#it makes finding content vv difficult

[sanatomis]

⋆.ೃ࿔* ── 𝐃𝐈𝐘-𝐃𝐀𝐃!

it’s career day, and megumi has to bring his dad to school so he can tell the class about his job. the problem? he only has a 20-year-old sorcerer-guardian who has the brain capacity of a walnut.

content. canon divergence (suguru’s alive and studying to be a kindergarten teacher), possible ooc characters, female!reader.

notes. guys i’m a sucker for satoru who really, really tries and isn’t just a goofy man-child ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ also ! thank you all for your patience, it took me a while to finish this piece bc of uni, so i'm vv happy it's finally done <3

taglist. | masterlist.

“I don’t have a dad.” 

As cruel as it may be, a part of Megumi hopes that the sentence makes his teacher greatly uncomfortable. Demanding for a father to attend a Career Day at school simply isn’t fair to children without one—or, well, to the child without one. It’s not his fault his father hauled ass and left, so why is she making this so difficult for him? 

“Oh,” she mumbles. It seems his arrow hit the target, as her eyebrows pull together in a frown and she shifts her weight between her feet. “Well, you, uh, have a male guardian, don’t you?”

Megumi grimaces. Instantly, he thinks back to last week. Satoru Gojo, self-proclaimed strongest, had hit his head on a kitchen cabinet. With a dramatic pout and an overexaggerated wobble to his lips, he clung to you for hours. Some affection will make it all better!

Of course, when Megumi criticised his skills surrounding his infinity technique—because, really, how couldn’t it block a simple cabinet—the sorcerer opted to ignore him. He suspects there was some foul play at hand. 

“Barely,” he mutters, as the memory resurfaces. 

His teacher lets out a startled hum. “I’m sorry?”

“Nothing,” Megumi says quickly. He watches as she starts typing on her computer, and the realisation that she’s probably currently taking a look at his file isn’t a particularly welcome one. “What about my other guardian? Can I bring her, instead?”

“This event is geared towards fathers,” she explains. It’s obvious she forgot her reading glasses today, Megumi thinks, as she needs to narrow her eyes to read the screen in front of her. “I have one Satoru Gojo noted down as your male guardian. Surely, he will be able to attend.” 

Megumi pauses. He blinks up at her expressionlessly, and fights off the urge to push his teacher down a well. You often preach about being kind to others, and that wouldn’t be very kind. 

“Can’t I take my oth—”

“I’m afraid not,” she interrupts him before he even gets the sentence out. It irks him. Megumi isn’t fond of speaking to begin with, so when he does, he’d prefer not to be cut off halfway through. “An exception will not be made. Please, make sure to bring Gojo-san to school.” 

Megumi briefly, and for the very first time ever, mourns the fact that you and Satoru weren’t married. A small part of him calls the man a coward for not asking you to. If he’d simply taken the step, then Megumi would be able to pass you off as Gojo-san. Unfortunately, he can’t, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that there’s no way around this problem. 

“Fine,” he grumbles. It takes all of his remaining willpower to not stomp out of the classroom. Once again, he thinks of you. It’d be extremely bad manners. He can’t find it in himself to wish his teacher a nice day this time, though, and so she’ll have to make due with a slightly less polite Megumi for today. 

There’s nothing he can do about it. Satoru will have to come to the school. 

Megumi suddenly despises the idea of Career Day. 

“I need you to come to my school next week.” 

Immediately, all chatter around the dining table stops. For once, Megumi finds himself annoyed at the sudden appearance of silence. Before he said it, he knew his words would most likely have such an effect—he just didn’t expect it to be so instant. 

He tries his best to feign nonchalance, as if the topic that’s coming up didn’t make him feel stressed-out beyond belief. The confused, startled glances you and Satoru share don’t do much to help him, either. Perhaps it’s because Megumi is looking straight at him; him instead of you. Yeah, Satoru, he isn’t a fan of it, either. 

“Me?” The man asks then, and Megumi has to resist the urge to say, ‘no, I meant the snail in the backyard—yes, you,’ in the most sarcastic voice he can muster up. Satoru once again steals a look at you, ever so oblivious to Megumi's mental remarks. “Don’t you mean—” 

“I don’t,” Megumi cuts him off solemnly. His lips are pursed shut, and he pokes the slices of pork belly in his bowl with his chopsticks. One didn’t need to be of particularly high intelligence to notice the boy’s displeasure.  “I have to bring a male figure for Career Day.” 

It’s slow, the morphing of Satoru’s face, but it happens gradually and doesn’t stop until he’s positively beaming. Megumi doesn’t like it one bit. Nothing good happens when he looks like that, and he’s quite sure that all that will spew out of his mouth in a few seconds will be nothing except for pure nonsense. 

“Well, luckily, I will have the day off, then!” Satoru chimes, with a smile so wide it causes two dimples to appear on his cheeks. You copy his smile, and gently go to poke the little dent in his skin—Satoru lets you, as he always does. Megumi would think of it as cute if he weren’t so annoyed. “I will be there.” 

It seems he was right. Satoru’s words are pure nonsense.

“I didn’t tell you when,” he comments dryly. 

The sorcerer blinks. His smile is still on his face, but it’s fading, and the dimples do so with it. Your hand hovers halfway in the air, stuck with nothing to poke, and you slowly bring it back down to your side. It seems neither of you had taken time to think about that small fact—Megumi blames Satoru for dragging you down with him; him and those indentations in his cheek that you always seem to coo over. 

“Oh,” Satoru mumbles. A crease between his brows forms as his brain hurries to catch up with the newfound information. A few seconds pass, and then the previous bravado returns. “Well, it doesn’t matter! I can take the day off. When do you need me? Tell me, and I’ll be there.” 

Megumi very much doubts he can take days off all willy-nilly like that, especially after he pushed his workload onto someone else to attend his science fair last time, but then again, what does he know? If Satoru didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, then Megumi wasn’t about to break his own head doing so, either. 

“Next Friday,” he mumbles. From the tone of his voice, it’s quite clear that he’d rather be saying anything else. “We have to leave at eight a.m., please, be on time.”

“Sure thing!” Satoru chimes, and with that, Megumi thinks the dreaded conversation has finally come to an end. 

All in all—it could’ve gone worse. At least Satoru didn’t prolong it unnecessarily. Nor did he add a bunch of relentless teasing. He glances at the sorcerer. Satoru is happily munching on the dinner you’d prepared, both his cheeks stuffed full with entirely too much rice. It’s unbecoming, and a reflection of his poor manners, Megumi thinks, and he doesn’t understand how you look at the man with such hearts in your eyes. 

Though, your more than adequate cooking seems to have saved him from one of Satoru’s onslaughts. He’s grateful. Even if he doesn’t particularly enjoy the sight in front of him. 

“Hey, ‘toru?” You ask, breaking the silence with a slight hesitation to your voice. It nearly sounds nervous, and both Megumi and Tsumiki look up in alarm. Satoru hums, still chewing away. “What are you going to tell the class?”

Satoru stops eating. His chewing comes to a halt, and his chopsticks freeze in the air. A slice of pork drops from between them, and falls back into his bowl—It’s not hard to see the cogs turning in his head. “Uhm, I. . .” He swallows the food still in his mouth, and clears his throat. 

Right. It’s Career Day—but Satoru can’t tell a bunch of seven to eight-year-olds that he hunts and kills grimy, ugly, and freakishly scary curses for a living, now, can he? Megumi doesn’t think that would go over well with the other parents. The boy sighs. It’s just one thing after another. He grimly believes the world might just be out to get him. 

“I. . .Oh! I can tell them I’m a teacher,” his guardian scrambles for a solution, and Megumi can’t help but think it’s a little lack-lustre. Who would believe that guy is a teacher, anyway? Then again. . .Megumi doesn’t know a better fix for their current problem, either. He was so focused on the fact that it was Satoru that had to come to the school, he all but forgot about the fact that the dear thorn-in-his-side didn’t possess a normal job. “Suguru has told me a thing or two about his internship. I can take inspiration from there.”

Ah, yes. The famed Suguru Geto. Megumi has met him before. He hasn’t actually spoken to him, however. The man often visits, and has twin girls clinging to him when he does, and while Tsumiki seems to really like him—and them—Megumi doesn’t have an interest in seeking out some form of interaction, yet. Whenever he comes over, Megumi opts to hide in his room. Suguru never tries to disturb him, nor does he try to coax him into coming out. He’s very grateful for it. 

So, despite never speaking to him, Megumi knows about Suguru. Well, he knows enough. He knows Suguru went to school with the two of you, and he knows something really, very bad (nearly) happened that caused the man to take a step back from the world you all live in. What exactly happened (or what didn’t happen), Megumi doesn’t know for sure. You and Satoru almost never speak about it, and when you do, it’s in hushed voices—and you always stop immediately when he enters the room. 

But that’s okay. He doesn’t need to know. Suguru doesn’t force himself upon Megumi, and so he will extend him the same courtesy.  “I thought Geto-san wasn’t a teacher, yet?” Tsumiki speaks up from beside him, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “Mimi and Nana said he’s still learning. How can he be teaching, already?” 

“He’s not a teacher, yet, munchkin, well spotted,” Satoru answers with a proud grin. The nickname annoys Megumi—the feeling of irritation has been conditioned into his very being after Satoru chose it as the designated nickname for both of them. “An internship helps him build experience in the field. It means he is still learning, but he will do so while teaching.”

Tsumiki nods in understanding, her mouth opens and her lips curl into a small ‘ah’ as the information settles in. “So, you will pretend to be a teacher, then? At Megumi’s school?”

Satoru bites on his bottom lip, seemingly deep in thought. Seemingly—as Megumi is quite convinced he doesn’t ever think before he speaks. “I think so, yes,” he explains, and unknowingly retorates Megumi’s train of thoughts. How annoying. Satoru looks towards you for approval; it’s something he does very often. “It’s probably the safest route, no?”

“It’s our best option,” you say, and bring a thumb up to the corner of Satoru’s mouth. Gently, you wipe away a grain of rice stuck to his skin. It’s effortless, and nearly automated. Megumi wonders how many times you’ve had to do that. “Pretending to be a teacher shouldn’t be too difficult a task. Right, mochi?”

“Right,” Satoru echoes. His eyes track your every move, and the slight, pink colouring of his cheeks doesn’t seem to embarrass him even a little bit. Megumi thinks it should. Have some decorum. “I can do it, no problem.” 

“Alright then,” you say, and smile. First at Satoru, and then at Megumi. You look at the boy for a few seconds; you’re about to ask him if he’s okay with it. He knows you are, because you always do. “Is that okay for you, Megumi?” It’s like clockwork, almost. 

Megumi feels the need to answer with something snarky. Something akin to the sound of ‘What choice do I have?’ but he doesn’t—because you’re being kind, and you don’t deserve such a response. So, instead he turns towards Satoru.

“. . .Just don’t mess it up.” 

Satoru delivers a whole spiel about how ‘he’d never do that’ and that he’s ‘more than capable’ of telling a little white lie, but Megumi dilutes it to background noise rather quickly. He continues sputtering his nonsense when Megumi and Tsumiki stand up to clear the table, and still hasn’t stopped even when you and him start loading the dishwasher together—Megumi chooses to seek reprieve in his room while he’s distracted. 

It isn’t until many hours later, when Megumi leaves the sanctuary of his room to swipe a quick snack from the kitchen, that he first hears Satoru speak about something other than his great, and very much sufficient, ‘capabilities’. Your voices are muffled, and Megumi has to focus to make out your words. His soft, inaudible padding down the illuminated hallways comes to a halt. As if that would make his ears function better. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Satoru?”

The boy frowns. With such gentleness in your voice, it’s hard to identify the worry lingering beneath the surface. Megumi moves a bit closer. He stops one step shy of bumping into the wooden surface, and peeks through the groove. The door is ajar—it’s something that allows him to watch how your eyes follow Satoru’s large frame as he paces around the room. It’s strange. Seeing him so. . .frazzled. 

Satoru nods. “I can do this, I know I can,” he says, and quits his pacing to look at you. Megumi can’t see his face, but he can see yours. He might as well not have, though, as he can’t make out the emotion that fills your eyes. It’s not one he himself has in his repertoire, that he knows for sure. “He never asks me for anything, princess. I have to do this right.” 

Ah, this isn’t a conversation Megumi is meant to hear. He should probably seize his eavesdropping, he thinks, and winces a little when he properly analyses Satoru’s words. They’re truthful. Megumi doesn’t go to him when he needs something. His first thought is to go to you—and his second, Tsumiki. And if he’s being honest anyway, his third thought very likely isn’t Satoru, either; He’d try to solve it on his own if it came down to it. Megumi frowns again. He doesn’t like how that realisation makes him feel. 

A careful shuffle of footsteps breaks him free from his thoughts. Megumi looks up, and catches how you place a hand on Satoru’s cheek. “I’m sure you’ll do great, baby,” you mumble. There’s a small, soft smile on your lips, one that quickly makes way for the peck Satoru places upon them. 

“Thank you,” Satoru whispers. One of his hands reaches for yours, and Megumi suddenly feels as if he’s intruding on something when the man brings them up to his lips to press a tender kiss to them. Okay, no, definitely intruding—ew. 

The boy scrunches his nose up in disgust, and hurriedly darts back towards his room. Suddenly, he has lost his appetite for a late-evening snack. Megumi lets out a deep sigh once he’s all tucked into his sheets again. Perhaps giving Satoru a shot wouldn’t be that big of a problem. Just one, though.

. . .Yeah, just one should be enough.

It’s the final, conclusive thought Megumi has before dozing off to sleep. Blissfully unaware of the conversation you and Satoru share—now behind a very closed door.

You stifle a giggle. The disappearance of Megumi’s presence outside your bedroom was quick and rampant as soon as Satoru started to kiss your hands. Something the sorcerer did very deliberately. It’s as if the boy suddenly forgot about the very special, very effective pair of eyes his guardian possesses. And with a cursed energy output such as Megumi’s, it would be hard not to recognise his presence.

“You did that on purpose,” you comment. “How cruel of you, mochi.”

Satoru hums, and kisses the inside of your wrist. “Maybe, the little brat shouldn’t eavesdrop, then,” he defends himself. There isn’t an inkling of guilt to be seen on his pretty face.

. . .Though, both of you still take some extra care to shut the door next time.

Megumi faithfully believes that, as of today, he has used-up all of his luck for the next five, no, ten years. It can only go downhill from here. For some inexplicable, mind-boggling reason—Satoru is actually pulling this off. That’s not all; he’s not merely winging it, he’s genuinely doing well. The boy can’t quite believe his eyes.

When he’d walked to the front with such an overexaggerated pep in his step, and an overabundance of bravado rolling off of him in waves—Megumi couldn’t help but watch on with a grim look, and a healthy dose of negative thoughts. It only amplified the nerves he’d collected so far during the walk to school. Somehow, watching Satoru give your flashcards a frantic do-over did very little to ease his bubbling anxiety.

There were many of them, flashcards that is. All possible questions his peers or his teacher could ever think of are written on those little pieces of cardboard. Courtesy of you, and your boyfriend. Megumi’s able to recall all those nights the two of you spend at the kitchen table—practising. He thought it was silly at the time.

But, as it turns out, it works.

Satoru is fun. To other people; Megumi doesn’t share the sentiment. Against all odds, he’s dynamic, and speaks with conviction. His flamboyant hand gestures have others think of them as amusing—captivating, even. Satoru is talking, and they’re all hanging onto his every word. No matter the fact that they’re all cleverly disguised lies.

Megumi can’t wrap his head around it. He doesn’t need to, however. If anything, he’s relieved that his peers think of his guardian as cool. While he certainly does not share the opinion, he isn’t too dense to admit that such a belief will save him a lot of embarrassment in the future. So, for this one, single day, he will let Satoru Gojo be cool. His snarky comments can resume tomorrow.

“Ah, it seems you have a deep love for your profession, Gojo-san,” his teacher says. She interrupts Satoru’s rant, and catches his attention as well as Megumi’s. Her voice is light and airy, and carries nothing that should cause him to fear the worst. Still, the boy feels on edge. “Though, I don’t remember the grade you are teaching. Could you tell us, again?”

Ah, and there it goes. The very first card in the elaborately built castle of lies.

Satoru pauses. A second passes, and then two, and three, and so on. He doesn’t speak for a good thirty, and Megumi can nearly see his mind leaf through his beloved flashcards—flashcards that are now neatly tucked into his pockets and entirely out of reach. That’s good. Because the absolute last thing Satoru should do now, is resort back to the flashcards.

Megumi shakes his head no as a signal.

“Ah,” Satoru says. “I teach kindergarten.”

Satoru didn’t catch the hint. Megumi wishes the ground would swallow him up. It would have been the correct answer—it is the answer that’s written on the flashcards—if Satoru hadn’t decided to go off route. Getting too caught up in the story he’d been free-writing, and allowing himself to get carried away by the looks of awe is resulting in his downfall, which, consecutively, will end with Megumi’s downfall, as well.

“Huh? But! What about the science experiment that exploded?” One of the children in his class whines. “I didn’t get to do that in kindergarten!”

“And the backflip you taught your students!”

“What about the first prize in the talent show? I thought your students were famous!”

The little bit of colour that normally resides in Satoru’s face steadily disappears, and he clenches his fist at his side. Ah, it’s great to know he’s at least aware of his mistake. That won’t help either of them at the moment, though. Megumi’s eyebrows furrow, and a feeling of distress overtakes him. It shows on his face. He doesn’t exactly go through the trouble of trying to hide it—there are bigger problems right now.

How utterly humiliating to be caught lying.

Satoru’s eyes find him. They’re just as troubled as his own. It worsens his anxiety.

“Oh, uhm, you see. . .” Satoru stammers, and Megumi’s stomach churns when the children around them continue to ask more and more questions. The wince his guardian lets out does little to soothe him. Megumi sighs, and looks at the ground. “Ah, I see. It seems you guys saw right through me.”

Megumi slides down in his seat. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, the ground would absorb him. It’s currently looking like a preferable fate.

“. . .I’m actually a detective.”

Oh, Jesus Christ.

“And. . .And for a detective, it’s very important to listen to what people say, because they could be lying!”

It’s a sad, pathetic excuse for a save. Megumi briefly ponders the distance between his seat and the door. Perhaps he could make a run for it. The subway station is very close by—getting on and travelling to an entirely new city to start a new life doesn’t seem like such a bad option. He sighs. No, that’s not possible. You and Tsumiki would be very worried. What else is there to do, though?

“You all picked up on my lie, which tells me every single one of you could make a great detective in the future.”

Megumi thinks Satoru might have some underlying mental problems. Though, they can’t possibly be as severe as the problems his classmates have—for they all believe the nonsense he’s giving them. Bright eyes, filled with hope and admiration, stare up at the man at the front of the class; impressed hums and entertained smiles get passed between the parents standing at the edge of the room. And Satoru, well, he seems entirely too proud of the fact that he made a bunch of children think they’re destined for a career in law enforcement. But, be that as it may, it works.

The children stir up unrest—the good kind this time, the kind that vocalises their excitement—and all rush to ask the detective a question. But, before they can even open their mouths, Satoru claps his hands together. It seems he has decided enough is enough, and it’s one of those very rare moments where Megumi agrees with him. The boy needs this to be over already.

“Alright, that’s it for today,” Satoru says, and feigns disappointment. He pretends to be affected by the sad groans of the children—keyword being pretend, as to the trained eye it’s quite clear that he wishes to leave. “I’m not allowed to tell you more.”

Ah, see, now that’s a good card.

“Wait, but, what about. . .”

“Ah, sorry, that’s confidential. Detective stuff, y’know?”

Confidential. Megumi thinks that might just be his new favourite word. The lingering feeling of anxiety slowly starts to subside with every step Satoru takes towards the back of the room—to the back, and away from the spotlight. His eyes follow the man’s large frame, but Satoru never chooses to look at him in return. His line of sight is firmly focused on the floor. It confuses Megumi, but he chalks it up to a mere whim.

All things considered (and minus the near cardiac arrest he went through), today went pretty well, after all. Much to his surprise.

Perhaps Megumi doesn’t hate Career Day. A strong dislike is more like it.

Megumi can’t count the times he wished for Satoru to be quiet. The exact number is much like the digits of Pi—huge, and absolutely never-ending. He can, however, count the times he didn’t wish for him to be quiet. As of today, that stands at a very solid one.

The birds around them chirp, and the bustle of other people is heard all around them—but they’re the only sounds gracing his ears. There is none of Satoru’s incessant chatter, nor is there even a glimmer of gloating about a job well-done. It’s eerily silent, and Megumi isn’t sure what to make of it. This isn’t quite how he imagined the walk home to go. Far from it, if he’s being honest.

“What’s up with you?”

It’s possibly the first time Megumi decides to break the silence, ever. The boy frowns, and fiddles with the straps of his backpack. There isn’t a middle-ground with Satoru, he has found out. Either he speaks entirely too much, or unnervingly little. There’s a tiny pebble in his path, and Megumi feels the need to kick it forward—so he does.

“I kind of messed up there, huh?”

The kick doesn’t have nearly enough force to it. Megumi watches as the little rock skips forward. Once, twice, and then it comes to a standstill again. “Yeah, kind of,” he agrees.

“I’m sorry,” Satoru rushes out. It’s said so fast, as if it physically pains him to say it. Perhaps it does. It’s sincere, however. There isn’t even a hint of a joke to be found. Something must be bothering him. “It didn’t go how I wanted it to go, and I don’t know why I went astray, and forgot about the cards. It—well, it was pretty stupid.”

Megumi doesn’t exactly feel the need to deny it.

“So, I get it, okay?” He continues, seeing the boy’s silence as an empty space for more conversation—more rambling. Since that’s what it is; rambles, plain and simple. Megumi doesn’t see the need for such a fuss. “I shouldn’t have strayed from the plan, and. . .”

“It’s fine.”

Satoru blinks at him. “What?”

“I said it’s fine,” Megumi repeats. Because it really is fine. Admittedly, it wasn’t smart of Satoru to all but discard your carefully planned presentation, but it ended well enough regardless. No harm, no foul. “Thank you for coming.”

That small, short sentence is enough to stop Satoru in his tracks. Megumi doesn’t, however. The man is very tall, he’s sure to catch up in a jiffy; he doesn’t need him to wait. There’s another small silence, though this one feels a lot more comfortable than the last. Satoru takes his time to process, and Megumi lets him.

“W—What?” The sorcerer stammers in shock. There is no need for Megumi to turn around and see—he can hear the smile curling onto his lips. “Did you just. . .”

“I won’t say it again,” Megumi grumbles definitively, and picks up his pace. The very tips of his ears heat up, and the apples of his cheeks turn red. The feeling of embarrassment. This wasn’t exactly how he’d envisioned it to appear when the day started.

Satoru attempts to run after him, to catch up. “Megumi!” He calls out, the very prominent, very familiar whiney lilt now back in his voice. Megumi didn’t miss it. “Wait for me, I didn’t hear you! Could you repeat that?”

“Yes, you did!” Megumi says, and throws him an annoyed glance from over his shoulder. He tightens his hold on the straps of his backpack. “Stop lying.”

“Nuh uh!”

“What are you? Six?”

Satoru’s toothy grin is infuriating. But—it’s familiar. And Megumi discovers he’s much more at ease when that grin is on display, than when the man in question is moping around. It’s a lot less alarming.

“And a half,” Satoru adds.

The scowl that’s on Megumi’s face appears almost instantly when he goes to ruffle his hair. For a man whose technique largely surrounds being untouchable, he has a surprising lack of awareness concerning this thing called personal space.

“Ugh,” Megumi groans, and pushes him off. It doesn’t work. Satoru gravitates towards him again—almost as if he’s a magnet. He doesn’t attempt to move a second time. In moments like these, it’s best to let Satoru get it all out of his system. “You’re so stupid.”

It’s true. He does think Satoru is stupid, but he can’t deny it—Satoru tried his very best today, and in the days prior. Which makes him one of the very small, barely existent group of people who have done so for him.

It seems one shot was enough, after all.

© MADE BY SANATOMIS — please, refrain from stealing, copying, or reposting any of my works.

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[dexterthewolf]

Im a sucker for rarer-pairs.

Steddie? No, Stonathan.

Harringrove? No, Stommy.

Ronance? No, Nancy x Eden.

Rockie? No, Rissy.

Byler? No, Henderclair.

[vexture]

For the fic writer ask game: 💘💥💎💌

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write

Outside of almost all of my JtHM works, there is the singular fic I made for the AHS fandom that I posted, that I know now (as a more seasoned writer) has a lot of issues, and even though I posted it when I was 14 or something, I still wince at my past self a little, I was in a really bad place. I still love AHS, I'm just not tuned in enough to the lore and shit to actually rewrite it without making a mess of myself. Eventually though!

💥Find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it

I have quite a few under 5 kudos that span some years, but the one with only a single kudos (no accompanying bookmarks or comments) is for the Azure series I dropped after I realized oc/canon content really isn't liked in the JtHM fandom (unless it's Scriabin) so it only got two works, and one person liked both (thank you vampriejunkie).

I really liked the concept that Edgar has a guardian angel, that follows him through each death he has. It was supposed to be this whole thing where the angel, Azure, partners with him and he gets a happy ending and actually lives past 21-25. There are so many ideas I still have for the both of them, and I drew vv rad art of Azure a few times. But I won't be doing anything for JtHM unless specifically requested anymore, so I don't think Azure will be picked up again.

💎Why is writing important to you?

It's gotten me through years of emotional neglect and abuse, and it shows (most of which was posted to Wattpad, yes, I'm serious.) If you take a look at how I used to do things in fic (if you can find it) you can see almost exactly what I read in fandom, what I took from it, and how long I had that mentality for. I used to think a whole host of things were okay as long as it was happening to me (which resulted in many friends distancing and leaving, in turn unintentionally worsening the behaviour) because I was groomed by family and family friends into believing it was okay (I used to be heavily into Supernatural, take a wild guess on what I thought was okay without any consideration that it was my situation at the time that influenced my response to people telling me no, it wasn't.) and that shaped how I wrote.

It was my only outlet because being on US disability benefits ™ in one of the lowest ranking states when it comes to mental health is the worst. After years of therapists and social workers that were only with me for a few months at a time kept leaving, I turned to writing. I'm finally in a spot (while still not ideal) where I can actually engage with art and writing in a more balanced way, because learning how to not digitally self harm was extremely difficult to do by myself, but I did it, even if there are slip ups sometimes (which is normal, just like any negative coping mechanism/addiction recovery) and I still write very angsty things, but at least I know what I'm doing with the themes I want to present now, and I'll learn with the ones I don't.

💌Share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Friend Carmen has read over a current Monster fic involving Wolfgang, that I'm not done with, but I'm extremely excited to see where it goes! I also have one in the works with Steiner and Dieter, that I'm almost done with, and should be posted eventually. I miss writing for Monster, but the little meow meows of the Revachol Citizens Militia have me by the neck rn, so those will be a while yet. I have so many Monster wips actually, maybe I'll pick one up and dust it off in the meantime to throw seeds at my friends (affectionate).

[tartagilicious]

[CN] Kiro’s “Happy Catcher” date (eng) PART ONE 🍓

this was the most annoying thing to post, but thankfully, I’m able to post it as long as I break it up! I’m sorry for the long wait, Tumblr has been giving me difficulties recently — but I hope this translation can make up for it! you can find victor’s over at @cheri-translates​ ^^

--

PART ONE vv

The weather today seems exceptionally good. The sunlight illuminates the whole living room through the windows without any hesitation. Watching the green leaves on the balcony glowing in a faint golden light, my frown that was originally hard set finally loosened a little.

But then my eyes fell on the computer screen, and I couldn’t help sighing again.

MC: The project this time has really wiped out my free will…

Some time ago, I did a long-term strategic analysis . In order to make corresponding adjustments, I took over this very difficult project. Unexpectedly, after half a month, I was helpless.

I took a deep breath and picked up my mobile phone, trying to take a short break to ease my anxieties about work.

“Ding dong!” A text message appears before my eyes ---

Kiro: Come on, Miss Potato Chips! ^^

That bright face seemed to pass through these short characters, appearing in front of me. The mood became clear for a moment, but the next second became complicated. I originally made an appointment with Kiro to go out together today. But, because of work, I had to cancel the trip.

MC: Ok, see you next week!

I took a deep breath after pressing send, continuing to type the mountain of information into the keyboard. Just solve these difficult tasks, and you can go to Kiro.

Thinking of this, the speed of my typing on the keyboard has increased a lot in both of my hands.

Tap tap --- tap --

At this time, there was an irregular knock on the door, and the familiar rhythm made me react instantly. I went quickly to open the door, and found a cute teddy bear on the ground. I made the mistake of touching the recording switch when I picked it up.

Little bear: Hi, I am Little Bear! There will be surprises when you pinch my nose!

A familiar sound was emitted from the teddy bear’s body, and even though it was changed, I could recognise it at once.

I couldn’t help laughing out loud. I reached out and pinched its nose.

Suddenly, a touch of gold appeared in my sight. Not waiting for my reaction, I was quickly drawn into a passionate embrace.

Kiro: Look, I didn’t lie to you! You pinched its nose and I appeared~~

MC: It really is you! Why are you here?

Kiro released me and put his hands behind his back, looking at me with shiny eyes.

Kiro: Because I received a call from Miss Potato Chips, I want to do something for you.

As he talked, a small card was pushed into my hand. When I looked down, my eyes met a handwritten line--

Happiness Catcher -- Mr. Zhou Qiluo.

Kiro: I am now an excellent Happiness Catcher. According to my “survey”, for some reason, ___’s happiness isn’t in her home.

MC: What?

Kiro nodded. The golden tips of his hair danced up and down with his nodding movement like a faeries’.  

Kiro: In order to not cause a catastrophe, we have to find it quickly. So without further ado, let’s go now!

At his urging, I quickly packed up in confusion before being pulled out.

PART TWO vv

On the way, no matter how hard I tried, Kiro wouldn’t tell me where he was taking me. A mysterious look on his face gives me high expectations for this “journey”.

Finally, we came to the entrance of Mi Xue forest. I saw him touching his chin pretentiously. His eyes squinted, and even his nose trembled slightly. He seems to be searching for something.

Kiro: According to my professional analysis, it should have escaped to here. This is absolutely correct.

MC: You said the word “Happy Catcher”... How do we get it back?

Kiro: Of course, the most primitive and concise method is used.

The next second, he showed a sly smile. His hands made a horn around his mouth, and then he took a sharp breath--

Kiro: ___’s happiness, where are you, come out quickly!!!

His voice echoed in the forest. Except for the flock of birds that were frightened into escaping, there was silence all around. I can’t help looking at him a little jokingly.

MC: This simple and concise method doesn’t seem to work, but it does at least scare most nearby birds away.

Kiro: Because I want to find her happiness quickly, little birds, I’m not sorry!

He stuck out his tongue playfully at the sky. Then, putting his hand into a trump-like shape again, he put them up to my mouth.

Kiro: I’ve found the key to the question. It seems that only you, the master, can call it. It may appear then.

MC: Still, towards…

Seeing the expectant look, I could only swallow what I originally wanted to say halfway through.

MC: ...My happiness…. Where are you?

Kiro: Only I can hear you at this volume. Let’s shout together?

He looked at me seriously, and I blinked. Seeing this gorgeous smiling face, I nodded.

Kiro: Let me count down! 3, 2, 1--

With the countdown falling, the voices of Kiro and I resounded throughout the forest. It seems that the traces of depression that had hidden before had also been vented from my heart.

Kiro: ___, look, there seems to be movement in the grass ahead!

As soon as I turned my head, I seemed to see Kiro’s hand waving quickly near the grass. I walked towards it in a few steps and commented that I saw a crumpled ball of paper lying in the centre.

MC: This is…?

Kiro: Open it and take a look. Maybe there’s a clue!

Looking at his excited expression, even if I have one or two guesses in my heart, I still look forward to opening the little ball of paper.

MC: Close your eyes and take a deep breath three times beneath the sky?

Kiro leaned over and read the contents of the paper ball with me. He pretended to be clueless, which made me laugh secretly in my heart. The acting is pretty decent….

But in order to cooperate with the careful arrangement of the “Happy Catcher”, I still closed my eyes obediently,  my chest slowly lifting. I take a breath and another one, and clearly smell the fragrance of vegetation. The soil under my feet seemed to become soft, and my entire person was immersed in a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere.

I think I understand the purpose of this direction.

However, in the last breath, a soft and hot flush fell on my face. Before I opened my eyes, a soft whisper slowly sounded in my ears.

Kiro: Congratulations to ___ for triggering an additional reward.

I opened my eyes. Kiro seemed just as innocent as he had when I closed them, so it seems that the moment just now was a sweet “sign”.

Kiro: Just when you completed those instructions, I found another clue!

Kiro proudly pointed to the bushes not far away, like a playful teenager who couldn’t wait to claim credit. But, looking at his bulging pockets, I can’t help but tease him.

MC: Your pocket is bulging today, have you hidden a lot of good things?

[not me laughing at this line omg]

Kiro: No, it’s all the things that make you happy.

He nodded calmly and admitted this without concealing anything. Such a straightforward attitude stunned me, and I hurried down to pick up the second paper ball-

….%....&%¥……%¥

[that’s what the screen says I swear, it’s not just keysmash lolol]

I looked at the symbols on the paper ball in shock. Kiro quickly noticed my expression.

Kiro: Oops! I threw the wrong one!

Hurriedly, Kiro picked out a handful of paper balls from his pocket, and rooted through them one by one. I turned my head and found that each piece of paper was full of different instructions, seemingly to be prepared to deal with many different situations.

After me, Kiro turned around. He noticed my eyes filled with curiosity. Finally, one of his fingers landed on a piece of paper. He gave a satisfied and mysterious smile.

Kiro: Although it was a small accident that just happened, the clue was still “found” by us!

A wrinkled note appeared in front of my eyes -- follow me with a piece of mind!

In the next second, Kiro slowly opened his palm to me, as if to echo the instructions on the note. I clasped his hand tightly without hesitation, and held it in the air.

MC: All of my actions are subjected to Kiro’s command!

[harinawa]

Hello! You said you were open to people just coming here to talk about their wips sooo....

I have two writing wips atm, but the one I'm most excited about right now is a third one which is a podcast I'm making called "Little Shadows" that'll premiere on YouTube on Halloween (if it all goes according to plan🤞). Is a horror and fiction podcast in the form of an anthology of short stories. I'm super excited about it!!

Oh wow a podcast 🤯🤯🤯 I just checked out your separate blog for Little Shadows and it sounds vv cool!! Horror anthologies!! I've always thought it's a fun concept to explore, especially when it touches unknown or unexplored cultures and traditions. Maybe it's the season but lately the content I consume have a lot of horror themes too, and I love that you coincided your premiere with Halloween that seems very apt XD Anw I have a short attention span these days so I find it a little difficult to focus on series-type content, but I promise I'll be on the lookout and hopefully be able to tune in for your premiere!

Best of luck on this WIP, and thank you SO much for sending an ask! xx

[hotmail11]

Hotmail login, Hotmail sign in guide - Hotmail.com

With so many Webmail options available today, it is hard to decide which one best satisfies your needs and provides  www.hotmail.com a reliable and secure experience. Outlook.com, Hotmail, Live, and MSN 365 accounts are powered by Outlook.com. If you are not a Windows Live Hotmail or Outlook user, here are some useful facts that may add many tips for thought about this mail service.

Windows Live Hotmail Messenger provides A-level security with the use of HyperText Transfer Protocol Secure (HTTPS). Now, if you are not familiar with HTTPS, this is basically saying that messages sent or received through Windows Live Hotmail is encrypted, thereby securing your information from unwanted listeners or hackers. For customers, your personal information is important and you should be at ease when sending and retrieving your personal content. (Wikipedia)

Windows Live Hotmail is more than just sending and receiving email messages. Once you are a current account holder of a Hotmail account, your email account is used as your Windows Live ID thereby allowing you to experience a variety of services offered by Microsoft. This and the fact that you can access your account anywhere, at any time and from any location from your mobile device or from your Windows or Mac computer. Mobile technology has gone through great leaps and bounds for users to enjoy and take full advantage of being mobile. Enjoy this experience with a Windows Live Hotmail account.

What is Hotmail?

Get the Outlook app: The first thing you would want to do is to download the Outlook App which is easy to find in your Google Play Store or App store. Enter your Hotmail email address: Browse through your mobile apps and launch your Outlook app. Go to Settings Then Add Account. The next step is to enter your full Hotmail email in the field provided then tap Continue. @hotmail.com or @outlook.com: Please ensure you have included the “@hotmail.com or @outlook.com” extension in your email address before you Tap Continue.

Enter your email address password: On the next screen, you will be required to enter your password for Hotmail email account. Enter your email account password and tap Sign in or Next. What is done to my personal content? Syncing and more: Outlook requires permission to sync your personal content such as your calendar, contacts and more. To allow the app to sync your data, Tap Yes or Allow to give the Outlook App permission to start the syncing process. This allows your data to be available seamlessly from any of your devices.

There you go, finally! Once you have completed the above-mentioned steps, you are now ready to use Outlook for Android. Enjoy the experience. Login to your Hotmail account via a mobile device

Your Hotmail email account can be accessed via your mobile device or through a web browser from your Windows computer or Mac OS computer. The set of instructions provided below will guide you through the login process. How to sign in to Hotmail.com or Outlook.com?

Launch your web browser and login: 

Firstly, you need to launch your Windows or Mac web browser. Once you have successfully done so, go to the Hotmail login in page: https://outlook.live.com/owa/ - Click Sign in. Enter your email address and password: Once you have reached the Outlook sign-in page, you need to enter your Hotmail email address followed by your password then click Next.

Congratulations, you have signed in: On the next page, select Sign In. Feel free to explore the services that are available to you. Login to Hotmail, Outlook using a Windows or Mac web browser

Hotmail Sign in problems - Recover account of hotmail

Having to remember passwords of many different accounts or setting passwords which are too difficult to remember,..vv. Those are some reasons that make you forget your account information and can not log in to your account.

Hotmail sign in problems

Hotmail (Outlook) provides you with 3 ways to get back your account as well as password by using your phone number,alternative email address, personal information which you had used when registering… How to recover your Hotmail account - Reset a Lost Hotmail Password So, you shouldn't have to worry too much about not being able to get back your Hotmail account. Recovering Hotmail, Outlook is very fast and easy now.

Recover your Hotmail account

Questions you might ask

Q - How do I sign out of Hotmail? A - Click your profile picture in the top, right corner of the menu bar, and click Sign out.

Q - How do I find the Options menus? A - Click Settings located at the top, right menu bar. There, you will be provided with several links to change options in Hotmail to modify your view.

Q - What is the best way to attach a photo to a message or calendar event? A – When you create a new message or calendar event, click on the Picture icon above the message text area. Browse to a location on your computer for the photo or use the cloud storage option to insert the photo in the message.

Q - When reading email, I don’t see the up and down arrows to read the previous or next message.   A - The up and down arrows and other features of the menu bar should always be present for you to view. If you are not seeing the arrows, then you should try resizing the browser to a smaller size and then back to your preferred setting. The Outlook team is also working on a fix to solve this issue.

[jess-dw-sherman]

Media Switchup 2 - TikTok

For this week’s media switch-up I chose TikTok. Personally, I’ve never really used the app before this week. I downloaded it around a month ago, but only because one of my best friends kept texting me videos and it was annoying to be redirected to a site each time I wanted to watch them. Overall, this was going to be essentially a completely new app for me. Before starting the assignment for the week, I asked that friend why she used the app so much and she responded, “I like TikTok because it distracts me from all the stress around us…and I can tune out for just a second and don’t get trapped watching things for hours like I would a TV show I’d have to binge.” Almost exclusively based on her comments and videos she’d sent me in the past, I expected a fun app with quick and funny videos. 

This was the first time I’d opened the app without being sent there, and I quickly realized I wasn’t following any accounts or topics, so my feed was essentially random. The content format is only videos, with the option to some text in the description or certain parts of the video. 

Diversity Among Users 

After going to the Discover section, I was able to scroll through different topics and their related videos, and the diversity in users was immediately clear. While on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram I really only see videos from people or brands that I’ve already chosen to follow, it was great to see such a variety of topics and people. 

Racial Diversity

On platforms like LinkedIn and Facebook, people tend to follow others who look like them or come from similar backgrounds, and this unconscious choice leads to much less diversity in the information and opinions that they see. While I was able to choose categories that interest me on TikTok, I was presented with a much more diverse selection. I also was able to follow #DiverseVoices to ensure that I continue to see content from different backgrounds and cultures. 

A wide range of ages 

One thing that did surprise me was the range of ages that I saw in users. From an age perspective, most users did seem to be between the ages of 15-30 something, but also a large older population aged between 45-60. This reflects user data reported as of March 2019, which shows that 50 percent of users are ages 18-34 and over 26 percent of users are between 45-64. This is similar to Facebook in some ways – the main users are the same age range – but a much larger percentage of users on TikTok are between 45-64, while only around 8 percent of Facebook users fall in that age range. I quickly found some really cute accounts from people in the older demographic, like @yourkoreandad and @grannycoybundy that had really positive and wholesome videos covering a range of topics, from cooking to advice with dancing. 

General Content

The overall content was as I expected: fun, funny, and cute videos. There seemed to be a lot of videos on specific topics, like cooking, makeup, and opinions. It was fun to see opinion videos on really obscure topics, like using Oxford commas. That one was personally appealing to me because I can’t stand it when people don’t use Oxford commas and the video completely embodied my (strong) feelings on the topic.

Risks in this type of video clip sharing

One thing that did come to my attention during my research on TikTok (and as mentioned by @grannycoybundy) was the difficulty of regulating content, especially for younger and vulnerable users. There have been multiple instances of videos of suicides being shared, and the platform has been unable to completely block the spread of these videos. Because of the way the clips are formatted, even if the explicit video itself has been deleted, there are users who have been inserting clips of the video into their post, so viewers see it unexpectedly while they are watching a normal video. This is actually a huge detracting factor for me; one of my family members committed suicide a few months ago, and it is still something that is hard for me to deal with and think about, even to write it in a post like this. Unintentionally watching a real video of someone harming themselves could and likely would have an immediate and detrimental impact on myself or anyone in a similar situation.

Companies using TikTok

It was surprisingly tough to find companies that are using TikTok. I did see some ads from the NFL and Cheerios when I first open the app, but I wasn’t sure how to find others besides searching names of every company I know and seeing if they have an account. It seems like it is relatively new for companies, and I ended up searching online to find some that used it. After looking at a few different corporate accounts, I did find that the most successful ones are using the platform for mostly up-beat, fun videos. A good example is Calvin Klein (CK) versus Vineyard Vines (VV). I’ve always thought of VV as a more niche, preppy brand, while CK seems like it has more widespread appeal. However, VV has been much more successful on TikTok, in large part because their videos are fun and cute (like a giant dancing pink whale, which is their logo) versus CK’s more serious content. VV has also run campaigns that directly involve their followers, such as #vvcheck, in which users can post a video of all their VV apparel.

More serious content for causes

While I had expected most of the videos to be fun and lighthearted, there were some more serious sections, such as #blacklivesmatter. While some of these videos did contain humor, the subject matter was serious and often had an intended message. I think TikTok is a great option for the BLM movement especially because of how it is often misrepresented in the media. News outlets tend to show only violent events when actually 95% of protests have been peaceful. 

TikTok gives people a platform where they can share their videos of the protests that give a more accurate depiction to a wider audience. It also provides an opportunity for people to explain difficult topics from their personal experiences, like institutionalized racism or police violence, in a short and easy to consume way that is easy to consume for people who would not normally read a full article or study on the topic.

There were also some really heart-wrenching posts from people of color, especially one parents posted of their 10-year-old daughter’s reaction to learning that she could be killed for the color of their skin. Because we can see personal stories rather than secondhand reports or recounting in a formal setting, I think TikTok provides an easier way for privileged groups to understand the everyday difficulties that BIPOC individuals face.

Final thoughts

Overall, I really enjoyed using this platform. I found it really easy to get sucked in and often caught myself watching videos for 30 minutes instead of the original 5 minutes I’d planned. (fortunately, because this is for a class, I could tell myself that I was actually being productive!) As my friend had said, it is an easy way for me to take a break from the stresses of daily life and relax for a few minutes. The length of the videos makes them easy to watch and follow, so I can take just a few minutes. It is also a good way for me to see more diverse content on important topics from real people when I would otherwise be seeing mostly news articles and rants on Facebook. Also, in the current environment of quarantine, it is a nice way to feel connected to people even if you can’t leave the house. The lack of control on viewing explicit content does concern me, but I also don’t think TikTok would be as effective if their videos were too restricted. There were also some hard-to-watch videos that I think it was important for me to see in order to better understand other people’s experiences. So far, my experience with TikTok was largely positive – I noticed that I’ve already started using it multiple times a day, so it will likely remain a permanent app on my phone.

Sources: 

BusinessofApps: TikTok and Facebook user data

ACLE Data: Political Violence in America

CBS News

[riverdamien]

Taming the Tongue

Session 6: Taming the Tongue: James 3:1-18 3 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life,[a] and set on fire by hell.[b] 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,[c] these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. Wisdom from Above 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. I am often asked about my early life. In thinking about those first eighteen years the key moments had to do with my three pastors (teachers): David, Claude, and Bill. All three were pastors who nourished and supported me through the trials of adolescence. I learned how to be a pastor through their example--to listen, to care, and to support. None of them pretended to be perfect, they showed their faults, their weaknesses, but each one continued to love, and show an example of the face of Jesus. All three are in that Great Cloud of Witnesses now, and I hear their voices, see their smiles, and feel their love. For each one loved me in season and out of season. Each one taught me that when someone you trust says one or two sentences, doors to new worlds can be opened. OPENING How have one or two teachers had a significant impact on you, perhaps even affecting directions you have taken? STUDY 1. Read James 3:1-12. Having begun with a somber warning about how difficult it is to come up to the mark as a teacher, James expands the point of taming the tongue in general: taming the tongue in general, for anyone, is so difficult as to be almost impossible. Get that right and you've obviously got your entire self under control. The tongue, it seems, is the last bit of a human being to learn its lesson. How does James say in verses 3-4 that the tongue is like a bit and a rudder? Each time I read this passage I feel guilty, for the times I let stuff slip, the items written on social media when I was sick, depressed, or angry, and the reality we will continue to slip, and the tongue will burn like a fire. In my dealings with others and with myself I am reminded of Matthew 18:21-22: "Then Peter came to Jesus. "Master," he said, "how many times must I forgive my brother and sister, when he or she sins against me? As many as seven times" "I wouldn't say seven times", replied Jesus. "Why not seventy times seven?' 2. We know only too well how the tongue is a fire (v. 5), ready to set things a blaze, from the way the media, social media, fake mail, eagerly trips up people in public life. We know that one word out of place can ruin a career, or bring down a government. One unwise remark, reported and circulated on the internet and through social media can cause riots on the other side of the world. So, says James, the tongue is like a little world all of its own, a country within a country: the larger area, the person as a whole, may well be governed, but in this smaller region corruption and wickedness reign unchecked. When have you seen or experienced significant damage by words? 3. How does James explain the outrageousness of the inconsistencies of the tongue? (vv. 9-12). 4. What James is after, then, is consistency. He wants people to follow Jesus through and through, to be a blessing- -only people rather than blessing--and--cursing people. It is a high standard, we should expect no less if the gospel is indeed the message of salvation. The danger, as always, is that people will take the bits of the message they want, and quietly leave the real challenges to one side. But it can't be done. The spring must be cleansed so that only fresh, sweet water comes out. For this we need help. That, fortunately, is what the gospel offers. In what specific ways could you bless friends, enemies, family, coworkers, fellow Christians, those of other faiths, and those who do not believe more consistently? 5. How does this passage motivate you to be more careful about how you use your tongue? 6. Read James 3:13-18. Why does James connect humility and wisdom? 7. How does James distinguish the wisdom that is earthly and the wisdom that comes from demons? 8. When have you experienced the results of bitter jealously and contention with your community? Within yourself? 9. It is no accident that James follows his teaching on the tongue with a teaching on true and false wisdom. When he talks about "bitter jealously and contention", a spirit which is always carping and criticizing, he speaks of one which cannot let a nice word go by without adding a nasty one. This problem goes deeper. He has already said that the tongue is a fire set aflame by hell; now he says that a mindset like that comes from the world of demons. How might such an attitude of cynicism give the appearance of wisdom? 10. The challenge for God's people that James lays out in verse 17 is to be able to tell the truth about the way the world is, and about the way wicked people are behaving, without turning into a perpetual grumble, and in particular without becoming someone whose appearance of "wisdom" consists in being able to find a cutting word to say about everyone and everything. Offer some examples of speaking in a way that lights a candle rather than curses the darkness. 11. Why would this wisdom that comes from above produce the fruit of righteousness that is sown in peace? 12. What needs to happen for this fruit of righteousness that is sown in peace to thrive in your community? What is necessary in this time of distancing for this fruit of righteousness to thrive? What in particular can we do to nurture this fruit of righteousness at this time? PRAY: James paints a picture of the tongue and the evil that comes from it. He takes the tongue seriously and says that it is impossible for us to tame our tongue. He also describes the horror of false wisdom and the beauty of true wisdom. Ask the Holy Spirit to impress upon you the sin and damage that comes from the tongue. Now confess the sins to God that the Holy Spirit has brought to mind. Talk to him about "false wisdom" that is in you. Take time now to work slowly, one by one, through the characteristics of true wisdom that James mentions. Review your life in light of them. Humbly ask the Holy Spirit to grow in you true wisdom. Finally, praise God for his love and forgiveness and for the fact that you are always invited to turn to him to be forgiven. ------------------------------------------------------ Father River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.W. P.O. Box 642656 San Francisco, CA 94164 www.temenos.org 415-305-2124 "Keep alert, stand firm in the faith, be brave, be strong! Whatever you do, do it with love." I Corinthians 13: 16

[joel-furniss-blog]

Contemporary Art and it’s Histories: Complete Essay

The following text will discuss the relationship between the current contemporary art sphere and its predecessor in the form of the modernist era. Chapter one will introduce the contemporary work of artist Damien Hirst, specifically his sculpture For the Love of God. The second chapter will identify the modernist examples of memento mori and still life that Hirst took influence from. The final chapter will understand the visual and thematic relationship between Hirst’s works, and the modernist influences that inspired them.

Chapter One.

The sphere of contemporary art suffers from a problem. As a whole it is ultimately limited by its own nature, the same problem that many media of the current age face, it is almost impossible to define the monument pieces, those which lead a lasting impression not just within the art world but on the wider mainstream audience as well. In other words the ‘Old Masters’, the revered ‘Great Artists’ of our time, spanning from the initial measured beauty of the classical Renaissance artisans into the self-reflective and contextually radical free-thinkers of the Modern Art period, whose work is seen multiple times as staples of the present history and culture. The examples are numerous, Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel, Jacques-Louis David’s Oath of the Horatii, Caspar David Friedrich’s Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, Vincent van Gogh’s The Starry Night, the list is near endless in its examples of the classics, the revered pieces that become landmarks in time.

Time is the most important factor in creating the classics, it allows for introspection, where the critics, artists, patrons, and the public herald it and build it as benchmark for the period and accept it into the art canon, the conventional timeline of fundamental examples. For this reason, defining ‘classic’ works in the contemporary age is difficult, as ‘classics’ are born through age and scrutiny by the people. However, sometimes there are modern classics, or those artist that create and push in such bold directions, who stir the artworld in such ways that they cannot be ignored.

One of the most famous (and sometimes infamous) contemporary artists to be considered for this league is Damien Hirst, a British artist and entrepreneur famous for his involvement with the Young British Artist (YBA) generation and creating grand statement and spectacle pieces. His catalogue is considered to be incredibly influential to the contemporary canon, with works such as A Thousand Years and The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living becoming infamous in the present-day artistic sphere, hotly debated pieces blown into monumental proportions by both the patrician and the public. However there is a relatively newer and equally controversial work by Hirst that is deserving of as much deliberation and consideration.

For the Love of God [fig. 1] is a 2007 sculpture by Hirst. Much like the previously mentioned The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living, the piece caused much contention when first announced to the public, instantly inspiring news articles and bold, emblazoned headlines pondering ‘Is this art?’ The media stir around the piece was born from the same stir that caused Hirst’s The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living to be commented on in the media, the spectacle. The spectacle of Hirst’s previously mentioned work was the use of a 14-foot tiger shark, but while For the Love of God is comparatively much smaller, its physical construction demands even more hysteria.

The piece’s foundation come in the form of a human skull measuring 171 x 127 x 190 mm (6.7 x 5 x 7.5 in). The skull was purchased from a taxidermist shop Get Stuffed in Islington, London and with bioarchaeological analysis and radiocarbon dating was found to have previously belonged to a 35-year-old man of European/Mediterranean ancestry living between the years 1720 – 1810. Although the skull itself is not the most interesting feature of the work, as it simply acts as a cast for the 32 individual platinum plates which have been moulded around it, forming a metallic cast of the shape. Attached over the entire expanse of the platinum cast are 8,601 small diamonds ranging from VVS (meaning ‘very very slightly’ imperfect) to flawless in quality, pavé-laid (set into the surface of the metal) over the entire surface of the skull. The piece is completed by a collection of pear-shaped pink diamonds arranged ornately in the centre of the skull’s forehead as well as the inclusion of the skull’s original teeth being placed back into their platinum-cast sockets. The production of the skull was handled by sculptor and jeweller Jack du Rose working with Piccadilly based jewellers Bentley & Skinner Ltd. who ethically sourced all the gemstones used during the manufacturing. When completed the piece weighed 1,106.18 carats (221.236 grams) and was budgeted at approximately fourteen million pounds total. When first announced, Hirst set the work with an asking price of £50 million.

For the Love of God was first displayed for private viewing on 1st June 2007, housed in an illuminated glass casing on the top floor of art dealer Jay Jopling’s White Cube gallery, London. The skull was part of an exhibition entitled Beyond Belief which displayed other works by Hirst, but For the Love of God remained the standout piece in the exhibition for the one year it was housed there, eventually gaining enough traction to become a solo installation abroad at Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum and Florence’s Palazzo Vecchio in 2008 and 2010 respectively. The piece was later moved back to London’s Tate Modern as part of a Damien Hirst solo exhibit between 4th April – 25th June 2015, and in 2013 it accompanied Hirst in his first solo exhibit to the Middle East, being housed at Al Riwaq Exhibition Center in Doha, Qatar between 10th October – 22nd June 2014. The piece’s most recent exhibition was between 16th September – 15th November 2015 as part of another Hirst solo exhibit in Astrup Fearnley Museum of Modern Art in Oslo, Norway. The piece was rumoured to be sold on 30th August 2007 for its £50 million asking price to an anonymous consortium, the deal was reportedly made in cash, leaving no paper trail. Due to the anonymous nature of the purchase and lack of purchase records due to its cash transaction, claims that Hirst never actually sold the piece were made, with Christina Ruiz, editor of The Art Newspaper stating that Hirst had failed to find a purchaser and had lowered the price to £38 million. Also due to the work’s lapidary relevance, Harry Levy, the vice chairman of the London Diamond Bourse and Club estimated the piece’s pure carat value to be “… between £7 million and £10 million.” (Owen and Dunbar, 2007) Finally, David Lee, editor of visual arts magazine The Jackdaw claimed that: “… Hirst hasn't sold the skull. It's clearly just an elaborate ruse to drum up publicity and rewrite the book value of all his other work.” (Owen and Dunbar, 2007) It was later revealed that the consortium that purchased the work included Hirst himself, and in a 2012 interview with Time Magazine Hirst is quoted saying "In the end I covered my fabrication and a few other costs by selling a third of it to an investment group, who are anonymous." (Hirst, 2012)

Elaborating on the inspiration of the work, Hirst drew from multiple classical, modern, and contemporary ideas and sources as an amalgamation into one piece, but the work holds a theme that Hirst has almost adopted as his signature, the motif of death. Hirst’s ideas of death provide a near prefect sum of the piece, with him saying: “You don’t like it, so you disguise it or you decorate it to make it look like something bearable – to such an extent that it becomes something else.” (Hirst and Burn, 2001) Hirst set to describe the human relationship with the concept of death, something he had explored before in works such as the previously mentioned A Thousand Years and The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. Where For the Love of God differs from the latter works is its cultural relevance, signified by his use of rare and precious gemstones as a method to draw publicity.  A normal skull would have gone unnoticed by the public and the art world, but encrust it with stones costing millions of pounds and there becomes a draw where people are suddenly intrigued and stunned by its dazzling beauty or gaudy exaggeration. In that they discover the theme that Hirst supposedly placed there. Hirst also had held a relationship with precious stones before For the Love of God, often collecting jewellery and musing its inherent worth or whether it was: “just a bit of glass, with accumulated metaphorical significance? Or [whether they] are genuine objects of supreme beauty connected with life.” (Hirst and Burn, 2001) Hirst also relates the ruthless and often fatal nature of the diamond industry in third-world countries they originate from and the capitalist first-world countries that continuously ignore and support it as central to the work’s concept, specifically a comment on the bawdy decoration and the grim demise that are present in the lifespan of a diamond. However, there might be another explanation and idea behind the works creation. In the art world it is almost a running gag that Damien Hirst is businessman first, artist second, meaning he holds the money and the trade of art over the work and the creation. As of 2010, Hirst is valued as the richest living artist ever with a total net worth estimated at around £215 – £235 million and as a result, has often come under fire from the art community at large for his inflated independent economic ventures as well as detached work method, mainly using assistants and workers in a production line setting rather than himself actually producing the work. Art critic Robert Hughes labelled the artist as "functioning like a commercial brand" (Thorpe, 2008). For the Love of God may have been a self-referential comment on Hirst’s own reputation within the art community, a collection of the first two things that come to mind when Hirst is mentioned, his relationship with money, and his emphasis on death.

Hirst’s public figure is a complicated one, possibly being one of the most controversial artists of the contemporary age, he is a man that everyone in the art sphere has an opinion on, some more vehement than others. But despite his poor artworks, questionable production methods, and overall handling of his disputed ‘legendary status’, there is no debate to say he and his works are not influential to the canon of contemporary art, and as a result, art history as a whole. For the Love of God represents Hirst’s artistic summation, loading up possibly as controversial a piece as he could, a head-turning article that follows his methods and themes to a monetary and artistic conclusion.

Chapter Two

Despite Hirst’s impassive and disinvolved artistic demeanour and public image, he has a habit of wearing his influences on his sleeve quite boldly, even to a point of possible plagiarism. The same wholly goes for his thematic motifs, a limited range of concepts that almost exclusively involve elements of faith, science, value, and most famously, mortality. His conceptual scope is best described by art critic Sarah Kent who said: “Hirst alludes to heavy topics – health, meaningful living/living death, art as a live entity, the extinction of the individual and the species – with a brilliant, angst-free clarity.” (Kent, 2012).

With the previously discussed For the Love of God, the thematic inspiration is apparent, the enigma of death (in the form of the skull) juxtaposed with the concept of value and preciosity in our society (represented by the diamonds). This quite plainly stated juxtaposition of themes is not an invention of Hirst’s, but is him using a well know theory and practice in the art canon, memento mori. Memento mori (meaning “remember that you have to die” or simply “remember death”) is a Latin Christian theory which revolves around reflecting and being aware of one’s own mortality and, as a result, the transient nature of all physical goods and earthly life which. As an idea it can be traced to the Plato’s dialogue Phædo which recounted the trial and execution of Socrates during his last days, specifically his philosophical lamentations on death and the afterlife. He culminated his thoughts in his discussion on philosophical practice as a whole and described it as: “about nothing else but dying and being dead” (Plato, 360 B.C.E).This philosophical approach to understanding one’s own transient life was manifested in a number of artworks from the classical and early Christian eras all the way up to the modern period, in which the reoccurring objects associated with the still life based theme are adapted to burgeoning and well-established modern methods of artistic representation and style. Now wilting flowers, rotting fruit, near-finished hourglasses, and almost always a signature inclusion of a skull were updated by the new masters and given (ironically) a new sense of life.

Famous modernist works that utilize the thematic imagery of memento mori include Francis Picabia’s oil-on canvas Dada work Portrait of a Doctor and Pablo Picasso’s proto-cubist lithograph Black Jug and Skull (1946) which follow the more traditional artistic sensibilities of previous vanitas works, to much more avant-garde and disconnected works that still hold a common thematic resonance such as Jana Sterbak’s Vanitas: Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic (1987) and Robert Rauschenberg’s Animal Magic (1955-59), all of which involve some element of death juxtaposed with the fleeting physical frivolousness of earthly possessions and the dissonance between them.

An artist whose work captures the element of still life and memento mori well is post-impressionist Paul Cézanne, whose oil paintings during his final period and up to his death in 1906 encapsulated the sense of reflection on his ephemerality and inevitable demise that was seen in Plato’s account with Socrates, but where Socrates created dialogue, Cézanne painted. Between the years 1890-1906, Cézanne became withdrawn from portraiture as a result from multiple afflicting events that briefly caused him to leave his usual dwelling of Paris for his hometown, Aix-en-Provenance. Described by Nathanial Harris, his life was “…outwardly uneventful. He seemed to have been forgotten by the art world, and ceased even to submit his works to the Salon [Salon des Refusés]” (Harris, 1983). During the final years of his life Cézanne’s isolation was only interrupted by various letters he would send to multiple of his subjects, reading these letters reveals an increased consideration to the artist’s own mortality: "For me, life has begun to be deathly monotonous"; "As for me, I'm old. I won't have time to express myself"; "I might as well be dead." (Cézanne, 1897, 1900, 1905) During the same timeframe his mother passed away and his own heath began deteriorating, both factors being thought as to accelerate his lamentations on death. His climatic resignation of his own life inspired a number of still life watercolours and oils which visually approach the theology and imagery of memento mori. This small series of skull paintings have become some of Cézanne’s best known works, not only for their assaulting yet near-domestic arrangement and deeply personal visuals that almost seem like the skulls were painted as portraits rather than still lifes, but the intriguing and tragic context behind the paintings enhances their visual aspects thoroughly.

On the aspects of still life, it remains another example of an inspiration towards the previously mentioned contemporary artwork that deserves its own discussion. The quite visually sparse and ultimately singular For the Love of God isn’t comparable to the impressionist work of the latter discussed Cézanne, nor the later cubist arrangements of Picasso, both of which are visibly loud and dramatic. Hirst’s work, despite the inclusion of radiant collection of diamonds, is quite tonally subdued and constructed of only a few colours on the brighter side of the monochromatic scale, paired with the sparse use of space, a tightly bunched visual point presented with a lot of surrounding area that creates a certain inflated level of draw towards the main appeal of the piece. This class of visually thinly populated still life became a visible trend in the modernist period, particularly by one artist: Giorgio Morandi. Painter and printmaker Morandi specialized near exclusively in painting still lifes of mundane, decorative objects such as jugs, bottles, vases, bowls, cans, and boxes, all of which were distinguished for their tonal subtlety as well as their unusual, bunched composition of objects tightly gravitated to the direct centre of the painting. Morandi’s mid-1900’s still life works straddle a border between the relatable imagery of modern realism, and the unrecognizable surrealism of the Metaphysical art style, in essence the painting resonate with the viewer due to their understanding of how such objects can exist and be juxtaposed together, but the visual elements of Morandi’s rough near-impressionist style brushwork paired with the filtered and dulled pigments he used to construct the painting adds a certain level of disconnect within the observer. His particular technique and composition is described well by sculptor and contemporary follower of Morandi Tony Cragg (2006): “Artists’ show through their strange ways of life, their physiologies, the processes they go through, they show us something about our rough generalised pictures of realities, they show us something specific, and a new way of seeing. And one can imagine that the world would be a much poorer place without his [Morandi’s] work…” (Cragg, 2006)

When creating art a singular inspiration is difficult to pin, and with For the Love of God, there is ultimately too much both visually and thematically to associate with one singular artist or work, but there is undoubtedly a connection with the famous instances of still life artwork in the modern period, both in the thematic standing of Hirst’s works as well as the visual elements he used.

Chapter Three

Hirst’s relationship with the modernist employment of the memento mori theme as well as the visually transgressive still life artworks of the mid-20th-century are, as previously mentioned, apparent. This is especially seen in his discussed work, For the Love of God, in which Hirst bypasses his usual work-arounds in dealing with the themes directly, meaning his methods of alluding people away from his inspirations are stripped away for a less subtle work.

This method of dressing his works as thematically and visually fresh is best seen with his most infamous ‘preserved animal’ works. When taken to its most basic concepts and compositions For the Love of God is, in essence, a wholly exposed version of these collections, a simplified redux of past works with added flair. Hirst’s works, including For the Love of God, typically include the main focal point as an embodiment of death, that of a preserved carcass, or a skull in the current case. The skull is small and relatively discernible to the viewer, on the other hand, the animals are colossal and shocking but both ultimately represent the same thematic objective. This physical representation of death is taken from the vanitas art of fifteenth to seventeenth centuries, a subgenre of the popular still life composition that employed elements of memento mori to highlight the futility of earthly pursuits. The oft-Netherlandish artists had a myriad of resort objects that they used as physical representations of mortality, these included fruits, flowers, timepieces, candles, lanterns, weapons, smoking pipes, bubbles, etc, but the main symbol of any vanitas composition, regarded as the crown of sorts, is an inclusion of a skull. This is even discussed in relation to For the Love of God by Richard Fuchs in the Beyond Belief exhibition catalogue: “As the single most important object in a vanitas still life, the skull has to dominate the scene like a mountain looms over a landscape.” (Fuchs, 2007). Famous vanitas works that capitalize on this motif are Edward Collier’s Still Life with a Volume of Wither’s ‘Emblemes’ (1696) which is subtle with its imagery, especially the signature skull which sits against the border of the top left corner, relatively subdued in contrast to the shinning trinkets dressed in bold silver and lacquered wood. On the other hands there are works such as Philippe de Champaigne’s Vanité (1671) which present their symbolism head on, making the skull the entire middle section of a composition, and therefore unavoidable. On to the modern sphere, Cézanne practically loads the entire canvas with the symbolic entities in Pyramid of Skulls (1901), taking de Champaigne’s structured set composition to its logical conclusion, or the earlier mentioned work Portrait of a Doctor by Francis Picabia, who’s visually bizarre Dada portrait is injected with a skull in the bottom right corner, taking the more subtle approach of Collier. Hirst’s For the Love of God takes the visually audacious approach, but it also plucks another symbolic resonance from the vanitas artworks of the 16th century, one that his other death-focused works sorely lacks.

The entire symbolic concepts of vanitas all fall back to mortality, but they also explore the concept of futility, specifically the futility of earthly goods and pursuits in the face of an all-encompassing death, described by art historian Sybille Ebert-Schifferer it is: “despite the Bible, which is opened to the beginning of Ecclesiastes and the familiar phrase ‘vanity of vanities’, it's chief interest is the creation of an ideal collection of rarities”. (Ebert-Schifferer, 1998) These are seen through the symbols of wealth or knowledge, jewellery, currency, globes, portraits, fine fabrics, books, instruments, compasses, quills, and other such decorative goods only seen by the wealthy and elite. The way Hirst portrays this is through the platinum cast of the skull’s visage, relating the piece to the looming fear of mortality, as well as the 8,601 diamonds set into the cast which represent the disregard for fiscal excess that vanitas works hold as a theme, although Hirst utilizes a sense of admitted irony in his use of actually diamonds, whose perceived value is much more literal than the painted examples seen previously.

Hirst’s take on the visual composition of For the Love of God also suffers slightly from a uniform standard he has created. This can be seen too with his ‘preserved animals’, where a larger than life object is posted minimally in the gallery and presented with a certain muted tone, usually a cool blue colour palette as a result of the formaldehyde bath. As a result, the piece is supplied with an inherent contrast and juxtaposition between the subject and its presentation, but with For the Love of God, because it is on such a relatively small scale compared to previous works, is left a little more bare compositionally, much like the bone it shows. This harkens back to the more avant-garde understanding of the still life format that was birthed in the modernist period, particularly the work of the previously discussed Giorgio Morandi, whose blend of realist and metaphysical art produced some of the most visually simplistic yet compositionally strong still lifes of the modernist period. Morandi’s command of shape and structure in a painting, utilizing familiar forms, a strong control over colour, and quality of light all helped set him as a significant member of abstract painters. His pictorial signature is his tightly organized arrangement of objects, with many of his still life studies showing multiple objects all tightly bunched toward the centre of the canvas, often lined-up, stacked, or otherwise organised in groups with little to no space between objects in a visually pacified arrangement. Compare this to the classical still life, or even the modernist still lifes such as Leslie Hunter’s Post-Impressionist A Still Life of Fruit and Flowers with Persian Curtain (date unknown) or Moradi’s contemporary Henri Matisse, whose works such as Still Life with Pineapples and Lemons (1925) and Still Life with Sleeper (1940) are visually bombastic in their naturalistic arrangement and structure. This makes Morandi’s work all the more powerful, its construction is expertly controlled and planned, a trait that makes it impossible to ignore amongst its contemporaries. It’s as much a study of the metaphysical construction of an artwork itself as it is paintings of jugs and bowls.

It is also impossible to ignore Morandi’s peculiar use of colour, an aspect of his artwork that works hand-in-hand with his irregular composition. Morandi’s colour palette is limited to the very basic lighter end of the monochromatic scale, his paintings built with shades of stony light-grey to dusty off-whites with colour often being sparse or entirely absent. A fine example of this is his painting Still Life 1946, presented with a green-grey painterly background, a softer eggshell-esque complexion for the object’s plinth, but in the centre reaching upwards is a long-necked bottle dressed in radiant white, with a similarly shaded cup to its left. But stationed in front of the two white monoliths are three coloured pieces of dinnerware, a small decorated bowl on the right, a straight-sided pot in the middle, and a circular container on the left. These three objects are all stand-outs in the piece through their limited display of colour, the left container using a pale lemon yellow on its top half, the middle pot features a dark orange band near the rim, and the ribbed bowl is decorated intermediately in a gradient lilac moving towards the lip. The colours are all sparse and muted, blending expertly with the otherwise grayscale paints of the other objects into a very mellow overall visual that achieves a “… spiritual harmony, and a serene balance between all of the factors affecting it.” and presenting his works as a “meditation on form and colour, ignoring the substance of the depicted object, and they in turn become objects of meditation.” (Ebert-Schifferer, 1998). Hirst utilizes Morandi’s metaphysical composition and subdued monochromatic colour quality for his work, the skull is presented against a completely black negative space, seen head on in the direct centre of its housing/print and featuring an exclusively near-white colour set as result of the combination between platinum, diamond and bone.

Overall Hirst’s work is constructed through the lens of other, he takes inspiration from the public, but also a myriad of his predecessors. Described by critic and historian Richard Shone, Hirst “has always been hyper-receptive to the work of his contemporaries and forebears - in film, music, television and books as much as in art.” (Shone, 2001) Direct influences are difficult to pin, especially with Hirst’s reserved manner for discussing his work, but he suffers from wearing his influences a little too loudly in most cases, and with For the Love of God, influences are apparent to the point of easy analysis.

In conclusion, Damien Hirst’s For the Love of God found its thematic and visual construction between the memento mori/vanitas work of modernist impressionist Paul Cézanne, specifically his focus on mortality in his later works, and metaphysical artist Giorgio Morandi, whose use of composition and colour are apparent in Hirst’s work. Overall Hirst’s work, while interesting, bears striking resemblance to the past masters, as well as his own past examples.

fig. 1. Damien Hirst, For the Love of God, (2007)

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fig. 1. Damien Hirst, For the Love of God. (2007) Platinum, diamonds and human teeth. 171 x 127 x 190 mm. [online] Available at: http://www.damienhirst.com/for-the-love-of-god#_ftn2 [Accessed 16th March 2018]