#it's just not my thing if it doesn't have the hurt/comfort factor you know

[gatorbites-imagines]

Heyyyyy gator, idk if you're an invincible show only but if you know anything about him I'd love some Sinister Mark x reader HCs he's my favorite freak (iykyk)

Sinister Mark Grayson x male reader 

Headcanons 

I love sinister Mark, hes a fuckass weirdo. I wanna keep him in my pocket in a jar so i can shake him. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love? No. Actual cannibalism as a symbol of love. All the alt Marks matter so much to me, I wanna love them all... 

TW for blood, mentions of cannibalism, sinister Mark stuff.

I honestly do not think you could have anything like a healthy relationship with Sinister Mark. Either, you are his pet that he tortures and owns, not loves. Or you are just as strong as him, or stronger, and you are both monsters. 

That, or its one of those situations where you are stronger than him, chill, and keep him in check like someone with a muzzled dog. All “he don't bite” after Mark just ripped someone in half. 

I think this version of Mark would struggle to outright love somebody. Being so morbid also means you have some disconnect with your emotions, especially healthy ones. 

It might just start out as possession and obsession. He would see you and decide you are interesting, his property. Or you are someone strong enough to be his rival, or to pose a challenge, so he wouldn't leave you alone. 

Maybe, it can evolve into love, but it would still be a very twisted and uncomfortable version of love.  

Sinister Mark is the type of guy who would hurt you, sometimes on accident, sometimes not. If things don't go his way, it wouldn't be beyond him to harm you, or try. 

If you are someone stronger than him, then he would still try, since trying to overpower you is something that intrigues him.  

I couldn't see sinister Mark being soft and caring the same way normal Mark is. He might have his moments where he just wants to be held or would even kiss you and pet your hair. But they are rare and far between. Especially after the whole stranded situation. 

If he survives the whole invincible war arc, and comes back to you in some way, then he would be even more cracked than you are used too. 

I don't really think a guy like him can go to therapy, so the closest he can get is you, and major part of him doesn't want to appear weak in front of you, which results in him being even more unpredictable. 

If you are stronger then him, or just as strong as him anyways, you might need to actually beat some sense into him. You can't get him to be like normal Mark, never, but you can at least get him to calm down a little and listen. 

This is also just a headcanon I have for all versions of Mark, but I think one of the greatest ways to calm him is to pull him against your chest so he can listen to your heartbeat. 

I don't believe that Viltrumites purr like I do kryptonians. And I don't think the heart has any special meaning amongst their people. I just think Mark likes to know you are alive and has memorized how your heart sounds. 

Did you guys know some people have a kink for heart beats? Yeah. I think this Mark has that, and not just yours. I can see him being a lil freak, ripping peoples beating hearts out because it gets him hot and bothered. 

Sinister mark would use murder and cannibalism as foreplay. If you eat people too, then he's panting and running (flying?) in circles like an excited puppy. He would try to lick your mouth and face, to lap up all the blood and gore mixed with your spit. 

Lord have mercy if you have a healing factor that can keep up with him. I think Mark would go crazy, dopey wild and feral smile on his face as he almost starts salivating. 

If it hurts too much, then he's sure there's some kinda drugs that will keep you comfortable so he can take chunks out of you, but keep you aware through it. 

If you have neither of these, I still think this Marks treats your blood and other bodily fluids like ambrosia. Imagine just cutting your finger so he can lick and suck at it when he's behaved himself.  

It just ends up pavloving him to be extra sensitive to the smell of your blood. Like, he would end up able to pick your blood out of hundreds of samples because he's just printed it onto his brain. 

Hes a freak, and I love him. Dating him would be miserable unless you match his freak, or you keep him as a pet. 

[rosenclaws]

Not Fair || Worst Logan x Reader

summary: Worst Logan is trying to start his second chance but you seem to hate him and he has no idea why.

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, talking about og logan :(

a/n: I had this super angsty idea and idc if its over done I wanted to write it so bam here it is. Plus I miss writing for worst wolvie

Logan was used to dirty look. In fact that was pretty much all he got for the last 20 years or so. But for some reason the look of absolute hatred on your face stung more than usual. He didn't expect a warm welcome when Wade dragged him into this new world. The last Wolverine may have been a hero but probably wasn't always the nicest guy. But so far everyone has been pretty nice.

Yukio was sweet but didn't say much. He likes Negasonic a lot, she's got the same no bullshit attitude that he does. Peter is uh, interesting but not terrible and having Laura here was a new but fun feeling.

The only problem was you. You seemed to hate him. He doesn't know why but the way you look at him really stings. Your eyes are full of hatred it makes him feel so small. Maybe it hurts more because the two of you were something back in his world.

Calling it a relationship would be overstating it but you and Logan had something special. Maybe if he had gotten his head out of his ass and done something about it things would have turned out differently. That seemed to be a common factor with all the Wolverines. Too stubborn for their own good and refusing to let themselves be happy.

Seeing you again was like a slap in the face but maybe he could change something about his timeline. Fix his cowardice and make you feel loved and cared for like he should have. But perhaps he was too late. The other Logan might have already done the damage and he was here to suffer the aftermath.

He sees you across the room. You're uncomfortable. It's Laura's birthday and she had invited both of you. It was weird. The last time you saw Laura she was just a kid. She told you she was okay to go off with her friends and so you let her. You of course offered to help those kids but they declined. Instead you'd send them care packages whenever you could. You didn't know Laura was zapped to the void.

Now she's here and all grown up and just. So perfect. Logan was invited too. Laura knows that he's not the one who saved her but she wants to know him. She's a version of Logan and honestly, he's grown very fond of the kid too.

He can see Laura trying to balance it all. Mingle with her friends while spending time with you and with him. The least he can do is try and reach a hand out. Try and apologize for whatever the other him had done.

He slowly makes his way over to your side of the room. The large group of people and small apartment was not in his favor. As fate would have it Logan does not smoothly appear at your side asking if you want to talk.

Instead he trips over Mary Puppins and sends your drink right onto your chest. Spilling all over your clothes. Fuck. Logan stumbles to his feet. Everyone is staring and he has the overwhelming urge to tell them to fuck off.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Your voice so sharp he nearly flinches. He reaches out to try and wipe away some of the wine. Of course his dumbass would go and make you hate him even more.

"I'm really sorry I didn't mean to-"

"I said I was fine!" Logan shrinks back at your harsh tone. His hands fall limply to his side. You storm away from him into the bathroom.

“Fucked it up again.” He groans.

"It's not you. Well not really." He looks to his side to see Laura offering him a towel. He grabs it and lays it on the floor, cleaning up any mess.

"Logan, my Logan was very important to them and I think seeing you is just a lot is all." She says.

Logan nods, he knows it's weird for him to have shown up here but he's trying to make things right. He's trying to make this second chance worth it. He can't help that his heart seems to be drawn to you. You want nothing to do with him but for some reason he still cares how you feel and how you feel about him.

"Thanks kid, sorry about the mess on your birthday." He ruffles her hair and she shoves him off.

"Don't worry about it old man." He smiles as she's pulled away by a few of her new friends.

He spots you slinking your way back to the party. Moving through the crowd to the door and out of the apartment before anyone could notice. His feet move before he can think. He just wants to apologize and see if you're okay.

He's pushing it but he can't stop. He follows you all the way to the roof. He almost laughs. Of course you'd be here. That's where he'd always find you back in his world. The roof of the mansion was your safe spot.

"Why are you following me?" You turn to look at him. A tired but pissed off look on your face.

"I...I just wanted to say sorry for spilling your drink and to see if you're okay." Logan says gently. He approaches you slowly, like a wounded animal.

"Well I'm fine so you can go." Logan sighs, just walk away Logan he tells himself.

You clearly don't want him there. But something in him won't let him. He walked away from you before and you ended up dead. He just can't do that again.

"I'm sorry, for whatever I've done to you. I get that this whole thing is weird but I just want to make things right with you." Your jaw clenches as Logan continues to stay. Stubborn. Always so damn stubborn. You get to your feet and walk right up to him.

"Can't you take a fucking hint? I said to leave me alone!" You shout and Logan just stands there. That stupid caring look on his face.

"I'm not gonna leave you when you're hurting." He says firmly and it makes your heart hurt even more.

"Still the same stubborn stupid man, you could never listen to what I wanted. It was always what you thought was best." You snap.

Logan always swore he knew best. When he tried to leave you when he got old, he tried to force you away because he thought he was saving you and he never seemed to listen when you told him otherwise.

And this, this Logan seemed to be just like him. That same face, the same voice, the same sharp tongue, the same kindness with Laura, the same laugh.

It was driving you insane.

“You know what Logan? I can’t stand you." His eyes flash with hurt but he doesn't fight back.

"I can't stand even being in the same room as you because you look at me with these sad eyes and I hate it.” Those sad eyes were so familiar that it's just another slap in the face when you realize it's a different man.

“And I can’t stand you because you're messy and you drink too much and because…because-“ You struggle to speak as you try and piece the words together. Everything is building up and the flood comes before you can stop it.

“Because it’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair that you’re alive and he’s not!” You shout. The whole street could probably hear you but you don’t care.

“You are the worst wolverine. You let your friends die!” You shove his chest hard and he lets you.

Staying silent as you fall apart in front of him. Whatever was festering deep inside of you was finally coming out. You needed this. So Logan just stays quiet.

“He wasn’t perfect but dammit he tried. He was a teacher and he protected his friends and he had finally found peace.” You let out a frustrated yell as you kick a rock into the street.

“We were happy. He had fixed everything and we were so fucking happy. Then everything went wrong. Like the world looked at him and decided that some sins couldn’t be forgiven. It killed our friends, our family. It poisoned him. Slowly changed the man I loved into a shell of himself. But fuck I still loved him with everything I had.” You cry as you mourn the man you knew.

The Logan you met that day in the mansion who was so handsome and so cocky. Even as his hair turned gray and his powers weakened you still saw the man you loved. You loved him so much.

“And he died. He wasn’t supposed to die! We were supposed to be happy.” You fall back onto the cold concrete of the roof.

Staring up at the stars as you laid exhausted. The anger had fled your body and now you’re just tired. Tears still falling down your face as you cry and cry. Logan slowly sits down next to you. He isn’t sure if you even want him here. But something compels him to stay.

He’s not the man you knew but he is a variant and every variant of him is destined to love you. He can’t walk away while you’re in pain. Even if you hate him. He can live with that.

"Sweetheart." Logan places a hand on your shoulder.

You look up at him and before you can stop yourself you throw your arms around him. Hugging him tight as you cry into his shirt. He wraps his arms around you tightly. Letting you find comfort in him for as long as you need.

He smells different. That's the first thing you notice. It's a nice smell but it's still different. It pulls you out of your spiral. You pull away to look at him, really look at him. He was Logan. But there were small differences that almost made you cry again. Why? You don't really know. His eyes had more green than blue and he had more wrinkles. He was still just as handsome though.

"Thank you. For not walking away." You say quietly and he nods in reply.

“If I could, I’d trade places with him in a heartbeat.” Logan says. You look at him, tilting your head at his words.

“Why?” You ask.

“If it would make you happy. I’d do anything.” He says like it was nothing. Like he wasn't offering to give up his own life to make you happy.

“You don’t even know me Logan.”

“No, I don’t. But I knew a version of you and I know how much he must have loved you too.” He says as he cups your cheek in his hand.

He knows what that Logan must have felt because he feels it too. Not as strong because he doesn't know you as well but it's there. Maybe it's always meant to be there. That love between you two.

“He was the luckiest one out of all of us you know.” He says.

“How can dying be lucky?” There must be Logan's out there who are still alive. Surely there's no way your Logan had the happy ending.

“He was lucky to be loved by you." Logan whispers.

He's a hard man to love and he's sure that carries on through every timeline. But you still did and you stuck by him through it all. How lucky was that man to have you. Your lip wobbles as you take in his words. The sincerity of it all. Is that really how he felt?

“I’m sorry for everything. I was punishing you for something you didn’t even do.” You say, offering him an awkward but apologetic smile.

“It’s alright sweetheart. Sometimes we just need to let it out. Even if it hurts.” Logan takes your hand and you let him. He squeezes it softly and you squeeze back. You two sit on the roof for a little bit. Watching the stars. You used to do this back at the mansion.

“I’m not trying to replace him, I’m not him and we both know that.” Logan starts.

“But if you’d give me a chance, I’d like to get to know you.” There's no expectations, just a need to be close to you. How ever you'll take him he'd accept it. He just, he really missed you.

“I’d like that.” You whisper quietly.

The love you have for Logan will never go away. His new variant could never replace him. But maybe…just maybe your heart could be big enough to love them both.

“We’ll take it slow. Here, What’s your favorite color?”

“Okay slow down there, thats very private information.” You say with a soft smile. Logan chuckles and raises his hands up.

“Mine is blue." He says.

"Blue like the blue of your suit or a different blue?" You ask and he shrugs.

"I don't know, just blue."

"Logan there's more than one shade of blue."

"Okay well then I like all of them."

You talk for hours. About anything and everything. Some small things and some big ones. But it's nice to have someone to talk to again. You truly missed this. You missed him.

The man beside you is not the man you loved but he is someone you could learn to love. You both each other before, you don't want to lose him again.

[rageserenity]

It's 2024. Are you still thinking about movieverse!Cherik? Because I am.

For the past several months, there's only been a very slow trickle of posts/fics in the xmcu cherik tag. Let's try to breathe some life back into this incredible pairing!

With one clear winner of my poll, here's thirty prompts for the thirty days of April. (This is a super chill, laid-back event---do these in any order, interpret them as loosely as you like! Create in any medium! Fic, art, gifs, meta, incoherent screaming about the otp…all winners in my book.)

The only rule here is to cherik too close to the sun. Alright. Here are the prompts.

Mutual Pining

Doesn't really even need elaboration! Write that horrifically slow slow-burn. Gif every time McAvoy made insane fuck me eyes on screen. Make a playlist of songs about impossible love.

2. Alternate Meetings

There are endless quotes about how these two complete each other in a way no one they'd met before or after ever did. How else could they have met?

3. Erik Has A Telepathy Kink

This is basically canon. Let my boy get freaky!

4. Canon Fix-It

All the times Fox fucked it up. There are endless options.

5. Hurt/Comfort

Put them in that Situation. Put them in that Blender. Break them apart and put them back together ❤️‍🩹

6. Canon Compliant

Draw that missing scene! Gif your favourite cherik moment!

7. Beach Divorce

Make it worse. Make it better. Show it to us exactly how it was. Break it down in a 3,000 word meta. Go wild!

8. Domestics

Sometimes you just want to see them doing normal couple things. Erik put the gun down.

9. Found Family

The real heart of x-men!

10. Time Travel

There are SO many possibilities here. Stick them in a time loop. Give them a chance to change their past.

11. AU

Love a good AU!

12. There Is Only One Bed

Had to get this one in here. What better way to amp up the tension?

13. Genosha

By some miracle, cherik actually did end up together at the end of 2019s trash bag disaster Dark Phoenix. We aren’t making a big enough deal about this.

14. Declaration(s) of Love

Who says it first? How do they say it and when? Have they said it…without saying it?

15. Jealousy

Need I say more.

16. Reunion

These two have absolutely no chill.

17. Soulmates

Classic prompt, had to get this in here too.

18. The DOFP Aircraft

The TENSION here. Break it down for me. How does Charles feel about his injury? How does Erik feel about his injury?

19. Gay Mutant Road Trip

You already know.

20. Body Swap

SO fun when people have superpowers.

21. First Kiss

When? How? Who initiated it?

22. The Mansion

Mansion!content is a genre of its own.

23. Conflicting Ideology

Give me your theses. Who’s right? Can they ever reconcile completely? Write a fic where it drives them apart.

24. Sebastian Shaw

A trope unto himself.

25. Team As Matchmaker

They had to have known something was going on, didn’t they?

26. Cooking

Charles deserves a good meal. Also, imagine Erik using his powers in the kitchen. The sheer domesticity…

27. Hurt No Comfort

Plenty of scope with these two 🥲

28. Growing Old Together

Giving Sirs Ian Mckellan and Patrick Stewart their props as well!

29. Making Up

*pushes chess board across the table* sorry babe

30. Charles Xavier Did More For Mutants Than You'll Ever Know

Rising to each other’s defense. Only I can insult this man.

I will be tracking #revivecherik to reblog stuff! Here’s a fic collection for the same. Let’s get this ball rolling! Please feel free to send me an ask if you’ve got anything to say! And most importantly, let’s all have fun 😁

*I know a few of you preferred something like a gift exchange because of the commitment factor—I’m super down to organise a tiny one for the handful of us! If this promptathon doesn’t flop horribly, we can hopefully do a whole bunch of stuff :)

If you read this post all the way through, please reblog for reach! Thank you! Hoping you participate come April.

Shoutout to @inmymagnetoera for reaching out and helping with this!

[chenouttachen]

it's time for me to sink my teeth into our first brotherly bonding session of season two (in episode one no less!)

firstly, it's equal parts heart warming and breaking to know that whilst jeff has opened himself up to alan and their relationship, the first person he goes to with problems is still charlie. after everything they've been through and the connections they've made, jeff still heralds his brother as his home base. (and yes, i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about jeff not wanting to tell alan about everything, but we're parking that to focus on my favourite adoptive/traumatised brothers).

from the get-go it's clear that jeff and charlie have both come a long way since last season. charlie has established himself in his post-s1 life so comfortably that he doesn't even think to be worried. he's vocal about his desire to stay with babe and be there for him, but aware enough that he doesn't shoot jeff down completely. jeff is far more confident too. last season when discussing their powers and plans, he was all-too willing to let charlie's word be final, to go along with his brother's plans. he also would have taken a step back when charlie didn't immediately latch onto the conversation - he would have agreed to drop it and continued to deal with the issue on his own. here, he's able to assert himself and get charlie's attention.

that doesn't mean jeff isn't anxious though, because he is. it's coming off him in waves. he makes a show of ensuring no one can overhear them, and it's enough to raise alarm bells for charlie. at first it's a little annoyance, wanting to move back to babe as fast as possible, but when he really sees jeff's hesitance, his protective nature starts to kick in. he still wants to be the person jeff comes to.

jeff doesn't beat around the bush - he knows something's up and he's scared. charlie wants to take it in stride; he's a little taken aback at first, but tries to minimise the damage. he doesn't want to undermine jeff, but he's hesitant to jump to conclusions. life's only just got back on track for them all and although he knows that jeff wouldn't come to him if it wasn't important, part of him just wants to believe that his brother is catastrophising.

jeff makes it clear that no, he's not leaping to the worst-case scenario. he's waited it out, he's thought about it, and he's come to the conclusion that something is really wrong and he needs to tell charlie about it. he's always been uncomfortable talking about himself, and he's never been one to mince his words, and he needs his brother to understand that this is serious. charlie is leading the charge in weird power world, and if anyone can help jeff, it's him. and you can see the moment that it sinks in for charlie, that his little brother is in trouble. he's not panicking, or overstepping, but there's a tension to him that we haven't seen all episode.

charlie wants to help, and, as usual, wants to put people at ease. so he focuses on what he knows. there is help coming to the lab, they're making progress with the drug, and he wants to comfort jeff in this knowledge.

but jeff has another bomb to drop, because it's not just that the drug isn't working and that things are changing. it's the uncertainty of it all. he's always had full confidence in his powers, always known them to be brutal, reliable and inescapable. but what he's been seeing and experiencing, doesn't add up and he doesn't feel like he can trust himself any longer.

and this is the kicker. this is probably the driving factor in jeff not wanting to talk to alan about what's happening. not only does he not want alan to worry about him (because yeah, the nosebleeds and new visions are scary), but he doesn't want to hurt the pack. charlie is the only other person in this delightfully fucked up little family who doesn't have that long, complicated connection to way. jeff knows just how insane it sounds to have seen way, and his little pause before he tells charlie only proves how conflicted he feels. he needs charlie to believe him, to make him understand that something is so very very wrong with him and his powers. but he's scared of the implications. either his visions are showing him something that isn't real and he can no longer trust himself or his body, or it is real and someone his loved ones loved his back, but he doesn't know how or why. and he can't tell alan or anyone else until he knows because he doesn't want to hurt them. and charlie is shocked, but it's not disbelief. it's the understanding that they're on the precipice of something big.

and it puts as right back at the beginning of season 1: charlie and jeff against the world, brought together by a vision that threatens their fragile peace.

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged theory

Sanemi and Giyuu are exes (Part 1)

In celebration of the canonization* of my favorite couple, I've decided to try to get out of my writing funk by writing this theory. There's a teeny tiny spoiler included for those of you who haven't read the manga. So bewareeeeee.

Ok so, whenever I think of the actual-current-canon-in-the-anime/manga relationship between these two, something about their animosity just seems off. Even though they don't 'like' each other, and they clash a lot, their interactions give this "We used to be somewhat close" energy. Whether it's ex-friends/boyfriends doesn't matter, the point is that I feel these two have history.

So lemme explain:

Hide yo coins cuz I'm finna reaching with this one 😂

The beginning

I think their relationship started around the time when Sanemi became a Hashira. He was still raw and hurt over the death of Masachika, his new colleagues have a terrible first impression of him, plus he just got the news that Genya has joined the Corps and there's nothing he can do about it. Needless to say, our boy isn't doing so well.

Enter Giyuu, he's new to the Corps too(I figured he joined a bit earlier than Sanemi), Obanai isn't here yet for Sanemi to bond with, and he's an outcast so they would probably gravitate to one another even if they don't realize.

Maybe they went on joint missions and during that time they would have to communicate to one another. Sanemi was probably the one who initiated the conversations and I know this seems unbelievable but don't forget Sanemi has a general openness of 60% while Giyuu has 30% so it's not so far off for Sanemi to try to communicate with him.

Giyuu liked Sanemi, it was probably one of those love-at-first-sight kind of things, but his constant NLOG statements, general aloofness and social ineptitude prevented him from connecting with Sanemi properly. And like I said earlier, Sanemi was still emotionally raw so a lot of Giyuu's actions and mannerisms were probably triggering for him given his background and after many attempts to connect with this guy albeit in his own aggressive way, but he doesn't have the patience to understand Giyuu's words and behavior.

The breakup

Aside from miscommunication, I think the factors that led to their breakup were Giyuu's depression, imposter syndrome and Sanemi's depression and low self-esteem.

Giyuu probably told him one time, "I'm not like you." and refused to elaborate, so Sanemi interpreted that statement as Giyuu looking down on him. He got embarrassed, angry but most of all hurt because of course, he's not dumb he knows how far apart they are when it comes to class. Before becoming a Slayer Giyuu came from a well-to-do family, he's attractive, he's educated, he speaks well and he can write.

So why would someone like Giyuu want to be with an ugly, monstrous, ghetto rat like him? He couldn't tell all this to Giyuu because doing that would require him to be vulnerable and Sanemi would rather die. So he did the thing he always does when he gets hurt, he withdrew. Then proceeded to cover up his pain with anger and his shame with pride.

Giyuu, on the other hand, was oblivious to Sanemi's pain and just assumed that he was just 'hot-tempered'. Around this time, Obanai joined the Hashira and he and Sanemi became fast friends. Finally! Here was someone Sanemi was able to relate to, someone who has the same level of openness, who had similar traumatic experiences, has an equally suicidal desire to kill demons and most importantly someone who doesn't look down on him.

When Obanai encountered Giyuu for the first time probably in his first Hashira meeting, he asked Sanemi about the weird, sad guy who stood way off to the side. Sanemi being comfortable around Obanai tells him about Giyuu, his attitude and their history and Obanai is like 'What an asshole!' and like a true bro starts hating Giyuu in solidarity with Sanemi, much to Giyuu's confusion.

Thus began Sanemi's one-sided antagonistic relationship with Giyuu, but no matter how hard he tried to hate him, deep down Sanemi still cares, and he still wants to connect with Giyuu, but he can't risk being hurt again. Giyuu still views Sanemi as a friend and doesn't realize yet that Sanemi was gone - physically and emotionally.

Then after his first and second encounter with Tanjiro in the first season, I believe that there was a massive but subtle change within him that led him to begin a more active approach in his attempts to connect with Sanemi, and he does so in a really clumsy way that only makes Sanemi even more annoyed.

Giyuu didn't know at the time, but he had an opportunity to get back with Sanemi, and that was when the Master asked the other Hashira to try to make him happy so he would open up.

Shinobu who noticed Giyuu's pining after Sanemi figured that an invitation to eat his favorite food from his favorite person would help Giyuu to open up. Not knowing about Sanemi's beef with Giyuu, she made the request, but that just made him angry as all the emotions he tried to bury came to the surface. Why did he have to reach out? So he can get rejected again? Embarrassed again? Hurt again?

Shinobu being the sneaky manipulator she is used the Master as bait which worked and Sanemi begrudgingly, painfully approached Giyuu and Giyuu in his infinite knowledge replied with a "No" as the start in his response instead of simply telling Sanemi that he was full and that they could go eat later.

Another embarrassing rejection, which made Sanemi snap with an emotion so fierce that he didn't even listen to the rest of the response. All he heard was the cold "No", all he saw was Giyuu's aloof expression, like his Sanemi meant so little to him. Giyuu fucked up, and oblivious as always was left wondering why Sanemi was so angry at him, but his desire to connect with this grumpy man remained unquenched.

So what now?

Well, what follows is a slew of weird interactions between two people who are frustrated with but ultimately drawn to each other.

In the episode where the Hashira were first introduced, Giyuu probably hadn't seen Sanemi in a long time, which was why when he looked when he heard Sanemi's voice.

He also doesn't interfere when Nezuko gets stabbed but when it seems that there might actually be a fight between his love and his son he tries to stop the fight the only way he knows by invoking the Master, which works in distracting Sanemi but not on Tanjiro who is already on a warpath and proceeds to introduce Sanemi to his forehead. Notice that this is the only time aside from his introduction that we see him actually have a visible reaction.

During the indoor meeting, Giyuu sits close to Sanemi like everything is all normal. When Sanemi blames him for the distraction he replies in a friendly tone mocking him like they're friends, because to him Sanemi is just being grumpy. He genuinely doesn't think anything's wrong.

In the next Hashira meeting, he tries the friendly mocking thing again but Sanemi is having none of that. His expression kills me everytime 😂, like mans was ready to scrap.

It reminds me of the 'You have to treat a car like you treat a woman' scene in Ben 10.

Sanemi, the pissed off wife: Go on.

Giyuu, the whipped husband: No, I sense I've made a mistake of some kind.

Obanai being the precious gem that he is, is ready to back his bro up.

Then after Amane left, something changed in Sanemi. In one of my previous posts, I talked about his attempts to reach out to Giyuu by questioning him, but why did he do it? Of all the times, why did he try to confront Giyuu now?

I think it's because of what Amane told them about the Demon slayer marks, about how the mark bearers don't live past 25. Take a look at his expression, he's surprised obviously, but there's something else mixed in.

I figured he knows they're in the endgame now, with the possibility of Muzan coming for Nezuko now that she can conquer the sun. There's no problem this is what he's prepared for, he's always accepted his death as an inevitable outcome but what about Giyuu?

He just realized the unlocking of the marks means that Giyuu would die too. After all this time he still cares and the fact that they could both die without them even trying to mend their relationship scares Sanemi and remember in this post discussing Sanemi's mental health how his impulsive actions are most likely done out of fear, well this is one of them.

Giyuu says the regular NLOG stuff which triggers Sanemi, but instead of running away he confronts him instead. He tries to work past his feelings of inferiority and really listen to Giyuu's words. He tried reaching out in a sort of friendly way with a smile, even if his words came out as aggressive.

Giyuu as usual doesn't elaborate, but Sanemi has had enough, so he literally reaches out for Giyuu, ready to pull his man by the weave if it means that he'll finally get an answer.

Then Gyomei daddy claps, everyone shuts the fuck up, you know the rest. Shoutout to Mitsuri for being the highlight of that scene, she's honestly the best girl 😂.

The first attempt failed, but Sanemi undeterred goes to confront Giyuu again, but this time he tries a different approach. He asks Giyuu to spar with him, maybe he thinks the heightened emotions would cause Giyuu to erupt and reveal his true feelings, maybe he wants to wear Giyuu down so he would be willing to answer Sanemi's question but unfortunately it doesn't work...or so he thinks.

Unknown to Sanemi, this time there was a difference and that was Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤). After the successful Torture the Introvert mission, Giyuu now has a renewed sense of self in a way and he's now willing to make a more active approach towards opening up to people. I already talked about the romantic undertones of his desire to get closer to Sanemi here and here so I wouldn't really get into Giyuu and Tanjiro's conversation after Sanemi left but suffice to say that our Giyuu is a new man. He knows what he wants now and what he wants is Sanemi.

In Conclusion, here's part two.

*Extra stuff

I noticed that even though Giyuu seems emotionless, his hands tell a different story. In Demon slayer, I've noticed that the characters' veins on their faces pop to display strong emotions or reactions. Giyuu doesn't have on his face when they're fighting, unlike Sanemi, but he does have on his hands.

This is the first time (that I know of) that we're seeing this, which tells me that he does feel something. He just doesn't know how to express it.

Also, I'd like to attribute Sanemi's persistence with getting Giyuu to open up to him being the eldest child, we all have the experience of pestering our younger ones until they give in and respond to us. Tanjiro is the same way as well.

Also, Sanemi be treating Tanjiro like an opp when our precious boy is basically his biggest supporter and possibly their future Best Man 😂.

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying it's canon canon, I'm just stating that Ufotable acknowledges this ship, which means that they see something between them too.

[hard-core-super-star]

i have to put a trigger warning to this request, im sorry if it triggers something, it was not my intention, lots of love.

heyy, may I request something like a reader who has depression and is struggling in being clean and just want to relapse in old bad habits of self harm but doesn't say anything to Kate because she doesn't want to disappoint her. but in the end Kate finds out anyway because she knows the reader like the palm of her hand and yeah, free choice for the ending!!

when it rains [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x reader

summary: when the threat of relapsing rears its head, kate does her best to support you...even when you try to push her away.

warnings: depressive episode; mentions of self-harm/relapsing; references to anxiety/struggles with spiraling thoughts; hurt/comfort + hopeful/happy ending; kate being nervous but supportive

wordcount: 1.8k

a/n: i was working on the next part of vampire!kate when i got hit with a random burst of inspiration to write this request. i wrote it pretty much in one sitting so forgive me for the messiness. this is a pretty heavy topic so read at your risk and keep the warnings in mind! there aren't any super explicit descriptions of things but proceed with caution if you find this topic triggering. thank you for the request and for your patience, sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

In hindsight, the signs that something was wrong were obvious.

You should have picked up on them immediately but you were too distracted by the world around you to notice what was going on inside your inner world. Realistically, there were a hundred reasons for your slip of mind and yet, the only thing you could blame was yourself.

You and your lack of focus. 

You and your constant need for external factors to take away feelings you should be capable of working through on your own.

The list of habits to blame for the sudden breakdown of your mental fortitude was shockingly long, in your opinion. 

You probably should have told Kate about your increasingly anxious and self-deprecating thoughts but you foolishly believed you could handle it on your own. 

Plus, she was busy. Too busy to get caught up in issues she ultimately didn’t care about.

At least, that’s what you told yourself…which just made your thoughts worse. 

A part of you knew the archer cared, of course she cared, she had spent the first month since you moved in with her bringing you random gifts after every night of crime fighting. It bordered on ridiculous, especially since there were only so many places to put flower vases, but it showed just how much your girlfriend cared for you. How much she thought of you.

How much she worried for you whether she was next to you or a whole city away.

It’s a thought that usually reassures you. One that reminds you of the love you have for each other. 

The more your thoughts turned sour, though, the more that love turned into a weapon. It forced you to retreat, to pull away from the archer while pretending like the distance you were putting between you wasn’t killing you inside. 

But being alone only made everything worse. And suddenly, the fear of disappointing Kate suffocated you every waking hour.

It didn’t make sense and yet here you are, home alone, hiding in the bathroom, and gripping the sink so hard that your knuckles had turned white a while ago. At least the uncomfortable feeling in your hands had kept you from doing something you really, really, shouldn’t do.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror, frowning at the face that stares back at you. It’s hard to see anything besides the dark bags under your eyes and the exhaustion that’s so clear in every single one of your features.

A sigh leaves your lips as your mind drifts to the razors in the sink cabinet. Your hand is already so close to the cabinet door and the urge to do something you won’t be able to take back rises to the forefront of your mind.

No amount of deep breaths are able to ground you enough for your thoughts to change. Your hand moves a few inches when you suddenly hear the front door slam shut. Some of Kate’s bad habits were also your best allies in moments like this.

You move faster than you can even comprehend, turning the lock on the door and shuffling as far away from the door as you possibly can. You sit on the ground right as footsteps near the bathroom door.

“y/n?”

Her voice startles you despite how soft it sounds. There’s nothing but affection in her tone and yet alarm bells ring in your mind. You almost suffocate under the overwhelming need to run away, to hide, to disappear. 

Your intentions must be obvious despite your silence since she knocks on the door once more. There’s an urgency to her movements that you can’t quite explain. It’s almost like she’s afraid of you slipping away.

The mere thought makes guilt rise up like bile in your throat.

“Love?” She tries once more, her voice uncharacteristically calm. “Can you please open the door?”

You want to do it, you really do, but your whole body feels heavier than ever. No amount of effort or inner screaming gets your limbs to move even though all you really want right now is the archer standing patiently on the other side of the door.

You really don't deserve her.

The door slams open at the exact second your thoughts grow dark once more. 

The sound causes you to jump, your arms instinctively wrapping around your knees and bringing them further against your chest. Almost as if it’ll truly make you disappear so you won’t have to face the disappointment you know will be hiding in the depths of Kate’s concerned eyes.

“Sorry, I got too impatient to pick the lock,” she says, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck. 

You almost want to laugh. Only Kate could be so awkwardly charming at a time like this. Despite her charming act, it’s obvious she’s nervous and more than a little out of her depth. You’d feel bad about it if you weren’t in the same boat as her.  

“Um…” Your eyes lift up from your knees to her face, silently watching while she struggles to put her thoughts into words. “Is it okay if I sit next to you?” 

The answer is obvious to you and yet you still hesitate. Not because you don’t want her around but because you’re afraid of how you’ll act. Of the weird mix of frustration and desperation that make up your inner world right now.

“Yeah,” you mumble. 

Kate wastes no time in coming closer to you. A cynical part of you hates the way she looks at you like you’re the most fragile thing in the world. You know it’s unfair, especially since she’s simply concerned for your well-being, but you can’t change your thoughts. You’ve already spent most of the day trying and failing miserably.

True to her word, Kate simply sits next to you, her side barely brushing up against you. It’s enough of a reminder that she’s physically with you without her running the risk of overwhelming you with more contact than you’re ready for. 

You know her just as well as she knows you, though, and your eyes zero in on her fidgeting hands. It’s almost like you can see the struggle in her motions. The aching need to reach out and touch you, to make sure you’re truly safe.

Ultimately, she doesn’t move. And neither do you.

For the first time in a long time, Kate doesn’t rush. She doesn’t question things or make one of her badly-timed but well-intentioned jokes. 

She just…sits there. 

Waiting. 

Silently watching over you in a wordless expression of her support and love for you. 

It’s more beautifully emotional than you were prepared for and you’re almost not sure what to do.

Until, eventually, you find some sense of calm. You grasp onto it quicker than your mind can even handle and finally…you’re able to move again.

It’s a subtle, almost slow, movement but Kate picks up on it pretty much instantly. You extend your arm out toward her and she gently holds the back of your hand while lifting the sleeve of your hoodie up. The audible sigh of relief she lets out makes your heart clench.

She doesn’t question you in any way but you decide to speak up. Maybe a part of you needs to hear the words out loud too.

“My other arm is clean too,” you mumble. “I…I’m still clean.”

She brings your arm up until she’s able to press soft kisses all over the inside of your wrist. “What you are is strong.”

You can’t help but scoff. The knowledge that she means well does little to soothe the disdain that’s made a home in your stomach. “That’s not true.”

The tone your voice carries startles her enough for her to change her approach. It’s not one she particularly wants to employ but she figures it’s better than arguing. 

“Of course it’s true,” she responds. “I know you’ve been struggling all week, y/n. Surviving that takes more than just luck.”

Her words leave no room for arguing so all you can do is huff in response. Your obvious frustration does little to deter her and she continues to caress your wrist. You don’t miss the way she lingers over the few faded scars that remain etched into your skin.

The affection soothes you somewhat which only brings back the thoughts that had sent you down this spiral in the first place. 

“I want to do more than just survive,” you whisper. “I want to live, Kate. Without feeling so…helpless all the time.”

“Babe…” She sighs.

Your body tenses up as you prepare yourself for the disappointment that is sure to follow. 

Who are you to complain? The only thing standing in your way is yourself and yet you have the nerve to act like it’s the end of the world. It’s no one’s fault but your own that you can’t function like a normal person. 

You expect her to verbalize your own thoughts, to prove that all your doubts were correct, that you deserve to feel this way after all. It’s an extremely unrealistic expectation considering who Kate is but you can’t stop yourself from wanting to be proven right. 

To be given a reason for wanting to disappear.

There’s nothing the archer loves more than proving you wrong, though.

“y/n, surviving is a part of living,” she says, her voice soft yet more serious than you’re used to hearing her. “I know it probably doesn’t feel like that right now but pushing through is the first step to living. You just have to take it step by step…and you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you, if and when you want me.”

Kate’s never been known for being particularly good at saying the right thing at the right time but today…her words seem to ease some of the weight you’ve been carrying lately. Maybe it’s not much but it’s certainly a start.

“I do want you here,” you find yourself saying. “I just…I don’t know why it feels easier to push you away.”

“Because you’re scared, darling. You don’t want me to leave so you walk away first. I do the same thing, y’know?”

You can’t help but scoff. If there’s one thing Kate doesn’t know how to do is walk away when she really should. It would be infuriating if it didn’t work out in her favor most times. Hence how she ended up as Hawkeye in the first place. “Literally when have you done that?”

“Before I met you.” She playfully bumps your shoulder with her own. “It wasn’t exactly my charm that made me a heartbreaker.”

You chuckle despite yourself. “Please, Kate, you’ve always been too oblivious to be a heartbreaker on purpose.”

“Okay, ouch. I am not oblivious.”

Instead of arguing with your stubborn girlfriend, you simply lean closer to her and rest your head on her shoulder. Her arm instantly wraps itself around you to pull you even closer.

The physical comfort helps to ground you and little by little, your bad thoughts stop looking so overwhelming. It’s a small step but it’s a step forward and with Kate by your side, the path to recovery doesn’t seem so bad.

[princessofghosts-posts]

ToA: Hidden Oracle Opinion (4/4)

Should had done this post yesterday but I fell asleep-

Anyway. Since the last 3 post on this were more about my thoughts on the book and some of the scenes in it,I'm going to focus more on the whole concept and the technicalities here.

Let's start with something easy,the narrative choice.

Since we are talking about a serie of books focused on an ex-god,especially one like Apollo that know everything,it's important to have a narrative structure that allows you to let him develop and run real risks. And that the same time,you also can't let the readers know everything already though the MC,so you need to find a solution to left the mystery and plot twist.

For this reason Riordan made sure that Apollo was like an amnesiac person,one second he remember everything and then he forgot. And that's a double-edge sword type of narration choice: for the readers it can get annoying,especially when there are enough pieces to arrive at the solution to the puzzle on your own. We are talking about history too here,so if you know enough about the roman empire and it's emperors you already have a good idea of who is who based on the few hits the characters give you. And at the same time is dangerous for the characters too,since they can't think about anything to save their life. But it was the only way Riordan could have pulled this off,since otherwise Apollo would have already knew everything and there wouldn't be a mystery at all.

Returning to only having the MC in first person telling the story,instead of continuing to alternate PoVs like he did in HoO,was the best choice he made. He is more comfortable in it and it's show in the writing style,that is similar to PJO,that HoO missed. And it's also more smooth to read since we are following only one person,while the people around him live their life. This also gave Riordan a way out in case he doesn't want to explore more of certain characters,and focusing only on the ones that interact with Apollo the most like he did with Percy and the main gang.

I don't really have much to say,for now,about the narrative style since I only read the first book,but it's better and HoO and I hope it's stay on the same waves in the next books and don't fell off.

Now,let's talk about the characters and their interactions/dynamics.

Apollo is stuck,he keeps going back and forth between 2 emotions and that's it. Either he is despairing and feels guilty about everything and doesn't remember shit,or he has a bit of self-esteem and know things that until then he forgot. That's it (at least for the first book,hoping to see him get better in the next one-),there isn't anything else. His major internal conflict is about Daphne,about how guilty he is for what happened,and how much he truly loved her (and Hyacinth). And I don't like that. There are a lot of more things he needs to focus on,and having the ex romance be brought back so many times,just to make Apollo more miserable is not a good way to make him understand that he need to change. He already knew that deep down. It's fine if he feel guilty about it,and I know that their myth is tragic and Apollo is clearly hurt by it,but in almost every chapter there is always something that brought her up. Where are the real problems at? Why aren't we focusing on something more than make him feel guilty for everything without giving him a development??

Meg is Luke,that will pull a Silena (without dying) and Nero is Kronos. Their dynamic is similar as them,but there is a special factor here: the one-sided emotional attachment that Meg has thanks to Nero's gaslighting. That fortunately Luke and Kronos never had (Silena for Luke on the other hand....). Ah,manipulators. They are the worst and really know how to mess you up. But I'll talk more about them in another post.

Meg herself is a child that got so abused that decided to close herself and believe whatever Nero tell her,because it's more easy that than seeing the truth. Because the truth would kill her. So she decided to believe in a lie and live with it,like it was normal. And it's been years since she is with Nero,so he brainwashed her in any possible way. He let her live in the streets,probably happy to get rid of her in the maintime,and call it love. And she accepted it and believe in this "love language" (read:Stockholm syndrome) of his. She was hurt,she is hurt and will continue to hurt untill Apollo get her out of there. She needs help and someone that let her understand that it's safe to get away from Nero,since he is an abuser,and that she doesn't need to be scared to do so. Victims of abuse are hard to convince to break free from the cicle after all,and it's realistic for her to be scared and unsure.

Apollo and Meg dynamic will surely become a found family one,with Apollo helping her realize that Nero is,in fact,her abuser and not a caring father figure,and to get her away from him. And Meg accepting that,and finally finding someone that will actually care for her,and will not have to live on edge every day of her life. Like Percy did with helping Annabeth realize that Luke was becoming someone she didn't knew anymore.

The parallelism between all of them is crazy here. Right now this is the subplot I'm invested most. Psychological damage is real and I live for it.

Austin and Kayla were a delight. This is the first time I saw them since I have no memory of them in PJO (maybe they were too much in the background-),and they are so sweet and chaotic. I liked how Apollo had bonding moments with them,and most of the time it was about things that regarded his domains: Austin with the music and Kayla with archery (and Will with medicine). They are really similar and the way they were caring supporting of him,even tho Apollo himself never cared much about his children in general,really slapped him with the reality of being a bad dad. And the way he wanted to get them back to safety was everything,he is trying and I like that.

What I don't like is the fact that Will got (again) push in the back. Where is their significant moment? The bonding time he and Apollo should have got? Will is part of the demigods that were there when the gods were neglecting them and Kronos was starting to rise again,so I can't image how he was feeling seeing his father mortal in front of him and living with him. There must be some hard feeling here. And then watching him interact with his siblings but not him? He must have felt like shit,but at the same time happy because Austin and Kayla finally could be close to their dad. He didn't.

I already said this,but having Austin and Kayla dissapeare/being kidnapped,while Apollo and Will were both in distress,was the perfect moment to have them interact. Instead of spending the night with Meg waiting,it should have been him and Will. So that Will could finally let everything out and make Apollo realize really how much shit the gods are to them and he needs to change asap. Yes,another moral slap but it's needed here since Apollo is still in his god mentality of "let the demigods do the job for me while I do nothing. They will probably die but they will die with honor." It also make Apollo realize how much neglected he is of Will,even with him here,and how much Will suffered because of the gods treatment towards demigods in general. And make also realize Will himself that Apollo does care for him,and will try to be a better father. It's not a fast change since he was like that forever,it will be slow,but he will change. And Will is going to help him with that.

Ok,I love to much this type of angst that I got carried away,sorry-

Moving on to Nico. You all know what my thoughts on him are,especially with his powers. It's been 6 months in which nothing happened since there weren't prophecy,and he is still in the condition of fainting for everything. Not even in HoO,when he was dying and fading away,he was this weak. And I'm going to be pissed about this for the rest of the serie,because I know there would be other moments like this and then Rick will go:"Sike!" and have him kill someone with just a touch.

It's probably worst than Apollo being stuck in only 2 moods,because one moment he is weak,the other he is destroying someone. Pick up one Riordan,you can't have him alternating between these 2 states. Nico is strong enough to use his powers without problems after 6 months of rest,let him grow out of this stereotype.

It's ok if he want Will to take care of him,but he can do that without nerfing Nico more than he already was. It's triggering.

I liked how the old campers and characters are doing their own things now,and are growing out of CHB mentality. There is a whole world for them,and of course there are still a lot of dangers,but this isnt stopping them from going on sith their life. I like that.

Having the Seven still in the narrative,as supporting characters is also a good thing since they are there,but at the same time they are also doing their own things and can't really help Apollo. Percy coming to save the day wasn't something I liked because Riordan always use him as a solution for everything. A character is in danger and can't do shit? Percy pull in and save the day with some powerplay moves that only he can do. Let him go man,he needs to live his life after everything,you can use someone else for that now. Having Leo and Calypso as his quest-mates was something I wasn't prepared for,since most of the thing I spoilered myself were about the later books and Solangelo. I really thought Nico and Will were going to be with him most of the time and I was totally wrong. Their relationships are also interesting since Leo felt at ease with Apollo while Calypso and Apollo are a bit complicated. Can't wait to see how they will turn out.

I liked how we got introduced to new campers too. Some of them were already there during the other books,but were most of the times background characters,while others are straight up new. They also hav more diversity and rappresentation and I appreciate that,but after all Riordan is know for having a whole lot of different characters in ethnicity and sexual orientations. This also gave him the opportunity to flesh out more new characters instead of using the same one as always,in case he want to of course (we all know how he is).

Python got introduced too early in it. Apollo already knew what was the problem and who he had to fight even before the race. Untill then Python was a concept like Kronos was before actually taking control of Luke's body. The "meeting" in the Labyrinth was uncalled for. It was too soon to introduce the final boss of a 5 book serie,and the focus wasn't even on him,but on Nero and the emperors. If Riordan wanted to have Apollo getting closer to his identity he could have had done something else about it. It wasn't even after the first 100 pages of the first book out of 5. At least he waited to introduce Kronos in the last chapters of TLT.

I feel like Python is Gaia 2.0 here,he will have an occasion to shine at the end of the last book (probably),while the emperors are the Giants. They are the main problem Apollo and the demigods will focus on for the rest of the serie,even tho they are not the final boss. That's ok. I hope that it won't end up like BoO final battles,those were horrible.

Also,idk if it's true since I never interacted much with ToA material,but apparently the whole conflict against the Emperors will end up in a war? I'm not even sure myself,but if we have another war I might cry. These guys had just won 2 in a row,in not even a year of distance,and now there is another one coming? We need more therapists than Mr. D because these children needs help.

Since we are back in the greek part of the Pantheon,the world building is the same as PJO.

I don't have issues with that since I always preferred greek mythology to everything else,and PJO world building was pretty solid and was the base for HoO's world building.

The only problem I had was the Labyrinth. But it's something that unfortunately happens with every writer and story,and not only with objects but also with characters.

When a main character story end,and the author continue to write and still include them even when it's not their story anymore,they become side characters. Which means that the beloved character we had before totally change since the author needs them to step down and let the new protagonist take the stage. They become OOC,weak,disinterested or non-existent at all most of the time too. The author plays a lot on the nostalgia,that even with just a reference to the old story,can give to the readers. So in a few words their change can be described in: loosing plot armor and their importance to the plot.

That's something done a lot in anime,cartoons or movies,but also in books too since they need to focus on the new guy and the old one become irrelevant,if not an obstacle to the new MC.

Of course this isn't the case for Riordan since for him it's the opposite. Even with a new protagonist,Percy is always relevant or will always be more powerful than the new guy. We saw that with Jason and everyone else in HoO.

The same thing is also applied to some object: since you need to introduce something new or more powerful,the old one loose their importance or their values.

An example of this are Hazel's powers. Once Hecate told her about her mist powers she concentrate on those and trained those,instead of her own powers,since now she has a more powerful "upgrade". Which is something I don't like because even without her ability to control the mist,Hazel is extremely powerful and it's also bittersweet how she favored the mist to her own nature. But that's on me.

The Labyrinth has the same problem. It was introduced as one of the most insane place ever for a demigod to be,and then little by little it got reduced to something simple,because the books had other dangerous place to visit.

Chris went insane there and Dyonosus had to help him out of it. Clarisse turned back from her mission and didn't want to get back in it. Other demigods that went in there either got lost or died with Luke's traps or because of the Labyrinth in general. In HoH Percy and Annabeth told Hazel that they couldn't use the Labyrinth to get the statue back at camp,because it's too dangerous and unstable,especially with Pasiphaë remodelling it as she wanted,instead of letting be like Daedalus created it. And now campers are having a race in it,without even weapons or some protections or some plan to get out of it.

The Labyrinth cannot be controlled and that's something we already understood in BotL with Annabeth. And now they are trying to see if they can utilize it,like,have you all forgot what happened almost 3 years ago?? You had a battle inside there and most of you died,and now you want to do something you already know it's impossible??? Where is the logic at??

Austin justification of this is because the Labyrinth changed and it wasn't anymore evil,but it's still dangerous and can get you in very bad situations (i.e.: Apollo at Delphi). It's still change and it's still a bad place for demigods to be since the Emperors are also using it to move faster in various part of the world from what I understood. It's like Kronos's army all over again. And that was just Riordan trying to save himself here,since he knew he couldn't have them being in the Labyrinth without downplaying it's dangers.

It's unfortunately pretty common tho,Riordan isn't the first and won't be the last to apply this type of choice. Once something served its role they lose their value and the author can do whatever they want with it. This it's also extended to everything: characters,objects,powers,locations,and everything else in between.

Anyway.

I liked the Hidden Oracle,and even if there were a couple of things I don't agree with,it was better than HoO and I hope the quality won't die between the books. I don't think I will be able to read the second one since I need to do a lot of things for school,but I'm going to buy it anyway in these days. I'll probably continue my reading after my high school exam tho,so I'll need to wait to finish the story.

This doesn't stop me from analyze the new characters and their trauma backstory tho :)

[chimera-boy]

@eldopism What I can say is it's not the same as the trans identity issue. I was male when I was born. The doctors just didn't catch it. I didn't shift my self concept away to anything other than myself. I felt like I didn't fit because I didn't fit.

My go-to example is the Ugly Duckling story. A duck born into a duck family, led to believe he's a duck, does all the things the other ducks do but is a swan. And it's because he was a swan, in physical reality, the social degree of separation was there at all. He didn't begin identifying as a swan and then labelled his issues through that inaccurate lens. The issues were present because he *was* really a swan who misunderstood himself as a duck.

I think only those with dsds can experience it. Sex dissonance when we've been coercively assigned and put through puberty that conflicts our sense of identity due to our 'true' sex being hidden. It is not a dysphoria related to trauma or anything external. It's the product of being in the dark about a reality you have, in much the same way not telling an autistic child they're autistic doesn't stop them from being autistic and knowing something is off.

Being raised in proximity to women or "socialized" female didn't make me one. But I did gain some added comprehension of female social rites. If my phenotype had developed properly this wouldn't be a conversation because nobody believes a man can just "learn" to be a woman. But because I undervirilized I've been approached with the notion that perhaps I just have internalized misogyny and could accept a woman identity. I did accept it for years, and there were no issues. It just wasn't true. I understand the thought process, and it's a good question to ask that I have myself pondered on. Thankfully, I don't. That requires internalizing that I'm female to begin with and, for me, it doesn't cross. Female achievements aren't my achievements or wins. Their spaces are just their spaces. I don't feel left out or the desire to make them inclusive to me.

Perhaps the biggest difference: I don't feel unsafe around men. That was never an instinct I learned. I actively prefer being around other guys and feel comfortable. And I'm aware they could hurt me I guess. But that doesn't make me a girl.

I've heard of transmascs mentally associating themselves as part of women and have to constantly correct themselves from how automatic and ingrained it is because, underneath, they truly feel they are women. I don't have this issue. The opposite occurs. I'm aligned to view and understand myself as male not due to outside factors, not in comparison to women. Just because I am. Because I was born one. We don't know the specific mechanism(s) that trigger it. Just that it's triggered.

I'm a believer in nature over nurture. Or rather, behaviours *can* be nurtured but it doesn't erase the underlying nature that then coexists with it. And my nature is "male" however that could be described. I won't try to describe it because it's reductive and over simplifying. But we know the difference of sex exists because we reject the idea that all it takes to be one is [insert stereotype]. Similarly, we don't take to males who simply alter their phenotype with surgery or hormones to then grow breasts etc as being female. So I don't think due to my phenotype alone I should be classified a woman. I'm aware the personal identity in xy dysgenesis cases are not all male and can be female.

As to why my identity turned out male, I suspect because my condition is a more mixed dysgenesis (partial development vs completely inactive gonads) so the hormones secreted from the testicles influenced my overall sense of self even despite estrogen present. Maybe. There's not enough study on how identity forms outside the subscription to gender identity theory. Personally, I feel it's something that develops in the womb involving genetics and how the interplay of hormone exposure affects the brain.

So even though I came out with some female biology due to a hiccup I was already "pre-set" to male regardless. In the same way, I think if I was born blind or deaf I'd have this identity. It's a congenital error, and said errors don't necessarily inform how one understands their sex, for example.

[twstfanblog]

Hello hello, I love your manhwa au so much, it gives me life!! Plot A is my favorite, I love the angst factor, thank you for the food. I'm not the og plot G anon but I have some ideas for it that hopefully keep FL in character!

FL being so annoying when she's flirting with Yuu that the trio takes notice that Yuu hasn't been around them as much. At first they're kind of smug and happy that it's pulling Yuu away from their usual time together, thinking they can finally get some peace and quiet now. Then the jealousy lowkey sets in, because they haven't seen Yuu in a while, where is she? She was invited to the gala today, and she usually shows up early to annoy them, so why are they standing alone in this crowded room? They overhear some guests mentioning how they saw Yuu and FL at a cafe earlier this week, and how the two are rarely spotted without the other in public these days. FL seems to really like Yuu! There's gossip about if it's romantic, that's how intense FL gets even in public spaces. The trio get this weird sinking feeling in their chests at the thought that Yuu wasn't going to be by their side forever. That she was choosing someone else over them.

Except, Yuu isn't reciprocating FL's feelings. Originally she thought FL could be a new friend, but the things FL has been doing have been killing her vibe to say the least. Pulling her away from her other friends (the trio) at events, finding her in public and inviting herself along to Yuu's solo outings, and being really annoying and clingy in a way that stomps on Yuu's personal feelings. FL doesn't respect her opinions or care to listen to what Yuu is and isn't comfortable with. Yuu feels like FL is fully obsessed with a character she's made up in her head and superimposed on Yuu's person. Yuu starts staying home more, causing Crewel and Crowley to take notice and grow concerned. She stops accepting invites that she knows FL will likely be invited to or be a plus one of a guest to (this includes a lot of the events the royal family hosts since they invite practically every noble family). Maybe this sudden lack of desire to socialize makes Crewel so worried he suggests some pen pals Yuu could write to and that's how she befriends Leona, Idia, Riddle, and Vil in this one. (She writes to the trio too, but they don't reply to every letter and she stops soon after, thinking they're busy and she's bothering them. It's fine, they're still friends after all! Except, her new pen pals have a lot of responsibilities of their own yet still make time to reply to her... She's just overthinking it probably...)

Eventually the trio meet up with Yuu again at a gala and say some rude things, still not understanding they're jealous. Things like asking why she came back to bother them. Yuu, who has missed them a lot and pushed herself to leave the house today to be able to spend time together, is understandably hurt and upset. She snipes back at them she just wanted to spend time with her childhood friends today but she can see she's not welcome here, and she walks off to find her pen pal buddies who have been treating her better. Trio feels bad about that since they are at this point in time more accepting of there being some level of friendship between them, even if they feel it's mostly one-sided from Yuu's side. Later at the event, the trio (finally) sees for themselves what an interaction between Yuu and FL is like with Yuu visibly uncomfortable, trying to get away from FL with excuses, and FL not respecting any of Yuu's wishes or personal space. This can go two ways with trio realizing Yuu hasn't been choosing FL over them, she's been trying to avoid FL and a side effect was avoiding all of society (including them) in the process... Or a misunderstanding blooms that Yuu is being bullied by FL and she was too scared/embarrassed/prideful to tell them.

I love that everyone gives me mini manhwas about my AU!!!

Lowkey though, Yuu wouldnt change much. She'd just openly ignore FL. Because of her example of Crewel and Crowley's relationship she sees being mean to FL as also giving affection. And god forbid she's nice to her.

So FL just doesn't exist anymore. Poor thing is trying to convince Yuu that she doesnt need to stay with Malleus the whole evening and they should dance together. Yuu is just deadlocked gripping Malleus’s arm and asking him if he found any new gargoyles on the palace property.

Jamil watched Yuu completely walk away when FL fake fainted right beside her to force her to catch her. Yuu just turned away right as she was tilting.

Azul is the one who asks Yuu, after he had the tweels pick FL up and just walk away with her, what the fuck all that is about.

Yuu: Look, she's just really annoying and this is the only way I could think of her getting the hint I don't want her around.

Azul:

Azul: Just be your normal horrid self. She'll run for the hills.

Yuu: I can't do that. Being mean is just as affectionate as being nice.

Azul:

Azul: What???

Yuu: Yeah? It's how my dads like showing how much they love each other.

Azul:

Azul: By being mean to each other???

Yuu: Yeah.

Azul:

Azul: This explains so much of our childhood together.

[quartzeikek]

KENIFIES FIC !! this is romantic !! Kenadian has OCD in this , and i do NOT have ocd !! so even though i've done my researched & peer reviewed this , keep the fact that i dont have ocd in mind!! <- also, on that note, thisis wifies POV & he doesnt know what ocd is !! words: like 2k !!

Wifies considers himself to be very observant, in fact, he'd consider "being observant" to be one of the things he's best at, considering he was literally built for that purpose. So, he's comfortable with having it settled right between cooking and pretending to be human, and perhaps those three are behind pattern recognition- anyways. The point is, due to this, he knows, for a fact, that Ken is more stressed than normal.

"Wiiiifiessss, babe, love of my life," Wifies glances away from his work- one of the many downsides about being a clone of a workaholic- to see Ken slumped across the back of the couch.

"Kenadian." He responds, whatever soft expression he's wearing definitely ruining the purposeful monotone of his voice. Not that he cares though, because the tension leaks out of Ken's body, and she somehow becomes even closer to a state of liquid. "Have you ever thought about painting your nails?" A 10 tick pause where Wifies considers the question, "Well," Wifies stalls, leaning back and resting his head beside Ken's, "not before this, no. But, I wouldn't mind them getting painted." Ken grins, giving him a quick peck on the lips, then their eyebrows scrunch and she gives him a few more in quick succession. When they're satisfied she smiles, starting to get up.

"Though, whatever happened to relaxing all day and watching me work, Ken?" Ken pauses, and Wifies can see the gears turning in her head. "This is relaxing! This would count as relaxing. Yeah. And besides- you've been working for far too long! What are you even working on? Code?" "I'm literally a clone, I need to learn code in case I need to-" "I can practically hear your fans whirring!" "I don't even have fans- redstone doesn't produce heat, why would you even use fans as an example??" "So, logically, a break is in order!" Ken lands on the floor with practiced movements, and Wifies runs a million different responses through his cpu before deciding to just chuckle and get up, following Ken.

The main factor that points to Ken being stressed is that she's even home in the first place, Wifies thinks, turning the corner to enter Ken's room. Ken's really only home when she's asleep, they've planned something like a movie night, she's procrastinating something, or she's stressed out. And, based on the sheer amount of redstone and blueprints on their desk, Wifies would bet his diamonds on Ken being stressed. And- maybe also procrastinating, but that's neither here nor there.

When Wifies sits criss-cross on Ken's fluffy, half-yellow, half-green carpet, Ken's already digging through his vanity to find his bin full of nail polish.

Ken inhales a sharp breath and puts everything away, leaving the room for what could've only been a second before retracing her steps and restarting the process of getting out the nail polish. Wifies sits patiently; quietly observing each time Ken restarts the process with a tilted head and a twitch of his ears. Though, he does make sure to smile if Ken ever looks his way.

When Ken sits down in front of him, they're already talking about her plans for Wifies' nails. "Okay, okay, I know you've got that whole black-and-white thing going on, but- but but but- listen, listen! Black base, green and yellow french tips!" Wifies can't hold back a snort. "Is this just an excuse to get your colors on me?" Ken leans back, hand on heart, like he was hurt. "Whaaaaatttt??? Nooooo! I can't believe you would ever suggest that I would do that!"

Wifies holds in his amusement and keeps his face carefully blank, watching Ken's facade crumble into giggles in front of him. "Okay, okay, Wifies, Wifies, green and yellow are just the superior colors!" Ken manages through shaking shoulders, Wifies gives her mercy in deciding to respond."Riiiight, well, i guess if they're so superior they'll just have to be on my nails"

Ken's smile is bright when they open the bin, pulling out the stamper and colors. They hesitate a bit, before replacing the plain black with a glittery one, glancing over at Wifies. Wifies, truthfully, doesn't really care about the color of his nails, besides the fact that having them painted in the first place might make him feel more human, so he gives Ken a reassuring smile. It doesn't seem to work, as when Ken looks back to the polishes, her eyebrows are still pinched. She aligns the bottles in a perfectly straight line, then separates them by a few pixels, seeming to count the pixels in-between them. She places the stamper behind the polishes, then seems to remember something, and gets out some acetone and cotton balls. She re-arranges the setup a couple times, by height, then by color, flipping the colors around and around.

When Ken relaxes, they pick up the glittery black polish. Wifies offers his right hand, and Ken seems to get nervous again. Wifies counts up to 30 seconds, watching Ken open and close the polish's bottle. Wifies- doesn't really know what to do here, he's good at observing, not acting, but he thinks his silence is making Ken more anxious, so he starts speaking. "Do players often paint their nails? When we've gone to popular servers, I see a lot of painted nails. But I'm not sure if that's a characteristic of players who play on popular servers, or the player population in general." Ken pauses, glancing back at Wifies. Wifies thinks that she sometimes forgets he's a clone. Well, she doesn't forget , obviously, more like.. suspends her disbelief.

"I- don't know, actually." Ken has a thoughtful look on her face, opening the polish for what seems to be the final time, placing the bottle on the ground beside her and starting to paint Wifies' nails. "I know me, Wato, and Corealis paint our nails," Wifies suddenly notices Ken's alternating green-and-yellow nails. "And I'm pretty sure Seawatt paints his, too. But I don't think he did before he got on Parkour Civ." Ken pauses for a moment, dipping the applicator back into the bottle before continuing. "I don't think many speedrunners paint their nails, but I'm positive none of them- or, at least, none of the good ones- wear long nails. Too much of a risk of them breaking, and a broken nail could be the end of a good run." Wifies remembers Ken speedrunning prisons, measuring their movements until the only thing holding them back is RNG. Wifies imagines painting dye onto the bottom of their shoes and seeing how the coordinates of her steps change each reset.

Ken finishes his right hand and moves onto his left, Wifies feels the fluff of Ken's carpet move under the slow wag of his tail. Ken continues speaking, "I remember Wato talking to me about this one person's nails- one of the people he's met on Hypixel skyblock, which is like- not- weird? I guess? This person had really long nails, like, more than a few pixels, decorated with shiny silver polish and- I think it was diamonds? Like, if any server would house people with such long, fancy nails, it'd be Hypixel. I think Wato even asked me to work on longer nails for them after that. That's why I have acrylics now, actually. The powder got all over Wato's room and we haven't tried again since." Ken's laughter warms Wifies' heart, and he ends up laughing too when Ken has to put the polish applicator back in the bottle to avoid ruining Wifies' nails with her laughter-induced shaking.

Wifies picks up the conversation when Ken's laughter quiets and she starts painting the two unpainted fingers on Wifies' left hand. "Well, even if not a lot of players paint their nails," he looks down at his sparkly black fingertips, "I think these make me feel more human. It's another thing that separates me from Evilfies, too." Ken scoffs, capping the black polish and starting to fan Wifies' still-wet nails. "I bet Evilfies didn't even wear top coat on his nails. His nails were probably super dry. He was so miserable! You didn't even know what cookies were before we left! So, I highly doubt he did either!" Wifies huffs out an amused breath, "I don't know everything he knew, you know. He could've known what cookies were."

Ken throws his hands up, completely forgetting about the fact she's supposed to be fanning Wifies' half-dry nails, "You saw the sad kitchen he had in there! I bet he only ate things out of the creative menu! And- and! Not even that! I bet he only ate golden carrots! And his argument would be something stupid like, 'golden carrots are the most efficient food source', I can practically hear him saying that! With his dumb face!" Wifies laughs, imagining his jaw and cheeks hurting with how many times he's laughed today, and sees Ken smile proudly through the artificial tears in his eyes. Ken, at that moment, starts fanning Wifies' nails again, and Wifies thinks he can see the gears turning in her head on whether or not it's dry enough to continue working.

Wifies avoids commenting on how Evilfies' face looks exactly the same as his, and instead plants a quick kiss on Ken's nose, watching with amusement as Ken's face turns bright red. Ken pointedly looks away from him, going to dig around in the nail polish bin to retrieve cuticle oil and top coat, both bottles ending up to the right of the stamper. Ken ends up switching them around a couple times, but Wifies doesn't interrupt, mainly because his nails are still slightly wet and, on a lesser note, he gets to admire Ken while he's here.

Wifies flaps his hands to quicken the drying process, and while he watches Ken, all he can feel is an overwhelming sense of love . It makes errors spark to life in his mind, it makes redstone spark and lamps switch on, it hurts his chest where it rests, behind where a player's heart would be. Ken's wearing a simple hoodie-sweatpants combo, and Wifies thinks it's the most beautiful picture; Ken sitting in front of him, painting his nails, feeling the same love that hurt's Wifies chest but was meant to live in hers.

Ken, when she's done, picks up Wifies' hands in her own. "I think the black is dark enough that we don't need another coat," she says, twisting his hands around and squinting at what she sees. "I think they're dry enough, too, so! We can work on the french tips!" Ken drops his hands, moving to pick up the stamper and the green polish. She spreads the polish on the stamper's surface, then puts the green away and picks up Wifies' left hand with so much care Wifies almost can't believe it's for him.

Ken pushes the tip of his pinkie's nail into the stamper, and when it's released, Wifies feels a little speechless. She cleans the stamper then repeats the process, yellow, green, yellow, green. Each finger gets stamped in alternating colors; a sort of sacred-feeling silence filling the space they've built together.

When the process is finished, Wifies' left hand starts and ends with green, and his right hand starts and ends with yellow. A mirror of Ken’s own nails. Ken starts putting everything away but Wifies isn't looking, and he doesn't know if Ken restarts and repeats the process of cleaning everything up, but when Ken sits between his crossed legs and rubs his face against his cheek, Wifies' nails are dry.

Wifies' wraps his arms around Ken's torso, and buries his head in her hair, and he kind of feels like crying- even though that doesn't make sense . He thinks they sit there longer than he's aware of, even though Ken's purring keeps him more grounded than he could've been. And even though Wifies knows he’ll have to bring up Ken’s messy desk later; they sit there, on Ken's green and yellow carpet, in the middle of Ken's room, in the middle of this house they've built- that has become more of a home to them than anywhere else they've known. And Wifies knows, as much as the stars never touch and the universe loves, that this is the best life he could've even known as a clone.

[y2ksnowglobe]

alright i am humbly asking you to make everything related to nick and cassandra sadder 🙏 thank you :)

sits down with the solemnity of someone about to break the news that Santa isn't real (which is funny given that Nicky is canonically St. Nick)

We see Nicky being a part of Taylor's life up to around toddling age in the memories that Nick gives to Taylor when busting him out of the FBI headquarters, but we know that toddling age is definitely before Code-Purple (since that happens when Normal is around 6), so as much as Nick wants to say the betrayal is why he left Taylor and Cass, there is not a way to comfortably merge that with canon (and you came to me for angst, so like...why would you want to?).

In canon, we see Nicky blame the others for his absence in Taylor's life, but as much as the FBI is involved in their reuniting, Nick doesn't really use them as the excuse for why he's not around very much beyond saying his absence was to protect Taylor.

Personally if Code Purple was when most of the teens were around 6, I give them a few years before they start floating the idea of doing it again, I tend to put this around when the teens are 9-10, but that's just preference and very vibes based. Like, I think if we want to use canon to try and back this up, I'd say that, based on the memories Nick gives Taylor, Glenn was still around after the betrayal, and I feel like Glenn and Morgan dipped when Jodie started trying to get Morgan back which would be post the birth of Hermie, so...according to Anthony (and this is like...my least favorite bit of canon and I would love to ignore it) would have been around two years before the start of the campaign.

Anyway, all this to say that there's probably around 6 to 10 years (depending on how you slice it) that Nick isn't with Cass and Taylor, that appear to have little to nothing to do with Code Purple, heck...based on what we hear Jodie say about Taylor and Nick not interacting much ever, it's likely that Nick bailed on Cass and Taylor before Code Purple, before Hell was even a part of that discussion.

So why?

Nick describes the two of them just...not working out, but there doesn't seem to be bitterness there. Likewise Cass says she misses him everyday in ep. 1 (although not enough to not be very alarmed when he shows up at her house out of nowhere).

Okay...so that's our foundation, (puts on angst chef hat).

Now, I'm team Nick accidentally knocked Cass up and they got married to avoid any need for like paternity tests for Taylor (because Nick does not want his DNA anywhere that might tip off the FBI, especially when his son is involved). That being said, I think the two of them got along really well and it was very sweet and they started out both really wanting to make it work, but then Nick is very much always on call at D.A.D.D.I.E.S. (the demon powers come in handy)and he misses things because he's off on missions, and he starts comparing himself to Glenn in regards to being away for work, and also his worries that Jodie was going to get hurt on his job. He kept being so nervous he was turning into the worst parts of his own dads, started to worry that he was messing Taylor up somehow, getting more and more stressed and that stress started bleeding into his relationship with Cass.

Over time he spends more and more time at HQ, and eventually Cass is like...I can tell you don't want to do this, we can get divorced, I understand and Nicky isn't sure what to feel... Cass tells him that she'd love for him to still be a part of her and Taylor's lives, but clearly the marriage isn't working. He feels like he must be failing and after failing feels like his only option is to disappear completely, he'd rather not be a factor in either of their lives than making things worse. So he vanishes off into Hell, just keeping watch in case either of them get in trouble, but not wanting to hurt them by messing up.

If anyone else wants an angst request, feel free to drop an ask.

[faerise-fae]

Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!

YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN

Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS

The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.

Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.

People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:

HOT TAKE #1:

Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.

He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.

Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:

My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.

But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.

Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.

*HOT TAKE #2:

And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.

So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.

[skulkiee]

Hiii! I wrote a thing. After like a week. I hadn't written in so long it wasn't okay anymore. Im sorry if anyone was waiting for the next bit of the story about the Gods im writing i have not made any progress because the show i was in was brilliant but now i am dead✨

Anyways yah. I wrote a thing. About Eurylochus and Polites and that one cut song that gets me every time.

"Eury?"

Eurylochus really doesn't want to talk to Polites right now. He loves the guy, he really does, but he just doesn't want to talk to anyone.

"Hey, Albatross, you hiding?" Polites does find him, as Eurylochus expects him to. The old nickname puts a little smile on his face, though.

"No." Eurylochus answers. Whilst sat in a shadowy corner behind several crates in the bottom of the ship. Noooo- He would never be hiding! What does he have to hide from?

Polites looks down at him from where he's leaning over the nearest crate, "Ok, well, all the rocking of the ship really isn't good for my legs you know, specially with all those injuries I got from the cyclops-" Eurylochus thinks he looks perfectly fine, "-so would you let me sit beside you?"

(He still remembers the utter terror when the club hit Polites, when the cave fell silent and he saw the person who means the most to him in this life and the next lying broken and battered in a growing pool of blood, reaching out for him, rasping out a pained "Eury-" before the club came down again, barely missing him, barely-)

He pulls himself out of his thoughts.

Eurylochus really should call his partner out on his lie, but he's always been bad at saying no to Polites, and company right now wouldn't be all bad, he guesses. Polites doesn't wait for him to answer, instead sitting down next to Eurylochus and placing his staff at his side, that small half smile-half frown that he does on his face.

"Why are you here?" Eurylochus asks eventually, "Why do you care so much?"

Polites blinks, still doing that funny expression and not quite looking at Eurylochus, "Because I love you, Albatross, and you aren't gonna believe this, but what just happened wasn't your fault. Neither was the cyclops, or Aeolus' game."

"Yes it was." Eurylochus offers a little grin and a broken laugh, "It's all my-"

Polites just rolls his eyes, "Shut up, idiot." He says it fondly, turning to look at Eurylochus, "What happened in that cave was the Lotus-eaters fault and the cyclops' fault-"

"Yes but I let you and Odysseus go to that island alone, not knowing what that island could hold-" Eurylochus scrambles for an argument, "You got hurt."

"But I'm ok." Polites doesn't seem to quite grasp how much he really does mean to the crew, to Eurylochus, and it is always most obvious at times like this.

"I thought you were dead." Eurylochus hisses, "I can't- you can't- I wouldn't have known what to do if you were dead."

"Keep on living." Polites smiles that crooked smile of his.

Eurylochus frowns at him, "You say that like it's easy, Songbird, like I could just brush you off like dust on my shoulders and move on. You-"

"Well I didn't die."

"But you could have died to- to Posidon! Or the winions-"

"You really think-" Polites laughs, "That the winions would have killed me?"

"They were an unknown factor!" Eurylochus protests, "They could have been dangerous, we all know Aeolus was!"

"Aeolus wasn't your fault either." Polites continues on, "You warned the captain against going to speak to them, you told him the gods are dangerous, and he didn't listen. Gods, he really should have."

Eurylochus watches the way he starts to shake slightly, his dark eyes turned down and his voice cracking.

And well, it goes like this: they'd all seen how Odysseus had reacted to Posidon killing their crew- their king, their captain, had fallen apart, yelling and cursing the gods and all their parents, tears on his face.

Eurylochus and Polites… They'd- they'd held themselves together for the crew, they'd smiled and comforted the crew in the days after, while their king hid away in his room.

But they'd suffered just as much as Odysseus, if not more so, they were just both better at acting than their friend, in a way where they had no reason to act but did it anyway, slowly crafting armour around themselves with their words and eyes and actions, armour that only a select few were allowed to see beneath. People expected Odysseus to be the one lying and hiding behind masks, not them.

Whilst Odysseus had been the captain, he had a duty to protect the crew, but they were still just his subjects, servants and people under his rule. Eurylochus and Polites knew each of them, their worries and fears and nightmares and how to make them laugh and smile, they knew each family member that would never see them again. That was their job, to know the crew. So it hurt so much more, for they lost friends, family, and Odysseus only lost nameless faces and subjects.

And this was why they had their armour. They'd both lost everything when they were young, and then they'd found each other. When you live a life of uncertainty, one where your fortune can change as easily as the wind, with only one constant, you learn to keep your armour on, you learn to protect the thing close to you and your heart.

It still haunts them, the screams and the nightmares and the fears of too many men that aren't them, and the families of men who are dead, unknowingly waiting in Ithaca.

Eurylochus just sighs, pulling Polites into a tight hug, "We just gotta keep everyone else alive, that's all."

Polites laughs slightly, "Yeah. No pressure. Then we can go home."

"What was that song you always used to sing?" Eurylochus asks after a moment.

"Hmm?" Polites lifts his head off of his shoulder, looking up at Eurylochus, "This life is amazing..?"

"No the other one," Eurylochus can't quite remember how it went, "From before we met Odysseus and Elpenor and Perimedes. That one."

Polites smiles, "I remember." He pauses, "Gods, I was so happy to have a friend to run through the streets and climb the trees with back then."

"When it was just as simple as when our next meal would be and where we should wait out the rain and who we should avoid." Eurylochus laughs slightly, "I do rather miss causing problems in the market square with you, Songbird."

Polites joins in his laughter at that, "We only got worse when we met Perimedes and Elpenor, and then only a few years later the four of us met Ctimene and Odysseus and then it was even more simple and suddenly so complicated at the same time."

"Do you ever regret befriending Odysseus and Ctimene?" Eurylochus asks quietly.

Polites lets out a little humming noise, "I feel like." He pauses, choosing his words carefully, "Our lives would be a whole lot more easy, you know? But also what would we have ended up doing if we lived out our lives on the streets of Ithaca?"

"We wouldn't have the level of control over our lives that we have now." Eurylochus says. He's always needed that- that- level of control, as he phrased it, over the situation he is in. He panics otherwise, he hates being unable to keep the people around him safe, to not put his own opinions into a discussion.

It's why he hated the war, hated the kings all sat above them in their gold and jewels and fancy armour that didn't have a single scratch or dent, playing with their lives like pieces on a board, why he hated the whole situation with the cyclops, something bigger and stronger and more dangerous than him was hurting his friends, almost killed his partner, and Eurylochus couldn't do a damn thing about it.

It's why he hates how Odysseus plays with forces bigger than him, gods, monsters, wars. It's why he keeps getting angry at Odysseus, Odysseus who keeps putting everyone in danger, once again playing with them like toys, except this time they don't have the protection of a huge army around them, this time they're not facing simple men that they can fight, this time Odysseus is pitting them against monsters, and blaming everyone else when it goes wrong.

"Oh, I know the world’s not always pretty, and there's days that seem to last for way too long." Polites' voice breaks him out of his thoughts, quiet and full of emotions as he sings the lines of that old childhood song, "Oh, I know the world can get real lonely, and there are times you feel too hopeless to go on."

He smiles at Eurylochus again, and he can see that wild little kid that he befriended all those years ago, with the too-big glasses and uncut hair, grinning through the scars and sorrows of war and adult life.

"But hey there Eury, don’t you know, look deep inside and there you go! Hanging in your heart I’m always there!" Polites laughs slightly at the lyrics five year old him made up.

Eurylochus' smile widens, "And hey there 'Tes, can’t you see: no matter what, you still have me! So when you need a friend, or when you’re scared, just let me be your light!" He remembers that part at least, the memories are easier to dig up now that Polites has started singing.

"Let me be the stars you see at night," Polites waves a hand absentmindedly up at the ceiling of the room they're in, "Let me be the arms that hold you tight! When life gets hard or when you're lost in the dark let me be your light!"

Eurylochus laughs properly at Polites' vague gesture at the wooden planks above them, "Let me be your light." He echoes, ruffling the other's hair.

Polites yelps at the action, ducking out from under Eurylochus' arm and grabbing his hand in both of his, a bright smile on his face, "Do you remember when we would run through the market, looking for the best people to mess with?"

Eurylochus meets his gaze, "Oh, I remember the thrill and the fun!" He laughs. Maybe, just maybe, in this dark, hidden corner of the ship, they can just be Eurylochus and Polites, the kids who have no responsibilities holding them down, rather than Eurylochus and Polites, the king of Ithaca's best friends and second and third in command of the Ithacan army.

"Past me was smart." Polites grins.

Eurylochus pulls him back into a tight, playful hug, "Are we thinking about the same boy?" He asks, "The boy i fell in love with was rather clumsy and full of bad ideas, if I remember correctly! And he still is."

"Hey!" Polites is still laughing though, wriggling in Eurylochus' hold, "You can't say much, and I meant the song!"

Eurylochus is laughing too when they end up on the floor, "You were good at emotions." He concedes.

"And i was right!" Polites decides not to sit up, and instead stays lying on top of Eurylochus, "Don’t forget that even when the sun has set, hanging in your heart, I’m always there! And hey there Eury-" he taps Eurylochus' chest when he says 'heart', which Eurylochus thinks is absolutely adorable. If anyone ever says Polites is not just the sweetest, they can fight him.

Eurylochus joins in with the song, he's not the best at singing, but he always has enjoyed singing with Polites.

"Can’t you see no matter what, it’s you and me! So when you need a hand or when you’re scared, just let me be your light!"

They sing that line together before they both realise how this would probably look if one of the crew found them now, and they sit up. Eurylochus doesn't hesitate to ruffle Polites' hair again, earning him another affronted yelp.

"Let me be the stars you see at night." Eurylochus grins when he helps Polites to his feet, the other grabbing his staff.

"Let me be the arms that hold you tight!" Polites laughs, his dark eyes bright.

"When life gets hard or when you’re lost in the dark, let me be your light!" Their voices don't go all that well together either, but Eurylochus doesn't think either of them could care less about that, he certainly doesn't.

Maybe he's a little bit more ready to face the world. To face Odysseus and his twisting, manipulating words, to face whatever gods and monsters are thrown his way.

Eurylochus wears a smile when he steps out into the sunlight on the deck of the ship with Polites, and his eyes catch on a lush-looking, green island ahead of them, the first land they've seen since they saw Ithaca on the horison just before Eurylochus opened the bag after the persuasion and pressure from the crew and the voices in the wind.

Bring it on, he thinks, a grin on his face. Eurylochus has his little makeshift family, and what remains of the crew he needs to protect, and his sword, and Polites at his side. They're gonna be okay.

They're gonna be okay.

It's what he repeats when he steps onto the island and sees, really sees, how off it is, how bright the flowers are and how tame the animals seem to be.

We're gonna be okay.

It's what he chants in his head when he sees the palace in the little valley, when he watches the witch turns half their crew into pigs.

We have to be okay.

Hello again! If your still here! And yes i promise the nicknames have reasoning other than i have a condition where any character i ever like gets a nickname related to either birds or flowers! Am i gonna tell you? Not right now. I will at a future date when i shouldnt be sleeping and i can formulate thoughts properly! Probably!

Okayyyy byeeee :D have a nice week everyone i cant tell you when ill be back sooo HAVE NICE DAYS BE HAPPY YOU GUYSSS✨

[artaxlivs]

My Masterlist of Steddie (Stranger Things) fics:

Which came first? The chicken or the scrambled egg? - Rated E - Wayne invites "Eddie's boyfriend" to join them for breakfast instead of hiding in Eddie's room. The problem is, Steve doesn't know Eddie's even gay

Bend & *Snap*: Rated E - Just Eddie trying to figure out how to flirt with the UPS guy and Gareth giving some banger advice (The podifc is here)

I Could Eat a Peach for Hours: Rated E - Just Eddie thirsting after Steve as he sticks things in his mouth. (The podfic is here)

HomeSteddie Farms: Rated T - Steve and Eddie had a farm and on this farm were a bunch of critters with awesome names.

End of the Beginning: Rated T - Eddie gets a do over and finds himself in the Upsidedown with Will. Can they save everyone this time?

Do You Hear What I Hear?: Rated T - Steve brings home a mogwai, Eddie's never been good with rules

Nobody's Baby: Rated E - Steddie Dirty Dancing AU Steve & Robin best friends, Eddie & Chrissy best friends, 80s movie campiness, light BDSM, traffic light system for dancing and sex.

Like a Mythical Virgin: Rated M - Eddie finds out the hard way that feral unicorns don't chase virgins for nice reasons (The podfic is here)

Let Me Be Your Man (i want to hold your hand): Rated E - Mike gets help from Steve with making a mixtape for Will. Eddie learns that there's an art to mixtapes. mike/steve bonding, laughter, fluff, little pining. (The podfic is here)

Destroy the Silence (Drummer Steve) - Rated E - Steve joins the band and Eddie discovers he has a thing for competent drummers, healthy bdsm communication, laughter, fluff & smut. (The podfic is here)

Off the Shelf - Rated E - Stripper Steve give Eddie a private show. Eddie discovers a new kink. Modern AU, basically porn with a smidge of plot.

Screw Todd, Steve's Her (His) Daddy Now - Rated E - Steve keeps calling himself Daddy "unintentionally" and Eddie's about to lose it, light bdsm, non verbal communication, daddy kink (or is it?)

The Second Worst Trip to Mordor Ever Taken - Rated T - Steve takes the boys & Eddie to Indy to a nerd store and flirts his way into trouble, Steddie, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings (Podfic is here)

Even Flowers Have Their Dangers (Series: No One Is Alone)- Rated E - What if the tunnels turned Steve & the kids into shapeshifting wolves? S4 rewrite and my own write up of S5 but with half the party as shapeshifters, smut, graphic imagery, battle scenes

There’s Something Wrong With Steve - Rated M - I’m not gonna tell you, Steddie, Suspense thriller, creep factor - 80s horror movie

Let the Music Play -Series - Rated T - The music that plays every time Steve gets Vecna’d, Stobin besties, Steddie pre relationship, hurt/comfort (Podfic)

An Accidental Flogging - Rated E - Steve has questions about Eddie’s kinks, Eddie would like to have answers but he’s actually a virgin, friends to lovers, Top Steve, accidental kink discovery, laughter, fluff, & smut

Drabbles that aren't full fics: Happy Summer, Steve's Thighs, i was afraid to follow, Personal Space, can you read the letter for me (Part two), Pillow Talk, Steddie First Kiss Challenge, Constellations, Artax is a New Horse, To Do List, Uptown Boy, Boyfriends Now,

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good

Rottmnt Fanfic Summary: "Leo!? Leo!" Mikey was screaming, and he flinched at how scared his little brother sounded. The innate need to comfort him kicked in, and Leo stepped forward, holding out his arms to him invitingly, smiling to let him know everything was alright. “Hey, Mikey, what’s wrong-” Mikey didn’t open his arms to hug him back. Mikey ran through him. Leo is cursed by a mystic whatever thingy. But don't worry guys, he's totally got this! Getting back into his body? Easy peasy. (He hopes it will be easy peasy.)

I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is competed, and is written by @dandylovesturtles, so go show them some love and support!!

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Plot is five out of five!! Oh man, the plotline for this fic is so unique, has many suspenseful moments, and is just so well done!! Not only does this fic follow a plot featuring the Hamato's, it also features new villains, and a secondary plot!! Two plots in one fic, wrapped up to become one!!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Suspense/Mystery is five out of five!! Oh gosh, the suspense!! Especially the first few chapters, as those ones are completely chock full of suspense!! Then, later on, more mystery seeps into the storyline as more of the villains pertaining to the plot make themselves known."

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Angst/Hurt is four out of five!! The angst in this fic goes somewhat like a roller-coaster. In the beginning, its crazy high, then during the middle, it mellows out a bit, then right at the end, BAM!! More angst!! But it turns out being happy in the end ^^ Though the hurt factor is consistent throughout the entire fic."

Fluff/Comfort: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Fluff/Comfort is three out of five!! The only reason why fluff/comfort is lower, is because there is just genuinely less of it until later chapters. Though once the comfort happens, oh man its some good comfort!"

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Emotions Conveyed is three out of five!! The beginning of the story, as in the first few chapters, and the ending few chapters are the most intense, and will probably punch you in the feels the worst."

Drama/Tension Level: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Drama/Tension Level is five out of five!! Easily, there is so much drama and tension in this fic. Most if not all the drama surrounds Leo and his condition(s), and a huge portion of the tension is from the other Hamato brothers as they struggle their way through the whole thing."

Triggers: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Triggers are three out of five!! Once again, the most intense parts are the first few chapters, and the last few. Some of the main triggers to keep an eye out for are; Brief assumption of sibling death, derealization, desensitization, panic attacks, violence, overstimulation, (TW SPOILERS) talk of pulling the plug, i.e. removing life support from a loved one, PTSD flashbacks/mind manipulation, mental abuse. Remember, read the tags, and stay safe!!"

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Reading) is five out of five!! Excellent read!! It flows well, doesn't have any strange text, has really nice section breaks, and is overall nice and smooth!!"

Legibility (Audio):💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Audio) is five out of five! Same as I said above!! This fic is wonderful regardless of being read, or listened to!"

Length: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Length is three out of five!! I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good is completed, has a word count of 124.5k words, and a chapter count of 17 chapters!"

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I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good: Chapter List

(Chapters will be added as I rate and appraise them ^^)

(Yet to be added)