#introspectiontime

[jlaumadrigal]

Fuego del alma ❤️‍🔥

[astral-the-space-traveler]

If someone wishes to hate me or who I am as a person physically or mentally that's honestly fine by me. But I refuse to reciprocate unless you've genuinely done something to hurt me or I genuinely think you're the scum of the earth (people that fuck with people's human rights and shit). I'm no saint of course, I'm human and as such I'll fail sometimes but I like to believe I'm doing okay for myself in the ethics department.

If anyone actually has a problem with me I'd rather them be an adult and just say it. I'd rather be on the end of a thousand horrible words and know the truth rather than be deceived by false kindness or talking behind my back. It's childish and helps no one. It just gives you a sense of power.

Hatred comes from pain so I won't continue that cycle of pain just because you inflicted it on me. Honestly I'd rather be your friend but I'm either realistic enough to realize it's not gonna happen or smart enough to know what that would mean for everyone around me including myself.

So to all my haters, I either wish you relief from the grief consuming your soul or I wish for you to get beat over the head with a bat until you get amnesia and change your ways. I'll never convince someone to stop disliking me by just talking. It's up to them to make that choice. I don't give a damn about the high road moral shit. I just have my own ways and that's fine by me. Keeps my peace secure and my heart light.

Ain't my fault y'all are low vibrational. It's sad honestly. I want people to heal, but I know most people won't. It's really not my problem.

[theamoristwriter]

"It seems to me more than ever that I am a victim of introspection" ~ Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[sad-orlesian]

It's crazy how much my art has improved in the last few months since I took up drawing again. I wonder if I'll end up hating this drawing too in four weeks

I have to work on myself since my first reaction is not "wow I really improved I'm so proud" but "eww this old drawing sucks anyone who liked it did it out of pity"

Oh well

[harryjustharry]

I think I finally understood why I relate to the main characters in spy family that much: you don't have to be an international spy, an assassin or a telepath to think that no one will love you for who you truly are

[chlo-cloud24]

Cave of Reflection Scene Analysis

Having rewatched Barbie Mariposa (the original, mind you) recently, especially the Cave of Reflection scene, the parts of the reflections and how the three fairies react to them really struck me as an adult.

In this scene, the reflections can be seen as an insight into our minds and ego, but it can also be a metaphor for your inner critics and insecurities. How the fairies react to them can be a metaphor for how we deal with the mental side of ourselves.

Rayla was just not meant to be the one to find the antidote from the get-go, since the aversion she showed her reflection in the cave hints at her lack of inner stillness required to properly reflect in the final challenge, in addition to a lack of true understanding of herself, thus volunteering to stay behind was a wise choice.

Rayna, on the other hand, was able to reflect meaningfully with her reflection, but when the reflection highlighted how her pursuit of the antidote were for all the wrong reasons (prestige, a relationship with the Prince she was crushing on, wealth, etc.), it made her stop and think about why she was taking on that pursuit. The encounter also pushed her to willingly defend Mariposa from her own reflection when it insulted her friend as well as volunteering to stay back as well, a start to (Rayna's) budding maturity.

Mariposa was the only one to reflect with AND reason with her reflection during the final star test, even as it was flinging barbs at her regarding her introverted nature and insecurities about fitting in. In the end, she was able to refute her inner critic in this encounter as she reasoned why the star she selected was the antidote that would save the Queen, and by extension the Kingdom. Special points to her for using her constellation knowledge to her advantage and introspecting on how the lone star is akin to her usual loner status (both with a revolutionary purpose). She is rewarded for her success with a new set of wings, a physical manifestation of this inner growth.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[tristayran]

Strange How Things Change

I’ve not attempted to write anything here for literal years, Songbook, fool that I am I found that my inspiration came and went and returned again tenfold living through all that I have in recent years.  It bears repeating that as I look through the last few pages I offered up to the powers that be for perusal I do not even recognize myself. I know logically I am the one who’s written the words but I see a Bard who’s confidence was as fragile as it proved to be, who’s trust was placed so often in the hands of those who would suit the ideals I made of men and maidens but not who they actaully were. I miss the casual friends, the ones that I simply played music for, those who I taught around the Fountain, the tastes of new lips against my own and the songs that awoke in my heart when they took time to spend with me...  What I’d write here today, is the truth of things I’ve learned since I last penned my thoughts on these archives... Chief among them, I am not cut out to love only one person, but that does not mean I did not have a half of me I was seeking... missing. I look at my old self tucked between the lines and hopes I scribbled longingly in the blank spaces, I was looking for something, needing someone, or anyone to hear that I was singing out into the void and just wishing I would hear someone singing back... I thought about the reason I grew roses, not just for mother, not just for their beauty and resilience despite their apparent delicacy, but because once when I was a boy with a Lute I’d rebuilt from discarded pieces and made into Hypernia, I was given a gift... one that I never truly could repay. My dark mirror with bloodied hands and sallow features, hungry, hurting, but still in awe of Music. Of a Tiny voice that was not just my own but theirs as well.  A Tiny Voice that was for those things that were over looked and tucked between the sentences and ramblings residing in the things I didn’t say... and should have said. He heard it... and he Answered I just didn’t know how close he was. To those I loved in all these pages, there was no point then or now that I did not love you, I felt these things, I felt them like the most meaningful fuel to my kindled heart I had ever known, you taught me that there was more, and for that I will be ever grateful even if you despise me now... even if you’ve forgotten me now... But now as I write and feel music in my fingertips, song within my soul, I know it is because my compositions are not ones I can name, or water down into their sheet or score, what I have in my life now... my Children, My mate, and all those who have given us the chance to touch their lives as they’ve touched ours... You are all a part of the music that’s come back to me and now fills my life with laughter, joy, and sorrow, and shared pain, but with an unabashed eternal love that is ever changing as the world itself. So when I return to these pages, I hope that the me from the future sees that I have known what love is, truly, unabashedly, and eternally what it is... and it’s that I will always find more within my Kintsugi Heart. -Dedicated to my Midnight, and the muses we find room for.   

[yazblogs]

4/7/22

To the man that should love me,

In my quest for love, I’ve kissed more frogs until the man that should love me can show up as the following:

The man that should love will put me first. Not just, first in a good morning text kinda way. But the first in his thoughts. He will love the better parts of me, and the not so good parts even more. He will understand my healing, my heart, my soul, and drench in my dreams. We will dive into dreams together; that kinda first.

The man that should love me will be kind. Not the kind to buy me coffee, or send me gifts, or, treat to a fancy dinner. But kind, to show up when I’m broken and hug my fears to sleep. Kind enough to help those around me and him, because no kind of money buys kindness.

The man that should love me will be gentle. And not in the way that he pulls the chair when I sit, or when he opens the doors for me, or when he puts on my jacket. But gentle to show up during my nightmares and rock me to sleep. Gentle to wipes my tears away when I fight my own worse demons.

The man that should love me, should also dream. And not power couple dream. But the type to hold my hand while I make mistakes during my fantasies lol . The man that should love me, will hold me while we both discover what dreams are made of.

The man that should love me, will be brave. And not in the way some men carry guns brave. But brave to do life with me, the kind who knows himself and his trauma enough and be brave enough to love himself either way.

The man that should love me will be fun. And not fun in the way that we splurge at nightclubs or expensive things. But fun in a way where he will hold my hand during my most craziest adventures. The kind that doesn’t turn away from endless nights of dancing or the adrenaline of climbing mountains or the loneliness of the desert.

The man that should love me will caring. And not in the way where he does everything for me. But in the way where the worse parts of me are taken care of. Those nights I can’t sleep, or the days I can’t think. Caring enough to get to know the real me, caring to know to rub my feet without me asking. Caring enough to run my bath water after an exhausting day. Caring enough to simply just care.

The man that WILL love me, will show up, as him, aware, full of flaws but ready for me.

In the meanwhile, I will mirror this so when he finds me, he sees himself in me, too 🤍

[jeannahas]

Every so often, I will think about how massively the Nausicaa books affected my personal philosophies by and approach to life: I grew up as a kid watching a lot of media with deep themes- Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Star Trek, etc- but manny things common to western media were directly challenged in Nausicaa.

Western media at the time presented war and battle as glorious- Lord of the Rings also took the time to show the desperation, the loss, but the triumph, the glory was there- although balanced by Eowyn and her descovered of the brutality of war, and how sagas do not communicate pain. I had never seen what war was like, had not gotten a perspective on the kind of loss, the kind of tragedy, that is warfare, until I read the books. The film portrays the events of the first volume, with some modifications that wrapped up the story neatly, as a single packaged unit- but those who read the books know that the story goes significantly deeper- they know the Dorok Empire, the abominations of Genecraft created and maintained at the behest of the Crypt, and the pointless nature of religious warfare, and it’s self destructive nature, as all humans innately desire connection, safety, and peace- desire community.

I was shown a world of armies- where Nausicaa explicitly ended up helping people in both sides, and this helped me to see that people, no matter the side, are people. And no matter the cause, each loss is devastating. I read and watched Nausicaa evolve from a princess of the winds to a warrior Queen, commanding ( at gunpoint) squadrons of armored horse claws and loosing all of her men- and each loss she FELT. I learned several things about deep, sincere love, and about the numbness of loss, from reading and re-reading her story.

There are moments when I truly wish that Miyazaki had had the time, finding, and creative space to take each volume and turn it into a film of its own, but also recognize that censors would likely uave prevented much of the most important aspects of those volumes from reaching their audiences back at the times that he was creating the films- but the story remains- it is there- it is deep and poignant, and at least once a month, I will sit in my favorite chair, and will contemplate humanity, our destiny, our impact- and the discourse presented in Maisicaa will rise front and center in my mind.

I understand why there are not more Nausicaa films-

But every once in a while I dream that they could be.

[aroacepanorientedopentoexplore]

I don’t rant on this blog, but one thing that people tend to forget about is when you find or change an identity you have to not only contend and solidify what that means in relation to your life but also in relation to your other identities that you already use! You have to do the work and self reflection to truly understand why you are using this term and how it impacts you on so many different levels BEFORE you can can even define it for other people and figure out how it affects your interactions with others

Thank you for reading 💜💚

~skullkitten

[jlaumadrigal]

Todo y nada a la vez

Soy el fuego que arde cuando todo parece extinguirse.

La tierra que se sostiene firme cuando tiembla el alma.

El aire que se respira aunque duela.

El agua que fluye sin romperse del todo.

He visto mi sombra sin miedo,

mis luces más puras

y aún así, me he amado completa. 💜

No pudieron quitarme:

Ni el dolor, ni la confusión,

Ni los vacíos, ni los juicios.

Porque en lo más oscuro,

Me abracé…

Me miré con curiosidad,

Y decidí no romperme… sino recordarme.

Soy todas mis versiones:

Soy la niña que ríe,

La mujer que arde,

El guerrero que resiste,

El sabio que contempla,

El alma que renace.

Cada caída ha sido una elección:

la de ir hacia dentro,

la de mirarme con compasión,

la de no juzgarme más.

Me convertí en mi propio padre, en mi propia madre,

y en la adulta que ahora me sostiene.

Cuando el mundo me falló,

Me prometí compasión,

Me prometí respeto,

Me prometí disfrutar,

Y aquí estoy: cumpliéndome.

Dentro de mí arde una llama que no pide permiso.

Que no conoce límites.

Que sabe que es infinita. ♾️

Y si el mundo no me ofrece refugio,

yo me vuelvo hogar.

Y si Dios guarda silencio,

yo me vuelvo respuesta.

Y si alguna vez olvido,

si me siento perdida,

si me invade el silencio,

recordaré esto:

“Yo soy tú, tú eres yo y entre nosotras, existe una danza infinita de posibilidades.”

[astral-the-space-traveler]

I just want to give people euphoria so blissful that it completely breaks them down, rebuilds them stronger and changes how they see the world around them for the better. I really don't think that's asking too much.

[cronachediunmatematicofallito]

Avrei bisogno di parlare, di tirare fuori quello che ho dentro, ma non ho nessuno con cui farlo senza timori

[stormiepassions]

A Return to the Good Omens Fandom Open Letter, an introspection

Not too long ago, I wrote an open letter to the Good Omens fandom about things I had seen happening within the fandom and the disappointment I had with all the negativity that had seemed to had blanketed my experience. It was wonderful to see folks in the fandom rally to try to make things better and opened discussions on various social media forums about what I had observed and a wonderful out pour of love and support to myself. It meant so much to receive that support and it was truly amazing to know that I was not alone.

I’ve never quite figured out a good way to differentiate my day to day life with my fandom life as my fandom life is real too but in this context my “real life” is the one where I’m working, going to school and raising my daughter. Real life is heavy stress. Bills and appointments and medications and insulin and blood sugars and mental health and day care and preschool and college and full time work and wanting to grow within my field and the responsibilities… this fandom, with these amazing characters and tales are, in fact, my happy place… my relax and recharge and escape real life a bit. It had lost its “happy” part of the happy place title with all the negativity I had observed.

However, since the open letter, I’ve learned a few things, this is truly an introspective.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is there is more than one side to a story and when you’re fed only one side, you’re not getting all the information to make your own decisions about the story. I’ve learned the true meaning of “two cakes” (someone finally corrected me) and I do read the same troupe told by different writers all the time. I understand it now. And I have a better understanding of plagiarism. (Thank you academic advisor at school) plagiarism is still happening within the fandom. It is a shame and it takes away from the original writer and the ingenuity and creativity they used to create their art. “Two cakes” isn’t plagiarism, taking someone’s work word for word is and I realize in the open letter I bundled these two things in together, minimizing a real problem. Plagiarism is not ok. Period.

I also learned that expectations of the writers we readers have can be unrealistic. We expect the “bigger names” to be perfect. To always be on and be grateful for all they get and never show a darker emotion (I wouldn’t say negative because emotions are just that, not positive or negative) they may have high numbers of kudos or comments, they always respond to said comments in a bright and positive manner and engage with their readers. We readers forget, they’re human. They are allowed to have opinions and feelings, even the ones that get shown in moments of insecurity and frustration. How they feel about themselves on a bad day has absolutely nothing to do with the collective “we”. That’s how they’re feeling. I’m a “little” writer. I get my usual 10-12 comments from folks per chapter and it makes me happy. A “Big writer” who gets significantly more comments ends up having a bad day and voices it does not negate my value as a writer. They’re just seriously having a shit day. The collective “we” the readers, need to remember the “Big Writers” are not immune to having moments.

Lastly, I learned you never truly know someone. I had used the term gaslighting in the Open Letter only to realize since then that gaslighting can come from people you trust and can’t actively see it happening when in the thick of it. There are people in the world that are manipulative, attention seeking and will escalate the drama if it wavers off of them including creating a fake profile and using a stock photo from the internet to show legitimacy or commenting on fics with an anonymous handle to be completely nasty to a fellow writer, or paying for a friendship just to call out bad behavior. It’s heartbreaking to be manipulated to a true breaking point. In hindsight the fandom is about 95% of fluffy goodness where that last 5% is the seedy hellish drama.

I ask anyone who reads this, to be kind to one another. We’re all here to build each other up and support one another in these trying times and have a happy place where we can talk and dream and write and draw and sculpt these beautiful characters. We have the gift of a season two being filmed which means more material to play with as fan artists.

Thank you for being here, you’re amazing.

Much love ❤️

Stormie

Find me on Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormiePassions

[tristayran]

In the vein of change being life and the hindsight of things: this new piece by the ever talented Gibiart on YCH commissions conveys most of my feelings on the whole nature of change and the way life leaves its marks in places most cannot see. Truth be told I've only ever had a Kintsugi Heart and for those who can love me with it that's what matters. And to my midnight you are the very gold-mending that flows between the cracks.

[sayon69]

Be terrified of being shallow and then prevent it. Your soul will crave to leave the body it hates, use anxiety as a signal or fuel and streamline your actions accordingly. Unluckiest persons are those who're happy with themselves. Understand the difference between happy and satisfied, being happy is not virtuous and depends on plenty of non-valuable parameters. Happiness is a pure dopamine hike. Being satisfied with the work you've done.. you've already created a small little legacy of your own, this is permanent. These small "satisfactions" will build up a huge empire someday. Keep embracing pain and train like savages.

- $AYON