#it's cool to see that level of intensity in someone else and recognize it as the same

[linoguy]

han is such a student of music. it's so nice to see how passionate he is about music and its creation

[choppyama]

Hinata is intensely competitive and he thrives when he’s challenged so when a player proclaim that they want to be his rival, it is the biggest form of an acknowledgment.

“finally someone who doesn’t want to be my rival but instead dream to be on the same team as me and be by my side unlike everyone else🥺” is something you would NEVER catch shoyo saying bc it never mattered if it’s on the same or opposite sides of the net… it’s all volleyball.

wanna play together? Cool✨✨ wanna be rivals? Even better ✨✨✨

while it is true that at the start of the series, Hinata’s abilities in volleyball were on a newbie level and he needed a setter like Kageyama to enhance him, It’s also true that most of the time players underestimates him bc of his appearance,

BUT as soon as they see him play they always acknowledge that he bring something to the table, that aside from being part of the freak duo he’s worth recognizing on his own.

‘Everyone thinks hinata only shine bc of Kageyama’ NO THEY DON’T lol. You’ll always hear random players from rival teams says oh that number 10 surprised me the most! he’s a scary monster! wanna take down Kageyama? gotta take down hinata first’

They see him as an actual threat. They see him as a worthy competitor.

This might be about hinata being acknowledged within a rivalry context but ofc others wants to play with him too, set for him.

and Kageyama? He wants both rivalry and partnership. He actively wants to compete with shoyo, not just on the court but through every little thing they do, and he also wants to toss to hinata for the rest of his life.

so to think that “no one ever appreciates hinata outside of the freak duo” or that “everyone just actively wanted to be his rival and not his teammates” until the inarizaki match is such a disservice to his story.

not only it reduces hinata’s hard work and effort, his ability to convince others to choose him but also downplay Kageyama’s impact on him

when this guy was asking hinata to stay with him forever when they were just 15!

Kageyama being the first ever opponent shoyo’s ever encountered, who took him seriously, never once put his guard down the entire match and even after completely obliterating shoyo’s weak team he still viewed his opponent as an equal I could go on but I digress bc if I start yapping about kghn I’ll never stfu this isn’t abt them LMFAOOOOO

Ok back on topic, It’s not like hinata isn’t allowed to be… insecure (?) He was unsettled by Washijo's comment that he's only valuable with a setter during the Karaneko match. Even when praised by a Kamomedai player, Hinata deferred all the credit to Tobio. it’s understandable, that’s his entire dilemma for more than half of the manga.

but still,

Yes shoyo once had to ‘beg’ his friends for tosses in middle school, yes he had no teammates in the beginning or a partner but HE HAS KARASUNO NOW!!!

He has a very dedicated partner who promised to toss to him anytime he wants. Who makes sure hinata knows he’s integral to the team, who tells him he’s the greatest decoy. who made a whole speech about how much shoyo is needed when he was being insecure about his height. Who tells him he can fly even higher

Hinata has people in his life who believes in him, who appreciates him, respect him, acknowledge him as a worthy rival and partner. He’s doing fine!

*wanted to add his reaction when he was being praised after a match. He’s so cute shoyo i love you

[overculturedswine]

Okay so Proximate. I knew it would be short, but I wasn't quite aware it would be a one-night type game. Anyway.

The movement mechanics are the most apparent thing, and I think it was super cool. Taking your vision of the actual environment, and replacing it with some malformed idea of utility is such a cool idea for gameplay. Limiting how you can move around to just a single word, and the confidence level in that word allows for so much uncertainty and horror. the [Woman 42%, Minced beef 40%, Ketchup 92%] is pretty clearly, uhh, bad news. But [Spine, 17%] is so unsettling. It's next to apparently a mannequin, but what is wrong that it's only 17%? And now I'm wracking my brain trying to think of anything that could maybe look like that? It uses it's gameplay to push it's idea of "companies bad" really well. And the sound design helps with that too! It's good, I noticed it was good. It's not crazy wild or inventive or anything, but it made a few scenes for me.

The visor got pitched in such a 'AI tech bro' type way and I was not thrilled to deal with it just on that alone, but then I started walking around and yeah, it sucks. It sucks in a really interesting mechanical way though, like it gets better over time, especially as you start to learn the layouts of the rooms. I'm nearly always terrible at navigating in games, I spend about half my time in the map sometimes, so when the map got taken away I was half-convinced I'd have to drop the game. But the room layouts are simple enough that it's hard to get snagged on things (co-working I hate you), and the visor will reliably recognize the doors you need to go through, so it all works out. The stupid dog update was at once incredible funny and terrifying. Hearing noises around you and suddenly having your vision taken from you just after having learned someone else like you died here.

This is an issue I had with it, is the text sizes. On PC it asked me to use a controller, so I figured I put it on the TV. And the gameplay sections are fine like that, but the text sizes while reading documents were hard for me to read. I was leaning forward and back, stretching my neck hard depending on what part of the game I was in. I tried to go into options to see if I could adjust that, but literally none of the menu buttons worked. I was able to make it work, but if this were a longer game I would've had to figure something else out. There were different ways to interact with the game I have access to, but if there's a options button in the menu I should be able to press it?

The narrative is pretty simple, it's a short game, it has to be. But it hit really hard. I love Ella and Willow's relationship, obviously it's not like, good, but I found it super engaging. The writing between them is really good, they sound like real people flirting and the humor feels real. I was unaware that there was going to be any queerness in the game, and then it's actually kinda totally about that? Big W. A lot of Ella's dialogue felt super vivid to me. The she panics after rejection and spirals, the way she can't figure out what the problem is and is grasping at straws. I'm trans too, and while I don't have romantic experiences while I've been aware I'm trans, it felt super intense and accurate.

But forcing you to go back to the console after each room is a great idea. It means that you will end up seeing things over and over in each room, and will gather lots of environmental storytelling that way. By the time you reach the end and read the final files, you see where each person died, and you realize that you've been passing by them the whole time. It re-contextualizes tons of stuff that you've seen bit by bit. Early in the game, I noticed how much more had been recycled than normal and my stomach dropped, and maybe that felt better at the end? I don't know really. The disgust as you connect to "Man, 90-something%", hearing his breathing, now fully aware of what it is.

I don't think I was ever really scared of the monster at all, tons. Like when I was dropped into co-working, and the monster was in there, I felt tense, but only because I thought it was going to be a chase and I didn't know how to deal with that. Then I realized that when we make eye contact I can just jiggle the controller sticks and then continue as I was, and it fell away. But that also goes to show how effective the rest of the game is at creeping me out, because I felt reluctant to keep going at times (in good ways for this game lol) and I felt my stomach drop a few times.

Great game, absolutely play it. League tonight?

[cpunkwitch]

Hi!

Npd is narcississtic personality disorder

The terms in this section are for people with npd to use as a way to describe it label a person they feel safest with in the sense that this person is on their level. I know it sounds egotistical, a person with npd has a screwed sense of self with episodes of grandeur which effect our relationships with others, especially bringing about trust issues and feeling like others aren't worth our energy or effort to maintain a relationship with and our equal or chosen person or whatever term we use is something we feel matches us better than others, someone who we see during our episodes as a person that can help us feel stable and less isolated because they are worthy and just as cool or talented (or however we see ourselves) as we are. Interaction from people who aren't them tends to cause a crash or instability because we feel we aren't recognized the way we need to be.

Bpd is borderline personality disorder. People with this disorder have intense emotions and mood swings that make relationships very hard to manage, with episodes of jealousy and paranoid and a fear of abandonment, the terms we use to describe our person help describe our connection to them, a favourite person (or whatever term) is someone we not only feel sad with but someone we latch onto, attach to and seek out our attention and needs from and usually will do lots for them for their approval, often splitting if we fear upsetting or losing them and spending all our time on them, obsession being one of the strongest symptoms.

PPD is paranoid personality disorder, the terms used for this section help describe the person people with ppd feel safest with during paranoid episodes as they can help with rationalizing ones thoughts.

Aspd is antisocial personality disorder, antisocial and asocial are not synonymous, people with aspd isolate and avoid socialising and these terms are used to describe a person they feel safest socializing with, like a close circle you only talk to because talking to anyone else is uncomfortable most times.

Dpd is dependent personality disorder, people with dpd are largely dependent on getting their needs met and having help with rationality from the person these terms are describing. Things like seperation anxiety can occasionally apply to people with dpd as well as other pd's

Szpd is schizoid personality disorder, an interest person is someone a person with szpd takes interest in and shares their interests with where they otherwise wouldn't.

Hpd is histrionic personality disorder, an attention person is a person someone with hpd latches onto and seeks attention from and solely them, a bit similar to how bpd folk get attached to a person for their needs and an npd person latches onto someone because they're deemed equal.

Avpd is avoidant personality disorder, people with avpd avoid more than just social gatherings and public spaces and a safe person is someone they don't avoid, but someone they feel safe enough to relax with and go to instead of "flaking" or "ghosting"

OCPD is obsessive compulsive personality disorder, not to be confused with ocd which is less about ones personality and behavior and more about their thought process. People with OCPD have an "obsession person" they direct their compulsive obsessions towards, this person takes up a lot of their thoughts.

Stpd is schizotypal personality disorder, a familiar or trustable personal beings them a sense of predictability and safety in an episode of feeling like things are dangerous, off in someway or so on.

Hopefully someone can fill in the gaps I missed or correct any missinfo I may have accidentally said.

As for the terms I suggested

Reliant or reliable person(rlp), while it doesn't strictly have to be for dpd is someone you feel you can most rely on to help meet your needs and such.

A grounded or grounding person(GRP) is relied on to help one stay grounded and rationalize thoughts during episodes of psychosis, paranoia, hallucination, delusions, panics and/or so on.

A comfort person(cmfp) is a person one seeks or finds comfort it, to put simply. Especially during episodes of mood swings, crashes, splittings, spirals etc

Compulsed(CMP) was explained, similar to an obsession person, being the subject of one's compulsive obsession.

Attentive person(atvp) is someone who attends to one's needs and provides the attention one seeks out, essentially another way to say attention person but it doesn't strictly have to be hpd

Ego/supply (egp/syp) was explained, people with npd need a "supply"(something we explained on @clusterrune in the npd masterpost) to help with their ego crashes and not self depricate

A protected/protection/protective person(prtp) is relied on to keep one safe during whatever episode, similar to a safe person.

A connected person(cncp) is like a social person, someone you feel more connected to than others and can actively connect and socialize with as apposed to being closed off around for whatever reason you usually would be.

A social person(scp/sclp) too or social circle(SCLC) are people one with aspd goes to for socialising, talks to, as apposed to normality ghosting or giving short dry replies etc

A stable person(sbp) is similar to a grounding person, helps one stabilize during episodes, rationalise irrational thinking etc

A focused person (FCP), which does not strictly have to be for bpd, is someone a person focuses on even to the point of neglecting others and tasks etc, similar to obsession or favourite person.

Abbreviations are a WIP

Hopefully this helps somehow!

ok this is my list so far-

NPD:

chosen person (CHP)

equal person (EP)

worthy person (WP) <- coined by Belladonna the Narc anon

respected person (RP) <- coined by @wittness

higher person (someone above equal person; less common)

favourite person (usually used for BPD, but pwNPD use it too)

BPD:

favourite person (FP)

fixated person

PPD:

safe person (SP)

trusted person (TP)

ASPD:

chosen person (CHP)

exception person (EP/ECP)

partner in crime (PIC) [not exclusive to ASPD]

HPD:

attention person (AP/ATP)

AVPD:

safe person (SP)

DPD:

depended person (DP)

SZPD:

interest person (IP)

OCPD:

Obsession Person

STPD:

Familiar person

Trustable person (TBP)

[juliettedunn]

Gus Porter: An Appreciation and Analysis

I loved Gus when he seemed to be a fairly simple comic relief character, but very quickly he shows himself to be more than that. He may not get as much screen time as the main characters, but he does have two episodes where he is a main focus, and he reveals a lot of depth.

Gus has the common trope of a nonhuman obsessed with human culture and thinking of humans as interesting animals to study.

His obsession with humans is very intense: he founded a human appreciation society, he collects human artifacts, dreams of traveling to the human realm, and memorizes as much information about humans as possible (even though most of it is incorrect). If it wasn’t obvious, humans are clearly his special interest.

Gus is very poor at picking up on other people’s manipulations. In Through the Looking Glass Ruins, he is instantly trusting of Bria and fails to notice several warning signs that she has less than pure intentions.

He is also incredibly eager to be accepted into the group. The whole time, he is basically completely blinded by excitement at getting to hang out with “cool” kids. We learn more about where this stems from in the second Gus-centric episode (and one of my personal favorites), Labyrinth Runners.

In a flashback, Gus doesn’t notice a kid is exploiting him until he happens to overhear the kid admit it. He fully believes the kid genuinely wants to be his friend, just like he does later in his life with Bria.

Both times, he takes what people say at face value, the thought not crossing his mind that they could have ulterior motives.

One of his lines in Labyrinth Runners really struck me. “Everyone thinks I’m the smart one. So why do I act so dumb?”

Gus is what is considered a gifted kid; he’s two years younger than the rest of the Hexsquad because he skipped grades.

And the way he is portrayed in the show is very true to the typical gifted kid experience.

Gus is praised for being smart. He’s been bumped up grade levels, he’s considered a prodigy, he very clearly does amazing on tests. So like all gifted kids, he takes that on as part of his identity.

But someone can’t be smart at all things. And Gus is poor at reading other people. So despite being academically adept, he misses social cues, cues which are very obvious to everyone else.

He doesn’t notice when other kids are pretending to be his friend only to exploit him. That’s something that a lot of autistic people have a problem with.

And in Labyrinth Runners, he fails to recognize Willow, his best friend of many years, as an illusion, whereas Hunter does, despite only having met her once. She was definitely acting out of character, but in a way that would require an understanding of her mannerisms, something Gus doesn’t have a good instinctual grasp on.

His attempts at cheering people up aren’t always the best either. Though Luz did end up getting admitted to Hexside, he prepared for her to fail, and got consulting messages ready. This took the form of giant blue letters saying “Better luck next time.” Obviously, these words are very blunt and come across as quite cold. It is not something that would have made her feel better, but Gus clearly thought that it would, further showing that he doesn’t quite understand how best to comfort someone.

Same with Willow, where he sends her a bunch of illusions to console her and just ends up making the situation worse, unable to figure out the right ways to comfort someone in need, even though he has a huge heart and really wants to be there for his friends.

He’s the best at being there for Hunter. He teaches him the breathing technique, and gets him involved in the Cosmic Frontier fandom. Hunter is also bad at reading social cues and also is autistic I believe, though that’s a whole other discussion. But I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that’s who Gus is best at comforting, someone who is also rather unconventional with emotional issues.

Gus’s failure to see through people trying to manipulate him, and his failure at knowing how to comfort his friends, leads him to believe he is “dumb,” which greatly hurts his self esteem.

Notice, also, that Gus is always trying to entertain his friends. He’s funny, and he knows this and is actively trying to be. Why? Because if he isn’t smart, at least he is funny. He wants to be liked, wants to be seen as cool. And he’s just starting to enter the age where most gifted kids start to falter, where the lack of studying abilities really starts to catch up.

When I hit that stage, I definitely also tried to be “the funny one.” Autistic people are almost inherently funny to neurotypicals, and if people aren’t praising you and admiring you for being smart, at least they’ll like you if you’re funny.

If he’s not fulfilling his “value” as either the child prodigy or the comic relief, then what is his purpose? Such is the crisis many gifted kids go through when they go from being far ahead of their peers, praised as geniuses, to still being above average but certainly not the absolute one in a million wonder that many people told them they were.

Now for another amazing part of Gus - he has shut downs. When he gets overwhelmed, he hits a breaking point and curls up, completely unable to function any longer. Because his magic is so powerful, it impacts his surroundings too. In Labyrinth Runners, he is so overwhelmed he casts a spell over the entire school.

Shut downs and panic attacks feel like this. Of course, they don’t involve real magic like in the show, but the way the school appears as a trippy, foreign landscape they have to navigate is true to how it feels to be overwhelmed as an autistic person. Even though there is no illusion magic, the familiar quickly becomes foreign, and places I’ve been a hundred times before feel wrong.

Willow teaches him a breathing method, and I actually use that breathing method too. I don’t know if it inherently works or if it’s because it’s connected to The Owl House, which is my comfort show, but I actually move through panic attacks and disassociation episodes much faster ever since I started using that technique.

Finally, Gus stims! You can’t tell me that him grabbing the bubble wrap, knocking over items due to lack of spatial awareness, happily shouting “Look at all this human stuff!” and then intently focusing on popping all the bubbles until it was over was not the most autistic thing you’ve ever seen.

Gus is a great portrayal of an autistic gifted kid heading into burn out, academically intelligent but far too trusting, believing everyone acts at face value, and falling very easily into exploitation because of it. Adopting the identity of child prodigy and witty entertainer, and taking a serious blow to his self esteem when he can’t live up to those ideals.

Happily, he now he has real friends, most of whom are neurodivergent like him! As I said before, the almost instant understanding and bond he and Hunter have is largely a result of them both being autistic; they read each other very well and instinctually know how to help each other. I love their relationship so much.

This was a lot longer than I anticipated, but I just had a lot to say about him. He’s getting a lot more appreciation form the fandom recently, but he still is fairly underrated as a character. I love him so much even though I don’t talk about him as much as I talk about other characters, and I do wish he would get confirmed as autistic on screen (though the most I can ever hope for is Luz getting confined to have ADHD, and even that I really doubt). Still, I know he is autistic, and he is amazing.

[randomnatshig]

Okay but like… there’s not enough villain!Natsuo stories with Natshig (in general but also) where people actually recognize Natsuo as being a significant threat and that’s just a gosh dang shame.

Like. The dude is dating the LEADER of the LOV, who can legit kill you with a touch of his hand. Assuming the relationship is like 99.9% of the shippers make it out to be, people should be less worried about pissing off Shigaraki and more worried about staying on Natsuo’s good side.

Because if the relationship is like it is in almost every piece of content with these two, Shigaraki would kill someone for Natsuo. He would NOT kill someone for Natsuo. He would probably level whole cities to make Natsuo happy.

Shigaraki is the leader of the LOV, no doubt. He’s the face of the League, he’s (credited as, and actually is a lot of the time) the brains behind everything they do, he’s the one with the deadly dangerous quirk. But Natsuo has him wrapped around his little finger.

A quick example of this (TW now for a mention of su*cide and a depiction of death):

He had thought he was doing everything right, this whole villain gig. He had a cool villain name, Thanatos, for the Greek personification of death. He had rallied a small group to his cause, 4 or 5 people he trusted, not enough to put his life completely in their hands, but enough to watch his back without stabbing him in it. He had gotten his group fame, or rather, infamy, not so much that they showed up on any top priority hit-list put out by the government, but rather just so much that they were known enough for their name to be whispered in fear.

He had even gotten them protection from the much-more infamous League of Villains, having gone through Giran to speak with their leader, Shigaraki Tomura. The group had to promise credit of large-scale attacks to the League, and stay out of the way of their plans. Thanatos had decided that would work out better for his group in the long run anyways. This way, they stayed out of national news as much as possible, meaning less heroes would be on manhunts for their capture.

He was very careful to never upstage or upset Shigaraki, or any notable member of the League for that matter, and he always made sure his own people did the same. It was a sort of slow, patient waltz, he led, always dancing just out of reach of the spotlight, close enough to feel it’s heat but never enough to be illuminated in its bright, blinding beam.

He never expected the music of his waltz to end with the shrill sound of the record being scratched by the needle of the phonograph.

Thanatos wasn’t sure how he ended up in this position… until he saw him, that is. A tall, dare-he-say buff man with grey eyes and pure white hair. Someone he would have mistaken for a college jock, maybe some volleyball player whose head was so far up his own ass he couldn’t see anything besides himself.

He definitely would not have assumed the man to be a villain.

“Now then, Thanatos,” Shigaraki rasped, saying Thanatos’ name with such sarcasm you could probably feel it through the ground. “You may recognize Natsuo here.”

Natsuo. That was the man’s name. Thanatos paled as he recalled his only prior encounter with the man standing in front of him, scowling down at him.

He had been in a coffee shop, at the front of the line, speaking with a friend of his about how Endeavor could possibly be a hero, with how horrible he was at it. Thanatos may have hinted that Endeavor’s eldest son, now deceased, had offed himself on purpose to get away from him. As soon as he grabbed his drink, and turned to leave, he collided with someone.

Natsuo, whose glare was becoming more and more intense by the second.

His drink went all over Natsuo, and rather than apologize, he had snapped at the white-haired man to watch where he was going, then bitched and complained about the price of his drink until Natsuo, however begrudgingly, offered to buy him a fresh one. Well, okay, maybe offered wasn’t the correct word. Thanatos had been raising such a fuss over his ruined coffee that it was either Natsuo buy him a new one or be escorted out and banned for a week.

He realized now how awful his actions had been, but was it really enough to warrant his death, at Shigaraki’s hands no less?

Speaking of Shigaraki’s hands, one was placed on his arm now, all 5 fingers touching his skin ever so slightly. It was the worst pain Thanatos had ever felt, a searing, burning feeling as his arm turned to dust and faded out of existence. He knew now that it wouldn’t be long before the decaying spread to his whole body.

“Would you like to know exactly what I feel warrants this?” Natsuo asked.

“I’m… sorry,” Thanatos choked out over his own pain, “about the drink.”

“This isn’t about the drink,” Natsuo snapped. “That was just the cherry on top of your little hell cake. Why I really feel you deserve this is because of what you said about my brother.”

“B-brother?”

“Yes, my brother.” Natsuo’s gaze had turned so cold it made Thanatos wonder if he had an ice quirk. “Todoroki Touya.”

Thanatos certainly felt ice run through his veins at the mention of the number 2 hero’s dead son. That made Natsuo Endeavor’s son as well. What was he doing with the villains? With Shigaraki?

The crumbling of his body had reached his shoulders now, and was spreading down his torso. He had hoped he would become numb to the pain, though it did not seem to be happening. The more he turned to dust, the more he felt he would rather jump into the sun itself. He was sure that would be a less painful way to go.

He looked at Shigaraki, gasping out one final word before his vocal cords were destroyed completely: “Why?”

“Why am I doing this?” Shigaraki chuckled, low and horrifying. “Because you fucked with Natsuo. Maybe we’ll use your ashes as a cautionary tale to anyone else who feels like treating him like shit.”

The last thing Thanatos saw as he faded out of existence was Shigaraki placing his hand on Natsuo’s cheek, cupping the slightly taller man’s face like a precious jewel, and drawing him in for a kiss.

[bigskydreaming]

ANYWAY.

Current mood is contemplating an AU wherein Boone (yes that Boone, its been too long since a Dick and Boone shitpost so off we goooooooo) anyway, so AU wherein he graduates from his League of Shadows training around the same time Dick becomes Nightwing, and since I headcanon Boone having known who Dick really is for years because he’s not a complete dumbass and Dick Grayson is a fairly high profile figure and it doesn’t take a genius to look at a picture of him and recognize him as “aka Freddy Lloyd,” I mean, they did live together for weeks or even months.....

POINT IS, so Boone is all done with his training and sees Nightwing bigwigging it up with the Titans and then sees there’s a new Robin in Gotham, and all these thoughts come together in a perfect storm for Boone to be like LETS PLAY “WHAT IF I GO FUCK WITH FREDDY!”

SO. In this AU Nightwing and Shrike’s confrontation slash reunion happens before he ever moves to Bludhaven to be a solo act and when he’s still based out of New York, and actually takes place in Gotham during a period when Bruce is out of town on an extended mission or something, as this Shrike figure starts stalking Robin and Jason is like UMM HELP GIRL, I mean not that I need it CUZ I DON’T, but like if you want to come help with this weirdo I guess that’d be alright, we could hang, its cool.

So Dick trainsurfs down to Gotham all quick like a bunny and is like waaaaaait a minute, this guy calls himself Shrike? That’s weirdly specific, I knew another Shrike once......and Jason’s like maybe this is the same guy? And Dick’s just all umm no, he’s dead. He like, died and stuff. He made like a corpsicle. Definitely not him, its gotta be someone else....oh fucking hell, its Boone. Of course its Boone. Why did it have to be Boone?

And Jason’s like who the fuck is Boone?

Dick shushes him distractedly. Nobody. There is no Boone, only Zuul. Eat your vegetables.

Jason: You are the weirdest person alive, and that’s saying a lot, I live with Bruce. What is going on right now?

Dick: Nothing? *examines himself in a mirror that is actually just a broken piece of window glass procured from yon surrounding rooftops* Hey how does my hair look? Is it wavy enough? I feel like it could be more wavy.

Jason: Is your hair - what? Dude, is this Boone guy like your ex-boyfriend or something?

Dick: Please. As if. He wishes. Also I knew him when we were like twelve. Or eleven. Maybe ten. I forget. It was definitely pre-pubescent though.

Jason: That’s not a denial.

Dick: Its also not an admission and also stop being smart and insightful, its rude and I did not ask. Besides, its not like I’m trying to look good for Boone, eww, he’s a loser, I would never. I’m just trying to look BETTER than him.

Jason: Ahh. Well. That’s different then.

Dick: See? You get it.

Jason: Not even a little bit. If this is what puberty does to you I want no part in it.

Dick: Too late. Its already begun. I spy hairs on your chinny-chin-chin.

Jason: What kind of bizarre Three Little Pigs segue is.....who ARE you right now?

Dick: Stop victim-blaming me for my discombobulation! I haven’t seen Boone in years and he could be here any second now and he already has the lead, I can not let him confront me in a state less than poised, suave and sophisticated, its just the RULES.

Jason: Well you’re off to a stellar start. Why is it so important you win this whatever this is with whomever Boone is and also are you still going to therapy? I feel like maybe not and maybe that was a mistake.

Dick: You’re a terrible little brother, just the worst. And okay, look. Its complicated, see. I met Boone at a very specific time in my life when both of us were kinda floundering in that verb kinda way, not like the Little Mermaid kinda way.

Jason: Stop using similes. I’m begging you. It hurts.

Dick: THE POINT IS......we were both.....kinda lost, at the time. Aimless. Looking for purpose. And one of the things we both ended up kinda turning to in search of that purpose was like.....our natural competitiveness.

Jason: Wait. You’re competitive? You? OMG THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

Dick: I hate you. You are a blight upon the wheatfields of my soul. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I WAS MONOLOGUING. Okay. So. Boone and I, we kinda fell into this cycle of eternal competition, that was intensified by us not really having anything else that was OURS at the time, so it became sorta like....the only thing that mattered? If that makes sense?

Jason: Weirdly, that’s the first thing you’ve said all night that DOES make any sense. Okay. I’m keeping up. Continue.

Dick: So it was like constant one-upmanship. If I snuck in somewhere without a trace, he had to sneak in better. If he was unmoved by being surrounded by dead bodies and gore, I had to be more unmoved. If I escaped from a deathtrap in half the time expected, he had to halve that when it was his turn, and if he made it through an obstacle course while bleeding from a leg I had to beat him while bleeding from both legs, look it was this whole thing.

Jason: Wait, and you knew this guy when you were ten? Where the fuck did you two even MEET? Jason Voorhees’ Little Daycamp of Horrors?

Dick: ANYWAY. The point is everything is about competition with us, it always has been, and like, he’s the only person who was ever able to keep up with me at least at the time and just like I was the same for him, and so we hated each other because we were both mad at the world back then and hated everybody and everything, especially the one and only other guy who kept showing us up, but at the same time, we were closer to each other than anyone else in the world at the time because we were the only ones on each other’s same page and able to stay on that same page so there was like.....weird solidarity in that? Idk. I TOLD YOU IT WAS COMPLICATED.

Jason: No, its okay, I get it. So what happened?

Dick: Oh, our mentor died and Boone thought it was all my fault. His name was Shrike too and given that Boone’s here now and calling himself Shrike, I’m guessing he still does.

Jason: .....uh huh. Was it your fault?

Dick: Only a little bit! It was mostly gravity. That bitch.

Jason: Ooookay, not touching that one. So. In conclusion: he’s.....here to kill you then? Or he’s not here to kill you then.....?

Dick: Oh he’s here to kill me, but ONLY if he can beat me first. If he can’t beat me, then no, he’s not here to kill me, just whine, wangst and moan at me.

Jason: And by beat you, you mean at.....having wavy hair?

Dick: At EVERYTHING. Ugh, were you even paying attention?

Jason: Oh yeah. I’m SO glad we cleared all this up. Next time, just simplify and explain he’s your childhood frenemy turned actual nemesis.

Dick: Huh. Yeah, y’know what, that does pretty much cover it....

Jason: Who you totally want to bone due to unresolved and conflicting feelings stemming from your brief but intense time together in your formative years as well as and compounded by your neurotic obsessive attraction to hyper-competent individuals who challenge you on physical, mental and emotional and even moral levels.

Dick: What the....a) you’re wrong, b) STOP STEALING MY PSYCH TEXTBOOKS and c) you could not BE more wrong.

Jason: Your hair looks flat and lackluster. He’s totally gonna beat you there.

Dick: You’re the actual worst. 

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 15 rewatch thoughts

- mayfeld does hear when the droid talks to him the first time, you can see him pretending not to like he hopes he’ll just go away haha. I also guess he’s had a lot of time to think, picking apart pieces of the large fascist machine he used to be a part of and going over everything he clearly regrets 

- hahaha fennec and boba are in the back intensely keeping watch the entire time they’re on the prison planet. I suppose a good two thirds of this crew is uuuuh extremely wanted by the new republic lol

- the thing din’s voice does at the end when he says “but you still know your imperial clearances and protocols. don’t you.” is beyond fucking words, it sends a chill right through me

- 

1) din fiddling with that panel; I think he’s phenomenally nervous behind the helmet here, that’s the sort of keeping his hands busy he does when he’s anxious and 2) why the hell does boba have this many chairs instead of like space for cargo haha does he throw bounty hunter parties in here or what

- ngl boba correctly guessing at a glance what sort of ore they’re mining and informing everyone in his sardonic deadpan voice is Big Sexy  

I love how he and fennec are standing together when they’re both present in these opening scenes too, first at the very back when they’re keeping a lookout: 

and then in the foreground while they discuss the scan 

it’s a nice subtle way to get across that they already have a dynamic, they’re somewhat used to working together as a unit at this point. (she’s also looking over at him when she asks what they might be mining in there, like she’s mostly asking his opinion instead of opening it to the floor. they’re talking the mission out between them before din enters the conversation)

- the inside of slave 1 when the ship’s moving makes me a little bit motion sick, I really love seeing it but I hope we don’t stay in here too often haha

- aaaw the small weary sigh din gives upon realizing none of his bros can go with mayfeld. I’m sorry about basically your entire life buddy

-

the awkward way din adjusts the helmet like he’s trying to get used to the way it feels ;______;  

- ah the distinct implication that mayfeld is needling din about this because he’s actually feeling super uncomfortable being back in empire gear and he needs to transfer that discomfort over onto someone else so he won’t have to feel through it... very psychologically understandable and such a fucking piece of shit asshole character trait to give in to haha

- din’s level of side eye is so epic you can see it straight through the helmet fhaskjfhd

- neat detail: din’s head turns slightly toward mayfeld when he calls mandalorians a ‘race’. (it’s sort of cool  that we as the audience know why that bothers him, but mayfeld probably didn’t even pick up on it). also shows that mayfeld doesn’t actually quite understand what he’s talking about, even when he makes decent points he’s caught up in his own myopic nihilistic point of view. ‘we’re all the same’ ------> ‘everyone’s secretly as shitty as me deep down’. (which also betrays a lot of self loathing, since we see later he does have the capacity to NOT be that shitty when he chooses to. rick famuyiwa manages to get a LOT of really interesting nuanced stuff into this character in two short episodes, that’s super impressive)   

the bright sunny look on mayfeld’s face when din finally gives in and takes the bait tho fsajdkfhasj he’s awful but that’s very funny

- rip all these excellent dudes who really only wanted to accomplish the noble goal of ruining the empire’s entire day and didn’t know they were also trying to blow up My Dad Who Does Not Deserve Any Of This, it’s honestly just really sad that there’s no moment to talk that out

well at least they blew up the entire refinery on their way out, I’m sure that’s the way they would have wanted their memories honored lol

- the comedy beat of din running out of ammo for the first time ever and the music briefly cutting out for it is so so good for me 

hahahaha din seems to actually take a moment to be a little aghast at that dude who ends up crushed under the treads of the tank thing, he’s just sort of staring for a few seconds too long and that’s how pirate nr 2 takes him by surprise and shatters his shoulder armour 

- I feel a bit bad -- two of the ‘pirates’ try to hold on to each other for balance and then din punches them apart and off the tank :( I mean it’s not like he could just let them murderate him either but like. ouch I’m guessing this one might haunt him for a while for several reasons huh

(the sequence is actually this guy, let’s call him pirate 3, swings the spear at din and misses, instead hitting his buddy who’s trying to get to his feet, then looks horrified and grabs for him to make sure he doesn’t fall off, and then... mando’s forehead happens to them haha)

- poor fennec and cara just running up that hill while everything’s on fire, they must be wondering what the FUCK is going on (at least cara knows that things blowing up is a sure sign din djarin is in the middle there somewhere)

- everything about carano in real life aside for one second -- I do like that we get this contrast in build between our main female characters of the episode and the way their costume designs enhance it

 - awwww the little gesture din does with his hand after he removes it from mayfeld’s chest after stopping him from leaving, it’s just so... sweet. it’s a little bit appeal, a little bit reassurance, it just lightens/softens the tone of what he says a bit (he has quite a lot of like... not conciliatory mannerisms exactly, but small touches here and there that are there to communicate that he’s not angry/aggressive or trying to be a dick about it even when he’s emphatic. I keep wondering how much that is just him being him and how much is him being practiced at settling other people’s hot tempers)  

- this shot is just... genius

it’s din seen entirely from the outside, with nothing of what we’ve learned to recognize as him for almost two seasons now in view -- not even his face, which we have at least a tenuous fledgling attachment to from before. it’s like we get introduced to him almost as if anew again and again in this episode, just like he’s getting introduced to new aspects of himself and what he’s willing to do and having to struggle to find ways to have that fit with who he is. his discomfort and stress is our discomfort and stress. it’s so interesting 

- I can’t stop cackling at this moment even in all the tension -- you only get a sliver of din’s profile but you can feel the sheer MURDER radiating off him sdhfasjk

- aaaaaaaagh the way you get a whole different view of din’s habitual impassiveness when you can actually see his face... the way he keeps appealing to mayfeld ‘just don’t make more trouble, just shut up’, the way he goes completely silent and watchful and frozen..... those are all really obvious trauma responses, and it leads you to wonder how often he touches into that even when he’s in his element, when he’s got the full armour on. hmngh my heart  

- ‘the believer’ is such a galaxy brain title for this episode, because it could be referring to either of the three men around this table or all of them at once. (and crucially the only person whose beliefs aren’t in a living, breathing state of adapting to the world around them is the empire officer, with his horrific inhuman ideology. mayfeld thinks he believes in nothing, and proves himself explosively wrong by the end of the episode, and it’s redeeming for him in some capacity. din is facing a more internal dilemma of different parts of his (and his culture’s) beliefs/values clashing and having to decide which one’s more important, to his identity and to how to exist in the world as a person (and love for the baby wins out supremely in the end. of course it does Y_____Y). the empire dude only sees the same sterile fascist world at the end of his shit rainbow that he’s clearly always done, even when faced with proof that it’s untenable. (I mean he wouldn’t give a fuck that it’s immoral because he’s y’know evil, but he’s not even fazed by the fact that the empire provably FAILED, and failed so quickly) his belief is a dead and deadening thing to contrast the others. man when this show goes off with the themes it goes OFF haha) 

- love the triumphant heroic mando music kicking in as we’re finally getting to pick off imps, love that for us 

- din’s protective instincts at work again, he helps mayfeld to his feet and makes sure he’s safely on board before going further in himself ;_______;

- fennec’s professional approval at mayfeld’s shot hahaha. well I guess he was supposed to be a sharpshooter back in the day huh

I do Not think she likes mayfeld even after all that, though, the withering look she sends him on her way past... should have killed him stone dead on the spot

- seeing din back in the armour is like a physical relief, I can breathe again haha

- tfw you catch yourself thinking ‘at least when all this is over we can go back to the razor crest and everything will be normal again’ and then you rEMEMBER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[pencilofawesomeness]

htryds microshot: book nerds

October 7, X778

 It was starting to get colder, but secretly, Levy couldn’t wait for it to be colder. Then, nobody would complain if she curled up inside of her dorm-apartment and read all day long.

Not that there wasn’t stuff to do in the guild, of course, or with Jet and Droy. In fact, there had been a ton of new members this year, and some of them were even her age, which was nice, so Levy really should get to know them better.

The Strauss siblings were nice, even though the oldest one had quickly gotten…intense. Lisanna and Elfman were very kind though (and she was sure Mirajane was too, but she wasn’t the most approachable, so Levy wouldn’t know), and then there was the other group of… siblings? They seemed like siblings, with the way they stuck together, though Levy also knew that that wasn’t always indicative, but she, Jet, and Droy only knew other from the orphanage, but they were like brothers to her, and they stuck together like they were family, too.

Although the youngest boy and the older one did look similar. They both had black hair and red eyes, and red eyes weren’t something that was common. Not that the girl, Wendy, looked anything like them though. Wendy and Rogue she had the most contact with. They were delightful children—and quite young; it was amazing they could perform magic at their age—and very polite. She had been helping them with reading material ever since she found out they were still learning. And of course they were—they were only six or seven. The older one, Gajeel, was closer to her age, but he was more…stand-offish. And intimidating. She wasn’t sure if it was all of the piercings or the way he always glared and sulked in corners. What was it about the oldest of a group of three being the scariest? (Well, there was nothing scary about Jet, so that observation was limited to the two new groups of Fairy Tail.)

Enough about that, though. Levy had properly introduced herself, and that was what mattered. Not that that was recently, or anything. Meeting new people was still the difficult part of being in the guild, not that she regretted joining for one moment.

Levy knew the way to the bookstore by heart. She was positive she could navigate the building itself blind by now, though that wasn’t a large feat; it was pretty small. Although, she had still yet to read the store’s entire selection, so it was still plenty large enough—for the time being.

What was she in the mood to read this time? Hm, maybe fiction. Levy enacted her normal strategy of browsing until she had a suitable stack, wandering between the aisles and sections and stopping whenever she saw something interesting.

Or she stopped when she ran into somebody. Literally. Which wasn’t supposed to happen because there was never anybody in this section, but it happened this time and—

Levy blinked, wondering if she was imagining things. “Gajeel?”

The boy would have jumped out of his skin if he could. “What? Nothing, I wasn’t doing nothin’—!” It was his turn to blink. “Oh. You’re from the guild.”

“Yeah.”

They stared in a moment of silence. Levy wasn’t sure what else to say in a situation like this, especially since he was blocking the bookshelf she was wanting to look at.

Wait a second—there was a book in his hand. He was trying to hide it behind him, but she could recognize that cover anywhere. “Do you like the Detective Danger series too?” Levy blurted.

It was so hard to find other people to talk about it with, because it wasn’t exactly a popular series. It was simple, corny, and a little predicable—but it was charming and heartfelt, and it was enjoyable to read nonetheless, especially for relaxation. Not that Levy had a lot of people to talk about books period with, but the Detective Danger series was not something people followed beyond a stray book or two, so Levy never had anyone to discuss it with.

Gajeel’s face started to turn red. “Wh-what? No,” he denied quickly. Then he seemed to realize that he was holding the fourth book in the series. “I-I mean, it’s okay. Easy read in between training. And stuff.”

Levy resisted the urge to giggle to herself, but it was a hard thing to suppress. Ah, to see the denial up close. There was a time when Levy too would deny her enjoyment of the series (because honestly, it was designed for kids, and even though she was a kid, technically, she had long since moved past that reading level) but the series started to really get interesting around book nine, so she might as well see it through to the end.

“Okaaaay. How’d you like the ending of the ski-lodge case, then?” she asked, feeling devious. If there was anything to have a strong opinion about, it was—

“Are you kidding? It was awesome! The way he choked a guy with a hat, stopped a bullet, and caught that chick, all while skiing down the Deadly Hill? I— I mean… i-it was okay I guess.”

Her face split into a grin. “Busted,” she giggled, and Gajeel deflated like he had been caught doing something embarrassing.

Levy was just thrilled that she would have someone to discuss that twist in book nine with. “Have you read the Underwater Case yet?” she asked.

He looked down at the book in his hand awkwardly. “Ah, no… I haven’t read any since I was in Denish, and even then, there wasn’t really time.”

“I’m sure you’ll get there soon. I remember I read that one—” She pointed to the Volcano Case in his hands “—really fast. Oh, and when you get to the fifth book, I even got the special edition with the extra scene.”

“They make those?”

“Only a few! I got really lucky with that one. Would you…want to borrow it?”

For a second, Gajeel looked overwhelmed. Oh no, she had gone too fast again, hadn’t she? It had just been so long since she could talk about books with people, and even then, the librarian might not count…

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Er, thanks.”

But maybe she can add one more person to her list.

----

You can’t convince me that Mr. Long-coat-tie-and-fedora didn’t internalize cheesy detective fiction at least once in his life. (I headcanon that he did read some stuff post coming to the future to, ya know, learn that modern language stuff, so kid’s fiction is simple enough for that.) He might have been too stubborn to continue it in Phantom Lord, but Gajeel has time (and a fellow reader) now. Meanwhile Levy went through the classic introvert “I don’t know how to talk to people unless it’s about <special interest> and then I can talk a lot.”

Ah, the simple friendship of twelve and thirteen year-olds. 

[neptunesnxpple]

Undercover Lover 1/2? - Benimaru x m!reader

Summary: Benimaru infiltrates a singles night to find an undercover Evangelist member intent on taking down Asakusa. Will he find something else instead?

Wordcount: 2138

Tags: misunderstandings, beginnings, m!reader, singles night

A/N: 18+ only. Do not read or interact if you are a minor. Thank you.

“I don’t see why I have to be dressed up for this,” Benimaru complained. The twins adjusted the sleeves of his black kimono, patting at his black and white striped hakama.

 “It’s an undercover mission,” Hinata started,

 “Yeah you’re going to kill it on the dance floor, and then kill the infiltrator,” Hikage added.

 “An undercover mission at some get together hardly suits me. Konro is much more fitted for this.” He mused. Ever since the Asakusa fight he’d started the heavy battle of accepting his role. Even harder was coming to terms with the amount of trust the community put on him. Now he’d have to hide who he was for that community. He walked out of the captain’s quarters into the main area, team 7 and 8 were on standby, hovering by computers with headsets dispersed among the higher-ranking members. Konro passed Benimaru an earpiece while Iris fit a small camera on one of his chest pieces.

 “Remember, we’re counting on you.” Konro clasped a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. He doubted he could hold up to it.

 —

 The venue was lined with hydrangeas, blue and purple, situated on the water’s edge and decorated with warm, glowing lights. By all accounts it was beautiful. People were trickling in, dressed in semi formal attire, mostly around a similar age range. Benimaru kept a watchful eye, making a mental note of anyone that stood out. Unfortunately, he recognized most of them as locals. At least he could rule those out and focus on the out of towners.

 ‘You have to go in at some point’ his earpiece buzzed,

 “Relax I’m just gathering intel,” he muttered. Reluctantly he made his way to the door. The inside was just as carefully decorated. Hanging paper sculptures, soft lighting, and many small tables set up. He wasn’t sure the specifics of this event, but he didn’t think it’d matter. He tried to fade into the wall when an event organizer cornered him, smiling with a name tag and clip board in hand.

 “All guests are required to sign in and wear a name tag,” they chirped, “if I could just get your name and email address,” Benimaru groaned. This was already more trouble than it was worth as far as he was concerned.

 “Benimaru,” he stated, taking the clipboard, and scribbling that down as well as a fake email address. He took the name tag and slapped it on blindly. It didn’t matter where it went. The event staffer took back the clipboard.

 “Alright take a seat and we’ll start in 10.”

 Benimaru picked a seat on the far side, watching as the other guests filled in.

 “First we’d like to welcome you all to singles night. We’ve prepared refreshments and a light dinner spread. Check the letter on the back of your card, we’ll start with group A staying where they are and if you’re in group B you’ll be moving in a clockwise fashion. Then there will be a brief intermission while-”

 Benimaru couldn’t listen anymore. A singles night was the perfect cover for an evangelist looking to recruit a younger population. He’d have to be on his guard. He checked the back of his card. Group A. So, he’d be in wait and the potential enemies would be coming to him. This gave him the advantage. He sat back, hand twitching at the ready under the table. Time ticked slowly. The locals didn’t mind too much, he wasn’t much for frivolous conversation when he had a goal in mind and maintained the appropriate level of conversation. Those that came from out of town he was less forgiving to.

 “You decided to come to Asakusa for this?” He accused, causing the current victim to recoil at the animosity in his voice, “This seems like something you could have done back in your town. What’s the real reason for you visit?” Not long after the timer beeped and the insulted date would leave him, the next one going along just as well. None of these singles looked too suspicious, although they were irritable by the time they left.

 “Benimaru? Nice to meet you,” you introduced yourself, smiling warmly. He was an interesting looking fellow, the mismatched eyes were something you hadn’t seen before. He raised an eyebrow at you, arms crossed over his chest.

 “And what brings you here?” His fingertips warmed. You laughed nervously. It was a cliché opening, but the way he looked you was enough for you to overlook it. Intense.

 “Well I’m new to the area, I just moved in a couple of weeks ago, and thought it would be a great opportunity to meet some of the other people around my age,” you explained, “plus if I could meet someone special that’s a bonus. Why’d you decide to come here tonight?” Careful eyes scanned you from top to bottom, and you were glad you put the extra effort in your clothing choices. Benimaru struggled to come up with a reason besides blatantly saying what he was looking for, when a voice in his ear spoke up,

 ‘Say you’re trying to find the right one’. He could hear the exasperation on the other side. This whole time they’d been coaching him, and he’d been having some less than desirable results. This was close enough to the truth that he could allow it.

 “I’m trying to find that special someone.” Yes, special. And the guy in front of him was hitting all the boxes. Out of towner, recently moved here. Laughing at his initial investigative question. This guy was good. He took a cool sip from the glass in front of him, “what made you move all this way?”

 “I got a new job and thought it would be a fun change of pace. I like the unique energy. Are you from Asakusa?”

 “Born and raised. Now this job you were talking about-”

 “Yes, I’m a bit of a bug specialist, an educator,” you answered quickly, feeling flustered as you watched his eyes narrow. The heat pooling in your chest began to work its way up your neck. You were starting to feel a bit intimidated, not in a bad way though, and kicked yourself for answering so eagerly. This felt like an interview almost. You scrambled to turn this back into a conversation, “What do you do? Um, for fun or as a job.” Nailed it. You gave yourself a mental thumbs up.

 “I’m a busy guy, I don’t have much time for trivial matters. I suppose you could say I’m a bit of a community leader.” He watched as you fidgeted, not with the same amount of distaste as the others had. Something was different here.

 “Oh, I guess I’m lucky then-” before you finished the timer set off. As you stood up and turned to leave, a hand grabbed your wrist.

 “Welcome to Asakusa.”

 --

 When the break came you made a beeline for the entrance, walking around the side of the building and welcoming the cold air. For the most part everyone had seemed friendly. Things were a lot different from where you were from, and while it was exciting you were constantly aware that you’d sometimes say the wrong thing or share too much too fast. Still, being a gay guy in Asakusa you didn’t expect so many options. It made you wonder how many others there were that didn’t come. You rested against the wall, closing your eyes, and taking a deep beath. You listened to the quiet movement of the river nearby. You didn’t notice the person rounding the corner until two hands slammed into the wall surrounding your head, a large body blocking your view of the river. It was dark on this side. You struggled to make out anything until you looked up. Glowing pink eyes loomed down at you, stripping you away of any nerve that you could scrape off the pavement, an unsmiling face greeting you. It was Benimaru.

 ‘Benimaru what are you doing- it’s dark!’ A high-pitched voice shouted.

 “I know it’s you,” Benimaru sneered, voice rough and gravelly, “I know what you’re really here for.” You swallowed dryly, unable to look away and frozen in place. You were entirely at his mercy here. At least you were reading his interests correctly. You licked your lips.

 ‘Benimaru wait that’s not-’

 “I’m going to make you pay,” You felt the warmth radiating from his hands, intoxicatingly so. He must be a third gen user if he was this warm. He reached back and you grabbed the fronts of his jacket, taking a step forward and kissing him. You felt him stiffen to your touch and you immediately removed your mouth from his, eyes wide and the only thought crossing your mind being ‘oh shit’- had you misinterpreted his advances earlier? You opened your mouth to apologize, but instead got the wind knocked out of you as he lifted you off the ground and slammed you back into the wall harder than you’d have liked. His hand began to glow bright orange as it bubbled with flame, preparing to strike.

 “Benimaru! Hold it!” A deep voice shouted. Quicker than you could process- something, or someone, slid by you, fire on their heels, and knocked into Benimaru. You fell to the ground, stunned.

 “Benimaru! There was no mission, this was just a date night!” A younger voice shouted. The moonlight reflected off of the brightly striped fire equipment, only furthering your confusion. Why were fire soldiers here? And how did they know where you were?

 “Back off, I know he’s the infiltrator. I’ll end this right now,” Benimarus’ flame returned to his hand, this time larger than before and brighter. It illuminated enough for you to see a cast of other fire soldiers running up on the scene. What the hell?

 “It’s true, we just thought you could use the night off, and maybe meet someone outside of work!” A woman yelled. As if things could make any less sense, two young girls came bounding in at full speed, slapping at Benimarus’ legs.

 “Yeah dummy! What are you doing? You’re going to ruin all the work that Hina and I put in for this!”

 “Stupid! You’re never going to get a man if you keep blowing holes in them!”

 This was all just too much to take in. You stared vacantly at the pavement, trying to trace the steps of how you got here. Benimaru lowered his hand, flames withering.

 “It was all just… a fake mission?” He repeated, sounding lost. He looked at you, crumpled on the ground and thoroughly ruffled from the way he manhandled you. Guilt sucked out all of the rage he was feeling. Here he was attacking the newest citizen of Asakusa, just for being new. He rewound through the night. He had just interrogated at least 20 innocent people. The flame melted away completely. With the twins still yelling at him and giving him a much-deserved waist high beating, he made his way over to you. At this point Maki from squad 8 had been tending to you, checking you for injuries. When he approached you gazed up at him wildly, like some innocent animal caught in the crosshair of a hunter. Maki gave him a skeptical look.

 “You should be fine, just a little bruised if anything. Call this number if there’s anything else we can do for you,” she handed you a card and tentatively made her exit.

 “Sorry, I thought you were flirting but I guess you were just looking for um, someone undercover? An evangelist infiltrator? Anyway, I’m sorry for kissing you.”

 “You have nothing to apologize for,” he sighed, pushing a hand through his hair, and exposing the lesser seen eye further, “it was my fault. I jumped to conclusions. You were just new, and I assumed that you had bad intentions.” You nodded, unsure of what else could be added. After some uncomfortable silence, you heard another sigh. Benimaru dropped his hand, looking away from you, “because you’re new and because of the situation, I would like to offer you a personal tour of Asakusa. I know this town better than anyone and would like the chance to make it up to you.” You gave him a scrutinizing look, pleased when you watched him squirm under your gaze. Good, he should be on his toes. A satisfactory amount of time later, you gave him a timid smile,

 “Sure.”

 “Waka, we’re heading back to the station,” Konro shouted. Benimaru gave a slight wave and returned his gaze to you.

 “Do you need me to walk you back inside, or…” he trailed off.

 “I don’t think I’ll be going back,” you started. A displeased expression filled his face, “but, you can walk me home.”

--

Like what you read? Comments and reblogs fuel me to write more!

Also, my birthday is coming up on March 13th so if you’re willing, donate to my K*-fi so I can get a cake

[miraculous-ninjabird]

Posting this older work at the request of @rosiehunterwolf

No I don't have anything else context wise for you, sorry

No Working Title

Rating: T for swearing and tw

This is Angst.

TW for: panic attack, mentions of pain/injury, mentions of body modification

Word count: 1862

Summary: Lloyd wakes up after a dangerous showdown with his father that ended badly. Something isn't right, he knows it. He's just not sure what. It doesn't help he can't remember what happened

The first thing that Lloyd becomes aware of is the pleasant sound of singing. The melody is unfamiliar, but soothing. It reminds him of a memory he can’t quite fully grasp. Just a fuzzy feeling of warmth, and safety. It’s a feeling he feels the need to cling to with all his might. A large part of him wants nothing more than to stay just like this.

Another, smaller, part of him is telling him he should do...something. But he is tired. So incredibly tired. He would much rather stay as he is, comfortable and listening to the unfamiliar song.

If he had been in charge, he would have stayed as he was forever. Unfortunately, his mind was being incredibly uncooperative and it was becoming harder and harder to focus. There was still something… Lloyd tries desperately to remember what it is. His brain short circuits and in the end he gives up, allowing the music to lull him back to sleep.

When Lloyd comes to for the second time, he is more aware. Soft voices are arguing above him. A throbbing pain makes itself known to him, pressing behind his eye. He makes an attempt to blink, and instantly regrets the choice. Doing so causes the pain to morph from something moderately uncomfortable into a white hot searing sensation that, for a terrifying moment, completely overtakes him. It starts to fade quickly enough, but it leaves him uncomfortable and upset. In an effort to distract himself, he focuses on the conversation above him.

“Please. It’s been three days. You have to take care of yourself Kai,”

“It’s at least partially my fault this happened. I’m not leaving until I know he’s gonna be okay,”

“I’m not going to get into the fault argument since we’ve already been there. But we know he’s stable. I’ll be here the entire time. Nothing is going to happen. Just six hours. Sleep, eat, shower.”

“I can sleep and eat without having to leave,” Kai counters weakly. Even in his hazy state, Lloyd could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

“We both know you won’t do either of those things.” Nya pushes gently. “I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve left that chair for something other than the bathroom in the last week. That’s not good for him or you. You won’t be any help to Lloyd, now or when he wakes up, if you can't at the very least take care of yourself. The last thing we need is both of you out of commission.”

There was a pause, followed by Kai grumbling his agreement. Lloyd struggles with himself, making an effort to do anything to let Kai know that he was here. A movement. A sound. Anything to reassure Kai that he is here. He feels himself slipping back into unconsciousness. He tries to fight it, but as the soft singing from before resumes, he knows he’s lost. Barely a moment passes before he sinks into the darkness once again.

When he comes around for the third time, he is actually able to open his eyes. He is once again met with a stabbing pain, but this time it is more bearable. Blinking slowly, his vision begins to come into focus. Something about it was off but he couldn’t quite put a finger on it. All he knew is it was making it difficult to think and even harder to focus. The harsh lights do little to help.

The room he’s in is unfamiliar. Sparsely decorated with dull grey walls, there isn’t really much to look at. An empty chair is placed next to the bed with a blanket folded neatly across the back. There is a sink in one corner, and another door leading to what he assumes is a bathroom. He is alone.

As Lloyd struggles to push himself into a sitting position, the door slides open. Nya steps in, steaming mug gripped tightly in her hand. She looks up, starting in shock when she sees Lloyd. The mug slips from her grasp, shattering on the ground. She hardly seems to care as she rushes to his side.

“Lloyd!” She cries. “You’re awake? Since when? How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get for you?”

“Urghhhhhhh,” He groans, not quite able to quite form a coherent thought. Nya pauses her questions, seemingly realizing Lloyd wasn’t ready for that yet. Strong arms reach out, helping to settle him into a comfortable upright position. The lights are still too bright. He presses his hands into his eyes in an attempt to relieve the pain. It feels wrong, in a way. The skin under his one hand feels far too cool and strangely...metallic? That couldn’t be right. He must be imagining things.

“Is something wrong?” Nya taps his hand gently, bringing his focus back to her.

“Lights,” he murmurs.

“Oh! Let me fix that…” she gasps. There is some shuffling and the lights dim to a more acceptable level. He lowers his hands and squints. This he could deal with.

“Better?” She asks, and Lloyd nods. Nya gives him a smile. “How long have you been awake?”

“Since...a minute or two ago?” He blinks rapidly as one half his vision blurs strangely, almost like tv static. “Something is wrong with my eye. I can’t quite...I don’t know. It’s all blurry and weird.”

Nya’s smile drops instantly. She reaches out, grabbing both of his hands, fixing him with an intensely worried look.

“Lloyd, how much do you remember?” She presses gently. Lloyd racks his brain.. He remembers going to visit his dad, but the events afterwards are a terrifying blank.

“I...I don’t know,” he whispers. “I can’t remember anything from after I got there.”

Nya lets out a soft ‘oh’. The look on her face tells him there is something he should be remembering.

“Not to scare you or anything but…” She steps away, retrieving a hand mirror from the sink and handing it to him. Lloyd takes it, looks, and immediately drops it. He stares at the wall for a moment before hesitantly picking the mirror back up, studying the reflection.

“What the fuck. What is that? Nya. Tell me right now that I’m imagining things. Fuck. This can’t be real,” Instead of two completely normal matching human eyes, he has...whatever this is supposed to be. His left eye is now entirely black except the iris, which glows an eerie green color. Matching green lines etch the side of his face, extending up into his hairline and across his cheek. WHY DOES HIS EYE LOOK LIKE THAT? What the fuck happend to him?

As he stares, his vision once again starts to blur. Panic surges through him as he realizes what he is looking at. He has a robot eye. An honest to god robot eye that he has no memory of whatsoever. Someone had cut his eye out and replaced it with this monstrosity. Why can’t he REMEMBER?! Desperately he tries to recall something. Anything really. He comes back with nothing. Just one giant empty blank. There had to be something. You don’t just wake up one day with a robot eye and not remember it.

Out of nowhere, a thought strikes him. His eye. It looks just like Zane’s had. The lines carved across his face look just like the ones running up and down Skylor’s arm. The glowed the same shade as everything in his father’s stupid base. Did that mean…?

An uncomfortable constricting feeling takes root in his chest and he lets out a strangled gasp. No no nonononononono this couldn’t be happening. Stupid stupid stupid! He would never...but his dad. His thoughts begin to spiral as he desperately tries to stop himself from piecing things together. He no longer wants to know. Don’t think. Don’t remember. It’s too much. It’s all too much.

“Lloyd. Breath,” Nya’s voice cuts through his panicked haze. As she speaks, he becomes aware of the fact he has not, in fact, been breathing. He takes a gasping, shuddering breath. His lungs don’t like that and he devolves into a fit of coughing. The mirror is plucked from his grasp and firm hands squeeze his arms with just enough force to drag his mind back to the real world. Nya speaks again.

“Look at me.” He obeys, turning his gaze on her. She opens her arms, a silent gesture. Lloyd doesn’t hesitate, flinging himself at her with what limited strength he has left and pressing into her. With a start, he realizes that he is crying.

“You’re scared. I would be too. I wish I could tell you it was all a dream,” She murmurs softly. “This is undoubtedly strange and scary for you. There’s no avoiding it.”

Strange and scary? Life altering and utterly terrifying seemed more appropriate terms. Waking up missing part of his memories wasn’t a thing he really knew how to handle. Unexpectedly becoming part android was not something he was equipped to handle. Theorizing his father was responsible was NOT something he wanted to even think about handling. Not in the slightest. How was he supposed to move on from this?

Nya seemed to sense he was spiraling. Maybe the fact he has started to tremble uncontrollably had given it away

“Hey, hey. I wasn’t finished. You may be experiencing something horrible, but you aren’t alone. I’m here. Kai is here. The others are all here. Whatever happens. We are here to support you.” Nya pulls him tighter, pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

Lloyd doesn’t really know what to say. There isn’t really anything he can say. He finds himself clinging to her like she is a lifeline. His head is throbbing, and he finds himself feeling drained. Nya’s arms are warm and comfortable, but it’s not enough to drive off the fear. It clings to him, worming its way into every dark corner of his mind. He wants to scream, but the best he can get is a choked sob.

In response, Nya starts to hum. Lloyd recognizes the tune immediately. It was the same one from before. He latches onto the sound with everything he has. The effect was almost instantaneous. When focused on the soft notes, the panic fades to the background. It was still there, but more manageable than before. Slowly but surely, he starts to feel like he can breathe again. His whole body relaxes into Nya’s embrace. Maybe if they could just stay like this...

It’s only a few minutes before Nya hears the soft sound of snoring. Looking down, she sees that exhaustion has won out and Lloyd has once again slipped into unconsciousness. That was a relief. She’d screwed that up big time. Next time he woke, she would make sure to tread more carefully. And when Kai came in to relieve her, she would have to make sure to update him on the situation. He would undoubtedly be mad, but she wasn’t about to leave a panicking Lloyd to go wake him up. Looks like things were going to be far more complicated than they’d originally thought...

[cafcaf22]

Accidents Happen

Chapter 1.

Stardew Valley's newest farmer tends to keep to herself. That is, until she bumps into the Town Doctor. Accidents Happen, y'know.

For someone who works their ass off on a farm by herself each and every day, it doesn't seem like making friends would be the most difficult task on the planet. But it is.

You moved to Stardew Valley a little over a year ago, and you're still stuck in the same horrible cycle: Wake. Eat. Feed the animals. Water the plants. Fish. Eat. Sleep. The routine has yet to change. You spend the majority of your days in the same productive, yet monotonous routine. Motivation gets harder and harder to come by, especially as the summer season ends. This coming winter does not look like it's going to be your friend.

Some evenings, when you really considered the level of your loneliness, you've thought about heading over to the saloon to check in with your neighbors. You thought about it most during the hot days when you needed a refresher after a long day. However tempting a cold glass of beer may be after working up a sweat pulling hundreds of blueberries off the vines in the summer heat, you always ended up chickening out. A common thing for you. You wanted to try- you wanted to reach out, but what would you even say? Hi! I'm the girl who's been isolated on her farm for the last 4 seasons, it's nice to finally meet you! How weird would that be? You didn't want to cause a scene - you never really liked the attention that much, so it wasn't worth the attempt.

One day during the last week of the summer, you stopped by Pierre's to check out some fertilizer for the coming fall season. As you strolled the aisles, eyeing the shelves and brushing past the baskets of the daily offerings, you overheard a lot of chatter about hanging out in the saloon on weekends. The courage you'd need to show up there on its busiest day... Hell, sometimes even Sundays had great turnouts. I probably shouldn't, you thought. If I showed up, it would make everything awkward. They don't even know me that well, and how am I supp-

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by a body being slammed straight into your side.

"Ow!" You yelped as your wicker basket was thrown onto the ground. You immediately clutch your left side in pain and feel a sharp piercing in your lungs, as the cold floor of the shop shocks your cheek. You blink at the ground, massaging your side as you try to inhale. But that's when you realize you can't. You blink rapidly, trying to take a breath, but the air never fills your lungs. You clutch your chest, trying to feel the rise and fall, but your heartbeat is the only continuous movement. The thumps grow faster, harder. You start to feel dizzy, clutching your chest on the cold floor. I'm hyperventilating. I can't breathe. Am I having an asthma attack? Oh, Yoba. I'm having an asthma attack.

"Oh- Oh my... I am- I'm s-so sorry! Are you alright?" A voice bursts from over your left shoulder as you double over on the ground in pain, trying to find your breath. Fucker knocked the wind out of me, you thought to yourself. You could barely breathe. I need my inhaler- Is it at the farm?  The voice continued to apologize, unsure as to whether or not they should step in to aid you. You tried to take another breath, but your lungs fought hard. Fuck, I- I can't breathe, I can't-

"I- I must have knocked the wind out of you..." The voice says to himself, but you don't even register it. You squeeze your eyes shut, clutching your side and focusing on the movement of your chest. It feels like nothing and everything at once. You inhaled to feel the cool air enter your lungs, but it didn't happen. Your body felt like a deflated hot air balloon. The voice continued on behind you, mentioning something about sitting up straight and taking deep breaths. You just want it to stop, can't it shut up already? I can't breathe, I can't-

"Oh my- here! Look at me!" The voice boomed, closer now. He was above you, blocking the overhead lights of the general store. You uncurled from your ball, struggling to breathe. All that comes out are course whispers.

"Inhaler..." You managed to grunt. In less than a few seconds, a cold plastic is pressed against your lips.

"Here," the voice says gently. "I- It's mine, but it will do." The voice spoke again. Everything suddenly grew blurrier, and the voice's words became slurred. You barely made out the deep green coat that blocked all of your view, but it was soft and warm against your skin. "Breathe in," the voice said calmly. You blinked wildly, remembering that you needed to actually inhale. You take a deep breath, and taste the medication as it enters your mouth, and flows smoothly into your lungs. You finally gained some sense back. As you sat back against the aisle of the grocery store, you glanced up for the first time.

Your savior kneeled in front of you, an anxious look spread across his face. Large brown eyes took over yours, encompassing you into his with no effort at all. You stared deeply into them, locked in a trance that never seemed to end as you swam in the honey that swirled within them. His glasses sat on the edge of his nose, ignored in the face of your injury and in dire need of a cleaning. A thick mustache framed the lower portion of his face, complementing the way that his cheeks sat happily above them. He smiled the most endearing smile you had ever seen.

"I am... so truly sorry." He spoke, words of pure velvet. This voice, you thought. That's the voice.

After a few moments of slow, medicated breathing, you were finally able to speak.

"Thank you... I think?" You whispered, glancing down at his hand that held a firm grip on your shoulder. He glanced down, recognizing his steel grip on your arm, and quickly released.

"Can you breathe a-alright now?" He asked, leaning back slightly after realizing how close he had been.

"Yes," you replied confidently while fighting a cough at the base of your throat. "I haven't had an asthma attack in months... I usually keep my inhaler on me, but I guess I left it at the farm," you muttered to yourself, attempting to stand up.

"Hey, let's be careful here," he chuckled, lightly elevating your elbow and guiding you to stand. You glanced into his eyes again, hoping to have his meet yours. He seemed to avoid any effort. "I am so sorry for running into you like that... I would tell you the reason why, but it will sound a lot worse out loud." He chuckled again, running a hand through the back of his hair and fidgeting with the pocket of his pants. You raised your eyebrow, giving him a curious look.

"W-Well... I usually stand out in the garden across the pavement, and there seemed to be a..." He drew out the end of his sentence. You narrow your eyes at him, a playful smile spreading across your lips. "A... bee."

You couldn't help but let out an ugly chortle, the first of a real laugh in months. You had barely mustered up a small smile since you'd been in Stardew, not to mention the horrors of your old 9-5 desk job for Joja Cola. To be able to laugh freely in the company of someone else made you feel years and years younger; it was a feeling that reminded you of how often you got to interact with others - which was not much. The laugh quickly turned into a nasty cough, your lungs screaming at you to calm down.

"I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to laugh like that, it just kind of..." but you trailed off the end of your sentence in order to take in the beauty that was his laugh. He began to speak in fits of giggles, clutching his lower belly and covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle the beautiful sounds that escaped from his lips. His lips.

"No, I'm sorry!" He exclaimed in between giggles. You smiled awkwardly, unsure of how to continue on. You weren't the greatest at conversation, but it seemed like he wasn't either, so the two of you appeared to be comfortable in acknowledging the oddness of the whole situation. "I'm Harvey, by the way."

Your heart fluttered. Harvey. The man who saved me from asphyxiation. Well... The man who almost caused my asphyxiation.

He cleared his throat, and you realized you had been silent for a moment. You gave him your name and smiled, feeling your heart beat at the thought of finally having a friend. Maybe.

"How come I haven't seen you around at the clinic before?" He asked, eyes gazing into yours a little more intensely.

"Oh, I don't usually have any issues," you spoke quickly, trying to avoid the topic altogether. Doctors made you nervous. The ghostly white rooms. The empty hallways. The cold, metallic utensils pressed against bare skin. The intense questioning, and the way you're forced to admit things to a stranger about your own personal problems... Not a great way to spend your time.

Why would he mention the clinic? Does he- Oh... Fuck.

"So... you must be the Town Doctor?" You asked, kicking yourself on the inside for being so stupid. How could I be so stupid?

He blushed, and your heart soared. "You could say that, yes. However, I don't see many patients currently- which, I guess is something I should never complain about... I don't ever want to wish ill-will upon my patients. I don't think that's what came across, but I just wanted to... uh, make that clear," he sputtered awkwardly, attempting to save himself from embarrassment. His cheeks continued to flush a bright red. "Oh, and I understand that you don't necessarily have any... 'issues'... But feel free to come by my clinic tomorrow afternoon for an additional inhaler. Free of charge, of course. It's all that I can give you after certainly causing your episode today- which, I am still so terribly sorry for. I just really, really hate bees."

He spoke the words so quickly, you had to remind yourself to breathe as you comprehended everything he said. Mainly because you were busy staring into the void that was his eyes. Beautiful, golden brown. Heavenly.

"Of course, Doctor," you reassured him.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow!" He exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically. You smiled in return and bent down to pick up the basket that had fallen just moments prior. "Oh, let me grab that for you-" said Harvey, beating you to the wicker basket. Your heads knocked together, clunking against each other as you both attempted to stand up. You both groaned, rubbing your heads and awkwardly glancing at the floor as if eye contact would cause another ruckus.

"Maybe we should wear helmets," you spoke softly, attempting to alleviate the awkward.

"Maybe," he sighed. "I'll see you around, Farmer." He smiled softly, and swiftly walked out of the store.

Farmer. How did he know I was a farmer?

[backtobackbakubabe]

I am the Alpha Now Part 14

Bakugo X Reader

Words: 2194

Masterlist

Reader is from America and somewhat of a delinquent with an alpha quirk that allows her to turn into a wolf as well as bond with dogs. She is sent to UA to straighten out her attitude. She ends up in a power struggle with none other than our favorite hot head. Words in Italics are words said telepathically.

“Wait, wait, wait… Shigaraki? As in the leader of the League of Villains and YOUR BOSS! That Shigaraki?”

Dabi’s grip tightened on the wheel, “You know I’m starting to question how smart the kids at UA really are? YES! That Shigaraki.” His eyes shifted to his mirrors as if to check they weren’t being followed. “He’s been a pain in my ass lately… He’s always been twisted and ambitious. But now he’s… I don’t know he’s unhinged. He’s gotten sloppy and I’m tired of cleaning up after him.”

You could feel the panic bubbling in your stomach. You rolled your window down and took in a huge gulp of fresh air, trying to settle your nerves.

Dabi scoffed, “Hey where did the ‘I’ll go feral and kill you all’, crazy bitch go? You look like you’re ready to puke all over my car.”

You closed your eyes as you continued to breathe through your panic. “Why do you even need me? Don’t you have some badass cremation quirk? Just light the dude on fire and call it a day. I don’t see where I play into all of this.”

A tense silence fell over the car, but you could hear Dabi speeding up. “Look I wouldn’t expect you to understand right now, but I have a role to play just like everyone else. Believe me I would love nothing more than to watch as that dusty fuck turned into a pile of ash. Hell, I’d probably roast marshmallows over it. But for many reasons that are none of your fucking business… I can’t.”

You finally found the nerve to turn to look at him. “I still don’t see why you need me to do it. From what I understand, long distance attacks have the most success with him, and I specialize in close combat. How am I supposed to fight him if I can’t let him touch me?”

Dabi was whipping the car into a parking garage now, the shadows taking over his features. “You heal right? I saw it with my own eyes. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I tested it earlier in the alley after you passed out. I saw how quickly your head was healing so I tried to cremate one of your fingers.”

Your eyes almost bugged out of your sockets, which caused Dabi to roll his. “What? Don’t give me that look. I’m a villain… I beat you unconscious and kidnapped you and all that’s what makes you mad? You don’t even need all ten fingers!” He parked his car and grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand up to your face. “Look you’re fine. It regenerated almost as quickly as I could burn it.”

You ripped your wrist from his grasp. Rubbing the spot his fingers had just been. “Just because it worked with your quirk doesn’t mean it’ll work with his. I’m not invincible.” You shuddered as the memories of being tortured start to stir in your mind.

He could see the hesitation in your eyes. “I need to make something clear. While I don’t necessarily mean you any harm… I also don’t give a fuck about your well-being. So, this…” He gestured to your pained expression. “Needs to stop. Because I don’t care. You may not be invincible… but you are expendable. You bite the dust, we’ll just recruit someone else. Maybe even your boyfriend.”

You froze. What did he mean by we?

Dabi got out of the car and came around to your side and opened your door. You looked around the parking garage behind him, looking for an accomplice. “Are you going to get out on your own, or are you going to make me drag you?”

You couldn’t see, hear, or smell anyone besides Dabi. So, you slowly stepped out of the car, all the while flipping him off. “I’d love to see you try asshole. Lay a hand on me and I’ll pin you down and pull out every single one of those stupid staples one by one with my teeth.”

Dabi leaned forward so his eyes where level with yours, “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

Before you could even say anything another presence suddenly filled your senses. One moment it was just you a Dabi and the next someone was there behind him.

“Easy you two. As much as I would love to watch, we kind of need to get somewhere private.” You looked at the familiar man with the red wings. He gave you a sad smile, “There are a lot of people looking for you kid.” He gestured towards the elevator and you and Dabi followed. The man looked over his shoulder at Dabi, “Including your dad. Apparently he was ready to give her a job. He’s not too thrilled.”

Dabi growled, “More reason for me to keep her.”

You kicked at the back of his knee making him fall as you stepped around him into the elevator. “I am not, and never will be your fucking pet. I am an Alpha.” Your eyes glowed as your fury of being treated like a plaything grew.

The man standing next to you whistled, “Damn, I knew you were intense but that was probably the best thing I’ve seen all month. But I guess you’d have to be a little aggressive to deal with Bakugo every day.”

You tried not to react to hearing your boyfriends name, but your heart pounded. He knew Katsuki? You wondered if he knew if he was okay…

You gave him a harsh glare, “Who the fuck are you and how do you know Bakugo?”

It was Dabi’s turn to chuckle now at the man’s shocked expression. “Just a ray of sunshine isn’t she bird brain?”

The blonde man made room for Dabi in the elevator before pushing a button. His attention returned to you, “You seriously don’t recognize me? I’m a pro hero. Number two to be exact.” You stared back blankly and shrugged. His eyes widened, “Oh come on! I’m Hawks…”

You maintained a bored expression, “Nice to meet you… what are you doing here with an LOV member number two pro hero Hawks…”

You watched him squirm a little, but he soon wore a dazzling smile, “We go way back. Best friends some people might say. Not him, but someone I’m sure.”

The doors to the elevator closed and you could feel your anxiety starting up again. You were trapped between two strange men, who could probably kill you if they really wanted to. Hawks could see your tension and made an effort to trade places with you, putting you closer to the door and away from Dabi.

As soon as the door opened you stepped out. Welcoming the cool air conditioning tethering you to reality and keeping your anxiety at bay. You’ve been kidnapped before. You were doing everything you could to keep those memories buried.

Hawks lead you to a room that needed a key card and a six digit code to get in. Once the door closed behind you, you stiffened. You could feel your nails grow out to claws and your teeth sharpen to a point. They may not be trying to hurt you right now. But that could change at any moment.

Dabi took one look at you clawed hand and sighed, “I need a drink if we’re going to be behaving like this. Be right back.” He gave you a curious glance, “You want anything?”

You shook your head, not trusting your voice not to give away your subtle anxiety.

As soon as Dabi was out of earshot you pulled Hawks to you, “You never told me how you know Katsuki…. Do you know if he’s okay? He hasn’t done anything stupid has he?”

Hawks groaned, “We had to send out a search party for him. Lucky for us it’s kind of hard to stay stealthy in the middle of downtown with a giant fucking wolf dog.”

Your eyes burned into his, “So he’s okay then? Someone keeping an eye on him?”

Hawks patted your tense shoulder, “Physically, yeah… he’s fine. But you leaving like you did really did a number on him. He wouldn’t come back to UA without kicking and screaming the whole way. Kept saying shit like, ‘I can’t feel her’ , ‘somethings wrong’ he wouldn’t even listen to his red headed friend. What his name, the hard guy?”

“Kirishima?”

“Yeah! Him. It wasn’t pretty. He’s a wreck.”

Your heart ached. Not only as his girlfriend, but as an Alpha. Your instincts are screaming at you right now. Your only job is to protect your pack. He’s hurting. Mercy is hurting. And you are the reason why.

You walked away before Hawks could see the tear spilling over your cheek. You stepped to the window trying to get a better idea of your surroundings. Even though you had absolutely no idea where you were. You took a deep breath and slowly opened up the bond.

*******Bakugo’s POV***********

“No you don’t understand she’s not just gone, she’s fucking GONE! I can’t feel her anymore.” Bakugo paced back and forth in his room. Mercy sat on his bed, his eyes following him but saying nothing besides the occasional whimper. “We’re literally bonded now. I’m supposed to be able to feel her Kiri. I’m supposed to be able to instinctively now that she’s okay. And now it’s gone. There’s just a fucking void. She’s gone… I can’t find her. Neither can Mercy.” He ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time. Keeping his frantic hands busy. “He said she could have turned it off…. Or she… she could be… she could be fucking dead! None of you seem to care!”

Kiri put his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, “Hey man, we’re going to find her okay. We just need you to calm down first.”

“CALM DOWN?! How the hell am I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?! Did you not just hear what I said?”

Bakugo slumped to the floor and leaned against the end of his bed, letting Mercy put his head next to his. “We have to believe she’s okay. If not it’s going to drive us crazy. Look on the plus side. We are bonded to each other through her. If she were dead, wouldn’t our bond have died as well. As long as you can hear me I have to assume she’s alive.”

Bakugo reached up and started petting Mercy, “I hope you’re right about that. What happened last time… when she you know…?”

Mercy gave Bakugo’s cheek a quick lick, “The last time she died… I could feel the stress her body was under and then it was gone. Right now it feels almost like a closed door. The bond is still there, we just can’t use it. Then it felt like a brick wall. It wasn’t just her presence that was gone, the whole bond disappeared too. It was terrifying.”

There was a ringing in Bakugo’s ears. Had it been there long? Was his hearing deteriorating without you there to take care of him. Was there something wrong with the bond? Was there something wrong with you? The ringing grew louder and louder until it consumed him. He clutched his hands in his hair and yelled for it to stop. Tears pricked at his eyes as his breathing got shorter. He was on the verge of one of the scariest panic attacks he had ever had and then all the sudden his chest burst open with warmth.

He was bombarded with soothing thoughts and a happy relaxed buzz. He tried to grip it for dear life. This was you. He knew it was. He reached out the way you taught him, and he tried to find you. He got a quick glimpse of a cityscape through what looked like a window. But before he could figure out where you were it was turned off again.

He felt like he had been sucker punched. Kiri was looking at him like he had lost his mind. “Hey… are you okay. I know you can like talk to Mercy and stuff. But it still freaks me out. Then one moment your raging, then the next your crying, and then out of nowhere you look completely blissed out…” Kirishima sat next to Bakugo looking concerned. “I’m worried about you. You seem a little… unstable.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever we can talk about it later in therapy.” Bakugo pushed Kiri to the side and looked at Mercy, “You felt that right? That’s a good sign, right?”

Mercy barked and jumped towards the door, “She’s alive alright, and she wanted us to know it. From what I could tell she was unharmed. A little stressed out, but otherwise healthy. I couldn’t figure out where she was though. How about you?”

Bakugo was grabbing his hero gear and rushing towards the door. “Not a one hundred percent sure. But I have a decent idea of the general area.” He looked at a shocked Kiri who was still on the floor. “You gonna come help me save my girl or what?”

*****************************************

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@tspice283 , @realityisoftendisapointing , @imbi-101 , @thoughtfulpandazine2 , @hotarumorikawa , @huh-iwasntpayingattention , @starfishlovingbnha , @weebnumber3622 , @mixedfeeelings , @munchmunch01 , @inumorph @xxoperatexx @runrabbitrun3

[yoosungisbabie]

bodyguard - day two

jumin x mc

rating: T

prompt: failures / {fights}

warnings: attempted kidnapping and general angst

word count: 2,176

ao3 link

[ ko-fi | paypal ]

Jumin is usually rational, but that night was different.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

She took a deep breath through her nose, feeling a smile naturally spread on her face as she looked up at the sky. The sunset was painting a beautiful picture overhead, and the sight made her wonder why she hadn’t gone out more often.

But the answer came as soon as she asked herself the question, and it made her lower her eyes back down to the sidewalk. Jumin’s building was only half a block away, but going home so early seemed like a waste at that point. The weather was so nice, and being able to just go out and enjoy herself was a luxury she’d forgotten to indulge in.

Just as the doors to Jumin’s building came into view, she saw someone walking towards her from the corner of her eye. She glanced in their direction, seeing a man about her age smiling politely. He didn’t seem familiar, and it took her two glances at him to realize he was approaching her.  

“Mrs. Han, right?” the man asked, taking his hand from his jeans pocket to reach out to shake hers. She smiled warily, unable to feel the full giddiness that should’ve come with the name he’d used.

“No, not yet,” she chuckled, shaking his hand and noticing how firm his grip was. She didn’t recognize him, and she glanced back to the doors of the building, hoping she would be able to see the doorman but finding her view of him blocked.

“My apologies,” the man smiled, giving her a once over as she turned back to him. She held her purse tightly to her side, smiling and beginning to walk towards the building once more.

“It’s alright. Have a good night!” she said politely, choosing not to ignore the way chilling goosebumps ran along her skin at the look in his eyes.

“Wait,” the man called, catching her hand and making her head whip back to look at him. She quickly pulled away from his grasp, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows.

“Are you busy?” he asked, and she narrowed her eyes at him, feeling her stomach filling with fear.

“I’m expected upstairs,” she replied curtly, nodding once and moving away but keeping her eyes on him. He frowned, stepping forward to grab her forearm tightly.

“Don’t think you’ll be making it,” he spoke, making her heart painfully skip a beat. Her eyes shot to his, and the intimidating look on his face made her want to scream. But she steadied herself, widening her stance and beginning to pull against him. She was about to raise her hand to strike when another hand attached to the man’s wrist, gripping it forcefully and making him pull away almost immediately.

She turned to see who’d stepped in, feeling her heart soar when Jumin was standing beside her. His dark grey eyes were severe, and his gaze was locked on the man as he cradled his wrist.

“I suggest you leave,” Jumin spoke firmly, stepping forward to block her from view when the man glared at her. “For your sake.” She peered around her fiancé’s arm as the man began to walk away, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.

The man uttered something under his breath, and though she could barely make it out, it was clearly aimed to provoke Jumin. She almost ignored it, assuming that he would as well, but he took a large step in the man’s direction. Her eyes widened, and she reached forward, wrapping both of her hands around one of his.

“Jumin,” she called softly, watching as he glanced back with a startling fire in his eyes. “Let’s go inside,” she pleaded. He turned and stared as the man walked away and laughed to himself.

It took a few moments, but Jumin’s hand finally relaxed beneath hers, his shoulders dropping slightly as he turned back to her. The anger in his expression had dissolved into something else, something aimed at her.

But she quietly led him inside, keeping her hand locked with his as they rode the elevator up to his penthouse. She could feel the weight of his unspoken words for her hanging in the air, and she could easily guess what he would have to say.

She’d gone out that afternoon without any bodyguards, and although she hadn’t told Jumin beforehand, she’d planned to tell him that night. Having him catch her in the act was the last thing she’d wanted to happen, so the lecture she’d already been expecting evolved as she anticipated it.

He pulled his hand from hers when the elevator doors opened, walking just in front of her as they passed the security guards and entered the penthouse. She followed quietly, closing the door behind herself and watching as he quickly took his suit jacket off, throwing it onto the chair in the corner and rolling his sleeves up his forearms forcefully. She quickly regretted not saying something sooner, but she took a deep breath, hoping that they could be rational and talk it out calmly.

But she considered what she’d already seen from him as she removed her coat and shoes and knew that things wouldn’t work out quite like she hoped.

“Darling,” he called, his voice tight as he drew her attention back to him. He’d crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze focused directly on her.

“I’m so…” he started, sighing sharply and pinching the bridge of his nose. “So disappointed in you,” he finished, pressing his lips into a tight line as she felt herself frowning.

“Why?” she wondered, hoping he would explain it slowly and give himself time to calm down.

“It’s a simple task to ask along two bodyguards, even one, but you didn’t,” he said, uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on his hips as he held her eyes expectantly.

“I’m sorry, Jumin,” she breathed out, tilting her head and moving a few steps closer. “Having someone always watching me is so much different than what I’m used to,” she admitted, seeing his eyes narrow in confusion.

“I just wanted some time to myself,” she shrugged. He scoffed quietly, surprising her as he raised a clenched fist and pressed it against his mouth. They’d had a few disagreements before, but he’d always been able to keep his calm. She’d never seen him so out of control.

“There are ways for you to achieve that without compromising your personal safety,” he debated. His eyes were searing into her as if he’d be able to change what happened with just a look. “Do you understand what would have happened if I hadn’t been there?” She took another step towards him, speaking up quickly.

“And I’m so glad you were. But I know how to defend myself,” she told him calmly, seeing on his face that he was anything but convinced.

“Do you? I don’t remember any mention of previous self-defense classes,” he replied sourly, making her heart twinge.

“No, but--” she breathed out, hearing him laugh once and lean towards her.

“You were completely defenseless and vulnerable,” he retorted, interrupting her and making her mouth fall open slightly.

“Jumin, please calm down,” she said gently, wishing her heart would stop pounding against her ribs so that she could continue to think clearly.

“I am calm,” he said quickly, the volume of his voice contradicting his statement. “I see no reason why you even need to leave this building in the first place.” She felt her eyebrows pressing deep into her forehead, her hands shaking a little as she stared in disbelief.

“Jumin,” she called again, wishing that her voice would have been enough to assuage him. But his eyes only widened, a silent challenge for her to try and refute his statement. She straightened her shoulders, not shying away from his cutting stare.

“You can’t keep me locked in here,” she reminded him. They both knew he’d struggled and was still struggling with possessive thoughts and behavior, but hearing him voice those thoughts with such finality worried her.

Jumin raised his eyebrows at her, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned down to be at her eye level.

“Can’t I?”

Tears gathered in her eyes as she waited for him to say he’d been joking, but he didn’t.

She let out a shaky breath, finally breaking away from his sharp stare as a few tears fell.

“I’m going up to the roof,” she whispered, moving to grasp the door handle and sighing out when she heard him take a breath to speak behind her. “With a bodyguard.”

She closed the door behind herself quietly as he watched her leave, his heart beginning to ache terribly when he realized what he’d done.

Jumin’s eyes were locked on the door as he replayed what he’d said to her over and over again. The more his words were repeated in mind, the more he couldn’t imagine himself being the one who’d said them. His head was spinning, and his thoughts felt like an uncontrollable wildfire. He’d never felt so intensely emotional.

As he stared down at his hands, watching them tremble slightly, he focused on slowing his breathing. He took a deep breath in, wondering where his rationality had gone and how it’d disappeared so easily.

He glanced back to where he’d last seen her, imagining her in the garden on the roof with tears in her eyes. The very thought made him walk to the door, pulling it open and rushing to the elevator.

The cool, evening air felt nice on his skin; he hadn’t realized the heat that had flooded into his face, both from anger and then from embarrassment. He dismissed the bodyguard that was waiting by the elevator, seeing her sitting on a bench at the other end of the rooftop with her back to him.

He was sure she could hear him coming, and he felt the frown on his face deepen as he grew closer. He watched as she reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek, making the ache in his heart deepen to know he’d been the one to cause her to cry alone.

“My love,” he said softly, reaching forward as he sat down beside her to brush her shoulder.

“Please don’t touch me right now,” she spoke suddenly, making his hand flinch away from her. Her request hurt him a lot more than he would have expected, and he fought against the lump that was forming in his throat as he ran his hands along his thighs.

“Please forgive me,” he whispered, watching her hair blowing in the gentle breeze and wishing he could see her beautiful face. “I knew this would be hard and that I would need time to learn, but hurting you was not something I ever expected or wanted,” he told her, seeing her head tilt down towards her lap.

There was a heavy moment of silence before she sighed and turned to look at him, her eyes red and teary. He wanted to reach out and dry her tears, but he respected her request and kept his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

“I know you just want to protect me,” she said, reaching up to wipe a fallen tear from her cheek.

“Yes,” he said immediately, making the corner of her mouth lift in a partial smile. She searched his eyes as her eyebrows drew together.

“But you have to remember that I’m my own person as well,” she told him, and he nodded in understanding, repeating her words in his head so he wouldn’t forget.

“I don’t want to trap you. Please forgive me,” he pleaded, seeing her begin to nod in response.

“I know,” she breathed out, giving him a small smile. “I know you’re trying, and I appreciate that.”

“My emotions got the better of me,” he sighed, seeing her tilt her head. “I...didn’t know that could happen,” he said, making her let out a small giggle that lifted a weight off his shoulders.

She reached forward, taking his right hand and holding it in between the two of hers.

“I’m sorry. Truly…” he said, watching as she rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. Their hands were cold, but he felt them begin to warm as they pressed together.

“So am I,” she said, looking up at him and drawing his gaze. “We can both do better, and we will,” she smiled, lifting his hand to her lips and pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to the back of it. The simple gesture made his heart palpitate warmly, a smile naturally spreading across his lips.

“Okay?” she said, searching his face as he felt complete devotion and adoration for her spread through his whole body. He knew in that moment that he wanted to cherish her properly and completely to ensure that he never made her feel trapped again.

She could see the resolution in his eyes, squeezing his hand between hers and knowing that everything would be okay.  

~~~~~

thank you all for reading! this one was a rollercoaster for me eeee. i hope you enjoyed! i would love it if you let me know what you thought! <3

[taking-over-his-life]

Colt

 Written by my internet friend Colt many years ago.

     I woke up to the intense pain like that of a migraine headache.  I could feel every hair on my body it seemed, with an undertow of muscle aches all over my body.  My mind was spinning round and round, trying to figure out where I was.  The room was dark, I could sense that the room was strangely familiar, but I couldn’t make the connection.  Oh, the pain, how I wished it would go away.   As I grappled to sit upright, the pain instantly started to tighten its grip on my head.  My eyes started adjusting to the darkness of the room.  Fear and panic started to run through my mind, this just wasn’t where I remember going to sleep.

       The last thing that I remember was that I had gone to a friend’s party.  I had started feeling strange at the party so I had left and went home.  I vaguely recall entering my house and going to my bedroom and falling face first onto my bed.  And that was all I wrote. 

       But, now here I am in this room that I have no idea how I came to be in.  My eyes started adjusting to the darkness of the room.  I could make out that there were two small kids sleeping on cots, and another person that I could hear breathing but couldn't place where they were.  I realized that I was now sitting up on a sleeping bag that was on the floor.  My brain struggled to figure out where the hell I was.  Completely paralyzed by the fear I felt continued its grip on me.   And the ungodly pain in my head.  I couldn't even wish that much pain on even my worst enemy.  Yet, for some reason, the surroundings were so familiar, but I couldn't make the connection with my excruciating level of pain.  I must be having one of my migraines and hallucinating at the same time.  That was the only explanation that I could think of at this point.

       When I quit trying so hard to remember my surroundings, the answer hit me with a vengeance.  The room I was in was my Aunt and Uncle’s basement.  Their basement had a one very large room with a pool table, tables, couches, and a bar.  Ok, I must be dreaming, this just can’t be real.  It didn’t make any sense to me.  As I sat up on the sleeping bag, I realized that I was wearing full biker leathers.  Judging by what I could feel against my skin, I had on a pair of leather pants tucked into tall boots, a leather shirt, a leather jacket and tight fitting gloves on.  The leather felt very warm, moist, and sweat soaked against my skin.  The leather felt like it fit me like a glove all over my body which felt soothing on my ragged nerves. My eyes had now adjusted to the darkness and I could see well enough to get around the basement.    

       I NEED air!  I couldn’t make any sense of how I come to be in these surroundings.   I was still petrified of what has happened to me, and maybe some fresh air will help.  I carefully stepped around the obstacles in the basement, acting like a cat trying not to make a sound as I made my way upstairs.   The boots and leathers I was wearing started to make plenty of noise, so I did my best to adjust my movements to quiet down the leather creaking.  It seemed as though my hearing abilities were magnified greatly over normal, it must have been the fact that it was dark in the room and of course the fear I was experiencing.  It seemed to take forever climbing up the non-carpeted steps without making any discernable level of noise.  After climbing up the steps, I found myself in the kitchen.  I needed something to drink to my quench my dry mouth.  I carefully opened up the fridge and grabbed a Mountain Dew (I almost did not recognize the Mountain Dew can) and left the kitchen.  Finding the back door to the house, I gently opened the door so as to not wake anyone up.  I stepped outside onto the cool patio cement floor, it was obviously summer time.  I set my Mountain Dew down on the patio table.  The night was deafening to me, it just seemed too quiet for some reason.  As I sat down on a bench on the patio in the bright moonlight, I could see something that almost gave me a heart attack.  In the driveway were my cousin’s Torino, '40 Ford and my Uncle’s Dodge truck that they had back in the early 70s.  Also in the driveway were two Harley Davidson motorcycles.  The Harleys could explain why I'm clad in full biker leathers. This can’t be real!  I went and looked at the license plate of truck, and it had 1973 stamped into it.  Looking out towards the front of the house, I could see my Dad’s GMC pickup truck with its camper shell on it that we had back then too.  In front of Dad's truck, was a Chevy Malibu.  It looked as though we were on one our annual summer vacations back to Denver Colorado.  I could feel something in one of the pockets of my jacket; it was a pack of Marlboro reds in a box that were just a bit smashed.  I managed to pull out a few cigs without breaking them.  The cigs were not totally damaged, just a bit bent from being squished a bit in my jacket from laying on them.  My hands were very shaky trying to strike a match to light up that magic first Marlboro.  My leather covered hands finally made the match come to life and lit that first Marlboro.  I took a very slow and deep drag, feeling my tenseness starting to subside 

somewhat.  Exhaling slowly making smoke rings in the night air with the bright moonlight casting its light on the rings.  The smoke rings against the bright moonlit night fascinated me for a few minutes distracting me from my situation.  I was completely puzzled, trying to figure out a rational explanation for my predicament.  I could only remember that when I went to sleep last night, the year was 2003, 30 years from where I was now.  And all of a sudden I realized I’m NOT the same person.  In the summer of 1973, I was only 9 years old, how could I be this adult sized person?  As I finished that first cig, I started to panic again with a new found fear, I lit another cig.  Then I popped the top of the Mountain Dew can on the table.  I took a big gulp of the magic Mountain Dew, cooling my throat all of the way down to my stomach.

       Realizing that there was something in one of the jacket pockets, I reached into the pocket pulled out a wallet.  I slowly opened the wallet, afraid of what I would find; I hadn’t even looked at myself in a mirror yet.  Using the bright moonlight, I looked at a driver’s license for someone that never existed, yet here it is.  The license was a Florida driver’s license.  Well, my family used to live there in 1973.  I carefully inspected the license, looking at the picture, the printed information, realizing that I must truly be this “new” person.  The name printed on the license was Kirk Derek Colten McCormack; the birthday was October 15, 1956; and the address was where we had lived in Florida at that time.  OOOOOh my God!!!!!  I must be somebody else, but in my own family?  The Twilight Zone was REALLY  happening to me I thought.  My hands still shaking, I lit another cig.   Right now, I couldn’t get enough nicotine to alleviate my fears and anxieties.  At that point, I couldn’t discern one reality from the next.  I was in a REAL Twilight Zone.  Where was Rod Serling?  He had to be around here somewhere telling the television audience of my predicament it seemed.   Did I really look like the guy in the license picture?  My curiosity compelled me to run over to my Uncle’s truck to look in the mirror to see what I looked like.  The reflection startled me so much that I jumped back a bit after the initial view of myself in the mirror.  It was ME, the guy in the license picture and in the mirror.  Yikes!  I could swear I must be having a nervous crack-up or something. 

       I know I must be dreaming this whole thing.  I thought I should just go inside and go to sleep and I will reawake in the year 2003 where I belong as Jeremy McCormack.  Quietly opening the back door to the house, I slipped inside.  I decided to lay down on the couch in the family room.  To my relief I fell asleep rather quickly. 

 Chapter Two

       I awoke suddenly to someone shaking my shoulder.  I opened my eyes slowly, hoping that I had just been experiencing a vivid nightmare and that all was back to normal.  My Aunt Ruth and I made eye contact and it startled me.  Oh, my God!  It looked as though I was going to continue to suffer this mind bending nightmare.  Aunt Ruth was talking to me, but I really couldn’t make sense of what she was saying.  She repeated what she had just said to me.  Aunt Ruth kept saying that I didn’t look very well, and that I appeared to have a very high fever.  Her hands were like ice on my face.  Aunt Ruth said it must be all of the leather I was wearing.  I think I was delirious to say the least.  All of a sudden, my “brother” Jeremy and sisters Rebecca and Jeanette popped their faces in front of me asking me if I was alright.   I jumped back a bit again, seeing my “own” self in front of me. At that moment I was truly freaked out and jumpy to say the least.  It seemed like everyone in the house (my parents, cousins, brother and sisters and my Aunt and Uncle) were surrounding me like I was the star attraction, looking at me making their own diagnosis of the situation.  I could sense that they must have thought I was high on something, because of the way I was acting (not realizing at the moment that Colt experimented with drugs occasionally).  Finally I sat up, still feeling dizzy.  I finally convinced everyone that I had a migraine last night and just needed to take a shower and clean up and that that would help me feel better.  I somehow managed to stand up even though I was a little disoriented and negotiated the steep staircase to the basement.  I now realized that I was feeling the same way I did when I went asleep in 2003.  Someone must have slipped me some kind of drug back in 2003, and I was just having a brilliant nightmare.  My thoughts were that I must go with the flow of this “dream” so I could survive it and then it would be over and I could return to who I was originally. 

       I went downstairs into the basement.  I found where "my" stuff was which was in a duffle type bag next to a sleeping bag on the floor near my Uncle's pool table.  I opened up the bag to go through the duffle bag looking for some clothes to change into after I took a shower.  Somehow I had to get some time alone, to try and get my wits together.  While I continued to be in deep thought, Dad walked over to me asked whether or not that I felt good enough to still go on our planned motorcycle ride.   I quickly answered that I thought it sounded groovy. Going for a motorcycle ride would most definitely give me the time to sort things out without too many interruptions.  I could then deal with my situations without my family thinking that I was an absolute stoner and high on something.

        I went back to rummaging through the duffle bag so I could get a better idea of who I was now, that is when I discovered quite a surprise.  I had mostly motorcycle leathers, 3 or 4 pairs of leather pants, several pairs of tall boots, several pair of leather western shirts, a leather vest and several motorcycle jackets completed the leather gear.  The scent of the leather gave me a momentary "high" that I could never get enough of to tell the truth.  I was rather stunned for a minute.  The leather gear was very soft and actually rather stylish for the time.  Several pairs of the leather pants, some were the 70s style bell bottom styles.  A couple pairs of pants were vintage (to me any how) motorcycle styled with zippered pockets instead of the regular kind of pockets.  What surprised me was the fact, that there were motorcycle leathers in the suitcase.  My last “lifetime,” we didn’t own any street motorcycles, just an old dirt bike. The rest was the usual 70s styled clothes and stuff of the like.  There was also a small box that was full of Indian turquoise silver jewelry.   

       I settled on a set of leathers similar to what I was already wearing.  A sleeveless black leather western shirt, a pair of breeches, and a pair of highly polished knee high engineer boots (which I had on at the moment).  I went to the bathroom, closed the door, and began to take off my sweat soaked leathers.  I started with taking off my gloves. On my fingers were several Indian silver rings and a wide silver bracelet laden with different colors of turquoise.  When I slipped off my jacket, I noticed a wide black leather watchband.  I sat down on the toilet and pulled off my glossy boots.  When I took off my leather shirt, I felt that I had a few silver necklaces around my neck.  I pulled off a leather strap that held my long hair into a pony tail.  I felt a thick mustache on my face that was shaped like an upside down horseshoe.  I finished getting undressed and turned on the hot water to the shower and slowly entered the stream of hot water.  The hot steamy water of the shower beating down on my face felt so refreshing.  

I soaped myself up thoroughly not paying attention to my "new" body.  I did notice that when I was washing my hair that I had several earrings pierced in my left ear.  I must be really into jewelry.  My life in 2003 I could have cared less when it came to any kind of jewelry.  The hot water soothed and relaxed my entire body.  After I was rinsed clean I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off.  That was when I noticed that there was a full length mirror on the back side of the bathroom door.  I took a towel and cleaned the steam off of the mirror.  I looked in the mirror, and I noticed my “new” body was quite attractive.  The reflection of my “new” face in the mirror was a young teenager and those pearly whites were flawless looking.  I stood probably about 6' tall and my body was very muscular as though I spent years lifting weights.  My straight, thick, long, dark brown hair fell between my shoulder blades.  My long brown hair was so soft and silky.   My face had chiseled features with a pearly white smile that was just flawless.  My thick soft manicured mustache made me look like a rock star with my long hair.  I could now see the ear piercings in my left ear.  My darkly tanned skin was smooth, tight, with a soft and fine covering of dark brown hair all over.  My eyes were an unusual purple color that could mesmerize anyone.  My strong hands started feeling all over my body sensing the newness of it all.  My hands of course found their way to my crotch.  My hands found my cock with huge balls and started working it over a bit.  In just seconds, it stood tall and proud at least 12 inches long and nicely thick.  Within another minute, I shot a huge load all over the full length mirror on the back side of the bathroom door.  The orgasm seemed to last for minutes, and a release that I so desperately needed.  At that moment, I froze for a moment as I shockingly discovered that I was staring at TWO cocks both hard as a rock.  When I had shot my load, it came from BOTH cocks.  Ok, so now I am some sort of freak was the next thought on my mind.  But then I realized that two cocks were better than one, with double the pleasurable sensations.  I guess it won't be that bad being a freak.  

 Chapter Three

        My mind realized that I had better finish getting dressed.  I slipped on the cool black sleeveless western leather shirt.  The shirt fit like it was tailored for a perfect fit.  I only snapped the front of the shirt about halfway exposing the valley of my chest between my well defined pecs and the brilliant silver necklaces.  I placed the wide watchband on next.  I kept all of the jewelry on while I took my shower as didn't want to deal with that detail.  Then I slipped into the black leather breeches (these breeches were non-flared) making sure that I adjusted for my cocks, one down each leg.  The fly was made with exposed metal snaps from the crotch all the way up to the waistband.  Rather sexy looking I thought.  My thighs filled out the legs of the breeches so smoothly.   I tucked in my smooth black leather sleeveless western styled shirt.  Then I snapped up the fly of the breeches and buckled up the wide basket weave belt.  The pant legs, now that was a different story.  Each leg had a zipper that extended from crotch to the bottom of each pant leg.  I put on a pair of socks and then I zipped myself tightly into each leg of the breeches.  The leathers that I had just shoehorned myself into were the tightest leathers that I had ever remembered wearing in my other life.  At the bottom of each leg was an elastic stirrup that looked like it was designed to keep my breeches from bunching up when I sat or stood up.  The breeches fit perfectly like the shirt.  The breeches fit so smoothly that there was no way I could put much of anything into the pockets.  Next, I pulled on my highly polished tall engineer boots which the boot shafts came to just under my knees that were made by Dehner Boot Company.  The closest way I could describe how I looked for the most part was that of Maxwell Caulfield in the movie "Grease 2" when he was in his slick full leathers at the end of the movie.  I stared at myself in the full length mirror on the door admiring myself for a few minutes and absolutely delighted with what I saw.  I was a little narcissistic for a few minutes at my killer looks.  I finished getting ready by brushing my hair and teeth.  I tied up my long hair into a pony tail with a strip of black leather with a snap on it.  I was as ready as I could be to face more of my continuing dream.

       Mom (who wouldn’t be my Mother this time around obviously - because Mom and Dad hadn’t gotten married until 1961), knocked on the door to see if I was done, so Dad could clean up.  I told her a few more minutes and I would be done.  I quickly cleaned up my mess and finished getting myself together. 

       I went back to my sleeping bag and grabbed my 50s D-pocket styled motorcycle jacket which I noticed was lined in a light weight red perforated leather and a pair of black tight fitting gloves.  The gloves I placed into my breeches back zippered pocket about half way in.  I gently placed my mirrored aviator sunglasses on the front of my leather shirt where it was snapped up halfway.  Where I placed the glasses drew attention to my exposed chest.  These few details such as the gloves in my breeches pocket, and hanging the sunglasses onto my shirt just seemed to flow out of me naturally.  I could feel my raw sexual energy emanating from my body which I had no control over.  There seemed to be an overwhelming power over me on how I carried myself (as Colt).  My movements seemed to be guided by that power that I couldn't put my finger on.  I guess it must have been Colt's sub consciousness that was controlling me.  It seemed as thought my mind was an overlay on top of Colt's mind. 

       I double checked to make sure my wallet was still in my jacket and grabbed another pack of Marlboros and matches which I put into a pocket of the leather shirt.  I went upstairs to the kitchen where Aunt Ruth offered me breakfast, but I decided on a couple of cans of Mountain Dew instead.  My nerves were too shot to eat anything right now.  My sisters, brother (me before this dream started), and Mother were in the kitchen eating breakfast with my Aunt.  Dad was downstairs in the basement getting ready to go on our ride.

       I went outside onto the patio with my smokes and the cans of Mountain Dew.  Sitting there on the patio smoking and taking big gulps of Mountain Dew my mind was doing quick flashes of my "life" as Colt.  The temperature was warming up quickly.  It must have been around 80 F now, sunny with brilliant blue clear skies.  The time was probably around 10:00 am.  The warmth of the day made my leathers start to glue themselves to my skin.  The sensations of the leather against my body began to turn me on.  I was becoming highly aroused at this point. 

       I decided to find a distraction to suppress my hormones for a while.  I turned to my mounting curiosity to check out things around the house to see if I could remember more.  So I decided to walk around and check things out.  I walked around the house to the front yard and was checking out what I thought was a Malibu that I saw last night (I was a car enthusiast back in 2003 so this car was intriguing).  When I got closer to the car, I noticed that there were not any Malibu or Chevrolet nameplates on the car.  There were a lot of differences from that of a Malibu.  At first I thought it was a customized car but there were nameplates that read Beaumont SD and 396.  The nameplates had a maple leaf on them.  The car must be Canadian.  I thought what a strange name for a car and perplexed as to why it was in the States.  As I did a quick look over of the car, it became apparent that I was beginning to "remember" more and more of Colt (and less of my former self) and that the Beaumont was mine.  The Beaumont was red inside and out and appeared to have every gadget you could possibly order on a car back then when it was new.  The car just plain sparkled. I must have been a stickler for keeping it looking impressive all of the time. 

           As I returned to the patio to sit down, everybody except Dad and I were leaving to go visit our Grandparents.  I lit another Marlboro and opened the other can of Mountain Dew. I sat transfixed upon the gleaming Harleys sitting in the driveway.  One of the Harleys was a red and black Electra Glide with a bunch of accessories and goodies on it.  The other Electra Glide was silver and was a bit more spartan.  My mind was flashing more bits of Colt's memory.  I then knew that the red and black Electra Glide was mine.  It was a '70 model that I paid cash for.  I thought how could a teenager pay cash for a late model Harley?  I probably would remember the answer to that question soon as well.  The silver Electra Glide belonged to Dad and it was a '65 model (the first year of the electric start Harleys).  I noticed that the driveway was clear of the cars and truck.  Everyone but my Aunt must have gone to work.  On the far side of the garage was a trailer.  I suddenly remembered that Dad had towed the trailer from home.  Dad brought the Harleys in it and some of our luggage.   

       Dad called out to me from the back door of the house.  He said he would be ready in about 10 minutes.  I went inside and grabbed my jacket.  I slipped on my 50s motorcycle jacket.  The red leather lining felt terrific against my naked arms.  I stuffed my smokes into my shirt pocket.  Gently pulling my sunglasses from the front of my shirt I slid them onto my face adjusting them for the perfect position.  I grabbed my black leather gloves from the back pocket of my breeches and slowly worked each glove onto my strong hands.  I found the keys to the Harley in one of the jacket pockets.  I moaned softly with the pleasurable sensations of being totally engulfed in tight fitting, shiny, and highly polished black leathers.  DAMN!  I knew at that moment that I was HOT looking exuding sexual energy at full power.  My cocks started to snake down each leg with considerable strain as my tightly leather clad legs were doing its best to prevent it.  I knew that it would be just a matter of time before I would shoot a considerable size load of cum down each leg.  At that point I didn't care, I welcomed it actually. 

I loved it!  I went outside to the bikes and started my Harley.  Dad walked out of the house (and locked the door) fully clad in glistening black leather from his neck down.  I realized that I had an air of confidence that I had never felt or experienced even in my "previous life" being around my Father.  Dad's personality was totally different from my last "life".  Dad and I (Colt) seemed to have a very tight knit bond between us in this life.  Dad was now a very cheerful person and was insistent on having fun whenever possible.  He also had a very different physical build of his body.  He was much more muscular than he was in the other realm.  We both seemed to feed one liners to each other so we were laughing a lot. 

  Chapter Four

       Dad strutted over to his bike fluidly.  It was almost sexy.  He started his gleaming silver Harley Electra Glide.  My bike was pretty much all warmed up and ready to go. Oh the feel of the exhaust pulsating from the two Harleys just made my pulse quicken and start my adrenaline pumping.  Oh I was pretty excited about going for the ride.  I told Dad told me to lead the way as I knew how to get to Evergreen by going the long way.  We were going to have lunch in Evergreen and then cruise around and head back to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Westminster.   Dad thought our ride should last about 4-5 hours.  I then lowered myself on to my vibrating Electra Glide.  The vibrations made my cocks come to life again.  I slowly zipped up my 50s leather jacket up to the snapped lapels.  I reached up and turned up my collar to look "cool".  This ride is going to be great I thought.  I kicked my bike into first gear and slowly let the clutch out and I was heading down the driveway.  I gently eased the bike onto the street with Dad behind me.  Once I was on the street, I had to just let loose on the throttle and raced Dad to the end of the street.  Dad was right beside me.  Oh, my gawd, this was certainly better than the Harley I had in 2003.  Just feeling the raw power of the Harley going down the road was thrilling my senses.  We headed over to the Boulder Turnpike and went towards Boulder.  The warm sun beating down on my black leathers and the wind in my face and from the speed going down the highway was so invigorating.  I surely enjoyed the wind blowing through my long hair. Between feeling the heat from my leathers to the vibration from the engine of the Harley, I suddenly shot copious amounts of cum down my legs in my leather breeches.  Oh that felt so good!  What a way to have an orgasm!  I didn’t care that I was going to have a mess to clean out of my breeches when we were done with our ride. 

       As Dad and I approached Boulder (it sure looked different from what I remember in 2003), my mind was starting to remember more memories of Colt the “brother” I had become.  I was beginning to see more and more memories flashing in my mind.  It was so strange to feel my two lives becoming one.  More memories began to come through the more relaxed I became.  My old life was starting to fade to where it was beginning to seem like it was the dream.  The real Colt personality was taking over my old personality little by little.   I could feel the transformation take over me.  I was feeling so revitalized with more energy and drive, but with a sense of a responsibility that I was here to accomplish something that I couldn’t do previously.  On the west side of Boulder, Dad and I turned onto Hwy. 93 heading south towards Golden.  Oh, the thrill of it all.  Everything seemed to be making more sense and I started feeling more comfortable with myself being Colt.  I decided to let my mind relax enough so that I could remember more of Colt's memories.  Being on the motorcycle with the wind in my hair I now was able to be by myself to where I could just let the memories flow through.

[humanmoodring-retired]

Feline A Little Clawstrophobic ||Nicole & Nadia

TIMING: Back in April  PARTIES: @nicsalazar & @humanmoodring SUMMARY: Two cat ladies walk into an elevator CONTENT: Drug manipulation (balam ingesting catnip)

Lack of focus was always a problem for Nicole, but it was safe to say things took a turn for the worst in the past weeks. She was hardly present anymore. To the point where she jumped on her truck and drove aimlessly for hours. Like sleepwalking but conscious, she mused. It was better to drive than to walk, though. Not only because she was forced to do light activity after breaking her ribs, but it was better for her if she put her mental energy into an easy task. Walking used to be how she processed things, and she wasn’t ready for it. She couldn’t think about that night without fear constricting her throat.

Wandering around the shopping center was manageable. It would take real bad luck to break her bones again. Nicole held onto a bag items she didn’t recall buying, and tired of just circling around the same places, she headed towards the elevator. She pushed the button for the first floor, but as the doors were closing, another person entered. The eye contact was minimum before she lowered her gaze, shoulders tensing at the presence. Her lips pressed into a thin line. The woman would be able to tell it was meant to be a smile, right? It didn’t matter, in a few seconds she would never see that stranger again.  

With the weather getting less shitty, and with her body healing more and more each day, Nadia was slowly but surely getting more comfortable with going out and doing things. And, seeing as she hadn’t done shit for her own birthday but it was well over a year since she’d found and rescued her cat, Rhiannon, Nadia decided she was going to do something nice for the little fucker. She was grateful to have the cat back in her apartment, even if she woke up with a giant mound of fur crushing her. It was a good reminder that she was still alive. She’d gone to the store and bought a few cat toys with her groceries, ended up snagging a thing of catnip before she was starting to feel fatigued and decided it was time to head out.

The woman in the elevator with Nadia felt like grief and fear and something numb, familiar and numb. Even if it was probably not as overwhelming as it could be, something that she was beginning to expect from many of the residents in White Crest, it was still a lot, and she felt herself tensing up in response. Still, she managed to give the woman a tired smile of her own and a murmured “thank you” before she shifted her weight a bit and waited for the elevator to take them down. Except there was a grinding noise, a jerk as the elevator came to a violent stop. Nadia grabbed at her side instinctively, even though she wasn’t at risk of stitches popping open this late in the game. “Shit,” she hissed, looking around, trying to figure out what was going on.

Nicole lifted her head when the elevator came to an unexpected stop. For a split second she expected the doors to open for another person, but the woman’s reaction made her realize what was happening. The elevator malfunctioned. They were trapped. “Uh—” she swallowed, slowly processing the situation. The feeling of being caged wasn’t exactly one she was fond of, and she fought to keep her rising anxiety in line.  She let out a nervous breath, eyes fixing on the emergency button. “It— it should be fine” she shrugged, leaving her bag on the floor. The less effort she made carrying extra weight the less oxygen she took out of the room, right? “Un— less...unless there’s a blackout or some— some shit like that” She pulled at the extra hair tie on her wrist, absently playing with it. What could be worse than being in a confined space with a stranger? Even her nightmares were nicer than that. “But... it’ll be fine” she met the woman’s gaze through the mirror on the wall, before pushing the button a few times. When she took a deep breath in, something tickled the back of her throat. Brow furrowed, she glanced at the woman again, trying to decipher her scent. Nothing was particularly strong, yet— she licked her lips, trying to concentrate on the smell.

This was cool, this was fine, Nadia thought as she felt her own nerves mingle with the stranger’s. She wasn’t a fan of tight spaces, she was learning, the way it reminded her of being able to look out her own eyes but not move as she lacked control of her own body. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands, the gesture grounding. She was real. It was a shitty situation, but she was real, and she was fine. She almost wished she could walk through the fucking wall like she was still a ghost. Almost. She never wanted to be like that again. “It’s totally fine. Someone’s gonna come, and, yeah, it’ll be fine.” The other woman just really kind of radiated a sense of anxiety that Nadia couldn’t quite get over. This was great. This was why she didn’t get out much. “Just my fucking luck,” she muttered. “Go to the store and get stuck in a damn elevator.” She leaned against the wall and slumped a bit, her bags hanging by her side. When she met the stranger’s eye, she tried to give a half-hearted smile. The other woman’s emotions had changed a bit as her brow furrowed, though Nadia couldn’t quite tell what it was. “Is the, uh, the help button working, or are we in a dead zone?”

Right. It was a good thing they were both staying level headed considering the situation, Nicole thought. Everything would suck so much more if one of them started panicking and sucked all the air in the small elevator. She looked down, hiding a smile at the woman’s words. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one annoyed by the situation. Had she been better at conversations, she would’ve enjoyed spending the time complaining about shitty luck and poorly maintained machines with her. That was a thing adult women bonded over, right? “No… don’t think it’s working” very slowly, she lowered her hand, as if she still held a glimmer of hope that something would happen. She retreated back to the opposite wall, licking her lips again. What was in the air? It was familiar, yet she couldn’t place it yet. Some sort of plant. Nicole blinked once, twice, tongue poking between her teeth. Wide brown eyes stared intensely at the other woman. Searching, assessing. And then— She took a bite of air. Oh, no. Her heartbeat raced. In the back of her mind she was aware of what was happening, but she didn’t think she’d be able to stop it. Fuck. Still conscious, she tried to pass off the odd movement as a yawn. Good, quick thinking and — Oh, it was creeping on her so, so fast. Premium shit, it had to be. She didn’t think she’d care for long.  “I’m— I’m...do you—” poor woman, Nicole smiled lazily. “Have...cat?”

“Oh, good. Hey, I was worried this would be resolved quickly, right?” Nadia sighed, running a hand through her hair and hoping she wasn’t coming off as an ass. It was just, fuck, being stuck in an elevator wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined to spend the day, and at least she wasn’t alone, but she also wasn’t alone, which meant she had to deal with herself as well as someone else. Normally, she preferred that, preferred that she could focus on someone else instead of herself for just a bit, just a fucking bit, but maybe not while both of them were stressed over being stuck in a goddamn elevator. Nadia liked being able to focus on positive emotions, or even fun emotions like anger. Not anxiety. She had enough of that on her own. There was no need for anymore, thank you. She checked her phone. Yep, yeah, that seemed about right. No fucking service. She bit at the inside of her cheek before she felt a wave of just… mellow wash over her. She looked up at the other woman, the smile on her face and the look in her eyes, and Nadia raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ve got a cat. She’s a total asshole. I actually came to the store to get her a few things and…” she trailed off. “Do you… like cats?”

Nicole inhaled deeply, enjoying the absence of stiffness on the side of her chest. She took in as much of the scent as her lungs allowed. The cast on her wrist was forgotten. The effect was much stronger now that her brain recognized the minty fragrance. She tilted her head back against the wall, transfixed by the emergency lights. “Fuck” she let out a breathy laugh. “I’m so so—” she wanted to apologize, knowing she would embarrass herself, but the words faded from her brain. Nice. “Mmm...I’m cats” She closed her eyes, a blissful smile plastered on her face. It was hot inside the elevator, Nicole registered. But for a few seconds there was nothing to worry about. No dreamscape, no cliff, no anger getting out of control. Just the fast beat of her heart to focus on. Not quite euphoric yet. She needed—  craved more. The scent just wasn’t enough. Her mouth was watering. Pupils were blown when she opened her eyes again. She got off the wall, taking a few clumsy steps towards the human. She offered a mischievous smile, nodding at the bag. “Hey... c’mon” she pleaded softly, before getting close enough to peek inside. Her prize. It was driving her wild. She gripped the human’s wrist, forcing her to lift the bag, before rubbing her face against it. Almost. Her patience ran out quickly, the human was so slow that she smacked the bag out of her hands, content spilling on the floor. She dropped to her knees, trying to rip the catnip bags open.

“What the fuck do you mean, you’re cats?” This was a little weird, even for Nadia, but she couldn’t deny that this chick’s emotions? They felt so much better than her own. Pure fucking contentment and happiness and relaxation. It’d been awhile since she’d felt that, and, sure, maybe it wasn’t full-throttle, but, god, it felt nice. It was weird as hell though. Nadia backed a bit into the wall, pushing herself against it. The woman grabbed Nadia’s wrist, the one that had been snapped sometime during or before the exorcism, and Nadia winced. “Hey, hey, no grabbing, let’s not-- let’s not grab, okay?” Nadia… knew this feeling, sort of. She recognized it from the few college parties she’d been dragged to, the way she’d felt it coming off of people from the crowd and filling her, making her want to go back for more. “Dude, are you-- are you fucking high right now? How? We’re in the-- you just spilled my shit, holy fuck.” She watched as the bag of catnip and toys spilled out on the elevator floor and the woman went down to the ground. “I just bought that. Fuck. Wait-- you’re cats. You… you want the catnip.” Okay, cats. Cat people? Cats. This was fine. This was totally normal. “I’m stuck in an elevator with a high cat lady. I wish I was a high cat lady,” she muttered, and she slid down the wall to sit, shooting the woman a tired look. But, hey, at least she was relaxing.

Nicole heard the sounds. Words, she knew. Vaguely. Not that it was ever her strength, but she couldn’t exactly form a coherent sentence at the moment. Her head bobbed without a clear direction, attempting to nod. A cat lady. Curious eyes observed the woman for a moment, waiting for some sort of reaction, any reaction to her trying to tear the bags opens. She was rude but not that rude. It confused her, tilting her head as the woman quietly slid down the wall, but it was the permission she wanted.

She crushed the catnip between her fingertips, nostrils flaring when more scent was released. All tension left her body. Nicole was weightless. She brought the catnip to her mouth, getting a taste of it. A hoarse grunt escaped her mouth. Shit. Shit. Her body tilted forward in slow motion, until she couldn't keep her balance and face planted on the ground. She rolled on her side, letting out a strangled laugh. Something out of the corner of her eye made her jump. She was ready to pounce when she realized— Oh right, the forgotten human. She could enjoy the catnip too, otherwise why did she buy it? Nicole wasn’t selfish. She pawed the air, until she got a hold of her sleeve and pulled her down to the floor. She laughed at that, before breaking down some catnip.  “Here…” she mumbled, her clumsy hand rubbed it in the woman’s face.

There was a woman getting high off of catnip, and Nadia was stuck in an elevator with her. That was what was happening. That was her life now. At least the woman seemed to be enjoying herself. Nadia could feel the relaxation and ease that was working its way through the woman, and it was nice to hear a laugh. Nadia managed a small one herself as she watched the woman struggle with movement. It was funny. It was enjoyable. It almost made being stuck in an elevator for the near future something that was almost tolerable.

Or, at least, Nadia could have believed that it was tolerable until she was pulled over and down to the floor with a groan. “Hey, no, no-- fuck.” She was on the floor with a woman that was high on catnip, and that woman was dragging her down and rubbing catnip in Nadia’s face. Sure, it smelled alright, but it wasn’t, like, weed or shit. “That was for my cat,” Nadia said, her tone dry as she plucked a piece of the catnip out of her hair. “But, hey, glad you’re enjoying it, you know?” It was hard to stay mad with the good vibes.

Nicole gave the woman a blank stare. She wanted to understand what she was saying, she really did. The words were floating above her, but they sounded like a foreign language as they reached her ears. She hummed in response, trying to keep a serious face. Whatever she was saying sounded important. Her cat, something about her cat. Her smile kept growing however, stretching until it hurt her cheeks. She buried her face in the bag again, taking as much as she could before discarding it somewhere on the floor. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment, eyelids heavy as warmth swept her body. The sensation was barely familiar. But it wasn’t new, just long forgotten. Like feeling loved or cared for. Being safe on her mother’s lap. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt anything similar.  

Jealousy filled her chest. The human had to be a great cat owner. How come no one was doing that for her? She turned her head to see the woman, watched her remove the catnip from her hair and while confusing, the message was understood. “Oooh” Nicole would’ve been embarrassed by what she was doing. So embarrassed that she would’ve considered moving out of town. But when the scent of catnip was impregnated in every corner of the elevator, shame was hard to register. A clumsy hand reached out to help, patting her head with no delicacy and tousling her hair in the process. Her human brain still pushed to communicate, thank the woman for bringing such a nice gift to her. Making her feel safe. But words kept failing. Instead, she settled by her side, gently pressing her forehead against the woman’s shoulder. Her breath slowing down.

The cat lady, who was a different kind of cat lady than Nadia’s type of cat lady, was well and truly high on catnip. Of all the things that she expected to happen when she came to the store, this just wasn’t it. Maybe, like, getting attacked by one of those fucking mime creatures. She could have seen that happening. Or maybe the sky raining fish. She’d been there, done that, even if she didn’t get the t-shirt. But this was… a little weird. Not the worst thing in the world, but a little weird. It was hard to be too mad, though, when the woman was smiling and felt genuinely content. It was weird as hell, but she wasn’t, like, malevolent. Nadia had been in worse situations.

“Shit, fuck, ow, yes, thank you, thank you, that’s very nice,” Nadia said as the woman swattered at her head. It was just like dealing with Rhiannon. If Rhiannon was a grown ass woman that was swatting at Nadia’s head. Really, it was practically the same thing. She reached up to fix her hair before giving up and resigning herself to it. Then, the woman leaned against her, calm and relaxed and, yeah, okay, maybe Nadia relaxed a little bit, too. Despite being locked in a fucking elevator, this really, really wasn’t the worst. “Maybe don’t, like, fall asleep. Just in case someone comes to get us out of here, soon.” But she was also a little tired. Just a bit. Not much. But Nadia was always tired. Always. But this was kind of relaxing.

Nicole could hardly remember what her life was before she was on the elevator floor cuddling with a stranger. Nothing extraordinary, surely. But she couldn’t care less. The back of her head was tingling pleasantly and that was all that mattered. She had a moment of utter relaxation and she was going to make the best of it. The human beside her wasn’t too bad either. She made a decent cushion compared to other human cushions, and some of the catnip scent had impregnated on her clothes, making her perfectly comfortable. She barely registered what the woman said, because it was time for a nap. And what was more important than that? So she hummed, letting silence fall on them as she enjoyed the best moment in her miserable 27 years of life. Nothing was going to ruin it.

The floor underneath them shook abruptly. The metallic sounds so jarring to her sensitive ears that her body jumped, suddenly on high alert. Nicole was on her feet faster than it was humanly possible, taking her surroundings in. Her brain was foggy, and though it felt like she should’ve been worried about the source of the sound, all she felt was confused. Not yet conscious, but the sensations gradually subsiding. She narrowed her eyes, staring at the woman on the floor with a puzzled expression. “Wha—?” she let out a big laugh, trying to understand why a woman would be lying on the elevator floor in a mess of bags and herbs.

Nadia was resigned to this. This was her life. She lived in this elevator now. She’d never get home. Her only hope was that Ms. Carmody would see about Rhiannon when it appeared that Nadia wasn’t going to go home. She’d never leave this elevator, and she’d die being essentially cuddled by a stranger that was high on catnip. Her saving grace was the second-hand relaxation that poured off the woman in waves, making Nadia not totally perturbed by her situation. Really, it could be worse. There were more tragic ways to go out. More terrifying ways. More nightmare inducing, memory tugging ways that she thought about all the time. This? This was fucking peaceful. Nadia could allow this, even if she’d miss her friends, her people. She was relaxed. She was chill. She was--

She was jolted away when the elevator started moving again, as well as when the woman moved. Nadia sat up, brushing the catnip out of her hair for real this time as she looked around them. The elevator door opened up, and she stood, grabbing her things. There was a guy that opened the door.

“You ladies alright?” he asked.

“Fine, totally, appreciate it,” Nadia said. She looked at the other woman who was still dazed. “We, uh, we should get off.” Nadia couldn’t tell what happened, but she’d gone from high to coming down relatively quickly, and that seemed to have left a lot of confusion in its wake. She didn’t even mind being laughed at. “Unless you wanna stick around the elevator, that is.”

The rumbling continued, and the elevator began to descend. Nicole felt as if she was being pulled in two drastically different directions. On one side, she tried to navigate the thick fog in her brain, recall important information, like who the fuck was the woman with her and why was she suddenly fond of her. On the other, she gripped the sidebar, her stomach filling with the primal urge to hunt down whatever monster was causing those awful sounds. It didn’t make any fucking sense. She gritted her teeth, but it wasn’t enough to contain the hiss she directed at the emergency lights. Her cheeks flushed, embarrassed. Great. Her awareness grew, but somehow so did the grogginess. Part of her was falling asleep while the other was waking up. And no one seemed to agree on who was going to take control yet.

When she looked down again ,her companion was sitting, brushing off whatever it was she had on her. Cat...nip, she read on the bags. Catnip. The wheels began turning faster. She breathed out, relieved to be able to read. The scent was still floating in the elevator, but it had no effect on her anymore.

The smile still playing on Nicole’s lips faltered, and as the door opened, everything clicked. Well, fuck. The woman’s voice came, and she saw part of her confusion reflected on her face. Nothing but babbling sounds came out as she tried to speak. God dammit, what did she do? And why did she still want to laugh? She nodded curtly at the suggestion, picking up her bags and following the woman. She clenched her jaw, wondering if she could spontaneously combust due to the humiliation. The doors closed behind them and there was silence. “Yeah, uh— sorry about...” she shook her head, pointing in the direction she was about to go. Making a mental note to never leave her house again. “Know what? we...we don’t have to,” they didn’t need to talk. Ever. Why bother? “We’re just not gonna...never” she continued to nod, gripping her bag with sweaty palms. Yeah, that was perfect. She turned around, too scared to wait for the woman to add anything. Eyes fixed on the ground, she bolted towards the nearest exit.