#it is human and it happens and embracing it for a moment without trying to *solve* it or escape it

[cellarspider]

Shout-out especially to outsider characters that present things in a new light. Sometimes a different point of view on your pain is what you need to get a breakthrough.

not to go all cringe on main but fictional characters have genuinely helped me through some of the worst shit in my life n i’ll forever be grateful to fiction for giving me comfort when i’ve needed it most

[syluses]

separation anxiety

⤷ caleb experiences a rut after a long time, and it just so happens that you’re in his path.

cw. 18+ smut, hybrid! caleb, knotting, dubcon if you squint, breeding, obsessive/possessive behavior, perv caleb, fem human! reader, ruts, size difference, also a lil breeding, 3.5k words because i physically struggle to write smut without a preamble, reader is ovulating and it triggers his rut this time for whatever reason

an. saw this trope going around & wanted to try it <33 he’s got that DAWG in him 💪 also i cant decide if hybrid caleb gives german shepherd vibes or samoyed vibes…. that moments post lives rent free in my mind tho idk (>_<)

𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, & 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅! (๑´ `๑)♡

Caleb would say he hates you for the time you’re gone, but it’d be a big fat lie. His love for you, big and bursting in his chest, deepens in the quiet windows where you’re present at work or running errands throughout Linkon before returning home to him.

There’s a permanence of you in his mind and being. He wants it no other way.

His devotion for you doesn’t necessarily drown him- no, you’re always there with a lifering waiting- but it certainly sweeps him up and threatens to.

He gets a bit ahead of himself sometimes, he’s aware of that; energetic, bulging at the seams with vigor; whether it’s an integral part of his personality or just a consequence of his breed, the pound he came from never quite knew. Your Gran never figured that out, either, and for as sweet and trying as she was, she soon realized she couldn’t foster him for long.

Because he was a big boy, hungry for attention and wired to please, well-meaning but oft over involved with personal space— and he brought a loaded package that your Gran just couldn’t sign her name off on, not after a few months, anyway. She tried her best before nudging him into your care, because she sure as hell wasn’t about to give him up to that squalid pound or the streets again- and besides, the mutt liked her granddaughter; all those visits she paid throughout the summer obviously endeared Caleb to her, and quickly.

You admit, it’s a mite difficult to juggle between long days at work, little tasks that drag you from point to point throughout Linkon, and your own personal life on top of caring for a hybrid stowed away in your shoebox apartment— but your grandmother was all but sapped of her energy then, turning to you for aid although she seldom ever did, and you’d always lend a hand where you could.

The mutt- Caleb, is his name (and you call it fondly even as he’s pawing at your thighs for attention or drooling on your collar)- has grown on you considerably in the past half year, anyway.

You won’t let him down or leave him at the curb. He’s yours. The red collar you bought him says as much, printed with your number on a silver plate, and he wears it not because you make him but because he’s proud of it.

He’s a good boy, he is. He always has been and for that you’re thankful.

Except, this week he’s… different.

As of a few days ago, it’s like he’s been testing the waters- and your patience- on just how far he can go before you tell him off or say bad dog. He must find them warm because he’s just been diving deeper as the week progresses.

You don’t know what to do. He’s oddly aggressive. It’s not rare at all for him to follow you all around your apartment, but he’s foregone the very last shred of respect for your personal space and nips when you try to push him away. Not hard enough to actually hurt- the yip you make is more surprised than anything when he pulls you back in and licks at the small red patch- but you look wounded at it.

Because Caleb doesn’t bite— he just doesn’t.

He wraps you up in seemingly endless embraces and breathes your smell in until he’s dizzy, laughing into your neck like a giddy child. He does this every time you try to leave for work and he’s made you late for it.

Maybe it’s just because you’re ovulating and a little hormonal, but it makes you quite sour and the mood stays even when you return in the afternoon. He’s never liked when you’re gone, sure, but he’s always been there to see you off at the door with a pout as you scratch behind his ear- more or less tame about it.

Your patience really frays at the odd uptick in his possessiveness, though. It’s hurtful.

You’ve always treated him less like a pet- a hybrid- and more like a friend, and you feel quite indignant for it when he growls and tells you that he hates the smell of other men on you, hearing none of your excuses that it’s ‘just coworkers’, glaring at you like some brainless extension of him. You feel less like a person and more like an object, a streetlamp in which he emerges from the shadows for just to piss on to show it belongs to him.

He’s touchy. Snippy. Glued to your side at all times. It’s concerning and frustrating and confusing all at once.

By the fifth day mark, on Friday night, you’re tuckered out by it and don’t question where he is when you return home early from a shift and he’s, uncharacteristically, not there to greet you.

A red collar however, laid on the floor, its tag glittering under dim hallways lights, strikes you as both curious and unsettling.

He never takes that off. No- says it’s his way of showing you and the whole world that he belongs to you, and— have you been too impatient with him lately? Brusque? Maybe you’re a little hormonal but it’s no cause to get short with him, even when he’s acting up, and what if he no longer wants you as his owner—

A gasp.

You find him in your bedroom, humping your pillow, yowling as he comes undone- unawares- and the walls spin as you nearly faint.

You drop your purse. “Caleb!” You shriek, and a visible shiver rolls down his spine as he turns around.

“Bad dog!”

✦

You sleep on it.

Well, you wash your sheet and your pillowcases- and then you sleep on it.

Maybe you overreacted. If anything, you should be grateful for what you walked in on because otherwise, he wouldn’t have known how to tell you he’s been going through a bit of a hot phase- the first of his you’ve experienced- and doesn’t know how to control himself.

You blush just thinking about it, shame knocking in your chest as your heart beats heavy. You feel awful for walking in on him for a number of reasons. One of them being he came all over your bed- and his tummy- and you had to clean both up through furious tears as you peeled your covers off the mattress and pointed him off in the direction of the bathroom, telling him to run the faucet and quick.

A pass of guilt, the fear of you being angry with him, made its round across his kicked expression but he held off on arguing.

For the first documented time in the whole week, Caleb appeared mellow- not agitated, restless, or tense- and rather crestfallen, and you noted it only vaguely as you irately turned on the washer.

Now, it’s in the forefront of your brain.

Well, if he’s been going through some kind of rut lately, it only makes sense he’d be all kinds of pent up, and that his release (albeit in an inconvenient way and place) would provide some relief.

It’s closer to noon when you finally exit your bedroom and meet him at the sofa- the same one you’d all but banished him to last night. He prefers to spend his nights with you, either curled up at your side or splaying his full weight over your back- a breed-relative habit, you’re sure. You’ve heard of some other kinds who enjoy a room to themselves or do just fine with the couch, on their lonesome— But not Caleb.

He looks tired but perks up when he hears you patter down the hall, violet eyes lighting when you timidly take a seat.

With a bit of hesitation, he inches closer until you sheepishly wave a hand and he barrels into your arms.

“Ah- Caleb-“

Before you can even apologize for your jumping the gun last night, he beats you to the punch. “M’ sorry. You don’t hate me for it, do you?” He sighs into your collar and you shiver, “I wish you could understand what it feels like- I wouldn’t have done it if it was somethin’ I could control, I hope you realize that.”

You swallow, digesting his words as you belatedly place a hand on his head to pet. He positively melts. “Y-Yeah,” you mumble back. “It’s okay. I actually wanted to say sorry too. I- I didn’t understand what was going on…”

A deep groan looses from his throat, his chest swelling with content as you itch that spot behind the furry ears say upright on his head. They give a few twitches as he leans against you and wraps his muscular arms around your middle, resting his chin by your shoulder.

“It’s my fault, though, not yours. I didn’t know how to tell you- I was worried you’d just end up scared’a me, or…”

His pause instills interest in you. Your fingers smooth back his brown locks, mussed from fitful sleep, and he sighs. “Or what?” You press softly.

You pull him back just enough to get a look at him, his cheekbones almost shiny with a dusting of pink. His thick brows furrow together.

“Or that you’d leave,” he whispers.

Your eyes widen. You lasso your arms around his neck and pull him to you, your head slotting above his shoulder as his fingers quickly move to support the position, one hand perched at your thigh and the other braced at your side.

“Nonsense,” you grumble at his ear, a bit angry at the suggestion. “I’d never leave you.”

Something hard, then, prods at your middle- too fleshy to be something in either of your pockets- and you stiffen at the realization as it comes a beat too late.

Caleb’s voice is breathy at your ear, low, his tail thumping on the cushion. “Yeah?” He murmurs, a pang of heat stirring in your belly at the sound. Suddenly aware, you gently go to push at his broad chest but he stops you with an imploring look- although the desire, brewing in dilated pupils, isn’t lost on you- and musters a pout.

It looks out of place, the wholesome gaze marred by hunger as it reshapes his puppyish look.

“Even when I am no better than a bad dog?”

Your brow quirks, “I didn’t mean it,” you whisper, wide-eyed as his eyes bore into yours. Every micro expression you make is being catalogued and noted with utmost care, his pink tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips as they grow dry.

“It’s okay if you did,” he murmurs back. “I’m just glad I have you around to remind me of my place…” Long, slim fingers reach up and you watch, unseeingly, as they stroke your cheek, his other hand creeping dangerously close to the waistband of your sleep shorts.

He chuckles, but the humor wanes quickly.

“Otherwise, I’d always be misbehaving. Do you even know what you do to me?” His voice is meaningful, torrid, as he draws in and the tip of his nose brushes with yours. You can’t find it in you to move as your thighs- the ones he slithers a singleminded hand in between- begin to roil with unexpected warmth.

You plant a hand to his chest, shying away, “C-Caleb-“

“Don’t worry,” he says sweetly, “M’ not gonna hurt you. I just….” He lets out a sigh, long and perhaps just a bit exaggerated- but it has the intended effect on you. You purse your lips and feel a trace of guilt twist in your heart.

“You drive me crazy. Y-Your smell- I don’t know why this is happening, either. Honestly? I haven’t had a rut in a couple years. But this…”

Caleb lets out a soft noise of pleasure, lending his full weight to you when he breathes you in and shakes.

When he speaks next, his words come out raspy and so low you hardly register them as his breaths grow labored- they’re all you can hear as the living room space shrinks down to just him and the knuckles that dare to dip into your panties.

“This is just too unfair. You won’t leave me hangin’, pretty,… w-will you?” Breathy. With an undeniable streak of need. You can’t miss the lust that usurps the softer parts of him and makes him look less puppyish and cheerful and more wolfish, calculating.

And, well, when he puts it like that, how could you?

✦

He doesn’t fuck you on the couch. He takes you to your bed and fucks you there like a lover would.

He fucks you deep and fast- to his credit, he doesn’t hurt you, staying true to his word, but the possibility of bruises becomes a nearer thing when he folds your legs back and his grasp becomes constricting, plunging in and out of your cunt with rapt focus. Indigo eyes glow with something feral, like you’ve given him no choice but to claim his ownership over you through sloppy kisses and clinking teeth as he pounds into you, driven him into a corner- but his touch turns worshipful when he presses his forehead to yours and moans.

“Ah- y-you feel so good, so tight,” he compliments, words almost slurred. His pupils expand and he looks no different than a drunken, babbling man, his cheeks a rosy red.

His murmurs are wet against your lips as they graze and mush with his, Caleb’s face so close to yours that his lashes tickle your brow as he gawks at you, so entranced by whatever it is he’s seeing to look away.

A fluffy tail sways unevenly behind him and touches your leg on occasion, almost like it’s trying to curl around you, prickling and eager. Every part of him gravitates to you. You’re the ground beneath his feet. Fertile land.

“And you’re all mine, okay? Nobody else’s. I want you to wear my scent- to carry me with you no matter where you go. You have to promise me you will- mmph- That sound good-?

“C-Caleb—“

You groan when he stuffs himself deeper inside and you swear you feel his length throb inside your walls, stretching. The veins running along his shaft carve out a new pathway in you, one special and just for him, as his balls- heavy and fat, with a hell of a lot to give- slap against your ass. Slick oozes out from the squelching seam of you, coating his thick cock but you still struggle to accomodate his size despite the lubrication.

He’s made to make you feel as if you’re losing your mind. You snatch your jaw with your own hand to keep the flurry of high-pitched sounds from spilling out lest they embarrass you, but he shoos it away and cuffs your wrists with a hand splayed over them.

“Nah- I wanna hear you, baby. You can’t keep holdin’ out on me like this... I’m giving you my all right now, so it should be pretty obvious that you can do the same, yeah?”

A mewl punches out from your lungs half a second later and he seems quite contented at that. He sighs, closing his eyes, saying,

“I’ve been good all along. Can’t you play the part, too? I just want you to see how much I really love you,” his confession is by no means considered casual what with the passion in which its conveyed, but you can’t help but feel it’s a little sudden, said a little too quickly, and you wonder if he means what he says or if the rut is responsible for all these novel, amorous feelings in him.

I mean, he’s probably too wrapped up in the moment to even contemplate his own admissions as they all spew out—

“Caleb, too big—“ you gasp, cutting him off, and he lets out a strangled kind of noise when your walls clamp around him.

Holyfuck holyfuck holyfuck do it again, he wants to say, suffocate me, but nothing comes out and he realizes after a long second that his vision has whited completely. He can’t see anything; he’s in a fuzzy, dazzling world with the blinders on and all he can smell and feel is you- your scent, sugar sweet and about as inviting as a barstool pulled out, envelopes him and he can’t breathe. Can’t speak.

He fucks into you with reckless abandon, huffs you in like it’s his final breaths, and then lets it all go without care for anything else. Far as he’s concerned, everything he knows is defined by you. This is a give and take relationship: he actually gives a damn about your opinion of him and takes all you have to offer.

He’s in love, puppyish and clumsy but fuck you lead the way and lead him on.

“Shh, I know,” he rasps out, steaming up your neck like a fogged window pane as he insinuates himself there. Your whole body feels like a furnace, burning up for him as he opens you up and tucks himself inside.

“I know it’s big, but you gotta be ready for-“ he clips his sentence short, thinking better of it.

He wants to warn you of his impending knot- the one that’ll no doubt leave you yelping and writhing away from him- you certainly deserve as much of a foreword to it, but part of him is just so terrified you’ll reject him or deny him the priviledge of shoving it inside you and fuck he can’t have that.

Caleb’s nothing if not loyal. He’s also nothing if not selfish. That’s always been a wriggling bug he’s tried to stomp out but it remains in the baser part of him, only amplified by the intense rut that came right out of the blue.

He wants you singing his name and bonded to him (or as much of a bond the two of you can form), and so that’s what he’ll get.

He’ll apologize later, and you will forgive him. So all’s fine.

“Y-You can take it,” is the simpler thing he settles on, and you let it pass, because between the fat cockhead splitting you apart deliciously and the sweet, somewhat perturbing nothings he gushes at your ear, you’re deaf to most of everything.

But when you come- unexpected and sharp, overwhelming your senses as your hips ruck up and he has to pin you down in place and ride it out with you as you cream around him- the scream you let out rings in your ears and so does his ferocious grunt. It’s loud and you’re so numb as seconds pass that feel like eons; pointed teeth teasing at the squishy chunk of your shoulder, invoking a buried sense of alarm.

And then he’s biting down hard- not just nipping- the pleasure thankfully driving off the pain as he ploughs inside, muffling a string of curses as he picks up his pace. Caleb gets sloppier and sloppier and then he’s burning white-hot inside you and moaning like a pornstar, pelvis juddering as he comes.

“Mmh- f-fuck- Good girl!” he rewards with half a brain, fucked out into perfect oblivion, and for a second you wonder why his voice sounds more meant for comfort than praise- until you expect him to pull out but he doesn’t, something big and round forming at the base of his cock that has his eyes fluttering back as it pops in. He goes boneless on top of you as every limb of yours stiffens and coils around his broad back.

You scream his name. He shivers.

It feels enough to shatter your mind- the pain searing you, but the ghost of pleasure that creeps up along your nervous system makes you go like jelly beneath him, helpless to whatever he’s got planned for you.

“C-Caleb, you-!”

“Yeah, a bad dog, a bad dog,” he stammers, whimpering at your earlobe, “I know, baby, I know. Just- don’t shut me out, okay? I- It’ll be over soon, just- ah- loosen up around it, okay? It’ll feel so much better that way. Just… hold on to me.”

“I-It hurts-!”

“Ngh, shhh…” He trembles out, shifting to sample a broken mewl from your lips, cupping your jaw with all the love in the world and staring at you as if you told the sun to rise this morning. “Be a good girl and take it, mm? Your pussy’s squeezing me so tight, I think she wants it too, but she has to relax a little first, yeah? Mm… I could give you a whole litter of pups. Give your Gran a bunch of cute lil granbabies to drive her crazy.”

You choke on your own spit, the brunet letting out a near delirious chuckle at the idea and your reaction to it before his brow gives a wince, your walls instinctively trying to push his swollen knot out.

“Wha- Caleb, is that even-?”

“I don’t know,” he kisses your forehead tenderly, his tail giving a heavy, excited thump behind him on the bed as you grab the sheets for dear life and they wrinkle, pinched like your conflicted expression.

“But I’ve been dyin’ to try it out for myself.”

[neo--queen--serenity]

There’s just something extremely touching about watching Izutsumi work through a wide range of emotions when she sees Marcille cry for the first time.

She’s sleeping on Marcille’s lap when it happens—something she hadn’t willingly done since her human consciousness was subdued in the Golden Country.

Izutsumi was initially very embarrassed when she remembered showing Marcille such unbridled affection when her monster (cat) side had full control in Melini. But now, shortly after, she did it again without any fuss, seemingly over this embarrassment.

But when she notices Marcille crying—not crying expressive tears over a situation with low stakes, but tears of real sorrow and loss—Izutsumi physically recoils.

She reacts with the childlike fear and panic that one feels when someone they heavily rely on and trust (like a parent or teacher) shows vulnerability, doubt, or weakness. She lashes out, trying to use words of reproach to get Marcille to stop crying. Or, in childlike terms, to try to force Marcille’s pain go away.

When that doesn’t work, we see her physically struggle as she tries to sit by and wait it out. But Izutsumi can’t do it.

Marcille’s pain causes her so much intense distress that Izutsumi immediately offers physical affection as a response—something she has not done for anyone up to this point.

When Senshi told the party about his traumatic backstory, Izutsumi did not touch him. She did support him, tried to offer words of comfort, but she did not embrace him like the others did. Maybe she didn’t know how; maybe she didn’t have a proper example on what comforting someone looked like. But she saw all three of them reach for Senshi, she saw them hold him in their arms, and anchor him as he cried.

This is the first time another party member has cried out of sadness since that moment. It’s possible that she saw how the others helped Senshi, and maybe, subconsciously, she saw that it worked. That it made him feel better.

She is clearly unused to it, and has her own rollercoaster of emotions as Marcille gratefully accepts the comfort Izutsumi is offering her. But it helps. It helps Marcille immediately, and Izutsumi knows this.

These acts of vulnerability are foreign to her, and thus make her feel uncomfortable, but she lets Marcille lean on her afterwards anyway. She wanted Marcille to be okay, wanted it so badly, that she accidentally overcame an emotional obstacle she never even knew she had.

[monster-disaster]

Feral question—

How would different monsters react to their human partner giving them playful love bites? Just randomly too not just during sexy time

Also what type of monsters would go crazy when their partner leaves scratch marks on their back during sexy time?

monsters x human!Reader Good to know: some spice, nothing serious

The simple answer: they love whatever you do to them. But let's unpack it a little bit:

Your orc finds it amusing whenever you bite his bicep just because it's there, and you can't say no to an opportunity like that. Your bite barely feels more than a small nibble, a teasing little thing that makes him grin. And, of course, he has to return the favor. He knows exactly what the scrape of his tusks against the sensitive skin of your neck does to you, and by the time he is finished, the mark of your nails is all over his broad back. Deep, stinging trails that only make him rumble into your heated skin with satisfaction. He wears them like a trophy. He only rolls off you when he knows you have nothing left to give him, tangled in his embrace, all breathless and boneless.

Your werewolf knows all too well the primal urge to bite a loved one, but you only do it when he is in his human form because, well, fur. He loves it. It registers in his mind as a claim, and he only wishes the mark would stay, but he is happy with the ones you leave on his back too. Sometimes, the way he urges you to dig deeper, to leave something more lasting, almost makes you hesitate. Almost. But you can see it in his eyes how it rewires his brain in ways he can't put it into words. And when he becomes absolutely sure you are the one, he won’t settle for fading marks anymore. No, he will take it further and tattoo your name somewhere on his body as a permanent claim for the world to see. You will call him silly for it, but deep down, it does something with your brain too.

Your naga laughs whenever you attempt to bite him. Your weak, blunt human teeth do absolutely nothing to his scales. And unfortunately, your nails either. Not without causing him real damage, but he appreciates the sentiment anyway. And he is more than happy to return the favor. Between the two of you, it’s always you who ends up with the marks of your lovemaking, but it's fine, because soon, he will propose, and there will always be a ring on his finger as your claim over him.

Your dragon is similar. A soft, fragile human like you could never leave a mark on his thick scales, but it doesn't mean he doesn’t go absolutely feral when you try. The fact that his pretty, delicate mate wants to claim him? It only adds to his ego. And he would really, really like to return the favor, but he can't. He is all too aware of how dangerous he can be. He is a predator through and through, and you are his sweet, little treasure. Instead, he drowns you in gifts and grins, all too smug and pleased with himself, whenever you sink your teeth into him.

Your goblin found it weird the first few times when you bit him while he was busy with the most mundane things, but he got used to it quickly. Now, if too much time passes without you chewing on him, he starts getting antsy. Did something happen? Are you mad? He won’t rest until you finally put your mark on him again. You created a monster with your habit, but honestly? Neither of you are complaining.

Your minotaur gets horny the moment he feels your teeth on him. It doesn't matter if it's the middle of the day and you have a bunch of things to do, now, you are his for the next several hours. Minotaurs are not predators like werewolves or rakshasas, they don't have the instincts to claim with bites and scratches. They prefer the stuffing you full until you are dripping method. And your minotaur isn't different, but because of this, he finds your need to bite him and claw at him even more exciting.

Your rakshasa never misses the opportunity to flash his sharp canines whenever you bite him, saying now it's his turn. He finds your habit more amusing than anything. His pretty bunny wants to bite him, really? Cute. But the scratches you leave down his back? Now, they are a different story. Those make him purr. He loves nothing more than stretching out beside you, all relaxed and spent with your mark slightly burning on his back.

[monstersholygrail]

There is a world, not far from our own, where creatures and monsters are more beloved than feared. Where they’re hunted down not out of defense and security but due to the greed of collectors looking for their next trophy. 

You never had any interest or part in it. Always seeing monsters as people trying to make a living just like yourself. But living near the harbor it’s unfortunately not all that uncommon to see poachers selling off kraken tentacles, a siren’s voice, or a mermaids tail. Anything they can get their hands on, really. It pains your heart to see so many hurt and nothing done about it. 

But that is all about to change. 

At that same moment, deep in the ocean, a poor Siren is ambushed by a bunch of poachers. Overwhelmed by their forces, captured, and attacked, they heave his extraordinarily long body onto their ship. Left unable to move as they viciously take his only means of defense. His voice. And then they toss him back into the ocean without a care for how vulnerable they have now left him.

At first he doesn’t even realize what has happened, his memory of the attack fuzzy and disoriented. But the moment he tries to speak a sharp pain radiates from his throat and has him curling in on himself against the ocean floor. Trembling eyes widen as realization dawns over him.

The waves of his mourning wash over the surrounding marine flora and turn everything around him into ash. The water turns darker with the storm of his emotions as it threatens to destroy everything in his path.

He stumbles onto land with the need for revenge etched onto his very soul, shedding his tail and walking into the unknown without daring to look back. The humans all stare as he passes, his beauty alone enough to enchant and allure them. But it all means nothing without his voice.

There was no doubt in his mind that he would find the poachers who had done this to him. Even if his memory is still as broken as the rest of him. Determination is the only thing left fueling him and he will not give that up.

But as he cuts his way through the village square, the most wondrous sound breaks through the haze of his fury. He searches hopelessly for the noise and when he finally finds it his gaze lands on you, playing an instrument he has never seen on any of the ships he’s wrecked.

The sound is mesmerizing and he finds himself walking closer to you. Though you don’t even notice him, your eyes closed, and a blissful expression painted on your face. But the music you are playing is anything but blissful. No, it speaks to his soul, it voices every word he can no longer say aloud.

He feels his knees give out beneath him and the pain cuts into his skin. He does not care. All he can do is look upon you and watch as you play the most devastating song he has ever heard. One even his previously infamous voice could never replicate.

When you open your eyes you’re surprised to see this man before you. He a vision of otherworldly beauty. Even as endless tears stream down from his bloodshot eyes. You do not know what horrors this man has gone through but something pulls at you to comfort him.

Not a word is spoken, nor is it needed, as you set down your instrument and take him into your arms. He immediately breaks down and sobs silently in your embrace. You don’t know when you begin to cry along with him but you both hold each other till long past the sun goes down.

As time passes, you teach him to speak with his hands, allowing him to finally communicate with you. His heart flutters as something in his soul clicks back into place at the gift you’ve given him. Having a voice once more.

Now that he can finally talk to you, he immediately shares his tale. Explaining he was not a man but a Siren. He fumbles over his fingers as he recounts the poacher attack, the way they stole everything from him. He confides his wishes to you, his need for revenge.

He’s shocked to see the thunderous rage booming throughout your expression. He didn’t know what to expect but a part of him hadn’t expected your support. Not with how kind, gentle, and loving you are. At least to him you are.

But you do support him and there’s no second guessing that as the two of you immediately begin to make a plan. Leading you to teach him how to speak through his hands in more ways than one.

Not only through his fingers but through the vessel of an instrument. Allowing his hypnotic magic to flow into the object while maintaining the same effect.

Even though he can now speak for himself, the Siren thanks you in the only way he truly knows how. With a kiss that speaks of all his gratitude and admiration for you. He pours all of the love and passion he’s been holding back into it.

His passion only growing into a raging inferno as you both stumble into your chambers. Your bodies intertwined, a mess of limbs and panting breaths as you join together and become one. Now in body as you are in heart.

Afterwards, with your plan in place and his magic, the two of you quickly rise up the ranks of society. Playing for people of both high and low birth. Traveling to villages and cities all across the country. Always in search of the ones who stole from your Siren his most precious gift.

It’s at a charity concert when that fateful day arrives. Your Siren’s pale blue eyes peeling through the crowd as they always do while you play. His heart hammers in his chest once they fall on a group of familiar looking men. Sharp painful visions of the past sear their way back into his mind and knock the wind out of him.

Your own gaze follows his line of sight, seeing the group of questionable looking men. All of them glancing around at the nobles in the room as if they’ve hit the jackpot. Something fierce burns in your belly and you and your Siren begin to play even harder, working as one to help strengthen his magic.

Even you feel something the moment the hypnosis seeps into their skin and latches onto their bones. Now expressionless faces fall onto you and listen as you two play the rest of the concert. None of them moving an inch as the hours pass. Like caught fish latched onto the fishing line and just waiting to be pulled in.

Near the end as you finish up the finale, your Siren uses his magic and directs the men into the back room. Somewhere isolated and private where you won’t be disturbed. The sound of roaring applause and cheering drowns out the beating of your hearts. Neither of you able to focus on their praise when your revenge is so close in sight.

It’s only as the door clicks behind you both does the siren’s song finally break. Clarity returns to the men’s milky eyes and a chorus of displeasure echos throughout the room. You don’t bother to respond. Let them say their last words, let them voice their complaints because soon they won’t be doing much of anything at all.

You narrow in on them, your murderous gazes eventually enough to silence them. And as you both lift up your instructions to deliver the last blow, recognition passes over each and every one of their faces, remembering what they had done to your love.

Your Siren being the last thing they see before perishing at your hands.

This piece was inspired by Schoenberg verklärte nacht op.4 - boulez. Please check it out, it’s such a beautiful song.

[jeonstudios]

fontana di trevi | 02

you seek out a vampire to help you with something.

pairing: vampire!jk x sadgirl, blood donor!reader

genre: vampire au, angst, fluff (really a sadgirl fic lol)

word count: 9k

warnings: same as last time basically: blood, needles, suicidal thoughts and intentions

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 2/2

<previous | next>

© fontana di trevi is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

“Thanks,” you smile politely as you close the car door, hearing the Uber drive off behind you. The walk up to the house is no different than last time, yet it definitely feels different. Both because of what happened almost a week ago, but also since you’re hoping this will be the last time.

What certainly is different is the surprised look on the vampire’s face as he opens the door to see you standing there with your hands in the pockets of your winter coat.

He himself is wearing a black hoodie, and once again, black shorts. His hair looks a little messier than how you’re used to seeing it. Almost like he’s been sleeping. Vampires don’t sleep, though, do they?

“I… didn’t think you’d show,” he admits honestly, nonetheless opening the door wider for you, and as you enter, you can’t help but think that he looks… almost cuddly.

Of course, he still gives off the usual intimidating aura, and he should probably be even scarier to you considering what happened last time you met him, but… you don’t know. Perhaps you’re just so deprived of human touch that a bloodthirsty vampire’s cold embrace seems inviting.

This time, he waits in the hallway while you step out of your shoes and remove your coat. 

“Yeah, I still want this. I just… wasn’t prepared,” you explain rather vaguely, knowing that he understands exactly what you’re getting at anyway. You want to die but on your terms.

“It wasn’t my intention. To do what I did.”

You meet his eyes. It’s not an outright apology, but it feels eerily close to one.

“You were there to… feed, weren’t you?”

He nods. “Didn’t get the chance to on Thursday or Friday.”

It’s your turn to nod in understanding. For a short moment, you stand there, looking at each other. 

Until you break the silence. “So, can we start?”

“Sure,” he agrees, turning around to head toward the kitchen.

Like the first time you showed up to his house when he didn’t think you were going to, he has to bring the supplies from wherever he keeps them. You take your spot at the table, slip off your cardigan, and wait.

The vampire returns with his hands full, placing the stuff down on the table before he pulls out another chair and positions it the same way as always. But his focus lies on your skin.

“These are new bruises?” he asks, carefully grasping your hand and very gently lifting it to better inspect the yellowing marks covering your skin. “You always bruise like this after?”

You follow his gaze. There are currently three bruises on your right arm, none the same as the night he almost killed you. Two are yellow and from when you bumped into a dresser at home a few days ago. The third is purple but smaller and its origin a mystery. If he wanted to see bruises, he should’ve seen the ones on your legs after you fell when he attacked you.

“Not the first time, but yeah. Usually just from the needle site, but lately, it’s all over. I guess I’m a little deficient in something,” you joke quietly, but the vampire doesn't laugh. 

“Why does it interest you so much? Do you have some kind of medical degree?” you ask, thinking back to when he first asked you why you didn’t wonder about his apparent knowledge.

“Not officially, but being dependent on humans like we are to some extent, you tend to pick up on stuff, and having been around as long as I have, it’s even more unavoidable. But I’ve never seen bruising this severe from blood loss.”

Fair enough. Your body should definitely try to keep the little blood remaining inside your veins, where it belongs. 

He starts prepping your arm, but instead of looking away, you close your eyes. Are you imagining things or has he been… softer lately? Making sure you got home safely instead of leaving you to your fate, almost worrying about your bruises, and being gentler in the way he attaches the needle? Then again, he’s only making sure you can give him as much blood as possible, and he also would’ve probably killed you if he’d gotten ahold of you last week.

“I take it you’ve killed before?” 

There’s a few seconds of silence, but then he answers, and there’s nothing hidden in his words or voice that reveals something more.

“I have.”

“How do you…,” you start, unsure of how to phrase your question. “I mean, what do you do… after?”

“Are you asking…?”

“How do you… dispose of them? And… I guess, how will you dispose of… me?”

It’s not really a sensitive question for you, so you’re not sure for whose sake you’re so careful. You doubt the vampire really cares.

You hear him exhale. “I guess it depends on the circumstances. I haven’t planned anything.”

You wince when he sticks you, more painful this time for some reason. The ball is placed in your hand like always, and you start to squeeze it.

Your curiosity isn’t that dire, so you’re not disappointed by his answer. Maybe he’s not even being honest, and it’s for your sake? Which brings you back to why he’s being extra gentle. The only other explanation you can think of is that he feels sorry for you. Maybe he just truly wants to spare you unnecessary pain and worry in the last moments of your pathetic life? Because this is it. With how shitty you’ve been feeling these last couple of weeks and especially since last time, you know it won’t be long. Today’s the day.

One bag. He can take one bag and after that he’ll have to end it. That way, you don’t have to bleed out, and he’ll get as much blood as possible. If he takes your advice about how to drain the rest, well, that’s up to him.

You’re startled by the sound of knocking, opening your eyes to see the vampire rise from his chair, seemingly sharing your surprise. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Nodding, you close your eyes again, getting as comfortable as you can in the chair while wondering who’s at the door. A vampire friend? A vampire partner? Surely, he doesn’t hang out with humans on the regular? You always got the impression, both from him and vampires in pop culture, that they don’t really care for humans. In fact, a dirty human only pesters a vampire’s environment unless they’re actively dying.

Your heart hurts. It’s beating heavily inside your chest, a feeling you’ve grown somewhat used to over the weeks, but it feels undeniably worse. Like every beat is a painful and exhausting accomplishment. Your breaths grow heavier too. 

Surely, it’s been more than a minute. Is he on his way back? If he were a human, chatting with another human at the front door, maybe you would’ve heard them, but you can’t discern anything. 

It feels a little like your head’s in the clouds, and you’re not sure if your eyes are still closed or if they’re open and you just can’t see anything. You have a feeling that not only can’t you hear the vampire, you can’t hear anything anymore.

Realizing that this is it, you try to call for him quietly to tell him so, but although you’re pretty certain you’re dying, for some reason, you don’t want to interrupt whatever he’s doing with his visitor.

“Fine, alright, I’ll talk to him, but please, this is not a good time.”

“But he’s being an ass, and you were the last person he spoke to before he left for fucking Iceland.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at his friend, Yuqi. With how much she and Taehyung love each other, there’s a surprising amount of drama. 

“I don’t wanna get involved. I’ll call him later.”

“Fine, get back to me after. If he doesn’t answer, I’m taking the first flight.”

“Vampire?”

Yuqi, who was just about to turn around to leave, stops in her tracks.

“What… was that?” she asks, standing still before discreetly scenting the air. “Is that… blood?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen. He’s used to smelling blood whenever you’re there to leave it, but not this much. Quickly, and without regard to Yuqi, he turns to rush back into his kitchen, eyes going even wider at the vision in front of him.

“Vampire?” you call out quietly again from the chair, eyes closed and unknowing of his return. You seem out of it, bordering on unconscious, and it’s not without reason. Jeongguk curses himself for not double checking the blood bag when he knows that brand is prone to ripping because the bag isn’t full; it’s broken, and your blood is dripping into a big puddle of red on the floor.

You think… you’re being… carried? By someone firm and… warm. You like that.

“I’m not warm," a low voice comments. "At least I’m not supposed to be.”

“I’m dying… right?” you mumble, feeling how the vampire puts you down on something soft.

“Probably, yeah.”

He does something to your arms, and you can’t figure out what, but you realize it has something to do with collecting the remaining blood when you’re gone.

There’s another voice.

Next time you open your eyes, you feel… different. And upset. You’re not as dizzy as you’ve become accustomed to, and the room doesn’t spin when you sit up on the bed. Your body hurts, but it feels more like you’re simply tired and beat than extremely weak. Most importantly, you feel, which means you’re not dead.

As if he could sense your awakening—or just possesses superhuman hearing—a door opens to reveal the vampire. He's wearing other clothes, grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and his face doesn't give you anything.

“What happened?” you question, looking around the room that’s clearly a bedroom. “And where am I?”

“You passed out. There was a hole in the bag, so the blood was just leaking onto the floor. I had my friend steal some from the hospital, and I gave you a transfusion. Yuqi also brought some clothes and stuff for you, so you’re staying here at least until tomorrow. Then you’re free to leave whenever you want.”

“I… don’t understand. Why would you—why not just let me go then?”

“I changed my mind.”

You look at him, bewildered and trying to find the words. “What do you mean you changed your mind? We had an agreement?”

“I know, but I changed my mind. I’m not doing it. If the blood matters to you, the bags are in the freezer.”

“Why–what would I do with blood?” you question in frustration. Is he offering it back in case you want to drink it? Try to put it back inside your veins? Apparently, you’ve already had transfusions, so you have exactly zero use for frozen bags of blood. “Why can’t you just get on with it? Why not let me die?”

“I do not. Want. To,” he hisses.

You stare at him in silence, feeling confused and betrayed. He looks away but doesn't seem affected. No shame, no regret, no anything but a moment of frustration to breach otherwise calm determination.

“Here’s the stuff,” he gestures toward a duffel bag by the foot of the bed. “You have a bathroom right outside, and I’m gonna order some food for you. You should take it easy; I wasn’t able to give you as much blood as you really need, and unfortunately, what I’ve previously collected isn’t fit to give back. Since it’s been frozen and stored improperly for that kind of purpose, there would be a risk of clotting.”

You look at him from where you’re sitting on his bed, and he looks back at you. The irritation you feel grows beyond what you’re capable of conveying, and so it turns into defeat. It makes you angry, how he managed to back out of giving you what you wanted at the very last second. You spent months upholding your end of the deal, and when it finally came time for him to do the same, he didn’t. 

“Don’t bother,” you lie down slowly, your back facing him where he stands at the door. Silently, you curse your body for feeling so tired; ideally, you’d stomp out of there, slamming the door behind you. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

Your own clothes are still wearable. The few stains of blood are relatively small and dried, and the vampire already placed you on his bed, so you don’t feel like you’ll do any more damage by sleeping in them. The house is quiet, but you don’t think he’s left it, which begs the question of where he is. And also if he sleeps and if he does, then… where? He never gave you a tour or anything, so you have no idea what the rest of his house looks like. Whatever; you don’t care, anyway.

His sheets smell clean, though, and it doesn’t take you long to pass out, truly exhausted.

When you wake up, you can’t find your phone, and without any other time measuring device, you don’t know what time it is. It appears like the sun rose not too long ago so that narrows your guess a little bit at least.

Sitting up slowly, you take a deep breath. You feel… okay. A bit sore almost, but more energetic than you have in a while. Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily a good thing in your book.

Sighing, you put your feet to the hardwood floor. They carry you with only a little dizziness, and you set your sight on the bedroom door. It opens smoothly, and you peer out, looking for the bathroom the vampire mentioned. There’s a door immediately to your left which you guess must be it, and so you head toward it. 

After successfully finding the bathroom and using it, you decide to continue the search for your phone. Since you thought last night would be your last and therefore arrived by Uber rather than driving, it means that without your phone, you have no way home.

You make your way down some stairs, recognizing the hallway as the one the vampire has led you through what feels like countless times. Last time you remember having your phone was in the kitchen, so that’s where you steer your steps.

As luck would have it, the kitchen is also where the vampire happens to be. Upon your entrance, your eyes immediately fall on the tall man where he stands, leaning back against the counter. Although he surely heard you approaching a long time ago, he only turns his head slowly toward you when you’re well into the room. He’s hard to read; doesn’t offer much.

“Do you know where my phone is?”

The vampire twists his body to look at the counter behind him, sliding something toward you. You take a step closer, inspecting the device when it’s in your hands. Three percent.

“Do you have a charger I can borrow?”

“Yeah,” he answers with a nod and pushes off the counter, leaving the kitchen. You wait, quietly wondering what exactly goes on inside his head. He seems unfazed by the whole ordeal, which doesn’t necessarily surprise you. But what you still don’t quite understand is why he claimed to have changed his mind. Could it be that he just didn’t want to deal with your body? 

The vampire returns with a white charger in his hand, his skin cold against yours when you accept it from him. Finding a fitting outlet near the table, you plug the charger in and sit down, gazing out through the window while you wait for the phone to charge enough for the trip home. The vampire has gone back to leaning wordlessly against the counter, and you ignore him.

Opening your phone, you find that the only unread notification you have is a spam email. Why are you surprised? With a small sigh, you lock the device again, hoping it’ll charge faster if you don’t use it. Forty percent should be enough.

It’s snowing outside, and you watch the big snowflakes fall slowly and silently to the already white ground. Waiting like this gives you time to go over all the things you’ve done wrong in your life.

Next time you unlock your phone, the battery has reached thirty-seven percent. You open the Uber app to see that a car can arrive in ten minutes. You confirm it, noting the time as eleven twenty-three. You’ll wait five more minutes before you start getting ready, which honestly is just putting your shoes and coat on. 

The seconds pass slowly one after the other. You wonder briefly how long it took the vampire to clean because, although you didn’t notice the blood dripping to the floor while it was happening, you understood that there was a lot of it. Must suck for him to have it wasted like that. The question is also why he would waste even more blood by giving you a transfusion? If he went through the pain of acquiring bagged blood, why not just drink that?

At eleven twenty-nine, your phone’s battery is at fifty-two percent. You unplug the charger from the wall, and as you stand, you place it on the table with a quiet ‘thanks.’

“Going home?” the vampire wonders, black eyes watching you. He looks casual, but there’s that hint of softness shining through again. 

You pass him on your way to the front door. “Yeah.”

“Reconsider,” he encourages, and you know he’s not talking about your journey home. 

You roll your eyes. “No.”

“Yes,” he follows. “Whatever’s troubling you doesn’t matter. There’s so much for you to see and do, so many places to visit and people to meet. Your life is so incredibly short, and you won’t have time to see even a fraction of the world as is.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” you say, bending down to put your boots on.

“Have you even been outside of this town?”

Why is he trying to control you? He doesn’t know you; he doesn’t care. It’s not like you’ll magically be fine after his ‘cheer up, pal,’ and ending your life is not a decision you have taken hastily or easily.

“No.”

“Don’t you want to see what’s out there?”

“Of course. But it’s not…” you straighten up to look at him, frustration dripping from your words. “Don’t you see that I’m all alone? I don’t have anybody, no one to experience things with, and much less the money to just up and leave. Sure, maybe I could get a loan and travel through Italy for two weeks, but then what? I’ll be miserable and in debt.”

The vampire tilts his head, looking at you with his black eyes but not saying anything. He just doesn't understand. You put your other foot into your boot and reach for your coat before he can try to persuade you again for whatever reason.

“Whatever,” you sigh, “I’ll be going.”

He doesn’t stop you from opening the door, and he doesn’t follow you when you leave, one boot undone and with your coat held to your chest. Irritation turns to sadness and defeat as you wait for the Uber to arrive, taking the opportunity to actually put your coat on and tie your laces properly. Snow falls around you, and when you're done, you stand there, waiting pathetically by the side of the road in the cold. You’re back at square one.

Despite having slept for countless hours at the vampire’s house, you head straight for your bed the moment you return home. For another few hours, you sleep, and then you spend a few more lying there in the dark, thinking. 

It’s seven p.m. on a Saturday. You’ve wasted a lot of time, months even, waiting for the vampire to get what he wanted and follow through on his part. But that’s over now, so what are you waiting for right now? 

Two and a half hours later, you put your boots back on and throw a lighter jacket over your shoulders, one that allows easier access to your neck.

Still not feeling your best, it takes you fifteen minutes to walk what the vampire did in six, carrying you on his back. You don’t understand him. He acted like he didn’t want you to die, but if he cared about you at all, he would’ve backed out earlier and not waited until his actions brought you within an inch of your life for what, the third time? Was he hoping you’d stay alive so that you’d hopefully continue donating your blood, even if less frequently? 

Although nearing his feeding grounds, you’re hoping not to run into him. He did state that he changed his feeding days to Thursdays, and last week, when you did run into him, it seemed like a coincidence. Besides, this place is your best bet tonight; even the vampire admitted that there were others there last time. Surely, they’re around here somewhere tonight as well. 

Since you assume vampires don’t want unnecessary attention, you stake out near the same club as last week, but this time, you hide in the shadows around a corner. Then, you wait for a victim.

Thirty minutes to midnight, a woman stumbles out through the door, a bouncer holding it open for her. She’s obviously had a bit to drink, and as she clumsily fixes her little cross body bag and sets off along the street, you look around from your hiding spot.

But you don’t see or hear anything; not a dark figure moving nor the sound of footsteps. Still, you follow her, hoping for the best. Wanting to keep your distance, you instead find it hard to keep up with her, which is saying something about your current health.

About two hundred meters from the club, she suddenly slows down, her attention seemingly drawn to something in an alleyway. You weren’t sure exactly how the vampires hunt, but by how the woman begins to slowly drift inside the dark alleyway of her own accord, you guess they do have some kind of pull. Most women, even when slightly drunk, typically try not to do… that.

You quicken your steps as much as possible without breaking into a sprint. Not only do you want to speak to a vampire; if you can take that woman’s place and leave her unscathed, it’s an added bonus. Before you’ve caught up, the woman slowly and quietly disappears, and when you turn the corner with your phone in hand and flashlight turned on, you spot a man holding her to his body. 

Evidently hearing you approaching, the man has placed them against the wall, halfway obscured by a dumpster and hoping you’d walk past them, which you would have if you weren’t so focused on the woman and your mission.

The man squints in the light, and you very clearly discern long fangs. You take another step into the alleyway, but what you didn’t expect was to be grabbed from another direction. 

Gasping, you feel strong arms hold your back against someone’s chest, effortlessly keeping you immobile. 

“What can we offer? Though you smell like vampire already?” The man who holds you says, sounding surprised, and your phone is taken from your hand and the flashlight turned off. 

Obviously, they assume you’re one of the freaky ones looking for vampires because any normal person would run. Your reason for wanting to find one is different, though. 

“I have a proposition,” you stutter, not too scared but uncomfortable with how the man noses at your neck. Despite knowing that if the vampire bites, it’ll most likely be your neck, you can’t help trying to pull away. It’s just another bodily reaction. 

Your words intrigue him, and he moves, creating just a tad bit more space between your bodies and looking down at you with a curious smirk.

“A proposition, you say?”

“You can have my blood—all of it—if you take it right here and now.”

“What’s the catch?” he asks, raising an eyebrow much like a certain vampire you know. “What’s in it for you?”

“There is no catch. I want to die.”

The other vampire, curiously listening to your conversation, whispers something in the other woman’s ear, and lets her go. She stumbles away from him and then casually leaves the alleyway, turning the corner calmly as if nothing happened. 

You meet the vampire’s puzzled yet curious eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with my blood if you think I’m trying to trick you into something. Except that it’s apparently B positive which I understand is not that desirable, but—”

“You’re Jeon’s human?”

“Uh—what? Who?” you ask, confused but slowly putting two and two together.

“Fuck, should we?” the other vampire questions quietly.

“Jeon,” the closest one to you starts, “is the vampire you smell of. He’s been very persistent no one touches his human.”

“Yeah. Can’t blame him. If I was lucky enough to have someone offer to be a walking blood bag, I wouldn’t let them outside at all.”

“I’m not… I’m not anyone’s, and I’m not a walking blood bag,” you explain, feeling belittled. “He made me a promise that he broke. He was going to help me die in exchange for my blood, but he just used me to collect blood, and then he didn’t deliver.”

The two vampires look at each other, and you feel like they didn’t really pay attention to anything you just said.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not sure I wanna get on his bad side.”

“But he’s too arrogant,” the first one complains. “If I want something, why should he prevent me from getting it? He doesn’t own the supply here. I’m a thousand years old; I shouldn’t need to ask for permission.”

“Dude’s like three thousand years old, though? You don’t need to ask permission; you can literally choose anyone. Except this one, for some reason. I don’t think I would if I were you.”

“Our agreement is over,” you try to enter the conversation the two vampires are holding over your head.

“Well,” the one holding your arms peers down at you, “He said that under no circumstances is anyone allowed to touch you.”

You scoff, growing irritated again, “Okay, well, are there any vampires around that aren’t such wimps? If I can’t find anyone to just snap my neck, I’m going to the train tracks and then my blood will be wasted.”

That’s a lie, of course. There’s a reason you picked death by vampire; you’re too scared to do it any other way, and no matter how much you want to die, you can’t subject anyone else—like a poor train driver—to it. Vampires are cold and heartless. They don’t care.

“Hold on. Wait,” the vampire holds you tighter when you haphazardly try to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Look,” he says to the other, “He can’t tell us what to do. Besides, if he gets angry, we can just say that she said their agreement was over, and we did her a favor out of the goodness of our hearts.”

“You don’t have a heart; you just want to annoy him.”

The vampire grins. At first, it’s a boyish smile directed at his friend, but when he slowly tilts his head down to look at you, it turns almost sinister. “I think I’m gonna do it.”

You gulp. No matter how much this is what you want, it does scare you. Mostly because you’re afraid it will be painful.

“Is there a way you can kill me first? I don’t want it to hurt.”

The smiling vampire shakes his head. 

“No.”

You thought death was supposed to be a void. A void of darkness, devoid of physical matter, emotions, and thoughts. But it hurts. It hurts so much. 

Then, a void does take over.

Jeongguk knew you’d try again. If he wouldn’t kill you, you were going to find someone who would. And despite hoping that you would’ve changed your mind, he was unfortunately right. He spent an hour roaming the dark streets around the town’s attempt at a nightlife, but he didn’t come across you. Not until he visits the same place where you first found him, a place he wouldn’t take as your first choice since you ran into him there a week earlier. 

He’s spent hours and hours these last weeks with you on his mind; the little human who wants to die so badly. It’s just something about you and your willingness to die that doesn’t sit right with him, and you won’t leave his thoughts. It’s not his business, he told himself as he saw you curled up and unconscious in your car. Who is he to tell someone what they should do with their life? If anything, respecting your wishes and consuming freely donated blood is easier and more ethical than taking it from plastered people who aren’t really sure what’s going on, right?

The scenes replaying the most in his head are more recent. It’s the way you suggested he kill and butcher your body, saying no one would look for you anyway, and how you called for him, unknowing that your blood was dripping to the floor but still trying your hardest to squeeze that ball for him. Your fingers were barely moving, but you tried since he wanted that blood. 

He’s not entirely sure what he’s doing, trying to convince you to live, but he guesses that he simply needs to know that you experienced some good things in life too. He can’t let you end it this way, as a lifeless body, discarded somewhere where no one will find you.

Anger, frustration, and an odd feeling of helplessness flood him as he takes in the sight of the vampire in the process of draining you dry. He rushes into the dark alleyway, the vampire looking up from your neck just as Jeongguk strikes. There’s not much of a fight after that. The first vampire stumbles backward, and Jeongguk grabs your lifeless body from him as the second vampire approaches, eyes wide and with his hands raised shoulder height.

“Easy, man.”

“I fucking told you to leave her alone.”

The dazed vampire grumbles something, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay him any attention. He places your body down on the snow-covered ground and looks at your pale face while searching for a pulse right under your jaw. 

“She wanted to die.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jeongguk growls. “How much did you take?”

There is no pulse.

“At least three fourths. Possibly more.”

Jeongguk shuts his eyes. There’s no coming back from that.

You’ve lost and regained consciousness due to blood loss one too many times by now, but this time, it really feels different. Opening your eyes, the sunlight filling the room irritates your eyes, forcing you to squint for a few seconds. 

Without moving, you focus on something. The vampire. Jeon, was it? You watch as he rummages through his closet, practically soundlessly, taking out a few items and looking them over before settling on what looks like two black shirts, one long-sleeve and one short-sleeve. Then he digs out a pair of shorts and another pair of sweatpants. 

You’re not used to seeing him in direct sunlight, but now, the rays filtering through the half-opened blinds paint him in a new light, and you let your eyes linger on his arms as he folds the clothes. The green t-shirt he wears is doing a great job at highlighting his veiny, muscular forearms as they work. Light and shadows play along those very defined muscles, accentuating them further.

Your first impression of him was a cold one, one that slowly warmed a little over time both physically and mentally. But in this light? Without even touching him, he looks… warmer to you. Inviting, almost like when he wore that black hoodie. 

You sigh quietly and pull the blanket that’s thrown over you closer. The vampire hears and turns around, placing the clothes at the foot of his large bed.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

You take a moment to consider his question. Though you’ve certainly felt better in a lot of ways, you don’t feel the way you’ve come to associate with severe blood loss. 

“Cold. And tired, but in a weird way.”

Weird is probably the best way to describe how you’re feeling in general. You feel light, but not weak. Tired, but not sleepy. 

He nods understandingly, “It’ll pass.”

You catch his gaze, holding it for a quiet moment. “You changed me, didn’t you?”

It’s the only explanation you can come up with. That vampire was hungry, and you remember slowly losing control in his grasp, both over your body and consciousness. With how many near-death experiences your body has endured in the last weeks—all blood loss related—there just wasn’t any chance you’d survive another draining.

“Yeah.” He looks away, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I couldn’t…”

You think you understand well enough what he’s trying to say, although you’re not too sure of his reasons or how to feel about it. He couldn’t let you die. In a way, you’re disappointed because you were finally getting what you wanted, and dying has proved itself to be surprisingly difficult for you. 

But you’re not angry; not like you were after the vampire saved you the first time. He mentioned once that not even vampires are immortal, so at least you know that you’re not doomed to an eternal life in suffering; you can always try again if you want. However, you’d be back at square one when it comes to options, but you don’t really feel the urgency anymore. At least not at the moment.

He turns his head toward you, meeting your eyes with his deep, dark ones. “Let me show the world to you.”

Surprised to say the least, you mumble a quiet “What?”

He angles his body further toward you, and you see that despite the softer look on his face, he’s certain. “I want to show you everything the world has to offer. All the good things; the magical places and people.”

Not sure what to say, you just stare at him.

“Vampires are not immortal,” he continues. “If you really don’t want this, I’ll help you die. I promised. But please, think about it. No catch, no expectations.”

“But why… Why would you want that?” 

You’ve been alone for so long, unable to keep people around and interested, so why would this being be?

“Because I found that I really didn’t enjoy draining you of your life, especially when you were already so low to begin with. I want you to get the chance to experience the good things life has to offer, and I can’t help but want to be around when you do.”

“You don’t know me though.”

“I kinda want to,” he says, standing up with the cheekiest smile you’ve ever seen on him. “Think about it, okay? I’m not expecting anything from you other than that you consider.”

Still very much processing his words, you feel a cold shiver wreck your body, something the vampire notices.

“I’ll get you another blanket. Your body is still in the process of changing, and with that comes a decrease in temperature. It’s normal to feel cold.”

He’s about to leave when you call for him.

“Wait. What… What's your name? Your given name?”

He stops, and he smiles again. “Jeongguk. And I know yours already; it was on your door.”

You sleep for a little while longer, but when you start to feel better, you also start to think. You’ve been so certain for so long, and you still are—you think—but… either way, you’d like some answers; a clearer view of the whole picture.

“Jeongguk?” you call, unsure how loud you need to be. It feels strange to use a name for the vampire.

It doesn’t take long before the door opens. “Yeah?”

“I have some… questions.”

He nods, stepping into the darkness that is his bedroom and closing the door behind him. 

“Light sensitive?” he nods toward the window, where you’ve pulled the curtains closed over the blinds.

“Yeah… Is that normal?”

“It is. So is feeling sensitive to sound, touch, smell; basically all the senses. But it will pass pretty quickly.”

“Okay. Well, can you… tell me everything about being a vampire? I didn’t think you slept, but you do? Or why do I still sleep?”

He rounds the bed to sit next to you, and you feel it sink as he gets comfortable. Slowly, you turn to face him, watching him lean back against the headboard.

“So, basically, we can do all the things humans do. For instance, you’re still programmed to breathe, but it’s more of a habit and a way to smell than a means of survival.”

While he speaks, you try it. It’s strange, holding your breath and not feeling that strong, strong urge to take in air after a while.

“You can eat human food, but it’s not what sustains you, so most vampires don’t. It gets kinda boring after a while; you’ll see what I mean. Most also don’t sleep as they consider it a waste of time, but you can if you want to. I do pretty regularly. I find it… peaceful, and when you get older, it can be nice, getting a break between days.”

Hearing him talk so casually and almost… softly has you smiling slightly, unable to help it. So he had been sleeping when you knocked on the door, and his hair was all messy, and he looked so cuddly? You don’t know why, but you like that thought.

“You can exist in sunlight, you can consume garlic. Mirrors work for us as well. We don’t age like humans, but we can die if we’re pierced through the heart by something wooden—”

“—You mean staked?”

He looks at your wide, amused eyes and rolls his. “Yeah. Staked. Anyway, you’ll notice that your senses are heightened, and you’ll become stronger too. Not stronger than me, though,” he grins. “As for the blood, you can survive on any.”

“Any?”

What does he mean by that? Human and animal?

“Human, animal, vampire,” he says, the last one surprising you.

You blink, taken aback. “Vampires drink from other vampires?”

“We can. It’s not as common as feeding on humans as it’s mostly… a pretty intimate thing to do.”

“Oh, okay.” 

Thinking about it, you guess you can see why. Having someone so close, feeding on you without the power imbalance of prey versus predator that feeding on humans entails, must feel… intimate. More of a give and take. 

“You’ll need to feed in about a day or two, so you can choose. I have more human blood than just yours as it might be weird to drink your own blood, and I can get animal blood if that feels easier. Or… if you want to, you can drink from me.”

You look at him questioningly. “Didn’t you just say that it’s an intimate thing?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but if it would make for an easier transition for you, I don’t mind. I’ve taken a lot of blood from you, after all.”

“Okay,” you nod, briefly biting your lip. “I’ll think about it. About all of… this.”

Is death the thing you wanted above all else, or was it to get out of the life you were living? Now that your old life is, in a way, over, you’re not sure. Regardless, there are other worries still plaguing you. You look—almost stare—at his pretty face. 

“What?”

You bite your lip nervously again. “What if you change your mind? I’m assuming this was quite a rushed decision on your part. What if I don’t live up to your expectations? I barely knew how to navigate this world as a human, there’s no way I could… manage on my own as… as a vampire.”

Say you decide to give it a shot; what do you do if he grows tired of you?

“Changing someone is not something we take lightly. We don’t…” he looks around, seemingly searching for the right words. “We don’t change anyone if we’re not prepared to guide them, at least through the first years. Usually, vampires only end up turning their romantic partners, so for most, it means staying together for life. Regardless, it’s a big decision.”

Noticing your wide eyes, Jeongguk smiles and chuckles. “I’m not saying you have to hang around me for the rest of your life, and I won’t ask you to play my wife or anything, but I won’t abandon you.”

It’s surprising enough to hear that vampires not only regularly fall in love with humans but take changing someone so seriously. But you’re even more surprised to hear him use the word ‘wife.’

“Your wife?” you ask, truly bewildered that word was even in his thoughts. “You said vampirism doesn't make you much prettier?”

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “It doesn’t. But you didn’t need to become prettier anyway.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m telling the truth? Don’t you remember what I told you when I carried you home that night?”

‘You’re a pretty girl, you know?’

Of course you remember, but it doesn’t mean it was true.

You roll your eyes. “You were feeling bad for me.”

“Hm,” Jeongguk looks away, thinking. “Okay, do you remember the very first thing I said to you?”

“That you weren’t going to turn me?”

“For sex, yeah. But I said I’d still fuck you.”

The smile he gives you reminds you more of the vampire that took your blood once every fortnight than the one who saved you. You don’t know what to say, and he seems to realize that, his smile turning softer.

“Like I said, I would’ve fucked you because you were pretty even as a human. Also, about luring said humans in? You will not have a problem with that if that’s something you’re interested in. I kinda want to see you do that, actually,” he grins, sending a shiver down your spine. “Hot.”

Jeongguk is sitting spread out on the rented apartment’s low couch, reading the back of a bottle of red wine when you pass him. It’s hot—a lot warmer than what you’re used to from your little hometown—and you sigh as you open the door to the balconet wider and fresh air starts to play with your dress. The weather doesn’t affect you like it used to, but some aspects are still more enjoyable than others. 

“I think I like Rome,” you place your hands on the railing, looking down at the scene two stories below you. It’s just after ten p.m., and people are dining outside the restaurant below you, their happy chatter accompanied by the romantic sound of street musicians. The air is humid, and besides the moonlight, the street is mainly illuminated by lights from the restaurant and surrounding shops.

You hear Jeongguk put the bottle down on the glass coffee table and stand up, something your human ears wouldn’t have picked up.

“We can stay longer if you want,” he offers quietly from right behind you.

Turning around, you let your gaze travel over his white dress shirt, held together by two single buttons—the rest lazily unbuttoned—and exposing most of his drool-worthy chest. He smirks, looking down at you, and you’re hit by how he hasn’t changed that much since you first met him in that alley. You’ve just gotten to see more sides of him.

You hold your breath, carefully reaching your hand out to pinch the fabric of his shirt between your thumb and index finger, pulling a little on it and nodding.

“Then we’ll stay,” he smiles, slowly stepping back and taking your hand softly in his. His skin feels warm against yours, and it’s almost like some sort of electric current courses through you. You grin as he pulls you toward him, moving to the slow and sensual music drifting up from outside.

Jeongguk lifts your hand above your head and twirls you. It makes you smile even wider, and you decide to place your arms loosely around his neck. He doesn’t object, just looks down at you, still smiling. 

One thing you'll never get used to is how handsome he is. Soft, black hair parted across his forehead, dark eyebrows and eyes, and a dimple that pops out when he smiles. One day, you’ll kiss his nose, you promise yourself. He looks so carefree, peering down at you like nothing else really matters; a mindset not too difficult to follow with him.

“How come everything is so… easy?”

He tilts his head, trying to make sense of your words as he places his hands on your waist. “Well… do you feel cared for?”

You think about it. All the new people—vampires—you’ve met so far are very funny and kind. They see you, and they listen to you. Especially Jeongguk’s friends, and even more so, Jeongguk. He’s easy to be around, and he’s been incredibly sweet to you, understanding that you’re going through a big change and that your previous life wasn’t all that great.

So you nod.

“Do you have anything that worries you?” He continues. “A looming anxiety regarding something?”

“No.” Turns out that Jeongguk and all his friends are filthy rich and also very generous, which means that you have no rent to pay, no stuff to buy, or bills to pay. Nor do you have people to impress or time-sensitive achievements to stress over.

Jeongguk’s smile turns extra cheeky. “Do you perhaps… also care a little bit for someone?”

You’d blush if that was something you could do. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

He chuckles before he turns a little more serious. “Jokes aside, there could be many reasons. Like I said, not feeling lonely or overly anxious surely helps a lot, but also stuff like… the change of scenery and seasons. But also…”

“Also…?”

He looks at you with a searching gaze, as if he’s trying to figure something out. “Tell me, did you ever see someone about how you felt?”

You shake your head.

“So you never got a diagnosis or medication?”

“No.”

“Then, maybe… you weren’t ‘only’ sad, and vampirism corrected some chemical imbalance in your brain. It could also explain why things are easier.”

Maybe. You thought that your mother dying was the catalyst for your sadness, and without seeing the point of the world, you got “weirder,” and the few people in your life withdrew. Then it was just you, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t connect with people anymore. But maybe, like he said, it wasn’t ‘only’ feelings. A small part of you wishes you would’ve tried to get help, but a bigger part—although sad for the years you spent suffering—thinks this ending might be better.

He continues to sway your bodies, and you rest your head against his chest. When you left with him three months ago, one month after he changed you, you weren’t entirely certain where things would lead, because despite definitely feeling attracted to him, you didn’t really know him. But as the days pass, you don’t regret it, and you’re pretty sure you’re more than halfway to head over heels. You can’t deny that he gives you butterflies.

Sighing, you catch the scent of his naked skin against your cheek, reminded of something.

“You smell good. I remember thinking that you didn’t smell like anything?”

He laughs as you move your face slowly over his chest and up to his neck, smelling him.

“Do I?”

“Yeah,” you say, breathing him in and closing your eyes. There’s the same notes of laundry detergent, soap, and cologne, but also something unique to him. He doesn’t smell like a human, but… almost. It draws you in, that’s for certain.

“Are you hungry?” he wonders quietly. 

“Not sure,” you answer honestly. It’s turned out to be harder to tell than you imagined.

“Well, if you want it… go for it.”

“Like this?” you ask, pushing on his chest with a smile. He lets you walk him slowly back toward the couch, and when the back of his knees hit the edge, he sinks down onto it. 

“Mhm,” he hums happily.

High on the vampire equivalent of adrenaline, you straddle his lap, only to be caught off guard by his scent again. “No, but really, you smell so good.”

He chuckles. “Vampires who are more… compatible tend to smell good to each other.”

His revelation has you sitting back, curious but almost a little worried. Despite the details of your relationship being... a bit unclear—mostly due to his unwillingness to pressure you, you think—you can't help but want him to like you. “Does that mean that I smell good to you as well then? I mean, I remember that you didn’t like my blood?”

“You smell incredible to me. Almost addictive,” he reveals quietly, softly, resting his hands on your thighs, and you think your human heart would’ve raced. “And about your blood… I lied.”

Though grinning happily, there’s at least a trace of regret in his eyes.

“You lied? About not liking my blood?”

“Yeah. B is actually one of the more highly regarded blood types. I’m also B, but negative.”

You shake your head at him before carefully leaning in. With a soft touch of your lips, you locate the pulsating artery in his neck, gently angling his head away with your hands. Then, as you’ve done regularly for the last months, you pierce his skin with your fangs.

“I’m kinda surprised you still believed I didn’t like your blood,” he continues, though it sounds a little strained, like he’s trying to keep still. “If I didn’t like your blood, I wouldn’t have needed to change my feeding days to the day before you came. Nor would I have tried to attack you.”

You listen to his words, but you’ll have to process them better later because his blood is pretty much the only thing on your mind. His blood and his body. It took you a few times to get over the mental association with blood and drinking it, but now, it’s not something bad. It tastes and feels good, energizing you in a way food just doesn’t anymore. And it’s a chance to bond, making you feel closer to him. 

He likes it too, if his body language is anything to go by. You know he tries to stay still to give you the best chance to get what you need without distractions, but the little… almost purring sound that reverberates from somewhere deep in his chest is hard to miss. As is the way his hips shift almost unnoticeably, but you haven’t spoken about that.

Being smaller and recently changed, you don’t require nearly as much blood as he does, and as soon as you feel the urge filled, you run your tongue over the wound to close it, just like he’s taught you to.

“Good?” he asks when you pull back, and you nod, licking your lips. 

You keep your eyes on his skin, knowing that it only takes a second for the wound to heal but up to two weeks for the scar from another vampire's teeth to fade to nothing. 

“All of the vampires we’ve met, they’ve looked so… amused when they understand I drink from you. Why is that? I get that it’s ‘intimate’ but they were pretty much all couples, weren’t they? Not that we’re… you know…”

You haven’t spoken about that, either, really.

It confused you, more so since you last week stumbled across a local couple smiling very cheekily when they saw the scar on Jeongguk’s neck that he’d made absolutely no effort to conceal.

He laughs. “It’s because only I have marks.”

You look puzzled. Yeah, sure, but you don’t understand why that would be amusing.

He looks at your confused face and continues. “The fact that you drink from me but not I from you usually means that I’ve submitted to you. That I belong to you. Which is not very common when I’m so much older than you. It’s usually the other way around if anything.”

“Oh,” you exclaim quietly, lifting your hand to your neck. “Should I…? Do you… want to feed from me? Cause I’m not sure that I…”

You don’t like the idea of losing blood. You know that Jeongguk has said that as a vampire, you quite literally can’t run out, but you don’t like it. Thinking about someone biting your neck has images from the night you died flashing before your eyes. You don’t remember much,  but you remember being scared and how much it hurt. Surely, it would be different to let him bite you, but… you don’t know. You can’t help but feel like maybe you should? Don’t you kind of owe it to him?

“I want to, of course I do, but not that badly. I get that it’s an uncomfortable concept for you, so that’s why I haven’t brought it up. If you ever feel comfortable enough, we can try, because it’s very hot, but otherwise, it doesn’t matter.”

You lower your hand, smiling carefully down at him. He runs his hands over your thighs softly.

“So, you’re really just… ancient?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Yeah? You’re literally older than Jesus?”

He rolls his eyes, still smiling.

“Jokes aside, doesn’t it get boring? You were kinda grumpy when I first met you.”

“Truth be told, it does. I’ve seen everything, mostly even many times over. But getting to see everything with you is like getting to experience it for the first time all over again.”

“That’s kinda… cheesy,” you chuckle, but you can’t deny that it makes you feel warm inside. “Yuqi said you probably needed a change of scenery as well.”

“So what if it’s cheesy? It’s true," he grins, and it's your turn to roll your eyes. "And, yeah, she might’ve been right. I guess vampires get lonely too sometimes.”

Although he's still smiling, you can't help but hurt a little, thinking about him feeling lonely too.

“So then, what’s next?" you ask. "When do we leave for Portugal?”

“Depends on when you want to. I’ll just tell Taehyung we’ll meet them later. As for now, you know Fontana di Trevi?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna take a dip?”

“What? Isn’t it pretty shallow? And probably… illegal?”

“What are they gonna do? Stop us?” He smiles a wide, happy smile, his white fangs almost glimmering in the romantically dimmed light.

<previous | next> author's note: i hope you liked it!! please reblog if you did <3<3<3

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️

🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

With a new month approaching, new paradigm shifts and personal transformations are unfolding in your life. Summer is about to heat up—we’re stepping into brighter, longer, and sunnier days, embracing the beauty, boldness, and vibrancy that the season brings.

We’re also entering the end of the school year for many. People are graduating, finishing chapters, and transitioning into new ones. It’s the season of vacations, celebrations, and spending quality time doing what you love. The collective energy is rising—and with that, a deeper question emerges:

What new shifts are arriving in your life?

What cycle are you stepping into?

What is unfolding for your soul in this next phase?

Today, we’re going to explore that. You’ll be guided to pick a pile, and through that, you’ll receive a message about your next life cycle—what’s happening beneath the surface, what themes are emerging, and how your soul is evolving.

This is more than just a reading—this is a soul progression, a glimpse into your spiritual growth and personal evolution. These messages are meant to help you center yourself, understand the energetic patterns at play, and ground into the journey ahead.

So take a moment.

Breathe deeply.

Relax your body.

Tune into your essence.

Then, choose the image that calls to your spirit—whichever one feels aligned with your identity, your frequency, your soul’s truth.

Once you’ve chosen, scroll down and receive your reading.

Let it speak to you. Let it guide you.

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

Pile 1

For many of you, blessings are arriving—and not just ones you’ll feel… but ones you’ll see.

Your next cycle is incredibly opportunistic. It carries material abundance, steady growth, clarity, and tangible fulfillment. You are entering a season where you won’t just sense the shift—you’ll witness it. In your finances. In your foundation. In the way life meets you where you are.

✨ This is a time of wish fulfillment.

Not just dreams, but manifestation. You’re learning that not every anxious pull or gut-feeling needs immediate action. You’re learning to slow down, to trust, and to listen—without always needing to jump.

You’re approaching life with more emotional maturity, grounding, and wisdom. You no longer feel the need to chase relentlessly. You’re moving with intentionality, not urgency. There’s a quiet confidence settling in your bones now.

You’re becoming more practical—not because your dreams have shrunk, but because your approach has evolved. You’re now asking:

➤ What’s sustainable?

➤ What’s aligned?

➤ What can I truly handle and nurture well?

You’re releasing the weight of over-obligation. You’re embracing peace over pressure.

In this new chapter, you’ll find yourself:

• Spending meaningful, cozy time with loved ones—your children, partner, close friends, or family.

• Reconnecting with joy through human connection.

• Feeling emotionally filled through love, laughter, and shared moments.

• Inspired to pursue your goals simply by being surrounded by warmth.

And yes—abundance is coming.

➤ Job offers

➤ Financial breakthroughs

➤ Aligned opportunities

➤ New doors you didn’t expect to open, now opening easily

You are picking up the pace again—but this time, it’s steady and supportive. Not chaotic. Not rushed. It’s flow, not force.

You’re cooperating with the Universe now, rather than trying to overpower its rhythm. And because of this, your blessings will not only come to you, they will come through you.

This new cycle holds:

• Security

• Stability

• Assurance

• Cozy contentment

• Love

• Gentleness

• Divine timing

🌿 I’m so happy for you.

You’ve been through so much. You deserve this ease, this magic, this softness. And you’re ready for it.

Take the signs seriously. Trust the pace. Anchor in the symptoms of peace.

Remember: you are being guided.

Your new season has already begun.

Pile 2

For many of you, this next cycle will be destabilizing—a period where you’re questioning your sense of stability and security, while simultaneously being called to implement self-care in the midst of chaos.

It feels like you’re standing at a crossroads. You’re resisting your own growth, not because you don’t want to evolve, but because you don’t know where to start. There’s uncertainty. Insecurity. Self-doubt. Especially around manifesting and materializing your dreams into reality.

Some of you may be hesitating to begin—or you start, only to fall off quickly. The follow-through isn’t fully there, and that’s not because you lack discipline, but because you’re emotionally overwhelmed. I sense you’ve been giving so much to others—over-functioning, over-giving, trying to be everything to everyone—that your own life has been neglected.

There’s a lack of balance. You’re either so focused on yourself that your external life is falling apart, or you’re so consumed by your external obligations that your inner world is drained. Either way, your energy is scattered.

There’s a pattern of starting things and not finishing them…

Of trying to move forward while still holding onto the past…

Of wanting change but still clinging to outdated beliefs and ways of doing things.

And that internal tug-of-war is keeping you stuck in the in-between.

This new cycle may bring:

• Financial instability

• Household or family tensions

• Budgeting difficulties

• Emotional and mental exhaustion

But here’s the deeper truth: you are in a transitional stage. You are dissolving old paradigms and beginning to open yourself to new ones. You’re not fully in the old, nor fully in the new. You’re navigating the tender middle.

There will be loss—but also profound gain.

You will begin to understand what you’ve lost, and how to rebuild it from a place of authenticity and self-honor.

This cycle will teach you:

• The necessity of self-care

• The beauty of grounding and stabilizing yourself

• That you are not meant to do everything

• That it’s okay to slow down and focus on what’s truly sustainable

You’re going to learn more about yourself than you have in a long time. But the lessons won’t come gently—they will come through pressure, through the discomfort of change, through the ache of letting go.

And yet, it’s all here to shape you.

✨ I’m sending you deep well wishes.

Please take time to care for yourself—every single week. Nourish your body. Nourish your emotions. Nourish your mind. Nourish your spirit.

You deserve a beautiful life 🌹❣️🌹❣️🌹

And it will come—with patience, presence, and steady effort.

Pile 3

🦂For many of you, you’re coming into your own. This is the beginning of a beautiful new cycle in your life. The old cycle is finally closing, and you’re stepping into a new realm—one that offers more peace, clarity, and self-understanding. 🦂

In this new phase, your emotional state will become much more balanced. Instead of feeling scattered, overwhelmed, or caught in emotional extremes—exploding one moment, retreating the next—you’ll find a calm within yourself. The emotional waters are no longer stormy. The tides have softened. You’re gaining a sense of internal stillness.

This is a period of building emotional intelligence. You’re becoming more introspective and discerning—not only about your own emotions but also about the intentions of others. You no longer want to misunderstand people, and more importantly, you no longer want to misunderstand yourself.

You’re developing a sharp awareness, almost like an emotional investigator—attuned to subtle cues, deeply intuitive, and incredibly self-protective. You’re no longer letting just anyone into your space. You’re learning how to filter people out. Your boundaries are sacred, and you’re honoring them.

• Sharper awareness

• More emotional intelligence

• Deeper perception of others

• More intentional

At the same time, you may not be as social in this new cycle. You’re in a reflective space—trying to pick up the pieces, figure out what you want, and determine which direction is right for you. You’re embracing quality over quantity, especially when it comes to relationships, opportunities, and time. You’re no longer allowing others to override your decision-making.

You’re pacing yourself. You’re being patient. Some of you are preparing to make major life decisions, and that requires time, space, and silence to reflect. And that’s exactly what this cycle is gifting you: the ability to pause, to breathe, to choose with intention.

You’re also completing something significant. A karmic loop or long-held chapter is closing. You’ve transformed through it, and now you can finally say: I’m done. I’ve outgrown that version of myself.

🎉CONGRATULATIONS 🎉

🩷With that closure comes new beauty. 🩷

You’re no longer in the energy of chasing, controlling, or dominating. There’s a softening here—a return to trust. You’re beginning to believe that things will come to you in due time, that you don’t have to force your path. There’s less anxiety about what you want, and more calm, patient trust in how it will unfold.

You’ll likely spend more time in your mind this cycle—not in a chaotic way, but in contemplation. You’re making sure you’re aligned before you leap forward. You’re moving at a pace that truly works for you, and you’re reclaiming balance after a time of over-exertion.

Where you used to burn out—charging ahead too fast, slamming the brakes, then revving forward again—you’re now slowing down. You’re learning to move with grace, not force.

You’re stepping out of the obsessive loop of constant goal-setting or relentless self-improvement. You’re remembering the value of emotional presence, connection, and joy. You’re nurturing your relationships, your friendships, and the people around you—not just your aspirations.

You’re taking a step back… and you’re calming down.

And in that stillness, you’re becoming powerful in a new, steady, grounded way.

Pile 4

For many of you, this new cycle is bringing deep clarity—cutting through confusion, illusions, and the weight of unspoken truths. Where things once felt murky or misunderstood, clarity is now rising to the surface. This is a period of reclaiming your vision, your truth, and your understanding of the path ahead.

There will be multiple opportunities to materialize and manifest, especially in the realm of the physical. Financial blessings are coming. Career growth is likely. Stability, achievement, and tangible gain are within reach. But let me be honest: while these blessings are very real, they may not feel as satisfying as you imagined they would.

That’s because this cycle is also pulling you inward.

There’s a push and pull within you—between what you’re receiving and how you feel about it. Opportunities will appear clearly: a new job, a promotion, a financial breakthrough, or a long-awaited blessing finally arriving. And yet, emotionally, you might feel… disconnected from it.

Why? Because you’re in a fog. A fog of self-doubt, internal conflict, or even spiritual exhaustion. You’re trying to find your way out of this fog, but your emotional reality doesn’t yet match the physical gains you’re receiving. You may not trust that these blessings are truly yours. You might question whether you’re worthy of them.

This resistance may come from deep-seated beliefs—perhaps rooted in religious conditioning, shame, past failure, or a long-standing narrative that joy must be earned through suffering. You may be carrying the weight of feeling undeserving, and that belief is affecting your ability to receive.

In this cycle you’ll:

• Experience resistance to growth

• Self-doubt and questioning

• Existential crisis

• Self-esteem issues

• Survival and scarcity mindset

In this cycle, isolation may feel like the only safe route. You might pull away from others—not out of malice, but from overwhelm or a deep distrust of goodness. There’s a protective mechanism rising: “If I do everything alone, no one can disappoint me. If I don’t trust anything good, I won’t be hurt when it disappears.”

But this coping strategy will likely create bitterness. It will weigh you down. And instead of bringing freedom, doing it all alone may rob you of joy. You may feel resentful, even while succeeding, because you’re carrying so much on your own shoulders.

This resistance to accepting help—from the universe or from other people—is not strength, it’s fear. You are worthy of support, of teamwork, of ease. And part of your journey in this cycle is learning to soften into that truth.

There is also a stubbornness that may rise—a desire to prove yourself to others, or even to yourself, by doing it all alone. But the truth is, you don’t have to. And the longer you resist interdependence, the longer you’ll delay the deeper joy and healing you’re seeking.

In this cycle, your self-doubt is louder than your faith. Your trust in others is fragile. And your control is a mask for deeper pain—pain from betrayal, disappointment, mistrust. Pain that has hardened into the belief that only you can protect yourself, and that even blessings must be handled with suspicion.

This control, however, is costing you your peace. It’s stealing your joy. You might appear to be “handling it all,” but internally, you’re weighed down. Exhausted. Unfulfilled. And sometimes, disillusioned by the very opportunities you once prayed for.

You must ask yourself:

• Why am I not allowing myself to feel joy?

• Why am I so quick to believe this isn’t real, or that it won’t last?

• What do I gain by resisting softness, cooperation, and trust?

In this new chapter, the universe will lovingly, but firmly, reflect you back to yourself. The lessons won’t be about what others did wrong—but about how you’ve unconsciously pushed things away: love, blessings, connection, ease. You’ll be called to examine your mindset and how it shapes your life.

This is a cycle of healing from within. You’re learning how your thoughts and beliefs shape your reality—not just what you attract, but how you receive, feel, and hold it.

And slowly, gently, you’ll begin to see: it was never about the job, the opportunity, or the external gain. It was about reclaiming your worth, rebuilding your faith, and remembering that you deserve to feel good—not just perform well.

🩷✨Let this be the season you meet yourself with honesty, grace, and compassion. You are not broken. You are protecting yourself the only way you knew how. But now, it’s time to let good in—again. 🩷✨

Pile 5

🦂🦂For many of you, this next cycle of your life marks a period of deep change, inner realization, and a pivotal transformation. It shifts your focus from being externally driven to becoming deeply internal, where your soul begins seeking meaning over momentum. 🦂🦂

In the past, you may have been heavily focused on success—achieving goals, excelling at work, maintaining social connections, pursuing romance, or striving for visibility. But many of those pursuits began to wear you down. They dimmed your inner light, left you overwhelmed, and placed you in a cycle of over-functioning—giving too much, doing too much, and ultimately, living in a way that was unsustainable.

As a result, your confidence may have waned. Feelings of self-doubt, pessimism, and emotional exhaustion may have taken root, hijacking your nervous system and throwing you into survival mode. And yet, despite the fatigue, you may still find yourself chasing those same external validations—popularity, achievement, love, recognition, or financial gain.

But here’s the truth: it’s not working. And rather than slow down, part of you wants to press harder—to chase faster, push further, grasp tighter. This cycle, however, will bring you face-to-face with burnout. The constant striving for something that may not even be meant for you is depleting your energy and driving you toward collapse.

In this new chapter of your life, you may go through a period of exhaustion and disillusionment—where everything you once thought mattered begins to feel hollow. You’ll recognize that you’ve been acting from a place of fear and longing, trying to feel “enough” by achieving more. But chasing that high, over and over, is only creating deeper emptiness.

This cycle will bring:

• Realization of where you suffer

• Reflection on your melancholy, sadness, or depression

• A path to self exploration

• Revising your goals

• Learning to pace yourself

And so, a shift begins.

You may still look outward at first, trying different paths, altering your narrative, experimenting with change. But ultimately, this cycle is calling you inward. It’s inviting you to stop searching for yourself in the eyes of others and instead begin reclaiming your sense of self.

Once you begin that inward journey—through reflection, introspection, journaling, and emotional awareness—you’ll start to see the truth of how you feel. You’ll recognize that beneath all the effort and the chase lies a deep unhappiness. And that moment of honesty will be your breakthrough.

It will initiate a journey of healing and self-reclamation—where you rediscover yourself and fall in love with who you truly are, not who you’ve tried to be for the world.

This is a cycle of self-discovery. A time to question what you thought mattered, what you believed success was, and what you believed you needed in order to feel worthy. Your values will begin to shift. Your self-perception will deepen. You’ll start caring less about how others perceive you, and more about how aligned you feel with yourself.

There will be quiet revolutions:

• A new approach to self-improvement

• Moments of solitude that feel like medicine

• Belief systems breaking and reforming

• A fierce commitment to understanding your inner world

This phase is awakening you from a long slumber. What once numbed or distracted you no longer works. You’re being summoned to awaken to your true self, and with that awakening comes sovereignty—the ability to make decisions rooted in clarity and self-trust, rather than in panic, pressure, or performance.

🩷✨You are entering a new realm of authenticity, and though the path may feel unfamiliar, it is sacred. 🩷✨

Pile 6

🌀For many of you, this next cycle in your life represents a paradigm shift—but in order to step into it, you’re going to have to take a step back. It may feel like a regression before progression, but never forget: regression is where you learn; progression is where you go.🌀

In this current stage of “regression,” you’re reflecting on everything that has unfolded from January to June. You’re trying to piece together the story—asking the how, the why, the when, and the where. You’re seeking clarity about your life and what brought you to this point. That desire for understanding is powerful. But the truth is, there’s a lot to understand.

You want to make sense of things, and you are introspective, but when you go inward and try to reflect in solitude, it overwhelms you—not because you’re too much, but because you’ve never really sat with it all. Maybe you’ve been in survival mode. Maybe you’ve been avoidant. Maybe you were too busy. Either way, now that you’re finally facing it, it feels like too much.

So, when you retreat into isolation and try to be introspective, you might feel the urge to give up, to escape, to distract yourself again. There’s a chaotic energy to this new cycle: you want to understand, but you also feel flooded by everything you’re trying to process. The key will be to break it down in pieces—give yourself grace and time—because healing through isolation will only happen once you stop trying to rush the process.

Right now, isolation may feel like pressure instead of peace. You may feel tempted to jump back into socializing, distractions, or routines just to avoid feeling overwhelmed. I also see for some of you, a breakup may have recently occurred, and you might be starting to explore your options again in dating. It doesn’t feel like a traumatic breakup—more like a neutral separation, where both parties knew it wasn’t working.

With summer in full swing, there may be less desire for routine or structure. You may find yourself avoiding responsibilities, people, or even your own healing process. Even when you try to do the inner work, you might quickly slip into escapism—retreating into fantasy, daydreams, or distractions rather than confronting the reality of your emotions.

This cycle you’ll experience:

• Wanting to move forward and feeling pulled back

• Intense impulsive urges

• Wanting to love and be passionate, but having a push-pull feeling

• Wanting to socialize but also being alone

• Into fantasy, daydreaming, and seeking

You feel ungrounded right now—floating, drifting, unsure of where to begin. Even if you do begin to heal or reflect, it doesn’t last long. Something inside of you wants to avoid “wasting the summer” being sad, stuck inside, or emotionally heavy. You’re craving chill, calm, carefree energy—and that’s completely valid.

However, avoidance comes at a cost. It keeps you from the deeper growth that’s trying to emerge. It holds you back. There’s an inner tension in this cycle—you want freedom, but you also feel like you should be doing more. You’re conflicted. You want to run wild, but you also second-guess it.

I’ll be honest: in this stage, it doesn’t seem like you’re learning a lot. There’s some chaotic, unstable energy, and it feels like you’re caught in a loop of trying to move forward, only to regress again. That’s okay. Sometimes, the lesson is in acknowledging that you’re not ready for everything. Maybe you want freedom more than introspection. Maybe you crave fluidity more than structure. Maybe you’re not ready to decide, because you’re still discovering what you want.

This cycle is about exploration, not perfection.

So don’t be hard on yourself. It’s summer—have fun. Let loose a little. Just try not to let that freedom become recklessness. Entertainment is healthy, but stay grounded. If you’re going out drinking—hydrate. If you’re being sexually expressive—protect yourself. If you want to run wild—run wise.

This cycle is not about planning or achieving something specific. It’s about discovering who you really are. You are learning through experience, not through strategy. And even if it feels messy right now, clarity will come through your reflection in time.

So live. Explore. But check in with yourself, too.

🩷✨You don’t need to have it all figured out right now—just keep learning how to listen to your soul.🩷✨

🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸

[2-dsimp]

Imagine almost drowning at sea only to get snatched up by a yandere boxcrab.

Yandere!Boxcrab with an untamed fringe covering his hetochromia eyes of Yellow and Black. He had freckles upon his flesh packed within his hard shelled exterior. Lithe in frame, lean muscled, and towered above most of his peers with his many long legs.

Yandere!Boxcrab that has always dreamed of the day of when he’d get a beloved of his own to shelter and protect within his crabby arms. He bided his time traveling upon the sea floor, migrating towards the mating hub of crustacean folk like himself.

Yandere!Boxcrab who’s instinctually wired to grab the first potential mate he saw which happened to be you. Sinking down to where he dwelled within the oceans embrace.

`Oh a darling~ r-ripe for the taking! I must hurry and kidnap them before the other bachelors get any ideas!` The Boxcrab man fretted as he swam towards you capturing your body within his grubby clutches. Immediately hightailing it out of the massive gathering of mate snatching chaos. With his prized possession in tow.

Yandere!Boxcrab who Already felt at peace with the world now that you were his lover now. But he assumed that it’d be best to take you to his underwater cave where an air pocket was present. Since he knew that humans couldn’t manage without oxygen for too long.

“M-my wife! I’ve finally g-got my wife! I’ll take care of you, I’ll make sure you’re filled with our babies. For the rest of our marriage~” Krato said giddily, eyes alit with pure elation at finally having someone of his own to love, cherish, and defile with his eggs. Till they’re popping out multiple clutches of future generations to come.

Since Boxcrabs naturally had a introverted temperament to hide their face within their large crab pincer arms. Your suitor gushed like a shy fanboy peeking at you from behind his pincher appendages. Admiring you from a close distance within the open water pool inside the cavern he stowed you away in.

But then he paused, his gaze turning fretful seeing you shivering. His mouth formed into a wobbly frown as he realized how cold it must be for you in the underwater cave.

“Oh m-my poor love is c-cold. No no no that’s not g-good. Need them warm, h-have to provide ”He chittered anxiously, and quickly ducked down into the lagoon pool and disappeared for a moment. Quickly scurrying under water to fish for something

After a bit of underwater swimming, your groom resurfaced within the pool. In his pincer he had a pile of sea shells. Most likely of clam shells.

“I’m s-sorry I don’t have any human c-clothing. I’ll…make a makeshift uh blanket for you using these shells~”

The nervous crustacean murmured. Setting his pile of shells down on a rock near him. He began working quickly to string the shells together with some seaweed in order to create a makeshift top and bottoms out of shells.

His pointed crab legs Teetering over to your unconscious body that he stripped naked. And clothed with some minor struggle thanks to his lack of dexterous fingers.

Your Boxcrab then inboxed you underneath his body in a protective embrace. Making sure you were in his possession as he was paranoid about anything trying to steal you away from him. For now he’d be content wallowing in the unique scent of your body aroma. While he awaited for consciousness to come to you.

Krato was so excited to plan y’all’s life together. Just you and him plus your future clutches. He couldn’t wait till you opened your eyes to your brand new life under the sea!

——/————/——

A/n: saw a tiktok about cute boxcrabs and decided to make this at 4am💀

[slasherscream]

Hi, sorry to bug but I have to yap to someone about this, and I love your ideas. Do you think Nathan Prescott would take his partner’s last name if he ever got married? Would any of the Crazy Ass Boy Gang?

❥ who would take your last name ❥

Nathan Prescott - He would take your last name so quickly it would make your head spin. You’re the first person who’s given meaning to the world family. His sister tried, but when you’re on a sinking ship, there’s only so much you can do. Try too desperately to save the person drowning next to you and you risk going under yourself. So Nathan drowned alone. Until you, that is. Marrying you, becoming part of your family, is absolution for him. He’s not Sean Prescott’s son. He’s Nathan Y/L/N, your husband. 

Jason Dean/JD - It might seem a little strange for JD to be so willing to change his name. His nickname is just his first and last name together, afterall. This was his mother’s last name. But it’s also his father’s. One night he’ll gently wake you , and in the quietest voice you’ve ever heard him use he'll ask you if you’d like him to take your last name. There are so many questions he’s asking, in that one sentence: Do you want me to be yours, unequivocally? Will you bear the weight of that ownership? Am I abandoning my Mother, if I leave her all alone as a Dean, with only him as her company? Will you ask me to take it? Please ask. Please take the weight of the asking away. I can’t abandon her. But I can’t stay, either. Put your arms around him and tell him he’ll make one hell of a Y/L/N.

❥ who would want you to take theirs ❥

Sebastian Valmont - He has genuinely doodled your names together in his journals like a middle schooler. Without a hint of irony: Mr. and Mx. Valmont. Y/N Valmont. Since the moment he fell in love he was planning to marry you and give you his last name. The Valmont name carries weight. It’s legacy. It’s old money. He throws his name around and people fall over themselves to get things done for him. He wants you to throw around his name too. He wants you to embrace every luxury he can give you. One of those luxuries is the power of his family name. Use it.

Billy Loomis - His parent’s marriage failed miserably. He doesn’t even know if his Mother kept the name Loomis. At this point, what does it matter? He fights tooth and nail not to live in the past when he has a future with you to look forward to. So he wants to look forward. He wants to do better than his parents did. He wants to wake up in ten years, twenty, thirty and reach for your hand and know you two succeeded. His family name isn’t doomed to failed promises, runaway spouses, and unfaithfulness. You guys are a better Loomis pair than his parents ever were.

David Mccall - Don’t piss him off. If you even try to hint at wanting to keep your original family name, it will be one of the few times you see David’s mask slip. “What? My name not good enough for you, sweetheart? Marriage is for starting over. It’s for building our lives together, not for hanging onto the past. Thought you loved me.” Every dirty trick he has in his arsenal will be used. Whatever it takes until you give in. Sex. Guilt. Moping. Anger. Don’t push back too hard, or go back and forth on the issue for too long. On your wedding day you’re gonna be Y/N Mccall, come hell or high water. There’s no need for anything drastic to take place just for that to happen, right baby? 

Josh Washington - Josh could never be anything but a Washington. It’s the name he shared with his sisters. It’s the only thing he still shares with his sisters. He used to be able to see them in his face, at least. But now… he’s so different, even that bit of the twins has died. It isn’t right that there are so few Washington's left. Most days Josh isn’t even sure if he’s a Washington anymore. If he’s still Human anymore. But you are. You’re gentle, kind, and so painfully human. Just like the twins were. He might have failed them, hell, he probably failed himself. But he won’t fail you. He has a second chance at a family, and this time you’ll always be safe. 

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - Would be so offended if this was even up for debate. Why wouldn’t you be taking his name? Why is it even a discussion? Why does he even have to ask? Will probably say something incredibly mean and unnecessary when you first talk about it. There’s a pit of insecurity in him that no amount of love you can give him will fill. It’s shaped like the love he should have gotten from his father. From his siblings. But the first love he’s ever felt has been yours. But that’s not true for you. You’ve loved people before him. Other people have loved you before he was able to. He needs you to be his. Just his. You’re the only thing in the world that matters that belongs only to him. But there are little pieces of you that will never be just his and it makes him sick. This can fix all that, though! He knows that the security of introducing you as his spouse will be a balm on his soul. He wants tabloids, newspapers, TV, and the radio to all be parroting the words: Y/N Hargreeves. He hopes- no, he knows it will make that hole inside him ache a little less. 

❥ who wants to hyphenate ❥

Jordan Li - Jordan doesn’t want you to give up your identity, who you are, just because you’re marrying them. They also don’t want to change their name, really. Something about not being a Li, despite everything, makes their stomach turn. But marriage is still about coming together. Making two lives so harmonious, so copacetic, that sometimes, if you’re lucky, it becomes one life, shared. Jordan didn’t propose for a long time, afraid of it all going wrong. Of ruining what you have. You helped them believe you two were strong enough to change and grow together. They want your names to reflect that. So, you hyphenate, and you blend, and grow, together. 

Stu Macher - Assumed you would take his last name, but when you pushed back, not sure if you wanted to shirk your family name entirely, Stu had the most relaxed reaction you’ve ever gotten from him about anything. “Okay, why don’t we both change 'em’? We’ll hyphenate! Like Brad Pitt and Angelina, or whatever.” You were expecting a tantrum. Not the easy acceptance that he actually meant for once. The fact is you’re wearing his ring on your finger, and you’re gonna stand in front of all your friends and family and say how much you love him. He’s already won. Why sweat the small stuff? 

Kevin Khatchadourian - Was quite angry when you began to hint at not wanting to change your name. It was the icy, calculated anger that made him dangerous, too. But if you’re marrying him you know how to communicate with him. Reason with him. You don’t want to take his last name because you don’t want to emulate his family. You want to make something of your own with him. You’re not sure how well the words worked until he sets the paperwork down in front of you. Kevin Y/L/N-Khatchadourian. In those small lines of ink, you’ll realize how deep the love Kevin is capable of runs for you. If you squint your eyes those words start to look like: I want us to be different from my parents. He watches you sign the paperwork to change your name, and Kevin has never been more content to give in to one of your demands. Just this once, of course.

A/N: i LOVE a character study question that’s still x reader. you are my favorite person in the world for this one. if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. xoxoxo

[apollonia4]

Fangs?! - MC turned vampire (Part.2).

Cold blood, pale skin, red piercing eyes and sharp fangs, you have it all. Your transformation being the result of an unfortunate attack, the brothers try to help you however they can during your painfull times as a fledgeling.

Cw: angst, mentions of pain, blood, gn¡MC, established relationship.

Part.1 pt.3

SATAN has to fight the urge to grab the person closest to him and throw them across the room once he hears the devastating news. He's furious. He literally has to walk it off before he even attempts to see you in fear of storming off to the human world to end the vampire's entire bloodline.

Once he calmed down, he invited you to his room. That is if you're feeling up to it of course. He's read about vampires before, he knows how hard it is for you and he's not there to try to force you to do anything. You manage to make it to his room, your dread for light becoming a little more bearable by the day. You knock on the door and soon Satan stands in the doorway, grabbing you gently by the hand, pulling you inside the already dark room. You had your reasons to suspect the space was this dark especially for you. You both stood only few steps away from the door. Satan didn't exactly know how to act, he just knew you needed comfort so he opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. You accepted the invitation and hugged him tightly, burrying your head under his chin. Soon enough though you feel the hunger coming in and you try to break away from the gesture but he holds you firm, caging you in his embrace. "Satan! Let me go, please." You exclaim as you feel yourself loose control. "It's alright MC, I'm not afraid." he says as he leads you to the big armchair by his bed, "you can bite me, whatever brings you relief". It's all he can say before you sink your fangs into his neck.

ASMODEUS is devastated, the thought of someone getting this close to you and making you uncomfortable? Unbearable. And on top of that they dare to cause you pain?? Asmodeus just can't take it, as soon as he learns of your situation he just wants to run to you and hug you. He wouldn't even care if you bit him (he'd probably be into it).

You hadn't been outside of your room for days now. Everyone was worried and Asmodeus couldn't bear the absence of your everyday smile. But he understood the way you feel like no one else. He knew you probably wanted to be alone to process what's been happening but he himself was on the brink of a breakdown knowing you suffer so much. He had you within his arm's reach and he wasn't about to abandon you. He would do everything to help you accept and understand yourself. He hesitated standing before your room, would you want to see him? Or would you kick him out? He sighed and knocked on the door. "Not now, Asmo..." your voice echoed in his mind, there was something different about you. How did you know it was him? He didn't even say anything. "Please, just let me see you for a second my love.." there was a moment of complete silence, Asmodeus was about to leave when the door almost flung open but you weren't in the doorframe. Yeah, you were definitely different. He found you on your bed, your hand and lips bloody. You had seemingly bit yourself to stop the hunger. You looked exhausted. "Oh MC, you poor thing.." said your lover as he brought your wounded hand to his lips, kissing it gently not minding the blood at all. "I'll lend you my own blood without hesitation, all you need is ask."

BEELZEBUB was so scared when he heard of what exactly happened. He could've lost you. This almost made him panic but his twin was there to remind him that you were still here, alive and that you needed them.

The 6th born woke up in the middle of the night. He's had a nightmare, yet again. Ever since you returned to the Devildom with red eyes he's been having bad dreams. He breathed heavily, looking slowly around the dim room before hours comforting now, suffocating and eerie. He decided to get out of the bed to clear his head. And of course he's made his way to the kitchen. You had done so too. When he entered the room he didn't see you at first untill you looked up, your crimson eyes glowing a little in the dark. He jumped at the sight, simply not expecting you to be there at this hour but concern quickly overtook him as he noticed - you were in pain. Your face twisted slightly, eyebrows furrowing and your breathing shaky. "MC, what's going on? Does anything hurt??" He asks as he makes his way to your side, putting his large hand on your back. You take a deep breath in and out "Everything hurts..I-I can't take it anymore!" You managed to say before you broke down crying, simply because you were so uncomfortable. Beelzebub hugged you imidiately, not shushing you just letting you cry it out. When you did, you were practically falling asleep in his arms so he scooped you up and carried you to his room. It'll help you both get a better rest. It was clear that in this scenario, you simply didn't wanna part.

BELPHEGOR had a similiar reaction to his twin with the difference that the shock made him agressive to his brothers. Sometimes including Beel. All these painful memories of loosing a family member flooded his mind and he prefered being alone as he coped with it.

The House of Lamentation was empty, silent. The brothers besides him were at RAD. All besides Belphegor. They didn't manage to get him out of bed this time, on the other hand thet understood his way of processing the situation and finally gave him some peace. No matter how ridiculous it may sound, Belphegor got sick of his room. All these negative thoughts and scenarios were nearly floating around in the air and he needed to get out. He made his way downstairs to the living room. He didn't expect you to be there too. You were sitting in the couch, reading a book. Something about vampires, you looked very focused. "Hey MC." He said as he sat beside you. "...Hi?" you didn't quite seem to get his intentions. "I see you're reading..so you aren't hating the light anymore??", "I still do, I'm just trying to get used to it." You replied. He nodded acknowledgingly. "Well, if you're reading, you can read aloud right?" He said as he laid his head on your lap, hugging one of your thighs. You smiled a little and ruffled his hair. This might've been mean if you don't know Belphie but you knew him. And you knew he just missed you.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

random messages from the tarot

so, this is a short pac reading with no theme, anything essencial will show up on this readings. feel free to pick more than one pile <3

pile 1 pile 2

pile 3 pile 4

images from pinterest and dividers by @fairytopea

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

*˚‧͙✧ PILE ONE ✧‧͙⁺*

During this very moment of your life, you need to stop expecting good fortune and luck to be on your side when you are thinking about taking any kind of new direction. It’s understandable that hope might be a great motivator for you, but you are limiting yourself if you’re ignoring how important are your own actions and your virtues, things that go well in your life, are not because of good luck, they go well because you did well. If you focus on developing your skills and your confidence, you will achieve a lot and actually enjoy those achievements without any sort of impostor syndrome.  Please understand that anything good that happens to you, in your case, is a reflection of what you do on your own in order to keep the abundance and the positive energy coming your way.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE TWO ✧‧͙⁺*

I get this feeling you are watching yourself detach from your own emotions and you are not sure what to do about it. When it comes to feelings of anxiety or sadness, it’s common to want to detach, or ignore them, but at some point this can happen sort of by accident, you know you’re feeling bad, but you don’t quite feel it sometimes. What I can say about this is that: try to deal with this by being deeply conscious on how and why these feelings are being ignored, don’t focus too much on what is causing them right now, but instead focus on why you are not allowing yourself to experience something completely human: feelings. Try to understand them as ways in which your mind and body communicates the needs you’re unconsciously ignoring. And please ask for help if you need to.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE THREE ✧‧͙⁺*

It’s time to stop being resentful with your past self, and /or the people who hurt you.  You’re carrying way too much baggage that is affecting your decision making skills, usually taking you to places and people that are far too similar to the situations that got you the baggage in your first place. This is a great moment to begin healing journeys aimed to allow yourself to have a deeper comprehension on your past, by taking a more objective look on it and being more understanding with your old self, more patient and comprehensive. For you, it’s necessary to see what thought are behavioural patterns are keeping you away from moving on from the past.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE FOUR ✧‧͙⁺*

You’re going to experience a lot of creative energy and fast changes soon. It’s key that you can embrace the fun yet chaotic but overall positive experiences that’ll come your way. These are not only meant to give you new perspectives and new opportunities regarding the material aspects of your life, but they’re also a manifestation of your own energy changing and attracting both positive and negative challenges. You will be put in situations where your passions will become a great source of guidance and hope, while becoming more and more present in your life. Expect new people wanting to approach you during a time of change and evolution like this, some come to help, some to test you, some will stay and others not.

hi, i'm gigi :)

i hope you enjoyed this readings and hopefully found something useful. check my masterpost if you want to know more about this blog or if you want to keep reading some more PACs. also, my bookings for personal readings are open!! so don't hesitate to take a quick look at my tarot menu if you're interested in that.

as usual, im thankful for all the good vibes on here, i hope everyone can get something out of this blog!! i'm really struggling to get consistent with posting since i prioritize my job as a tarot reader on an app and doing personal readings from here (and omg thanks to everyone who trusts me with that and thanks to everyone who books).

so yeah, thats pretty much it.

much love, gigi <3

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

OH BIG BRAIN IDEA-

Reverse Puss In Boots panic attack scene with Reader calming Dogday down from a panic attack, 'cause this case it's the dog that needs comforting-

"[Y/n]! Come quickly! Something's wrong with Dogday!"

Pausing in your repairs of Kissy's arm, you made sure to cut the thread before giving her an apologetic look. Fortunately, she seemed to understand that you needed to heed Poppy's call right away, and so you followed the little doll into the next room over.

There, Dogday was resting...although at this moment he was very much doing the opposite.

He was slumped against the wall, out of the makeshift dogbed you and Kissy put together for him, a hand clutching his chest--but it kept heaving, rapidly rising and falling with each labored breath.

His white pupils were completely gone, not a shred of light to be found within his sockets, and that was very alarming.

Did he see something?

Did an intruder try to get in?

While Poppy couldn't guarantee any place in the factory was safe, she did mention this area was a good place to hunker down, rest, and plan your next move against the Prototype.

But if that's the case...then what was going on with him?

You needed to find out fast.

"Dogday...what's wrong..??!"

Even though he could hear you and see you kneeling in front of him, concern written all over your face, he simply couldn't answer. He couldn't even keep his focus on you, as a whirlwind of terror and panic clouded his mind.

The only thing he could do was paw at his chest, unable to make sense of why his heart refused to stop pounding, as though it was trying to break free.

Or maybe..

It was a little Smiling Critter who stowed away inside him, trying to get out....

The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

"I don't know what happened.." Poppy murmured to you, shaking her head. "I swear he was fine a second ago! Y-You think his organs might be shutting down? Or his hunger is-?"

"No, I know exactly what's wrong." You calmly answered, much to her bewilderment.

But before she could question you further, you moved over to Dogday's side before hugging him around the torso, squishing your cheek against his chest the moment he took his paws off of it.

And you simply waited.

The little doll had no idea how this was helping him, although she soon realized his breaths were finally starting to slow. His white pupils flickered back to life, looking down and seeing you embrace him without any regard to your own safety.

Somehow..you provided him with such a comforting weight that drowned out his panicked thoughts.

One of his trembling paws eventually came to rest atop your head, and he slowly began to pet you much like a human would pet a dog: gentle, ensuring he wasn't too rough.

After a few more moments passed, you felt his breaths even out to the point where his chest wasn't heaving like before, and he placed his paw on your back.

Finally, he spoke.

"A-Angel...thank you..I..don't know what happened.."

"It's okay." You sat up to look at him, seeing the tears threatening to spill from his sockets. "You were just having a panic attack. But it's over..you did great."

"Is..that what it was?" He murmured, confused.

"That's all it was. Do you remember what led to it?"

"...'m not sure. I was..just thinking about Catnap, and the Prototype, and suddenly I felt this strange tightness in my chest. Thought somethin' was wrong with my lungs...a-and then the room just started spinning. Next thing I knew, I...I-I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk to Poppy or you, angel. Thought one of those wretched things was trying to eat me from the inside out. B-But..that was just all in my head, right? I'm not...nothing was-?"

"I made sure none snuck inside when I was fixing you up. You're safe from them." Taking one of his paws into your hands, you smiled, seeing Kissy walk into the room. "Catnap and the Prototype have been on all of our minds lately, and it's been...a stressful few hours."

"...I didn't mean to scare you all..usually it's me who calms people down, ya know?" He sighed quietly, still feeling guilty. "You sure I'm not going to slow you down? Because if I have another attack...i-it could be at the worst time, and then-"

"Then I'll help you through it. I made a promise to get you all out of here, and I'm sticking by that." You reassured.

Dogday looked surprised, but he relaxed his shoulders in relief, tail wagging along the floor. "Thank you, angel.."

He had his doubts before, about whether saving him from the Playhouse was more trouble than it's worth.

But now he knows you're in this for the long run, ready to help guide him out of the darkness.

[belit0]

Hcs for all uchihas with a jinchuriki reader who’s shunned by the village?

Here I come

Madara

Madara understands isolation intimately. He knows what it is to be feared, to be watched with suspicion no matter how much he proves himself.

The moment he realizes (Y/N) is shunned by the village, a cold fury settles in his chest. The fools—they do not understand strength when it stands before them.

He does not coddle her. He does not pity her. What he does is make sure she never feels less.

-Let them fear you,- he tells her, voice calm, assured. -Let them tremble. You owe them nothing.-

If anyone dares speak against her in his presence, their life expectancy plummets instantly.

He does not believe in small gestures. When he stands beside her, it is not as a quiet supporter—it is as an undeniable force. She is his, and by his side, no one will dare treat her as anything less than powerful.

Izuna

Izuna is absolutely livid when he learns how she’s treated. He doesn’t just get angry—he acts.

-What do you mean they don’t let you into half the shops!?- He growls, eyes blazing. Suddenly, the very stores that once turned (Y/N) away now welcome her without hesitation. Merchants step aside, their fear unmistakable as Izuna strides in, her hand firmly in his, effortlessly purchasing anything she so much as lingers on.

He doesn’t see her as a monster—if anything, he adores the fact that she has something wild inside her.

-Ah... (Y/N)... love... don’t tell me you never wanted to let loose a little.- His grin is sharp, teasing, but his eyes are serious. He wants her to embrace it.

He doesn’t mind that others fear her—in fact, he finds it hilarious. He loves walking through the village with her under his arm, watching people scramble to avoid them.

And if she ever doubts herself—if the weight of being unwanted ever really settles on her—he’s there in an instant, tilting her chin up with an easy smirk.

-You think I’d waste my time on someone who wasn’t worth it?- he teases, smiling and making her laugh -Come on, (Y/N). You’re incredible.-

Obito

Obito knows what it is to be treated as something less than human. Knows the sting of being an outsider.

But his heart is too big, too soft to let her believe the village’s words.

-They don’t know you!- he insists, voice raw with emotion. -They don’t know anything about you!-

He goes out of his way to include her, to drag her into his world, to prove that she is not alone.

It kills him when she doubts herself. When he catches her looking at her reflection with that hollow look in her eyes, the one that says she’s questioning whether she’s even worth loving.

He hates that look. He would erase it if he could.

So he does the only thing he can—he holds her, as tightly as he can, until she believes him when he says: -You are not what they say you are. You are so much more.-

Shisui

Shisui never lets the village’s treatment define her. They are the problem, not her.

-Ah... let them be scared, love. More room for us in the good restaurants.-

But under the charm and laughter, there’s fury. If he hears even one whisper against her—one cruel word—he remembers that face. He doesn’t forget.

And if someone takes it too far? Well… no one ever sees what happens, but those people never speak against her again.

He never lets her feel like an outcast. When she walks with him, it’s with confidence—because he makes sure she knows her worth.

-You’re not a curse,- he tells her one night, when the weight of it all is heavy in her eyes. -You’re a miracle. And if the village is too blind to see it… well, that’s their loss.-

Itachi

Itachi sees her. He sees beyond the whispers, beyond the reputation, beyond the way people flinch at her presence.

He understands what it is to bear something inside you that no one else can comprehend.

-They know nothing, (Y/N)- he says, voice quiet but firm. -Only what they choose to believe.-

He does not try to change her, does not try to convince her to suppress what she is. Instead, he wants her to understand it—to control it, to own it.

-You are not a weapon, but if you must be one… let it be on your own terms.-

And if she ever truly breaks—if she ever questions whether she deserves anything good in this world—his resolve shatters. He hates seeing her in pain, and he hates even more that he can’t take it away.

So he stays, always present. Even when words fail, even when the weight of it is too much, he stays. Because if there is one thing he can give her, it is that.

[monstersholygrail]

Could I ask more of Vampjre BF x fem!reader. Pleaseee

Of course!! I’ve been wanting to write more vamps. I can’t wait for Halloween!! This is best friends to bf, hope that’s okay!

When you had suggested getting buzzed with your vampire best friend after he told you he got laid off from his job at The Red Cross it was totally innocent! Did it turn you on whenever he drank from you? Yes. Did you enjoy his blood over sampling over vampires? Yes. But you had no ulterior motive whatsoever.

If something was finally gonna happen between you two then it would! Lower inhibitions or not.

But while you quickly get buzzed off of his blood, he’s taken the same amount and seems completely fine. It has you going from giggling one minute to pouting at the next. You lean in closer to him and his eyes gleam dangerously.

“How are you not affected by my blood?”

Your vampire friend laughs, his raspy voice turning you on even more. He looks up and down your plump form, a claw coming out to trail along the column of your throat.

“I am more affected than you know, precious. But it takes a fresher blood to get a vampire drunk than a human.”

His finger on your neck sends a shiver down your spine yet you manage to hold in your moan. You know what he means yet you still ask anyway.

“What could be fresher than the wrist?”

“The closer it is to the heartbeat the stronger it is,” he purrs, eyes half-lidded and already leaning in.

It takes nothing more for you to bare your neck to him. Wanting his fangs back into you. His eyes flash at your submission and he pounces on you. Taking you down onto the sofa and sliding between your thick thighs. You gasp as his fangs sink into your flesh.

A warm buzzing heat courses through your body. He releases you a moment later with a content sigh and blood on his lips. He grins down at you and your hips twitch in response. Your need rising.

“While you taste as marvelous as always, my love, that’s not the heartbeat I mean,” he rasps before his hand reaches down and cups your pulsing cunt.

You two stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment, your breath shaky, before you can no longer take it. “Please,” you beg.

His hands are all over you like he’s been waiting an eternity to finally have you in his embrace. Your clothes are off but his fangs quickly cover you full of his sharp bites, making a path down your body and to your drenched core.

“I’ve waited so long to take you as mine. And you are mine, aren’t you, beautiful?” He asks as he grabs handfuls of your plush thighs and spreads you further.

Before you can even answer his mouth on you, lapping up your fat cunt like he’s been lost in the dessert and only now found water. You cry out, writhing on his tongue as pleasure bursts through you.

“Y-yes, yes, god yes!” You shout, hands weaving into his hair so you can grind against his face.

Your vampire best friend turned… possible boyfriend growls, eagerly encouraging being suffocated by your warm pussy. If he could be suffocated that is.

He ravages you without mercy. His tongue swiping along your slit and igniting your every nerve before dipping into your fluttering core and tasting you directly from the source. He can’t seem to stop, not even as you squirm and shake. He merely holds onto you tighter, keeping your delicious body firmly against his face. Growing more and more drunk off your sweet taste.

The minute he starts sucking on your clit as though he’s trying to suck you dry, you explode all over his face, soaking it with your release. He immediately sinks his fangs into you and you scream, your orgasm doubling over tenfold and your vision flashing white.

You’re panting heavily as your release moves through you and you blink rapidly to try and regain your sight and come down from such a high. Your vampire bf starts to move up your body and you look down at him, noticing a wet spot staining the couch. Your pussy clenches around nothing as you realize he’d cum just from your taste.

He nuzzles into your neck but instead of trying to sneak another taste, he simply soaks up your warmth. While you use his cold skin to help you cool down. The two of you balancing each other out as you always have. Now doing so no longer as friends but as lovers. Both of you ending up getting exactly what you wanted out of this little hangout.

[priceyprice]

Simon is not a believer.

He doesn't believe in things like the earth is flat, aliens are green with antlers, superstitions, and other things. He doesn't believe in angels, demons, myths like greek mythology or spirits —instead of ghosts, he believes that spirits are a form of energy and not just a white silhouette of a person—, he's not of a much believer of anything. He hardly has emotions, years of shutting down everything he felt since all his trajectory and his dark past, so there's no way he believes in something.

Oh, that's until he saw her.

The moment he saw her, the thought of not believing in angels was vanished like the thin smoke of a cigarette.

She was standing in front of him, introducing herself like the new member of the team with her sweet voice that sounded like honey dripping from her soft lips. Her face was soft and delicate, something he had never seen before. When she extended her hand for a handshake, the soft texture of her almost melted him on the spot. How can she be a sergeant with that delicate face? How can she kill on the battlefield with those soft hands?

She was a true angel.

A few weeks later, when they were on a mission, Simon realized how much he underestimated her.

She could kill like a demon.

She could kill anyone in matter of seconds. There was no remorse or sympathy behind those pretty eyes the second she stepped into battleground.

Now, Simon believes in angels and demons.

Almost a year later, when Simon finally was in a relationship with her, he discovered other beliefs.

His room was filled with soft moans, whimpers, and the sound of the bed creaking. His hands were on her waist as hers were on his broad shoulders. He was sitting on the edge of the bed while she was on top of him riding him like her life depended on it.

Their kisses were messy and sloppy, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance, not caring of anyone who would pass in front of the room, abusing of his power as they know no one will snitch on the lieutenant.

Her hands roamed down to his chest, taking him by surprise when she pushed him down so he was lying completely on his bed. His eyes found hers, confused about why she used all that force on him, thinking maybe she didn't wanna do it anymore.

Before he could process what was happening again, she started to ride him again faster. A low growl formed on her throat.

Simon hissed and closed his eyes for a second. "Fuck... you're too fast."

"I don't care." She answered, almost sounding like a whimper.

His hands flew to her hips, and he opened his eyes, only to found the most perfect view he could ever had.

Her hair was disheveled, his impatient hands taking the blame for all her strands in different directions. Her expression was contorted to one of pure ecstasy and a few rebel strands of hair and droplets of sweat adorning her forehead. Her skin was glowing like the morning sun rising up behind the mountains. Her hips moved like the waves on a night with a full moon. Her soft skin against his was like the clouds adorning the very blue sky.

That's when Simon came to the realization that he believed in something more.

In goddesses.

She looked like a total goddess trying to search for her release, panting and sweating, up and down, using him for reaching that state of pure bliss.

When they finished, they lay down on his bed, hugging each other without saying anything. Skin red and sweaty, covers dirty and wrinkled, room smelling like sex and their scents. They didn't care as long as they were embracing each other and forgetting about the world after his room door.

At that moment, Simon started to believe in something else.

Heaven.

As much as he wanted to avoid the bitter events, he couldn't simply do it. One day, on a mission trying to find a gang leader and a human trafficker, they kidnapped his lover. Leaving no trace behind to have a clue and save her.

The way his heart fell from his chest was worse than any other things he had experienced in life. Those gang members took away his reason to live, his reason to breathe, his reason to love.

Simon discovered another belief that day.

Hell.

And he will bring hell to every person who touched even a single strand of hair from his lover.

He will bring the devil himself just to save her.

[Part 1 here]

[Part 3 here]

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

[lichenes]

Amour amour

Vincent has a strange fixation with your *gestures wildly*... CW: estabilished relationship, french people, kissing, tooth rotting fluff, LOTS of physical contact, sfw (nothing happens just some tension) Vincent Renzi x gn!reader wc: 562

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Wherever you went it seemed that Vincent went there too. He seemed to be following you like a lost puppy, a lovesick expression painted on his face. You were chalking it up to you being in the honeymoon stage of your relationship but didn't expect for this state to turn into your everyday life.

Vincent entered the room you were in, wearing only the pyjama pants he bought as a pis aller to convince you he had some sense of style which didn't consist only of elaborately patterned shawls. He gave you a knowing smile. "Bonjour." He said in a low, sultry voice immediately breaking character and bursting into laughter.

You amused him by giggling and sat up on the bed you were previously laying on, extending your arms towards his presence. Vincent obliged and with a slight chuckle he got closer to you in a few strides pressing his bare chest to your face and embracing your head.

"Very comfortable..." you mused, a laugh threatening to escape your lips, words muffled by his tight hug. "Shhhh..." he shushed you and started stroking your hair. You relaxed into his touch putting your arms around his waist.

You stayed like this for a few moments more before the day had to start fully. After you let go Vincent crouched down to be on your lever and put his hand on your cheek gently caressing it with his thumb. Both your hands wandered towards his silver locks which looked especially alluring.

Tugging on them he released a content whine. "Careful." He mused as he got closer. Every time it was the same with him, he knew exactly how to sweep you off your feet without even trying. Vincent put both his hands on your cheeks and gave you the sweetest kiss imaginable, not wanting to overwhelm you in the morning.

When he turned to walk away you grabbed his hand and he turned around questioningly. "Chéri?" You stood up and got closer to him and put your hands around his neck, smiling, you ghosted your lips over his and immediately turned around walking away towards the kitchen.

His lips chased yours but never quite got to catch up to them. Vincent followed suit and entered the kitchen where you were just putting the kettle on.

"Ah you're cruel..." He feigned affront, putting his hand on his chest. Your back was against the kitchen counter and you chuckled at his theatricals. He went up to you and stole a kiss which you teased him with before, knocking the air out of you with the fervency of it.

Vincent pulled away clearly pleased with himself grinning wildly. Your face was hot from all the affection you recieved, clearly enjoying it. It was your turn to put your hands on his cheeks. Just as you were about to say something he chimed. "You're so pretty sunshine." Your cheeks got even hotter.

Sunshine. It was one of Vincent's favourite pet names for you because it made you the most flustered. Your blushes, stolen glaces, the way it made him feel transcended humanity's understanding of love. Goddess was a word that didn't do you justice.

You were more like an eldrich benevolent force which was the only thing he got out of bed for. You chuckled into the kiss. "Ah Vincent Renzi, the man you are..." you sighed contently.

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