#i know the trans man community can suck sometimes

[butch-bakugo]

Not to be an ass but yeah...

This lesbian was assaulted.... This trans woman was found dead.... Bi women get beat up on trains and are more likely to be hurt by their male partners than straight women..... This trans man died defending lesbians in germany.... These gay men are in camps in russia... This nonbinary person was killed.....

Amazing how you hear about violence aginest gay and trans people but i litterally cant find a single vetted article that shows violence aginest aro/ace pple for "aphobia". Like its always these excuses;

Aroaces face corrective rape! the "corrective rape" was not corrective and happend because the aroace person said no to sex and it was just mysogny because the aro/ace person was afab n would you look at that, the rapist was a cis man. Thats mysogny. Not to mention 80% of aro/ace people are cis women, trans men and afab nonbinary people aka the people raised litterally taught from birth that sex is not something for them to enjoy and they exist to please.

Doctors consider lack of sexual/romantic attraction to be a symptom instead of an orientation! Because lacking the desire for sex and relationships is a hallmark sign of trauma, abuse and mental illness. Its litterally symptom #1 to struggle with sex and commitment when your traumatized and ive litterally never met a not-traumatized aro/ace. I know this because im a traumatized aro/ace and no, "aphobia" isnt traumatic. Honestly, even if your aro/ace as a result of trauma, thats valid, just make sure your healing and that your honest about it.

Well, when i wore my ace pin, someone called me a queer! Thats a sign that me, being cisgender and heteroromantic asexual, am really queer! Experiencing misplaced oppression at the hands of homophobic and transphobic people dosent suddenly make you gay or trans. Also, they dont know what any of the flags mean so why tf would they care that you dont fuck unless its Tuesday? They just assume all little pins with a bunch of colored stripes mean child groomer gay pedo tranny, not demiaroace or wtf ever. They litterally only hate you because they assume you fuck the same gender or dont identify as ur brith sex. Thats it. It also dosent help that you go running around saying "im SOOO gay" and "im such a dirty little queer." When you are neither. When you say ur gay, they are gonna think ur gay. If they know ur cis and het and dont have sex, they dont give a fuck.

Well, your theory falls apart that aro/aceness is mostly brought on by trauma and mysogny when trans women, amab enbies and cis man aro/aces exist! Ok, you still havent disproven my point because 1. transfems and amab enbies usually have gender dysphoria which, speaking from my own experiences, complicates sex and makes it harder. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness and unless you bring to me 5 examples of cis het men who identify as aroace, you dont get to use them as a gotcha. Ive been gay for almost 10 years and ive still never met one, online or irl.

I also never stated that aro/aceness was purely brought on by trauma/mental illness and mysogny, its something that can just naturally happen. Ive just never seen it genuinely happen. Usually the person has trauma/mental illness or is afab or is trans or all three. All of these things, according to proven psychology, can affect the sex drive, attraction and desire for committed relationships.

Thats why every aro/ace you see is either really young and in pain, still healing from trauma or is older and admits to holding on out of spite or admit that its trauma related. There are always gonna be exceptions but unless those excepts make up more than 25% of a thing, im not considering it something totally stand alone. Its also why every ex-aro/ace carries the same story: they identified with it when they were younger and healing from some traumatic shit, they got older and got help, they healed and magically they werent adverse to sex and relationships. That dosent happen with gay pple or trans pple usually. Like 70% of today's aro/ace people are allo 5 years later. If not 5, then 90% by 10 yrs. If not 10, then 99% by 20 yrs.

Its not a coincidence. Adversity towards sex and relationships usually has a foot in the graves of social oppression, trauma/abuse and mental illness. Usually once someone feels empowered by their minority status, heals from their trauma and copes with their mental illnesses, they arnt aro/ace anymore. I speak from experience watching pple i knew when i was 13 go from traumatized and a "romance and sex repulsed" aroace transmasc nonbinary kid who hates allos and gags at sex scenes to being 20 and seeing them all just be ur average bisexual transmasc nonbinary person who kisses and fucks like everybody else. They might throw an arospec or acespec label in their like demi- or -flux but its usally just labels that mean that they are normal person who dosent fuck on sight or isnt always thinking about sex.

Im not saying that every incident of aro/aceness is a result of trauma/abuse, mental illness and bigotry but i am saying that coming to terms with that shit usually makes someone less aro/ace. Im also mentioning how many times ive seen aro/ace people throw out excuse after excuse and label after label that all boil down to telling someone to stop getting therapy and just identify as this because "all labels are vaild and inate to you. You'll always be this." Then they mob you when you get help and openly say your not aroace anymore and ur labled a "traitor" who "wasnt an actual aroace and is just a troll" cause you dare to talk about rhw toxicity and fandomization the aroace communities suffer from. I know this cause im aroace and i dont touch those communities with a 10ft pole. Aint happening. I see a person with a demigreyromantic pin and i turn the other way hopeing to got they didnt see my aro one cause i refuse to talk to pple like that.

The definitions of romance and sex are fluid for a reason and just because you think you dont fit the societal definition of a "average amount of sexual and romantic attraction" dosent mean ur right about society and dosent make you akiocupioangleddemiaroacefluxspike, i promise. All these bajillion labels fall apart the moment you mention that its completely natural for a human's desire for sex and romantic partnership is supposed to fluxuate over the course of your life and multiple things influence it. Im not opposed to microlabels and sexuality modifiers and other things people do in an attempt to find community with others who have the same experiences as them and i never have but what i am saying is that little shit like that dosent oppress you on a societal scale and never has and to think critically about yourself and others to understand that what your feeling isnt always the truth and emotions can betray you.

You arent always a trustworthy person and its always best to make long term decisions on a full stomache, a mid mood, in clean clothes and plenty of energy with enough time to be sure. Quick decisions can fuck you up and the amount of spite and toxicity coming from the aroace communities when you even so much as glance critically at them is worth a few months of deliberation before you go in full speed. Just dont come crying to the normal aroaces when you hit a brick wall 5 ft in and get bombarded with cishet sob stories of people who lost their partner cause they didnt disclose their aroace status, cupcakes and dragons, the gay dads kicked me out copypasta and a bajillion people claiming that their oppressed with their only sources being "trust me bro" and " how dare you question my experiences". If you arnt 100% informed, ur on a hundred blocklists just for mentioning that you dont like the ace flag or some meaningless shit like that.

Trust me, dont bother.

[genderqueerdykes]

How do I convince my (cis, perisex, allo, lesbian) friend that you can be the whole LGBT acronym at once? I made a joke about it (tho I do identify with all the labels) and she got kinda mad (or at least annoyed?) at me for it.

I don’t think she’s a full-on exclusionist, just hasn’t seen anything about it before and I believe she’ll understand if I explain it to her, but I suck at explaining stuff, so I’d be grateful if you could at least give me 1 argument (sorry for the bad wording, I’m just bad at wording stuff)

hm, that's a good question. some people do get really caught up on that

i think that's why i personally don't really call myself LGBT or part of the LGBT community because the acronym is really restrictive and people for some reason get the idea that you can only be one letter at a time. that's seriously how people have come to interpret it. whenever i used to tell people i was just a gay trans man, people's heads would explode. they would think trans men had to be running away from lesbians so we transitioned to "being straight"

i would say to tell them there's no barriers. the letters of the LGBT acronym are not sequestered into small, rigid boxes with barriers that cannot or should not ever be crossed. sometimes someone's entire identity is fluid. sometimes for one reason or another, someone just identifies with all of these experiences. bisexuality can mean having 2 or more modes of attraction, and being gay and a lesbian is a perfectly fine expression of bisexuality. it's up to the bisexual person to define that

overall i would try to let them know it's not a big deal and many people use more nebulous terms like "queer" because it evokes the idea of many different "strange" and "different" identities that expand well beyond those 4 letters. it's more nebulous, more ambiguous, can mean as much or as little as the person wants. but even if someone does want to use the LGBT acronym, it's okay if you have multiple or all of those identities at once. nobody's stopping you. there's no rules.

hope that helps, good luck with everything, i hope you're able to get the point across. let us know if theres anything else we can do!

[ptr-sqloint]

also can i hear about your ocs and world building and take on angels because i love them

Thank you so much for asking :D! i have a LOT to say:

so!

angels in my world building : basically angels are an tools with a single specific purpose built into them, and not sentient in the same way people are.

That purpose can go from something simple and 'mundane' to more impressive / elaborate tasks. Some transmit information, some are there to protect people/places, some are basically the rules of the world/nature, some are cataclysms.

The form they take depends on the job they have, and there are a few angels that have a physical body.

there's no god in the sense of a guy or a higher will/power, but you could say that the machine that is all the angels together functioning as a system is a sort of god.

there's also different categorizations of angels depending on the scope and magnitude of their influence. kind of like the difference between the weather and climate.

in descending order of magnitude:

there's the laws, the phenomenons, the cataclysms, the guards, and the instances. a law would be gravity or light and and an instance is the kind of angel that would appear and relay a message.

now! there are also man-made angels. Sort of. to make an angel first you need a preexisting physical angel that you are going to deface and destroy in part to take the building parts of your own angel. While the rates of success are not very encouraging, it is possible to make something mostly functional. But watch out!

for example, radio as a means of communication would be a functioning man-made angel.

now for the rest of the world building:

the world is very slowly deteriorating just through sheer age and entropy

angels can't really die or be destroyed but they can be wounded gravely to the point of being unrecognizable , this is how you get fallen angels

some of that resulted in a form of magic: making an image of something makes it more likely for that thing to be true. The effect is basically negligible if you make , say, a painting; but it can be amplified by repetition ( so lots of duplicates of the same image ) and using certain materials for the images. the effect lasts as long as the image does.

i have three special little guys: Galahad, Camille, and Alice

Galahad is nobility and was brought up to be The Knight Of The Prophecy TM since he was very young and so is very learned about lore and magic and that sort of stuff. He's also trans but doesn't know it yet , and he's not actually The Knight(also doesn't know that). He wants very much to fulfill that role tho, and a lot of his conception of himself as well as his self esteem hinges on being able to play that role well. He has quite a short temper and gets easily frustrated.

(the Prophecy TM is something vague about someone doing something that would permanently halt the deterioration of the word. It's vague because it's One Very Old image with a massive amount of repetition all engraved at the same place so it's Very Much up to interpretation)

Camille is the actual Knight. He's also a trans guy. Him being The Knight means that he has a physical angel inside of him. In his body growing around his organs like a dendrogaster parasite (not a fun time for him) it talks to him and sometimes influences his actions/perception of the world. Camille thinks that sucks immensely and wants nothing more than to be rid of it and of his 'destiny'. Especially considering it's pushing him to do some bad stuff. Otherwise he's a pretty cool guy, a bit clumsy and incompetent at a lot of things, but he's sweet .and he works as a courier.

Lastly there's Alice , she is a robot who was constructed using the brain and nervous system of a criminal, that was then linked up and put in a machine made for fighting. After a while , it was deemed unusable because of various issues, and was decommissioned. The organic materials were disposed of and the machine left in a scrapyard. A while after ( like a few decades ) it was woken up without any memory of her previous life / time as a robot. Mostly. She gets brief impressions and scraps of her memory as time goes on. Basically It is a robot and/or the woman haunting it 👍

i wrote more stuff about her in the replies of this post

[lgbt-cishet-movie-tournament]

Most LGBT cishet movie?

Movie Submissions!

Sometimes a cishet movie is a hit in this community even without any stories or characters reflecting us (or at least not explicitly or intentionally or... tastefully). Either because of its campiness and witty banter, its drama, its weirdness, amazing soundtrack and costumes or its diva-like personality taking center stage. Please don't take this poll seriously.

Examples of movies that follow the rules below:

The Wizard of Oz (1939), Clue (1985), The Exorcist (1973), The Servant (1963), The Sound of Music (1965), Heathers (1988), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), All About Eve (1950), Jawbreaker (1999), What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), 9 to 5 (1980).

Rules for Submissions:

Please don't fight we're literally just ranking the straightest gay movies and transest cis people. The most conforming and queer paradox.

Because of the tendency of this site to call something "gay" just because 2 conventionally attractive men stand next to each other for 5 seconds, I'm not counting shipping possibilities that much. The level of drama, camp and the number drag parodies it has is way more important than possible romantic relationships or sexual tension in submitted films. Also there's ace and aro people voting. Keep them in mind!

It has to be cishet but somehow still queer. Can be the camp, general weirdness, gnc clothes, sassiness, the inclusion of a diva, accidental coding, or some other secret option. Honestly if you find a way to reason so hard it works, you could even try to submit The Godfather (... it is very quotable...)

Submit movies that aren't just American!

Submit movies that are cult classic masterpieces or movies that objectively suck!

I love Mamma Mia but it does have gay characters. This poll came about because I found that a lot of older movies had queer fans that were able to connect to others through these movies while creating their own spaces. This was despite the movie being "straight and gender conforming". I love that there's more rep now, but I'm aiming for this to poll contain more vintage movies for a reason. and I want to expand my watchlist. I'm aware that there are movies from the 70s, 1920s, and other older eras with explicitly gay themes and characters like Victim 1961 or Salome 1920 (and I encourage you to widen your scope of historically significant films) but this isn't that poll.

Old movies with very stealth trans or gay coding with its side characters and unintentional lgbt+ coding is allowed, but you know these things can be hit or miss. Besides, I put Heathers on here even though it's homophobic. Fun but homophobic. You can submit movies with homophobia or conformist themes to a degree.

You can submit propaganda videos, text, and images! If you know any drag parodies of the movies, send them my way!

If you don't want to submit directly, you can @ me

Posts with polls will be tagged as #mlcm poll. Movies posts with #user submitted or #user submission means it was submitted through the google forms and will enter the tournament

Given that not a lot of people watch older movies, the battling polls will be paired by decade until it gets whittled down to the finals where old and young will both compete.

Competition will start May 1 in honor of The Wicker Man 1973, which i wish counted as a poll entry, but I limited myself to one movie I'd slip into the tournament despite the fact that there's not a lot of lgbt fans of the movie. And this was my runner up because I really liked The Exorcist's Regan and Karras. Unless someone else submits him, Wicker Man's not gonna be there. Rest in Peace Christopher Lee and his ugly blonde wig.

[babybatscreationsv2]

Say It

Marvel | Starker

Sometimes Peter needs a safe space to process his feelings about his body. Tony just enjoys watching him squirm.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings and tags below

This is a cnc misgendering role play in which trans guy Peter is consensually misgendered by Tony with prior consent and communication.

If you're uncomfortable with feminine or female language being applied to trans men for any reason, this is not a fic for you.

Otherwise, this is a safe space. All trans people are valid. Trans men are not women.

Warnings/tags: misgendering kink, trans!Peter, feminine words for male body parts, CNC, degradation, age kink, light misogyny, breeding kink

"I love these tits," Tony purred. His hands squeezed the tissue of Peter's chest. His thumbs teased his nipples.

Peter whimpered in answer. Then he found his voice beneath the anxiety. "They're not tits..."

"Oh yeah?" Tony smirked. He wrapped his lips around one nipple and sucked. He dragged his teeth over it, nipping and sucking while Peter squirmed in pain and pleasure. When he drew his head back, he let his lips pop against it.

"Feels like tits to me. We could get you some nice implants. I think you'd look good with DDs. Then you can tell me how they're not tits."

Peter shuddered. "They're not..."

"And what's this down here?" Tony's hand slipped between his legs.

"My dick," Peter said. He tried to sound firm, but he was shaking too much.

Tony laughed. "Must be tiny. Feels like a pussy to me."

Peter moaned. He squeezed his thighs together and turned his head away. Tony just took advantage of his bared neck, sucking on his tender skin.

"Tony," Peter whined.

"Yes, princess?"

"Stop it," Peter pouted.

"What are you complaining about?" Tony rubbed his crotch through his underwear. "Your panties are getting all wet. You love it when I suck on your tits don't you?"

Peter whined and Tony smirked. He tucked his leg in between Peter's and forced them apart so he could give him a small smack there. He gasped, looking at Tony with wide eyes.

"That's a good girl."

"I'm not a girl."

"Don't be silly, baby. How could anyone with such a pretty pussy not be a girl?" He slipped his fingers into Peter's underwear, coating them in his wetness. He brought them up between their faces.

"Look at that. Boys don't make messes like that. That's pussy juice." He pushed his fingers into Peter's mouth without resistance. Peter sucked them clean while Tony watched, grinning down at him. "Good girl."

Peter couldn't speak around the fingers in his mouth. It was only more humiliating that he couldn't even argue. He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked harder.

"That's my girl. Good little cock sucker, just like I taught you. All your wet little holes need cock in them don't they?" Tony smirked. "You're rubbing your pussy against my thigh, you know. I can feel how soaked you are."

Tony palmed his chest again. "You can dress however you want, but you know you're just a little girl aren't you? You want your pussy stretched out on my cock, don't you?"

Peter moaned. Tony pulled his fingers from his mouth and grabbed hold of his hair. "Say it."

"Fuck you," Peter spat, but the venom wasn't there.

"Tell me you want me to fuck your pussy or I'll jack off on your tits and leave you wet."

Peter whined. "It's not-"

Tony slapped him. "Don't lie to me, baby girl." He reached down between Peter's legs where he was wet and pushed his panties aside before pushing a finger into him. "This is a fucking pussy. Because you're a girl. I know little girls get confused, that's why you need an older man to explain it to you, huh?"

Peter nodded his head, biting down on his lip.

"So tell me what you want then."

"Please..." he squeezed his eyes shut. "Please fuck my pussy."

"I'm sorry?"

"Please fuck my pussy!" he said quickly.

"Good girl." Tony rubbed his clit, his finger stroking inside him. "I'm gonna fill up this little pussy aren't I? Just like it's made for."

He took his cock in his hand and slapped it between Peter's legs. "See, sweetheart. That's what a cock looks like. Touch it."

Peter took Tony's cock in his hand, stroking it lightly. "It's so much bigger than your little clit isn't it?"

"It's a cock," Peter argued.

"Sure, baby," Tony said with condescension. "I know anatomy is really hard."

"Fuck you," Peter said again.

"Do you want this cock in you?"

"Yes, please."

"Play with your tits then."

"No, fuck you. I don't have tits!"

Tony stroked his cock in his fist. He hovered just over him, the warmth of his body against Peter's. "Go on, sweetheart. I love watching a girl play with her titties. Convince me to fuck you."

Peter whined and turned his head away. Hesitantly, he brought his hands up to his chest. He gasped at his own touch against his nipples.

"See it feels good doesn't it, baby? You gotta touch those tits more. They're so pretty. You look so pretty touching yourself for me."

"They're not-" Peter's words were caught in a primal moan. Tony slowly pushed his cock inside. In the hole they both ignored more often than not, then came moments like this, when Peter wanted to be misgendered, and it was like the first time all over again but better. He was so tight and so tense. Tony didn't say a word as the boy ran his thumbs over his nipples in an effort to pleasure himself into relaxing, to let him in.

Peter reached for Tony as his cock filled him up. He pulled him down and Tony kissed him while Peter squeezed around him. Should have grabbed himself a cock ring.

"You okay?" Tony asked as he settled.

Peter nodded. "Please keep going."

Tony grinned. "Good girl."

Peter moaned. "Fuck me, please."

"I told you, you were just confused. You just needed a nice big cock in your little pussy." He moved his hips, grateful for just how soaked Peter was because he hardly had it in him to go slow. It felt so good. He held his hips, fucking him deep, bumping against his cervix to little whimpers of pain and pleasure.

"Please please," Peter begged mindlessly. His legs wrapped around him. His hands held on to back of his neck.

"That's my good girl, gonna fucking breed you."

Peter moaned, pulling him like he could get him deeper. Tony gave him what he needed, fucking him with quick deep thrusts, feeling his hole squeeze the whole length of his cock. He leaned into, letting his weight press Peter into the bed.

"Gonna bruise your fucking insides so you know what this fucking hole is for. What this pussy is for."

"It's a pussy," Peter agreed. "A pussy for your cock. Breed me please. Knock me up."

"Yeah," Tony moaned. He groped Peter's chest, kneading and squeezing him. "Gonna knock my girl up. Watch your tits swell."

"Oh my god, Tony, please. I need to cum."

"I know I can fucking feel it," Tony panted. He was right there, practically bursting. "Your pussy's milking my dick, practically begging for it."

Peter whimpered.

"Go ahead, baby. Show me how a girl cums."

Peter gasped. His nails dug into Tony's back. His eyes squeezed shut and mouth fell open, silent at first then moaning as his body shivered. His legs trembled against Tony's waist.

Tony came, pushing himself up against his cervix, pouring his cum straight into his womb and fucking him still as if it could fill him up again. He stopped only when his body forced him to. He looked at Peter, beautiful and red faced and panting. His hole was swollen and sore and gorgeous with his lacy boyshorts stretched to one side.

"We'll just fix these." Tony adjusted his underwear back into place. "Your pretty panties can help keep all my cum in your pussy. Make sure it takes."

Peter moaned. He was still shaking. His grip was weak as he tried to bring Tony to him for a kiss. Tony leaned in for him and gave him a soft kiss.

"You okay, Pete?"

He nodded his head. "Feels so good." His hand slipped down between his legs, rubbing the front of his soaked underwear.

Tony chuckled softly. "You'll have to give me a minute."

Peter smiled. "I'm too sore for..."

"That's okay."

"And I don't think I want... that again for a bit."

"That's okay, too." Tony ran his hand down Peter's thigh. He looked at where he was soaked, their cum mixed together making the most enticing mess.

"You want to eat me out so bad don't you?" Peter grinned.

"Fuck yeah. Can I please?"

Peter laughed. "Well, now I know how to get you begging."

Tony pulled him into his arms and gave him a sweet kiss. “Let’s have a break first, my handsome boy.”

Peter laughed again. “I’m okay, I promise. I trust you. And you’re gonna suck my dick to make it up to me.”

[many-but-one]

Trauma Informed Biases and TERFs

In light of my ex-best friend being outed as a TERF, I think I want to have a series of discussions. Mainly about the biases that we (community "we") can have and that trauma and biases work hand in hand, and how we cannot allow trauma-informed biases impact our decision making or critical thinking skills, but also a bit about my experiences as a trans man and how being trans yourself doesn't mean you automatically escape transmisogyny. (Spoiler alert: while I'd never say I was transmisogynistic in action, I was in some part biased due to my past traumas, and having a transfemme partner and seeing the way she's treated by others just for existing had to make me rethink everything I understood about what it meant to be a trans woman, which has made me a better person--and I believe a better partner, too.)

First, I'm going to talk a bit about trauma-informed biases. As trauma survivors, we all have them. For example, we were primarily abused by white, Christian men. By all accounts, when we encounter a white, Christian man, we are immediately wary of his intentions. Often without even knowing him or trying to know him, we will already assume he's just like our abusers deep down. While that may sometimes be true, more often than not, a white Christian male who hasn't done much self reflection and growth will mainly just be misogynistic to various degrees and probably not understand the weight of his privilege. That doesn't automatically make him a pedophile who tortures kids like our abusers were.

Branching off from that, and narrowing it down, we get to the meat of the problem, which is men. We have met and known cis men who are by all accounts nothing like our abusers, in fact, the exact opposite. They are sensitive, they are caring, they know their privilege and use it to uplift the voices of their female friends. They are avid supporters of the queer community even if they aren't a part of it. While they are sometimes misguided, they are also always open to learn more and be corrected and change. There are good men out there. However, this doesn't make our bias towards men change. We were hurt by men, we know others who have been hurt by men. People both AFAB and AMAB have been harmed and subjugated by men for centuries, so it's not like it's coming from only our experiences with men.

However, this is where the problem lies. While it's okay to be wary of men for our safety, outright hating ALL men is where it gets dicey. That's where radfem ideology will suck people in, specifically AFAB people. They feel wronged by men, they have been hurt by men, so of course in their mind, men have to pay in some way. Feminism on its own sets to destroy the patriarchy and keep everyone on even ground, whereas radfem ideology often trickles into spaces related to that vengeance aspect of men needing to pay for what they have done in some way. And truly, I can understand. From the bottom of my heart, I can understand. I want the men who hurt me and hurt my friends to pay too. Vengeance (or justice, as many would prefer to call it) is a tantalizing concept, even if only in theory due to how shoddy the justice system is at actually bringing any justice to survivors' lives.

And when an AFAB person enters a radfem space, they will immediately be in danger of developing TERF ideology. This is what happened to the aforementioned friend. Most people will already know who I'm talking about. I think they started in a good place, but the biases that they already held within them were taken advantage of, and they let their trauma-informed biases take root and allow them to follow that TERF path. For the record, they still deny being a TERF, but as everyone has already seen, they most certainly are. TERFs will *rarely* actually self-identify as a TERF, even if they are spouting the most clearly TERF-ridden ideology known to man. The reason for this is because TERF is a "bad word" (rightfully so) and the baby radfems out there who are trying to avoid becoming a TERF are going to start by avoiding anyone who self-identifies as a TERF. Which of course, is not what TERFs want. They want baby radfems to feel welcome and not immediately shun what they teach them, because TERFs do eventually want those anti-TERF baby radfems to eventually become TERFs just like them.

[As a side tangent: I know I sound like I'm calling TERFs predatory in the way I describe their tactics, but I'm going to be completely honest in the way I believe a lot of TERFs utilize cult tactics to find new radfems or radfems who are on the fence between feminism and radical feminism and get them to join their cause. If you examine the BITE model (Behavior, Information, Thought, Emotion)--what is often used to define a cult--it's very clear that TERFs WILL use emotion-based tactics and manipulative tactics to get baby radfems to join their cause, and once their thought processes get changed and they lose their friends who don't jive with those beliefs, they get stuck in the echo chamber. And then they'll get pressured to believe more and more extreme things with the threat of ostracization from the "in-group" for not agreeing. And if someone has already lost all of their friends for joining this in-group in the first place, where else to go but to stay? See what I'm getting at, here? While they may not be as damaging to their own members as some cults, they DO cause a threat to others, namely transfemmes. People in power who share those beliefs make laws that distinctly work to harm transfemmes, e.g. JK Rowling providing massive amounts of funding towards anti-trans legislature.]

So how does this relate to trauma-informed biases? How do we get from disliking or hating men to becoming a TERF? Well, because TERFs utilize bioessentialism as a weapon. They reduce everyone down to the parts that they have (or were observed to have) at birth. While a TERF may not outright say "everyone born with a penis deserves to die" they WILL outright say things like "well, I just think AFAB people ("real women") should be allowed to have spaces that are only for them, you know? They shouldn't be forced to be around women who aren't AFAB" (if they will even acknowledge that trans women are women at all, more often they consider trans women to be men masquerading as women or accuse transfemmes of outright trying to invade women's spaces to hurt them). This is especially apparent in the lesbian side of TERFdom, where they try to use the justification of "not being attracted to penises" to explain that trans women shouldn't be allowed in their spaces. Which, to be completely honest, I do think it's fine to be attracted to certain genitalia and turned off by other people's genitalia, but you also shouldn't let that guide you toward completely excluding trans women from lesbian spaces. You can just choose to not date trans women and call it a day. Is it pretty lame to reduce someone to a set of parts and only date someone based on a set of parts? Yeah, it is, but you're within your rights to date who you want to. You just shouldn't exclude them from the entire space altogether based on your preferences.

For the record, I used to be part of this group of people right here. There was nothing I had against trans women, I was just extremely terrified of the parts they have due to my past traumas, and I didn't want to make a trans woman feel like I was afraid of them for the parts that they have. I didn't want my fear of sexual situations with her to ruin whatever romantic attraction we could have, and I was certain for a long time that this would be true forever.

Until I met my current partner, who is a trans woman.

I'm going to segue into how being a trans man (technically we are genderfluid but we usually present as a trans man to most people) doesn't automatically mean you cannot hold biases against trans women or even be outright transmisogynistic, and that while I do believe trans men have their own slew of issues related to being trans men (such as being perceived as a traitor to your AGAB, or the first time you get clocked as your correct gender but not in the gender affirming way, in the way that the women that you have always held so much community with think you're a cis man and are afraid of you. That's a tough one to come to terms with, personally, and is also why our system tends to lay within the "butch lesbian/faggy trans guy" section of transmasc, so that while we definitely do get clocked more often, it also helps the women we care about so much in our communities know we're not cis. Because no, our goal is not to be to be as cis as cis can be and so our gender ambiguity that we express does us a lot of favors while also opening other doors for trouble, like harassment for appearing as a faggy trans guy or as someone who's clocked as a lesbian) they are a completely different ballgame than what trans women have to deal with on a daily basis just for existing as they do.

Things I've learned about trans women's experiences that I never knew before:

-They may never be able to fully pass and that puts them in danger of harassment or even death for the rest of their lives

-if they come off as too loud or too intense for someone, they will immediately see them as a danger even if the transfemme in question is one of the kindest human beings you've ever had the pleasure of meeting

-if they don't talk in the somewhat-stereotypical "quiet, demure, trans girl" voice or for any reason dress in a more butch or non-hyperfeminine style, they are going to be seen as a threat despite any actions they will have done to prove they are not a threat

-if a trans woman likes to be around kids, some people are going to immediately assume they're a pedophile. This one deeply saddens and disgusts me more than I can even describe

-if they are talkative or ask a lot of questions about something and they come off as a little too pushy or are socially awkward/autistic, people are going to immediately assume they need to be afraid of her despite there being no evidence of that being a conclusion that needs to be jumped to, or they may label her as "creepy"

-if she decides not to opt for sex change surgeries then she's clearly just a man pretending to be a woman, if she opts for sex change surgeries, she's a trap. Same for if she passes well or not. If she passes well, she's a trap, if she doesn't pass well, she's a freak

-people will assume she's always trying to manipulate them in some way, as mentioned above. If she passes well, she's manipulating them and tricked them (usually for sex, but could also happen in a romantic situation). If she tries to disclose that she's trans early on, she might risk out on them leaving her just for being trans and not actually getting to know her as a person

-if she's into sex or hypersexual and comes off strong, at best she might be labeled as pushy or creepy, at worse she may be labeled as a rapist

-additionally, trans women are extremely fetishized, but once she has autonomy and is seen as an actual person and not a fetish object, all of that attraction goes away and she's seen as a trap or gross or whatever other vile concoctions people have come up with to describe trans women in a sexual light.

-many, many more things that I couldn't even begin to list in this post.

All of these affect a trans woman every single day. She's at nearly just as much if not just as much at risk of attack as cis women are. She's much more likely to hear the word tranny in a negative context than a trans guy is. While a trans guy could get called a tranny, sure, they're significantly less likely to be attacked or even killed for being trans. Trans men are often labeled as "confused little girls" which is infantalizing, yes, but trans women are often labeled as creeps, rapists, or manipulative/evil people. Imagine what that does to a person's sense of self? Their self image? Even if she's never done anything remotely that bad, she's going to be labeled that anyway.

And gods forbid she ever does anything that could be seen as kinda "weird" or "bad"--not in the morally reprehensible sense. I mean like she cheated on someone or she does drugs or she says something a little tone deaf ten years ago. Trans women are forced to live life on their tiptoes for fear of being told they are evil monsters. I've seen with my own fucking eyes someone who I thought was an ally to transfemmes (they were dating a transfemme!!!) who immediately demonized another trans girl because she was socially awkward and autistic. Tried to make assumptions that she must be abusive to her partner, tried to claim that because of one interaction with this girl, they already knew that she had antisocial behavior (which I find funny that she says this to us, someone who has significant ASPD traits), which to me alludes that they believe she could be manipulative and hurtful. All because she was a bit awkward in a social gathering! I was appalled and disgusted by this, and it really opened the door beyond what I'd heard from my partner already the types of things that trans girls have to deal with from people that are within their own community that they should be able to trust.

So what does this have to do with not letting our trauma-informed biases rule the way we think about others? I'll keep it as simple as possible with this little flow chart:

Someone (usually AFAB) has trauma with men -> they hate men -> they join the feminism movement -> they veer into radfem spaces because of how vocal radfems are about hating men and they feel they are justified to believe this because of the harm men have caused them personally -> they become a TERF because radfems see people as a set of parts rather than what they actually are -> TERFs spread hatred and vitriol towards trans women in particular -> that hate and vitriol leaks into the LGBTQ+ community because a large number of TERFs are lesbian cis women -> trans women are unable to feel safe even in their own communities

Trans women deserve to feel safe in their own communities. You can be the biggest trans woman supporter ever and still not be a good ally. I thought I was a great ally to trans women before I realized that I was equating trans women's struggles with my struggle as a trans man. And until you really understand what they go through and see it with your own eyes, you may never truly realize just how difficult it is to exist as a trans woman AND you may realize you had biases you didn't even know you had. Existing as a trans man =/= existing as a trans woman. I didn't even realize I had any bias towards trans girls until I realized that I had decided (rather young I might add) that I wouldn't date a trans girl because of the fact that she was AMAB. I didn't realize how much this completely screwed up my view of trans women until I examined it under a microscope, AFTER I fell in love with a trans girl. I don't want y'all to feel like you have to fall in love with a trans girl to understand their struggle and to question your own biases. (though I will say, dating a trans woman has been the best relationship of my life, I love her so much).

Examining your biases and understanding what is trauma-informed and what is an actual issue is paramount. Being wary of cis men is kind of a given, considering the amounts of violence cis men do upon people and have been doing upon people for hundreds upon hundreds of years, but you can't let yourself get into the rut of outright hating cis men just because you've been hurt by cis men in the past.

Interestingly, I've also been abused by cis women, though rarely in as violent of contexts as cis men. I've made myself look at that under a lens too and it made me realize that I greatly distaste old women, and for me, especially if they are 50 and older--though some parts of my system also struggle with any woman older than her mid thirties. I will almost immediately assume an old woman doesn't have my best interests at heart, though it's different than with cis men. While I may assume a cis man might violently assault me in one form or another, I typically have different assumptions with older women and it's definitely something I'm going to have to also examine under a microscope and try to pick apart to really understand if my assumptions are based on verifiable truth ("all old women are bad," like the "all men are bad" assumption) or based on my traumas. My traumas are my own personal truth, but I can't let that affect my relationships I have with men and older women for the rest of my life. Or I could end up a TERF, or like one of those people who were happy that old people were dying of COVID. What a miserable way to live, you know?

-Delphine (she/her)

[swallowtailed]

palisade 43

man. incredible episode.

really pulling the entire divine cycle together—calling back to the hypha, to strati, to volition—and the whole sweep of partizan/palisade.

extremely cute intro. hopping back on air (while high) to freestyle for the entire twilight mirage, honor the dead, drop one “valence” in there real quick, and get out again. parti rights. we’re baaack~ :D

thisbe this episode: hooting hollering etc. worldwide resonance!! her conversation with volition was really compelling. it did strike me that volition seemed to approach the question of divine autonomy from a rather individualist angle (just think yourself free! let people do what they want!), which i suspect is an artifact of (a) living in a supportive community for 500 years & so somewhat forgetting the importance of that, and (b) being volition. i do think that thisbe is on the right track in the principality context, looking toward community building.

also it’s so funny that volition just is an obsidian orb again sometimes. trans rights

brnine this episode: describing grief as a disconnect from your past akin to leaving entire planets is so perfect for brnine. also devastating. loved the sandwich callback as well, that was one of my favorite twilight mirage beats.

am pulling together thoughts about brnine getting challenged to stay in the mirage or leave and fight. when you’ve been defending the distant concept of an ideal, how do you handle the reality of it—especially when that reality is something you were never meant to see, and is so disconnected from the circumstances of your life and your cause. but of course brnine’s tied their life entirely to their idea of keeping up the fight, and haven’t thought that anyone they’re honoring could ever have wanted anything else. (it is also: blue channel going back at the end of partizan.)

have we considered the possibility that ali isn’t gonna have brnine say valence’s name unless and until it’s with their last words

on that note: you know, if someone was terrified of dying, but also sort of craved death, and also grounded their self-worth in their fight for their cause, it would seem awfully appealing to be promised endless life as long as you don’t stop moving. very here for jesset’s motion era. i don’t think there’s enough left of motion to take an elect… is this a dark mirror of integrity? something burrowing in? jesset’s brain gets hooked into that mech…

but also what do we think he’d pick for his elect name if he did pick one. has to be a plant, right? and he already has another naming scheme to fit as well… i think it should be catnip

eclectic this episode: of course he’s trying to arrest the divine who killed his squadmate in front of him, aka the first chapter of every noir procedural ever.

what is futgure doing ohhhhh my god

hey also we still don’t know dre’s new character? many questions

cori this episode: SO glad she’s joined perennial. love this for her. also the… black russian sage wings???? excellent. her entire conversation with perennial was so moving—reaching out to figure and finding their god doing the same is such a piece of tragedy. and the way the need to protect is shared among the three of them—have not stopped thinking about figure just wanting to see cori safe and happy. and then cori holding perennial as she sobs.

“we were figure’s people” is exactly what i wanted someone to say but also ;-;

the conceit of doing a story in a time loop is that you’re gonna repeatedly say, well, can’t do it this time, better move on—which sucks when the loop is a revolution, right, because then it’s implied that liberation is a one in a billion chance and more than likely impossible. (fine starting place, frustrating ending.) but with perennial no longer able to turn back the clock, it gives cori room to declare that there’s no need to keep restarting, they can win it here and now. it’s never impossible. which i am glad for.

look i’m sure they’re just gonna do 1-2 more downtime eps and then 4-7 finale eps and that’ll be palisade but. clears throat. taps mic. It’s Gonna Be Really Funny When They Do Thirty More Episodes. ok that’s all

[sporesgalaxy]

Real curious about trigun but I got three questions:

1) what's up with the Christian vibes?

2)the blond guys (plants???) have trans vibes, actual coding or just an accident? (fine either way just curious)

3) what's the plot? Space cowboys?

Anyways Millie is cool, (I once mistook the girl typically next to her for that guy from genshin impact)

1) Christian vibes are why I want to lock myself in a room for a month and emerge with a 3 hour video essay about Trigun very very badly right now.

Trigun spends a lot of time exploring Forgiveness, Mercy, and Redemption, which are famously also the themes of Jesus' wacky adventures in the New Testament.

But. You know how in the old testament there was like a bunch of Divine Wrath and stuff? And it feels really incongruent with the forgiveness in the New Testament sometimes. And also for many centuries Christians have cited God's divine acts of wrath as justification for incredible acts of cruelty against their fellow man? You know how that history of cruelty and punishment is, at this point, just as synonymous with Christianity as the Jesus Forgiveness stuff?

Well Trigun is about how the Jesus Forgiveness stuff is better. Not because Jesus said so but because of the enormous OBSERVABLE positive impact that forgiveness and redemption can have. Positive impact that wrath and retribution rob all parties involved of the chance to witness.

Trigun tells a story which demonstrates this in largely secular situations but underscores both the forgiveness and the wrath with divine imagery. And since both the forgiveness and the wrath are equally visually tied to the divine, symbols of divinity cannot be considered synonymous with perfection, unerring judgement, nor inherent rightness or goodness. Divinity becomes simply a symbol of power, and power is a double-edged sword as well. The power to do good is also the power to cause massive harm, and in many cases people will treat power pessimistically out of an understandable will for self-preservation.

But power is neither inherently good nor bad-- power ultimately reflects the flawed and fallible person weilding it. I could go on but this is really long so I'll stop lol :)

WAIT. Divinity = Power, Angels are the symbol of Divinity, Angels are messengers of God, Communication and connecting with others is emphasized, Communication = Power = Divinity ok I'll stop for real tee hee

2) I don't know if the trans coding was intentional, but HOLY SHIT is it THERE.

Most blatantly, Vash and Knives are Plants, and every other Plant we see is referred to as a woman/has female secondary sex characteristics.

Also Plants visually resemble angels, and it's common belief angels do not have gender like humans do since they are pure and holy beings. I couldn't quickly find a source for that, but I know that Alchemy has some emphasis on hermaphroditism as, like, the holier form. So I guess by that logic you could also say they're intersex but I'm veering off topic.

Thirdly in the 1998 anime they gave the child versions of Vash and Knives long hair that ended up being cut off in ways that symbolized important developments in their identities. Knives example is what I have on hand lol. It just smacks of transgenderism.

3) DEEP SPACE PLANET FUTURE GUN ACTION!!!!

Wacky space cowboy Vash the Stampede roams the space desert planet where humans are barely hanging onto survival using the tech of their spacefaring ancestors! He can shoot with perfect accuracy, and is wanted for DESTROYING AN ENTIRE CITY, but is a staunch pacifist?! How odd!

What's Vash's deal? What happened that made humans unable to go back to space? Why'd they land on this desert planet that sucks to live on? Learn this and much more in TRIGUN!

[wyn0rrific]

dolly au ramble + kinda ventish LMAO (its just me being annoying)

im sincerely hoping that this au doesn't come across as forced feminization towards vitus bc that's definitely not the case 😭

he's just very comfortable with being a feminine trans man and has communicated this to fulgrim on multiple occasions whenever the context of clothing is brought up

i can see a conversation along the lines of "would it be ok to put u in a dress today, dolly?" appearing in the beginning with fulgrim gently asking if vitus preferred trousers or a skirt/dress and choosing compliments that coordinate in order to ease him into the doll headspace

vitus does worry relationship wise that she wont ever be able to fully satisfy fulgrim (i considered making fulgrim also transmasc but as of rn hes amab + gnc so in a way it's still t4t??) meanwhile fulgrim doesn't mind that vitus is trans and only cares about making sure his dolly is happy, comfortable, and taken care of at all times

poor baby is also so terribly sensitive to praises/compliments (blame his raging praise kink for that) that whenever fulgrim calls Vitus a "handsome/pretty boy" with no sexual intention she has to keep herself from immediately falling into dolly mode (fulgrim thinks its adorable and sometimes will continue it purposely just to coax vitus)

sex wise isnt really that much of an issue involving vitus' gender but he does feel insecure about his lack of knowledge/experience (fulgrim finds this very attractive yet will not admit it directly but is always reassuring and guiding during it especially whenever vitus is in dollspace)

on a personal note i kinda made this au as a way to project onto vitus (per usual) as someone with a newly found doll k!nk

i've always struggled with my gender and having to fit in with what society deems as "passing" and i even went years denying who I was due to the hatred ppl have for feminine trans men. now i dont particularly care as I'm fully ok with being a feminine guy and dressing up and stuff, but it still does suck being misgendered and knowing i wont ever pass (man i gotta go on T)

tldr i think life would be better if i was a doll LOLL

[whilomm]

sometimes i wish people were better about remembering Your Experiences Are Not Universal wrt like, IRL queer spaces.

like an issue i see sometimes wrt discussions around IRL trans spaces is just like, people dismissing the idea that other peoples spaces could be exclusionary in a different way than what theyve experienced. like, someone talks about how whenever they try to go to local trans stuff IRL they either face passive exclusion or outright aggression as a nonbinary person, because everything around them is extremely binary focused. Maybe just every single space they find is either primarily binary trans men or binary trans women and its hard to feel included as the only nonbinary person, maybe conversations in these spaces are unconciously just extremely binary focused with little acknowledgement of nb experiences, maybe spaces say theyre nb friendly but by that they mean "women-lite nonthreatening usually afab", maybe theyre actively pushed out by enbyphonic trans people and actually told that these spaces arent meant for them, lotsa options youve probs heard before

then other trans people reading this experience are confused because, well, theres the exact OPPOSITE experience! every single trans group theyve tried to go to IRL is mostly filled with nonbinary people, they have trouble findig other binary people to connect to, maybe they encounter those same annoying ass "women-lite" nb spaces and have completely different problems with em, maybe they find spaces that either are actively hostile to them as a trans woman or as a trans man...

and the conclusion they come to is "okay, so that nonbinary person is crazy/whiney/lying because thats not how IRL trans spaces work" rather than "huh, seems like the local scene in their area is WAY different than my area, we kinda have the same issues in the opposite direction huh?"

and the same sorta thing happens when people talk about how their local scene is extremely transfem focused and they feel left out as a transmasc, or how their local scene is extremely transmasc focused and they feel left out as a transfem. "god it sucks how IRL trans spaces can be so fucking hostile to trans men" "what? no! every single space ive ever been to was mostly trans men, ive never found a space where I found other trans women to connect to!" and no one seems to realize/acknowledge that oh. these are Different Spaces we are talking about, their unique makeups and issues. people see something that contradicts their own experiences and they just dont know how to deal with it i guess.

bc idk it just seems like sometimes people are way too quick to assume "the way the local queer community works in MY TOWN is the way it works EVERYWHERE" because. Well, I understand! your world is dictated by your experiences, and if youve been hurt by the people who SHOULD make up your local community, i get extrapolating that this is how the whole world is! but when it leads to people just dismissing other peoples experiences because "well, thats not what IVE seen when i go to support groups..." its. frustrating.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

New intro post because I lost the old one and I should probably have one

Hello! I’m emu (nickname) and my pronouns are he/him. I’m ftm trans and aroace, mostly.

I might also like they/them as pronouns though I’m still figuring out how I feel about those, but by all means use them unless I say I don’t like them anymore. Whatever is in my bio should be fine :)

I don’t tell people my age :) and I very very rarely tell people what country I am from. I haven’t shared my name on here and am uncertain about wether I will or not. Don’t take it personally, it’s just for safety and my own peace of mind.

I’m a Christian! And yes I’m also queer. Please don’t be mean to me because of my religion.

I block people easily but also follow people easily! Don’t be scared to talk to me :)

I care about people a lot! (Hyper empathy yay! (/sarc))

I use “:)” and “<3” a LOT (not <3 if you don’t like that)

I use tone tags but not always, mainly just assume I’m not meaning things in a mean or romantic way and it’ll be alright.

I try to trigger warm posts as best I can and cw for bright colours, gifs ect.

I don’t swear but I reblog and might post images/clips that have swear words in them.

I have dyscalculia, audhd and anxiety and depression! I’m trans so I also am affected by dysphoria a lot! (I’m getting better with some of this stuff and am medicated most days for adhd.)

I think I have ocd but I’m not sure because I have a lot of overlapping disorders already that could be causing those symptoms. And also just so you know, my memory sucks.

I am EXTREMELY obsessed with shoot from the hip. EXTREMELY. (They’re @shootimpro on youtube, insta and tiktok- go check them out if you want!!!) this is almost a fan blog for them at this point. If you get annoyed by my almost constant posting about them feel free- nay encouraged, I don’t want to annoy people- to filter the tags:

#Sfth

#shoot from the hip

#shootimpro

#sfthposting

These are good tags for sfth fans to filter within my blog if you want sfth posts, too :)

If you’re a sfth fan but not a patreon just know that I sometimes talk about patreon things here (its not against the rules to talk about) and if you don’t want to see sfth patreon content talked about or screenshots of things because of whatever reason then you can filter the tag #sfth patreon things

and if you’re a sfth fan and you want to know more about them or you need screenshots or clips feel free to ask!!!!!! I’m always happy to talk about them and I have over 500 screenshots and more I can easily access through discord.

if you are a sfth fan and want to be on the fan discord just ask and I can dm you the join link! :))

I’ve had other hyperfixations that may resurface from time to time such as the shows Community, Loki, f.r.i.e.n.d.s and B99. I also have been obsessed with Spider-Man and marvel in general.

I might tag things as #emu rambles if I’m randomly rambling in the tags or #self rb if I’ve reblogged something from myself, these tags don’t really mean anything and idk why I do it :)

(oh yeah and barely anything here is organised)

I probably missed something but who knows.

:)

[hellokittyballsack]

WAIT. DO U ALSO HC DRIX AS TRANSFEM. OR AM I. LOSING MY MIND.

I DO IN A WAY ? ITS COMPLEX SORRY

i dont like labels but i do refer to drix as she/her because i see her motherly love and gentle soul that she carries around on her sleeve. i love her sm... ARGHH also i love ur pfp

(im gonna use this opportunity to rant about labels since i was looking for an opportunity to share this somewhere NOT MAD AT U OR ANYTHING LOL TLDR: hairy balding cis men are beautiful women the way they are ♥️ masculinity can be feminine vice versa if you let it be🖖)

you can skip blue text and just read the green part, blue's more of a personal experience laadeedaa!!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

with a lot of my fav cis male characters i tend to slowly start calling them she/her the more i love them, dont really know why but i think thats just me projecting since im a trans man so i cant really enjoy femininity authentically, yknow? (or the way i want to) ide get misgendered since the body i was born with is "female" or "feminine". 🍅 🍅 🍅

plus im almost certain if i was somehow flipped and born a cis man ide still end up transitioning(not medically but thats a personal thing) and then yearning for masculinity, simply because i hate how these bodies limit the perception people have of me. i want to be my own person, identify as me first, not to have my label define me or my identity for that matter bc identity is SO much more complex than just one word.

its like Ying Yang but sadly i cant ever be a true neutral because that would mean dressing androgynous which i cant do because me, dressing androgynous, would just be a boyish girl. and me dressing masculine would get the results of "being seen as androgynous" because of how my body is naturally. but is that fair at all? so the only thing i can do to be seen as masculine is to medically change my body? ☹️

and i dont want to be seen as androgynous either at all, i love my male identity, dont love what comes with it but love it. and want to be perceived as masculine, ..but being androgynous is the only way you can build up your identity on your own without someone viewing you with a gender filter on their glasses.(sorry for the shit metaphor) and after people find out whats in your pants they will immediately talk to you differently and that SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i want to put on a dress that doesnt make me a woman or a feminine man, let me enjoy this dress, masculine-ly ‼️‼️🤲 PLEASE

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

(⚠️this isnt relative to the asked question as explained prior, use labels all you want guys but know its okay if someone doesnt use labels ect ect. just explaining the jist here quickly⚠️) sometimes people use labels to put others into boxes and focus on "whats womanly" / "whats manly" --- so its difficult to have people respect your identity while "breaking the rules" (their rules) of said identity. aswell as people focusing on the physical. (body and such) rather than finding beauty in feminine and masculine features you have without that lowering your validity of said identity. this being said that usually happens in heteronormative spaces BUT it occasionally slips in into the lgbtq community.

masculinity can be femininity vice versa, its not just black and white 🫂 body hair can be both for example, even in "masculine" areas, it still can be feminine. and that should go for any body part, clothes, action, interest or anything for that matter ♥️♥️

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

like with peter strahm from Saw (aswell as mark hoffman) thru months of writing scenarios between them and my brainrot i now see them as the most beautifully gorgeous women and that includes all their hairy appendages. that doesnt necessarily mean i headcanon them as transfem, i see their "male" bodies to be the peak of feminine beauty, as well as their masculinity. i mean that i dont "genderbend" them and turn them into cis women, and i dont add or take away from the original character, longer hair or a sudden change of clothes, or trans scars even though im trans myself and will probably end up with such scars (in a perfect world i would be seen as male with or without boobs) theyre perfect the way they are and i love them dearly oh so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂....(not saying its bad to do any of that, live your truth) i may draw them wearing dresses or lipstick time to time but thats not what defines their identity as women, who says theyre 100% only women either fuck it lets go full genderqueer!! theyll never be cis women yes, but thats not what my goal is at all. trans love everybody ♥️ transexual pride!! ♥️♥️(and even if you dont identify as trans but still arent cis ♥️♥️youre valid however you feel, whenever ⭐) But that doesnt mean i headcanon them as trans also, theyre them, and i want to see them shine, not being shadowed by a label or limited by one, that goes for Drix too. that doesnt mean im against such label, though theres really no way of explaining without it SOUNDING like i am, go fuckall with your headcanons imagination is free!!!! just labels arent for me AND THATS OKAY

theyre all my girls who are boys who are girls MUAH 💋

[prettyprettypurin]

Not to bring up queer discourse because it is truly rancid and unproductive most of the time but the way people will be like ‘gender is not real’ and then simultaneously believe that sexuality is strict and fits in a neat little box is so absurdly silly to me like… ppl say all the time “lesbians can be attracted to women and “”””woman aligned””” non-binary people” what the hell does the even mean. Truly. Cause I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret that aside from “non-binary people that LOOK like women to me and I therefore see as women” which is so weird and invalidating honestly.

Like let’s all be honest here if you saw a non-binary trans man who doesn’t plan to transition out on the street and thought they were attractive your not gonna know unless you actually pursue them, and if you did, do you seriously want me to believe that there’s a little switch that would go off in your head once you found out how they saw themselves and you’d go “EWWW this CREATURE has been touched by MANHOOD” and poof you’d suddenly no longer think they’re hot. Like do you really expect me to believe that because I don’t. You can recognize their personal identity and NOT see them as a woman or “woman aligned” person and still think they’re hot.

Besides even if this hypothetical person WAS in the middle of or post transition… where is the line between trans/non-binary men and non-binary he/him transmasc butch lesbians. Would you like to get in front of the class and point to it on the board??? Cause IF there is one that thing is about as thin as a strand of silk. Now don’t get me wrong, this is NOT to say that there is *no* difference between these two identities and I completely understand that plenty of trans men do not want to be lumped in with lesbians for the very obvious reason of feeling like that inherently misgenders them, but there are also plenty that ARE fine with it because of their personal relationship with their gender, and let’s be real a significant portion of them have been in the lesbian community for years anyway and it is their safe space and very much their home and they are also aware of how they are viewed by society/outside their own perspective of themselves (which as much at it sucks, is also an aspect that is unfortunately important in gender/sexuality conversations even if everyone wishes it wasn’t).

And then to further complicate the matter there’s amab non-binary people, who people just LOVE to treat as “basically men” or “tainted” or some kind of other nasty terf crap. The point that I’m trying to make is that people seem to have a FUNDAMENTAL misunderstanding of what non-binary means, it’s quite literally NOT binary and while SOME peoples identities are going to clearly and neatly fit in boxes, many will not. No one is telling you that you HAVE to be attracted to these people or that you yourself ever will be but sometimes people that identify as lesbians are going to be because human beings and real life are messy and every second you waste arguing online with someone about their personal identity (who you are NEVER going to be able to convince to change by the way in case you haven’t figured out how that works yet) is a second that you could be using to do literally *anything* actually productive for your community.

To quote Kourtney Kardashian, “Kim, there’s people that are dying.”

[genderfluid-info-blog]

Hi! I think I might be genderfluid. I have felt like I wasn't purely cis for a very long time, adopting 'lesbian' as "basically sort of my gender" for a while when I was 18, and feeling indifferent towards pronouns since forever (though using she/her because it's easier). I first realised last October that the way I saw my own gender sort of changed with my expression and how other people perceived me (ie wearing a dress made me feel more feminine, liking star trek around people who consider that a masculine show made me feel more masculine, etc). After realising that, I started to focus on how *I* felt regardless of other people's opinion. I am noticing now I find it quite difficult to discern gender roles, gender expression, and my actual gender itself. I have days where I wear a sports bra as a binder because it feels better, days where anything feminine makes me feel uncomfortable, days where I feel like I am both masculine and feminine at the same time, or nothing entirely. Yet on the other hand, I also have days where not dressing femininely makes me feel uncomfortable, and I've noticed that even on my more 'masculine' days, it is important to me that I don't feel like a man, and that I'm afab. On those days, I truly do not feel like a woman, but the part of me that is raised a girl and understands what it feels like to be a girl is always in me. It's an important part of the way my gender feels to me, at all times. This also makes me feel like I am 'faking' it (for lack of a better word), like I really am just a cis woman who prefers dressing in a way that is more gender-nonconforming sometimes. Of course I know that no one can tell me what my gender is, or even what "gender" is and how to define it, but I'd love to feel a little less lost. How do I feel more certain in my gender identity? Is this a common genderfluid experience (is there a microlabel for this)? Do you, or anyone reading this, have any tips on how to determine what my gender is on any given day, how to identify that feeling? Thank you so much for all you do on this blog <3

Hi! What you're describing sounds like a typical genderfluid experience :)

First of all, I want to preface this by saying that it's completely valid for your AGAB to be important to your gender! You don't need to resent your AGAB or distance yourself from it in order to be trans! It is perfectly understandable that having grown up AFAB plays a big role to you and that being an important part of your identity does not mean that you're "faking it". You're valid the way you are. <3

Now, as for your question to how you can feel more certain in your gender identity:

I have a very similar ask to this here with a list of things that might help you

Check out genderfluid spaces! Engage with the community, read about other people's experiences, but also just enjoy the memes, positivity posts, exchanges etc. Interacting with the community surrounding your gender can help you feel validated :)

Affirm yourself. Say your gender out loud to yourself, take care of yourself, especially on days when gender dysphoria hits, find clothes that make you feel comfortable and good about yourself.

Give yourself time. Everyone gets insecure from time to time, and especially at the beginning most of us fall into insecurity and self-doubts. It sucks, but it's a perfectly normal experience. It'll get better with time.

Engage online with posts that make you feel good about your gender! And come back to them when the doubts get worse

Don't be too harsh on yourself. Distract yourself with your hobbies, friends and other activities if necessary, but try not to fall into a hole of overthinking, that's counterproductive and just makes you feel bad about yourself.

If you can, buy products that give you gender euphoria. It doesn't have to be something big. A perfume, a soap, a bracelet, etc. Little changes can make a big difference :)

I personally don't know of a micro label relating to this, but I do believe that it's a common experience among many people. You're not alone with this feeling. I personally feel connected to my AGAB as well and to a certain degree it plays a role in my gender. That's not uncommon or wrong.

And as for figuring out what gender you are on any given day:

See how people referring to you as certain terms (woman, man, person etc) make you feel

Try to find words that feel like "you" gender-wise on that day, this can be literally anything! (e. g. rock, moss, forest, wave ec. sometimes it's easier to describe my gender in words like this and it still helps me put into perspective what gender I am that day, idk if that works for you, but you could give it a try!)

I can't think of anything else right now, but if someone else has more tips, feel free to add them!!

And thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoy my blog🩷 Have a great day! <3

[hush-writes-preg]

i’ve been wanting to say this for a while, and im still not sure i’m gonna say it right, but i really appreciate your blog. i’ve been having issues with my ovaries for a while and it’s still not clear if i’m fertile or even gonna get to Keep my ovaries much longer. it’s been really stressful, because i really want to be able to get pregnant, and i might never be able to. but one of the worst parts is that i’m transmasc, and a lot of people- including my own family- can’t wrap their heads around being a man and wanting to be pregnant. even other transmascs seem to think i can’t actually be trans and genuinely want this. people pity me cus they think Society is what made me feel this way, and they have to “help” by convincing me this is something i don’t actually want.

you and all your followers have been the opposite of that. seeing so many other transmascs who openly (and sometimes desperately) want to experience pregnancy has made me feel like so much less of an other. seeing people who aren’t transmasc but have transmasc friends/partners being so encouraging and supportive when this is something they want has felt so validating. it’s such a positive and welcoming environment here, and it’s so comforting.

so i guess the main takeaway is everyone should keep being horny, because there’s at least one person who really appreciates it.

Hey there, Aster! Thanks for hopping into my inbox with your kind words! 💖

I've said it before, and I'll continue saying it long into the future for old and new followers alike-- this blog exists because I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to feel appreciated, validated, and seen in regard to this kink. I don't care what parts anyone was born with, what parts anyone has now, or what anyone's age(18+)/gender/sexuality is. Anyone can feel the desire to be pregnant or to impregnate someone else, and that feeling should be celebrated.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble with your original plumbing, Aster, and that you aren't sure if you'll be able to conceive. That's a really shitty situation to be in when you actually want to get pregnant. I've known a few people on Tumblr who are in similar health-related situations, and I just wish I could give all of you a big hug (if it's wanted). It's really not fair. The universe is pretty shit for allowing that to happen in the first place. But you're not alone, okay? I don't know how much comfort that offers you, but there are folks out there who commiserate, understand what you're struggling with, and hope that you'll be able to eventually find happiness regardless of what happens.

And yeah... family and society can suck big time sometimes. OFC you can't be male and want to carry a child, right? /s In my opinion, those people are nothing more than gatekeepers who have no business being involved in your body and business. The knowledge that these kinds of opinions are so commonplace really pisses me off. The desire to procreate is a ridiculously ordinary (though not universal) part of being human, so why shouldn't anyone be allowed to use the parts they have to make a baby if they want to? Or be allowed to find other reasonable ways to make it happen? :throws-table.gif:

Ugh. I'll get off of my soapbox now.

All that said, if the space I'm nurturing and the community we're all building is one of support, encouragement, and affirmation, then that's a dream fulfilled for me. We may be stuck feeling like an Other elsewhere thanks to societal stupidity, but not here. Here we're all as incredible and sexy and fertile as we wish to be, and I refuse to hear otherwise.

You're awesome, Aster. Try to stay positive, do what you can to take care of your troublesome bits, and love yourself the way you are. And if you ever need to vent about this stuff, my DMs are open, okay?

I adore all of you horny, breedable fuckers. 💖 Don't any of you forget it.

[lesbianamalvada]

not to oil a flame but if you consider doing hours of research and collaborating with multiple people to make sure you're factually correct and then publicizing your findings in a digestible format for the public about very significant and harmful disinformation that is still being spread around to this day is the "bare minimum", I think you're the problem

the queer community didnt get where it is by shunning help and trying to pretend you're better than others. have a little respect for your history and the community that protects you, unless you want to know why we had to fight so hard to get where we are

this is seriously over todd in the shadows 😂😂😂. Bruh what research did Todd have to do to point out hacky lies like "Forrest Gump had no cultural relevance" and "Most Nazis were gay". The ones that are still being spread around to this day were 1. Covered by Hbomb as well or 2. He didn't even get to. Yes researching a video debunking obvious lies (that will in turn get you way more praise, clout, money than effort you put in) IS THE BARE MINIMUM . IT'S A DRAMA VIDEO. He debunked obvious shit.

"the queer community didnt get where it is by shunning help and trying to pretend you're better than others."

He made a youtube video, not a nonprofit asshole. I'm allowed to have a fucking opinion on youtube drama.

"have a little respect for your history and the community that protects you"

Wtf? What the actual fuck??? What does a todd in the shadows video essay have to do with my history? How about the fact I have been pointing out Somerton (and other prominent queer youtubers) lies about our history and get other "kweers" attacking me for it everyday. And I didn't need some guy to be mean to my friend on Twitter to do it. Plus TODD ISN'T IN OUR COMMUNITY, and frankly, it shows. Like him being so flabbergasted that James cares more about best actress category than best actor, when that's normal in the gay male community. And I don't have any beef with Todd, my point was the EXTRA praise he was getting and WHY like him being a straight person made his contribution more special???

Also another thing I hate about you motherfuckers, youtube essays aren't protecting me or anyone else from shit. Yeah they *can* be education, but it's a business people profit from like everyone else. And a lot of them raise money for trans issues sometimes but it's not like they are our actual political representatives. Can you name one LGBT activist, their place in history, and what they did? Probably not, you lot can just say "Marsha P. Johnson threw the first brick at stonewall" and run. People like you are why Somerton got so popular, you like the aesthetics of education and activism without doing any of the work, like reading or community service.

"unless you want to know why we had to fight so hard to get where we are"

When will you people learn online discourse about youtube drama has zero effect on the rights of anyone anywhere?? All this because I'm not sucking off some straight youtuber who made a drama video? You're really threatening me with the repeal of my rights? You people are so disconnected from reality. Who the fuck is "we", anon? What have you done?? I was shunned by my mother's side of the family and my dad couldn't even look at me when he found out I was gay. I was homeless because of it, I lost everything. You know who didn't help me during that fucking time??? A FUCKING VIDEO ESSAYISTS!! Changing opinions on homosexuality, lesbian activists who actually made political changes, and myself! That's what "protected" me, okay? Frankly the LGBT community treats lesbians like crap and always guilts us with "we need to stick together" or "you don't want to fight for your rights again do you??" As if we aren't still fighting! So no, I won't be guilted into sucking the dick of the straight white man of the day. I'm not going to put up with being interrogated on why I don't suck dick in general. I'm not putting someone's feelings before my physical boundaries. I'm not going to police my language. I'm not going to qualify discussions of homophobia against lesbians with how some groups have it worse or how we're all effected, or how I'm not one of those problematic gay, or etc. I'm not bending over for an online queer community that produces nothing of value, frankly. This behavior is condescending, self-important, and honestly embarrassing.