#is it because i'm white and upper-middle-class

[cosmogyros]

It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.

I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.

And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.

Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"

[nobodywasneverhere]

i hate being disabled and queer at a time like this.

i sit during the day watching my phone, seeing news. i see my every right getting stripped away, i watch through text on my screen as people get dehoused, arrested, forced to starvation by a system i want to go out and fight, but, of course, i can't.

my muscles would give out from the stress, i would endure pain for a week afterward which would bind me to my bed. i am resigned to talking to people who already agree with me and sending out small messages to the void of the internet on platforms which continue to contribute to the destruction of my personhood in the eyes of a fascist government; what good does it do? i'm still stuck in bed, nobody and nothing has changed.

i can't vote, i can't hide myself from it, i'm lucky enough to be in a place with such people that if truly necessary, i could move to another country - but my friends would still be here, most of my family would still be here, here in the place that wants me dead, that wants to force me into the lowest caste of a system meant for extracting capital instead of providing healthcare, protecting rights, making sure i can live.

and what can i do? i can hope that someone else cares enough to do something about it, but the chances that they would? that enough people would? that enough people could even understand what i go through on a daily basis? i truly don't like pessimism but it seems unavoidable with something like this.

i would make art to show people my visceral experience, release it to fly on fragile wings into the world, make sounds and sketch lines, write and dance and be wholly a person but my neck aches even with writing this, my wrists feel that they have been crushed, and my back threatens to give out while laying on a bed.

i am being demoted to something less than human in the eyes of a horrifying amount of people in the country which promised would give me safety. i am a political problem in courtrooms, i am a pity story whispered between my teachers, i am a cautionary tale to nazis online that say i am a conniving predator and a poor confused child that only thinks they want to put their great gendered body through mutilation, i am words from a strict authority about perseverance to kids who they find annoying, i am anything but a person.

i am kid, a fucking angry and scared kid. i am a person and deserve to be treated as one.

i will scream and fight until the memory of being at peace has long since faded and until i find myself living in that memory again. even if it's just online. even if it's just anonymous text on a screen.

but still the question gnaws through the flesh of my thoughts - what good does it do when we can barely do anything?

[1863-project]

Good afternoon, apparently there was a racial hate crime at my undergraduate school and I'm pissed off but also unfortunately not as surprised as I should be

[dw-flagler]

i'll be honest: i actually think haeley's fault is a clever wormfic. Almost certainly not by design, the story was definitely not supposed to be that, but whatever this is my reading

Haeley's Fault feels like something that taylor would write in-universe. That's how she thinks drug addiction works. Taylor Hebert wrote that haeley's fault one night when she was especially miserable in her first year of high school and then tore the lined paper she wrote it on into a hundred pieces and threw the pieces in the garbage. She still worries that someone will find the paper and piece it together, a full year after it was put into a landfill. She's scared that someone will find the piece of paper behind it in her 100 page lined notebook and charcoal scratch it to decipher her vent short-story.

It literally makes sense though. Like, not only is it not how anything like that works, it also fundamentally misunderstands emma in exactly the right way. Emma in that fic realizes that she's ruined taylor's life, and repents and cries and stuff. As if Emma was simply bullying taylor out of some sort of misunderstanding, or that ruining taylor's life wasn't the point. Her sort of 'redemption arc' is exactly what i'd imagine first-year-of-high-school's fantasy to be.

Taylor hits rock bottom through Drugs, a thing that we know she only really understands in the abstract and fears immensely, and then Emma sees this and realizes that she has ruined taylor's life and feels bad about it.

i'm not doing a good job of explaining this but it really feels like a story written by a bullied 14 year old where she fantasizes about her former best friend and current bully coming to a realization and becoming her friend again

[fatliberation]

hi, i'm a fat person who is just starting to learn to love and appreciate my body and i'm very new to the fat community and all that.

i was wondering if you could maybe explain the term ob*se and how it is a slur. i've never heard anything about it being a slur before(like i said, i'm very new here) and was wondering if you could tell me the origin and history of the word or mayy provide links to resources about it? i want to know more about fat history and how to support my community but i'm unsure of how to start

Welcome!

Obesity is recognized as a slur by fat communities because it's a stigmatizing term that medicalizes fat bodies, typically in the absence of disease. Aside from the word literally translating to "having eaten oneself fat" in latin, obesity (as a medical diagnosis) straight up doesn't actually exist. The only measure that we have to diagnose people with obesity is the BMI, which has been widely proven to be an ineffective measure of health.

The BMI was created in the 1800s by a statistician named Adolphe Quetelet, who did NOT sudy medicine, to gather statistics of the average height and weight of ONLY white, european, upper-middle class men to assist the government in allocating resources. It was never intended as a measure of individual body fat, build, or health. 

Quetelet is also credited with founding the field of anthropometry, including the racist pseudoscience of phrenology. Quetelet’s l’homme moyen would be used as a measurement of fitness to parent, and as a scientific justification for eugenics.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called "normal weight" people are "unhealthy" whereas about 50% of so-called "overweight" people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone. "Healthy" lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index.  

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national "obesity" rates, the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as "overweight" overnight—to match international guidelines. Articles about the "obesity epidemic" often use this pseudo-statistic to create a false fear mongering rate at which the United States is becoming fatter. Critics have also noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs. Interesting!!!

So... how can you diagnose a person with a disease (and sell them medications) solely based upon an outdated measure that was never meant to indicate health in the first place? Especially when "obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition?

There is a reason as to why fatness was declared a disease by the NIH in 1998, and some of it had to do with acknowledging fatness as something that is NOT just about a lack of willpower - but that's a very complicated post for another time. You can learn more about it in the two part series of Maintenance Phase titled The Body Mass Index and The Obesity Epidemic.

Aside from being overtly incorrect as a medical tool, the BMI is used to deny certain medical treatments and gender-affirming care, as well insurance coverage. Employers still often offer bonuses to workers who lower their BMI. Although science recognizes the BMI as deeply flawed, it's going to be tough to get rid of. It has been a long standing and effective tool for the oppression of fat people and the profit of the weight loss industry.

More sources and extra reading material:

How the Use of BMI Fetishizes White Embodiment and Racializes Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

The Bizarre and Racist History of the BMI by Aubrey Gordon

The Racist and Problematic History of the Body Mass Index by Adele Jackson-Gibson

What's Wrong With The War on Obesity? by Lily O'Hara, et al.

Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

[nudityandnerdery]

Anyone who lives in a red state wouldn't be surprised that Dallas said fuck you to ice. But these privileged people who shit on every poor, trashy, gerrymandered "red" state citizen are surprised when poor people stand up for their mixed communities. Y'all think we're all bigots since y'all grew up in bigoted upper middle class communities with bigoted upper middle class families. Meanwhile we're out here with queer, mixed, black, white, brown, trans, gay, lesbian, male, female communities where matriarchy runs strong despite the government trying to obliterate us and managing to turn a few of us against each other and blast that minority all over the news. We've always been more diverse than y'all will ever be and because of growing up together we're also less bigoted than y'all. It's the government and like 2 old geezers that's fucking racist homophobic and misogynist. Not us. We love each other, all races and queer shit. We don't care.

Hey there, boo, I'm gonna just take a second to screen shot something I wrote on that post a few weeks back, just for some context:

So, hold your fire, okay? I grew up in a red state. I know that it's not all shitty people, okay? My surprise was literally that the COPS were saying no.

But, I also want to just take a second to gently push back a little bit on something you said:

We've always been more diverse than y'all will ever be and because of growing up together we're also less bigoted than y'all. It's the government and like 2 old geezers that's fucking racist homophobic and misogynist.

Hey. Do me a favor. Think about something for a second:

Who voted in that government? How did they get into power?

It wasn't just two old geezers, okay? You know as well as I do that there's bigots who are voting for these shitbags. And pretending that rural towns are an oasis of harmony and acceptance is the same stupid shit as pretending big cities are. I mean, let's look at recent electoral results. How did your county vote in the presidential race? Where I live right now, the county went roughly 65-35 for Trump. Hasn't gone to a Democratic candidate since LBJ.

It wasn't just two old geezers who got two votes that counted as 65% of the election here, you know? There's plenty of other people that went along with making the government more bigoted. Fucking millions across the country, rural and suburban and urban locations alike.

I'm not saying "Everyone living outside of a metropolis in a blue state is a bigot!" here, obviously, that's not what I'm going for. I'm not saying everyone living in a metropolis in a blue state is open-minded, either, of course, because shitbags gonna be shitbags wherever they're from- like the Felon who got elected, he's grown up in NYC and a racist dick for decades.

But I am saying that being blind to the flaws of places we love is incredibly dangerous, and that attacking each other over pointless shit like where we live is just feeding into the bullshit division that wealthy, powerful assholes use to keep us divided and from actually having an electorate that could support policies that would help large swathes of the nation, and take away the power that their money and control gives them.

So. Just something to think about. Assuming someone is an out-of-touch big city liberal who hates anyone living in a rural area is about as useful as assuming anyone living in a rural area is a MAGA fanatic who hates anyone living in a big city.

Aaaaaanyway. The American inability to acknowledge how class war is what will doom this country is near pathological. Sorry to the rest of the world that we're gonna drag so many of you into our bullshit.

[endlesslyhyperfixating]

I don't want people to just think that i'm a chronic shipper for the sake of shipping. Or that I don't "understand the point" of The Bear. Or all of my shipping habits is only in spite of the misogynoir-ist Bear fans who claim Sydney is annoying and therefore unlovable or undeserving of love.

It's because, she's such a beautifully fleshed-out character. She holds so much of herself back and doesn’t open her walls to anybody. She really only relies on her dad, and even then, she hates the feeling of someone worrying about her. And it's one of the realest qualities to any character I've ever had the pleasure of seeing and watching within a piece of media..

So yeah, okay, I ship Sydney with three different guys on the show (I see the SydRichie potential, SydLuca, c'mon they're cute, and OBVIOUSLY Sydcarmy..) (yes, you can LOL) because I think they could all bring her out of her shell in different ways.

And this is not in an “oh, she’s dependent on another person and the show is totally a romance” kinda way , and no not in a "I think in order for her character to be fully fleshed out she needs a romantic interest"— but in a way that recognizes romance is in fact a large part of most people’s lives. And as a well-written character, she deserves a well-written arc that includes her allowing herself to be loved. Cherished. Adored. The way she deserves. The way that she's denied herself. The way that she's closed herself off to. Time and time again. (Her dodging Carmen's obvious about-to-be-ask-out in season two, or the way that she blew off his "I like this" statement just this season)

She’s done so much good for every single one of the other characters. So yeah, fucking sue me if I think:

Luca and his charm and openness to learning and skill and flirtatiousness could make her more confident

Richie’s commitment to growth could open a space for real honesty between them and their connections growth to shift and become something more together (-this I'm kind eh on but I def see the appeal and the potential some of y'all have pointed out)

Or, (as my shameless favorite): Carmen.

Carmen, the damaged, youngest, most driven, most “I-have-something-to-prove-even-when-I-don’t,” the self-destructive and the caring, the altruistic yet insanely flawed young man, could grow alongside Sydney.

In what has the potential to be one of the most beautifully written dynamics in TV history.

The most complex, D1 yearner, and developed relationships to be told in a story already so deep and complex and human.

To have the upper middle-class Italian white youngest son, Carmen, with ambition and anger and years of pent-up emotion, to choose financially struggling Black woman, Sydney, who had to fight to become an absolutely, deliciously impressive chef in a predominantly white male industry. (meta tagged below) And for her to choose him back.

And to be together. Create together.

To hold each other (accountable, and in love)

in consistent apologies, and growth, and change, in discomfort and in the face of adversity.

To keep choosing each other.

To be each other’s partners.

And yeah, none of this is even from a technical or meta mind. This isn't an analysis or a deep set and heavily researched post to show you guys the evidence of how the show will show her love.. it's honestly just a rant at this point. I defend and love Sydney's character so hard and I believe so deeply she deserves the love she avoids and she deserves to be held and looked at longing and lovingly the way she really, already is. And to be okay with it and not only okay with it but to accept it and love it right back.

---

I alluded to a lot of ideas brought up in a couple metas I've read the past few days in this rant so I'll tag 'em here:

@whenmemorydies "system" works

@habaritess "I like this" was a confession

@yannaryartside "why Sydney is the bear..."

[smoulderingocean]

Ultimately the message of this show is June never actually loved Nick. She used him until he had no use to her anymore and then she brutally murdered him for making the same kind of self-preserving choice she has made before. That’s not love, that’s sociopathic behaviour and hypocrisy. June is a horrible, horrible, horrible person.

What a disgusting thing to write, truly. I'm so angry that rich, white Lawrence, who is responsible for the creation of the Colonies and deaths of millions of people, gets redeemed. That rich, white Serena, who created the whole country, who violently raped and abused multiple people, who only feels sorry for herself and June, and is responsible for the deaths of millions, is redeemed and forgiven by June. That wealthy, white Aunt Lydia, who brutalized, maimed, and abused countless women, is redeemed. That upper middle class, white June, who abuses and manipulates and uses people, leaving a trail of bodies behind her, many of them people of colour, gets to be a hero. But Nick, who is a person of colour, from an impoverished background, and a survivor of childhood abuse, is demonized and dumped all over. Like my god, this show is breathtakingly racist and classist and just awful.

June is a bad mother for murdering Nick, full stop. Like imagine down the line when they talk about how he died, the convo will be something like: "Hey, Holly, baby, sweetheart, I murdered your first Daddy because he made a choice to not die for a bunch of random women and then he had a mental breakdown after I abandoned him, just like everyone else in his life did." Like what the fuck??? Hopefully that sweet girl eventually cuts off her horrible mother for good and connects with Hannah and her yet to be born sibling from Nick, and doesn't look back.

I never for one moment entertained the idea of June killing Nick because that’s the kind of shock value thought up by media illiterate trolls on Reddit. To think that this show, the show that wrote the most feminist sex scene ever, had the oppressed teaming up together to rescue a baby, and killed a rapist in the way they deserved to die, destroyed Nick and Osblaine like they just did is appalling.

[deerdoegone]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝄞 some geeky. some from the mid 2000s. some i'm obsessed with. town names are abbreviated.

my waiting room : not much to say about her aside from the two facts that she's where i'd like to permashift to and stay the rest of that aaliyah's life. has been refurnished—heavily inspired by the pink palace apartments from coraline with subtleties of 2000s mcbling meets himegal interview and harajuku (2018). dolly decor and things you'd find in the bedroom of 2008 socialite who was a victim of the bling ring. shared with my loser boyfriend, tomas vrbada who doubled as a childhood static screen crush when i was concerning(ly) young playing mortal kombat nine.

wstpt, new hampshire : east coast vampires in a fictional college town, inspired by twilight, life is strange one, the vampire diaries, and more. embodies late 2000s to early 2010s with emo and indie-twee influences. this reality is of my own, but was HEAVILY inspired by a non-shifting user, so all credit to her and her original work. meet aaliyah doe. my trip to "regular" westport, basically if it was non-horror.

mrcv, california : 2008 ranchos palos verdes inspired coastal city known for it’s mermaid motifs and middle - upper class residents with tons of tourists for the summer and fall months, all trying to catch a real mermaid every year. cliffside homes and country clubs with new york socialites a long way from home. meet aaliyah pearle.

fame, director and screenwriter : hollywood but i wanna pursue my desire to create. first big film around 2011 at age twenty-one. cult following similar to sofia coppola but not in the lana del rey tumblr girl way. be Normal. inspired by david lynch, sofia coppola, jordan peele, and catherine hardwicke. affinity for psychological horror and supernatural. introduction soon.

fame, actress : hollywood but i wanna pursue my desire to bring creations to life. first breakout role in 2009 at eighteen, probably stole the role of jennifer check. idolized by all, sweetest experiences with fans and peers. starts around 2010, can you tell i love 2000s and 2010s media and culture? paris hilton presentation with fluttershy notes. introduction soon.

fame, youtuber / streamer : dolly aesthetic before it was cool. sorta. entirely decked out in pink, starts around 2019. does a bit of everything? get ready, gaming, makeup, come file my taxes with me so the irs doesn't take my home. bit of everything like i said. introduction soon.

movie, challengers : still building this reality don't ask questions or i'll shake like an anxious sick old dog (jk just ask and i'll answer as best as i can) introduction soon.

television, common law : the final boss against my craving for old bad but fun television. homicide detective. detective work has never looked so trendy. back when beige and brown were the sexiest colors. dark honey blonde hair with platinum highlights that blends into my skin color. bangles and hoops. break room coffee and dollar store cinnamon vanilla perfume. introduction soon.

television, house m.d. : diagnostics team. if a cool teenage girl was also a distant unwell aunt. crushed on a married man. hates the australian. kinda. deserves as many smoke breaks as she wants. attachment to her oncology chew toy. scarily good at roulette and blackjack but shit at poker. introduction soon.

television, my babysitter's a vampire : had this reality before i even knew what shifting was at 14. crazy. haven't tried to shift here but adding it because it is special to me. somewhere between awkward youngest daughter in her human family and the average guilt-ridden white chapel vampire or witch. haven't decided. undead couture. something akin to hannah washington and jessica riley. introduction soon.

video games, life is strange one : indie sleeze before it was uncool. fashion designer with runway model intentions. evie zamora's closet. tragic backstory covered by extroverted party girl persona. haunts the narrative in before the storm. sortakindanotreally friendship with victoria chase. facebook icon. good student and liked by teachers. rachel amber kind of popularity. gossipy. can make really good pancakes, like i'm talking mouth melting, my god. introduction soon.

video games, watch dogs two : ummm pretty hacker girl this reality is very new still but ask questions and i'll answer as best i can!!!! introduction soon.

[lesb0]

Looking forward to your statement on white women voting Trump.

52%. It's pathetic. white (and white passing) women fail feminists over and over again because they're the same as the deluded middle class who believe they are just "temporarily embarrassed millionaires" right?

white women who are completely allegiant to the patriarchy tell themselves, if I'm the obedient lapdog of men, then at least I get a seat under the table. And they do!

These are intelligent, educated, upper class women who actively choose to be a housewife maid sex servant etc to men instead of getting a life because they believe being enslaved is literally easier than making a career. and they want to make that disgusting thinly veiled bdsm lifestyle choice for every other woman, too. listen to what "tradwives" and mormons and the offshoot polysexuals are blatantly openly telling everyone online.

Servants of the patriarchy are just losers, they will never be allied with women. AND as real feminists, it is our job to take them in when they come in with a black eye (and crawl right back under his table when they feel better).

[enlitment]

Hi my name is Jean-Jacques Rousseau and I have a pretty foot, a fine leg, an easy manner, lively features, a pretty little mouth, black hair and eyebrows and sunken eyes which, however, dart vigorously when my blood is kindled. A lot of people tell me I look like Lucius Junius Brutus (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!).

I'm not related to Mme de Warens but I wish I was because I want her to be my mommy. I'm a vampire because I seem to suck the energy of every person I interact with. I have pale white skin. I'm also a philosopher, and I live in the debauched city of Paris in France.

I embrace the rustic aesthetic (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love simple cloth merchants and buy most of my clothes from them. For example today I was wearing a simple white shirt Thérèse mended for me with a black coat and a red velvet ribbon which I stole and blamed it on someone else.

It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I attributed to the sinfulness of the Parisian upper classes. Voltaire, Hume and some Encyclopédistes stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

[nachobsns]

anyway i have to give a presentation for my ap gov final tomorrow which originally was just going to be about the effect of conspiracy theories on political activity (think qanon, jan 6 etc) but i ended up putting it off until tonight, predictable because i'm 17 with roblox on my phone and haven't taken my adhd meds for a long time, but it means i have much more liberty to change the premise last-minute and considering the horrifying news out of colorado today i think i am going to adapt it to cover the overlap of conspiracy theories with antisemitism and the pipeline to like. radical extremism. it probably won't go over especially well with my classmates because Room Full Of Sheltered White Upper Middle Class Teenagers From An Overwhelmingly Liberal Small Town Has Exactly The Opinions On Israel/Palestine That You Might Expect, but the teacher at least worked in israel for several years as a part of her thesis so i know worst comes to worst she will back me up and also? we are literally 5 days from the end of the year i'm scared but so is like every jewish person in the world right now so i am choosing not to give a shit about what my classmates think. wish me luck

[kalinara]

So I don't generally talk about Charles Xavier with regard to his disability, because as a person without physical disability, I don't really think I can examine it with the nuance that it deserves.

That and I'm a bit of a chickenshit. There is an opinion I have with regards to Charles's disability specifically that I think is possibly quite ableist. But it might be worth talking about anyway.

This is the opinion: I think if Charles Xavier wasn't disabled, he might never have recruited Scott Summers.

The others, yes. I think he'd have recruited them. They're all fresh faced, young, middle to upper-middle class (except Warren of course) non-threatening white kids.

They have powers that are either passive (wings/super agility) or very controllable. (Bobby's ice, Jean's telekinesis.) And they're all likable, personable kids with a lot of charm.

They're the perfect model mutant example to get humans used to the idea that mutants can be friendly and approachable and heroic.

And then you have Scott.

Scott has some of the traits that the others have. He's attractive and white. He's also a former street kid, a runaway orphan, whose powers erupt out of control as soon as he loses his glasses. And that happens a LOT. He's anxious, hyper-focused, and militant. The opposite of unthreatening.

To his credit, I do think Xavier has always wanted to help this kid. And there's a lot to say that Xavier sees a lot of himself in Scott and in his issues.

But one thing I've always noticed is that, in each AU I know of where Xavier and Magneto found the X-Men together, Scott is never on that team. He's always with Mr. Sinister.

Admittedly, in the universe where Xavier died early, Scott's there too. The conclusion I've always drawn from this is that without Xavier, Scott either never escapes from Jack Winters at all and is reclaimed by Sinister later, or ends up escaping back TO Sinister with nowhere else to go.

I don't think this is Xavier's fault, just to clarify. It's just that, in universes where he has Magneto right there to use his physical and tactical expertise, Xavier doesn't have to go looking. He doesn't necessarily have to work with Fred Duncan, or investigate Jack Winters, and he and Scott never end up crossing paths.

I tend to think the same would be true if Xavier had never been injured. I don't, I admit, tend to think of Xavier as a fighter. But he does have military service and he has a power that, while not directly destructive, definitely has as much, if not more, combat applicability as say, Hank or Warren's power.

Of course, if you think about it, there's nothing that really keeps 60s era Xavier from using those powers in battle anyway. But a very common theme in those comics is that Charles Xavier has some issues with how he sees himself and his disability. And it's pretty clear that he hasn't really accepted it, nor taken many steps to address it in a long term fashion.

I mean, look at the mansion. It doesn't seem incredibly wheelchair accessible. Look at how the kids behave with him. Of course, some of that is simply because the comics were written in the 60s. But still, you'd think, at some point, Xavier would tell them to knock it the fuck off. They're clueless ignorant kids, but they're not malicious. I think they'd stop if they understood that they were being ableist twits.

We all like to talk about that monologue where he confesses feelings for Jean, but it's also fair to point out that Xavier doesn't feel like he deserves to act on his feelings because of his disability. (One could wish that he knew that it'd be inappropriate to date a student at all, but well, this is a plot point that didn't update well.)

So then we have Scott, who is isolated by his own condition, much like Xavier feels isolated by his. Scott's of course is a much more fantastic take on a disability than Xavier's more realistic one. But there is a common ground. And I think, in some ways, young Xavier treats young Scott as a sort of surrogate for himself. He leads, because Xavier doesn't believe he can. He has the romance with Jean that Xavier doesn't believe he's worthy of. And so on and so forth.

I find myself wondering what that relationship dynamic would look like if Xavier didn't have those issues, or the underlying factor that inspires them.. And then I wonder if, like when Magneto is on the scene, Xavier might not have ever sought Scott out at all.

[max1461]

There are lots of people in the West to whom Western chauvinism is appealing, for a variety of reasons. And it is, in particular, I think, a more seductive ideology than racism sensu stricto for the kind of educated, upper middle class people who end up playing important decision-making roles in society. Not that plenty of them aren't racist sensu stricto as well. I'm just saying, I think one of these things has more persuasive power. These are people on whom "you can't say that, it's racist" simply does not work in a substantive way. They might outwardly display deference, but inwardly you haven't really changed their mind. They still feel that The West Is The Best, Screw (Or, Paternalistically Enlighten) All The Rest. And you should want to change their mind, because like it or not, per above, they are the stratum of society that is going to end up in decision-making roles and if they all think The West Is The Best they are going to make decisions based on The West Is The Best.

Uh, right, ok. There's a lot of defeatism on the left about the general project of convincing people of things; supposedly people's views are wholly predetermined by their material interests and nobody can ever be convinced of anything. Westerners will always think The West Is The Best because it benefits them to do so.

Well, needless to say I think this is wrong. People can indeed be convinced of things, especially on the margins; cf. gay rights as an example of a political battle that has been very successfully fought in the court of public opinion. Obviously not every political battle is perfectly analogous to this, you're not gonna be able to convince Washington people to dismantle American empire or something through words, but on the margin public opinion does matter. And, ok: real public opinion matters. Not just what people say in polite company, what they really feel in their heart of hearts. In my estimation, a lot more people are LGBT allies now, really, in their heart of hearts, than was the case in 1990 or 1960. That matters! But the deal is, I think, that a huge contingent of people are either nominally or genuinely anti-racist sensu stricto, but in their heart of hearts are still basically Western chauvinists. And that effects policy and culture, and I think you can't fix it by saying "that's racist, you can't say it". It will not work. I think rational argument is generally not sufficient to convince people of things, but it is often necessary, and in combination with the right rhetoric and social circumstances, rational argument does in fact often change people's minds (in my experience).

So, the thing is, I think there are a whole lot of good arguments against Western chauvinism, I think Western chauvinist attitudes are in fact not justified. I think we do not have to dance around this and play word games, because our opponents are actually wrong and we can tell them why they are wrong. Not everyone has to be in this business, but I am in this business, on my blog. I think it's important that arguments, not just opposition but arguments on this point actually be out there. Which is the origin of my much maligned habit of, basically, engaging with racists. I mean not that white nationalist anon; engaging with him is purely an unhealthy and probably-harmful-to-the-psychae-of-my-readers thing so I've tried to stop doing that. But, no, the exact kind of people I'm talking about here. The kind of people who become engineers and technocrats, and do not think of themselves as racist but hold these Western chauvinist views implicitly. I think it is important that they have at least seen someone, somewhere, arguing on their terms, in their language (this is the deal about rhetoric, remember) that maybe the West is not so uniquely enlightened as they suppose.

I think, based on my intuitive barometer for The Discourse, that my constant posting on this and related points has substantively changed the tone of the discussion around these issues on this part of tumblr, which, yeah, is I think something. It's really a thing. Uh. I'm not going to stop doing this because it demonstrably works, I think. I think I'm just empirically seeing the whole "don't even engage" philosophy be incorrect. You don't have to engage, but it is quite useful for someone to be engaging.

The people I'm talking about, well, they're people who often take a lot of pride in their intelligence, their ability to know stuff and be correct, etc. etc. And I have found that it actually does work to be like "look, I think you are wrong on points X, Y, and Z, I think you are factually wrong, and here is an explanation of how". When you start telling these people that they are wrong, they listen! Being right matters to them, like, personally and culturally, and so a very basic grasp of communication and rhetoric says this is the issue on which you should be engaging. Uh, that makes it sound like I think caring about being factually correct is a bad thing. No, I care about it too! It's a good thing to care about!

Right, I don't know where I'm going with this.

[jabberwockypie]

I have beef with a lady in my roommate's Weaver's Guild, and I am absolutely never allowed to meet this woman.

Apparently it's totally fine that "everything is crumbling" (her words)* because she's like totally a Buddhist** and it means we're entering our next cycle where everything's totally going to be better really soon.***

This had the effect of making me perk up like a dog who has heard the UPS man and go "CULT! That's cult shit! Cult!"

*I would like to stress that this is an upper-middle class white lady in I believe her 50s. SHE'S going to be fine.

**This should be understood to mean New Age-y yoga cult scam "Buddhist". It also mostly sounds like an excuse for why you don't have to actually do anything to try to improve the world or enact change.

***Not how Buddhism works!

I also don't like her for other reasons - she's been a dick to Other Roommate about other things - but Lynati agrees with me that I'm not allowed to meet this woman.

[karmacharmeleon18]

I've seen you talk about Kevin and other things (I totally agree, and I love your analysis). I'd like to know what you think about Jeremy and your analysis of him and Jean (I love them).

By the way, I get the impression that Leo and Kevin are a "parallel" in terms of men that Jean and Jeremy will overcome to be together. Leo sold Jeremy for a car (a means of transporting him wherever he wants, something for his freedom). We can understand that Kevin "sold" (or rather, sacrificed) Jean to gain his freedom as well. It wasn't a sellout per se, but yes, I think there's a parallel here.

Jeremy and Jean have been betrayed by people they loved. And yet, they've continued to acquiesce, to a certain extent, in their continued mistreatment. Kevin would undoubtedly "sell" Jean again to escape as well (even if the fandom doesn't want to see it).

What are your thoughts on this?

I think that, at the same time that Jeremy tells Leo to fuck off, Jean will tell Kevin to fuck off (I don't think these two will still be in touch when this is all over, I'm pretty sure of it).

Omg I’m so sorry I didn’t answer sooner but I didn’t get a notification 😭 now I’m logged on my laptop and making my way through all the stuff the app didn’t show me and this is 5 DAYS OLD??????? I’m so sorry and thank you for your patience!

I’m going to split this into sections because my brain feels fried tonight and I need some order lol

Jeremy

Jeremy Knox (Moreu🤞🏾) my beloved ❤

I adore Jeremy, I would kill for Jeremy, I would die for Jeremy, I would live for Jeremy (I am secretly Jean Moreau)

But! I don't talk much about him because there's just so. much. we. don't. know. He is so sunny and yet so closed-off, his family is so big, so complicated

What do you mean we don't even know what Joshua's text said?

What do mean we don’t even know when his parents got divorced exactly and his family started unraveling?

What do you mean all the sex scenes are fade-to-black and barely described because Jeremy might be disassociating the whole time?

What do you mean he might be suicidal but we only got one throwaway half-sentence about it?

Figuring out one Jeremy Knox is hard as shit

So for the most part, I just go along with Jean's opinion of him lol the more their relationship develops, the more they interact, the more I see Jeremy

And not because Jeremy only exists as part of JereJean, but because Jeremy is just so inscrutable on his own

So I collect every little tidbit, every little clue, every morsel like a little raccoon from Jean's POV (which includes Cody's and Cat's and Laila's words and opinions on Jeremy) to try and figure him out

Like Cody saying that you did not want to cross freshman (on drugs) Jeremy

Was it because he was on drugs? Or was Jeremy always a bit of an asshole, and the drugs just accentuated that?

Realistically, Jeremy grew up as a rich white boy in 2000s White Supremacy Land (🦅🦅🦅). It makes sense that even before the drugs, he was probably the classic stereotype of a rich kid: arrogant, carefree, fucking around (literally) and finding out without a care in the world because he knew he always had a comfortable cushion to fall back on if things went sideways

We don’t know exactly when Mathilda married into the Wilshire family, but I assume Jeremy was in middle school? Start of high school? But even before that, Mathilda is a doctor, and considering how snobbish she is, she probably comes from a good upper-middle class if not rich rich family herself, her mother was a popular actress (though that can mean everything and nothing, because in the past being a famous female lead wasn't necessarily enough to make you super rich)

(It would be so interesting to see what compelled her to marry a military man and have 5 kids with him… a bout of teenage rebellion? Or were they high school sweethearts and then he decided to join the Army? Or maybe she does not come from money, actually, and only after she got a taste of what life with money could be like she decided to move on from him)

As a teen Jeremy wasn’t particularly guarded with his sexuality, to the point that most people in high school knew he was gay in early 2000s USA. Was it because he knew the power of the Wilshire family? That one donation would make any scandal go away? That no one would dare lay a hand against him, no matter how strong their bigotry?

Teen Jeremy clung to the Knox name, to the idea of their family, but he still undoubtedly benefited from being associated with the Wilshires. And still does, considering it was only thanks to a 7 figure donation to USC that part of the banquet scandal was covered up, ensuring that he could still be a Trojan, which led up to the story as it is today, with him being the captain of the team

Jeremy has a lot of privilege. And it comes at a very high price: his freedom

This is what drives me insane about Jeremy and Jean, outwardly they couldn’t be more different as people, and yet their circumstances and their darkest thoughts about themselves are so similar

They are so similar afhabkadjsbfasj

Really cute and fitting art by @bananakeiky that encapsulates JereJean, their very different personalities and dispositions and yet very similar views of themselves:

I love these two oblivious idiots so so so soooo much 😭🥹

I’m convinced that Jeremy is the best possible person for Jean. And Jean is the best possible person for Jeremy.

Cat, Laila, the floozies, Rhemann are all great people for Jeremy and Jean

But Jeremy and Jean can understand each other in a way no one else can

In Jeremy, Jean sees someone who went through neglect, trauma, grief and still came out of it so openly, undeniably, proudly kind

In Jean, Jeremy found someone that will not flinch away from the darkest parts of him, that will understand and reciprocate that kindness in a way no one else can

(Jean will treat you so right, Jeremy, just you wait)

Jeremy’s “sex addiction”

In a previous pots I mentioned how Jeremy uses hookups as a substitute for drugs: Jeremy has a personality that is prone to addictions and even before the drugs, he enjoyed hookups as a teenager; then his attention was almost fully taken up by the pills and the cocaine, and once that was removed, back he went to old habits, only worse

So, so, so much worse

Because if before sex was fun, now it’s a way for Jeremy to hurt himself

imo Jeremy is not addicted to sex because of the pleasure

(and atp I don’t even know if most people would consider it a sex addiction at all then? but bear with me)

Jeremy enjoys casual sex because his hookups treat him in the exact way he believes he deserves to be treated

Jeremy believes he deserves to be treated like shit

And sure, his family also treats him like shit, but that’s only half of the equation

The other half is that with his hookups Jeremy gets to feel useful, he gets to feel like he has a purpose, a positive impact on someone else on an intimate level

(I think this is why Nora called him a service top, he believes he can’t be anything else, he can’t take pleasure, he only deserves to give it)

The Wilshires consider him good for nothing, but for his hookups he’s good at one thing at least

(he’s still not good enough to be treated kindly, to be romanced, to be loved, and that’s ok because he doesn’t deserve that anyway, right?)

His hookups always happen after moments of emotional turmoil for Jeremy, and they’re all fade-to-black

This might just be because Nora doesn’t care to describe sex that isn’t JereJean… but it might also be because Jeremy straight up disassociates the whole time??????

And maybe THAT is what he’s addicted to??????

Before: sex is fun!

Now: when I have sex, only the other person matters, I can stop thinking, I can stop existing as Jeremy Knox

Cocaine can make you feel unstoppable, invincible, and for a teenager that feels like he’ll never be enough for his parents, that is incredibly addicting

But for current Jeremy? The Jeremy that feels responsible for his little brother’s death? He doesn’t deserve to feel unstoppable and invincible, he deserves to feel like nothing, like he doesn’t even exist

The disassociation is the addiction

(of course this is mostly speculation, because Jeremy is just too inscrutable to me ����)

I would love, absolutely LOVE for Jeremy to tell Leo (and Faser, and every other hookup) to fuck off and rot, you piece of shit. I would love a good verbal evisceration and maybe a right hook 👊💥

But do I expect it? Not really 😂

Because for Jeremy it’s just so important to not be that type of person

It’s like the Trojans never getting a red card in 4 years and then headcanoning that they get one to protect Jean, you know?

The Trojans just don’t want to be that type of team

And while I believe that some of the Trojans behave this way out of self-righteousness, it’s not the case for Jeremy

In the beginning, Jeremy’s behavior came from an unhealthy place, his belief that being the perfect captain and sportsmanlike athlete is the only thing that can make up for the fact that he is Jeremy

But now, I think Jeremy truly appreciates the effect that good sportsmanship can have on people, the type of example he is setting for younger athletes, for queer athletes: you can be one of the best without having to resort to violence, to cheap shots; people will hate you and put you down but you will never stay down, and the people that count will support and admire you

Jeremy has discovered kindness and he’s never going back

Jeremy is not the type of person to treat others unkindly not because he is perfect, not because he is uwu my little blorbo too pure for this world

But because he very much doesn’t want to be that type of person

It’s so important for him that he is not.

So I have to put all my wishes of glorious, violent vindication aside and respect that this is Jeremy, you know?

Maybe Nora will surprise us, maybe she will give us a Jeremy spitting venom at his tormentors and punching an asshole or two in the face

But if she doesn’t, that’s ok, that makes sense

Learning to stand up for yourself doesn't necessarily mean learning to be less kind

Kevin and Leo might be parallels in the way Jean and Jeremy simply walk away from them in the end (together, holding hands)

.

Kevin

I know some people in the fandom see Kevin as some sort of super-ally-mastermind but I don’t think he could have ever predicted the bond Jean and Jeremy formed. Kevin just saw a kind man nicknamed Captain Sunshine and decided that if someone had a chance to take in a stray Raven and turn him into a human, it was him. The fact that Jeremy is gay and the Trojans the quuerest college team in the country is not a coincidence, I do think Kevin was looking out for Jean in some way, but there’s no way Kevin could have predicted JereJean. Kevin barely sees Jean as a person. He sees him as a Raven, only worse, because other Ravens were assets, while Jean was property and treated as such. Kevin saw Jean being treated like an animal, year after year, and saw the fight slowly bleed out of him, year after year

I don’t think he started seeing Jean as a full-fledged person until he saw him in California. And not because Kevin is as evil as Riko. But simply because Kevin witnessed almost all traces of humanity being stripped from Jean

In general, this is one of Kevin’s problems in my opinion: because of his upbringing and trauma, Kevin sees those around him as athletes first, them being people is secondary

Which is why he ignored all the abuse happening in the Nest, not only the cruelty directed at Jean. The Ravens were dominating as athletes, and that’s all Kevin cared about. And he’s the same with the Foxes, they matter to him as athletes, not as people

I’m gonna borrow something I wrote in my first Kevin analysis:

“But where Kevin is hellbent on making everyone around him miserable, because his whole life he’s been convinced that greatness is born from misery, Neil wants to make everyone around him better for the sake of being better.

Better Exy players, but better people, too. Neil understands you can’t have one without the other. But Kevin is so single-mindedly focused on Exy that he doesn’t care about the people, he only cares about the athletes.”

So even removed from the context of the Nest/cult/abuse, Kevin has a problem relating with other people as people

He is aware that they are people, it just doesn’t matter to him

But with Jean, I’m not sure he thought of him as a person for a long time

Strip a Fox of the athlete, and you’ll find a damaged person

Strip Jean of the athlete, and you’ll find a beaten animal

(I’m not saying it’s Kevin’s fault, that Kevin is the antichrist or Riko’s “other half”, I’m saying that Kevin was abused by a cult and his vision of life and humanity was warped to such a dramatic extent that he genuinely struggles with making human connections, and it’s the same issue the other Ravens have, and they, too, don’t see Jean as a person, but as an object to be passed around, a creature to abuse)

I think that, in his own way, Kevin does care for Jean. Just not enough.

He cared about Jean… but he still asked Jean to teach him French, knowing full well Jean’s punishment if found out would be terrible. He still gave Jean articles about the Trojans with pictures of Jeremy in them, knowing full well that Riko would make Jean bleed almost to death if he discovered him, because queers don’t belong on his Court, and what else could you possibly be doing with articles about Knox and his team when you can barely read English?

This is what I dislike the most about Kevin. He never thinks about the consequences. Because he doesn’t care. As long as the consequences don’t affect him directly, he doesn’t care

Kevin sees most people as existing for him

(not in the same way as Riko did, who fully believed he owned others; Kevin was simply taught that everyone has a role at Evermore, and Kevin’s is to be one of the best, top of the food chain, and everyone else has do his bidding and take insult after insult from him; he keeps this same behavior with the Foxes and with Jean, this is what we – Kevin critics – mean when we say that Kevin constantly pulls rank: he gives orders and throws insults because he believes it’s his right to do so)

Kevin wanted a friend in the Nest, and here comes this terrified young boy that will cling to anyone that shows him an ounce of gentleness. So Kevin gets a friend, and gets to learn a language they can gossip in that no one else understands, and gets to talk about the Trojans as much as he wants and if Riko finds out, who is he most likely to focus all his wrath on, his brother or the queer foreign boy?

Let me repeat again that Kevin is a victim. Like Thea. Like every Raven. Like Riko.

So why do I dislike him so much? Again, because consequences. All Kevin needs to do to survive the Nest is believe in the Master. He doesn’t need French lessons, he doesn’t need to share articles about the Trojans. He doesn’t need a friend who is Riko’s property

But Kevin still wants all those things and gets them, because fuck what the consequences are for Jean, and that’s what I have an issue with

And then, in that first year in the Nest, their friendships dies, because too much happens between them, too much violence (against Jean), too much abuse (against Jean), too much torture (against Jean), and Jean had to give and give and give to Riko and the Master already, he couldn’t also give to Kevin all that Kevin wanted. Because as I’ve said before, Kevin is a taker, he takes your time and attention and your knowledge of another language and your passion for another team, and in exchange he turns the other way as you get tortured

(not that he could do anything about it, but imagine being Jean and the guy you idolize just wants to use you for what benefits you can bring him)

And if that’s not enough, when Riko breaks his hand, Kevin uses that old, long-dead friendship against Jean to convince him to distract Riko as he makes his escape

“If you were ever friends with me, get him out of my room.”

And Jean does

And Kevin escapes

And Jean almost gets killed by Riko for it

And in TSC we get a moment that is very important but easily forgotten: when Jean is staying at Abby’s and Kevin visits him, Jean sees bottomless guilt in his eyes

That’s something, right?

I do think Kevin and Leo are parallels, but still, I would not compare them beyond a surface-level assessment, beyond the guy uses you when he can benefit from it, but doesn’t care for you the rest of the time

Yes, on the surface Kevin and Leo are both the subjects of misplaced, ill-advised affection, they are untrustworthy, selfish and would 100% do it again

But Leo is just a rich kid, a privileged asshole, someone who could make so many different choices and yet he always chooses to hurt Jeremy

Kevin never had much of a choice. He was in a cult. Yes, he was treated like a little god, a prince of the court always serving his King by most of the people at Evermore. But he was still abused by the Master like every other Raven. And he was still stuck with Riko

In the beginning their relationship wasn’t too terrible, in a world of abuse, they clung to each other. Kevin hated Riko like he hated nobody else, but he also loved Riko like he loved nobody else. He arrived at the Nest as a kid, after losing his mother, his entire world. He needed something, someone to cling to or he would lose his mind with grief and never survive the Master’s abusive tactics. And this is what cults do, no one is safe because they know how to take advantage of your grief, how to make sure you fall into their clutches when you’re at your weakest (and in Kevin’s and Jean’s case, they orchestrated the conditions for such grief to happen in the first place, by killing Kayleigh and convincing the Moreaus into trafficking their son). Pretty soon he started to believe the Master’s teachings, that he belonged by Riko’s side, his perpetual second, his submissive adoptive brother. He accepted that, convinced himself of it. To survive. And he was content with his life, with the bright future he had ahead of him if only he could endure and ignore what was happening around him

But then the Master gave Jean to Riko, and Riko got a taste of absolute power over another person, and impunity, and he slowly started descending into madness. That was always his fate, with all the pressure the Master put on him, and all the disappointment of being a spare Moriyama, but I believe that Jean was the catalyst for the Riko-madness speedrun.

Maybe Riko would have shattered Kevin’s hand in every universe; maybe that was the inevitable ending, because Riko is Riko, and Kevin is Kevin, and once Thea puts it in Kevin’s mind that he is better than the King, he inevitably, in every universe, starts testing the limits, pushing boundaries; and in every universe the Master notices his talent and decides to pit them against each other to determine who’s the rightful King

Or maybe Riko only shatters Kevin’s hand in this universe, the universe where Jean was his property, where he became addicted to having absolute power over someone else and torturing those who were already down

Which would mean that without Jean, without all the horrible things he endured in the Nest, in this universe Kevin could never be free

Kevin’s freedom comes at Jean’s expense, not only on that terrible day, but from the moment Jean was born

And isn’t that a terrible thought?

(and also… the only reason Kevin manages to escape is that Jean is kind, that one mention of their dead friendship is enough to convince Jean to distract the monster, and isn’t that also terrible? That Jean’s kindness was almost his demise? … but then, Renee realizes Jean is dying because Jean decides that his last coherent action in his existence is to text her to thank her, so Jean’s kindness is also what saves him and I-- askgfsjfgshafkjb)

Anyway, Kevin didn’t have much of a choice. I am angry that he left Jean to die, took advantage of Jean’s gentle nature and trapped him into distracting Riko. If Riko was angry before, he was absolutely furious once he realized Jean helped Kevin escape (albeit unknowingly)

And I’m angry about the French lessons and the Trojan articles, and all the instances where Jean would be brutally punished if found out while Kevin could just shrug the whole incident off, just like he shrugs off the fact that Jean was raped several times. I’m boiling with rage

But I also understand that Kevin was an abused teenager who grew up in a cult. He was desperate to have a friend in the Nest. And then he was desperate to escape

And Jean knows that:

Jean never expected Kevin to protect him. Jean never expects anyone to protect him. Zane only does so in exchange for a spot on the Perfect Court, and even he would never dare contradict Riko. Yes, Kevin had some sway with Riko, Riko did love him in his own way, but at the end of the day, Riko is a Moriyama, and Kevin is not (and even as a Moriyama, your value depends entirely on your date of birth). By normal standards, their dynamic is less of brothers and more of master and pet (Nora verbatim calls Kevin Riko’s pet in the extra content). You love your pets, you indulge them when it costs you nothing (history classes) but if you’re an abusive piece of shit, you will also always put them back in their place whenever they overstep

And remember when Neil was in the Nest? Jean was his partner, and yet he couldn’t protect him from Riko’s violence. Didn’t even try. All he could do was patch him up and beg him to behave

Jean never expected Kevin’s help. That’s how things work in the Nest

Jean would’ve slashed Kevin’s tires to prevent his escape. Not as a way to avoid Riko’s wrath. But because he knew that with a broken hand Kevin would only last a couple of months in the Nest before killing himself. And at that point Jean would be free to follow.

For Jean, Kevin’s worst slight against him was not leaving him in the Nest to die

It was keeping him out of it to live

Don’t get me wrong, a part of Jean will always suffer because of Kevin’s betrayal, and I do think that a part of him wants Kevin to die for reasons unrelated to their promise, purely because he wants to be free from Kevin Day, because Kevin Day represents everything that was done to him in the Nest

For a couple of years, Kevin symbolized a reprieve in the midst of a nightmare

But now?

Now that Jean is living in the light of the California sun, Kevin symbolizes the fear, the anger, the powerlessness Jean felt in those awful years at Evermore

Kevin went from being a dream within a nightmare, to part of the nightmare itself

Following him all the way to California

One look too close at Kevin, and Jean is transported back to all the painful punishments he incurred because of Kevin

(directly - the French lessons, Kevin's escape - and indirectly - Riko realizing Jean is queer and deciding to torture the queerness out of him)

That’s why I keep bringing up Jean's reaction to close contact with Kevin, so strong, so visceral that Jeremy is perplexed by it:

This goes beyond the internalized homophobia of: "oh, shit, I was attracted to a guy", or the reminder that "oh, shit, I was attracted to this guy"

This is the horror of someone who's awaiting punishment, who's feeling breath on the back of his neck and blades against his skin. Jean might even be experiencing a proper flashback of all the painful things he's had to bear because of "this guy"

Jeremy is not jealous in that moment. He is perplexed. Concerned. Because Jean was spiraling and he didn't understand why

So what can Jean do now?

I know we all want vindication for Jean. We all want an epic badass moment where Jean punches Kevin in the face and tells him to fuck off. We all want Kevin begging for forgiveness on his knees (as if!)

But deep down, all I want is for Jean to feel indifferent

He deserves to be relieved of all the powerfully negative feelings Kevin elicits in him

I want Jean to be free

Free of every ghost belonging to the Nest... and Kevin is one of them

And sure, one could feel liberated after punching someone in the face lol

But violence is the Ravens' way

The best possible thing Nora can do for Jean, is have him walk away from Kevin

That's the closure he deserves

And I don't mean forever, before I get attacked again by Kevin stans. But right now Jean hates Kevin, and I want him to stop feeling such negative emotions and focus on himself, and all the positivity around him

Jean "getting over Kevin" doesn't necessarily mean shutting Kevin out of his life completely

But right now I do think it’s necessary, Jean simply cannot heal with Kevin around, because Kevin is still a Raven at heart:

In a few years I can see them having the same relationship they have right now (barely interacting, but being mostly civil with each other when they have to), minus the hatred and violence simmering right under the surface

One day they could even have the same type of rapport Kevin has with Jeremy at the moment, of long-distance approval, maybe even admiration

They could, potentially, become friendly in the future

(I don't know about proper friends, though: Nora said Kevin's behavior forever destroyed any chance at a friendship with Jean, that at the moment Kevin doesn't have any friends, and it'll take him years, well into his pro career, to create genuine bonds with Neil, Andrew, Jeremy, even Thea, despite her being the closest person to him right now - and that says a lot, too)

But right now I just want Jean to be free

And the same goes for Jeremy, and it goes far beyond Leo, he is a stand-in for the Wilshires, and that is Jeremy’s main issue

Jeremy and Jean feel so much

That the best type of vindication can only come from them not feeling anything anymore for the people that hurt them

Jean needs to walk away from Kevin to heal, and Jeremy needs to walk away from Leo, the hookups and the Whilshires to heal

In a way, Jean is in a better, more promising situation than Jeremy. Because Jean is far away from the Nest, and has minimal contact with Kevin. But Jeremy is forced to see his family every day, and forces himself to see Leo because hookups are the only thing he can control at the moment

Boy, oh, boy, Jeremy is about to break

And Jean will be there to hold him together

And maybe at the end of it all they will finally start living

(I'm not sure my heart can take it 🥹 I'm not ready for Book 3 but at the same time I am SAT)