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whattraintracks · 1 year ago

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My Time Has Come

In finishing TMNT 1987, I realised a few things, rewatched some episodes, realised a lot more things, and this is the product. As iztarshi mentioned, "Leonardo, the Renaissance Turtle" is another fabulous example of our Fearless Leader straight up scared, as is a personal favorite of mine, "Snakes Alive!" The moral seems to be do not leave your Leonardo alone. Until I remembered in both "Take Me to Your Leader" and "Leonardo Versus Tempestra," he's on his own for a large chunk of the action and seems fine. That's odd. Let's check the timeline.

S3 E15 - Take Me to Your Leader

S4 E35 - Leonardo Versus Tempestra

S4 E41 - Unidentified Flying Leonardo

S5 E17 - Leonardo, the Renaissance Turtle

S6 E13 - Snakes Alive!

Oh, snap. I know the numbers are different depending on where you look, but as far as I can tell, the order is always the same. That's unexpectedly consistent. Let's write that essay now, shall we?

In "Take Me to Your Leader," Leonardo leaves the team behind. He's having horrible nightmares about them all getting hurt because of his own failures. A combination of sleep deprivation, stress, and paranoia leaves him pretty out of sorts and clumsy, which only adds to his feelings of inadequacy, and he's caught in a feedback loop until he decides to leave the lair for good. Once he's out on his own, he's certainly dejected but truly seems to believe the team is better off without him. That is, he's not afraid for the guys or about being on his own. The reason he turns around is that the bridge he wants to take out of town collapses with the snow Shredder and Krang's latest scheme has generated, and some dude accidentally guilt trips into taking responsibility for stopping them. He returns to the team, they rally, make a plan, and save the day. Go Green Machine. When he saves Michelangelo and Raphael, he quips about knowing they'd get into trouble without him, which is not true but, okay, Leonardo, whatever you say. In the closing scene, he tells Master Splinter he learned that duty comes before his doubts. These are super important to remember as we move forward.

Again in "Leonardo Versus Tempestra," he leaves the team behind when he sneaks out to an arcade by himself. He's a little manic about beating Tempestra's Revenge, but he's not afraid. Yet. Even when Tempestra escapes the game, he's just confused. He doesn't get scared until he realises she's a threat. Cam Clarke uses this particular tone for Leonardo when he's scared, and it comes out pretty quickly in his fight with Tempestra once he realises, "Oh, I've screwed up. I'm about to die, the world is about to end, and I am alone." He frantically calls the others for help. Tempestra thwarts his efforts, and Leonardo watches as his teammates are trapped. At this point, you might expect to find him paralysed with fear, but he turns around to face her as cool as a cucumber. He calmly negotiates, taunts her, and makes jokes to the camera. You could argue that just talking to the other turtles was enough to settle him, but I'd think, given how poorly he perceives they handled themselves without him in TMtYL, he should be more freaked out now, not less. Now he's got to save them, himself, and the world! That's a lot for one turtle. But Leonardo holds Tempestra off single-handedly, makes a plan to save them all, and, with April's services as a taxi, jets off to take her down. Except for when April drives them off a cliff, his scared voice doesn't reappear. Pretty impressive for a turtle who, a handful of episodes later, will be shaking in his nonexistent boots in a cornfield.

So, clearly, something happens between LvT and UFL that exacerbates Leonardo's anxiety astronomically. What life-shattering, traumatising event occurs between these two episodes? "Splinter Vanishes." That's right, Leonardo and his team, his family, all still teenagers mind you, spend two weeks fending for themselves after their Sensei and guardian abandons them and tells them they must leave home and each other. It's significant that, once again, Leonardo leaves. He's the one who convinces everyone to listen to Splinter's last instructions. It's not the first time he's left knowing it might be permanent, but this situation is very different from TMtYL. After being separated from his support system and thrust into adult life with no warning or help, Leonardo gets attacked by Leatherhead and sent plummeting to his death. Given the events of this episode, I'm pretty sure his cool-as-a-cucumber Hero Leader attitude is a facade specifically crafted to fill the other turtles with confidence. He is so cocky when he unexpectedly shows up alive to save the other turtles. But just like in LvT, his teammates are in serious trouble and can't help him, so not only does he feel responsible for bringing the villain(s) of the week to justice, but he probably feels like he needs to be brave for them. It's those lessons he learned in TMtYL over and over again.

Splinter returns, and the mean, green team is back together. But Leonardo continues to break my heart when he asks, sounding oh so nervous and small and young, "Are we together? Master?" Because Leonardo still trusts him so much. Is still willing to obey even when it actively hurts him, actively hurts his brothers, because Splinter will always be their Sensei, right? Even if he doesn't want them, even if he leaves, Leonardo will remain loyal to his Master's instructions.

I get Splinter’s intentions, I do, and this was all pretty typical Splinter stuff. I'm definitely getting too emotionally invested in a children's cartoon, but gosh dang it, that episode has always made me so sad. Like, Splinter, they're kids. If you want to lure the Rat King and Leatherhead out into the open, let the boys in and tell them. It's not enough to say after that it was pretend and you were watching all along, they needed that reassurance and security two weeks ago. And Raphael voices this exact concern. But no, Splinter wanted to, what, let them experience what it was like to be apart? Appreciate how vital it is that they remain together? No. No! Do you know what you did, Master Splinter? You ruined a perfectly good ninja turtle, is what you did. Look at Leonardo, he's got separation anxiety! Splinter is not allowed to teach any more lessons in togetherness.

You guys, I went into this thinking there'd be some mildly interesting connections to make. I did not think I would be adding "Splinter Vanishes" to the list of reasons why Leonardo needs professional help, and all of these turtles are massively traumatised. Oh my gosh, you guys. I was over here thinking his fight with Tempestra must have been so traumatising it screwed him up for at least the next two seasons, which is still possible, but oh my gosh, immediately after that episode is "Splinter Vanishes"???? No wonder Leonardo freaks out on his own. TWO WEEKS. I'm going to sob.

Okay, alright, let's look at the next few episodes and see if this holds.

Given Leonardo's trust for Master Splinter remains intact, it makes sense that he accepts Splinter's directive to go after April on his own in "Unidentified Flying Leonardo," but it's also not surprising how quickly he breaks down. He's left the team behind plenty of times now, but this is the first time he's left them since SV. Some freaky stuff happens in the aforementioned cornfield, but unlike LvT, there aren’t any actual threats before he hits his breaking point. He generally seems okay until he gets lost, and this is where Clarke breaks out the scared voice. We can look back and see that a lot of Leonardo's confidence in LvT and SV does come from being on his home turf, but that still doesn’t seem like a serious enough threat to warrant how panicked he is. Unless we consider that in his mind, getting stranded and being unable to contact his family is most certainly a threat worthy of panic after the events of SV. So yeah, when he calls for help and discovers he’s out of range, everything goes downhill. He jumps to conclusions, his flight instincts overwhelm his discipline, he's off-balance, and he makes sloppy mistakes. As he's being chased by an entire town with vehicles, he doesn't think to take April's van and drive it away, instead he hoofs it across multiple fields. Like TMtYL, he's stuck in this loop of panic and paranoia and just wearing himself out. Thankfully, @snoftshell-snurtle is 100% correct. Billy Jim Bob McJames (the guy with a truck full of hay) saves Leonardo's life, feeds him some pizza, offers him information, and agrees to drive him wherever. With that, Leonardo is back to his Hero Leader cool-as-a-cucumber self. Once the other guys show up, he's even able to come up with a plan, and together they stop the bad guy.

Overall, the pattern I'm noticing is Leonardo is alone, he identifies a threat, he calls for help, and his call goes unanswered for some reason or another. Before SV, the unanswered call doesn't deter him, and he shoulders the burden himself. After SV, he falls apart until he gets the support he needs. That's not to say he does nothing. But unlike LvT, where his goal the whole time was to stop Tempestra and save the guys and all of his actions and planning were to support that goal, in UFL, he spent most of the episode just trying to survive until help arrived in the form of a compassionate stranger. Getting stuck in survival mode is very much a product of trauma he's experienced. Yes, the stuff with Tempestra but more significantly from being abandoned by Splinter and stranded from his team.

I really liked rewatching "Leonardo, the Renaissance Turtle" with all this in mind. With this new robocop LEX, the turtles are getting pushed out of the crime-fighting business. This freaks Leonardo out, who, since TMtYL, really relies on having this specific purpose in his life. The other turtles, however, are thrilled, and they leave him. Every time he's been alone before, it's been an active decision on his part, even in SV, he was reluctant, but it was his choice. Clarke doesn't quite break out the scared voice yet, but it's a close thing. Some time passes before we see Leonardo again. He's just barely avoided getting stuck in survival mode since he's stayed in familiar territory and thanks to April, as @iztarshi put it, playing turtle emotional support (feeding him, keeping him company). But he's clearly stressed, perhaps depressed, and certainly paranoid. He's reached the stage where he's accepted that his team is gone, and whatever happens, he'll have to handle it on his own. Leonardo's paranoia unfortunately pays off as LEX threatens him and April, and this is the point where he enters survival mode and, interestingly, restarts the pattern.

Unlike previous episodes, this particular pattern or sequence of behaviors from Leonardo is disrupted and repeated multiple times in this episode. In the first instance, Leonardo is metaphorically alone in his assessment of LEX as a threat to their work but really to his own perceived purpose and identity, and his call for help is him trying to get the others to agree, but they are dismissive and then leave. Compare this to LvT, where they initially dismiss his concerns but quickly come around, and Leonardo is reassured they're safe and would help him if they could. Compare also to UFL, where he thinks the others don't know where he is and that he's in danger. April provides as much support as she can, but the cycle is only ever complete once the team reunites and removes the threat together, and this doesn't happen. So, like the stages of grief, Leonardo bounces between them until he can reach a resolution. Now Leonardo is physically alone, LEX is a physical threat to his well-being, and when he calls for help, their comm system is down. He does get a hold of Raphael and Michelangelo, but again they're dismissive of his concerns, and he accidentally breaks the connection in his distress. Firmly in the survival stage, Leonardo is off-balance, clumsy, and unable to think straight. Now would be a really good time to get some support, but even that blows up in his face. So he calls for help again, but all he gets is Donatello's jarringly cheery voicemail greeting. Finally, Clarke breaks out the scared voice. Despite everything he's gone through, it took this long, which makes sense, given we’re in season 5 now. He's likely gained some coping mechanisms, but not enough to avoid the panic completely.

Leonardo's continued efforts to get help and protect himself are impeded, and his scared voice keeps getting worse as he descends further and further into panic, but he keeps going because he can't do anything else. At this point, the other turtles finally realise something is wrong and come back just in time to find . . . that Leonardo has actually resolved the threat on his own. This diverges entirely from previous episodes! It's so remarkable Donatello literally remarks on it. April has been his cheerleader all episode, but even she's surprised and impressed. We don't go completely off script, in the closing scene, Splinter and the guys reaffirm to Leonardo that he is skilled and capable beyond the niche he's created for himself in the team. His initial concerns and the perceived threat to his identity and usefulness and all that good stuff are resolved, as they always are, together. Still, this marks a turning point for Leonardo and segues nicely into the last episode I want to look at.

Unlike previous episodes, in "Snakes Alive!" the primary threat isn't the villain but Leonardo's snake phobia and his loneliness is a product of hiding his fear from the team. He's still hanging on to that lesson from TMtYL that the guys depend on him to lead, so he's not honest with them about his fear and instead tries to distract them and spends most of their time together dragging his feet. But it’s hard to hide that you're terrified when your scared voice creeps out every time someone mentions snakes, and you can't even say the word without a voice crack. The others aren't used to seeing Leonardo in survival mode like this and are understandably confused. He passes out, gets separated from the team, flings himself out a window, and rams into April's van in a panicked haze. When he comes across another threat with April and Vernon unrelated to snakes, we see the progress he made in LtRT, and he confidently handles it on his own. Checking back in with the guys, we find Michelangelo a little hopeful they'll be saved, but Donatello convinced Leonardo won't be able to. Interesting that here and in LtRT, Donatello seems to have the least faith in Leonardo's ability to resolve things on his own. But neither does Leonardo, who, even after speaking to Master Splinter, is despondent. The plot is thankfully saved by a bunch of kids who call him a chicken and later by the villain who claims snakes are superior to turtles in every way, which snaps him out of paralysis both times. Much like LtRT, he's too panicked to really come up with a plan, so he just brute forces his way to save the guys. Donatello is again quite shocked Leonardo did it by himself. The minute he's reunited with them, all is balanced and well with the universe, and he thinks up a plan to save the day. He doesn't seem to be afraid of the snakes anymore, but the closing scene makes it clear the fear is not totally gone, just assuaged when he's with his team. Leonardo is always going to do his best to be their Fearless Leader, even if he's not a fearless turtle.

tl;dr In the episodes examined above, Leonardo exhibits similar behavioral patterns whenever he is alone and threatened. This pattern is disrupted and reshaped by various traumatic experiences and thus makes an excellent marker for how he changes as a character throughout the series.

In the 1987 tv series Leonardo is a good leader and team player but "Unidentified Flying Leonardo" demonstrates that alone he is an on-fire trainwreck of a teenage mutant ninja turtle. In this essay I will

#y'all i didn't actually plan on writing an essay but like wow #thank you middle of the night writing itch #cam clarke frickin nails leonardo's terrified voice it's one of may fav parts of the series honestly #pls don't get me wrong i love 87 splinter he has more great episodes than not i'm just a little more salty about splinter vanishes now #misc observations and conclusions:#leonardo has always had sleep issues and general anxiety #the others always end up captured and/or trapped in the leonardo-centric eps lololol #leonardo is consistently unaware of how deeply traumatised and afraid he is #leonardo hamato #tmnt 1987 #tmnt #whattrainofthought

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arty-chase · 4 years ago

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A Failed Betrothal (6)

Here is a new chapter for you guys. I am terrible at writing feelings and this is my best shot.😅 Tell me what you think.

[Masterlist]

(PART 1)(PART 5)

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(Words in bold is French)

“Tch, Drake is going to be busy trying to find Hawkmoth. He can’t go around Paris, being Dupain-Cheng’s boyfriend. Besides, he can’t be a proper boyfriend even in his most lucid moments. I will be her boyfriend instead.”

Tim was glad he didn’t take a sip of his coffee when Damian volunteered to be Marinette’s boyfriend. But he still choked on air. Jason with his limited knowledge of french was confused. Damian didn’t do what he heard, right?

“No, you can’t. Chloe already told them about Tim. If I come in with a different boyfriend, they would get suspicious. We can work on Hawkmoth while we go on those dates. Besides, I thought you don’t like me. That’s not going to sell the image of a loving couple.” Marinette pointed out. (She also doesn’t want to do this fake-date thing. Not because she likes Damian and she had always been a goner for green eyes and totally would be date him if it weren’t for some stupid curse dictating her feelings for him and fake-dating him might get her catch feelings for him and she would get her heart broken when this is all over and she would stay single forever and be a lonely old lady with hamsters and cats for company.)

“Actually, Mari-bug, I only told the class how romantic your boyfriend is. I never told them what he looked like. Just in case, Timothy couldn’t make it. I have back-up favors to cash in.” Chloe explained.

Marinette didn’t even know why she was surprised at that, this was Chloe after all.

“You have more than one American boy around our age in your debt who you intend to be my boyfriend? Sounds like you, Queenie. So that also means that Damian doesn’t have to do it if he doesn’t want to.”

“My offer still stands. I will be your ‘boyfriend’ before I have to go back. I will be more understanding than those other American boys when you have to rush out for an attack. That is to assume that they can come here or agree. In our initial meeting, I didn’t like that weak girl act you put up. Recent events have made me realize that you are a much stronger person. (Careful Damian, that sounds like a compliment.) You are a decent partner to date.(Shit. Shit. Shit. That wasn’t a compliment, right?)”

Damian couldn’t see why Dupain-Cheng would refuse such a good deal. He supposed her feelings might be still hurt from his first impression of her. He would give her an apology when they are alone and away from his brothers who would make a big deal of it.

“Fine. At least, the curse will at least make this fake couple thing more believable.” grumbled Marinette. The light pink blush on her face is not because he said she was someone he would date.

Oh right, the curse. He swore internally, it had possessed him to be Dupain-Cheng’s boyfriend. He now would have to endure the hand-holding, kissing and staring into each other’s eyes, and try to resist the curse which will be much harder now. Somehow, he didn’t regret it a little bit. It sounds more bearable with him doing those things with her than her with Drake. This was just a mutual agreement to ward off her suitors and prove to her classmates that she was off the market.

Chloe clapped her hands,“If we have everything sorted out, you can start being a good boyfriend by walking Marinette to school today. We want to be on time now.”

The others started packing up their stuff or finished what they were eating. Marinette was dragged out of the bakery by an impatient Damian. Chloe and Alix picked up what Marinette left behind and followed out. The rest soon left right after, leaving the two boys in the bakery.

“Hey, Replacement, tell me if I am wrong but did Demon Spawn willingly ask a girl out?” Jason asked, stealing a croissant from Tim.

“Try making himself the perfect candidate to be her fake boyfriend out of many choices, including me, and get her to agree to it. Now he has to go on a few romantic dates with Marinette in order to ward off this really pushy guy in her class. Demon Spawn also has a crush on her and he’s in denial of it. We are not hallucinating either. I’ve checked.” Tim replied, sipping his coffee.

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“Damian. Let go. Hey, Wayne, are you listening to me? Let me go. This is not how you treat your significant other. And you are not even going in the right direction.” Marinette all but yelled at him.

He released his grip on her. “My apologies for manhandling you but I wanted to tell you this away from everybody else.”

“What?” She asked, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

I- This is a little difficult to say for me,” Damian started. (Why were his palms sweaty? It’s just an apology. He had done it before although it was mostly because Grayson told him what he did wrong and made him do it.) “But I am sorry for calling you weak, pathetic and every other bad thing I have said about you when you have shown that you are anything but those. I was mad at myself for being caught and took it out on you.”

Her glare softened.

“Apologies accepted. The school is this way.” She said with a smile and went towards the school. Damian walked by her side, his hands in his pockets.

Marinette looked at where his hands were, “If we are going to do this fake dating thing, I suggest we hold hands.”

Damian grabbed her hand and continued walking in silence. Her hands were so small and fitted perfectly in his. Oh God, it’s the curse again. Turning him into a sap. Do not think about her hands. And the fact that she took down a man twice her size with them which was an amazing sight to watch.

“Why are you so stiff? Loosen up a little. You are with the love of your life. Smile a little.”

Damian plastered on a fake smile, “Happy?”

“It looks fake. Being a model he will be able to tell.” Marinette remarked, “Are you sure you want to do this? We can still go get Tim to be my boyfriend.”

“I can do this. Drake wouldn’t be a better choice. It doesn’t help that you are relentlessly nit-picking me. Or are you that bad of a girlfriend?” Damian couldn’t help but sniped back. “Maybe that’s why Chat Noir left you.”

He found himself back against the world and her elbow at his neck. (He would forever deny that he liked it.)

“Look here, Wayne. You know nothing about me and you shouldn’t assume that you do. Chat Noir was revoked of his status as a hero for his behaviour. If you don’t act the part properly, I am going to have my former partner, who has absolutely no sense of boundaries, harassing me in my civilian life and I have already dealt enough of his advances to last a lifetime. I have given you so many chances to get out of this which you refused and yet, you are half-assing it. So are you in this 100 percent or not? Because I am at the end of my patience right now.”

“The boy who is obsessed with you is the former Chat Noir?”

“Yes, I will explain about that later but what’s your answer?”

“I will give it my best shot but I have never pretended to be in love.”

“Were you not taught in the League?”

“There were seduction tactics shown to members when they were old enough and I left them when I was 10 but I am not sure if those skills can be applied here.”(Slamming your opponent against the wall wasn’t one of them but she was doing a great job of it so far. No. No. No. He is not his father. This is different from whatever he has with Kyle.)

She released her hold on him and grabbed his hand, leading him towards her school.

“Well then, here are the basics. Everytime you look at me, just think of your favourite things to make your smile a little more genuine. Maybe call me by a pet name if you want. Keep your touch on me like you can’t keep your hands off of me and act really reluctant when you have to let go. You will only keep them my shoulders, arms, hands and waist or I will break your hand. I will do the same. If you are going to have to kiss me, give me a warning.” He looked into her blue eyes and nodded.

“Alright.”

“Oh. I almost forgot. In case they try to question our relationship. My favourite colour is red. My favourite song is ‘Fearless’ by Jagged Stone.(I love Taylor. Sue me) And we met online a few months ago. You came all the way to Paris to see me a month ago and asked me out. We will talk more that later. Oh, I also love designing and have dreams of being a famous fashion designer.-”

Marinette rambled on which Damian found a little endearing. He looked forward to knowing more about her. He added a few comments here or there about himself (because it was only fair.) and ways to improve their cover story about their relationship.

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“We are nearly at school. Let’s start the act, Romeo.” Marinette whispered at him and looked at him with a bright smile that brought a tiny smile to his face. Okay, maybe he liked Marinette a little bit but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with her.

He moved her hand holding his to the crook of his elbow.

“Is this acceptable, my lady?”

She wrinkled her nose, (Adorable. No. Don’t go there) “This is fine. But can you not call me that? And princess too? I may have erased his memories as Chat Noir but it could be a trigger to bring them back.”

“Understandable. What about Malak?”

She blushed. Marinette had learned Arabic a while back and was very fluent in the language.

“It’s okay.” She said in a soft voice. She put her other hand on his bicep and leaned on his shoulder.

“You don’t look like a touchy-feely person so is this fine?”

“Yes.”

“Cool, let me tell you more about the atrocious lies that had passed her mouth.”

They walked into the school courtyard, arm-in-arm, for the entire school, especially Marinette’s class, to see. The perfect picture of a loving couple. Marinette’s blush from earlier was evident on her face, leaving no room for doubt about her new relationship status. (Many guys, gals and pals were upset over it.) As they both walked up the stairs, whispering and laughing about who knows what (gulliable and idiotic classmates they have to suffer learning with), two pairs of green eyes followed them.

In this case, the saying ‘green-eyed monsters’ was true. One was envious of the boy who held the girl he wanted in his arms and the other was envious of the attention the couple was receiving.

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Damian escorted Marinette to her class. He gave her a kiss on her cheek and said, loud enough for the class to hear, “Bye, Malak. I will pick you up after school for our date.”

“B-bye, Damian.”

He took her hand, gave a kiss to the back of it and departed, leaving a very red-faced Marinette behind. The rest of the class parted the way as Damian walked past.

She rushed into her seat where Chloe sat beside it, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“Sooooo, Mari-bug, how was your date? You two rushed out of there so quickly and left your stuff behind. So eager to spend time with your boyfriend, eh? You enjoyed it very much by the looks of it.”

“Sorry about that, Chloe. Did you bring my bag and the cheese danishes?” Marinette tried to change the topic. And she also wanted to make sure a god of destruction doesn’t go hungry and angsty during school. “Yep, here you go,” Chloe said, handing Marinette her bag and a box of cheese-flavoured snacks for Plagg, “Your mom packed some for you.”

“Marinette. Where have you been the last two days? And you came back with a boy. I am honestly worried about your behaviour.” Lila played the concerned classmate wonderfully.

“Yeah, Marinette. This is a new low, even for you.” Alya added.

Marinette readied herself to tell the cover story Damian and her worked out on the way here.

“Lila, I appreciate your ‘concern’. But the last four days have been a little hard on me so excuse me if I am a little snappy today. You see, Damian disappeared and didn’t return home after school on Friday. So when he didn’t pick up for our weekly video call, I panicked and called his family and they told me what happened. They sent me a plane to get out of Paris so I can’t get akumatized.”

“Was that why you were gone on Saturday?” Chloe asked, playing along although she already knew why Marinette wasn’t in Paris the last four days.

“Yeah. Sorry for not telling you guys. It was sorta last minute. Thankfully, he wasn’t kidnapped actually. His biological mother picked him up but never told his father that she was taking him. I just came back last night. Dami followed me to make sure I am okay.”

“What a bunch of bullcrap.” Alya said, “I don’t believe you.”

Oh. The irony... “Alya, I don’t care if you do. My life is my own business. So keep your nosy nose out of it. Your opinions don’t matter to me anymore, stranger.” Marinette internally was tired of this silly routine and wanted this to end already.

Alya wanted to pick a fight with her over the smallest things she did for the past months. She wondered why her former best friend hated her this much.

“Lila told me that you were skipping school and you paid an actor to be your pretend boyfriend.”

Pretending to not hear what Alya said, Marinette turned towards Chloe, “Hey, you never told me about how you met Tim. I can’t believe that you two are friends.”

“We met at one of those charity galas-”

“Hey, we were talking to you.” Alya cut her off. To which Chloe glared at the ombre-haired girl.

“I thought our conversation was done. What else am I supposed to say?”

Marinette was frustrated and hid that fact well, showing any reaction would give the game away. If she had reacted, it would further fuel the fire of Alya’s self-righteousness, making her believe that Marinette was somehow guilty of what Lila told her about. Lila managed to turn nearly the entire class against her by appealing to their ‘hero’ side and outbursts from Marinette and the others made them more sure of themselves of being in the right. It was so deep-rooted that nothing would sway them to logical reasoning. Maybe except Phase 2. Phase 1 was made a little easier when Talia kidnapped her and made her miss a few days of school.

Phase 2 was to not acknowledge the lies or just appear uninterested. It would illustrate the point that people don’t have to listen to them if they don’t want to. If possible, sow little seeds of doubt to the ones Lila had a looser grip on. The more people they can slowly get on their side, the better.

Alya was confused, usually Marinette would throw a ‘temper tantrum’ about how she didn’t do that and Lila lied.“I-, you should-, You should apologize to Lila.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow, “For what this time?”

“For saying that she was lying.”

“Pray tell, when did in any of our conversations so far did I do that? I mean I don’t like the fact that she just accused me with little evidence of paying my someone to be my boyfriend but I am not going to fight with anyone over it. Maybe I did do that, Maybe I didn’t. Maybe there is a good reason I did those things. The thing is Lila should keep to her own business and I will keep to mine. And as should you. I know you are a reporter at heart but you should at the very least respect my privacy.”

Alya stayed silent, fuming. Everyone was looking at them now. She realized that the designer was right and if she pushed further, she would be the bad guy.

“I thought so. Now, go away. I have nothing else to say to you. Let Chloe finish her story of how she met Tim which you so rudely interrupted.”

“Who’s Tim?” Lila asked, wanting to know more about Marinette’s boyfriend to work on an angle to get him away from the ravenette.

“Mari-Bug’s boyfriend’s older brother. Now, shoo peasants, we are talking. Anyways, Mommy took me to when I was younger so I could mingle with all the other rich kids and get connections. Timothy was there and back then, he was still with the Drakes...”

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Lila and Alya returned to their seats, both were visibly upset although Lila was seething inside. When Marinette was not at school for the last two days, the Italian thought that it was the last she had seen of her. Today, she showed up with a handsome boy on her arm and by the looks of his clothes, rich too. If she manages to get ‘Damian’ to break up with that pest and date her instead, then she would have a rich, handsome boyfriend devoted to her and that brat would be so heart-broken that an akuma so powerful would be made that even Ladybug won’t be able to defeat. A two for one deal. Lila started planning (scheming) to take her boyfriend away.

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(Part 7)

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Edit: I am so sorry. I forget to add the taglist.

Tag list: @alysrose-starchild, @buginetye, @lookatthestars1, @blackroserelina, @macncheesemonster, @mochinek0, @myazael, @tonicxworld, @thewitchwhowaited, @t1dwarrior-of-earth, @kissa-chan, @iwantasecretidentity, @theymakeupfairies, @user00000003, @woe-is-me0, @kashlyn, @mochegato,@moonlightstar64 , @greatcatblaze, @moongoddesskiana, @tazanna-blythe. @tonicxworld, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @frieddonutsweets, @local-witch-of-mn, @lady-bee-fechin, @iglowinggemma28, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @k-tea-and-coffee, @jayjayspixiepop, @all-mights-asscheeks, @idk-j-go-with-it , @loysydark, @thenillabean, @lolieg, @zalladane, @silvergold-swirl, @henie04, @blueblossombliss, @khneltea, @mochegato, @itsmeevie01, @roguishredaxion, @alyssadeliv, @steph-hearthlight, @adrestar, @eliza-bich, @abrx2002, @hikari55ttva, @doglover82, @daminette5074, @moon5608,@justafanwarrior, @allis-sun, @animegirlweeb, @aespades, @corporeal-terrestrial, @mildlydeadly, @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl,

#damian x marinette #maribat #ml x dc #daminette #mlb x dc #a failed betrothal #betrothal au: take 2

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shinidamachu · 5 years ago

Note

Any Inukag fanfictions you recommend?

Yes, of course! I love telling people what to do.

A while ago an anon asked me about my favorites so I made a list. And here’s a small, slightly angst complementary one. I’ll be taking this opportunitiy to update these lists with the fanfictions I’ve read recently or the ones I for whatever reason didn’t put in the other two. Hope you enjoy!

Confession of a Hopeless Attraction by @goshinote: pining Inuyasha at its best! The little details about Inuyasha and Kagome’s personalities in this AU made it all even more adorable.

26 Days of Smutmas by @notkorras: merry christmas, here’s some dirty stuff! I love the concept of this. Every chapter it’s totally different AU and it never gets boring. Super fun to read if you’re into NSFW but it has some fluff and some angst too!

Slave to Your Heart by @shnuggletea: it is a bit dark, so be sure to check the warnings first. If you’re cool with it, though, I’m 100% sure it will keep your attention. It certainly kept mine.

Welcome Home by @akitokihojo: nothing better than Inukag reunion fics, no matter the universe. And this. One. Delivers. Also: “I missed you” sex. 1000/10.

Hex: I'm With The Band by @goshinote: listen, I’d die for rockstar Inuyasha. L i s t e n! Also the angst it’s just... good fucking food.

First Impressions by @mamabearcat: this is just so straight up good and sweet? It kind of reminds me of Friends a little bit because it felt so comforting! Love it!

Poolin' Around by @keichanz: excellency smut from the queen herself! Enjoy!

It was Love at First Bite, Kagome by @fawn-eyed-girl: take one pint of rivals to lovers, add a half pound of comedy and NSFW. Hungry yet? You will be.

The Best Laid Plans for Getting Laid by @neutronstarchild: oh my Gosh, this is hilarious in the best of ways, but also pretty damn hot! Trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

Shameless by @noviceotakus-blog: this is porn. I don’t know what else to tell you, except: it’s mind blowing porn.

Lessons by @akitokihojo: you simply can’t write such an amazing BDSM bit and not be a wizard of sorts. Tell us your secrets. I’m still shooketh.

The Half-Demon Prince and the Curse of Four Paws by @neutronstarchild: this is one of those fics that just make you melt. It could easily be a Disney movie.

Fearless by @keichanz: Inuyasha and kids are a weak spot of mine. It’s just not fair how fucking lovely this oneshot is. Please have mercy, I’m only a woman.

Midnight Bruises by wolfdancer333: goddamn, would you take a look at this masterpiece? The grasp this author has on Inuyasha and Kagome it’s insane!

Sky and Earth by Drake_Rhapsody: an absolute jam! The writing it’s both heartbreaking and breathtaking.

She's Mine by shantie84: your classic mating story, complete with Demon!Inuyasha making some appearences. A little bit of angst. Lots and lots of sex.

Into You by @lavendertwilight89: another one for pining Inuyasha because I just love it to death. It’s an awesome AU and I’ll definitely reread it sometime.

Secondary Transmission of Disinformation by @superpixie42: the tittle looks pretty serious but don’t let it fool ya. It’s one of the funniest things I have ever read. Also: make up sex. Plus the characterization is flawless.

Stay With Me Until Sunrise by @neutronstarchild: I can’t even say anything coherent, I just want to scream in delight! Another perfect one!

The Warlord's Tribute by @omgitscharlie: drop everything you’re doing. Read this fanfiction. Thank me later (I like money).

Everything by @superpixie42: this fic has everything I love: make up sex... Yes, I was listing things I love. Yeas, I am done. That’s the whole list.

Given by @dangerouspompadour: the smut was so good I wanted to cry, my dude. Still having trouble to accept this isn’t canon. In my heart it is.

If You Dare... by @fawn-eyed-girl: another christmas season fanfiction! The plot is so clever and the whole story is super entertaining! The Inukag dynamics is just adorable!

152 notes · View notes

tanakavox · 4 years ago

Text

here guys. This reaction was done @bssaz97 again. And that's it for the author's note.

"I miss baby Zwei!" Weiss sulked.

"We know Weiss, you've been saying that for the past ten minutes," Blake's vein appeared on her head.

"Why can't we see more of him! He was so cute and innocent!" Weiss crosses her arms and huffs..

"He spent the entire time antagonizing me!" Jaune replied.

"He can never do wrong." Weiss cemented in her mind.

"Forget it VB, she's a lost cause." Yang told her fellow blonde.

"Well let's see what this next viewing has in store for us all." Ren calmly stated.

The screen shows Jaune on Planet Namek facepalming.

"Urgh, what was that idiot DOING bringing me here!" He mutters before turning to look around his eyes widening. "It's... Wait a minute, I can feel it... This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields, the crystal clear waters, the wind brushing past my... GOD, THIS IS BORING!" He yelled out before groaning. "No wonder I feel at home."

"We're back to Namek!" Ruby shouted in excitement.

"And there's alien Jaune-Jaune!" Nora jumped in.

"Wait isn't this the world where Cinder is supposed to be really powerful?" Jaune asked.

"...oh crud/shit." Many of the original audience replied. Those who were new to the theater didn't exactly understand what they meant but supposed they would eventually see why.

The scene cuts to Cinder confronting Mercury, Oscar, Neptune, and Trifa

"Oh hell yeah! Emerald wake up, we're back in the world where I'm a badass prince!" Mercury says as he shakes her shoulder.

Emerald loudly snores.

"Hey! You said to wake you when 'the snooze fest' was over."

"Not… interested." Emerald conveniently snored.

"Emerald, you will watch this viewing." Cinder orders.

"Yes Cinder!" Emerald miraculously much more awake.

"Wooow." Mercury drawls, shaking his head in genuine disappointment.

"Shut it!" Emerald hissed.

Cinder smiles coldly at them. "Well, Mercury. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see." she turns to look at the rest of the group.

"Quack!"

"Neptune, seriously, not helping!" Oscar said ebowing him.

"I can try."

"I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?" Cinder asks calmly.

"Don't you snitch!" Nora shouted at the screen.

"We're from rem-" Neptune started before Oscar stopped him.

"Neptune, no!"

"Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Oscar. 'Cause I can't shut-."

"They're from Remnant." Trifa deadpanned.

"Traitor!" Ruby glared at the girl on the screen. Her anger was shared by many in the audience. Whether good or bad.

Blake was feeling the same amount of betrayal twice after remembering how Trifa was one of Ada-his agents sent to kidnap her in the past.

" Little bow girl, why?!" Neptune shouted out in disbelief.

"Because my name is Trifa."

Nora huffed, "Well maybe your name should little bi-!"

"Nora please." Ren asked his oldest friend and companion to let it go.

"'Sigh.' Fine, but I'm still mad." Nora said.

"Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!" Cinder screamed at them before calming here. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID." She said with barely contained rage.

"Oh, Cinder. Quit being such a bitch. I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it." Mercury said mocking with a smirk.

"Yep. Sucks to suck!" Yang stayed for both Cinder's in the audience and on screen.

"Care to say that to my face." Cinder stood up.

"Whoa now One Eye Cinder. We can't fight here, remember, so I can say whatever I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Yang explains with a toothy grin.

Cinder growls, but reluctantly sat back down as she began to curse this theater's damned rules.

"Yes, Mercury. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it." Cinder charges at Mercury and engages him in battle with a battle cry.

Scene cuts to Jaune flying through the sky

"Hey we were getting to the good part!" Mercury shouted.

"And what part would that exactly be Mercury?" Cinder asked directly.

"The fight scene, what else." He said nonchalantly.

Cinder stared at him for a moment before looking back at the screen. Mercury was one of the few people that she could tolerate back talking to her so she paid it no mind.

"Everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet!" He thinks and sighs before he sees something on the ground. "Wait a minute, a body! SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" Jaune yells as he yells flying down and landing next to a body, which was Hazel. "Please tell me you're not dead!"

Hazel begins to speaks in Namekian/Klingon

"What the hell is he saying?" Coco asked.

"It appears he is attempting to communicate with Mr. Arc's alternate in their native tongue." Ozpin rationalized.

"Do you know what he's saying Jaune?" Velvet asked.

"Velvet, I think Ozpin means-."

Velvet giggles before she starts laughing. Her team along with his shortly after.

Jaune was staring at them confusedly before his eyes widened in realization. He chuckled while rolling his eyes, "Oh haha, very funny Velvet."

Ruby just stared at the exchange expressionless, the joke was funny but for some reason she didn't want to laugh. Weird.

"Ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles- and he's so broken he can't even talk right."

" I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?" Hazel gasps out, barely holding on to life.

"Well, we're demons, right?" Jaune asks hopefully.

"Eh, more like slug people."

"Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon."

"And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?"

"Let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole."

Jaune and many of the other male audience members bowed their heads in silence for loss bestowed on the Namekian people.

"Yeesh! Port's a bit of a dick in this one… or lack thereof," Yang quipped.

"YANG!"

"Too soon?" Yang winced.

"Preachin' to the choir on that one." Jaune agreed, an image of Ozpin showing in his head. "Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again…" He turns to leave.

Jaune mentally groaned as he remembered that in this world his life was the one entwined with Ozpin. Also he no more thrilled about the prospect of seeing his alternate die (again?) in a way that could've been easily avoided.

"Dang Arc, you're a bit sassy in this world, huh?" Coco asked.

"And green with antennas." Velvet whispered to Fox.

"Ahhh," Fox nodded, getting a clue of what the counterpart looked like.

"Wait. I might be able to help you." gasped out Hazel.

"Look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago." Jaune turns to left again.

"What's MySpace?" Oscar asked.

"Beats me, but it sounds mega old." Yang commented.

Ozpin, Glynda, Qrow and even Winter winced at Yang's unintentional jab at them. All of them who used to own MySpace accounts.

Salem just looked confused at the mention of these names. 'What's a MySpace and Spacebook? Is it a form of communication?' She thought to herself.

"No, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely."

"DESPERA-, I mean, go on."Jaune said, getting yells before switching back to a normal tone.

"There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans."

"And we're just going to abuse it?" Jaune asked

"Oh, maliciously!" Hazel said with a grin.

"Bitchin'! How we do?"

"Well that didn't take much convincing at all." Emerald said, impressed by how quickly it took the dying Hazel to convince Arc to comment on what was probably the Namekians form of the Black Arts.

"Hey Jaune-Jaune needs all the power he can get if he wants to kick Cinder's butt!" Nora shot back. "Yeah!" Ruby echoed Nora's sentiment.

"Well, first you put your hand upon me."

" 'Kay" He places his hand on Hazel's elbow)

"Yes. Like that. Now lower."

"Uh-huh."

"Lower."

"Hmm…"

"Little lower."

"Hmm..".

"Ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now." Jaune groans as Hazel smirks at him. "Fusing!"

"Gods Dammit!" Jaune facepalmed. He couldn't believe how his alternate would fall for such an obvious trick…. though to be honest he probably would have fallen for it all the same.

Jaune fuses with Hazel, a bright light blinding the viewers. After it's disappears, Jaune only is there and he looks at his hands in wonder.

"Wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE!" He then begins to chant Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA…"

Hazel's voice from inside is heard inside Jaune's head. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." Jaune replies after stammering a bit.

"Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself."

"Are you in my head?" Jaune ask changing the subject.

"Yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later."

"Is this what it was like for you?" Jaune asked Oscar.

"Pretty much." Oscar deadpanned

"...Wow, that's really weird." Jaune slumped in his chair.

"Yep. Well, you kinda get used to it after a while." Oscar replied.

"Does it?" Jaune asked him seriously.

"...No." Oscar slumped into his chair as well.

'If I could have carried this burden in my original body for all these millennia and spared you, I would have… no one deserves this burden.' Ozpin told himself in his mind. He determined it would fix nothing if he told them that, there was no changing the past.

"Okay. So, what now?"

"By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bitch who killed our people."

"And?"

"Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this!" Hazel said, repeating Jaune's chant.

"Oh, ha-ha!"

"Yeah go Jaune/Fearless Leader!" Ruby and Nora both cheered.

Jaune's face turned beet red, but he did appreciate their show of support.

The scene cuts to Mercury and Cinder in a brawler lock

"Impudent... little…" Cinder hissed. Her scouter shows "F**K THIS I'M OUT" before exploding on her face, Cinder grunting in pain.

"Damn, Mercury must actually be pretty strong to make that device off itself," Yang stated.

"Why do you sound so surprised blondie? Still sore about our match up?" Mercury quipped.

"You are so lucky I can't mop the floor with your face." Yang shot back, her eyes flashing crimson.

Mercury and Cinder both back off, producing a small crater due to their power.

"I'm impressed, Mercury. When did you graduate from pull-ups?" Cinder said mocking.

"About the same time you got off the rag." Mercury fired back.

Cinder smirks a bit. "Cute. But bear no false hopes, Mercury. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess."

"It's that you can transform, right?"

"I can transform…" Cinder's face's falls. "Okay, when and how?"

"Guldo told me."

A flashback of a conversation between Mercury and Guldo appears

"So... Did you know that Cinder can transform?" Guldo said.

"Huh. That right?" Mercury said disinterested.

"Yeah. And Burter's gay."

"Really!?" Mercury asked, genuinely surprised

(back to present)

"And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story."

"That's so rude!" said the collective voices of Ruby, Weiss, Velvet, and Fiona.

"Oh cry me a river, I lost my conscience long ago." Mercury replied back.

"Right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?" Cinder question raising an eyebrow.

Mercury grinned viciously."Because Cinder. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!"

….

"A what?" Oscar asked.

Cinder rolls her eyes at this apparently hearing this before. "Oh, here we go!"

"That's right, Cinder. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend- the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist!" Cinder starts speaking faintly at this point alongside him. "I, Prince Mercury, have become a..". Cinder cuts him off

"...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia." She clearly wasn't taking him seriously.

"Wow! This Super Saiyan sounds awesome!" Yang concluded. Her sister as well as Jaune, Nora, Oscar and Ren. What? He could like things.

"Thanks for the praise Blondie." Mercury said.

"Yeah something tells me your alternate is way too overestimating himself." Emerald stated.

"You're just jealous you're not a Super Saiyan." Mercury shot back, unfazed by her earlier remark. Causing Emerald to roll her eyes.

While the name seemed silly to the more mature members of the audience, they too were intrigued by the tale of this being.

"Go ahead and mock me, Cinder, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz."

"Fine. I'll indulge you, Mr. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you."

"Funny how?"

"I like to call it, "I killed your dad"."

"...Was that supposed to shock me?" Mercury questioned.

Mercury stares at Cinder blankly. "So "ha-ha" funny."

"You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans…"

(flashback to planet Mercury)

A saiyan runs up to What seemed to be Marcus Black

"King Mercury, I have urgent news!"

"Speak, Butarega." King Marcus/Mercury said in a booming tone.

'Wait why does the old bastard have my name? Eh, guess it doesn't matter. Wait, does that make me a junior?!' Mercury thought.

"Well well, looks like I should call you Junior now. Huh?" Emerald comments, her smirk showing she greatly appreciated this new knowledge.

"I'm not a junior!" Mercury yelled.

"What's that? Couldn't hear you Junior!" Yang joins in on the teasing.

"I'm gonna get back at you both. Just you wait." Mercury growled. Hating how the tables have turned on him.

"Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!"

Off-screen someone screamed out: "Cinderrrr!"

"What's all the commotion about?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"He's been telling everyone that Cinder plans to destroy Mercury!"

"Wait, my son, the planet, or me?"

BUTAREGA looks at the king for a few moments before answering " ...Yes."

King Marcus/Mercury blasts Butarega away.

"Oh my gods!" Ruby cried out.

She and many others in the audience were shocked that the Saiyan King just killed his subordinate so callously. However, both Salem and Cinder were impressed at the King's show of force.

"Freakin' smartass." King Marcus/Mercury mutters and goes look a the Counselor. "Counselor Obleck, what do you think?"

"Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit him down…" Oobleck began.

"Uh-huh." King Marcus/Mercury said nodding his head.

"...you look her dead in the eye…"

"Yes."

" ...and you say, "Don't blow up my planet.""

"What? He can't be serious." Winter remarked.

"It appears that this version of Bart is not as wise or tactful as he is in our world." Ozpin rationalized.

Teams RWBY and JNR pressed 'X' to doubt.

"And you think that will work?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.

"she'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of her jib." Oobleck said with a grin.

"All right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south."

"Don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine."

"Wait. Hold on a damn minute, the old bastard actually cares about someone other than himself? Yeah like that's legit." Mercury crosses his arms.

Some in the audience looked at the silver haired assassin and just for a moment, they felt sympathy for him.

shifts to King Mercury approaching Cinder,.

"Cinder, can I sit down and have a word with-" King Marcus/Mercury said before Cinder interpreted him.

"SHORYUKEN!" Cinder yelled out, uppercutting King Marcus/Mercury in the jaw, causing the latter to fall back while producing with an echoing scream.

"K.O.! YOU WIN!" A voice yelled out.

"Yatta." Cinder whisper out looking at the king's dead body with grin

"Seems negotiations didn't go as he was expecting." Cinder floated to herself. What she didn't notice was that Mercury had stared at her after that statement was said.

He wasn't sure why but hearing her gloat about killing his dad made him feel… odd. It's probably the popcorn he was eating. Nothing more.

(back to present)

"And then I blew the planet up. The end."

Mercury stares at Cinder confused. "How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?"

Cinder gives a blank stare at Mercury and then proceeds to transform.

"Wow, nice comeback Cinder. Really showed him." Jaune said.

Cinder chose to ignore the blonde fool, she didn't dare waste the energy to acknowledge him.

"Nep, do you feel that?" Oscar asked with a fearful look as Cinder's power grew as her body.

"I taste that!" Neptune screamed a look as fear on his face as well.

Cinder finishes transforming into his second form, a Bigger bulkier form.

"Whoa! She's huge! Like that Hazel guy from Haven!" Nora shouted.

"She sure is..." Emerald didn't know how to feel about this new form of Cinder's. It looked too bulky and tall.

"She kinda looks like a bull with those horns." Ruby noted.

"All done." Cinder smiles a bit looking at all of them satisfied. "And judging by the expression on your face, so are you."

"What...? How?" The usual cockiness in his voice was gone.

"Let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million." Cinder's smile only grows widener.

The audience didn't know what she meant by that but they determined that it must've meant that she was terrifyingly strong.

Cinder loved it, if only she could feel what that power was like. She might even get drunk from it.

"You're lying!"

"Am I? Am I really?" Cinder sarcastically said, raises her hand and explodes the island that everyone is currently standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Cinder is shown standing on what's left of the island.

"Whoa!" Fiona and CVY cried out. This being their first time seeing a destructive force of this magnitude. Whitley also sweat dropped, while he had been pleased with how powerful he was in one of the previous worlds. This was an entirely different kind of power than he thought was ever possible.

"Not impressed!" Mercury yelled off screen. "I can do that, too!"

"Neptune, are you okay?" Oscar asks flying above the destroyed island.

"Yeah, and I've got a Little bow girl right here!" Neptune replied with a grin holding Trifa closely.

Cinder begans sings to. " Peaceful young races with fires on their houses

Millions of voices all silenced like mouses

Watching the cowards bow toward their new king

These are a few of my favorite things "

"Oh great she's singing now, as if this Cinder wasn't terrifying enough." Oscar said while clinging to his seat in fear.

"Is it just me, or is she singing to herself?" Neptune asks but is cut off by Cinder charging at him and impaling him with one of her horns, causing Neptune to drop Trifa.

(Neptune Owned Count: 15)

Neptune screams in pain.

"Oh no!" Ruby cried out. But immediately was off put by the showed counter on the screen.

Some in the audience giggled at the sight of the counter, even if they knew it was wrong.

"Neptune!" Oscar screamed out.

"Well, he's dead." Mercury deadpanned in his head.

"This is... the worst... pai-i-i-in!" Neptune said through gritted his teeth.

"Really? Sure it isn't this?" She looks up and starts shifting her head up and down." Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? (Neptune Owned Count: 16-21, with two 1Ups coming up in the last two ones)

"Neptune, stop! You're making him stronger!" Oscar pleaded.

"I-can't-help-it!" Neptune screamed.

(Neptune Owned Count: 22-25)

At this point most of the audience were laughing. It was a horribly dark joke, but the presentation was spot on and too hilarious. The huntsmen and huntresses that knew the blue haired boy felt very guilty, but they couldn't stop laughing.

"One down!" Cinder throws Neptune off her horn and towards the lake. "Ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person."

Oscar begans to shake with rage. "You condescending... sadistic... callous... MOTHERF**KER!"

"Pardon?" Cinder ask with a raised eyebrow but then Oscar attacks Cinder by kicking and punching her in the face before knocking her upward with an uppercut and finally kicks her towards the ground. Oscar then starts charging up an energy blast.

"WHOO! Go Cute Boy Oscar! Woo-woo-woo!" Nora cheered on her newest teammate. His other friends joined in cheering for Oscar's alternate.

Oscar was deeply embarrassed but also very ecstatic that he was able to keep up with the frightening tyrant.

"Oscar SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! Oscar STRONGEST THERE IS!" Oscar thought to himself.

Oscar launches a ki blast directly at Cinder, causing a massive explosion. Oscar is then seen in midair catching his breath. Cinder is seen lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Oscar's assault.

"Ten points for team ALPN!" Nora cheered.

"Yeah, how's that feel, Cinder?" Mercury yelled out. "Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL Saiyan…" Mercury's voice trails off as Cinder is seen getting up with a annoyed look.

"Huh. That happened." She muttered before turning to Mercury. "Mercury, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter."

"Oh crap, abort Oscar! Abort!" Jaune called out.

"Think! What would Dad do in this situation?" Oscar began to think to himself in a panic.

A flashback of Sun wearing a backpack showed up.

"Bye, son!" Sun said in the flashback in a big dopey smile.

"Damn it Sun." Blake facepalmed.

"Wow, my other self has some issues." Oscar realizes.

(back to present)

"I'm beginning to think I have issues…" Oscar thought to himself when he got punched by Cinder and hit the ground. He tries to get up, but gets crushed by Cinder's foot.

Cinder turns to grin at the Silver haired man. "So, Mercury. Does this get you angry?"

"It's getting ME angry!" Nora shouts at the screen. Her team, RWBY, Qrow, Ozpin and Winter show the same hostility towards the Cinder in the screen.

Mercury shrugs. "Not really. Kind of a smartass."

Cinder frowns "Well then, why am I even bothering?"

"Because you get off on it?" Mercury said hetaintly.

Cinder grins viciously. "Oh, unbelievably... Huh?" Cinder moves to dodges a disc but her tail gets cut off. She turns to glare at culprit.

"Alright, who has the balls?!" She screams out.

Camera zooms on to Neptune, who is the one responsible for cutting off Cinder's tail. Neptune then turns around and starts repeatedly spanking his butt.

"Kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!"

Cinder growls angrily and flies after Neptune.

"Whoa! Neptune's back up already? I thought he was out for the count!" Yang confused. Happy that he lived but still confused as to how he was back in good shape.

Neptune imitates Curly's whooping sounds while flying away and screams: "Suuuck myy diiii…"

The shifts to Mercury thinking to himself. "How the hell did he get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd... " He stops himself and opens his mouth in shock. And speaks out loud after a short pause. "That... bastard."

"Hahaha-ha-ha! You can't kill an immortal!" Emerald laughed.

"Why are you laughing? Weren't you cheering for Cinder?" Mercury implies.

"I am but I'm also cheering against you." Emerald explains.

"You're despicable, you know that right?" Mercury deadpanned.

The scene shifts to Trifa healing Oscar "Come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!" She mutters to herself.

Oscar eyes open, regaining consciousness."I... you... healed me."

"You are the only one I respect."

"Then why did you heal Neptune?"

"The better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?"

"Ok where is this girl in real life, I'm starting to like her style." Emerald comments.

"I'm starting to not like this Bow Girl." Weiss concludes.

"Yeah that was kinda mean." Ruby adds.

"But it did give him a helluva confidence boost." Yang points out.

The audience reluctantly agrees with Yang.

Neptune flies back to the battlefield with a huge grin. "Holy crap! Thank God I'm immortal!"

"Actually, I healed you, you idiot!" Trifa said off-screen.

"Wait, so I could have died back there?" Neptune realized with his eyes widing.

"After all that you're just going to tear him down like that!" Weiss shouted.

"Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it." Mercury replied.

"Hax! I call hax!" Neptune whined.

The audience agreed with Screen Neptune.

"How did you escape?" Oscar asked.

"Oh, it was awesome!" See, She was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose her in some crevices, but she kept cutting me off at every pass."

"She didn't just blow it up?" Mercury pointed out?"

"Thought the same thing, but no! So I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on her!"

"And then you used your Kienzan to cut her in half?" Oscar asked gleefully

"Um…"

Cinder flies back to the battlefield, angrily and screams at them. "I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!"

"To answer your question, Oscar. No, I did not do that." Neptune muttered.

"Damn seriously? He could have finished her off so easily, it was literally in his grasp." Coco shakes her head.

"Douse this bitch!" Mercury yelled.

Mercury, Oscar, and Neptune fire a barrage of energy blasts at Cinder, covering her in smoke.

"Did we get her?" Neptune asked

"Neptune, we can feel her energy. Why do you bother asking?" Oscar asked back annoyed.

"I'm an optimist."

"You're an idiot." Mercury said, glaring at him.

"You're both wrong. You're dead." Cinder said as the smoke cleared and is shown to be unfazed by the blasts.

"You know what? I'm sick of this." Oscar said, his face hardening. "If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Jaune would!" He moves in to attack Cinder head-on.

"Oscar, no!" Neptune goes to fly after Oscar.

"No! What are you doing?! Don't go out like my other self!" Jaune shouted clutching his head.

RWBY, ALPN, and Ozpin were clouded in worry.

" No, goddamn it!" Mercury also flies after Oscar when a new figure surrounded by light appears in front of the trio. The light clears, and the figure is revealed to be Jaune.

"M... Mr. Jaune!" Oscar cried out.

"Yes! Fearless Leader is here for the rescue!" Nora cheered.

The Jaune in the audience let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you." Cinder smiles a bit. "But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to-" She gets sent flying by a punch from Jaune.

"Just one." Jaune said stoically.

"GO JAUNE GO!" Ruby screamed.

Most of the audience looked towards her from her outburst, including Jaune who was staring wide eyed at her.

"Er, you know. Smash Tyrant Cinder's no good face." She attempts to save face, throwing out air punches to diffuse the situation.

"...Yeah!" Nora shouted.

#TFS abridged #dbz abridged #team rwby #team alpn #team cem #rwby ruby rose #rwby jaune arc #oscar pine #neptune vasilias #rwby mercury black #yang xiao long #trifa #cinder fall #salem #headmaster ozpin #rwby #rwby fanfiction #look into the multiverse

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flamingo-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Yours/His— Wakatoshi x Reader

Summary: Despite being completely different people, you found comfort in each other’s company. And after a couple of years of friendship, it seemed only natural that the two of you fell in love with each other. Even though you weren't the “type” of girl Ushijima Wakatoshi liked. However, you were the first girl to ever make him feel like that.

Posted: 08.14.2020

A/N: I intended this to be a short fluffy drabble...inspired by the song Shooting Star. But then, as I began writing, it all gt out of hand and I ended up writing 8K words...What’s more impressive is that I managed to write them in two days, so, that’s a new record for me. Happy late birthday to Wakatoshi, I guess.

Word Count: 8.6 K

Warnings: Smut, smutty smut. And curse words.

If there was a word to describe you, it was: wild. It was incredibly amazing how someone as wild as you managed to be in a relationship with Ushijima Wakatoshi. To his friends seemed only obvious, while the rest of the school thought it was ironic.

Ushijima Wakatoshi was known for being not very bright, and yet, the ace player in the volleyball team. He was stronger than most, he was disciplined enough to never skip practice, even disciplined enough to always hand in homework even though he wasn't the brightest student. He had a weird fascination with following the rules. And had his mind set on his goal.

Along the way, he has had a few crushes here and there, but those girls never seemed to stick around for long. These girls followed the imposed image of the 'perfect wife' according to his mother. Gentle, polite, pretty, dedicated to their studies, and supportive. However, that last trait was always put to test, since Ushijima's obsession with Volleyball was usually what made his relationships end. He never truly loved a girl enough to stick with her for long.

At least, not before you. The two of you met thanks to Satori. And it didn't come as a surprise that you and Satori were best friends. You were both equally chaotic and clever.

And boy, you were clever. Whereas you weren't precisely the gentlest, nor the politests, you sure were dedicated to your studies, and incredibly supportive.

Sure, you constantly came off as rude for addressing people by their first name right after meeting them, and you usually spoke your mind through sarcastic remarks, sometimes hurting people in the process. But god, Ushijima's friends admired your patience since you were always willing to help him with his homework and helped him study, since Ushijima seemed to struggle with complicated classes like vocab and calculus.

You managed to effortlessly come up with ways to help him learn kanji, and with such easy explanations for calculus. Not only your patience, but your passion when it came to teaching, it didn't surprise anyone when you told them you wanted to be a teacher.

"You're very good at it" Walatoshi said once.

Your constant presence around Wakatoshi, as well as him constantly relying on you for several things not only made your friendship grow slowly, but a sort of endearment took over you whenever it came to Wakatoshi. Whereas you were sarcastic and sometimes mean to others, you had a terribly obvious soft spot for him. Something even Wakatoshi could tell.

This different treatment made him feel good, if he said so himself. He liked to be the only one who was immune to your wild mood swings and sometimes hurtful sarcasm. Even between your friends, your jokes sometimes got out of hand, but by this point your friends knew it was in your nature.

The stoic, serious, and intimidating Ushijima Wakatoshi was the only one safe from the equally intimidating, laidback, explosive you. And soon, this gentle treatment not only got into his head, it slowly made its way to his heart. And after a year and a half of highschool, he admitted his feelings for you, not only to himself, but to Tendou.

"Oh, shit, I knew this was gonna happen!" Satori laughed. "Oh boy, Semi is gonna be so pissed when he finds out!" Pulling his phone at once, texting Semi at the speed of light.

"Why is that?" Wakatoshi said, hearing the soft clicks Tendo's phone made as he texted.

"I made a bet with him. He betted [Name]-chan was gonna fall in love first, I said it was going to be you. And for a moment, I thought he was gonna win" Tendo giggled mischievously, proud as if it had been his doing instead of fate.

"Semi betted that she was gonna develop feelings for me first?" Wakatoshi wasn't used to the feeling of his cheeks burning gently, and certainly, he wasn't aware of the fact that he was blushing, very much to Satori's amusement.

"Yes! And actually, she's not far from falling down that hill, so, now that I won my bet, I can help you steal her heart, tiger" Satori winked and hit Wakatoshi gently on the ribs with his skinny elbow.

"You think I need your help?" Wakatoshi asked, completely clueless.

"Well, normally, I'd say yes. But I'm pretty sure if you keep being yourself, she'll eventually be heads over hills for you" Wakatoshi frowned at this, confused by what Satori meant.

"Why would she be heads over hills?"

"Oh boy, this is why she finds you cute. It's figure speech, dude. It means she'll be madly in love with you"

"So, I should just keep being me?" His eyebrows relaxed at this and sighed deeply, relieved.

"Yeah, if you wanna speed that process, ask her out or whatever…I hope Semi sees his phone soon" Satori chuckled sheepishly.

Ushijima never realized how easy it was to be your friend. You were always there whenever he needed a hand, whether if it was for school or if he was dealing with personal issues. To the point of learning basic volleyball skills and knowledge to help him train on the weekends.

And just as you were always there for him, he always was for you. The thing about being as free spirited as you were, meant you'd have a lot of people chasing after your igniting freedom. And Wakatoshi was the perfect guy to scare off the guys who didn't have good intentions or those who wouldn't take no for an answer. Just like keeping you sane from the school work and pressure of keeping straight A's to keep your scholarship by distracting you, taking you out to play volleyball with him, sometimes he dragged you along his jogs around the streets, sometimes just to hang out in his dorm.

But then the fear washed over him like very few things in life. The fearless Shiratorizawa Monster, afraid of asking his best friend out on a date and possibly crossing the line. What if he ended up breaking your heart in the process? Or if he scared you away? What if things went perfectly fine, but given your nature, his mother and you didn't get along?

He hated to admit it, but he was terribly attached to his family. And the idea of defying or starting any kind of family drama unsettled him.

The idea of losing you terrified him even worse, though. And clung to the idea of staying your friend for years and years to come. Everything would be easier if you just stayed friends. Right?

He was afraid of flying too close to the sun.

At least until he did, and found out his wings weren't made out of wax. Or maybe, he wasn't even flying close to the sun, instead he was chasing after a shooting star.

His feelings for you got out of hand one night. One blissful night, in which he learned so much about himself as a man. And about you. By the end of the night, he knew that you were the perfect match for him, regardless of what everyone expected of him. By the end of the night, he was yours. and you were his.

The last party before graduating. Before he left Shiratorizawa and joined a professional volleyball team. And before you went to university and majored in history.

The traditional Third Year Graduation Party took place not so far away from your place, and as expected, this party turned wilder than the one from the previous year, as the tradition dictated.

Very much against his will, Wakatoshi was dragged to the party by Satori. And for the first hour he was beyond uncomfortable trying to avoid the drunken people and their fuckery.

"Toshi, you keep disappearing!" You sang upon finding your friend for a fifth time within the same hour.

"I'm sorry, it's not on purpose" He said leaning closer to you so you could hear him among the chaos taking place in such a small house "This much noise and close space makes me uncomfortable" He said.

"C'mon, lets go outside" You said, grabbing his arm and guiding him through the crowd "I could use some fresh air myself" You walked out the door, towards the front yard and into the sidewalk away from the people gathered in the garden.

Wakatoshi noticed how your steps were slightly clumsier and your cheeks seemed to be rosier than usual.

"Are you okay?" He asked, still not sure what was it about you that was different, but definitely noticing something was off.

"I'm tipsy, and I'm having a good time" You said clinging to his arm as you sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and stared at the sky. "But if I keep drinking, I'll go from tipsy and fun to wasted and cringy, and we do not want that"

"Oh" Wakatoshi murmured sitting next to you, his shoulder brushing yours.

"It was the vodka. I've drunk sake before, and normally don't get drunk this fast. But a single glass of vodka with juice and I'm already like this" You giggled pointing at your face.

"You want me to take you home?" He asked.

"Nah, I just got here" You sighed looking at your friend. "Unless, you want to get away from here" You said looking into your friend's eyes.

"How did you…" His voice trailed off.

"Ushijima Walatoshi, I know you, and I can tell you would like to be somewhere else but here. C'mon, let's go home"

"Didn't you want to stay?"

"I got what I wanted, I got tipsy with cheap foreign alcohol, and I wanted to have fun. I had both, and now, I'd like to have fun with you, Toshi-kun. And if you need to go somewhere else to have fun, then I'll gladly go wherever you go" You smiled, noticing how Wakatoshi smiled softly upon hearing you.

"Isn't your mom home?" He was worried that you might get in trouble for arriving home drunk, however, he forgot your mother was considerably younger than the average, and was a lot more open minded than most moms Wakatoshi knew.

"She said she was gonna go drinking with her friends from the office, and she told me that as long as I didn't come back drunker than her, then it was all fine"

"Oh" He purred "You think she'll get drunk?"

"Of course! Not drunk enough for it to be a problem, but drunk enough to not mind if I get drunk" You giggled.

"You want to get drunk?"

"No, not really. I'd like to stay tipsy for a few more hours, but I can do that with the sake my mum has at home"

"Isn't she gonna mind?

"Gosh, stop worrying and let's go! It's gonna be fine, I promise!"

With a single hop you stood up and offered Wakatoshi your hand to help him up. He chuckled, thinking how easy it was for you to be so carefree when he would be worrying about all the circumstances. He grabbed your hand, more as a courtesy, since he didn't have a single problem standing up, but still felt the urge to feel your small hand in his.

Once he was standing on his feet, his gut twisted and tickled upon noticing how you didn't let go of his hand. The sweet anxiety drew a wider smile on his face as he walked next to you, still holding onto your hand. He wondered if it was because you were drunk.

The party was barely a 20 minute walk from your house, so Wakatoshi didn't even have to ask where you were going, as he noticed how you took the way uphill, towards your place.

The wind was chilly, but not enough for it to be a problem. Besides, you were walking, legs warming up as the street inclined slowly. Still holding your hand, every so often, he'd look at you, blessing his eyes and his heart with the gentle sight of the absentminded smile on your face as you hummed.

He remembered the many times Semi asked you to sing a song with him and record it, but you always refused since you were shy and only sang when you felt comfortable and only around those you trusted the most.

"[Name], c'mon, your voice is gorgeous!" Semi said one time he showed you a song he'd written, and Wakatoshi had been there in the dorm when it happened.

Soon, you kept flattering him with subtle actions. Holding his hand, quietly walking uphill in the middle of the night, and now, the soft humming slowly evolving into singing. Your soft voice singing in a low voice, a song he couldn't name, but thought it was a cute song.

He didn't say anything until you finished singing with a loud sigh. He looked at you dreamily as you looked at your house slowly appearing on the horizon.

"That was beautiful"

"Thank you, Toshi" You whispered, savouring his name on your lips.

The hill was covered in small white houses, all of them looking pretty similar. In front of the stretching wall of houses, there was a lookout, decorated with a nice iron balcony, and one feet tall concrete cubes following the edge of the sidewalk to keep cars for parking near the edge.

You walked towards the lookout, stopping before one of the concrete cubes and stepping on one of them.

No longer feeling tipsy, you effortlessly hopped on top, letting go of Wakatoshi's hand in the process and balancing your arms. However, Wakatoshi wasn't sure if you still felt drunk, and instinctively stretched one of his arms to your waist, helping you balance.

"Easy there," He said.

"It's okay, I got this" you said, resting one of your hands on his shoulder.

Now standing on the concrete cube, you were taller, shortening the height difference between you and your friend. Not used to this new height, you gazed around you.

"Is this what it feels like being so tall?" You broke the silence as Wakatoshi looked away from the view and towards you.

"Yeah, I guess" He chuckled softly, gazing at you.

You locked stares with his olive eyes, thinking it only made sense how many girls fell for those sweet captivating orbs. Sure, he looked stoic most of the time, still his eyes were beautiful. Even more so when he was smiling, just like he was now.

The sort of comfortable smile that appeared when he was around his close friends, having a good time, not thinking of responsibilities. It was a unique smile you adored so much. And right now, you had that smile to yourself alone.

"How nice" You murred as your mind focused on his hand, still on your waist. Feeling the weight and the warmth burning through your skin. "Being this tall. Specially for a guy, tall guys are a blessing, I swear, there's something so stupidly attractive about a tall guy"

"Well, yeah. But finding shoes of my size is kinda of a problem…" You giggled at his remark. "Trousers too"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Japan isn't precisely tall-people friendly, is it?" You remarked.

"Yeah" Wakatoshi nodded.

"Toshi"

"Hmm?"

"Close your eyes" He looked at you and blinked a few times, confused, curious, before asking.

"Okay. What for?"

"Listen to the city breathe" You closed your eyes and remained silent, trying to focus on the sweet hums of the city, the traces of the sounds that brought a city alive.

"Sometimes I don't understand what you say" He said bluntly, closing his eyes.

"Me neither. And that's okay" You giggled opening your eyes.

You stared at Ushijima savouring the gentle breeze hitting his face, as he listened closely to the sounds of the city. Not noticing you were staring at him with a stare that seemed to melt into a puddle of adoration.

You leaned closer to him, kissing the corner of his mouth so delicately, Ushijima took a while to realize what had happened. And once he did, he opened his eyes and gazed at you, noticing the blush on your cheeks as your stare seemed to scan his face bit by bit.

"[Name]..." He whispered.

"Did you know" You cut him off with a soft voice "Satori and Semi had a bet going on?"

"Ye-yeah…" He admitted.

"Those idiots won't tell me who won. Do you happen to know who did?" You raised an eyebrow, knowing he knew, but had your suspicions that he wouldn't tell you either.

"Yes" He said coldly.

"And?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not—"

"Of course" You interrupted him once more "I should've known that you'd be on their side" You giggled. "Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you like me. And I like you, too. A lot, actually. But always felt a bit scared of saying it"

Wakatoshi stared at you, wondering where this whole honesty was coming from. He knew alcohol had this effect in people, but right now you were moving a lot more coordinated and spoke eloquently as always.

"Are you still drunk?"

"No, not really" You sighed "But, we're graduating next week, and, I promised myself I'd tell you before graduation"

Something about you enchanted him so much. Your wild, untamed and spontaneous nature, sometimes rubbed off on him. Specially as time went by, he realized he was becoming less and less strict with himself, allowing himself to be spontaneous every once in a while, although, not as frequently as regular people his age were.

But this time was different. As soon as he thought about it, he acted. He knew that the less he reasoned his thoughts, the easier it'd be to act.

He leaned closer, one of his hands reached your cheek and pulled you closer to him, as he crashed his lips with yours. His lips pressing gently against yours as a surprised hum escaped your lips before giving in to the kiss.

You kissed him back, locking lips and breathing in deeply. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pulled him closer, eager to feel his body next to yours. He mirrored your movements and squeezed you, snaking his arms around your waist. Very tightly. Such closeness allowed you to feel the rise and fall of his chest as you kissed over and over and over again. He felt the traces of cranberry juice in your breath, though he didn't give it much of a thought, he was far more busy savouring the kiss itself.

The both of you losing all sense of time and orientation. The both of you got lost in the moment, feeling the anxiety build up in your stomach as you remained kissing desperately, as if the world was about to end.

The kiss that had been haunting him in his dreams finally happened, in a much better way than he ever imagined. Your hands moving across his back, as he felt your fingers brush his hair before you closed your grip on his hair, as your mouth fought for dominance.

Your tight grip on his hair, along with your tongue teasingly brushing his lip, and your body pressed against his, it all played out like an orchestra. Building the tension, kissing you and holding you close, suddenly wasn't enough. His body urged him for more, in a feeling he knew all too well, but wasn't used to feeling.

For someone who has had a few girlfriends here and there, none of them ever made him feel like this. For so long he thought love and intimacy weren't as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. For so long he only thought of his girlfriends as companions, and never really felt the urge to kiss them, to touch them, to hold them close.

This feeling was too new for him, it made him feel slightly awkward. But you seemed to fully give in and play along with his needy contact.

You broke the kiss, panting breathless, resting your forehead against Wakatoshi's.

"Lets go inside" you breathed.

He nodded, as he wondered what would happen next. He wasn't stupid. He'd seen enough movies and series to know what would happen next. However, he was still so new to the whole thing. Not because he was a virgin, he wasn't. But because sex never appealed to him. The times he'd had sex with his ex girlfriends was mostly out of responsibility, not because he wanted nor felt the urges everyone said teenagers felt.

However, now everything was different. His heart was racing fast, his mind was clouded, and he felt his blood burning his entire body, especially in awkward areas.

He obediently followed you, as you still clung to his hand. You made your way to your place. Your house was dark, though the dim streetlights filtered through the windows, making it easy to find your way across the blue and yellow halls and towards your bedroom.

You stopped briefly in the kitchen, where you let go of Wakatoshi's hand and turned on the light.

"Can I offer you something? Anything? Something to eat, something to drink?" You asked politely.

"A glass of water would be nice"

You nodded and grabbed a couple of glasses and filled them with water silently, feeling slightly nervous at the thought of taking Wakatoshi to your bedroom.

Not because it was the first time. In fact, he'd spent enough weekends at your place, as you helped him study for tests. Sometimes in a big group, sometimes just the two of you. He wasn't a stranger to your house, nor to your room, not even to your bed, since he'd constantly sit on your bed while studying, and even sometimes he'd fall asleep and nap.

But this was completely different. Even kissing him felt slightly weird. Not in a bad way. In fact, you'd been fantasizing about that moment for a long while now. But, the idea of taking him to your room in this context made you anxious. Almost as if you were a virgin all over again.

You handed him his glass and jerked your head, as if telling him to follow you through the stairs and towards your room.

Wakatoshi definitely liked your room. He always felt at peace there. It was minimal, yet, everything about it screamed your name. It felt like a second home to him.

With barely any furniture. Just a single night stand, standing tall next to the mattress on the ground. Several piles of stacked books working as tables for random trinkets you've been collecting along the way. A small coffee table next to your bed which you used as a desk with a lot of stationary messily lying around. Despite spending the weekends in the Shiratorizawa dorms, your room smelled a lot of your perfume, and that was probably his favorite part of your room. A smell he resembled a lot to home. A smell he was so eager to get drunk of.

He followed you silently towards your room, as you walked inside, placing the glass on the coffee table. Wakatoshi replicated your movements. As you sat on the edge of the bed, you waited for Wakatoshi to do the same. And once he did, you nervously wrapped your arms around him, and brought him closer, kissing him once more.

The same hunger as before lit up instantly, as the anxiety building up in his belly only made it all worse. He clung to you, desperately, as if he was about to lose you.

A moan escaped your throat in the middle of the fiery kiss, prompted by his strong arms squeezing you against him. That moan made his back shiver, as he felt a rather familiar heat grow in his crotch.

You leaned back, without breaking the kiss, and your arms still around his shoulders, you brought him along with you as you laid on the bed. Wakatoshi leaned closer, resting his weight on one of his forearms against the mattress, and using his free hand to cling to your waist.

"[Name]" he purred in a gentle voice, breaking the kiss and looking into your eyes.

Swallowed by the darkness, your eyes shone with the reflection of the streetlight as you looked at him both devouring him with a tender stare. Inviting him to keep going. Only making his whole body get hotter and hotter. He wondered if your heart beated as fast as his, and if you were starting to feel as horny as he was.

Horny, he thought. Just thinking about it made him feel weird. Dirty. He'd never really felt horny. And now he was not only feeling that way, but because of you. His best friend. He wasn't supposed to be feeling like this because of one of his friends, was it? He knew it was wrong. But kissing you felt so right. The dichotomy only made him feel more and more turned on. Maybe it was wrong to feel horny for one of your friends, but he'd been a good boy and followed the rules for as long as he can remember. Maybe, going bad from time to time wasn't so bad. He felt an urge to misbehave and be spontaneous. He felt an urge to take you and make you his.

"Lay down" You said sitting up as he looked at you, puzzled.

"What?"

"You heard me! lay down, big boy" You said playfully as Wakatoshi did as you told.

You thought of crawling on top of him before it occurred to you to go to your mother's room and look for something in her drawers. You stood on your feet and looked at Toshi as his olive eyes seemed to shine in golden tones amongst the darkness painted with dim lights.

"Give me a minute, okay? I won't take long" you said shyly.

"Where are you—"

"Make yourself at home!" You said before rushing out of your room and into your mother's across the hall.

Being a single mother, and having your only child attend a school with dorms sure gave you the liberty of bringing partners into your home without worrying that your child will break in, ruining the intimacy. And you thought it was great. How awkward must it be to arrive home and find your mother banging some dude? Besides, you knew where her condom stash was.

You looked through her drawer and grabbed a few condoms for yourself before rushing back in the room. The anxiety building a knot in your throat as the condoms seemed to weight a lot more than they usually did. As you walked inside, you found Wakatoshi comfortably lying on your bed, eyes closed, and breathing in deeply, getting drunk with your scent.

The weep of the old wooden door caught his attention as he saw you walk inside, closing the door behind you. You approached the bed without saying anything. Kneeling, you put the condoms over the coffee table and took off your shirt without saying anything.

Wakatoshi's heart skipped several beats, as he forgot to breathe upon seeing you. Your chest now exposed him, making him feel thirsty, as his eyes traveled up your belly and to your chest. Realising he'd been staring at your breast, still hidden under a bra, he looked up, meeting your stare.

Speechless, his body paralysed briefly. And you began crawling on top of him. He felt his body begin shaking softly in anticipation, as his head felt lighter. He was nervous. He was excited, and delighted.

His hands found your waist and pulled you towards him, before trapping your lips in a breathless kiss. His digits were quick to travel across your back, feeling goosebumps surfacing your skin. Playing with the hook of your bra, and the delicate straps on your shoulders, he felt the urge to tear your clothes off at once, but at the same time, he wanted to taste the whole scene.

The heat was getting out of hand, as he broke the kiss and pushed you aside gently so he could take his shirt off before lying back on the mattress, and pulling you on top of him once more.

The blissful moment he felt your weight fall over his naked chest, all traces of anxiety and shy insecurity were gone. Now replaced with a needy urge he still felt ashamed of admitting. Caught in another hot wet kiss, you noticed Ushijima struggling to unhook your bra. You giggled into his lips before helping him out and taking your bra off.

He broke the kiss with a soft grunt. He sat up, as you followed him, sitting on his lap. He kissed your neck and your shoulders. You whimpered, whispering his name as he kissed and bit your skin like a hungry animal.

His hands made their way to your breasts as he held them firmly, squeezing them, and feeling the satisfaction of stealing a loud moan from your lips.

"You like this?" He asked, genuinely curious, as you nodded breathlessly.

"Don't stop, Toshi" you breathed as he kissed your jaw. "Toshi"

He growled, as your nipples puckered between his fingers, teasingly pulling and squeezing, as his name continued to echo the room between moans.

"I like hearing you call my name" He purred against the skin of your neck.

"Oh, you're in for a ride, babe. I'm just getting started" You chuckled.

Hearing you call him that made his heart squeeze dearly. Babe. He never actually had his ex girlfriends call him anything but by his first name. God, his girlfriends were so unbearably polite, and his relationships were so short, they never got to stick around long enough to give him any sort of pet name.

"You okay?" You asked upon noticing how he had been staring at you for a few seconds, as he tried to assimilate those feelings of passion and endearment consuming him.

"Yeah" He purred "You're beautiful"

"Gosh, are you always this sweet to your girlfriends?" You whimpered kissing the corner of his mouth.

"Just you," He said, closing his eyes, enjoying the trail of delicate kisses you left across his face.

"Kiss me, Toshi" You murmured "I want you so bad, babe"

His arms around you squeezed you once more, as he desperately kissed you once more.

"You've got me, darling" he whispered between kisses.

Wakatoshi swallowed your moans into the kiss, as his hands kept traveling up and down your body. Your warmth around him, your smell caressing him delicately, and your lips melting into his, with the purest of feelings melting all around you.

He had never felt like this before. He had never felt so eager to feel someone against his burning skin. He never felt the desire to pleasure someone else for his own pleasure. This newfound passion burned so good, he could understand how people could easily become addicted to sex.

He broke the kiss, cupping your cheek in one of his big hands, as he kissed your cheeks, going down your jaw and neck. He stopped there and snuggled his face on the crook of your neck, and took a deep breath, feeling like the world was spinning too fast. He felt euphoric, ecstatic, marveled.

"What is it?" You broke the silence, brushing his hair with your fingers.

"I'm enjoying this" He purred, squeezing you once more, as you kissed his head and hugged him back.

"You're adorable" You admitted.

"Thanks," He said, satisfied.

"Toshi?" You broke the hug, looking at him in the eye, and feeling your cheeks blush at the thought of what you were about to ask. This made you feel particularly silly, since you'd done this several times before, and you hadn't felt this shy in a long time.

"Yes, darling?" He said looking into your eyes.

"Let me do something for you"

"What is it?"

"Do you ever not ask questions?" Your voice suddenly was loud with amusement.

"I don't think so, no" He chuckled awkwardly.

"Such a curious mind, are you not? How precious, how delicious" You sang.

"You're talking weirdly again, [Name]" He said amused by how dreamily you looked when you suddenly started talking like that.

"I'm not gonna apologise for spending my free time reading poetry and writing poetic prose" You snapped, idly playing with the button of his jeans.

"You should write a book" he said, noticing the way your fingers were moving, trying to delicately undo his jeans.

"Oh, I'm gonna. Just you wait" He felt nervous and hot as your fingers lingered in his crotch, as he felt his erection keep throbbing in anticipation.

"I've never asked you but, what do you write about?" He stuttered, trying to distract himself from the gentle touch of your hands against him.

"So many years of friendship and you've never asked. That is true. That's true for you and pretty much all of my friends, except for Semi. But because he writes too. Although, he writes music. I write about my life and the people in it" Using your speech to distract him and to calm your nerves, you finally brought yourself to undo his jeans, stealing a quick growl from Wakatoshi.

"Have you written something about me?" He asked, feeling his head turn feverish with desire, as your fingers dragged the zipper down, releasing his still clothed erection.

"If I had a coin for every single question that comes from your beautiful lips…" Following your words, your eyes locked on his swollen lips, as you bit yours, feeling your heart beat hard against your chest "Lay down, babe"

"[Name], what are you—"

"Relax, if you trust me, close your eyes" Your voice was once more as a soft seductive purr. And as Wakatoshi did as you told, his face blushed, burning aggressively.

"I trust you with everything I've got" Your touch caressing his erection as you pulled down his underwear, enough for his dick to spring free.

"God, you're big" You gasped breathless.

"Ah, [Name], you-you don't have to—" He began, and stopped, gasping, when he felt your lips gently lick and kiss the head.

"But I want this. I want you to enjoy the night" Your breath hit his sensitive skin, as his breath shook nervously.

"I've been enjoying this since the moment I saw you" He admitted, his face blushed and his eyes shut tight as he felt your mouth taking him in, slowly at first "Fuck, [Name]"

You kept going, trying your best to slowly make your way down his length. Your jaw was beginning to feel numb, as you painfully bobbed your head. Motivated by the sweet obscene sounds Wakatoshi let out. Your name echoing every now and then. Looking up, you managed to gaze at Toshi, peeking through your lashes, as the image of his face flushed, consumed by lust, only added to the heat building between your legs.

As you got used to the gagging, and his length, it became easier for you to keep going. Sometimes swallowing to tighten your grip around his dick, and making him grunt louder than ever. His hand played with your hair, as you kept going and going. His heart beating faster by the second as he began feeling his orgasm approaching.

"[Name], stop" He gasped breathless "Come here, darling. I-Im close" He whined, however, you ignored him and sped up your pace "Ple-please, baby" He begged.

He pushed his head back, rocking his hips, making his cock go deeper into your mouth. Hands gripping firmly to the bed sheets. His body shaking in ecstasy, as he felt closer and closer to his release. He came inside your mouth, as his warm cum tickled the back of your mouth as it shot down your throat. You swallowed, savoring his salty bitter release. The sound of his moans tickling your belly.

"Did you like it?" You coughed, your voice raspy.

"Ye-yeah" He gasped "You didn't listen to me, though"

"Oh, I didn't have any intention of doing so" You admitted, smiling satisfied at him.

"I've never had anyone do that to me" He said, finally catching his breath, as the world regained its focus again and he saw your cheeky smile.

"Well" you shrugged "you had a thing for sweet and shy virgin girls, so, it shouldn't come as a surprise"

"You aren't like that," He continued.

"Of course not"

"Come here, it's my turn" His gaze suddenly turned darker, sending shivers down your spine as you did as he said.

He hooked an arm around your waist and swiftly threw you to the mattress as he got up on his knees and took off his jeans along with his underwear before leaning down and doing the same to you.

His fingers lingered on the hem of your panties once he took off your jeans and proceeded to kiss your belly. His lips drawing soft patterns on your skin as his fingers played with the fabric of your panties as you gasped and gasped in anticipation.

He began pulling down your panties, and felt his hit breath close to your sex as you bit your lip, wondering what did he have in mind.

He kissed your folds before one of his fingers began exploring your slit, as his lips and tongue focused on your clit.

"[Name], you're so wet" he purred before kissing your clit once more.

"Yeah, well...that's your fault, pretty boy" you gasped as one of his fingers effortlessly slid inside you, stretching your walls.

He moaned against your skin, upon feeling your warmth contract around his fingers, as a second digit made its way inside.

"Toshi," you cried, running your hands through his hair as he looked up. His now lustful honey eyes looking at you like a predator gazing at its prey "Toshi, that feels so good" you said breathlessly before collapsing your head on the pillow.

God, what were you doing to him? This was so unlike him. He was usually so quiet, so polite, so squared, always playing by the rules with a weird fascination. But now, he was acting on pure instinct. Your smell, your warmth, the sound of your voice, it all was driving him crazy. He was letting his most primitive judgment take over as he mindlessly pleasured you with his tongue and fingers making you reach your orgasm.

"To-Toshi" You whined feeling the buildup of your climax, tightening your grip on his hair and arching your back, shaking uncontrollably as your sight blurred, the loudest of moans escaped your throat as everything began to burn in the most delicious of ways.

Your walls squeezing his fingers, trapping him, as he bit your clit gently, making you moan even louder due to the overstimulation.

He smiled proudly at himself, as you returned from your high. Glad that he'd made you cum so effortlessly, feeling so unbearably turned on by your needy cries. He pulled his fingers out of you, covered in slick and licked them clean before crawling on top of you.

You were quick to wrap your arms around him and pull him close. Desperately kissing his lips in a passionate messy kiss. He could tell you were breathless, and completely undone underneath him, but still needy, clinging to him desperately as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him closer.

"[Name]" he gasps, feeling your wet folds rubbing and dripping all over his erection accidentally, thinking he might lose control any time and just take you raw. "Do you have—"

"Coffee table" you breathe before he can even finish.

He moves quickly and swiftly off of you, grabbing one of the condoms and opening it hastily.

"Wait, let me do this" you say with a lewd voice, as Wakatoshi gazes at you. Playfully you take the condom off his hands and gently run your fingers through his erection. The idea of taking all of him both excited and terrified you, and tried not to think much about it by slowly unfolding the condom along his length, your fingers lingering teasingly and tickling him as he growled lowly.

"God, [Name], what're you doing to me?" He purred leaning down and kissing you feverishly as once more you wrapped your legs around his waist and he positioned himself. "Can I?"

"Fuck yes. Yes, yes, please" you begged, as he pushed his shaft inside your folds, slowly, gently.

He knew he was a big guy. Big enough to not being able to fully go inside without hurting his girlfriend in turn. So, he expected you to tell him when you'd had enough of his length. However, you didn't. The deeper he went, the more you clawed your nails to his biceps.

"When you want me to stop, just say it"

"No, I want all of you" You whined, making his erection throb inside you

"Doesn't it hurt?" He purred, his eyes looking into yours.

"It does, but it feels so good. Please don't stop, Toshi, keep going" You breathed "Please"

He felt a shiver run down his back as he kept going. Your moans getting louder and your voice going a few notes higher, your face blushed, eyes shut. He was captivated by your look. You'd gone from enchanting and teasing siren to a completely submissive and shy doll. You gasped his name once he fully went inside, enjoying your warmth all along his dick.

He pulled out slowly before thrusting back in at the same speed as before. Once you'd gotten used to his length, you were dripping wet with arousal and opened your eyes to meet his.

"Toshi, faster" you whispered with the neediest of voices, tickling his gut.

"Darling I—"

"Babe, please. I'm gonna be fine" Hearing the sweet sound of your voice dripping with lust made it hard for him to disobey.

And as he sped up, your moans did too. He was beginning to feel a loss of control, as his thrust not only sped up, but became stronger. Your moans, washed with pleasure, soon got mixed with painful wines. Upon hearing the first one, he stopped at once.

"I-I'm sorry...are you—" He whispered.

"Yeah. Keep going. Toshi, it feels so fucking good, I swear. Don't stop babe" You begged as he began moving once more, pounding you, just like before. Stretching you, hitting you in the right places, as your toes curled un pleasure.

"Fuck, [Name]" Wakatoshi purred against your ear bwfore kissing your neck. "No girl has ever taken all of me before"

"Cowards" You sighed, swallowing a moan "You know what that means?"

Wakatoshi brushed his nose against yours and looked into your eyes, drowned in lust, with clear traces of affection melting together.

"What?"

"You're mine, and only mine" You cupped his face in your hands and brought him close to you. Kissing him in a rather sweet kiss, as he kept thrusting in and out.

"That's fine by me" He said between breaths before kissing you once more. As you moaned into his mouth, you swallowed his low grunts, both of your passions burning together.

You broke the kiss, and locked.eyes with him as he pulled out ready to lush his length back in

"And I'm yours, Wakatoshi" You said, before a loud moan escaped your lips as Toshi filled you up, stronger than before. His heart squeezing, as he stole a breathless kiss from your lips.

He whispered your name between kisses as his pace quickened. Your moans getting progressively louder and louder, as sweet nothings escaped his lips. Hypnotizing you, your hearts beating fast and synchronized. Your nails clawing on his skin, as he felt his orgasm build up once more. Giving in to the sound of your moans, and the arching of your back, it didn't take long for him to reach his second release. He came, burying his face in your neck as you gasped for air.

"Toshi, please. Don't stop. I'm close"

"[Name]" He panted as he sped up, stronger and faster than before. Your arms around his shoulders squeezed, as your nails dug into his skin. His name escaping your lips in tasty moans as you felt your core burn. Just like before, your walls tightened. He groaned loudly, feeling how your core closed in around his erection, squeezing him deliciously as you rode your orgasm. He kissed your neck, as your back and neck arched.

Your grip softened, as your body relaxed, breathing deeply, trying to catch your breath. Wakatoshi kissed you, tenderly, as you regained focus of the world. Still inside you, you tightened your legs around his hips to keep him from slipping out. You brushed his hair, melting your lips into his in a sweet gentle kiss.

He wished to remain like this forever. Just the both of you, caught in an euphoric ecstasy. Vulnerable, and exposed, clinging to that moment with sleepy kisses and sweet nothings. He finally slipped out and lied in bed next to you. Wrapping his arms around you, still wanting to feel every inch of your body against his. Agitated breaths filling the silence in the room, as fingers entwined mindlessly. Legs tangled.

Wakatoshi had never felt this much bliss in this entire life. He could stay like this forever, holding you close to him. You stared into each other's eyes, understanding how each other felt, without the need for words. He wondered if this was what people called intimacy. He felt so incredibly vulnerable, however, he knew everything was going to be okay. He felt safe and comfortable with you, and wondered if you felt as vulnerable as him.

"[Name]" wakatoshi broke the silence "didn't that...hurt?"

"It did, but it felt so good. Toshi, you have no idea how much I enjoyed that" You sighed, snuggling your face against his neck

"Oh, god. Good. I was worried I'd hurt you" He sighed.

"Did you?"

"Huh?" He looked at you clueless, suddenly forgetting what you'd just said.

"Enjoy it?" You asked.

"I've never had sex like that before" Ghb e murmured looking away from your eyes.

"Define that" you giggled.

"It was great. It was different to what I'm used to. I really enjoyed it"

"What are you used to?" Wakatoshi remained pensative for several seconds, recalling the memories of the times he'd sex with his exes.

"Shy, silent, a bit...robotic"

"Damn, Toshi. Did you actually like any of the girls you fucked?" You snapped as Wakatoshi looked at you in the eye.

"You" he said bluntly, as you felt yourself blush wildly in a single second.

"Other than me, silly. But thank you"

"I-I...I think so. I dont know. I've never liked a girl as much as I like you, that much is true as well"

"Terrible decision, really…" You chuckled.

"Are you kidding me? You're perfect, despite what everyone says about you. You're perfect for me, [Name]. I like you, and trust you, and really enjoy our company...” He muttered “I don’t feel awkward after having sex with you, and I enjoyed it at all. For once I had fun and didn't feel like a chore nor..."

"I feel bad for your exes, Toshi. But at the same time not. If they had a taste of this, I'm pretty sure they would've refused to let you go so easily. So, I'm glad I don't have to share this experience with anyone of them"

"Does that mean you're not gonna let me go so easily?"

"I'm not letting you go, period. Unless you want to, of course. But if I wasn't going to let you go, as a friend. After this...I-I...you get my point"

He didn't. But he could tell you were feeling uncomfortable by how easily you became speechless. He wondered what had gone through your mind to make you go silent and shy in a second.

"You're far too precious to me to forget about you. You've always been."

"God, so that's why all of your little fans and your exes hated me. You always found the time to hang out with me even when you spent the entire day training prepping for Nationals, didn't you?"

"Before tonight, I already knew I didn't want to lose you. After tonight, I'm sure I don’t want to kiss, nor hold any other girl who isn’t you"

"Toshi, call me crazy, but that's not news, but…"

"Yeah?"

"I've liked you for almost two years now, and...That’s a lot, you know? I’ve never had feelings for someone for this long...and—" You stopped, feeling how your heart suddenly went crazy.

"What is it?"

"God, if this were happening to me, I'd definitely think if this was a big red flag, how much lower can I sink?" You giggled nervously before looking back into Wakatoshi's eyes "I think I'm in love with you"

"I think…" Wakatoshi muttered as his brain quickly jumped and did the math, still processing what you'd told him "Tendo lost the bet"

"What?" You kept laughing awkwardly, trying to keep your panic under control.

"When I told Tendo I had feelings for you, he got all excited, saying he had won the bet…" Wakatoshi recalled. "But that was a year and a half ago. But I'm starting to think it was actually Semi who won the bet"

"Oh...okay…" You blinked confused. "Are you gonna tell them?"

"Does it matter? [Name], I honestly do not care who's the rightful winner of that bet"

Wkatoshi lifted your chin with his finger and leaned closer, sealing his lips with yours in a tender kiss.A kiss you wished had lasted a little longer. Such a sweet, delicate kiss, long enough to leave you breathless instantly, and short enough to leave you wanting more. The sort of kiss you wished to get every day from him.

"I love you too, [Name]” He purred, his nose brushing against yours, as you savoured not only the aftertaste of his kiss, but savouring his words.

You leaned closer, stealing a second hiss from him, as he, very obediently kissed you back. Wrapping your arms around him, you brought him closer, as he groaned softly into your lips, adjusting himself. Slowly, crawling on top of you once more, you wrapped our legs around his waist, and your arms around his back, desiring to feel his weight on top of you once more. He breathed your name between kisses, as his fingers mindlessly played with your hair, as both your lips kept dancing together, slowly, tenderly, passionately.

The fear and the anxiety had been long gone. Now, the consuming and intrusive thoughts of how wrong it was to be kissing your best friend were now replaced by a comfortable sense of security, as your love confessions played in each other’s head. The heat kept increasing and increasing, just like the sound of our moans and grunts. It was much less awkward this second round, maybe was the lack of clothes, or maybe the fact that you already knew how the other felt. This newfound intimacy was everything Wakatoshi needed. He loved the feeling of reciprocity, as the same desperation to feel you closer, not only irradiated from him, but also from you. The physical closeness as well as the emotional closeness pulled you together like a tender hug.

You wasted the night away learning more about each other on a physical level. What each other liked, what you didn't. Holding each other close, tasting each other, over and over again until the both of you were completely satisfied and exhausted. You soon fell asleep in each other's arms.

Wakatoshi knew he didn't want to spend his nights with any other girl who wasn't you. He didn't want to kiss any other girl who wasn't you. And god, he felt like the luckiest man alive. By the end of the night, he was yours. and you were his.

#i am pretty pleased with this honestly #ven though its so awfully long ajdjkfksffs #anyways #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #ushijima wakatoshi #wakatoshi x reader #wakatoshi imagine #wakatoshi ushijima #ushiwaka #ushijima x reader #haikyuu ushijima

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esther-dot · 4 years ago

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Do you think Robb cared about Sansa? It's pretty sad to me that all the memories or discussions of them don't particularly seem so. There's the ghost memory, where he and Jon scared her, and she ran away screaming, and then no one went looking for her. There's also his angry comments about her not mentioning Arya in her letter when she's a literal hostage. It just seems like Robb didn't have a strong bond to her.

I think the trueborn Stark kids are meant to have a strong familial bond, even if they don’t have particularly close personal relationships. In spite of whatever issues they have one-on-one, imo it is accurate to say that they love each other, that the author wants us to know that they deeply care. I know as a Sansa fan, I get overheated at times in defending her, and sometimes that involves griping about other characters, but as much as I might think they failed her, it’s a mistake to take it to the extreme of “they don’t love her.” The author is fascinated by where relationships fray, not all the strengths/upsides, so I think with the Starks, it’s easy to allow those negative moments to define the relationship (because we don’t have many depictions of them happy together) when to Martin, those tension filled moments are plot relevant/points of interest, not the all-encompassing reality.

I interpreted Robb’s decision not to trade for the girls as an attempt to put aside his personal desires to do what was best for his people. I think conflicting obligations, family vs honor vs duty vs love vs what is right is something the author wants to talk about, and I am sure that Bran ends up endgame king because he learns how to balance it in a way that Robb and Jon fail to (they’re kinda on two different ends of the spectrum). I have a problem when writing that I like my characters to be good/smart/right, but in literature, that’s not terribly interesting, and I think, Martin likes to address an issue by presenting it over and over in different contexts, talking about it the same thing from different angles, so I wouldn’t take Robb’s failure to prioritize Sansa to mean he didn’t care. It is more a part of the larger discussion of Martin’s themes. Poor Cat even has that line, “She could not even say that Robb was wrong.” (ACOK, Catelyn VI).

Even that ghost scene, I think it serves characterization, fearless Arya who stands her ground and decides to fight a ghost. She didn’t think “this is Jon,” she specifically punches the spirit, I mean, hilarious. Love it! But, likewise, we need Sansa to be in character, and Sansa is not someone who would fight. She doesn’t just love her songs, she believes in them, that she is the damsel who needs to be rescued. We’re also given the impression just being down there was terrifying to her, poor thing, so running makes sense. I know for an idealized big brother/little sister dynamic Robb would comfort her, but I have siblings and we tried to scare each other too. I was usually on the receiving end, and some of the shit they pulled was a bit much, but I don’t ever remember being comforted after. I have no complaints though. I think this scene is cute. I don’t think the boys were being cruel to the girls. It’s just what siblings do.

Anyway, I guess my point is, the author isn’t writing random stuff for the sake of it, he’s including scenes to establish who characters are and talk about his larger themes. Because we’re attached to the character while reading we focus on how it’s impacting us emotionally, simply experiencing the work, but when we have questions like this it’s helpful to take a step back and ask, “what is the writer doing here?”

Also, I think that the fandom has a tendency to expect modern family dynamics in a world that prohibits that. They have no issue with accepting dragons, but for some reason they can’t wrap their heads around the different gender roles/gender segregated education/that these people lived in a castle and not a 21st century house and what all of that means for family bonds. As in, there are some major obstacles to Sansa spending significant time with her brothers. Arya runs away from what she is meant to be doing to spend time with Jon and gets in trouble for it. We can assume Sansa doesn’t do that, just as we can assume Robb and Bran aren’t coming to the sewing circle. So, do they love her? Yes. But, I tend to agree that she likely had no truly, deep connection with Robb (or any sibling) through no fault of her own, or even theirs. If I ever do a reread, I might change my mind, but I don't think anyone in the family was particularly close to her or truly knew her inner life because what she loves/wants isn’t really something anyone else can relate to.

#ask dot #robb stark #sansa stark

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mrsjadecurtiss · 5 years ago

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A different ask! What do you think Roose actually feels about Ramsay? Just before the Red Wedding he talks very dismissively about how Ramsay could be executed for his crimes, but obviously he knows Robb's never gonna get the chance so maybe he cares more than that. But Ramsay (probably) killed precious Domeric? What does he actually feel about him and potential Walda baby(-ies)?

Thank you for your question :) I have divided my answer into points regarding the different aspects of your ask.

What do you think Roose actually feels about Ramsay?

In regards to the Roose-Ramsay relationship, some facts are important:

Roose did not raise Ramsay, and as far as we know did not interact with him in his childhood beyond the two times the miller's wife came to him after his birth. ("She was never to tell the boy who had fathered him." - Reek III, aDwD) All he knew about Ramsay was that he was his son, had his grey eyes, and was "wild and unruly" (the reason Ramsay's mom demanded a servant).

"Lord Bolton has never acknowledged the boy, so far as I know," Ser Rodrik said. "I confess, I do not know him." - Bran II, aCoK

Ramsay only came to the Dreadfort in 297AC (after Domeric died). This is extremely recent - for context, we have Dany chapters in aGoT taking place as early as 297AC, and the War of the five Kings starts at the end of 298 AC according to this timeline.

As a consequence, since Roose leaves the Dreadfort for the War of the five Kings, he assumed a paternal role for Ramsay in between 297AC and at most very early 299AC (The timeline has the battle of the green fork in January 6 and he'd need to travel to the south before that in the first place). This is only between 1-2 years depending on how early or late that year Domeric died (Shoutout to @blueagia who made me realize this timeline years ago).

Ramsay is violent and cruel, but not stupid (Roose even says he is “cunning” in Catelyn VI, aSoS). He was able to present himself as an ally to Theon in aCoK, and it stands to reason he might have given a salvagable impression to Roose at the beginning while he was testing the waters. Ned Stark is a just man who tried to execute the remote-living Jorah Mormont for slave trade; Since he never went after Ramsay, we can assume whatever Ramsay did during his time with Roose was discreet enough that word did not get to Lord Eddard, and so at the beginning Roose must have had no reason to complain too much about Ramsay's conduct either.

Eddard Stark had never had any reason to complain of the Lord of the Dreadfort, so far as Jon knew. - Jon VII, aDwD

"No tales were ever told of me. Do you think I would be sitting here if it were otherwise? Your amusements are your own, I will not chide you on that count, but you must be more discreet. A peaceful land, a quiet people. That has always been my rule. Make it yours." - Reek III, aDwD

Roose gets a legitimization for Ramsay as part of his benefit from doing the Red Wedding, showing that back then he still had an intention of keeping him as his son and heir. However, returning from the war in the south shows Roose how bad Ramsay's political decisions are when left on his own, including:

Leaving Donella Hornwood for dead, horrifically abusing Theon who is a valuable hostage and a potential ally, being unable to keep good optics and alienating his allies ("Surely you misspeak. You never slew Lord Eddard's sons, those two sweet boys we loved so well. [...] How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we'd retain if the truth were known? Only Lady Barbrey, whom you would turn into a pair of boots … " - Reek III, aDwD), abusing his wife "Arya Stark" who is beloved by their Northern allies, and more...

We see in the aDwD Theon chapters that Roose is still giving Ramsay advice and counsel (see again the Reek III quote), however he also appears to be despairing of him:

"I know." Lord Bolton sighed. "His blood is bad. He needs to be leeched. The leeches suck away the bad blood, all the rage and pain. No man can think so full of anger. Ramsay, though … his tainted blood would poison even leeches, I fear." - Reek III, aDwD

We also see in later Theon chapters that he frequently holds meetings without Ramsay:

[Roose:] "The hall is not the place for such discussions, my lords. Let us adjourn to the solar whilst my son consummates his marriage. The rest of you, remain and enjoy the food and drink." - The Prince of Winterfell, aDwD

Lord Bolton was not alone. Lady Dustin sat with him, pale-faced and severe; an iron horsehead brooch clasped Roger Ryswell's cloak; Aenys Frey stood near the fire, pinched cheeks flushed with cold. - A Ghost in Winterfell, aDwD

[Lady Dustin said] "Roose is not pleased. Tell your bastard that." - The Turncloak, aDwD

Implying he is losing faith in his son, or otherwise does not trust him or value his input when it comes to political situations; a bad omen considering heirs like Robb usually sit with their fathers in councils.

My impression is that Roose initially adopted Ramsay as an heir for the following reasons:

- Sentimentality, since Ramsay is a son of his own blood ("I should've had the mother whipped and thrown her child down a well … but the babe did have my eyes." [...] "Now [Domeric's] bones lie beneath the Dreadfort with the bones of his brothers, who died still in the cradle, and I am left with Ramsay. Tell me, my lord … if the kinslayer is accursed, what is a father to do when one son slays another?" - Reek III aDwD). As a member of a patriarchal society, Roose was raised with the expectation that he will continue his bloodline, and so likely has the wish to be succeeded by his son.

- Practicality, since Ramsay is already an adult, so he doesn't have to raise and invest in another child for years ("That's for the best. I will not live long enough to see new sons to manhood, and boy lords are the bane of any House." - Reek III, aDwD). [Speculation: For a new son, he would also have to remarry, and both his prior wives are implied to not have liked him ("The two before her never made a sound in bed" - Reek III, aDwD) while he also doesnt speak of them with fondness - so he might also prefer to be single and raise his bastard instead of having to deal with yet another unpassionate/unloving marriage (considering he's middle aged and uncharismatic, a young new wife wouldn't be thrilled about him), until he finds a marriage that provides him a good benefit (like the Frey money + alliance).]

- The belief that, despite Ramsay being raised a peasant and having violent tendencies, it is possible to "educate him" so that he becomes a functioning member of society (see again my point about Roose counseling him). Roose possibly initially projects some of his own personality on Ramsay (Compare this meta i wrote).

During aGoT-aSoS he must have still thought Ramsay viable, which is why he has him legitimized by the crown. He has not known Ramsay closely for long; This explains why he kept him around even though he is so unfit as an heir (it takes time to fully realize that), but also explains why he is so dismissive of him, as that short time of knowing him as an adult would not make him fond of Ramsay the same way one might be fond of a child they raised.

Roose then realizes after the war, as seen in a Dance with Dragons, that Ramsay is not a fitting heir. What this means for the later books is open for now... Will he abandon Ramsay? Use him as a scapegoat? Or still try to salvage him? I personally believe he is starting to see Ramsay as a danger, and is starting to think about how to best get rid of him.

Just before the Red Wedding he talks very dismissively about how Ramsay could be executed for his crimes, but obviously he knows Robb's never gonna get the chance so maybe he cares more than that.

My belief is that Roose is fundamentally selfish and worried about his own skin. While he has the goal to establish Ramsay as a capable heir, he prioritizes his own safety and reputation. By distancing himself from Ramsay's crimes in front of the other Northmen, he can't be blamed for them; by using Ramsay as a scapegoat for Bolton crimes, he himself can wash his hands from the involvement and won't be hurt if any crimes come to light. If he keeps pointing attention at how Ramsay is wild/cruel/treacherous, then the northmen are more likely to suspect/blame Ramsay than the "peaceful" Roose. Also, even if he cared for Ramsay, he would never openly admit it because it's something that could be used against him (same reason as to why he generally keeps his emotions under wraps).

If you compare this scene from aCoK (where Ramsay is believed dead) with the scene you mentioned from aSoS, you can see that to prioritize his own safety and reputation he will sacrifice Ramsay; but he will also defend Ramsay ("Yet he is a good fighter, as cunning as he is fearless.") as long as it serves his interests, of course while still keeping an emotional distance.

One important thing about Roose is that he does not always say the things he actually thinks; When looking at his quotes it is not only important to look at what he says, but which intentions he has with his words and what effect he wants them to have on the person listening. Compare this quote by grrm:

Lord Bolton may well have all sorts of things in mind. Whether or not he would act on any of those thoughts is another matter. Roose is the sort of fellow who keeps his thoughts to himself. - SSM

But Ramsay (probably) killed precious Domeric

"Ramsay killed him. A sickness of the bowels, Maester Uthor says, but I say poison." - Roose in Reek III, aDwD

This is speculative, but I personally believe that case is not as clear-cut as it is made to look. Poisoning Domeric does not necessarily seem like Ramsay's style; i often see people in fandom suspect that his mother is actually the culprit. I personally suspect the first Reek of killing Domeric - we know he once stole perfume, meaning he knows his way around the castle, and he also got looked at by a maester implying he might know the maester’s chamber where poisons could be kept. He has ample reason to hate Roose, who let him live with the pigs and had him whipped and later sent him to live with Ramsay, but also seems to have interest in improving Ramsay's status ("She made him, her and Reek, always whispering in his ear about his rights." - Reek III aDwD). He is also known to be inseperable from Ramsay, so if Ramsay went to meet Domeric, Reek would come with him.

Either way it could be that Roose just didnt initially believe Ramsay killed Domeric since it looked like he died from sickness, and only later changed his mind on this issue - note that Barbrey Dustin, whom he is implied to have regularly spent time with shortly before the quote about Ramsay killing Domeric, seems to be a believer that Ramsay was the murderer, so she might be the one who convinced Roose; And maybe Ramsay's bad conduct during the time of the war aided to make Roose believe her. Changing his mind on this could influence his decision on what to do with Ramsay come the Winds of Winter.

Or alternatively, if we’re keeping closer to the text, he just thought the positives of keeping Ramsay outweigh the negatives of him being a kinslayer; however it seems odd that Roose, who is so worried about his safety, would adopt a man if his first act he knows of was this treacherous and dangerous. Then again he frequently verbally states that he does not see Ramsay as a threat, which can be read in different ways depending on if you take it as a literal statement or as a tool to enact dominance over his dangerous son.

"All you have I gave you. You would do well to remember that, bastard.” [...]

“I know what he said. You're to spy on me and keep his secrets." Bolton chuckled. "As if he had secrets. Sour Alyn, Luton, Skinner, and the rest, where does he think they came from? Can he truly believe they are his men?" - Reek III, aDwD

What does he actually feel about him and potential Walda baby(-ies)?

I think he would like to have a son that continues his values and manages to be a capable heir to continue the Bolton line. Domeric was the ideal son, talented and competent, and Roose invested a lot of time and money in giving him a great education. Now that Domeric died and all of this is down the drain, and Roose himself isn't getting any younger, he wants to have a new heir in a way that's the most convenient for him. It appears to me like he is currently weighing the positives of each option (Ramsay or new Baby), and it might even be that he has already come to a decision, considering how he is starting to grow frustrated with Ramsay.

"I have become oddly fond of my fat little wife. [...] Ramsay will kill [all the sons she bears me], of course. That's for the best. I will not live long enough to see new sons to manhood, and boy lords are the bane of any House." - Reek III, aDwD

In line with my earlier point about Roose’ words also being about the effect and not just the message, I believe the line about him being ok with Ramsay killing his sons might be very calculated towards the fact that Roose knows Theon is to report everything he hears back to Ramsay. If Ramsay hears this, he is placated, because it confirms that he is still the main Bolton heir - which means that he does not have to think about harming Lady Walda (because the sons are no threat to his position), and he does not have to think about harming Roose (because he just has to wait until he can succeed him).

Of course all of this post is based off the first five books, so the interpretation may change once the next book comes out or through a different reading of the lines.

#asoiaf #roose bolton #ramsay bolton #asoiaf meta #meta #asks #i have a cold i hope this is coherent as a whole... if you have questions feel free to come into my ask box #mzyraj

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kim-ruzek · 4 years ago

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How to make a marriage work

Summary: If you had told when she first met Hank Voight that one day she’d be going to him for relationship advice, Kim would’ve strongly recommended you get your head checked out.

Set sometime in season three; Kim needs advice on how to be married, and goes to one of the only people in her life who's had a successful marriage.

Word Count: 2.5k

Read on AO3

Notes: This is a gift for Cíara (@fighterkimburgess ). They put me in my parental feels and i just have this need to Reward and gift them things. I've had this idea for a while and never planned on writing it bc I never could make it work, and it's self indulgent and I couldn't work out how it'd fit with season three Voight (bc he's not on the level, say, season seven Voight is) but my mind is inspired today and it just worked.

But yes. This is self indulgent and bc I was in my dad! Voight feels and Cíara just has a remarkable and incredible way of saying things that one) inspires me and two) makes me understand the nuances of this man.

Plus y'know. We've got burzek being cute in this and that promo dictated I needed to write cute burzek.

Enjoy!!!

Come on, Kimberly. Kim tells herself, her inner voice taking on a firm, no nonsense tone that reminds her strongly of Platt’s. You’ve faced down guns, you can do this.

Her mind rebels against that sentiment, and she wonders if she was actually given the choice—to do this, or to face down yet another gun—if she’d choose the gun, depending how much she’s bricking it right now.

It’s just Voight, she thinks, taking a few more deep breaths. Of course, it’s not just Voight. Physically, yes, it’s just the Sargent. But it’s not just Voight, it’s her boss, it’s the man who holds everyone to such high professional standards, it’s Voight after hours, it’s an unscheduled meeting.

And, the thing that’s playing on her mind so much, the thing that has made her keep hesitating, it’s the man who looked over her for Intelligence because of his perceived understanding of Adam and her.

There’s a lot of reasons that makes Kim justified about trying to go up to Voight’s office and instead having false starts, turning back around to flee to the locker room before he could see her. Even if she’s fearless in the face of danger, she still has every right to be unsure about this.

After all, he is her boss. And he might care about those he’s in charge of, especially his unit and Kim likes to think it’s also to those close to them. Definitely Platt, but also herself and Roman. But he dictates when things are personal, and that’s so far and few between. He’s a man who plays everything close to the chest and there’s so many reasons that tells Kim that this isn’t something she should consider, that he’s probably just going to give her a look and dismiss her.

And Kim definitely will be risking whatever chance she has left of ever being offered a spot in intelligence.

All this is valid, and if anyone else knew of her plans, they’d agree that she’d be justified to just scrap this whole idea. But every day of this job is a lesson, and Kim has learnt a lot since starting. And she’s learnt a lot since Voight came in as their new Sargent—especially when Adam was hired.

Kim was passed over because Voight thought she was sleeping with Adam. And that hurt, hurt more than Kim thinks she’d ever be able to express in words.

But through that, Kim learnt things about herself. That she’s determined, and this is her dream, and that she can still succeed and achieve even when she’s passed over. And that she should just stick to what she’s doing, to prove herself, to show that everything she does, especially in her personal life, doesn’t affect what kind of cop she is.

A lesson that came in handy when she was shot, and he actually offered her the spot. That she knew she wanted to earn it in a different way, not just because she was shot.

Kim also learned something else. That this job may her everything, and that intelligence may be her dream, but there are some things that’s worth being flexible over.

That Adam is worth being flexible for.

The day they got together, Kim had already been passed over. And by dating Adam, she was risking it happening again, but she had learnt that she just needs to keep what she’s doing, showing she can be an uncompromised cop, even while dating in house. And that Adam, she wanted Adam so much that she wasn’t going to deprive herself of something that could be so good just for an opportunity she may never get.

And then she proved herself, even when dating Adam, and Kim knows her choice was right, even if she turned the promotion down.

And it was after then, even though she knows just how much intelligence is her dream, that she knew that Adam—being with him—is her dream, too. And Kim has no control, not really, over her intelligence dream. All she can do is keep being a good cop, and hoping that it pays off. But she has control over her and Adam, about the dream she has for them, of making sure the ring on her finger actually means something.

That lesson, perhaps, was the most important one for her to learn. Jobs come and go, even something as amazing as intelligence. Kim wants to one day be something higher than a detective, so she may have to leave intelligence anyway, and there’s more units and good positions in the cpd to be in, even if intelligence is her dream.

But soulmates? That person who just gets you, that person you love with your whole heart? That’s one in a lifetime, and that’s who Adam is. Adam is her love and who knows what her future, job wise, holds, but Kim knows that Adam is her future.

Knows that she wants Adam to be her future, wants the life they are trying so hard to get, even if things are tough right now.

Kim can feel that future slip away. She can feel it in any slightly edged remark they exchange, can feel it in how they keep pushing off the wedding planning, can feel it in how sometimes she’s so reluctant to go home.

And she doesn’t want it to slip away. She wants Adam. She wants him to be hers for the rest of her life, for them to grow old together. She wants to be his bride, his wife, the mother of his kids. She wants all this, but she’s been feeling like she’s scrabbling against a flat wall, unable to climb over. Like she knows what’s on the other side, a happy life, but she doesn’t know how to get there.

And Kim wants to know. And Voight— Voight is the answer to that.

If you had told when she first met Hank Voight that one day she’d be going to him for relationship advice, Kim would’ve strongly recommended you get your head checked out. Her Sargent is a tough man, who so very rarely shows his softer side.

Kim might even doubt he has one, if it wasn’t for those two times in the hospital, when Zoey was critical and when she was shot.

But things are spiralling, spiralling in a way she does not want them to spiral, in her and Adam’s relationship and she doesn’t know how to stop it. Kim doesn’t think they need relationship counselling—they’re not that messy, not to her—but she needs advice.

It was a realisation that came to her one late night. Adam’s arm was wrapped around her waist, him snoring softly next to her and if she closed her eyes, she could almost forget the epic fight they had not five minutes before bed.

Although, Kim wonders, can it even be a fight, not to mention able to be described as epic, if it was done in hushed whispers? Olinsky and his daughter were in their living room, so they used muted tones, but the words were biting, almost more than any of their other fights ever were.

It was in this realisation that Kim also realised that she doesn’t exactly know anyone with a thriving and successful marriage. Anyone she went to school with who is married doesn’t have the same relationship and life dynamics as she does, and Kim’s socialisation tends to just be limited to those she works with or the other first responders.

And first responders have such tough jobs, and such because of the nature of it, relationships aren’t exactly the most successful thing about their lives.

The only person her age who Kim could think of who had a successful marriage is Natalie, but she’s just met the doctor and asking a grieving widow—no matter how long you’ve known them—the secrets to a successful marriage is just cruel.

Olinsky has been married a long time, even despite everything, him and Meredith are only separated. But the very act of them being separated perhaps disqualifies him from being someone to seek marriage advice from. Especially as, from what Kim has gathered, they seemed to have a flawed relationship anyway, despite being in love.

There’s always Herrmann, of course. But while Kim gets along with the man, the thought of asking him this felt too personal. And she wasn’t sure if he’d be much help. He has a very successful marriage, and his job is tough like hers, but the dynamics just didn’t feel right for who she wants advice from. Adam and her, they’re stubborn and closed off and they need a guide like that.

Platt has a successful relationship, but she’s already someone Kim goes to. A great help, even if Kim ends up getting more information than she wishes for, but she needs a second pair of eyes and a fresh perspective.

And finally, Antonio. Antonio has been a great help to her when it comes to the job, but he’s divorced and Kim’s not sure if he’d be the best person to go to.

Which just leaves Voight. And as far as Kim knows, Voight’s the only one in their circle who’s had a successful marriage.

Of course, Voight doesn’t like personal talk. And Kim rather gets the impression that only a small handful of people gets to see Voight talking about his wife, especially as he’s a widow. But she has to try.

Taking a deep breath, Kim heads out the locker room and towards the bullpen—towards Voight’s office. It’s after hours and everyone is home or on a stakeout, and Voight’s doing paperwork. Kim had texted Adam saying she’ll be late home, not telling him it’s because she’s going to his boss for relationship advice.

Kim hesitates before she knocks on his office door, and she nearly runs away-- again—but then Voight looks up at that moment, their eyes locking.

Well, she thinks, here goes nothing.

Kim raps lightly on the door, Voight still watching her, curiously, as she does so. He waves her in before she even finished her tap and she opens the door cautiously, offering him a half smile.

“Burgess.” He gives her a nod. “Shouldn’t you be home by now?”

“Yeah. I just—I wanted to ask you something, if that’s alright? If you’re busy I can go—” Kim tells him. There’s half a second pause, but then Voight’s waving at the seat in front of his desk, telling her to sit down. She does.

“If it’s about intelligence, I don’t have room.” Voight says before she can start and Kim’s certain that she turns red, cringing at the thought that he might think of her that desperate.

“No, it’s nothing about that. It’s well, uh,” She really didn’t think this through, and she wishes she thought more about how to ask him. Voight just raises his eyebrows, leaning back slightly, waiting for her to finish.

“Well, you were married, right? And you know that Adam and I...well you know. And I just want to know—well, how? How did you do it? We see so much and we all have our own issues on top of that and I just. I don’t know how to make a marriage work.” Saying the words out loud makes it hit Kim, makes the reality so much more real, and her heart twists. Twists that she can’t believe in them, that she needs help to do something she should already know how to do. Twists at how much just admitting this has lifted a weight of her shoulders, showing just how bad she is at this.

Surprise is written all over Voight’s face; he had clearly not expected this to be what she was going to say. It feels like eternity, Voight just looking at her, before he speaks.

“Camille—my wife—is to thank for that.” He begins, leaning forward, looking serious but with a softness to his expression. “She was... An angel. Patient but firm, and she didn’t take any shit and no work excuses.”

There’s another pause, and Kim waits patiently, just glad that he didn’t just dismiss her, or tell her that she had no business even asking.

“I was wrong, to judge you and Ruzek. You’re both professionals and I can see you’re well suited to each other. My Camille was a romantic, and I think she would’ve been quite taken with the pair of you—and please, take that as a compliment. I don’t think she would’ve liked Erin with Halstead. Me, I’m not so much of one, just do your work and I’m good. So I won’t be much help,” Kim gets it, understands, but she can’t help but feel deflated at that.

“But,” Voight continues before she can stand up to go. “You’re good police, Burgess. Both you and Ruzek are. I’ll tell you some things my Camille taught me, and I hope that it helps.”

It doesn’t take long for Voight to say all he had to say, him saying everything very manner of fact in that way of his, but Kim appreciates the gesture for what it is. That this is Voight showing his belief in her—in Adam, too—and that means just as much as Voight sharing this with her.

Kim thinks that Camille must’ve been a wonderful woman, thinking about how Voight’s lips turned up slightly, his eyes lighting up that little bit more, as he repeated what his wife had taught him to her. And a wise woman, she thinks, as his words replays in her mind as she heads home, feeling more certain and confident in her relationship, in the future of her relationship, than she ever has been.

“Hey,” Kim immediately greets Adam with warmth in her voice when she gets home, wrapping her arms around him, cuddling into his body. She doesn’t miss the lookout surprise on his face, however, or how it quickly fades, him wrapping his arms around her tight and sighing contently.

“Hey, darlin’. Where have you been?” He asks, kissing the top of her head.

“Just had to finish some stuff up at work.” Kim answers, talking into him as she still cuddles to him.

“Hm? Anything important?”

“Nothing that’s more important than being with you,” Kim answers truthfully, Voight’s words ringing around her head. She then tilts her head up, still in his arms, so she could look at him. “I was thinking. About us getting our own place? Since we can’t decide right now, I’m just going to move in with you. Living together is more important to me then where we’re living.”

“Darlin’ no, I want to give you what you want. We’ll find a place,” Adam shakes his head and Kim steals a quick kiss before continuing.

“I know we will. I’m not saying to stop looking, just. I want to actually live in one place, so until we do, I’m ending my lease and moving in here, properly.” Kim explains.

“Well, I have no complaints about that,” Adam grins, kissing her. “What made you decide this?”

“Just got reminded about what’s really important. And that’s us. Not where we live, or when we get married or anything. Just me and you and our love.” Kim answers, smiling up at him, her smile only grinning as she sees the affect her words have on him.

“I love you, darlin’,”

“I love you, too. Now, to what’s actually important right now—you, lifting me up and taking me to bed, right this second. I need you to fuck me, future husband.” Kim says, watching as Adam’s eyes darken, him gripping her tighter.

“Your wish is my command, future Mrs Ruzek,”

#burzek #kim burgess #hank voight #adam ruzek #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #ree writes #ree's.writing

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vorish-musing · 5 years ago

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Risky Business (IT Chapter Two)

Summary: Eddie is a monster hunter, he’s called back to his hometown, there's another man eating monster, he just never realized how fucked this job could be.

Warnings: this story contains soft, safe, G/t vore. if you do not like this, I suggest not reading. this is also not a story for the faint of heart, there is (not super graphic) moments of fatal/hard vore, digestion mention (does not occur), fearplay, and the usual cussing warning.

Hi guys! its been so long! I’ll be honest, i was not planning on posting this, since this was a WIP discarded back in march, but while watching the movie again, I realized I needed to finish this, I really hope y’all like it!

NSFW DO NOT INTERACT

Risk analysis? Was that Job invented before fun?

Well, it Depends on what you call ‘fun’

For Eddie Kaspbrak, risk analysis is fun.

He couldn’t remember much of his past, all that he knew was that monsters existed, the ones that hid under your bed, the ones that prey in the night, he didn’t know how he discovered this for the longest time, he just... knew.

He knew he had to have encountered a monster at one point, but he just couldn't remember when.

His first instinct was to kill these monsters, though after further consideration of how the ethics of that worked, plus the morality of him being the judge, jury and executioner was pretty skewed. He decided to analyze these creatures, at least the ones he found. Witches, Vampires, werewolves, ghosts.

So yeah, he was a Risk Analysis, he analyzed creatures that we’re a risk to human kind.

And yes, it was Fun.

Being a part of a small group of people who knew these monster movie critters existed was something he wished he could brag about.

Though everything changed when he got that call from Mike Hanlon, Begging him to come back to Derry to fight that clown. That damned clown.

His memories flooded back, the childhood trauma of that summer, 1989, when everyone they knew started turning up missing, really they were dead, nothing more than food to the demon living in the sewers

It was then, fighting that demon, when he realized that analyzing these monsters wasn’t enough anymore.

They were not a risk, they were a threat.

Once he got back to his home in new york, he began his own business, he tried finding his way into different circles, ones he never thought existed, multiple people with stories of slaying beasts of all shapes and sizes, and he was now one of them.

He got a second phone, one he could use for his side job, he went under an alias, Richie Marsh. Not creative, a little embarrassing, but it worked.

He would get calls almost daily, he made pretty good money, but he had one rule, only kill if it had harmed first. He always turned the monsters who had done no wrong away, allowed him to get some sleep at night, knowing that he was saving others lives while doing this.

Hell, the first time he met a vampire, the dude just chilled alone in a cabin in the woods. Not bothering anybody.

He began making a name for himself in the business and it had only been a year, it was impressive to all about his knowledge, how much he knew about these creatures, how fearless he could be.

Up to this day, he scribbled down notes about the varying creatures he saw and met. Sitting in his living room, the constant scritch of his pencil was interrupted by a ringing from his pocket.

He took his ‘work’ phone out of his jeans, putting the device to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Is this Richie Marsh?” A familiar voice was heard on the other end, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Eddie ran a hand through his hair, thankful his phone had a voice modifier, just in case he actually knew the person on the other line.. Even though chances of that were slim to none. “Depends who’s asking”

with one hand, he took a sip of water in a glass, while with the other he opened a new page in his notebook, ready to write down this stranger's name.

“My name is Mike Hanlon, I was given this number by a friend, he told me you could help me”

Slim to none huh?

Eddie coughed up the drink back into his cup,“M-Mike Hanlon?”

“Uh...yes, I...I need your help”

Eddie scribbled down the name very quickly, though nothing in the world could make him forget it. “with what? What's going on?” he felt his heart racing, he didn’t want any of his friends to know what kind of danger he was putting himself into, he didn’t want them to know, or even try it themselves.

“Well… I live in Derry, Maine. There was a curse in this town...right? A monster, it killed a lot of people, but me and my friends… we stopped it.” Mike's voice sounded nervous.

“I...see…” Eddie’s voice wavered, hoping that this wouldn’t be another call back to defeat a killer clown “if you stopped it, why are you calling?”

“Because people are going missing again, but I know it's not what we fought, it's something else, nothing is being left behind, they’re just...vanishing.”

Eddie scribbled a few words down, his throat getting dry as he began to sweat nervously “okay...what's the age range of the missing persons?”

Please don't be kids….please don’t be kids.

“All adults, the other creature went for children, and those killings lasted for a year at least. This happens every few weeks, from my calculations, it's once every 3 weeks, and if I'm right, they're supposed to be here by Friday, they start hunting at night.”

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as he wrote what mike was saying down, opening his laptop and began booking a flight for Friday afternoon “okay, got it. have you seen this creature.”

There was an awkward pause, before Mike answered, almost embarrassed, “No.”

“Then how do you know all of this?” He wanted to believe Mike was reading too much into things, that Derry wasn’t being terrorized with another monster.

“Because one of the missing people has come back, and she came to me-- I’m somewhat of a Private eye in this town” Eddie smiled--good for him, making a name for himself in Derry.

“I talked with this one lady, she told me that she didn’t remember much, but whatever was out there, her two friends were killed, she didn’t tell me how they died, or even how she escaped...she just woke up..”

Eddie scribbled some more “do you know how many there are?”

“No. but I believe there's more than one, if you come in the next few days we can meet up and-”

Eddie shot up out of his seat “NO!” he heard mike go silent, before adding “uh...no...i’d rather uh...keep my face a secret”

Mike let out a laugh “of course, of course. We will have to talk more though, I have many notes and things that I’ve observed-”

‘Text me them, I have to go”

“But-”

Eddie hung up before he could hear the rest of that sentence, falling back into his seat. He put both hands on his face and sighed loudly.

He had to go back to Derry, and he had to avoid seeing Mike there too. He let out a groan, sitting up and finishing the booking process, it was only two days away, but that gave him enough time to pack everything he needed.

Those two days went by very fast. Mike tried to pay, but Eddie insisted it be free, not wanting to take money from his friend. Next thing he knew, he was on a plane to Derry, a rental car waiting for him and another traumatic nostalgia trip was in his future.

Once the plane landed, he quickly made his way through the airport, wearing a baseball cap in a poor attempt to hide his face. He got into his rental car, driving as fast as he (legally) could on the roads to his hotel room, texting Mike that he had landed, and was going to scope out the locations where Mike had claimed the creatures were.

As he drove through the streets, he began noticing the missing persons signs, it reminded him of when he was young, and there were people he knew going missing. He shook his head. Whatever those creatures were, He was sure he would stop it.

He parked his car in front of the hotel, getting a room key and making his way up with his bags. He used to be very particular where he stayed, but as the months went on with this job, he would just take what he could get.

As he settled in, he got another call from Mike.

“If you need any help, I’m no stranger to killing monsters, just give me a call” Mike sounded worried, but it also sounded like he wanted Eddie to say yes to him coming along, but the man couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“I’m fine Mr. Hanlon. Thank you.”

“Okay, most of the missing persons were last seen around the woods, be careful, the trees go on and on, outside of the town and basically into the next, which is an hour away when Driving” Mike explained a few more things about the town, which of course, Eddie already knew about.

After speaking for a few more minutes about the plan, Eddie hung up the phone, it felt so awkward to be speaking to him under his alias, it was the most disconnected he had ever felt while on the job.

Once he gets all of his hunting gear in order, he puts it under the bed, just in case housekeeping decides to come in, and promptly leaves the room.

If he had to be here for the next day or so, he could at least go out and get some food.

As he walked down the streets of Derry, he made sure wherever he would go, nobody was following, and that nobody who knew him could recognize him.

He soon settled on a cafe near the hotel, walking into the establishment and ordering coffee with a BUNCH of espresso shots inside, after all, he needed all the energy he could get. He was usually much more healthy, but on jobs, he needed as much caffeine as humanly possible.

Sitting at an empty booth in the cafe, he took his journal out, scribbling a few notes down, his plan, he never really needed a plan, but it was nice to have one. He was sure this was a simple case that would be solved in less than an hour, so he didn’t pay much mind to it.

The barista comes to his table, setting his cup of pure caffeine down. Before she could leave, Eddie pulled out a $20 bill out of his wallet, giving it to her

“Save up every cent, get out of this town, it’ll be good for you” she gave him a confused look, like she was expecting him to pull it away as a joke, but with a look in his eyes, she took the money.

The barista smiled, her eyes bright and much more charismatic than his, “thank you sir.” she pocketed the money in her apron “ and that's the plan, as soon as I have enough money, I’m leaving this hell hole--just me and my shitty van. all the way to broadway”

He nodded as she walked away. He took a sip of his bitter drink, going over his notes a few more times--now should I ambush or wait--

“Eddie?”

His heart stopped dead as he snapped his head up, hearing his name, slamming the book closed.

His eyes met Richie's, who seemed equally as shocked to see him there. They stared at each other for a few moments.

W...why is he here?! He...he can’t be here now...what the fuck?

There was something off in Richie's overall appearance, he looked very sick, malnourished, hunched over and wearing clothes that looked like they hadn’t been washed in weeks, his eyes looked like he was coming straight from the morgue.

Though his face was one of shock and confusion as to why Eddie was in Derry that night, Eddie was almost disappointed Richie was not happy to see him there.

“Holy shit trashmouth” Eddie sat up straight “What the hell are you doing here?” He motioned for Richie to sit down, which the man obliged to very quickly.

“Just passing through, I have to get down to uh… Ludlow, Maine.” to this, Eddie was confused, it sounded like Richie was making things up on the spot “I uh...got a show down there, w-what are you doing in Derry?”

He knew when Richie was lying, he always knew, he never told Richie this, but since they grew up together, he watched the mannerisms he had when lying, and could always tell ever since.

But that's because he didn’t want to look stupid, believing what Richie said. Definitely not because he liked to watch the man, and DEFINITELY not because he admired him for lying with so much ease.

Definitely not.

Eddie nodded, taking a sip of coffee “Just uh…” he quickly thought of a lie, “Visiting Mike, I wanted to surprise him, plus, wanted to get away from New York for a while”

“Interesting.” Richie’s eyes fell to the journal Eddie was desperately trying to keep hidden “Aw, does Eddie have a diary?”

Eddie let his face falter a bit, showing off his worry, pulling his journal “its it’s for work, asshat” he narrowed his eyes.

Richie, one who usually would keep poking at Eddie, slumped back a bit “Well, I gotta get going, Nice seeing you around.” he stood up, ready to walk away.

“Wait, come on.” Eddie looked up at the man, extremely confused “are you okay, man? If I'm honest, you look like shit.”

“Yeah i'm...fine.I just gotta get some...thing to eat” Richie eyed him up and down slowly, before exiting the building without another word.

Eddie just stared at the door as Richie walked away, well, not really walking, he was pretty much stumbling away.

Though as he left, the two men from before waved at Richie, like they knew him...probably just fans, Eddie couldn’t afford to read too much into things.

He shook his head, taking another sip of his coffee and reopening his book once again, Richie was probably drunk, and there was no surprise there. Eddie noticed how much Richie would drink last time they met, and this behavior didn’t surprise him.

But it was strange.

He quickly finished up his cup of coffee, placing his cup at the edge of the table, another waitress quickly coming to pick it up as he left the coffee shop, holding onto his journal tightly as he walked through Derry.

He checked his phone, a few missed messages from Mike, sharing a few more of his findings, but Eddie couldn’t bother to read them, his mind was only on Richie.

Why was he lying? What was he doing here? Questions whizzed around his head. Did Richie know something? Did Mike call him too?

Eddie sighed, he better get back to his hotel room, no use thinking about it now. He had a task at hand, and he had to get ready in the next few hours.

And that he did.

He was prepared for everything, he had a few guesses to what the monster was, a werewolf, a demon? but nothing really fit perfectly. demons kill people, but it's not like they would let people escape. Werewolves fit better, you could escape one, but they were not very...cleanly with their kills.

Whatever it was, it was going to be killed, no matter how many there were.

An alarm went off in his phone, letting the man know it was time to leave, get to the woods and start investigating.

He grabbed his bag, filled to the brim with gear, and headed out the door, texting Mike that he was headed out, and that the man needed to refrain from further messages, until Eddie had texted first of course.

He placed his phone back into his pocket, swiftly leaving the building. It was only a twenty minute walk to the forest, but if it felt like forever, his body felt shaky, like he should just turn around.

He never felt like this before, he chalked it up to nerves, with being back in Derry. Something in him still believed it could be IT, but he knew that wasn’t the case. If it was, ‘Richie Marsh’ wouldn’t be out, it would be the losers.

Before he even knew it, he was in the woods, walking down a manmade concrete pathway, exactly where Mike told him to go, trees making it seem like he was walking through a hedge maze.

As he walked down the path, it seemed to get more and more confusing, like he couldn’t even remember where he was going, but thinking it was nerves, he kept going.

His heart stopped as he heard a woman's scream break the cold silence of the night, the sound of heels clicking on the concrete coming closer and closer.

As quick as he could, he bolted towards the sound of the woman, following her voice. He carefully took out a gun from his bag as he ran down the pathway, his finger on the trigger.

Soon enough, a woman came into his field of vision, she was wearing a black apron, a dirty white shirt caked in blood, and a tattered pair of shorts.

it was the Barista from the coffee shop, She waved her arms wildly as she ran towards him, stumbling around like an animal.

“Please! Please help me! He’s gonna kill me!”

Eddie placed the gun back into his bag, putting it on his back and grabbing onto her as she ran into him.

Her makeup was running down her face, blood all over her skin, her hair was a mess, what once was a perfect simple bun, was now tangled with branches and all kinds of dirt in it.

“Ma’am calm down its okay we just-”

“No you don't understand! We can’t stay here we have to run!” She whisper-yelled at him, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the trees, straying from the pathway. “If they find us they’ll kill us!” she pulled him into a ditch, her breath shaky and tears flooding down her face.

“Okay… Okay take a deep breath, what the hell happened?” Eddie reached into his bag, grabbing his first-aid kit, ready to seal up any wound on her.

She took deep breaths, holding onto her arms as she shivered “these two guys, he… came into the cafe I work in, He was so nice” she let out a laugh, sniffling a sob. “I was so stupid, he asked me and my coworker out, and we said yes, it was supposed to be a walk in the woods, a nice walk… “

“Where’s your coworker now?” Eddie pulled out a cloth to wipe her off with, before he could give it to her, she began sobbing.

“The man…the thing! It ate her!” she said through her sobs. “While we were walking, they… they began saying weird things, like ‘dinner is ready' we didnt know what they meant! They meant us! This man came out of the woods, i called out to him, he just looked away, I think he was one of them.”

As she spoke, he watered down the cloth, giving it to her. “he...ate her?”

She sighed, wiping her face with the cloth, “this is going to sound crazy…” she hesitated, sniffling again as she looked at him.

“I deal with crazy almost 3 times a week, this is why I’m here, you’re gonna be okay, this is my job.”

She nodded nervously “there was another man there, he was in the trees, before we could even say anything, all three of them...grew..into giants...and… my coworkers date...he picked her up and…”

She suddenly fell into a crying fit once more, falling into eddies lap, he rubbed her back, trying to console her.

“He… he bit her in half!” she screamed through sobs. “I got away, the one in the trees just watched me, who knows how close he is.”

He felt sick as she cried, and Eddie looked away from her… this wasn’t what he expected, no wonder nothing was making sense, there was nobody, because they would eat it.

He was about to say something, as they heard the sound of leaves crunching and branches breaking. “It's not my fault you lost the bitch”

The girl froze, her cries stopping out of fear, she covered her mouth. She shared a terrified look with Eddie, who shared the same look.

“Well it's not mine either, I was in the middle of eating!” the man sounded so nonchalant when talking about murder, but then again, most monsters weren’t remorseful.

“Will both of you shut the fuck up and just get on with it?” the voice sounded eerily familiar, but he couldn’t concentrate on it now.

The three men kept bickering, and the barista nodded to eddie, pointing to the other side of the ditch, mouthing the word “run”

He shook his head wildly, mouthing the word “no” over and over, if she did this, she would be dead.

Either she thought it would work, or she didn’t care if she died, but she ran up the side of the ditch, then began dashing through the woods once again, ignoring Eddie's silent pleas not to.

Instantly two out of the three men yelled, and began running as well, though their footsteps began getting louder and louder, Eddie shrunk back, trying to hide as best as he could.

He watched in horror as one of the giants walked over the ditch, which took them only one step, right above him, then another, then another, it was too dark to get a good look at any of them from his disadvantaged point.

But luckily, with all the noise they were making, he was able to run to the other side of the ditch, running up and hiding behind a large tree, digging through his bag, the best luck he would’ve had with killing these things, was his machete, thanking god that he actually brought it.

Eddie held it tightly to his chest, slowly turning to see what was happening.

“Let me go!” the Barista screamed as she was picked up by the giant, flailing around in his grip.

“Oh I’ll let you go alright,”

She gave him a strange look, before returning to her screams as he lifted her up over his head, his mouth agape.

“I’ll let you go now”

Eddie turned back behind the tree, hearing her screams as she was dropped into the giant's mouth, he wasn’t looking, but his mind pictured it. He felt sick to his stomach, anger bubbling up inside of him

He heard the screams of the woman suddenly stop, and a silence filled the air. Eddie knew what this meant, he felt like he was ready to vomit, his stomach twisting in knots

“Y’know you don't have to drag it out.”

“What? You’re just mad because you got jack shit, maybe you shouldn’t be so picky”

Eddie listened to the three bickers, waiting for the right time to move from tree to tree, making sure they couldn’t see him as he got closer.

In his head he knew this was a bad idea, that he was going to get caught, but this was the first time he had ever actually met a victim, he talked with her, even if it was brief, it pushed him more than anything else did, this wasn’t about money, for the sake of the town, no…

It was for Her.

He took a deep breath as he prepared to move to another tree, planning to climb it and attack in a much better position.

“Ah! I thought I heard something!” Eddie froze, hearing a booming voice behind him.

He. was. Fucked.

He instantly spun around, waving the machete up, he heard the giant let out a yell as the blade bit into its hand, which was about to grab eddie.

shitshitshit

Eddie backed up a bit, before taking off in a run, but it didn’t help, another came barreling in.. barrelling in Eddie's eyes, it was pretty much just a few steps for the giant, the last one just hung out in the back, basically ignoring the interaction.

Eddie prepared to swing again, but the giant in front of him didn’t move, just smirked, catching Eddie off guard, allowing the one behind him to snatch him up.

“Shit!” Eddie yelled as the sneak attack made him drop the machete on the ground.

“You little fucker…” the giant lifted him off the ground at a speed that made Eddie sick, never in his life had he wanted to be on the ground more than he was now, the cold wind made him cringe as he was face to face with the Giant.

Surprisingly, the man looked fairly normal, he wore a plain blue shirt with some black jeans, nothing like any fairy tale would describe it.

His eyes were damn near murderous, he held up his other hand ‘look what you fucking did.” Eddie struggled in the giant's grip, which only made the man laugh, “what? Little hunter doesn’t know what to say?”

Eddie sputtered a bit, how did they know he was a hunter?

“Looks like you got dinner after all, huh Rich?”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

Rich...Rich...that voice...is that...NO….NONONO

Eddie's head whipped around as the third giant came closer to the other two...those glasses, those clothes...those eyes.

When those eyes met him, they shared the same look, the exact same look that they shared at the coffee shop. Eddie wanted to yell, but it seemed all the sound had left his body.

That's why Richie was in Derry...

“What's the matter?” the giant holding him pulled him closer, “don’t like knowing that you’re dinner?” he chuckled devilishly, Eddie didn’t respond, too horrified at richie to even register what the giant was saying “hey fucko! You listening?”

The giant shook Eddie a bit, still nothing, he gave a look to the other stranger, who just nodded, the same devilish smile pasted onto his face.

Without another word, he let Eddie go, plummeting towards the earth.

Eddie let out a loud yelp, it was almost in slow motion for him, falling through the air, hitting the cold, hard ground, he was sure a rib or two were fractured just by the pain he felt in his chest, but the pounding in his head was much...much worse. He couldn’t move, he could only listen to what they had to say.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” Richie pushed the giant who was holding Eddie, not even caring to remember his name “you could’ve just given him to me.”

Richie's heart sank as he saw the hunter in the giant hand, Eddie, he knew Eddie was lying about why he was in Derry, Eddie was just simply, a bad liar. But he had never expected something like this, he never wanted any of the losers to find out about this. It was bad enough he was hunting in Derry, only a mere half hour from Mike.

“Why not? The little fucker wouldn’t listen, so I gave it what it deserved.”

He felt anger overflow him as the giant talked about Eddie in this way, but he stayed silent, bending down, and picking up Eddie by the collar of his jacket, his body dangling at it rose up.

Eddie could barely move, everything hurt, he knew he was being lifted up once again, but he couldn’t do anything about it, what was he to do, his ribs were broken, he was winded and he was basically a doll to these guys.

He could hear Richie talking to the two, but he couldn’t really understand it, until one sentence was asked.

“So, You gonna chew ‘im?”

This sent Eddie back into his fit of panic, adrenaline coursing through his veins, he began cursing, kicking, wildly flailing. The two giants just laughed.

“Come on richie, you can chew this once, trust me, so much better experience.” Eddie couldn’t tell which of the two giants spoke, but he begged to whatever was out there, that Richie wouldn’t go through with it.

“I’m not a fan of blood, you should know that by now.” Richie rolled his eyes, his gaze back to Eddie, his heart breaking as he watched the man flail around, knowing he was in pain by the look on his face.

“The bitch thought he was going to kill us, he cut my fucking finger! Let him have it!” the giant pushed richie slightly, Richie giving him a glare.

“He's going to die anyways, why can’t I let myself enjoy him squirm?” Richie spoke, monotone. “I like how it feels when they go down.”

It was enough to make Eddie sick.

“It's your last hunt with us, go out with a bang! You got a fucking hunter after all…treat it like it treats our kind!”

“Fuck off, let me do it.'' His tone seemed almost protective, but with Eddie hearing a low gurgle of the man's stomach, Eddie knew it was like an animal protective of its prey.

The two just sighed, watching Richie...just...waiting.

Eddie paused as the giants fell into silence, staring up at Richie with tears in his eyes, his vision was blurry, and his head kept feeling worse and worse. “Please...don’t do this…” he found his voice, only to say that.

What else was he supposed to say? It was rich! The man he grew up with, the man he fought a killer clown demon with….the man...who was about to eat him.

Richie just sighed, lifting Eddie up carefully, much more carefully than the others would even dare, tilting his head up and placing Eddie right on his tongue. Letting go of the man and shutting his mouth.

Eddie's heart dropped at the quick action, Richie not even hesitating before putting Eddie into his mouth.

The heat inside richies mouth was enough to make Eddie let out a yell, going from chilly weather and a biting wind to a human sauna was not the best transition. The sensation of the wet, squishy muscle underneath him giving him a dose of reality-- He pushed against the roof of the mouth, hoping to re-open the mouth, but from the angle he was at, the throat was just becoming him.

He attempted to climb up the tongue, but no matter how close he would get to almost getting out, the saliva around him beckoned him down the tight, hot throat.

“Let me out!” Eddie yelled, but he knew it was no use, that Richie wouldn’t let him go, not after this. “Let me out you...fucking bastard!”

This was it? This is how he would go, he fought almost every dangerous creature in the book and won but he HAD to be eaten by someone he called a friend?

He felt himself getting weaker and weaker, his breath becoming more and more shortened with each breath. He found himself almost allowing his body to be pulled and squished around by the tongue, which happily licked at him.

He yelled as richie rolled him around, coating him in thick saliva in the process, but he really couldn’t do anything about it, the fear and fatigue getting to his head.

As the throat beckoned him down, he clawed at the tongue to keep himself out of the hot, wet esophagus “don’t do this!”

His words were met with no answer, but with a swallow.

Eddie yelled as his lower half was pulled into richies throat, he couldn’t move, which made him flail around even more, this was met with another swallow, thick muscles pulling the rest of him into the hungry throat and down the man's gullet, it was almost second nature to the man.

It must’ve been only a few seconds, but it felt like hours as he slid down the esophagus, unable to move and his Eddies head spinning with anxiety.

The one word spilling into Eddie's mind was only ....”Why?”

He pushed against the esophagus in an attempt to stop himself from sliding down any further, but all the saliva clinging to him and his clothes wouldn’t let him.

Suddenly, Eddie felt his legs slip into the stomach below him, gurgles and growls heard below him. As the rest of him slipped inside the belly, the whole experience became very...very real.

His head was dizzy from the lack of oxygen in the throat, and he couldn’t stop shaking at the thought of this being the final place he would be alive, nobody would know Richie had done it.

And that's the last thing Eddie Kaspbrack remembered, before passing out completely.

----------------------

Richie paused as he felt eddie go limp on his tongue for a few moments, he was scared this was too much for the little guy and his heart gave out, but the small man began to thrash around once more, which in a dark way, got him relieved, so he could continue.

This was a disaster, he hated how he had to eat people already, but the fact that it was Eddie made everything so much worse.

Richie should’ve known something was up when he saw Eddie in that cafe, he just couldn’t focus with the hunger eating him up inside.

Now it wasn’t only hunger eating him up...it was guilt.

He rolled Eddie around on his tongue a few more times, capturing the taste of the man.

he hated to admit it, but people tasted so good. It was almost like a drug for him, nothing really could sustain him for long, except for this. The longest he could go without eating a person was three weeks, he would move town to town with his tour, every few weeks swallowing a person to keep his energy up.

He carefully swallowed a few times, his Adam's apple bobbing as he brought his head back down, he could feel Eddie sliding slowly down his gullet, esophagus stretching as he did so it felt so...normal for him, like it was second nature.

One thing he was grateful for, was that he was the only guy that night who didn’t have a meal already lined up.

The past few weeks, meeting up with these guys got worse and worse, they were cruel, but for some reason they liked him, and would not leave him alone no matter how much he demanded them to, but tonight they agreed that tonight could be their last night

They always wanted it to be Derry, maybe because they lived there, maybe because the people tasted better. Richie didn't know, all he did was agree, since he didn't want one of their victims to become someone that he cared about. .

He felt guilty knowing the fates of the other two girls, but he knew he couldn’t stop it, they chose to kill those girls, they could’ve safely eaten them, but they chose to kill, which they thought he chose as well. He couldn’t change this, and it made him sick just to think about it.

As the two other giants shrank back down to their normal height, RIchie didn’t even bother to remember the jackasses names, they looked up at him.

“Sad to see ya go! Maybe we’ll meet up again!” one of them spoke, the other just nodded, before they both walked away.

sickos...

Richie stayed silent and still until they got out of sight, before letting out a deep breath, holding onto his stomach as he felt eddies body slip inside of it, it felt so...good to have someone in there again

But all according to plan, he felt Eddie pass out, feeling his shallow breaths as he lay unconscious in his belly.

He was going to be okay...

----

It's too hot, It feels like I’m melting...I can’t move...I have to get out of here...I have to…

Eddie's eyes snapped open at the sound of a car horn, and a familiar yell, his head throbbing and he almost jumped out of his seat, he would’ve if he didn’t have his seatbelt on…

Seatbelt?!

Eddie's head snapped in every direction as he looked around, he was in a car, a blanket covering him...not where he thought he was...did...did he actually...no...he wasn’t...he couldn’t be… he wasn’t inside of a...

Richie let out a yell as Eddie popped up, making him swerve the car violently into the left lane, then back into the right lane, causing a chorus of more car horns to indicate that what he just did was an asshole move.

“Jesus fucking christ Eddie!” Richie yelled, “you scared the shit out of me!” he kept his eyes on the road, but the shock poured off of him like sweat.

Eddie just stared at richie as he drove, he could feel his body shaking at the sight of the man… he stammered for a moment, but he was only able to get out one word.

“Y-you…” his voice cracked a bit.

He didn’t want to believe it was true, but his clothes and hair being damp pointed out that might be the case, he felt his eyes sting with the threat of tears, never before had he felt this much Terror.

“I what eddie? I saved your life, what the fuck were you doing there?! If I wasn’t there you’d be fucking dead!” Richie turned to Eddie, giving him an angry look.

Richie was angry… at him?!

As Eddie got a good glypse at Richie, he noticed the man's face was red, his eyes a bit puffy, and he was shaking profusely, not to mention the cracks in his voice and the tears rolling down his face.

Richie was crying...Richie never cries…

“You actually...you fucking ate me?!’” Eddie finally worked up the courage to yell “What the fuck man?! I thought we were friends?!” his hand fell to his side, instinctively grabbing his knife holster, though only grabbing nothing, his knife lost in the fight earlier.

Richie didn’t respond, he just kept staring at the road. This just made Eddie angrier.

“You fucking piece of shit!” Eddie pulled the blanket off of him, shivering as his damp clothes absorbed the cold air around him. “You didn’t even tell any of us, you are a fucking m-monster!”

Again, silence, but he could see richie white knuckling the steering wheel.

Eddie could feel hot tears coming down from his eyes, “what's your plan now?” he couldn’t see himself leaving this vehicle alive, unless he hopped out the car door right now, even then he had a higher chance of ending up dead. “you should’ve made it quick like those other two fuckers did” he mumbled quietly.

Suddenly, Richie swerved across a few lanes, making Eddie slam into the car door instantly, which caused another abundance of yelling and anger from the man.

Richie didn’t say a word as he moved off of the highway, onto a local road, close to the treeline of the woods, slamming on the breaks at the closest place he could pull over at.

Eddie couldn’t help but be afraid of Richies silence, his slight shakiness as he held the wheel and the fact that Richie refused to make eye contact as he cried.

“I could’ve killed you.” Richies voice cracked a slight bit.

Eddies heart sunk hearing those words, he could feel every bit of fear he had felt before hit him once again “R-Richie...I-I-”

“I could have done everything I said I would out there, and you could imagine what they would do if I wasn’t there…”

“Richie...p-please-”

“But I wouldn’t...I...I can’t Ed’s!” Richie lost all of his composure, and began yelling “I couldn’t let anything happen to you! What the hell were you thinking going after us? You could’ve died, Killing IT was one thing, but you’re alone!”

Eddie stared at him with a shocked expression, he felt his face flush, even if he was angry and scared, he was almost embarrassed, he felt like a child being berated by a parent, he frowned.

“You. ate. Me.” Eddie spoke, emphasizing each word. “You ate me and you’re giving me shit?”

“But you’re still alive, hm?” Richie gestured up and down to Eddie, “nothing Hurt huh? You’re welcome.”

Those words actually got through to Eddie, “how am I...not dead…”

Richie sighed, hearing Eddie's tone, not angry, just...scared. “I’m not like them, Eddie. It's safe, because I’m safe…” Richie pinched the bridge of his nose “fuck that didn’t make sense, I..Its just something I can do.”

Eddie got a good look at Richie at this point, the man was no longer disheveled, he looked like he was good as new, no bags under his eyes, he didn’t look like he was going to pass out anymore...he looked healthy.

Eddie, felt tired, nauseous, and felt like he was about to pass out, they practically switched places. t

“What did you do to me…?” Eddie asked, which richie let out a small chuckle.

“Unlike Them” he spoke of the two like it was bad luck to even think of them “I can’t digest living things, i uh… do have to eat living creatures though” he looked at Eddie, answering before the man could ask the question “I take energy, that's why you passed out, you came on the right day honestly, i usually wait a while before eating.”

“That's why there were survivors, that's how Mike knew--”

“Mike knows?” it sounded like a stupid question, but it had never crossed his mind. “How much does Mike know?” his voice was desperate, almost terrified.

“Not much… one girl that you...let go...talked to him about what she remembered…”

Richie shook his head “Fuck!” he yelled, slamming his hands on the wheels. “I left her on the pathway, watched her wake up, she shouldn’t have known about what happened.”

Eddie jumped at the slam “She didn’t remember anything, she thought escaped on her own, Mike has no idea what's going on, he...doesn’t even know he sent me here.”

“How the fuck doesnt he know?”

This is where Eddie began to feel nervous again-- what to say?

“A simple alias and a voice modifier did the trick.” Eddie rolled his eyes “and this isn’t my first time doing this.”

The shifter's heart sank.

Richie began piecing it all together, “You’re actually a hunter…?” he asked, “Tell me your joking Ed’s, you’re fucking with me…”

The thought of Eddie being an actual hunter was almost as absurd as knowing richie was a giant. Eddie was pretty fearless, but he didn’t act like the other hunters he’d met, if Eddie was actually a hunter, Richie was most likely a dead man.

“I uh… did tell you that I’m a Risk analyzer, I just didn’t tell you what kind of risks I worked with…” Eddie looked away, almost embarrassed. “I didn’t think I’d even run into you...or any of the losers on the job… Especially if the job is on one of you.”

Richie just stayed silent, Eddie. Eddie fucking Kaspbrack, kills monsters, just like him...all the time? He just silently turned on the car, driving back onto the main road. He felt this...intimidation now, and Richie did not like it at all.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, staring at the man, who just kept his eyes on the road. “Richie what's going on…?”

“I’m going to drop you off at your hotel, and guessing that there’s only one hotel that's not a total shithole, I’m guessing that's where you’re staying.” he spoke fast, like he didn’t want to talk to Eddie, which made the other man frown.

“You’re right...but...you seem...off.”

“Finding out my best friend is a killer isn’t something I really enjoy knowing.”

Holy shit…”Richie, are you...scared of me?” Eddie asked, utterly confused. He got no answer except for Richies face turning a slight red colour.

Eddie turned a bit red, but quickly changed the subject when Richie pulled into the driveway of the hotel, parking. “Are you going to answer me, dickwad” he only added the last part to get a reaction out of the man.

Richie snapped his head over to Eddie, “we’ll finish this talk in the hotel room, I’m not staying in this car the entire night.”

“In the hotel room? What makes you think I’m letting you up there?”

“Because you can’t fucking walk.” Richie snapped once more, pointing to Eddie's legs, “Just try.”

Eddie just nodded, giving Richie a snarky look, then getting out of the vehicle.

“See!” Eddie spoke as Richie started, just waiting. “What was that about---!”

Eddie couldn’t finish the sentence of glory as his legs wobbled. Making him fall to the concrete of the parking lot with a painful groan.

Richie got out of the car, a smug look on his face “what was what about?” He stood, hands in his hoodie pockets, holding back a bit of laughter.

Eddie just looked up, about to yell once more, but his own fear silenced him as he had to look up at Richie again, towering over him as he was on the pavement.

Richie frowned, seeing the fear in the hunters eyes, sighing

“Fuck--Here” Richie bent down, grabbing onto eddie, pulling the mans arm over his shoulder as to stablize him and help him move.

At first Eddie pushed back, not wanting Richie to even touch him at the moment, but something made him turn red as he got so close to him.

‘Do. not. Even. think. About. It.’

The walk up to the hotel room was silent, only minor grunts or breaths from either of the men.

Richie was practically going nuts with Eddie so close again--He would never admit it, but having eddie so close to his nose, he couldn’t help but smell him once again, and he smelled so...delicious, and the fact that he was able to taste him once meant that he knew that eddie was delicious.

‘Stop it….fucking stop.’

As they reached Eddie's door, the man tried to get the keys out of his pocket, only for Richie to just grab it out of his pocket himself, unlocking the door.

“T...thanks”

“Get in.”

Eddie sighed as they both walked in, the door shutting behind them. Eddie turned red as his luggage bag was sprawled on the bed, knives visible.

Richie groaned, seeing the blades, setting Eddie onto the bed, “Have enough fucking Knives man?”

“What? Scared?”

Richie said nothing, but looked away.

“The man who Eats people alive, is afraid of me?” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, dry and sarcastic, “and I’m not a killer…”

Richie gave him a disbelieving look, eddies laugh faded

“Well I am a killer, but it's not like that...I researched creatures like you for a while, I made like four journals just observing you guys…”

“Wow, a nerd in literally everything. Even murder” richie rolled his eyes, but it was very noticeable when his shoulders relaxed slightly, though still seemed on guard as Eddie spoke, his eyes narrow and hesitant.

“After IT,” Eddie turned away. “I realized that some of these creatures, they just want to Hurt people… and...I just can’t let that happen. So I became a hunter… it was tough at first, but i’ve gotten better.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck nervously “B-but I don’t kill people who are just trying to live their lives, only the ones who are killing people...which doesn’t make me that popular.”

Richie gave Eddie a look, not disproving, but just...intrigued, “Damn, a hunter with a moral backbone? Where have you been all my life”

Eddie paused, “I’ve been in your fucking life” He almost felt offended “suddenly I haven’t been with you because of my fucking career choice? Newsflash fuckface, I’m still fucking eddie kaspbrack”

Richie’s eyes widened “I didn't mean it--”

“You fucking EAT people. And I still see you as my...friend” Eddies voice lowered, looking away, “trust me, if I didn’t you’d be dead.”

Richie fell silent, somehow the word ‘friend’ still hurt him. Eddie could see the hurt on his face, looking away as well.

“All the other hunters i’ve known never gave me a chance to explain” Richie finally spoke after a few minutes, “They just see me as a monster.”

“i-I’m sorry.” Eddie responded “I didn’t mean--”

“Oh shut up.” Richie flashed a smile “You get a pass, I fucking ate you. I didn’t get a chance with any others.”

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the comment, something so absurd about the situation allowed him to. He was a hunter, who had been eaten, and is now talking to the person who had eaten him.

“So...the other losers?” Eddie fake coughed, trying to change the subject “Do any of them know”

“FUCK no.” Richie shook his head loudly, “If they knew that I’ve wanted--” Richie paused mid sentence, sputtering, clearly not wanting that to come out.

Eddie's eyes widened, “No no no, you don't get to say that shit and NOT finish the sentence, dickweed.”

“I-I..er--” Richie couldn’t form a coherent sentence, too busy turning redder than a tomato.

“Richie...Have you thought about...Eating us...like all of us? The losers?”

At first, Richie resisted, sputtering out a shaky ‘no!’, but Eddie just stared at the man, his expression not changing, it was a trick he would use when they were kids, Richie would always break.

“Fuck you Kaspbrak!” Richie finally broke, throwing his hands in the air “what do you want me to say? There's not one goddamn day that goes by since the reunion where i don’t think about it! There! Judge me all you fucking want! It's not gonna change the fact that I wanted to Eat you!”

Richie turned red again as eddie just stared “forget it”

“Did you ever try?”

It was richie's turn to look offended “you think im fucking stupid? If I tried anything on that trip, you’d think i was IT, I wasn’t about to be killed by my friends!”

Eddie put his hands up defensively “Okay okay! Don’t get your panties in a twist! It was a fucking question!”

Richie slumped back, defeated “I’ve thought about it sure---I never planned to though!” Richie almost sounded like he was trying to promise Eddie this, rather than convince him “I never planned on telling you guys, not that you’d believe me if I did.”

“Well you didn’t exactly tell me...so you kept your plan?”

Richie gave him a ‘are you kidding me’ expression

“I will eat you again”

“Don’t make me pull out the Knives, Tozier.”

Before Richie could even say another word, a loud ringing came from the luggage bag. It was his backup phone, Eddie reached for it, Richie first shook his head not to answer, but Eddie did anyway.

“Mr Marsh? Oh thank god you answered, it's been so long I thought the worst? What happened?” Richie tensed up, hearing Mike's voice on the other end of the phone, Eddie looked at the frightened predator and shook his head, mouthing the words ‘voice modifier’ which made Richie calm down slightly, still uncomfortable to hear Mike's voice.

Though on the other hand, Richie couldn’t help but laugh at the ‘Mr. Marsh’ mouthing to Eddie ‘are you fucking serious?’

Eddie shook his head, trying to wave the man off “Sorry Mr Hanlon, I understand your concern, everything is--”

“Ed’s?”

Eddie's sentence came to a full stop as Mike said his name, and so did his heart “w-what?”

“i-I” Mike stammered on the phone for a second “Eddie is that you?”

Richie, in an act of pure instinct, snatched the phone away from Eddie, who yelled out a quick “wait!” Before Richie hung up, turning the phone off.

There were a few moments of silence, you could practically hear the two’s hearts pumping loudly and full of anxiety.

“Shit.” they both said in unison.

---------

its good to be back...again!

#soft vore #safe vore #extreme cuddling #tw hard vore #tw fatal vore #non fatal vore #fearplay vore #quentin's writing

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fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

Note

Hello again It is me the worried anon about their fanfic. Actually, I am so grateful for your feedback, I thought about sharing more with you? If this annoys you, tell me in your next reply, I will stop immediately and I will fully understand it. I hope you are ok with my being my exclusive reader if that is not too weird? Here I go with another part: I don’t know exactly why I am writing what I have already experienced years ago; is it my habit to organize my thoughts whenever I feel lost? Is it the need to remind myself how I became who I am now? May be all of them together? Where should I start? I guess I will record the beginning of all this. At the age of 6, I started talking about people I never met, I said names I never heard and called people in my sleep while crying and screaming whom I never knew. My parents thought that I was another scared child of whatever scares children at this age and ignored my actions. I grew older and the dreams became more violent, the faces became more recognizable, the names started to ring bells that only I could hear and it became even harder to pretend that I don’t experience all that.

My parents decided to consult a psychologist who silently listened to my story of how I was seeing grown up people fighting scary huge creatures; they were eaten, tortured and killed brutally even when they fought back. I described this hellish world as well as I could only to be diagnosed with hallucinations and early signs of schizophrenia. That’s when I learned the first lesson but not the last lesson in my life. Never share what you saw with anyone but yourself.

Ever since I was young, despite all the nightmares, I have always found my peace wherever there were books, plants or both, and I was such a friendly dork who longed for friends but never had one. I met some children and made some fleeting memories but once I started getting used to them, they would never show interest in my friendship again, well, I can’t blame them now if all my drawings were huge ugly smiling creatures eating little screaming humans, can I? My parents had enough of my madness and I was sent to a mental institution where I was under observation for months without being given real medication due to how young I was. Luckily, the doctors noticed that I was younger than the usual age when schizophrenic patients show any reliable signs ; My parents never visited me though, they called once a week but never cared to show up even on my birthday in September I received a short call to remind me that I became 10 years old and that they love me and that’s it. I stayed there for six month which I spent reading, digging in the small garden of the institution, getting scolded by the nurses, reading and digging again and the life went on. The doctor who was responsible for my case was fascinated by my behavior, he made sure to test my mental state and abilities quite often and I remember his kind and impressed smile after every test, it filled me with joy and pride even if didn’t say it often and that’s when I started to understand that I was exceptionally smart. He kept testing me whenever he had a chance using games, questions, tests and after each session, I got a new book. He became my one and only friend in a place where I was the youngest resident they ever had. He kept trying to ask me about my dreams but I learned my lesson by then and so I denied everything I said earlier with the most innocent and clueless smile I could give. He could never succeed and always smiled accepted my lies with a kind yet disappointed smile.

I spent my days there doing the same things on daily bases or at least that’s how it looked like… Alone in my room, I learned even more from my nightmares. There was a beautiful blond girl called Nanaba, a very tall blond man called Mike, another tall blond man called Erwin and another man called moblit but the most interesting of all was a short, grumpy yet very strong man called Levi. My 10 years old self memorized the names and faces but didn’t have enough memories to know who they were back then until this fateful night when the fire broke out in the floor where I stayed. I still shudder whenever I remember this moment.

Fire scares every living being no matter how fearless they are, we all can agree on this fact but in my case, I was beyond terrified. I was literally burning…alive.

It was as if I was teleported to a different world. I was flying up in the air. The scary giant creatures were there but with a major difference. They were radiating heat and flames, it was impossible to avoid them if you were close enough and yet, I was so close to them that I felt the heat on my skin without touching them. I managed to kill one Then another Then another I was a lot older than myself then, I was stressed, worried and in pain. I kept on slicing the back of their nicks though. After the fourth one, the fire caught my clothes. The last one in the first row who was about to destroy a weird looking plane forced me to ignore the flames that started to burn the ends of strange clothes. I had to kill him or everything will be lost…. The fifth went down. He didn’t fall alone this time; I started to feel the burning sensation climbing my body, getting more and more painful with each passing moment, I screamed when I could not take the pain anymore, I didn’t know for how long I kept falling or screaming. Everything ended as it started, suddenly. I opened my eyes to find myself in another room. No burns, No fire, No scary huge creatures. Dr Ethan, the friendly doctor who kept my stay in the institution as enjoyable as possible was looking at me with an obvious relief on his face: Hana? How are you feeling now? Can you see me and hear me? I looked at my left hand that was wrapped carefully: I am fine Dr, my hand! The fire…What happened?

He kept the same kind smile: it is ok now Hana…You are safe now…your hand was burned when you tried to push the door to escape; only your palm but it wasn’t too serious. I tried to push the door? What door? When?

I asked: I don’t remember that? Where are my parents? Can I call them? My young self could not think of anyone but them at that moment even if they didn’t. I hoped that would be enough for them to take me home. Dr Ethan remained silent for a few seconds then said: Hana…you fainted because of the smoke you inhaled…you have been very brave trying to open the window and even push the door to save yourself…you are impressive as usual but you need to rest now. I remember how angry and scared I was: Dr Ethan I want mommy! I want to tell them that I was going to die! I remember that it was the first time in those six months to cry like the real child I was; I was terrified, confused, tired and scared.

He tried to maintain the same smile: Hana, it is too late at night now…you should sleep and we will call them the first thing in the morning, I promise.

I couldn’t say anything…I nodded quietly so that I can be alone, I didn’t want anyone around me, I only wanted my parents. After he left the room, I kept sobbing silently all night until I learned another harsh lesson in the morning. That's another part of it, I hope my asks don't annoy you, Remember you can always be as honest as you want, I really appreciate your feedback as much as I love your work.

omg don't feel sorry or worried that you annoy me! your work is really good and i'm so honored that you decided to share it with me🥺

and i've gotta say i'm so interested in what happens next! that doctor, he is up to something, right? oh, and that fire! i wonder what was the cause of it? will hange find the others? and what lesson she learned? i'm so, so hooked!

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tonksie-writes · 4 years ago

Text

A Mark and a Soul||Chapter 2

Summery: Din has always wanted to meet his soulmate. The moment that he met Cara he knew it was her. Now he’s all but alone in the universe he has to decide his next steps and she distracts him.

Rating: M (This chapter)

A/N: Ok! So I continue to have NO IDEA where this fic is going to take us so join me for this ride of unknown! I’m also shocked because I’ve actually been doing really well with keeping up on this! I’m not normally very good at that especially with no plan! If anyone has prompts or things they’d love to see I would love to hear them cause RN I’m flying blind! This chapter has smut! It’s very obvious when it’s about to start trust me you’ll know! And it goes to the end of the chapter so if you aren’t a fan of reading that you can easily skip you won’t miss anything I promise! Also it’s been a HOT minute since I wrote smut and while yes I have my history with it I’m looking at you 20 pages of one BDSM scene I haven’t written anything like this is a FEW years so please forgive me if I’m rusty. So please enjoy

Prologue, Ch 1 , AO3

Din has spent a lot of his life dreaming about his soulmate. He had always wondered what that person would look like, what they would be like. His parents had been soulmates and while mandalorians took an oath to give up their soulmates, just as they gave up their ability to show their face, Din had grown up on a planet where Soulmates were a constant. There were thousands of stories and fairy tales told to children of all ages. He had been told from the time of birth about all kinds of different soul matches. There were Prince's being saved by the daring princesses and knights in shining armor. There were even love stories of star-crossed lovers from different planets in different galaxies coming together to solve wars out of the bond. As a child Din had been enraptured by those stories and the thought of having a connection to someone that went beyond what he could see and hear.

The bond was supposed to be this magic that knit two people. The very energy of the universe that knit two souls and allowed them to pick up on things in each other more easily. It was that thing that let you know exactly when your lover walked into a room. It was the prickle on your neck and tingling in your gut when your lover was watching you when you weren’t looking. It was something that went down to the core of you knitting you together beyond anything else in the universe.

It had actually been the hardest thing for him to give up when the Mandalorian’s saved him. He didn’t think twice about giving up his face or anything else, even his name was easy to lose to the sands of time. He lost his family, his home planet, and everything he’d held dear and the mandalorians had saved him. They had given him a place to live and a reason to keep going. He was happy to give up anything to have a place to belong. But giving up the hope of finding a soulmate had been the hardest thing that he could imagine. It was the one thing he had wanted to keep even as he promised himself to the Mandalorians. Eventually though, he let that go just like he had everything else. It was the way.

Din had second-guessed his choice many times. Every so often he would wonder what he would do if he ever came across his soulmate. He figured it was probably some lovely woman on a Backwater planet who had a beautiful smile. Perhaps it would be a dashing gentleman with his own farm who would take him by the hand and make him want to settle down. Din had always imagined that his soulmate would lead him to another life, make him want something else, something different. That's why it was so surprising when the Rebel Shock Trooper that he ran into a rundown bar had the exact image on her jaw that he had on his.

While on Sargon, Din had just ignored it. He assumed that it probably just was a trick of the eyes and he hadn't actually seen it. It wasn’t possible and even if it was he wasn’t supposed to let it happen. He was on the run, he had a foundling to care for. He had duties to fulfill and he was a Mandalorian. It wasn't just a trick of the light though. After he had taken off, saying goodbye to Cara, he had finally found a place where he was alone. He had taken off his helmet and looked into a reflective surface seeing rthe mark that was burned into his mind staring back at him. It was the one he had seen flashes of over and over as he fought with and beside Cara Dune.

Perhaps that was why he had instantly thought of her the minute he needed help. Of course she was a fearless fighter and unerringly loyal but she wasn’t the only one he knew like that, at least he didn’t think she was. He couldn’t think of a name or face for it though. He tried not to think it was that connection, that hope of the young boy on a planet far away and so long ago, that had pushed him to find her when he needed her. Over and over there have been times where he looked into her eyes and just wanted to tell her everything but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then he watched his child leave after just getting him back.

Watching Grogu walk away with the Jedi had been one of the hardest things he could ever imagine. He had grown so fond of his small traveling companion and now he could hardly imagine life without him. Din knew the kid had to go, that has always been the plan. Din would find Grogu’s people and then he would let him go, that had always been the plan. It didn't make it any easier though.

Then Cara came into his room of isolated sulking holding a bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage. She was like some Goddess from his deepest imaginations. A few words from her and suddenly the world felt a little more stable. It was a talent she’d had and he wasn't entirely sure when it had started. Somehow between fighting and nearly dying and coming back just fine he had fallen deeply in love with his soulmate and nothing was going to stop that. He was so close to telling her right then and there. Instead he said he was going to go off and look for her; try to find her the woman sitting right next to him. He had hoped that with his helmet off she would come clean she would see what he knew. She had to have noticed. But she didn't say anything.

For a moment he started to wonder if he hadn't been mistaken somehow. Maybe she just forgot what her own soul mark looked like. He wasn't entirely sure how that could happen but he supposed with all he knew about her background it wouldn't be a surprise. Maybe she was just so wrapped up in everything, maybe she just didn't realize it was him. Maybe he needed to show her again. Or maybe she just didn’t want him like that. Just as he was about to think about that too much, noises of a fight sounded up the stairs of the small ship and they were off.

Din wasn't entirely sure if he was relieved or frustrated that the shouting wasn't actually a firefight with another ship or the Empire coming after them to hunt them down again. Instead was Boba Fett fighting once again with Bo Katan and Koska Reeves. By the time he and Cara made it up to the top of the ladder Bo had Boba by the neck and Koska and Fennec were locked in a stalemate.

“What the pfaask is going on up here?” Cara hissed as the two made their way into the room.

“Just a little disagreement. Nothing to worry about Mando.” Boba said with his charming and congenial tone that let both Cara and Din know that he was lying.

“This waste of genetic material is flying us into a trap.” Bo informed them.

Din looked between the four of them and his eyes narrowed at Boba. He didn’t have the capacity for this right now. He wanted to take Cara back down stairs or just drink away his soulmate and his son’s memories. Neither was an option in this ruckus.

“Show a little respect. We helped you on your mission.” Fennec grit out between clenched teeth.

“Enough!” Din said, finally getting everyone’s attention. “I’m grateful for everyone’s help. The child is safe because of all of you. I pulled you all from your lives and I understand you need to return to those. I am the one in your debt.” He said to everyone before turning to Boba Fett and Fennec specifically. “If you are willing we will drop Bo Katan and Koska off on Trask and Marshall Dune on Nevarro and then I will help you with whatever you need.”

“Not a chance.” Cara said, drawing the eyes of everyone in the group. “I’m staying with you.” She said with finality speaking only to Din. She had worked well with the girls as they took the ship, it was actually rather impressive and beautiful to watch as the four of them took out everything like machines.

Bo hesitated and stepped forward “You have the dark saber. Like it or not you are the Mand’alor now. If we are to retake our planet you have to be at the head.” She pushed and he could nearly feel Cara’s glare at the redhead over his shoulder.

“To even look for more Mandalorians we need a ship that can’t be tracked, that needs credits unless you want to be in even deeper debt to Boba Fett the mission to reclaim Mandalore and find more Mandalorians will have to wait.”

“And what do you plan to do to get that ship?” Bo Asked forcefully. “Run around playing bounty hunter for Boba Fett?”

“Marshall Dune has offered me work on Novarro. After I repay my debt I’ll work with her and come to Trask when I have what we need.” He said firmly his mind flicking back to the Ugnaught Kuiil he lost in the battle with Gideon I have spoken. “Or you could take the saber and do it yourself.”

Din watched the emotions flying across Bo Katan’s face and he had to wonder why the hell she didn’t just take it when he offered it. It seemed he still had a lot to learn about other Mandalorians. He had been raised by the Children of the Watch, apparently a cult, but still so much culture seemed lost on him. For a moment he thought Bo would strike out to fight him and he felt more than heard Cara shift behind him and all but growl out “Try it.” over his shoulder.

Koska seemed to tense ready to defend Bo in an instant but Bo stepped back with a smirk and nodded. “Fine. We will return to Trask and gather what we can. The Saber is in the hands of a Mandalorian and that is what matters.” She said with finality. “If you would be so kind as to return us to Trask…” He could hear the insult on the tip of Bo Katan’s tongue but she finished with “We would be grateful, Fett.” and he felt his body relax some as he finished.

Bo and Koska walked toward the storage compartment that they had claimed as their room and the other four stood looking at each other. “I appreciate the offer Mando but you do not need to stay. Fennec and I can take care of a small slaving operation like Fortuna. We’re even now. Our debt to you is paid.” He said offering a hand.

“Bib Fortuna?” Cara asked this time with interest in her voice. Din looked to her and as if she could see the expression of confusion she continued. “The head of the Hutt crime syndicate and known slaver?”

Fennec nodded “That’s the one.”

“He’s a high level target for the Republic. Dead or alive coming in with a Moff and Fortuna... “ Cara didn’t have to finish for Din to know the end of the sentence. It’d be enough credits to buy a ship and the repairs and then some. Besides that she’d be a hero enough to have as much leeway as she wanted.

“Are you saying you want to help them?” Din asked her.

“I’m saying I wouldn’t mind playing a part in the downfall of one of the universe’s most infamous crime bosses. I owe him for a princess of mine.” She said and Din wanted the explanation of that later.

“Then you’re coming with us?” Fennec ask.

Din simply nodded his head and Boba clapped and rubbed his hands. “Excellent. I won’t turn down the help! Especially when it comes in such a lovely package as Marshall Dune.” Boba flirted. Din tried to ignore the spike of annoyance that drilled into him, it wasn’t as though Fett meant anything by it. Cara was beautiful, it was just an observation. It still drove Din to want to growl posessively.

“Charming but I’m just here for him and to get paid.” Cara responded easily. The air of her words was almost playful. There was no bite or insult and Fett seemed to take it well.

“Understood. Well, looks like I have coordinates to put in. You two should rest we’ll plan in the morning.” He offered.

“No more fighting?” Din asked. The question and tone once again made him feel like a father and he got another shooting pang of missing the kid. As if she could feel his sadness Cara was there, stepping up to his side a strong and silent comfort.

“I assure you as long as the princess stays in her quarters, I will remain at peace.” Boba charmed. It was enough for now and Din and Cara returned to the area below deck.

“You’re sure you want to come?” Din asked once they were carefully locked in the guest bunk the ship had for reasons Din was not about to think over.

“You can’t have all the fun.” She joked but he could see something else there. There was something she wasn’t saying, something tugging at her mind and heart. “Besides with the kid-- with everything someone’s gotta look after you.” He wasn’t sure whether he was grateful she cut herself off or if it hurt more. The pain of losing the child was overwhelming but it wasn’t a loss. Grogu was going to be learning, growing. He was where he needed to be. Now it was Din’s turn to look for his own place.

He sat just looking at her for a moment. The silence was heavy and it almost felt like she could see him under the helmet. As if to break some sort of trance she reached over to the bottle they’d been drinking before the tussle up stairs and took a big swig. “Look, I don’t do well with feelings but even I know this has been a long day so I’m going to give you an offer and you’re not going to overthink it or freak out about it you’re just going to nod yes or no.” she instructed “Understand?” She asked.

He felt like he had just been asked to calculate advanced hyperdrive mechanics without a datapad. He had no idea where this was going or what she was thinking but he also couldn’t fight her when she was standing there in front of him resolute and in control when he felt so out of control. So he nodded his head.

“Good.” she said walking over to the door and locking it before pulling off the armored shirt she wore leaving a dangerously tight tank top as her only covering.

“What are you--” He started but she held up a finger.

“No talking. You take that bottle over to the corner. Have one cup, just one, and then I take you over to this rack and distract you. One night, no strings just you getting out what you need. You can even keep the helmet on.” She offered. “Or you say no and we never talk about this again.” She added.

Din didn’t know what to choose in this. How could he? Part of him wanted to ask her about the bond. What she was planning to do when it was solidified by skin to skin contact. They’d never touched skin before but he knew from the stories what happened when they did. Did she know? How could she not? When two soulmates touched they grew a bond that couldn’t be severed except by death. Even without the bond Cara could see more of him than anyone he’d ever met. She always seemed to know what he was thinking or when he needed her to duck left as he went right. It seemed like they’d been able to read each other from the moment they met. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if it got even stronger. He wasn’t even sure how it could.

He was silent too long, he could feel the time stretch and for a moment his confident Shock Trooper looked like her resolve was about to buckle. The momentary flash in her eyes was enough for him to make his choice. Bond or not he was going to spend tonight with his soulmate. The universe owed him that much. He stood up with the bottle and moved over to the corner. “I’d rather just turn the lights off.” He said as he walked over to a screen taking off his helmet.

“That’s so much less fun.” She joked but he could hear the rustling of her taking off her clothing and he took off his own after downing the shot. Suddenly the room was completely dark.

“Cara?” He asked into the darkness. He didn’t need to, he could feel her in the dark by the light controls. He could feel her blind eyes searching the shadows of the sealed room magnetically summoning him to her.

“I’m here.” She said taking a step then another. He walked from behind the screen towards her easily feeling where she was even without eyes. He could blame it on the soldier’s senses and all his training. He could blame it on years of being on the lookout for threats. He could lie to himself. Here in the dark with nothing between them but air as they took step by step he couldn’t bring himself to. He knew this was different. He knew he could find her in any situation without needing to look. Whether he could say it out loud or not there was no question to him that this woman was his soulmate and somehow that made this so much more important.

His hand reached out on its own and hesitated just over her jaw before it lowered right onto the mark they shared. In a flash the coil snapped and they sprank at each other lips crashing tongues tangling and hands roaming.

In the dark with nothing but the sensation of her calloused fingertips he wondered just how many hands she had. One was in his hair the other on his neck then down his chest and on his biceps feeling every inch of him. He was sure he was no better as his own hand slipped from her jaw to her shoulder, his other smoothing up and down her side avoiding anywhere too forward.

Her hands suddenly grabbed his and for a second he thought she was changing her mind. “It works a lot better if you do this.” She said, pulling his hands to her breasts and encouraging them to squeeze. She let out a lewd moan and that broke the dam.

He pushed her back against the wall seeking leverage to pull her closer. His hand went to her hip squeezing her ass and trying to pull up her leg over his hip but was surprised when she took that opportunity to leverage their weight and flip them so she was pressing into him. He shouldn’t be surprised this would be a fight. Everything else with them was. He could feel her smile and glee as they warred for dominance, her hands raking over his chest and nails lightly scratching making him hiss in pleasure.

She pulled back from the kiss biting his lower lip and just when he was about to move his mouth to her neck her lips met his jaw just over their mark and a rush pulsed through his body. He was sure she felt it too from the way her hips ground to his and he pulled her closer, his grip on her hips bruising. “Kriffing pfaask.” He hissed trying to flip them again but she had his shoulders pinned to the wall as she kissed down his jaw with little nips.

“That’s quite the mouth you have there.” She teased playfully against his skin and an idea hit him. His hand snuck up to pinch her nipple playfully rolling it between his fingers and her head fell back as he kissed her neck and used the hand still on her hip to pull her forward and force their weights to shift so he had her pinned against the wall. “That’s playing dirty.” She hissed to him.

“Keep up.” He growled playfully and her mouth was on his again pulling him in by the hips her hand going back to his hair and he was starting to wonder if she just liked the feel of his curls between her fingers as much as he was enjoying feeling it. Suddenly one of her hands reached up and she found a pipe above them that he’d noticed earlier hung lower than the others. She pulled down slightly to ensure it was strong enough to hold her weight and suddenly her legs were pulled up and wrapped around her waist. As he felt the soaking folds of her vuelva come into contact with his own hard cock and that was nearly the end of him.

His forehead fell forward finding purchase between her breasts and his hot mouth bit and sucked the skin on her sternum. “Please Cara.” he breathed into the dark.

“Now.” she breathed back a demand. It spoke to her strength that she was holding herself up on the tiny pipe as he shoved himself inside of her bucking in with a surprising ease. “Fark.” She hissed rocking her hips against him.

“Let go.” He breathed to her as he set a slow gentle pace. He could feel her surprise tickle his mind and it warmed him through to feel the connection that had slid into place as they touched. “I’ve got you, let go.” He assured and she did. She dropped her hands as he took her full weight and easily navigated them to the bunk. As soon as her back hit the mattress she rolled on top of him and this time he didn’t fight her, he was certain this wouldn’t be their last time. It probably wouldn't even be their last time tonight so he’d have plenty of opportunities to take his turn.

He lost himself in the feel of her hips and her depths. His hand went to her center and gently pressed to her clit rubbing as she angled her hips to a position that made her moan with every thrust. He could feel her hands on his thighs and his mind flashed images of what she looked like over him: Back arched and breasts bouncing as her muscles clenched and unclenched through her stomach and up her shoulders and arms. He cursed himself for asking for the lights off because he was certain it would be his favorite image in history.

With particularly deep thrust and a skillful press of her clit he felt her come around him and if that wasn’t enough to throw him into his own orgasm he heard her whisper his name “Din.” To the room and the squeeze of his heart threw him into the abyss as quickly as his body did. Rasping her name back to her like a prayer.

If the world shifted and their lives changed, if they felt the tug of the bond they had both refused to acknowledge solidify, they both ignored it for now. Tonight was theirs to ignore the rest of the world. Tonight was about them. No strings.

#Caradin #Cara Dune #Din Djarin #The Mandalorian #minor ships if you squint

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heresince93 · 5 years ago

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Gillian Anderson Sunday Times Interview Transcript

There is a moment in the second series of Netflix’s Sex Education when Gillian Anderson’s character, Jean, sighs a deep resigned sigh as she is lying in bed one morning and spots the messy pile of small change her latest lover, Jakob, has left on her bedside table.

It’s my favourite moment of this uplifting show about the tangled love lives of British secondary school teens that manages to appeal to both parents and adolescents alike. Anderson plays the outrageously inappropriate sex therapist Jean Milburn, a stylish, confident single mother.

The sight of those coins will resonate with any woman of Anderson’s age and stage of life (she is 51), whatever kind of relationship they are in.These pennies, a symbol of how untidy life gets and the constant imposing presence of someone else even when they aren’t in the room, represent for Jean the gradual realisation that the excitement of a new love soon becomes tempered by the boring bits.

For those of us who have been married a while, the coins are perhaps the equivalent of the dull domesticity of picking up the shirt always dropped on the floor or the wet towels you always end up refolding after your teens have left them near but not on the bathroom radiator. Anderson and I chat about this a lot when we meet to talk about the second series of Sex Education, given that we are both working mothers in our early fifties.

The actress, who is most recognised for her role as Scully in The X-Files, is twice divorced and has three children, Piper, 25, Oscar, 13, Felix, 11, all of whom live with her in London. Her partner of three years is the playwright, screenwriter and creator of The Crown, Peter Morgan, himself a father of five.

In person Anderson is chatty and witty, aloof and friendly at the same time, a peculiarly feline trait that I often encounter in driven, confident women who have reached midlife. Tell me about Jakob and the coins, I say, what is it like starting a new relationship in your forties, compared with your twenties?

“It’s very different,” she says. “I think you are more fully formed, especially if you have taken time out of previous relationships to find yourself.

“Early on after the break-up of my last relationship and before my current one, somebody encouraged me to write a list of needs and wants in a future partner. Needs are non-negotiable. If you go on a date with someone and realise they won’t meet, say, three of those needs, then they are not the person for you. It may last as a relationship, but it won’t make you happy. Wants are easier, not more frivolous per se, but easier to deliver. Doing this made it clear to me going forward who would be good for me in a relationship.

“And there is a new creativity nowadays to what a relationship should look like, too. For instance, my partner and I don’t live together. If we did, that would be the end of us. It works so well as it is, it feels so special when we do come together. And when I am with my kids, I can be completely there for them. It’s exciting. We choose when to be together. There is nothing locking us in, nothing that brings up that fear of ‘Oh gosh, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how will we separate?’. I start to miss the person I want to be with, which is a lovely feeling. And it is so huge for me to be able to see a pair of trousers left lying on the floor at my partner’s house and to step over them and not feel it is my job to do something about it!”

I’ve never interviewed a celebrity who, even though she is wearing heels (little pointy white boots) is still shorter than me (I’m barely 5ft 2in), but Anderson is tiny. This is only important to note, I think, because her roles since Dana Scully have been so big and so powerful: Blanche in A Street Car Named Desire and Margo Channing in All About Eve on stage; Lady Mountbatten in the film Viceroy’s House; Stella Gibson in The Fall; and now Jean Milburn.

I wonder if she is perhaps filed under “tricky, unpredictable, charismatic, spiky, intelligent and fearless woman” in the casting director’s directory of suitable roles. After all, her next part is going to be Margaret Thatcher (in The Crown). And when she arrives for our chat in the closed Chinese restaurant of a central London hotel, she apologises for the sticky mess in her hair caused by wearing the Iron Lady’s wig the previous day. Her nails are manicured pale pink like Thatcher’s too.

“She had a condition that meant two fingers of each hand would curl around — Reagan had it too — so it affected her gestures and she would wear lots of rings and bracelets to distract. But she kept her nails long, which is how I have to keep them now,” Anderson says. She is fascinated by Thatcher, concluding, after studying her childhood, that “nobody ever existed like her. She was unique.”

Anderson might be unique herself, and despite giving many interviews (three last year), I see that she has been smart and managed to remain a bit of an enigma. When I listen back to the tape, she is very good at general talk, but not so hot on specifics.

She spent her early years in north London with her American parents before going back to Michigan for high school. She was a teenage punk plagued by panic attacks that have continued to trouble her over the years, particularly during her intense work schedule on The X-Files. She went into therapy at 14, then became world famous at 25, and had her first child at 26 (the same age her parents had her, before going on to have her two siblings 12 years later). She split up with her first husband three years after that.

In 2011 she endured the death of her brother, Aaron, aged 30, from a brain tumour, which she rarely discusses. She is an impressive activist, campaigning for a variety of issues including women’s rights in Afghanistan, Burma, South Africa, Uganda and South America. There are 10 charities she has worked with listed on her website, and in 2017 she co-wrote We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere, a well-received book of advice for women. She has also designed two small fashion collections for Winser London, which include some gorgeous silky blouses. I found I had three in my wardrobe without knowing they were hers.

She is a Bafta nominee and Golden Globe winner, and Neil Gaiman, who cast her in the TV series of his book American Gods, said: “She is in this strange place where everything exists in the shadow of Scully, yet she is bigger and better than that.”

When I listen to her 2003 Desert Island Discs, though, she tells a darker story. In between Radiohead and Jeff Buckley, she talks of troubled mental health that she has worked ferociously hard to improve. She has been in therapy for more than 30 years.

Anderson tells me she has been teetotal since her early twenties and despite some mild probing on my part is reluctant to elaborate on exactly why. I understand. She has soon-to-be teenage children who don’t need to know about any of the “dangerous things” she has done, as she described them to Sue Lawley.

I’m fascinated by Anderson and can see why she was the perfect person to cast as the quirky, funny therapist Jean in Sex Education, which really hits its stride in the second series. While still a comedy at heart, the subject matter tackled by its fantastic young cast is revelatory. Sex Education is one of the first productions to hire an intimacy director to make the young actors feel comfortable and process what they were doing, often naked in front of multiple cameras, to be happy and authentic about what they did and feel they had input.

Anal sex, drugs, masturbation, STDs and nudity feature graphically in this show, which I would advise all parents and teens to watch, though not at the same time — only Jean would do that. When I interview Anderson I have yet to see the finale, but Jean’s journey is that of many women in the middle of their lives after divorce with teenage children.

“There’s a grief, isn’t there?” Anderson says as we discuss the menopause. “I haven’t quite got to the place where I don’t have my eggs, but your body is going to mourn that, isn’t it? I remember the very last time I breastfed and it was heartbreaking. I wept and wept through it.

“And I know people who describe particularly difficult periods at home without realising they are describing their mothers going through the menopause.

“We’re all at the point where we’re kicking off just as our teenage children are kicking off. I was looking at some home videos of Piper when she was three and wondering where all my patience came from in my twenties. I have forgotten that version of me.”

She says she doesn’t feel quite ready for her two boys to become teenagers, but sometimes Jean slips into their conversations at home.

“I find myself saying something embarrassing at the dinner table and I don’t know if it is me or if Jean has given me the licence to say that. Maybe I have always been that way, though. Some of what she shares is too much information. I wouldn’t share it, even with my eldest in her twenties. But my son came home after having a sex education class and I completely clammed up. I couldn’t bring myself to continue the conversation. I just let it die. I really don’t know why.”

Over the years Anderson has tried to schedule her roles to fit in with her children, but like many of us who have devoted much of our time to careers, she still lives with nagging doubts about doing the right thing.

How did you deal with a small child while filming back-to-back episodes of The X-Files for 16 hours a day, I ask, especially when you decided to go it alone as a mum. “I missed her, really so much. Those moments when you see a small child in the street when you are apart from yours and the conversation just drops, it’s hard. She was on a plane a lot when she was six and we moved production to the West Coast. I justified that, I mean it was selfish on my part. I just could not imagine being away from her for long periods of time.

“I became obsessed with schedules, and I still am because of that time. I would plan and colour-code everything, make a series of propositions about schedules so I could see her, and the show would either reject or accept them.

“With the boys the longest I have been away from them was during the two X-Files movies, but again I would be travelling constantly to see them.”

I ask her if she regrets working so hard. “Not yet,” she says. “I have a feeling that will come. I definitely feel like on a level I do regret Piper flying back [to her dad, when she was six] as an unaccompanied minor.” We sit in silence for a bit, mulling over the thought.

“But there’s another version of my life where I could have worked less, had a smaller life and been more present as a parent. I could have chosen that, that could happen. But sometimes it feels like why would you, if you keep getting work as an actor, doing things you dreamt of doing and being offered incredible roles at this age, while paying the bills, and you still get to see them a huge percentage of the time and they witness a mother enjoying her work?”

She has talked to her daughter about it, but says Piper is not yet at the place where the lightbulb goes on and she realises Mum was still up at 6am the days she faced 16 hours of work to be with her, or those days we all have when we are still on the edge of the sports pitch, despite the demands of a job.

But Anderson is an all-or-nothing personality. She tells me she is either on a healthy eating plan, meditating and working out or hiding like a hermit at home eating chocolate. She has been plagued by frozen shoulders all her life, leading to months of pain-filled insomnia and cortisone injections.

“My default position is sedentary,” she tells me when I ask about her meditating and yoga right now. “I like being in bed in my PJs. When I’m working, like right now, I seem to exist mostly on chocolate. Then I go through a stage when I feel dreadful and I review it all and start a food plan, torture myself counting shots of milk and all that.

“In the cycle of all or nothing, I am in the nothing phase right now. It has gone on for quite some time, but I think I am better to be around. I was having lunch with my daughter and we were just, you know, eating, not asking for stuff without oils or sugar, and she said, ‘It’s so much better when you are not in that place.’ ”

I’ve enjoyed my hour with Anderson; she is likeable and thoughtful. I sort of hope we’ll meet again one day. It’s unlikely she’ll read the interview; she has said before that she rarely does. So what do I think as I walk away from her? I’m impressed by her curious nature and, obviously, her sense of style, a blueprint for us all at this stage of life, but mostly I’m inspired by her strong sense of self. It has obviously taken quite a bit of work for her to get there, but from what I can see, it has been worth it.

@GillianA

Sex Education series 2 is available on Netflix from Friday

Hair: James Rowe at Bryant Artists. Make-up: Mary Greenwell at Premier Hair and Make-up. Nails: Saffron Goddard at Saint Luke using Sisley Hand Care

#gillian anderson #sunday times #interview

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dailyexo · 6 years ago

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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun, Kai - 191217 Vice: “SuperM are the Avengers of K-pop”

"It’s a November evening at New York’s Madison Square Garden. Even though the house lights are still on, the excitement is palpable in the voices of twenty thousand fans singing along to every background track as though it were the main attraction. The reason for that enthusiasm is currently underneath the stage: in a few moments, K-pop supergroup SuperM will rise, veiled in smoke and clad in black and silver, to finish the first leg of their sold out We Are The Future Live tour.

Formed by SM Entertainment (one of the ‘Big 3’ record labels in K-pop) in partnership with Capitol Records, the group -- quickly dubbed ‘the Avengers of K-pop’ -- is made up of seven members from four other already wildly successful groups SHINee, EXO, NCT 127 and WayV. SuperM’s eponymous debut EP, with its lead single “Jopping”, dropped on October 4th, followed by a Los Angeles showcase that shut down Hollywood streets and was live streamed worldwide. Just a week later, they celebrated a historical no.1 on the Billboard 200 -- making them the first ever K-pop artists to hit the top spot with a debut release.

It’s worth noting that SM has experimented with supergroups and ‘special units’ before, but these are typically temporary and Korea-centric -- a live performance here, a special single there. SuperM, as you’ll likely have noticed, has been aimed directly at the international market since the very beginning. In harnessing their individual strengths and fandoms -- all members maintain their roles in their original groups as well as their solo careers -- SM have formed a group with effectively 14 million collective albums sales and almost four billion music video views to its name before it even started. United in this way, the artists bring a new kind of energy that fans are lapping up. Just two months on from release, the video for "Jopping" already has over 47 million views.

So who are these seven members?

Taemin, the 26-year-old industry veteran among them, debuted in 2008 with SHINee. Fans watched on as he grew from a shy teenager to a fearless artist who is now famously looked up to by his peers. Baekhyun, the eldest and designated leader of the team at 27, is one of EXO's lead vocalists, known for his cheekiness. Then there’s Kai, also from EXO, who happens to be spellbinding, ballet-trained performer. Taeyong, one of NCT's main rappers and lyricists, is something of an enigma. His full-time bandmate Mark, the youngest of the supergroup at 20 years old, also helps out on the rap front. Completing the line-up are two NCT members who are also part of their Chinese subunit, WayV: Ten, a multitalented Thai artist, and Lucas, a Hong-Kong born heartthrob.

We caught up with the group to discuss how they deal with nerves, feeling like rookies again, and the new releases they've got planned for 2020.

Hi SuperM! During your debut showcase back in October you mentioned being nervous. Has the US tour been less nerve-wracking?

Taeyong: First off, it’s been so great to be back as SuperM to perform in front of all our US fans! We’re having so much fun. It was less nerve-wracking because now we’re a lot more comfortable with each other and had much more time to practice and perform together than we did for the debut showcase.

How was the process of connecting with each other, since you come from different groups but have known each other for years?

Kai: I think all of us were very open to each other, wanting to get closer. Despite already having a senior-junior relationship, we were all open to teaching each other and we had a lot of great conversations. I personally tried to connect to the rest of the guys like an older brother from the neighbourhood. We joke around a lot and have fun together.

What's one thing you learned from each other so far?

Ten: We’ve been learning so much from each other in many different aspects, but if I had to choose one thing, it’s probably music. We all come from distinct music styles, so it’s cool to learn from each other when we’re together. It makes me look forward to every day.

Can you tell us how you prepared for this tour?

Mark: Our preparation time was more limited than we would have liked, so we were very committed those sparse days we got together. We rehearsed in various ways: for example, we built a replica of the stage at a gym to rehearse, and of course we rehearsed at the actual venue as well. The energy was always really good.

What was your first impression of "Jopping", both as a track and as a word?

Mark: The strong SMP [SM's signature genre, a blend of pop, rock, R&B and hip-hop with bold choreography] vibe struck me the most. I could feel how vast the track was just by listening to it, including the depth it held. I honestly believed that it was the right song for SuperM's debut. As for the word, I thought it was a good idea. It fits the energy we wanted to deliver as a message and it felt cool to be introducing the world to a new word of our own.

You all perform solo stages at the concert. Which is your favourite and why?

Ten: Everyone is obviously so amazing, so it’s hard to choose one. But if I really just had to choose, I’d choose Taemin’s solo stage. In just five minutes, he showcases his vocal abilities through “Danger”, then kills it for the choreography and overall performance aspect during “Goodbye”. As I watch him perform, I can’t help but to think that he is one of the most impressive all-around artists out there. I hope to be an artist like that someday.

You guys have clearly launched with a unique strategy. What other innovations do you want to make in the industry?

Taeyong: It’s been really cool to be given the opportunity to be part of something new and innovative like this. As a team and as individuals, we all want to showcase new and innovative stages and performances to our fans. It’s been a fun journey working together and figuring out how to showcase our styles within our performances on this tour, both as a group and individuals. We hope to continue to bring fresh new ideas as artists who perform on stage.

You all have years of experience behind you, but with SuperM you are technically rookies again. What advice would you give to your younger selves?

Baekhyun: I do think of us as rookies again as SuperM. And the synergy we’re able to create with this specific combination of members makes for a whole new set of charms. If I were able to give advice to my younger self, I’d definitely tell him to continue to work hard, because people will notice you as long as you try your best.

Can fans expect another official release from SuperM soon?

Mark: I don't want to give out any spoilers, but we did perform two new songs during the tour already. Fans may already be expecting another comeback and I want to assure them that we are currently working on new things to show our fans. We are trying our best to create something that will meet or maybe even exceed our fans' expectations. Hope they like it.

What are your expectations for 2020?

Taemin: Because we’ll be back in the U.S. promoting for the tour, I’m excited about experiencing all the different cultures and famous spots at the different regions we’re headed. And of course I’m so excited to see all our fans there!

Mark, in NCT 127's recent interview you jokingly said that you came from the future. Now SuperM's tour name is We Are the Future. What does this mean to you?

Mark: I believe that "future" is and has always been the motto and the mindset of everyone at our label. Whatever it may be, we all try to focus on the next step and make plans for what's ahead of us. Our aspiration is to lead the generation through our music and art.

SuperM have just announced their European 2020 tour, stopping off in Paris on 26 February and London on 28 February."

Credit: Vice.

#EXO #EXO K #Baekhyun #Kai #191217 #t:news #fs:vice #comeback:Obsession

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miss-spooky-eyes · 5 years ago

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Riddle (Part III)

The conclusion of my Imperial Agent Devinahl’s backstory.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of child abuse and child prostitution (in earlier parts); emotionally abusive adults; slavery; being torn apart by eels. It is not fun.

NOTES: All names by the Star Wars name generator; all Star Wars universe mistakes by me. I do not own the Star Wars universe.

PART THREE: SCHOOLGIRL

She has no name, and she is always moving.

When they make planetfall, when the doors hiss open and they step out on to a new world, they assume names - names that are written on official documents, printed on identification cards beneath photos of themselves in clothes they've never worn, tossed like scraps are to starving children because they cost nothing to give away. And when they return to the ship, when the engines start to fire and they rise up together, the names are left behind; they have passed over them like shadows on the sand, they leave no impression.

Even the ship has no name - more than that, it has no fixed form. She learns in amazement that precisely the same ship, with nothing more than a superficial alteration of hull markings and emitter beacons, can go from being a small passenger transport out of Ord Mantell to a cargo runner from the notorious junk pits of Yuuv Rata to a classic pleasure yacht lovingly restored by a rich merchant from Alon Prime. 'People believe what you tell them,' Helm tells her, lounging in the pilot's seat, one finger muting the transmitter as they wait for Alderaanian orbital control to clear them. 'If you tell them the right way.' He lifts his finger. 'Acknowledged, Rhu Caenus Control. Have a pleasant day.'

There are no names on the ship, but there are designations. Helm is the pilot; he runs things on the bridge, working most closely with Wheelwright, the Ugnaught who maintains the ship's engines, and Scrivener, who does everything with computers, on and off the ship. Then there is Barber, olive-skinned and with a dreamy smile that only vanishes when he is attending to one of the crew or working on her implants. Yeoman and Bailiff are both human males, but there the resemblance ends; Yeoman is the biggest man she has ever seen, barrel-chested, his arms thickly corded with muscle, and peppers his speech with strange words she learns are Mandalorian. Bailiff is tall but rake-thin, never too far from a vibroblade, and is the one among the crew who is most wedded to the Kaasian accent the rest of them assume and discard as easily as their planetside identities. And then there is Bowyer, short and stocky and unassuming, her own accent rich with Tatooine and her grey eyes perpetually ever-so-slightly narrowed as if against the desert glare - or to focus on something in the distance. Bowyer is the sniper.

They are all human, apart from Wheelwright the Ugnaught engineer, and Locket. Locket is the only one whose designation does not reflect her job on the ship, but then Locket does not have a job on the ship, or if she does, Sifter is the only one who knows about it. Locket can often be found practicing her dancing in an empty storage bay, or in the one large common area aboard when the storage bays are full, bare toes soft on the metal floors, lekku twirling; at other times, she flirts with everybody on board indiscriminately, except for Bowyer, who stops her short with nothing but the ever-so-slightly-deeper narrowing of her eyes. But often Locket is closeted with Sifter in Sifter's office for hours at a time, the only one who ever gets one-on-one time with Sifter. There is a closeness there which the girl senses, even if she doesn't understand.

She does not try very hard not to be jealous.

At first, the girl who had been Stanza and then Gella thought they were simply travelling somewhere, to some planet, some place where she and Sifter would stay at least for a while. But after some time, she realizes that the ship is the place they are going to stay. They do make planetfall, in plenty of places, but they never stay more than a couple of days, or as long as it takes Sifter to accomplish whatever purpose has brought them there. As she learns more about space travel, she begins to understand that sometimes they are travelling simply to travel, spending days or even weeks on journeys which could have been completed in hours. 'Too paranoid for planetfall,' she hears Yeoman mutter under his breath one day as Sifter leaves the bridge after issuing a course correction.

It is a strange life, but she doesn't have too much time to dwell on it, because while everybody on the ship except her and Locket has a job, everybody on the ship - including Locket - is teaching her something.

Helm gives her basic instruction in starship design and the principles of astronavigation, sets her to work manually plotting hyperspace routes. Scrivener talks to her about slicing, about electronic locks and seals, about ciphers and computers, although what Scrivener says is often as incomprehensible as the code which streams across her screen. Wheelwright, or at least the protocol droid that translates for him, talks to her about engines and systems, about critical junctions, vulnerabilities, exposed circuits, pressure points.

Yeoman teaches her about pressure points of a different sort. It's his job to teach her some hand-to-hand combat, a task he thinks is futile - 'You're never going to get much bigger than knee-high to a tuk'ata, little one, if anybody corners you without a weapon, or if you don't kill them within the first two or three blows, you'll be dead' - but nevertheless brings plenty of enthusiasm to. Bailiff is the one to gift her with a vibroknife, her first; he shows her grips and guards and strikes and makes her practice them over and over again, makes her practice throwing one-handed, left-handed, overarm, underarm, at the flimsy targets he fixes to the walls; he has her chopping fruits and vegetables in the galley under the eye of the protocol droid, looking to build up hand-eye coordination and her fearlessness with blades.

She thought Bowyer would teach her to shoot, but: 'Anybody can learn to shoot,' the woman drawls. 'Sniping is different.' She isn't given a blaster, but instead told to practice various different exercises - staying in the same position for a long time, or staring at something without blinking; keeping still and not flinching when Bowyer unexpectedly shouts in her ear or tickles the sole of her foot.

Barber is the closest to a conventional teacher - he gives her files to read on science, history, mathematics, languages - but that is still not very close. He is fascinated with her implants (apparently Doctor Korpil had told the truth about a few things, and one of them was how rare, expensive and high-quality her implants were) and, with his gentle encouragement, they begin to explore what her implants can really do, 'or rather, what you can do with them,' he corrects her softly. She had survived on Draavi Prime by learning to block out any more stimuli than a 'normal' human brain would receive; now she learns that she can, very carefully, widen her perceptual channels a little; not much, but even a fraction allows her to see and in particular hear much better than un-enhanced human eyes and ears would be able to. Before long, the whole crew are joining in the games with which he encourages her to test her limits; elaborate games of hide-and-seek, where she, blindfolded, has to hunt down the rest of the crew, or better yet, corner Devinahl, whose six feet make almost no noise at all as she moves about and who can jump from place to place with ease; or memory games, in which she learns that if she just glances once at something, her enhanced eyes somehow retain that information for a limited time.

Some days, Sifter joins in the games and tests with a vengeance; sometimes, they barely see her for days at a time as she remains closeted in her office, where nobody but Locket is allowed; sometimes she will suddenly appear for one of the crew's meals, sitting carelessly astride her chair, wolfing down food and trading bloodthirsty stories with Bowyer and Yeoman until everybody is laughing or looking faintly nauseous; sometimes she observes such strict protocol that there is virtual silence on board the ship from dawn till dusk. She does not appear to pay much attention to the girl she brought with her from Draavi Prime, but the girl is not fooled; everything that happens on board the ship happens under Sifter's watchful eye.

At night, she sleeps soundly in her tiny cabin. Sifter had showed it to her on her very first day on the ship, had spent time showing her all the locks that fastened the door, explaining patiently to her in great detail precisely how each one kept everybody out. The girl could almost have loved her for that. She never lets anyone into her cabin the whole time she lives on the ship, except for Devinahl. The little creature likes to sleep curled up in her arms.

Locket, the only member of the crew close to her age, at first showed no interest in teaching her anything, or in her presence at all. Then after three months, she suddenly turned friendly, prone to curling up next to the girl on the couches in the common area and paying her compliments, or inviting her back to her, Locket's, quarters, to watch holo-movies or play childish games or experiment with hair, clothes, makeup.

It does not take long to realize that these are lessons, too. It's not long before she and Locket are sometimes allowed out together when they make planetfall, often for shopping expeditions or recreational activities, the two of them trying to outdo each other in successfully pretending to be silly, carefree, laughing teenage girls as they try on clothes or flirt with boys in cafes or play holo-tag. She looks forward to these expeditions, because they are always followed by the same thing; she and Locket both eat dinner with Sifter in Sifter's private cabin. Sifter will ask her questions, testing her recall of the day - how many service droids were there in that food hall? How many exits did the boutique have? How many different alien species on that world? - and she gets better and better at answering. Soon, there are two games; trying to answer Sifter's answers correctly, and trying to pick up on the code that Locket was using to communicate to Sifter whether the answers she gave were correct - bites of her food, lekku twitches, blinks, finger taps. She gets to see Sifter's broad, generous smile if she deciphers the code before the questions are over; and she also gets to see Locket fume.

It's not until much, much later that she realizes that Locket was being tested as much as she was, and by that time, her life on the ship is over. IIn the end, it lasts barely two years before she is summoned into Sifter's office one day, and Sifter looks up from her datapad and says: 'Time to go to work, Schoolgirl.'

Her name is Karia Madeesh, and she is a bad girl.

As Karia, whose parents are both career officers in the Republic navy - there is a framed holo of the three of them on the bedside table in every room she's given - she enters a new world: That of the elite school for children of the rich and influential.

She had never realised that there was a whole industry dedicated to raising and educating the children of the wealthy and powerful, but of course there is. High-ranking career officers in the Republic navy; senior diplomats and bureaucrats; noble houses on worlds whose cultures still clung to aristocratic ideals; merchants running businesses and trading empires that spanned several systems - they all shared two things: A desperation for their children to be equipped with the education and skills to take their places in the same elite strata they themselves occupied; and no time to do it in. And so the institutions spring up, on a hundred worlds: Schools, academies, educational establishments which specialize in taking the offspring of the rich and powerful and educating them to become rich and powerful themselves.

Karia Madeesh attends the Coruscant Sunrise Academy. She spends a year at the Royal Areopagitica on Alderaan. Three different schools on Corellia - the Coronet City College, the Orailus Institute and the Minati Calfax Advanced School - are her home for various lengths of time. She studies on Makeb, and Ord Mantell, and Alon Prime, and Coruscant again. And wherever she goes, she finds herself very popular almost immediately.

When Sifter first explained the assignment to her, she had been sceptical: Why make Karia a bad girl? Even if it gave her an excuse to be constantly moving schools, when Karia's behaviour got too outrageous and she was invariably kicked out, wouldn't it keep her classmates from wanting to get to know her?

She knows better now. Sifter is a genius. Whenever Karia arrives at a new school, word inevitably leaks out that she has been expelled from her last one, and the aura of the 'bad girl' surrounds her. So, too, do her peers, after a short time, all of them wanting to be around this new, rebellious, dangerous girl, who smiles sweetly at the teachers and has no qualms about openly defying them in ways which are sure to call down the wrath of the authorities on her head.

She even finds a way to work her implants into the story. As she tells, or rather reluctantly confides it, they are repairing the damage done when one of the front-line bases her parents were stationed at came under heavy fire. 'They told him it was too dangerous for families, but of course the colonel had to think about his career,' she says bitterly to those huddled around her, breathless, agog. 'Hope the promotion was worth what this school is going to charge you when I'm through, Daddy darling.'

Once again, she is lying to the rich, and she is better at it than ever.

These children don't really know anything, of course. But it's amazing what the slightest crumbs of information can do when combined with others, Sifter says; and parents are very bad at keeping secrets from their offspring. A casual reference to a potential reassignment from the son of a Republic general - 'He said we might have to move again, can you believe it?'; a merchant's daughter showing off her knowledge of a non-aligned world supposedly closed to outside traders; a Nautolan bureaucrat's podling who passes along their uncle's highly unflattering opinion of a Republic supposed war hero they're studying in whispers to make them all laugh; it all adds up. All Karia has to do is pass along the information along agreed-upon channels, and bide her time until the signal comes from Sifter that she is to pull out. Then all it takes is some piece of mischief extravagant enough to get her kicked out, and the same pleasant-faced, nondescript couple who are in all her framed holos will be summoned to undergo a painful exit interview with the head of whatever educational establishment whose patience she has exhausted this time.

They are the same pleasant-faced couple who show up to parents' days (sometimes, though not often, accompanied by a dark-skinned, older woman who introduces herself as Karia’s old nurse); and it is they who welcome her back to an apartment on Coruscant for vacations. If Karia has done her job well enough, though, she is usually invited to a friend's home for weekends and holidays, and that only opens up further possibilities in terms of intelligence-gathering, as she makes one of a party ski-ing the Wokbenlau Alps, or sailing the Triblen Delta, or whispering and giggling in the corner with a group of other girls at a Coronet City soiree. If not, Sifter always has another plan for her, and she slips away unobtrusively from her 'parents' apartment to attend an intensive computer science course, or spend a memorable summer learning to shoot rabid kath hounds from speeder-back on Dantooine, or study Rodian martial arts on Ord Mantell.

If she ever feels bad about what she is doing - if she sees someone who counts her as a friend weeping about a parent lost to an Imperial ambush, or exposed for court-martial - Karia only has to remember the lines at the refugee camp, and her focus returns.

After a few years, her parents 'defect' from the Republic, and Karia starts attending schools on Dromund Kaas, on Avery Station, on Terrek Nor. It doesn't surprise her; the Empire has enemies within that need watching, as much as without, or so Sifter tells her in one of those rare meetings when she is posing as Karia's old nurse. Frankly, it makes little difference: There are fewer aliens among her classmates, but otherwise the rich and their children, Republic or Empire, are much the same.

She never goes back to the nameless ship. Nor does she see any of the crew again. She is almost sure she sees Locket in a holo-news broadcast about the new wave of wealthy Hutts moving in on Makeb when she is at a school there, collared and chained with her leash clamped in some crime-slug's fat fist, but the camera pans away almost immediately and though she studies the recording obsessively in secret, she cannot find a way to identify Locket beyond all doubt. The image makes her feel uneasy, but she tells herself: Sifter has her eye on Locket, just as she does on Karia. Sifter has her eye on them all.

If Karia had ever doubted this, she has her confirmation when things go wrong - the only time that things go wrong.

She really never thinks about her parents any more, about Draavi Prime or the refugee camp or Doctor Korpil and his clinic; those things are safely shut away in the recesses of her mind, and if they surface, it's as dreams, night terrors, rages, longings - things that she can safely process in the privacy of her own room, behind locked doors; harvest the useful emotions from, and shut the rest away. Discard everything that doesn't serve a purpose, Sifter had told her once, back in the days on the ship, and if you can't discard it, find a use for it.

It all works so well until one day, after she had been Karia Madesh for about two years and during her second stint on Corellia, she is strolling through the shopping quarter with her (current) group of friends during their free afternoon and sees her little sister Scerra walking down the street.

Karia stops dead in her tracks. Adrenaline slams through her veins. She cannot move for a moment or two, so great is her shock at having seen Scerra pass by, toddling along on her little legs, each hand held by strange adults. As soon as she can move again, she spins round, ignoring her friends' exclamations and questions, and searches the crowd, pushing through them as she tries to catch up with Scerra and the people who were taking her away.

She catches a glimpse of Scerra's back, the brightly-beaded band which holds back her ponytail, and starts fighting through the crowd to get to her, shouting at the top of her voice for people to get out of her way, swearing, pushing. Her friends catch up to her, a babble of questions, confusion, embarrassment; she ignores them and one by one they fall away from her. There is a rocket tram stop nearby; she vaults the turnstile, ducking under the guards' arm, running to catch up with the glimpse of Scerra's coat she's sure she saw disappearing between the closing doors. She gets to the tram just as the doors slide closed.

She howls in anguish as the tram begins to move, clawing at the doors. The guards have caught up with her, they are pulling her away as the tram accelerates, speeding Scerra away; two of her friends, more determined than the rest, have caught up with her too, trailing shopping bags and showering distressed exclamations. People are turning to look and staring; a crowd is gathering; it's everything she is not supposed to do, and she doesn't care. There is another rocket tram pulling in, and she has to be on it. One guard is holding on to her arms, and she twists out of her jacket, pulling it over his head and kicking him hard, twice; the other reaches for his stun stick, and with a move that comes straight out of the recesses of her brain, where her training is stored, Karia spins into him, driving her elbow into his stomach, then up into his chin as he doubles over, stamping hard on his foot at the same time. She has one glimpse of her friends, staring, wide-eyed, and she is on the rocket tram, racing down the cars to get as far away as she can before it pulls away.

Of course she has no idea where Scerra and the adults who were with her got off the tram, but she is panicking too hard to think about that, or anything except finding them. She tears up and down the tram, grabbing people's shoulders to look at their startled faces then racing away; she leaps off at a random residential district, runs out of the station into the streets, looking everywhere for the distinctive little figure, the pink coat, the bright beads in her hair, screaming her sister's name until her throat is raw. Startled passers-by point and whisper; her comm armband, linked to the school's systems, buzzes and buzzes until she tears it off and throws it into the street. All she can think about is that somewhere in this city is her little sister, her little sister being taken away.

It's hours before she comes to her senses. The frenzy that has been driving her ebbs away all at once, leaving her standing alone on a street corner in a part of Coronet City she's never seen, exhausted, every muscle in her body throbbing with fatigue, her face streaked with dirt, her eyes swollen from crying, her throat raw with screaming. She has missed curfew, thrown away her comm-band; the group of girls she has been so carefully infiltrating have seen her behave with total irrationality - worse, they saw her fight off those guards. She has ruined everything, and for what? She did not see Scerra. She could not have seen Scerra at all.

It's the first time she has been asked to leave a school ahead of Sifter's timetable. Her 'parents' are there to take her away; she sits numbly through the exit interview, gathers her things; the senator's daughter she was targeting won't even meet her eyes when they pass in the hall.

Karia is not surprised when her parents, back on Coruscant, tell her that she has an appointment with a doctor, and she is not surprised when that doctor turns out to be Sifter, Sifter in a white coat leaning back in the doctor's chair behind the doctor's desk as if she belongs there. As Karia sits across the desk from her, Devinahl leaps from Sifter's shoulder, snakes across the desk and leaps at her. Karia catches her, hugs the warm, little body close to her chest, lets Devinahl wind around her shoulders, trilling in her ear and nuzzling her cheek.

'Tell me,' Sifter says, without preamble, once the first flurry of Devinahl's welcome is over.

Karia does.

After she has told her story, as succintly as she can, Sifter shifts position so that she is leaning forward on the desk, her hands folded in front of her. The posture triggers something in Karia's memory, something she doesn't want to remember.

'It was stupid,' Karia says eventually when Sifter says nothing. 'I know, it was stupid.'

Sifter still says nothing for a minute. Then: 'Tell me why it was stupid.'

'I behaved irrationally. I drew attention to myself. I jeopardised my cover and alienated my targets.'

Again, the silence; again, Sifter says, 'Tell me why it was stupid.'

Karia looks down, unable to meet Sifter's eyes. She cannot say it.

'Tell me.'

'Because Scerra isn't a little girl any more.' Hot tears rise up and overflow on to her cheeks, and she cannot even force herself to wipe them away. 'The child I saw was ... was Scerra's age when I last saw her. That was seven years ago. She's almost thirteen now, she isn't - she isn't a small child.' Karia cannot stop the wail in her voice. 'She's - she's grown up without me -'

She cannot go on.

Sifter turns her chair away, turns her head away and studies the wall as the girl in the chair opposite her sobs uncontrollably.

Karia almost loves her for that.

She cries for a long time, and when she finally stops, it's only because she doesn't have the energy to cry any more. The paroxysm has left her boneless, light-headed, slumped in her chair, arms cradling Devinahl automatically as the little lizard creature blinks curious golden eyes at the tear-streaked face above her.

Only once Karia's breathing has returned to normal, with only the occasional hitch in it to betray her recent state, does Sifter turn to face her again.

'No one has taken your sister away,' Sifter says, gentle, steely. 'She is with your parents. She is home. They are Imperial citizens now. They have the protection of the Empire. If you want to protect your family - if you want to save your sister - then serve the Empire. Protect the Empire. Make us strong.'

Karia understands what Sifter is saying; she is still in Sifter's employ. She is still Sifter's agent. She is not being sent away. A wave of relief washes over her so powerful that, despite her exhaustion, fresh tears threaten to spill.

'You won't make this mistake again, will you?'

'No,' Karia promises, sitting straighter in her chair. 'No, I won't.'

She never does.

Her name is Akysa Rakto on Bemeth, and Verls Eldrel on Kries, and Swa-Lu Fothe on Yuuv Rata.

She studies mechanical engineering on Angavel, and galactic history on Mon Calamari, and exobiology on Aeos Prime.

It is not very different from what she did as Karia Madeesh, except that now she is attending universities, not elite schools. Her targets are still sometimes family members of important or influential people, but more often than not, they are protest groups, activists, student societies dedicated to political causes of one sort or another. She never knows whether the particular group she is infiltrating is one that Sifter wants to encourage, presumably with the goal of destabilizing one Republic world or another, or suppress; it's not her job to make that decision. She simply passes on the information she gathers.

More and more, though, she cannot resist adding her own analysis, drawing attention to weaknesses or opportunities she has spotted in the reports that she delivers to dropboxes, hard-encrypted on datapads. What Sifter thinks about this, she doesn't know; she only ever hears from her in the form of code phrases embedded in the mail she receives, and they can only mean a set range of things: Stay the course. Dig deeper. Change focus. Get out.

Her implants are a challenge; she has to come up with stories to explain them, and explain how she can afford to have them maintained. They also make her appearance far too distinctive. When she assumes a new identity, she experiments with different ways to disguise them, ways of wearing her hair, adding new phony prosthetics to change their size and shape, getting fake scars or tattoos or birthmarks to draw attention away from them. Fundamentally, though, they cannot be too well disguised. She simply has to be sure that she does her work so well that nobody suspects her enough to circulate a description of her appearance. It forces another layer of caution, and that can only be a good thing.

They are also invaluable in this work. Often she does not even have to join these societies; just find ways to be in a position where she can, with her enhanced hearing, overhear and record them. Sometimes she won't even get involved in whichever group she is targeting; simply pose as the girlfriend of one of the members, who has no interest in her lover's politics. It's amazing what you can do when you only need a single glance to carry away reams of data inside your head, or when you can overhear a murmured conversation without even being in the room.

Fraudulent intimacy is a part of her work now, of course. It isn't her preferred method, but it is effective. Besides, she wants to know about sex, all about it, all the different games people play, all the ways to find out what someone likes, all the ways to be good at giving it to them. If she knows about it, she can use it; it's a tool, it can't be turned against her.

And it's important to know, she thinks, just how good your body is at lying to you. She learns that it doesn't matter that you know all about hormones and chemical bondings and the rest of it; your body can still produce a wave of tenderness for a sleeping lover that almost brings you to tears, an agonizingly pleasurable aching longing for the touch of their skin, a giddiness at the sight of them, that has nothing to do with your cool, analytical brain. It's good to know this, and be wary, and be smart. For later, when her targets are more dangerous than student anarchists and rebelling adolescents.

She intends to be so smart, later.

In the meantime, she gets better and better at disappearing into the role she is playing (but not too far). She has learned her lessons well: Her family, so far away on Draavi Prime, are what she thinks about when she feels a pang of guilt for those she is betraying, and that silences her qualms. If she ever thought of going home, she does not do so any more; she doesn't want to think of the people they are now, of the grey that must be in her mother's hair, the lines around her father's eyes, Scerra growing into a young woman. She thinks of them instead as they were when she last saw them, but well-fed, healthy, happy, prosperous as they had never been in the refugee camp, unchanging as if they were embedded in crystal. Hers to protect, to watch over. She will be strong so they don't have to.

The only time she struggles is on Yuuv Rata. Her cover, Swa-Lu Fothe, is studying medicine, and when she walks into the medical lab, her body immediately betrays her: The smell of disinfectant, the sound of the tiled floor, the shine of the surgical instruments. She tries to force herself through it, but it's as if her implants are tightening around her head, a band of pain cutting remorselessly into her flesh.

She makes it about half an hour into their first dissection before going outside to throw up. She sinks down on a convenient wall, knees trembling too much to stand, and wonders if Sifter arranged this on purpose.

If it is a test, she passes it with flying colours. Because the young man who comes out to see if she's all right is not just a fellow student; he is a member of the group she is here to infiltrate, a group with ties to another, more radical organization which aims at liberating alien test subjects across the galaxy. Not only that, but he is the son of a high-up Republic bureaucrat, a bureaucrat with high expectations for his son ...

'Are you all right?' he asks her, eyes wide, full of concern.

She nods weakly. 'It's just ... I have a real phobia of labs and hospitals.'

'But you're studying medicine.'

She smiles bitterly. 'It's all my father cares about.'

That's all it takes to get him on side, and soon, their entire class is rooting for Swa-Lu in her brave battle to overcome her fears and crippling issues, and she has been invited to several meetings, and an individual she strongly suspected of being the local cell leader had taken her aside to commiserate with her about the tyrannical effects of parental expectation. (Never underestimate how much the children of the rich hate their parents.) Lying awake at night, curled against her classmate in his narrow bed, she lets the elation surge through her. She has passed the test. This is how it will be, when she joins Imperial Intelligence, when she makes it as an agent: She will take her weaknesses, and make them into weapons.

She is into her fifth year of this kind of work, taking an advanced psychology course on Bogano, when the message comes. Her aunt is dying.

If this moon has a name, she doesn’t know it. The shuttle from Station Zaboor drops her off at a small landing pad, over two weeks after she left Bogano; she’s in a walled compound, surrounded by jungle. There are a number of buildings, but only one of any size: This must be the clinic.

The place is deserted.

As she approaches the largest building, she hears a soft exclamation and turns to see an olive-skinned man in the uniform worn by the doctors here hurrying towards her. It is Barber; leaner than ever, his body feels almost brittle in her arms as he hugs her, but he still wears the same vague, dreamy smile.

'You’re not too late,' he breathes into her ear, the faint whisper a shout thanks to her implants. He pulls back, holding her hands, beaming at her fondly as if she was his long-lost niece. 'Look at you. You're all grown up.'

'How is she?' the young woman asks. 'My aunt?'

His smile fades. 'She's waiting for you.'

The clinic is spotlessly clean, but empty, except for one or two nurses they pass in the hallway. Barber will not respond to any of her questions, except with a shake of his head and a smile; he simply ushers her into Sifter’s room when they finally reach it, and shuts the door behind her.

She had not known what to believe until this moment, but now she sees it: Sifter is indeed dying.

In the five years that have elapsed since they last saw each other, the woman seems to have aged twenty. Her dark hair has not only turned solid white, much of it has fallen out, leaving only wispy strands which reveal plenty of flaky, wrinkled scalp. Her face seems to have collapsed in on itself, her cheeks sunken as if the flesh had been sucked from her bones. She cannot see much of Sifter's body under the blanket, but the full figure she remembers seems to have wasted away.

She looks around. The room is scrupulously clean, perfectly tidy; Sifter is being well looked after.

It is also blank, except for a pile of datapads which lie on Sifter's bedside table. There are no holos (not that she would expect there to be), no medals on display; no plants, no flowers. And there is no sign of Devinahl. The fibreglass stand, moulded to look like a forked branch, on which the little creature used to like to climb and hang stands in the corner, but Devinahl herself is nowhere to be seen.

She takes a seat next to the bed, and waits.

After perhaps an hour and a half, Sifter's eyelids flutter, and she turns her head. 'Schoolgirl,' she mutters, her voice faint and raspy. She coughed, and even that sounds dry and rattling. 'You took your time.'

'The route you sent me on was circuitous,' Schoolgirl retorts (she is hardly a schoolgirl any more, but she will be Schoolgirl for today, if that's what Sifter wants). 'I transferred twice through Nar Shadda. In different directions.'

'I gave my life to Imperial Intelligence, but they're not getting my death.' Sifter coughs again, and again; her body beneath the blankets is racked. 'Water.'

Schoolgirl pours a glass of water from the pitcher on Sifter's bedside, then, realizing belatedly that Sifter cannot hold it, lifts it to the woman's lips herself, tilting it gently. She has never done this for anyone before, and she does it badly, the water spilling down Sifter's chin and running down her neck.

As she apologizes, Sifter waves a clawlike hand, silencing her as she gulps down a few precious sips. 'That's better,' she sighs, her voice sounding a little fuller, a little clearer as Schoolgirl takes the glass away. She fixes Schoolgirl with a sharp gaze as the younger woman sits back down. 'You know I'm dying.'

She considers platitudes, encouragement, and decides against it. 'I know.'

'Nothing to be done. And believe me, I've tried.' Sifter stares at the ceiling. 'A hundred worlds.' Her eyes flick back to the woman sat beside her at the soft noise of comprehension. 'What?'

'I always wondered why you were on Draavi Prime all those years ago. It was a minor operation for someone in your position.' Schoolgirl remembered the very first time she'd seen Sifter, pretending to be another wealthy, bored woman seeking illicit treatments and prohibited remedies from the hospital world's doctors. 'You were looking for a cure.'

'Noval Jhcor Syndrome. It's a rare blood disorder. Incurable. You know how I got it?'

Schoolgirl shook her head again.

'Thirty years ago on Abaddon Prime. The Empire was fighting a rogue colony of Mandalorians. Not just any Mandalorians, either.' She coughed, but shook her head when Schoolgirl nodded towards the water. 'These ones were ... smart. Vicious. Gearing up to fight wars of sabotage and indiscriminate violence on a hundred of our worlds. Intelligence had managed to smuggle a complement of biogenic warheads into their base, but they needed to be armed and triggered. I knew I could get into their base, but the arming device ... the only way to smuggle it in was to hide it with the radiation from an unshielded power core. I got in, armed the warheads, and got out.' She coughed again. 'They never told me the core was using a halenium source. Halenium-1, and I carried it around next to my skin for seventy-two hours. It took twelve years of symptoms before they would admit it.'

Schoolgirl said nothing.

'These are the people I recruited you to serve. And I knew it when I found you on Draavi Prime.' Sifter plucked restlessly at the covers. 'They will use you. Poison you. Lie to you. If you obey them, they will sacrifice you. If you try to run, you'll find the chain already fastened around your ankle before you take your first step. If you disobey, they'll cut whatever they can use out from inside you, then toss you on the dungheap. The only things worse than the things they do to the Empire's enemies are the things that they do to its patriots. And you can't imagine the things they do to its enemies.'

She studied Schoolgirl's face, then snorted. 'You think you'll be different. I can see it in your face. You think that if you're clever enough, and loyal enough, and useful enough, you'll be the exception to the rule. Serves me right for trying to talk to the young.' She turned her eyes away to stare at the ceiling. 'At least I tried to warn you,' she muttered, and closed her eyes.

Schoolgirl let her breathe for a while, before asking: 'Where's Devinahl?'

'Mmm?' Sifter opened her eyes, blinking at her. 'Devinahl? She ran off a month ago. Idiot nurse opened the window a crack for some air and she squeezed through and was off into the jungle before you could blink twice. Doesn’t like the smell of death, my little riddle.' She sighed. 'Just as well. I don't want her to watch me die. The same goes for you, by the way. You're on a ship out in six hours.'

'Where am I going?'

'Mmm?'

'I said, where am I going?'

Sifter blinked several times, as if she was having trouble focusing. 'Oh ... the ship's going to Ord Mantell.'

'That doesn't really answer my question.'

Sifter waved a desiccated hand. 'Quiet. I need to rest. We'll finish this when I wake.' Her eyelids were already closing as she spoke.

Schoolgirl waited while Sifter slept, curled up on her hard bedside chair, listening to the older woman's laboured breathing. Nobody came to check on the patient, or the visitor; she guessed that Sifter had said she wanted to be alone, and Sifter's word, as always, seemed to be law.

After ninety minutes or so, she stood up to stretch cramped limbs and turned to look out of the room's one window, at the edge of the compound where the clinic stood and the lush jungle which pressed in upon it on all sides, threatening to spill over the walls and devour. If the window had been open, she was sure she would have been able to smell it; all that vegetation, all that life. No wonder Devinahl had taken her chance when it came. She briefly entertained the thought of going out to search for the little creature - taking some of her favourite foodstuffs, and venturing out; perhaps Devinahl had merely yielded to a momentary impulse when she escaped, and regretted it almost immediately; perhaps she was merely lost and wanted to come home. The little creature had slept in her arms every night for almost two years on the nameless ship; surely she would recognise Schoolgirl's voice, her smell ...

No. Devinahl was a wild thing. She had made her choice to vanish into the jungle, and it would demean them both, somehow, to try to tempt her back.

A series of those horrible dry coughs signalled that Sifter was awake again, and Schoolgirl turned from the window, hurrying to pour water and hold it to her lips. Sifter swallowed a few sips of water, coughed again, and began trying to push herself upright in the bed. Schoolgirl grabbed for pillows to put behind her back, to support her in some semblance of a sitting position, and Sifter waved a hand at the small cabinet that stood by her bed and wheezed: 'Top drawer, Hidden. Stim.'

It only took a moment to find the hidden compartment, release the latch with the pressure of one finger in the right spot; it slid open noiselessly, revealing a row of identical stims. Sifter beckoned impatiently, holding out one arm, and Schoolgirl grabbed a stim and let that first-year medicine training come to her aid, administering the injection without thought.

Sifter winced, then let out a long sigh as whatever had been in the stim passed into her bloodstream. Her papery skin was unpleasantly hot beneath Schoolgirl's fingers.

'Am I helping you die?' she asked.

'I'll help myself, soon enough.' Sifter's eyes were already growing brighter, her speech stronger. 'I'm almost done tying up loose ends. You're the last.'

Schoolgirl settled herself back into her chair, and waited.

'I manipulated you,’ Sifter said abruptly. ‘That day when we first met. Every time since.'

'I know.'

'Just because you know you're being manipulated doesn't change the fact that you are, Schoolgirl. You're still serving someone else's purposes. Don't forget that.'

'Yes, ma'am.' She said it with exaggerated meekness, hoping to amuse Sifter, and got her reward when the older woman snorted.

'You just remember that when I'm gone. I may not have taught you much, but at least you can remember that.'

'You taught me everything.'

'No, I had you taught. It's not the same.' Sifter sighed, staring blindly towards the window and the jungle beyond. 'I meant to teach you so much more. Keep you with me. Mould you. But I was on borrowed time, and there was so much to do ...'

She trailed off, her eyes straying now over Devinahl's empty perch. 'Maybe it's better that I didn't keep you close. Can't complain all those vat-grown assets can't think for themselves and then replace them with someone I've programmed, in my way.' She half-lifted one hand, then let it loll against the bedclothes in a weary gesture. 'It certainly didn't help the others.'

'How many have there been?' Schoolgirl asked quietly.

'I've recruited hundreds of assets for Intelligence in my day. But you mean my pet projects.'

'Yes.'

'Twelve, not counting you.' Sifter stared unseeing at Schoolgirl. 'Twelve I found, and raised, and groomed, and sent to Intelligence when their time came. Twelve.'

'Are they all dead?'

'Dead, or worse.' Sifter's eyes refocused on her face, and there was suddenly a gleam of humour in the dark depths. Schoolgirl found herself smiling back. 'I told you I'd never lie to you.'

'What about Locket?' Schoolgirl asked, remembering that half-glimpse of the Twi'lek chained to the Hutt, remembering too their shopping trips, nights curled on the couch. She had learned so much from Locket. Even now, when she needed to be carefree, flirtatious, effervescent, it was the other girl's mannerisms she reached for - her gestures, her sighs, her outrageously bright smile. 'What happened to her?'

The gleam died in Sifter's eyes. 'I put her in deep cover with the Hutts. She was going to leash a crimelord for us. Operation timescale was eighteen months. She barely lasted six before the Hutt caught her robbing the strongroom. He had her fed to Morustan eels. My dazzling girl. My jewel.'

To her shock, Schoolgirl realized there were tears in Sifter's eyes. 'Eight years I kept her with me. One more after she finished her training, just to prep her for that assignment. And she ends up torn apart by a Hutt's pets. All because she panicked and tried to run. Didn't trust herself, or me.'

'She loved you,' Schoolgirl said softly. 'As I would have. If you'd let me.'

Sifter blinked away the tears, and the sharpness returned to her voice as she said, 'Well, at least I protected you from that.' She showed her teeth in what was far more a grimace than a smile. 'Here's another lesson for you, Schoolgirl: If you want to destroy someone - I mean, destroy them utterly - let them fall in love with you. People like us are poisoned.'

Schoolgirl resisted the temptation to roll her eyes.

Sifter sagged back on her pillows. 'She was going to be my legacy. My last gift to the Empire. Now she's gone, like all the rest. Except for you,' she added as an afterthought.

She controlled the stab of hurt she felt, and smiled. 'Maybe I'll be your legacy.'

Sifter looked at her as if she'd only just become aware of her presence. 'Maybe you will.' She gave that mirthless smile again. 'My little wildcard. My last roll of the Sabacc dice. Maybe you'll be exactly the person the Empire needs, after all.' She closed her eyes briefly. 'Maybe you'll catch a stray blaster bolt your first time in the field. Either way, I won't be alive to see it.'

Schoolgirl watched the woman's lined face, carefully smoothing out her tone when she said, 'You're tired. Do you want me to leave?'

'Not yet.' Sifter opened her eyes again, and flicked her eyes towards the bedside cabinet. 'Second drawer. Find the datapadd.'

It took Schoolgirl longer this time to find the hidden compartment, which turned out to be a cunningly disguised fake bottom to an innocuous-looking macrobinocular case. She held it out to Sifter, who wearily lifted one skeletal arm and unlocked it with a thumbprint and a cipher code she didn't even bother to try to keep Schoolgirl from seeing. 'Thumb. There.' She watched as Schoolgirl pressed her own thumb to the scanner, locking the datapad to her own thumbprint. 'That's what you came here for. Consider yourself tied up, loose end.'

'What's on it?' Schoolgirl asked.

'Your ticket to Intelligence. If you want it.' Sifter pushed herself painfully upright again, her eyes feverishly intense on the younger woman's face. 'As of now, you're no longer in my employ. You can go back to your family, or you can go somewhere - anywhere - else; if you haven't learned enough by now to make your own way in the galaxy, then you never will. The choice is yours. But if you do want to serve the Empire, that's how you do it.' She pointed at the datapad with one finger, too weary to raise her hand more than a fraction off the covers. 'Go to Avery Station. There's instructions in there for how to contact a particular man, and the phrase to say to him. He'll bring you into the training programme.'

'And who will I be?'

'That's on there too. I've given you the best cover I could work up. It will stand up to anything except the most rigorous scrutiny, and anybody senior enough to order a probe like that will see certain ... details that signal my handiwork. They'll know not to look any further.' She slumped back on her pillows again; her voice was growing rougher, more ragged, her breathing more laboured than it had since she had taken the hypospray. 'It's up to you now, Sch-- Stanza.' Sifter smiled at the look on Schoolgirl's face. 'You should hear your name one last time.'

'Maybe you should hear yours, too,' Schoolgirl suggested tightly.

'Nice try.' Sifter squinted up at her. 'Stay for just a minute. Until I fall asleep. Then be gone by the time I wake up.'

Still nettled by Sifter's use of that name, Schoolgirl nevertheless sat down by the older woman's bedside once more, watching as Sifter painfully settled herself into a comfortable position, her eyelids closing. Schoolgirl sat and listened to her laboured breathing. If it wasn't for the relentless plucking of Sifter's hand at the covers, she would have thought Sifter was asleep. The minutes lengthened, and Schoolgirl was just beginning to wonder if Sifter really had fallen asleep when suddenly the older woman spoke, her voice barely more than a mutter. 'Schoolgirl?'

With her implants, Schoolgirl did not have to bend over Sifter's bed to hear the dying woman better, but she did so anyway. 'Yes, Sifter?'

'Do you remember the day we met? The office? The ugly curtains?'

'I remember,' Schoolgirl said softly.

'You told me you wanted to be nobody.'

'And you said you could arrange it.'

'Looks like I lied to you after all.' Sifter's eyes opened briefly to study Schoolgirl's face, then drifted closed again. 'You are someone.'

'Yes, I'm someone,' Schoolgirl answered. 'I’m just not quite sure who.'

Sifter's lips just quivered faintly, as if she wanted to smile but didn't have the energy. 'You'll find out, believe me. Once you get into the field ... you'll find out.'

Her voice trailed off, and her breathing deepened.

Schoolgirl stayed where she was, bending over Sifter, until she was sure the older woman was asleep. Then she bent closer and pressed her lips to the sleeping woman's forehead. 'Goodbye, Sifter,' she whispered, and left.

Outside, in the hallway, she unlocked the datapad and read the instructions for the contact on Avery Station. Then she opened the file containing the basic details of the false identity Sifter had created for her.

And smiled at the name Sifter had chosen.

'Bystran Sangha? I have a priority order for you from Dromund Kaas.'

The factor turned to look at the woman who had just entered his office. She saw his eyes flick to her hips, her sleeves - checking for weapons - then to her implants, her face, and her implants again.

'I wasn't expecting any big orders today,' he said cautiously.

'I didn't say anything about big. Just fast.' She gave him a pleasant smile while she delivered the code phrases Sifter had given her. 'Sixty-four bushels of crystallised leola root. direct to Kaas City.'

'I think that can be arranged.' Bystran Sanghra waved her inside. 'Come in, let's talk about the details.'

The door slid shut behind her as she stepped into his office, and the smile slid from his face just as swiftly and smoothly, leaving only alertness behind. 'Dromund Kaas,' he murmured, once again peering curiously at her implants. 'Yes, that can definitely be arranged.'

'Good,' she said crisply, and saw with satisfaction that the clipped, military delivery she had been practicing snapped his heels involuntarily shut as if he was on the parade ground before he caught himself and reassumed his sloppy, hunched posture.

'Right, right.' He shuffled through a stack of files next to his terminal. 'Dromund Kaas. And ... what name shall I put on the package?'

'Devinahl.' It came out of her mouth as smoothly as if she had been introducing herself this way for years, and she smiled.

'My name is Devinahl.'

***

Thank you to anyone who read this! Literally any feedback welcome.

#swtor #fic #i wrote a thing #oc: devinahl #imperial agent #and we're done with this

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