#ive only got a tiny bit to go and then its complete!

[redux-iterum]

Well, excellent! Thank you very much for the sweet art!

[butch-bakugo]

Why are vetted accounts sending people stuff like this.

I mean it's clearly copy-pasted and sent to multiple people but this isn't even a donations ask. Imma guess the reason people aren't responding is because you're accusing them of not doing enough for Palestine and sending it to multiple people who you clearly don't check because I've been posting about and for Palestine since oct 7th when I learned about it.

Also yes he is looking for donations, you can check his account and find it. Why are you sending this guilt trippy stuff to people and accusing them of not caring enough? You don't know me? You send these to multiple people so your clearly not checking the account in question. This dose nothing to help you personally or the Palestinian cause, it just pisses people off and makes them question vetters.

[ur-ghostgirl]

:c

[justyourusualash]

His Fault | A.H.

summary: the team calls hotch, but he doesn’t pick up. is he alright?

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x reader

warnings: mention of the stabby incident, making out, sorta public, teeny weeny bit of crying, its a tiny bit worrisome in the beginning but then its super hilarious, the horizontal tango hit an unexpected commercial break (coitus interruptus)

wc: 720

a.n: guys this is my first hotch fic. its not the indian-american!reader ive been working on. im just trying to put myself on the tag soo here we gooo

“Uhh… guys?” Emily started and the rest of them looked at her with questioning gazes.

“Yes, Emily?” JJ asked, getting worried.

“I’ve been trying to call Hotch, and he isn’t picking up. And considering what happened the last time he didn’t pick up our calls…”

“He got stabbed in his own apartment.” Derek interrupted.

“I think we should go to his apartment and make sure he’s okay.” Emily finished, glaring at him.

“She’s right. But, how will we get in?” Penelope’s arrival was signalled by the jingle of her bracelets.

“Rossi has a key.” Spencer pointed out.

“For emergencies!” Dave exclaimed.

“This is an emergency! We don’t know where or in what state our boss is!” JJ argued and hearing that, Dave relented.

They entered his apartment guns held carefully behind their backs, with Penelope trailing behind them, just in case something was wrong. But, Hotch was not there. “Now what?” Spencer asked, looking around his boss’ apartment.

“Now we wait. If something is wrong we’ll get an indication of it and if nothing is wrong, Hotch will come back and we’ll explain everything to him.” Derek said and everyone agreed.

They waited for about fifteen minutes, when something slammed against the front door and they all brought their guns out again. They then heard the unmistakable sound of Hotch’s keys, the door opened and…

It was her fault that he was half-hard by the time they got to the restaurant, she just looked so good in that dress.

It was her fault that he was completely hard by the time they left the restaurant, she was teasing him so much.

It was her fault that they were making out in the elevator of his apartment building, she showed him a peek of the navy blue lingerie she was wearing just for him.

It was her fault that he was letting her unbutton his shirt in the elevator, she put his hand on her thigh and it was gliding up with a mind of its own.

It was her fault that he all but slammed her into the door of his apartment, she just kissed him so good.

It was her fault that he let her push his shirt off of his shoulders when he closed the door by slamming her into it, she just tasted so-

“Hotch!”

He turned around reaching for his gun on instinct when he realized that it was his team, standing in the living room of his apartment.

“What the hell are you doing in my apartment at 9:30 at night?!” Aaron exclaimed, shielding y/n as he handed her his shirt to put on.

“You gave me a key!” Dave argued.

“For emergencies! Stop snickering, y/n.” He looked behind him and bit his tongue to stop himself from smiling as he looked at her.

“Give me the keys and get out of my apartment.” He plucked the keys out of Dave’s hands and turned around to face his girlfriend. “These are yours now.” He said, placing them in her hand.

“What if you need something and you’re not close to your apartment and it’s closer to go from the office?” Derek asked as a ploy to get the keys back.

“You will get the keys back when I decide that you won’t storm my apartment if I don’t pick up a call from you guys. Now, out of my apartment please.”

He turned around after closing the door to find y/n looking at him with tears in her eyes.

“Baby!” He took her face in his hands, worried. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“You gave me the keys to your apartment!”

“I trust you, sweet girl.”

“We’ve only been dating for four months.”

“It’s long enough for me to trust you with my life, baby. That, and I kinda wanna come home one day and see you standing there with nothing but my shirt on.” He smirked at her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Oh you horny, horny old man. I love you so much.” She smiled as she reached up to kiss him.

“I love you too, pretty girl” He beamed as they kissed all the way back to his bedroom. It was his fault he gave her the key to his apartment, he just loved her so much.

[uch3na]

i’ve just sent out this same exact request to another writer but im going mad about the amount of fics (zero) with kai from voyagers (ARCHEIIE)

𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚

| pairing - kai x reader

| warnings - sub!kai, kai jerking off while thinking of reader, praise (m recieving), riding, finger sucking, mindbreak (if u squint hard enough), kai really wanting to pleasure the reader

| a/n - im ngl i was so happy i got this request bc ive been wanting to write for him so here u go🤫🤫

you always had your eye on kai. not in an attracted way, but you were always closest to him than anyone else on the ship.

but its just like one day everything — changed. when you stopped drinking your “medication” you just saw him differently. every time you looked at him you just wanted to do these things to him. break him. you didn’t know what came over you. kai always seemed like the type (sexually or not) that could break easily; even with the way he acts around the ship. all tough on the outside but when he’s alone he’s just a puddle of mush.

and to the least of your knowledge, kai felt the same way about you. he would think about the things you could do to him. he would try to sleep but all he could think of was you controlling him. taking what was yours. he would fist his cock at the thought. imagining it was your own hand wrapped around his thick length. he would shut his eyes and just try his absolute hardest to go to bed but he would just end up with his hand down his pants like a helpless little boy. and what made it worse was that you were in the room right next to him. and you heard everything. all his tiny moans and whimpers. this was the only thing that made you happy about the terribly thin walls on the ship.

you would’ve never thought kai thought of you the same way you thought of him until one day you had woken up to get a drink when you heard the faintest cry of your name while the hallways were dead silent. the voice sounds familiar so you instantly forget about the water and tiptoe to kai’s door and put your ear against it. it was almost like a mouse and a trap. and you fell for it. you just stood there — listening to him. the way his moans were broken each time he was about to orgasm. the way he would call out your name when he was close. the vague wet noises that were because of all of the pre-cum leaking from his tip mixed with his own spit. he had no shame since he was so loud and the ship was the complete opposite; so silent you could hear a mouse walking across the floors.

you just waited. waited until you could hear whatever little noises he made when he finally came. but what really caught you off guard was when he stood up to walk out of the room once he was done. you had to be quick to make it look like you had just walked out of your room too. once his door open you had turned your head to make it look as if he scared you. “what’re you doing up…?” he yell whispered. “i’m thirsty. why are you up?”

the question caused him to freeze in place. he squinted his eyes at you out of annoyance and whispered back “me too…” you could see his breathing quickening. he thought he had gotten caught. but you just continued to act clueless. so you got your water and went back to bed.

the next day during lunch you saw kai sitting down playing with his food. you walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. when he looked up at you he almost instantly looked back down. “hey kai.” you say softly. he flickered his eyes back up at you, flashing a little smile at you. it was so cute that it almost made you crack a smile yourself. “hey…” he whispered back. you decide to tease him a bit when you see how nervous he’s acting. he doesn’t usually act this way. he seems… guilty right now. “how’d you sleep?”

kai keeps his eyes off of yours, still picking at his food. “i slept… i slept pretty good. you?” you decide to mess with him some more but this time by actually doing something.

this time you reach up to his face, tilting his chin up to look at you. he swallows. hard. he can feel his face heating up at your touch. his eyes are soft and glossy. the way he looks up at you is enough to make you go weak in the knees. he licks his lips and moves his eyes to look at something else. “no no no… look at me.” you whisper firmly. “don’t get all shy on me now kai.” he looks confused. almost like he actually doesn’t know what you’re talking about. his eyes widen slightly and his hands start fidgeting with his shirt. you lean down, putting your mouth close to his ear before whispering again, “i know how dirty you really are…” his breathing gets deeper at your words, and his heartbeat accelerates. “w-what?”

you pull away from his ear and let go of his face. you flash a quick innocent smile before turning around to walk out of the lunchroom. by the time you make it to the door kai finally snaps out of the daze he was in and stands up to follow you. when he gets close enough he reaches out to grab your arm and flip you towards him. “what the hell are you taking about, ‘i know how dirty you are’?” he says continuing to walk towards you as you bump into your bedroom door.

he’s towering over you at this point — trying his best to intimidate you but it’s just not working.

“you know exactly what i mean… i know that you touch yourself while thinking of me.” he freezes, his eyebrows go up in realization and he starts to slowly back away from you. he stops moving when you grab the hem of his shirt, pulling him in closer to you. he looks down at you with pleading eyes. almost like he was begging you to make another move. but then he does something that catches you off guard. he tangles his hand in your hair before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. you both moan into like you’ve been waiting for it your whole life.

his grip on your hair gets tighter as his moans turn into whines. little desperate ones that got you so fucking wet that you soaked through your panties. kai used his free hand to open your room door and as soon as he shut the door behind him he began to take off his shirt and pants. once you were both naked, you reached down to stroke him slowly. he choked out a whimper when he felt your warm hand wrap around his pretty dick. the tip was already so wet from the stimulation of his pants rubbing on it before you two took your clothes off. “cmon baby… lemme hear those pretty noises you make all the time.” you whisper as you guide him to the bed. he lays down on his back as you climb on top of him.

his hands instinctively go to your hips as you reach around to line his cock up with your leaking entrance. when you finally sat down on him he cried out in pleasure. he gripped onto your hips so tight you were sure he was gonna leave a mark on you. you just sat there, letting him nestle inside you. you let him take a few seconds to adjust before you started to move your hips. you slid alllll the way up on him just leaving the tip in. you wanted to see how he would react — just wanting to tease him for a bit. “nononono- please just lemme feel you baby please-“ he choked out as he felt your tight cunt leave off his dick.

once you slammed your hips back down onto him little mumbles of ‘thankyouthankyouthankyou’’s left him. he was very vocal. even more than he was the night before. his whimpers were so sweet and soothing unlike his demeanor when he’s not just with you. you could feel his hands gripping onto the flesh of your ass as his moans got higher in pitch with each slam of your hips.

the room was filled with the sounds of lewd squelching and skin on skin. kai just kept getting louder with every move of your hips onto his pelvis and he wouldn’t get any quieter each time you told him to — so… you did what had to be done. you stuck your middle and ring finger into his mouth, muffling his sounds quite well. and by the way his cock twitched inside you, you could tell he liked it a lot.

you could feel his tongue swirl around the digits and his whining still getting higher even with your fingers that were just wrapped around his cock in his mouth.

“cmon lemme make you cum… can i? pleaseee just lemme make you cum baby.” kai mumbled out onto your fingers. you could still understand him quite well in this predicament. as soon as those words escaped his mouth he started to slam his own hips into yours. he wasn’t in this only for himself — he wanted to make you feel good too. your pleasure was his. the only sound that left him were muffled mewls and moans escaping his already distracted mouth. “awh kai… you’re doing so good f’me�� wanna make me cum?”

his head nodding with a quickness when you asked that question, his hips stuttering slightly. his moans got a bit louder but only for a second when you removed your fingers from his mouth and replaced them with your own lips. one of his hands once again went up to your hair, tugging at it slightly. he was so close he didn’t know what to do with himself. “ohmygod, keep going m’malmosthere-“ he cried out into your mouth as his eyes slightly rolled back from all the pleasure he was feeling at once.

you could feel this coil in your stomach about to snap with each thrust kai did. you could see his eyebrows knitting up each time he hit your cervix. “there u go kai, make me cum baby…” he could feel himself losing his mind each time your tight little pussy would clench around his length. kai couldn’t even speak if he really wanted to. he was so vulnerable right now that he didn’t know what to do. “fuck fuck fuckkk- m’gnnacum ple-“ is all you hear before you can feel kai spill his load inside you. soon enough you clenched down onto him, your orgasm coming right after his. he was panting beneath you, trying to calm down from what just happened.

his hand was still in your hair when he pulled you down to kiss him sloppily once more before wrapping you in his arms to fall asleep.

“i think you broke me…” he huffs out with a quiet laugh.

୨୧ 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮: @ludicdoll

[0littleladybug0]

haihai :3 could u please do mayhaps a cg!steve harrington x little reader an mayhaps they the little is a bit cranky >:O and maybe just wants extra cuddles and extra baby time w cg stevieeeeeeeeeeee :D I love ur acc btw

YES I CANNN!!!

this request is the cutest thing ever i love it so much (coming from a girl that gets supper cranky when im regressed 🤭

Cg!Steve Harrington x little!reader

Summary: someones getting cranky and Stevie knows just how to help

Tags/warnings: Age regression, gender neutral reader, tooth rotting fluff from our favorite cg, spelling mistakes if you squint your eyes (theres always gonna be at least one i miss), reader being the most teeniest tinyest baby ever, reader being insecure but dw Steve is to the rescue!, no use of Y/N, ive never written for Steve before so let me know how i did!!

DNI IF NSFW

It wasn't an exaggeration that you were completely and utterly exhausted. Between classwork and picking up as many shifts as you could with your part time job, you were stacked with responsibilities and were constantly busy. Its not like you were doing it all alone though, you and Steve have both been working insanely hard. You both needed and deserved a nice break from the real world.

Your little space was just that, it was perfect for the both of you! You loved being taken care of and Steve loved having somebody to take care of, and he especially loved taking care of his sweet sweet baby.

The only issue however, was that you always had a problem verbalizing what it was you wanted. You knew that Steve loved being your caregiver and didn't mind your regression at all, intact he praised it any chance he could and was beyond supportive of everything, but you just couldn't shake the insecurities away sometimes no matter how hard you tried to.

You had spent all week without slipping into your little space, something that Steve noticed very quickly since you rarely ever go that long without regressing, even if its just for a hour or two. You wanted nothing more then to slip and be babied by your cg, but the insecurities in your head were too strong, and that made you want to slip even more.

Good thing for Steve though, he had an indescribable gift of reading you just like a book. He knew everything and anything about your regression, and he knew that the longer you stayed big, the smaller and smaller you would regress.

So when you came back home from an exhausting shift after your classes, he knew what you were doing.

You kicked off your shoes and flopped onto the couch with a small whine escaping your lips. You were so tired you didn't even see him walking over to the couch, taking a seat right by your feet, rubbing circles on your back.

"Hi baby." he cooed, "lets change you into some jamies and get you some food, how does that sound?"

The idea of being all cozied up in your favorite pjs sounded like a dream, but the thought of having to get up and actually change, you simply just didn't have the energy for that.

you wanted Steve to pick you up and carry you on his hip, change you into your jammies and give you a nice warm bottle of milk.

And Steve always knew what you wanted. Which made you want to stay big even more, but you were beginning to slip and you couldn't help it.

"No, not tiny." you pout, trying to prove your point.

"You mean this itty bitty baby right here, this little one isn't tiny hm?" he asked, tickling you slightly at your sides. "Seems pretty tiny to me."

You giggle and squirm, immediately making you slip completely into your little space.

"Cmere sweetheart, lets get you changed, your to tiny to wear your big clothes, i cant imagine thats comfy."

"Wanna be in my jammies." you nodded in agreement.

Steve got up from the couch, a confused look lacing his face when he turned to see you staring up at him with big doe eyes.

"You want me to carry you, dont you?" Steve asked, already knowing the answer to it.

"Yes please." you said shyly hiding your face.

He chuckles to himself as he put his arms under yours and hosting you up on his hip. "Good job with your manners hun, where did i get such a polite little one?"

God he loved to see you blush and hide in the crook of his neck.

After getting you into some comfy clothes and a snack in your stomach, he knew that you didnt even need a bottle to knock you out for the night. Would you still be asking for one, oh absolutely.

You began to kick your legs when he hovered you over the couch in an attempt to you you down.

"No dada! No couch!" You shook your head vigorously.

"Baby, I gotta put you down somewhere, dont you want something to eat?" Steve asked.

You let out a whine and buried your head back into the crook of Steves neck. All you wanted was to cuddle with your caregiver, you didn't want to think about what you wanted to eat, let alone have the energy to actually do it.

"Just wanna stay with you." you mumbled, your voice soft and muffled from Steves shoulder.

"Ok How about this," Steve began, holding your cheek with his free hand so that you could look at him. "What if i made you some nice *comfort food of choice* and then a bottle after, huh? How does that sound?" Steve suggested, he could tell you were tired and fussy and all down right exhausted. he couldn't imagine all the big feelings you were having right now in your little mindset.

He waiting until you slowly nodded in agreement before walking over to the kitchen, with you still on his hip of course. After the food and the bottle was done, he walked you over to the couch and placed you on his lap. He pulled a throw blanket over your back and made sure your stuffie was close to your side and put on cartoons on the TV. You didnt have to ask him what you wanted, he already knew how to treat his tiny tiny baby.

he blew on your food to make sure it wasnt too hot before holding it out to you on your baby spoon, encouraging you to eat it.

He knew that in such a little headspace the last thing you had was energy to feed yourself. He never minded helping out his baby.

"Its yummy isnt it?" He asked in between bites, never rushing you and letting you take your time with the dish.

You would nod along, clinging to Steves side feeling your hangry crankiness slowly go away.

You giggled when he licked his finger and whipped your checks clean. Your laugher to Steve was like an angle choir, he would do anything to hear that little laugh.

After you were done with your food, Steve had so hesitation feeding you your bottle next. You could feel your insecurities rise again at the though of Steve having to take care of you so much, making you cranky again.

You tried to grab the bottle from Steves hand before he tapped it away.

"Its ok baby, let dada give it to you." he reassured.

That one piece of reassurance was enough to get you back into your baby headspace as you nuzzled your head further into Steves chest with a smile.

Your bottle was quickly finished as Steve reassured you with sweet nothings throughout it. He grabbed your paci and held it out waiting for you to take it. You had no hesitation letting him place it in your mouth. He brought both arms around you now, bringing you into a big bear hug. He layed down on the couch with you on top and ran his hand through your hair.

"Sorry i was cranky today." You mumbled through your paci.

Steve looked down at you at your saddened state. He hated when you apologized for feeling your emotions.

"Hey baby, look at me." He said, bringing a hand to your cheek, brushing it slowly with his finger. "You never have to apologize for the way you feel. Its ok that your not happy and playful everyday. Every baby has their cranky days. And i will always be there to take care of you no mater if your happy or sad or cranky or tired. Im going to be there for you no matter what. Im always gonna be here for my little baby." He kissed the top of your head and tighten his grasp around you.

You nuzzled back into his chest with a soft smile on your lips.

You felt loved. You were loved. Everything was ok.

You both fell asleep holding each other on the couch, you woke up feeling cured of last nights big emotions with the help of your cg and your littlespace. And even if you woke up and you were still little, you didnt worry about being too much for Steve. You knew he would grab you a juice box, set you on the kitchen counter and make you breakfast as you watched.

You truly couldn't ask for a better dada.

But yet again, he couldn't ask for a better little one either.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

[writing-whump]

Waking up

Isaiah wakes up after the operation. Mention of open chest wound, though not too detailed. Emeto down below.

Matthew sat down on the chair. Then got up just as quickly, barely stopping himself from pacing.

Seline sat straight on the other side, hands next to Isaiah's. She knew he had the operation, she was wrapping her head around the heart problems...but seeing it, seeing him like this, pale, unresponsive, with sterile thin gauze covering the long opening wound in the center of his chest...a gaping long line, like a bloody chasm-

Matthew gulped down audibly, gaze jumping from one corner of the room to the other.

Seline gave him an angry look. "You can't throw up here. If you can't stand it, go away."

Matthew flinched. He flinched almost everytime she spoke to him since the first talk with the doctor.

"No. I-I can take it." The red-haired man set his jaw resolutely, glaring at the opposite wall. After a minute he dared to flick his gaze towards Isaiah again. Like he was building up a tolerance to that sight.

Seline let out a tiny sigh. On some level she relized she was pretty hard on him. Espcially now, when they had bigger problems. But something about her seething resentment towards Matthew held her together. It was an easier emotion to focus on than the breath-taking sense of betrayal or stomach-clenching fear for Isaiah.

Or the horrible guilt in the back of her neck, like pressure gathering that told her this was all her damn fault for not noticing on her own.

For not being close enough, present enough to witness this, to help, to be someone they wanted help from.

Matthew was back on the chair, squirming on it. He braced his elbows on the matrass next to Isaiah taking slow measured breaths through his mouth.

Shouldn't blood be an easier sight for wolves?

Seline didn't know why it didn't bother her that much. There was more of a fascinated distant mortification that was a hole to Isaiah's inner organs, only with a bit of sterile gauze to protect it. She had to actively force herself to look away, cause it kept dragging her eyes towards it like a magnet.

Time lost all its meaning. Bodily functions didn't have any effect on them. There was no way either of them could eat or sleep or leave, and ignoring any tiredness in face of the tension in her back or Matthew's gritted teeth was easy.

This was the most alert emergency mode and it would probably crush them later. But right now the adrenaline was like 10 coffees in their veins.

So Seline had no idea how much time actually passed—it could have been a few minutes or two hours—when Isaiah started shifting around on the bed.

A soft groan escaped him and his eyes fluttered for a minute as he fought the grogginess.

Seline and Matt were both standing by that point, each from one side, breaths held back.

"Isaiah?" Seline called out softly.

Isaiah's face scrunched up, but his eyes finally opened. "Hmm? Where..." He looked to her, then to Matthew, scanning the room in confusion.

His eyes drifted downwards to his chest, the hospital gown, the blanket draped over him, several tubes and IVs sticking out of his hands.

The machine he was hooked to started beeping immediately as Isaiah's breath caught in shock.

Seline's put her hand against his cheek, coaxing him to look up at her. "Hey, hey, hey. Look at me, alright? At me, not there. You are fine, you are safe, everything’s gonna be okay."

Matthew's hand was on his shoulder, applying the gentlest pressure.

"What'-what's-"

"You had a surgery after a heart attack," Seline settled on the truth. "But everything worked out. It was successful. You are okay and gonna be completely okay."

"Why-why is that-" His green eyes were wide and his breathing was hitching from how fast it came.

Matthew grabbed Isaiah's forearm, palm wrapped around his elbow. Isaiah's fingers curled into Matthew's shirt in a vice grip.

Seline mirrored the movement, taking Isaiah's other hand into hers, the other still on his face, stroking gently up and down his cheek. "Shhhhh. We are here. We are here. You will be alright in no time. They are just letting some pressure and swelling up. It will go down and they will stich you up in a few hours. Your shadow will heal everything and you'll be all good in no time."

Isaiah's head twitched in her hand towards Matthew, like he wanted to check it added up.

Seline knew, she knew how close they were, all three together. That this was good, having them both by his side. She had never felt threatened by the closeness Matthew and Isaiah shared. All the experiences and commonalities, the quiet understanding, the open affection.

Now it made her feel like an outsider, disgusting bitter taste in her mouth.

"It burns..." Isaiah said, mouth twisting, looking at Matthew. He was gripping his hand like he was about to break it. "Like silver."

"Yeah, I know, buddy," Matthew said gently, his face drawn in pained lines. "They had to use silver cause your shadow was healing up all they did, even sedated."

Isaiah looked ready to cry at that admission.

"But not the opening wound," Seline interjected. The doctor's explanation ran through her mind nonstop. "Just around the blocked artery. Once they sew up your chest, the anesthesia wears off and you will be able to heal it up with your shadow. It will be just around the heart that will take a bit. But patients after these operations get home quickly, in just a few days after."

Isaiah nodded shakily, his breathing still fast, but not rising anymore. His hold on her hand tightened.

Seline brushed some of the black curls out of his face, then kissed his forehead. "Everything's alright. You are safe. We're right here and not leaving."

Isaiah looked towards the ceiling. "I don't like hospitals," he said, lips twitching in an attempted smile that couldn't hold.

"Nobody does, man," Matt said quietly.

Isaiah swallowed heavily, lips chapped and dry. He squirmed in their hold like he was testing how much he could move.

His body jerked suddenly and he looked down and up again, breathing in deeply.

"Shhhhhh. What is it?" Seline said, trying to catch his attention with her hand still pressed against the side of his face, thumb rubbing up his temple.

"My mom." Isaiah forced his eyes closed than opened them to little slits like the light was too much. "She-she was in a hospital with her heart...send her home and she died of it." The jittery twitchy quality to his movements was persisting, his head flinching towards Matthew. "Am I going to die?"

Matthew paled more than Isaiah's hospital sheets. "No! Of course not. No way we are letting you die, right, Sel?"

Isaiah's eyes went to hers in such fearful hope her heart squeezed, eyes burning. "You are not dying, baby. You are very strong, very resilient. They are taking good care of you."

"We wouldn't let them hurt you," Matthew said in a gruff voice. "Promise."

Isaiah looked towards the ceiling, straining in their hold with involuntary movements. "I want to go home," he said in a small voice.

"We will go home soon," Seline reassured him, leaned down to kiss his forehead. "It won't take long. You'll go to sleep for a minute, your shadow will come back and them you will heal up completely at home. All good."

"We won't leave your side for a second," Matthew added. He was focusing on Isaiah's face intentely to not mind the covered wound. He held Isaiah's forearm still up in the air with one hand, rubbing his shoulder with the other steadily.

"Hurts..." Isaiah whined. A single tear slid down his cheek on the side she was stroking it. "I don't feel good."

Seline thumbed the tear away, pressing her forehead gently to his. "Just keep looking at us, okay? None of this is important. You are okay."

"Want to go home," Isaiah repeated. The coherence was waning, his voice growing weaker. He blinked in exhaustion, another tear coming up.

Seline fought tears of her own with all she had, heart beating painfully against his ribs. She let go of Isaiah's hand in order to push the call button on the side.

It felt horrible, cause knowing he was awake, they would sedate him and check him if they could close the wounds...which was good, but it scared her that he would be closing his eyes again so soon.

Isaiah shuddered as the doors opened, people rushing in. "I don't-I don't want-"

"Just for a bit, buddy," Matthew said softly, cupping the side of Isaiah's face for a second before letting go. "We'll be here, when you wake up. First thing you see, I swear."

When the whole team of people came fussing over, Seline was forced to let go of Isaiah's hand. She never wanted to be a doctor more than in that moment to just know what was happening, what they were doing with the IVs, what they were checking him for.

A nurse ushered them out, saying they were about to roll him away to close the chest.

Seline stood in the hallway a little lost how quickly everything was happening.

A muffled groan interrupted her thoughts.

Matthew was leaning against the wall with an arm, pressing his palm against his lips with a nauseous expression.

He really held out that long for Isaiah, hadn't he?

Seline's heart wrenched at the realisation. She stepped closer, putting her hand on his elbow. "Come on. I saw a bathroom on the way."

Matthew let her steer him away from the wall to the small one-stall bathroom around the corner. She shut the door behind them to give them privacy, glad she could follow him in.

Matthew gagged against his hand, lowered himself down to the toilet in haste and burped emptily over it. "Ugh."

Seline hesitated, but then crouched down next to him as Matt shivered, gagging again. "That was a horrible sight," she agreed.

Matthew hiccuped, burying his head inside the bowl. His shoulders rolled with another empty gag. Then another muffled noise that sounded dangerously close to a sob.

Seline winced, risking to put her hand in the middle of his back. Her eyes were burning and her throat was all closed up. "Just get it up. You'll feel better in a minute. Deep breaths."

Matthew's shoulders hitched, wrapping both hands around his stomach as he heaved and heaved.

It made her suddenly wonder how much of this was Matthew's shadow reacting badly to stress, to having so many strangers around. How much did the pack behaviour play into this? Stressing him about the fact that was their pack leader too?

Shadow wolves weren't good with strained situations, emotions running amok easily. And Matthew's shadow was a hassle on good days.

She rubbed his back up and down gently, then added more pressure, thumping at his shoulder blades.

The motion ushered up a sickly burp and finally a gush of vomit spilled out.

"There you go," Seline said, stroking wide circles on his back.

Matthew let out a whine. His stomach was gurgling so loudly it echoed through the tiny bathroom. His whole back arched into her hand as another wave of sick splattered into the toilet, liquid against liquid.

He coughed against a choking noise before straightening up, nose and lips dripping with saliva.

Seline tore a bunch of toilet paper and handed it over. When he didn't take it, she gently dabbed at his face on her own, then threw it into the toilet and flushed.

"A bit better now?"

Matthew swayed dizzily, grabbing onto the porcelain rim for support. His eyes were glazed over and shimmering with moisture.

Seline made a move to stand. "I'll get you some water."

His hand on her wrist stopped her. Matthew didn't tug at it, just held it weakly. "Wait."

She lowered herself back to her knees with a sigh. "What is it?"

"Just-just stay." He looked away in shame, sniffling. "Please."

Even her anger didn't reach that far. And after seeing Isaiah rolled away with that gaping hole in his chest...

She pulled her hand out of his grasp only to take it properly. A tiny squeeze.

Matthew hang his head, not looking up, his elbow braced against the toilet seat. His breathing was evening out and he didn't seem so nauseous anymore.

Seline couldn't stand that look no longer, reaching over impulsively to wrap her arms around him.

Matthew gasped in suprise before letting himself sink into her embrace. His hands came around her waist, pressing tightly like that was all that he wanted the whole time.

"It's okay. We're gonna be okay," she said into his hair, burying her nose into it. She hadn't realized how much she craved this, how much more complete she felt with Matt pressed against her like this.

They held onto each other in that tiny bathroom, Isaiah's tears fresh in their minds.

[blueskittlesart]

blue blue you cant just drop the "its a metaphor guys" and then not elaborate. help my smooth brain. what is the metephor for the gloom hands

i know ive talked about this before because i literally wrote a whole comic about it but i can't find it sooo lol. anyway it's failure. the metaphor is failure. Consider where link is mentally during totk--he's regained much of his memories about his life pre-calamity, in particular he remembers the kind of pressure he was under to succeed at sealing the calamity, and arguably his experiences in botw only served to reinforce that mindset--he was shown exactly what happens when he fails or falters even a tiny bit. Hyrule is destroyed and zelda is trapped in a battle to the death with ganon for a hundred years. he likely carries a TON of guilt from that, and he hasn't quite been able to break away from the mindset that was instilled in him pre-calamity--that he is singlehandedly responsible for the well-being of the entire kingdom and any tiny slip-up or mistake could spell the end for everything he knows and loves. even the early events of totk reinforce this mindset--link makes one tiny mistake and loses zelda AGAIN, with seemingly no way to ever recover her.

All of this is to say that when totk opens, link is in a bad mental state, specifically, he's very much ruled by his fear of failure. after that mistake below hyrule castle costs him zelda, especially, it's likely he regresses back into a bit more of that pre-calamity hypervigilance and perfectionism, having been reminded exactly what is at stake.

As for where the gloom hands come in, I think the imagery itself makes it pretty clear what they're supposed to represent. The hands themselves make a constant reaching motion as they chase link, a motion which is VERY reminiscent of the reaching motion link made for zelda in the opening segment; a reminder of that specific moment where he failed and what it cost him. the "midday blood moon" effect present when the hands are giving chase is another visual element reminiscent of link's failures--specifically, it's harkening back to botw's calamity ganon, which had a similar effect on the environment the closer you got to it in the sanctum of hyrule castle. the blood moon effect is another visual memory of a specific instance where link failed to do his duty and lost everything because of it. these elements in tandem with the way the hands move mean that this entity is essentially link's failures CHASING HIM DOWN.

another element of this that I think is important is the fact that the hands are a cloak for another enemy--phantom ganon. to me, this is symbolic of the fact that although LINK may blame himself completely for the effects of the calamity and what happened in the opening segment of totk, the REAL enemy, the true cause behind all those events, is GANON, not link. but link is incapable of seeing this until he's willing to confront his fear of failure head-on and get it to drop the veil, revealing the true enemy underneath. because the hands are so viscerally terrifying to players, most early-game encounters with them will just end with you running for your fucking life, regardless of how obviously ineffective that strategy is--the hands are faster than you and don't consume stamina in their chase, unlike link, so they're almost always going to catch him in the end. the easiest way to defeat them is to get far away and fire off arrows, metaphorically forcing link to look his fears in the face instead of running away.

[clownmoontoon]

RAAAAHHH HELLO ITS BEEN A MINUTE!!! \OUO/

YOUR FAVORITE CLOWN IS BACK IN BUSINESS ive been quiet a while, a LOTS been going on in my personal life that brought my social medias to a complete (and unfortunate ToT) standstill til now!

i rlly wanna talk about it, its been honestly life changing and for safety i need to add some warnings:

cw for abuse both physical and emotional, and suicidal thoughts/ideation (dw im ok and not suicidal! i used to be and i finally have real context as to why)

ANYWAYS LETS TALK ABOUT IT

i got the opportunity to see a therapist for free for the first time since i was a kid and it was IMMENSELY eye opening.

SOME CONTEXT: ive lived with just my mother since i was a teenager as i tried to "make it" as an artist. ive had my ups and downs w this career goal and have been heavy in the midst of a very big Down period. entirely brought on by how sick i was at the start of the year to june (infected lymph nodes, pneumonia, 2 pounds of tumors in my uterus that required the removal of the organ entirely etc, i may have a weak immune system im realizing sdlkjd) which resulted in me having very little energy to create and/or post content. by july i needed to basically start over. which i was excited to do! i WANTED to get back to work and i was even excited for art fight! ;u;

aaaand in july is when my mom thought would be a good time to threaten to kick me out unless i found money to give her or got a "real" job. this came as an extreme and horrifying shock as i had just asked her the month before to "believe in me just a little longer" as i finally felt i realized what id been doing wrong all these years before and felt strongly i could succeed before the end of the year, she not only emphatically agreed but even said i didnt need such a time limit and she definitely didnt mind supporting me til i reached my dream lol i couldnt even do anything until july bc i was busy recovering from major surgery, coming home with tape on my stomach to heal the incision that hadnt fully closed yet

ive wanted to see a therapist for ages bc im Full O' Trauma and i knew it would help. The way this worked was basically like getting a free trial, i got six days of therapy (to be spread out as far as i liked) thru zoom.

i used the visits more for getting advice on how to reach my goals thru mental blocks and exhaustion bc ultimately i felt like 6 days wasnt enough time to get into trauma stuff and i really just wanted to get my career off the ground again, hopefully permanently.

i had vented a tiny bit about my mom and by the final visit w my therapist i decided to forgo the "how to better reach my goals" questions and ask if she had advice on how to handle someone like my mother, who i had to live with and rely on and who would often say something cruel whenever the mood struck. as i told her about my situation she stops me and asks

"do you hear yourself? bc i hear you"

and im suddenly so scared shes going to tell me the same, "get a real job" "stop acting so selfish" etc

instead she says, "this is abuse, youre literally describing an abusive relationship"

i was in complete shock

i even asked her how could i be the one being abused when i was the one using the resources and she compared it to a person getting married to someone rich and that rich person treating them like theyre worthless for not also making money.

it shook me to my core especially bc my mom loved calling me an abuser and comparing me to her abusive ex husbands (one of which used to abuse her physically, punch her/beat her etc) and saying im just like them

for the record ive never laid a hand on her, she would say these things whenever the mood struck, often out of nowhere

once bc i told her i couldnt read her mind and didnt know what she wanted lol wild

ANYWAY after this conversation i started looking back on my life and realizing why ive always felt so worthless, why i thought until my early 20's that suicide would be the best option for everyone. i was so exhausted from chasing this dream and feeling like such a worthless burden, my mother would get so angry with me for just existing and i felt like she would be so much happier if i were out of the picture, my sisters (both a decade older and living w their own families) calling me a leech and selfish for "using" our mother etc

any time i would stand up for myself, kindly and meekly as i could my mother would tell me how she wanted to punch my mouth, slap my face etc for years i thought she'd eventually fly into such a rage one day that she'd kill me and... i honestly didnt really mind the thought once while in high school my mom picked me up for lunch and offered to pay for a prom dress. i told her that it was ok, i knew she was struggling w money rn and i didnt really wanna go to prom anyway she flew into such a rage she pulled over on the highway just to pull my hair and beat me, and then dropped me back at school to finish my day lol

realizing that all of that IS NOT OK OR A NORMAL WAY TO FEEL OR BE TREATED AND I DEFINITELY DIDNT DESERVE ANY OF THAT was extremely eye opening

i told my best friends what my therapist had said and they were both like YEAH... DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU HAD AN ABUSIVE MOTHER??

apparently it was very obvious ^^; my friends were shocked to find that i thought everything was my fault, my therapist even used the term "gaslighting narcissist" to describe her which was WILDLY VALIDATING for me lmao

sitting w all these thoughts whirling around my head my mom texts me suddenly and tells me to ask my sisters for money (13 hundred dollars lol) bc she needs it for "bills"

i didnt want to do that at all she told me to "use my big words" to convince them and not to say it was her idea, but instead to act like i was asking bc i wanted to

it felt gross and made my skin crawl and honestly didnt even make sense bc WHY would i need that money so i asked but let my sisters know it was my mom asking and said she prob felt embarrassed to ask, while telling my mom that i asked in the way she wanted

my oldest sister makes good money and has helped our mom w money in the past. she texted me back asking why our mom needed money and why 1300 and i told her honestly i didnt know, i asked my mom what to say and she said to tell her she had an itemized list but she left it at work and couldnt remember what was on it lol

my sister told me to tell our mom that she couldnt help rn, so i did and my mom encouraged me to push harder to my other sister

suddenly the sister i had been talking to texts me and says that our mom left her a voicemail saying she doesnt know WHY i would ask for money, must be bc she threatened to kick me out bc i never help her with money :,( which was WILD bc any time i had money my mom would get most if not all of it, i havent been able to save money since ... ever tbqh, even when i tried my mom would successfully guilt every dollar from me letting me know i didnt deserve to save a penny after all shes done for me aaAA

ANYWAY i was so angry and hurt that my mom would just throw me under the bus i told my sister i had proof i wasnt lying (bc she was already inclined to believe our mother since they both considered me a leech to start with) and sent her screenshots of my texts

she was shocked and hurt too i decided to tell her about my therapy and how my therapist had called our mom an abuser and she answered that she understands more than ill ever know... which is very sad hjghfgf

we havent really talked more since and i deleted my texts to the other sister, more likely than not my mom sent her a similar voicemail

im very tired

i want to get out of here, im finally seeing this relationship for what its been for years and years, even back to when i was a little kid! i didnt know about suicide but id dream of being an animal in the wild bc i felt like if i were just out of the picture everyone at home would be less angry

its something that enrages me now tbqh ive tried all my life to be as little of a burden as possible and now im ready to be a problem LMAO :o)

the long and short of it is that i will be posting art sales and opening my patreon FINALLY to try and save up funds to get out of here ive also gotten a part time job on weekends for a little cushion tho some of that money will inevitably go to my mother, unfortunately

she doesnt know about the money i make online :o)

my family has constantly called me selfish, entitled and spoiled for just asking for common decency and to be treated like a person, theyve dehumanized me to the point that my greatest coping mechanism was creating a creature sona that isnt human but a monstrous equivalent lol AND I LOVE THEM IM EMBRACING CREATURE LETS FUCKIN GO

i know this has been long and if youve made it to the end i love u and im so thankful for your support!! ;u;

FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!! i want to come back full force, i havent stopped drawing at all, just havent had the energy to do much til now

my therapist even pointed out that i probably WOULDVE had at least moderate steady success by now if it werent for my mom's constant abuse

OH ALSO I NOW HAVE FOUR CATS LMAO a stray i had been giving water to and keeping safe from weather things (extreme heat, extreme cold etc) had her kittens here! and my mom gave me the ok to keep them all ;u; (and then ofc rescinded that but thats hardly a surprise now lol) and man, having kids cats sure changes your perspective on what u want and feel like you deserve! I NEED TO DO WELL BC THESE KITTIES DEPEND ON ME AND I LOVE THEM QVQ <3<3

SO YEAH IM BACK BABY IM GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE ASAP AND CONCENTRATING ON MY WELL BEING AND MENTAL HEALTH!! 😤🔥

[sholmeser]

THANK YOU finally someone here has a good take regarding the "haha barok and kazuma violently hate each other" thing?? ppl insisting that their dynamic post-game is always gonna keep being the exact same as when they're at their most extreme emotional states just... baffles me, especially since they're literally shown to be civil to each other right afterwards. it's Right There! idk why so many ppl ignore this! in general their circumstances are so unique that it's a huge disservice to boil them down just to being haters.. like yeah they're gonna be huge mess after everything, but not in the way that fandom usually potrays them. if kazuma fully hated the guy i don't think he'd insist on keeping the apprenticeship the way he did in game. sorry if any of this makes no sense, i have too much bottled up rage regarding fandom nonsense. nuance and character growth are nonexistent to people here

also scrolled through your other posts a tiny bit and i feel you, it truly is hard to be in this fandom and not be an as//ry liker, especially if you're a kazuma enjoyer. difficulty level: impossible. you're not alone tho! :')

sorry for leaving this in your inbox, hope you have a nice day/night!!

ANON….THANK U…..i feel like a big problem with the dgs fandom in particular is that they dont really consider how 2-5 affects character dynamics post-canon? because all the change is right there. ive talked about this but its like portraying kazuma’s relationship with ryuunosuke as Exactly The Same post-canon when it would be DRASTICALLY different despite them still loving each other very much, because ryuunosuke now sees all of kazuma. he was only seeing a very small part of who he was before, and his entire perception of his best friend got dismantled and replaced by a completely different one in a really short period of time.

the exact same is true for kazuma and barok: they have despised each other so deeply and irrevocably for a DECADE and now suddenly they have to accept the fact that nobody really did anything wrong. kazuma tried to send barok to his death, but he was doing it out of grief and rage built up over ten years. barok convicted genshin and that led to him dying, but he was young and naïve and grieving and being manipulated by stronghart the entire time. genshin killed klint but he did so honorably. klint was a murderer but all he wanted was to make his home a better place for the people in it. its all so complicated and nobody is completely innocent or completely at fault. everyone did something wrong for good reasons and everyone did something good for the wrong reasons. it’s too nuanced of a situation for them to truly go on hating each other the way they used to, because they’re both MATURE ADULTS who can understand the intricacies of the situation.

do i think they dunk on each other post-canon? i mean. yes. obviously. do i think they HATE each other, still, to this inane degree? no. obviously. their relationship is going to be strained. there’s literally no way that it wouldn’t be. but they respect each other, they hold each other in high regard, and they’re respectful. and it sucks because these changes in dynamics are literally SHOWN at the end of 2-5 but people just like. cant. comprehend them. like i just don’t get it. also if kazuma is going to hate anyone in the cast its going to be herlock like he fucking SHIPPED HIS AMNESIAC CORPSE TO CHINA and never apologized for it i would NOT be letting that go anytime soon

[kingwolfie08]

sammy lawrence

i wasn't planning on posting anything to my tumblr again, but devientart isn't letting me post something from the website, so ig im posting something here.

anyways, this is a redraw of the first drawing ive made on my first ipad, and this will also be the first time ive posted that said old drawing.

ofc it wont be the first time i redrew one of my drawings, but like- this is the first thing ive drawn on my ipad. and like- it looks bad. and i was proud of it at the time.

anyways heres the old drawing first:

so like- i used to sketch bodys with these weird ovals, and then erase some parts, so they didn't look weird, even tho they still ended up looking weird, and i did that with this drawing.

so i think i based this drawing after sammy lawrence from back when chapter 2 came out (or just beta sammy), so thats why he has no feet (but then like- i used to give my characters nubs for hands and feet at the time, but telling that it looks purposely cut off at the feet, that its how i wanted it to look.)

okay and the mask (or just how i used to draw any of the characters, that looked like they had bendys head. ) my head thought that if i made the space inbetween the horns a circle, then it would look good, but i was completely wrong, it looks bad. like- it looks like some badly shaped moon.

and the face. bro has the face shape of a wonky mcdonalds logo, and i drew the eyes without trying to sketch them first.

and the legs... bro has wobbly legs.

also i sucked at poses (i still do suck, but its not as bad as that old drawing.)

anyways, enough of that monstrosity, heres the redrawing:

you all can tell i got better at art.

there were afew details i wanted to add to this, but i just felt like they didn't look good (like the bits of ink that was missing from the one eye. i tried to add it, but i didn't like it much.)

the space inbetween the horns look more abit like an oval, than a circle.

also, he has shoes (or boots) now. he is nolonger shoeless.

anyways for the pose. i tried to make it look a tiny bit more realistic with the arms. (basically he actually looks like he has elbows, then having two weird elbows, that look like a failed attempt at a rubber hose style arm, on one arm, and a short elbow on the other.)

also, his legs nolonger look like they are in constant pain, and i even got the hole in the mouth of the mask right (its not the right shape, but its just how ive been drawing it now currently.)

also the hands look even more like hands than the original, and they dont look like their hurting at the wrists. (no srs, looking at the old drawing again, hurts my eyes with the hands. like- they look like weird cat paws, and they weren't even holding the axe right (bros gonna do nothing holding that axe like that-😭💀 wait- should i even consider that an axe in the old drawing, it looks more like a weird hatchet due to how small it is). oh yeah, not to mention that, that the head of the axe, wasn't even on the handle. if bro were to hit something with that axe, the head would just fly off like nothing.

also, the outfit looks much more like overalls in the newer drawing, than the old. really, it only looked like poorly made stripes thats supposed to resemble overalls, but dont much.

oh yeah, that old drawing of sammy isn't the first time i drew him. before drawing digitally, i mostly drew on paper. i actually dont remember what my first drawing of sammy was.

oh yeah- i tried to make the mask sammy wears, look like it was an actual mask, but when i tried to make it look like there was a head behind the mask, i didn't like it at all much, so i decided to not add it, and i think it turned out well, when i did that.

i also wasn't originally going to give sammy some of the extra details, like the sides of the face, but im happy i chose to add them. (i might not add as much detail than i did in that redraw, if i ever draw sammy again.

anyways, i should stop typing now.

all i gotta say is that i hate that old drawing, and im happy that the redraw turned out well.

[stardustfanfare]

i never particularly liked things boys liked (mostly sports i guess i liked the other stuff) probably mostly because of socialization and clinging to the tiny bit of female representation i got in things that i liked as a child & generally felt like i was a girl/comfortable as a girl but as ive grown older ive realized that experiences and feelings that (are obviously not universal but) many cis girls and many trans people who have complicated relationships with femininity are familiar with sound completely alien to me. its weird that in a lot of ways despite being a cis* girl i often feel like i can relate more with cis guys? maybe its from having two younger brothers & autism but the more i think about it the more i realize ive never really been part of the group "Girls". its not that alienating or anything and doesnt often bother me but i think thats why i absolutely could not stand being in a cabin with only girls for a full month last year. & ill have to do it again this year 😭 like obviously somw of it is being a freak but it seems more and more obvious that i grew up in a world completely separate from & yet adjacent to everyone else??? & even other queer and autistic people i know dont seem to understand so idrk whats going on there

*not cis exactly but cis presenting & use she/her pronouns so for the sake of simplicity thats the more helpful term

[kittylordinfinity]

fav inside out emotion? :-]

Ok here’s the bombshell ive had the ability to drop ever since you started blogging about this: i have never watched a single one of these movies. My only exposure to them has been through trailers and your posts/reblogs. HOWEVER!!! Because i love asks so much. I have done some Scholarly Research into these Beasts. And this has allowed me to create a list of my top three (because i dont have a strong enough preference to pick just one), in no particular order:

- Disgust: Disgust was always the one i was most drawn to of the cast from the original movie, which makes since given that im almost always guaranteed to love the token hyper-fem of any character group, and also pink and green are my two favorite colors. However i’ve always kinda had beef with her design because to me it just doesn’t really convey disgust that much? It conveys like. Fashionista, or something. So she can’t be my top pick because of that, but she still seems pretty cool. I like the moment in the trailer i saw where she gets weirdly invested in uplifting an edgy anime fighting game boy. It doesn’t make since for a character entirely themed around disgust At All but i like it :]

- Fear: Look i was original gonna put Sadness here for cute design, cute voice, and plot relevancy advantage, but i was looking at a picture of all the characters so i could consider my options and Fear just snatched up my heart and ran with it. His design is really cute, i especially love the little curly antenna thing hes got (and it EMOTES!!! EEEEEE-). Also as someone who deals with a lot of severe and mostly unfounded fear in my day to day life i feel like i’d relate to him the most if i actually watched the movies. Also ALSO, it is cute that he sleeps with a night light. That gets him a lot of points.

- Ennui: Sleeper hit for me, considering i usually despise overly apathetic characters AND characters who have a gimmick related to being on their phone all the time. But i like her design a lot, i’m really fond of the floppiness of her limbs and Purple Character Who Is Tired is a character design trope i kinda adore. Also THE SOCKS!? i love it when a character is just wearing socks. Also between you and me there is a pesky tumblr user on my dash who keeps posting cute fan art of her and it is, to my chagrin, giving me a bit of a fondness for her. (If they had gone with the emo design in that concept art then she would’ve gotten the number one spot Easy)

Honorable mentions:

- Anxiety: probably could have made the list off of relatability, like fear, and floppiness, like ennui, however got completely knocked out of the competition because of that (in my opinion) hideous shade of orange. It makes me think of cheeto dust and that makes me think of it being on my fingers and “weird food dust being in my fingers” is definitely one of the Top Ten Physical Sensations That Make Me Want To Jump Out Of My Skin The Most. Dislike.

- Envy: I like her big puppy dog eyes and the take on envy they used for her, that being focusing on the admiration aspect of it, is a really interesting angle to go with in my opinion. But i’m just not fond of “tiny big eyed character who is mostly there to pull on heart strings and be funny” trope and i don’t think she breaks out of that archetype enough for me to not be kinda annoyed by her. Also for some reason i just DESPISE everything on her design below her head, the colors they picked out for her outfit just Do Not Vibe with me.

- The Knives Chau esc hair streak Riley gets: self explanatory.

(Please note that if i come off as hyper critical of any character in this its not because i think its objectively wrong to like them, i just have fun critiquing things at length)

Ok thats it!!! Bye bye :]

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Royal Servant (3/10)

Read this way back in middle school... shared mangago lists with one of my friends and recognized this one and decided to reread. Lord. Who Likes This. The story is about Kyon and his master Lucaon and theres like some plot bullshit since in this world theres these guys who are royals and got these powers that they never fuckin use and live longer too and are strong n all that. and the only way to kill one tho is to give them this special poison that is completely undetectable and the only way to cure it is if the person who administered it fixes that shit. But yeah Lucaon hates servants and Kyon is a servant and Lucaon is a classic stoic scum gong and falls in love with Kyon but only starts being nice to him once Kyon literally spends 20 chapters on the brink of death lol bro got a fever and slit his wrists and fell into an ice pond and then got a fever again and pneumonia and Lucaon went "..... ok ill be nice to you now"

the art is good for this story dont get me wrong but its really really really stiff expression wise. maybe i'm just a little stupid and i need to see a huge cartoon tear drop to tell a character is sad but for realsies I do think that the art is pretty, but the expressions when bitches are fucking dying and shit could be a little more extreme. its okay to sacrifice their pretty boy looks for one pannel trust me..

The romance itself is just like whatevs. I will admit I am a fan of how kyon will just take anything like bro does not give a fuck okay cuz hes madly in love with Lucaon and doesnt care what he does to him. Im pretty sure in one chapter Kyon is just walking in the halls and Lucaon lunges at him and bites him until he bleeds and kyon passes the fuck out from the attack and its just like ok lol. LUCAON DOESNT GIVE A FUCK HES SO MEAN TO KYON UNTIL HES SUDDENLY NOT BECAUSE HE HAD HIS SCUM GONG REALIZATION WHEN KYON TRIES TO LEAVE HIM 15 MILLION TIMES AND ALMOST DIES IN EVERY INSTANCE OF TRYING TO LEAVE. the upside to kyon is that hes a simp and a pussy and he is a bit of a little bitch but he isnt a whiny bitch about it. like lucaon is his tormentor and he finds out that THERES A POSSIBILITY that he could be the cause of Lucaon's demise and immediately is like okay ill kill myself i need to get out of here and thats why he almost dies 10 million times trying to leave bc he only tries to leave bc lucaon's blonde ass brother is like dude. you might cause Lucaon to die since you're a secret spy with your memories wiped. AND ITS KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE HE STRAIGHT UP SEES KYON ALMOST DEAD IN BED AND GOES "GOD I WISH THIS BITCH WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY" LOL!!

When i was younger i was a fan of the pink haired guy (lucaons other brother) and his servant who is his boyfriend and treated as an equal and yeah younger me was right tbh kind wish the story focused on them instead. but ngl i hate the entire family drama thing bc like its the plot and all that but im like WHO GIVE A FUCK? this manhwa is just mid. mid as fuck. I'll admit when i was younger i re read the 20 chapters where kyon is on the brink of death like 50000 times over and over again because i loveeee suicide and i lovee when kyon tries to kill himself a million jillion times and Lucaon is like FUCKING STOP. theres like idk tiny hints of goodness. I can enjoy a good scum gong alright and I do like when Lucaon is like "brah... ive seen you cry more times than smile..... thats kinda fucked" MMMMMMM YES. FEEL BAD. FEEL REMORSE. but its just not worf it okay the manhwa sucks and its 100 chapters or some shit like that bruh moment. I also do like how at the end Kyon acknowledges that hes going to die before Lucaon and Lucaon needs to learn how to love other people than him because he doesn't want Lucaon to be stuck on him forever and ever. I think it was a nice bittersweet thing. In short. just not my thing. mid. equivalent to eating spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner. Like you can... wont be very satisfying tho

[gabapentinblues]

nightly journal 1.24.2025 tw; substances, ed

ive been reallllllyyyyyyy stressed. right now im stoned in bed on my laptop. my stomach kind of hurts. my digestion has been off and i havent been eating well.

im so stressed bc my parents are coming to my tiny apartment to take as much stuff out of it as we can and that basically sounds like a waking nightmare.

i woke up and didn't feel completely terrible today. i even almost felt a little bit happy when i was drinking coffee and scrolling my phone. not exactly happy but definitely not miserable and i appreciated it.

last night therapy was really nice. i went in the evening instead of the morning and it was so much more enjoyable. too bad ive already been going for like three months. i wish i could see all the records and charts they keep on me or whatever. im just obsessed w knowing what people think of me, especially therapists and psychiatrists. just knowing that they all get together multiple times a week and discuss me as an individual and i dont get to know every word of what they say drive me insane.

im definitely more in the mood to type right now than i have been. someone in my group therapy mentioned feeling a shifting energy on like a personal but also larger scale and im hoping to pick up on that, i dont know. the days are getting longer. i can leave for therapy before its dark out.

last night we made apple cake which turned out suprisingly well and talked about triggers and becoming flooded. its something that happens to me a lot, like more than i ever realized. i guess being more aware of it is a good thing even though i still feel like i dont know what to do about it.

i also had a good individual session w the art therapist, she talked to me about being kinder to my depression. she said it seems like ive been at war with myself a lot of the time. i think she isn't totally wrong. they always talk about the different parts of yourself as little kids you have to take care of. its hard for me to think of my depression that way, but it does seem like it would make it easier to take care of so im trying.

i went to see my friends band play, bought us tequila shots and had three beers and it was literally only 30 bucks so that was great. the music was great too, i was really glad i went. i got a ride home w my friend and tried not to feel like a burden about it.

ive been having such a hard time not binge eating. like if theres food i just wanna eat it and i cant stop myself and my digestion has been so whack because of it, its miserable.

went to work today and it was just really slow and boring. wasn't in a good mood and then i was rude on the phone w my mom. im so stressed about them coming here tomorrow. theres still a lot i need to do before they get here and i dont know if i should just do it all in the morning or get something else done tonight.

need to shower, do dishes, ideally do laundry, put away clothes, vacuum, put my art out in my car, take out the trash and set things out by the dumpster, and go thru my bathroom cabinet. realistically i have the four hours to get all that done and thats probably enough time. it will probably better to have more to do tomorrow to keep me busy up until my parents get here. otherwise i'll probably just sit around and get in a bad mood.

i took things down off the walls when i got home and organized a bit. really think i might be done for the night though, just need to somehow get thru the night without binge eating.

[themothsnest]

For as much shit as i (privately) give the local kids due to experiencing more than 12 overstimulation meltdowns due to screeching children in the past 3 years after going most of my life with only 1 or 2 every few years due to being a very indoorsy autism creature

One of the 4 is loud but not a dog whistle squealer and we found out he's moving soon and earlier on got confirmation that he has ADHD so I'm a bit more tolerant since he's a good kid who just puts the hyperactivity in ADHD a bit too much

He also gets bullied by the squealers a lot cuz they are bratty kids

Anyway!

I recently got some Pokémon cards cuz I'm a gremlin that likes to collect things and am finally in a position where i can occasionally indulge the crow braincell and my autistic ass forgot to brain to mouth filter while the kid's mother stopped by for a quick chat not long after i opened my first elite trainer box cuz she mentioned he struggles with making friends due to being seen as weird (due to being neurospicy we all know this story too well) and i ended up piping up about how she could probably get him to talk to me about Pokémon as a last resort since we both liked Pokémon and were both neurospicy (granted its opposite ends of the spectrum)

Fast forward a few days to today and ive completely forgotten this interaction happened cuz i had a dentist appointment and some strong painkillers

8:20am theres a knock on the door and it turns out that it was the kid coming over to drop of a little stack of Pokémon cards for me since his mother obviously mentioned it to him and had wanted him to do a little organisation of his cards before they moved

I decided to keep these cards separate from my tiny collection so they dont get lost as the collection grows since im planning to treat myself to 3 more elite trainer boxes this Christmas and organise my cards in small stacks based on the card type (item, trainer, energy etc)

The funny thing? I never mentioned which mons were my favourites and Bulu is my favourite of the four Tapus due to it's lore (Koko and Fini are a close tied second due to their shinies) so it's pure chance that a Tapu Bulu GX was in the stack

Hopefully life treats the kid better cuz secondary school bullying is nasty around here if you aren't one of the "in crowd" with being neurodivergent resulting in it being even worse and he's already had some shit due to bullies going way too far

Might see if i can find some new Bluetooth headphones before the end of this month to replace my 8 year old pair though because the footballs hitting fences and all the squealing is very unpleasant for me due to my sensitive hearing and i quite like the idea of not having to deal with yet another set of 4 overstim meltdowns this summer