#it's also a bill and ted reference

[talkin-with-a-laserbeam]

Kobra Kid: Here's the deal. What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep. Got it?

Fun Ghoul: ...Sounds good Mr. the Kid!

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

dont rlly like how tgis turned out but i spent like a couple hours on it and i feel bad not posting. whatever go my scarab

no text verison plus some other doodles i did on tha same canvas

[mashmouths]

saltburn + raiders of the lost arc =

[r-we-taire-yet]

Decided to draw a group shot of the original X-Men team for my Hatchetfield au. I have ideas for a bunch of arcs based on the comics. This picture is from the first year before their costumes get more individuality.

Basic summary: Professor Hidgens gets inspired to create a school for mutant teens and takes in five students to start. He trains them to be the X-Men, a super team dedicated to stopping the evil, telepathic witch, Miss Holloway, however everything is not as it seems and there are dark forces at play that none of the teens can predict. It's heavily inspired by the New Mutants foundation.

Left to right: Charlotte (Kittycat), Jane (Psyche), Ted (Time Bomb) ((Time Bastard)), Hidgens (Professor H), Paul (Light Knight), and Bill (Dark Matter or Cosmos).

I'll probably make posts for each of them but I'll give a little run down on the powers to explain what's happening in the image.

Charlotte looks like a fluffy, domestic gray cat. She has the eyesight and reflexes of a cat, along with the claws and teeth so she can do much things cats can do. She's very self conscious about being so visibly mutated.

Jane is very much the Jean Gray of the story. She has very powerful telepathy and telekinesis and eventually a connection to the Phoenix Force. She was the first student and is the oldest by a few years.

Ted can teleport through time and can manipulate time as a whole. He wears eye protection because of the teleportation. Because he alters time as a whole, he is very bound by the rules of paradoxes which limits his power significantly.

Hidgens can see visions of the future. Professor X is a telepath but Hidgens is definitely not one.

Paul didn't pick his own code name, Bill picked it because Paul couldn't think of one. He can create items out of solid, blue light, mostly this is things like shields or melee weapons, he can't do projectiles because the light fades if he's not touching it. He also has extra sensory perception what manifests as gut feelings. He's the youngest on the team.

Bill has the power of Cosmic Energy. He is physically made of space and is as solid as he wants to be, usually being similar to a plasma with bits floating off and dissolving into the universe without him losing any mass. His skin is covered in stars, distant planets, and galaxy that move as he does, and his eyes look like galaxies. He doesn't mind being visibly mutated too much because he thinks he looks really cool. Cosmic Energy is one of the strongest things in Marvel, so he is extremely powerful.

[gotta-get-back-to-hatchetfield]

Help! I loved Nerdy Prudes Must Die and am curious about Nightmare Time but don't really have time to commit to watching it all... (a handy guide)

For those of you who don't know Nightmare Time was a series of Hatchetfield one shots that starkid wrote and recorded during lockdown, all of which are of course available for free on YouTube. They go a lot deeper into the lore than the 3 Hatchetfield musicals, including explaining and explore the characters we know and love in more detail, sometimes including shocking revelations.

They also introduce new characters to the Hatchetfield universe, including Stephanie Lauter, Grace Chasity and Pete Spankoffski, who we first met in a Nightmare Time episode.

As they were filmed in lockdown the recording quality is somewhat variable, but Season 2 has a much higher production value than Season 1, and in Season 1 Episode 1 in particular they were very clearly trying to find their feet with it. That being said the actual scripts and content of the episodes is solid throughout.

I've decided to put together this handy guide of which Nightmare Time episodes people might want to check out if they want to learn more about certain things we saw in NPMD.

1) Nibbly - Honey Queen (season 2 episode 1)

If you're curious to learn more about the Lords in Black each of them (bar Wiggly) have an episode of Nightmare Time devoted to them.

For Nibbly, Wiggly's hungriest and pinkest brother that episode is 'Honey Queen' in Season 2 Episode 1.

It explores a very entertaining rivalry between Linda Monroe (from Black Friday) and Zoey (the annoying barista from Beanie's in TGWDLM) that naturally turns very very dark. We also get to meet Linda's husband Gerald who she spends most of Black Friday on the phone to.

As a heads up Nibbly doesn't appear until, shall we say, the end of the episode (with Hatchetfield there's always a twist) and he's not in the super sexy form from NPMD but it's a very strong episode and does give a bit of background to Nibbly's deal.

2) Tinky - Time Bastard (season 1 episode 2 part 2)

If you're curious to learn more about this yellow motherfucker played by Curt then you're in luck because he's in my personal favourite episode and one with a lot of interesting lore surrounding it.

If you're curious about what he means when in NPMD he says 'I could add another Spankoffski to my set', Time Bastard is focused around Pete's brother Ted (from TGWDLM) and the dodgy dealings of CCRP.

It's an extremely clever episode, with lots of really fun twists. It's unfortunately season 1 so has slightly lower production quality, but in terms of raw scripting is just outstanding and has some really interesting reveals about people in the Hatchetfield universe who may not be who we think they are...

Also worth noting that this is in the same episode (Youtube video) as a different Nightmare Time episode 'Forever and Always'. Most episodes work like this where you have two different stories per episode, they absolutely can be watched independently but usually have some sort of thematic link (in this case it's the things we do for love and how they will inevitably be thwarted by CCRP being sketch).

3) Blinky - Watcher World (season 1 episode 1 part 2)

And if you're curious about the one who's always watching you, he's actually the first Lord in Black we meet through Nightmare Time, in the very first episode when Bill and Alice Woodward (TGWDLM) go on an ill fated trip to a spooky theme park.

Again this is from the first episode so production quality is low but it's a really solid episode and a very interesting look into these characters.

While this is our first meeting of a lord in black in Nightmare Time, I don't believe he's actually referred to as such, and the concept of the Lords in Blacks being introduced as Wiggly's brothers comes in at point 5 on this list.

4) Pokey - Yellow Jacket (season 2 episode 4)

You've already met Pokey through TGWDLM (yep that was his blue shit that destroyed the world!), but you won't truly realise how fucking scary he is until you meet his incarnation 'Otho' in Yellow Jacket.

A solid episode exploring Lex, Hannah and Ethan in a lot more detail, and in a world and lives where (at least at the start of the episode) things seem to be a lot more stable for them than in Black Friday.

And yeh as I've already mentioned Pokey is fucking s c a r y in it. Also you remember James Tolbert's character, Charles that gets a little cameo in Hatchetown? Well he's the main human antagonist of this episode!

We also learn a lot of lore about 'the gift', the thing that makes Hannah able to do magic.

5) The concept of the Lords in Black generally - The Witch in the Web (season 2 episode 3 part 2)

If you're curious about why everyone's been posting pictures of those evil teddy bears and now even more confused that you've met them all as fucked up high school students, the Witch in the Web is the episode where we're first introduced to the 'they don't care bears' as a set.

This is a really cool episode, again about Lex and Hannah, but it also exploring Uncle Wiley (from Black Friday) in a lot more detail.

We also first meet two characters called Duke and Miss Holloway who together form the ship Holloduke that if you were following any of Starkid tumblr during lockdown you will definitely have heard of. They're really cool!

Here we also meet Webby, Hannah's imaginary friend in Black Friday, who turns out to be the lord in black's sister: a queen in white. And she's dope.

6) Pete Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter and Grace Chasity - Abstinence Camp (season 2 episode 2 part 2)

We first meet the now beloved characters of Pete and Steph and the slightly less beloved character of Grace in an evangelical abstinence only camp. The episode centers entirely around these characters and plays excellently with tropes of the horror genre.

It also has the best song in all of Nightmare Time and it's up to you to decide if I'm talking about 'oh my god it's the axe-man' or 'virginity rocks' (it's both, the answer is both).

That's pretty much it in terms of Nightmare Time episodes that cover things from NPMD, but in case you're curious here's a quick run down of what the rest are about:

The Hatchetfield Ape Man - season 1 episode 1 part 1. Hidgens makes Ted pretend to be a Tarzan style half monkey, half man thing to con Angela Giarratanna out of her inheretence.

Watcher World - season 1 episode 1 part 2. See bullet 3 above. Alice and Bill Woodward go to a theme park and shit hits the fan.

Forever and Always - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Paul and Emma get married. Things are not as they seem (there are robots). One of my personal favourites.

Time Bastard - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 2 above. Ted fucks with time travel and things end very badly for him. Best episode imo.

Jane's a Car - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Turns out the soul of Tom Houston's ex-wife Jane, who died in a car crash, transferred into the car. This somewhat complicates his budding relationship with Becky Barnes.

The Witch in the Web - season 2 episode 3 part 2. See bullet 5 above. Hannah Foster's having nightmares and somehow a witch and Uncle Wiley are involved. Luckily a good witch (Miss Holloway) is there to try and help.

Honey Queen - season 2 episode 1. See bullet 1 above. Linda Monroe and Zoey Chambers compete to win the Hatchetfield honey queen beauty pageant and things spiral wildly out of control. My personal favourite episode from season 2.

Perky's Buds - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Emma's finally achieved her dream of owning her own pot farm. Just her, her non-binary farm hand Ziggs and some very evil birds.

Abstinence Camp - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 6 above. Pete, Steph and Grace go to a retreat in the very creepy woods to learn one way or another about the perils of pre-marital sex.

Daddy - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Remember Sherman Young (Jamie's weird creepy guy from Black Friday)? Turns out there's something very weird going on with his mum. We also learn a lot about Frank Pricely (owner of toyzone from Black Friday) in this episode, who turns out to be a very interesting character.

Killer Track - season 2 episode 3 part 2. Miss Holloway must take extreme action to save a young girl and then the whole world against an evil song that kills anyone who listens to it. We learn a lot more about Holloway as a character and she is soooo cool. Another favourite episode of mine.

Yellow Jacket - season 2 episode 4. See bullet point 4. Hannah seeing her sister struggling to provide for them financially decides to find a way of using her power to earn some spare cash.

Hey Melissa - episode aired only on a livestream, type it into youtube and it'll come up. If you've ever found yourself asking 'what if Mariah's secretary character from the start of TGWDLM was really into dom pup play and Paul Matthews was her little pup bitch and she was also a horrific out of control serial killer?' then a) are you Matt Lang because if not I'm concerned? and b) by god this is the episode for you!. I personally really enjoy it I think it's super funny, but obviously heavy trigger warnings for abuse and sexual content warnings (there's a reason they didn't put this in the real series). Fucking excellent tho.

[taskiiboi]

~ Redactedverse Headcannons ~

Shaw Pack

David -

Personally I think David would be the first of the pack to figure out his sexuality mainly because of how he yearns.

That man will wait at the door for Angel to get home. I don’t care if he was on the couch when he did, that man has an alarm for when Angel gets onto the driveway and sits down on the couch acting all aloof.

That man FOLDS at one touch from Angel and that isn’t even a head cannon I just like reminding people about that.

Gets tattoos and has weirdly beautiful or cute meanings to them

Sam -

I love Sam with all my heart and soul first off <3. For sure listens to classic rock but also modern pop bcz why not.

Never succeeds at avoiding Darlin’s puppy dog eyes. That man is love sick!!!

Has in fact showed up in his truck to pick Darlin up for dates after jobs because that’s cute and silly and I love them

Kisses Darlin’s top surgery scars

Has gauges, small ones but I can see it

Ash -

Asher is definitely bi imo but for sure prefers men. Thats all I really have to say I don’t listen to his audios much.

Milo -

I also don’t listen to his audios much but from what I’ve picked up on is that the man is gay. There’s like no doubt about it. That man is hopeless.

Damn Crew

Gavin -

The man is gay. We only see him interact with men and refer to men when it comes to past moments.

Gavin has read history books for fun. The man is smart and curious to a fault.

Would absolutely vague about Damien and Huxley to Freelancer and he has in fact picked up on it and proceeded to play dumb.

Lasko -

Pan, I say this because if someone is attractive to him, he folds. The man is a mess.

He also kisses Dear’s top surgery scars because I said so. It’s the law <3

Has written Kirk x Spock fanfic

Damien -

Angry, angry bisexual. I cannot see him any other way.

Plays cozy games. The man will only watch others play violent or lore heavy games.

Huxley -

Not a morning person at all. He enjoys the morning don’t get me wrong but the man is sleepy for most of the day

I do infact think he is gay and has been hurt by many a twink.

Others ~

Avior -

Aroflux, but falls hard

has probably written fucking sonnets about Starlight during their separation and will again

Would really enjoy Doctor Who idkw

Kisses Starlights freckles and top surgery scars

Porter -

Thinks of Treasure A LOT, like he is down bad whether he likes it or not.

Enjoys the Bill and Ted movies

Vincent -

Surprisingly has the most piercings and usually wears more gold

Kisses Lovely’s top surgery scars (which have lightning bolts tattoos around them)

[felassan]

Thoughts on DA: Vows & Vengeance -

[info compilation post link] [more info on the podcast]

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this post is rather unstructured : )

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I know what BW said about how there won't be official transcripts, but I hope that they decide to post official transcripts of each episode if it's possible, as it's rly important for accessibility & inclusivity.

I like the title - the alliteration is fun, and the concepts of vengeance and revenge are a DA thematic staple atp. it's neat that it's free and the spacing of one episode per week until mid/late October will help pass the time until launch (the last podcast episode releases 2 weeks before DA:TV Release Day). it's also cool to see DA expand into new forms of media, and I'm excited that we will hear lots more lines from each of the 7 Veilguard companions. 👁️

here is one of the podcast writers, Jeremy Novick, on Twitter.

I’m really looking forwards to Taash and Davrin’s episodes of the podcast in particular ◕‿◕ it feels like we don't know much about them or their backstories relative to the other DA:TV companions at this point in time.

Nadia Carcosa, Drayden and Elio are described as being "podcast-exclusive" characters, I guess this means they will not appear in the game itself (which helps the podcast storyline stay self-contained and the podcast to remain as optional listening). but it would be cool if in the game there is some references to them here and there, like in dialogue and/or codex entries/notes etc. 😊

in the background image of the teaser trailer and what looks like the thumbnail for the podcast[?] on podcasting sites, the two faction symbols shown are the Mourn Watch and the Shadow Dragons. is this a coincidence/just since their symbols look cool, or are these two factions the factions with the biggest roles in the podcast storyline relative to the others? the penultimate episodes are the ones that focus on Emmrich and Neve 🤔

"revenge, redemption, and love": these themes mixed together often produce regret. and there was a quote somewhere in DA:TV marketing materials that said “For DA:TV [the game itself], from the start one of the biggest themes has been regret; how regret shaped peoples’ lives, how people deal with their regrets, how people maybe move past their regrets.”

Mae Whitman previous credits include: Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Brigette Lundy-Paine previous credits include: Bill & Ted Face the Music, Atypical, I Saw the TV Glow Armen Taylor previous credits include: Diablo IV, Octopath Traveler II, Vinland Saga

I wonder when the podcast is set? maybe in the weeks to months before Varric, Harding, Neve and Rook go to Solas' ritual site in the game's prologue? I also wonder what lineages Nadia, Drayden and Elio are? If Drayden has a mysterious connection to the Fade, they're most likely to be human or elven, right?

cat burglar, thief, scoring jobs like the one described in the podcast's plotblurbs - these kind of plot beats remind me of what we learned about an earlier concept of DA:TV when the game was more about stuff like heists and spies.

Nadia being a thief unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf to track down a powerful ancient artifact before finding herself tangled up in everything: this reminds me sm of one of the 'here's what the DA4 PC's backstory could be and how they could end up caught up in the narrative of the game'-speculation ideas I used to wonder about hhh.

a retired cat burglar.. maybe Nadia has ties to the Lords of Fortune? some of them seem to be more thiefy. although, being wanted by Tevinter authorities for crimes of theft, high treason and murder maybe points towards Shadow Dragons instead.

two lovers going on a job to get an artifact reminds me of Irian Cestes and Vadis from TN. "burglar" also gives me Hobbit/LOTR vibes :D I imagine that over the many years since DA:I, the Dread Wolf has employed many such people [unknowingly to them] on jobs like this.

Elio being "seemingly" banished to the Fade is interesting wording.. so is "banished" actually. (Elio's Fade banishment also makes me think of foreshadowing Solas' subsequent entry to Fade Jail in DA:TV.) ((shoutout to left-in-the-Fade-Hawkes' LIs who I can also imagine desperately searching for answers on a rescue mission across all of Thedas after learning that Hawke was left in the Fade in DA:I...))

Carcosa

I'm reaaally curious about what Drayden's mysterious connection to the Fade is all about and entails.

"a few [answers] they wish they hadn’t" 👁️...

the question is, what the powerful ancient artifact is, and why does Solas want it? if he wants it it's probably ancient elven, right?

On the trailer itself

"This chamber, it feels different from the cave. I can sense something. The Veil is thin here." - I'd guess this speaker is Drayden. it isn't Nadia, as we hear her later on. the speaker can sense the thin/thickness of the Veil and Drayden is said to have a mysterious connection to the Fade. at this point they're in some kind of, well, chamber, as the speaker's voice echoes and you can hear water dripping down the damp walls.

The announcer's voice is so deep hh!

To be wanted by Tevinter authorities for crimes including high treason, maybe Nadia is from Tevinter? treason is "the crime of betraying one's country, especially by attempting to kill or overthrow the sovereign or government." so to commit treason in Tevinter context, you're probably from Tevinter.

"Who the hell is Nadia Carcosa?" - this sounds like Varric. :>

"So, what's the mark?" - I'd guess this speaker is Nadia. they sound scrappy/seasoned (Nadia is nearly retired), and the speaker is probably asking for more details on the job they've just acquired to do. does she sound like she could be a dwarf to anyone else or is this just me? :D maybe that's just my daydreams hhh

"The Eye of Kethisca" quote: presumably the middle man who Solas hired to hire someone, thereby keeping his own identity secret

The Eye of Kethisca itself: this must be the "powerful ancient artifact" from the text blurbs. there are no hits for "Kethisca" on the DA Wiki, so this is a new name/thing. it must be creepy-deepy, because when it's mentioned in the trailer you can hear creepy voices whispering ominously. :D "Kethisca" doesn't sound elven, but you could easily have an artifact that's e.g. ancient elven but acquired another name or been called something else by others in the centuries since.

"The Eye was made from a rare gem mined here in the caves beneath us. It was crafted centuries ago by a powerful Dreamer." - Solas speaking. I wonder how oblique/lies of omission/technically true (you know what I mean? that thing he does) Solas is being here.. like maybe the Dreamer was an ancient elvhen Dreamer not a human Tevinter one, like maybe the centuries ago were centuries and centuries and centuries ago dating back to Elvhenan rather than later on temporally at say, a more recent time in history like the height of the Imperium. "Eye" makes me think of spherical things, "gem" makes me think of how lyrium (Titans' blood) is a mineral. caves makes me think of dwarfy things and the Deep Roads. as for "mined":

"The runes say the Evanuris fought the Titans. They mined their bodies for lyrium and... something else. It's not clear."

what if the Eye is the heart of a Titan, a foci? Solas' Orb was spherical and the hearts of Titans look spherical here in the Death of a Titan mural. the way he frames it makes it sound like the mark is a rare jewel mined from caves by a Tevinter human dreamer long ago before being crafted into something, but I wonder if it was, more technically, the heart of a Titan mined from the body of a Titan even longer ago by, say, a member of the Evanuris, before being crafted into a foci. Solas needed his own foci in DA:I to carry out his plans, and then it was broken. there was more than one foci in ancient Elvhenan; after DA:I and Trespasser, I could see a world/storyline in which, during the long years between then and DA:TV, Solas at some point learns that another one of the foci artifacts survived into the modern day, and decided to try and get his hands on it so that he can carry out his plan using another foci instead. and since the foci can do Fadey/Veily stuff, that could be how Elio got yeeted in there. reminds me a bit of the scene when the Inquisitor yeets Cory at the end of DA:I. (here I'm just speculating wildly for fun hhh. Solas' Orb doesn't really look like a gem etc. and the Lyrium Knife tears the Veil, so maybe this storyline was set before he got that or sth)

also I wonder where these caves are? beneath Minrathous? Solas has a hideout beneath Minrathous, as we know, and the deeper you go the more elfy things get.

Magister Andante: I think this is our first time hearing about this character. their name reminds me of Andraste.

"Magister Andante? It's about Nadia. She's about to do something quite reckless." - this sounds to me like Neve speaking. it kind of sounds like she's meeting the magister clandestinely, at night. she seems to know Nadia.

"Listen to me, you've been tricked. This isn't a simple grab-and-go for the money. There are bigger forces at play. We have to put this back and leave." - I'd guess this speaker is Elio. it sounds like at this point he and Nadia have found the Eye and taken it, but he's trying to get her to see reason/warn her. it's a tense moment with the sound of battle all around them.

"I'm sorry, but I won't let you pay for my mistakes." - Nadia refusing to listen to Elio. the sounds of battle get louder and it sounds like there's an explosion or something? plus the dragon roar. maybe Mr dragon is breathing fire everywhere. :D I wonder as well if it's Elio grunting in pain at this point. I'd guess this is the moment where Elio is seemingly yeeted into the Fade perhaps?

"Nadia, I presume. I am Solas, and I am, I believe, the one that you seek." - Solas again obviously, only this time sounding way more godly and Fen'Harelly in persona (booming) than he did when he was talking more demurely/plainly about what the Eye is.

"The name I seek is the Dread Wolf" - Nadia again obviously :) so something in the job went wrong, she figures out who hired them, and goes to find the Dread Wolf presumably because she either blames him for Elio being stuck in the Fade and/or she thinks he might be able to get him out or tell her how.

"The Eye will destroy you" - and this sounds like Neve again maybe?

[your-compadre-infinity]

I am. Very much sick rn so take this with a grain of salt but.

Bill & Ted + The Lost Boys Crossover

Context first: I have this AU-ish thing where the Lost Boys don’t die and instead team up with Michael to take down Max together because he was abusive towards the boys and David had enough of his shit. Result is the Emersons taking the vampires in for awhile to let them heal, but everyone got so used to having them around that the boys just moved in permanently into the basement.

Now for the actual Crossover:

The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted exist in the same universe; just guys in two completely different cities in two completely different parts of California.

Post Excellent Adventure but Pre Bogus Journey, Bill and Ted start dating (because come on. Do I really need to explain?). They’re keeping it under wraps, because ✨it was the 80s/90s✨/ref and also they’re trying to figure it out themselves too.

With Bill and Ted’s band starting to take off, Bill’s dad organises a vacation to the coast. Specifically, Santa Carla. He had an old friend there, Lucy Emerson, and this vacation was also a chance for him to catch up with her while letting Bill and Ted get a taste of real fun since they’ve never been outside of San Dimas. Santa Carla was the life of the party so it was perfect.

(Ted’s dad wasn’t exactly happy to let Ted go to another city, but Ted goes anyway.)

Lucy gets the call from Mr Preston and was happy to accomodate him, Bill and Ted for the summer because Santa Carla is a huge tourist destination and finding a place to stay anywhere else in the city during summer would’ve been futile. She figured she could spare a room for them.

Preston Family road trip to Santa Carla, Bill and Ted jam out in the backseat. It was a planned 5 hour drive (irl Santa Cruz for reference), but with breaks and whatnots the trip ends up taking almost 7 (about 30 minutes was also spent in the city because Bill and Ted got distracted by the sights, shops and the ever so famous Boardwalk).

Preston, Bill and Ted arrive at the Emerson house late afternoon, but still a few hours before sunset, so Lucy, Sam and Grandpa help them settle in. Until the sun’s completely down, all vampires (including our half folks Michael, Star and Laddie) are honk-shoo-honk-shooing away.

Everyone immediately notices Bill’s resemblance to Marko but doesn’t point it out. “Must be coincidence” they thinks.

Bill and Ted are ecstatic to check out their room for the vacation (which ends up being the living room with the couch being taken apart to make a bed, Mr Preston gets the spare bedroom. Bill and Ted don’t mind they like the space). They also get along well with Sam, who thinks they’re a bit goofy but like their vibe. (They definitely rave about comics, but Sam’s copy of “Vampires Everywhere” is not brought up. He’s outgrown that, to say.)

Lucy explains that there’s been some new additions to the family (the vampires), but they’re a bit “nocturnal” and that they’ll be around during the evening.

Preston asks Lucy about Michael and where he was (having met Michael when the boy was still young). Lucy says Michael “works a night-job” now and is resting for his shift later.

Come sundown, Lucy is making breakfast for dinner. Bill and Ted are super excited for it, and Lucy tells them that it’s happening every night because of the Emerson Family Routine (having Michael and the vampires wake up at sundown, Lucy has adopted cooking breakfast meals for them as dinner and dinner meals as breakfast. Sam and Grandpa don’t really mind, they’ve also gotten used to it.)

By now, Michael and Star wobbles downstairs and finally meets the new houseguests. Mike’s a bit groggy, so he doesn’t immediately hit it off with everyone, but Star is friendly with the company, excited for some new people outside of the boys. Bill and Ted think Star’s aesthetic is rad, asks her for fashion advice I reckon.

Star and Sam share the same sentiments. Bill and Ted are goofy but loveable. Star also notices Bill’s striking resemblance to Marko, so Michael. For sanity’s sake, they keep quiet too, but do send a warning ping to the boys through the vampire bond so none of them freak out.

Few moments later, the stars of the show - The Lost Boys - come hollering from the basement.

Paul’s coming in for Lucy’s incredible pancakes (grabs a stack for himself and is already shovelling them down), Dwayne and Laddie next, David after he has a moment with Michael (yes! A second gay couple: Star ships them). Marko comes in last.

All eyes are on Bill and Ted, and Bill and Ted have their eyes on the boys. First thing on their minds is these guys are cool (even tho they’re in pjs), second is “woah Bill there’s another you.” The boys, especially Marko, are shooketh.

Questions were tossed around, but overall the vibe was good and before you know it, Bill and Ted and The Lost Boys are totally chilling with each other (the Emersons are giving the vamps warning looks - “no turning these boys”). The Vamps are promising to take the two out to the city later, Bill and Ted are totally down for it after dinner.

As the Emersons head to bed, the vampires and Bill and Ted head out for the night. Bill and Ted have never ridden motorcycles before so you bet they were over the heads to try it. They end up taking the back of Paul’s (Bill) and Marko’s (Ted) bikes, who were playing with them the ride there.

The group heads for the Boardwalk, where Bill and Ted take off with Paul and Marko for rides and games and the free shows at the beach. Everyone else hangs back and decides to not hunt for tonight, or at least until Bill and Ted went to bed (much to Michael and Star’s relief - didn’t need the two teens from San Dimas knowing).

Bill, Ted, Paul and Marko had one hell of a good time (definitely some cheating on the vampire’s side with mind games and compulsion but sssh), won a ton of prizes.

Ted and Paul start talking at some point, Ted finds out that the whole gang is queer and very open about it. Not afraid to be intimate with each other, though Paul had his own thing with Marko too (WOAH ANOTHER GAY COUPLE?). Made Ted feel more confident about his own relationship with Bill. They talk about being gay and having a partner and definitely joked around about having the same taste in men, but overall the conversation was cute and both got new ideas for their relationships afterwards.

Meanwhile Marko and Bill start figuring out what was going on between them (the gene pool isn’t that big apparently lol).

After the Boardwalk, the vampires take Bill and Ted to Hudson’s Bluff and the hotel, where everyone just parties. No drugs or drinks or blood was passed around, for the sake of Bill and Ted’s innocence (not that they weren’t down for a few beers here and there tbh). Everyone has a grand old time before Bill and Ted start to crash from losing sleep.

The boys drive Bill and Ted back to the house, helping them in and set up the living room for them to sleep and promises they’ll party more tomorrow night. Once they were asleep, the vampires flew out and did illegal and murderous things.

Next time Bill and Ted saw them was the morning, just before the vampires had to get to the basement because of the sun. They gave a small greeting to each other and the vamps went to bed.

Bill and Ted never figure out that the boys are vampires.

And this went on every single night for about 3 weeks until Bill and Ted’s most bodacious vacation came to and end and they had to get back to San Dimas and get Wyld Stallyns back on track.

Everyone promises to keep in touch, and for funnies, Paul and Marko asks Bill and Ted to send them signed albums in the future. They actually do lol.

Headcanons

Some nights the vampires and Bill and Ted just party in the living room, building pillow forts and having pillow fights. It was all out war to claim the best fort spot. The Emersons just have to deal with that.

Bill and Ted definitely made the same Texas Chainsaw Massacre comment upon seeing Grandpa’s taxidermy for the first time.

The Frogs were definitely invited over at some point, tho they didn’t really get along with Bill and Ted. Called them “too unserious” or something like that. Was convinced the vampires manipulated them, like the Emersons.

Laddie liked Bill and Ted loads, found them funny. Was definitely going to miss them.

David and Dwayne couldn’t care less about Bill and Ted. Their vibes didn’t click.

Bill and Ted almost got their ears pierced, like the boys, but Lucy forbid it. Nothing against the boys themselves, just because really.

Bill and Ted promised that once Wyld Stallyns really take off, they’ll definitely be putting on a show at the Boardwalk.

Marko and Bill are both 🏳️‍⚧️ transmasc!! They knew at first sight lol. They both marvel at each other’s transition - Bill especially in awe at how well Marko handles his long hair (Bill can’t have long hair at all without getting serious dysphoria). Also crop tops haha.

Also, as it turns out, Marko and Bill are related :)

That’s just a random thought of mine since Marko is a runaway, and I was like “what if he’s like Bill’s great-grandmother’s sibling that disappeared and was presumed dead and therefore was wiped from the family tree?”. The gene pool REALLY wasn’t that broad.

Ted and Paul shared with each other what makes their boyfriends happy. There’s surprising similarities but unsurprisingly a lot of differences.

Lucy never met Bill before now, even tho she and Mr Preston were friends. It was just an unfortunate? Timing of events that she had Michael about 2-3ish years before Bill was born, so the families never got to time to meet. Same with Michael, this was the first time meeting Bill.

Bill and Ted definitely wanted to try punk/goth rock and fashion while with the boys, tho the style never really stuck for them. If Evil Robot Bill and Ted were around during this, they would’ve kept the style.

The vampires all being queer and gay and in a poly definitely made Bill and Ted feel more comfortable in their own skin as queer people themselves.

If Bill and Ted eventually learn the truth that the boys are vampires, they wouldn’t care. “Woah, most excellent dudes. Keep partying!”

Ted told nothing of this experience to his dad (for valid reasons).

[lavenderstobins]

The Families of Stranger Things

A short post of established family members for all your fic needs, including info taken from the books and the play. This is done for fun and interest only, but the information is accurate.

The Wheelers

“My mom was young. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul de sac, and started their nuclear family.” (Nancy Wheeler, s1)

Nancy and Mike have a younger sister, Holly, who is 13ish years younger than Nancy and 9ish years younger than Mike. Their parents are Ted and Karen Wheeler, with the play revealing Karen’s maiden name to be Childress.

They have a cousin, Joanna, though it’s unclear whether it’s paternal or maternal. They also have a grandmother referred to as ‘Nana’ in s3.

(The blonde wig Mike puts El in in s1 is said to have belonged to their grandmother who died of cancer, but this was stated in an interview with the show’s hairstylist so it’s debatable whether it’s ‘canon’ or not.)

The Byers

Jonathan and Will are the only children of Lonnie and Joyce Byers. Lonnie is shown to have a younger girlfriend named Cynthia in s1.

Joyce’s maiden name was revealed to be Maldonado by the play. She also had an aunt named Darlene who was thought to be crazy, but it hasn’t been specified what side of the family she was.

The Ives

El is the daughter of Teresa ‘Terry’ Ives. Terry has a sister, Becky. Terry and Becky also have an aunt named Shirley.

The book Suspicious Minds reveals that Becky is the older sister and that their father was named Bill Ives. Both of Terry and Becky’s parents died in a car accident.

The book also reveals that El’s biological father was a man named Andrew Rich, who died in the Vietnam war due to Brenner’s meddling. Andrew’s parents were both alive at the time of his death, but neither were named.

The Sinclairs

Lucas and Erica’s parents are Sue and Charles Sinclair. Sue’s maiden name was revealed to Anderson by the play.

Either Sue or Charles has a brother named Jack, as Erica refers to an ‘Uncle Jack’. Lucas on the Line reveals that Jack is the brother of Charles.

The Hendersons

Dustin is the only child of Claudia Henderson. The play reveals that his father is a man named Walter Henderson and that Claudia’s maiden name is Yount.

The Mayfields

Max Mayfield is the daughter of Susan Hargrove. Runaway Max reveals that her father’s name is Sam Mayfield. She also has an uncle Jack (revealed by her writing him a letter in s4) but it’s unclear what side of the family he’s from.

Briefly, Max’s stepfather was Neil Hargrove, and her stepbrother was Billy Hargrove. After Billy’s death, Neil divorced Susan. Susan’s maiden name has not been revealed.

The Harringtons

Not much is known about Steve’s family. Canonically, Steve refers to his father as an asshole and claims that his mother is ‘super well-respected’. Neither of them have yet been named.

Steve’s paternal grandfather is named Otis Harrington, revealed via the essay Steve wrote in s2.

It is unknown whether Steve is an only child or has siblings.

The Buckleys

Even less is known about Robin’s family in the show. Robin notes that her mother reminds her of her flaws on a daily basis.

Rebel Robin reveals that Robin’s parents are named Melissa and Richard Buckley. It also states that she has a grandmother named Minerva, though it doesn’t state which side of the family.

The book states Robin to be an only child.

The Munsons

Eddie was taken in by his paternal uncle, Wayne. His father was incarcerated and had previously taught him how to hotwire cars.

Flight of Icarus reveals that Eddie’s father is called Al Munson, further backed up by the play revealing him to be called Alan Munson. Eddie’s mother was named Elizabeth and she died of an illness when Eddie was just six years old.

The Hoppers

James “Jim” Hopper was previously married to a woman named Diane. They had a daughter together named Sara, who died of cancer when she was still a child.

Hopper’s father was also named James Hopper. He also has a deceased grandfather who is unnamed.

(Hopper’s ex-wife, Diane, remarried a guy named Bill and had another child whose name is unknown.)

[cherrieguroo]

tarot stream notes

1- og tgwdlm kickstarter earnt the least amount of money, and its possible reprise becomes the most earning.

2- they'll reveal 5 things, 3 mentioned before, 2 never mentioned

3- there's people in jon's home and mariah joked about getting in character as doug and going to arrest them if they reach a certain goal

4- pokey doll prototype has little smiling embroidered eyes. he's also bigger than nick's head in case you wanted a size reference

5- nick is streaming from a cathedral

6- nmt3 stage ver talked about again, there'd still be narrations, miss holloween would be standalone due to money and time constraints. nmt3 was a planned end for hf

7- miss holloween wouldn't be like workin' boys because workin' boys was set just in the theater and that's why it worked

8- TAROT FINALLY STARTING

9- "it's more accurate to say it's like an oracle deck"

10-

11- they invoke the names together and it's fully off-sync until they reach tinky. they're still off-sync just less

12-

13-

14-

15-

16- starting off with one card readings, then increasing, and one person will get a 5 card reading

17- first card pulled is The Alchemist (23), which is hidgens!!

18- shoutout to nicole rodriguez, who drew art for all 35 cards!!! we love nicole in this household

19- paul fucks with the meaning

20- paul gabriel is a canon character in the hatchetfield universe it seems

21- doll showcase again

22- next card is for lauren, The Singular Voice (2)

22- audience card pull?

23- we got The Father, which is bill!!

24- OH MYG OD

25-

26- JAMES GETS A 3 CARD READING, past is The Oracle, which is hannah!

27- I THINK I SAW A CHARLES CARD OHMyGoD

28- james tolbert has had future-predicting dreams since childhood

29- present card is The Warrior Of Light, which is becky's card!

30- future card is The Collector, SHERMAANNNN. no sheila card it seems 😔😞😔😔

31- SPEAKING OF SHERMAN AND SHEILA, JAIME'S HEREEE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

32- JAIME GETS A CARD !!!!! she gets the oracle so no image attached here.

33- later this year this will be a physical tarot set up for purchase

34- matt's here and he'll pull a card! he gets The Witch, which is miss holloway!

35- I THINK I SAW A LUMBERAXE CARD? LET'S FUCKING GO?

36- cinderella's castle kickstarter surpassed!!!

37- info about the next possible project! ORBWEAVERRRRR. file name is Orb Image.jpg

38- charles coven mentioned in yellow jacket recap. he wants the fosters "for some nefarious reason"

39- orbweaver was the planned ending point of nightmare time. also would be staged

40- hannah is 20 now

41- the rats' castle is a potential story for the castle series

42- 3 cards for mariah, past is The Mastermind Oh my god is this charles please be charles IT'S CHARLES

43- "i look fucking sexy" —james tolbert talking about the card art

44- present is The Outcast, the "meanest card in the deck", richie

45- future is The Lovers, pete and steph

46- pokey showcase number 3. also i'm gonna put all of this under a read more once the stream ends

47- curt's turn for a reading. he gets three. first is past, The Fool, aka The Worst card... this card is ted spankoffski

48- present is... not being revealed yet, It's info time woooo. CAST PARTY MASSACRE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!!! hf project most likely to be a movie

49- Now it's time for the present card. curt gets The Seed, alice woodward!!

50- charlotte & zoey cards spotted

51- future iss The Wounded Soldier, tom

52- masks are mandated in the tgwdlm rerun showings

53- kim's here!! she gets 3 cards as well. first off is past: The Chaste Maid, GRACE CHASITY

54- present is the warlock

55- future is The Rebel, lex foster!!

56- next up is jon with 3 as well. joey's gonna do 5 and jeff will do 3

57- jon's first card is The Constable, detective shapiro!!

58- i have no idea how i've gotten so many images in this post while on mobile. anyways, present is The Blade of Truth, general john mcnamara

59- future is THE ADULTERER LMAO hello charlotte sweetly my love

60- pokey doll showcase number 4 yaaaay

61- three cards for jeff! first off we've got The Barmaid, emma perkins!! or zoey.. or nora? jk it's emma woohooooo

62- present is The Hunter, max jägerman!

continues in the reblogs!

[captainxtra]

Major June 26th Political Update!

So, Paxton vs Free Speech Coalition and Birthright Citizenship + National Injunction cases will be settled most certainly tomorrow.

Keep an eye and ear out.

------

Now onto the Spending Bill news!

Here is a combined summary of all the updates from the Politico articles I checked:

The Republican-led "megabill" (also referred to as the "One Big Beautiful Bill") is facing numerous challenges and undergoing significant revisions due to rulings by Senate Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough and internal disagreements within the GOP. Republicans are pushing to pass this comprehensive domestic policy bill—which includes tax, defense, energy, immigration, and health care provisions—before a self-imposed July 4 deadline, using the budget reconciliation process to bypass a Democratic filibuster.

Key Challenges and Parliamentarian Rulings:

Medicaid Provisions: The parliamentarian has dealt a major blow to the GOP's health care plans by ruling that several key Medicaid provisions cannot pass with a simple majority. This includes a plan to reduce Medicaid costs by cracking down on state provider taxes, which was expected to generate substantial savings, and proposals to exclude undocumented residents from Medicaid. These rulings have created an estimated $250 billion budgetary shortfall for Republicans.

Civil Service and Pension Reform: Initial proposals to restructure the federal workforce, such as giving federal employees an "at-will" designation and billing unions for official activities, were ruled out of order by the parliamentarian. Republicans are now exploring changes to their pension reform plan, proposing to increase federal employees' retirement contributions to 15.6 percent (from 9.4 percent) to help fund the megabill, though members of Congress, their staff, and federal law enforcement would be exempt. Democrats and unions strongly oppose these changes.

CFPB Funding: Senate Banking Republicans are proposing to cap the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's (CFPB) funding at 6.5 percent of the Federal Reserve's operating budget, a reduction from the current 12 percent. An initial attempt to eliminate CFPB funding entirely was deemed ineligible. This new proposal awaits parliamentarian approval.

AI Moratorium: The parliamentarian has requested Senator Ted Cruz rewrite a proposed 10-year moratorium on enforcing state artificial intelligence (AI) laws, clarifying its scope of funding. While the measure is tied to a new $500 million fund for AI infrastructure, concerns remain that it could implicitly affect the entire $42 billion broadband program. The AI moratorium has also created divisions within the Republican party.

"Revenge Tax": Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has asked lawmakers to remove a projected $52 billion "revenge tax" from the megabill, stating it is no longer necessary due to a "new understanding" with other developed countries regarding a global tax agreement, where central taxes will not apply to U.S. companies.

Overruling Parliamentarian: Despite calls from some conservative Republicans to do so, Senate Majority Leader John Thune has stated that the Senate will not move to overrule Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough, emphasizing the importance of preserving Senate norms.

Approved Provisions:

SNAP Plan: The parliamentarian has approved a modified version of the Republican plan to shift some costs of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) onto states. This is a significant win for Republicans, as it allows them to maintain a crucial $41 billion spending cut for the bill.

Internal Republican Divisions & Negotiations:

Medicaid Moderates: The proposed reduction of provider taxes in Medicaid expansion states is facing a "Medicaid-fueled mutiny" from moderate senators like Susan Collins, who find the proposed $15 billion rural hospital stabilization fund "inadequate." Some are threatening to block floor debate without more clarity on Medicaid changes.

SALT Deduction: Blue-state Republicans have rejected a Treasury offer to raise the cap on the State and Local Tax (SALT) deduction to $40,000, calling it "unrealistic." This remains a key unresolved issue.

Public Land Sales: Five House Republicans have declared a "red line" against including public land sales in the megabill, threatening to vote against it. They view it as a "grave mistake" and a "poison pill." This provision also faces strong Senate opposition.

Leadership Meetings & Deadlines:

Senate Majority Leader John Thune met with President Donald Trump at the White House as Republicans work against their self-imposed July 4 deadline. There is skepticism among some in the Senate GOP about whether they can get the bill to the President by this deadline. An initial vote to begin debate on the bill is now not expected before Saturday.

Kansas Governor Laura Kelly (D) anticipates that Senator Jerry Moran (R-Kan.), despite his objections to certain bill provisions, will ultimately vote with his party due to pressure from the comprehensive nature of the megabill.

The combination of parliamentarian rulings, internal Republican dissent, and complex negotiations across various policy areas is making the passage of the "megabill" a challenging and fluid process.

------

It seems that the bill is still being worked on so contact your Senators on troublesome provisions, reminding them to invoke the Byrd Rule against troublesome provisions should a procedural vote come before a new text is released.

General Page to call on the bill:

Page to call against Section 203, the provision that targets courts by requiring an expensive bond be payed to sue the government:

Page on AI regulation Ban:

------

Oh and congrats to Zohran Mamdani!

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

art blocks killing me. still.

[fencecollapsed]

I love musical theater. I may not be a theater kid stereotype, but I always found it as an interesting way to tell a story. But despite the fact I personally don’t think it’s that big of a deal, a lot of my relatives seem to take me as “the musical girl”. My mother made my 17th birthday musical themed. A lot of my Christmas presents were musical related, I’m sure you’d get it. A couple of weeks back though, my cousin in Michigan, who I don’t really know, suddenly sent me a DVD with blue sharpie on it, simply reading “The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals” in all capital letters due to how much of a mouthful that name is, I’m going to refer to it as TGWDLM for the rest of this. The DVD itself was rather normal looking. She didn’t send me the box it came in, which is probably the reason why it was labeled in sharpie, cause without it, god knows what it could be. It could be a musical or a gore video, so thanks to her for that.

As for the contents... Well, it was a Pro-shot of a musical! The story was about a man named Paul, a guy who... didn’t like musicals! The opening song seems to portray this as a huge deal but to be honest, it isn’t. One day, on the opening night of a Mamma Mia! production in the real-life ghost town of Hatchetfield, Michigan (but populated, obivously), a meteor hits, carrying alien spores of a musical hivemind. One interesting fact is that the zombies are the only ones who sing, and dear god, some of their songs are so camp, but I guess that’s the joke. Also, I can definitely see an influence from Invasion of The Body Snatchers, hell, they even reference it. The musical itself had more laughs than scares for me, but the curtain call gave me fucking chills. The unusual parts though, come from not the musical itself, but what comes after it. There’s a behind-the-scenes, with a lot of content. There were audition tapes, director's commentary, easter eggs... I personally found it as fascinating as the musical itself! There was some mentions of a earlier version of the script, with some interesting parts that weren’t in the original, for example; Paul, Ted, Bill, and Charlotte all worked at a review site similar to IGN or Buzzfeed, or that Alice, in a strange trance, spouts out a bible quote. I began to feel like these random people, from an obscure theater company, were people I knew. But as fun as the behind the scenes are, that is not why I’m here. After the behind-the-scenes, there was just... A black screen. For like, 4 or 3 minutes… Then a blue screen with white text, with a font that looks like those fonts in analog horror, with one word. “APOTHEOSIS”.

There’s more after this too. The following is a very different feeling compared to the behind-the-scenes. It appears to be the night the pro-shot was recorded. It shows footage of the curtain call, when Emma was dragged backstage. Then, it cuts to security footage backstage. Immediately Emma’s actress, who I think I’ll just call Lauren, since that’s her real name, goes out of character. The others don’t let go of her, instead ejecting her out of the crowd. She lands on her ass and says “Ow.” in a tone that says “What the fuck dude? Why’d you throw me?”. The others are silent. Lauren gets up and after a moment looking at the others, decides to take off her bandage, revealing a real scar underneath. Lauren seems unsettled by this, but it’s made worse when everyone else approaches her, talking to her as if she IS Emma Perkins, despite her insistence. They then got closer, and closer. Lauren tried to back away, but they got closer. Eventually, Lauren was completely surrounded, and they... I... I can’t say it. I just can’t. All I’ll say is that audience members found the room covered in blood and mysterious blue goo. The blue screen appears again, the text now saying “THEIR RETELLING SUCKED ANYWAYS.”

After whatever the fuck that was, I kinda had to dig deeper? I had this mix of morbid fascination, horror, and an urge to somehow bring all this to light. Well... That and how at first I assumed it was a performance act, only to find out via a google search that it was all real, Lauren Lopez was presumed dead, and the rest of the cast are missing to this day.

So I talked to people who were at the closing night show. When it was recorded. They reported being genuinely convinced in some segments, like when Emma quote unquote “Looked at Ted’s eyes in horror, like she saw nothing there” and praised the “practical effects”. They also said that the few who lingered after the curtain call heard screaming. Those who checked backstage saw... Well, you know.

I didn’t find much about it though. Only this weird cult website when searching for random tag words related to the musical. It was talking about “His singular voice” or whatever and was saying that, like, all voices needed to be eradicated, for His is the only one that should exist, or whatever. Weirdly enough, there was musical theming in there. And... A page about the musical. I can vaguely recall the contents but it’s really hard to. It had a synopsis of the musical kinda biased in the favor of the zombies, with the implications that He caused the musical apocalypse over there. Me and my friends looked at the site once in a discord call and laughed at it. But then I found the actors' faces and how they all were brought to an “apotheosis”. Like... Like in the fucking musical.

It was just a rabbit hole I found myself in at the end of the day though. I easily tucked it into the back of my brain and went on with my life. But then stuff started getting weird. With me, I think. I’ve been more scatterbrained than usual, prone to zoning out for long stretches of time, wandering off conversations to talk about something else entirely, and I’m beginning to hate the sound of other people’s voices and I don’t know why, I was never a social butterfly but I didn’t hate other people talking... Everyday when I brush my teeth I notice my eyes getting... Bluer? I don’t know how, but my eyes have gone to a dark brown, to a light brown, to a hazel, to green, and now it’s getting closer and closer to blue. My friends online have been safe at the time from my sudden hatred of other voices but I can’t really go on voice chats anymore. And my fixation on musicals has only grown as of late. I can’t help but fight the urge to spontaneously sing a show-tune. I hate it.

I’d try to see a psychiatrist or something but I can’t bear to hear another voice, it’s so grating. And I know I should just grin and bear it but the last time I tried that I yelled at them. Not many people like me much anymore. I see why, I must’ve become an asshole to them, but they don’t get it. My eyes have become blue by now, and I think it’s glowing too.

I can’t help but play the songs over and over. I called it camp but I think it’s growing on me. I like Let It Out the most. I relate to Paul a lot right now. And then I noticed a split second shot of... His actor... Being... I can’t say it. I had to vomit. Why wouldn’t I? That was so fucking disgusting. And when I puked, I froze pale at what I just pushed out of my body.

It was blue, viscous sludge. It felt disgusting looking at it, even worse when you hold it. It smelled like ammonia. I ran out of the bathroom. I couldn’t stand to look at it any longer. And that’s when I decided to write this. I’m scared, to be honest, who wouldn’t be? I’ll most likely either be dead and have my corpse puppeteered, or go missing, for another poor soul to inevitably find the DVD and end up like me. I can hear the chimes and hymns of The Singular Voice. I know He wants me to become one with Him. He says it’s inevitable for me. And what choice do I have in the matter anymore?

I’m sorry, I lost.

[maddsmallow]

" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

[fangirlynjunk]

You know I think I want to like put into words my interpretation of TGWDLM as its stands and after the Hatchetverse has had way more content because I'm sure if I saw it stand alone and not AFTER I'd seen Nerdy Prudes I'd have a different feeling, and I saw someone's post that got me thinking

I think for whatever reason Pokotho took an interest in Paul, maybe because of CCRP, maybe he was one of the many born with the gift. I wouldn't be surprised if Paul is actually so averse to musicals because some part of his soul knows and fears Pokotho and therefore fears musicals because they feel/look like a hivemind to him.

So Pokotho took everything Paul knew away slowly. His job, where he spent most of his time. Beanie's, the place he visited every day to see Emma. Charlotte, one of his friends, Alice the kid he used to babysit, his best friend Bill, his new ally MacNamara, then Ted. All of Hatchetfield, the place Paul always loved despite it's flaws.

But not Emma, Pokotho let Paul keep Emma to let him have false hope maybe. Or maybe because somehow Paul was keeping her safe, but either way Emma survived. And I think maybe that was just a cruel way to both lord over how he won in the end to Emma (and Paul, if Paul was still in there), or as a sort of reference to when Emma asked Paul if she was the villain of his life. (and he very tenderly said 'I don't think your a villian Emma' and my heart swelled and I sincerely believe that made Emma fall in love with him because she was always the bad kid and here was Paul breaking that expectation just like how Pete always affirms to Steph that she's smarter then she thinks she is you see what I'm saying?)

Emma wasn't the villain to Paul's life, but she was to Pokotho's plans. I'm still VERY sure if Emma and Paul had the time to develop their relationship in TGWDLM that they could have saved each other, at least. I doubt a happy ending would happen, but they could have at least defeat Pokotho temporarily.

Paul always saw the good in Hatchetfield, something the Lords in Black hate.

I also find it interesting that Prof Hidgens COULD easily be a Pokotho minion but Pokotho only ever seems kind of interested in using him? Like, he was ready and willing so fast in TGWDLM but Pokotho couldn't care less. And in Workin' Boys (assuming the lighting was a clue) I really just think Pokotho took offense to the reworked script or was bored and happens to like hanging out at the theater because... well its Pokotho.

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

What I'm Watching: February-March-April 2025

Time for a speed run.

The Outsiders (1983)

In a small Oklahoma town in 1964, the rivalry between two gangs, the poor Greasers and the rich Socs, heats up when one gang member accidentally kills a member of the other.

I read the book once forever ago and spent a lot of that time sobbing at the dining room table, so I was really looking forward to this. And I was not disappointed.

A Knight's Tale (2001)

Another rewatch in honor of scooping up my third copy of this movie, so I guess it really should go on the list of favorites sooner or later.

Bachelorette (2012)

Three friends are asked to be bridesmaids at a wedding of a woman they used to ridicule back in high school.

Not sure how much of my enjoyment of this movie was due to one shot being an obvious Shining reference, but that's fine.

Scream (1996)

No such thing as a bad Scream movie, but the first one is the best.

Scream 2 (1997)

Because I have a box set.

Scream 3 (1999)

See aforementioned box set.

The Snow Queen (1957)

A young girl embarks on a perilous journey to rescue her friend, who has been taken captive by the Snow Queen and turned cruel by enchanted ice splinters.

This should probably count as a rewatch, but I'm not going to. This has always been one of my favorite fairy tales, and I love how lonely and yet determined this adaptation is.

Evil Dead (2013)

This movie still makes me sick to my stomach, but the emotional stuff hits harder every time.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Two rock-'n-rolling teens, on the verge of failing their class, set out on a quest to make the ultimate school history report after being presented with a time machine.

After only ever seeing this in bits and pieces and memes and gif sets, I can FINALLY scratch this one off my list!

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)

A tyrant from the future creates evil android doubles of Bill and Ted and sends them back to eliminate the originals.

Tubi had all three movies available, so I made a weekend out of it. It was awesome.

Bill and Ted Face the Music (2020)

Once told they'd save the universe during a time-traveling adventure, two would-be rockers from San Dimas, California find themselves as middle-aged dads still trying to crank out a hit song and fulfill their destiny.

Y'know what? This was a solid way to round out a fun, goofy (affectionate) trilogy. I loved it so much.

Insidious (2010)

A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further.

I like James Wan just fine, but I think I prefer when he's NOT doing ghosts. As it is, Poltergeist-but-it-ends-badly is...just fine. But that's all it does for me.

Fright Night (1985)

"Fright Night" sees a teenager believing that the newcomer in his neighborhood is a vampire. He turns to an actor in a television hosted horror movie show for help to deal with the undead.

This could have been shorter, tbh. There were a few scenes that felt like they went on a little longer than necessary, and tighter editing would have kept this from dragging in a couple spots. Other than that? It was great! It also put me into previously unknown territory of looking at Chris Sarandon and going 👀 which I...probably should have seen coming, if I stopped to think about it.

Resident Evil (2002)

A special military unit fights a powerful, out-of-control supercomputer and hundreds of scientists who have mutated into flesh-eating creatures after a laboratory accident.

Not my favorite Milla Jovovich movie, but I still had fun.

The Craft (1996)

A young girl new to a Catholic school befriends a coven of witches whom the other students either shun or fear. But when a powerful invocation goes wrong, the consequences could endanger their lives.

UGH. I love this movie. The fashion, the music, the whole nine. What else do you want me to say?

M*A*S*H (1972-1983)

The staff of an Army hospital in the Korean War find that laughter is the best way to deal with their situation.

Desperate times call for comfort shows, and this one stays relevant. (Also, rest in peace, Loretta Swit. ❤️)