#it's such a useless answer

[onespacedown]

Pet peeve: when the restaurant menu doesn't list soft drinks, so I ask the waiter, and they just say "we have [brand] products".

[teaboot]

"Do audio books count as reading" is such a stupid fucking question, it's not even the right question

Like

"Does listening to text read aloud qualify as visually recognizing the individual characters of written language?"

No

"Does listening to text read out loud qualify as receiving the information contained within written language?"

Yes

"Does listening to text read aloud qualify as experiencing the arbitrarily determined level of suffering that I personally think someone should have to experience before they can add a piece of text to their resume, like a trophy for "best martyr" in a cabinet dedicated to calculating intellectual status?"

Go fuck yourself

[rooniearts]

Will Shadow ever ask Sonic to look after little Shadow? Or only if there are NO other options AT ALL?

Not only does Shadow not want Sonic to have anything to do with his kid out of principle alone, Sonic doesn't want to deal with a baby either. He doesn't understand how to interact with him or what he wants at any given moment, he doesn't really do well with all the being reliable and stationary that taking care of a small child requires, and that's not even touching on the whole chores and responsibility thing. So outside of times where there is literally no other option, both Shadow and Sonic are more than happy with the latter keeping his distance.

That being said, as Silver grows and becomes more independent, and starts being able to run around, play and express his own wants and opinions, Sonic would absolutely LOVE to hang out with that kid.

He's still not big on actually babysitting, but he'll 100% tag along with someone else babysitting and just generally go out of his way to hang out and play. He's still under intense scrutiny from Shadow, but what else is new lol.

Their favourite thing to do is race, which Sonic is always too competitive to not style on 6 year old over, but luckily Silver likes the challenge. Who knows, maybe one day he'll be able to finally beat his coolest uncle at his own game fair and square <3

[facts-i-just-made-up]

facts about you please

"You Please" is a 1978 novel by Frank Mutterbruder about a hypersexual woman's growing lust for an artist who is only interested in her as a model. The story concerns her attempts to seduce him as they grow more and more outlandish and dangerous. The book's graphic sexuality and implied cannibalism caused it to be banned in several states, though the publisher, Grovemeat Press, appealed and won at the federal level.

Mutterbruder was likely inspired by his older friend, Frankie Powers-Jovani, a famous gay artist known for his Tom-Of-Finland style works depicting men in leather with large, round muscles and other bulging parts. Powers-Jovani had worked with a model, assumed by some to be Bettie Page (though no evidence of this exists) on an unreleased series, said to have been destroyed by either Frankie or the model upon their feud.

The book departs from reality however when its protagonist, Jessica Jellie, creates a love potion to make her artist friend love her back. She mixes the potion wrong and accidentally creates a fluid capable of melting men into a delicious putty. After killing the artist, she begins melting other men and serving the putty as a sort of cake fondant that she sells under the name of "Manzipan."

Frank Mutterbruder died in 1982 when he was himself melted into putty during the Pittsburgh Play-Dough Calamity. His novel has gone largely ignored until recently, when Yorgos Lanthimos optioned it with Emma Stone to play Jessica Jellie and Colin Farrell as artist Yakov Geww.

The original printing of the novel "You Please" also won the Albert A. Gore Award for Most Recyclable Paper, but this is generally considered irrelevant to its literary significance.

[ffcrazy15]

There's this way of doing female-ness in Christianity that I call "pastel flower journal Christianity." I've got nothing against pastel flower journals per se, but for some reason people believe it's the end all and be all of female spirituality, and I think it's a real disservice towards young Christian women.

One of these days I'd like to start a prayer-and-reading group or something for young women, but there would be no floral themes or over-focus on how "God thinks you're beautiful even if the world doesn't" (a true statement, but it's wayyyyy too often the focus in women's spiritual reading). Instead we would be reading:

Seneca's Letters from a Stoic

Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning

Sheed's A Map of Life

Portions of Pieper's book on leisure

Kreeft's Three Philosophies of Life

Guardini's The Lord (or something similar)

Therese's Story of a Soul

and some select portions of the Nicomachean Ethics.

(Also they're all getting the porn talk. I don't know why we give the porn talk to young men but not young women. There's this idea that women don't use porn and they only need the talk about "guarding their heart." Bullshit. There's porn on the YA shelves of Barnes and Nobles and before that there were bodice rippers. Young women need the porn talk too.)

Every young woman needs to be getting a basic grounding in virtue ethics, logic, natural law, scholastic philosophy and Biblical hermeneutics if they're going to get by in today's spiritual landscape. Enough faffery and emotionalism in young women's spiritual education! Give them real food to chew on, not pasty sentimentalism!

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[canisalbus]

Hey, so, at the risk of being viewed as a filthy fucking degenerate, when do we see your tastelessly cropped art? I uh... wanna see a priest getting his ass torn to shreds... and I'm not sure if I'm ashamed of that fact...

I'm flattered you asked, but at the time I just can't say for sure. Twitter's downfall kind of paralyzed my willpower to share nsfw art publicly, not that I was particularly active on that front to begin with. The system I had there worked well for me, but now the whole place is circling the drain and I'm trying to find a replacement.

Bsky allows mature content which is great, and their filtering system seems to work well, but they don't have the option to make your account private (and from what I've heard they don't intend to make that a feature). At the moment the idea of any random passerby getting to waltz in and witnessing a priest getting his ass torn to shreds instantly accessing my more risque (and usually deeply personal) works makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I'd like to have at least some semblance of control over who I let into that space, and an effective way to keep some others out.

[nataliescatorccio]

plotholes in season 4 i really don't understand now i've digested the season please feel free to explain or add your own:

- sparrow academy and especially sloane just being forgotten, luther just seeming to magically get over his wife disappearing and not fighting in any way shape or form to find her or get back to a timeline with her in it - especially as they show discovery of the phoenix academy you think five would mention that a timeline with sloane must exist out there - ben being teased on the subway train at the end of season 3 but just??? never showing up??? was that an alternative timeline? - allison doing everything last season motivated by the idea of being able to get to claire and ray only for ray to apparently leave her with zero elaboration as to why or what happened - making fatphobic jokes towards diego but actually he takes his shirt off and is still ripped as fuck? - upon regaining their powers luther getting his ape body back which??? literally had nothing to do with his marigold related powers it was because of an accident on a previous timeline? - lila getting laser beam eye powers seemingly from nowhere, but it's not as if this was ever addressed because she could still mimic powers (see: her using five's time travel ability) - very limited use of powers, there were a few cool moments in episode 2 but ultimately it felt like there was no need to even get them back as they rarely showcased them (with the exception of five's getting them stuck) - klaus throwing his marigold onto a passing man but this never getting any exploration - never explaining why jennifer was in a giant squid - never explaining why jennifer got locked up in a safe - ben apparently never discussing with klaus how he died??? - ben and jennifer not realising that the entire motel had blown up around them including murdering flocks of birds and staff when they checked out? - entire five/lila plotline but also five figuring out how to leave and not saying anything when he has always been the first to want to get back and protect his family - lila apparently hating bracelets despite the fact that diego making lila a bracelet and it keeping them linked was such a big plotpoint it was used as a teaser in previous seasons (and the bead bracelet just disappearing) - lila being so intent on saving her family and the kids by sending them to the subway and on an alternative timeline but only one 'true' timeline can survive anyway which would erase the subway - the kids existing when the parents that created them don't - the entire show being for nothing in that the umbrellas do not even exist anymore

[demaparbat-hp]

YOOOO DEMA YOU LIKE ARCANE???!! omg who's your favorite character??? and favorite moment(s) from s1??? (and fav ship too 👀 👀) will you draw for Arcane in the future???? (peak show with peak art =perfection, just saying)

Anon, you have the. Best. Timing. Ever. I literally just finished an Arcane artstyle study with Katara of the Undercity as a subject!

My favorite Arcane character is and forever shall be Ekko (best boy). Other faves are Viktor (chronic illness baby) and Jinx (trauma gremlin).

As for the S1 scene... Besides the finale and that breathtaking Guns for Hire sequence? The Ekko/Jinx fight from ep 7. It broke me. (And turned me into a Timebomb shipper. Which was arguably worse.)

[hg-aneh]

wyd if azira and crow show up at ur house and ask you to help them save the world

laugh and close the door

[corvid-language-library]

A lot of my colleagues comment on how good my Japanese is because I can use interjections pretty well despite the fact my actual speaking is garbage. I always know when to say "えっ" and "やばい" and "え〜そうなの" and "いえいえいえ" and "そっか" and "そうだね" and every single time they're like "wow! You're like a native speaker!" and I'm like okay but I can't form an actual sentence that's more than 4 words long and if you make me use grammar my brain will catch fire

[wisteriasymphony]

Ever talked about the "Adrien as Marinette's malewife/stay at home husband" headcanon? If no, what's your thoughts on it?

I had another plan for how I was gonna respond to this at first, but I realized that I had a convo with the lovely anna-scribbles some time ago that covers this already!

Suffice to say, I think playing it 'straight and shallow' often runs counter to what could be a satisfying conclusion to Adrien learning to exercise his own agency, so if the malewifery is something that he chooses, it's something that's also damaging him. Perhaps intentionally, as the screenshot above proposes, but it could also be unintentional.

That's not to say that I don't think Adrien would enjoy malewife activities or even doing stuff in service of his wife—Quite the opposite, actually. Adrien to me feels like a person who's heavily internalized this idea that he needs to be a resource/be useful in order to be loved, and so if he learned how to clean and cook properly he would try and monopolize all those chores in order to prove to himself that he isn't a waste of space.

[erodingsinner]

HANNIBAL S01E02 | CHICAGO ( 2002 )

[kings-highway]

Oikawa: You know, it's hard carrying the weight of being the best captain. After all, I'm the only team captain who's also a setter - captain and conductor, if you will.

Moniwa, clawing his way out from the back of the crowd: Am I just a joke to you?

Oikawa: Do you want me to answer that question?

Yuzuru, being hoisted up on Hyakuzawa's shoulders: STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE!

Oikawa: NONE OF YOU ARE RELEVANT.

Bokuto: Haha I don't have this problem, tons of team captains are wing spikers. I love my wing spiker gang! We have me... and daishou... and and terushima... and the new Date Tech Cap, Futakuchi. Oh! And of course Daichi-

Daichi: woah woah woah, I might be a wing spiker but you just listed exclusively outsides. I play opposite. I know you guys tend to think of us as second fiddle, but I'm proud of my position.

Ushijima: nodding along seriously

Bokuto: Tomatoes or whatever. The point is none of us are alone! Being a captain is difficult work no matter the position we play, even if having someone who understands your specific challenges does make it a lot easier.

Oikawa: Weirdly astute, coming from you. Alright you two weirdo freaks, get over here, let me hear what you have to say.

Moniwa & Yuzuru, regretting slightly asking to be involved:

Bokuto, pulling out his phone to text Akaashi and find out what "astute" means:

Kuroo, fluffed up and hissing in the doorway: MiDdLeS fOrGoTtEn AgAiN.

[ganondoodle]

did you hear about that the zelda notes finally explained what happened to the sheikah tech in totk? a voice memory describes that after the events of botw and link defeating calamity ganon, all the sheikah technology and divine beasts started to crumble and turn to dust, and that the first one to break down was Vah Ruta as seen in the secret ending of botw, the only thing of sheikah tech that remains are replicas made by robbie and purah, it also implies the guardian on top of robbies lab is a replica.

im sure you mean well anon but, risking sounding like i am negativity in person and wont take any answer as an answer- i think that 1. doesnt change anything 2. was clearly an afterthought or ... them scrambling to try and sound like they totally planned it all from the start after, to them unexpectedly apparently, realizing people actually cared about things (its still bad even if they did plan that ..)

just vanishing and crumbling to dust are really the same thing if you ask me, its just like describing something exploding as an "unexpected rapid dismembering" (or however they called spacex rockets blowing up lol), vah ruta stopping to work after the end of botw was, imo, much more logical to mean, well their pilot is gone (as the champions spirit disappear supposedly permanently (though you cant be sure now about that either now i guess huh RAURU??HMM??? mister uuuh aaahh totoally goneeeee much tragiqué woops wait i need to deus ex machina your girlfriend and take back my arm)) and with them the one .. to pilot them plus possibly their power source as well (that 'theory' just makes too much sense)

if you think about it it still doesnt make it any better, the stuff in totk being replicas? welll ... obviously they were newly built stuff (off the little there is left...), and replica sounds like a copy when none of the stuff they have there is an actual copy aside from maybe the terminals to get into a tower? also how and when did they do that?? the knowledge about the tech was largely lost and i dont think alot of time passed between the end of botw and the extra scene- why wouldnt they copy guardians or anythign else more useful? the guardian on top of the hateno institute was extremely clearly a super old one, it was unfunctional and overgrown strapped to the roof in botw already- purahs stone thingy and all lanterns and sources of energy went poof too (WHERE DO THEY GET THE POWER FROM NOW?????????????????????????????????????????????), idk if the easter egg prototype titan is still there but that and cherry would be the only thing i can think of that they might have built during the 100 years they had to built stuff in botw (AND CHERRY IS GONE TOO instead a tiny version of her that what, is a shop to get your photos at????????? what?????), and now they just suddendly can built massive things? did they also find out what powers it and how and managed to built a secret replica of a fireborn (idk the english name, the flaming source) that you cant ever find (i cant check i dont have the game anymore but i dont remember a flame or otherwise sourcing thingy in the spypost- not that it would matter, its shiekah tech after all, bleurgh, we got sonau "tech" nowww) and then choose to built pretty useless stuff at that? wouldnt it have been more sensical to preserve the lasers and automations of guardians or something isntead of ... a tower that flings link, and only link mind you, into the air? to scan the ground in an very dangerous manner that is also just miles more stupid and inefficient than the previous towers????? like couldnt add to a tower to scan upwards also??????

the old problems remain! why the hell would everythign crumble or vanish? it lasted for over 10 thousand fucking years with no power either exposed to the elements or dug underground and now it just goes up in flames withtin what, a day? it remains a "woah didnt think anyone would care to ask that lol just uuuuh *makes up shit on the spot*" answer

the ooooh clamgan was defeated excuse doesnt work any better with this as it did before, if ganondorf was not connected to clamgan (which is stupid) and it 'crumbles to dust' when clamgan is defeated it should have done so in the og battle 10k years ago! if he IS connected to it why the fuck would it go away now?????? he is still there???????

and im also asking why would all of shiekah tech just crumble away into literally nothing when the stupid sonau(zonai) shit is like, largely in prime condition even though that is supposedly even OLDER (i guess the sonau are jsut that much cooler uwu their stuff lasts forever or until its timer runs out lmao and is much better anywayyyy)

this is not an attack against you anon, but i dont believe this bullshit, they are trying to stitch up holes they dug themselves and you cant get out of anymore no matter how much they roll around in it bc they didnt account for people to actually fukcing care, or, if they did plan this (which i do not believe) it STILL SUCKS and makes no sense and really .. jsut means that it really was this stupid and meaningless as it feels now from the start. they dont want you to think about it, they can say whatever they want and expect you to swallow it. they dont care.

i suppose the jokes on us, the shiekah were able to see the future and knew they would be replaced by a totally always there and also totally better version of all their stuff thats actually worse but with a totally no overused new paint job so they thoughtfully added a best before date on all botw relevant shiekah things and we all know that a day over it means it molds and dissolves in your very hands before you can even put it in the trashcan.

uwu.

[sakuraluck]

lol confirmation that ivan didn’t see till hesitated before running back. do you think he would have died so willingly if he knew that there was a chance that till could’ve chosen him?

ivan’s the kind of guy to pine over someone for two decades with full knowledge that his feelings won’t be reciprocated. if he knew that till had hesitated back then, do you think he would’ve made a second attempt to escape before/during this round?

maybe… now that mizi’s out of the way…

that kind of thought?

do you think that kind of hope would’ve motivate him to try harder to live? knowing that somewhere in till’s heart, ivan had a space there too. and that if he died, he would also be giving him trauma like sua to mizi?

do you think till knew ivan smiled at him so gently and achingly soft before he died? that he let go of till of his own volition and not because he lost strength? or does he think ivan wanted to kill him at the end?

when he opened his eyes and saw ivan falling, do you think ivan’s smile confused him?

do you think he’ll be wracked with survivor’s guilt after this as well? wishing ivan had finished what he started and killed him. do you think till will realize how much ivan loved him even till the end or will he think that even the one person who cared for him eventually hated him?