#it always does random shit to my formatting in post

[sweaty-toothedpoet]

your eyes

dark apple seeds cradled in the groove below your brow,

hair sweetly mussed from the touch of my palms

grin curved scythe-like,

and i fall,

trembling fawn soft,

the spillage of my flesh as wine

into your arms

for if i am to be taken by any grim reaper,

there would be none

as loved as you

[l-norris]

This is it - the last race before the summer break (thank fuck, God knows we all need it) is underway, and I have once again decided to bless your feed with my random yapping about what happens in the race :)

Have fun!

DISCLAIMER: Remember that this is just for shits and giggles, I'm not trying to actually hate on any of the drivers cuz all (most) of them are very dear to me!

As always: Numbers in brackets = lap number

- I stopped building my Lego Mercedes for this

- Formation lap starts

- Almost everyone is on Mediums

- it's not raining for once btw

- Sunny day in Belgium, what a shocker.

- Yuki 60 place grid penalty

- Mans is starting from Hungary

- Max 10 place grid penalty

- It's lights out and away we go!

- Lando bottled the start pt. idk (boy pls😭)

- George and Alex go wide

- I think Hungary damaged McLaren as a whole😔

- Went from a top contender team to a middle field team in a matter of days😨

- Charles is still first

- Max is already in 8th

- Behind Lando

- I am in despair

- Alex noted for leaving the track and gaining an advantage (2)

- Lewis overtakes Charles (3)

- Now leads the race

- Guanyu has no power (3)

- "He is destined for another race of misery" BROTHER😭

- Calling it now Max will win the race.

- "This might be a strategic masterplan of Ferrari" Crofty please don't lie to yourself

- Guanyu got the car running again

- "Something is moving down by my legs"

- Okay Lewis

- sounds familiar

- Guanyu retires (7)

- Hulk pits (8)

- Alex, Danny and Logan pit (9)

- Lewis is told to lift and coast

- Pierre pits (10)

- DRS train without Fernando... how weird

- Max and George pit (11)

- Mum pick me up I'm scared

- So many people pit (12)

- Including Lewis, Oscar, Valtteri and Checo

- Ferrari strategists bottling it once again

- Lewis almost crashes into Oscar in the pitlane omg (13)

- Oscar fastest lap (14)

- "Straight line speed is a fucking joke"

- Duh Lance, you're driving a fucking Aston Martin. The hell do you expect?

- Lando pits (15)

- Carlos in the gravel

- French civil war reenactment (Esteban overtakes Pierre)

- "Don't worry about it, Lando."

- War flashbacks

- He did, in fact, need to worry about it.

- Oh btw Carlos leads the race (19)

- I keep mixing up Alpines special liveries with Haas

- Anyone else? No? Just me? Okay.

- Checo parks the bus to keep George in front of Max LOL

- Carlos FINALLY pits (20)

- Alpines are faster than Aston Martin🫣

- Ferrari try a 1-stop...?? What the hell??

- George finally passes Checo (21)

- Max now behind his teammate

- Checo pits...? (22)

- indirect teamorders mayhaps?

- Lando in Max' DRS window

- "We are very slow on the straights"

- No Checo that's just you🙏🏻

- Lando is NOT catching up to Max (24)

- I'm praying for another Miami atp

- Ferrari fuck Charles' pitstop (25)

- Lewis pits (26)

- What was that camera angle on Lewis' pitstop😵‍💫

- Oscar leads for now (27)

- "Beware the quiet man" So true Crofty

- Carlos pits again (29)

- Do you reckon Oscar can bring it home in a one-stop?

- Lando pits (29)

- teamorders @ redbull

- Oscar pits (30)

- and hits the jackman🫣

- Lando overtakes Checo easily (31)

- George is really doing a one-stop

- Madman

- It's getting spicy between Max and Lando

- Nevermind, Max started pushing

- The fact he wasn't even pushing... yikes

- Oscar fights Charles for P3

- AND HE DOES IT! (35)

- Amazing move from Oscar here

- Danny Ric is in the points! I repeat! Danny Ric is in the points!

- Carlos overtakes Checo (39)

- That's embarrassing🫣

- Lewis in DRS window of George (41)

- it's getting exciting towards the end

- Checo pits?? (43)

- Final lap!

- OSCAR IN DRS WINDOW

- That mf really did it - he won on a one stop

- MERCEDES 1-2

- OSCAR P3

- WOWOWOWOW

- Also on a side note Checo finished P8

- So who's in the second Red Bull after summer break?

- Place your bets here!

- Anyways

- This was so fucking stressful

- but so exciting all the same.

- Onto the summer break (thank fuck)

- After the race, George's car was found to be a few kgs lighter than regulations state it needs to be.

🚨POST RACE BREAKING NEWS🚨

- 7pm local time: it has been confirmed - George Russell has been disqualified from the Belgian GP.

- George is facing a possible DSQ due to this.

- All of this came about at approx. 6:30 pm local time and is being investigated.

- This is the worst day of my life

- Well... after all that happened we sure as fuck need a break. A long one.

... Holy moly. That one was an emotional rollercoaster. And just after I said we need the summer break desperately. I really enjoyed the race (except for the whole George DSQ thing) but at the same I can't be more happy about summer break after these last two races😵‍💫

Have a nice summer break everyone, hope to see you even in the off-time occasionally!

[talonbite4596]

This took over 20 hours to make I'm deceased... I'm glad it's done I need a break lol

Close ups on the pins under the cut!! (And some extra little notes for fun)

The formatting and graphic design could be better but, again, I just want to be done 😭 so ummm oops sorry !!

Yay yum yayaya art woooo yes !!!

More notes for fun !!

- when I say "loves animals (... not many, but still)" it means he can, has, and WILL burn squirrels alive for free entertainment, as well as shooting animals for fun... but he would also cry and feel awful if he stepped on a dog's foot... he's got favorites, basically, and does NOT hide it

- sun freckles, because why not

- kinda a dirty kid... literally the definition of "boys will be boys 🤪" where he's just always getting into the weirdest shit. You take your eyes off him for 1 second and he returns with mud all over himself and probably has a cat or something and just has the dumbest smile on his face !!! Idiot kid love him tho

- I added a gir pin because I love gir and for fun, doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.... just roll with it !!

- made him Trans bc psychonauts as a whole is a trans allegory in my mind so, it made sense !! And because he's... 10 he hasn't done anything medical yet, just socially transitioned !! (Adding this point because some people see that and think the wrong things, like those ppl who think 4 year Olds are getting surgery and forcefully getting hormones jabbed into them. NO that's not happening)

- if he was a 2000s kid he'd like a lot of different things, like Mario and sonic games, and certain TV shows and movies (like invader zim, pokemon shows/movies, Disney stuff etc. Just general kids stuff yk?)

- sasha gave him coffee once.... he then proceeded to ramble about random things for hours while he tried to help work on things. So, he was able to focus better but won't shut UP (I'm projecting)

- he enjoys media that reminds him of himself, which is the "odd man out" type stuff, it helps him feel better about feeling like he doesn't belong bc he knows he isn't alone. It's sad but it helps him idk!!

OKAY IM DONE (for now) but yippee wow isn't that cool !!! I'm curious what yall think so lmk if u wanna !! I love hearing what Y'all think of my stuff, and I might post more headcanon type stuff later on if that's something ur interested in, honestly just send me an ask if u wanna know my hc for specific characters!!

OKAY goodbye drink water 💖

[maddgical-boy]

remakin my pinned post bc i love spending hours on fun formats. anyways

⸝⸝⊂➜﹒it's me! ⊃⸝⸝

call me V! ☆ he/him ☆ minor (strictly 18+ only blogs block me)

hello all! here i post about all things daydreaming-related, as well as some self insert stuff since there is big overlap there for me. this place kinda fluctuates between maladaptive daydreaming woes and immersive daydreaming fun times!! yay!!

i have mainly fictparacosms (paracosms of existing fictional media). i'm kinda shy about them so i don't discuss them as much but please be respectful when i do. they do not always line up with canon and i just want to be happy and have a fun time.

✨💕 this blog is a safe space for all madders/iders and whatever you daydream about. even if it's considered really dark nasty shit, and even if it's willingly! fiction is fiction my friends. 💕✨

feel free to send asks about your paracosms or just anything at all! tumblr is buggy and i am chronically ill so i may not get to it right away, but rest easy knowing each ask is treasured in my heart <3 i'm shy but i want to interact with you all.

***if you're asking about madd and/or id specifically, know i am not an expert. i am just a guy hanging out.***

no dni, just be kind! i make big use of the block button if i don't like your vibes or even if we just don't agree about stuff. unfortunately my block barrier from my main doesn't extend to sideblogs and i have to block separately from here, which i sometimes forget to do. so blanket statement for all my blogs and socials:

🚫 TERFS AND ZIONISTS/PRO-ISRAEL PEOPLE GTFO 🚫

and hey! if you can spare some money check out the #palestine fundraisers tag on my main! 🇵🇸❤️

if you want to see more of my silly self talking about other random things, my main is @diabolicaldash!

below are paracosms & tags!

paracosms ☁︎‎‎‧₊˚*��

these fluctuate in and out of how relevant they are to me, especially because god cursed my interests to wholly take over my life and then suddenly evaporate like sweat and make me feel sad and lonely. this is also why i have random mini paracosms that only come out of hibernation if my hyperfixation does too! lmao

───-> REVAMPING LATER! might make a whole post to link here... offer your thoughts on this? 🚧

tags i'll use ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

i love using tags i love organizing i love formatting i love archiving ＼(^▽^＠)ノ ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ ~(≧◇≦)/ﾞﾞﾞ

my original posts -> #v stops daydreaming for a sec.txt

reblogs -> #rebloggled

answering asks -> #v answers asks

vents about madd -> # vent, #intrusive daydreaming // all of these are ok to rb unless i turn rbs off!

positivity about daydreaming -> #positivity <3

my art -> #my art

useful madd-related things -> #useful

anything not daydreaming-related, for whatever reason -> #not madd

...and probably other tags i'm forgetting! yayyy!!

all paracosms and paras are tagged #like this* to avoid anything (like fictpara stuff) showing up in big public tags because i am Scared

dividers: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[needlesknick-knacks]

Heck yes, Needle! Let’s go! The writing/ editing room really needs your and your ideas. Piracy for the win & so many good comics I need to get to know outta will + spite.

The guys have ruined so many characters for too long outta not caring bout variety & consistency since they’ve been comic writers for so long. No more. 

(Even the female writer Devin Grayson has messed up a bit with Dick D though. So idk more cultural sensitivity training? To not caricature them or use offensive terms. Too much to unpack here cause this is long as is. Still doesn’t negate we need more people in the writers room and more idk cultural consultants for new ocs from places + research)

We actually think of the individual characters + their core stories like morals. Also about timeline (mostly), facts, previous history of the character & consequences to the overall story.  

And not just ‘yo, dude I think that chick would look so good here. Nah, you can’t use her in yours then. Imma call dibs.’ Like ughhh. They’re not objects & deserve their agency. Stop flanderising/ assassinating characters, DC.

Be loud, take up space, share ideas. We think ‘oh no, this is too ooc’ but we extrapolate from canon and throw away lines and things that would fit and flesh em out. 

We can bring the whimsy of the 90s back along with better things. Like characters actually being themselves as close as we can get and not just random skinwalkers with their names, faces and costumes 

The amount of bs ‘wtf storyline’ comics I have read for obscure characters though lols. 

Do the writers have a DC word doc where they try & make sense of shit? 

Not as elaborate as mine. Which is like 350 pages & counting (been doing this since last year I think?). Putting the passion in passion project. 

Not just BatfamCatClan, the Wonderfams, Superfams, Canary Kin (was like f, it we need to let Dinah also have her own ones cause she does have a cast), Martian Fam (he does have a supporting cast too but dc don’t give no fs. Cryingggg). Aquafams. More but not gonna ramble.

Do they know the many changes these characters went through? Yeah, nah. Do I? Yep. Mostly. Their pets, their fave things if I can, their blood type (dc why did you tell us their blood types lols). 

I used to think I did too much research & deep dive on things but nope, we need it.

Comics should have dedicated consistency teams. 

DC needs to bring back their Bat guide/ bible. They have one. It’s from idk when. Lemme find it

Found the thing but not the og post. I didn’t get to read through this all that much (skimmed it before cause I was like I need time to devour this)

Obviously outdated ish but this is a start & an amazing find to base things off. 

but I remember the intro & it’s the canon batbible of the 90s. (It’s mobile format apparently. Not into code but I was like is tumblr lying to me saying it’s broken? ?m=1 is apparently for the mobile format! Cool)

https://theotherscottpeterson.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-batbible.html?m=1

This was gonna be a reply to your post but got too big so is an ask now! 

I should use my DC sideblog again ngl. I will (hopefully) after exams 

ty for this, i always love reading ur responses lol!! will and spite fuel me too 🙏🙏

sigh u ever read something and just go oh this was written by a straight white man...as for devin grayson, women in the industry will be heavily scrutinised but that doesn't free them from mistakes either (i could say this for someone like gail simone too tbh, but its been a while since i read her bad stuff) and some of grayson's choices are...something. but shes not even in the industry anymore, so i think we need to direct the full force of our vitriol onto people who still are and deserve it (coughcough tom king coughcough). but i fully believe we need to support any girls and women who want to become writers in the big 2, lord knows we need more of them

its actually wild how some writers seem allergic to reading the previous comics of the characters they're writing...blows my mind, especially when dedicated fans do it, so why can't they?

love ur thoughts here!! reading, sharing ideas, talking is how we learn! plus, its fun!! the reason we go through all this is cuz we do like this medium, and we just want it to be better

the wtf storylines i feel u on. silver age my beloved :3

that doc sounds AMAZING. and all the different families too!! wish dc would share the spotlight and stop shoving the bats everywhere

also ty for the link, looks very interesting and i shall be perusing it hehe

best of luck on ur exams!!!

[the-phantom-otaku]

Meet my Tav, Midna!

I've been debating on sharing her for a bit bc I'm indecisive.

She's a Mephistopheles Tiefling Fighter with a "soldier" background (she took up jobs similar to Karlach where she was basically a guard of some kind.)

She's kind-hearted, stubborn, and just a little bit reckless. She's the type to take a dagger to the stomach for her companions. Though she's usually nice, she isn't above getting nasty if the situation or individual calls for it. She's also known to be cheeky from time to time, usually to Astarion in response to his own snark. She's probably got at least a little taste for danger as she's always getting herself into it. I suppose you could also say she's a bit of a bleeding heart bc a sad little story just might make her fold.

I'm sure you already guessed, but she's paired with Astarion despite the two being very different in terms of personality.

I've also got a little quest in mind for her. Idk if it'll stick, but the gist is that Mephistopheles' blood runs thicker in her family due to relations he had with them long ago, so she has (or had) a blessed symbol of Selune to keep the demonic blood in check. She loses said blessed item in the Naulitoid crash, leading her to discover exactly what her heritage entails. Pls forgive me for not knowing shit about DND past BG3, so this may not work like at all.

And here's some random little facts:

-She loves many types of animals. Dragons, tressyms, owlbears, dogs, cats, etc.

-She also loves kids.

-She also loves the moon and stars, as does her mother.

-She can draw or at least sketch. Night guard duty got really boring a lot of the time.

-She's not half-bad at Three-Dragon Ante, though she usually plays for the sport of it and not for gold.

-She has a keen interest in the artistry of weapons.

I think that's about it. There are a few things here that aren't set in stone about her bc I'm kinda just making up her personality and such as I go. I might post a proper intro card for her later that has her info in a more compact format.

[softness-and-shattering]

About the Mean Girls musical movie

I know Ive had conversations before about the cultural context stuff, that it seems like the message was not as effective as the first movie when the stuff its talking about, how girls are wrong whatever they do and everything is up for criticism and filming, and you have to pretend to be sweet and kind fairy princesses instead of being allowed to be human. And Id have to go back and find those posts to see what I do and dont agree with now. Because I just saw the movie. And honestly, I liked it. A lot of the visuals were really fun and interesting, which I think is impressive in a movie that mostly takes place inside of a high school. Regina more than once looks like she's in a music video, and that works because shes so hyped, its like she lives in a reality where not only do people break into song, but she's always in a music video. She really sells the character, self-assured and in charge and perfectly manipulative, and even when she's being vulnerable you're like, but is this another deception? She's more villainous in this version, and by the end maybe more human as well. (also the costuming is phenomenal, that Halloween angel dress?? The entire Halloween Someone Get Hurts sequence might be my favourite. )

Also Renee Rapp, who plays Regina, is just incredibly hot. She also played Regina on Broadway so it makes sense she has the character down. Thats not film critique thats my personal admiration. Its almost a little silly with the "oh no Regina is gaining weight she cant fit her clothes" because she looks amazing. [Edit: She's also obviously - I was gonna say she seems older than the other "teens" but actually she's 24, so Im having a moment of feeling old. And she's actually the same age as Auli'i Cravalho who is a lot younger in my mind because holy shit Moana came out EIGHT years ago?? Angourie Rice/Cady is 23, Jaquel Spivy/Damian is 26, Avantika/Karen is 19, thats more the age I thought they were but not the cast seems to be mostly 23-26. Its so weird when times moves the same for people while your image of them in your head stays the same. So Rapp isn't older she's just a bit bigger (neutral/positive). And she's been playing the role for a long time. And Im allowed to find her hot because she's a goddamn adult and so am I. This paragraph is not critique it is me blogging on my blog. Now Im annoyed at myself for Caveats of Fear but Im gonna stop dwelling on that now.]

On that note, though I originally liked the musical quite a lot, the significant fatphobia in it soured it for me. And Im happy to say in the musical movie, they changed or omitted those lines. I was waiting to cringe and they just sang something else. So that was great. I think the only fat character was Damian (why does that suddenly look like a vampire name?) - Jaquel Spivy - and he seemed comfy and cool, no self deprecating fat jokes or anything. Generally the lines/jokes that were uncomfortable or a bit bigoted have been changed. Though there isnt any disability rep, and theres a random character the burn book claims puts alcohol in her inhaler, like a 3 second joke.

And the big thing is that a lot of the meanness is shown in montages of vertical video and comments - no-brand tiktok obviously - and I think thats pretty realistic, and also in the original theme of not being mean to peoples faces but talking all kinds of shit behind their backs. And I think the montage format is effective in mimicking that endless scroll eyes glazing over stuck in the doom scroll/stuck in the spectacle. The music was good. I really liked how they overlaid the Spring Fling/thematic music with the math competition. If anything, Cady is not as good of a character, her Plastic switch is basically overnight, the scene with Aaron at the party is still kinda of awkward, she doesnt get as much room to breathe, while almost everyone else comes off really well. Heck even the candy cane/glen coco guy did well, I was actually suprised at how differently and yet excellently the actors acted their lines, compared both to the previous movie and the musical. Auli'i is fantastic, scary Janis is *scary*. And I simultaneously want to be her best friend. (It certainly helps that her art is augmented with embroidery and she's carrying embroidery hoops in multiple scenes. Fiber arts my loves.)

When I first saw a trailer my thoughts were "ugh we dont need another movie of this," but I think Ive changed my mind. Its similar enough and different enough that for me its a good adaptation. Also - I almost forgot to say - Janis gets a girlfriend for Spring Fling. Its not a plot point, we're just montaging getting ready and Janis goes to pick her up (in the lavender suit), and Damian is taking photos with two other sapphic couples. And he gets a crush/admirer who again, is just there to be there and doesnt interfere with the main story. I might change my mind again once its had time to settle in my thoughts, but initial impression is that its a fun movie I would watch again. Maybe we want the social commentary to be more incisive than it is, and in the end it is entertainment that needs to not be too boring to hold peoples shortening attention spans. (also neutral). Maybe thats wishing for it to be a movie that its not trying to be, and thats always a recipe for disappointment and also not great or fair analysis. What a fantastic line to end on*.

[valeffelees]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

thank you kindly for tagging me @shrekgogurt @youarenevertooold, and @monbons i've been seeing this game make its rounds on my dash and was really hoping someone would pull me in!

🦈 Tell us the name of one of your WIP(s)

my main three wips at the moment are without sun, ballad of the final sparrow, which is more commonly known as bitverse, and fragile things (and how to break them), but i've also been fucking around a bit the last two or three weeks with a new (terrible, evil, very self-indulgent) wip called god-forbid.

🍄 Describe one of your WIPs in the format of “___ + ___ =___”  

i think i might be dumb bc i don't understand this question at all.

🌍 What tags or warnings will your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

bitverse: heavy angst, psychological horror elements, alcohol abuse, allusions to suicide, unhealthy coping mechanisms, dead dove: do not eat.

🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

ballad of the final sparrow -> baz is typing fragile things (and how to break them) -> there's a werewolf in london god-forbid -> the gap between a tragedy and comedy

⚠️ Which WIP you’re most likely to finish or update next?

i have no idea. i mean, you'd think the answer would be without sun since it's the only fic i actually have posted at the moment, but unfortunately i am an untrustworthy villain.

💾 What is the document of your WIP called? (Not the story title, but what you’ve saved it as.)

same as the fic title. if i start a new wip and don't know what to call it, i'll pick something at random and add (working title) at the end.

🖍 Post any sentence from your WIP

from without sun:

“You don’t like peppermint,” he says. But maybe she does. Maybe that’s one more thing he can add to his growing list of things he got wrong about Agatha Wellbelove. No. 1 — Dislikes peppermint; actually, she is quite fond of it. No. 2 — Likes Simon Snow; him, not so much.

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

one of the biggest changes i made to the plot of without sun really early on was penelope's role in the story. i had a clear idea of the story i wanted to tell as soon as i saw the prompt for the fic. without sun was always supposed to be about more than simon and baz. the story is about grief and love, and the space we take up in the lives of the people around us. but n e way, in my orig draft, penny was actually supposed to be able to communicate with simon a bit, and there was gonna be a whole sect of scenes in the middle of the fic where they sat around together trying to break simon's curse what we know and what we don't know style via passing notes. i ended up tossing this idea really quickly tho, and i'm glad i did bc one of my favourite moments i've ever written in any fic happens in chapter two of without sun and it belongs to simon and penny.

🤔 What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

so many. or, well—what counts as "haven't even started"? i hate to let ideas sit around in my head bc it feels like leaving raspberries in the fridge for too long, like that shit is gonna get mould on it, so usually the first thing i do is rough out a few scenes and/or script out a very rough outline of the plot (like this / this / this style) so that i have something to come back to later. i have dozens of zero drafts just lying tf around. but otherwise, yeah, so many. one big idea i have is called heart on fire and it's based on fanart, but i haven't started it yet bc obvs i wanna get permission from the artist first but i've been holding off reaching out to them about it until i've knocked a few of my less intimidating longfics off my wip list bc heart on fire is gonna fucking hefty so i don't wanna give'r until i'm sure i can manage it.

🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

LMFAO

🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

i'm having a real bitch of a time with agatha's main scene in chapter two of without sun, i've been fighting with it on and off for months, but i can't get it to do what i want it to do.

❤️ Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

cheers!

sorry for any doubles but, tagging: @drowninginships @cosmicalart @that-disabled-princess @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @artsyunderstudy @thewholelemon @roomwithanopenfire @hushed-chorus @blackberrysummerblog @imagineacoolusername @nightimedreamersworld @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @mooncello and an open tag for anybody else who wants to procrastinate their wips!

[seriousbrat]

I do appreciate how Liam Gallagher is extremely thick yet incredibly sincere in interviews. My favourite is the one where he finishes an incomprehensible ramble with “now can we all take loads of class A drugs” as it cuts back to the newscast smiling awkwardly.

My own band formation opinion might be unusual but I also like the idea of them being an unusual band! The Beatles had a bass player as one of the frontmen.

I like to think of James as a drummer, because he likes to be LOUD, and he gets to decide how fast or slow the rest of the band will play, which suits him. I like to think that he’d be funky and boisterous.

Sirius is frontman material, so he can be the lead singer. I think he can also subvert the quiet bass player myth and follow James’s lead with some funky plucky bass. A bit like Flea.

Remus, although I must say the sad guitar man thing is very American, I kinda like to do a parallel with George Harrison. He was a very talented lead guitarist, but always outshined by John and Paul, and had most of his ideas rejected. But fun fact: he was the best selling Beatle as a solo artist.

Peter can do rhythm guitar! Every day James and Sirius will ask themselves if they really need him, and Remus will insist that yes, they do, he can’t do it alone. He’d also probably be in charge of making merch, the fanboy that he is.

This would be a band with lots of drum solos. I haven’t thought as far as what they would sound like.

I thought your Snape and Lily band was spot on, no notes.

LMAo im gonna be real I mostly posted that interview because I think it's extremely hilarious and I rewatch it all the time. I don't think Sirius would be as idiotic as Liam is there obviously, it's just a certain arrogant nonchalance that he has that I think is Sirius-like.

James as drummer does make sense! I think the only thing for me is that James would want to be front and centre in a flashy way, and inevitably the drummer is kind of hidden by their own instrument in the back. Although, as you say, it could be a non-conventional band. In my "Marauders as a 90s britpop group" dreams though, James would be lead singer. He's just got that Damon Albarn/Jarvis Cocker vibe to him. In a more traditional rock or punk band, though, especially if it was before the britpop era, it would probably be Sirius.

You're right that "sad man with guitar" is kind of an American staple, though let us not forget that David Bowie started out as a sad man with guitar, and there have been others in the British canon! But also controversially I think that Remus would, out of all of them, be the most into American music and be a little bit superior about it. Like I think he'd really enjoy things like Leonard Cohen and Tim Buckley lol. Though I could also see him (sadly) playing keyboard/piano, kind of more of an Eno or a Peter Gabriel.

As for Peter yes lol, he's definitely giving expendable. I also think he'd be the most likely to milk celebrity status for all it's worth, even after the band has broken up. He'd be doing the Liam Payne thing of "releasing a crap song then appearing on random podcasts to talk shit."

[faejilly]

jilly's week in review?

I guess or something. Idek y'all, I was gonna try and do reviews but then I just rambled about what I did instead, so this is clearly gonna need a format revamp next week

anyway

READING

Finished Daughter of Witches

and also St. Peter's Fair, which I had started AGES ago and sort of lost track of, but I'm doing the January Challenge on TheStoryGraph and couldn't decide what to read next but needed to get my pages in, so I went digging for random shit and I have read it before and watched all the Cadfael mysteries so it's not like it was hard to get into to finish it so I could save my streak.😅

Read A House with Good Bones (on purpose from start to finish in one day!) because T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon is absofuckinglutely one of my favorites. (There's a thought here about my occasional forays into the horror genre, and how some horror is almost kind of cozy because it's about protecting what we love from what we fear, and that is very much a Kingfisher kind of thing, but that might need a new post and a more functional brain to figure out where I'm going with that.)

Listened to a little bit more of IT while doing housework; I'm not great at audio books except when I'm driving, but sometimes I can manage a little (and I didn't want to distract myself from dishes by picking up a new book instead). Stephen Weber is an excellent narrator btw, for anyone who's curious.

WATCHING

The husband was sick last week, and I was only sort of doing shit either, so he kind of just put the TV on and let it go and I definitely will not manage a nice list with links like I did with books. There was some M*A*S*H, (oh, I did finally watch the special that recently came out on Hulu), and RoboCop (largely because Thing 1 gave the husband the new game for Christmas) and several different Predator movies of various quality, and a bunch of other stuff I am not thinking of at the moment. I know I picked a couple and watched them myself but with everything else I can't remember what?

Also some Mythbusters when Thing 2 picked something to watch for awhile, which is pretty much always entertaining even when we're like: your sample size is nonexistent and just because you can't do it doesn't mean someone who knows what they're doing couldn't have done it so are you SURE you should have busted that? 😅

PLAYING

I got Garden Story for Christmas and got through the quest-lines and realized I was quite far away from all the upgrades, so I've been periodically poking at it and trying to get my villages/tools better before trying the Final Boss. I have had a good time with Concord though, it's fun, I'm just not sure the leveling functions, such as they are, are paced/balanced quite right? 😅 (Or perhaps I'm just Bad At Fighting In Cozy Games? This does seem to be a bit of a trend tbqh, probably why I liked Wylde Flowers' lack of combat so much.) I also have found VERY FEW of the memories/weird achievements so that's a thing I'm probably going to have to look up hints for soon-ish...

(I did finish Potion Permit last year, which is great, I recommend it whole-heartedly: the potion building mechanic is usually pretty solid, it has good characters, a nice aesthetic, I did actually mostly have fun rolling around and fighting things/gathering stuff, but I did reach the end of the main quest and then go... huh, is that it? just because it, yk, kept going after the finale but there didn't seem to be anything there beyond like, a couple personal quests that needed materials I couldn't unlock until the end.)

MORE ENTERTAININGLY I THINK, we did also play some board games

Paint The Roses is QUITE HARD with only two people even if you stick to the medium level whims; or maybe I'm just not that smart?!? We did in fact survive without getting our heads' chopped off by the Queen of Hearts, but we legit guessed the last two puzzles so. Dumb Luck™️ is not nearly as reliable as actually figuring out how to plot your plants better.

We did Escape the Dark Sector (with more people this time, tbf) on our first try though! That was pretty delightful. It is atmospheric and potentially almost deadly without feeling too awful at any point! Also I got to punch a tentacle monster!

Mice & Mystics can go dramatically bad if your dice aren't on your side and you do like, one stupid thing to compound that, and then if you're invested enough to start over you can suddenly realize you've been moving tiny plastic mice and bugs around the table for like four hours and still only got through the first chapter... but not regret it at all because you like your mice and are very proud of them for finally making it!

Can you tell we like co-op games? 🤣🤣🤣

(I did also do some rearranging so the game room was comfier, so like, win/win I adulted and played!)

THERE WAS NO WRITING OR CROSS-STITCHING OR PAINTING OR ANYTHING ELSE THIS WEEK, so uh. Clearly my balance of activities is bonkers and I should maybe get off the couch/game chair(s) a bit more often.

[broken-clover]

ooooh you've awakened my Steven Moffat DW pet peeve. usually he's fine but my major annoyance with his episodes, and MUCH WORSE in Sherlock where he had more creative control, is his obsession with having EVERYTHING fit into the overarching plot. Everything. Nothing is random nothing is natural its all part of the Big Plan That Will Surely Pay Off Amazingly. it's just so exhausting and takes the kick out of individual episodes because you can't focus on the actual stories there because Stevey is too busy drawing your attention to his ever growing cork board of a plot. like, jesus man WHY would Moriarty give half a wet shit about some random murdering taxi cab driver. Where does that fit in Steve. Bad Wolf worked ONCE Steve. Once.

Hoo boy. The short-form format of that post didn't let me go into detail but coming back to this series a lot of his episodes are so much worse than I remember them being.

And I'm glad you said that! Because it fits into another issue I didn't even bring up. Why is there such a weird fixation on who exactly is 'most important' to the doctor? Because it feels like that comes up so much in the Moffat era. The Ponds are important by being in-laws. River is important because of the weird timeline fuckery and them getting married once. Later Clara is treated as the most important person in his life because of more timeline fuckery. There's a point where it gets dull going 'but then *this* bond with *this* woman was even more deep and complex and unshakable than the last one, really!' multiple times. Characters can't just 'be,' they have to connect to him on a deeper level somehow. It's never just happening to bump into someone, there's always some time and space fate bullshit that pops up.

(And see, while 'The Doctor's Wife' was absolutely full of that as well, that's the one example where it *does* work, because it centers around the one character that's literally been at his side for the entire goddamn series)

One of the things that was fun about the RTD seasons, especially about the companions and recurring characters, was that there was nothing fundamentally special about most of them. Any specialness came from traveling and growing as as person and then doing something courageous based on that growth. Characters came and went and it was sad, but the doctor was a temporary part of their life in the same way that he was to theirs, not the main focal fixture of their existence that made it meaningful. The act of interacting with others added to the richness and sense of understand in one's own life. It feels weird to say in such silly phrasing but it felt like a lot of the first four seasons were simply about the power of friendship on a massive, cosmic scale

Yeesh and yep that's not even getting into the man's complexity addiction. Having an overarching narrative isn't inherently bad but I felt like hopping from season 4 to season 5 was like going from a show where most of the episodes could be watched as desired with a bit of seasonwide narrative to literally having to watch every episode in the designated order without fail unless you wanted to be completely lost. The plot-heavy episodes can be fun but when that's most of the season it becomes a bit harder to digest. It just feels a bit like it's taking itself too seriously

Also. Did I mention the horny? Can't remember if I mentioned the horny.

[dogwittaablog]

i think she probably had met him once cause supposedly her dad is an OHL coach, but she’s defiantly boosting it for clout. like i’ve met a ton of hockey players and they’re normal guys but would never describe them as “nice and respectful” as many times as she does

*IM GOING TO BE STANDING ON BUSINESS WITH THIS POST*

So I never even knew she existed till that submission I got, and weirdly all of a sudden I kept getting a bunch of messages all at the same time in this same text/grammar/punctuation format LMAO… which concludes to me she defs sent them in.

I tragically did a deep dive into her blog before I formed opinions and speculations, just to see if anything wasn’t actually bs. Though the more I read the more sus I got about a bunch of stuff.

She allegedly claims she’s known or was around Nolan and her family when she was young, because their dads golfed together (I literally do not think his dads much of a golfer either lmaooo) + her dad and his uncle were coaches together… Anytime a question is brought up about Nolan she constantly brushes it off cause she wants to respect his privacy… listen if I genuinely know people personally or have the respect for them as she claims, I wouldn’t even be entertaining one word let alone let it be known that I even know them… on a blog… 😭💀

Bro I fr don’t even want to get into the her having two kids and her having a child allegedly at 16, not that it’s even a issue, cause not my problem, but their is something sus about that whole ass thing too. She also seems to constantly wanting to lie or hide about her age, or not disclose it… which I find weird, cause if you do the math even by her kids alleged ages you’d know she’s at least early 20’s but claim she’s in her mid 20’s, idek. It’s probably some literal teen running it. Respectfully if I had 2 kids I wouldn’t be up on some Tumblr blog posting what she posts??? Something about the way she writes in terms of punctuation comes off juvenile. Nothing radiates baby mama of 2… oops. Also the sus life story idek man.

(One of her post regarding nolpats)

So as I said she’s someone who claims to know nolan on a not super close but a still personal level lol. Yet says he doesn’t have any reputation… be for real with me 💀💀💀 “cause no one is really that aware of him”. You could pay me with a cheese burger to personally fly out to Winnipeg to ask people around and I bet you they’d know who the kid is also Winnipeg isnt huge and the communities are small, everyone mutually knows each other especially when you’re born and raised there. Nothing adds up to her even knowing him.

Also claiming she’s on his private account, I’m sure babe… that account is strictly for family and friends he’s known closely for years. Not some random that allegedly got pregnant at 16 and then left Winnipeg for 4+ years (as she’s said) and never was in contact with him for years LMAOOOO. Also to publicly claim you’re on it too, interesting.

Long story short I’m sorry home girl @ urhockeymilf you defs are making up half to all of or pre much everything you’ve claimed… I know you send yourself submissions too on your own blog… so I cannot wait for your submissions in my inbox after you potentially see this.

I’ll also add I do run this blog myself but I won’t be stupid enough to start claiming I PERSONALLY know anyone. I share info I gather from others, and express they’re just rumours and speculations, and when making points on why I think something seems true I’ll always try to provide proof and a logical answer to why, rather then just talking out my ass or making shit up lmao.

[thegreatjoshb]

Llama Trauma

I haven't *written* a post in a long time. It feels like not since probably undergrad. But I have recently come to realize that my childhood was exquisitely traumatic, and it has left me a shell of a man who does not know how to navigate the world in an emotionally appropriate way.

My mother is the main reason for my trauma, repeatedly choosing another man over me and my siblings, never having a real conversation about our feelings (because she was likely traumatized herself and just... couldn't), and then topping it off by dying on my little brother's birthday. At like 11 pm. She couldn't even wait 1 hour to die, so add that to the list.

Anyway, my little brother and older sister were having a conversation the day before mother's day, and my sister was finally told about *some* of the horrible events that we went through in middle school and high school. My sister is 9 years older than me, and she moved out when she was 18 years old. She probably got the best parts of our mother for the longest time, but our mom fucked my sister up with her own special trauma.

My sister just apologized to me profusely for not being there, for not even knowing what happened to us. She wished she could have saved me and my brothers, but she couldn't have been there because she was going through her own life shit at the same time, and quite frankly, I was too embarrassed to tell anybody about what was actually happening in my life. I really didn't want ANYBODY to know - not my friends at school, not my sister, not my father, not even a random stranger [I didn't want the pity] - so I mostly kept it to myself. I repressed my emotional needs and became so self-sufficient because nobody else was meeting my needs, and it got to the point where even now, as a 32 year old man, the thought of asking anybody for help doesn't even cross my mind because I always feel like I am alone and there is nobody to help me.

My district manager at work has told me so many times to call him and let him know what I need help with and to contact him if I ever feel stressed. To this day, I have had a great working relationship with him, and the ONLY time I have ever called him was when my mother died. So long story short, I always feel like my childhood self who was left alone to fight and solve all his battles. Battles I never could have won, so instead of fighting, I learned to retreat.

I learned to retreat deep into my head. There is a special place where I go to not feel, and I go so far back. My eyes feel like they look at nothing. I have perfect vision, but I don't see anything. I literally cannot tell you how I am feeling in any given moment. Right now, I feel nothing. I am so disconnected with my emotions that I don't realize how much things affect me until well after the fact. My emotions are latent and powerful, but completely unknown to me.

So, now that we have gotten the background out of the way, here is a story - one of many - I told my sister that night. She laughed so hard when I told her this story, which is honestly the most common response to what I am about to type. She told her husband, who said I should sell the story to a comedian (despite the lack of any actual humor in the story). I have never formally written out this story as far as I can remember, but every time I verbalize it to someone, they literally crack up. It is a truly tragic story, but I also believe that it is so shocking to some people that they don't know how to respond. If anybody reads this entire post, please let me know how it comes across in typed format. Here goes nothing.

BUCKALICIOUS: LORD OF THE LAND

At the end of my 8th grade year, my family was evicted from the 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house we were renting. There were 6 people living in the house - 7 if you included my mother, but I don't because she spent most of her time with her boyfriend. Let's call him George.

Of those 7, my mother and I ended up living at George's double wide mobile home on his 2.5 acres of land. It was honestly not to shabby, and one of the teeny tiny parts of living there was being able to be around so many animals.

You see, George had enough land to home some unconventional animals. He had 2 dogs - Saige - a great dane, who became my dog, my soul, and my entire reason to exist. Stone - a doofy by lovable bull mastiff. Cheech and Chong - two goats that lived on a part of the land that was sectioned off by a fence. And last but not least, Buckalicous: lord of the Land (AKA Buck).

Now Buck was a black llama with an incredible underbite that was a "breeder" llama at Busch Gardens. At 10 or 11 years old, he was no longer useful for breeding, but it is not like he was dead yet. Llamas have like a 15 year life span. George knew the guy at Busch Gardens and convinced him to sell Buck to him for $100, saying he had land for the llama to roam on and a barn to house him if the weather was bad (all true).

So Buck came home with George.

Now I remember meeting Buck in December, just a few months before I was forced to move in with George due to the eviction. I met Buck because my mother came home one day with a black eye. She had to explain that, no, it wasn't the new guy she was dating [He would beat her up later, he just didn't hit her in *this* instance]. It just so happened she got hit in the face because she got too close to a LLAMA! WHAT??! Why the fuck was my mom anywhere near a llama? How can I meet this llama that hurt my mom so?

Well, she took me to George's place that winter and introduced me to the llama. His name was Buckalicious: Lord of the Land. Buck for short. He was on the opposite side of a fence, and we had to approach slowly because he was a little skittish. My mother showed me where the Sweetfeed was. She scooped some out using an old Folger's container, and she let Buck approach to eat the food. That llama LOVED his sweet feed. She handed me the container, and I let the llama eat. It was honestly magical. Buck's underbite made him look less intelligent than he was, but he was honestly such a great animal.

Fast forward to the summer, where I am now living with my mother and George on his 2.5 acres of land in his double wide mobile home. My brother was not living with us because he got in trouble in school and had to live with my father in the neighboring city to go to a special correctional school. So it was just me, my mom, George, and the animals (Saige, Stone, Cheech, Chong, and Buck).

Now in the Florida summer's, you can imagine it to be excruciatingly hot, especially to a large llama (probably 350 lbs +) covered in BLACK fur. And it WAS HOT! It was a horribly hot summer. I remember because my mother didn't have a job, and we couldn't afford cable that summer, and George was working odd jobs. I spent a lot of time outside. That is when I became so close to the animals, particularly Saige, because I literally had nothing better to do than to go outside and run around the land by myself. We were in the middle of nowhere a mile down a dirt road. There weren't any children my age to hang out with, I had no television or video games, and my brother no longer lived with me. I was trying to make the best out of a rough situation.

The one and only nice thing I will ever say about George is that one time, and one time only in my opinion, he came up with a good idea and made it work. The land was divided pretty equally, animals and barn on one half, the people and the double wide mobile with a nearby, discounted and disgusting koi pond on the other. And instead of walking out to the llama and goats and bringing them clean water every day, George rigged up a bathtub to always have clean water fill to a certain height, thus allowing the animals to always have something to drink. You know how a toilet tank fills up to a certain level without overflowing? Same concept. Except outside and in a bathtub instead of a toilet.

In the cooler months, it was awesome because nobody had to worry or stress about watering the llama. It was just always taken care of. But when the temperature started to rise, we noticed Buck doing something strange. Buck was STANDING shin-deep inside the bathtub! Not drinking, just standing. We believe it was to help him cool down during the hot summer months. And it was just something that Buck now did regularly.

So in this particular summer, I would mow that lawn weekly. It was a lot of land, but George had a riding mower, and it gave this 14 year old something to do for a bit. But then the lawnmower broke, and we couldn't afford to fix it. And the grass grew. and grew. And it wasn't great.

Eventually, George had the bright idea to open the fence and let the goats out onto the people side. Maybe they would eat the grass? It was worth a shot? IDK. Maybe not after all.

Now the fence was open there was no land separation. The animal side was the people side and the people side was the animal side. By this point in my relationship with Buck, I had spent a lot of time feeding him sweet feed from the coffee container. It was a daily ritual for us. And Buck warmed up to me slowly. He would, as long as the fence was still between us, eat the sweet feed out of my palm. I was terrified at first trying this because I knew he had the potential to freak out and give me a black eye like he did my mother, or possibly worse. But he never did.

When George opened the fence in the hopes that the goats and llama would eat the too-tall grass, it changed the relationship dynamic. Now during the day, I would get as close to the llama as I could without him freaking out. The goats never scared me because they were always chill, and I could grab them by their horns and control them if I needed to. I could not get too close to Buck, though, because Buck just wouldn't let me. It got to the point where I would grab a handful of sweet feed to lure Buck my way, and eventually, he would walk right up to me and eat the food directly out of my hand! How freaking exciting. He used his powerful underbite as a shovel to scoop the food from my hand into his mouth. It was cute.

But it wouldn't last long. I was able to get close to Buck only a few times. He wouldn't always be calm and cool, and sometimes he would sprint away. When he started running, Saige, the great dane, sprung into action and chased after the llama. She did not do so because she wanted to chase the llama, but Saige saw the llama's erratic movements as a danger to me. Saige loved me so much that she would chase a llama that was 3 times her size to protect *ME*. I fucking loved Saige.

One day, George found an odd job to do and left to go do it. My mother and I were hungry in the afternoon, but we didn't have anything in the house to eat. So we left the house and bought like $3 worth of Totinos pizza at the nearby Walmart. We came home, heated the pizzas in the oven, and then we just enjoyed the pizzas. The last time I will ever "enjoy" a totinos pizza.

As we are eating, George bursts into the house screaming:

DID ANYONE NOTICE THE DEAD FUCKING LLAMA OUTSIDE???!!!

huh? wut?

Dead? Llama? What is he talking about? We were literally just outside not 15 minutes before bringing in our pizza haul. And no. Both my mother and I, in fact, did not notice the dead fucking llama outside.

Well, because we opened up the fence and let the goats and llama onto our side, they were farther away from their tub-water than they normally were. But Buck noticed nasty, koi-less koi pond in front of the house. And to an animal that is used to standing shin high in a tub of water to keep cool, this looked like a fun little option.

However, it was not fun. Buck slipped on the algae that lined the koi-pond and hit his head. Buck was just trying to keep cool, and he ended up drowning in the koi pond.

FUCK!

He was dead, and there was nothing we could do to bring him back. But we also could not just leave him there in the koi pond! Something had to be done, and the dogs ensured that it must be done immediately. Before we could even compose ourselves to come up with an action plan to deal with the llama carcas, Stone, our doofy bull mastiff has already started eating the llama's face.

We had to pull Stone away from the llama, and tie him and Saige up to a tree to prevent them from gormandizing on this llama feast. If it wasn't already a heartbreaking situation, seeing those dogs tied up and trying to get to the llama made it worse.

There was no plan. There was only chaos. We had to do something, and we had to do it RIGHT NOW. George grabbed some rope and tied it around Buck's body, then he tied the rope to the back of his truck. George turned on the truck and tried dragging Buck's body out of the foul water. It was not a smooth or easy process. The only thing I can think of that is heavier than a llama... is a soaking wet, dead llama.

Eventually, George was able to drag Buck's body out of the koi pond, and he drove the truck across his land. He drove it deep into the 2.5 acres he owned, and he dragged the body to a nice woody spot.

Now we both have to start digging the llama grave. That was the day I learned how hard it is to dig a grave. Not emotionally, though that did take its toll, but just how physically hard it was to shovel the dirt out, even with two able bodied men splitting the work. The sun was setting, and light was fading fast. So we had to be quick.

George was finally satisfied with the size of the grave, and we had to shove the llama into the hole. One, Two, PUSH! One, Two, PUSH. The llama fell into the grave, and we covered it back up with dirt.

I grabbed two sticks and used some of the rope that we dragged the llama body with to make a Cross, and I used that cross as the marker for Buck's grave.

It has been almost 18 years since we lost Buck to this tragedy. George eventually lost his land due to not paying for it, so I currently don't know who lives there. Or if they will ever find Buck's grave.

It was one of those things you just cannot be prepared for. In hindsight, there are so many things that I would have done differently. Clean out the koi-pond. Mow the law by hand. Or just not let the animals on the other side of the fence.

Buck was an awesome animal who deserved better, and I will never again look at a Totino's pizza without thinking of a dead llama.

[peterpickedpaker]

God I Love Spider-Man

TASM! Peter Parker pt 2

 previous current next

Summary for part 2: after hearing a knock on your window, you’re a little too quick to open it . Do you realize who this mysterious man in red and blue is ? Or does Peter get you in a way he would never expect ?

A/N : ummm hello ?? Y’all are such lovely people thank you for reading, commenting, and liking !! I honestly did not plan to do too much with this but y’all for sure gave me the motivation :) updates hopefully once a week or maybe more . Also I’ve never like used Tumblr to post anything so if my format or anything of the such seems weird I apologize ! Thanks again for reading . Hope you all enjoy :))) alsooooo I’m going to do my best to always include a song . Just for like fun or whatever .

Warning: MDI please ! Cursing, teasing, sexual tension, f!nger!ng, lil degr@ding , praise baby. Let me know if I missed something !

——————————————————————————

You slowly stand to your feet, walking to the window . Your finger tips graze your curtains gently, only slightly moving them . You just had to be sure of what you had just seen .

Once you were at least 88% positive he was real, he knocks again . Making you 100% sure .

Spider-Man was on your fucking fire escape .

“Uh little help ?” The masked man asks, his voice muffled through the window . “Oh shit, yeah yeah . My bad .” You fumble with the locks, quickly opening the window allowing him to enter .

“Sorry for the intrusion love, but I have seem to be injured and need some help .” He state’s motioning to the blood stains on his chest . He remains sat on your window sill . You stand about three feet away from him . Eyes wide as if you’ve seen a ghost .

“Happen to have a first aid kit ?” He looks up at you . You still don’t respond nor move . “Hello ? Anyone in there ?” He asks now standing and walking towards you .

“Oh my god, um yeah, sorry, I just, I-“ you stop yourself once you realize how close he is to you now .

“Nervous ?” He says towering over you . “No no, it’s just, yah know, I don’t, you see, it’s actually-“ you stop and take a breath . “I’m gonna go get my first aid kit .” Your tone low .

You practically sprint to your bathroom . Dropping to your knees to open the cabinet under the sink . You rummage through all the random things talking to yourself . “What the actual fuck, holy shit, there’s literally no way . There is no fucking WAY I am awake right now . I definitely fell asleep on the couch . Spider-Man is not, for sure NOT, in my living room, needing my first aid kit .”

“Oh but I am, and sweetheart, you’re not dreaming .” You snap your head to the left immediately meeting his crotch . Very quickly averting your eyes, and meeting his masked ones instead .

“I think I like you in this position .” He coos taking his gloved hand and placing it under your chin, forcing you to look up more . “I- I found the first aid kit .” You say lightly shaking it in your hand, doing your best to ignore the heat between your legs .

“Ah, perfect . I’ll be on the couch . Feel free to come join me .” And just like that, he drops your face and walks out .

“What.the.fuck.”

Once you finally got the courage, you leave the bathroom . Rounding the corner you see Spider-Man  patiently sat on your couch .

“So uh, Spider-Man,” you clear your throat, “how’d you, you know ?” You ask awkwardly as you sit next to the mysterious man . “Oh the usual, saving lives .” He states in a cocky tone, leaning back and placing his arms on the back of the couch . His finger tips lightly brush your shoulder .

“I like your outfit .” He says as you sit cris cross opening the first aid kit . You cock your head in confusion at him before looking down and quickly realizing what you were in . “Oh Jesus . I’m sorry, I obviously was not expecting a guest . Let alone that guest being Spider-Man .” You cover your face with your hands .

You feel a hand wrap about your wrists, “no needs to apologize or be embarrassed . I’m liking what I see .” Again, that stupid feeling between your legs .

“Um, let’s see what I can do for you . I have the most basic and bland shit in here .” You end up pulling out alcohol wipes and bandaids .

“How’s this ?” You ask with a warm smile . He chuckles, “I don’t really need the bandaids but the alcohol wipes will do the trick .” You nod in response . “So uh, how do you want me to, you know, like did you want to …” you trail off awkwardly . “Trying to get me naked already ?”

You practically choke, “oh god no ! I mean, no, not like that . I mean fuck, I’m not saying I wouldn’t want you like that . Fuck, no, I just mean-“

You’re cut off by him standing, “what’s your name ?” He asks watching you avoid his gaze, moving the first aid kit from your lap . You place your feet onto the ground . Next thing you know, a hand, not a gloved hand, a bare hand, is placed under your chin .

“Pretty girl, I asked you a question .” He now stands in front of you, suit pulled down around his waist . All you could think about is how perfect his body was .

Even with all the scrapes, scars, and bruises .

“I-“ before you could struggle to speak he bends down, leveling his masked covered face to yours . “Distracted ?” You could almost hear his smirk .

“Y/N .” You finally respond .

“Such a beautiful name . I have just one more question for you before we play nurse .”

You could only nod .

He stands once again, his hand never leaving it’s place . You feel the pressure of his index finger on your neck, “why is your heart pounding so hard Y/N ?”

You don’t answer . Frankly, you didn’t know how . What could you even say ? ‘Yeah I’ve had sex dreams just like this before.’ No, you’d sound insane .

“Thought about this before ?” Your taken back, “I- I’m sorry what did you say ?” You ask rather timidly . “Tell me Y/N,” he starts, beginning to lean over you . He places his hands on the back the couch, forcing you to lean back under him .

“How many times have you thought about it ?” His face only inches from yours, “though about what ?” You try to play dumb . It’s not like he could know . Right ? Right !?

He leans in further, your bodies almost touching . “How many times have you thought about me fucking you ? And please don’t spare any details .” He growls pushing your legs apart with his knee .

You bite your lower lip doing your best to hold back the whimper stuck in the throat .

He takes one hand off from behind you, moving it down your neck, to your shoulder, down your arm, and ending with him tracing small circles on your bare thigh .

You close your eyes doing your best to control your breathing . “If I were to touch you right now, would you already be wet ?” The tone of his voice sends a vibration through you .

“Please .” You say in the most pathetically needy voice .

“Such a needy little slut . Begging for a man you don’t know to touch you . Is that what you want princess ?” He asks moving closer to your core . “Do you want my fingers ?”

You couldn’t help but moan in response .

“Say it .” He bluntly states . “Tell me what you want .” His hand now cupping the part that ached for him .

You open your eyes looking directly into his sliver lenses . “Please-“ he pushes down onto your center causing you arch you back .

“Come on pretty girl . Show me how submissive you’re willing to be for me .” He adds more pressure .

“Ah please, please . I-I want your fingers .” You manage to spit out .

“Such a good girl .” He says pushing your panties to the side . “Just what I thought . Soaking wet for me .” You arch your back, letting out a gasp the second his fingers make contact to your throbbing core .

He begins rubbing circles on your cl!t . Gasps and moans rip through your throat . “Oh fuck .” You say throwing your head back on your couch .

With no warning you feel him push a finger inside . “Is this okay ?” His quick to ask, “yes, god yes .”

He chuckles at your desperateness, adding another finger . You move your hand from gripping the couch to his shoulder . Your nails dig in as he pumps in and out of you at a fast pace .

“Jesus Christ .” You breathe out . “Nope, just Spider-Man .” You’d laugh if you weren’t in such a vulnerable state . “How does it feel huh ? Just like you pictured ?” He asks keep his pace but curling at the end, hit your g shot each time .

You couldn’t answer . Only desperate whimpers . You start to feel the build in your stomach . “I recommend you answer that question, pretty .” You whine pushing yourself closer to him . But he stops .

You sit up looking at him, fingers still inside . Realizing why he stopped you start, “it’s amazing, please, it’s even better than what I imagined . Pleas-“ before you could even finish your pleading he starts up again . This time his thumb rubbing your throbbing cl!t as he fucks you with his fingers .

“Fuck !” You shout gripping his bicep, feeling his muscles flex only added to the pleasure . “You gonna cum for me doll face ?” You only nod as your screw your eyes shut .

“Nuh uh . You have to look at me when you cum . I want you to see the face that made you finish .” You whine but listen . Opening your eyes and seeing your reflection in his .

“Just like that, good fucking girl .” His voice low, and airy . “I’m gonna-“ you start, “go ahead princess, cum on my fingers .” And almost instantly, you do . You feel yourself clinch around him as he fucks your through your high . “Fuck !” You moan, feeling your nails dig deeper into him .

You lay back, closing your eyes to catch your breath . Once you’ve come down, you open your eyes again sitting up to look at him .

When he pulls out of you he brings his fingers to your lips . “Mind cleaning these off for me ? You made quite the mess .” You blush opening your mouth for him . He slides his fingers across your tongue, tasting yourself on him, you let out a low moan .

“Suck .” You do as your told . He removes his fingers with a pop . “All clean .” He says standing and beginning to put his suit back on . “Wait didn’t you need me to clean you up ? Like your injuries ?” You ask looking at him doe eyed .

He motions to his torso, you see the cuts are practically gone . “Quick self healing is kind of the best .” He gloats finishing pulling up his suit .

“This on the other hand, will definitely still be there tomorrow .” He laughs as he points the the shoulder you had used to brace yourself . “Oh my god, I’m sorry . Is there anything I can do ?” You stand trying to observe the damage .

He chuckles, “don’t worry about it love . Been through much worse .” He turns to face you, “Plus, your face when you came on my fingers, was absolutely worth it .” He whispers the last part .

You feel heat rise in your cheeks again . “I’ll be seeing you very soon Y/N .” His glove hand placed on your cheek, “very soon .”

The second he drops your face, he crawls out onto your fire escape and leaps off . You run to the window to see him swinging off into the night .

=====================================

Peter had never in his life been as confident as he was last night . Something about the mask made all his anxiety just disappear . He had always been attracted to you .

Not completely sure how that ended up with a mutual dislike between the two of you . But maybe it was the burning sexual tension that neither one of you was willing to relieve or admit .

He didn’t know for sure, but something he did know was that he knew exactly how to shut you up .

The trio was sat in their English class .

When Peter came in, he sat next to you instead of his usual seat by Gwen . You gave him side eye as soon as he sat down . You couldn’t help but notice the way he smelled .

You turn your head towards him and inhale softly . “Are you wearing a new Cologne ?” You whisper . “Uh no, I just don’t think we’ve ever been in this close of a  proximity to one another .” He states not even looking at you .

You nod turning your face back to the teacher .

You had only asked cause something about it rang familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it .

“How was you night ?” He asks kind of catching you off guard . His tone almost mocking . Your mind immediately flashes back to Spider-Man being knuckles deep inside you .

“Uh nothing to exciting .” You answer but quickly realize that is not normally how’d you respond to Peter . “Why do you care anyway ?” Better, you think to yourself .

“Oh I don’t . Just thought maybe I’d try being nice .” He takes note of the red creeping up your cheeks . “What’s with the blushing ?” You widen your eyes, “god Peter none of your business .”

Once class ended you all agreed to meet at Gwen’s favorite restaurant . “I have to run home first . So I’ll meet you guys there ?” She asks .

“You really trust us, alone, in a car ? Do you want to only have one best friend left ?” You ask almost in a scuff . Peter chuckles in response . Gwen stops by her car with a pondering face . “Peter, can you behave long enough so Y/N doesn’t try to run you both off the road ?” She asks .

“Uh yeah, I think I can manage . But can Y/N go 10 minutes without being completely annoyed by the presence ?”

“I’ll do my best . Can’t make any promises .” You smirk towards Gwen as you hop in the passenger seat of Peters car . “Please make it there in one piece .” She pleads before getting into her own car .

Before you had even started driving Peter had started playing music .

He pulls out of his parking spot placing a hand on the back of your head rest as he checks his surroundings . Once you get on to the road, you can’t help but look at him .

“See something you like ?” He teases . You roll your eyes . “Nope, just want to be sure your not going to kill me .” He shakes his head . “You can’t ever say one nice thing to me can you ?” He asks raising a brow as if he’s testing you .

“I could if you did things worth saying nice things about .” You smirk feeling like you won something .

“Try it .” You look at him confused . “Try ?” You question . “Try to say one nice thing to me .” His tongue wetting his bottom lip .

“Okay this is going to be the one and only complement you ever get from me . So take it in Parker .” He looks over at you, one hand on the steering wheel, the other propped up on the center consul .

He runs his fingers across his chin . Keeping his head facing forward but keeps glancing at you through the corner of his eye .

He smirks as if he’s enjoying your sudden loss of words . You feel your heart beat pick up a bit . Causing you to feel confused . What the hell was going on, you thought to yourself .

You almost forget your speaking as you observe him . The song not helping the tension you’ve felt since he sat next to you . “And that would be ..” he interrupts your thought process .

“Oh yeah, uh, you’ve got great taste in music .” You finally move your gaze from him realizing you’d be staring for a bit too long .

“Like the song choice ?” His smirk never leaving his face . “Picked it myself .”

And like almost on command the song sings

‘I just want to taste your chapstick’

He says running his fingers through his hair . You push your thighs together . What the hell was going on with you .

“Uh so you know how you and Gwen were talking about how Spider-Man sometimes just falls out of the sky ?” He shifts in his seat .

What you didn’t know, was Peter couldn’t stop thinking about last night as well . His brain running wild of what he might do next . He couldn’t believe you were about to tell him about last night . Or so he thought .

“Yeah ?” He now turns his head looking over at you as you sit at a red light . “Would you think I’m totally and absolutely insane if I told you that actually happened ?”

“I would not think that . Simply cause I know it’s actually possible . Did it happen ?” He plays dumb and curious .

You take a deep breath preparing yourself before continuing . “Okay well yes . It’s actually did happen . And out of all people, me ! You can’t tell me that’s not crazy ? Like you and Gwen had literally just talked about it . Than it happens ?? I even woke up this morning having to determine if it was real or not . Before I fell asleep I was legit pacing around my apartment like a psychopath . My down stairs neighbor probably wanted to murder me .” You ramble as the car starts again .

“What happened ?” He asks in a flat tone . You clear your throat . “Oh nothing crazy, he just needed some bandaids .” Your eyes looking straight ahead hoping you’d be arriving soon to avoid anymore questions .

“So you finally got to use your first aid kit ? Did you let him use you like you said you would ?” His voice now low, and husky .

You bite your lip not sure how to respond . “No, of course not . I talk a lot of shit . But even if I had why do you think I’d tell you ?”

Thankfully you arrived and he pulls into a spot, he however doesn’t get out . Instead he turns towards you narrowing his eyes .

“I just thought you’d want to brag about it . Saying how highly you see him .” He leans closer to you .

“I- I just, it doesn’t matter cause nothing happened .” You say now facing him and seeing how close he was to you . “Gotta be honest here, I don’t believe you . Seeing as you are a flustered mess .” There goes your heart again .

You normally we’re pretty good at lying to Peter . He would usually just take you at your word . You were rather confused as to why this was the one time he didn’t believe a single thing you said .

“Did you let him have his way with you ? Did you beg him to fuck you ?” Your eyes widen for the 100th time today . “Peter, Jesus no . I just helped clean up a few bumps and bruises . Than he left .” You push his shoulder causing him to wince .

“Oh shit Peter, I’m sorry are you okay ?” You look at him with concern .

“No Yeah, I’m all good . Just fell off my skateboard yesterday . Uh, on the way to meet you and Gwen actually .” He internally face palms knowing that was too much information .

“Shall we, uh go in ?” He stutters through his words .

“We shall .” And with that you both hop out of the car and head into the restaurant .

[yostresswritinggirl]

Albedo. I just rolled him and finished his quest.

I would love to talk about travelling with him, or at least being someone who brings in the ingredients for alchemy. Someone who goes out of their way for him and gets the best. Maybe the only gardener in Mondstadt to grow alchemical roots and grasses.

I'm happy for you, rolling the cute alchemy boyo ywy I only rolled in his banner to get Bennett in five rolls I'm sorry Albedo, my primogems are for Xiao and Hu Tao- *shot*

Back to business! I really, really like this cute idea awww thank you for distracting from the angst fics in my head haha (TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE IT PROPERLY AND SO THE POST IS HORRIBLY SHORT WAIT- FIXED IT WOOHOO)

Albedo's Personal Botanist

Background

Most ingredients in alchemy usually come from ores and liquid ingredients formed by chemistry methods. Stuff like Tuttia, Bismuth, all that shindigs-

So while plant life can be useful for alchemy, not everyone recognizes its utility straight away, and provide for the common plants for arrangements rather than scientific inventory

I can imagine that you'd be a normal gardener at first but very passionate of their properties.

Might be a Dendro vision wielder too, the Dendro archon loves those who wield the power of knowledge, more so when they use it on nature.

You carry with you a lil book about all the plants and shrubs that you've personally cared for, down to their finest detail and properties. But you're a gardener, not a master of Alchemy, so some parts of the notes you couldn't really figure out yourself.

The first time you met Albedo, he was around a year into staying in Mondstadt. He was forced to go out and take a breather because of his workaholic schedule, and instead of relaxing in a bath, he ended up drifting to the market area to get more ingredients local to Mond.

Unlike the other flower stalls, he was pulled into yours because of the wide variety of your wares. Roots, grasses, shoots, plants you couldn't just find outside of the walls.

You were tending to your mini greenhouse in the back and left your botania book on the shelf outside, and this LIL SHI- Albedo, having no proper training for social interactions, straight up just opened that shit and read it all.

"Oh, hello there, mister- HEY, THAT'S MY STUFF, WHAT THE HECK"

Flustered, confused and alarmed, Albedo tried his best to quickly reason with your garden-spade-wielding self. And with his pretty boy self, you managed to calm down and listen.

You may or may not had smacked him with a bouquet of horsetail for good measure.

"Such vast knowledge and detail orientation, why waste away your talents in selling productive fauna when you can wield them into something more?"

Master Phytologist of the Knights of Favonius acquired!

Working with Albedo!

Your greenhouse in the Knight of Favonius HQ is most definitely connected to Albedo's laboratory! And very spacious too.

More than one occasion, you've seen the Chief Alchemist casually sneaking around the area, plucking a Flaming Flower or scraping dandelion seeds from the pot while you were busy tending to other flowers on the other side of your area.

65% of the time you caught him red-handed and you will be met with the rare sight of a fumbling, queasy Albedo.

30% of the time you just find out something is missing after checking inventory for the day, usually ends up with you hunting and shouting for Albedo. Because the guy seem to have a sixth sense as to when you find out his thieving adventures.

5% of all of that, Kaeya would be the one stealing from your 'safer' floras to woo a random citizen in Mond. And as a master of botany, your precious babies are always in tip top shape. Top quality bouquets all day, all night.

Those moments are the ones Albedo hate more than getting smacked with your spade. Those are your flowers, and by association, his. Grown to their maximum potential by your calloused yet gentle hands FOR HIM-

Kaeya: *reaching out to pluck a perfectly healthy glaze lily*; Albedo: *his short ass of a shadow looming over him*

NOW IT IS HIM WHO WIELDS THE POWER OF THE GARDEN SPADE

The atmosphere of your work area is significantly different from his own messy laboratory. The glass walls and roof that lets in just the right amount of sunlight, with a perfect view of the scenic landscape of Mondstadt and beyond.

When Albedo reaches a wall on his research, he picks up his sketchbook and just- waltz in to your workshop through the door connecting your workspaces.

The fresh air, the soft kiss of the sun, your humming, it was all a symphony of heaven concocted just for him.

He’ll find himself sketching your babies, dozen or more times you are included.

Your notebook’s illustrations are mostly courtesy of him, and he greatly basks in your pure admiration of his drawing.

To help him focus, you once took on the great task of organizing his laboratory, to no avail. Even if you manage to fix and align his inventory, it’s gonna go back to chaos after three days minimum.

It’s okay tho, it’s normal for him, more excuse to visit you-

Guilty, he wants your spacious and refreshing greenhouse and often asks for a redesign of his laboratory to share similar workspace with you.

Acting Grand Master Jean had to decline this idea just because it costs more than a million mora.

He’s definitely gonna sulk in your greenhouse after that, back leaning on the warm glass wall as he does nothing but sketch you and your plants the whole day.

Don’t stop him

Just admire the pout

Actually Working with Albedo! (Finally)

Whenever Albedo discovers/explores a new area, you’re always sure to tag along whether willingly or by force

YOU BET YOUR FROZEN ASS YOU’RE COMING WITH HIM TO DRAGONSPINE

DEFINITELY BY FORCE

I imagine that despite being his assistant/student, Sucrose and Timaeus are more focused on research and the application of Alchemy, so they’re not much of the resource gathering type. That said, Albedo is very thankful of your existence, it’s a breather to his already full schedule.

Albedo is both considerate and inconsiderate unconsciously : While he may run off to experiment on the traveler and leave you scouting the area yourself, he doesn’t willingly set you on fire from the inside.

Every time he comes back to camp after finishing the step by step experiment with/on the Traveler, he makes sure to check up on how you are doing.

TAKE NOTE: Our prince is very occupied and busy with his own work a lot, so he’s never really seen you in action when you go out to get the the materials he needs-

So he is purely horrified when he saw you hanging off the cliff with nothing but a rope around you to keep you safe, carefully investigating a petrified tree branch up close.

Suddenly, elevator.

Again, Imma bet, he’s gonna be accompanying you in all your expeditions after that. He’ll need to know where and how you acquire every ingredient outside of your greenhouse.

Does it require you to climb a mountain? Are there any Hilichurl camps nearby? Maybe mobs that are attracted to that type of flower?

He would be very attentive of your inventory reports and would recognize if a dangerous gathering journey is near. He’ll be right there with you.

Violetgrass x1000

He’s gathering more than a month’s worth just to make sure you don’t go back to make that dangerous trip. It’s very impractical, but let him rest his heart.

You and Albedo: Resource Gathering Expedition; Other Knights: Outdoor Dates Disguised as Work-Related Outings

Flower crowns are good and all but have you heard of flower bracelets?

Omg so cute hhh imagine a Flaming Flower Stamen bracelet for his Dragonspine expedition- it’s not gonna last forever but it’s so precious he’s definitely keeping that shit even when the heat already dissipated from it gah-

“Paimon wonders, what’s that thing around your wrist?”

“A flame bracelet, made to keep the cold away.”

“Woah! Sounds very useful! Sure would be handy for exploring, you think we can borrow it-”

“No.”

Something angst-y: Albedo has yet to make a Dendro affinity potion and he’s really, really devastated about it and himself. You’ll have to forcibly pull him out of his self-deprecation, force him to get a breather.

Overall, Albedo greatly appreciates not only your utility but also your consistent company. He values your tenacity and comfort, sharing unadulterated curiousity as you both venture the great unknown. There’s a lot of stuff he can pray about to thank whichever archon has graced you. And despite his Vision lacking the function to actually help in the advancement of his research, he is now thankful for it, for he has found with it a greater purpose: Ensuring the safety of his precious Gardenia.

I CANT BELIEVE IT, THIS THING WAS 30 TIMES LONGER BUT TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE THE DRAFT PROPERLY AND HAD TO GET EVERYTHING BACK THROUGH MEMORY, AND MY MEMORY IS B A D. I’M SORRY I KNOW YOU JUST WANTED TO TALK BUT IT ENDED UP BEING SUPER LONG AND LOOKS LIKE A HEADCANON THAN ANYTHING, MY FORMATTING IS REALLY LIKE THIS AAAAAAAA- I hope you enjoy ywy I like your brain, it brings good ideas and gives me good ideas too!

[leviiattacks]

Head canons for mafia boss levi being interested in Starbucks barista reader please

note :: this idea is so cute i wrote a scenario i hope you don’t mind. i can still post some headcanons for it too if you really want me to! i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted me to write anon :-( ALSO this is super casual writing it’s not like the way i usually write it’s just bullet points i mean idk i wanted to try something different and more relaxed lmk if this style is okay for some requests :D

if anyone would like any more requests with this levi please lmk!! i could go in more detail tbh maybe the pacing of this isn’t too good bc it is a short request but yeahhh

+ idk why the formatting looks so odd i tried my best to fix it myself ?!.!/!:£:& but yeah sorry again!!

levi has always been one to keep his business meetings lowkey

i mean, realistically who is going to suspect mafia boss levi is lingering in a starbucks???

the place is well-suited for his hushed meetings, he finds it to be quiet enough and clean enough

but then one winter everything changes

you start working there

he’s waiting in the queue texting erwin asking when he’ll be able to get there

it’s been a RUSH and the traffic is crazy as expected from the bustling city so he doesn’t expect to see erwin for a while

that’s when he hears you for the first time

“HEY!! Mister in the fancy suit it’s your turn to order”

your hands are placed on the counter and you lean forward eagerly waiting for what he has to say

levi rolls his eyes because he thinks you have to be ogling his designer watch and shoes (you really aren’t)

“black tea, no sugar and... a cinnamon swirl” he’ll order for erwin later. “i’ll be eating in.”

“ooohhh you’re a tea guy? name?” you’re smiling at him radiantly and it irks him because you have nothing to be smiling about really

eyes narrowing he responds “no shit, i just ordered tea.”

“and why the hell do you want my name?” he snaps on reflex

he then remembers he’s at a starbucks and you are not interrogating him, you’re doing your job

“sir... this is starbucks?? is this your first time here?”

you blink in confusion but then your face lights up “oh my, would you like to sign up for a starbucks card?? you can collect stars and get rewards and it’s so muc–“

“do i look like i need a starbucks card?”

“everyone looks like they need a starbucks card”

he doesn’t carry on that part of your conversation instead he looks you dead in the eyes “levi, is my name.”

his glare intimidates you and you awkwardly laugh

you think he’s probably having a super bad day and choose to not bother him that much

as he’s waiting he sees the way you clumsily navigate behind the counter, you’re juggling a number of things in your arms

automatically his face sours

he’s not expecting the tea you produce to be any good

he doesn’t care how nice you are if you can’t do what he wants he won’t be leaving a tip

he’s stingy like that

a clatter is heard and all the noise you’re making just makes you all the more aggravating

he’s been coming here for years and never has encountered a barista as bothersome as yourself

at some point you call out the name “SCROOGE!” from behind the counter, levi finds it embarrassing that anyone would ever call their child that

like... out of all the names this is what they choose??

damn they have to hate parenthood

“scrooge i’m begging you collect your drink.”

he looks up pissed that whoever this scrooge is has the audacity to hold you up because that by default means they are holding him up

then he sees you staring directly at him with that warm smile again

yeah, that smile, it could thaw ice

then it settles.

he’s scrooge?

turning around he notices no one is behind him then he sees that no one else is waiting apart from him

jaw clenching he heads towards you and makes it a point to “tsk” in frustration

he takes his cup and his cinnamon roll and you wave him goodbye

usually levi prefers to silently sit in the booth furthest from the action, he wants no attention drawn to him at all

but that day he finds himself sitting closer to the counter

he’s kind of stunned when he does that because he’s just sat there thinking why the hell did i just do that?? why did i sit here??

but he convinces himself it’s because he wants to see erwin when he’s about to walk in so he can prepare to scold him for not arriving on time

he takes a sip of his beverage expecting nothing above mediocirty but weirdly, your brew, it tastes perfect

levi’s eyes linger on you and he notices the way your behaviour is consistent

you’re helping an old woman pick what she’d like from the menu

you compliment her jumper, says it really makes her blue eyes stand out

you don’t have to be as nice as you are and it’s ticking him off

it ticks him off seeing someone so pure and sweet for no reason

when did people decide to not have ulterior motives anymore? did you decide those were too old school for you?

tongue poking at the inside of his cheek he activates his poker face and looks away

you, are a random person. a random, annoying person. he is going to stop thinking about you.

turning his attention to erwin instead he calls him and when he picks up levi makes his point very clear

“i was just called scrooge. get the hell here so i can order for you.”

erwin chuckles, his throaty laugh makes levi’s mouth twitch downwards in irritation

“and who exactly called you scrooge?”

“is that relevant?”

“very much so if you’ve mentioned it yourself”

levi is silent and erwin laughs once again at his colleagues anti social way of interacting

“i’ll be there in five, feel free to order.”

grunting a sound of approval levi hangs up

“you’re back! how may i help?”

the way you treat being a barista so seriously, he finds it oddly endearing

“one doubleshot iced coffee.”

nodding to yourself you hum a tune happily and get to work

ever since that day levi finds himself frequenting that specific starbucks more

at first it’s a whole lot of “i’m pissed and i don’t have a reason so i’ll go down there and have her annoy me, then i’ll have a real reason”

then you talk to him more and you both engage in small talk

then it develops when he doesn’t mean for it to

you tell him about what you study, where you’re from, how your mother has recently developed arthritis but she’s still so determined to cook to the best of her abilities despite the pain

that reminds him of you

each visit he learns something new about you

sometimes he’ll let you in on his life

“what do you work as, i’ve always wondered?“

“accountant.“ no way in hell is he going to scare you away, telling you isn’t an option

you burst out in laughter holding your knees

“accountancy is well paying what is your point...?”

“do you not know what that means” your laugh is muffled as you press the sleeve of your jumper against your mouth

he shakes his head completely clueless

“people say their accountants when they’re actually strippers. it’s a tiktok thing.”

you pause for a second staring at his face

he feels the way his ears grow red under your gaze but he ignores it looking as bored as ever

“ah well. i did not know that.”

“clearly not you are an old man.”

then you turn away to brew his tea and he lets the ghost of a smile sneak its way onto his face

you aren’t looking, it’s okay

but he knows it’s dangerous getting attached to you

it’s stupid relaxing

and it’s even worse loosening up

so he doesn’t.

he’s always cold, bitter and frigid in his responses as he’s always been with you

but that doesn’t stop you from kindly smiling

or absentmindedly brushing the surface of his skin on rare occasions

it doesn’t stop you from calling him scrooge

and it certainly doesn’t stop you from slowly thawing the frosty exterior of his heart

then one day you let the words “my scrooge” slip out of your mouth

he doesn’t know why he let’s it happen or even how it happens exactly but he can’t help the smile that makes itself evident on his face

“HEY YOU JUST SMILED HELLO?????? you can do THAT????”

he smiled in front of you, that’s it he’s fucked

he quickly drops it and is back to his normal narrowed glare

“i did no such thing”

you give him a knowing look but sigh airily there’s no point in getting the man to admit it

“what would you like today, a frappe?”

you ask the sarcastic question even though you know he hates change. his usual order is already ingrained in your mind. you know it off by heart

he sighs in exasperation

“is your memory really that bad?”

“nope. cinnamon rolls and black tea it is!”