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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Hi Clyde 👋🏻 So Ive been watching as your response posts come thru about RWBY and you obviously know alot about it. As someone who knows nothing at all about it, I was wondering if you could explain it to me. Supernatural I get. Jupiter Ascending I get. Even that Jar Jar Binks post floating around Tumblr (if you havent seen it yet, it’s probably a good thing) I get, but RWBY im still sort of having trouble getting up the interest to watch. Is it worth it?

Hello! I'm definitely answering asks in a timely fashion. Watch me go! 😅

Ah, is RWBY worth it. That there is the million dollar question. Not to give a copout answer, but I really think it depends on what you're looking to get out of the show. Our beloved JA and SPN are great comparisons because they're both extremes too. They're doing something really interesting that succeeds in captivating its audience... and then, arguably, faceplant when it comes to a lot of basic writing expectations. SPN far more-so than JA imo, just due to being a 15 season show vs. a 2 hour movie. Though not quite of the same caliber, RWBY has a lot of the same whimsy and creativity. A sort of, "Go with the flow not because it necessarily makes sense, but because it's fun." Or, as the RWBY fandom puts it, everything follows the "Rule of Cool." If you like JA's awkwardly delivered "I love dogs" you may also like the awkwardness of Ruby eating cookies by having them disappear when they approach her face. The self-awareness that RWBY had in the beginning — we're a low budget webseries created for the fun of it with lots of ridiculous gags and flashy action — feels, to me, similar to the self-awareness of JA: "We're a film that's going to take a 13yo girl's fantasies very seriously, right up through getting an angel-wolf-alien as a boyfriend." There's even a lot to be said for RWBY's similar motivations: a girl power story, a focus on the action (with Monty's fantastic choreography), meant to be progressive in particular ways, etc.

Personally, I really love the first three Volumes of RWBY. They're ridiculous, badly animated at times, and mishandle a racism allegory like whoa... but they've got a lot of heart. They're fun. They're enjoyable in that "Turn your brain off" manner. The basic premise is that a girl with silver eyes gets into a Huntsmen Academy two years early — a school that trains young adults to battle the monsters that populate their world. She's set up as the pure hearted hero with the mysterious power via her eye color. She gains a team of three other girls who must learn to work together as they navigate school and a coming war. Everyone has crazy outfits, crazier weapons, and at one point there's an epic food fight battle that I've watched on Youtube too many times. It's playful and has just enough worldbuilding to spark the imagination; just enough solid characterization to get you to fall in love with the cast. If it were the summer of 2016 I'd recommend RWBY wholeheartedly as the webseries equivalent of a beach read.

The problem is that things #happened at the end of Volume 3. No spoilers, but suffice to say things got intense during that finale, thrusting the show into a very different era. Suddenly, the show wanted to take itself seriously in a way it never had before... so many in the fandom, such as myself, started taking it more seriously too. We had higher expectations for the show since the show itself was egging those expectations on, tackling sensitive material and talking up the impact of their work. Yet, sadly, these expectations weren't met, with the problems becoming more pronounced with each new Volume. The retconning added up. Certain characters were done dirty. The allegories got really offensive. RWBY's idea of feminism became warped. We've got a ship that many consider queerbaiting at this point. Morals are all over the place and there's no longer a consistent message to the show... it's a lot. The sort of "It's a lot" that we might say about SPN too. Fans are right to point out the laundry list of bad writing choices and offensive content strewn across SPN's 15 seasons. Fans are also right to point out the many aspects that kept its audience hooked despite all that. Same with RWBY. Me? I think RWBY is a very badly written show now... but I enjoyed it enough, for long enough, that I'm still invested enough to see it through. Meanwhile, others don't see anything wrong with the writing at all. They've hailed the last two Volumes as the best to date, with even better work to come. There's a pretty intense split between those who critique the show and those who insist on its near perfection.

So I suppose I'd recommend it, just because I'm not confident in giving a definitive "Lol yeah this is trash" condemnation. Not just because there were things I did (and at times still do) love about RWBY, but because my interpretation, quite obviously, is subjective. I can't ignore that those of us who critique the show are the minority. So statistically, if RWBY ends up being your thing, you're probably more likely to enjoy all that the show has produced thus far — within reason — than you are to have a falling out with it. I think overall there's enough good in RWBY to give it a shot, especially when, depending on how you approach your shows, that good might still be there for you 8 Volumes later. Just go in knowing that, if you enjoy the first 3 Volumes, you might be severely disappointed down the line.

The other upside though? The initial episodes are very short! So you can try a couple out without giving RWBY too much of a time investment.

(Also, side note, but WHAT Jar Jar Binks post?? Oh god I'm scared lol)

#rwby #rwde #is this rwde?#idk anymore #mymetas

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northoftheroad · 5 years ago

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The Robin 80th Anniversary Special

It's not a secret that I'm first and foremost a Dick Grayson fan, whether he comes dressed as Robin, Nightwing, Batman or something else. But I try to be charitable and be happy for fans of the other Robins that they got a pice of the birthday cake, i. e. the Robin 80th Anniversary Special.

For your enjoyment (?), here are my thoughts about the book. Spoilers ahead, obviously – don't like, don't read!

I honestly thought almost all of the stories were ok – but pretty forgettable. Marv Wolfman's spin on Dick leaving to become Nightwing, in "A little nudge" (art by Tom Grummett and Scott Hanna), is probably the only one I will remember and reference in the future. I don't know if or how it is supposed to fit into the (any?) continuity, but as far as I can see, it works nicely in the current setting.

Dick's parting from Robin and Bruce was successively portrayed as more and more hostile. When he originally left Robin to become Nightwing (1983–1984), the two still had a good relationship. This changed in comics to, first, that Bruce decided to retire Robin, and then to that Bruce outright fired Dick and kicked him out of the cave. This lead to that their relationship was portrayed as poor, antagonistic even, for a good many comics years.

The bad mood was picked up by Batman The Animated Series, where Dick left being resentful of Bruce and his methods.

I don't have a lot of good things to say about what has happened to the Bat-family after Flashpoint. But from what we've seen from scattered panels, Dick was the one who decided he wanted to leave Robin. You can read Marv Wolfman's story as confirmation of that. Which is nice.

Bruce is only a little bit of a jerk in this story, being utterly rigid about that Robin has to follow orders. Dick, however, chooses to stay with a kid that had been shot instead of following the criminals.

Dick has had it with Bruce's rules and leaves the cave, but he says "later" rather than "goodbye".

It's made clear that those strict rules were Bruce's way to say, "I know you've grown up, and you should move on; I'll be fine without you."

Batman # 408, where Bruce decides to retire Robin because he got scared when the Joker shot Dick, is firmly established in my mind as the "correct" leaving story in my mind. It was the only one I had read and knew of for many years, and the two still part on decent terms. But Marv Wolfman's 80th Anniversary version has a lot going for it.

On to the rest of the stories...

"Aftershocks" By Chuck Dixon, art Scott McDaniel and Rob Hunter.

Set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. It's an action-filled story where (fingerstripe) Nightwing comes to Gotham after an earthquake has hit the city.

It's interesting to read this, living through the corona crisis that is going on right now. I don't know how it is where you live, but where I am, people are setting up networks to help people who can't go out to shop or walk the dog, University students are helping kids do their math lessons with the help of Facebook, people make masks for health workers etc. But when Chuck Dixon writes what happens after a catastrophe, Dick has to fight his way through masked thugs who are trying to rob an ambulance of "painkillers and tranks" when he tries to save a cab from falling with a damaged bridge. A woman is giving birth inside the car, and the story ends with that the mother wants to name the boy after Nightwing.

"Well...Robin works, right", he says.

"Team building" by Devin Grayson, art Dan Jurgens and Norm Rapund.

Well, I'll always soak up everything that has to do with Dick and the Titans – Teen Titans, New Teen Titans, Titans, any Titans...

Devin Grayson wrote The Titans 1999–2000, which is the setting of this story. Most of it takes place inside a H.I.V.E. locale, where an exasperated boss (Damien Darkh) chews out his soldiers after a fight with the Titans. But Darkh decides not to kill the lot of them, because they did distract the Titans while he stole a red crystal/power source. Of course, it turns out Dick is the soldier who has kept his helmet on; he takes the crystal with him and gives Darkh a bit of advice on team-building on his way out.

"Generally speaking, fear of execution isn't a great motivator. I've found basic team-building and morale-boosting to be much more effective. Like, I'm just spitballing here, but... You ever consider a pizza night?"

Well, it did keep me amused, and it shows us that Dick is a good leader and strategist, (and a great acrobat who manages to get out of the H.I.V.E. uniform with one hand, on the way out), although it isn't exactly a surprise that Dick was in the building when you get near the end.

"The Lesson Plan" by Tom King and Tim Seeley, art Mikel Janín.

Now, I do like some things about the Grayson run, but with a bit of distance, I've realized it was mostly the art. The sexualization of Dick and how King and Seely wrote him as a guy who jumps first and plans never got tiresome. This story is in-character for Grayson; Dick is accompanied by a girl (Paris) from St Hadrian's on a mission, and on the way, he remembers the lessons Batman gave him and imparts his own interpretation of them to Paris. As is Batman says, "plan everything", and Dick says "Improvise. Leap first... figure it all out on the way down." Ergo, classic King and Seeley. Also, it is possibly implied Dick made out with a beautiful girl that turned out to be gorilla in disguise...? Yep, vintage King and Seeley.

Other than that, I don't have a big problem with the story. Some things ring true to me – as when Dick remembers Batman saying, "At their core, people are cowardly and self-serving. Trust no one until you know them. And even then, never completely". And what Dick says is, "Give the benefit of the doubt until you gotta knock 'em out."

For my own peace of mind, I'm reading this as Dick is half-joking with his advice. It's not like we've never seen him make plans and be suspicious post-Flashpoint.

On a side note, one of the best characterizations of Dick Grayson to my mind is a panel from Black Mirror. When Dick explains he had injected James Gordon Jr with a subdermal tracer, and says about himself, "I am a softie. And I do try to see the best in people... but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Detective Comics # 881. By Scott Snyder, art Jock and Francesco Francavilla.

"More Time" by Judd Winnick, art Dustin Nguyen.

Jason has a cute story about him repairing Thomas Wayne's watch as a present to Bruce. He started the work as a tiny Robin (too tiny, in my opinion, but with Dustin Nguyen on art it probably couldn't turn out any other way) and finished the work as Red Hood. Jason delivers the present to Bruce on his birthday, placing it on the Batmobile while it is parked in a Gotham alley.

"Extra Credit" by Adam Beechen, art Freddie E. Williams II.

Tim has an appointment with the guidance counsellor at Gotham City High School. Tim sees a future in law enforcement (that's the first I've heard of that, but I'm no expert on Tim) and he's adopted (again, something I haven't seen post-Flashpoint). But the counsellor doubts that Tim will be admitted because he has nothing to show when it comes to extracurricular activities. It's kind of a fun few pages where the counsellor suggests things that Tim could do, and Tim thinks about what he does as Robin on his spare time.

"Boy Wonders" by James Tynion IV, art Javier Fernandez.

Tim, Red Robin, is unsure what he wants to do with his life and goes to his brothers? fellow Robins? for advice.

I know emotions have been running high because Dick tells Tim that he is "demonstrably smarter" than he is, which makes it sound as if Dick is not really smart at all.

Again, for my peace of mind, I choose to read this as I want: that "big brother" Dick is encouraging, he has always thought highly of Tim, he has no ego to preserve. This doesn't make Dick a reliable narrator on the subject, and the page ends with that Tim thinks "He was the first. He's the best. He's always going to be the role model. "So, two brothers who admire each other.

Tim also talks to Jason and Tim, and the story ends with that he tells Batman he wants to start Gotham Knights protocol, the team in Detective Comics (Rebirth.) 2016-2018.

"Fitting In" by Amy Wolfram, art Damion Scott.

Stephanie, as Robin has problems because Tim's Robin suit doesn't fit her female body. But at the end of the day, Bruce gives Stephanie her own "changing room" in the Bat-cave, because she's female.

...are Bruce and Alfred idiots? Did Dick, Jason and Tim have exactly the same body type when they were Robin? Stephanie deserved a story worth being told, not this one.

"My Best Friend" by Peter J. Tomasi, art Jorge Jimenez.

Jonathan Kent writes a school essay about his best friend, Damian. As he writes the words on his laptop at home, they are illustrated with pcitures of the two as both Robin and Superboy, and as Damian and Jon in civvies. Tomasi and Jimenez worked with Super Sons (2017–2019), and though I didn't read that, I'm pretty sure this story is an extra chapter in that series.

"Bat and Mouse" by Robbie Thompson, art Ramon Villalobos.

It's not the worst story in the book, but somehow the one I disliked the most. It is part of what is going on in Teen Titans and Bat-titles right now; we see Alfred's tombstone and how Batman and Robin have a strained relationship and difficulties in communicating. I'm not keeping up with what is going on with Damian and Bruce in detail, so I really can't say whether this story is consistent with how things have been going lately. I'll let Bruce-and-Damian fans take that ball.

To be honest, my reaction to "Bat and Mouse" is probably due to that I really, really don't like what's happened in the Bat titles lately. I firmly hope that the current situation will be changed and Alfred will be alive again, and I wish I could go back and re-read this book years from now without being reminded of this very dark time when DC seemingly doesn't want any money from me for new comics...

Being who I am, I probably take it waaaaay too seriously to try to understand where/if these stories fit in the DC continuity... The writers have probably (rightly) thought more about writing a good story than making it consistent with any grand plan for a timeline for all of the DC universe. But whatever.

The Grayson story clearly happens in a post-Flashpoint universe, as does Damian's and Tim's stories. But Tim says he's adopted, which I believe has never been said outright post-Flashpoint. And Stephanie has as far as I know not been Robin in this continuity. Chuck Dixon's Nightwing story is explicitly set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. Post-Flashpoint, he moves to Blüdhaven for the first time in Nightwing vol 4., so Dixon's story should take place in the old continuity.

On the other hand. The last pages of the book are made to look like profile overviews in the Bat-computer and use pictures from different Robin runs. If the snippets of information are supposed to be the current continuity for the Robins, a lot from the pre-Flashpoint universe is back in canon.

Shortly, Dick was adopted (that's the word they use), formed the Teen Titans, moved to Blüdhaven and was Agent 37 for a while. Blüdhaven comes before Agent 37, but it's not explicitly stated when he first moved there. Because if Dick was in Blüdhaven before his time with Spyral, it is inconsistent with parts of Rebirth Nightwing. (Which I can live with...)

Jason's story starts as the street kid who tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile, his stint as Robin was short, and today, Red Hood has formed a tenuous alliance with Batman. Tim uncovered Batman's secret and made a bid to become the new Robin – and his new moniker "Drake" is acknowledged. Stephanie was Robin for a very short while. Damian was created with genetic material that Talia stole after a romantic tryst with Bruce, and he was bred to be an assassin.

Personally, of course, I think that Dick Grayson was worth more of an effort from DC on his 80th anniversary. But on the whole, the things we got were decent, "A little nudge" gave me something I will keep with me, and several of the covers are great.

(The cover photo is still pinched from Dan Jurgens' Twitter – I haven't bought all of the variant covers.)

#Dick Grayson #Robin #Nightwing #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #80 years with Dick Grayson

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mockingspock · 8 years ago

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Kirk and the Friend Problem (Chapter 1)

Summary: The problem starts in the Starfleet Academy and doesn't end when Jim goes off into space.

There was a problem right away. My hands were filled with coffee but I really need to push the button to open the door. I decided to look through the window in a vain attempt to make eye contact with Bones who could hopefully read my mind and open the door for me. No such luck as I spotted my favorite doctor intently listening to the lecture. How dare him. Fortunately, I remembered elbows as I carefully held up my arm and pressed the button. The door slid open allowing me to walk through the room allowing everyone's judgmental eyes to land on myself.

I walked towards Bones who already looked disappointed in me. However, I saw a flicker of happiness in those eyes as he saw what was in my hands. "Coffee?" I asked holding the drink out to him.

"You're a damn life saver." Bones said. His quick hands snatched it and poured the warm liquid down his throat. I could almost see him become more awake.

"Perhaps I should be a doctor." I said, sitting down.

I began to tune into what the lecture was about as I began to type the professor's words quickly. There was something about tonight and the auditorium. Then he continued to speak about guests who will being showing up in the new few weeks to answer any questions we may have for our essay. Oh no an essay. I don't even know the subject. I'll have to ask Bones over what the topic will be about. I can study it quickly before I began.

Bones took a break from drinking to say, "You're seventeen minutes late to class." Before he returned to his cup.

"I got the good coffee."

Bones nodded still drinking. "Hmm mm." he agreed. "Alright. I'll send you my notes."

I sighed with relief. "Thanks." I said before going back to listening to the lecture. There was a small ping that I quickly muted before clicking on the notes I was sent. Three pages. Bones types faster than me. I was about to look over it before the light was switched off in the room distracting me for a moment.

"Be sure to be in the auditorium at 2100 as we watch the documentary appear on television." Professor Gill said in the darkness before there was a click and a screen appeared.

"Oh sweet a movie?" I whispered.

On the screen Professor Gill clicked through some videos as he looked for a specific one. I leaned forward.

"Not gonna be very enjoyable." Bones said. "We're discussing Tarsus."

I recoiled away from the screen no longer fascinated about what we were about to watch. No no no. "Why?" I asked, sounding similar to a child who just got in trouble and doesn't understand the reason. I grabbed my coffee wondering if I could just walk out. Would that be abnormal? I have left class early before…. Not right after I showed up though.

"Read the notes I sent you kid." Bones said. I clicked through the notes again now looking over what he had typed. Tarsus IV. Shit it's true. My eyes scanned down the page. Half the population were executed under the order of Kodos due to the lack of food obtained because of the "Well hell you actually seem interested, for once." I looked up to see Bones was watching me as he was seemingly amused over the situation. I didn't find it very amusing.

I clicked the page away and sat back attempting to breath normally – to do everything normally to be normal. I couldn't let Bones figure out something was wrong. It's just a short video. I didn't even need to watch it I could close my eyes… Well then Bones would wonder why I'm closing my eyes.

"After the trailer, we will discuss the survivors that will appear on the documentary and which ones will be showing up here to speak." Professor Gill said before he stepped back and the video began to play.

There was a quick shot of a boy sitting in a chair looking at someone behind the camera. He had on a blue hoodie in which he stuffed his hands on their pockets. He had a nice shy smile. It was the smile that made me recognize him. Kevin Riley. "It was the perfect place. My parents loved it there. I thought it was finally a place we would call home." He said.

Then the screen went black. It stayed black for a bit before white words appeared that read out

Sixteen kids on their own.

Seven eye account witnesses.

The last part stood out to me. Where was the other one? Nine of us made it. Where was the eighth?

The screen went to a woman sitting down now – Francine. She looked beautiful with her dark hair down in a low ponytail on her side. "Things changed so fast." She said. The camera didn't stay on her long as it was now rushing through the woods perhaps to give the impression of running. I didn't care for it. I ran through the woods enough I didn't need to relive the feeling.

"None of us knew what we were doing. We just knew we had to get out of there." I couldn't tell who the voice belonged to. They had made it into a voiceover as the camera was showing places we had hidden when we were on the run. There was a quick shot of a field. The field we lost some people…

It showed photos of some children looking wide eyed at the camera. They were skinny and bruised. The photos fell on top of each other before staying on a photo of the group a bit longer than the others. The photo was of Kevin, Thomas, Evette, and Donovan when they had been rescued.

"They just hunted us down. A lot of us didn't make it." Another voiceover. This time female.

The screen was black again followed by white words

Chilling stories

A redhead appeared that would have seemed unrecognizable would it not have been for the fact she was the only one in the group with that color of hair. She had been so young. So little. Thomas and myself took turns carrying her when she had been injured. "I thought we was going to be caught, but we were so hungry we needed the food." Evette said.

A photo of the soldiers with their weapons flashed on the screen.

"I still can't believe how lucky I was at the time for him to have found me." Another voiceover as a blurry photo of an injured skinny kid looking tired that I recognized as myself. My eyes cut to Bones to see if he caught anything. His eyes remained on the screen.

Black screen white words

Reports from Starfleet Members

A Starfleet member I didn't recognize was now talking to someone a little behind the camera- why did I find that annoying. "There was so many mistakes. Mistakes that caused many lives." She said. Her voice was professional and somber. It reminded me of Pike.

"We had no idea it could get that bad." A voice said over a photo of civilians before the massacre. They were smiling and looking happy but the photo was now black and white for dramatic purposes.

Then the video slowed when it stayed on a different person saying their account. He was a man close to my age with handsome features of dark hair and one dark eye that was actually looking at the camera – the only person that has so far. Even if he wasn't wearing an eyepatch I would know who he was. Thomas.

"It never should have happened." He said.

And for the last time the annoying black screen and white words said

The Tales of Tarsus IV

The light went back on in the room with some sighs of relief. The video must have affected more than just me. I'm going to hate this essay.

Walking out of the building with Bones we were both noticeably quieter after the video. It must have been less than two minutes long but the photos were disturbing to look at. We both carried our coffee out the door but Bones was the only one still drinking from it. My minds wandered to the possibilities of how I could rush through the essay and get it over with.

"We have to watch the show tonight. Not gonna be late are you? Should I save you a spot?" Bones asked.

"Yeah." I said. I'm not quite sure what I just agreed on.

Bones must have sensed that my mind was elsewhere because he stopped me. "In case you don't go over the notes in time, you have to pick a kid to write an essay about. It doesn't have to be one of the seven eye account witnesses. It can be any of the nine survivors… So. Pay attention." He said before stepping away and departing to his next class.

I continued to stand there, dreading that night.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12087084/chapters/27395046

#tarsus iv #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #star Trek aos #Star Trek aos fanfic #Star Trek fanfic #postsimade

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moviegeeksfilmnews-blog1 · 5 years ago

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Star Wars:Episode VII

We now know who will write and who will helm the first of the stand alone Star Wars movies. And thanks to CNet we have a release date. The movie is scheduled for release on December 16th 2016, making the May release dates a thing of the past. The film will be directed by British born Garreth Edwards. Mr. Edwards’ first movie Monsters was one of my favourite films the year it was released and he went on to direct this year’s Godzilla showing just how capable a director he really is. /Film ran a piece about the announcement and quoted Mr. Edwards as having said the following:

"Ever since I saw Star Wars I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life – join the Rebel Alliance! I could not be more excited & honoured to go on this mission with Lucasfilm,"

As for the writer on the as yet untitled movie; we get Gary Whittas. Mr. Whittas was responsible for The Book Of Eli, which was another enjoyable and very original movie. One has to wonder about what tone the producers are aiming for for the first standalone Star Wars movie. When you compare the DNA of Monsters and The Book Of Eli there are some interesting parallels.

So what will the first non saga film in the history of Star Wars focus on? There has been a lot of chatter on the interwebs about more prequels. Yep, prequels. It doesn’t matter how you cut it, a Boba Fett or a Han Solo movie would be a prequel. In fact, mining anything from the canon would constitute a prequel, but to we really want to see early years stories of characters like Yoda? I’d have to come out and say no thank you! Remembering that the above announcements are the only official word on the projects so far, let’s take a look at the rumoured release schedule:

Firstly here is the predicted line up:

2014: Rebels

2015: Episode VII

2016: Boba Fett

2017: Episode VIII

2018: Solo

2019: Episode IX

2020: Red Five

From the top then: Rebels airs on TV later this year. There has been talk that there will be some familiar faces in the cast. Obi Wan Kenobi been all but confirmed, Lando Calrissian is being strongly rumoured. And why not? Vader, the Emperor even teenagers Luke and Leia are available to draw on in this time period and I’m sure after a couple of seasons the creators will start looking in those directions.

Then we have Episode VII

As yet untitled but currently shooting with an exciting cast, I think we all have quite positive feelings about this movie. J.J. seems to fully respect the franchise and understand what made the original films great so we can relax a little bit there. We’ve had a couple of video messages from the director including this one which featured an interesting practical effect.

Here we reach our first bump in the road

The next prediction is for the movie Mr. Edwards is due to helm. This movie, according to rumour, will be about Boba Fett! I really hate this idea. Here’s why: we have gone back and studied a mysterious character from the original trilogy before. That character was Anakin Skywalker. Now, I was perfectly fine with Darth Vader having been Anakin. I was happy with the nods toward his past with Obi Wan, his appearance beneath the mask in Jedi and his old man force ghost in the trilogy’s closing moments, then we get the prequels. Now I don’t bash on the prequels like many people, I enjoy much of what’s there, but I’m certain I didn’t need so much Anakin back story. The attempts to make Anakin and by extension Vader more sympathetic harmed the character if Vader. In fact I wonder just how much power that character would have for an audience familiar with the new running order. The “I am your father” moment is lost forever right? So do we really want to be looking into these character’s pasts again? Perhaps in some cases, and we will get to that in a moment, but certainly not in others. Boba Fett was arguably one of the coolest things about the original films, helped largely by the fact that he was a mystery. He came out of nowhere, had two or three lines, did his evil deeds and disappeared. He was incredibly popular as a result and I think its fair to say throwing the character under the spotlight in Attack Of The Clones was a mistake. Knowing where he came from undermined his character. Making his ‘father’ the clone template and placing them both in the Battle of Geonosis made the universe of Star Wars seem smaller. Why does everybody have to cross paths with everybody else? Chewy in Revenge Of The Sith, and The Clone a Wars TV series for that matter, did the same thing. It shrinks the world, why wouldn’t their big screen entrance into this world have been the first involvement with it? Leave their origins alone.

Let’s skip ahead to 2018’s offering. It’s rumoured to be a Han Solo movie. What could that possibly be I wonder! The character is reportedly taking centre stage in a Episode VII, so it won’t be a sequel, we’re getting that already! It won’t be set between episodes either and I’m pretty sure it won’t be an art house piece focusing on his time in carbonite as told through his nightmarish fever dreams! No this would be another bloody prequel! Another origin story for a character I’m happy to have met the moment he slid behind that table in A New Hope! I don’t want to see him as a kid! Even Uncle George dodged that bullet in Revenge Of The Sith when he abandoned a story that had a young Han Solo on the Wookiee home world. Leave him as a figure of mystery. We know enough, he was a smuggler, he was a gambler, he won the Falcon and cheated Jabba. And he shot first! Why do we need more that that? He served his purpose in the trilogy he was in, he served the story, he was never the focus, Luke was. We don’t need a Han Solo movie.

This brings us to another problem. Casting. Who would play the characters? Boba Fett could be anyone really that doesn’t matter. Prequel actor Daniel Logan lacks the chops so we might want to pass him over, but you can stick anyone else under that helmet and let them have a go at it (Karl Urban please), but Han is different. You only have a limited time frame to play with. Han was about 35 in Star Wars so you need to go younger than that. Too young and you make the Anakin mistake from Episode I and it becomes something other than a Han movie. Han will have to be in his late 20s early 30s and perhaps be played by an unknown with a passing resemblance to Harrison Ford. Good luck with that! Or, Zack Effron has been long rumoured as a potential Star Wars actor, is that what you want? No, leave the Solo character alone, we don’t need more detail on his origin thanks.

But there is one character that we could see work. The time frame is clear, at least until the Rebels TV show time frame, about 4 years prior to a Episode IV A New Hope. We’d be picking up after the prequels, before the original 1977 film, and you could cast the same actor. Step forward Obi Wan!

An Obi Wan movie could be perfect! He spent years in the wastes of a Tatooine as far as we know! Nothing else is eluded too in the original films. Maybe he had off world adventures? Maybe he worked with Clone Wars characters like Ahsoka Tano in those years. We’d get to see those characters in live action. Perhaps he has to fight off those hunting down the Jedi. Maybe it’d be a small self contained western style story set in a dusty little alien town. Perhaps Obi Wan and a female character, potentially Ahsoka, would find themselves on the road, against great odds travelling to safety in a wild and desolate landscape filled with deadly creatures and dangerous marauders. Perhaps Obi Wan would be tasked by someone to return something precious to him, maybe a Jedi Holocron, that he will need to protect! If any of those elements seem familiar to you it suggests that you may have seen Garreth Edwards’ Monsters and the Gary Whittas penned The Book Of Eli.

This has to have crossed the collective minds of producers! Ewan McGregor has indicated that he’d like to return, and I’d love to see him in the role again. Tell a simple, stand alone story, and get it right, and you’ll be able to do another one in a few years! There are stories that exist to be draw on too. Like the novel Star Wars Kenobi and the graphic novel that sees the return of Darth Maul. Now I know that’s been covered in the, now canon, Clone Wars, but it’s an example of the freedom the Obi Wan character gives creators. He is an established character with a solid back story, we know what happens to him so he’ll need others to interact with so the story has something at stake. We also don’t know the fate of Ahsoka Tano. When last we saw her she left the Jedi. What’s her fate, do you think the creators will leave her out of the expanded stories?

Finally, 2020 will supposedly bring us Red Five. Red Five was Luke’s call sign in A New Hope, but by Empire he was Red Leader and never returned to Rogue Squadron, so what’s the plan here? Recast Luke? Tell Rogue Squadron stories set between A New Hope and Empire? No thanks to the recasting I can live without that! An animated film perhaps? Maybe an animated TV show like Rebels? I could deal with that. They’d have a short window within which to work, even if there was two years between episodes IV and V that’d only give you two seasons of TV wouldn’t it? I guess each season could focus on a six month period and then you’d get four or five seasons so that could work. So if there is any truth to the Red Five rumour I’m betting on an animated Luke focused TV show that takes over from Rebels.

So what about the future of big screen Star Wars? Another trilogy? There could be an argument to be made here. Disney have a huge cash cow with this franchise, one they paid top dollar for, you don’t expect them to call it a day at Episode IX do you? There could be Obi Wan sequels that see Ewan McGregor reprise the role well into his later years, as he catches up to Alec Guinness’ age. How about original characters? The new cast could spin off into stand alone movies? Prequels! We could have Darth Plagueis or Darth Sidious origins, maybe we see young Darth Maul. I’m not saying I’d like to see those, but they’re options.

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 8 years ago

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time.

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour.

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it.

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?!

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder.

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE.

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case.

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

ema: can i fuck off now

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

“back in the old country”

...england..?

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out.

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA.

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you.

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL. THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

why the fuck did he

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL

AW YEA

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting.

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

Huh.

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller.

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

oh wait

ah here we go.

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell.

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

what the fuck is his deal with being king

OH SHUT UP DURKE

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

when

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im so.... i #this fucking game good christ this fucking game

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