#is this allowed to be called harassment considering the number of posts I already made on this topic? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

albycnyu · 1 month ago

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In light of recent events, I decided to make what'll be my final post about KUREHA3D/kureha3d/bykureha and their friends. This took me some time to do since I was at a point in my life where I had forgotten most of the incident; so in order to be as accurate as possible, I had to look back on things to help jog my memory and it was a lil exhausting. It's why, after this, I won't be discussing this matter at length again because there's nothing else I can say that hasn't already been said and/or shown in 2024. This also means that more than likely I won't be answering any questions however, should I consider it, the rules from my previous post still apply to this one: please be respectful and do not engage in any form of bullying and/or harassment towards me, Kureha, their friends, supporters, mutuals, etc.

Disclaimer: While this post will only be addressing the allegations Kureha made about me this year, I have to discuss what occurred in 2024 to provide context. With the exception of their friends (and a certain individual), I've blurred out names because I know (and wanna believe) that not everyone's aware of everything and're simply relying on what Kureha said at face value which (again) I don't blame them for because (again) why would Kureha lie... right?

I've added alt-text to some of the TikTok screenshots that were provided to me as well because they're difficult to read.

With that outta the way, lemme begin.

In March 2025, Kureha made allegations about me on both TikTok and Twitter which were brought to my attention almost a week later; if I remember correctly, the TikTok post was made on the 15th, the tweets were made on the 18th, and I was made aware of this on the 21st or 22nd.

These posts read as followed:

[ALT TEXT] (as it's written)

"you're so funny!" THANKS!❤️ once i banned a user from a discord server bc she was streaming graphic min0r-adult sims 4 age gap 🌽, so she made three 40+ min videos trying to make me feel bad about cutting her off. then proceeded to leak personal information about me and my gf at the time (with threats of doxxing)!! 🌸❤️

AND! bc there were people in there that didn't like me, they defended her behavior and dogpiled on me, making several public posts trashing me and i never said a word out of fear of them trying to paint me like a bully. they even sent threats to nearly all my friends. she allows her friends to try and doxx my location and past jobs, and misgender me.

and the worst part is, this user is still running her tumblr blog, trying to pretend to stand up for voiceless minority groups but only as long as she likes you, otherwise you'll get lengthy call out posts.

i talk to my audience to my audience to stand up for themselves, but i wasn't even practicing what i preached. idc if you don't like me or not or how this makes me look. i have the right to stand up for myself bc that's up to me.

i told her multiple times it wasn't personal, me and the mods just felt uncomfortable and wanted to protect the 600+ members. we tried to handle it quietly and in DMs but she started to spread misinformation publicly.

ALSO PS: there is no minur-adult age gaps in my story, (even tho she tries to say this), and a 2 second scroll through my series will disprove this. anyone that's watched the episodes knows this isn't true. which is funny bc she used to be my fan and commented on my later episodes, which would prove she would KNOW this and is simply trying to spread misinformation.

[End of ALT TEXT]

And here're their tweets:

Now upon reading these, you're probably thinking, "Damn, whoever this person is is an unhinged dick." right? A number of people in the TikTok comments sure did:

I would've thought the same had it not been about me... but it was.

My initial response to being informed about all of this was to ignore it because I had Kureha and their friends who were involved in this situation (including those who were lurking) blocked on everything since 2024 and didn't wanna see/hear/breathe anything remotely related to these people whatsoever; on top of that, it'd be hypocritical of me to be mad at Kureha talmbout me when I talked about them. I also said I wouldn't ever discuss anything pertaining to this should Kureha ever make a response because at the time, it didn't matter and I genuinely couldn't have cared less. However, it's what Kureha said specifically said on specific platforms that're known for being extremely toxic, and the fact my name was mentioned in the comments-- a very slick thing to do because it can easily be deleted and denied in the future-- that caused me to become a little concerned.

I considered making a TikTok post in response to the allegations, but up until recently, I chose to remain silent because aside from the uptick in lurkers, nothing happened when Kureha made their posts and I already had videos that addressed everything that happened-- including what I was originally accused of doing-- that would've shown 99.5% of what Kureha (and their friends) said is a lie. (yes, I linked the video playlist again 😂) so it would've been pointless to make a response when the videos can speak for themselves.

Hell... maybe after reading this, that won't even be necessary (unless you're really, really curious). But I also figured that when it felt right and I had the time, I'd maaaaaybe address these new-ish allegations in the future.

Which I'm about to do right now. 😁

I never streamed sexually explicit Sims 4 content between a minor and adult in Kureha and Frens' server, The Sims Corner.

Where did that allegation come from? It came from one of Kureha's close friends, Moony, who was one of the moderators of TSC. And I'm happy to share how Kureha and the crew settled with that particular allegation (and please look at the dates):

These screenshots can be seen in my videos (which I've talked about it at length in my very first video) and none of them are edited; as you can see by the dates, Moony sent a message about the streaming incident in April, but allegations about me were made privately (then publicly) in June.

The very next day after blocking me on Discord and Instagram, moony ended up writing a lengthy IG post in response to another person's post that alleged Kureha and their friends were spreading lies. In her IG post, Moony talked about how— in spite of them having over 40k followers on TikTok and YouTube combined at the time— Kureha wasn't a big creator so they shouldn't be held to unrealistic standards, etc., then brought my name up outta nowhere on her next slide:

[Full screenshots of Moony's story can be read on my videos]

Mind you, she was addressing me knowing she had me blocked so I didn't see it until it was brought to my attention by other people and Val sent me screenshots of it (yes, the same Val you see in Kureha's comments calling me and those associated with me weirdos). These are what I actually wrote which shows that I never said anything about Kureha a big creator or anyone from that group spreading lies. In my 1st video, I vehemently denied streaming incest in The Sims Corner because that's what Moony initially accused me of doing (on IG she left it up to interpretation).

When I posted my 2nd video in August, she wrote a lengthy response in the comments that I call her Dear John letter (and can be read in its entirety on my 3rd video) and in that response, it contained a new allegation:

And I want to make this abundantly clear: it’s a complete lie.

If I really streamed that kind of content on TSC-- which I never did-- and informed Moony (a moderator with full power) of that and it made her uncomfortable, why would she give me permission to continue streaming said content for other people to see?

Why would she leave instead of (yanno?) being a moderator and immediately hitting me with the ban hammer?

Why would she wait days later to send me a message about the incident stating it "wasn't my fault so don't feel at fault", which she repeated in voice chat in May when she learned I never got her message?

Why would she claim to be sad to see me leave the server then turn around with a list of complaints and allegations-- some I ain't never heard until that day-- after being informed that Kureha was the one who banned me?

Why would she publicly double down with brand new allegations of what I supposedly did that troubled her and the other moderators to the point of feeling like they had to “walk on eggshells in their own server” but when she and the others had ample opportunity to do something about it, they chose to do nothing?

Because. she's. a liar.

As for Kureha saying I tried to imply their series contained a minor-adult relationship, I'm pretty sure I know where that allegation of theirs came from (the last 5mins of my 1st video), but it was taken out of context to fit their narrative and I've explained in detail on both my 2nd and 3rd videos(<- timestamp for vid.3 is 14:30) why I said what I said, so if anyone would like to have a listen for themselves, they're free to do so.

Anywayz...

Kureha claims that the streaming incident was the reason they banned (and ghosted) me, but when you look at the screenshots, the incident took place towards the end of APRIL: I got banned in the middle of JUNE.

and, as seen in my videos, NONE of the conversations between us (or Moony for that matter) had anything to do with me being told "multiple times" that "it's not personal, the mods're uncomfortable, and we wanna protect the 600+ members in the server". Kureha wasn't even in TSC at the time that incident took place; they left in March due to being uncomfortable and-- whaddya know?-- it wasn't because of me.

They returned on the last day of May and our last set of messages we exchanged on Discord went up to June 7th (approximately 10 days before I got banned):

So if what Kureha said on TikTok and Twitter is true and they banned me for such a disgusting act, wouldn't they have done that in April when the incident occurred? Or May, when they returned and "wanted to make sure they had all the information?" Why wait til the middle of June to do all of that? And why would Moony say that this particular incident wasn't the reason I got banned when Kureha says it was?

...

Don't worry, I'll wait.

Now let's move on to the ban itself.

I thought my sudden removal from the server was a glitch of some sort and made attempts to reach out to Kureha, Moony, and Stellar to see if this could be fixed. When it came to Moony and Stellar, I used Discord for Moony and IG for Stellar. With Kureha, I had to get a lil creative because I realized I was no longer on Kureha's friend's list on Discord, but we were still mutuals on other platforms; given that they told me that their IG messenger wasn't working, I opted to use Tumblr as a last ditch effort to get in contact with them.

This was the first message I sent:

What's not seen here is the part where I mentioned having to use the Tumblr method to message them (which I hadn't done since September 2023). While I waited for a response from the trio, I noticed Kureha had been posting and/or reblogging posts and their icon kept going from green to grey on Tumblr and this went on for days. Upon seeing this, it dawned on me that Kureha was intentionally ignoring me and not gonna lie, that annoyed the hell outta me.

So I followed up with:

That's when they responded and this was our final exchange before they blocked me:

Unlike IG or Discord, once you're blocked on Tumblr, the messages vanish completely. I don't know if Kureha unblocked me to screenshot and share our conversation with Moony, but when Moony shared them on her IG account with her own commentary (no need to read the whole thing over twice) the very beginning of it was cut off.

To this day, I don't know if it was Kureha or Moony that did this and it doesn't matter since their goals were the same: to portray me as an unhinged and entitled individual who was hostile towards Kureha.

(and if you're wondering why the times are different in our respective screenshots, we live in different areas)

I never shared personal information about Kureha and Stellar's relationship nor did I threaten to dox them.

All I ever said in my 2nd video was that they dated, broke up and remained friends; but because it's been alleged (by both Moony and Kureha) me stating the obvious was some top secret private affair I revealed-- when Kureha and Stellar made their relationship known on public platforms-- it led to me going into detail in my 3rd video why mentioning their relationship was relevant to the situation, including the fact Kureha kept flirting with other people and Stellar didn't seem to appreciate that in the slightest (hence the side-eying gifs she'd always send in chat whenever she caught them doing this). The knowledge I have of their relationship stems from what I witnessed on IG and The Sims Corner: public platforms.

While I admit to stating my belief for their breakup was due to Kureha's lack of respect for their relationship, it was Val who randomly told people (myself included) that Kureha gave the real reason on their private server. Regardless of whether or not the reason(s) was true, I never included it in any of my videos-- I don't even think I was aware of it when I made the first one-- because not only would it have been beyond inappropriate of me to do so, it was irrelevant.

Yes I can be messy, but I've got integrity.

Kureha also talked about where they lived, worked, etc., multiple times on Instagram or TSC which again, are public platforms; if anyone's to blame for why any of that information was mentioned anywhere, it's Kureha, not me. I never said anything about revealing that information either (why would I?) so this is all news to me.

I never allowed any of my friends to misgender Kureha.

I can hazard a guess as to who Kureha's referring to and it's the individual who replied to Moony's comment asking why she was speaking for them. That individual is not my friend, has never been my friend, and wasn't even a mutual. I don't know who they are, but what I do know is that they came to my defense and called out Moony's hypocrisy and I agreed with what was said about her, not them referring to Kureha by incorrect pronouns. But because I didn't correct this person (and I can admit to dropping the ball there) which could've resulted in them revealing whether or not they knew Kureha's pronouns, it gave Kureha the confidence to say I allowed a "friend" to intentionally misgender them and that is not true. In addition to this, I'm not the only one who could've corrected this individual; Moony and xoxosims could've done it-- like I said, the reply was under Moony's comment-- but they didn't and I can't tell you why.

If I were to use Kureha's logic, that would mean their own friends allowed them to be misgendered because they didn't defend them and it would also mean the troll who called me "a 40-year-old gooner who's mad over getting banned" was a friend of theirs as well.

Which isn't the case.

I never threatened any of Kureha's friends.

I don't know how me ranting (I'm paraphrasing here), "Morve (<- another friend of Kureha's who reported my account) came in my DMs talking reckless out her mouth like her ass can't get touched." with the Nicki Minaj "What's good" gif can be seen as a threat, and that's probably my ignorance. This is what Morve sent me by the way.

yeah, totally should've ended it at that, instead of stooping down to her level and calling her a yipyapping baby dog (i couldn't remember the word chihuahua 😂🤣) but it is what it is.

What I will acknowledge-- and this is why I said 99.5% of what Kureha alleged is false-- is that my best friend replied to the comments Kureha's friends, Moony and xoxosims (<- I called her by her series name in vid.3), made and said something among the lines of "drop yo addy so we can meet up and talk", "folks are mad about getting snatched by they edges", or something like that. (maybe that's what Kureha meant when they said I "allowed "friends" to try and dox them" 🤔🤔🤔🤔) I don't remember what they said word for word nor do I remember everything that was written due to all of their comments being deleted when I removed Moony and xoxo's (I didn't wanna see their names on my platform anymore), but if anybody's got screenshots of this, they're free to share them along with the misgendering allegation. However, in defense of my best friend, they were trolling and it was done in response to Moony and xoxo trying to shame me for making my videos by alleging I was some "chronically online stalker who keeps talking about old shit".

(I dunno why Moony bothered with writing that "hope you find closure" remark on her IG if she and her friends were gonna be annoyed at me doing just that.)

Since I'm still on the topic of friends, I might as well get this out of the way too: the people Kureha keep calling my friends were not my friends (a few of 'em aint even like me like that). They were mutuals and NONE of them would've ever associated with me, supported me, or even gave me testimony for my 3rd video had I really done what's been alleged I did.

That is 100% a lie and a disgusting thing to say about them because Kureha knows the implications behind what they alleged.

And finally (for the umpteenth):

I DIDN'T MAKE MY VIDEOS SOLELY BECAUSE OF KUREHA!!!!

I made them because I was lied on and harassed.

All that talk about telling me multiple times it wasn't personal and "me and the mods just felt uncomfortable and wanted to protect the 600+ members. we tried to handle it quietly and in DMs but she started to spread misinformation publicly." and Kureha being afraid to speak up because they didn't wanna be painted as a bully is a lie. They didn’t say anything because they're a nonconfrontational coward who can't be an adult and admit they’re wrong.

And why would they need to when their friends and fans blindly defend them?

I never did anything to anybody from that group or server and I'm not this random bitter ass person with some stupid vendetta that they’re all tryna make people believe I am. Kureha and I were mutuals on Instagram and our DMs date back to OCTOBER 2022 when their YouTube channel had 3k subs and we were only replying to each other's stories and had brief interactions; March 2023 (after Kureha reached out to me) is when we started talking to each other on a consistent basis for OVER A YEAR. I celebrated every milestone they hit, gave them words of encouragement when they were second guessing themselves-- especially when it came to them wanting to add spicier content to their work-- or when they needed advice. I was the one who encouraged them to make a Patreon. I'm not saying I was the only one who did this but I was one of the reasons why they decided to make one. I even recommended Pillowfort (and kinda Twitter) to so they could share their 18+ content without getting a guideline. I was their very first Super Chat when they did their very first YouTube premiere in April, a month after they left The Sims Corner.

It was a small amount ($5) but that's not the point: the point is, we had a very cordial relationship with one another and there wasn't a single time Kureha ever told me that I did something, anything, that bothered them.

Not in DMs. Not in voice chat. Not in Morse Code. Not through a fax, bird, message in a bottle, or blimp.

So when I saw that I was suddenly no longer from a server I been in since it launched (even when that ish became straight up dead) without any warning and wasn't on Kureha friend's list on Discord-- but they were still following me everywhere else-- I was supposed to be okay with that and not reach out to get answers? When I realized I was being intentionally ignored, I was supposed go, "Cool beans." and not ask why?

I was supposed to not tell Moony why I didn't want an invite back to TSC?

I was supposed to keep my frustrations on how poorly this matter was handled by both Kureha and Moony to myself and not vent about it on my own page?

I was supposed keep a level-head when it was revealed to me Kureha shared that ONE private conversation between us from Tumblr that was cut off with Moony who paraded it up and down social media as if it was the Holy Grail of Evidence?

I was supposed to remain calm as Moony made false allegations and had the unmitigated gall to say my response to Kureha's failed attempt at gaslighting me was "malicious" and "proof they never wanted to be associated with me in the first place" as if she knew the insights of my relationship with Kureha when she didn't?

I was supposed to remain calm as her posts (screenshots included) was shared MULTIPLE TIMES BY HER AND KUREHA'S OTHER FRIENDS for all their respective followers on their accounts to see?

I was supposed to be okay with Morve reporting my account for bullying and harassment when she came in my DMs hurling baseless allegations, demanding answers from me and I responded to by calling her a dog and cussing her out?

I was supposed to endure all of this while Kureha’s able to go on their merry way "🌸 protecting their peace 🌸" and not say anything?

nah.

So I shared everything I deemed necessary for people to know about the situation and I was right to do so because the one who's name and reputation people keep trying to drag through the virtual mud and literally dogpiled on first is me.

The one who Kureha tried to put at risk by telling and cosigning those lies on TikTok and Twitter is ME.

All these jokes, assumptions, insults, those stupid remarks about CALLING THE POLICE AND WONDERING IF, WHEN, OR WHY I'M NOT IN JAIL, and Kureha laughing about me potentially having a crashout if they were to ever mention my name (when THEY DID) came from lies.

Lies Kureha knew most people over there wouldn't care enough to try and verify.

AND THAT IS FUCKED UP.

But sure...

Tell me more about how I'm the problem because I refused to remain silent when Moony's allowed to write and share Google docs hundreds of pages long about other people and creators she, Kureha, and their friends be having problems with year after year and Kureha can make allegations left, right, and center about how everybody and they momma be copying their work and/or "bullying" them with very little to no proof to back any of those claims up.

Tell me more about how me "speaking for the voiceless is a facade" cuz I've been doing that on all of my platforms long before I ever had any public and private interactions with Kureha. Nonetheless, I have to thank them for making their posts; in doing so, they let me know my theory about why I was banned and ghosted (for the most part) was correct because now, it's no longer a theory: it's a fact.

So I'm done. I'm never gonna speak about this again and I mean it. I don't know why Kureha decided to bring this shit back up again-- maybe they were bored and wanted attention-- and I don't care. It's gonna be written off as drama that people'll forget about (again) when more drama happens in the Sims Community anyway. They should've continued thriving on their own side of the corner with their supporters and friends and left me alone.

But alas, here we are. Again.

And I'm letting it be known for the final time: I told my truth for the sake of my closure and showed my proof. Ask them for theirs.

After thinking about it for some time, weighing my options a bit, and finding the proper words, I decided to leave this quiet abode of mine to get this tidbit off my chest and call it a day.

Yes, I’m aware of what KUREHA3D/kureha3d/bykureha (and their friends) said about me in March.

No, I don’t know what led to them saying those things nor do I know why they chose WinteringSpring of ‘25 to talk about something that occurred in the Summer of ‘24-- late Fall if you wanna include my final and long af response to that situation-- which resulted in everybody and they momma blocking each other and supposedly "keeping to their side of the community". Quite frankly, I don’t care; they're grown and can do whatever they want whenever they want; however, it does explain why I saw an uptick in lurkers on my TikTok and IG accounts-- as well as views on one of my videos about the incident in question-- during that time. Whether people choose to listen to everyone and/or read everything that was provided in its entirety is completely up to them, but I don’t blame most of Kureha’s supporters/mutuals/friends(?) or even those who’re just curious for believing what was said at face value because why would they lie... right?

While I’ve set boundaries and would prefer not to discuss anything pertaining to that situation anymore (given that it is an old matter) since it was brought to my attention new information (esp. 'bout myself) was revealed by Kureha themselves, I'm willing to answer a few questions if clarification of some kind is needed: my only request is for people to be respectful and come in good faith. Don’t come here thinking you can be messy or engage in any form of bullying and harassment of any kind, whether it be towards me, Kureha, their friends, mutuals, etc., because you’ll be blocked (if asking anonymously, you'll be deleted).

It's peaceful here in these neck of the woods and I intend to keep it that way.

Thank you!

#ignore this #if you don't wanna see #sims community drama #i’m just rambling #it is what it is #black simmer #black simblr #simblr #simmer #sims 4 community #drama #thinking out loud #sims 4 #ts4 #sims community

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moemoemammon · 4 years ago

Note

Following that "least favorite" request could we get their reactions to being to told that they're their favorite, but to not tell the other brothers so their feelings don't get hurt? Maybe because they relate to them the most or just get along really well. Thanks!

You're My Favorite! But Don't Tell the Others-

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

There are no words to explain the overwhelming satisfaction ion Lucifer’s face after you tell him that. Of course, it’s only natural that he would be your favorite, all things considered.

The Avatar of Pride won’t ever forget this moment. He carefully considers your words and agrees not to tell anyone, as much as he’d love to bring it up, because he knows more than anyone what kind of chaos would ensue should the others (especially Mammon) find out.

But they can tell something’s up when the eldest has been heard humming all day. He moves about the house with even more grace than usual, and hasn’t scowled even once.

But the REAL shocker was when Mammon tried hiding a bill right as Lucifer walked in... and the eldest let him off with a warning. A WARNING! The brothers thought the Devildom must’ve frozen over, but you and he knew different.

“MC, I would like you to accompany me to Le Pluvier this afternoon, once you've finished your studies. I've already made reservations, so be sure to get ready on time. I've made sure to consider the things you might like to eat, so I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. Don't be late." "...I'm grinning? I don't know what you're talking about."

Mammon

The gigantic grin on Mammon’s face is so bright, it could rival the sun. You’ve seriously made his day. No, his year. Actually, he’s pretty sure he could ride this high for the next millennia! There’s nothing in this world that could dampen his spirits right now!

He feels like he just won big at the casino! Of course he’s your favorite! He WAS your first demon, and now he’s gone and claimed his rightful spot as your number one! Good luck trying to keep him from saying anything. Mammon’s gonna throw it around in everyone’s faces for as long as he can milk it.

And you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he treats you after hearing that. Despite always calling you his ‘servant’ or his ‘human’, you’d think your roles were reversed. Mammon spoils you every chance he gets, buying you clothes and trinkets, filling the spaces in your room with the things he knows you like, monopolizing you completely until nearly everything you own is a gift from him.

Your words also help soothe that jealousy of his a little. Only a little, though. It’s easier to watch you talk to other demons when he knows he’ll always be your first man.

“Didja really have to stay after class that long? I know you were talkin' to that demon that lent you a book, but you outta ask ME for stuff! Tch... you're lucky I'm in a good mood today! But I guess I don't have to worry about some low level demon like that, seein' as I'm your favorite!"

Levi

Wait wait wait....Come again? Did you seriously just say what he think you said..? That had to be a mistake! Some kind of...uh..verbal typo! Because there’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY in all of the nine layers that he could be your favorite demon. And yet you still insist that you’re telling the truth, and Levi feels like he’s died and gone to heaven.

Red faced and stammering up a storm, Levi looks like he might die. Is it really okay for a shut-in otaku to feel this giddy? Seriously, he hasn’t felt like this since he got his hands on a signed copy of a Ruri Hana audio drama! No no, this definitely beats that!

You’ve managed to inflate his nearly nonexistent ego, and now he feels like there’s nothing he can’t do! Maybe he could even go to Majolish right now?? THAT’S how good he’s feeling!

Almost as bad as Mammon in keeping it a secret. He doesn’t tell anyone right away, but they’re suspicious when they notice how much time he’s spending out of his room. And then when he and Mammon get in another petty argument, he drops the bomb that he’s your favorite demon in the entire Devildom, and you can guess how things go from there.

“Uuuoooo...!!!!! I've decided..! Since I've got a serious stat buff, I'm going to open a booth at the next convention coming up..! I'll sell my Ruri-chan fan art and spread her influence all over the Devildom! I'd never have the guts to do it normally, but I feel like I could do anything right now! Y-you'll go too, won't you MC?"

Satan

You nearly made this man spit tea all over his book, and now he’s coughing and spluttering and trying to figure out what could’ve prompted what he’s taking as a confession. You.. do realize what you’re saying, don’t you? And you know the kind of effect your words have on him?

Satan isn’t the type that wears his heart on his sleeve, so you have to look for his subtle expressions to tell how he’s feeling. But there’s nothing subtle about the redness of his ears and how he’s begging you not to look at him right now. For the sake of his sanity, give him a minute to recoup.

When he does recover, he agrees to keep it a secret for obvious reasons. And it’s hard to tell that he’s in a good mood, other than the fact that he hasn’t tried to pull any pranks on Lucifer lately. But Asmo sees all, and literally hounds him into spilling the tea.

He tells him a lie of course, but now the other brothers are noticing just how happy he is. Satan's smiling way too much today, isn't he? And he didn't even get mad when Beel got whipped cream on his jacket! Well, not THAT mad, anyway.

"Haaah... everyone's been harassing me all day, claiming I'm smiling a lot. I'm sure I look the same as I always do, but I'll admit that I've been happy ever since you told me that this morning. Wait.. you did think I've been grinning too, do you? I have??"

Asmo

Asmo always jokes about being your favorite and announces it as if the two of you are married, but when you actually confirm that his longing for you isn’t one sided, he ends up smearing lip balm across his cheek in shock. Did you... really say that just now? He knew it all along, but hearing it like that is just...!

Ooooh, he’s so happy he can hardly contain himself! Asmo throws his arms around you, peppering your face in kisses until you feel sticky from lip balm, wipes your face clean, then marks it up all over again. Good luck getting rid of him, because he might never let go.

Immediately posts it to Devilgram. Did you really think he’d let such a momentous occasion go unannounced? You must not have been paying attention to the kind of person he is! Asmo would put you on a pedestal in front of the world like a precious jewel if he were able, but this’ll have to do. He won’t hide his love at all!

Of course, the others don’t take too kindly to it, not that he cares. He never leaves your side, pampers you like crazy, and has even attempted to get you to move into his room. Lucifer put an immediate stop to that, though. Boo...

“I just can't get enough of you, MC! Just being near you gets me so excited that I can hardly stand it! You'll take responsibility for what you're doing to me, won't you? And in exchange, I'll take my time showing you just how much I love you. After all, you're my favorite, too!"

Beel

Beel never has a problem with choking while he eats, and it comes as naturally as breathing. Unfortunately neither of that applies right now, since you just made him choke on a meatball sub.

He usually takes your words with quiet acceptance, but this might be the most emotion you've ever witness from the stoic demon. His eyes are wider than that time that laid on an entire gingerbread mansion, sparkling up with such deep emotion you wouldn't be surprised if he cried. Instead he softens up and immediately embraces you.

...And doesn't let go. Sandwich long forgotten, he's been carrying you around all day, and ignoring any questions or protests from his brothers. Also insists on feeding you throughout the day. The food tastes better when he can enjoy it with you, so why not just bring you everywhere?

When he isn't carrying you, he's following you around subconsciously, either close up against you like a protective wall, or just far enough that you're within his line of sight. As far as not telling anyone, he... tells Belphie immediately. It was an accident though, since there's not much he keeps from his twin.

"MC, I won a meal ticket for Godevil Chocolatier. Let's get something for dessert today. Ah, you can get as much as you want, too. I really want to see what things you choose. They might become my favorites."

Belphie

There's nothing in this world that can wake Belphegor from his sleep, unless he allows it. No loud noises, no amount of shaking or smacking, and not even dragging him around the house. But the moment you whisper that he's your favorite demon, the Avatar of Sloth is wide awake.

Hey, you're not just saying weird things to get a reaction, are you? Because if so, this is a new level of cruel. Yet you confirm that you mean it and swear him into secrecy, and Belphie tries his best not to show how happy he is. A smile keeps creeping up on his face that he struggles to force down. It's annoying...

As funny as it’d be to tell everyone the news, he's good at keeping secrets. Instead, you've noticed that he's been sleeping a little less that before. When he does take one of his hundreds of naps, he finds some way to be closer to you. He's even been seen sleepwalking to your exact location somehow-

It's hard for him to believe that you're not teasing, though. How could HE be your favorite demon here? Belphie doesn't do anything special to win you over, yet after everything he put you through, you like him enough to deep him your favorite?

"You're weird, MC. I mean... me? I won't deny that I'm really happy though, but I guess I'm in disbelief. You should spoil me even more until I believe you. Lend me your lap for a few hours, okay?" "...I wonder what Lucifer would think if I told him, heheh."

3K notes · View notes

jihyuncompass · 4 years ago

Note

Okay but have you considered...Shaw fake dating au 👀. Or for a less hard mode, maybe some fluffy flower shop au hcs for Jihyun? mwah!

You know what Shark? Both of these ideas are so good I’m going to do both.

The Jihyun headcanons will be posted separately, but enjoy some maybe a little too long Shaw fake dating AU.

Also, shoutout to my wonderful friend @stehkotori for her excellent Shaw wisdom and general encouragement during this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Please Say Yes

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into the plans for your newest program, you ask a certain someone to help you. But maybe there’s more to the two of you than you thought.

Shaw x MC

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: Some cursing, Drinking, Alcohol Mentions

----------------------------------------

“Hey boss?” Kiki said, sticking her head into the office. You tore your eyes away from the computer and looked up towards the office door. “I got some bad news.”

Your brow furrowed as you lifted your fingers from your keyboard. “What’s going on?” Kiki walked in and closed the door behind her.

“You know how the special couple’s program is getting filmed next week?” You recalled the proposal for that program, a challenge-based game show for couples to “test” their relationship. You’d liked the program idea, but it had been a pain to get Victor to approve the proposal. You were already cringing remembering the sheer amount of late nights the proposal required.

“Yeah I remember.” You said. “Why? Is everything okay?”

The way Kiki was rubbing her hands together wasn’t giving you much confidence. “One of the couples dropped out.” She said.

You tried to keep your jaw from dropping. Speaking carefully for your own sake. . “Why? What happened?”

Kiki sighed. “I guess she caught him cheating. They broke up a few days ago.” You set your pen back on your desk to cover your eyes with your hands.

“And we only found out now?”

“She just called me ten minutes ago. I guess she was too upset to remember to call.” Kiki frowned.

You groaned. “This is bad.” You whispered to yourself. “This is really bad.” Staring at your desk you tried to think of a solution. You needed that particular number of couples for the show, it was purposeful so you could have a good balance of personalities and relationships. As well as the challenges being built around the numbers. Now it was thrown off.

“Maybe we could find someone last minute? We could do a small last minute casting call?” Kiki suggested. You shook your head.

“The show starts taping in three days there’s not enough time.” You said, you weren’t about to call off the show because one couple dropped out. You couldn’t do that to the crew, not to mention how angry Victor would be about the wasted time and resources. You needed a solution and you needed one quick.

The gears in your head were quickly turning, this wasn’t a great situation, but maybe you could fix it.

“Boss?”

“Okay.” You sat up straight in your chair, you weren’t very confident in your plan, but it’s all you could think of right now. “I’ll step in for the missing couple.”

Kiki’s eyes widened. “You? But you aren’t dating anyone and we need a couple.”

“I’ll find someone, we’ll pretend to be a couple or something. At this point it doesn’t really matter.” You explained. “Let everyone know about the change in plans, I’ll let you know who’s coming with me.” Kiki nodded.

“You’re a savior boss!” Kiki said, turning on her heel to head back to her desk. Once the door closed you sighed loudly to yourself. Alright, now you just needed to find someone to do this with you, that shouldn’t be too hard. Right?

Wrong.

“This sucks.” You whispered to yourself. Throwing yourself down on your bed after work you pressed your face into your bedspread. The conversation from earlier was still echoing in your head.

You’d spent the rest of the day trying to think of who you could possibly ask to do this with you. Going through a mental list of every person you knew, and their likeliness of them saying yes.

At first you’d thought about asking Kiro, the two of you got along well and you’d think he’d go for the chance to spend a couple days with you. Except, he was also an international pop star and not only would Savin never allow it, but you didn’t really want to be harassed by an army of jealous Kiro fans online.

You then thought of Lucien, he’d always been kind enough to help you with programs in the past, but he was so busy you can’t imagine you’d be able to pull him away from his work to do this show. You also couldn’t really imagine his personality type on this time of program.

For a brief moment during a phone call earlier in the day you’d thought about asking Victor, however that idea was scrapped almost as soon as you thought of it. Victor was too high-profile for a show like this, on top of that he would never agree to pretend to date you for it. You’d have better luck getting a dead body to come on the show with you.

There was always Gavin but. Gavin was complicated.

On the other side of the bed your phone rang, breaking your train of thought. After a moment of groaning you pulled yourself up and propped yourself up on your elbows. “Hello?” You said, trying not to let the frustration in your mind seep into your words.

“What’s with that tone? Not happy to hear from me?” You held back another groan.

“No I’m just not in a great mood.” You started. On Shaw’s end you thought you could hear the sound of his skateboard on the pavement. “Are you calling me while skating right now?”

Shaw made a “humph” sound. “So what if I am? I’m smart enough not to hurt myself.” You still were convinced it was safe but you knew better than trying to argue with Shaw. That energy would be better spent on arguing with him on something important.

“Just be careful.” You said. “So, what do you need?”

“Why are you assuming I need something?” Shaw asked.

“Shaw you pretty much only call me to trick me into buying you dinner or to drag me along on whatever chaos you’ve decided on for that day.” You explained. Rolling onto your back you stared up at the ceiling.

From Shaw’s end it sounded like he had gotten off his board. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that the way to man’s heart is through his stomach?”

“Who ever said I was trying to get into your heart?”

“Just food for thought.” Shaw said. “Anyways, I’m on my way to yours right now. I’m in the mood for hotpot.”

You sat up, gasping at this boy’s audacity. “You are just trying to get me to buy you food!”

“I never said I wasn’t. I’ll be there in five, be ready for me.” The line went dead before you could shout at him. Finally allowing yourself to groan loudly you dragged yourself out of bed to at least put on a jacket and grab your keys and wallet.

Leaning against the wall of your apartment building you saw Shaw’s silhouette against the sunset. As expected he was racing down the sidewalk on his skateboard, when you met his eyes his lips pulled into his typical smirk.

“Waiting for me outside? Are you really that excited to see me?” Shaw said once he was close enough to be heard. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No! I just got ready quickly so I figured I’d get some fresh air!” You huffed. Despite your pout, Shaw’s smirk remained. “You said you wanted hotpot? There’s that place down the street. Let’s go there.” Shaw shrugged and held his board under his arm.

You sat across from Shaw. Between you the broth was boiling as Shaw added in the first hotpot ingredients. You propped your head up on your hand, like most evenings the post-work exhaustion had hit and you could already feel yourself fading and your eyes slipping closed. .

“Hey!” Shaw snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Stop daydreaming. Don’t waste your time with me like that.” You blinked a few times and looked back up to face him.

You sat up straighter to try and break out of your train of thought. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Shaw squinted at you. “What’s with you today? You’re acting dumber than usual.” You almost wanted to throw some sarcastic comment back at him. Instead you just ended up sighing,

“Work stuff. Doesn’t matter.” You said leaning forward to look at the hotpot Shaw was checking on.

You needed this show to happen, you’d worked so hard to get it set up and figured out. You couldn’t let it fall apart because of this. Still, you needed someone, and you were running out of time. At this point you were about to call Minor and beg him to come with you.

After watching the pot for a long while your eyes fluttered up to look at Shaw. He was so focused on the food that he didn’t even seem to notice you looking at him. Watching him toss some more veggies into the pot your mind seemed to pause for a moment. A strange thought going through your mind.

“Hey Shaw.” You started.

“What?”

“I need to ask you something, and I need you to hear me out.” You said. Shaw looked back up at you now. “So there’s this show my company is filming next week.” You started

Shaw furrowed his brow. “What does this have to do with me?” You shot him a glare.

“I said hear me out!” You exclaimed. “It's a challenge based game show. A bunch of couples are going to have to undergo challenges to see how strong either relationship really is.” Shaw was staring at you, like he was waiting for you to get to the point. “Last second we had one of the couples drop out and so I need-”

Shaw rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to go on your show.” He said. “Besides, you said this is for couples. I’m not dating anyone.”

You leaned forward. “I wasn’t finished.” Shaw went back to stirring the hotpot shaking his head. “I would try and find a real couple, but filming starts on Monday and it’s already Friday night. I already offered to go on the show, I just need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.” Shaw kept eyeing you.

“So you want me to be your fake boyfriend?” You nodded. “Why me?” He asked. “Why not ask your beloved Officer Gavin or something. You know he'd say yes in a heartbeat” Shaw explained dropping more vegetables into the pot. You anxiously rubbed your hands together.

“I know he would. But-” You started. Staring at the bubbling pot as you bit your bottom lip. “I care about Gavin. A lot, he’s a kind and wonderful guy but…” Shaw raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I just see him as a friend and I don’t want him to get confused.” You said, glancing up you looked back at Shaw’s face.

You sat in silence as the hotpot cooked. You waited for Shaw to say something, look at you, anything. After a while you shook your head. “I shouldn’t have asked, forget it.” Shaw looked back up to you.

“Hey I never said I wouldn’t do it.” Shaw said.

“You weren’t saying anything!”

“I was thinking.” Shaw said and leaned back in his seat. “What’s in this for me?”

You were almost prepared for this. You sat up straighter in your seat, Shaw could be a hard sell, but he actually might be a perfect choice. His personality would add a lot of flavor to the show.

“First of all, it’s all expenses paid. Food, boarding, all of it, plus all the cast members do get compensated.” Shaw still didn’t seem convinced, he was almost worse than Victor, at least with Victor you could usually tell right away when he hated your proposals. “You’d get to be on TV of course-” Also no reaction, but the more you talked the more you wanted to convince him. “You’ll get to mess with me the whole time, and I’ll owe you big time.”

Shaw was still silent, as he dipped strips of meat into the broth to cook. “The show sounds kinda dumb.”

Balling your hands into fists you bit back the urge to get angry. “If you don’t want to do it you can just say no.” Ignoring you, Shaw pulled out his phone, you couldn’t see the screen but as he turned it towards him you thought you saw a text message flash across the screen.

A smirk pulled across Shaw’s lips. “Well today's your lucky day.” Shaw set his phone aside as your brow raised. “Sounds like Adam ate shit and sprained his wrist. Our performance this weekend is cancelled.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll live.” Shaw said. “Guess I could do this silly little show of yours.”

“You’ll do it?”

“Well I don’t have any other plans so why not, Jensen’s already elected to cancel the show.” Shaw said. You wanted to jump out and cheer. The show was going to go on, you had a replacement now. This was going to be okay, everything was going to be okay.

From the other side of the table Shaw was watching you, his eyebrow raised in confusion by your excitement. You didn’t even care that he was judging you with this gaze, you were far too happy to try and defend yourself.

With a subtle shake of his head, Shaw dropped the noodles into the pot, glancing back up at you he tried to hide the smirk on his face.

This was bound to be interesting.

--------------------------

You’d told Shaw you’d pick him up in the morning to take him to the filming location. Sitting in your car you waited for him to show up, you were more than familiar with his history of being late but of all days today was the one day you absolutely didn’t want him to be.

Tapping your fingers against the steering wheel you considered calling him. Telling him to get a move on, you couldn’t be late. Especially since you’re supposed to be on the show too.

Biting your nails you tried to think of when he could come out. Your eye on the clock you tried to think of how long it would take to get there, you couldn’t be late to your own show. Staring at the clock you didn’t even notice the movement in the corner of your eye.

“Oi!” You turned towards the passenger side window. Shaw was tapping his finger against the window leaning down so his face was level with yours in the car. You gave him a look.

“What?” You shouted so he could hear you. Shaw rolled his eyes, he made a show of

trying to open the car door to no avail. Your face turned beet red and you unlocked the door for him. Shaw plopped himself down in the passenger seat. Tossing a backpack into the backseat.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was locked.” You said.

“Do you usually keep it unlocked?” Shaw asked with a glare in your direction.

“No!” You insisted while you rolled your eyes.

“You shouldn’t, only an idiot would keep their doors unlocked for any stranger to get in.” Shaw said, pulling the seat belt over his chest. You wanted to try and get back at him, say something,but instead you just rolled your eyes.

Shaw turned up the radio, he flipped through radio stations until he seemed to settle on something he liked. You kept mostly silent, conversations with Shaw usually came fairly naturally. He didn’t usually seem to have any issues when it came to finding something to talk about.

“We should probably have a story right?” Shaw said about ten minutes into the drive. His voice threw you off for a moment, your gaze turning back to him.

“Story?”

“For the show?” Shaw asked like it was supposed to be obvious.

“Oh!” You said, your cheeks burned a bit. Of course he’s thinking about the show right now. “You’re right we probably should. They’re going to ask us how we met.” You focused on the road, but shot a few quick glances at Shaw. “So, what should our story be?”

Shaw thought for a second, “We met on a bus. It’s not a lie.”

“That’s not a good story though.” You said. “It needs to be more interesting than that!” Shaw rolled his eyes. You fell into silence again as you tried to think of a story. Something believable but also interesting enough for the show.

“Maybe…” You said. “We met at a show at Live House. I went to blow off steam after work, you were there because you’re always there.” Shaw looked like he wanted to interject but you stopped him. “We met at the show and started talking, and that’s how we got together.”

Shaw tapped his fingers against the car door in rhythm with the music. “Seems believable enough.”

Together you ran over the details a few more times, making sure you both were clear on the story you would tell the cameras. Once you were both sure and rehearsed the car fell back into silence. You focused on the road while Shaw hummed along to the music on the radio. You knew his voice was good, you’d heard him perform in his band more than once. Still the warm tones of his voice drew you in. You were nearly forcing yourself to breathe silently so you could hear him better. You didn’t dare interrupt him, and he continued for the rest of the trip.

Once you’d pulled into the set you sat in the car for a moment. The closer you had gotten to set the more a knot started to grow in your stomach. You’d produced dozens of shows by this point but there was something different about actually being in the show this time. Knowing you’d have to be on camera made you feel much more nervous. Chewing on the inside of your lip you stared off into the distance, your gaze not fixating on anything in particular. Maybe offering to go on the show was a bad idea, maybe you should have just tried to find someone else to do this show. It’s too late though, you can’t back out now. You already dragged Shaw all the way here and into your mess.

In the passenger seat Shaw stopped his humming, you hadn’t even noticed until his voice was cutting into your thoughts.

“Weren’t you saying we were late shouldn’t we-” Shaw started. You tried to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Shaw started to talk again, “Hey.” He said, his voice a little softer than his usual tone, you felt his warm hand rest on your shoulder. “Breathe. In for four seconds.” You didn’t have time to question him and followed his instructions. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath in. “Hold it.” He said after the four seconds were finished, you held your breath and kept your eyes closed. After about seven more seconds the grip on your shoulder loosened. “Exhale for eight.” Nodding you followed his instruction and exhaled.

When you finished Shaw’s hand on your shoulder tightened again. “Do it again.” He said, nodding you took the breath in for four and held it for seven, then another long breath out. You did this five more times. Until the tension in your shoulders released and you could think clearly again.

After a little while longer you let out a sigh. Shaw’s hand left your shoulder. You looked over at Shaw in the passenger seat.

“Thank you. I’m sorry for that.” You said. Beside you Shaw shrugged.

“Just remember to breathe and you’ll be fine.” Shaw said.

Pulling the key out of the ignition you took another deep breath. “How did you know how to do that?” You asked him.

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his backpack. “It’s just a simple breathing exercise. It’s not rocket science.” Shaw looked out the window.

Taking in the set one more time from a distance you unlocked the doors. You and Shaw both shut the car doors. Standing next to you, Shaw elbowed you. “Are we waiting for something?”

After shaking your head you walked together into a set where production assistants rushed around to set things up. You recognized a few of the other couples from casting a few weeks ago. As you walked onto set, some people seemed to recognize you, waving at you when they saw you. You waved back greeting people as you passed.

Shaw mostly kept quiet as you greeted everyone, you noticed the way people would look at him. Even if he wasn’t speaking much there was still something striking about him. Maybe it was the lavender colored hair he swore was natural, or the little slits in one of his eyebrows. Or maybe it was that presence that Shaw had. A presence that demanded attention, something about him that just drew people towards him. At least to look at him.

Eventually the two of you settled into standing in a circle with some of the couples who were going to be on the show. All chattering excitedly with each other.

“I wonder what kinds of challenges they’re going to have us do.” One person asked. The others talked amongst themselves. You already knew what challenges were set up for the show. However you also didn’t want to let them in on the challenges. You held your tongue so not to say anything.

“Maybe it’ll be like the newlywed game?” Another person suggested.

“That seems a little generic.” A third person said. Shaw eyed you out of the corner of his eye. He obviously knew that you knew what the challenges would look like, still you didn’t say a word.

They discussed some of the other possible challenges. Some of their ideas were close to the truth or quite far off, still you kept quiet. You noticed that Shaw wasn’t throwing his own thoughts into the conversation. Right now, he almost seemed content to just listen right now.

Eventually the conversation shifted to how all the couples had met, around the circle of people couples started to tell their stories. Some met at work, one couple were high school sweethearts, another couple had met on a dating app, eventually every couple had told their story until it was just You and Shaw left.

The woman next to you turned towards you. “How about you two? You’ve been awfully quiet.” You looked at Shaw, who was smirking at you. You cleared your throat and rubbed the back of your neck.

“We met at a concert.” You said. “I went to see this local band I was a big fan of and-”

“I’m the bassist of the band.” Shaw interjected, you glared at him. He was actually going to alter the story? Right now? You attempted not to let your shock shine through, but the way Shaw was smirking he clearly recognized your surprise. “They had gotten themself into the front row. They kept staring at me the entire time I was on stage.” Shaw explained.

You pressed your lips together then continued the story after Shaw took a pause. “To be fair he kept staring at me too. He was constantly trying to get my attention.” Shaw’s trademarked smile didn’t falter. “Then, after the show he kept trying to get me to come backstage to talk to him.” You continued. You opened your mouth to try and say more but Shaw stopped you.

“Well babe it didn’t take much to get you to agree.” Shaw said leaning closer towards you. You tried not to let the newfound flush in your face show. “We went backstage and they just kept talking about how much they loved the band and how well I performed.” You held yourself back from hitting him. He was really determined to make you sound ridiculous.

“I am a pretty big fan so of course I was pretty excited to get to talk to him.” You explained. “We talked for a few hours and by the end of the night he was practically begging to come home with me.” This time, Shaw’s smile tightened. If he was going to make you sound ridiculous, you were going to make him sound just as silly. “I didn’t want to rush things so I gave him my number instead.”

Shaw put his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him. He’s really trying to sell this act. “I of course accepted their number, but they just kept texting me ya’know.”

“So were you babe.” You shot back. “We were talking constantly, and he constantly asked me out to dinner for weeks.”

“Well I managed to wear you down eventually.” Shaw pulled you close again. “The rest is history.” Shaw finished. The circle seemed to be invested in your story. You hoped it sounded realistic enough to them, and based on their expressions. It must have been.

The woman who originally asked you grinned. “That’s such a cute story! And you both look so good together” She said. You thanked her. The red in your face was getting worse. As you stood here you became almost painfully aware of Shaw’s arm around your waist.

The group continued on their stories and conversations. You jumped in from time to time but didn’t still try to give away more details about you and Shaw’s fake relationship. The original story was already starting to fall apart, so you didn’t want to big yourself a hole so deep the two of you can’t explain your way out of it.

Behind you one of the production assistants shouted towards the group to get everyone’s attention. “Alright! We’re going to start shooting here pretty soon. Make yourselves pretty, eat something whatever you need to do!” Everyone nodded and gave a thumbs up to the production assistants. The couples started to peel away from the circle to get themselves ready.

“Aren’t you going to get ready?” Shaw asked.

“I am ready.” You said. Shaw looked you up and down twice. You crossed your arms over your chest. “I got ready before I got here. What about you?”

“What about me?” Shaw said, his smile turning more into a smirk. “I’ve never looked better.” You wanted to throw something at him, but instead you just took a long, stressed breath. Shaw’s arm dropped from your waist and leaned against the wall. Shaw shoved his hands into his jacket’s pockets.

You left Shaw on his own for a little while while you talked with the production team. They gave you their estimated itinerary and a general run down on how things have been going so far production wise. While you talked with them you noticed Shaw out of the corner of your eye, still watching you. His gaze never leaving your direction.

The director gathered everyone into a circle to explain the plan for the day. The shoot would take place over two days, with the cast and crew staying in a hotel not far from the shooting location.

“Alright.” The director started. “Here’s the game plan everyone. The first thing we’ll be

doing are introductory interviews. We’ll ask you a few questions about your histories and relationship. After that they’ll get started on the first challenge, any questions?” The whole cast glanced back and forth at one another.

The director answered a few questions but kept it brief. As he finished up, members of the production team started pulling couples aside for their interviews.

You and Shaw were called up second to last for your first interview.

“You’re fidgeting.” Shaw said as you got into your places. You curled your hands into little fists so they would stop playing with your clothes. You avoided showing your annoyance at him. After all, you were supposed to be acting as a couple.

The director sat up straight in his chair. “Alright you two are you ready?” You nodded, making one last check to make sure your hair looked alright. Beside you Shaw removed his hands from his pockets. He seemed rather casual about this, unlike yourself.

“We’re ready.” Shaw said. You took one last long breath before trying to put on your best on camera expression. Shaw on the other hand, looked completely unbothered as the crew finished setting up the audio and lights.

You watched as the director called for silence on the set. You tried to fight your shaking hands, your stage fright worse than you expected.

Shaw seemed to notice your anxiety, beside you, you heard him click his tongue. You were about to say something when Shaw took your shaking hand in his. Holding it tight. From the corner of your eye you tried to get a glimpse at Shaw’s expression. His face was the same slightly amused but fairly serious expression as always.

“Action!” The director called. You put a smile on for the camera and squeezed Shaw’s hand still holding yours.

“So-” The show’s host began. “Tell us about yourselves.”

The introductory interview went as well as it could have. You repeated the same story you’d decided on while you were on the way there. Shaw spoke with a confidence that surprised you. It reminded you of the way he looks when he performs on stage. Confident and self assured, maybe a little bit cocky, but mostly charismatic.

On the other hand you weren’t so confident in your performance. Multiple times you had to stop yourself from stuttering or getting panicked. Still, you managed to get through it. And once the director said you were finished you sighed deeply in relief. Once the director said cut. Shaw let go of your hand to shove it back into his jacket pocket, and while it took a while to notice, you felt a bit empty without him.

The rest of the day was just filming the show, doing games and challenges. Interspersed with more short interviews. Time seemed to move quickly, you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until the sun had started to go down and you realized how your body was aching. Throughout the final challenge you were fighting to keep yourself standing despite your aching legs and headache blooming behind your eyes.

When the director called for the end of the night you really realized just how heavy your body was. Beside you Shaw seemed fine, near the end of the night he did seem to be moving a bit slower but he didn’t seem as tired, or as drained as you were.

You dragged yourself back to the car, the thought of a warm dinner and comfortable bed propelling you forward. Shaw beside you didn’t seem to be struggling nearly as much.

“Why are you walking so slow?” Shaw asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You frowned. “I’m tired. I’ve been on my feet all day.” Shaw’s expression didn’t change. You stopped in front of your car and sighed, your eyes were starting to feel heavy and your body felt like you could collapse at any moment.

Going through your bag you tried to find your keys. Shaw watched you with his typical somewhat judgemental gaze. Once you felt the keyring between your fingers you pulled the keys from your bag with a short sigh of relief.

But before you could unlock the car doors Shaw plucked the keys from your hand. You shot him a glare.

“Hey!” You started.

“You look like a dead man walking.” Shaw said. “You’ll kill us both.” Shaw slid into the driver seat. You opened and shut your mouth again, and after a moment of disbelief you sighed and got into the passenger’s seat.

“Do you need directions to the hotel?” You asked while you settled into your seat. Shaw turned the car on, pulling it into reverse.

“I’m hungry, let’s get food first.” Shaw said, turning to watch behind him as he backed out.

“The company is covering room service for everyone. We can just eat at the hotel.” You explained.

“Nah.” Shaw said. “I want to go somewhere else.”

“Do you know the area at all?”

“Nope.” The car pulled out of the parking spot, Shaw turned back to sit against the seat of the car. You wanted to argue with him, but you were too tired and knew better than arguing with him when you could hardly think straight.

You let your eyes slip closed while he drove. Shaw turned the radio on, but kept the volume low for you to rest. With your cheek pressed against the cool car window, your eyes opened from time to time to check on your surroundings.

Sneaking a glance at Shaw he was completely focused on the road. His face was blank and concentrated. You decided to trust him that he knew what he was doing, and that he wasn’t going to be crashing your car.

You were roused from your dozing when you felt the car stop. Opening your eyes, the car was stopped in front of a small takeout restaurant, a few people lingering in front.

Shaw glanced over at you. “Awake now?” He jeered.

“What is this place?” You asked as you looked back at the small building hardly larger than a food truck.

“It’s food.” Shaw said.

“Do you know if it’s any good?”

Shaw sighed loudly. “So many questions.” Pressing your lips together into a fine line you fought back the urge to argue with him. “Come on.” Shaw got out of the car and shut the door behind me. After taking a moment to collect yourself you got out and followed Shaw towards the building.

Once you’d gotten your food you both sat down at a picnic table a little ways away from the restaurant. You both dug into your food with no delay, after a long day of filming it seemed the two of you were both hungrier than you’d let on.

You watched Shaw while you ate. Something in you couldn’t help it, being around Shaw you always felt somewhat disoriented. You could rarely figure out what he was thinking, or even how he was really feeling. He always knew what to say to push your buttons, to make your face red and want to shout. Still, you found yourself spending more and more time with him, even if just to watch him. Seeing the small changes in his expressions, or the glint he got in his eye when he seemed amused or excited about something. How despite his facial expression you could always tell there was thoughts and emotions hidden under the surface that he would likely never share with you or anyone for that matter.

“Why are you staring at me?” Shaw asked, you blinked and cleared your throat. You hadn’t realized how long you were looking at him.

You looked down at the table and ignored the flush in your cheeks. “Sorry, I was just a little lost in thought.” You pushed some of the food around and took a few small bites. Now Shaw watched you while you tried to focus on your meal in front of you. You wondered what could possibly be going through his mind as he eyed you. The slightest bit of amusement in his eyes, his lips turned up in his signature teasing smile.

“Shaw, can I ask you something?” You asked. Shaw raised a slit eyebrow. “Why did you agree to do this show with me? I know it’s not something you’d normally be interested in.”

His smile shifted into a more neutral expression as he spoke. “I thought it could be entertaining.” Shaw said. “Besides, I didn’t have anything else to do so why not.”

“Because your gig was cancelled?” You asked.

Shaw didn’t meet your eyes, running a hand through his hair to push it from his eyes. “Yeah.” Although his answer was short, you had a feeling that it wasn’t the whole truth. That there as something else there. The issue was if you should push it or not.

“Can I ask you another question?”

Shaw looked you in the eyes, like he was trying to read your intentions. “What?”

“Why do you like being around me?” You asked. Shaw’s expression was still like stone. “You’re always messing with me, making fun of me, making me run around in circles. Why?”

He seemed to pick his answer carefully. He kept his expression guarded, yet you had a strange feeling looking at him. “It’s simple. You’re entertaining to watch.” Shaw said.

“That’s it? I’m like a TV show for you?” You said, despite the simplicity of his answer you felt almost a little, disappointed? His answer was simple, yet somehow you hoped he’d say more.

Shaw seemed to pick up on your disappointment. “Why do you look so upset? It makes you look uglier.”

Trying to keep yourself calm you held your breath. You didn’t want to lose your temper with him and yet you could feel the dam starting to crack. “I’m really just entertainment for you? Or someone to buy you hotpot when you’re hungry?”

Shaw smirked. “I like when you buy me cola too.”

“That’s not the point!” You insisted. “Am I someone important to you?”

The smirk on Shaw’s face fell, replaced with a slight frown. “Does it matter?”

“Is it wrong for me to want to know what you think of me?”

“It doesn’t matter. My opinion of you is meaningless.” Shaw said and took another bite. You pressed your lips together, again an odd feeling of disappointment took over again. Still you couldn’t quite determine why you felt that way.

You stared down at the table. “Well.” You started. “For the record. You’re someone important to me.” You said.

Shaw was quiet, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to look up at him. To see what his expression was. You rubbed your hands together, remembering the warmth of Shaw’s hand when he held yours during the first interview.

The silence lasted for quite a while. Your eyes stared focused on the table, avoiding Shaw’s eyes. Your heart felt like a jackhammer in your chest and no matter what you couldn’t seem to get it to slow down.

“I’m important to you?” Shaw said, his voice just hardly above a whisper. There was a quality in his voice, something that sounded almost vulnerable. Something that you’d never heard from him before.

Still, you kept your head down. “You are.” You spoke in a matching quiet tone. “You’re someone I care about. I don’t always understand you, but I want to.” You kept your clammy hands clasped together tightly, and your head bowed. Your appetite left as you sat there with the tension to thick you could cut through it.

After gathering your courage your eyes lifted to see Shaw’s face. He wasn’t looking at you, his eyes seemed focused somewhere else. His face was devoid of emotion, yet in his eyes you could catch some of that vulnerability.

“Shaw?” You asked. He didn’t answer you, staring into the middle distance. Your gaze fell to Shaw's hand, resting on the table. Watching him you remembered how warm his hand had been when he held it. How it seemed to calm you when you felt overwhelmed.

Moving slowly you took Shaw’s hand in yours. Shaw’s eyes broke from their trance to look at your hand. You tried to figure out what he was thinking, as you watched him the vulnerability in his eyes switched to what looked like panic, then a moment later. His expression closed off again into his usual neutral expression.

“You like holding my hand huh?” Shaw said, his voice also returning to its usual teasing tone. You glared at him then let the tension in your shoulder relax.

“If you don't like it you can tell me.” You snapped back.

Shaw’s lips curled into his classic smirk. “It’s not the worst.” He pushed the last bites of his food to the side with his other hand. “But your hand is all sweaty.”

You ‘humphed’ and tried to pull your hand away, but as you tried Shaw’s hand tightened around yours keeping you there. Once you realized that he didn’t want to let go of your hand you stopped pulling away. Letting his hand hold yours. Still, you did try and avoid his gaze. Something about the way his eyes seemed to pierce you managed to make your heart nearly stop.

“Are you done?” Shaw asked after some more time.

“Huh?” You looked back at him.

“With your food?” He said as if it was obvious. The tips of your ears turned red as you realized.

“Oh.” You looked down at the table. “Yeah I’m done.” Shaw’s hand left yours as he gathered up the trash from the table to throw it away. After you watched him for a while you got up from the table too. Your heart was still racing in your chest, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as before.

Shaw didn’t seem to mention or regard the moment that had just occurred. He threw away the trash and the two of you walked back to the car. You walked a bit behind him, your hand feeling cold without his. Clutching your hands together you tried to replicate that warmth, mostly to no avail.

This time you took the wheel to drive back to the hotel. Shaw leaned against the passenger seat and fiddled with the radio. You kept driving despite your heavy eyes, you could already imagine crawling under the bed covers to get some sleep.

------------------------

An unfortunate part of having Shaw be your fake date was needing to share a hotel room. You’d managed to quickly switch room types so there’d be two beds still. Sharing with him was far from ideal.

The feeling of crawling into bed was almost euphoric. The cool sheets and heavy comforter practically forced your eyes shut. You hardly cared for your surroundings as Shaw flipped through television channels. As you laid there you listened to his movements, constantly aware of his place in the room.

Being there your mind kept wandering back to that table where you ate dinner. The way you felt sitting there, with your hands clammy and heart racing. How strangely disappointed you’d felt when Shaw didn’t tell you what he was thinking. Then the vulnerability he showed for just that short moment. Why did he make you feel that way. Why did you care so much?

However, you fell asleep, before you could find your answer.

------------------------

When you woke up in the morning, your body was still heavy with sleep. At the sound of the alarm you and Shaw had both dragged yourselves out of bed to get ready for the second day of the film shoot.

The drive to the set consisted mostly of the two of you desperately downing cups of coffee to prepare for the day, hoping that maybe with enough coffee your leftover exhaustion would dissipate. With not much success unfortunately.

The second day of filing was much longer than the first day, and with the preparation from the day before everyone seemed to be moving much faster than it had the day before. By the time the two of you were on set, production assistants were moving everyone around to prepare for the first part of the day.

Even with the long shoot day time seemed to move quickly. The challenges moved quickly and you could barely process the passage of time until you were nearly the end of the day.

Before you knew it you were wrapping up and doing the final interviews. You stood in the same place you had the day before for the introductory interviews. Still with Shaw standing by your side and getting into the right position.

Yesterday you’d felt panicked doing that first interview. Today, your exhaustion seemed to override your anxiety and stage fright. As they prepared the cameras to shoot your hand felt cold again. Just like it had many times over the past two days.

“You two ready?” The director asked. Your head snapped up to acknowledge the director’s question.

“I’m ready.” Shaw said.

“Me too.” You said, clearing your throat. The director nodded then began the final interview. You answered the question and tried to ignore the voice in your head that told you to take Shaw’s hand again. As much as you wanted to, you clasped your hands together, desperate to ignore that voice that seemed to only get louder.

The shoot ended as the sun was going down. The last few rays of light still peaked over the horizon as the crew packed everything up and said their goodbyes.

The final remnants of daylight faded on the drive home. Your eyes kept falling shut but you forced them open as you drove the car. In the passenger seat Shaw stared out the window. He must have been feeling tired as well because he wasn’t talking as much as he usually would.

“Thank you.” You said as you stopped to drop Shaw off. “Thank you, again. For doing the show, I know it probably wasn’t your ideal way to spend your weekend but I hope maybe it was a little fun?”

“It was fine.” Shaw said. “It was pretty entertaining to watch you try so hard.”

“Well I wanted to give it a fair shot!” You explained. “But you did pretty good. I was really impressed.”

Shaw smirked. “I put effort into all the things I do. Even dumb things like that show.”

“Don’t you skip class like, constantly?”

“Sure but I still have top grades and an academic scholarship.” Shaw said. “Work smarter not harder.”

“Regardless.” You said to change the topic. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you, and I owe you. Big time.”

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his bag. Sliding out of the passenger side door he leaned down to meet your eyes through the window. His gaze held that usual teasing tone of his, but this time something about that look was making your heart race.

“Well, I’ll keep in touch. Gotta get that big favor from you.” Shaw teased.

“Goodnight Shaw.” You said, fighting past your racing heart.

“Goodnight babe.” Shaw said. Your heart felt like it could break your ribs with how hard it beat, your cheeks and tips of your ears turning bright pink as he laughed and turned to walk away. Leaving you alone in your flustered state.

You drove away, your face bright red.

“That brat.” You hissed under your breath.

------------------------

You got a short day to rest after the shoot before returning to work. After that you went back to the office to get through the work that had started to pile up while you were preoccupied with the couple’s program. You had new proposals to write, other ones to flesh out and rework at the risk of another lecture and possible rejection from Victor.

The next week or so went past with little word from Shaw. You’d texted back and forth a few times. Mostly you giving him updates on the editing for the program, or him sending you some slightly teasing and maybe a little insulting jabs. Nothing out of the ordinary for the two of you.

Yet, with every message you reacted differently to how you would have before. A month ago, those messages would have annoyed you. Make you a bit frustrated before moving on with your day. Maybe trying to think of ways to tease him back for what he’s said.

Now though, it wasn’t like that. Every notification from him made your heart jump into your throat, every tease made you feel more flustered, the jabs even hurt at times. In a way they hadn’t before. When you responded you wanted to make him laugh, or maybe even say something nice.

You wanted him to like you.

The one thing you couldn’t figure out was when these feelings had started to change. When you started to care so much, when he started to mean so much to you. Had the change happened while you were filming the show? Maybe it was when you sat at that table eating dinner together, or maybe when he held your hand during that first interview.

Maybe you realized it subconsciously even before the shoot. Maybe you started to realize how you felt when you first asked him to be on the show. Even if you couldn’t quite place when you fell, it started to weigh heavier and heavier on your mind.

Fridays were the hardest day of the week in your opinion. Somehow they managed to be even more difficult than Mondays. You could see the weekend in sight and yet it was still so far away. The exhaustion of the week was starting to weigh on your shoulders. You’d already planned on spending most of your weekend resting and recovering. You had takeout menus set out and some television to catch up on.

Staring at the clock you watched the later hours of the afternoon tick by. The piles of proposals and unread emails felt like they were staring you in the face.

Your text chime threw you from your thoughts. Your eyes turned away from the brightness of your computer monitor. Pushing your desk chair away from your desk you leaned back and checked your phone.

Shaw: Oi. Are you working late tonight?

MC: I better not be.

Shaw: Good, come to the Live House tonight

You stared at the screen. Your tired eyes and end of the week exhaustion told you that you should just go home and sleep. Then, there was the other part of you, the part that felt excited about getting to see Shaw, and getting to spend time with him again. Even if he just ended up teasing you all night.

MC: I’ll go but I don’t know how long I can stay

Shaw: I’ll tell you when you can go home

Shaw: Meet me at 7. Isolated is performing tonight

MC: I’ll see you there.

There was just barely enough time for you to change clothes at home before you had to head out towards the Live House. You put on some more casual clothes, better suited for going out to a rock club rather than an office.

The evening air was cool against your skin. A light breeze blowing and rustling the tree branches. You walked down the sidewalk, passing others on their way to their Friday plans as you walked towards yours.

It didn’t take long to get into Live House. You got there early enough that a line hadn’t quite formed yet. Inside, loud rock music played over the speakers, you watched staff setting up amps and microphones for Isolated’s later performance. A sizable crowd of people was already starting to grow. With patrons first flocking towards the bar to start drinking before the show starts.

You pushed through the growing crowd of people to get to the bar. After managing to squeeze into the front of the bar you quickly tried to flag down a bartender.

You ordered your drink quickly to try and get out from the group flocking towards the bar. Your fingers tapped against the wood anxiously until the bartender slid your drink across the bar. Once the cup was in your hand you got out of the crowd quickly circling in on the bar.

Checking the time you leaned against the wall, there was still a few minutes before the performance started. You watched as people wandered around the venue, groups of people chatting together, others dancing along to the music playing over the speakers.

Sipping your drink you pulled out your phone. You’d hoped that maybe Shaw had texted you, even just to see if you had actually decided to come. After checking your messages and finding nothing, and after a long sip of your drink you sent Shaw a quick message.

MC: I’m at Live House, break a leg out there!

Nursing your drink you kept checking your phone for a response. Still as the time got closer to the show time you started to doubt that he would respond before he went on stage. Finishing your drink you shoved your phone back into your bag.

You pushed yourself through the thickening crowd near the front of the stage, and with some careful pushing and squeezing you finally managed to get into the front.

The moment Shaw was on stage your eyes were locked onto him. At first he didn’t notice you, getting himself positioned for the performance to start. It wasn’t until his bass was in his hands that his eyes swept across the venue, his eyes finally stopping when he saw you. His lips curled up into a smile, and as your eyes met his you smiled back, raising your hand to give him the smallest of waves. His expression shifted to a look you hadn’t quite seen before, he looked happy but also like was trying to hide it.

At the front of the stage Jensen introduced the band, the roar of the crowd breaking you from your trance. Your eyes quickly took in the rest of the stage, within a few moments of introducing the band they started the first song.

You nodded your head along with the music. This wasn’t the first time you’d heard this song, still your heart raced like it was the first time. You watched the band as they performed, Jensen singing the lyrics with a passion and intensity you could only get from a live performance.

While you did watch the band your eyes kept falling on Shaw as he played. Watching him perform was like nothing else. It was almost like he was a different person when he was up on stage with his bass. His guarded smirks melted away, his defenses seemed to come down, although he wasn’t really smiling up on stage he looked happier than you had almost ever seen him. Your eyes couldn’t move away from him, focused on his expression and the carefree way he moved and harmonized with Jensen’s voice.

You could hear your pulse in your ears, unable to keep yourself from moving to the music but your eyes never moving away from Shaw, watching him perform the world seemed to disappear around you, leaving only him in your vision.

Time had completely escaped you until the band was finishing their final song in the set. The crowd cheered loudly around you as they finished their final song.

Shaw, upon strumming his final note lifted his gaze to meet yours once again. His carefree expression looking straight at your excited and starry eyed face. He shot you a signature grin for a moment before his gaze was turned away to focus back on the band, although your eyes never left him until he left the stage.

Twenty minutes after Isolated finished their set, you noticed Adam and Jensen approaching the bar. Waving to you once they noticed you standing there.

“Hey! I thought I saw you in the crowd.” Jensen said, stopping when he was standing beside you.

“I was in the front.” You said. “You all did a great job out there.”

“Thanks, I think the crowd had a good energy tonight” Adam said.

A memory of what Shaw had said a few weeks ago flashed through your mind. “Oh Adam how’s your wrist? Is it better?”

Adam looked at you confused. “My wrist?”

“Yeah?” Your brows furrowed. “Shaw told me you sprained your wrist, which is why you had to cancel the show the other week.”

Jensen and Adam exchanged a look. “We didn’t cancel the performance. Shaw did.”

You blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“He texted us a few days before the performance and said he couldn’t come. Something else came up I guess? He wouldn’t tell us. It was really weird though, even for him.” Jensen said.

You stood in surprise for a moment or two, taking in what they had just told you.

“Shaw’s a strange guy. It’s water under the bridge now, it’s not like we’ve haven’t had to cancel performances last minute before.” Adam shrugged. You nodded with them, although your mind still stuck on what they had said.

Once they’d gotten their drinks Adam and Jensen slipped into the rest of the crowd away from the bar. Leaving you alone again for a few moments.

Shaw had made up the story about Adam being hurt. All so he could be on the show with you? Even though he’d pretended not to care? You thought of the way your cheeks burned when he sent you texts, or how sad you felt when he let go of your hand, or how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during the show. How somehow he’d managed to take over your mind.

Your mind replayed that scene at the hotpot restaurant when you’d asked him over and over. The way you wanted to convince him to agree so badly. Had that all really been for the sake of the show? You could have found someone else, you could have convinced Minor, or bit the bullet and asked Gavin. But you didn’t, you wanted him.

“There ya are.” Shaw said sliding in to stand beside you. You slid a glass over to him to a raised brow from Shaw.

“I ordered you a drink. Rum and mixed cola, your favorite.” Shaw picked up the glass, taking a small sip. “You did a really good job tonight, as always.” You said.

Shaw set the glass down on the bar. “I saw you watching me the whole show.”

“You always tell me to watch you, that I should only look at you on stage.” You reminded him.

Shaw’s smile grew. “That’s right. I’m the most important person for you to look at.” His smile made your heart speed up again, just like it had so many times recently.

After watching him take a few more sips you cleared your throat. “Shaw, can I ask you something? And you have to be honest.” He didn’t answer as he sipped his drink, but his expression gave you the go ahead. “Why did you agree to do the show with me?”

Shaw’s expression hardened. “Did you forget? Adam-”

“I know Adam didn’t sprain his wrist.” You interjected. “I asked him, he told me that he didn't.” Shaw was for once, seemingly silent although you could see the millions of thoughts going through his mind when you looked in his eyes.

You waited for Shaw to speak, but he still didn’t seem to know what exactly to say. The normally smooth and quick witted Shaw was still. So you continued. “I like you Shaw, and I think it’s more than a friend type of like.” You made sure your words were spoken carefully. “And, I think.” You took a deep breath in and out. “I think you may like me too. In a more than a friend way.”

Your heart was a lump in your throat, your hands a shaking mess as you spoke. You couldn’t even force yourself to look in Shaw’s eyes, afraid of what you’d see.

After some time you felt the familiar feeling of Shaw’s warm hand holding yours. Your gaze shifted just enough to stare at his hand, now tightly holding to you so your hand could stop shaking.

Building up your courage you forced yourself to look up at Shaw’s face. His amber eyes were staring right into your soul, his eyes showed emotion you rarely see in him. The vulnerability was back, this time, looking at you directly.

“Shaw?” You whispered. You knew he couldn’t hear you over the music, you couldn’t hear yourself over your racing heart.

Shaw was saying something. Quietly, so you couldn’t hear him over the music. HIs lips moved to say words you couldn't determine. You leaned forward hoping to catch what he was saying but still couldn’t hear him.

“Shaw I can’t hear-” Shaw cut you off, pulling you close to him, his lips hoving just beside your ear.

“You’re important to me.” He whispered. “And I do like you.”

Your cheeks burning, you turned your head to look in his eyes to determine his honesty. But what you found there was the same vulnerability, the same honesty, the softness you only saw in the most fleeting of moments.

The next moments happened without a single thought. You moved your head to kiss him, one hand holding his, the other on the back of his neck. Your heart beat faster than it ever had, but now instead of anxiety, it raced out of joy. Shaw’s other hand came up to hold your face to keep you there. Wanting to kiss you again and again.

Grinning as you put your arms around Shaw’s neck. and in your euphoria, you could hardly hear the voices of the group approaching the bar, loudly complaining about the sudden rain that had started seemingly out of nowhere, and their prediction that it wasn’t going to lighten up anytime soon.

You had a feeling they were right.

#mlqc #mlqc shaw #mldd #shaw ling #ling xiao #yeon siho #mr love queens choice #mr love fanfic #mr love game #shaw x mc

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mickeymouse-moshpit · 4 years ago

Text

street lights, people

A/N: Hello, kind readers of this fic that I have taken entirely too long to update. I’m so sorry for the wait! And I also have to apologize because there is a whole first part of this that is stored on my computer, which is currently in the mail for repairs. I will post that part as well once it’s back, just please hold on and know that 1) there’s definitely context to being on Fennec’s bike in it and 2) there will be spicy things in the next part. Anyway, uh, if there’s typos I’m very sorry, and enjoy!

Description: Fennec and peds!Reader go on a date

Warnings: Some brief verbal harassment, brief description of dissociating, a little angst if you squint hard enough, Fennec and peds!Reader doing their thing

Rating: T

Word count: 2.7K

January 24th

Read part one here

You followed her out and down the lined path, hands sitting in the pockets of your jacket to keep warm. She threaded her arm through yours, and led you down the street to a book shop of all places.

“I remembered you telling me about that new series you wanted to read, something about gay witches? And you’re always talking about how much you want to go to the bookstore but you never do. So, go browse. I want to see what your process looks like.”

“Th—that’s really thoughtful. I don’t know that I really have a true process, but yeah let’s go look!” You opened the door for her, a light going on inside you as you got your first waft of bookstore smell: the paper, the ink. You got the first wave of the noise: the low music playing in the background, the people there talking in hushed tones. You couldn’t make out any conversations happening, could barely hear that there were lyrics in the music. You stopped for a moment, scanning the layout of the room. Your eyes landed first on the display of bookmarks and postcards, making a mental note to get one or two of each to remember this little town so you could find it one day. But then your train of thought halted: could you come here alone?

Best not to dwell.

Your eyes resumed their scanning, noting the different sections. You wandered to the right, letting your gaze drift over the painting beside the door. It was line art of two bodies intertwined, splashed with color to resemble a galaxy where they met. The notecard below it gave the title and artist’s name. And a price. You were struck by how nice it would look on your art wall. But that was for another day.

You started your first pass through the stacks, letting your eyes skate over the spines of the books, pausing to read the note cards when they gave a recommendation from one of the workers. Your fingers started to take on a mind of their own, catching on books here and there, bringing them out for you to investigate. Every couple of them, you would open to the first page, let the author’s words try to entice you. You put most of them back, but a green paperback one with a bent cover stayed behind. You held it close as you continued on, pacing with no purpose at all. If someone didn’t know you, they would think you had a system, but really you were just letting yourself be on autopilot. That is, until you got to the section that housed the series you had read about and wanted.

“This is it!” You hoped your whisper would convey your excitement to Fennec. You had been watching book recommendation videos and this series had come up, promising both a love story and adventure. “I hope th—they do! They’ve got both!”

You plucked both the paperback and hardcover from the shelves, adding them to your little stash. Your small smile would not leave your face.

Fennec watched as you dragged yourself away from the section, mentally patting herself on the back for this idea. You looked so happy, at peace. If she was a part of that? She would consider herself both clever and immensely lucky. As she followed you back to one of the sections you had drifted through, she watched your perusing turn into a hunt. You furrowed your brow as you sank down to kneel and scan for what she wasn’t quite sure. She pulled two more books from the shelf.

“Have you read this one?” She held up a copy of a book called Circe.

“No, but someone at work was talking about it the other day.” She hoped you wouldn’t be disappointed, and wasn’t disappointed when you slid the book back into its place with a mischievous look. Fennec’s mind went straight into the gutter for a moment, imagining you in a very different situation but with the same look.

“Good, you’ll borrow my copy.” There was no arguing, it was a fact. She would.

You stood up again, still holding onto the other book. You were off again, and while she thought you clutching four books to your chest was possibly the cutest thing she had ever seen, you were going to drop one if you kept getting distracted. When you stopped again, she held her hands out.

“Here, let me carry them. You use your hands to browse.”

You nodded once and sank down again, grabbing one of the recommended titles and popping up again. You paused, before setting it on the pile Fennec was holding, warmth building in your face as she gave you one of her smiles.

You set off with one more stop in mind. The waiting room library at your office was lacking in chapter books as of late. You let your feet carry you to the children’s section.

“What are we doing here? I didn’t take you for the Warrior Cats type. “

“The selection of chapter books in my waiting room is looking a little sparse here lately. I want to see what the kids are into so I can update the wishlist.”

Fennec looked at you like you had suddenly turned purple with polka dots and sprouted antennae.

“I have a bookshelf in the waiting room, and I always make it clear to kids and parents that the books on it are meant to be read, cherished, read again, both while waiting and when they go home, with no expectation of return. The Little Golden Books usually do come back, just like most of the other books meant for the teeny-tinies. The chapter books get sparse and don’t tend to come back, but I like it that way. It means I’ve got another reader who gets to learn about the magic of words.”

“But where do the books come from?”

“Well, at first it was just me. There were some parents who made it very clear when I mentioned the shelf that they were perfectly capable of providing their kids with books and how dare I assume otherwise. There were others that you could tell were extremely grateful. There were also a few that had a problem with it but not for any good reason but I’m sure you know what kind of parents I’m getting at.”

She did.

“Then one day I was in the little shop in town and one of the little ones who had started on chapter books saw me and ran up, telling me all about how she had saved her allowance and she was able to get the sequel to the book she had gotten from me. The owner of the shop heard it, and when I went to buy the book I had picked out along with some chapter books for the waiting room, he told me he would let me start a wishlist and he would put it by the register for people to see and maybe buy one or two.”

“Do you usually get what you ask for?”

“It depends on the time of year. During the holidays people get more generous so it’s time to update the list. Hence the reading castle.” You gestured to the structure before you, an alcove that had a castle facade and was filled with still more books. “And the wall of chapter books.”

Before she could formulate a response, you had pulled out your phone and started making a list. Fennec watched you with an emotion she wasn’t sure how to name. The earnest way you took on your task had her pulling out her own phone while you weren’t watching to send a message to the garage group chat. When you had finished, you brushed a hand over her shoulder as you walked by.

You wandered to your last stop: the display at the front. You picked out a pack of bookmarks that were little magnetic trees before turning your attention to the display of postcards. You chose one that was a picture of the gazebo in the middle of town at night, surrounded by twinkle lights with “wish you were here” in small text at the bottom.

You walked up to the register and Fennec plopped your pile of finds on the counter.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” The older salesperson behind the register had half a smirk on his face as he queried you. “I haven’t seen someone quite as methodical as you, even covered the section for children.”

You weren’t sure if the sarcastic tone was real or meant as a lighthearted joke, but either way you felt your cheeks warm again, and not in a good way. You wondered for a moment if the ground would open up and swallow you whole. You felt Fennec’s arm wrap its way around your torso again as the salesperson started ringing up the books.

“Being thorough is one of the best things about her. And this is just me, but I think it would be kind of nice if my kid’s pediatrician knew enough about what their media looked like to be able to talk to them at their level about things other than their health.”

“Oh so she’s a big kid is what you’re saying? What, does she play with dolls, or are toys more for the bedroom?” That definitely wasn’t meant in a kind way.

Fennec’s arm tightened around you before you got the chance to just slip away and out the door, as if she knew that was something you might do.

“I would stop talking about them if I were you.” Her voice was low, had taken on a dangerous edge that matched what others saw in her leather jacket.

He got the hint, hurrying up with the transaction. When the final total came up, you reached into your pocket, not really feeling anything for that moment or registering the number that flashed in your general direction. Before you could get your card liberated, Fennec was already sliding hers into the chip reader. You wanted to protest, wanted to tell her it was too much, but the interaction was a sea witch that had stolen your voice and you could only look on as the books and other small items were wrapped and put into a bag and Fennec was turning you in a circle to get you out of the shop.

You weren’t even aware that your feet had moved until you were in front of her bike and she had distributed the books into the two saddle bags. She faced you and put her hands on your shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

You looked at her, answering her question with the question mark that had seemingly etched itself on your face.

“Hello? Earth to Doc? Are you in there?” She gave your shoulders a little shake, before she wrapped you in her arms. You finally felt like you could take a deep breath again as you rested your head in the crook of her neck, letting the pressure she was providing ground you again.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into the collar of her sweater.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. He should be sorry. If he hadn’t stopped talking, I would have made him sorry.”

“I wanted to stop you from paying, it was too much.”

“No. I wanted to do that, it was the plan from the beginning.”

“Really?” You pulled back slightly, peeking at her, searching her face but not having much luck in the low light.

“Yes really. Now, I had something else planned, do you want to know what it is so you can decide if you still want to do it?”

You considered it, but the phantom hollow in your chest and the way your arms and legs still didn’t feel like they belonged to you gave you your answer.

“I want to know, but not yet. Keep it secret, show me next time. I’ve got my own idea though. Will you take me home? I want to show you the Books.”

***

You didn’t want to let go of her, but you needed to if you were going to go inside where it was warm. So you did. When she had taken the books out and put them back in their bag, you headed for the three steps that led up to the door of your half of the duplex. You unlocked the door, nearly dropping the keys because your hands were so cold. You caught them before Fennec could tease you about it.

You clicked on the light in the entryway, lighting the way as she took a few steps inside again. You took the bag from her, and nodded to your left. Behind the stairs to the loft, there was a doorway. You walked through it and to the right, knowing the room in the darkness. You stepped on the clicker for the floor lamp, bathing the room in a soft glow. You walked over to the electric fireplace that added some extra heat to the room, switching it on.

You went back to where she was standing in the doorway, like she wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands. You took them in yours and brought her in.

Her eyes widened as she took in the space.

The room screamed comfort. All four walls were covered by bookshelves that reached the ceiling, with two interruptions. The first was around the fireplace, if you could even call it that. There was a painting in front of it, but her eyes were too busy wandering to take it in just yet. Her gaze drifted to the window, where either you or the previous owners had built a seat large and plush enough to recline in. While that should have been the star of the room, it wasn’t.

In front of the fireplace was a massive sectional sofa. She was sure it had to have a pull out option you were taking advantage of because it looked more like a bed-sofa hybrid with the way the middle was seemingly filled to the brim with throw pillows and faux-fur blankets.

You stood watching her take it in, as she eventually started looking at the books lining the shelves, punctuated by the odd piece of memorabilia. There was such a variety, all alphabetized, with the only delineation by genre she could see being poetry and prose. As she browsed, you placed your books on the window seat, and from under it produced two stamps: one to mark the books as yours, and one to put a place for people who borrowed them to sign. Others always asked if it was to make sure they came back, but you always replied with no, it was to make sure people could see if they had borrowed them before. You put the books onto the rolling cart that already had a small pile to be put away. Some of them were new, some you had reread and needed to return.

Task complete, you perched on the back of the couch to watch her.

“I should start referring to you as a dragon. You’ve got quite the hoard, baby.” Her words were quiet, wrapped with kindness. “It’s impressive. Thank you for showing me this part of you.”

“I just really like them.” Your smile was growing as she got closer to you. You stood and wrapped yourself around her again. “Does that make you the maiden in need of rescue?”

“Oh, no, you can keep me here as long as you want. Besides, don’t you know the dragon needs saving too sometimes?”

“In that case…” You paused, stealing yourself. “Would you stay a while? I can make tea, we can read, if you’re okay with you could do that pressure thing again?”

“You mean will I hold you close, let you hide your face in my neck for a minute again? Let you whisper things you don’t think I’ll hear but I will anyway?”

You nodded once.

“In that case, I’ll do ‘that pressure thing’ for as long as you need me to. But you have to let me try out this couch nest thing because it looks amazing.”

“Of course, but the first rule of the dragon’s lair is this: no jackets.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More author’s notes: if you’re curious about what series peds!Reader was looking for, it’s These Witches Don’t Burn and its sequel by Isabel Sterling. She wants Fennec to read Circe by Madeline Miller, and she bought The Song of Achilles, also by Madeline Miller

Tagging: @phoenixhalliwell @promiscuoussatan @maybege @jangofctts

#street lights people #Fennec Shand x reader #fennec shand #biker!Fennec #biker au #the mandalorian fanfic #star wars fanfic #wlw #the mandalorian fanfiction #Star Wars au

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aboveallarescuer · 5 years ago

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How Dany assesses the counsel she receives and makes her own choices - Battle of Yunkai

This will be a series of posts meant to show that Dany is open to receiving advice and criticism, but that she doesn’t act solely based on what other people tell her to do. On the opposite, GRRM makes great effort to write a Dany who most often merges different viewpoints and/or finds her own solutions to the problems she’s facing. I won’t include every single decision she ever made (e.g. her decisions at court are often made without counsel and her execution of the ritual to hatch the dragon eggs was already exhaustively and deftly analyzed by other people), but there will be plenty of instances in this series that will prove my point nonetheless.

Since Dany doesn't receive a lot of advice in this chapter and I want to highlight her agency and skills here, I’m putting the verdict above so that people who don’t want to read the entire meta can at least find its synthesized points right away.

Chapter (s):

ASOS Daenerys IV

The advice Dany receives:

Both Jorah and Barristan warn Dany that she won't convince neither the Stormcrows nor the Second Sons to switch allegiances.

Verdict:

In this chapter, Dany:

Applies Barristan's lessons when she willingly chooses to assess the enemy forces and makes a reasonable guess of how many men the Yunkish forces have.

Has in mind that the sellswords, who are fighting on horseback, are more likely to cause damage and kill too many of her freedmen. (This will inform her plan later)

Embraces her limitations to mock those who will underestimate her for them. (And the author will give plenty of reasons to challenge the simplistic notion that Dany is just a young girl who does not know the ways of war.)

Applies historical knowledge to support her opinion that her forces will overwhelm her enemies'.

Maintains her self-composure and offers excellent comebacks when the captains and the envoy try to slut-shame and/or sexually harass her.

Is doing what she's doing for no other reason than to free the slaves in Yunkai:

She didn't have to worry about the freedmen's safety when they take part in the battle for her, but she does because it would otherwise render her fight for them meaningless.

She could have kept the chest for herself, but she didn't.

She could have taken other chests from the city like she suggests she might do, but she promises instead that "Yunkai will not be burned or plundered" (and that will bite her in the ass later in ADWD).

The only thing she requires is that the former slaves are "allowed to choose freely from among their masters' possessions" and that they are given "food, clothing, coin and goods". Doing this doesn't benefit her in any way, it only helps the slaves.

Outlines a tactical plan that is motivated by her desire to prevent a high number of freedmen casualties and that implies knowledge of:

The Yunkish forces' tactical formation.

The basic topography of the area.

Her enemies' weaknesses and how to exploit them ("I made no promises about tonight", "We will take them under cover of this darkness", "they will see hundreds of campfires burning").

Stays in the room while her captains decide how to better execute her plan. We don't know how much she contributed to the conversation, but it nevertheless shows her willingness to learn more.

When Daario shows up and declares that he and his men will fight for her, she:

Considers if he might be a spy, worries if there are others and is initially suspicious if he's just trying to save his own skin.

Only changes her mind when she sees that he killed the other commanders and that the dragons are fond of him.

Knows that she can't be too distrustful in general, despite the prophecies.

Realizes that the Stormcrows switching allegiances will guarantee that the Yunkish are overwhelmed.

Is more morally flexible concerning the sellswords than one might expect from a traditional hero(ine) fighting against slavery.

Beginning of the chapter

ASOS Daenerys IV is set in motion here:

Her Dothraki scouts had told her how it was, but Dany wanted to see for herself. Ser Jorah Mormont rode with her through a birchwood forest and up a slanting sandstone ridge. “Near enough,” he warned her at the crest.

Dany reined in her mare and looked across the fields, to where the Yunkish host lay athwart her path. Whitebeard had been teaching her how best to count the numbers of a foe. “Five thousand,” she said after a moment.

Even though her Dothraki scouts had already done so, Dany wants to apply Barristan's teachings and assess the enemy forces by herself. She estimates five thousand, which Jorah considers to be a fair guess. I would also note that, while it's not explicitly acknowledged that Dany would know how to describe the terrain the way the narrative does (in the parts in bold above), she is still sufficiently aware of it to concoct a successful outline of where each of her forces should strike the Yunkish later, as we'll see below.

Jorah notes where each sellsword company is positioned and Dany realizes that the Yunkai'i are located in the center. She asks if they lead slave soldiers and the knight confirms that they do, but they aren't equal of Unsullied. Jorah thinks they can "easily" defeat their army, but Yunkai has been forewarned, so any fight might result in more casualties than Dany is willing to accept.

Dany considered. The slaver host seemed small compared to her own numbers, but the sellswords were ahorse. She’d ridden too long with Dothraki not to have a healthy respect for what mounted warriors could do to foot. The Unsullied could withstand their charge, but my freedmen will be slaughtered.

First, here we see Dany using the knowledge she acquired from living with the Dothraki to make a more precise assessment of how her forces might fare against her enemies.

Second, I've seen Dany be criticized before for "breaking" her word with the slavers ... You know, these people who think selling other people is acceptable. This little fact already makes this criticism a moot point at best and slavery apologia at worst, but even then ...

Let's not forget that thinking Dany was "breaking" her word with the slavers means accepting that slavery is valid and that they have the right to sell other human beings.

Let's not forget that Dany's fear that too many of her freedmen will die is what leads her to decide to attack Yunkai and the sellswords when they don't expect it, as the passage above shows.

Let's not forget how awfully we see the Yunkai'i treating their slaves in Tyrion's chapters.

Let's remember all of this.

So, with these considerations in mind, Dany decides:

“The slavers like to talk,” she said. “Send word that I will hear them this evening in my tent. And invite the captains of the sellsword companies to call on me as well. But not together. The Stormcrows at midday, the Second Sons two hours later.”

Jorah thinks they might refuse the invitation, but Dany is quite certain that they won't:

“They’ll come. They will be curious to see the dragons and hear what I might have to say, and the clever ones will see it for a chance to gauge my strength.” She wheeled her silver mare about. “I’ll await them in my pavilion.”

I have no doubt that the previous reactions of the Qartheen and the Astapori to her dragons are informing her attitude here.

Negotiation talks

On my rereads, I've noticed that the negotiation talks in ASOS Daenerys IV are actually quite formulaic: a) the commander/envoy underestimate and/or insult Dany, b) Dany shows self-assurance and/or makes a threat and c) Dany makes a proposal only to be rebuked. So, instead of analyzing dialogue by dialogue chronologically, I think it's more interesting to display these patterns and focus on Dany's voice to highlight her rhetorical skills.

With both the Stormcrows and the Second Sons, Dany points out their blatant military disadvantages while embracing her youth and ignorance (because otherwise they will use these factors to hold her in low regard) and pretending to underestimate herself (because to do so right away means to undermine their propensity to do that):

“Five hundred of your Stormcrows against ten thousand of my Unsullied,” said Dany. “I am only a young girl and do not understand the ways of war, yet these odds seem poor to me.”

“It is true that I am only a young girl, and do not know the ways of war. Explain to me how you propose to defeat ten thousand Unsullied with your five hundred. Innocent as I am, these odds seem poor to me.”

The captain of the Stormcrows, Prendahl na Ghezn, is adamant that they don't stand alone, for they have the support of both the Second Sons and "the stalwart men of Yunkai". Dany questions if the Second Sons will stay by their side with such poor odds, but Prendahl doesn't flinch. Misogyny undoubtedly plays a part in his reaction, but there's also the fact that, as Jorah later told her, "[l]ikely he had kin in Astapor".

The captain of the Second Sons, Mero, doesn't even bother offering counterarguments. In his mind, since the Second Sons won battles with worse odds and have him as a leader, of course it will be easy to win against a "little girl".

With both Prendahl and Mero, Dany applies her historical knowledge to support her case:

“Woman?” She chuckled. “Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.” Dany met his stare. “I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo’s riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.”

“The Second Sons have faced worse odds and run. At Qohor, when the Three Thousand made their stand. Or do you deny it?”

The first passage, in particular, is often quoted by fans, and rightfully so. All of the three men with whom Dany negotiates try to underestimate her on behalf of her gender and/or by sexualizing/slut-shaming her. It speaks volumes that Dany is able to maintain her self-composure and offer such an excellent comeback. She knows what happened to the last man who dismissed her as "an ignorant whore", after all.

In fact, that's not the only rebut that Dany makes for being reduced to her sexuality. Mero's misogyny is particularly insiduous for pretending to be flatterous while he's actually both underestimating her authority and sexually harassing her. That's why her responses to him are more threatening than to the others:

“If you bring the Second Sons over to my side, I might not have you gelded.”

“No need. After my eunuchs cut it off, I can examine it at my leisure.”

“So it is from you they get their courage?” Dany turned to Ser Jorah. “When the battle is joined, kill this one first.”

The last example is particularly noteworthy. In Game of Thrones, the writers have show!Dany tell her advisor to kill Mero first after he is gone. In the books, however, Mero tries to paint himself as the one that gives his soldiers determination to fight only to be undermined by Dany, who simply asks Jorah to kill him first. As we can see, Dany acts like a boss here and undercuts her enemies' misogyny multiple times.

Then we get to the proposals she makes to each man she interacts with.

This is her proposal for the commander of the Stormcrows:

“Once battle is joined, do not think to ask for quarter. Join me now, however, and you shall keep the gold the Yunkaii paid you and claim a share of the plunder besides, with greater rewards later when I come into my kingdom. Fight for the Wise Masters, and your wages will be death. Do you imagine that Yunkai will open its gates when my Unsullied are butchering you beneath the walls?”

[...] “Tell me this—are the Stormcrows slave or free?”

“We are a brotherhood of free men,” Sallor declared.

“Good.” Dany stood. “Go back and tell your brothers what I said, then. It may be that some of them would sooner sup on gold and glory than on death. I shall want your answer on the morrow.”

Later, Dany's assumption will be validated: Daario Naharis will rather "sup on gold and glory" rather than be killed alongside his commanders. I'll get to him later.

This is her proposal for the commander of the Second Sons:

“Then stay, and fight for me. [...] Coins can be returned,” she said. “I will pay you as much and more. I have other cities to conquer, and a whole kingdom awaiting me half a world away. Serve me faithfully, and the Second Sons need never seek hire again.”

[...] “Can I have a flagon of this fine wine to take back to my captains?”

“You may have a tun. It is from the cellars of the Good Masters of Astapor, and I have wagons full of it.”

“Then give me a wagon. A token of your good regard.”

“You have a big thirst.”

“I am big all over. And I have many brothers. The Titan’s Bastard does not drink alone, Khaleesi.”

“A wagon it is, if you promise to drink to my health.”

“Done!”

If Mero had been more thoughtful and less dismissive of Dany (who had already conquered a city and freed thousands of Unsullied at this point), perhaps he would have considered that she might have used their inebriation to her favor (she did deceive the Astapori, after all, even if she was righteous in doing so). Perhaps he wouldn't have asked for an entire wagon himself if he had taken her seriously as a threat. If she were a man, I'm sure he would have been more cautious.

Finally, this is her proposal for the Yunkish envoy:

“I have a gift for you as well.” She slammed the chest shut. “Three days. On the morning of the third day, send out your slaves. All of them. Every man, woman, and child shall be given a weapon, and as much food, clothing, coin, and goods as he or she can carry. These they shall be allowed to choose freely from among their masters’ possessions, as payment for their years of servitude. When all the slaves have departed, you will open your gates and allow my Unsullied to enter and search your city, to make certain none remain in bondage. If you do this, Yunkai will not be burned or plundered, and none of your people shall be molested. The Wise Masters will have the peace they desire, and will have proved themselves wise indeed. What say you?”

This moment makes it clear that Dany is doing what she is doing for no other reason than to end slavery in Yunkai.

She didn't have to worry about the freedmen's safety when they take part in the battle for her, but she does because it would otherwise render her fight for them meaningless.

She could have kept the chest for herself, but she didn't.

However, the envoy calls Dany mad when he hears her terms, so she has her dragons burn his tokar. It's a moment that GRRM wishes had been included in the TV show, probably because it has ramifications later in ADWD (namely when Dany is trying to make peace with the Yunkish and they won't trust her word for that reason).

Battle plans

I recently came across a good meta analyzing the Battle of Yunkai from a military standpoint. I will juxtapose certain excerpts (adapted as bullet lists) from that meta with passages showing Dany's actions and statements in the books to emphasize how capable a leader Dany is becoming:

“An hour past midnight should be time enough.”

“Yes, Khaleesi,” said Rakharo. “Time for what?” 

“To mount our attack.” 

Ser Jorah Mormont scowled. “You told the sellswords—”

“—that I wanted their answers on the morrow. I made no promises about tonight. The Stormcrows will be arguing about my offer. The Second Sons will be drunk on the wine I gave Mero. And the Yunkai’i believe they have three days. We will take them under cover of this darkness.”

“They will have scouts watching for us.”

“And in the dark, they will see hundreds of campfires burning,” said Dany. “If they see anything at all.”

“Khaleesi,” said Jhogo, “I will deal with these scouts. They are no riders, only slavers on horses.”

“Just so,” she agreed. “I think we should attack from three sides. Grey Worm, your Unsullied shall strike at them from right and left, while my kos lead my horse in wedge for a thrust through their center. Slave soldiers will never stand before mounted Dothraki.” She smiled. “To be sure, I am only a young girl and know little of war. What do you think, my lords?”

1. We know that Dany had limited knowledge about warfare (after all, she's only a 14-15 year old girl), but nonetheless she outlined a rough tactical plan which her captains did not hesitate to accept.

2. She used terms such as 'left', 'right' and 'center', which suggest that her outline was based on the assumption that the enemy forces would be arrayed in some kind of linear formation. It also implies that she's familiar with the local terrain and topography. Because if the enemy camp had been protected by natural obstacles (by the coast, a mountain or a river for example), Dany's outline would not make any sense and her captains would certainly have told her so.

3. She also seems to realize her own limitations when it comes to warfare and that the implementation of military operations are better left over to her experienced captains.

4. Dany's plan made common sense and the battle turned out to be a success: The basic idea behind her plan was to let the heavy mass of Unsullied handle the sellswords on the flanks, while the Dothraki attacked the fragile slave soldiers. She deceived her foes, took the initiative, exploited her numerical superiority and took them by surprise.

5. But her plan involved certain calculated risks: Trying to direct a battle involving thousands of men at night can be very difficult, it can easily turn into a mess, and the danger of sudden panic is always present. That is probably why her armed freedmen were held back: Their lack of discipline and lack of fighting skills could easily backfire. The Unsullied, on the other hand, were very disciplined and they were also trained in night-maneuvers. (x)

As we can see, Dany's plan shows that she knows: a) the Yunkish forces' tactical formation, b) the basic topography of the area and c) her enemies' weaknesses and how to exploit them ("I made no promises about tonight", "We will take them under cover of this darkness", "they will see hundreds of campfires burning"). Even more importantly, as the reviewer acknowledges, her captains accept her plan without any objections. This is commendable, considering that it comes from someone who lacks both experience and knowledge.

This quote is also relevant:

It took an hour to work out all the details. Now begins the most dangerous time, Dany thought as her captains departed to their commands. She could only pray that the gloom of the night would hide her preparations from the foe.

To which extent Dany participated or gave feedback in the discussion above is unknown, but we can conclusively say that she at least listened to which military operations her captains would later implement to take the city, which highlights her desire to acquire more knowledge. In fact, I would argue that the author chose not to give attention to this hour of planning because he would rather focus on Dany's outline (and character development). GRRM takes great pains to give Dany agency, portray her as a competent leader and challenge the notion that she is only a young girl who doesn't know the ways of war.

Then, something unexpected happens (though, as I said above, Dany had already considered that this might have happened, even if not 100% seriously): Daario is captured by the Unsullied and unexpectedly declares that the Stormcrows are now on Dany's side. @rainhadaenerys already explained why Dany's trust in Daario does not make her stupid for a few reasons that I'll sum up here: a) he had already betrayed the other captains and would gain nothing doing the same to her; b) having him and his 500 men on her side would guarantee that the Yunkish would be overwhelmed; c) because, despite the prophecies concerning the treasons, she knows that she must trust other people, especially since no one's loyalties are certain. I would also want to add that she makes several considerations before accepting Daario on her side:

“The Unsullied caught one of the sellswords trying to sneak into the camp.”

“A spy?” That frightened her. If they’d caught one, how many others might have gotten away?

Dany was dubious. If this Tyroshi had come to spy, this declaration might be no more than a desperate plot to save his head.

This is not the reasoning of someone who can be considered "reckless" or "stupid", but who is rather aware of possible negative implications. However, she also proves to be flexible soon afterwards: if Daario killed the other commanders and the dragons trust him, accepting his allegiance seems worth the risk (and it pays off). Anyone who dismisses her for being "shallow" here has a shallow reading of the text themselves. He's handsome, but that's just a bonus.

In fact, there's a Doylist reason why we shouldn't criticize Dany for accepting Daario - doing so would mean validating Jorah's opinion, which is not a good look. Even worse, doing so would mean undermining this powerful and more than earned moment.

Aftermath

Things go pretty much exactly the way Dany had planned and expected:

“Your Grace, I bring you victory. The Stormcrows turned their cloaks, the slaves broke, and the Second Sons were too drunk to fight, just as you said. Two hundred dead, Yunkai’i for the most part. Their slaves threw down their spears and ran, and their sellswords yielded. We have several thousand captives.”

And, as more proof (if that was even needed) that Dany was concerned for the number of freedmen that would end up as casualties when she decided to attack the Yunkish when they didn't expect it:

“Our own losses?” 

“A dozen. If that many.”

Only then did she allow herself to smile.

I won't comment much on the mhysa scene because it doesn't really concern Dany's decision-making. I will say, though, that their reaction shows that they are grateful for her actions (see above, again, how the slaves are treated in Tyrion's chapters) and that it highlights, once again, the righteousness of Dany's cause.

(I've already written about what mhysa means for Dany here and here. Also, because this scene is understandably controversial ... here and here you can find good posts about the racism in the writing of Dany's storyline as a whole in a way that doesn't mischaracterize her.)

How Dany assesses the advice she receives

I'm putting this section in the end because there are only two moments (and one goes beyond the scope of this post) in which Dany receives advice in this chapter. This makes sense: as I said, despite Dany's limitations due to age and experience, GRRM really wanted to highlight how influential she was on the outcome of the battle.

The one moment that we see Dany getting advice is after she meets with the Stormcrows and the Second Sons. Both Barristan and Jorah agree that she is probably not going to get their support - Mero is treacherous and Prendahl had family amongst the Astapori. There isn't much she can do but accept their warning, but I find this line interesting:

“It is not his reputation that I want, it’s his five hundred horse.[”]

Dany is a traditional hero(ine) in so many ways, so it would be easier to portray her as someone who is unambiguously and plainly wary of the sellswords' lack of morals. However, moments like this and the one later in ADWD Daenerys VIII when she finds that being "dishonorable and greedy" can be advantageous if she wants the sellswords to turn to her side show that Dany is actually quite down-to-earth and flexible and doesn't suffer from moral righteousness like some think. In fact, if Dany had that problem, I'm not sure she would have thought that deceiving the slave masters (justified as that was) and revolting against an entire economic system would be okay; it's more likely that she would have had Barristan's attitude instead (i.e., leaving the region behind while feeling empathy but doing nothing about it). It's also a little detail that shows how GRRM maintains her characterization consistent, for it would be easy to forget that aspect of Dany by the time he got to writing ADWD.

(Of course, it's not so simple as to say that she's okay with their immorality. She is suspicious of them - we see with Daario that she doesn't fully trust him nor reacted well to that advice to kill all the masters in the Temple of the Graces.)

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #dany and her choices #valyrianscrolls #a storm of swords

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chibimyumi · 6 years ago

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Sexism against men

【Reponse to this post】

Dear @nunted,

✬Hello, first of all, men have to suffer getting their suffering under sexism denied :)))

✬ When a man is being sexually harassed or bullied in general, he gets victim-blamed by being shamed for his lack of masculinity, and cannot expect compassion from others.

✬ Especially in the 19th century, men were sent into the most dangerous jobs (the sewers, the mines, the battlefields etc.), and this exposure to danger was glorified as ‘manly duty’.

✬ Men were sent into death or a return with PTSD, and have to be happy about “being a hero of the country!!!”

✬ Men’s emotions were and are still being denied. Men are not allowed outlet for their grief, fears, and what not. Men have to either swallow these pains, or be swallowed. The only outlet men were really allowed was anger.

✬ Young boys were already being told that they cannot cry when they’re hurt, because “boys don’t cry”.

✬ Men were denied the chance of actually raising their children and form meaningful bonds with them, because “it’s a WOMAN’S JOBBBB”.

✬ A man’s value is defined by his productivity in a job that society chose FOR HIM. Anyone who did not live up to those arbitrary social expectations is made out to be a ‘lesser man’.

✬ The phrase “be a man” or “man up” is just a way of saying: “if you don’t live up to social expectations, YOUR identity is invalid.”

✬ Men are shamed for physically under-performing. “Can’t you lift that? You’re a man, right?”

✬ Boys who bully or misbehave are not sufficiently corrected, because “boys will be boys,”, and so boys have a greater risk of becoming socially loathed adults (from assholes to outright criminals).

✬ Men are made to bear the full financial burden of a family, and when he cannot he is seen as incompetent.

✬ Men are being pitted against each other in a futile battle of being acknowledged as ‘the alpha male’, of who is worthier of getting X, Y, or Z (often women), resulting in a longstanding tradition of masculine competition. (e.g. dick comparing is not something just done for fun; it reflects a very unhealthy psychology of lack of self-esteem.)

✬ A man’s success in ‘getting the girl’ is made into a measure standard of his value as human. Men who were not interested in ‘getting the girl’ for whatever reason were therefore considered less valid.

✬ Men are assumed to be ‘less refined’, which is glorified as ‘appropriately masculine’. But men were first denied the opportunity to hone such ‘refined skills’, and miss out on options that might otherwise have become their hobby or passion.

ET CETERA

I could go on, but I really hope that by this point you got the point.

I find it very ironic that you should respond in this way to a post where I never mentioned whether men did or did not suffer, on top of having explained why it is foolish to play Oppression Olympics.

Before anyone is going to respond with: “yeah but women......” I will say it again; we should NOT be playing Oppression Olympics.

“People want to appear clever by nominating the victim-champion, but perhaps it is best to ‘actually’ be clever, and lend our ears and compassion to multiple people’s pains.” (quote from earlier post)

I hope more people will learn to compute a higher number than one (1) group of victims.

Sexism is a systematic oppression mechanism that hurts literally everyone for different reasons in different ways. For the greatest part of history, women and/or ““lesser men”” have been made to suffer to accentuate the artificial superiority of men. Men meanwhile, have been made to suffer in a race based on unrealistic standards.

People would naturally find out that the expectations society prescribed for them is not right, and so sexism - or ‘gender roles’ - has been reinforced through centuries in the shape of a punishment-and-reward system. In this system EVERYONE is being punished and rewarded based on qualities that were arbitrarily decided by society.

Please do NOT continue this Oppression Olympics, because by doing so we are falling right back into this formula of: “pushing down others so one can artificially stand on top”.

I case you or anyone else is wondering why I posted this ⇊ picture and called this sexist, please allow me to explain.

The psychology behind narratives wherein a woman bullies a man, and that being played as humorous, is that it revolves around the (subconscious) sexist assumption that:

1. a woman can’t be a threat, so we don’t need to take her seriously. She is very infantilised and considered funny in the same way many find a baby looking murderous funny.

2. a man who is being bullied is inferiour, and should therefore also not be taken seriously. A man who is unsuccessful in deflecting harm or too “gentle/weak” to fight back is considered the clown - funny.

The moment we turn this formula around where we see Nino (♂Nina) bullying the female Phantomhive staff, he would automatically be called out for being a sexist, ‘a man who ignores and shit-talks women’.

If it were Elliot (♂Lizzie) who saw Ciella (♀Ciel) on top of Siegfried (♂Sieglinde), and immediately launched into a spin-attack for Ciella’s head, he’d automatically be considered a territorial dick.

The atmosphere would change quite dramatically. Why? Because we ARE taught to consider men a threat.

I could go on forever about the mechanisms of sexism and how everyone is a loser, but I don’t want to find the upper limit of Tumblr’s wordcount, or give them reason to introduce one.

I trust this has been enough to inform you a bit, but if you still wish to argue you are very welcome. But I advise you to consider your arguments or claims for a little longer before presenting them to me.

My Ask box has already been temporarily closed for a bit because it is a bit flooded now. But you contacted me through comment, so I trust you also know how to contact me again if need be.

#Kuroshitsuji #Black Butler #Sexism #oppression olympics #Sexism is for everyone #EVERYONE is a loser

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spraxinoscope · 5 years ago

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Oct. 14: Why I still think Trump has a ~75% chance of winning

Epistemic status: Who even am I? You shouldn’t listen to me. But see the final section for details.

By ‘winning,’ I mean still being president on 1/22/21, and there being no serious actionable plan to get him out.

2500 words of paranoia and bad math after the cut.

Polling factors:

Today, 538 gives Trump a 13% chance of an EC victory, so let’s use that as a starting point. As Nate Silver will tell you every chance he gets, 2016 presidential polls were only off by a few percentage points, and that’s probably still true. But a similar (or even smaller) systematic polling error would be enough to flip some battlegrounds, bumping Trump up to something like 25-30%. Have pollsters managed to correct for the systemic errors of 2016? There’s true meaningful debate around this, but the balance of evidence seems to be that the pollsters never figured out what caused the errors, and so were not able to fix them.

Note that Trump’s decline in the polls is driven by voters who approved of the president until very recently. Consider the sort of person who still had a favorable of opinion of Trump right up until fall 2020. Generally, dips in Trump’s favorability ratings seem to have been due to conservative infighting. Often, when a person stops supporting Trump, it’s because he is being insufficiently racist. These constituents’ loyalty may be wavering, but they are not likely to switch sides.

As a complete asspull hypothesis, I’d guess that some people who tell pollsters they no longer support Trump are trying to pressure him into adopting more hardline policy and will never vote for a Democrat.

I would posit that the 13% number is the absolute hard minimum chance of Trump winning an EC victory, fair and square. Error bars push that number higher. Taking average polling data over time also pushes that number higher, since it’s almost never been this low.

Dysfunction factors:

So, those are the odds for a free and fair election. What are the odds of the election being free and fair? I’m glad you asked! Zero.

Election integrity has taken major hits recently. Citizens United turned elections into ad campaigns. Shelby County v. Holder made laws against discriminatory election practices unenforceable. The Hatch Act is also not being enforced. The numerous alleged campaign finance law violations brought against the 2016 Trump campaign all amounted to nothing (except jail time, and subsequent pardons, for some functionaries).

Fine, let’s say elections can never be perfectly fair, but even if we grade on a curve and request that elections be as fair as possible, we’re still not doing great, and it’s been getting worse since 2010.

Hey, remember all those jokes from like 2004 onwards about how unreliable and insecure electronic voting machines are? That shit never got fixed. Remember the story from this week about some 90,000 New Yorkers getting the wrong mail-in ballots?

Remember when the Russians got into the Illinois voter database in 2016? The institutions that were supposed to defend against that kind of thing have since been gutted or captured by republicans.

Hey, remember when the Iowa primary was so dysfunctional that they ended the vote count without ever producing a final tally or figuring out what the problems were?

Election integrity groups have been sounding the alarm continuously on this one. Electoral commissions and underfunded, understaffed, and undertrained in use of modern systems. This is a huge problem all by itself, and it gets worse when applied to the next issue.

Malfeasance factors:

In my American public school civics education, I learned that Richard Nixon was a crook who paid some burglars to spy on the democrats, because of how crooked he was. I did not learn that ratfucking is bog-standard procedure, in every election, all over the world. I had to learn that on my own, later. Generally speaking, the election integrity talking heads take the opinion that most countries routinely interfere in the elections of most countries, and the Ds and the Rs have never not been spying on each other. The extraordinary thing about Watergate was that Republican congressmen were weirdly amenable to allowing an investigation into one of their own, a mistake they have never since repeated.

Some amount of ratfucking is to be expected. The nation has weathered this factor before. But, like electoral competence, this may be getting worse over time. State governments have very wide purview when it comes to voting procedure, and Republican states are wasting no time in finding creative new ways to toss out ballots. The most common reason for a mail-in ballot to be rejected is that the signature on the envelope doesn’t match the voter’s signature on file. There is no official criteria or standard practice for how close a signature has to be to count as a match. Signatures are not useful security for anything, anyway.

Georgia’s 2018 election was arguably illegitimate. Irregularities included voting sites closed at the last minute for unclear reasons and fraudulent ballot collectors stealing ballots. Calls for recounts all failed. Other southern states are on thin ice. All the big Texan cities are getting one ballot drop box each, in case you thought Texas would be allowed to turn blue.

Red states already have various laws permitting them to throw out ballots that arrive after the election. Sabotaging the post office or throwing out all uncounted ballots soon after the election, as most sitting Republicans in congress and governors have already gone on record to suggest may be necessary, is a violation of the letter but not the spirit of existing restrictive voting laws.

The big thing, of course, is that the right wing media landscape has been fully saturated with the idea that Democrats will engage in conspiracies to steal the election, and action will need to be taken to thwart these plots. To that end, Republicans at all levels of government, including at the DOJ, have repeatedly signaled willingness to take unprecedented measures to stamp out fraud. These include numerous voter purge plans, new criteria for dismissing ballots, and sending the DHS or other law enforcement agencies to take custody of ballots.

In addition, the MAGAs are organizing ‘poll watcher’ groups to secure urban voting sites. Even if these groups fully obey the law and do not engage in anything that could legally be termed intimidation or harassment, that’s still a lot of leeway. Of course, over the last couple years, we’ve all learned that right wing protesters can sometimes bend or break the law and get away with it, and sometimes receive cooperation from the police. This goes triple for blue cities in red states, which is exactly what we’re worried about.

Malfeasance in general is made easier by the unprecedented levels of geographically-sorted voting blocs. It is trivially easy to tell whether a district will go hard for Trump or hard for Biden. So, whether interference is coming from law enforcement officers, protesters, or semi-sanctioned militias, they will know which lines to intimidate and which boxes to steal.

Russiagate set a clear precedent: It doesn’t matter if it’s blatant, outrageous, or corrupt. Republicans do not want to defect, and right wing media will keep the base in line. Democrats will be outraged, and then fold. There are no remaining nonpartisan referees to appeal to.

Pundits like to imagine that sitting Republicans in congress will not blatantly steal an election for fear that it will lead to them getting voted out of office, to which I would suggest that the obvious answer is the correct one: Voted out how?

Democrats shooting themselves in the goddamn foot factors:

Trump likes to say that the election will be illegitimate if he loses. Mainstream news outlets like to push back against this. The NYT, for instance, has been loudly insistent that the election is totally secure all year.

It’s not, and they’re morons. No experts agree with them on this. Trump fabricating a bunch of fictional threats does not invalidate the numerous actual threats.

Biden, Pelosi, and Schumer would not be anyone’s first pick for the task of contesting an election, but that’s who we got.

Possible October surprises:

Hey, what do you guys think this year’s James Comey is going to be? The only real prediction I have is that something very destabilizing happens in the week before the election, but the particulars could be anything. Some fun possibilities:

DNC hacked again

Federally sanctioned repeat of the 1985 MOVE bombing

Hunter Biden cocaine sex tape

Anything that startles people, destabilizes institutions, and distracts from other issues is a viable possibility.

Scenarios after a contested election:

There are plenty of bluechecks and think tanks who have already gamed this out in detail. You don’t have to take my word for any of this part. The choices are:

There are rival sets of state electors, and Congress decides which ones count. Result: McConnell and Barr play Calvinball until they get the outcome they like, Trump remains in office.

The supreme court decides. Result: Trump remains in office.

The militias decide. Result: Trump remains in office, plus the Handmaid’s Tale happens.

There’s an orange revolution. After months of protracted struggle, Trump is ousted from office. However, in the meantime, ~8 states have seceded and Russia has annexed Alaska. In the ensuing chaos, John McAfee claims the presidency.

Probability estimates:

Trump’s odds of a ‘legitimate’ EC victory are only at 13% as of this moment, but the running average is higher, with occasional spikes above 30%. Polling errors add a little extra. Let’s say 25%.

Trump’s odds of losing the EC vote, but clawing it back through malfeasance until enough Republicans agree that he’s won, are very low in the case of a Biden landslide. But a landslide is unlikely, and as the results are closer, the probability of Republicans declaring themselves winners approach one. Note that, at least from mainstream news coverage, this won’t look like the power grab that many democrats fear. It will look like a lot of confusion and disarray, with an unclear EC count, followed by a cascade of authorities and sources declaring Trump the winner and securing the acceptance from government bodies one at a time. For the most likely election outcomes in which Trump doesn’t win straight up, I’d say a 30% chance Trump remains in office.

The election being a total dysfunctional disaster, with multiple states unable to certify results, is at least 5%. At least! In such a case, I’d give Trump an 80% chance of remaining in office.

In general, I believe that the only way that Biden gets to be president is if everything basically holds together and works like it’s supposed to, and also Trump legitimately loses the EC. There is one way for everything to go right. There are many ways it can go wrong.

The NYT has fixated on the possibility that Trump clearly loses, but refuses to leave office anyway. I’d give this no more than a 1% chance of happening. But I think there’s a major blind spot around the possibility that we have no idea who won, because the whole thing is obfuscated by multiple layers of confusion and malfeasance. What tools to democrats have for investigating malfeasance? What tools do they have for persuading people that they won when the results are in question? What tools to they have for enforcing election laws that they didn’t have in 2017?

I think they have approximately one asset, and it’s a populace that’s willing to rise up in defense of their rights. But the DNC spent the last five-ish years antagonizing and alienating anyone left of Dianne Feinstein, so, the efficacy of a potential national mobilization has been severely compromised.

Any protracted contested election scenario either favors Trump remaining in power, or the eventual balkanization of the US. One reason there are no good scenarios for a contested election is that mainstream media has been so adamant that the election is secure. When the Democrats are trying to contest results, they will be struggling against their own narrative.

Then, I add a 10% chance that a last minute October surprise tips the race to Trump. It happened last time, and Comey wasn’t even trying; now that every government office is staffed with Trump appointees who are trying, they have a decent shot at this.

Summing up these odds, I arrive at Trump having around a 70% chance.

Then, I add another 5%, because I bet there’s things I haven’t thought of, and every year there’s some small chance that the far right will go all in on a race war, and this would be a good opportunity for them.

I will take actual bets on these odds.

My biases:

Numerous.

I grew up in a red community in a red state and was bullied a lot by kids who grew up to be far-right; I have a chip on my shoulder about this that precludes dispassionate analysis.

I believe the RNC has looked at US demographic trends and likely consequences of climate change, and has accepted a certain amount of fascistic will to power as a necessary evil. This is mere supposition on my part.

Despite the fact that I am more or less an asshole stoner burnout weeb, I remain convinced that the editorial staff at the NYT and several other major American journalistic institutions are somehow even dumber than I am. Although this may sound unlikely, this assumption has been invaluable for making predictions about the world.

I am a paranoid person.

My motivations for writing this:

Believe it or not, I’m only doing this to assuage anxiety. I’ve been convinced that Trump’s odds for remaining in office have been significantly higher than polls would suggest since 2018, and it’s maddening to see so few other people agree even though my core assumptions keep not going away.

If anyone read this far: I’m sorry, and I hope this motivates you to vote, if you weren’t going to already. If Trump remains in office, protests against him will benefit from having the mandate of a clear popular vote win, even if not an EC win, so I do believe that even people outside battleground states should vote.

I don’t know about Tumblr, but on Twitter, ‘no-hopers’ are characterized (fairly or not) as being defeatist Bernie bros who think that Trump should win the election to teach the DNC a lesson. I disavow this idea in the strongest possible terms. I think Biden can win and urgently should win. But every time I see someone talking about the Biden presidency as if it were a sure thing, it takes another year off my lifespan.

No matter what happens, we will be fighting racism and corruption for the rest of our lives, because that’s what ethical behavior entails in this world. But a Biden term vs. a second Trump term are in no way equivalent, and things can still get worse.

In conclusion, [that picture of the guy at the folding table with the ‘prove me wrong’ sign]

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aire101 · 5 years ago

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Ferrum Intro

My brain absolutely, positively refuses to focus on romance atm, which means I have made no progress on my WIP and instead my brain ended up producing this concept which I will probably continue at least until I get it out of my system. So here’s the beginning of a post-Endgame MCU/SAO Irondad fic that I went online to read, discovered it didn’t exist yet, and so could NOT GET OUT OF MY DAMN HEAD.

-------

It had been a long day.

Then again, every day seemed like a long one lately.

It had been a relatively beautiful November day for New York City, and with the approaching holidays Peter was starting to see the usual uptick in petty crime begin this season. Within his five hour patrol he had helped eight lost tourists, found one lost pet, caught two armed burglars and tied up a ridiculous number of petty thieves. Nothing too problematic, just another day in the life of our friendly neighborhood Spider-man.

Peter sat crouched on a roof looking over the newest Iron Man mural to pop up, this time right on the edge between Queens and Brooklyn. There were several around town already, but this one was especially heart-wrenching. Most were either of the armor mid-action or of Mr. Stark in his trademark press look. But this one was different in the best and worst way.

In this art, Mr. Stark was still in his armor, but the helmet was retracted, allowing the viewer to see the blood crusted on his face, the lines of worry even deeper than they were before everything had gone to hell. There weren’t many pictures of Mr. Stark from the five year period now known as the Blip, but in the ones there were Peter knew he had looked like this— tired and worn in a way Peter had never seen, but could well understand. All in all, it looked uncannily similar to the last time Peter had seen him. When—

Anyway—

And on the shoulders of this mural’s Tony Stark rested an enormous orb holding dozens of galaxies spiraling around a central point— a tiny arc reactor in the shape of a heart.

There was still a little while before he would be expected at Ned’s tonight, but the more he tried to convince himself to hit the streets again, the heavier his limbs felt.

He couldn’t do it. Not like this. Experience told him it was a recipe for disaster, likely to get himself or someone else badly hurt. Himself he could handle, someone else… his conscience couldn’t take another body added to its count right now. Besides, he had promised Ned he’d be there tonight.

Peter sighed and swung away from his rooftop perch to head back towards Ned’s, not sparing the art a backwards glance.

No matter how good it was, no reproduction could ever duplicate what he had lost.

----------

“Whoa, you’re early,” said Ned with a mild tone of shock. Which honestly… was probably fair. “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, I decided to call it a night early. It was actually pretty quiet tonight anyway. Didn’t want to get too wrung out on the web considering we have plans tonight,” said Peter as he stepped into the Leeds’ apartment, slipping off his shoes and hanging his coat on the rack. “Where is everyone?”

“Dad has to work tonight, and mom and Angelica went to Laser Bounce earlier, but they should be back before too long. I stayed home to finish some stuff up before the launch tonight. Plus, I wasn’t sure when you’d be getting here, so…”

“Sorry, I should have messaged earlier.”

“You’re alright man. Like I said, I had some stuff to wrap up. I plan to be in-game as much as possible tomorrow,” said Ned as they moved into his bedroom.

“You sure you don’t mind me getting the first run tonight? They might have some secret opening event planned for the first few hours…” asked Peter.

“I am absolutely positive. I am going to have plenty of opportunities to lose unhealthy amounts of sleep to this game. Besides, between the two of us I think you need the break more than me. On a related note— you look terrible man. Have you been sleeping at all?”

“I sleep,” said Peter defensively. “I don’t really need much though, you know?”

“Physically, sure. Mentally? You’re still just as human as the rest of us Peter. Have you talked to May about it? Or Happy?”

“Can we please drop this? It’s just been a long day, alright?”

“What happened? I thought you said it was mostly quiet?” asked Ned, confused.

“I meant it was quiet for New York, I was still busy pretty much all evening,” said Peter, falling backwards onto Ned’s bed.

Ned sat down at his computer, spinning around to face Peter. “Fine, but I’m definitely going to harass you later, and you better actually sleep after we trade off in a few hours. Anyway, I am SO PSYCHED or this! God I hope its worth all the hype.”

“I can’t imagine it being a flop. The tech behind it is revolutionary, and the head developer has been working on the game for like a decade,” said Peter, as he scrolled through the GameSpot special coverage from that day.

“Wasn’t SI contracted to consult on it, too?” asked Ned.

Peter felt his throat begin to constrict. The nails of his right hand bit into the flesh of his palm as he forced himself to take a slow breath—hold—and release…

“Yeah, Mr. Stark consulted on it himself. Some of the engineering on the headset is similar to the BARF technology. I think he might have worked on a couple system AI’s as well.”

“That is so cool man. So this is almost like his last tech contribution? Last gift to the world…”

“I doubt that. It was just a consult job, most of the work was done by Argus. Plus, Mr. Stark had years worth of projects and updates on file. We’ll probably see things he had a hand in being released for the next ten years at the least,” said Peter.

“Still pretty cool though,” said Ned with a shrug.

At that moment, Peter heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock of the front door.

“Looks like they’re back,” he said, continuing to scroll, this time through discussions on Reddit.

“Have you had dinner yet? You know if you haven’t she’s going to force you to eat before you dive.”

“Nah, I didn’t get a chance to stop off earlier. What kind of leftovers do ya have?”

“I think there’s meatloaf and some chicken adobo left at the moment.”

“Yaaasss… Chicken adobo…”

Just then Ned’s bedroom door opened, and Mrs. Leeds poked her head in, a large smile on her face.

“Peter! I thought I saw your coat by the door! I’m glad you were able to make it tonight! Edward has been excited about the sleepover for weeks,” she said.

“Oh my god, mom! It’s not a sleepover! I doubt we’ll even sleep much!”

“Isn’t that what sleepovers are about?! You’re ridiculous… Anyway, have you eaten?” Mrs. Leeds asked, looking at Peter.

Peter had to bite back a smile, but shook his head.

“Hala ka, you’re going to waste away into dry bones! I don’t care how busy you are these days, you shouldn’t be skipping meals. You’ll blow away in a strong breeze. Come, I’ll heat something up. I know how bad you boys get about eating when its a normal game. A full immersion VR? You’ll forget you even have a real body that needs sustenance.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Peter, dutifully following her into the kitchen.

“You are in luck. We have some leftover chicken adobo from last night. I know you like that recipe. Did May ever give it a go?”

Peter flashed back to the gloopy, slightly charred mess that was May’s attempt at cooking the dish. “Eh… Yeah but it wasn’t quite the same. Still needs a bit of work.”

“Huh,” Mrs. Leeds said, sounding confused.

“Peter!” shouted a voice from behind him.

“Hey Angie,” said Peter, before he felt arms wrap around him from behind in a bear hug.

His heart throbbed in his chest. His breath caught and wouldn’t come.

Thanos was coming for the gauntlet he couldn’t let him have it he had to run the aliens were grabbing him he had to—

“You never come around anymore! It’s been months—!”

“Stop that Angelica. It’s been a crazy year, and Peter stays very busy between school and an internship. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for bed? It’s already way passed bedtime.”

Angie rolled her eyes dramatically but stomped back off towards her room to do as she was asked.

“Sorry, dear. She just missed her big brothers, you know.”

Peter did his best to force out a grin, but he wasn’t sure just how well it came off because the next thing he knew Mrs. Leeds was giving him a tender kiss on the head and muttering about making some cups of cocoa.

It was moments like this that he truly felt the strange reality of the fact that he had lost five years of his life. On the surface level everything felt mostly the same— Aunt May along with the majority of his friends had also been snapped, as well as several of his teachers. But while they were gone, Ned’s little sister aged from an innocent five year old, to a ten year old girl who had grown in a world in more confusion, pain and desperation than Peter could really comprehend. Freshman he had helped tutor in school had graduated. Families he had known were irreparably torn apart, seemingly overnight.

It felt like while he was still the same, the rest of the world had tilted slight to the left, leaving him unbalanced and unsure where to step next. He’d always felt a bit out of place anyway after the spider bite, but now it was so much worse. Sometimes Peter wanted a taste of what normal used to be like, without freaky spider powers, world protecting responsibilities and the guilt of looking around him and wondering if he deserved to be here at all.

He glanced at the clock that hung on the wall— fifteen minutes till midnight.

“I should probably go brush my teeth too and get settled in. The server will open soon,” said Peter as he stood.

“Yeah, though there shouldn’t really be much to do other than to actually connect since we calibrated your account the other day,” said Ned.

Within ten minutes Peter had taken care of his nightly necessities and given Angie and Mrs. Leeds both a hug goodnight, settling in on the upper bunk of Ned’s bed.

“Last time I’m asking— are you sure you don’t mind me giving this the first run?” asked Peter.

Ned sighed and spun around from his computer to send Peter an exasperated look. “Do you not want to take it on its maiden voyage?”

“That’s not what I said,” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Then stop worrying. Just have a good time for once. Also, I downloaded a couple files to the gear. Not sure how reliable it is yet, but a few beta testers put out some first floor tips on the DL as a downloadable in game file, so check that out once you dive. It might help out a bit.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

“No problem. Now get going, and be sure to take plenty of notes in your journal to send me later.”

“See you around, kid.”

“I am older than you are by two months. Shut up and dive, loser.”

Peter smiled as he fitted the Nervegear onto his head, laid back and said, “Link Start.”

———————

In a remote, nondescript server room a certain file kicked to life. It’s programming had been remotely accessed, a mere accident of oversight. The digital pathways that connected it to the Argus servers, while known about, had been forgotten in the chaos of the last few years. The file was not one created within the system, but one created to interact within it. The Cardinal system downloaded the precious data, implementing it in the category that best described its form and function.

Program designation: Client

System ID: Ferrum Vir

Administration level: GM

. . . .

Installation Complete

————————

At 12:00 am EST on November 5th, 2023 (1:00 pm JST), Peter Parker joined 10,000 others in the world’s first full dive MMORPG— Sword Art Online.

And so did a very confused Anthony Edward Stark.

#tony stark #peter parker #irondad #irondad and spiderson #marvel cinematic universe #iron man #spider-man #MCU #sword art online #mcu/sao #fanfiction #crossover fanfiction #ai tony stark #post endgame #mostly canon compliant #im not even sure what to tag this #i have no idea where im going with it #aire101 writes #not ffh compliant

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 5 years ago

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BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix

This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau

It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..

Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...

Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭

But she like him, so like??? 😭

And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.

Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time.

And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis

This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…

This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.

But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.

She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her.

This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.

He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.

And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.

NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB.

WOTTICE DIS HUNNY???

Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"

NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me

He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........

Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭

And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...

The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.

That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have.

I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭

He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.

BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it.

OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned

At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps).

But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.

But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.

Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...

How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.

I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat

The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga

This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...

OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR

I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car???

I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.

The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.

My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.

I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁

In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.

#BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Summertime with Regrets #Nesha Watches Summertime #It's just called Summertime. I watched it with regrets but #Here was my takeaway #Summer Bennati #Summertime #summertime netflix #Nesha Watches

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lastsonlost · 6 years ago

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A step-by-step handbook for destroying a man's life with lie.

INTRODUCTION

A s women, we have been oppressed by men's physical advantages over us since the beginning of humankind.

But now, in today's modern societies, the tables are finally turning.

Especially with the advent of the Internet and social media, and the economy's transition from

manufacturing to information, women are leveraging their natural advantages (e.g., social skills, emotional intelligence, and communication) to gain power.

You've probably utilized these advantages to some degree already, in one form or another. For example, as a child in school, I recall the boys using physical strength and aggression (e.g., punching) to bully girls. That was their power. Girls, on the other hand, used communication and accusation (e.g., spreading rumors) to undermine boys. This is our power!

The purpose of this handbook is to be a resource:

a collection of tools and techniques that have proven

powerful in women's struggle against patriarchy. I did not invent these methods; I only describe them. Be advised, however, that the methods outlined in this handbook were chosen for their utility, or their ability to achieve results, rather than for their legal or ethical merit. In other words, the information presented herein does not purport to be legally or ethically sound. What is considered to be "right" or "legal" often changes with time, tl1e prevailing culture, and the evolution of law.

This handbook is a work of free speech. How the content is used, misused, or not used is at the sole discretion of the reader, and I (as the author) retain no responsibility. Similarly, I'm publishing this book under the pseudonym of Angela Confidential to protect from backlash.

Enjoy!

Just a little sample of what's in this book.........

CHAPTER 1

THE DAMN FUNDAMENTALS

Let's begin with some introductions. We have three key friends, or fundamentals, that make it possible to destroy a man now (DAMN). To DAMN well, it's important to know them well.

Our first ally is Allison Allegation. Allegation an be so simple, effective, and easy to employ that it's elegant. An allegation is a claim, usually without proof, that someone has done something illegal or wrong. A claim, at minimum, requires nothing more than an assertion.

For example, if I yell from a roof top that the world is flat, I have successfully made a claim. Similarly, identifying wrongdoing requires only observation, recollection, or a minimal amount of imagination. From lying to murder, any behavior that you've heard of, seen, experienced, or can think of that violates an ethical or a legal standard can suffice for an allegation.

However, it's the last part of what constitutes an allegation that makes it uniquely useful: no evidence is required.

This independence from proof allows you to make an allegation about any man doing anything without being encumbered by a need for facts.

But how can something as intangible as the spoken word, without evidence, have enough merit or power to DAMN? Admittedly, if left completely on her own, Allison Allegation has relatively little power.

That's where our other two friends, Mary Media and Arthur Authority, assist.

Mary Media, our second ally, encompasses just about any means of communication. Media can be as elementary as whispers of gossip, although nowadays the term most often refers to mass communication platforms such as television, the Internet, or mainstream media networks. Of course, it also includes social media, such as Twitter and Facebook, which you will soon see are especially well suited to DAMN.

So how does Mary Media help Allison Allegation?

Well, interestingly, they help each other. You've probably heard the philosophical question, "If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it, did it make a sound?"

Although the answer to that question is still debated, it's certain that if an allegation is made and no one knows about it, it has no power. Fortunately, however, the opposite is also true:

the more people who know about an allegation, the more powerful it becomes.

Thankfully for Allison Allegation and for our purposes, the modern mainstream media excel at spreading information far and wide. They do it to make money-lots of money-from advertisers. Yet advertisers need more than just a way to reach people; they also need a way to get people to pay attention to their advertisements (and ultimately buy products).

This is where media content comes in. Media content can be videos, website posts, "breaking news," and so on anything that garners interest. And it's no secret that scandal attracts people's interest especially well. "Sex sells," as the saying goes, and so does violence, injustice, misconduct, and anything else outrageous. That's why scandalous content in mainstream media has increased over the years. That's also why Mary Media helps Allison Allegation: scandalous allegations attract people's interest, interested people watch advertisements, advertisements sell products, and it all makes Mary Media money.

However, fascinatingly, while the mainstream media profit from proliferating allegations, they bear little responsibility for doing it! Apparently, as long as the media mention that the scandal is an "allegation," they are relatively safe from legal repercussions.

This is because, in free-speech societies, people can voice opinions and unsubstantiated claims. Further, the media can always attest that they are not making the allegation; rather, they are just reporting it.

But, in truth, the media actually do help "make" the allegation by how they report it. You probably know that how you say something can convey greater meaning than what you say. For example, I could say, "I'm happy," but ifl scream it angrily, people are much more likely to believe I'm upset. With that in mind, try listening carefully to how mainstream media say the word "allegation" when reporting a story. Either they say it in a positive tone, as though it's something good, or they say it quickly, as though it's insignificant. They also use the word "allegation" or "alleged" instead of using terms such as "unsubstantiated claim" or "accusation without proof" to deemphasize that evidence is lacking. Even more cleverly, after the media make an allegation popular by broadcasting it far and wide, they then circle back later and broadcast how "so many" people are talking about it.

Further, they support people who make allegations by promoting them as courageous for "coming forward." These tactics get even more people interested and encourage others to make similar claims. Finally, the media then cite the increasing number of allegations and growing public outrage (that they helped create) as being "too numerous to be ignored" or as "evidence" of truth.

In a court of law, a man is considered innocent until proven guilty, but in the court of media-managed public opinion, a man "serially accused" of a scandal is guilty until proven innocent. In this way, an allegation does not require evidence to DAMN because, through media manipulation, it becomes its own evidence.

Thousands-even millions-of people can become organized against one man.

Likewise, the "evidence" and public perception of guilt created by Allison Allegation and Mary Media's synergy can become so prominent and powerful that our third ally, Arthur Authority, has a duty to step in.

And it's authority that really helps us put the "destroy" in DAMN!

Authority is defined as any person or organization that has the power to control, direct, punish, and so on, which is exactly the kind of power we need to DAMN. Examples include police, judges, bosses, human resource departments, boards of directors, teachers, professors, university councils, licensing and regulatory agencies, and so on. Ultimately, it's authority that plays the final role in condemning a man.

So what do we need to know about authority to DAMN? Well, to begin, it's important to understand that Arthur Authority is an artifact of patriarchy and chivalry. As "Daddy Knight," he takes pride in his role as guardian and savior, especially of the weak, mistreated, violated, and so on.

He strives to be the hero who saves the damsel in distress. In other words, authority caters to victims, and nothing gets Arthur Authority's attention more than a call to action to save victims.

To be considered a victim, or a damsel in distress, authority first needs to perceive you as weak. Surprisingly, a great illustration of this is how authorities usually relate to men in distress. Can you imagine what typically happens when a man walks into a police precinct and requests a restraining order against a woman?

Officers roll their eyes, and immediate dis-

belief ensues. T his is because they simply do not perceive a man to be weaker than a woman, and for that reason, they are unwilling to provide assistance. In contrast, in patriarchal societies, women are perceived as weak by default, and therefore deserving of help and protection in the eyes of authorities.

Second, for the weak to attain victim status, authorities also need to perceive them as harmed or violated.

In other words, authorities require a credible claim that a legal or an ethical standard has been broken in order to take action (because it's their duty to enforce standards).

As we now know, we can look to Allison Allegation to make the claim and to Mary Media to make it credible. Nevertheless, it's still important to emphasize that authority is most likely to help us DAMN in instances that entail an apparent violation of specific laws or codes of conduct-the more egregious, the better.

Examples are numerous, including rape, sexual harassment, discrimination, physical assault, child abuse, substance abuse, and dishonesty in its many forms (e.g., lying, cheating, fraud, etc.).

Also-and this works surprisingly well-keep in mind that with the media's help, allegations against authorities can be used to motivate authority to take action!

Just about any widespread allegation about an authority being remiss, ineffectual, or negligent in its "guardian and savior" role will suffice. For instance, a televised allegation about a company ignoring sexual harassment in the workplace is enough to motivate the company's human resources department to hunt the accused man and anyone who failed to report his scandalous behavior to HR!

Once authorities decree that there is a victim of a violation, they can take punitive actions against the perpetrator (i.e., "destroy" a man).

Punitive actions usually entail substantial loss, such as termination of employment/loss of income, loss of education or certification (e.g., dismissal from school or revocation of credentials), loss of social status or good reputation (e.g., public shame and humiliation), loss of financial savings (e.g., payment for legal settlements), and loss of freedom (e.g., imprisonment). In addition, the combined actions of Allison Allegation, Mary Media, and Arthur Authority generally result in ongoing loss or the loss of future opportunities. In this way, a man is truly damned.

With a smeared reputation or record of alleged misconduct, no one will want to be associated with him, no one will want to employ him, no one will want to help him, and no one will even believe him.

Further, the subsequent long-term stress frequently results in loss of physical and mental health.

When I say these methods can destroy a man, I genuinely mean it.

Moreover, these methods actually do destroy men, even powerful ones. There is no better testimony to how effective Allison Allegation, Mary Media, and Arthur Authority can be than the growing number of men they've destroyed (regardless of allegations being true or false).

Complete source

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loudlytransparenttrash · 5 years ago

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This Week Within Our Colleges: Part 22

Students at George Mason University spent days protesting the hiring of Brett Kavanaugh as a visiting law professor at GMU’s Law School. Some students complained to campus leaders, telling them students’ mental health is threatened by the Kavanaugh hire, despite the Law School being located 3,500 miles away from the university. “This decision has really impacted me negatively. It is affecting my mental health knowing that an abuser will be part of our faculty.” Another female student gave similar comments to the board, “As someone who has survived sexual assault three times I do not feel comfortable with someone who has sexual assault allegations like walking on campus.” A third female student told the board, “we are fighting to eradicate sexual violence on this campus. But the hiring of Kavanaugh threatens the mental well being of all survivors on this campus.” The next day, students marched around campus chanting “kick Kavanaugh off campus” and holding “cancel Kavanaugh” signs while some stuck blue tape over their mouths.

University of Colorado Denver brought back a 2016 course, “Problematizing Whiteness: Educating for Racial Justice.” Students will learn “the plight of people of color and how white people are complicit.” The course details explains, “The study of whiteness has always sought to challenge racism, racial privilege, white supremacy, and colorblind racism. However, to overindulge in the spectacle of ‘white racial epiphanies’ overlooks the ongoing work whites must do to participate in racial justice. Beyond the feel-good of momentary White racial awareness lurk enormous concerns about how to continually examine Whiteness in order to uphold antiracism, moreover the fruition of a more racially just society.” It also, understandably, tells students that recording any of the lecture is forbidden.

A State University of New York College at Old Westbury professor wrote an article which he states it makes him happy when he sees poor white people on the street begging for food and often wonders how hard he should kick them in the head. “White people begging us for food feels like justice. It feels like Afro-Futurism after America falls. It feels like a Black Nationalist wet dream. It has the feels I rarely feel, a hunger for historical vengeance satisfied so well I rub my belly.” White people, he says, are a Rorschach test: “I see in them the history of colonization, slavery and mass incarceration that makes their begging Black people for money ironic - if not insulting. You wasted your whiteness! Why should we give to you?” The professor admits that this isn’t a “good look,” however, when he thinks about Martin Luther King Jr.’s “be thy best self” and “show compassion to those who spite you,” he retorts “go f**k another secretary Martin!”

A University of Utah student reported her business professor to campus administrators for assigning too many books written by male economists and philosophers. “Many of these figures are of great importance. But at what cost do we continue to plant the seed of sexism in the minds of individuals? But especially in a course and college that is already deemed to be a ‘boys club,’ continuing those teachings, and those teachings being delivered by a professor of his character is dangerous.” The student also took issue in her bias report about a joke the professor made about how, “while all our jobs will be taken by robots,” he will be “retired living in Tahiti surrounded by 40-45 beautiful women feeding him grapes.” The student complained, “Not only did the professor willingly and openly objectify women, but he also objectified women of color. Women of another culture.”

University of Texas at Austin freshmen were threatened to be doxed if they considered joining the Young Conservatives of Texas or Turning Point USA. “Hey #UT23! Do you wanna be famous? If you join YCT or Turning Point USA, you just might be. Your name and more could end up on an article like one of these,” the tweet said, linking to previous doxing posts of conservative students at the school. “So be sure to make smart choices at #UTOrientation.” They went on to encourage other students, “if you begin to spot the young racists trying to join YCT or TPUSA, send us a tip so we can keep our reports up to date.” The anarchist student network have already released extensive personal information of pro-Brett Kavanaugh demonstrators at UT Austin, including their names, photos and contact information. It went so far as to post some of the phone numbers of the employers of students and urged them to be fired.

Webster University offered its white faculty and staff a chance to “witness their whiteness” in a program that seeks to eliminate racism. According to the event description, Witnessing Whiteness is about “white people voluntarily coming together to do work around racism in a supportive, non-threatening setting.” It’s also about “learning to speak about race and racism, exploring white privilege, and practicing allying with sisters and brothers of color.” White attendees also were taught how to commit to positive change in their lives, workplace and region and understand and practice interrupting racism and developing skills to act as agents of change.

University of North Georgia hosted several "safe zone trainings" to make the school a “safer, more inclusive environment for members of the LGBTQ+ community.” Students were given handouts which featured a ‘gender unicorn’ cartoon and encouraged attendees to use “LGBTQ-Inclusive Language” by giving them a list of “Dos and Don'ts.” They asked students to not use words such as “mailman” and “ladies and gentlemen” or phrases such as “both genders” and “opposite sexes,” instead suggesting that they use “all genders.” Attendees were also shown a YouTube video from Franchesca Ramsey called “5 Tips For Being An Ally,” which instructed them to understand their privilege.

Middlebury College were forced to soothe upset and angry students after Polish conservative scholar and politician Ryszard Legutko was invited to speak on campus about totalitarian temptations within liberal democracies. Ironically, the school canceled the lecture just hours beforehand after some students complained, then later held a reflection meeting with the student protestors, where administrators told them, “I hear you, and you should be outraged, and we should acknowledge that and apologize, because that’s the least we can do right now, because we can’t make it right in the moment. But in the future we will do everything we can to make it right.” As the safe space meeting was going on, unbeknown to the protesters, a political science professor allowed Legutko to be ushered into his classroom and address students in secrecy.

At University of Texas at Austin, a pro-life speaker’s event was disrupted after someone set off a smoke bomb, triggering the building’s fire alarm and forcing attendees to be evacuated. The event went forward in another building.

A Canadian University of New Brunswick professor said he is in favor of taking a variety of actions against “white supremacists” who speak on campus, including publicly shaming them, firing them from their jobs and driving them from restaurants. What’s concerning about this is the professor’s definition of white supremacists. He said the "Make America Great Again" hats will carry the same shame as the uniforms worn by the Ku Klux Klan. “Every time I watch a documentary about the civil rights movement and all the hateful violence they faced, I wonder what the white people who were doing those horrible things were thinking... We are living in an era with Donald Trump and the Republican Party and the right-wing movement in America where things of similar gravity are happening. The entire sentiment of 'Make America Great Again' implies that there was a time when America was great and it's not any longer... America for Trump and his supporters is no longer great because black people have too many rights or there are too many women in the workplace."

A City University of New York professor was interviewed on radio where she stated the “ideology of racialized terrorism” is the responsibility of every white person in the United States. She criticized America for building "mental health hospital beds for white home-grown terrorists, but concentration camps and high-level security prisons for Black, and Black and Brown immigrants.” She goes on to wonder why we pay tribute every September 11 to “the pillars of American capitalism,” but never to “the young Black and Brown” victims. She also claims she's suffered in capitalist America after being designated a “other, non-white" on her arrival into the country and "white America has damned this democracy into the hands of white terrorists.”

A University of Arizona student live-streamed herself on Facebook harassing two Border Patrol agents who were giving a lecture to Criminal Justice students. The female student stood near the door of the room, zooming in on the officers repeatedly while calling them murderers and saying they were an extension of the KKK on campus. “They allow murderers to be on campus where I pay to be here. Murderers!” In the second part of the video, the student follows the Border Patrol agents to their vehicle, repeating the phrase “Murder Patrol!” and also yelling at them in Spanish. At the end of the video, she films a protest apparently against the appearance of the officers. The student also launched into a rant about the “white woman” who attempted to talk to her.

Gonzaga University’s Women and Gender Studies and Native American Studies departments hosted a screening and discussion about Disney’s film, Moana, titled, "Is Moana about rape?" According to the flyer, the professor behind the lesson discussed how Western patriarchy and masculinity attack “the feminine,” indigenous cultures, and the environment and nature. “Layne will ultimately also suggest that the film is Neocolonialist. It excuses Western culture from oppressing women, degrading the environment and erasing/murdering indigenous people,” the flyer says. It also came with a trigger warning, stating that racism, sexual assault, genocide and colonialism will be addressed.

Tufts University decided to remove a historical mural after students complained that the paintings depicting only white people eroded the school’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. The Alumnae Lounge mural, which depicts “the great names of men” of the school’s history, does not include “a single image of a person of color" which has lead students to complain that “they don’t want to receive awards in Alumnae Lounge because they feel excluded.” Tufts Senior Vice President said. “We want to attract a diversity of people to the university. But no less important, when they arrive, we want them to feel they belong here.” Tufts Africana Center Director applauded the decision, saying “the murals create an unwelcoming space for current students of color.”

Also at Gozaga University, an assistant professor wrote an op-ed where he blasted one of his white law students and accused him of deliberate “racial antagonism” because the student wore a MAGA hat to class. Without naming the student, the assistant professor wrote, “From my perspective as a black man living in the increasingly polarized political climate that is America, MAGA is an undeniable symbol of white supremacy and hatred toward certain nonwhite groups. I was unsure whether the student was directing a hateful message toward me or if he merely lacked decorum and was oblivious to how his hat might be interpreted by his black law professor. I presumed it was the former. As the student sat there directly in front of me, his shiny red MAGA hat was like a siren spewing derogatory racial obscenities at me for the duration of the one hour and fifteen-minute class. As my blood boiled inwardly, I jokingly told the student, ‘I like your hat.’ Without missing a beat, the student mockingly grinned from ear to ear and said, ‘Thank you.’” The professor concluded by arguing that “‘making America great again’ suggests a return to the days when women and people of color were denied access to these very institutions.”

A George Mason University assistant professor took to Twitter to ask white parents across America: “Why are you producing so many young white male terrorists?” “What is going on in your households? How involved are you with your sons? Are you missing signs their racism is filtering out of commonplace household racism into ‘I want to murder strangers’ racism?” She followed up with a reply to the white parents declaring their devotion to making sure their child isn’t a white terrorist, “I appreciate the testimonials of white parents doing the work of raising anti racist children. You give me a bit of hope.”

The University of Michigan revamped its already transgender-friendly student health plan to include more services on top of sex-change operations. The school already covers mastectomies, genital surgeries, hormone therapy and counseling for transgender students. These plans now also accommodate “facial feminization surgeries,” as well as facial hair removal and “Adam’s apple reduction.” Another addition is “fertility preservation” for transgender students whose transition efforts result in infertility.

A Massachusetts school superintendent told a community audience that white people in our “systematically corrupt system that oppresses black individuals” need to “rewire their brains” in order to overcome their biases. The Pittsfield Public Schools chief (who is white) also blasted Trump, blaming the president's “daily hate” for the rise in racism and hatred on a national level. The event was planned to announce the implementation of African American history courses in local high schools. The course will delve into African American oppression and plans on stopping the normalization of seeing “black people being beaten on TV.” A teacher who worked on the curricula design at the schools said her eyes had been opened after participating in implicit bias training and reading the book "Waking Up White."

Hofstra University students protested a statue of Thomas Jefferson at an annual event, titled “Jefferson Has Gotta Go!” which was co-organized by local Planned Parenthood staff. For the past few years, students have defaced the statue with “DECOLONIZE” and “Black Lives Matter” in an attempt to pressure the university president to join the long list of schools removing or covering up “traumatizing” statues and artwork. So far, the statue remains.

An academic conference in Toronto focused on “Critical Becky Studies,” with multiple professors and faculty from American universities participating. “This session aims to characterize ‘Becky,’ a term specific to white women who engage whiteness, often in gendered ways,” the session description states. “Explorations of Becky and implications of educational practice from a variety of perspectives and contexts will illuminate the dynamics of power, privilege, and oppression tied to the gendered and raced mechanisms of whiteness enacted by Becky,” says the session description. Another paper discussed in the panel was titled “Border Becky: Exploring White Women's Emotionality, Ignorance, and Investment in Whiteness.” According to the description, the paper focuses on white women who must undergo a battle in order to extract themselves “from the white supremacist alliance.”

At University of South Dakota, a planned ‘Hawaiian Day’ themed event had to be changed to ‘Beach Day,’ due to a cultural appropriation complaint from a single student. The student group planning the party were told to make the name change and to ban handing out leis as it violates the school's policy on inclusiveness. The group posted, “It was determined that these (leis) are culturally insensitive by the administration after doing research based off of the essay written by the initial complainant.”

Williams College student activists demanded the Board of Trustees "commit to a complete process of reparation and reconciliation to indigenous peoples." The open letter states, “Many junior faculty of color are considering medical leave due to the unmitigating stress of living in an unsupportive and callous environment and to avoid the emotional detriment of existing here.” The students then demanded a “complete process of reparation and reconciliation” to the indigenous peoples, “approve a request of $34,000 as well as the increase of $15,000 additional funding for incoming Minority Coalition groups.” ”Offer free weekend shuttles for faculty and staff" and provide separate housing for black and queer students, as well as for all other marginalized groups. Lastly, “hire more therapists, especially trans and racial minority therapists.”

Dominican University in California has added a new major, wholly focused on social justice. The school created the major after a “growing number” of students became interested in social justice “careers,” according to the university news release. Students who major in social justice will have the chance to “examine the links between well-being, social justice, and diverse worldviews.” Additionally, students will “analyze social injustices and work toward positive social change.”

The State University of New York-Plattsburgh offered students the chance to de-stress with therapy donkeys during their Wellness Fair.

#college

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tic-of-the-tac · 6 years ago

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The Ultimate In-Depth Analysis of Carlton Burke from the FNAF Novels (PART ONE)

(This took me a really long time to make, so I hope you enjoy it! I was inspired to write this by sn0ji’s in-depth John analysis post, so thanks, sn0ji! Also, I do discuss POTENTIAL TRIGGERS in this, including, but not necessarily limited to, SEXUAL ASSAULT and MANY FORMS OF VIOLENCE, so read at your own risk. And I know what you’re thinking: Cara, what on earth does Carlton have anything to do with sexual assault? Well, prepare to have your mind blown, and not just based on that fact, because I go into SO much detail in this essay and I mention little events and details from the books that NO ONE has EVER talked about before. It’s in so much detail that I had to make a Part 2 for it, so be sure to check that out! So sit back, relax, and enjoy my in-depth analysis of Carlton Burke!)

People know Carlton for his most obvious character trait: his humor. This is the trait that either makes you love him on at least his surface level or overlook him completely. The first group LOVES his humor. It is their favorite thing about him. While most will just like him for the jokes, some people in this group will even dive deeper into his personality and appreciate him even more. (I’m in this group.) The second group chooses to overlook Carlton because his sense of humor and surface-level personality can often come off as immature. However, calling Carlton immature based on these facts alone is completely ignoring his entire character ark and deeper personality which motivates him to put the safety and happiness of others before himself.

In The Silver Eyes, people will notice his humor, but they won’t notice the other subtle details of his personality that Kira and Scott took the time to mention throughout the book. The first action he is described as doing when Charlie enters the diner is thinking of his words carefully before he speaks them. That is not an easy task for most people, and it takes a level of maturity that is often overlooked to avoid acting on impulse. Also, when the boys split up from the girls (and John) after visiting Freddy’s on the second night, Carlton is the one that looks back at the girls, smiles at them genuinely, and waves over his shoulder. This moment is probably one of the most overlooked small moments in the book series, but it is probably one of my favorites, and it took me a couple rereads to catch. It shows that Carlton is a genuine and sweet person who will go out of his way to be friendly to others and make them smile. While people may see his prank-pulling as ignorance to other people’s emotions, it is quite the opposite. Carlton has shown that when it is time to be serious, he is VERY serious. His speech about Michael during the ceremony is super emotional and a sweet testament to his childhood best friend. However, he also sprinkled in some humor not because he is constantly a jokester, but because he doesn’t want to make people more upset than they already are given the tragic circumstances. He is trying to make them feel better. The number one motivation that pushes him forward in life is making people smile and laugh, which in turn is making them happier than they are. (I can honestly relate to that on a personal level because this is the one thing that keeps me going too, which is why I appreciate and adore his character so much.) The pranks he pulls make him happy, and he is hoping to make people laugh by doing them. He does not have ill intentions by telling jokes and pulling pranks. His humor allows him to push through his grief as well as help others push through theirs, which is very honorable and admirable for him to do. It is not immature of him at all. He also tends to use humor when he is terrified, in attempts to calm himself. He’s not just saying jokes for the heck of it, he’s hoping to make the best out of any dangerous or scary situation. (I relate to that too, as I tend to crack more jokes when I am nervous.) It may not be the brightest idea to crack jokes in front of someone who could literally kill him with the tap of a finger, but he is doing what his brain has trained himself to do his entire life when dealing with a bad situation. Not to mention he has a severe concussion (I know that the book says that it’s mild but let’s get real here, being unconscious for HOURS is a REALLY bad sign), so he’s not thinking clearly. He’s acting on impulse because his brain is physically not working properly. Anything that he says from Chapter 9 onward is not an entirely accurate representation of his overall character. It does, however, give us a good insight into how he deals with physical pain and the effect his pain may have on others. He keeps telling people that he’s fine even though he’s CLEARLY NOT FINE, and he constantly apologizes for the way he is acting even though it is NOT HIS FAULT. Even through pain and terror his genuineness shines through. Also, even though he is not thinking clearly, he is able to focus his anger and pain to stand up to the person that killed his best friend, nearly killed him, and is still threatening him and his friends. That is very courageous of him and it is an action worthy of audience applause. He doesn’t let his anger and pain out on his friends, but he is not afraid to show it either, which shows a sense of control in his life, even when he is not thinking clearly. Having this control shows maturity. In The Silver Eyes alone, Carlton proves that there is more to him than meets the eye.

Carlton is not in The Twisted Ones, but there is something worth mentioning about what he is doing during the events of the book. He is studying acting in New York City. Coming from someone who also wants to study acting in New York City, I know that you cannot be some ordinary idiot to get into a college in NYC. It takes a lot of time and effort to apply, and to get into many NYC acting colleges, you need to be smart as well as good at acting. Carlton got into a college in NY, showing that he’s no idiot and he is willing to put in time and effort to achieve what he wants. Not to mention, during all of this, he is dealing with the grief of his parents separating a lot better than most people. (He certainly handled it better than I did when my parents got divorced.) These actions are very mature of him, showing that even in The Twisted Ones, Carlton is a deep, complex character that is more than just dumb comic relief.

Lastly, there’s The Fourth Closet. This book is the most obvious example of Carlton being more than what he appears. In the first scene Carlton appears in, John, who has been in a constant depressed state for the past six months, smiles genuinely when Carlton races downstairs to greet him for the first time in almost two years, while only faking a smile when reuniting with Jessica and Marla. To John, Carlton is a joy to have around. Not to mention the condition of Clay’s house dramatically improves when Carlton comes home. It shows that people find Carlton as someone who makes them happy and they want to have around. Later, Carlton shows genuine concern for his father when he ends up in the hospital and also when they find a sick Charlie. He really cares about other people and wants to make sure they’re okay. While Carlton is VERY intrigued by Not-Charlie’s appearance (and people use this as reasoning to dismiss him as a dumb jokester), he is TERRIFIED of her. He likes to look at her, sure, but when she presses up against him, strokes his face, and tries to kiss him, he repeatedly tells her NO and tries to get away from her. Carlton is not a dumb, horny teenage boy; he is a victim of a downplayed sexual assault attempt, and it is overlooked because he’s a boy, she’s a robot, and he showed interest in her appearance before and after the attack. It is also overlooked because people think of it as just a way to lure him in to kill him, but the text specifically mentions that she “leaned in for a kiss” and ALSO KISSES JOHN WITHOUT HIS CONSENT (meaning yes, John is a victim of sexual assault). (And yes, kissing someone without consent can be considered sexual assault. I did my research before writing this.) Carlton is not completely innocent because staring at Not-Charlie like he does could actually be considered sexual harassment, but showing interest in her does not warrant her to approach him with sexual intentions because he did not give consent. Immediately after, he is unsure how to feel about it. He is still extremely fascinated by her appearance, but he didn’t want to be anything more than frenemies, and the fact that she tried to push it further terrified him. He is essentially thinking, “Isn’t this what I wanted? I thought she was hot, but I didn’t really want her to approach me like that.” These mixed emotions confuse him, and he shows this confusion when he meets up with Marla and sees Not-Charlie on the TV. Again, it’s not him being just a dumb, horny teenager. Then, he is the one to point out that Not-Charlie, in one of her alternate forms, looks like Circus Baby. No one else was able to make that connection. If he is really an idiot as people claim, he wouldn’t have been the one to make this connection. Instead, he shows that he is actually smart, insightful, and observant. (This is actually the third time he showed these traits; the first time was in The Silver Eyes when he observed Dave’s personality, and the second time was in the same book when he found the security camera above the back room door and made the GENIUS decision to slowly make his way across the floor to get in view of the security camera, which ended up saving his life.) Carlton and Marla’s mission from this point on is to save Jessica and hopefully find the missing children. When Carlton and Marla are in the mirror maze and being pursued by Funtime Freddy, Carlton steps in front of Marla, shields her, and keeps her calm on several occasions, showing that he is protective of the people he cares about. Once they find Jessica and most of the missing children, Carlton makes the courageous and mature decision to give his earpiece, the only defense he has, to Jessica and go out on his own to rescue the last missing child. This is the most courageous decision made by any character in the entire book series. TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2.

#carlton burke #carlton fnaf #fnaf carlton #the silver eyes #the twisted ones #the fourth closet #fnaf novels #fnaf books #fnaf tse #fnaf tto #fnaf tfc #fnaf #character analysis

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f4liveblogarchives · 5 years ago

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #184 & 185

Thur Aug 22 2019 [12:35 AM] Wack'd: We still haven't resolved why kidnappers kidnapped Agatha who kidnapped Franklin so we're probably back to that in [12:35 AM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #184 [12:35 AM] Bocaj: I hope someone kidnaps the kidnapper's kidnapper [12:35 AM] maxwellelvis: I'd like to at least see the covers for these, but I guess we're too far in now. [12:36 AM] Wack'd: You can just...go to Marvel Wiki and punch in issue numbers? [12:36 AM] Wack'd: There's a reason I don't post covers often [12:36 AM] maxwellelvis: yeah [12:36 AM] Wack'd: So Reed has had...a very long day [12:37 AM] Wack'd: And for once in his life lets his family take care of him and get him into bed [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Mostly because he was literally passing out, but still [12:37 AM] maxwellelvis: And probably because he no longer has the physical ability to resist their efforts to get him to take a break [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Also true [12:40 AM] Wack'd: So Ben calls to check in with Alicia ( 🎵 checking in with Alicia / Alicia what's uuuuup 🎶) [12:40 AM] Wack'd: And Alicia, on Sue's orders, doesn't mention what's happened to Franklin to stop him from doing something reckless and stupid [12:41 AM] Wack'd: All the ruckus knocked AUNTIE offline (hey! someone remembered!) and Thundra and Greer are like "actually, fuck this" and leave Ben to clean up the damaaaaay wait a second [12:41 AM] Wack'd: WE FORGOT ABOUT THE HEAT-GENERATING ROBOT [12:41 AM] Wack'd: Gotta circle back to that at some point, probably [12:41 AM] Wack'd: But not right now [12:42 AM] Wack'd: hrrrrrrg

[12:43 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is also leaving, having decided he's not going to harrass Frankie [12:43 AM] Wack'd: Instead, he's gonna get hit by a laser, I guess

[12:44 AM] maxwellelvis: Also, Johnny's dialogue here? CRIMSON BANNER RIGHT THERE [12:44 AM] Wack'd: I have no idea what that means [12:44 AM] maxwellelvis: Red flag [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Oh yeah [12:45 AM] Wack'd: I mean [12:45 AM] maxwellelvis: I mean more so than usual, y'see. [12:45 AM] Wack'd: He's deciding not to harass her until she confesses her deepest traumas and decides to date him again? [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Seems like kind of the opposite [12:45 AM] Wack'd: A green...something [12:46 AM] Bocaj: green street sign [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: The way he's been acting since finding out she's got a phobia of fire has been... [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: very much not how you treat that sort of thing, even for the 70's [12:47 AM] Wack'd: hahahahahahahahaahahah this is so fucking stupid i love it

[12:49 AM] Wack'd: So Reed, Sue, and Ben head off to rescue Franklin and Agatha, with Ben shooting off a flare to see if Johnny will notice anything's up [12:49 AM] Wack'd: (He won't) [12:50 AM] Wack'd: And shortly thereafter the Fantasticar is shot by another one of those lasers, which transport them to an even bigger, spookier haunted house than Whisper Hill [12:50 AM] Wack'd: "It's darker than Doctor Doom's soul in here," quips Reed [12:50 AM] Bocaj: Weirdly poetic for him [12:51 AM] Wack'd: They find Johnny, completely out of it, hanging from a banister by his shirt [12:52 AM] Wack'd: And then there is this asshole

[12:52 AM] Wack'd: The Eliminator is here to dispose of any evidence that Agatha Harkness ever lived [12:52 AM] Wack'd: And that includes living evidence [12:52 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [12:53 AM] maxwellelvis: TECHNOMAGES! See! Maria was right! They ARE real! [12:54 AM] Wack'd: Sue is like "okay, fuck this, I'm gonna force field this doofus" [12:54 AM] Wack'd: And then she is atomized [12:54 AM] Wack'd: Len Wein sure likes to set Sue up to do something cool and then have her unceremoniously disposed of [12:55 AM] Wack'd: OH OKAY NEVER MIND [12:55 AM] Wack'd: She only pretended to be atomized so that the Eliminator wouldn't suspect anything if a hit didn't land [12:55 AM] Wack'd: Using invisibility [12:56 AM] Bocaj: As I would say "I can't believe Sue Storm is dead forever and now the book will be about <x inane thing> from now on" [12:56 AM] Wack'd: And then she saves Reed and Ben from getting got, and uses the force fields to block their life signs so Eliminator thinks they're dead [12:56 AM] Bocaj: I guess force fields can do that [12:56 AM] Wack'd: Yep [12:56 AM] Wack'd: Johnny then follows his sister's lead and pretends to blow himself up on a suicide run [12:57 AM] Wack'd: The Eliminator, having eliminated the last of the witnesses to Agatha's existence, congratulates himself on a job well done and starts to self-destruct [12:57 AM] Wack'd: And then the Four all pop to their feet and tell him they're fine. Just to mock him in his dying moments [12:57 AM] Wack'd: And then he explodes [12:57 AM] Bocaj: ... wow [12:58 AM] Bocaj: thats [12:58 AM] Bocaj: wow [12:58 AM] Wack'd: Weirdly cruel actually [12:58 AM] maxwellelvis: That's like something the Seventh Doctor would do [12:58 AM] Wack'd: But he did just try to murder them and may or may not have murdered their prepubescent child and family friend [12:58 AM] Wack'd: So he earned it, honestly [12:59 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [12:59 AM] Wack'd: With that done with they're more determined than ever to find out if Franklin and Agatha are still alive [12:59 AM] Wack'd: (I mean spoilers, they are, but they don't know that) [01:00 AM] Bocaj: Like I said, Agatha is sometimes a ghost and it doesn't mean anything. Vitality is just something that does or doesn't happen [01:00 AM] Wack'd: Maybe she's a lich and she cloned her own body so she could wear it like a suit sometimes [01:00 AM] Wack'd: Who's to say [01:01 AM] Bocaj: Who's to say indeed

Thur Aug 22 2019 [01:02 AM] Wack'd: I dig the hell out of this Gaspar guy's lettering

[01:02 AM] Wack'd: Man I wish hand-lettering was still a thing in comics [01:02 AM] Wack'd: I miss it [01:02 AM] Wack'd: Like there's not necessarily any merit to doing it for dialogue bubbles but for stuff like this it's invaluable [01:03 AM] maxwellelvis: It feels like he just got back from seeing Dr. Strangelove or something for the writer and illustrator credits. [01:03 AM] Wack'd: I got more of a Batman TAS vibe personally [01:03 AM] maxwellelvis: That too [01:03 AM] Wack'd: With the low center of gravity on the Es [01:03 AM] Wack'd: And the big round Os [01:04 AM] maxwellelvis: I just had Strangelove on my mind is all [01:04 AM] Wack'd: It's good lettering [01:04 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, last issue, I forgot to mention because it was on a two-page spread that was rendered [01:04 AM] Wack'd: Really small for some reason [01:04 AM] Wack'd: But they found a metallic egg in the woods outside the big gothic mansion [01:04 AM] Wack'd: And have now determined it's probably where Eliminator came from [01:05 AM] Wack'd: So Reed's doing his workaholic best to figure out something about it to save Franklin and Agatha [01:06 AM] Wack'd: Reed manages to pinpoint the metal to somewhere in the Colorado Rockies [01:07 AM] Wack'd: Also, waaaaaay back in #39 the team lost their powers so Reed's hauled his old extendo-arms from out of the basement to cover for his lack of stretching [01:07 AM] Wack'd: This requires him to wear his 60s uniform for some reason

[01:07 AM] maxwellelvis: They were probably built into the suit. [01:08 AM] Wack'd: And then Sue and Johnny also get into their 60s uniforms because Len Wein seems determined to rehash literally every ounce of the Kirby years for moral support [01:08 AM] maxwellelvis: *literally every ounce of the Kirby years Roy Thomas hasn't already [01:08 AM] Wack'd: Generally when Thomas or even Conway brought back stuff from the past it was to put a new spin on it. Wein seems to just do it because he likes it [01:10 AM] Wack'd: JOHNNY HAS MADE MODIFICATIONS TO THE POGO PLANE [01:10 AM] Wack'd: THIS CAN ONLY GO WELL [01:10 AM] Wack'd: Remember the last time Johnny was allowed to so much as touch this thing he and Medusa got stranded in the Himilayas [01:11 AM] Wack'd: So they land in the Rockys [01:11 AM] Wack'd: And Johnny has built--I shit you not--a hot-rod-in-a-box [01:12 AM] Bocaj: huh [01:12 AM] maxwellelvis: Like, like you throw it on the ground and BOMB! there's a hot rod? [01:13 AM] Wack'd: Some assembly required but the implication is that Johnny has done this in like five minutes

[01:13 AM] Wack'd: And so the Four go exploring in the whopping one tiny town they found in the Rockies in hopes this is anything [01:14 AM] Wack'd: Reed has Ben do his old Ninja Turtle shtick because Len Wein is nostalgic so no one notices them [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Everything about this man screams "trustworthy"

[01:15 AM] Bocaj: That’s impressive facial hair [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Not just a twirly mustache but a beard you can also twirl in two directions [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Also his name is SCRATCH [01:16 AM] Wack'd: You know, like THE DEVIL??? [01:16 AM] Wack'd: The Four find nothing odd about this at all [01:16 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Truly, I have never known a more trustworthy name [01:16 AM] maxwellelvis: "Nick Scratch" [01:16 AM] maxwellelvis: That's not even TRYING [01:17 AM] Wack'd: The Four wander around this tiny town aimlessly for a bit and then give up [01:18 AM] Wack'd: But Agatha sees this from her window and realizes she has to do something, even if it means alerting her captors [01:18 AM] Wack'd: So she raises A GAINT WALL OF FLAMES around--oh right, also this town is named NEW SALEM [01:18 AM] Wack'd: You dinguses [01:18 AM] Bocaj: oh [01:18 AM] Bocaj: New Salem comes back up again for the Scarlet Witch Vision maxi series [01:19 AM] Bocaj: The one where Vision dry humps a mystical pregnancy into Wanda [01:19 AM] Wack'd: Was it ever really time for deception at all? Signs point to "no"

[01:20 AM] Wack'd: "YOU!", Sue yells, like this was a surprise or something

[01:21 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this asshole summons a bunch of gargoyles to fight the Four [01:21 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [01:21 AM] Bocaj: I’m sick of fighting silly fights! [01:21 AM] Bocaj: heeheehee [01:21 AM] Wack'd: "No one had yet considered that I could hit people hard with things"

[01:22 AM] Bocaj: A force field with momentum is a blunt object and trauma [01:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway they best all the gargoyles so Nick Scratch unleashes his most terrifying plan yet [01:23 AM] Wack'd: "Why're you hitting yourself, why're you hitting yourself, why're you hitting yourself"

[01:23 AM] Wack'd: Also this is a thing that happens

[01:25 AM] maxwellelvis: I wonder if, when these two were kids, and Franklin Storm had to tell young Sue to stop hitting her brother, if he ever imagined that ^ would happen? [01:26 AM] Wack'd: I think if his powers of foresight were that good he wouldn't have gone to prison and then died tragically [01:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, they're defeated, darkest hour, yada yada yada let's get on with it

#1977 #Len Wein #George Pérez #The Main Book

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wirewitchviolet · 7 years ago

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The New McCarthyism

Today is International Trans Day of Visibility, which is as good a day as any for me to write about a very serious issue trans people are facing, which really needs more mainstream attention. Trans people are being actively erased from public visibility, in a surprisingly literal sense, and we have been for quite some time.

Back in the 1940s-50s, there was this nasty little thing called the Hollywood blacklist. In theory it was an effort to deal with dangerous spies, but in practice it lead to a massive witch hunt, where anyone who anyone had a big enough problem with would be painted as an enemy of the state, and any denial of such was presented as “proof” because “that’s just what a communist would say!” This was part of a general trend now referred to as McCarthyism to just arbitrarily paint people as “dangerous” and deny them any sort of career or platform to defend themselves. And of course various forms of prejudice piggybacked along on this, with LGBT people in Hollywood in particular being quite paranoid for the decade.

Those lists were backed up with fear of inquisition from specially created government committees, but mainly enforced by studio executives and others holding the reins of power passing around lists of people not to work with, making it nearly impossible for anyone targeted to find employment. The modern blacklist though is much more efficient, preventing those targeted (mostly trans people and those willing to stick up for us) from finding employment or even holding conversations, in a more or less entirely automated process. To explain just how that works though, first we need to have a brief discussion about Twitter.

Twitter represents a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Stand-Up comics use it as a quick way to test new material. Corporations use it as one of many vectors for for making announcements and PR statements (along with very bizarre one on one interactions with people mentioning their products). A lot of people use it as their primary vector for socialization, sending messages to friends, posting personal announcements, party invites, and so on. Some people use it as a news source, particularly those who have a particular special interest, as informal networks passing around story links make it impressively easy to stay up to date on every development of a certain type. Anyone doing any sort of creative work uses it for all their networking. And of course, radicalized bigots use it as a means of coordinating attacks against targets of whatever minority status they have a particular interest in that day. We’ll come back to that point, but allow me a moment to elaborate on the networking.

Personally, I wear a lot of different hats. I’m a game designer. I’m an artist. I’m a writer, of both news and fiction. I’m a professional critic. And I’m an activist for a number of causes. All of these fields depend on networking. And all of these fields have somehow decided that that networking is going to take place almost, or entirely, on twitter. I was hugely reluctant, personally, to ever register a Twitter account, and spent a few very confused years watching my carefully curated network of e-mail lists, message boards, and gossipy industry friends dry up completely. Having properly established a foothold in twitter however, I have lightning fast access to the ability to find work. Within an hour of anyone having the idle thought to ask if anyone out there has experience writing about a topic I have an interest in, that request will have flowed through whatever network is relevant in a string of reposts, landing right in front of me, along with a few quick tools for me to work out if the person making this request is someone I’d actually want to work with and vice versa. Literally every cent I have earned, job I have interviewed for, and update about a cause I’m concerned with has come to me this way, and only this way, since registering a Twitter account. Without one, I’d be completely unable to work in any of these fields.

Unfortunately, as anyone who relies on Twitter for their profession and lacks the luxury of being a white cis man, Twitter has a rather pronounced nazi problem. That is to say, neo-nazi organizations have come to the realization that they will face zero repercussions for using the site as a vector to launch absolutely vicious or even criminal attacks on their targets. As Twitter has made it abundantly clear that no real measures will be taken to address this under the current management, the only real tool available to the userbase is a block feature which prevents direct mentions from a blocked user to display to the user imposing the block (although these messages will still display for everyone else), and preventing the blocked user from viewing their posts (without first signing out or opening a private window).

Enter blocktogether.org, a site where any Twitter user can share a list of everyone they’ve ever blocked with subscribers, refreshing with each new block. If you were to subscribe to my Block Together list for instance, you would instantly block the several thousand malicious trolls I’ve blocked over the years for sending me harassing messages, plua a handful of people I happened to take personal offense to, and you would automatically block the next batch of 100 trolls I weed out of my twitter replies without any further input or notification. The appeal as a stopgap for an essentially unmoderated website is clear, as should be the mental image of a clique of bratty high school children lording The List as an instrument of social power. Note also the handy links to automatically block all newly registered accounts, or those with low post counts.

Originally, typical usage of Block Together involves picking a particular favored celebrity whose list to subscribe to, filtering from your view anyone that celebrity has taken issue with. In 2014 however, in the face of a massive neo-nazi uprising on twitter, a woman named Randi Harper hit upon the idea of writing a script to scan through twitter’s database of users, identify anyone following the majority of a list of known neo-nazi leaders, compiling them into a list which an automated twitter account would then block, updating daily, for a theoretical constantly updated list of every neo-nazi account, which combined with Block Together would preemptively keep them all out. A number of other lists followed suit, using similar logic to target members of other violent reactionary groups.

For a brief window, when Twitter’s neo-nazi insurgency was in its infancy, and individual hate groups and botnet owners were using the site to coordinate, and totally indiscriminate in choosing new targets, these lists were largely considered to be a necessity to make the site usable for anyone working in certain fields, particularly reporters, civil rights activists, game designers, and anyone working in the entertainment industry. As a result, Harper became a minor celebrity, whose personal Block Together list was subscribed to by much of Hollywood, the press, and those in activist circles, as neo-nazis worked out how to easily circumvent the automated list.

Unfortunately, Harper is not a conscientious, responsible, career activist, but a random computer programmer with a short temper and some serious personal biases and bigotries. In particular, her personal list of blocks contains hundreds of trans people, and vocal supporters thereof. Anyone subscribing to her Block Together list, advertised as “almost entirely” nazis, inadvertently blocks a significant trans population. Anyone raising this subject to Harper is also immediately placed on the list, and animosity over the subject once caused her to personally write a post on the reddit board of the very neo-nazis her list was created to thwart, encouraging those sending death threats to her and her son over the manufactured scandal of the day to instead target “Someone that goes on long unstable diatribes, thinks I'm a terf [a term for members of a particular dangerous hate group targeting trans women], yells a lot about Jesse [Singal, another notorious figure in trans circles, with a history of both fetishizing trans women and writing propaganda pieces designed to erode trans people’s rights, and repopularize conversion therapy for trans children].“

This post lead to immediate attacks against every trans person with any notable Twitter presence, along with our extended families, ranging from death threats, to abusive calls to elderly relatives, to coordinated efforts spread possible addresses, e-mail accounts, and phone numbers far and wide to aid in SWAT attacks and similarly dangerous behavior. There was, of course, absolutely no public outcry or acknowledgement of this, as both victims and those inclined to speak on their behalf had already been added to Harper’s Block Together list, which was subscribed to by exactly the sort of media voices who make it a point to raise awareness of such incidents.

Here lies the most obvious danger of this new form of McCarthyism. If a particular Block Together list is widely adopted within a given circle of people, the maintainer of that list can abuse their power, adding the names of those they’d like to see disappear for the pettiest of reasons, those so added effectively vanish from that circle completely, unable to explain what happened. The effectiveness of this is further strengthened by the sheer pervasiveness of these lists, making it unclear exactly which “anti-nazi” list one may have been added to, the intensity of the taboo Twitter users place on objecting to being blocked (bearing in mind that even those of us doing so by hand typically have thousands of trolls whining about having been blocked by us, and the impossibility of distinguishing the name of a complete stranger from the dozen people shouting slurs at us last week), and the fact that a subscriber to a list will not automatically block anyone they manually follow. So, hypothetically, if you were to be added to Harper’s list, and conferred with friends in an attempt to determine why you were suddenly cut off from interacting with the entertainment industry at large, those friends subscribed to that list would be just as in the dark as you.

Harper is far from alone in abusing Block Together in this fashion, and it is alarmingly common for trans people to suffer the most. Long lists of innocent trans people get discreetly added into lists advertised as filtering out misogynists, racists, homophobes, and the just recently, even a list explicitly created to shut out anti-trans bigots had one of its administrators load in a staggering number of trans people in an act of pure frustration and malice.

Often, these lists will note that a certain percentage of those blocked will be false positives, phrased in a way that makes them sound like acceptable casualties of war. A handful of strangers you’d never likely interact with to begin with losing access to you seems like a small price to pay for shutting 100,000 bigots out of your life, after all, but this is completely inexcusable when looked at from the other side of the equation.

As mentioned earlier, for people in many careers, unfettered Twitter access is a basic requirement in order to be able to work at all. As a freelance game designer, the entire industry inadvertently blacklisting you prevents you from ever responding to an open call. A struggling actor can’t learn about potential roles. A reporter can’t pitch story ideas to editors. A freelance artist can’t circulate a portfolio. This sort of thing is particularly devastating to the trans community at large, because we face intense discrimination in face to face interactions. As an unusually large and hairy woman, people find my presence uncomfortable, and routinely immediately reject me immediately as I sit down for any sort of interview. A man who comes across as slight and feminine has similar problems, and non-binary people unnerve potential employers in ways they can’t even put into words. This forces us into creative fields, the gig economy, and freelance work in general, where again, a single petty person throwing our names into a list can completely block off entire career paths along with our means to object.

Additionally, Block Together lists don’t actually have any real impact on combating the sort of mass harassment they’re touted as a cure for. Practically none of those hundred thousand accounts a given list might claim to block are actually active. As there are no real limits to a single person setting up an absurd number of Twitter accounts, those inclined to use the site as a vector of abuse have thousands if not millions of spare, disposable accounts, set up years ago as “sleeper agents,” destined to be used in a one-off flyby attack, and then never used again, at least against the same target, and if they ever run out, registering new ones isn’t a particular barrier.

Even after establishing that the abuse of these blacklists is something to take seriously, dealing with them is a seriously daunting task. The first barrier of course is raising awareness. This very article is bound to have a hard time making inroads with those who need to be made aware of the issue because they’re cut off from so many of those affected. Even once one is aware though, unsubscribing from one of these lists does nothing to undo the damage to those added to it.

Consider for instance the somewhat high profile case of Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Stand by Me, The Big Bang Theory, Tabletop). Wheaton is a genuinely well-meaning celebrity, concerned with mass-abuse campaigns, and an avid supporter of Block Together, having circulated his own blocks for some time, and being one of the first to subscribe to Harper’s aforementioned list. Due to the nature of Block Together, subscribing to Harper’s list caused all of her personal petty blocks and odd grudge against trans people in general to propagate to Wheaton, and from there, anyone subscribing to his list, or a list belonging to one of his subscribers.

Having over three million followers and a very good reputation, Wheaton’s list being infected in this manner was absolutely devastating to those spitefully added by Harper, becoming an incredibly far reaching blacklist. Upon being made aware of this situation thanks to a friend sharing an earlier piece on this subject, Wheaton promptly unsubscribed from Harper’s list, and manually unblocked those he was directly made aware had been affected. Unfortunately, Block Together’s functionality has no real “undo” button. Every block Wheaton acquired from Harper remains after unsubscribing from her list, and remains for everyone unsubscribing from Wheaton’s.

The only way for those placed on the blacklist to regain a normal level of access to the site would be to compile a list of those affected by blacklists of this nature (this Twitter account incidentally explicitly follows the best such list its creator is aware of), and for every individual to have subscribed to, really, any Block Together list at any point, to personally run threw these false positives, by hand, unblocking each one. Again, it’s difficult enough to spread awareness of the situation to everyone who would need to take action to remedy it, and said necessary action is frankly a fairly involving task, which for any individual is going to feel like a lot of work for no real benefit, either for themselves, or for the random strangers whose lives they are impacting in a very abstract, single drop in a vast ocean sort of way.

The practical upshot of all of this is that any given person with the ability to market a Block Together list is capable of doing massive, life-ruining damage to anyone who relies on Twitter for their livelihood, instantaneously, at any time, with virtually no chance of it ever coming to light, and even less chance of that damage ever being undone. And this is routinely used by people whose positions make them seemingly the last sort to ever do so to completely destroy the livelihoods of trans people en masse, while also making it nearly impossible for us to even beg for support in the aftermath.

I have no real solution for this problem. The best I can do is plead that you never subscribe to a Block Together list, and raise awareness of this issue, possibly by linking out this article. A lot of people I know, myself included are facing homelessness thanks to the brutal efficiency of this discrimination tactic, and even those devastating results are rendered invisible.

#tdov #trans awareness #discrimination

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