#but im litterally not

[butch-bakugo]

Not to be an ass but yeah...

This lesbian was assaulted.... This trans woman was found dead.... Bi women get beat up on trains and are more likely to be hurt by their male partners than straight women..... This trans man died defending lesbians in germany.... These gay men are in camps in russia... This nonbinary person was killed.....

Amazing how you hear about violence aginest gay and trans people but i litterally cant find a single vetted article that shows violence aginest aro/ace pple for "aphobia". Like its always these excuses;

Aroaces face corrective rape! the "corrective rape" was not corrective and happend because the aroace person said no to sex and it was just mysogny because the aro/ace person was afab n would you look at that, the rapist was a cis man. Thats mysogny. Not to mention 80% of aro/ace people are cis women, trans men and afab nonbinary people aka the people raised litterally taught from birth that sex is not something for them to enjoy and they exist to please.

Doctors consider lack of sexual/romantic attraction to be a symptom instead of an orientation! Because lacking the desire for sex and relationships is a hallmark sign of trauma, abuse and mental illness. Its litterally symptom #1 to struggle with sex and commitment when your traumatized and ive litterally never met a not-traumatized aro/ace. I know this because im a traumatized aro/ace and no, "aphobia" isnt traumatic. Honestly, even if your aro/ace as a result of trauma, thats valid, just make sure your healing and that your honest about it.

Well, when i wore my ace pin, someone called me a queer! Thats a sign that me, being cisgender and heteroromantic asexual, am really queer! Experiencing misplaced oppression at the hands of homophobic and transphobic people dosent suddenly make you gay or trans. Also, they dont know what any of the flags mean so why tf would they care that you dont fuck unless its Tuesday? They just assume all little pins with a bunch of colored stripes mean child groomer gay pedo tranny, not demiaroace or wtf ever. They litterally only hate you because they assume you fuck the same gender or dont identify as ur brith sex. Thats it. It also dosent help that you go running around saying "im SOOO gay" and "im such a dirty little queer." When you are neither. When you say ur gay, they are gonna think ur gay. If they know ur cis and het and dont have sex, they dont give a fuck.

Well, your theory falls apart that aro/aceness is mostly brought on by trauma and mysogny when trans women, amab enbies and cis man aro/aces exist! Ok, you still havent disproven my point because 1. transfems and amab enbies usually have gender dysphoria which, speaking from my own experiences, complicates sex and makes it harder. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness and unless you bring to me 5 examples of cis het men who identify as aroace, you dont get to use them as a gotcha. Ive been gay for almost 10 years and ive still never met one, online or irl.

I also never stated that aro/aceness was purely brought on by trauma/mental illness and mysogny, its something that can just naturally happen. Ive just never seen it genuinely happen. Usually the person has trauma/mental illness or is afab or is trans or all three. All of these things, according to proven psychology, can affect the sex drive, attraction and desire for committed relationships.

Thats why every aro/ace you see is either really young and in pain, still healing from trauma or is older and admits to holding on out of spite or admit that its trauma related. There are always gonna be exceptions but unless those excepts make up more than 25% of a thing, im not considering it something totally stand alone. Its also why every ex-aro/ace carries the same story: they identified with it when they were younger and healing from some traumatic shit, they got older and got help, they healed and magically they werent adverse to sex and relationships. That dosent happen with gay pple or trans pple usually. Like 70% of today's aro/ace people are allo 5 years later. If not 5, then 90% by 10 yrs. If not 10, then 99% by 20 yrs.

Its not a coincidence. Adversity towards sex and relationships usually has a foot in the graves of social oppression, trauma/abuse and mental illness. Usually once someone feels empowered by their minority status, heals from their trauma and copes with their mental illnesses, they arnt aro/ace anymore. I speak from experience watching pple i knew when i was 13 go from traumatized and a "romance and sex repulsed" aroace transmasc nonbinary kid who hates allos and gags at sex scenes to being 20 and seeing them all just be ur average bisexual transmasc nonbinary person who kisses and fucks like everybody else. They might throw an arospec or acespec label in their like demi- or -flux but its usally just labels that mean that they are normal person who dosent fuck on sight or isnt always thinking about sex.

Im not saying that every incident of aro/aceness is a result of trauma/abuse, mental illness and bigotry but i am saying that coming to terms with that shit usually makes someone less aro/ace. Im also mentioning how many times ive seen aro/ace people throw out excuse after excuse and label after label that all boil down to telling someone to stop getting therapy and just identify as this because "all labels are vaild and inate to you. You'll always be this." Then they mob you when you get help and openly say your not aroace anymore and ur labled a "traitor" who "wasnt an actual aroace and is just a troll" cause you dare to talk about rhw toxicity and fandomization the aroace communities suffer from. I know this cause im aroace and i dont touch those communities with a 10ft pole. Aint happening. I see a person with a demigreyromantic pin and i turn the other way hopeing to got they didnt see my aro one cause i refuse to talk to pple like that.

The definitions of romance and sex are fluid for a reason and just because you think you dont fit the societal definition of a "average amount of sexual and romantic attraction" dosent mean ur right about society and dosent make you akiocupioangleddemiaroacefluxspike, i promise. All these bajillion labels fall apart the moment you mention that its completely natural for a human's desire for sex and romantic partnership is supposed to fluxuate over the course of your life and multiple things influence it. Im not opposed to microlabels and sexuality modifiers and other things people do in an attempt to find community with others who have the same experiences as them and i never have but what i am saying is that little shit like that dosent oppress you on a societal scale and never has and to think critically about yourself and others to understand that what your feeling isnt always the truth and emotions can betray you.

You arent always a trustworthy person and its always best to make long term decisions on a full stomache, a mid mood, in clean clothes and plenty of energy with enough time to be sure. Quick decisions can fuck you up and the amount of spite and toxicity coming from the aroace communities when you even so much as glance critically at them is worth a few months of deliberation before you go in full speed. Just dont come crying to the normal aroaces when you hit a brick wall 5 ft in and get bombarded with cishet sob stories of people who lost their partner cause they didnt disclose their aroace status, cupcakes and dragons, the gay dads kicked me out copypasta and a bajillion people claiming that their oppressed with their only sources being "trust me bro" and " how dare you question my experiences". If you arnt 100% informed, ur on a hundred blocklists just for mentioning that you dont like the ace flag or some meaningless shit like that.

Trust me, dont bother.

[followthebluebell]

Day two of life

[choiyeonjuns]

cutie soobin @ act: promise in seoul day 3

[aengelren]

History will call them roommates..

[mintaikk]

I'm in tears, Blitzø dressed up and bought Stolas a gift for the Full Moon😭

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

WHITEBOARD BUGS!!!!

[alluralater]

you know you’re down bad when you’re looking at a totally nonsexual picture of the person you like and someone walks up behind you and you’re scrambling to put it away like it’s the most hardcore porn ever right there in the curve of their smile

[nebulaeyedfish]

greatly enjoyed Scar's most recent VOD

[ecto-space]

alright who the FUCK spilt all these cheetos on my bed

[cosmical-flowers]

aira shiratori 9th anniversary scout. you agree. reblog.

[1000dactyls]

Waiter! more hiccup hcs please they way you draw him is phenomenal

you asked & i delivered 🫡 even more hiccup headcanons and stylization thoughts… with an extra helping of the haddocks!!! hiccup is a fun exercise in thinking how does a neurodivergent norse teenager save the world. astrid’s line in DoB’s episode ‘fright of passage’ still sticks with me. paraphrasing a bit, it’s something like this:

ASTRID: come ON hiccup. don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming about going after the Flightmare — learning about it, riding it, training it… HICCUP: i don’t spend all my time thinking about dragons! ASTRID: are you seriously saying that to me with a straight face right now?

Like why did you clock him like that .

[rubberbandgirlme]

another interesting piece of exchange between mhin and leander that caught my eye 👁

indeed, it seems baffling that leander, our reliable man, our nice guy, the nicest of the nicest, just forgets to warn mc about such a tiny little detail, easily forgettable for sure — that eridia's streets are unsafe at night 💀

he quickly covers it up by flirting — and boy, can i wait (can't, need this game right now) to see more of such instances, because he seems to master this craft, and it is working on most people, — hinting at mc's beauty and/or the intimate (and it is intimate for mc, whether you like leander or not) moment they shared.

but do you know the most important, tasty nuanced thing this tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it dialogue reveals? leander doesn't care about mc, about their life and safety; he's niceys, it's all just an act. sure, cap, you might say, we already know leander is a manipulative titty shit, what's new? but look at it another way: we know this because rss kindly backed us up with all this additional info and content so we don't starve to death while waiting for the release (rss, i would have gone through content drought anyway. this is not a shade, take your time, i love you). now imagine playing this game for the first time without a pile of lore stacked at the back of your mind and seeing these discrepancies in his behaviour (check out my previous post on this), foreshadowing that he's not as good as he seems and his path might be dark and gritty as hell.

and now, my fellow leander girls/gays/whoever else is there, imagine how it would feel when leander cares (faints).

[l3irdl3rain]

Hello. This is either the Angel or Devil (you decide) on your shoulder humbly saying that it couldn't possibly be so bad to adopt Flat One. Right?

is it truly so obvious that i want her sooooo bad? (i know it is).

I'm actually pretty surprised by how understudied thoracic deformities are in kittens. I want to talk more with Doc about it, share some of the stuff I found, and see what he thinks. If you're interested here's an article. I am going to refrain from sharing my thoughts for now because I want to talk to Doc first.

I'm having conflicted emotions on what to do about this on one hand I literally JUST said I should take a break. On the other hand, how often does a special kitten fall into your lap? the one thing i will say: i dont think she'll be ready to be adopted out by the time her siblings are. and that is going to make it SO much harder for me to let her go

[jinxed-sinner]

Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.

[sualne]

the puberty jokes now have a whole new meaning!!

[culbi]

uhhhmm happy late bday ig??? i didnt know about that actually, thanks tumblr