#its a first draft and it exist and thats enough

[everything-lycanthropy]

Chapter 1 first draft

[bogor-o]

i don't think I've ever heard you talk about aym and baal in your mother au, do they exist? if so what's their relationship with ovidia and narinder?

OOOH im actually so glad you asked bc i have drafts on drafts of thoughts of the brothers,,, because i actually feel like theyd very present around!! sorry if this seems really fragmented im kind of mentally patching them together

i feel like i also have to explain the relationship between Mother and the mystic seller a little bit, once they meet Mother almost idolizes them and is excited to take their words to heart, and as theyre working towards recruiting the bishops theyre "rewarded" for their progress, they see it as a blessing, to mm it's the way of things

they receive baals necklace first, and shortly after leshys got, the ritual to bring baal back is successful and hes incredibly skeptical about everything thats going on because he cant fathom narinder being a mortal buthe takes it better than his brother who holds hard onto the belief that this is all unfair far longer than his brother does

theres a LOT of things that happen between baals resurrection and ayms, during which baal learns about what it is to be a person and individual, but he'll still struggle with this feeling of being loyal to narinder, possibly even more so now that he sees him as an equal with flaws

he has to help his brother adjust and learn but it takes aym tattling to narinder that forces nari to tell him that by that point (its probably been a couple years) that hes grown fond of their insistence to follow him around even now so loyally, that he considers them equals(his way of saying friends without actually acknowledging it in words yet)

he of course tells him he can never repeat this to his brother(bc baal and narinder are kind of on the same page and it can be left unsaid)

they both have their own ways of adjusting and they are reunited with forneus(tho it takes a while). they do stick around the cult because while they've learned more about themselves and each other, following narinder has been all theyve known, and this brings up a lot of complicated emotions the three will eventually touch on whether they want to or not, it will reach a point it has to be talked about

as far as their relationship with ovidia/mother goes? as Mother, they show a very genuine(and skewed) form of love to their followers and its extended to them without question and without judgement, and its initially what eventually gets baal to even allow them to speak with him and convince him to place enough trust in them(thats how they got him to forneus in the first place) and thru that, aym would come to. not trust. but at least respect them enough not to cause trouble or give Mothers followers a reason to doubt them(even if he will always believe their power belongs to narinder) they are gifted necklaces because in a selfish way, Mother wants them around for narinders sake(his only friends)

as ovidia? it becomes very complicated again, because ovidia still does things as Mother, but their actions dont feel like they come from a genuine place more than "its what i have to do because only i can do this" and after the brothers have had a long life to develop on their own and together, its upsetting. even after ovidia and narinder get together their feelings about ovidia stay complicated but they think it will work itself out, its not as though they can do anything about it!

:^)

anyway heres a doodle of the boys i did on my new years stream

[esosage]

Had another au idea where stone and robotnik, in their crab house, are being haunted. They hear whispers in their ears, chills creep down their backs at random, things go missing out of nowhere, stuff gets knocked off the shelves with nothing to mess with it, and the mirrors are always fogged regardless of wether or not someone takes a bath.

(Trigger warning for blood and maggots btw. None of it is drawn, but it is talked about! Even if its sandwitched in between breif "meh" level horror.)

Stone, naturally, is the first to belive they're haunted, and tries talking to ivo about it. But, robotnik is a firm anti-supernatural person.

He makes a billion reasons as to why its probobly not a ghost: Wind drafts, lack of sleep, the pressure from the crab house being under water..... But, One night, when ivo goes out to get a glass of water, he carefully rounds the corner only to see an shakey figure at the end of the hall.

At first, he thinks its stone: the hallway being far too dark for him to make out much. But as he starts to draw closer, the sound of his steps being the only thing to peirce the base's sudden silence, he begins to make out a few details. First it was their posture: hunched and drawn in. Second it was their hair: long and matted; smothering their face. And then, lastly, as he hesitently stepped a hair length away from them, their rancid order bashing against his senses, he spotted peircing crimson peaking out of their blond hair. Most was soaked in and dried up; deffinetly old. But yet, the maggot infested cavern that was the bullet wound in the side of their head still oozed thick, pulpy blood regardless.

He didnt have much time to hear them speak, because, once he saw their half rotted, blood shot eye peer up at him through their matt of overturned hair, he was already clambering to get back to his room.

He cant hear them trail behind him, nor does he hear them bang at the door once he closes it shut, but he doesnt need need to. He can feel their cold, horrid breath tickling the back of his neck as he dashes to saftey, and thats more than enough to make him keep running.

Safe to say, the next morning, he starts humoring stones idea about the house being haunted.

And much to robotniks poor ego, he has to eventually admit that, yes, ghosts are infact real.

It gets even worse for robotniks poor brain when they actually have to look at, ugh, supernatural forums, to figure out how to deal with the ghost in their house.

The first plan is salt, sprinkling it on every entrance and exit of the crab house. Although, robotnik quickly insists that they scrap it once he walks out of his room to see: "let me in >:(" written on the wall in blood.

He doesn't know where, or how the ghost got all that blood, but he doesn't really want to.

After the salt fails and they get rid of it, (much to the ghosts delight it seems as they draw a heart in the fog of the two's bathroom mirror,) they start throwing shit to the wall to see what sticks. or in other words: trying bassically everything.

Smudge sticks, insence, holy water, cleaning the entire house, even prayer in a very desprate attempt. (Ivo had stone be the one to pray, because he refuses to acknowledge gods exist. He caved in on the ghost thing, but he refuses to cave on this!)

But, much to their chagrin, nothing worked!

Meanwhile, the ghost seemed to appear a lot more often. Wether it be in pictures or in person, it didnt matter because the two started to see them more and more. Which gave them a couple of more discoveries about the ghost. The first one being that they're a little girl wearing a worn out, blue dress. And the second one being that they're not too hostile. They rarely bother them much, other than stinking up the place. But they are creepy, and come far too close for comfort most times. Which makes robotnik firm in wanting them gone: he values his personal space a LOT, thank you very much.

Now, if it wasn't obviouse already, the ghost is maria! Do the two know its her? No deffinetly not. But they do know that she seems to gravitate twards robotnik more than stone. She appears to him more often, and most of the time when takeing a pixture of robotnik, stone can faintly see her form next to him in it.

The reason this is, is because shes formed a spirit bond with ivo! Mainly because he is the only family member she has left besides shadow, but she doesnt know where the hell he is, and she wants to make sure her cousin stays safe. (Its of my personal headcannon that she got to see him once as a baby, and thats also another reason shes kinda attached to him. But i digress.)

Now, you might be wondering if maria is an agressive ghost, and the answer is a firm no! She's quite freindly, its just everything she does is taken as very agressive or creepy. So that time where she banged on robotniks doors after he ran away from her? Yeah it was really just her knocking, its just, as a ghost, she has to put in a lot more energy into makeing contact with things so it came across as banging.

And her appearing to him more often was her trying to say sorry for scareing him so bad, but he just kept going away when she came closer.

This is probobly the main point of the au, robotnik and stone being scared ahitless of her while she's just thinkimg: "god im haveing such a good time with my cousin and his boyfreind :3" sometimes she realises she's scareing them, sometimes she doesn't, but she tries her best to come across as nice regardless of if it works or not.

A good show of her trying to look as freindly as possible would be her covering her face with her hair. Her face is very scary (think a mandela cattaloge face, except with maggot holes and dried and fresh blood covering half of it. And also Some maggots being visible under her eye socket if she turns it a certain way.) And so she tries to hide it from everyone, to not scare people away. But even with their hair covering her face, robotnik and stone still think she looks very disturbing.

Maybe they realise its maria eventually, either by talking about her with gerald, or shadow once they're on freindlier terms with him. But still, until then its shennigens up until that point. (Because while maria does try her best to be freindly, she cant help but scare ivo just a bit. Its funny to hear him yelp.)

Side notes :D :

Maria likes whispering random shit into robotniks ear sometimes. She's tried to do the same thing with stone before, but the assistant has had to deal with a lot of weird shit (mainly from ivo) before so he's far too used to it for her likeing.

How i imagine it going down is her face (uncovered) fazeing into existance right ontop of ivos shoulder as she whispers: "i know what you are." Into his ear before fazeing back out.

It confuses the living daylights out of robotnik, but she thinks its funny.

Another thing she likes to do is watch ru pauls drag race with robotnik. They're both super invested into it (ivo religously watching ru pauls drag race being a headcannon i stole from someone.) And she quite litterally rushes over onto the bed with him whenever he turns it on. She's sad she can't share his popcorn, but hanging out with her cousin more than makes up for it!

Stone and robotnik eventually get a spirit box. Robotnik adamantly refused to get one, siteing him haveing standards as one of the reasons, but eventually he caved. Maria relentlessly teases him while talking through it, so he tries to avoid useing it as much as possible. But sometimes maria gets bored and throws a hissy fit, flinging things off the shelves and tables until he turns it back on to talk to her again. (Maria telling them that its her through the spirit box could also be another way they learn that they're being haunted by robotniks cousin if its not through shadow or gerald, but i digress.)

Stone, once he learns maria isn't all to hostile, actually kind of vibes with her a bit. Sure, she still scares the shit out of him sometimes, but due to his experience in dealing with robotnik, he learns to tolerate her presense. Even if its from 6 ft away. (Its a lot more than robotnik does anyways.)

Final thought! I'd imagine that sonic (and maybe the rest of team sonic) end up haveing to stay in stone and robotniks crab house temporarily while they're busying trying to track shadow down or something. and its only when maria appears to sonic (since he reminds her of shadow,) that robotnik tells him "oh yeah, the base is haunted." Which pisses sonic off a bit, because if he had known, he would have never agreed to stay in the damn crab house to begin with. But oh well, he'll deal with it. Maybe she's freindly! She did wave at him.. in a very creepy way- but that doesnt mean she's bad! In the end, sonic ends up being decent freinds with her. (This is litterally the only time that someone doesn't think maria is out to get them btw. Poor girl, she just wants to bond a bit more with her cousin that she never got to meet.)

[i-sveikata]

Since you are in the process of writing/correcting/adding/removing something from this new chapter, I would like to know what are your favorite scenes to write? Are they the action scenes? The scenes where only the main characters are (in this case the vp) or is it any other scene? I am looking forward to this new chapter, but don't stress, we will wait as long as it takes because we know that you dedicate a lot to give us a good fic 💙

im actually doing a lot more reworking than i predicted i would need to atm for the chap :( this was the first time i've had to write based off my memory alone when i couldn't consult my current draft (which sucks lmao) so it's a little bit clunky right now and im still trying to smooth it out. but from the length im thinking it might be another one (again) where i'm going to have to split it into two chaps in order to get it posted since it's much too long lmao. but thats good for the readers since they won't have to wait as long for the next chap to be posted!

tbh my favourite scenes are the ones i can picture in my mind very viscerally- so they're generally the big scenes- like any confrontation scenes, high tension scenes and sex scenes lol- whenever it has a big emotion underlying a scene its always so satisfying to write because i practically feel like im there watching it unfold lol. action scenes come very easy because theyre very step-by-step/ beat by beat everything is laid out in really fast succession which makes them fun to write from an analytical standpoint. emotional scenes are driven by dialogue which i really like writing- and is very talk-and-react so that always feels a lot more character driven than me consciously planning it like i would for say an action scene.

and that can be any emotion really!! i especially love humour and think its the most human quality we posses in disrupting our worst or saddest moments. so whenever i can chuck a little humour in there to throw off the anger/angst/sadness/grief etc it's always super satisfying

and yeah of course the main characters are the draw for this story- but no world can exist with other people (even if vegas might sometimes think that lmao) but having other characters interact with them gives lots of opportunities for the tension to break and for pete (or even vegas) to consult with others on the situation and see there's more outside of their intense dynamic. for me writing any character is interesting, theres some that i find more fascinating to write than others of course but im not especially not enjoying writing the other characters too if that makes sense? like vegas and pete drew me in and the rest are just part of the tapestry of their world so of course they need to be woven in there together. a story doesn't work without people!!

thanks so much thats very sweet!!! im thinking having this time off has been really good for getting through the fic so im making a lot of headway with it and hopefully the next few days will be enough to help narrow down the posting date. but yes im not too stressed and i know you have all been waiting very patiently for me to finish so i appreciate all of you!!

[ferrocyan]

ohh ok my fic draft is safe phew tumblr almost ate it bc i wanted to yap abt honeytart instead. so honeys inner thoughts abt tart is fun enough for me to chew on a lot but the opposite hasnt rly been revealed huh. well im not sure how to write abt this so im just gonna say it. tart is honestly of two minds abt the situation. he recognizes that shes very lonely and just wants companionship, he relates to that very well and is willing to provide it. its just that his willingness to accept the situation hinges on if honey cares abt him as a person at all. if she doesnt and hes just like a convenient bed warmer for her, cool, hes in need of one too, but then he wont accept being treated badly. however. if honey does care abt him as a person then its all fair game baby. blondie who is into and personally wants to maul him is like crack to tart, might as well kill him so he can die happy. and the thing is the way honey engaged w him at first showed that she does care, actually, at least enough to hear him out and ask for his opinions. its why he keeps a good faith abt being drugged w her venom. she cares abt him so its ok. but then that makes choke just a rly bugfuck moment for tart sjdgkslkdns like honey doesnt want him to talk so she overrides his autonomy—shows a disregard for him that breaks his good faith, unacceptable. but what she does then is ask him how he feels—showing.. regard? for him as a person?? which is it. thats why hes mad at her but willing to let her stick around. just like how honey considers him a mindboggling existence tart finds her rly bewildering too lol. anyway theyre so. im squishing these guys together with violence

[chronicler-of-narrative]

Hello genshin tumblr!

So, making good on my promise, i return to tell you about my first and main oc: Sigurd!

(Art made by the fantastic @the-fallen-aesthetics, go and show them some love! They're an incredible multi-fandom artist!)

Now, before i get into his backstory, I want to point out a small detail regarding his desogn: How, unlike most genshin characters, Sigurd appears to be masked (yes, I know Xiao, Freminet and Gaming all put on headwear during their bursts, but I dont count that). But, what if I told you that in fact, this is Sigurd's face? That Sigurd is not the man, but the mask?

So, with that narrative hook added to convince you read more, here's the gist:

In the kingdom of Khaenriah, there existed two noble brothers. One of them was Sigurd. The two saw themselves as fierce rivals, and they were pretty evenly matched, until one day, when a squabble taken too far led Sigurd to killong his brother with an axe

Eventually, Sigurd's crime was discovered, and so he was put on trial, with a mask over his face to indicate his sinner status and to prevent him the shame of being known. Though, as a result of some shady dealings between the court and an enigmatic acquaintance of Sigurd's, instead of finding himself in the gallows, Sigurd instead found himself in the dungeon, still wearing that same mask, although now, curiously...He was holding a greataxe.

For the punishment was, ironically enough, for Sigurd to continue engaging in the very crime that had put him there, though this time his victims were the worst of the worst. Sigurd was now a captive executioner.

Little did Khaenri'ah's court know, howevery that instead of providing Sigurd with repentance, they had instead created a monster.

After being locked up for so long in a dark, dusty tunnel surrounded by naught but corpses and sin, Sigurd began to go mad: In his eyes, he was no longer a criminal enduring punishment, but a righteous champion of justice who was graciously given the honor or disposing of the nation's filth.

In fact, it got so bad that, even when his sentence was up, the locks on Sigurd's dungeon grew ever stronger. The very people who prosecuted him grew so terrified of the violent lunatic stuck in their basement that they just started throwing the most banal of criminals at him, if only in hopes to keep him sated.

Eventually, the Cataclysm came. And Sigurd, now fully convinced of his noble purpose, thought it the perfect time to leave the dungeon in hopes of saving his people from the influx of monsters. Though, he never did reach the warzone, for an encounter with said enigmatic acquaintance lead to Sigurd's vision fading to black.

And yet, when a corrupt Garde named Lestat, desperate to avoid judgement for his actions, chanced upon a strange mask washed up on Fontaine's shores, he had no way of knowing that by dawning it (in hopes of using it as a disguise)...He would end up unleashing a madman with 500 years of built up vitriol.

So yea, thats about it. Had to rewrite this whole post once because im an idiot who forgot to hit save to drafts. But yea, hope you guys enjoy him, and my ask box is always open. I also originally had a fic go go along with it, but since i didnt quite like how it came out, its currently rotting in my notes app. However, should you folks like my little executioner, I might be more inclined to actually fully work on it (which I might do anyway, but im really not sure).

If you took the time to read all the way to hear, thank you so much and have an incredible day!

[habibi-bambi]

Lucifer Morningstar, Angel of God Now and Forevermore.

I'm working on a Hazbin Hotel fic that's Lucifer centric, with a dash of Good Omens and Lucifer show and Noah 2014 lore in it. PRE-EDEN ARC (this fic im working on is inspired by my deadfic lucifer/good omens that rotted in my wattpad drafts. I decided to put it up in AO3, so you guys can half use it as a guide for the start of the fic im working on now. )

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44040795/chapters/136875127 Before the Beginning, there was only the Great Void. The Barren Silence. There was Nothing. And then there was Something. That was Big G. [

Time had yet to exist, and They, a Great Being of Allknowing Knowledge and Unimaginable Power with a, rather strangling, hold on the empty darkness They liked to the Barren Silence, had no  measurement of just how long They spent not-yet-time like that. 

No idea of how long They had wondered over the curiously unanswered question of 'what came before?'

No idea of how long They had searched for answers of what, how or even why They had came to Be. 

No idea of how long They spent searching in that chilling silence of nothingness, within that never ending darkness, and found nothing besides Them. 

By the time They had enough of it All, and took the first step of changing it all, it started with just the smallest, softest of whispers—

LET THERE BE LIGHT.

And in their cupped hands, was a tiny ball of burning gas and fire and light. It couldn't possibly light up the vast Barren Silence, and barely changed a thing at all in their eyes. 

It was a start. ]

Big G poofed into existence in the midst of a bigggg black empty void of space. After some existential crisis that are unanswered, Big G decides to make a small ball of light. There is light, and Big G treats it like its their baby. And then it died :(

Big G decides to make more. Those lights eventually die too, but this time, Big G is not bothered because he continues to make more :D

Eventually that also gets boring for Big G here, until the First Light pops up and bumps into them, prompting them to stare with sad nostalgic no-eyes at the old husk of First Light, and had an Elsa Revelation (see Elsa's "love will thaw, of course, love!" for reference) and then BOOM! Great Plan was born! Now they solved their 'Reason for Existence problem'!

They decided they need help filling up the empty space (thats how dark and empty the big room Big G was in) and so they made their first angel.

Big G creates Samael, a being made of their divine essence, of their holy power, and of his piece. Samael who burns like no other stars and suns, is bathed in red and orange, with white six pearlescent wings.

Big G loves Samael, who is loyal and faithful. But Samael is young, impulsive with a temper that rivals every supernova. Big G creates a mirror of Samael, except he does not thing of suns and stars. They do not put in a piece of themselves, they instead thought icy cold comets, the moon. Unlike Samael, Metatron comes to existence, a gentle light, calm and obedient. These two mirror each other.

Big G creates two strain of angels. Most angels are like Metatron (not of personality or anything, just in how they were made), born to be of light, made of divine essence and holy power, but without a piece of Big G. Samael, and those that are like him, are very rare, and so only they hold the title 'Princes of Heaven' which later on becomes Cardinal Princes of The Seven Heavenly Virtues.

PRINCES OF HEAVEN (Princes is a unisex title) [ Samael. Michael (I'm still debating whether Michael is second oldest or second youngest or twin, im mentally weighing plot convenience vs more drama purposes). Gabriel. Raphael. Camael. Uriel. Lucifer.]

By the time Lucifer is created, there are hundreds of angels like Metatron, Seraphiel being one of them. Samael and his siblings are all Seraphims but are separated from the most as they are raised by Big G who definitely plays favorites.

When Lucifer is born, he is named son of the morning, the coming of dawn, and the angel who burns brighter of them all. His beauty and radiance and light is second to none but Big G himself. He is loved and cherished and doted on, even by grumpy and stern Samael. This in turn made him a spoiled (but lovable) menace who is vain.

He is also the most sheltered. Big G sees the First Light in him.

Lucifer, like every lil sibling, looks up to his oldest siblings, but he shares the tightest and closest bond with Michael. If Michael and Lucifer are twins, it'd be fun because of the 'half of me, the other half of my soul, together we are whole' trope and then HH plot and biblical canon plot happens lmao.

Basically Lucifer is like the sheltered, naive and innocent rich kid that's been spoiled and doted but very very sheltered. He's considered eccentric by other angels, and a little troublemaker by the Elder ones like Samael (fondly) and Metatron (cold disregard) and Sera (exasperated like a teacher, big sister from the neighboring house that likes to nag).

Hazbin Hotel hierarchy still does not exist yet. It's still Elders, Princes of Heaven (except Samael because he's an Elder and the Oldest) and then other angels. The Elders is a 10 headed council, with Samael and Metatron at the very top of it.

Samael is very prideful, but very loyal to Big G. He's that super stern big brother who has a scary temper with a open secret soft side for those he thinks are special to him, which is God, and his siblings.

PRE EDEN ARC IS DONE. (ps. im working on a fanart of my version of angel luci)

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel isekai review

did i say I was going to read something horrible for you? turns out it was horrible for me.

behold a fucking pre-amble. I think the idea of loving and being loved is a concept ambiguous enough for it to be idolized by almost anyone because the ways to love are so varied and different. unconditional, unrequited, toxic, wholesome, forbidden, destined, love has more modifiers then fucking charizard and oops we gotta update that sentence because someone on book tik tok has invented a new type of love known as Squimy love. what does this mean for your children? more at 11.

regardless we yearn for a type of romance or if you are aromantic a form of intimacy in the form of the platonic. in some cases we can form such ties with people we don't see, people that Do not know that you exist.

in worse cases, sometimes the people who don't know we exist want to foster that relationship further for their own benefit. Parasocial love.

im sure you heard it from whatever drama youtuber you have decided to use to funnel useless bits of rage bait into your ears but its a tale as old as creepy guys. streamer is a little to eager to play into the fantasy of the viewers, that they love them, that they thing You, that's right, You dear viewer are special...Then they use that to groom or take advantage of a kid and they don't go to jail and someone writes a long expose piece on them and you want them to get hit by a truck but god rarely allows such lovely Closure...

anyways that defeintly has nothing to do with the work we are unraveling today, right? right???

oh.

oh no....

god, just kill me... ok the premise is simple, the internet has been made by a reincarnated rando who has decided that anything in regards to adventuring and fighting is just not in the cards for him so he has decided to just be a streamer. The only streamer in the world...Well more of a podcaster, given his streams are soley voice. but lets not label spikes being driven into my head.

but hey, thats a intresting concept, the idea that someone has created the true information highway across a world that is fucking Eras to early for it, theres a lot of things that one can explo-

kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me, please, im begging, im pleading, im a fucking deer on the side on the road stareing at you with blank uncomprehending eyes, my comprehension of Big Block Of Metal screaming down the road is null, dont let up on the gas and turn me into a grease smear so I may obtain something resembling an iota of peace of mind

NOT EVERY FUCKING CHARECTER NEEDS TO BE THE STRONGEST, THEY DONT NEED TO HAVE THE MILLION MANA MULTIPLIER, ITS OK TO BE SOMEWHAT WEAK, DID LUFFY POP OUT OF THE BARREL SCREAMING GUM GUM GIGA COCK AND ONE SHOTTING EVERY POOR PRIVATEER AND BUCANNEER THAT SO DARED TO GIVE HIM ANYTHING OTHER THEM WARM PRAISE AND DELIGHTIED WELCOME?! NO, BECAUSE WE ARE ALLOWED TO ENJOY THE FACT THERE ARE STAKES, THAT NOT EVERY SITUATION IS ONE IN WHICH WE ARE IN SOLE COMMAND OF! THAT GIVES IT SPICE.

anyways they wont talk about this for ten additional chapters and then again for the arc finally so i'm going to ignore it and move on.

they also go to a school that accommodates commoners and nobals, but its also the first school that actully does this, which is really intresting as its a mixing of classes and allowing "commoner" students acess to higher education and training for magic for a war with the demon king, meaning is this truly for public betterment or is this a method of ensureing nobel students arent drafted into war due to magic potential by haveing a healthy supply of seemingly more expenda- oh? your bored? you want me to jinkle something in your face? oh i messed up that sentance? You Meant to say jiggle? ok cool

reaching the end of the comic we come to its inevitable Gimmick because one cannot be Fucked to try to make just one gimmick work. thats right, the streamer has developed a collection of accidental parasocial relationships with various well endowed women across the nation, each in astoundingly have posistions of power or in some way highly skilled.

Each woman dispite not knowing who the streamer is, never seeing his face are thusly so infatuated by the mere sound of his voice and the kind words he mutters that they have their brain matter utterly rewired, becomeing true devouts for their favorite streamer...

Rinse and repeat for 20 plus chapters and you get Shitty Ecchi Slop delivered out to be consumed en masse because men cannot hope to penetrate the core of male lonliness without true introspection which in turn is stymied by a hunered or so other dude bros who loathe the word and offer a far easier view in which to dye the world. thus they seak idea of being coveted by someone in mangas in increaseingly more convluted power fantasies...

IS WHAT I WANT TO END THIS ON BUT IT GETS WERIDER, DISPITE BEING SLOB THE AUTHOR IS BASED ON TWO AREAS IN PARTICULER,

HOLY SHITBALLS BATMAN, IS THAT AN ISEKAI CHARECTER THAT ISNT IMMEDITLY BUM RUSHING THE FUCKING SLAVE MAKRKET OR GIVING IT A TUT TUT?! IS THAT A HUMAN BEING WITH ACTUAL FUCKING EMPATHY?!

OH MY FUCKING GOD IN HEAVEN I DIDNT KNOW THOSE EXISTED, NOW AINT THAT THE SHINIEST FUCKING PENNY IN THE BUNCH, BUT OH PLEASE DO SAVE ROOM FOR DESERT BECAUSE IN THE SAME FUCKING CHAPTER

THEY BRING THE ABOLTION OF SLAVERY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS WORK FASTER THEN ABRAHAM LINCON AND HIS INDESCIVE BEARED ASS.

IMAGINE MY FUCKING SHOCK AND AWE, HEARING THE TERM SLAVE AND BEING AWASHED WITH THE TRUAMA OF WATCHING SO MANY BLACK HAIRED SAD EYED ANIME PRETTY BOYS EITHER DECIDEING TO BUY A SLAVE WHO ALSO JUST HAPPENS TO BE THE FUCKING POSTER CHILD FOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROM OR JUST SAYING "THAT SUCKS" AND LEAVEING IT BE, READY FOR THE INEVITABLE KNIFE IN THE HEART AND THEN BOOM, STREAMER SAYS SLAVERY IS BAD AND THEY GET RID OF IT, MAYBE I DO BELIVE IN THE POWER OF THE STREAMER.

DID YOU FILL UP ON SWEET SWEET ANTI FANTASY SLAVERY COOKIES?1 YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED ROOM FOR "GUY WITH NORMAL OPINIONS ABOUT SEX WORK"

I AM A CONVERT, I AM A DEVOUT, HAND TO THE HEAVENS I SHALL ESPOUSE THE VIRTUES AND DIVINITY OF THE STREAMER, WITH A WAVE OF THEIR VIRTUAL HAND SOCIETAL PROPLEM LOSE FLIGHT AND FALL TO THE EMBRACE OF THE COLD GRAVE, I JUST NEED A CHAPTER WHERE STREAMER SAYS TRANS RIGHTS AND I PROMISE I WILL NEVER EVER TALK SHIT ABOUT THIS SERIES AGAIN, PLEASE MR. STREAMER, JUST SAY TRANS RIGHTS ONE TIME, JUST ONE SINGULER TIME AND I CAN ASCEND THE RUNGS OF PEACE AND JOY.

turning down the notches this manga is funny in the fact that it pulls me back and fourth with wild abandon between utter and complete slop and genuinly funny bits and abnormally normal opinions for the genra.

"Is the underlying story, barring any other concept, good?" 

there really isnt a story, its just streamer talking and women going batshit insane.

"on a sliding scale of min to max, how much is the author using this to explore fetish" 

medium. the story has an obsession with the idea of yandere but it rarely goes into the idea of a stalker. the women are respectfull of his boundries barring one but that one is called the odd one out. aside from that, alot of scenes are just an ecuse to draw anime tits.

"How many story crutches does the author use to explore the story" 

it dosent need crutches because it has little to no intrest in telling a coherent story, it talks about what it wants and drops the rest.

 "Is the author attempting to use the story as a way to explain why he is not weird."

streamers can solve all of socitial ills as long as the women who they create parasocial relationships in are in posistions of high political power. .

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change

Chapter 4: Stemming the Tide

It’s hard to hold onto hope when panic and fear take root and start to spread, climbing the notches of his spine and weaving back and forth between his ribs. But Ryo knows now, that hope and fear can both exist at once—he’s seen it for himself.

The group witnesses something that looks a lot like a miracle, but it's still not enough to chase away everybody's fears. Ryo and Shuuji each find themselves with separate demons to battle as they resist the pull of despair.

ao3 link in source, extended end-of-chapter author's note below!

editing this chapter took WAY longer than usual. I do two proofreads per chapter before i post, and if i edit more than a couple of sentences at any point, i start the entire proofread over. needless to say, i did a LOT of editing and rereading before finally making it to my posting checklist. ultimately though im pretty happy with it. mostly im just so glad to have finally posted the scene that was jokingly titled "labramon the egg wizard" so i could talk about how much I enjoy the title "labramon the egg wizard". jokes that are for me

anyway, "labramon the egg wizard" is one of the first parts of this fic that i wrote! there's a skeletal outline of the events in that section in my replay notes, though a lot about that scene has changed since then. it was always going to be labramon who was gonna help out though! why labramon..? … … well she's a dog , and it made me go 'heheh' to think of her doing pointer behaviors. no other reason (:

i know we get renamon egg in moral, but i don't actually remember much of what that looked like because it lasted like 2 seconds. thats absolutely NOT what i wanted for shuuji - i wanted it to be a scene that completely bodies him, where hes got this unexpected second chance hovering just beyond his reach, but he has to confront exactly what he's done in order to get it. i dont remember a lot of 02, but that one episode where ken goes looking for wormmons egg has this very specific vibe where its like, "here's some hope for you when youre at your lowest but never forget that you seriously fucked it up". it was brutal but beautiful and then i cried a bunch i think. idk it was a long time ago. maybe im completely misremembering that scene, who can say. thats how it lives in my memories tho

in any case, i definitely wanted it to be from ryo's perspective for the same reason that the aftermath of wendimon was from his pov. he's so much more observant than shuuji, who would not take notice of what the others are doing and saying while he's in the middle of getting pingponged between hope and gut-wrenching remorse.

the middle section, titled in the draft as "mcfreakin losin it", was a lot of fun too! the Plan(tm) at the beginning was something i edited in pretty late in proofreading. having an itemized list like that might feel more like a "shuuji thing" than a "ryo thing", but i think ryo's active effort to take responsibility and try to help kunemon with what hes stressed about would lend to him trying to come up with something a little more concrete. unfortunately for ryo, he has no backup plan for when the first one is turned upside down, and we all know what happens when something catches him off guard lmao. it was actually really interesting to write ryo in a position where he's witnessing more or less what he himself is like when he shuts down. being the one who has to snap shuuji out of this state has ryo realizing that this is what takuma and kunemon have to deal with when he's the one freaking out. i think that's kinda fun.

the last section has what feels to me like the most editing. it really wasn't a section that i spent a lot of time fiddling with until now because the bulk of it was quoting or paraphrasing existing dialogue from the start of part 6 for context, then diverging into what that scene looks like in a world where lopmon isn't around to be unable to explain what happened. like i said on ao3, as i was reading over the canon dialogue in truthful for reference, i realized i really just…didn't like it much. the argument escalates and de-escalates several times but never to a degree that feels all that extreme, and ends up feeling like it's just dragging out for no reason. people make their points at times that feel WEIRD, particularly ryo. lemme see if i can explain this.

so ryo doesnt say this til the latter half of this argument, and i HATED THAT because it's like… after everything he's been through with kunemon, it doesn't feel right that he's having those doubts. but i thought about it and i actually think it makes sense for him to have a momentary lapse where he slips back into old habits - letting fear take over and pushing away anything and anyone that has even the slightest chance of hurting him. he spent a LOT of time in that mindset, and even though he's working on reversing it, it's not gonna happen in a day. that said… the placement of ryo's doubts in the canon dialogue still feels super weird. i think it makes a lot more sense for him to panic at the very beginning of this argument, and then calm down as he remembers how solid his bond with kunemon is before sticking up for the digimon a little more aggressively. it just feels so passive in-canon when i think he would have taken a much more active role in defending falcomon and the others once 1) he remembers the context surrounding what happened in the waterway, and 2) he's reminded of how kunemon has helped him change.

i know some of the weird pacing of this dialogue is because the player needs to have input at some point, but i think takuma could've been much more powerless during this argument - the game has no problem taking away agency, since saving ryo is the only thing that will save shuuji, no matter what the player does. maybe im nitpicking, idk.

regardless, minoru's dialogue makes the most sense, but i still think it could have been condensed into a much sharper and more sudden escalation. it keeps being like "(minoru voice) IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) chill" "(minoru voice) oops sorry. … … … IM MAD IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) calm down" "(minoru voice) oops. … … … IM MAD IM MAD" etc etc etc. it just made the argument feel weak and drawn-out instead of intense and explosive.

i did keep some of it though! i thought that minoru's paranoia and sudden fear of trusting his partner was pretty compelling, which is why i kept those doubts in and quoted the lines about him wanting falcomon to prove his loyalty.

i chose those lines specifically because they say a LOT about minoru once you connect this argument with what i think is the root of his insecurities - his parents' divorce.

it's funny because as far as im aware, The Divorce doesn't even come up unless you choose an INCORRECT ANSWER in an OPTIONAL affinity event with minoru. im not 100% sure thats the only mention though! im currently at pt8 of my replay where the goal is to see every bit of truthful route dialogue possible. if it comes up in other routes, i managed to miss it lmao. anyway, because of that, for the longest time i thought The Divorce was just a popular headcanon, and didn't actually see that dialogue until recently. but as soon as i did i started looking at the stuff he does and says through the lens of somebody who was affected extremely poorly by his parents divorce, and it contextualized A LOT for me. suddenly the way he reacts in pt 6 makes so much sense, because imo falcomon turning around and killing him isn't his only concern: he's also terrified that he was vulnerable in front of someone who doesn't actually care.

pre-game minoru lacks a support system, and is afraid to rely on a new one. im not going to go on about it for too long because we'd be here all day, but im pretty sure that his parents divorce was MESSY, and he witnessed all of it. that same event where he mentions to takuma that his parents are divorced is also when he says that he doesn't think his mom has noticed that he's missing, even though at this point the kids believe that they've been gone for several days. he doesn't see his mother as support because she's too busy working, and since he doesn't even know where his father currently lives, clearly he doesnt get much if any support from his dad. the difficulty minoru has in shedding the goofy exterior and being genuine and vulnerable in front of people makes me think that he never found a support system to replace the one that he watched crumble in realtime when his parents split.

prior to part 6, we can assume that minoru started to see falcomon as someone that he could allow to see his insecurities. i also believe that minoru understood that shuuji and lopmon's relationship was supposed to look a lot like his and falcomon's, or like anybody else and their partner's. minoru could see lopmon trying to be supportive, so the dysfunction only seemed like it was on shuuji's end. so when lopmon flies off the handle and tries to murder shuuji, one of the things that minoru gets from it is that, no, actually, the trust and support that the digimon have for their partners is NOT unconditional. i think that watching this happen looks exactly like how it felt when the support system he'd had in his parents completely fell apart, except the lopmon situation comes with a fun extra "I'm going to kill you" sort of vibe that tells minoru that his relationship with falcomon is just not safe.

or worse, maybe that support system was never real in the first place. what if there was something darker beneath the surface that he just couldn't see?

anyway.

now, as dracmon says, all we gotta do is hurry up and wait. well. you do. i dont, im gonna be editing chapter 5 til the cows come home. im getting the distinct impression that it's gonna require even more reworking than this chapter did.

but that's neither here nor there - id love to hear your Gamer Theories about what im cooking up. there are a few things that are still going unaddressed after four chapters, and i wonder how much of it can be puzzled out based on what i've said so far. obviously im not able to see the story from a reader's perspective, so im not really able to gauge if the stuff that's being foreshadowed or otherwise implied is starting to become clearer. so please consider leaving a comment with what you think, or your favorite part or anything else that stood out to you! I'd much appreciate it. thank you for reading, and see you… mm… nnnnext…week…? ideally.

[justanotherstory]

Unspoken...

Well I wanted the first post of 2024 to be something grand, exciting perhaps I wished to post a year rewind which is still in my drafts folder incomplete.. But now it's just a random thought or maybe its a result of an ongoing situation idk...if I'll post this or will stay in my drafts folder yet again...

So usually when I think rather overthink about something, I write it down somewhere, maybe on a piece of a torn notebook paper in a gibberish handwriting that no one else could read...or I just post it on Snapchat like a random snap..But Idk why but let's just write it down here only..

Okay so, imagine like sitting in a room lit with bright lights all around, and suddenly the power goes off..and everything turns dull and dark..and it's not like for a couple of minutes or soo... So obviously you start to panic, and its like pitch dark you cannot see a thing .. naturally you'll start searching for a source of light, even a tiniest source of light.. suddenly you realise you have your phone so you switch on its flashlight..its not that bright and can't lit up the whole room but now you feel a bit relaxed, and for the next few hours or till the time power returns this flashlight is your only support . But suddenly the power comes back , everything is back to normal..bright and clear.. The room is so lit up now that the flashlight is now useless..Even if you switch it on or switch it off..its doens't make any difference its worthless now..and slowly you start forgetting about that flashlight which helped you cope the dark times..

This is how I feel these days..I feel like the flashlight who tried its best to bring light in someone's life but all its efforts were just not enough..Yeah, I'm happy that they have something brighter now, they are now in a better place but what about me? Did they forget that I exist??

You know they say a person cannot choose his family, his parents his relatives but out of the  only relations he can choose the most important ones are his friends. And now me being the most indecisive person to ever exist can't even choose the correct set of friends!!

"People in friendship talk about being besties forever, and till infinity but little did I know that sometimes forever is just couples days or years and some infinities are smaller that the other infinity.."

Yeah..soo that's it thats it for the day.. Ik..Ik. its very raw and "random" and not something that I usually post but ..who cares....this is how I have been feeling and wanted to vent and so I did!! This was' Just Another Story '.

And this is me,

Signing Off !! <<33

[haeroniel-doliet]

Bonus content!! Please feel free to enjoy the process timelapse of the most recent thing I made for the Avantris Valentines gift exchange!

I am gonna have a little ramble about some thoughts on this one below the cut, mostly for my own future reference and anyone curious!

Hey there! fun fact I turned on recording a few art projects ago and I think its genuinely helping me a lot to keep a reference like it for how each process vs finished product was!

First of all, please do not pay mind to the janky final few seconds, I cut the canvas size down and clearly the recording did not enjoy that :')

As usual, had a bit of a hard time figuring out exactly what I wanted to do, and just threw shit at the wall literally doodling anything and everything, and literally just ended up thinking lol, thats kinda funny and building from there

Generally, I do a super rough thumbnail style idea, then one of very large shapes to block out what goes where before finally going onto do the first draft, that I try do real fast so I can get all ideas on paper and all mistakes visible before I dedicate in too hard

(I was feeling stuck honestly at this stage, so I decided to slap some colours on for fun to see if I even like the big picture at all, and funny enough a good few friends did suggest that thats totally good enough right? But it didn't feel like something I was proud of so I got a week or so of a break before breaking into the full clean drawing/lining process which does take ages but turned out quite lovely here I think

Praise be references again!! Granted, here I got off quite easy, I really only used the official character art + a few screenshots of Andy + a pretty crow I found online. No, wait actually, I remember I had a terrible horrible time trying to find the exact kind of pose or even hand reference online for some reason, so I did take my own photos to make it work!

Oh so the thing I learned, idk if you can spot it, in the colouring in stage, I was trudging through Jericho on the left as I normally do, dreading the lack of time I had left and how long just flat colours would take, right? Then by Marius I was exhausted, worried I would actually have nothing to gift my giftee, and decided hell at least I can make a highly stylised just filled in with a relevant colour thing, right? And if I do have the time to finish it, I can always use them as a sort of wash/colour unifying overlay! Here, I remembered the fill tool exists hahh, and I just had to make a few lil work arounds like not letting colours touch each other and boom, speed!

but thing is, I was still spending forever gently outlining my tiny 4 pixel wide lines to not make it sloppy, when I learned about this groovy lil contiguous selection tool (lil magic wand icon!) and boom I can select a coloured in region, invert selection and colour in with like a few broad strokes total! Absolutely a game changer

So I did manage to absolutely speed through the rest, deciding fuck it I am gonna do my best to do at least a lil rendering, even if doing a beautiful full perfect job wouldve taken at least an extra week probably, and I think it doesn't suffer much for it!

The background btw is from my lovely friends suggestions, something simple that suggests a vaguely transitional moment in time, and i thought some sunset like colours would also be a bit valentines appropriate!

And, this recording is 69,441 frames long (would've been so god damn funny if it was 69,420 though) and I crunched some numbers, where I wouldve spent at minimum like 20 hours of active constant drawing on this! Thats, a good chunk honestly and maybe hopefully now with this colouring trick I can get even more efficient!

Anyway, despite the rush at the end where I felt like my hand would fall off from drawing so much so quickly (felt about as stressed in a good way as for my thesis lol) I am beginning to be proud of the end result and i'm very glad my giftee liked it too!! Time to face the scary concept of sharing this in the big discord server hahaaaaahh

Heres to trying to draw a bit more and hopefully be more chill about it!! Although, I do love the satisfaction I get from making all the lil details too (fun fact, I hid a ton of tiny lil hearts super subtly all throughout them, i.e. in the rose centres)

I don't imagine anyone has made it here and read all this, but hi! if you did, please do leave a like or a comment or so, I'm very interested to know if this was at all interesting to anyone but me! Also I love chatting about art!!

[ghost-of-the-machine]

i know i just said im not ashamed but im SO ASHAMED you have no idea. over what? it

i have this weird mindset where like. if someone gets to know me for one particular things, whether it be a specific fandom or even just DRAWING HUMANS, i feel like i can never ever share my other interests with them cuz.. what if they dont care? i wouldnt blame them i cant make anyone give a shit about what i do but. ITS TERRIFYING TO ME.. so i just avoid it but. its leaving me very.. unfulfilled? like HORRIBLY, ive set aside a lot of my other interests because im . i dont care what strangers think, fuck you suck my dick but. people i know? people im close with? i know why i do it, hes right it feels like a test and tests can go wrong!!!! what if i test the waters and its not received positively? i cant bear the thought of any part of me being unappealing to my loved ones, genuinely it keeps me up at night fearing that some small thing might just switch it all off overnight its the worst thing ever.

i know its not healthy to just... shove myself into this little box but in my head, thats why they want! in my head its a good thing, i need to keep myself presentable and perfect, as perfect as someone like me can get anyways

maybe thats why i feel like i dont exist without them? ive literally pushed away anything i think they WONT like or even wont care about, ive just.. dropped it all. fear, it just comes from fear, but whew!!!!! exhausting

im not proud of this, i wish that changing myself to fit what i THINK someone wants wouldnt come so naturally to me but it does, i wish my brain worked differently

i just. i need to LOOK OUT for myself. the worst pain i can experience is rejection, its amplified 10000% it feels like. i know ive said before id rather relive all my trauma than feel rejected at all, and thats still TRUE i cant handle it.. as unfortunate as it is, bpd just makes me sensitive. theres like no other way to word it, i am SENSITIVE my skin is fragile its made of glass, i cant take criticism even if its GOOD because it hurts me to think that something i did wasnt good enough, it makes me sick actually!! i need to protect myself, i need to hide the parts of me that could be damaged like that but.. hiding parts of yrself doesnt feel good, does it? im scared of that pain, i dont want to face it.. but it doesnt feel nice to lose myself cuz i think its what someone would want

in my head this is how it goes, i do something, its received poorly (rejected), ouch!!! first of all. second of all, rejection cracks my image, it opens me up to the possibility of being left behind. bpd is all about black and white thinking. the good is the best and the bad is the WORST. it feels shameful to admit how my brain works but it . its true, its the truth. if someone doesnt like something about me, even if its SMALL and they dont actually care, in my head it means they basically dont like me, they must hate me! they must hate me and theyre probably gonna leave me since theyre so disgusted with me for.. what? being a furry? yes!!!!!!!!!! it goes from 0-100 so fast, its scary

but.. i really DONT feel like i exist without them. if im not talking with them about our things, im working on my things they know and like alright im never really doing anything else anymore.. like. why am i so ashamed to just... be a human with interests? im scared, scared the smallest thing will just... take it all away from me, yknow? as much as id LOVE to ramble about my ocs and stuff that ive never really talked about, that shame persists. its too strong, i end up just deleting the post or hiding it in drafts, i cant bring myself to share because im scared

i know its really dumb but. its what we're working with rn!!!! mild disinterest = rejection = abandonment, what a vicious cycle!!! i get it now guys omg.... all the bpd girlies who mirror, i know i mirror too but i never really like. GOT IT until now, i mirror cuz im afraid to be something they wont like!!!! it is all so clear to me now. doesnt make it better but whatever. maybe ill be brave one day, but idk

[zickzackschere]

How it is to be the sidecharacter

the following post is a text i´ve just found in my drafts. I apparently wrote it when i was 23, so that was 2 years ago. Crazy. It`s just as raw and pure as it contains a good amount of spelling mistakes. My brain and fingers work too fast and i don`t care enough to correct it, even though i know where i did mistakes. Whatever I`m losing myself here, i just wanted to post this sweet treasure of a draft. I wonder why i never published it. Time to change that now.

Love can be like a drug. Like a really strong one. probably the strongest one there is on earth, worst case deadly too. i realized love and hate are more related than it seems in the beginning. first it sucks u up completely your consuming, find yourself in the state of ecstasy. but as every good drug we know that the effects dont last forever. you will sober up and realize the aftermaths very soon. I loved a lot the last 1 1/2 years, heck yeah i loved a lot in my entire life-. I am a real loving person. i love love. its pure, its endless, its as undescribable as intangible. You get lost in it, you swim in the sweet waters of love as long as your breath doesnt get short and your arms get sore, as long as you just float and go with the flow everything is fine. but there must be an interruption because nothing lasts forever- not even existence itself.  so we just wait for the next turning point, we know there will be one-.

Maybe im just in my cynic tumblr blogger mood again but if tumblr is good for one thing, than its that i can write whatever i want , not having the feeling i get watched by people i know or i care about.

so how it is being a sidecharcter you ask yourself as you read that catchy title? I know it has a taste of self pity but give me that moment.

I’m 23. Im bad at staying focused. i am good at loving people. i am bad at keeping things organized. i am good at listening. i am bad at taking care of myself sometimes. i am good at giving advice to other people. I am bad at fulfilling expectations. I am good at forgiving.

im sick of being the one whos just here to therapy people. Im not perfect myself, need a lot to learn still. i dont want to sound like that but it must be said.

im sick of playing the motherrole, being responsible, taking things in my own hand and doing things for other people- especially for my partners. i dont want to carry them on my hands until im on the ground with no energy left for myself to walk. sick of it. done with it. im sick of doubting myself. im great. im good. i deserve the same love that i give. i deserved to be carried for a while.

Where is my selflove? i mean im a little responsible for it too, i rather take care of other people than myself.

nobody likes you when youre 23. I guess there i have it. except that nobody is just me.

But 2022 is the year of the tiger and the year i turn 24-my lucky number.

i would say thats enough for me said that it will be a good year. doesnt say that the actual year is crap, but maybe a year full of lessons. as every damn one. the fuck im even talking i really dont know anymore.

[aleximustd13]

if you still do wip weather asks then sleet, sun, clear skies, drought, volcanic eruption <3

Sleet - What's the most you've ever written in one sitting?

I honestly don't know, because when im in the zone(TM) i forget to even look at the word counter, but i believe at least 1k/1.5k words (it was like 1 am and i was writing smut, maybe thats how i got my motivation that time)

Sun - What's your favourite part of your WIP?

ohhh there are many. in bulletproof bandits, i absolutely love the part where russell and dylan meet frankie (i cant even take credit for that bc you wrote it, but yeah, its one of my fave moments) and when russell goes Beast Mode and becomes the joker (for everyone else who hasnt read bb, no i wont provide context). the entirety of chapter 7 is also pretty good for uhm reasons 👁️👁️

in the nikkixreader fic im currently writing however, my favourite part is uh... the smut i dont know if i have a favourite part (yet), i just like it all so far, i like how its progressing

Clear skies - How long have you been writing your current WIP?

I had the idea for Bulletproof Bandits back in high school, around 2017/2018 i believe, but my very first drafts are from january 18th, 2020. ive been working on it on and off ever since, then i started seriously writing and drawing it this january

the fic im writing though was started on may 2021 and i havent touched until a few weeks ago, when i remembered it existed

Drought - What do you do to help with Writer's block?

i usually take my mind off of the piece im writing by doing something else. go outside, listen to music that might have the vibe im looking for, waste time on tumblr, read!! i cant stress this enough, reading other fics or even books helps me a lot. smoking helps me think too (smoking is bad though, dont listen to me)

Volcanic Eruption - What's your biggest flaw as a writer?

I already answered this, but to think about it, i have something else to add: the fact that my writing style is a bit bland in some parts, or at least i'm afraid it is. i would never admit it, but im still very insecure about it bc i feel like it's not as recognizable as i'd like it to be? idk if you get me

[WIP weather ask game!!]

[karmicpunishment]

@inamagicalhallucination

yes!!

dazai's and atsushi's are both in hard-to-see/reach places in my head

dazai's is right under his hairline/back of his neck and is usually hidden by hair and/or bandages. atsushi's is behind his right ear.

/

atsushi found out about it for the first time when those other kids held him down and cut his hair, they saw the mark and told him about it (the kindest thing anyone ever did for him there, right alone with one of the cruelest)

he didn't know how to read coordinates or anything but it was a beacon of hope for him for the rest of his time in the orphanage. he knew enough to determine it was around yokohama, so thats where he headed when he got kicked out

/

dazai's is seen (and certainly noted) by mori before he even knows it exists. the next person to see it is chuuya, he doesn't mention it (he thinks dazai knows)

it's not until the first time dazai gets injured enough on a job to need yosanos help (even if she can't use her ability on him) that anyone tells him

yosano is like "oh hey, you have the mark too! guess it makes sense, everyone in the agency has had it so far." and dazai is freaking the fuck out (internally, he'd never show it)

/

kunikida was the first one to see his mark, figure out where it was for and seek out the agency on his own. (his is along side his pointer finger on his right hand.)

/

ranpo's is on his left collarbone and fukuzawas is right over his heart

they find out about them a few weeks after they meet and go find the building together. its not until after they meet natsume that they know what the building will be used for.

/ yosano discover's hers as a kid and is excited about it, even if she doesn't know what it means. hers is wrapped about her left ankle.

after being drafted she forgets about it mostly, only occasionally rubbing it for luck during the beginning of the war. by the end of it she's so out of it she honestly forgets it exists.

only after she's been taken into the agency by ranpo and fukuzawa does she rediscover it, while relearning to walk. she's more shocked than she should be when the other two show her their matching ones. ranpo just grins at her and tells her he knew she belonged there the whole time.

/

kenjis is scrawled across his right cheekbone and it's the first thing fukuzawa notices when he goes to meet him in his village. kenji doesn't know how to read coordinates but he can certainly recognize the matching mark on fukuzawas chest.

he's frankly overjoyed to meet the rest of the agency and is eager to go (though he'll miss his village) he wants to meet his soul family

/

kyouka grows up knowing her mark, located on her hip. her parents are happy about it, teach her about it and find out where it leads. they tell her, if she's ever in danger, if something happens to them, to go to this place and find these people with the same mark. she promises she will.

it doesn't work out that way.

kyouka's mark is the only secret she manages to keep in the mafia. she does whatever she has to to hid it and never tells anyone, not akutagawa, not kouyou and definitely not the boss.

it's not until she sees the mark behind atsushi's ear when he collapses onto her after saving her on the train does she realize she's finally getting to do what she promised her parents.

/

the tanizaki's both have their marks on their wrists, naomi on her left and junichiro on his right.

they came into the agency, naomi leading her brother, wrist first with two applications in hand.

/

and since im an ada!sigma truther!!!

sigma is brought into the world with coordinates for a place he doesn't know on the bottom of his foot. :-D

soulmate au with group bonds (a single bond shared across multiple ppl) where every member of the ada has the coordinates of the agency building somewhere on their body and thats partially how they find their way to each other

[teeforhee]

hmmm in what situations do I call myself an abuse victim and in what situations do I call myself an abuse survivor? what social purpose does choosing one of those terms over the others serve? is a 6 month relationship long enough to call myself either? the answer to that last one is yes for sure I am well aware but still. questions to discuss with my therapist at our next session.