#its hard to find time to write
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boyfeminism · 1 year ago
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listening to brando sandos lectures has been really helpful but trying to outline just frustrates me. i was trying to find some stuff on discovery / pantsing / gardening writing but most of the articles on is are like "none of you understand what discovery writing is, if you outline at all youre gonna burn in hell, you Wish you were a discovery writer" girl what
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stevebabey · 7 months ago
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you're the only one for me, baby
1.7k, steddie, one of them getting so drunk that they don't recognise the other and telling them back off i've already got a boyfriend, it's all sweetness <3 likely a modern!au and actually just goobers in love
Eddie doesn't really drink. He's not against partying but he's much more attuned to smoking a little weed to take the edge off, sometimes a spliff if he wants to mix a little business and pleasure.
Eddie doesn't really drink—so when he does, it goes about as well as expected.
From zero to a hundred.
Steve had lost track of him after directing his stumbling feet towards the bathroom to take a leak. But apparently, as he's now found out, this bathroom has two doors.
What the fuck kind of bathroom has two doors, like some weird thoroughfare?
Regardless, it took all of five minutes with no noises coming from the inside before Steve had loudly announced he was coming in, no matter what, getting quite worried for his boyfriend.
He trusted Eddie to not be too sloshed to handle a piss, even if he was on the wilder side tonight, but still leaned up against the door to chase off anyone else looking to knock—because Eddie hilariously gets pee-shy.
The door had opened easily, apparently unlocked, and Steve had stepped into the empty bathroom. The other door across the room, the one he hadn't noticed until now, was wide open to the party.
So, now he's on the hunt for Eddie.
Which is a task that feels a little bit like herding cats because drunk Eddie isn't something Steve has a lot of experience with. But what he does know, is this: it's the opposite of high Eddie.
Stoned, Eddie likes to find the comfiest place he can (usually Steve's lap, or so he proclaims) and sink into it, like melting wax. Then, given he has access to adequate snacks, he doesn't move for quite some time.
Drunken Eddie cannot even fathom the concept of sitting still.
Either way, looking where there's food is a good as a place to start as any.
Steve ambles out the strange two-doored bathroom and flips his head back and forth, trying to remember the direction of the kitchen. He hasn't been here before—one of Eddie's band connections—and Steve's still had a couple beers himself.
He shakes his head and takes a left, relieved when it leads to the stairs. Okay, he sort of knows where he's going now. They had only come upstairs to find the quieter bathroom for Eddie.
As Steve reaches the bottom of the stairs, a faint stir of irritation flashes through him. Eddie just left him behind? That wasn't that nice, even if he was incredibly drunk.
He can hear the din of people chattering just above the music and he follows it, leading him into the half-full kitchen, people dotted around. There's a few pizza boxes scattered around and Steve eyes each of them specifically, looking for the tell-tale wipe of Eddie's greasy fingers. No dice.
Steve wrinkles his nose, spinning around and double checking before he moves on.
If not by the food, then... where?
Steve takes a few steps forward into the living room, his heart beginning to sink and shrivel all at once. There was a miserable feeling attached to looking for his partners at a party, a wallowing and awful memory tied to the feeling.
Steve pushes a hand across his chest roughly, as if trying to shove the feeling away.
Eddie wasn't... her. Eddie wouldn't do that.
But the moment he's thought it, it's stuck in his head. Steve's feet begin to speed up, checking a little more carelessly as he starts to stick his head in different rooms, his hazel eyes jumping around. Not Eddie, not Eddie, not Eddie—so many people and none of them are Eddie.
Until—there. Steve spots a very familiar looking behind as it leans over the back of the couch, the owner of said-behind talking to someone sitting on the couch.
He blinks, just to be sure, but the details come into better focus. There's chains on his belt loops and when he shakes his head, Steve can see the curls he loves to bury his hands into.
Eddie.
Steve's relief pulls him forward, his feet almost stumbling, his mouth pulling into a relieved smile. He puts a hand out, fingers spread, across the leather-clad back.
"Eds," Steve says, relief colouring his voice.
Eddie swings up abruptly, pushing himself off the couch. When he turns, a bit of liquid sloshes out of the beer bottle he's holding.
"Heyyy," The words come out a bit slurred and when he finally stands straight, he doesn't look right at Steve. "Handsssss off the merchandise, buddy."
Steve chuckles, reaching out and plucking the bottle from his boyfriend's grasp. Eddie gawps, an adorable little hiccup interrupting his shocked expression.
"Hey," He says loudly, reaching forward for it fruitlessly as Steve pulls it out reach. "That's mine." Eddie whines.
"You've had more than enough, I think." Steve says. He steals just one gulp of it before he turns at puts it on a nearby table. When he turns back, Eddie is frowning at him, brows pulled together tightly and bottom lip jutting out.
"Listen—" Eddie leans forward, jabbing a finger into Steve's chest. "I dunnowhoyouthinkyouare," The words come out in a one big jumble and Steve frowns.
What? Something sour claws into Steve's chest at the frosty greeting.
"Eddie," Steve says, his hazel eyes wide and worried as his gaze darts between Eddie's squinted face and swaying form.
Steve reaches out to put a hand on his waist, aiming to steady him, but Eddie sees it coming and widens his eyes comically. He swerves back to avoid it, his boots tilting dangerously on the wooden floors. If he was still holding his beer, Steve bets half of it would be on the floor by now.
"Wo-oah," Eddie exaggerates, waving a hand out and batting Steve's outstretched arm away. The rottenness in Steve's chest blooms, rancid and freezing. He sucks in a sharp breath.
"Ed—"
"I—" Eddie says, holding up his hand and waggling one finger at Steve, like he's a naughty schoolboy. His words still have that drunken slur to them.
"—already have a boyfriend, thank you very much. He's much too pretty to be throwing it away for the likes of you, you weasel of a man..." His ludicrous and nonsensical insult trails off under his breath as Eddie's attention is drawn away by a shout across the room.
As he watches Eddie drape himself back over the couch, the sourness between Steve's ribs shifts, transforming into something infinitely sweeter. He lets out a dazed laugh, a wild smile spreading on his face before he can smother it beneath his hand.
I'm dating a lunatic, Steve thinks happily.
He reaches out and steals Eddie's beer once more, taking another large swig before giving it another go.
This time, he sidles up beside Eddie who's engaged back in conversation with one of the guys on the couch, and just waits. It only takes a minute before the dude on the couch seems to realise who Steve's waiting for and he nudges Eddie, gesturing behind him.
Eddie, still bent over the back of the couch, twists only his head to look. This time, the recognition is immediate.
He springs up, pushing the couch forward an inch in his excitement and leaps forward, his hands clawing into Steve's shoulder with a fierce delight.
"Steeeeve," Eddie croons, crowding in close. His hands start moving, fingers searching like curious spiders, fingertips dancing along the sensitive skin of Steve's neck til he's squirming back, laughter betraying him.
"Stop it." He laughs. Steve arrests Eddie's wrists in his hand and Eddie cackles, using the pause to surge forward, kissing him square on the mouth.
Eddie tastes like the beer he's been drinking and Steve barely gets a moment to enjoy it before Eddie's pulling back, leaning forward so they're forehead to forehead.
"I was looking for you." Eddie says, his doe eyes wide. His pupils grow larger the longer he stares at Steve.
Steve grins. "Uh huh. Looking for me between the couch cushions, were you?"
Eddie rears back, his head flipping as he stares back at the couch and then back at Steve. "Nuh uh. I came out the bathroom and you were goooone."
That explains it. Eddie must have left out the other door — and then thought Steve had left him behind and gone hunting for him. Something else settles in Steve's chest, relieved.
"And—" Eddie hiccups. "—and some guy tried to- to freakin' flirt with me. Can you believeee?"
Steve's grin widens by a mile. "Is that so? What you'd tell him?"
"No, of course!" Eddie says, head pulled back as if he's appalled Steve would think otherwise. He shakes his hands out of Steve's grip and drops them, fumbling for a moment to get his fingers into Steve's belt loops.
When he does, he yanks Steve forward a tad too forcefully, their bodies colliding in a way that's more sore than sexy. Eddie continues on as if he doesn't notice. "Even if he was particularly tasty," He murmurs, his lips tracing the column of Steve's throat.
"I let him know, baby." Eddie all but purrs.
And perhaps if the competition Eddie was beating off was literally anyone other than himself, Steve would be right there with him.
Instead, he can't contain his snort of laughter. Eddie was perfect; he was a possessive and drunken dog, barking up the wrong damn tree. Steve loves him.
"You're laughing," Eddie states plainly, even as his doe eyes manage to grow even more round. Steve can't help it, it just makes him laugh more.
"Treason." Eddie declares. Then using the belt loops to keep Steve captive, he leans in and blows a raspberry on his neck.
Steve lets out an unattractive squawk, his laughter melting into Eddie's as he pushes his boyfriend's face away — to which Eddie simply lets himself go limp, his face cradled and held up solely by Steve's hands.
"Christ," Steve says between his laughs, shifting his hand to hold him more tenderly. Eddie smiles dopely, then puckers his lips and closes his eyes.
Steve rolls his eyes, entirely too endeared. "Alright, c'mere," He gives in, leaning and kissing Eddie, short and sweet. When he pulls back, Eddie's eyes are open, starry and gazing up at him. He gives a dreamy sounding sigh. Steve's heart fizzles, like it's full of pop-rocks.
"Ready to go?"
"As long as it's with you, baby." Eddie says, sounding every bit like he means it.
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vaguely-concerned · 7 months ago
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
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flovoid · 4 days ago
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𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔉𝔬𝔵 𝔠𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤? 𝔬𝔯 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔏𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔶𝔢𝔱, 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔠𝔯𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔬𝔩𝔣 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔥𝔬𝔴𝔩𝔰 𝔱�� 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔪𝔟 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔬𝔰…
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s0fter-sin · 7 months ago
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
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bluerosefox · 2 years ago
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Daughter of Phantom, Lady Gotham.
I love Lady Gotham stuff in the DCxDP stories, like a lot, so what if, hear me out (Long post is long, I rambled again)
Lady Gotham is Danny's daughter.
How? How about Danny is hurt (his parents? GIW? Vlad?), like badly, to the point even his core is damaged and the time needed to heal would take years, like a lot of years. Like it was bad that even his Rogues were shocked and shaken. They eventually get him to the Realms but are unsure what to do next. So they're scrambling trying to figure out how to save him.
So when CW appeared he asked to handed the Core because he knows what to do, where to hide him so he can heal they don't question it, everyone in the Realms know CW, the Ancient of Time itself, has a soft spot for Phantom. He opens a portal to a different world, not Danny's he can't run the risk of GIW finding him, to a just beginning world, the new world will help speed up his healing, and with Frostbite's help they set up a healing chamber deep, deep in the ground. Once they made sure everything is set up and safe, they place his core inside the healing pod and return every so often to check on him.
Over time though, above on the surface of that world it's timeline starts. Animals, creatures, humans, aliens, magic users, etc etc begin and with it, because even as a half healing core, Danny's power and ectoplasm starts effecting the area he's resting in (Ghost King Danny? Young/New Ancient/Eldritch Being? Or just an OP Danny?) (Clockwork and even Frostbite showing up every so often doesn't help either, it explains why Gotham is so cold sometimes or why time seems... off)
Anyways due to Danny's power (along with bits of Clockwork and Frostbite), magic of this world, and people beginning to build a small town on top of the land it gives birth to the namesake of the town.
GOTHAM.
CW foresaw her 'birth' and finds her sitting in front of Danny's healing pod. He always knew Gotham would eventually form, the belief/love her people have in her would had given her a form eventually he just wasn't expecting her to form so soon (this is why Danny remains his favorite person, he always did something CW never really see's to often) nor was he expecting her to become Danny's daughter. Gotham looks a bit like Danny, dark hair, blue eyes, pointed ears, sharp teeth, glowing star like freckles, but she also reflects her people, the ones that call Gotham home so her image shifts sometimes. But he can see small hints of maybe himself and Frostbite in the shifts.
She is 100% Danny's daughter via spirit/ectoplasm. If anything CW and Frostbite are like many times removed family members when it comes down to ectoplasm.
She's silent for a moment before she asks if "You and the other come here often to see him... The one sleeping is he my father?" Which CW does confirm, he explains why Danny is healing and who he and Frostbite are and why they show up to make sure he is doing better. How his healing will take many, many years. She goes silent again before saying "Teach me how to protect him. I am new and young compared to others... and yet I already know if anyone desires him for the power he gives, they will stop at nothing. He is my father and I am his daughter, I need to keep him safe just how I know he would keep me safe. This much I know."
CW agrees.
She learns, from her father's allies (CW, Frostbite, Pandora, etc etc) how to defend and fight. How to protect what she loves. She watches over her father and fights off demon's, monsters, sometimes an alien that senses the slumbering power, evil magic users. Etc. She watches over the town and people who named her as well, falls in love with the humans who call her home as well and defends them as well.
She even gets the blunt force of a curse a powerful old entity that tired to place it on her father after she had just banished it from her lands. It's an old powerful curse that CW or Frostbite can't rid of because it would weaken her far to much that they run the risk of her fading, the only way to get rid of it is if she had a family member feeding her ectoplasim to help sustain her. (Her aunts can't because Jazz isn't ghostly enough and Danielle can't because hers is limited due to being a clone (like she has enough for herself but does need to visit the Infinite Realms during her travels to get more ectoplasim to filter in and out). Danny is their only chance because he's constantly filtering ectoplasim in and out and even creating it because of how he died with a portal opening up at the same time)
The curse slowly starts eating away at Gotham, makes it hard for her to have a solid corporeal form because pain (when she has to use this form to fight off others she has to bare through the pain), her appearance starts changing (eyes turn from sharp ice blue to glowing yellow, skin turns deathly sickly pale, her star freckles slowly blinking in and out, hands become inked claws, her dark hair is unkempt and spills like an oil sludge down her body and face) and because Danny is still healing himself he can't help her and she can't see him all too often anymore because she doesn't want to run the risk of the curse effecting his healing core, she does get updates from the other ghosts that visit him and then her. She still defends him though, outside of his healing chambers should on the rare chance something finds it way down to him.
Eventually due to Danny's and Gotham's natural ectoplasim filtering on the lands, visiting and powerful ghosts, Gotham fighting off powerful beings trying to use her father for power, and the curse on Gotham herself, the town that had been built on the ground above by humans becomes the very city we all know.
Its a whole mixed bag do to so many factors, that's why Gotham is the way it is.
Gotham does her best to keep her people safe from well... everything but due to the curse and the fighting off another person/entity/demon/magic user/etc coming for her father's power, she can't always do much by the time one crisis is over and a new one pops up, she's slowly breaking down the longer it takes.
That's why she has a soft spot for her Dark Knight and his family and allies, they help her from the pain from the curse by trying as both the Wayne's and as the Batclan to fix up her city self, its not enough to really fix her fully but it helps with the pain that eats at her.
She does her best to give them tiny blessings though, but due to her duty of protecting her father she can't always do much (she wept when news of Jason, her second Robin, her rough around the edges bookworm, had died came to her. She couldn't protect him because he was out of her reach. Its why when Joker returned she made it very hard for him to really gain his foothold in her again but had to stop because CW told her if she kept making it too hard for the clown he'd go running off to 'play' with a different hero and that... that timeline would lead the world to ruin. She begrudgingly stopped but when Joker had taken her third Robin, her tiny Tim the one she loved watching shadow her knights, she did everything she could to keep him sane from the pain he had been put in, and lead Batman to the warehouse to save him. Also it turns out her heartbreak over Jason's death, her curse acting up, and her ectoplasim sparking off at the same time it helped bring him back from his grave not fully but somewhat, she was so shocked that she didn't have time to send hints to Bruce to get him when he was taken by Talia and once again out of her reach. She tried hinting it to Bruce that Talia had taken him but by the time he would check on the League, Talia would had moved him)
Gotham, depsite being young in the eyes of many other powerful beings and entities has held her own and kept those that wanted to use her father for power packing. Despite being cursed that is slowly eating her alive she still holds onto the hope her father will awaken and she will finally get to meet him. (She hopes she made him proud, he is a protector spirit core after all and she had been steadfast with keeping him safe all these years).
Things however take a turn for the worse when Gotham awakens from some sort of powerful slumber (she doesn't know what happened?! Did something knock her out?! When did she fall asleep?! Was it magic? Did the curse do it? Did someone or something-) And discovers someone or something had managed to steal her father slumbering core. (So close to healing, so close to awakening according to Frostbite, just a few more days he says. Just. A. Few. More. Days)
She tries to go find him but is suddenly hurting more, her curse has progressed even worse, she can barely stand, let alone fight whoever had her father. And she knows her father's friends won't be back to see her until far later.
And then all of Gotham shakes and shudders when her rage, panic, and terror are felt that early morning.
-×-×-
Deep in the Batcave, Batman and the others are searching for whatever caused that strange almost magical but not (ectoplasm) shudder that morning.
They were expecting a full scale attack. Magical, alien, maybe even all the Rogues in Gotham working together. An all scaled war. They were looking for any signs of it, maybe to by some miracle stop it before it becomes to late.
They however weren't expecting a strange sick looking woman with yellow glowing eyes, oil ink like hair covering her face and body, clawed hands like they had dipped in ink as well, star like freckles blinking in and out on her body and face, sharp ears, breathing heavily and coughing every so often to appear in the cave. Like she had sunk out from the shadows in pure silence. (Even Cass did not hear her)
Nor were they expecting her not to even flinch when they trained their weapons onto her. Instead all she did was laugh, a raspy low laugh, but it held warmth and mirth.
"Now, now my knights... No need for that. I come needing help and you are the only ones I will ever trust with this mission..." her voice was soft but harsh, talking seemed to hurt her though for she had to take deep breaths and suppress a cough. Her eyes trailed across them all, despite her sickly look her eyes gleamed with a motherly warmth in a strange sense, something all of them could feel "I can not hold this corporal form for long. Long story short I am cursed, have been for a very long time and whatever happened to me earlier this morning has aggravated it even more and thus I can not stay in the world of the 'living' to do much. My father, the one I have been protecting since my creation from all sorts of terrible and dangerous things, for should they get a hold of him it could spell the end of life itself for he is that powerful, has been taken from his healing chamber. I do not know who or where but I know he still remains in the city, that much I can sense."
She coughed and took a shuddering breath "But alas I can not go to his aid as I once has been able to, this is where you all come in. I need you to find my father, find his core. Bring him to safety. I had fought so many to keep him safe, to make sure he heals in peace for so long, and he... So close. Just a few more days he needed... then I could had finally had met him."
She lightly muttered those last few words, eyes looking lost for a moment before coughing hard.
"Who are you." Batman, Bruce Wayne, stonely demanded but for some reason he couldn't help but feel like he knows her, like from a foggy memory, and by the looks of his family they all could sense the same thing.
The woman, or whatever she was, merely smiled, sharp teeth bared in it as she looked him right in the eyes and said.
"Gotham, my dear Dark Knight. I am Lady Gotham herself. Its wonderful to finally meet you despite the circumstances."
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ganondoodle · 4 days ago
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game dev is such an alluring thing to try to do bc its a kind of media that allows for such an active and direct way to interact with others like most things just dont
im still dreaming of trying it every now and again but, among my other problems, i run into the more unique problem of .. not knowing or not wanting to start bc i cant find tutorials that teach me about how i structure code, where do i begin, where does a script go, what makes sense to seperate into its own piece of code and what should stay together, what do i do first?? i have found ones that teach you about single things but never really how to structure it all, how it should look like as a whole, and idk what mental wall i run into but i need to know before i can even try!! its the not knowing where to start that keeps blocking me bc i dont want to make a mess, i am very chaotic and code is something hard to get right and hard to untangle so i dont want to just .. do stuff that wont work
#ganondoodles talks#personal#also if anything id want to use godot since that is an open source engine but its even harder to find anything there#maybe im not lookign at the right things#................ if could write well i could at least write some things while i cant draw#but i cant seem to be able to do anything but waste away and its infuriating#my writings gotten just as bad and messy as my art and im just#so fucking sick of it all#cant i just work for once- cant i just be functional for ONCE cant i just FUCKING enjoy doing things again for ONCE in months#im promising you im trying so hard to let go of all pressure but it just wont work regardless#i just keep doing very wrong looking shitty sketches of a vague horse shape and even that is like BOOM battery out goodnight#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#when i do pixel art i start to think about coding and how to make thigns work and what is even possible to make at all#then wondering if any effort put inot it is even worth it if its not doable for me or at all#when i listen to toby foxs music i want to try it so bad too but im a noob at everything#if i cant put in the effort to DRAW -somethign i have been doing sicne being able to hold a pencil- then how can i learn literally anything#i know brains need new stuff and need to learn new things but i am so incapable of even trying even though i want to#its that god dman clash of two sides- unlimited passion and need and want and an absolute blockage of fearing to waste time#i probably suck at everything i want to try but how will i know if i dont try it seriously at least a few times im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr
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snzydarling · 2 months ago
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ooooo, prompts you say??~
knowing how much I love when someone requests one of my lil guys so I can write them in a fun situation, I'm gonna toss you a f/ukuzawa, aaaaaaand add to it a side of cat allergies +M/ori involvement
do with that as you will, you can choose if the M/ori involvement is minimal, antagonist, helpful, anything you want, just gives you a lil thing to work with~ <3 excited to see what you may cook up if you so choose to!!~
hello !!! you gave me this and i ran with it so hard. thank u for the ask and i def had a lot of fun with this,...... i hope u enjoy it too !!
Nothing Beyond my Grasp
fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs characters: Fukuzawa Yukichi, Mori Ougai cw: sneezing kink !! mess, vouyerism, implied character with kink notes: hi it is 3 am i am so tired goodnight. you guys are lucky imm too tired to be embarrased rn because this is the horniest thing ive written so far !!! its a little kinky. i really like to explore their dynamic in a kind of unconventional way. i dont know if alot of people know about fukuzawas ex-assassin stuff because it was never really directly stated in anything besideds the novel but thats !! why !! hes basically silent throughout this whole thing. in the novel it says he walks compltelty silently most of the time so i think thats such an unconcious habit and it also splays out through most of his life. enjoy. iam going to pass out now gutten night !!!!
Very quickly, Fukuzawa had turned into one of Mori’s favorite people to study. In his unique line of work, he met plenty of unusual people, but none quite like him. Fukuzawa was mysterious- nearly silent, prone to snarling when provoked, and reminded him altogether of a caged wild dog. Really, ‘Silver Wolf’ was the perfect name for him. 
Earlier in the evening, Elise had dragged in a bedraggled-looking stray, and entirely susceptible to her, he allowed her to keep it until she got bored with it. Not that they had much choice, anyway- it had taken to whipping its tail about in the corner and hissing as soon as she released it. Mori found himself glancing at the time more often after that. This was a new chance to study Fukuzawa. How would he react? Would he open his heart to another stray? He already had one. 
Ever habitual, punctual as a means of politeness, Fukuzawa swings the door to his humble office open as soon as the clock strikes 9 p.m. He looked weary, the combination of preparing to open his agency and body guard work clearly taking its toll. Mori liked to see it- it lowered his guard. 
As Fukuzawa moved to his usual spot he passed the spot where the cat had chosen to reside, which took his closeness as a threat and started to hiss and swat. Mori honed in on Fukuzawa’s face, watching the softness in his eyes. He kneels down, palms open, posture soft. 
Mori snorts as Fukuzawa slips a treat from his sleeve, holding it out in offering. He doesn’t expose his hands very often, so Mori studies them closely. Calloused from years of sword fighting, etched with fading scars and an array of scratches. Clearly, this is a hobby of his. 
He watches as one hand slowly stretches the treat forwards as the other one seriously knucks the underside of his nose, pulling at a particularly long scar. Mori wants to know what its from, but he knows better than to ask. He would never receive an answer. Fukuzawa appears to be making some progress, as the cat starts slinking along nervously, gaining confidence, until Fukuawa twitches into himself. It hisses and jumps back, pressing into the wall as he does it again. The movement leaves Mori quirking an tebow. Fukuzawa moves in a way that is meticulous and calculated, and something so unintentional is novel. Is exhaustion getting to him that badly? The thought sends a shiver down his spine. 
Regardless of whatever is weighing him down, Fukuzawa appears to be undeterred. He fully sits down, placing the treat on his lap, and fixes Mori with his usual cold stare. “Where did she come from?” he asks, sounding almost.. Concerned? It's hard to tell with him, and Mori’s not quite familiar enough to parse every micro-intonation, yet. He gives a lazy shrug. “Elise brought it in. Feel free to take it, I dont like dirty things.” He lets the implications hang in the air, relishing the way Fukuzawa’s brow furrows. Always so easy to push. He might not be the only source, he realizes, because he soon scrunches up the bridge of his nose too, and shutters into a raised hand, twice in succession, before sniffing and giving his head a small shake.
Suddenly, Mori realizes what happened the first time. He decides to stay silent, and 
feigns interest in his work while watching Fukuzawa from the corner of his eye. He observes him as he tends to his nose repeatedly, staring off with a hazy kind of expression. He also bears witness to the stray bringing itself to Fukuzawa again, settling in his lap, and makes sure to note down the look of joy. 
He chuckles at the absurdity of the scene in front of him. “Looks like you’ve got quite a way with strays.” he muses. Fukuzawa starts, apparently haven forgotten about him altogether. How irresponsible. “Are you going to manage to keep me safe like that?” He teases, tiring of this silent treatment. Fukuzawa scrubs at his nose again, answering with a curt “I’ll manage.” that’s a bit fuzzy around the edges. He doesn’t bother to bring up what they both know- Mori doesn’t need his protection. 
He finds himself developing a particular interest in Fukuzawa’s nose, which has started to crease, and develop irritated redness around the rims. The abuse is certainly doing him no favors- he watches it be crushed against a palm when it starts to twitch. Fukuzawa even, almost meditative, breathing has started to stutter, just barely visible underneath all of his layers, but Mori knows better than to think he’ll get a show that easily. He’s going to have to work for it. 
“Got a tickle?” Hw pried, not like he needed to confirm it. His response comes in a rough head-shake, and he rests his head in his hand, sighing. “Use your words, Fukuawa.” He chides. The man in question curls his lip, but obeys anyways, a breathy “No.” that catches in his throat. He presses another harsh knuckle to the side of his nose, eyelashes fluttering, and flinches into his hand again. A breath escapes this time, stuffy and unsatisfied, and Mori has to swallow down his delight. Fukuzawa is so easy to manipulate- he can’t help but try his luck. 
“Really? You look awfully itchy, though. What's gotten into you?” Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t get a response, though the more accurate notion is that he can’t, because Fukuzawa jolts into his shoulder again. 
“hH'EHSCHHh-!” it’s greater than any other sneeze Mori has heard out of him, desperate to break free. Fukuzawa’s whole face sparks with irritation, and he pinches the next one between his thumb and forefinger. It squelches with the pressure. 
With another shuddering exhale, he glares at Mori. “Nothings wrong.” he declared, but with congestion thick in his throat, so it came out all wrong. Mori scoffs. “Use a tissue, atleast.” He doesn’t get a response, unless a ticklish, smothered cough counts. 
Mori actually focuses on his work for a couple of minutes, and when he turns his attention back to Fukuzawa, he can’t contain his shock. His condition has considerably worsened. He’s mid sneezing fit, crushing release after release between pinched fingers, and a tear rolls down his cheek. He looks so utterly pathetic, heat starts to pool in Mori’s gut. Fukuzawa manages to quell the fit without a single noise leaking through, a rather impressive feat. He tends to his nose again, now a dark pink. When he angles his face just right, Mori can see wetness threatening to spill over. 
All this abuse seems to do him more harm than good, because not even a minute after his previous attack is he hitching again, canine teeth catching the light, and choking down another volley. He’s not as lucky this time- sound starts to leak out between his fingertips, a preview of what is surely soon to come. Husky gasps and stuttery exhales announce the start and end of each sneeze, only agitating Fukuzawa more. He almost seems to growl as he pants for breath, scrubbing at his nose once again, like it’s offered him any relief thus far. Mori watches the skin crinkle and stretch. He frowns down at Fukuzawa, itchy and irritated and so extremely allergic. What a fool. 
“You really shouldn’t stew in an allergen. Really, Fukuzawa, I thought you were smarter than that.” He bites his cheek, watching how the word alone is enough to make his breath catch again. Oh Fukuzawa, the master of self-control. He’s waging a war against his own nose, fighting tooth and nail to maintain his usual mask of indifference. It makes every quiver so much more noticable. 
When he’s promptly ignored, Mori makes an effort to remove the mangy cat himself, but Fukuzawa quickly shifts back. The sudden movement breaks his concentration on wrestling control over himself, because he tears forward with a “eH'RSCHHh-oo!” What an incredible sound. So desperate and unrestrained. Mori wants to hear it again, wants to watch Fukuzawa hopelessly to himself, wants to pick apart every piece of it. And he’s always been one to make sure he gets what he wants. 
Fukuzawa straightens his spine, face flush with irritation and perhaps a bit of embarrassment. He stares at Mori with a challenge in his expression, like he’s daring Mori to come after him. Mori’s not afraid of him, however, especially not in that state. He just needs to make him crack. 
“I can’t believe you’re so willing to put up with such a tickle for a stray like that. Look at all of the fur, Fukuzawa. It’s all across your robes.” he’s smart enough to know what Mori’s doing, and make sure he knows it, but that means nothing. His breath still stutters. “It’s on your hands, too. You’ve been rubbing it all over your nose.” Mori clicks his tongue, scolding. “How careless.”’hiH-!” Fukuzawa’s eyes flutter closed, hands rising towards his face. The anticipation is almost too much. 
“That must tickle, Fukuzawa. You look awfully itchy, like there’s fur in your nose.” That sends him over the edge. Mori’s stomach twists with anxiety. Fukuzawa takes in a ragged gasp, head tilted back towards the light, and gives Mori a glorious show. 
“eH'RSCHHh-iewh! ‘RSZHHIh-! hiA'ESZHHUh-! hH’RSZHHh-oo!!” With each wretched sneeze, Fukuzawa is thrown further forward, bringing in more dander with every inhale. He’s hopeless to it, hands hovering uselessly, giving Mori a full view of the mess he’s made. 
“e'ETSZHHh-! ‘ESCHHUh-! heH'RSZH-! ‘rRSZHHh-oo! hiH-! hiA'ETSCHh-!” They’re pitchy and vocal, unconstrainable. One particularly sonorus “ ‘RSCHHEUHh-!” sends the cat scampering off, and Mori almost purrs when its bushy tail runs directly under Fukuzawa’s nostrils. Oh, he's helpless. 
“ hI'RSZHHh-! ‘ESCHHh-oo! hH'RSZHHEUHh-! ‘RSZHHih- hH'ESCHHh-oo! ‘DSCHHhih-!” He’s entirely doubled over now, and some small, still human part of Mori worries he might smother himself. He makes no motion to help. He never wants this to  end, each release so pressure inducing. It’s simply too much. 
All good things must come to an end, though, and Fukuzawa manages to wrangle himself under control. Raw, desperate sneezes are replaced by clipped stifles that still rock him forwards, and almost a full minute passes before he emerges, deeming himself out of the woods. Lord, he is wrecked. If Mori were a weaker man, his arousal would’ve been much more obvious. He manages to keep himself under control. 
Fukuzawa’s face is flushed and swollen, his eyes red rimmed and eyelashes heavy with fat tears. Every panting breath he takes in has the slightest wheeze, so Mori takes pity on him and deicides to play his role as doctor. He makes short work of acquiring an anti-histimine, holding it out like a dog treat. 
Fukuzawa doesn’t meet his eyes as he takes it, but hes polite enough to nod his thanks. He swallows it dry, throat clicking, and there’s silence once again until it breaks it with a snarling “‘RSZHHh-oo!” that escapes his clutches. 
“Silver Wolf” was most certainly a fitting name. 
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infinitelyweary · 5 months ago
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Has anyone endlessly dissected Armand's subtle Marius shade yet
#iwtv#iwtv armand#LESSER skill 💅🏽✨#im sincerely so curious to see how their dynamic plays out once he finds out marius is alive#bc it seems like he still thinks hes dead as of s2#as far as i can tell book!armand doesnt find out marius is alive until he reads lestats book?? which will never not fuck me up#book!lestat is truly aint shit for hearing armands Tale of Woe then kicking it at marius’s mcmansion for a week#writing and publishing a book about it meanwhile never letting his friend armand who he ‘loves’ know that his fucking maker is still alive#but anyway in the show theyre definitely leaning into armand being more embittered towards marius which i loveeee#vs in the books where he seems more ambivalent?#its hard bc u can make a strong reading of book!armand as deeply resentful#but unable to process that relationship enough to understand his feelings about it#but ar is so shit at character development/keeping emotional consistency that it feels like a fluke when something actually tracks#like theres a great moment in qotd where marius is seeing armand again for the first time since his ‘death’ and marius is all hugging him#and armand is just sort of solemn and passively allowing it and not rly engaging with him#but then when marius needs him armand goes to his side and comforts him a few chapters later#and i think theres a lot you can glean from those two interactions but since ar spends no time digging into that at all its like…..#did it even mean anything? or am i imagining a better story than im actually reading#she just has this knack for laying the groundwork of a deeply fascinating character dynamic and then never fully seeing it to fruition#even in armands own book which is largely dedicated to exploring that relationship his feelings on marius stay pretty unresolved#he feels conflicted at the start and conflicted at the end and telling his story doesnt illuminate anything he still just feels the same#i can sit around and make different interpretations forever but the text never Goes There enough to be satisfying for me#and im not fucking reading blood and gold so if the insight i seek lies within someone just tell me. pls
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tinythiefalex · 5 months ago
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Ouran's Giant Host Club: One Shot
A Small Rest
Main Story
Hi! Sorry, I know it's been so long!
I made this quick, short one shot to try and cure my writer's block so I can finally finish episode 2. I can't promise it'll come out any time soon, since my chances for free time are few and far between, but I do promise that I am working on it
Thank y'all for your patience and I hope you like this one shot!
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Giant voices rumbled over Haruhi’s head as she stood on the edge of a page, staring down at the jumbled notes scribbled on it. She took a glance around the rest of the table, covered in blurry drawings and photos that swirled and meshed into a sea of colors that Haruhi couldn’t make sense of. Her mind felt clouded, and she couldn’t remember what she was supposed to be doing. 
The sudden sound of snapping fingers startled the little human from her thoughts, and her vision cleared long enough to look up at the giant boy standing over her, calling her name. 
“Haruhi! Are you even paying attention?” Hikaru asked with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. Haruhi turned her head, noticing Kaoru and Tamaki looking at her expectantly. 
“Huh?” She asked after a long blink. Kaoru held up a picture of…costumes? 
“We asked which color you think would work best. We can’t agree.” the boy said, pointing to some of the options.
“Oh…yeah um…” she mumbled, rubbing one of her eyes. Now she remembered. She had been put in a group with Tamaki and the twins to discuss plans for an upcoming event. 
“Maybe the, um… the blue?” her words came out slowly, and unsure. 
Tamaki glanced at the twins, then back down at Haruhi.
“...Which blue?” he asked after a moment. 
Haruhi looked back at the options, but found her mind going a bit foggy again. She swayed a bit on her feet as she tried to remember the question she’d been asked. 
Hikaru snapped his fingers again, this time much closer to his tiny clubmate. Haruhi jumped at the loud noise, covering one of her ears.
“Stop doing that…” she said just loud enough for the giants to hear her, barely. All 3 frowned at her slightly slurred words. 
“Are you okay?” Tamaki asked. 
“I’m fine just… didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, I had to study.”  Her answer was an understatement; she hadn’t slept at all. Haruhi shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind, but she just couldn’t seem to focus. 
“Are you talking about that biology test we have coming up?” Kaoru said, concerned, “We could have helped you study if you asked, you didn’t have to stay up all night.”
“Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one,” Hikaru joked, nudging Haruhi lightly in the side. The poke made her stumble, and as she regained her footing, she noticed Tamaki kneeling down next to the table to be on the human’s level. 
Tamaki’s eyebrows furrowed at his little friend’s state. “How long has it been since you slept?”
Haruhi had to think for a moment. How long had it been? She pulled an all-nighter last night, but had she slept the night before? She couldn’t recall. 
For Tamaki, her silence was answer enough. 
“Alright,” he said decidedly. He lightly smacked his hands on the table as he stood back up. “Come on, let’s go.” 
He scooped Haruhi up into his hands. Her eyes went wide at the unexpected action and she tried to sit up in the giant’s cupped palm. “W-what? Where are we going?”
Tamaki walked over to the pair of lounge couches in the room. He laid down on one before carefully setting Haruhi down on his chest. “We’re just taking a quick break.” 
Haruhi tried to get back up. “But what about-”
“Don’t worry about that,” the giant interrupted. He laid a hand over the human, keeping her from getting up. “We’ll keep working on it after.” 
Haruhi stared up at him for a moment before laying her head back down on his chest. The fabric underneath her was so comfortable, and the large hand gently holding her in place was so warm. She didn't want to stop working, but she could feel her exhaustion pulling her towards sleep.
“Maybe just for a minute,” she said softly, her little eyes drifting shut. 
Tamaki smiled at the sight of his clubmate getting some well-deserved rest. He ran a cautious finger down her small back, rising and falling in slow breaths. 
“Hey boss,” Hikaru walked over to the couches, “you can’t just leave us like that. Kyoya will have our heads if we don’t-”
“Shhhhh…” Tamaki shushed him, pointing down to the sleeping human. Haruhi only stirred a bit at the noise, curling into a little ball. “Kyoya will live. We’ll finish it later.” 
Tamaki placed his other hand over Haruhi, shielding her from the rest of the world, before closing his eyes as well. His tiny friend needed sleep, and that’s all that mattered.
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o-sunny-day · 7 months ago
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EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!! IM WORKING ON A FORGETTABLE!AU ANIMATIC (ITLL TAKE A WHILE, DONT WORRY ABOUT IT) AND I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING
Sans. Wingdings. Brothers. Yes?
Asriel. Chara. Siblings. YES?
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scuse me while I RRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
fineee you can have a littttle sneak peak :3 just keep this between us
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sp-growingpains · 2 months ago
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Rowan B. ☆
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Its the eldest of the goobers, Rowan Broflovski! He's finally drawn out! I've drawn so little of him, and what a crime that was! Sweet, tired son boy!
Harper | @patchoululi
📓 - As mentioned before, he was the first twin to make an appearance! Absolutely something he will never let Ronnie forget!
📓 - The more introverted of the two. Most of the time he has major resting bitch face, most of the time it is on purpose.
📓 - This does change when he's around Ronnie. It's a very small change, but his brows tend to relax more and he's more likely to smile.
-> This changes more when they're older. He finds himself actually smiling and able to be a goober in public.
-> Ronnie acts a bit like a security blanket for him. That thing when you're with your friend and can just relax because at least someone there gets your sense of humor
📓 - Dry! The most dry humor you could have in a human being! There's a bit of a gallows humor in there, too. Which doesn't always go over well with other people, so he tends to keep to himself.
📓 - While he got Jean's hair, he inherited his dad's nose and eyes. He relates to his father more on personality, too.
-> He didn't really get his father's temper, just that no patience for bullshit attitude. Ronnie tends to pick on him when he tries to give him the stare ™.
"You know you look like Dad when you do that, right? You have no power over me. Put it away."
"I hate you."
"No~ you~ don't~"
-> That being said, the boy struggles with depression at a pretty young age. The tired look isn't always because he's bothered.
-> He's introduced to medication pretty quickly, something Jean is immediately on top of. As he gets older, he stays with his therapist for as long as he can.
📓 - Does very well in school. He has a heavy hand in Ronnie passing any of his classes. Rowan will accept nothing less than perfection. Straight A student the whole time.
📓 - He's got a small phobia of failure. A small compulsive need to be the very best because messing things up stresses him out. He gets caught up in his head over the slightest fuck up.
📓 Hobbies Inclide-
🎸 - Rowan plays bass! He loves music just like his brother! But unlike Ronnie, he doesn't just stop at one instrument.
🎹 - Piano is his guilty pleasure. He loves classical music sure, but just about anything that can be played on those ivory keys puts him at peace. He'll often use this to calm down if he's going through it.
⚾️ - Rowan found himself really enjoying baseball! He likes basketball, too, but only when he's playing with his family. But with baseball, it's his. He doesn't share that with anyone else. A lot of nights when he's supposed to be sleeping spent at the field.
📓 - Writing! Writing! Writing! Oh god does the boy write! Poetry, stories, lyrics, even plays! You name it, Rowan dabbles in it!
⛺️ - And of course, just like Ronnie, he loves camping. It's quiet. Most of the time, it's relaxing. Most of the time, he's alone. No expectations. Just nature and maybe finally getting some sleep.
📓 - He sleeps very poorly. A lot of that comes from that he feels like he's wasting time when he's asleep. Rowan can't accept anything less than perfection as stated above, so that means every moment MUST be dedicated to doing something.
📓 - Most times, you'll find him with his headphones in. He's not shy about it either. He buys the big ones that go over your head so you know he doesn't want to be messed with.
-> That isn't to say he doesn't want the company. He very much does. He's just afraid.
-> Living with depression is hard. Especially when you have your downs. Rowan often feels like he's too much to deal with, so he doesn't let many people get close.
-> That part of him that feels like he needs to be good at everything he does doesn't translate well with social encounters. He often feels he's not as good as Ronnie is, so it stresses him out.
-> Eventually, if he's around you enough, he'll loosen up. It just takes time.
📓 - His relationship with his grandparents is very special to him. As is his relationship with his religion. Rowan keeps to himself about it for the most part. After all, it's his relationship with his religion... no one else's.
📓 - Spends a lot of time with his grandparents, helping them with the holidays and learning as much as he can from them. He loves his grandma Sheila very much.
📓 - As much as Ronnie is a mama's boy, Rowan gets along with their father more. Kyle is one of the few people where Rowan can just be at peace around.
-> So his relationship with Jean isn't rocky, like Ronnie and Kyle's is. It's more like... both of them are walking on ice around each other.
-> There's a lot of times when Rowan feels like he can't compete with Ronnie. He sees how his twin brother and his mother get along so well, and it kind of hurts sometimes.
-> Jean fully blames herself for any and all of Rowan's mental health. She struggles with depression and now her baby boy has it. It's heavy stuff.
-> So these combined insecurities just cause them to dance around one another. But, just like how Rowan had to call his brother out, Ronnie calls him out for it when they're older. Telling him to talk about it and stop holding it in!
📓 - Rowan does, however, think his "Uncle" Stan is the coolest guy ever! He grows up listening to all of those old Crimson Dawn albums. Steals his mom's old shirt and watches every recording.
📓 - Even though Ronnie gets the reputation for being a bit of a flirt. It's Rowan, who's a bit of a heartbreaker. He turns a lot of people down, usually using the excuse that he's too busy. (The real reason is that fear mentioned above.)
📓 - Rowan is demisexual. It's takes him a while to get comfortable with another person, even more so when it comes to romance. Like his twin, he doesn't care what gender you are...it's who you are that matters.
-> He is very protective over his people, though. A very big, protective older brother figure.
-> But when he falls, he crashes. If he catches feelings, that's it. He's done for. There's a tight feeling in his chest, he mistakes for anxiety, and he's a certified fumbler.
📓 - His voice claim is the singer Sawyer Hill! A few of his songs are on Rowan's playlist for a reason!
📓 - He very much wants to be an author when he's older. I definitely share the headcanon that Kyle becomes a professor later on in life, namely English.
-> But I think Rowan puts that to the side when he's a young adult in favor for Ronnie's dreams.
-> It's not something he'll ever bring up to his twin, but Rowan sacrifices a lot of himself for his brother.
-> The whole reason he picked up bass in the first place was FOR Ronnie. The bass is often the instrument that holds the band together, but it takes more of a background role to say, the guitar. Even though he was named after Dio's guitarist.
-> And that idea sort of represents their relationship as a whole. Ronnie relies on Rowan to keep him grounded and put together. While Rowan relies on Ronnie to sometimes take that step into the unknown, to remember to breath.
-> A lot of Rowan's personal story is growing up too fast, and like his brother, finding your own identity in all of it.
-> On a more uplifting side, it's also about accepting that your feelings are valid and depression is a struggle, but you're so very strong for overcoming it. For learning to live with it!
-> Rowan often feels indebted to his brother. For as much as Ronnie thinks he needs Rowan. He feels it to be the other way around.
Hey, once again, thanks for reading this far! I truly adore you, and I'm floored every time I read those kind tags! I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for sticking around! Here's a Playlist for your troubles!
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pinkeoni · 2 years ago
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It is a little fascinating that there are certain fans who view Will through a strict lens (either as a “weak” crybaby or as a potential villain) which reflects how people of Hawkins percieve Will in show (either as a weak “fairy” or as a predatory “zombie boy”)
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hayconrisa · 14 days ago
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NEW BOX SET ACQUIRED we are so fucking back !!!!! thank you ebay
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all of our box sets all lined up..... happy family,💚
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pidgeonlaguz · 2 months ago
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howdy!! it's been a minute but i'm still around. fair warning-- i have been lurking the whole time and have about. 100+ posts drafted 😵‍ you'll be seeing these shortly, i'll try my best to space them out as i get around to tagging them
#tldr im fine it's just been a lot lately and i havent had the energy to tag anything#which!! i like being chatty in the tags and i try my best to say at least something cool about any art or fic i rb#when you're running on 0 tho.... it gets hard to keep that energy up yk???#long version: (if anyone is reading this ty but feel free to drop off at any point it's kinda heavy and just a vent)#hit the 'one more minor inconvenience and im running off into the woods forever' point about five major events ago yet we're still truckin#firstly: found out two months ago (february) that i needed 6 credits worth of college by june to keep my teaching license for next year#so accelerated online graduate courses were the only option and i have since done more work for that than my 5 year undergrad#im almost done with the second class but im so fuckin drained dude i havent been able to really draw/write or play music or sew or anything#everything i do try has either been hit with the executive dysfunction or turns out Bad enough that i get frustrated#shortly after i found out the nice old guy downstairs died my upstairs neighbor who i cared a lot about died. last week and im still waitin#to find out when the funeral is from her son. ive been taking that kinda hard since i feel like i should have checked on her#my parents are moving 17 hours cross country to move back to where we are which is nice but ive been hearing about all their stress with th#house sale on loop by this point whenever i talk to them. which fair they managed to sell the house in a week when we thought itd be months#got smacked with thousands of dollars of surprise car repairs out of nowhere to get my inspection sticker and am still trying to recover#and petty things: lost my favorite piece of clothing and broke my glasses last week while running tech week for the kids#idk man any one thing at a time i could've toughed out better its just been all at once#anyways like i said i'm still truckin and will probably delete this (or at least the tags on it) later had to get all that out somewhere#messenger pidge#if anyone did get this far down thank you for watching me yap <3 i promise im good and will be back to normal shenanigans soon hopefully
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cinnaminsvga · 10 months ago
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hi hello good evening (morning, afternoon, day) to all ye citizens of yap nation (population: me)
it's been a while and just wanted to write a little update here in case anyone cares (i say, as my voices rings out in this echo chamber)
i’m currently writing my next fic for my “heart full of hugot” series (it’s the taehyung-centered one titled “kilig” btw) and i’m really enjoying the process so far!! a small sneak peek, but i like to think i wrote namjoon canon compliantly in this one...
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idk when this will come out because i'm slow as hell, but i'll post a teaser for it once i've written a sizeable amount :D i'm at 2k words so far... and not even at the meat of the story... oh god i hope it's not as long as harana but we shall see... PRAY FOR MY TINY BRAIN!!!
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