#its a crab bucket

[butch-bakugo]

Not to be an ass but yeah...

This lesbian was assaulted.... This trans woman was found dead.... Bi women get beat up on trains and are more likely to be hurt by their male partners than straight women..... This trans man died defending lesbians in germany.... These gay men are in camps in russia... This nonbinary person was killed.....

Amazing how you hear about violence aginest gay and trans people but i litterally cant find a single vetted article that shows violence aginest aro/ace pple for "aphobia". Like its always these excuses;

Aroaces face corrective rape! the "corrective rape" was not corrective and happend because the aroace person said no to sex and it was just mysogny because the aro/ace person was afab n would you look at that, the rapist was a cis man. Thats mysogny. Not to mention 80% of aro/ace people are cis women, trans men and afab nonbinary people aka the people raised litterally taught from birth that sex is not something for them to enjoy and they exist to please.

Doctors consider lack of sexual/romantic attraction to be a symptom instead of an orientation! Because lacking the desire for sex and relationships is a hallmark sign of trauma, abuse and mental illness. Its litterally symptom #1 to struggle with sex and commitment when your traumatized and ive litterally never met a not-traumatized aro/ace. I know this because im a traumatized aro/ace and no, "aphobia" isnt traumatic. Honestly, even if your aro/ace as a result of trauma, thats valid, just make sure your healing and that your honest about it.

Well, when i wore my ace pin, someone called me a queer! Thats a sign that me, being cisgender and heteroromantic asexual, am really queer! Experiencing misplaced oppression at the hands of homophobic and transphobic people dosent suddenly make you gay or trans. Also, they dont know what any of the flags mean so why tf would they care that you dont fuck unless its Tuesday? They just assume all little pins with a bunch of colored stripes mean child groomer gay pedo tranny, not demiaroace or wtf ever. They litterally only hate you because they assume you fuck the same gender or dont identify as ur brith sex. Thats it. It also dosent help that you go running around saying "im SOOO gay" and "im such a dirty little queer." When you are neither. When you say ur gay, they are gonna think ur gay. If they know ur cis and het and dont have sex, they dont give a fuck.

Well, your theory falls apart that aro/aceness is mostly brought on by trauma and mysogny when trans women, amab enbies and cis man aro/aces exist! Ok, you still havent disproven my point because 1. transfems and amab enbies usually have gender dysphoria which, speaking from my own experiences, complicates sex and makes it harder. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness and unless you bring to me 5 examples of cis het men who identify as aroace, you dont get to use them as a gotcha. Ive been gay for almost 10 years and ive still never met one, online or irl.

I also never stated that aro/aceness was purely brought on by trauma/mental illness and mysogny, its something that can just naturally happen. Ive just never seen it genuinely happen. Usually the person has trauma/mental illness or is afab or is trans or all three. All of these things, according to proven psychology, can affect the sex drive, attraction and desire for committed relationships.

Thats why every aro/ace you see is either really young and in pain, still healing from trauma or is older and admits to holding on out of spite or admit that its trauma related. There are always gonna be exceptions but unless those excepts make up more than 25% of a thing, im not considering it something totally stand alone. Its also why every ex-aro/ace carries the same story: they identified with it when they were younger and healing from some traumatic shit, they got older and got help, they healed and magically they werent adverse to sex and relationships. That dosent happen with gay pple or trans pple usually. Like 70% of today's aro/ace people are allo 5 years later. If not 5, then 90% by 10 yrs. If not 10, then 99% by 20 yrs.

Its not a coincidence. Adversity towards sex and relationships usually has a foot in the graves of social oppression, trauma/abuse and mental illness. Usually once someone feels empowered by their minority status, heals from their trauma and copes with their mental illnesses, they arnt aro/ace anymore. I speak from experience watching pple i knew when i was 13 go from traumatized and a "romance and sex repulsed" aroace transmasc nonbinary kid who hates allos and gags at sex scenes to being 20 and seeing them all just be ur average bisexual transmasc nonbinary person who kisses and fucks like everybody else. They might throw an arospec or acespec label in their like demi- or -flux but its usally just labels that mean that they are normal person who dosent fuck on sight or isnt always thinking about sex.

Im not saying that every incident of aro/aceness is a result of trauma/abuse, mental illness and bigotry but i am saying that coming to terms with that shit usually makes someone less aro/ace. Im also mentioning how many times ive seen aro/ace people throw out excuse after excuse and label after label that all boil down to telling someone to stop getting therapy and just identify as this because "all labels are vaild and inate to you. You'll always be this." Then they mob you when you get help and openly say your not aroace anymore and ur labled a "traitor" who "wasnt an actual aroace and is just a troll" cause you dare to talk about rhw toxicity and fandomization the aroace communities suffer from. I know this cause im aroace and i dont touch those communities with a 10ft pole. Aint happening. I see a person with a demigreyromantic pin and i turn the other way hopeing to got they didnt see my aro one cause i refuse to talk to pple like that.

The definitions of romance and sex are fluid for a reason and just because you think you dont fit the societal definition of a "average amount of sexual and romantic attraction" dosent mean ur right about society and dosent make you akiocupioangleddemiaroacefluxspike, i promise. All these bajillion labels fall apart the moment you mention that its completely natural for a human's desire for sex and romantic partnership is supposed to fluxuate over the course of your life and multiple things influence it. Im not opposed to microlabels and sexuality modifiers and other things people do in an attempt to find community with others who have the same experiences as them and i never have but what i am saying is that little shit like that dosent oppress you on a societal scale and never has and to think critically about yourself and others to understand that what your feeling isnt always the truth and emotions can betray you.

You arent always a trustworthy person and its always best to make long term decisions on a full stomache, a mid mood, in clean clothes and plenty of energy with enough time to be sure. Quick decisions can fuck you up and the amount of spite and toxicity coming from the aroace communities when you even so much as glance critically at them is worth a few months of deliberation before you go in full speed. Just dont come crying to the normal aroaces when you hit a brick wall 5 ft in and get bombarded with cishet sob stories of people who lost their partner cause they didnt disclose their aroace status, cupcakes and dragons, the gay dads kicked me out copypasta and a bajillion people claiming that their oppressed with their only sources being "trust me bro" and " how dare you question my experiences". If you arnt 100% informed, ur on a hundred blocklists just for mentioning that you dont like the ace flag or some meaningless shit like that.

Trust me, dont bother.

[knockknockknockingonhootysdoor]

quick doodle bc i havent been able to draw in a bit and i just saw atsv and i have too many drawing ideas and no time to do them. so pls enjoy silly...( u_u;)7

[archietransdrews]

oh i also meant to make this post earlier in the week but unfortunately i DID read the jason/jughead fic again and the thing about that pairing is like. you know the trixie anecdote about how there was exactly one (1) out gay kid at her high school and so that kid got tons of action because he was the only one closeted boys could go to to hook up without fear of being outed? anyway jughead is that but for Kids In Riverdale Who Are Having a Bad Time.

like jughead's whole emo loner deal is pretty textually about disillusionment with 'the town with pep;' he has experienced poverty, domestic violence, homelessness, etc. and at some point became unwilling to put a happy face on those experiences. his line about not fitting in and not wanting to fit in gets at this; that he sees all of riverdale as essentially phony and has no interest in putting on the same performance. ANYWAY.

all this to say that if you are a kid who by all appearances is fine but is actually suffering acutely, jughead is a person who even if you are only seeing him in passing in the hallways at school stands out as a possible ally, someone you could go to who would understand. when jughead later says of jason something to the effect of 'he chose me because i was an outsider,' i read it to mean this; that jason looked to everyone around him like a kid for whom riverdale was equivalent to paradise; he was rich, football captain, had an apparently loving family and a perfect girlfriend. all of these trappings of success and happiness obscured the horrifying violence taking place just beneath the surface. there was nowhere he could turn; he didn't think anyone would believe that such a charmed life could be so painful; he looked around for anyone at all who knew that riverdale wasn't what it seemed to be, and saw jughead.

[bugdogg]

im trying to learn stuff rn

[nudibutch]

my crab in a bucket video got flagged lol

[weebsinstash]

Crazy, absolutely insane how the people being replaced by robots thing is starting to actually happen. Writers, artists, translators... Something seen in science fiction media and talked about for ages is becoming a reality is freaking terrifying. Holy shit. I used to brush this type of thing off as some futuristic fiction trope, but the fact the artist AI is already damaging real artists does not feel real. Robot apocalypse might be a possibility. Wild.

Not to sound like a boomer but like yeah basically. ai making concept art, ai music, ai art making nfts, ai writing, actors acting in front of a greenscreen completely alone for their entire movie never even told the context of the scenes or even what movies they're going in, people still arguing that "real jobs" are a thing and advocate for millions being replaced by automation, all the while the excessive environmental damage, the waste, the overproduction, the consumerism, the new release of the exact same shit next year but only minor tweaking so the patent is fresh, price gouging, just

it's hard for me to not be constantly depressed in general, I'm really just constantly getting stoned and using escapism and some probably definitely maladaptive daydreaming to cope. I like to think I've written novels and novels mentally but I guess there's just a persistent air of, hopelessness that I feel isn't just in my life but im my environment and community and just, all of us as a whole that kind of sucks out my motivation from doing anything that takes mild effort.

Like I know I'm kind of jumping from ai art to societal issues/corporate greed but like for example, i reconnected recently with a friend i used to know online like 10 years ago and he basically reached out because, covid was hell and he had some people die and a lot of people are anxious and lonely right now, and we are both those people so, he invited me to come visit. And something that happened to him is that he used to paint and he loved painting and one day at his job, his shithead bastard boss built his own scaffolding to stand on and it collapsed, and a bar swung out and hit my friend in the elbow and gave him permanant nerve damage in his arm and hand and he now has extremely limited use of that limb, period, can no longer paint, even holding his fingers in such a way is painful

It just breaks me. It breaks me how so many of us feel so trapped and unhappy and how when some of us finally achieve some sort of happiness, someone with more power ruins it. Other people just damaging your life, your dreams, gone, and you didn't even do anything, it wasn't even in your control. I dunno. I am a diagnosed doom and gloomer but I guess ever since I was a really young I always felt like people were treated so replaceable and disposable and now I'm an adult and it just kind of chills me that holy shit if I picked up on that as a 1996 baby how hopeless does the current young generation feel. Like I could write paragraphs like some manic crackhead about how worried about shit I am lmao 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[crowned-ladybug]

It's October and people draw things in October, but I couldn't get myself to sit down for anything serious, so instead observe: the situation @22ratonthestreet and I have found ourselves in these past couple days

[woodfrogs]

im trying to nap but i cant because i can overhear my mom being radicalized in the living room

[dankovskaya]

Well, how did you on the cross platform Beta? Did you brought honor to our household?

It's a horror show in there all of the upper floor bitches are stuck in like floors 4-6 because they are mostly just fighting other people who are basically as good as they are and also trying to get back up and therefore are also stuck. I can't imagine what its like for. People who are actually supposed to be on those floors let alone people who just started playing bc its free 😭

[1ore]

on one hand, the misinfo about content labels makes me sad because this is so clearly (to me) a baby step towards relaxing ye olde pornban (probably not completely but to an extent, too soon to know.) on the other, its very funny and very sad to see people dying on the hill of whatever website they're married to, even if its a dumpster fire in the same way or completely new and deranged ways. also yeah whats that post thats like. we gotta do something to keep the property values down around here

[snekdood]

why do ppl you barely know or interact with at all think you give a huge fuck about interacting with them?

[atlantus]

I am a self employed business owner and I only made $14238 and so I had to pay $1211 in federal taxes and I think I could explode because I know billionaires are evading millions in taxes but I have to pay $1211. I feel like I'm ready to put some heads in some baskets. Let's pull the guillotine out the garage. $1211!!! Out of $14238!!!! That's just too much. Like what? We gotta raise the minimum deduction or something idk this is crazy how are people expected to start their own small businesses when the threshold is so low? This feels impossible.

[puerifungorum]

the gender politics going on in romeo and juliet is very much not what's going on with these guys. but i thought the combination of vulgar humor and a focus on violence and dominance was pretty appropriate for them. so here's a comic!

[fchsadfa]

Catch this turning into a vent blog

*barely restrained rant about marketing and portfolio week*

[thatbitchery]

& ladies remember outside your leveling up circles if anyone asks you eat at the drive thru, it's burger & fries, you prefer sweatpants and spend your time watching Turkish Thai dramas and your sexual orientation is pretty kpop boys. Your goal in life is to get married and stay at home and your hobbies are flip flops and watching gmmtv, you're the most basic average Jane there is out there you just dress up because mom makes you. What have we said about keeping your competition feeling safe? In competitive environments so school and office and your local communities and especially your family you're couch potato potato so you're not available because new series just dropped- do you want to cause unnecessary friction? Keep your level up to yourself and your level up groups people are herds herds herds with that crabby crabba crab mentality so any sign you could leave the herd behind is a trigger to Crabb crabbb crabby pull you back into the bucket. Human beings are animals before they are people when will you understand this? Why would you scream in the face of a tiger? Do you want to get bullied? What happened to moving in silence.

Keep your workouts out of social media and your trips to the dermatologist to yourself, your paycheck is between you and your bank and stay away from the brands unless everyone in your group is wearing them so brands are just the average. Why would you sabotage yourself like that? Why would you go telling anyone your goals? Do you want to get laughed at? Haven't you learned your lesson? Hasn't your mother, your own mom, judged you for wanting to be better? Even though you're not in competition? Then why would you tell Betty from HR when it's literally the most competitive environment out there? Do you want to ostracize yourself? Then don't create drifts with your herd and level up in the shadows, when your current friends see you eating healthier its omg lol why? Then the answer is actually I took a blood test, autoimmune diseases are around the corner you don't know how badly I need McDonald's rn but life first. You're dressing elegant lately- girl stop my mom is insufferable she's making me these conservatives please. You look nicer- I'm on birth control, I had that acne issue. I feel the weight creeping up lol. You're taking more classes? Gosh yes there's this scholarship thing I need so you know. Your posture is better lately- baby girl stop my back was on fire last week leave me alone I was dying like- it's never because you're bettering yourself. Never. Ever. As long as they're concerned couch potato potati potata average Janey.

Human societies are competitive in nature especially among women because resources are so scarce and we know this and herd mentality makes us detest people that place themselves in positions to have better access to these so once you start getting better its underhanded compliments and what's app groups and side glances as you walk, learn to keep people comfortable and do you in the background, don't buy into whatever self soothing we are all good people bs you're being sold, we are only as supportive as you're below us once you start doing better your own sister and best friend have a lot to say. Move in silence & keep your life away from public view and have believable excuses for what you can't always hide & find a way to say you're better than me. Why cause unnecessary friction?

[herbgerblin]

its so funny how every till death do us blart episode starts with “hey gang? I hate this, can we stop this?” and then they don’t because they’re all binding each other in some sort of sisyphean crab bucket hellscape of mediocre film watching. like it doesn’t have to be this way but no one can pull the trigger