi's job is to help Karasuno score points. Wether it be by a serve ace or by helping Tsukki to block the spikers. But, when Tadashi is serving in that Shiratorizawa match, the one with the focus is Tsukki. Tadashi is trying to help Tsukki.

And Tsukki knows this. And he trusts Tadashi to be that help he needs. Not only for blocking, not only for volleyball--but for life itself. When has Tadashi not been there for him? He was there when Kei realised Akiteru had lied to him. He was there when Kei closed off, when he slacked off during volleyball because it was "just a club", when everyone said he was a waste of height and smarts, when he doubted of himself after winning the Shiratorizawa match--always there.

But this time, at the Nekoma match, Tadashi's serve apparently doesn't shake Nekoma as much as we wishes it would have. It's not enough. He wanted to help Tsukki more. Just like when he yelled at Tsukishima and asked him about pride and motivation--just for Tsukishima to go to third-gym.

Not enough, he might think. Others say it too, that the ones who really got Tsukishima to put an effort to be the monster he is now was Kuroo, Bokuto, Hinata, Kageyama--and they are all right.

But who got him moving was Tadashi. It started with Tadashi and it ended with him with that culmination of their interjoined arcs with that point.

Yamaguchi was the one who got Kei moving, and for him, "that was plenty."

it is so quick yet they still think of each other--and to gain the point, of course. But the serve and block combo was one of those points that equaled to 100 points.

And Furudate makes it so clear to us. Because, after scoring, they are not thinking about volleyball. They are not thinking of Nekoma or Karasuno or whatever. They are thinking about each other. How they started, and how they are right now. This is not something about volleyball, this is something about them. Them as friends, them as best friends, them as people who chose to stick together.

And, even after high school and into adulthood, they still have decided to stick together.

Don't care what anyone says. They are the real kindred spirits.

UNDERRATED CHARACTER AND UNDERRATED RELATIONSHIP

I'm not saying anything else, I have yapped enough for today--SIKE

It's crazy to me that people don't remember his name. He's just...like the best teacher someone could have. Remember, Tadashi was not paying him to teach him the jump float serve. It was all for free and Shimada spent his time teaching this kid he doesn't know how to build a weapon of his own.

And he cares so much? And it is just so...wholesome how proud he is every time Yamaguchi succeeds--not only on the court but as a person.

He reminds me so much to the way Akiteru boasts about Kei? Like, he always finds the way to brag about his disciple--which, honestly, who wouldn't? TADASHI IS COOL!

RANDOM HEADCANON(s)

Yamaguchi is an only child but has such an extensive family--he has cousins all over the place. He's like the middle cousin, between adults that are engaged and infants that are barely learning to speak.

Tadashi has definitely told everything about Shimada to Tsukki, and everything about Tsukki to Shimada. So much so Makoto knows what they did for Tsukki's thirteen birthday while Kei knows what Shimada says to encourage Tadashi every single day. When they are together, it's so awkward because they know each other so well yet they have literally spoken like less than fifty words.

Shimada and Akiteru ship Tsukkiyama. I don't make the rules. It's just the way Tadashi talks about Tsukki and the way Tsukki tried to act cool in front of Tadashi when they were getting to know each other.

Haikyuu!! ask game ♡

Bc these r so cute and i always get happy when someone tags me in one of these so i wanted to make one lol. Reblog with:

That One Fuck™ (aka: fav haikyuu character)

Fav romantic ship

Fav friendship

Underrated character

Underrated relationship (romantic or otherwise)

A random hq headcanon

Tag a few friends/mutuals!

Hope you're all having a nice day, stay safe ♡♡♡

#will i ever not yap in my posts?#like this was meant to be a short post #tskym #tsukkiyama #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #shimada makoto #tsukishima akiteru #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi

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imonlyhereforthexreaders · 3 years ago

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Gold Rush (part 2)

(Benny Watts x reader)

A/n: once again I don’t own any characters from the queens gambit or the song Gold Rush which this fic is based off of

Warning: mention of parent death

Summary: The reader and Benny set off on their way to the cabin they’ll be occupying for their stay in Maine for eastern championships

Benny picked you up early the morning you had decided on leaving. The sun had barely peaked over the horizon when his beetle came kicking down the road towards your house. It sputtered gracelessly to a stop in your driveway where you sat on the porch expectantly with a packed bag beside you. You cringed at the dark smoke being spat from the exhaust but your attention was quickly pulled away by Benny pulling himself out of the drivers side and waving enthusiastically.

“Come on, we haven’t got all day” you looked over his beetle, unconvinced of its reliability for the trip.

“Can that thing even make it to the state line?” You questioned, he had made his way up to you by now, pulling your bag from next to you.

“Well I haven’t got anything else to drive and we’re both too poor to take a train all the way up there” you bit the inside of your cheek in thought, not noticing the way a smile pulled at his face when he saw that expression on you. You always wore that face when backed into a tight spot in chess and he adored it.

“We can take the Bel Air..” you offered hesitantly. He was as taken aback by the suggestion as you were.

“It’ll be okay babydoll, this thing is more resilient than it looks” he reassured, nodding towards the sad looking beetle. You smiled weakly.

“I’m sure it is, but my dad didn’t get all that work done on a car as beautiful as his just to have it sit in the garage” He smiled gently, grabbing your hand and giving it a soft squeeze.

“Only if you’re sure,” you returned the squeeze to his hand.

“I am, besides, you’ll still be the one driving 7 hours, and it’ll be more like 8 if we keep standing here being sappy” you teased, swinging your interjoined hands pointedly. He rolled his eyes dramatically, pulling his hand back and raising them in mock offense.

“Sorry princess, I thought we were having a moment”

He defended, you laughed and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the garage. The garage door groaned from months of abandonment as you tugged it up. The Bel Air was hidden beneath a tarp to keep on from collecting dust. (L/n) was scribbled on the tarp in your fathers handwriting.

“You ought to do the honors, I’m dressed up too nice to get all dirty,” Benny teased, gesturing to his usual outfit of tight jeans and a dark shirt with a large belt buckle, his jacket and hat undoubtedly still in his beetle, he wouldn’t go to the store, let alone out of state without them. You rolled your eyes at his comment but tugged the tarp off, coughing involuntarily as dust took to the air.

The Bel Aid stood proudly uncovered, its teal paint job glittering in the golden light of dawn. It looked like not even a day had passed since your father had taken it on his last long daily drive, he always claimed that even beautiful cars were meant to be driven and deserved to see asphalt every day, not just on Sundays. You climbed into the white leather drivers seat and turned the key that your father always left in the ignition. He knew he’d lose it anywhere else. The car purred pleasantly to life and you shifted it into neutral, allowing it to slowly roll out of the garage and into the driveway. Benny stood smiling at you, thumbs in his belt loops. You blushed under his gaze,

“Better go collect your crap, we haven’t got all day” You teased, reusing his words from earlier. He let out a soft chuckle and obediently retreated to get his bag. You hopped out and shoved your own luggage into the trunk before he added his and slammed it shut.

“Key’s in the ignition” you said, trailing your finger over the bumped detailing. He lifted your chin gently,

“Hey, you know it’s not a big deal to take a train, one of us is going to win down there anyways we can make up for the losses and still break even.” You smiled at his kindness, meeting his dark eyes that rarely he’d such genuine care.

“I know, but this car deserves to be driven and I can’t be the one to do it right now” you admitted, leaning your face lightly into his hand that had moved from your chin to cup your cheek. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile

“Okay babydoll” and with that the car was loaded and you began your journey down the road leaving your home with Benny’s car still parked out front in the rear view.

The drive was relatively uneventful. Your early start had allowed you to skip out on most of the morning rush. Soon enough you found yourself with nothing but open road in front of and behind you, stretching into each respective horizon. Benny didn’t change the radio station from the one your father always listened to, which you appreciated. The familiar blues station lulled you to sleep, just as it had when you were younger and your father had driven you countless miles to chess tournaments. In the same way you always curled up on that bench seat next to your father, you did so next to Benny.

Not that he would ever tell you, but your body curled against his, groggily reaching for the lapels on his jacket made his heart all but stop beating. You arrived later than planned because he had taken special care to avoid the potholes and drive slowly so as not to wake you. When you finally did pull into that gravel driveway the bumpiness woke you, with the windows open you immediately noticed the change in the air. Dry New York air had been replaced with the crisp smell of the pine that surrounded the cabin and the distant sea salt taste of the ocean.

“It’s 3.30, we got stuck in traffic for a bit but you were out like a light” you mumbled some form of acknowledgment as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, taking in your surroundings. The car had pulled to a stop in front of a simple cabin, nothing luxurious by far. When you heard “cabin” you had expected a log cabin or a homey little cottage, this was more of a shack, but a charming shack. Probably a converted hunting cabin.

“I know, it’s no Graceland but it’s free” he defended, seeing you take in the shelter before you. You smiled,

“Its perfect, Benny” it took a hard shove of Benny’s shoulder to get the door to open. Beyond the door lay a room covered almost floor to ceiling in wood, the hardwood floors were attractive but lost their charm when they continued up the wall as paneling. They met the ceiling where the old popcorn ceiling was starting to turn yellow, presumably from water damage, you couldn’t imagine that roof had gotten any love in the past 15 years at least. On one side of the room was a fireplace that looked as though it hadn’t been touched in the last century and above it the bust of a buck sat proudly over the mantle. There was a single leather couch facing towards it which someone had taken care to cover with a clear plastic sheet to keep the dust off. On the other side of the room sat a kitchen of sorts. Two linoleum counters with a single burner stove over an oven and an icebox layered in dust decorated the room. There sat a small table with two lawn chairs as a makeshift dining set between the two perpendicular counters. You tossed your suitcase unceremoniously onto the table before making your way over to a door you spotted near the fireplace. It revealed a small broom closet with the necessities you had hoped to discover.

“Do you want to wipe down the furniture or mop? I’ll give you first pick” you questioned, turning to Benny with a rag in one hand and a mop in the other.

“Is neither an option?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck. You rolled your eyes.

“Only because you drove the whole way you’ll get out of the cleaning, but you’re on first food run, I’m starving” he chuckled,

“Alright, I’ll drive all the way into town since you drive such a hard bargain” he sighed, grabbing the keys off a nail by the door where he had only moments ago retired them.

“The mop is here if you’d rather clean with me and then eat whatever mummified carcass is in that icebox” you only half joked, nodding towards the dusty cooler with a teasing smile.

“Point taken, I’ll be back in an hour or so, don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,”

“How could I? You’re taking all the stupid with you,” he smiled and with that left. You were alone with the house now and had quite the work cut out for you.

So you got to work, you dusted and wiped and swept and mopped until every stupid wooden plank gleamed and every joint in your body ached. All the dust and grime had been transferred from the house to you. In your cleaning process you had stumbled across what you assumed would be Benny’s room and a connected bathroom that wasn’t nearly as gross as you expected it to be.

Thanks to the years of odd jobs cleaning houses in the summer for your neighbors (and the cabin itself being the size of a shoebox) the cleaning was complete in just under an hour. You decided to celebrate your small victory with a well deserved shower, feeling as disgusting as the main room had looked upon entry.

Benny pov

I pull gently back in front of the house, careful not to spin the tires on the gravel. I get out and tug the large paper grocery bag from the passenger seat with me. The overly greasy smell of cheap Chinese food engulfs my senses and I push roughly through the door. It gives in a lot easier than the first time.

The smell of bleach is the first thing I notice, then the gleaming floors and clean surfaces about the room. She really could work wonders in an hour. I set the bag of food on the table, pulling out different containers.

“Honey, I’m home” I call jokingly towards the main bedroom where I assumed she must be, probably sleeping. When there was no response I called again,

“(Y/n)?” Silence. I finish unpacking the food and make my way toward the bedroom, the door is slightly ajar. I push in and noticed she had cleaned that room as well, different sheets now adorned the bed. However, my attention was pulled from the bed towards the opposite door where the sound of a shower running mixed with her voice softly singing along to a melody I vaguely recognized. I sat gingerly at the end of the bed and just listed fo her for a moment before I heard the water stop. I jumped up nervously as the door swung open. She stood in the doorway in a dark blue towel with her wet hair cascading down her shoulders.

“When did you get back?” She asks, clearly taken aback by my presence.

“Just a minute ago, I called you to say that food was here and I didn’t get an answer” I replied, she nodded awkwardly not meeting my eyes. Sensing her discomfort I excuse myself, telling her that food is ready whenever she is. I step out of the bedroom cursing myself for acting so weird in front of her. I decided to busy myself finding plates and silverware in the kitchen while she got dressed.

I see me padding across your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

“I had to borrow a shirt from you, all mine were too nice to bother wearing around the house” her voice from behind me caught me by surprise. I turned around and sure enough she was there dressed in one of my v neck shirts and a loose pair of jeans, barefoot on the cold floor, probably why I didn’t hear her coming up to me. I smile,

“Looks good on you, dollface” She blushes like she always does when I call her that. I loved seeing this girl who prides herself on being collected become a flustered schoolgirl before my eyes from a simple pet name. However, something about seeing her there, in this shared space, wearing my clothes with her keys on the hook and her old shirt hanging from the bedroom door made me feel like a flustered schoolgirl too. There was something so foreign and domestic about it.

“I didn’t know what you liked, so I got it all” I mentioned, gesturing to the numerous containers spread on the table behind me. She smiled,

“Don’t tempt me like this in the future, I’ll eat all your food” she laughed, taking her seat across from me. I only smiled in response, passing her one of the plates I had found in the cabinets. We both began greedily shoveling food onto our plates and down our throats, hardly stopping to breathe let alone talk. It hadn’t really occurred to me how hungry I was until now but we had driven through the day without stopping for lunch. I watched her as she swallowed a large mouthful of lo mein, eyes shut in pure bliss and I couldn’t help but smile. She opened her eyes and gave me that lopsided grin when she saw me staring,

“What are you lookin at?” She snapped jokingly. I chuckled,

“The sweet and sour sauce mustache you’ve got going for you” I replied, biting into my egg roll. She grabbed a napkin wiping over her face but missed a rogue spot on her cheek. I reached over wordlessly and grabbed her chin, wiping the spot away with my thumb. The action was thoughtless but only when I was standing there, leaned over the table with my hand on her face, those big “deer in headlights” eyes looking at me did I realize our position. I felt neither of us breathing for that moment. I quickly pulled back and cleared my throat.

“I can get the dishes taken care of” I offered, standing up and collecting the empty containers in the original paper bag.

“No, no” she argued, standing up, “I can get it, you go take a shower, you haven’t gotten a moment to relax since this morning” she pulled the plates and silverware from my hand making her way to the sink. I considered debating with her that the majority of my day had been spent sitting but I knew how stubborn she could be when she had decided on something, so I just thanked her and excused myself. Hoping a shower would clear my head a bit.

Turns out it would do just the opposite. I made a mental note to thank her later for locating the hot water tap after searching in the towel closest only to find the mirror already fogged with the quickly heating cascade of the shower I’d turned on a moment earlier. Stripping and stepping under the water I was met with the engulfing scent of her. Her honey shampoo, which I had only vaguely noted when in close proximity to her, now wrapped me like a blanket. God, I just can’t get away from her and it was surely going to be the death of me.

#readerinsert #reader insert #benny watts x reader #benny watts #the queens gambit #queens gambit

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multicarinata · 1 year ago

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ESSENTIALLY I see "literature", as a tool, as providing new vocabulary and perspectives by which to frame experience, without changing the standpoint from which you perceive that experience. as soon as you start modifying your own standpoint or responding emotionally That's Rhetoric Instead... obviously the two are interjoined in Books but I've been trying to pin down a definition of the "literary" since reading Kendall's paper on patho2 not being it, for which I think this is useful and B) helps explain why said game's allusive ambiguity is the reason it is Not It. (some of the dialogue for sure is, running into kendall's failure to identify the text, outside the scope here) Anyway the literary can be resonant, in the sense of providing a new way of thinking about your experience, and/or related to, as in the james baldwin quote abt (for example) dostoevsky, and those are separate things. the former being what I find particularly valuable in media and especially the corpus that's elevated as "literature"

had some profound thoughts about literary resonance that left me standing around smiling into the middle distance in the shower. on my lunch break even

#I got goat cheese :-) and read something that blew me out of the water (pun intended) c.f. something vitally important in my life

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remmysbounty · 4 years ago

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chapter 1

Hello my boos!! Here’s the next chapter of my choose your own adventure fic!! Just like the prologue, the scenarios you have to vote on will be at the end… ENJOY

The only thing that surrounded you was his voice. Even with the way your whole being went into autopilot, trying to figure out where the call originated from and searching for Sam, it was only his words that filled you with the strength to even move.

By now his words were seared into you, worming their way into your heart and your mind, and yet playing the message on repeat almost made you believe that Joaquin was still very much there with you.

The warmth, the sweetness, for some reason reminded you of his eyes, especially when the two of you first met.

You laughed out as Bucky continued to drag you down the hallway, “James,” you squeeked, “Where are we even going?”

“You’ll see kid,” he looked back as he pulled you with him, to the point where you ran into his back when he suddenly stopped in front of an apartment door, “I have a feeling you’ll like this.”

Just standing out there, you knew what it was, “James,” you poured slightly, “I don’t need a new place-“

A single ice cold, yet playful, stare sent your way shut you up, and as you sighed softly, Bucky opened the door for you.

“I have a feeling you’ll like it,” James started as you walked in, “And besides it’s not like you’d be living by yourself-“

The world seemed to dissipate once you saw him.

You’d seen him before, the soldier that Sam took under his wing, quite literally some times. But now seeing the two of them stand at the other side of the apartment you weren’t sure if you wanted to punch Bucky and then proceed to walk out the door or stay a little longer and see what those two cooked up.

“There you are!” Sam proceeded to bring you in for one of his usual bear hugs, “Was Grandpa here the reason it took the two of you so long?”

You chuckled and sent a soft stare at Bucky before shaking your head and stopping any argument between those two before it even started, “For once, it was all me, Sammy. So, what exactly am I doing here?”

The vibrations running up your arm brought you back to the present. With a sigh of relief you found Sam finally calling you back, only to be filled with worry when you got a good look at him on your screen.

Your voice became soft, “Sammy? What happened?”

Sam wasn’t sure if it was your eyes or how for once your voice had quieted to a whisper instead of steeling itself that scared him even more. You were good at your job, always able to separate your emotions from doing the job, but now- well how could you?

“It was an ambush,” he started slowly, “we got separated pretty quickly and from what I could tell Torres had tried to get himself to a safe spot before fighting back, but-“ the pain radiated throughout his face clearly as he breathed in just a bit deeper, “I’m so sorry-“

You shook your head, not bothering to trust your voice at the moment.

You heard another deep breath come from your phone, saw another painful face, before Sam continued, “They got him, and the second they did- well they left. For once,” Sam paused, almost unsure if he should say his next words, “I think Torres was their target.”

Any professionalism that you felt you had quickly disappeared and Sam could only watch as you broke. He was terrified, only being able to watch the way you begged, to anyone really, that what Sam said wasn’t true.

“No, no… not Joaco,” your voice breaking every couple of syllables. It was so soft, a whimper, that Sam upped the volume on his phone to be able to listen to you properly as you disappeared off the screen.

Then, “NO!”

The previous night hit you like a brick wall. It was real- all of it.

You laughed softly as Joaquin continued to tell his story. It was starting to get pretty late but not too late, as you took another sip from your drink. Joaquin had pulled out the aguardiente from where it sat in one of the shelves you usually never used. Only as the heat ran down your throat and filled your stomach, you realized that wasn’t what made you feel drunk.

Your eyes drifted down. You were practically in his lap by now, even with all the other space available around you. His brown eyes watched yours, only to somehow beckon you to meet them.

It was his eyes.

They called to you, they always did.

The silence was strong, but the calling was even stronger.

Your hands reached him first, moving as if they were detached from your body. They ran up and down his chest, your eyes following them, then reaching up to his shoulders where they stayed just for a couple of seconds.

His hands were now on you too, just waiting for yours to move once again. They seemed to move together with yours, interjoined even if they weren’t touching.

Your eyes finally reached his. The way they called to you prompting you closer and closer.

His breath mixed in with yours. His scent filling your being, and bringing you a warmth that no alcoholic drink ever could. He was so-

Any warmth that you had disappeared, leaving you with a cold that made your bones ache and your body tremble.

“We have to-“ you started rapidly as your mind worked in hyperdrive now, “There must be something from the message- but if not there’s the- and the-“

Sam called to you, repeatedly, but not a single ounce of annoyance or frustration in his voice, “I need you to breathe, and then repeat your thoughts, slowly.”

Nodding your head you started again, “I need any device history you can get me, and also all the geographic info from the area the two of you went to. You know what, send me the whole file actually, especially photographs, I need photographs.”

There was something about seeing you so focused, so energized, that made Sam want to smile, or maybe cry from happiness, so with a single nod Sam got to work on your assignment for him.

——👇

VOTE:

scenario #1: reader continues on this path

scenario #2: Joaquin is able to send reader a message (a la Natasha in Age of Ultron)

——

Joaquin Torres: @pascalpanic @letoatreiides @booksmusicteaandanimals @cooluncleboba @autumnleaves1991-reads @marvelouss-marvel @mischiefmanaged71 @the-and-sign-anon @barzal-burakovsky @young-romanoff @xbuchananbarnes

choose your own adventure fic: @pascalpanic @sweetlemonade1 @sharkbait77 @minnie-lanterns @mischiefmanaged71 @hoennislands @1940sbuckybarnes @parkjammys @7crowsinadress @reluctantlyresponsibleadult @iamthebeth

#remmys bounty #remmys writings #remmys birthday #remmys choose your own adventure fic #joaquin torres x you #joaquin torres imagine #joaquin torres x gn!reader #joaquin torres x reader #joaquin torres

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taegyu-blue · 4 years ago

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Interjoined hands 💕

#txt fluff #txt #txt taegyu #taegyu #txt taehyun #taehyun #beomgyu #txt beomgyu #tomorrow x together #tomorrow by together

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 5 years ago

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Banished (Part 49)

~Banished~

Word Count: 11K (Someone stop me, I have a problem)

~Master~

*Based off episode 4x04 of the 100, A Lie Guarded*

Previously...

You snapped your head to her, not stopping the tears as Clarke swallowed back her fears. “Ok.” She began. “Ok…. I think- I think your dad was infertile before you were conceived. I think- I don’t think your dad is your real father.” You didn’t know what to do, you could only stand there listening to Clarke tell you the one thing you were absolutely terrified of. Clarke’s heart ached for you. “I’ll get my mom. She’ll know.” You didn’t feel yourself let go of Clarke, but suddenly she was gone and you were all alone. You could feel your breathing start to increase, your head spinning as you feel to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest and letting out every sob you can that racked through your body. You couldn’t breathe, but you couldn’t focus on that because there was one thought rushing through your head.

Who the hell were you?

—

It had been a few days since you found out the truth about your identity. Well, the truth putting it lightly. Clarke had gone and gotten her mother just like she said, and when they came back you were right where Clarke had left you, tears dried on your face as Abby kneeled in front of you.

“Y/N? Y/N, look at me.” She took her flashlight, shining into your eyes to see you were responsive, which in Abby’s eyes was great. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” She started snapping in front of your face and shortly you were becoming aware, your breathing speeding up as you squirmed. She put her hand on your cheek, getting you to look at her as she tried to calm you.

“I’m fine!” You screamed out, burying your head in your knees. Abby took a step back, giving you space as Clarke watched you with worry.

“Y/N?” Clarke asked as you slowly uncurled yourself, remaining on the ground as you looked at the Griffin’s standing above you.

“Show her.” You whispered, your throat hurting a little from your last outburst. Clarke nodded, picking up the tablet that laid on the ground next to you. Her mom was furrowing her brows as she looked between you and tablet, unaware of the secret you had just learned. As soon Clarke had the file pulled up again Abby took the device, reading over the words. “He’s not my dad.” You told her as your eyes locked on the ground. She didn’t say anything, opting to stay quiet as she turned around. You took a deep breath, pushing yourself up onto your already shaking legs. “Abby. Did you know?”

It was a dumb question, sure, but Abby was a doctor. She had access to medical records and no doubt could’ve known.

“I didn’t.” She assured you. It made sense, you thought. To Abby, your parents were no one, just another couple who apparently couldn’t have a child together, yet did.

“Is it possible he was tested after Y/N was born?” Clarke asked her, trying to disprove her theory but Abby ruined your hopes. He would’ve been tested before you were born and Abby had no idea what happened. You didn’t want to hear much more.

You tugged Bellamy’s jacket closer to you stumbled out of the room, hearing Clarke call after you but you didn’t stop as you made your way recklessly through the empty halls of the Ark, grabbing onto walls to support you until you wound up at a familiar door.

Bellamy’s door.

You knocked on it, not stopping until it swung open. You didn’t bother waiting for an invite in as you pushed inside, running your hands through your hair and pulling. Bellamy didn’t know what you were doing there, especially in the middle of the night, looking completely distressed. He wasn’t going to turn you away though. He slammed his door, coming over to you and grabbing your hands to lead you to the bed.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked you, seeing you bite your trembling lip. He thought for a moment you’d say you were fine, just like you always do to not show your emotions. But this time you didn’t. Instead you shook your head and fell into tears, collapsing onto Bellamy. He wrapped his arms around you and held the back of your head. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Y/N. I’m here. I’m always here.”

When you finally stopped crying, you told him everything, from the start of the voice in your head all the way to your father, well, the man you thought was your father. Bellamy didn’t know what to say. You’ve never cried like this, at least not in front of him. It hurt.

“I thought I knew who I was. My head is all sorts of crazy and I thought the one thing I still had after all these years of losing my sanity was that I still had my name.” You let out a bitter laugh as Bellamy reached up to wipe away your tears. “If I’m not Y/N Y/L/N, then who am I?”

“You’re Y/N.” Bellamy told you, getting you to look up into his brown eyes. “The Y/N who has been a pain in my ass since the moment we opened the dropship doors. The same Y/N who saved me from a panther despite hating me.” You let out a genuine laugh, Bellamy’s heart soaring at the sight of your smile, despite the tears drying on your face. “You’re the Y/N who believed in me countless of times when I didn’t deserve it. That’s who you are. A name means nothing.”

You stayed quiet, both of you looking at each other intensely as you cracked another smile. “I didn’t hate you.” You whispered, earning a look of confusion from Bellamy. “The panther. I didn’t hate you, even if you had almost let me die afterwards.” He rolled his eyes, happy to see you could sort of joke after your breakdown. The feeling didn’t last long though as your face fell again, looking down to your hands as you played with your fingers. Bellamy stopped you, reaching forwards and grabbing both of your hands as you continued to stare. “I never hated you.”

“That’s good.” He told you as you looked at him through your eyelashes, seeing him now being the one to look at your interjoining hands. “Because I never hated you too.”

“Well, I never gave you a reason too.” He heard you sniffle as you wiped your tears onto your shoulder.

“That’s fair.” Bellamy took a deep breath, unknowingly squeezing your hands a little tighter. “What I’m trying to say is,” He looked up, a mistake really as his words were caught on his tongue. The 3-word phrase he wanted to say seeming too daunting for the moment after your breakdown as he settled. “I care about you.”

You tried to ignore the way you longed for Bellamy to say the words you were too frightened to say. “I care about you too.” You whispered. You stayed in Bellamy’s room that night.

Now, almost a week since that night, you barely left your room and when you did, you were often in Bellamy’s room where you had continued to spend most of your nights as well. Bellamy never minded, instead he sought comfort in the knowledge you went to him for comfort. He knew he had fallen for you, but he was only falling more every time he woke up and saw you lying next to him, your eyes closed peacefully as your chest moved slowly up and down in your sleep.

This morning, Bellamy woke up earlier to see you asleep next to him and he pushed himself up on his elbows to peer down at you. He was silent as to not wake you, his focus shifting from being aware of your closeness to your warmth. Your hair fell into your face as you moved a little, completely unknown to the fact Bellamy was watching you with a smile. He brushed the hair out of your face, his thumb tickling your cheekbone as you started to wake a little, eye slowly fluttering open to see Bellamy’s brown orbs staring back at you. It warmed your heart to see them first thing in the morning.

Bellamy’s hand still playing with your hair tucked behind your ear. “Were you watching me sleep Blake?” you joked, pulling the definitely-not-made-for-two-people blanket closer to you.

“Depends.” He mumbled, making you cock your head. “Would that be weird?” Your face scrunched into a laugh as Bellamy joined you, letting his head fall lightly onto your shoulder before he heard your laughs slowly stop and your hand come up to his hair, gently running through it as Bellamy pulled back enough to look at you. Your eyes were zoned out and staring off in space. “What are you thinking about?”

“Hmmm?” you asked, pulling yourself back to this moment, Bellamy laying above you as you smiled. “Nothing. I’m just enjoying this. Us.” Bellamy nodded, letting another smile spread onto his face as you both just stayed there in close proximity to each other, feeling the other breathe as your thoughts got away again. “Bell, what are we?” you blurted out, tired of this game you were playing with your feelings. You needed a constant in your life and you needed it to be Bellamy.

Bellamy knew what you were asking, the same question he had been asking since he’s feelings began to get out of hand and you became the person on his mind more than everyone. “What do you want to be?”

You didn’t respond with your words. Instead, you pushed yourself upon the bed, your lips against Bellamy’s perfectly as you show him what you wanted. Bellamy kissed back eagerly, his free hand not holding himself up went around your waist as he slowly moved you back down to the mattress, hovering completely above you before pulling away. You breathed heavily, your hand moving to hold Bellamy’s cheek as you looked into his eyes again with a smile. He let out a soft chuckle, turning his head slightly to kiss your palm.

“I guess that answers my question.” He mumbled into your skin as you bit your lip, letting your eyes close in bliss. Your worry that Bellamy wouldn’t want the same was for nothing because here you both were, no distractions and finally, officially-

“Wait, this means we’re dating right?” you clarified, realizing even as amazing as the kiss was, you needed a definitive answer.

Bellamy’s face faltered, only sending that worry right through you again. “Dating? I thought we just agreed to be enemies?” Confusion hit you for a second before Bellamy smirked and you relaxed.

“Oh, you think you’re funny, huh?” Bellamy shrugged, making you roll your eyes fondly and push him off you. “Fine then, no girlfriend for you.”

The joking stopped as soon as Bellamy heard you say those words. “Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?” You stopped pushing him away, your hands on his chest as you smiled to him and nodded. You could feel his heart beat against your palms as he let out a breath of relief, falling into you and kissing you again. You laughed against the kiss while feeling him on top you. The last few minutes felt like a dream to you and with the end of the world barely a few months away, it was a dream you wished you could stay in for longer.

“Bellamy!” A pounding came at the door as you and Bellamy jumped having not expected an interruption. “Bellamy get a move on!” You realized it was Raven at the door, her poundings getting louder as you turned to Bellamy for an explanation. He too was confused for a minute before sighing.

“I’m scheduled for a hunt today.” He told you and you deflated a little, wanting to spend time in bed with your now boyfriend. He turned to the door. “Give me a minute!”

“Now Bellamy!” Raven shouted back as you giggled, feeling Bellamy bury his head in the crook of your neck disappointedly.

“You better go.” You whispered in his ear, feeling him nod but not move. “Bell, I’m serious! Harper was told me a while ago that when Monty and her started dating, Raven walked in on them post sex. The girl has no chill when it comes to getting work done.” Bellamy chuckled against your neck at your story, pressing a soft kiss against your skin before Raven started knocking again.

Bellamy groaned and sat up, looking down at you laying in his bed with your hair all messed up. Despite the past couple of days for you, you looked happy and Bellamy was glad he could help with that. Raven had one big knock as Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Alright I’m going!”

He got off the bed, changing his shirt and almost leaving before you stopped him. “You forgot your jacket.”

“You’re not going to wear it?” He asked. Since Bellamy let you borrow it to sleep that day in the office, you had worn it more than he had.

“I would, but I’m not the one leaving.” You stood up, grabbing his jacket and throwing at him. Bellamy caught it, hiding his smile as he shrugged it on. Raven’s knocking finally stopped as you chuckled and fell back on the bed.

“You could come with me, you know. It’ll only be a few hours.” He offered, watching you prop yourself up on your elbows. He knew your answer would be no based on the look on your face. He shook his head, telling you it was fine before you even said anything.

“Be safe okay? Don’t get your ass in any trouble.” You joked, hearing his laugh as he walked back to the bed to you, making you sit fully up as he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you one last time. You hummed into the kiss before he pulled away. “You know, I think I could use to this boyfriend and girlfriend thing.” You teased as pushed him to the door.

“I think I could to.” Bellamy agreed. Right before he got to the door, he stopped and slowly turned to look back at you burying yourself under his covers again. He was going to do it. You already took the first step, it was up to him to take the next. “Y/N?” You turned to him, seeing him fidget his hands as you furrowed your brows. “I love-“

‘Bellamy, let’s go!” He groaned, turning to glare at Raven through the door as he heard you laugh.

“I told you. The girl’s relentless.” Bellamy cracked a smile but he didn’t laugh. “What we’re you going to say?” You asked, trying to think of the possibilities of a sentence starting in ‘I love’ and not ending in ‘you’. Bellamy hesitated, but shook his head, telling you he’ll tell you later. You gave him sad nod before he left the door and you heard Raven continue to yell at him outside.

You settled into the bed again, looking up at the ceiling as you closed your eyes and smiled to yourself.

“I knew you loved him.” Your eyes shot open and you looked around the room. It was empty, just like you had thought when you realized the voice was back. Only this time it wasn’t the same man it had always been.

You put your elbows on your knees, burying your head in your hands and closed your eyes. The voice was familiar, but given its unexpected arrival, you weren’t paying attention enough. “You’re just a voice in my head.”

“I’m not just a voice.” This time you knew it. And what more, it wasn’t only in your head. You picked your head up, looking at the chair in front of you to see Lexa sitting back with her legs crossed in front of her.

“Lexa.” You whispered. She nodded, smiling softly at you. You paced around the room, ecstatic and unbelieving in the fact Lexa was right there. “I knew I saw you! I thought I was going crazy! I thought the flame-“ You stopped yourself, grabbing the back of your neck as you realized you were in fact having a conversation with someone who’s dead. “You’re still in my head.”

“I am, yes.”

“It’s the flame, isn’t it? A side effect.” Lexa just kept smiling at you, answering you silently as you tried not to clench your fist. “I supposed the other voice, he’s in here somewhere too?” You knocked on your head to gesture, biting your lip as Lexa’s face fell.

“What other voice?” She asked, straightening in her seat as you furrowed your brows.

“The other one, I don’t know, some guy. He keeps calling me Skaikiler, telling me to listen to him, but that’s all he ever says.”

Lexa seemed to be pondering your situation as you watched her, hoping if Lexa knew anything about the flame, she’d know about these unwanted side effects “This man, have you ever seen him?”

“No, just hear him when I’m trying to sleep.”

“What does he sound like?”

“What?” Lexa came closer to you, worrying you with her urgency.

“His voice. What does he sound like?”

“I don’t know, deep voice, kind of rough, I guess?” you shrugged.

Her face turned stone and her eyes were boring into yours. “Sheidheda.”

“Who?”

“His name’s Sheidheda, the Dark Commander. He was the strongest, most likely why he’s able to reach you. Whatever you do, don’t listen to him.”

“Why? How do you know it’s him? Who is he?”

“Just don’t listen-“

Once again, your conversations were cut short by a knock on the door. You turned at the sound of Clarke’s voice. “Y/N?” You looked back at Lexa, but the room was empty and you were all alone again. “Are you in there?”

“Uh, yeah. Come in.” You called back. The door opened and you put on a fake smile for your friend.

“Did Bellamy leave already?”

“Just missed him.” You told her. In all honesty, Clarke and you hadn’t spoken much since the other night. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, it was you hadn’t gone out much. “Did you need something?”

“Well, I figured since Bellamy wasn’t here, it was worth trying to get you to come out.”

“Clarke-“

“It’s been a week Y/N. You can’t just hide in your room or Bellamy’s.” You didn’t say anything, looking down at the ground. Clarke sighed as she knew pushing you wasn’t going to do any good. “Just think about it, okay?” You listened to the door closed as you fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Lexa?” you called out in hopes she would come back.

You sat there for a couple hours, a few of the books Bellamy had stashed in his room keeping you occupied, but the time Bellamy was supposed to return had passed and you were getting antsy. Clarke was right. You couldn’t just hide in your room, that wasn’t who you were.

The camp was almost quiet as you walked outside, seeing a few people talking and others just hanging out. Clarke was talking to Riley as you walked around, taking in the fresh air.

“He’s awake!” Your head snapped around at Jasper’s yell. He was standing above the lake as everyone came out to look. Squinting your eyes, you went closer, feeling a laugh bubble up at the sight of Jaha floating in the middle of the body of water. “Hey, Jaha! It looks like you got floated!” Jasper shouted as he cupped his mouth for the man to hear.

“I see you’re keeping yourself busy, Mr. Jordan.” Jaha yelled his loudest from the lake.

Clarke moved next to you as she smiled. “Yeah, you were right.” You told her, nudging her arm as you listened to Jaha and Jasper laugh with each other. “This was definitely worth leaving my room for.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She said with an eye roll before talking to the whole camp. “Alright everyone, back to work!”

She was about to walk away before you grabbed her arm. “Is Bellamy back yet?”

“No, but it’s normal for hunting parties to go radio silent.”

“Wait, radio silent?” You knew Bellamy was late, but you didn’t know he lost contact.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” She told you as you dropped her arm, feeling barely better. She kept looking around the camp.

“What’s wrong. You’ve got that look on your face.”

Clarke sighed, running a hand over her face. “I feel useless. I'm stuck here in case anyone needs their cut bandaged and supervising the backup plan when I should be going to the island to make Nightblood.”

“Come on Clarke, that’s not true. You’re keeping everyone’s head on straight. Besides, you’re not a geneticist.”

“Neither is my mom.”

“But they have Raven. Computer code, human code. They’ll figure it out.” You shrugged. Abby, Raven and their group left this morning, Bellamy had been keeping you updated with Abby’s idea to create Nightblood and them leaving that morning just after he had.

“I’m serious Y/N.”

“And I am too.” You put your hands on her shoulders, shaking gently to get her to understand. “Becca’s made Nightblood before, if they can find out how then they can use Luna to make more. Everyone lives.”

“If they can figure it out before the radiation comes.” She mumbled under her breath as you sighed, knowing she’s right.

“Then I guess we better make sure the ship’s working.”

Clarke nodded, turning around to Riley behind her. “Riley? How’s it going with the ship?” She asked the boy who turned his attention to the two of you.

“We’re on schedule. We should have the radiation patch up before dark.”

You nudged Clarke with your shoulder again. “See. One less thing to worry about.” Even though the aspect of everything turning to shit was still high on your worries, it couldn’t be on Clarke’s.

Thunder boomed in the camp as you looked up behind you, dark gray clouds filling the sky. Everyone in the camp stopped at the sound, fear rising in everyone. “Alright, everyone inside, just like we practiced. Go!” Clarke shouted but you stayed rooted in the ground. Bellamy was out there. Clarke turned around, seeing you haven’t moved. “Y/N, let’s go!”

“But Bellamy-“

“Will be fine!” She finished, grabbing your arm and pulling you to the Ark. You let her, sparing glances at the gate. You knew she was right and Bellamy can handle himself, but how were you supposed to assume he can when he went radio silent?!

You were right behind Monty as you entered the ark, the boy stopping to close the door as you turned around, seeing Jasper moseying around outside with no care about the impending rain. “Jasper!” you shouted, grabbing Monty to stop the door.

“Jasper, come on!”

“Jasper what are you doing?!” Clarke shouted over your shoulder as you watched the clouds above you.

“You can’t live your life in fear.” Jasper tilted his head back and opened his mouth, ready for the rain that was seconds from falling. Monty took off, trying to save his best friend and you tried to grab him but he got away. Harper went after her boyfriend, pulling him back to the ship as the rain hit. You all ducked inside, watching as the rain fall onto Jasper, soaking him as he started to react, his eyes widening as he began gagging and fell to the ground clutching his throat. “The sky… is…” Jasper muttered as you listened, the thought of losing him high on your mind. “Falling!” He began laughing, the realization he was just messing with all of you hitting the group at once as you scoffed.

“What is wrong with you?” Clarke asked as you nodded in disbelief, turning away from Jasper’s dumb antics.

“It’s just rain! Not radioactive ash!” He told you all but none of you listened. “It’s just a joke!” As soon as Jasper was alone, he threw his hands up before letting them fall. “When did everyone lose their sense of humor?”

---

Kane sat at a table in Polis, the radio in his hand as he spoke to Abby on the other side as she rode a boat to Becca’s island. Abby told him all about Luna’s blood preventing the radiation from killing her. “Abby, if what you’re saying is right, Luna could be the miracle we’re looking for. I wish I were with you.”

“Me too. But you have to be there.” She reminded him. “Once we create this Nightblood serum, we’re going to have to distribute it very quickly and we need to be at peace for that.”

The door to the eatery Kane was in opened and Octavia stepped inside, murmurs from the other men filling the room as Kane looked up. “Abby, I have to go. Stay safe. Be in touch when you reach the lab.” Octavia approached the table as Kane put the radio away, taking a seat across from him at Kane’s orders.

“What did I do now?” She sighed.

Kane sat forwards in his seat, keeping his voice hushed. “Rumors of the Flame’s destruction are spreading. People on the streets are openly calling for the King’s head. Your choices have consequences.”

“Would you rather I kill Indra’s daughter?”

“I rather you didn’t kill.”

Octavia glared at him. “Our mission to keep Roan on the throne to buy time for the others to find a way to save us from the radiation. I’m doing that.”

“By decapitating an innocent boy?” Kane reminded her of the fake Flame thief.

“Everyone’s guilty of something.”

Kane shook his head, staring at the young girl in front of him. “There’s a darkness in you, Octavia. I know you’re still morning.” Octavia heard enough. She stood up, ready to leave to escape the topic of Lincoln but Kane kept talking. “Sit down.” A few people turned to look, their conversation having gotten louder as Octavia took her seat again. “You didn’t have to kill that boy. You didn’t have to kill Ambassador Rafel. And you didn’t have to kill Pike.”

“Pike got what he deserved.” She growled, but Kane shook his head.

“Justice and Vengeance are not the same thing.”

“To me, they are.”

Kane paused before sitting back in his chair knowing Octavia was lost. “Your decision making has grown increasingly questionable and I can’t have my people going rogue.”

“Rogue.” Octavia scoffed. “I’m a warrior.”

Kane disagreed with her, in shock of her way of thinking. “A warrior knows when not to kill. Lincoln taught you that. But you’ve seemed to forgotten.” A member of Roan’s guard entered; the other grounders not keen on Azgeda being there. He approached the table of the two Skaikru, looking towards Kane.

“Chancellor Kane, the King would like to see you.” Kane nodded to him as Octavia stood up.

He stopped her before she got far. “You’re no longer part of me security detail.” He told her and Octavia clenched her jaw. “I had Helios saddled for you. The ride home should do you good.”

“I’m not going anywhere before I talk to Indra.” She defied him.

“Suit yourself. She’ll be here soon enough.” Kane told her before following the grounder outside and to the King.

---

The boat docked at the island as everyone began to climb out. Abby pulled out her tablet and pulled up the map. “According to the map Thelonious had, the lab is in the middle of the island, 5 miles straight ahead.”

Jackson picked up a backpack and handed it to Raven, looking down at her limp. “You okay for that hike?”

“Try and keep up with me.” She told him, throwing the pack over her shoulder.

John Murphy looked at the island, a sense of discomfort coming over him. “Never thought I’d be here again.” Raven stood by his side.

“Then you shouldn’t have come.” She told him, sending a side glare. “You’re not fooling anyone. You’re still a dick.”

Luna and Nyko were the last ones off the boat, watching the Skaikru interactions carefully. “You’re doing the right thing.” Nyko spoke in a hush tone to Luna.

“They didn’t give me a choice.” She reminded him. Because of Luna’s blood she was valuable and because she was valuable, she wasn’t given a choice of helping or not, she was forced.

Nyko sighed and stepped in front of Luna. “These are good people Luna. I trust them and you trust me.”

“They think my blood will save them, Nyko.”

“Save us all.” He corrected.

Luna narrowed her eyes. “What do you think will happen if I tell them no?” She asked despite the fact they both knew the answer already. At Miller’s word, they followed the others onto the island. Emori led the way, bringing the group to what looked to be a boundary set with pillars before she stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asked the girl.

Emori hesitated. “ALIE’s rules. No Frikdreina past this line. I’ve never crossed it.”

“Frikdreina?” Jackson spoke up, needing the clarification most of them did.

“Mutants.” Emori gestured to her wrapped hand.

“I’ve never met a line I wouldn’t cross.” Murphy said as he smiled at Emori before taking the very first step over. Everyone started following Murphy’s lead except for Emori who still wasn’t sure about the idea of crossing the line. Only when Murphy stuck his hand out to her, inviting her in, did she finally cross the line.

Ears went on alert as they trekked up a hill and heard a buzzing. “What is that?” Miller asked the question on everyone’s mind. They looked up in the sky to see a drone hovering not far above them.

“We should run.” Emori told them all but no one listened.

“Why? What’s the penalty for crossing the line?” No sooner than the words left Raven’s lips did the drone start firing at them and a guard fell to the ground with a bullet in his head.

“Run!” Everyone shouted before taking off running. The drone kept shooting at them and Miller tried firing back but didn’t hit it.

“I thought you said ALIE was dead!” Murphy shouted as he ran with Emori next to him, their hands interlocked and dodging every time the drone fired to them.

“It must be automated!” Raven told him, finding it a struggle to run on her limp. Murphy let go of Emori’s hand, pushing her forwards as he reached Raven and swung her arm over his shoulder and helped her run.

“I got you!” The group kept running, trying to get out of the drone’s firing as they split up, Emori, Murphy and Raven taking cover behind a log. Murphy checked on his girlfriend, making sure she didn’t get hurt. “Emori, are you okay?” She nodded as they all panted.

Nyko and Luna were still running, both having split in a different direction than the others as the drone followed. “Luna watch out!” Nyko shouted as he yanked Luna back and used his body as a shield, taking several shots to his back as Luna cried out for him.

Miller started shooting down the drone, taking several shots as Nyko died in Luna’s arms. Miller finally hit the drone, sending it clattering to the ground away from them. Everyone let out a sigh of relief at the one less drone causing them danger. “Well, that took you ten shots.” Murphy ridiculed Miller’s shooting as Miller roll his eyes. “ALIE’s got tons of drones, who do you think’s gonna run out of bullets first?”

“Could we talk about why they’re still in the sky?” Miller yelled out, pointing at the drone on the ground.

Abby was bent with her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. She looked up to where the deceased Nyko and Luna were, only the latter wasn’t there. “Where the hell’s Luna?”

More drones filled the sky as the group shrunk behind their safeties. “They’re back!”

“We see that Jackson!” Miller snapped, pointing his gun up in the air, but not firing. “Okay, if we don’t find Luna, everyone we know is gonna die in a wave of fire.” Miller reminded everyone, trying to come up with a plan. “We split up. Murphy, Emori, Abby you go west. Wilson and Taggart you go east. Jackson and I take north. And Raven-” He turned to Raven, unsure what to do with the mechanic.

“I like the beach.” Raven offered, knowing she wouldn’t be of much use.

Miller nodded. “Stay under the trees and you’ll be safe. The rest of you do the same. We check in every ten.”

Raven glanced over to the drone, seeing the light flickering. “It’s still active.”

“One problem at a time, Raven. Lets move out!” The group spilt up per Miller’s directions. As Emori, Murphy and Abby walked, Emori was nervous. She looked around her frantically and tried to catch up with Murphy.

“We shouldn’t be in this forest, John. We need to cut our losses.” She said quietly for Abby not to overhear.

“Why?” Murphy asked, looking at a anxious Emori before he stopped her. “Hey. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Just trust me.” She whispered, watching Abby get further ahead of them. “There are worse things here than those drones. We’re safer at your bunker.”

Murphy shook his head. “It’s not stocked, I ate everything.”

“Then we restock it.” She tried to get him to see. “You said it was big enough for two.”

Abby turned back briefly, stopping when she realized the teens were not keeping up with her. “Is everything okay? We have to keep going.” She shouted back at them. Murphy and Emori exchanged a look before moving forwards, following the doctor.

---

Roan sat on the throne with a scowl as the doors opened to his guard leading in Kane. Kane walked in slowly, glancing around the empty room. “Is there a reason we’re meeting here? I would’ve thought-“

“Tell me the plan.” Roan interrupted him.

“The plan?

“It’s been 3 weeks since Y/N told me Praimfaya would once again destroy the world. Skaikru asked for time to find a solution. What do you have to show for it?”

“We’re still working on it.” Kane gulped, hoping to soothe the kings worries. “Hopefully, with enough time-“

“Enough!” Roan held his hand up to silence Kane who obliged. “Echo.”

At Roan’s command, Echo entered the room dragging a Skaikru guard with her as a hostage while another member of Roan’s guard had Bellamy, both of them gagged and hands tied together. Kane’s mouth fell open when he turned around. “Stephens, Bellamy are you alright?” Bellamy and Stephens were forced to their knees. Bellamy bit down on his gag as Kane asked Roan what was going on.

Roan stood up and approached the hostages. “Echo saw your people rebuilding your ship. She captured these two hunting in my woods.” He pointed to Stephens, “This one says it a shelter from the radiation.”

Kane looked at Bellamy, see the young man’s eyes hinting to tell Roan. “It’s a backup plan.” Kane told the King. “Nothing more.”

“He said that too, just before he told us you have a Nightblood.” Stephens looked ashamed as Kane glanced at him. “It’s a good thing the Flame’s been destroyed, or I’d be worried you’re planning an ascension.”

Kane thought about what to do, knowing Roan is losing trust in the Sky people. “You have to trust me. We discovered that Nightblood helps metabolize radiation. We're investigating ways to create it for everyone, turn everyone into Nightbloods so we can all survive.”

Echo narrowed her eyes. “Blasphemy. Nothing they tell us is true.” She said to her King, trying to get him to believe Skaikru is not to be trusted for Nightblood couldn’t be replicated.

“It’s not blasphemy! It’s science! If Nightblood could save lives, then we should use it.” For a second Roan looked like he was understanding, like he was going to give Skaikru another chance. But with the nod of his head, that chance slipped through Bellamy’s and Kane’s fingers as Roan had signaled for Echo to slit the throat of Stephen and with a draw of her sword, she had. “No! No!” Kane shouted as Echo pushed Stephen’s dead body over and Kane knelt down to him. Bellamy watched on, terrified of his own fate and thankful beyond relief that you hadn’t come with him like he offered for he didn’t know how things would’ve turned out if you were by his side as well.

“Warriors don’t share their secrets.” Echo said as guards came into the room, standing around Kane and Bellamy.

“Truth is the first causality of war.” Roan began. “If your motive’s were pure, you would’ve shared your plan with me. Our alliance is broken.” Echo smirked as Kane and Bellamy were horrified. “Skaikru and Trikru are the enemy.”

“What about them, sire?” One of Roan’s men asked about Bellamy and Kane, his hand on Bellamy’s neck.

“Hostages.” Bellamy was shoved forward. “Find Octavia and Indra. Kill everyone else.” Roan walked off as Kane and Bellamy struggled to get out of the grounders grasps as they were led to the cells against their wills.

---

You had been nonstop worrying about Bellamy since Clarke told you he’d been radio silent. You knew Clarke had a point in telling you hunting parties go silent, but you couldn’t help but think you should’ve gone with him, at least then you’d know if he was alright.

“I think this is the most I’ve seen you in a week.” Clarke said as she joined you in the dining room, having watched you tap your now empty cup against the table for the last twenty minutes. You didn’t say anything as she took the seat across from you. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” You told her. “I saw Lexa today.”

For a second, Clarke had forgotten about your side effects and your sentence had surprised her. She cleared her throat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And she spoke this time, not just standing there.” You admitted. Clarke nodded, feeling her stomach twist. She knew that she was the one to tell you not to hide your problems, but she didn’t know how much it would hurt to hear you got the chance to see her ex-girlfriend and she didn’t.

She tried to change the subject. “How’s it going with you and Bellamy.” She asked, knowing Bellamy had been by your side for almost the entire week.

You found yourself stop tapping the cup against the table, a small smile making way on your face that Clarke certainly caught. “Pretty good actually. Um, we’re dating now.”

Clarke was surprised. She’s watched you and Bellamy dance around your feelings for a while. “Wow. When did this happen?”

“This morning actually, right before he left.” You told her, looking down at the table.

“Well, congratulations.” She said and you nodded awkwardly, not know what to do. “Can I ask you something?” you picked your head up, looking to your friend and nodded. “You wanted me to take your name off the list. You still want that?” You knew happiness wouldn’t last long. It was naïve of you and Bellamy to start dating now. The world was ending and you were giving up your spot. How could you have been so stupid. “Y/N?”

“I want my name off.” You whispered. You knew it would break Bellamy, but you couldn’t take someone else’s spot and if that whole Nightblood mass production worked out, then you wouldn’t take someone’s spot regardless. If it didn’t… then he would just have to move on. He’d need to move on.

“Y/N.”

“I’m not taking someone’s spot Clarke.” She nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

“Alright, then let’s go change the list.” The two of you stood up, walking to the Chancellors office in silence, completely unaware of Jasper and Monty inside having found the list already. You were walking behind Clarke as she entered the Office, both of you stepping inside.

Monty’s eyes snapped from the list in his hands, the one that contained Clarke’s name and your name and not his own, to both you and Clarke in the entrance. “Clarke! Y/N! Wait!” He shouted but it was too late as both of you were covered in fire-suppression spray, the white foam covering your entire upper body as you stood in shock, not having expect that to happen.

“Really?” Clarke yelled at the two boys as you wiped your face with your hands, blinking a couple times before Clarke shoved a towel in your hands and you properly wiped down your face.

“We found your list.” Jasper said as he snatched the list from Monty’s hands and walked towards you both. “I guess we really know who matters to you now, huh?” Clarke began sputtering out Jasper’s name but Jasper wouldn’t let her get a word out. “You’re not God, Clarke. You don’t get to decide who lives and who dies.”

“The list is a backup, Jasper.” You shouted over him, getting his attention on you.

“And you! You’re on here too! In fact, you even took someone else’s spot. Yeah, yeah. How’s that for playing god?” Jasper spouted as he backed up, moving towards the speaker. “Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if I tell everyone?”

Your eyes widened as Monty saved your asses, jumping in Jasper’s way. “Jasper, no.”

“People have a right to know they’re working for nothing.”

David Miller rushed into the room, seeing the fire-suppression spray all over you and Clarke. “Is there a fire? Is everything okay?”

“Not for you. You’re not on the list.” Jasper said as he shook the list in the air.

David furrowed his brows. “What list?” Jasper took the distraction as he pushed Monty to the side and grabbed the intercom.

“Attention Arkadia. I have an announcement to make.” Jasper didn’t get to finish though because the second he grabbed the intercom you had jumped into action, pulling the shock lash off of Sgt Miller’s uniform and thrusting it at Jasper. He fell to the ground groaning as one of the other guards grabbed your arms, holding them behind your back and taking the shock lash from you. You didn’t fight them on it, not believing the fact you had just shock lashed your friend.

“Let her go.” Clarke ordered and the hands behind your back disappeared slowly. Clarke straightened herself out as she moved next to you. “He broke into the Chancellor’s Office. Lock him up.” Sgt Miller and the rest of the guards didn’t move, not knowing whether or not Clarke had the authority or not. “I’m acting on the authority of Chancellor Kane. Take him into custody.” Sgt Miller nodded and the guards pulled Jasper off the ground and brought him to lock up.

You hadn’t moved since you shocked lashed Jasper and Clarke put her hand on your shoulder to pull you out of your trance. You turned to Monty, seeing him kneel on the ground as you stepped closer.m“Monty, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t.” He held up a hand, stopping you from coming any closer and you listened. “Just don’t.” He moved by you, not sparing another glance as you turned to Clarke, seeing her looking distraught.

“I had to.” You told her and she nodded.

“I know.” She assured you. Jasper was going to tell Arkadia and that couldn’t have happened.

---

Something in Polis seemed different as Octavia climbed off Helios outside the building from earlier. There was no noise from inside, no one talking, or even anyone coming outside. She looked around, trying to find her mentor before entering.

She stopped as soon as she stepped inside. Warriors, Trikru Warriors, were slaughtered inside, the tables were knocked over and lined with blood as bodies laid everywhere. “Indra.” Octavia whispered, worried for her mentor’s safety. She turned over a woman looking exactly like her, and Octavia felt relief in knowing it wasn’t her. Someone moved in the corner as Octavia looked over to see a warrior in pain, but still alive. “What happened?” She asked him as she looked at his wound, knowing he wasn’t going to make it.

“Skairipa…” He mumbled when he realized who was in front of him. “They’ll be back for you. You need to run. Ice Nation is attacking Skaikru and Trikru. They’ll march on your camp tonight.”

“Where’s Indra?”

“Warning our people that the alliance is broken. This is war.” His speech slowed as he tried harder to live and breathe. His head dropped forwards as the pain became too much and the warrior died. Hearing voices just outside, Octavia ran out heading right back to Arkadia.

---

Since you shock lashed Jasper, the mood around camp had seemed to be going down. Monty walked out of the ark, glancing to you sat in front of the fire with your head practically buried in your hands before walking right past you, heading unknowingly to where Clarke was stood watching everyone.

“Monty…”

“Jasper’s fine.” He interrupted her before scoffing. “In case you care.”

“I do care, Monty.” She told him, already feeling bad how the day went. “Can we talk in private?” She asked. Monty paused before moving past her and Clarke inhaled thickly before after him. He brought her to a more secluded area, one where they couldn’t be disturbed. “Making the list wasn’t easy and I only had so many slots for engineers. You’re an apprentice and Jaha knows more about the ship.” She explained, beginning to list out reasons as to one person opposed to the other.

Monty scoffed, holding up a hand to stop her. “That’s what you think this is about? I get why you didn’t put me on the list, I might even agree with it. But its just, who are you? When did you become this person?”

“I haven’t become anyone.” She tried to tell him.

“The Clarke I know wouldn’t be arresting her friends.” He almost growled. “And Y/N shock lashing him?”

“She did what she had to!” Clarke defended you, not wanting Monty to blame you at all. She stopped herself, taking a calming breath. “Kane agreed that we needed to keep this quiet.”

“Kane’s not here. That’s just an excuse. You’re the one saying you live and Harper dies.” He reminded her, feeling protective for his girlfriend. “Y/N’s the one shock-lashing Jasper and you’re the one arresting him. You’re the one going too far and still using that same old justification. It’s all for my people.”

“It is!” Clarke yelled much louder than she wanted. She looked around, making sure no one heard her and luckily no one had. Monty shook his head, wanting to share the truth with everyone. “It’s too risky.”

Monty scoffed and made his decision. “Jasper was right. You’re not God.” He took off, leaving Clarke alone to mull over his words. Monty went straight to the rover, the sound of feedback calling your attention as Monty spoke. “I have an announcement to make. Clarke Griffin is lying to you.” Your eyes widened as you listened and stood up, seeing Monty was getting the attention of everyone around. “Arkadia will only save 100 people. Who thinks they made the list?” He pulled the list out of his pocket and everyone had stopped working at this point, moving closer as you made your way over to Clarke. “Abby Griffin. Eric Jackson.”

“Can we stop him?” You asked Clarke, knowing people were getting increasingly angry at Clarke.

She just shook her head as Monty continued to read, finally reaching Bellamy, Clarke and your name. “It’s already done.”

---

Raven stayed alone on the beach, keeping an eye to the sky in case another drone strike decided to make a surprise appearance. There were a few drone’s in the sky but they didn’t shoot at her. The drone just far enough out of her comfort run zone kept getting her attention, the machine was whirring and still blinking, telling Raven it was still alive.

“You can’t fly, but you can talk.” She mumbled to the drone, looking up to see another fly away. This was her chance. She ran out from behind the tree heading straight for the drone, but unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before the drones were back and shooting at her. She tried to backtrack but only managed to fall over, the drone strike continuing at her. She got back to the tree, pressing her back against it as she hid.

“Raven! Raven, are you okay?” Miller shouted over the radio as the shooting died out.

Raven groaned as she pulled the radio out of her pack. “All good here. Worry about your damn self.” She told him as she stared at the broken drone, trying to figure out how to get it. By the edge of the beach, Luna walked out of the trees right past Nyko as Raven saw her. “Luna no! You’ll get killed!” Luna spared her no attention, walking as if there was nothing to bother her as she stepped out of the boundary and the drones stopped aiming at her. Raven spoke into the radio. “Luna’s here. She’s heading for the boat.”

“Copy that. Do whatever you can to stop her, we’re on our way.” Miller told her and Raven took off. She ran towards the border, the drones firing just behind her as she ran as fast as she could with her leg. As soon as the boundary was in her reach, she dove and lost the drones behind her.

“Luna! I can’t let you leave, we need you!” Raven shouted as she pushed herself up, aiming a gun at Luna.

Luna however kept walking. “Heard that one before.” Raven shot at Luna’s feet as the girl finally stopped walking. When she turned around, Raven had her gun still drawn at her. “So, I am a prisoner.”

“Your blood could save everyone!”

“Do you really think you deserve to be saved?” Luna narrowed her eyes as both women stepped closer to each other.

“I know how you feel, but it won’t always be like this. You just have to keep fighting.”

“What if the fight is all we are? We torture, kill, betray, pretend we’re more than that just to make ourselves feel better, but it’s a lie.” Luna told her and Raven’s gun faltered just a little.

“What about Adria? Was she more than that?” Raven brought up the girl, remembering Luna caring for her as she died. Luna felt her stomach sink as she reminded Raven that Adria was gone. “But she was good, right? There are others out there like her. Don’t you want to give them a chance?” Raven lowered her gun and put it on the ground, showing Luna Raven meant no harm. “You’re not a prisoner. You have a choice, Luna.” The gunfire went off behind Raven as Miller came on the radio, telling of Jackson getting hit in the arm and how getting Luna to safety was the priority right now. “We need to help them Luna!” Raven said, holding the radio tight in her hand. “Please, I know what to do, but with my leg,” She gestured down to the brace on her leg, “I can’t do it myself.”

Luna took a second, looking back to the boat before knowing what the right choice was. “What do you need me to do?”

Raven explained everything about needing the drone so Raven could hack into it. As soon as the coast was clear, Luna took off as Raven yelled for her to go. Luna ran and dodged the shots being fired at her as Raven shot at the drone in the sky. Luna managed to grab the damaged drone, using the trees to hide her before she finally made it past the boundary to safety.

Raven took the drone from Luna, hearing her friends over the radio calling for help. “I just need to access its core programming.” Raven got to work, trying to hack into the drone. “They’re protecting ALIE’s facilities like guard dogs.”

“Well, can you stop them?” As Raven started to work, her head started pounding, a migraine occurring but she ignored it.

Abby, Murphy and Emori ran through the woods, looking for Jackson and Miller until they found them taking shelter. Murphy pointed his gun in the air, looking for any sign of a drone but came up empty. “I can’t see it!” He shouted to Abby.

“I’ll draw its fire.” Abby told him and soon as she said the words, she dashed out from the trees right out into the open.

“What are you doing?!”

“You’re going to get yourself killed!”

“When they come for me, shoot them!” She yelled before waving her hands in the air. “Hey! Over here!” She shouted. Murphy aimed the gun and the moment a drone appeared behind Abby, he pulled the trigger, only it didn’t fire.

“Shit.” He muttered and figured he was out of bullets. Abby turned around slowly, eye level with the drone and she thought it was over for her.

Until the drone fell out of the sky.

They all went silent, thinking about what could’ve happened. Abby pulled out her radio, her hand shaking as she spoke. “Raven? The drone just fell out of the sky. What happened?”

Raven looked down at the drone, the screen blinking to say the security measures were disengaged. “I happened.” She told them. “Now get your asses back to the boat, Luna’s here.” She didn’t wait for a response as she put the radio away, turning to Luna to see her staring at the boat. “Luna.” She called out for the girls’ attention. “It’s not your blood that defines you. It’s your heart.” Luna took in her words, sending Raven a nod to know Luna was in.

---

The camp had turned to chaos since Monty spilt the truth. Everyone was yelling at Clarke, saying how unfair it wasn’t up to Clarke to determine who can live.

“I didn’t survive the ice Nation just to die because you don’t think I’m good enough.” Riley spat at Clarke as you stood next to her, glaring at him.

Clarke was getting overwhelmed with the yelling, trying to defend herself. “Riley, you’re smart, but you were training to be a guard. We only need so many soldiers.”

He scoffed at her reasoning. “You’re saying Darcy is more qualified than me? She’s a trainee too and I’m a hell of a better shot.

“Look, I know this is hard to hear, but we needed to ensure the survival of the human race and to do that the list needed to be weighted towards young women who can have children.” Clarke explained, much like she had when you helped her with the list.

“Wait. It’s because she can have kids? How’s that fair?” Someone asked as you turned to scowl at the man.

“It’s not fair, it’s smart.” You defended Clarke, feeling her grab your elbow to pull you back.

Monty shook his head. “What about Harper? How come she’s not on the list?” He nodded towards Harper who agreed, looking between Clarke and you who apparently was the only person who could see Clarke’s struggle.

Clarke’s face softened. “There’s a chance she could be a drain on medical resources.”

Harper scoffed in confusion. “Well, I’m not sick.”

“Not yet.”

Monty caught onto Clarke’s thinking. “Your dad.” She mumbled to Harper, knowing of Harper’s father’s sickness. “Wait, you went into her medical records?”

“You’re condemning me for an illness I might have someday?” Harper asked, shocked this was how Clarke was deciding.

“I had to consider all variables.” Clarke explained.

“That’s rich for a person who put herself on the list.” Harper snapped at her and you bit your tongue, knowing no good would come out of you ‘helping’.

“And Bellamy Blake? Come on!” Someone yelled and suddenly you didn’t want to keep quiet anymore. “Even Y/N Y/L/N? She doesn’t deserve a spot!”

You clenched your fist, turning to look at the man who was speaking before Clarke was holding you back again and Jaha made way into the middle, but you didn’t even realize, too busy staring down the man who was severely intimidated by you now.

“Of course, Bellamy and Clarke should be included.” Jaha said, standing between you and the man. Your attention was only pulled away by the fact Jaha definitely did not include your name as he put his hands onto Clarke and your shoulders. “Strong leadership is essential for survival. You don’t like the list?” He turned to Monty, holding out his hand as Monty handed it over. “Consider it shredded. We can keep fighting each other and die, or we can work together and give everyone a shot at survival. It’s your choice.”

“Meaning what?”

“We hold a lottery.” Jaha went on. “Randomly choose the 100 people to survive, but you have to work for it. You don’t show up for assignments, you can’t be in the lottery, and when the time comes, we’ll collect names and draw.” You knotted your brows. There was no way this was going to end up great. “Good?” Jaha asked and everyone nodded except you and Clarke, sharing looks and you knew she caught on to the same dilemma you had. “Good. It’s settled. Then get back to work. Let’s get it done.”

Everyone started off, moving to help Jaha put up a radiation shield as you turned to Clarke. “I guess he’s Chancellor again.” You muttered, sending a look at Jaha’s back.

Clarke shook her head, moving to chase after Jaha. You stood in your place, listening to Clarke and Jaha take about how problematic a random list could be but you could focus on that.

Even Y/N Y/L/N? She doesn’t deserve a spot!

You didn’t even want a spot, but who were they to tell you that you didn’t deserve to live?

---

Helios was flying through the forest with Octavia on top him, turning back every few moments to see Echo and her riders getting closer.

“There she is! This way, we’ll cut her off!” Echo yelled as she led the riders through the forest. Octavia moved faster, trying to get away but it was no use for Echo did manage to cut her off.

Octavia caught sight of another pathway. “Yah!” She told Helios, leading him down the path as Echo chased after her again. Octavia was getting ahead, that was until she came to the top of a ravine, looking down to the water below as Echo emerged from the tree line. Octavia got off her horse, patting him to run away as he did.

“It’s over, Octavia. Don’t fight it. Roan wants you alive. Come quietly.”

“That’ll happen.” Octavia muttered with no plans to surrender.

“One in her leg.” Echo told the rider to her left. He nodded, drawing back his bow but Octavia beat him. She threw her knife, hitting him in the head and stopping him. Echo jumped off her horse as did the man next to her, both of them pulling out their swords as well as Octavia. They began fighting, Octavia taking the first swing at the rider before moving to Echo, fighting them both at once. She got a few cuts in on Echo, a few punches landing on Octavia as well before she sliced the man’s neck, cutting her enemies down in count. “It doesn’t have to be this way.” Echo told her as they circled each other, their swords drawn.

“It does.” Octavia panted. “You made sure of that.” Echo took the first swing this time, the fight starting up once again.

Echo swung.

Octavia ducked.

Octavia swung.

Echo ducked.

It went on, Echo finally getting the upper hand as she cornered Octavia to the edge of the cliff, the rocks slipping out from Octavia’s feet but she wasn’t going to lose. Octavia kept fighting, swinging her sword over and over much like Echo did, but Echo prevailed. Octavia’s sword broke in half, the pieces flying in different directions as Octavia’s eyes widened and the grip of Echo’s sword was punched into Octavia’s face, sending her backwards.

“I said he wanted you alive!” Echo told Octavia, both of them exhausted from their fight. Octavia caught sight of the dead riders’ sword, not far from her as she crawled on the ground. She grabbed the sword, gripping it tight as she stood up.

But she barely got on her feet before Echo thrusted her own sword right through Octavia’s stomach. Octavia stopped fighting, gasping out as Echo ripped the weapon from her stomach. Octavia brought a hand to her stomach to hold herself as she fell, backwards, right off the edge of the cliff.

Echo watched, peering over the ravine as she hit the water. “Yu gonplei ste odon, Octavia kom Skaikru.”

---

Since Clarke had him locked up, Jasper had been sitting in a cell all alone, sitting in silence before Clarke came in. He didn’t move, not even bothering to acknowledge she was there.

“I shouldn’t have locked you up.” Clarke admitted. “I thought it was the only choice I had.”

Jasper sighed. “It was the only choice you gave yourself. If you think you have the best idea, you convince people, not lie and lock them up.” He gestured to the cell around him.

“That doesn’t matter now. Monty read the list over the radio, so everyone knows everything now.”

“What a shame.” He said, finally looking over to Clarke. “I thought you were giving Jaha a run for his money there. Jaha lite.” He chuckled at his joke.

Clarke nodded, knowing she deserved that. “You know, he used to be everything I hated. Maybe he was keeping us together.”

Jasper sat up, chuckling some more. “When Jaha seems reasonable, it’s time to reassess.”

Clarke gave him a tight-lipped smile, turning to the wide-open cell door. “You can go.”

Jasper sighed, reaching for his jacket as he stood up and walked past Clarke. “You know, someday when this is all over, you’re gonna realize that foam bit was funny.”

---

With the threat of the drones no longer looming over their heads, the group on ALIE’s island were making great progress on finding the lab. After they stopped for the last time, the lab was just through the trees. They finished the distance, seeing the giant concrete structure as they stopped.

“Hey, I have a question.” Murphy sighed, tilting his head. “ALIE had a security system to protect this thing, right? Any idea what she was protecting it from?” No one had an answer.

“Let’s hope we don’t find out.” Abby said as she took the first steps to the lab. “But just in case, Raven get the drones back in the sky.” The group made their way inside, some less excited, like Emori, but still followed.

The lights turned on the moment they stepped inside, the entire lab at the tips of their fingers as they looked down to all the technology. Raven smirked. “Not bad, Becca.”

---

Bellamy and Kane were prisoners, locked in the cells as they worried. Bellamy was terrified about his sister, not knowing what will happen if they find her. “Doesn’t matter what we do, we always end up here at the brink of war.”

“Abby’s on the island. She’ll find a cure. I know she will.” Bellamy couldn’t believe him. How could he when nothing goes their way. He was terrified.

He was terrified about Octavia.

He was terrified about what Roan would do to them.

He was terrified about you being in Arkadia and having no idea the alliance was broken.

Bellamy was just terrified of everything.

Kane caught the look on Bellamy’s face, one of someone with no hope. “Hey, we’ll get through this.” Bellamy nodded, needing to believe he would see you again.

The sound of keys jingling caught their attention as the cell door opened, Echo and more grounders coming in. “On your feet.” They were told and obliged.

Kane looked past Echo, seeing Roan enter. “What are you doing?” He asked the King.

“We’re bringing you home. Your ship is protection from Praimfaya. I intend to take it.”

“You don’t have to do this. We can find a solution together.” Kane offered, knowing if Roan took Alpha then Skaikru would die.

Roan held his hand up, stopping Kane’s pleading. “That time has passed.” He turned toward Echo. “Get them ready to march.”

“Octavia will get there first.” Bellamy spoke up, believing in his sister to protect his people and you. Roan stopped walking. “She’ll warn them you’re coming. You’ll lose.”

Roan looked over his shoulder at Echo, the silence not settling well in Bellamy’s stomach as Roan nodded to the woman. Echo slowly turned around, stepping towards Bellamy before reaching into her coat.

Bellamy felt his world stop when she pulled out Octavia’s broken sword, letting it fall to Bellamy’s feet. He couldn’t breathe, staring at the weapon he knew was his sisters which could only mean one thing.

“She wouldn’t be taken alive.” Roan told him. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” he whispered, shaking his head and looking up at Echo. She nodded and Bellamy’s heart broke again. He turned around, grabbing onto the cell bars to keep him up as he tried to breathe. “No. No. No. No.” He repeated, feeling himself break down.

“It was a good death.” Echo said, only making Bellamy want to collapse.

“No. O!” He sobbed, falling to his knees. “No. No. NO! NO!” He screamed and cried out, begging for his sister as the guards pulled him away despite his violent thrashing and sobbing. “NO! NO!”

NO!

---

Helios walked the waterfront, taking his time after he had left Octavia. The water flowed right past him as he walked on the beach. He kept walking, drinking some of the moving water before finding Octavia’s body washed up on the shore. He nudged his muzzle against her bloodied hand, over and over until finally Octavia turned over her hand and let Helios lick her fingers.

Her breathing was raspy and painful as she picked her head up and Helios back away. She took as deep of a breath as she could and began crawling out of the water, groaning from the pain in her stomach and from the fall. “Helios.” She groaned and grabbed onto the stirrup, using it to pull herself up until she could pull herself onto the saddle completely. She had thrown herself over, falling forward onto the horse. “Home, Helios.” She mumbled, barely able to form the sentence. The horse started moving, heading in the direction to Arkadia while Octavia held on as tight as she could. “Take me home.”

A/N: Apologizes for my lateness loves, let me know what you think!

Tags are open!

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littlemisskookie · 6 years ago

Text

Love Me and Leave Me

Love Me and Leave Me Ship: Princess!Reader | Prince!Jin | Maid Description: Royalty!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU. You had no objections when you heard of your engagement to a faraway prince. In fact, you were elated! Especially when you caught sight of his handsome face and charming personality. You could see yourself falling for him easily. The only problem? He’s in love with someone else. Warnings: Impregnation Kink, Virgin Kink, Voyeurism, Dirty Talk, Intercourse, Oral, Multiple Orgasms, Cum Play, Handjob, Overstimulation, Infidelity? Angst, Slight Fluff, Slight Crack Word Count: 9,964

When you were told you were engaged to the eldest prince of a nearby kingdom, you had no objections.

Not as in you simply were quietly submitting because it was your duty- you were genuinely looking forward to it.

The quicker you were married the quicker you could get to the throne. Sure, some other princesses were distraught by the news, scared they'd be married to some old king, but you were lucky enough to get a prince. You liked to look on the bright side of things. Besides, arranged marriages have instances where they work- maybe if you were lucky you'd fall in love with the mystery man. A girl can dream, right? It would be just like the fairytales.

You heard he was the most handsome of them all. Prince Seokjin, eldest of the seven brothers. This marriage would align your two kingdoms and would be a joyous celebration.

So sure enough, upon your first meeting together you were absolutely ecstatic.

He was more beautiful than his portrait- a true show stopper. Plump lips and broad shoulders? Yes, please. He was as polite as he was handsome, kind as he insisted on pulling out your chair, instead of just having the staff do it. He made good conversation, with corny jokes you couldn't help at laugh at. Not because they were funny, but because they were stupid.

You really hit the jackpot with this one. The two of you agreed to get married immediately, your parents relieved to have no protest from their children.

As you sat there, seeing him animately laugh at his own joke as your families collectively shake their heads in playful disappointment, you only had one thought.

I can see myself falling in love with this man already.

There was only one problem, though.

He was in love with another.

You were approaching his bedchambers, his lounge for the time being before the two of you would be moved to the King's chambers, the coronation taking place with the wedding. Might as well save money and have two ceremonies in one, right?

You were about to ask him if he'd prefer your dress to be cream or pure white- (He was always so involved in your wedding planning, wanting to truly make it belong to the two of you instead of just hiring some wedding planner. You were so relieved to find out he wouldn't leave you to your own devices.)- when you heard something strange.

A moan.

No, not just that. A female moan.

You halted your footsteps, deathly quiet as you stood before the bedroom door, already slightly ajar. You were paralyzed.

A breathy sigh was followed with a grunt, the sound of skin slapping against skin along with the creaking of a bed as the headboard knocked ever so lightly against the wall.

"You're so tight, you feel incredible like always."

"Jinnie, oh my God-"

"Feel good baby?"

"Feels so great. More, Jinnie, please-"

"Anything for you."

The moans get louder along with the knocking of the headboard against the wall, and you wonder how no one else had come to discover the two. Creeping forward you look between the crack to see your prince with his lover.

You recognized the woman. She was one of the servants that came with Seokjin's family when he moved in for wedding preparations. You noticed she gave him a longing look- but that's what everyone gave him. Who could blame her? He was stunning, charming, and a prince no less.

Perhaps you should've noticed how he looked at her.

The two of them were naked, the sheets a mess and pillows tossed on either side of them. He was on top of her, her feet dangling on either side of his head, hanging on his shoulders. Her legs were spread and her head was hung back, mouth agape as she moaned, overcome with pleasure. Jin gripped her thighs, his hips moving fast in a familiar rhythm, sweat covering his forehead. He looked beautiful, even when he was sweaty and grunting anomalistically.

You couldn't help but feel yourself blush, face turning red as you brought your hand over your mouth, attempting to suppress any noise of shock. You could feel your face burning up beneath your palm, along with a betraying knock of arousal in the pit of your stomach. It was unlike you, looking at such a scene, and it felt like an invasion of privacy.

Still, you couldn't pry your eyes from the pornographic image, the intimacy between the two. You had no experience with this sort of thing- staying a virgin with the full intent of giving it to your future husband, just as you were raised to.

You should be appalled by this scene. Instead of being the lady you were raised to be, to silently walk away from the scene, you stayed watching, feeling your entire body ignite.

Maybe it was the scent of sex that hung in the air. Maybe it was the moans. Maybe it was simply because you had no frame of reference when it came to sex, and this was to sate your curiosity. More than likely it was all three.

"I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna-" The girl let out a whine as Jin leaned forward, pinning her more firmly into the mattress as her legs bent back with him. His lips met hers, a sloppy kiss as the two interjoin more completely, chest to chest.

"I love you," he says breathlessly, the moment the kiss breaks.

"I love you too, Jinnie. I'm gonna cum, I-"

"Me too, love. Come with me."

Her eyes roll back and he presses his hips more firmly into her ass, letting out a low groan as he empties himself into her. The two stay like that for a moment, still joined together, breathless and sweaty as they stare into each other's eyes.

"I love you so much," he says tenderly, touching her face with a soft caress, as though he weren't fucking her into the mattress seconds before.

"I love you too, Jinnie," she says, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Why the tears, love?"

"Oh, you're getting married!" she cries, voice cracking. The two break apart, but he holds her in his arms, tight against his chest as she softly cries. For one who wasn't raised a lady, she sure knew how to cry daintily. "How am I supposed to feel?"

"I know, I know. I wish I could marry you, I really do."

"You're getting married to a princess. What need will you have with me?"

"Don't say that."

"I'm just going to be the nanny to your child, watching you play house with your pretty little wife! I can't just be a side piece."

"Hey, hey! Don't say that. Don't. You'll never be that, understand? I love you. I've been in love with you since we were little kids, I grew up with you. You know that."

"I know, but," she sniffs, wiping away a tear, "what about her?"

"What about her? She's a stranger. We're doing this because it's our duty."

"But she's pretty, she knows how to read. She's beautiful and educated and refined and rich! What am I? I'm a grubby little servant."

"You're the one I love. You're the one I choose."

"Then prove it."

"How?"

She thinks for a moment before turning to him. "Run away with me. Don't marry her. We can take some of your family heirlooms and run to some estate or something in a faraway kingdom. We can start our own family and forget all of this."

Jin's silent at that, simply staring at her in the dark.

Her face crumples. "Oh, I knew it. You want me to just act as... as some concubine! To be-"

"Let's do it."

"...What?"

"I'm serious. We can run away. We'll have to come up with a plan, but let's do it."

"You really mean that?" she asks softly.

"I do," he says, cradling her face in his, giving her small pecks all over her face. "I choose you. I choose you over a kingdom, over a crown, over a princess. That's how much you mean to me. I'll always choose you."

With that, you walk away.

You had to come up with a plan.

"Prince Seokjin, darling," you greet, a fake smile plastered on your face as you waltz your way over to him.

He was busy smelling different flowers that were offered, the maids before him beaming and urging him to pick their own, as though it would indicate he was truly choosing one of them. Once he heard your call, though, he turned, beaming at you with that brilliant smile of his.

"Princess Y/N! You look radiant as always," he says, your hand coming up in a familiar motion as he lets his plump lips press against it.

He's a marvelous actor, you think to yourself. You supposed he had plenty of practice. There was no way his parents would tolerate him being in love with a mere servant girl- he had to have snuck her around his own palace for years.

"How's the wedding planning going?"

"I think I've gone nose blind. It appears I cannot distinguish between even roses and tulips!"

You smile at that. "Why, you must truly be going mad."

"Oh, not at all. I find it a good pastime, actually. Feels easier to plan a wedding than to plan a war."

"Well, we can only pray we won't be entering one of those in our lifetimes," you muse.

"Gift for the grandkids, I reckon," he winks.

You can't help but chuckle at that. "I, too, have found myself invested in the planning. I was going to ask you what color dress you'd like me to wear. It's approaching so soon- the seamstresses are getting anxious for my decision. The dress appears to be the most difficult of all, though."

"I do think the color silver suits you. Iridescent, like the moon," he says.

Ah yes, his lover was the sun, outshining you always as you hung in the background, always there and always leering, only visible to him when she was away. You were sure, however, that she thought the same about you. The truth was, however, that she was Juliet and you were Rosaline.

"Sounds perfect. I'll notify them immediately."

"Best to hurry the wedding along. Seems the sooner in approaches the more hectic the castle gets. Everyone's so busy, they have hardly any time to even pay attention to the bride and groom," he notes.

Clever. With how busy everyone was, no one would notice his disappearance. By the time someone did, he and the servant girl would be far gone.

"I truly cannot wait to get married," you beam.

"As am I, dear," he smiles.

"Might we take a break from these busybodies and take a walk around the quarters? I still have much to learn about my future husband," you say.

He offers his arm, which you link your own around. "But of course! Perhaps along the way, I'll regain my sense of smell."

The two of you depart, slowly trickling out of the crowds, out of ballrooms and hallways and into passageways. All of the servants were too busy to know where you were, or to occupy these small spaces. It was the perfect place to whisper into each other's ears without the worry of being overheard. Whether those whispers were sweet nothings or secrets, no one would know.

It wasn't until you were sure no one was near that you unlinked your arm from his, your false, cheery demeanor dropping immediately.

"So, tell me about your lover, Jinnie."

The prince freezes in his tracks, stunned. He raises his hand, opening his mouth to say something, but you're quick.

"Don't make another move."

You lift your skirt, the hem reaching to your waist as you bunch up the fabric, revealing the knife strapped to your thigh.

Seokjin gulps, taking a step back. "Do you always carry a knife on you, Your Highness?"

"Not always," you admit. "Only when I'm alone with a man. A lady like myself should know better than to be in closed quarters with one and engaged or not, you're a stranger. I don't know what your reaction will be to knowing your secret is revealed."

"How much do you know?"

"Enough. She's a servant girl from your palace, one you grew up with. You love her, and she loves you. The two of you plan to run away together. Am I incorrect?"

"Not in the slightest," he says, shaking his head. "I truly got the brightest bride, didn't I?"

"Enough with the flattery, Seokjin. We can cut the bullshit with each other now," you say bluntly.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Princess. I promise you that." He raises his hands in surrender. "Secret or not, I wouldn't dare lay a hand on a lady."

You look at him skeptically, quirking a brow, your hand hovering over the knife. "Why should I believe a word you say?"

"I'm simply a man in love, who wants the freedom to love. Is that such a crime?"

"It is, and you know what the consequences are," you remind him. Still, you release the fabric, letting the skirt flow back down to cover your legs. "Surely you know the danger there is. It would cost both of you your heads- hers, at the very least."

"So what? Are you going to turn us in?" He still holds his hands up, searching your eyes, trying to find answers. "Are you scorned to know you never stood a chance? That I wasn't the faithful prince you dreamt of?"

"Once you leave I'll be humiliated. I've been groomed for perfection, to marry the best. So when the best runs away, it'll only be presumed that I'm not perfect enough. Shame will be cast on my family and kingdom, and I'll be forced to marry another. It might not even be one of your brothers, and perhaps our kingdoms will war against one another."

Seokjin hangs his head. "You'd have every right to turn me in."

"There would still be shame, perhaps even more. To know I was replaced by a servant girl- there'd be public outrage. The Cinderella concept doesn't work as well in real life as one might think."

"So what're you going to do? Kill me here before anyone finds out? Cover it up and frame it as something else and carry on the wedding with one of my brothers?" Seokjin's eyes harden as he clenches his jaw. "You can do whatever you wish with me, as long as you promise me she stays out of it. I want her safe and happy. You can send her far from this kingdom if you so wish, but I want her safe. Do that, and even if you kill me I'll die a happy man."

"Don't be barbaric," you say, huffing. "I'm going to help you."

The prince's eyes widen in shock, and he sputters, lowering his arms. "Wait- wait, what?"

You finally let out a genuine smile, amused by his reaction. "I'm going to help you two escape, my dear Prince."

"I- thank you so much- but why?"

"You two are going to need help. All of the known exits are going to be blocked by guards- an effort to prevent incoming assassins from crashing the wedding. This is my palace, not yours. I'm not sure how things run in your kingdom, but our security is top-notch. You'd never stand a chance, even now. And I'm not doing this to save just my own reputation, mind you. I find you charming, handsome, and a suitable husband. I could see myself falling in love with you, Prince Seokjin."

"Then why do you wish to let me run away with another?"

"Because I refuse to be the evil queen who prevents love from blooming. You deserve the freedom to love. You found the real thing- who am I to stop you? You'd be unhappy as my husband, and so would your lover. They say, happy wife, happy life, but what about the other way around?"

"You're truly doing this out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Not quite. As with all things, there's a catch," you admit.

"Name your price. I'll do whatever you wish," he promises.

You hold up your hand, silencing him. "Hear my conditions before you make any promises, Prince. Surely even you should know negotiation tactics. First and foremost, you'd still have to go through with the wedding and coronation. We still need our kingdoms joined, and the title will grant me far more power than I would have as a princess. I'd rather not wait until the next wedding to gain the crown. It'll make your escape run much smoother, which we'll start after all is said and done. Soonest we can do is about three months after the wedding and coronation when all of the guests are gone and things have simmered down. We'll need to prepare food, money, carriage, and living arrangements in the meantime to prepare for the escape."

"I can understand that much. I'm sure that'll be fine," he says.

"That's not quite the catch, though. I'm not sure your lover will be too fond of this one, either," you tell him. "There's another reason we'll have to wait until three months for you two to leave. It'll take at least that long for me to find out if I'm pregnant."

The prince's eyes widen comically at that. "Pregnant?"

You nod firmly. "Once you two have escaped, saying either you ran away or faking your death, they can always cancel the alliance or marry me to another. With a baby, however, the kingdoms would still remain permanently joined, and I won't be forced to marry another, on account that I'll no longer be a virgin. My main purpose anyway is to raise an heir, so this will give me at least 18 years to rule until they're of age. There would be no need for a king so long as I do the job myself. I also refuse to let rumors run amok about my baby being a bastard, for that matter. Once I show signs of pregnancy, it'll be your indicator to leave."

"So you mainly need me to knock you up?" Seokjin questioned. "Make sure it's me?"

"I have no doubt the baby will grow to be as beautiful as you, Seokjin. Genes like that don't just skip a generation," you say, trying to lighten the mood. "As I said, those are my conditions. They are non-negotiable. Unless you wish to continue sneaking your lover around for, perhaps, the next 18 years. And considering the fact I had simply stumbled upon one of your trysts during the night, I'd say you're lucky you haven't gotten caught sooner. I suggest you talk to her about the conditions and gain her approval."

"She'll agree, even at the price. Neither of us will be necessarily thrilled about the ordeal, but it's well worth it." Seokjin laughs for a moment. "You're a beautiful princess, anyway."

"And you're alright with everything? You do realize that we'd have to consummate our marriage several times to increase the likelihood of pregnancy."

"I'm well aware."

"And you'll be alright with abandoning your child?"

Seokjin's quiet at that.

"Perhaps I'll sneak in a visit once or twice," he says quietly. "Should a kid really be without a father?"

"They'll have to be," you say. "I'll raise them splendidly, though. I'll give them father figures to spare. And maybe I'll let them visit a quiet manor once in a while to visit a lord and a lady, perhaps faraway cousins. And maybe, just maybe, they'll look into your eyes and see their own. Maybe they'll even think of you as the father they never had."

Seokjin's eyes soften as he looks at you. "You're a far better person than I am, Princess."

You smile weakly, reaching forward to brush your fingers against his cheek. "I know."

You slip away, gliding at a familiar pace already, but stop. You turn your head to the side to look at him. "Tell them roses are overrated and to try and get something periwinkle. I think the color will compliment my dress."

It was the eve of the wedding, and anxiety was starting to overtake you. Why were you nervous? You had planned everything out. It wasn't like you'd even have to commit to the man, dreading a life with him. The concept of you having cold feet would be utterly ridiculous.

You were in the middle of a relaxation period, one maid combing your hair and another massaging your shoulders when there was a knock at your door.

"Come in," you call, not bothering to look their way.

Surprisingly, you see Prince Seokjin with his lover, though she stands demurely behind him, head bowed the same as any other maid.

"Why, my betrothed, what a surprise," you say, smiling to him. "You're lucky I wasn't trying on my wedding dress."

"Never took you as the superstitious type, darling," he chuckled, nodding to his lover to close the door behind him.

You turn to your own maids, waving your hand. "You're dismissed. I wish to speak to my fiancé. You needn't worry about us partaking in wedding night shenanigans- I'll make sure his maid is present. I'm sure neither of us will have trouble refraining ourselves from tomfoolery."

The maids bow deeply, quickly departing from the room.

You turn to the couple, a warm smile on your face. "Getting cold feet, Seokjin?"

"Not at all- simply pre-wedding jitters," he assures you.

You look over to the maid, stepping closer. You tried to keep your interactions with her scarce- the less you knew of her the better. Still, you tilted her chin up with your hand, urging her to stop staring at her feet and instead into your eyes. "And you? You're still alright with the arrangements?"

It had come to no surprise that she had agreed to your conditions, despite the fact she was unsettled with some of the standards. Still, she was compliant.

"I am, Princess," she confirms. "It's a happy compromise."

"If only lords had that wisdom," you muse to yourself. You clap your hands, remembering something. "Speaking of! Your manor is almost done. It'll take two months to complete, so by the time your murder or departure is announced, whichever you choose, you'll have a home all ready."

"Are you sure three months will be enough time for them to believe you hadn't murdered me for power?" the prince questions.

"That is a good concern, but I don't think there'll be any turn about. No matter how much time passes, there will be rumors. The most we can do is act as in love as possible during your stay here. An endless honeymoon phase."

"I've heard some of the other servants gossip already about how the love is legitimate," his lover mentions. "They say it's something straight out of a fairytale."

"At least we know we're on the right track," you confirm. "So are we confirming it'll be a murder?"

"Less shame. It'll be cleaner that way. I may be leaving my family, but I know they'd grieve more over their own misfortune than my death. This will have the least amount of casualties," he answers.

"And we can claim that she was the one who killed you, perhaps? It would explain her disappearance as well."

"How will we stage the fake death, then?" Seokjin ponders over it. "We've been thinking about it for days now, and I can't come up with anything."

"That's why I'm the planner in this relationship, my Prince," you chortle. "Type A, remember? I've been thinking about it as well. I was thinking we could go hunting, perhaps a game of chase. We can bring a few servants, and I'll separate with you two momentarily. By the time my own ladies in waiting catch up with me, I'll be mourning, claiming that the maid that had come along with you pushed you into a rushing river, sweeping your body away and that she had run away. I'd most likely have to get a cut or two to make it seem as though I was also attacked. While the rest are looking for either Seokjin's body or the murderess, you two will be departing in a nearby carriage, where new clothes, food, and whatever else you'll need for the journey will be provided."

"You're brilliant!" Seokjin exclaims, giving you a peck on the cheek.

His lover's eyes brim with tears, and in a rush of emotion, embraces you, her arms wrapping around you as she pulls you close. "Thank you, Your Highness. You're a blessing to us, and you'll be a blessing to the people. We owe you our lives."

"Well, it'll be in exchange for a new one," you remind her, stiff as you were unfamiliar with the feeling of a hug. "Need I remind you we'll begin tomorrow?"

She stiffens as well at the reminder, releasing you. "Oh... yes..."

"And you're still on board?"

"It must be done. It's a small price to pay."

Was it though? It was a child.

You compose yourself, smoothing your hands over your clothes to get rid of wrinkles. "Well, I suppose I must get ready for bed. We have a long day ahead of ourselves, don't we?"

"Indeed. Tomorrow we'll be husband and wife," Seokjin says.

"We'll be king and queen," you add.

"And in three months we'll be gone," the maid whispers lowly.

Your dress was truly enchanting, an iridescent glow keeping all eyes on you as you walked down the aisle. It had a long train and high neck with a low back, all of it shimmering with every move you made. The veil you wore concealed your face, though beneath you wore golden lids and a tint that made your lips look like flower petals. One arm was linked with your father's, the King, and the other held a bouquet of periwinkles.

Any whispers or talks were immediately quiet, a shush amongst the people as you approached the altar, the oh so handsome prince waiting eagerly. You kept in beat with the tune the musicians played, hoping the song would be enough to mask the sound of your racing heart.

You reached the altar sooner than you would've hoped, and soon your father placed your hand in Seokjin's. The two of you interlocked fingers, giving one another a familiar, anxious smile before turning to the minister.

You could feel Seokjin's pulse through his hand, and you were sure he could do the same. You wondered if either of you were even listening as the minister questioned him about if he intended to stay true to you, caring for you in sickness and in health, as well as serve the kingdom as the new ruler. He asked you the same, and you were all too eager to answer "I do!" to every question he threw at you, though you knew you had no intention of keeping true to the promises made in regards to your husband.

The first to be crowned was Seokjin, a velvet cape being draped over his shoulders and a golden scepter in his free hand. A golden crown was placed upon his perfectly combed hair, fitting perfectly. You felt your heart race impossibly faster once it was your turn, a lighter cape being placed upon your shoulders. You couldn't help but shudder at the feeling of the crown on your head, a silver one to remind the people that though you were Queen, the King came first. It was beautiful, though, silver and littered with diamonds and emeralds.

"I now present to you, for the very first time, your King and Queen! You may now kiss the bride!"

Funny, that you were about to kiss Seokjin for the first time when tonight you'd be doing a lot more. You didn't think to ask before, considering it disrespectful to his relationship, but now you regret it.

Seokjin lifts your veil to reveal your face to both him and the public. You blink up at him expectantly, eyes trained on the plush, parted lips.

"You look beautiful," he says beneath his breath.

Hurry up and lay one on me.

As though reading your mind, he presses his lips against your own. They're softer than you dreamt of, enveloping yours, his mouth firm against your own. Your own lashes flutter shut as you pull him slightly closer, your hand coming up to his face to cradle his cheek.

The two of you break apart, gleeful smiles on your faces, almost as though you had gotten the hardest part over with.

But that was yet to come.

You look over to your husband, the two of you sitting on the lavish, silk sheets, neither of you moving. You weren't sure what was preventing you from taking action. After all, virginity was truly, at its core, a concept. You were a woman who liked to take charge and had more than enough confidence in herself and her capabilities.

The room had been set up as one would expect- candles, petals, chocolates. You had eaten three pieces already.

What was the hold-up?

You turn to Seokjin, taking in a deep breath as you finally made the first move, slowly removing your clothes. His eyes raked down your figure, Adam's apple bobbing up and down the column of his throat, seeing you in your unmentionables, your impeccable clothes now discarded to the floor.

"Do you like it?" you question, combing your fingers through your hair in an attempt to loosen it up.

"I..." He licks his lips. "I do. I like it a lot."

"I'm glad." You inch closer to him, reaching for his hand and pressing it against your cheek, slowly getting on top of him. "You know, I won't get pregnant if you can't touch me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this. It's just been a while since I've been with anyone else. It's new... like... fresh, I suppose," he explained.

"If it helps, you can simply think of it as a transaction. Simply business. No offense to you, but I don't expect much. Or you can simply think of her in my place," you offer.

"No, that'd be unfair to you. I want to make you feel good, really," he says. As though mustering up the courage, he finally leans in, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss is tender, sweet. It's slow and builds up, letting you two take your time at a leisure pace, knowing you didn't have to rush.

He breaks the kiss apart. "Also, I still take offense to the 'not expecting much'. I don't know what other guys you've been with, but I've been told I'm rather generous."

You couldn't help but snort at that. "Oh, please. I hope the baby doesn't inherit your cockiness."

He rolls his eyes, kissing you again, this time more firm as he begins to run his hands over your body. You're tense, but welcome the touch, the foreign sensation of having someone else's hands on you filling you with adrenaline. His hands squeeze your breasts, removing more garments from you before rolling the nipples beneath his thumbs, humming into your mouth as he felt them harden at his touch.

You find yourself enjoying the sensation, drawing him closer as he breaks the kiss apart, mouth on your breasts to simulate the hardened buds. You tilt your head back, concentrated on the feeling of his mouth against your hot skin, his hands along your back as he tried to push you further against his mouth.

Once he's done he pulls back, making you yelp in alarm as he flips you over onto the bed. "Fun fact, I prefer to be on top," he grins, causing you to swat him in the chest.

"Less talking and more doing. Take your clothes off too- it's weird if I'm the only one who's naked."

He complies, obviously having no sense of insecurity as he yanks his shirt over his head, pulling his pants down until he was only in his underwear. You couldn't help but let your eyes linger on his body, admiring the broad shoulders and smooth skin. You only tore your eyes away when you caught sight of the typical cocky smirk.

"Like what you see, Princess?"

"That's Queen to you."

"My mistake," he chuckles, spreading your legs apart before removing the last undergarment, leaving you completely bare before him. He settles between your legs, large hands spread against your thighs as he slowly inches them apart, revealing your wet heat.

"Wait," you said, suddenly nervous.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" he questioned, hands immediately off of you.

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. I just..." You took in a deep breath. "You should know that I've never... done anything with anyone before. This is my first time."

He pauses at that, soaking in the information. "You're a virgin?"

"I... Yeah."

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed from how you were climbing me like a tree back there."

You flush red, smacking him in the chest again as he laughs. "I did not, you buffoon!"

"I'm joking, I'm joking! Still, you have more confidence than most. I would've assumed you weren't."

"Just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I'm completely 'innocent' and devoid of confidence and sexuality. Virginity is closer to a social construct and doesn't dictate purity in the slightest, but is instead a prudish and sexist concept that is meant to determine a woman's worth and a man's masculinity."

"I agree with that, trust me. You have a point," Seokjin admits.

"So... You're ok with me being a virgin? You being my first, I mean?"

"Are you kidding? It's... You're going to think I'm weird."

"Spit it out, already."

"Well, not going to lie, but it's really fucking hot."

"You're joking."

"I'm not!" Hesitantly, he takes your hand, pressing it against his clothed dick. You gasped in surprise, the erection far bigger than you had suspected it to be. He whimpers slightly at your touch as you press your palm down a bit harder, rubbing your hand against it.

"Why does me being a virgin turn you on so much?" you asked him, curious.

"I don't know. I guess it's the thought that you trust me enough to be your first? That I'll be the first man ever to do anything to you, with you. I'll be the first inside you." You felt his dick twitch under your palm at that. "I know you went on that whole shpeal about how it's a construct and doesn't determine your purity, but it really does make it feel like I'm going to corrupt me."

"Funny how your first time corrupting me is going to also knock me up."

Another twitch.

"You're going to make me cum in my underwear if you keep talking like that," he hissed. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part, yet."

"Alright, stick it in me then."

"No!" Seokjin swatted your hand away. "I've got to prepare you first so that it doesn't hurt. Especially considering the fact that you're a virgin. I'll be gentle of course, but it'll go a lot easier if you're wet."

"I'm already wet."

"Just trust me on this, ok? Spread your legs for me."

You couldn't help but shudder at his words, obeying his command as you reveal once again your core, hearing him let out a sharp hiss.

"You look really good like this," he says, licking his lips as he slowly descends down your body. "I'm the luckiest husband in the world."

"Does that mouth ever stop- ohh."

His mouth licked a stripe up your slit, hands pressed against your inner thighs as you attempted to cage him in. He let his tongue run over your folds, tasting what you had to offer before giving you a gentle suck on your clit, feeling your thighs already quiver at the action. He grins, coming back up. "What were you saying about my mouth?"

"Shut up and get to it."

He doesn't need any further instruction, proceeding as he eats you out, alternating between tasting you straight at the source and making your stomach twist with sharp sucks against your clit. He took his time, meticulous, french kissing your cunt with skill. He took the time to try and learn what you liked and didn't like, your moans getting louder when he paid more attention to your clit, and small whimpers emitting from your mouth when he proceeded to tongue fuck you.

Slowly he let one of his hands slide off your thigh, a digit circling your entrance before slipping in easily, the copious arousal preventing friction. Your body jerked slightly when he curled it, searching for your g-spot. When he found it you were letting out breathy gasps, fingers coming to his hair to push him further into you. As always, he complied, repeatedly curling his fingers as he ate you out, moaning into your head to send vibrations throughout your core.

"Oh my God, Seokjin, fuck."

"Mm?"

"More, please," you moaned, screwing your eyes shut as you focused on the pleasure.

"More what?"

"More fingers. Want you to fill me."

"That mouth is fucking dangerous," he growled. Slowly he inched in the second digit, your walls accommodating them as he scissored your cunt, stretching you out. It wasn't long before you could handle a third, his thick fingers providing a pleasurable burn you couldn't help but crave.

An odd feeling was brought up in the pit of your stomach, and you pulled harder at Seokjin's hair, heels digging into his back.

"I-I'm going- fuck, I-"

"That's right, cum for me," he growled, words muffled by your wet heat.

You felt it sooner than you could process it, an orgasm washing throughout your body in a wave of euphoria. It was better than even literature could describe, and despite how much you read and wondered about the real thing, even experimenting with yourself, it was nothing compared to the real thing.

Your breathing was hard, panting for air as he came back up. The visual stimulus of his handsome face smeared with your juices, his reward for eating you out as though you were his last meal on death row.

"How're you holding up, Your Majesty?" he chuckled, proud of himself. "I don't think you lasted even eight minutes."

You weren't in the mood to counter his gloating, instead reaching for his underwear, shucking them to the floor. He let out a gasp of surprise as you unapologetically wrapped your hand around his length, slowly pumping him.

"Fuck, you're so big," you said, mouth agape in awe. You were unsure if it was because you simply had no other frame of reference to compare him to or because he really was that big, but something told you that the sweet spots he'd be able to reach and the pleasurable stretch would be worth it. "Want you inside me."

"Yeah? Want me to give you a baby?" He groaned, bucking his hips as your hand continued to pump his length. "Tighter, just like that. Oh, fuck."

"Want you to fill me up with this big cock. Want you to fill me up with cum." Your mouth didn't seem to have a filter, your thoughts bubbling to the surface. You were cock drunk, it seemed, focused more on it than your own dignity. Oh, what your etiquette teachers would think if they saw you now.

"I'm ready," he said, removing your hand. "I don't want to blow my load too early. Want to cum inside you."

You laid back down, letting him climb on top of you, the head circling your entrance.

"I'm gonna go slow. Just tell me if it hurts, ok?" He seemed so sincere, staring into your eyes as though he was truly concerned he'd harm you.

You simply bucked your hips up against him, urging him closer. "I'll be ok."

He slowly pushes in, and you bite your lip, toes curling as he sinks the head in, the thickest part. You can already feel a bit of a burn as your walls stretched around to accommodate him. He studied your reaction, making sure you were alright before sinking in, slowly as he went inch by inch. You savored each second, eyes screwed shut as you toss your head back, lip caught between your teeth.

With each grimace or wince you gave, Seokjin placed a kiss on your forehead, assuring you that you'd be alright and that the pain would be over soon. You simply tried to concentrate on his voice, how low and oddly soothing it was.

It wasn't until he was balls deep in you, bottoming out, that you truly processed it. You were no longer a virgin, from this moment forward. Society saw you as tainted, taken, and impure.

And you loved it.

Seokjin buried his head in your shoulder, biting down as he tried to refrain from moving. "You're- fuck, you're tighter than I expected. I should've prepared you more. You feel so good."

Your pussy clenched around him at that, only making his arms buckle slightly above you.

"Move."

"You sure?" he questions.

You nod. "Yeah, I'm alright. Go."

He's slow, rocking his hips back and forth, the movements shallow. You couldn't help but watch where your bodies were connected, fascination evident in your eyes. There was a subtle pain, but not as much as you were expecting, and once it subsided you began to feel good. Before you knew it the two of you were moaning, his thrusts deeper and less careful, his more animalistic side creeping in to replace the sweet, tender lover.

You whimpered, nails digging into his back, raking down. He let out a hiss above you, gritting his teeth, though he showed no complaints. If you had drawn blood, he seemed to only let it fuel him further.

"G-Gonna fill me up? Get me pregnant?" you stammered, eyes rolling back. "Give me your baby?"

"Fuck, yeah, gonna make sure this tight pussy gets filled."

"You l-like fucking a virgin's cunt?"

"Feels like heaven," he grunted. "My dirty little virgin."

"You're so deep in me." You looked down, noticing the movement of his cock inside of you, evident at the pit of your belly.

"Gotta reach the womb," he explained. "Gotta fill it up with cum so a baby grows there."

"Want you to cum in me. Knock me up," you say, pleading. "Let me have it."

He groans, his pace getting sloppy. You could feel it- he was close. Still, he slithered a hand between the two of you, toying with your clit, sending sparks through your body. "Want you to cum with me. I won't give you my cum unless you cum first."

With how many places he could reach inside of you, hitting spots inside of you that you didn't even know existed, plus the stimulation of your clit, it didn't take long for you to do just that. As soon as Seokjin saw your eyes rolling back and felt your pussy repeatedly spasming and clenching over his cock, he became undone, making sure to bottom out inside of you and fill you up to the brink.

The two of you panted heavily, and it wasn't until he was milked of every drop that he rolled over and off of you, collapsing at your side. He snuggled against your side, however, kissing the side of your neck as he let his hand travel back down to your heat.

You cringed at the overstimulation, curling in on yourself. "Seokjin-"

"Shh, gotta make sure all my cum stays inside you," he says, voice soft as he murmurs against your skin. You tolerate the way his palm rubs against your clit as he pushes any trickling cum back inside of you with his fingers, sure to not let any drop go to waste.

He brings his hand back up, the digits glistening with both of your juices. "Suck."

You obey, mouth wrapping around it as you clean him off.

He smiled at that, letting his fingers escape your mouth with a lewd pop. "What a perfect, dirty little wife I have."

"What an idiot I've got for a husband."

Routine seemed to be your best friend.

You'd wake up in the morning with Seokjin at your side, the two of you getting ready for the day. You'd share breakfast together and go over paperwork and laws, planning negotiations. You typically did it, running the show, as most of your ideas seemed to be far more fleshed out than his. Between hours of work you'd have free time, Seokjin seeing his lover and you spending your time relaxing, often getting your hands massaged to ache the cramps in your hands from all of the writing. You'd typically go to bed alone, on the nights Seokjin didn't fuck you, but somehow he was always there when you woke up, snuggling by your side.

You couldn't help but feel a warm tenderness for your husband, enjoying the breakfast you spent with just him. Lunches were typically during free time, so he'd have his own hidden away, and dinners were with lords and ladies discussing what they thought ought to be done. (Most wanted to trample over one another to gain power, not even thinking about those who resided on their land. Countesses were vermin, in your opinion.)

You knew you were supposed to see Seokjin only in an analytical, logical light. A professional relationship. Perhaps it was how you shared the same bed, or how sweet he'd be at times. You felt yourself falling, however, before you knew it. Your parents would often note how happy you seemed together, pleased by how genuine your affection was for one another.

And he couldn't deny it either.

You stood before the mirror, trying to see whether or not you were showing yet. You weren't even three months in, but you were eager, wondering when you'd see the little bump. Soon enough you'd be inflated like a balloon, your feet swollen and back aching. Soon enough you'd feel tiny kicks and be picking out names.

Seokjin smiled, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around you, his own hands over yours as he pressed them a lightly against your stomach. "Feel anything yet?"

"No," you frowned. "I can't even tell."

"Maybe you just ate too much at dinner, sweetheart. I'm pretty sure I can feel a food baby right here." He presses your stomach for emphasis, and you swat him playfully, rolling your eyes.

"Like you're one to talk. Eat any more turkey and I'll start thinking you're the one who'll be eating for two."

You stare at the two of you in the mirror, his chin resting on your shoulder as you gazed at each other. This was nice. It felt so oddly domestic, as though you two were truly raising a baby together out of love and not necessity.

"I wish we could be like this all the time," he admitted, his voice soft. "I like this routine. I'm happy."

"I like this too," you admit to yourself. "It feels right."

"Doesn't it?" His mood dips a bit, his eyes sad. "Do you want me to at least stay long enough to help you through the baby? I don't like the thought of you having to deal with the pregnancy all on your own."

"Next thing you know you'll be saying you don't want me to give birth alone, or raising a child on my own."

"Maybe..." He lowers his eyes, pressing your back closer to his chest. "Are you happy like this?"

"I think I'm happier than I ever have been."

"Then why do we have to stop? Why can't we live every day like this?"

You knew what he was trying to say. Words he couldn't dare say out loud, for all of your sakes. You wanted to say it too.

I love you.

"You know why. You made a promise. We both did," you remind him, not wanting to humor him. "It wouldn't be fair to her, now would it? She isn't happy."

"She's eager. She doesn't see the attachment or the fear about the baby. It's all just going to plan," he explains.

"It is. I don't blame her. You know what they say- a woman becomes a mother as soon as she gets the news, and a man becomes a father as soon as he sees the baby."

"I don't want to be that kind of man, though. I'm a father."

"Seokjin, we don't even know if I'm pregnant yet."

"I know," he says. "I can feel it in my gut."

"I'm sure you can," you smile, chuckling softly. You stare at yourself in the mirror, hand running over your stomach once again, searching. "What should we name it?"

"Seokjin Jr. if it's a boy, of course."

Oddly enough you didn't object. "And if it's a girl?"

"I was thinking about that the other day. Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with a name related to periwinkles."

"Periwinkles?"

"Remember? It was the color you really liked, the kind of flowers you chose for your bouquet at our wedding."

"I'm surprised you remember," you say. "I was thinking something similar, in a sense. Selene."

"Selene? What does that have to do with periwinkles?"

"Not periwinkles. The moon. Like how you wanted my wedding dress to be silver? Silver as the moon. Selene was the goddess of the moon, at least in Greek mythology."

"I like the name." He laughs a little to himself. "Either way it's an S name. Seokjin Jr. or Selene."

"I didn't say it'd be Seokjin Jr.!"

"You didn't object!"

"I hope for your sake we have a girl, then."

"I'd love a little girl." Seokjin's eyes literally light up at the prospect. "She could have my lips and your eyes and little pigtails! Oh, could you imagine all the fancy little dresses she'd run around in? All of them periwinkle, of course!"

"You're obsessed with that color, aren't you?"

"What can I say, it reminds me of you."

Your smile is a sad one, and you squeeze your hand around his, looking down from your reflection. "You'd be a good father. You will be. I'll be sure to send our child over as often as I can."

There's a silence between you two, and you feel yourself start to tear up, your eyes getting glassy.

There's a lump in your throat as you slightly choke on your own words. "Is it bad I don't want you to leave?"

"No. I don't want to leave either."

"But you will, right?"

"You made a point- we both made promises. I can't keep her in this suffocating castle for much longer."

"Suffocating?"

"For her. It can't be easy to constantly hear about the one she loves being with another. She was first and... I still love her."

"I know."

"I don't want to leave you..."

"I know."

"...but you know I have to."

"...I know."

Another pause settles between you two, and you offer a weak smile, squeezing his hand again as you lock eyes in the reflection, small tears at the corners of your eyes. You reach back, caressing his cheek softly. "Let's enjoy the time we have left. Stress can't be good for the baby."

Morning sickness was a bitch.

It had been three days, in the middle of your third month, when it was confirmed you were pregnant. You had suspected, of course, with the sickness, but it could also be a bad case of the flu. The doctor assured otherwise.

When you told Seokjin he had a different reaction from you, leaping for joy and twirling you in the air. "I'm going to be a father! Can you believe it? Me!"

You smiled as brightly as you could, kissing him on the mouth with as much emotion as you could muster. You wanted to convey how much you truly did love him, and why today was the day you were letting him go.

He didn't have long to celebrate, as soon enough you had called upon his lover for a secret meeting, the three of you discussing plans.

"As I'm sure you're aware by now, I'm pregnant," you tell her, your voice soft.

"Congratulations, Your Majesty," she says, her tone wary, as though she was unsure of your next lines. It couldn't be easy for her, you knew, to know that you were carrying the proof of his trysts with you. "I'm sure you're pleased."

"I am. Everything's going according to plan," you nod. "Which is why the two of you must leave today."

Seokjin stands upright, shocked. "Today?"

"Yes. Today." You made eye contact with the woman, and she meets it for once, knowing exactly what you meant. If Seokjin stayed here much longer, with his excitement and absolute joy, he'd never want to leave. And all three of you knew it'd be best for him to be removed from the situation as soon as possible now that their end of the deal was complete.

"I've got a game on horseback scheduled already. Some of the ladies in waiting will be with me. You two will go off to the river- the one we planned for. Let one of the horses go free and escape to the hidden carriage. I've got everything set up, and the two of you will have to disguise yourselves. Remember, rub dirt on Seokjin's face and powder your own. You're a countess traveling back home with your favorite footman. The driver won't ask any questions and knows the way. I'll fix up the rest within ten minutes. Remember to leave Seokjin's horse by the riverside."

Of course, the three of you had practiced on multiple occasions, knowing exactly where the river was, where the carriage would be, and where to let the horse go. It didn't even feel real yet, and you were going to be doing it in but a few hours.

"But-"

"No buts, Seokjin. I'm pregnant. We don't have time to waste." You can't even meet him in the eye. "I'll get changed to prepare for the game, and I suggest you two do as well."

The maid nods, leaving the room to get ready. Seokjin is left staring at you.

"This is the last time I'm ever going to see you again, isn't it?"

"Seokjin, we both know you can't stay here much longer. We did what we had to do. It's time for what you were wanting in the beginning."

"Things are different now-"

"The plan is completed now," you finish. "We prepared for this."

His face crumples, and he looks like he's about to cry, holding back tears. He holds your hands, squeezing them as though through an act of desperation. "Y/N..."

"Seokjin." You can't even look at him. You know that if you do, you'll cry too.

"It's too quick. Give me a day or-"

"Seokjin," you interrupt. He's quiet, knowing that nothing he could do or say would change anything. You were stubborn, as was his lover. He had a type. This wasn't a battle he could win, and ultimately he knew that he had no other choice.

"I love you," he says in a sudden act of declaration. "I love her too, and I'll go with her. I just wanted you to know before I left."

You feel tears slip down your cheeks, your hands limp in his. You don't want to respond, knowing your voice will crack and get shaky if you even attempted to.

"Do... Do you feel the same?"

There's a lump in your throat that makes it hard for you to speak coherently. "You already know the answer to that."

"I want to hear you say it."

"I do." You look at him, staring him in the eye to let him know you truly, sincerely mean it. "I really, really love you. And that's why I'm letting you go."

He closes his eyes, tears clinging to his lashes as he kissed your forehead, pressing his own against it, the two of you just listening to each other's breathing for that small, intimate moment. "I know," he whispers.

Those were the last words you ever heard from Kim Seokjin.

"My Queen, might I say I'm surprised you want to celebrate your pregnancy with a game tonight," one of your ladies say. "Wouldn't you rather be laying down or hosting a party, rather than catching foxes?"

"Oh, well, you know how the King is. Something about catching some impressive game- promises a healthy boy- oh, I don't know. It's a tradition in his kingdom."

"You truly love him, don't you, Your Majesty?" one of the other questions, admiration in her tone. She seemed to be rather the romantic. You could remember when you were like that, once. "If you pardon me for asking."

"I do," you admit, your voice soft. "I couldn't have asked for a better husband."

"Speaking of him, where has he been? He and his maid have been up ahead for a while, now," the first questions. She pulls on the reigns, her horse stopping. "Do you suppose they've gotten lost?"

"I'm sure they haven't- but I'll go up ahead. Catch up with me later."

Before they can protest you speed up, making a beeline for the riverside. True enough, the only thing there was a horse.

They were long gone.

Your heart collapsed on itself, despite the fact you were expecting it. It made it finally feel real, knowing that you had now forever lost Seokjin. Your husband, your love, the father to your child, was long gone.

Only the harsh roars of the river drowned out your cry.

You sobbed, shaky as you got off your horse and approached Seokjin's, taking the saddle and retrieving the dagger. You add a cut or two to your shoulder and arm, making it draw blood but not deep enough to seriously injure yourself. Once the blade was messy enough you collapsed to the floor, overstruck with grief.

Your ladies in waiting find you curled in on yourself, immediately rushing to your aid, ripping the fabric of their dress to wrap around your injuries.

"T-The maid," you choke out, trying to remember your story, "s-she had killed Seokjin. Stabbed him and pushed him into the river. Sh-She came after me and I pushed back and she simply hopped on her horse and ran."

"My Queen, I'm-"

"He's dead!" You wailed, hands buried in your face. "He's gone. He's gone for good. I'll never see him again."

"We'll find the woman who killed him and see to it that she's put to death."

You only shook your head, rocking back and forth, overcome with grief. True, genuine anguish, but not the kind they could comprehend. With shaky legs, you stood back to your feet, your ladies attending to you and bringing you back to the castle, knowing the sad news would be a tragedy to the kingdom.

You clutched onto your stomach, the last piece you had left of him, and thought about how the father of your child was already on his way out to start a new life, with a new wife and perhaps a new family.

The two of you truly did love each other- and even now you didn't regret letting him go.

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