#jesse is always processing whatever he sees

[misstoodles-doodles]

Patching Up & Post-Mission Debrief (AU)

AKA a 3 character sketch that got way WAY out of hand.

Close ups:

[luvrxbunny]

so much

pairing: bf!Miguel O’Hara  x f!reader

summary: You give Miguel a handjob for the first time.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, handjob, lots of cum (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 2.1k

a/n: i blacked out again. 

Miguel stopped kissing you maybe fifteen minutes ago. He said he was getting too worked up and that you guys should stop, of course, you respected his wishes. You’re both now sitting in bed, he’s reading and you’re supposed to be doing some extra research but all you can focus on is the bulge in his pants. 

This happens a lot, you guys get heated and Miguel stops everything. It’s been six months and you’ve never seen him cum. You’ve told him you love him, he’s made you cum with his fingers and his mouth but you’ve never seen him cum. It doesn’t bother you too much, you just assumed he wasn’t a very sexual person, although you are and you love pleasuring your partner, you love him more. So you decided you could deal with it, but then you noticed that he would get hard, quite hard, and just not let you help him. You’ve offered many times and he always protests, saying “It’s fine, it’ll just go away.” 

Once he even went into your bathroom for it. He chose to get himself off instead of just letting you do it. You tried to ask Jess about it but she says that Miguel doesn't talk about that stuff, all she knows is that he’s definitely not a virgin. So your last option to understand is to just ask him. So you do. 

“Miggy?” His head comes up from his book to look over at you, peeking over his glasses like a librarian, making you chuckle. “Um… You- You’re—” You start the sentence but soon realize how awkward this conversation could be. You try and figure out ways to piece it together as Miguel sits up straight, closes his book, and takes his glasses off, giving you his full attention. Now that he’s straightened himself out he’s looming over you a bit, making you even more nervous. 

“You’re still… hard..?” It comes out as a question more than a statement and mumbles more than words but he understands you. He clears his throat awkwardly as you slowly close your laptop and cast it aside. “Y-yes, I am.” He’s looking around the room now, his eyes avoiding yours. 

“Okay. So do you not like handjobs or something? I just- I know that you’ve gotten something before I just don’t- I don’t know why you won’t let me.” You’re looking at him as you speak, he’s looking at the duvet, and from the corner of your eye, you swear you see his dick jump in his pants. 

“Cariño… I-” He takes a deep, slightly frustrated breath and looks up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to explain himself. “I want to… Tan jodidamente mala but… you’re different.”

(“... So fucking bad but…”)

Insecurity spreads through your body at his words. Your mind is already racing, trying to decipher what he could mean.   

What the fuck? How am I different? Oh god, is he not even attracted to me sexually? Maybe I’m not his type. Is there something I’m missing? Maybe it’s something that he’s into, maybe I just need to get into whatever that is? Unless it really is just me that’s the problem…

“I love you so much…” The words instantly relax you. You believe him when he says it, but his tone implies that it’s a bad thing. “I’ve never felt the way I feel about you for anyone else. So-” He sighs again and runs his fingers through his hair. “So I’m- I’m more sensitive… when- when it comes to you.”

Arousal pools at the bottom of your stomach as you process his words. ‘More sensitive’

The thought that he hasn’t wanted you to touch him because it would feel too good has you leaking between your legs. 

He’s silent as you process, he’s waiting for you to laugh. But when he looks over at you you’re looking up at him with those eyes. The ones that always have him hardening in his pants before you have to say anything. The ones that he pictures on late nights when he can’t sleep. The ones that burn into his eyelids as your name falls from his lips and he cums all over his sheets… Those eyes. 

He huffs out a breath and shakes his head, denying you before you can even propose your suggestions. “No, cariño. I- It’s embarrassing.” He protests but his voice is getting breathy, arousal leaking its way in as he watches you seat yourself by his knees, facing him. Your hand is placed on his upper thigh which has begun to twitch under your touch. “We can’t, I can’t. Habría mucho también.”

“Mucho?” You question, only understanding some of what he said. “A lot, what?” You’re focused on his face, watching it contort as he whines at the Spanish that rolls off your tongue. Your hand has begun to massage his thigh, you can feel the fabric pull tighter with every pulse of his cock. Your hand slides up, closing in on where he wants you the most. His head falls back against the headrest as pleasure shoots through him. 

You can tell he’s being honest with his reasoning as you watch him. He’s letting out tiny moans, little whines like you’ve been teasing him all day but you’re just massaging his thigh. You keep it up, just groping his twitching leg as he tries to hold his moans in so he can answer you. “C-cum, habría tanto semen.” His hips start thrusting off the bed, barely noticeable.

(“C-cum. there would be so much cum.”)

“Yeah? You’d cum so much for me, Miggy?” You move from your spot, throwing your leg over him, straddling his thighs as you begin to palm his dick. His eyes roll back into his head as moans rip from his throat. He quickly grabs your wrist, roughly, stopping all your movements. His head raises to look at you. 

“I’m- I’m a bit… nervous, cariño. It would be a lot for me. I- No one has ever seen me like that. I’m only like this for you, I- can’t help it." His eyebrows furrow, and he huffs at a breath, like he's angry at himself. "I don’t want you to think it’s… extraño, anormal, or that I’m- I don’t know.” You can see the genuine concern on his face, and the fear in his voice as he anxiously rambles. 

("... strange, abnormal,")

“Miguel…” He whines at how you say his name, you smile brightly and fondly at the sound. “I love you. In a way I didn’t even know was possible. I’m never going to think you’re-  like, weird or something. At least not in a bad way. I-” You sigh gently and look into his eyes, you wrench your hand out of his grip and place it on his face, pulling him in for a soft kiss that he whimpers into. You pull away and give him the most serious look you can manage. “We don’t have to if you’re too nervous but if you’re worried about what I’ll think? Please don’t.”

He holds your gaze, considering your words for a moment. “But there’s mucho, cariño. No importa lo que yo haga. When- whenever I think of you, there’s… so much.” He tries to express his concern but you really don’t understand.

("No matter what I do.")

“Miguel.. That just- That just turns me on even more I- I don’t see why that’s a bad thing.” You speak honestly, watching his face shift into a mix of pleasure and confusion as his head falls back again. His hips press into the air, his legs spread, opening himself up for you as a pathetic “Por favor” falls from his lips. 

You spring into action immediately. You pull his pants low enough for his cock to fly out, instantly standing straight, hitting and staining his shirt. A hiss falls from his lips as you wrap your hand around him, and his head comes up to watch you. His eyes are watery as they stare at your little hand around his huge cock. You’re watching him, you don’t move yet, you can see him taking in every detail, committing the scene to memory before meeting your eyes. 

“Ready?” You ask him with a devious smile on your face. He nods vigorously, “Sí, estoy... estoy tan lista, cariño. Por favor.”

(“Yes, I'm... I'm so ready, honey. Please.”)

You run your hand up his cock, swirling around the head before meeting the base again. His reaction is instant and extreme. His hands leave your hips for the bed as his claws rip into the sheet. His body is already shaking as tense, short, and quick moans fall from his lips. All his muscles are pulled tight as you slowly run your hand over him. His eyes are wide, staring at your hands as they pleasure him. 

You’re mesmerized by his cock, red, hot, and pulsing in your hand as you stroke him. Pre-cum is spilling from his slit at a consistent pace, making him all wet and sloppy. You hear his head hit the headboard again as his moans grow more unrestrained, shouting out into the open air. “I- I-’m not- Can’t” He lets out a frustrated whine that morphs into a genuine moan before he tries to speak again. “No voy a durar. Joder, tus manos son el paraíso, cariño. No voy a durar mucho, no puedo-”

(“I’m not gonna last. Fuck, your hands are heaven, honey. I won't last long, I can't-”)

You can’t understand the words but based on how frantically he says them, the way his hips have started thrusting up into your hand gently and the way his legs are spreading themselves wider underneath you are good clues. “You’re gonna cum, Miggy?” You finally look away from his saturated cock to observe him. His face is flushed, as he nods at you desperately. He tries to moan your name at you but he can’t form the syllables. You love it. Seeing him like this, wet and aching for you. This is definitely going to become a daily thing. 

“Yeah? You promised me a lot, hermoso. I want it all. Give it to me, baby.” He fully shouts your name at the Spanish pet name. He grunts pathetically as he lifts his hand from the bed, willing his claws to retract so he can touch you. His hand squeezes your hip desperately, shaking as his moans quickly rise in pitch and volume. Your eyes are focused back on his erratically twitching cock, you don’t see his head lift to look at you.

He’s cumming the moment he can see your face. 

You stroke him as fast as you can, listening to his breathy sob as his cock shoots out heavy ropes of cum. He’s watching your face, trying to gauge your reaction through his cloudy eyes. You’re watching his cock in awe, his cum runs over your hand, coating your fist as you jerk him through it. He’s nothing but a bundle of gasps, moans, and sobs as his cock spurts out a whole new load. He watches your face as it morphs from disbelief to burning arousal, your breathing speeds up the longer he cums. He can hear whines start to slip out of you as his hips jerk into your hand. You tear your eyes away from the cum pooling around and coating his cock just in time to see his eyes shift from you to the back of his head. He lets out one last drawn-out wail before his hips rest back on the bed. His cock begins to soften, spurting out tiny ropes as you stroke him softly, helping him down. You try to get the raging fire in your stomach and the flood between your legs under control before getting up for a towel. He was right. There was so much.

You wipe him down as he whines and mumbles deliriously until you hear a little sob and he reaches out for you. You throw the towel to a corner of the room as he pulls you into his chest. He whispers what sounds like thanks and praise into your hair as you kiss his chest. 

“Gracias, cariño. Eso- eso se sintió tan bien, te sentiste tan bien. Te amo.” You giggle at him gently. “You’re welcome and I love you too, baby. You know I can’t understand most of what you said, right?” You feel his chest rumble with a chuckle before he speaks again. “I- I know, it's just… El inglés se me hace difícil. Yo olvido. I- I’m” He laughs at himself. “You get my head all mixed up, cariño.” 

(“Thank you love. That- that felt so good, you felt so good. I love you.”)

(“English is difficult for me. I forget”)

He presses a kiss to your forehead. “Oh really?” You say in a playful tone as he chuckles at you. You turn and pull him in, his lips just inches from yours. “Me encanta eso.” You had to pull all your Spanish I classes together to figure that sentence out but the reward is worth it. Miguel’s eyes widen and he gasps before smashing his face into yours, you can feel his wide smile against your lips as he kisses you and you’ve never felt happier. 

(‘I love that.”)

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!

[em-ontv]

Back into the life.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!hunter!reader

Summary: Escaping the hunter life and going to Stanford seemed pretty good until you showed back up into his life again, reeling him back in.

Content: mentions of y/n, Sam’s in Stanford, he used to have a crush on reader, reader is friends with the Winchesters, reader is kind of cocky, mentions of Jess, English is not my first language, pretty fast-paced, not proofread

A/N: few disclaimers here, I haven’t watched supernatural (yet) so Sam may be a bit ooc, I tried my best. There's no specific indication that Sam and the reader have any romantic relationships, you can interpret it however you want, but I definitely did not write this in means of breaking Sam up with Jess. Enjoy :)

Word count: 930

You were in some dive bar, waiting for your next hunt, when your phone buzzed. Dean's name flashed on the screen, and the second you answered, his voice came through, not even a "hello" first before he got straight to the point.

"I need your help."

Typical.

"Hello to you too, sunshine," you responded, leaning back in your chair, feet kicked up onto the table. "It's been—what? Three years? And this is the first thing I hear from you?"

"Cut the crap, y/n. It's Sam, I need him back." Dean said.

Your eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?"

"I did. Kid's stubborn. Won't leave that Stanford life of his, but I need him." his exhale came through the phone like he was one breath away from losing it.

There was a pause on your end. Because the thing is, you understood. You did. There was a time where you wanted to leave too—and have something different, a normal life. But hunting? The supernatural world? It never lets you go.

"You're the only one who can get him to listen." Dean's voice snapped you out of the thought.

"Uh-huh, and what makes you think that?" you let out a sound that was close to a scoff and a chuckle.

A beat of silence, and you could nearly hear the smirk on Dean's face through the phone. "Because, sweetheart, Sam's got it bad for you. Always did."

Oh, you knew alright. Sam had always been obvious. Big, doe-eyed stares when all of you were younger, awkward stammering when you caught him looking, and that whole puppy-dog vibe he never could shake. You’d flirt with him just to see him turn red. It was too easy. The boy had it bad, but then he went and ran off to college, leaving everything else behind.

"Please, that was kid's stuff. He's over it." you shrugged it off.

"He's not over it," Dean fired back. "Never was. So, I need you to... you know, use that to get him back."

You almost laughed out loud. "You want me to seduce Sam back into hunting? Seriously?"

"For crying out loud, y/n. And it's not seducing, it's gentle coaxing." Dean rolled his eyes, his tone sarcastic. "But whatever works, I guess."

Well, whatever works. You'd find out soon enough.

—————

The second you parked your car and stepped onto the campus, you could feel yourself being out of place. Students were laughing, lounging under trees, talking about midterms and parties.

Stanford was nice. Too nice.

You waited for the six-foot-four tree of a man that used to trip over his own feet whenever you smiled at him. And soon enough, Sam emerged from the lecture hall, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair a little longer, looking every bit the normal, happy college student. He hadn’t seen you yet. Oh, this was gonna be fun.

Before you could even call his name, Sam looked up. His entire body froze mid-step. The look on his face was priceless—equal parts shock and panic, with just a dash of "oh no, she’s here." He blinked, then blinked again, clearly trying to process that you, of all people, were standing in front of him.

"y/n? What—what are you doing here?" He stammered, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

You crossed your arms, that familiar cocky smile playing on your lips. “Oh, you know. Came to say hi, check in on you."

He fumbled with his backpack strap, eyes darting around like he was hoping this was some weird dream and he’d wake up soon. “Well, I've been doing well. Studying law."

"Law, huh?" your eyes glanced over to the backpack he was holding. "Sounds pretty boring for a guy who used to get his hands dirty killing vamps."

Sam's face fell, and you almost felt bad. Almost.

"Look," you said, getting to the point. "Dean needs you back."

His jaw clenched. "I told him no."

"Well, I'm telling you yes."

There was a pause as Sam looked at you, like he was trying to figure out if you were serious. "You're just like Dean, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

You just smiled and shrugged, unfazed.

Sam sighed heavily. “y/n, I’ve got a life here. I’ve got—”

“A girlfriend, I know,” you cut in. “Dean mentioned her. Jessica, right?”

His eyes flickered.

“And she’s nice, I’m sure. Sweet. Normal. Everything you want.” you exhaled softly. “But let’s be real, Sam. You can’t outrun this life. It’s in your blood. You’re a hunter, always will be.”

Sam swallowed hard. He stared at you like he was still trying to wrap his head around why you'd come all this way to pull him back into a world he thought he left behind.

“I left for a reason,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.

"And I'm sure it's a good reason, Sam." your eyes softened at his words. "But sometimes, life drags you back."

"Dean needs you," you started.

"And I need you too."

Oh. That card.

Sam’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he looked like a nervous teenager again, the way he always used to when you were around him.

Finally, he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine. I’ll come. But I’m doing it for Dean.”

“Uh-huh,” you raised your eyebrows, already spinning around to head to your car. “I know.”

As you walked away, Sam trailing behind you, you couldn’t help but grin. Dean had been right. And Sam?

Well… Sam never stood a chance against you.

[glader13]

Chasing Memories of You (pt. 4)

Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Chasing Memories of You

Chasing Memories of You (pt.2)

Chasing Memories of You (pt.3)

Miguel had a new pep in his step as if a fresh wind had blown over him, and perhaps one did, but no one knew what it was. It unsettled the other Spiders who were used to Miguel’s stoic nature, how willing he was to pop a smile. His change of attitude warmed Jess’ and Peter B’s hearts to see their friend finally moving on, but what caused his change of heart, they did not know. Miguel could feel it, he could sense that they were itching to know, always asking the question “How are you doing” in the hopes that he would spill. But, he doesn’t, not wanting to sound crazy in front of the few people that he trusts. Each night that he settles in his living room or his area at HQ, watching you live your life blissfully, but achingly to him, unaware of his eyes on you. He thinks about telling your parents that he found you, but the same fear holds him back, that he would seem crazy, detrimentally desperate. They wouldn’t understand, no one would. If he was going mad, well he can thank it, appreciate it. In his madness, he found the perfect version of you.

He still couldn’t believe that he found it, the place where you are alive and healthy. The earth where you have a normal life, not burdened by your powers. Through the screens, Miguel saw how happy you were, and how at peace you were. It made his pain all the greater, so unbearable that he would have to tear himself away from the screens to catch his breath. But, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t stay away for long, because he was missing precious moments of you. It started innocently, watching the live feed of you would only be in his spare time that slowly slipped into a pastime. A distraction would be an understatement, his mind was consumed by you, and all he could think of was how you were alive, breathing. He didn’t have to imagine you, what you would be doing when he could just view you.

The anticipation of doing that left his mind scattered, especially during missions. He’s slower, not picking up on things that he usually would. But the wounds from his absentmindedness sting less when he cleans them as a feed of you is playing in the background, filling the void that you created. He could care less, about everything, every word sounds like chalk grating against a board, as he is briefed about different realities, but it’s all the same. If it’s not Green Goblin, then it’s Venom, and if it’s not them, or whatever, then it’s some villain of the week. It’s all the same, it’s mundane. His mind brimming with a mixture of numbness, and past moments of when you would sit across from him, encouraging him with smiles. Then, he couldn’t wait for the meeting to be over, to debrief after the debrief, the casual conversation turning into something intimate as he pulled you into him. Now, it’s much the same thing, he waiting for the meeting to end, but instead of holding you, he’s watching you. Watching you live the life that he has wanted, that he has wanted for you. Something simple, something safe.

Miguel watches the footage of you and Gabi, he nearly wept when he saw his daughter for the first time, religiously, mentally placing himself in your space. He would replay your conversations, and then talk back in the quietness of his room. Always talking at you, but it makes him feel whole. It only took him three days worth of watching you to know where you lived, to know your weekly routine. You get up at 7, waking up Gabi to get her ready for school. As you do that, you’re also simultaneously getting ready for work. The whole process takes you around half an hour, you then drop her off and you work in your office, but sometimes at home, as a journalist. Around 12, you go to the same cafe and have lunch, often working on your article, or editing other people’s work. You pick up Gabi at three and five, drop her off at soccer practice, and pick her up at seven.

Your routine is so easy, that Miguel drops by in your universe. He sometimes sits in the same cafe as you, as you eat blissfully unaware of him. It takes everything in him to not run over and hold, or kiss you. His enhanced hearing allows him to enjoy your voice, it sounds so sweet, so addicting. He sends you flowers, signed with his name, seeing that there is no harm from it, after all, it is him. Sometimes he watches Gabi practice, either from afar or “close”. Close as in he “exercises” around the track as Gabi’s team uses the field. His heart swells with an old pride seeing her out-compete her teammates, she is his soccer star. This relationship sustains him, despite being para-social.

Obsession is what comes to mind, when he has his out-of-body moment, when reality hits cold and hard as he hides his face in his hands. Would you want this for him, for him to be this pitiful? So lost in his grief that he has resulted in stalking. He would’ve laughed, never allowing himself to stoop this low, but he feels you in his mind, where he runs away with you. You’re his collar, taking away the air that he knows he needs. He can never sleep with another, given his love to another. He would die a thousand times just to see you smile. He swore that he wouldn’t peak into your personal life, that he would turn off the feed when you would enter your home, locking him out once again. He couldn’t let you go, you sustain him. After all, you’re his destiny.

Your routine is perfect for him to slip into, he can easily have the two of you back. He can have his life back. Waking up to you every morning, giving Gabi a good morning kiss, he would be complete again. Perhaps then, the man he was before he lost the two of you would come back, stronger than ever. It would have been perfect, but you weren’t alone in this world. You had him. You had your Miguel, and he does nothing but love you. And it pisses Miguel off, if the situation wasn’t so dire, he would laugh. To be jealous of yourself. Miguel has to retract his claws each time he sees you being touched by Miguel, how his lips personally know your body. Miguel gets up an hour before you, starting each morning with a kiss, he then gets some breakfast ready for you and Gabi. He’s a scientist, and he tries his best to match his work schedule with yours, which complicates Miguel’s plans.

There are days when Miguel visits, watching you eat lunch as he builds the courage to go talk to you, shamelessly impersonating your Miguel. He imagined, no, planned, how it would be. He would bring you flowers, sneaking up from behind you. You would laugh, pulling him into a kiss that would surely melt him, causing him to fall to his knees. He wouldn’t even speak, he would just listen to you talk, recording the whole date so it could be later saved as a file. If your schedule allows it, you would walk downtown together, hand in hand. He just wants to be loved again, but Miguel keeps that from happening. He’s the one that gets you to switch your lunch schedule, often taking you to random places. It makes him sick, seeing you lean all over Miguel, watch him playfully feed you. And when he can’t meet you, you would meet him. You would bring him lunch to his office and would greet him with a kiss. He would show you around his lab, describing his latest experiment on DNA splicing. But despite his love, he always falls short.

“Another late night,” Miguel watched you sigh as you sat at the kitchen table with Gabi was consumed by her game. Miguel’s plate sat untouched across from you.

“I’m sorry querido, but they’re up my ass about this genetic code,” Miguel says, taking off his glasses to rub his eyes, “Hopefully we find what we’re looking for.”

“But baby, you come home late, you don’t even eat,” you say, “And you’re starting to miss Gabi’s weekday games.”

“It’s fine,” Gabi chimed in, causing both Miguels to smile sadly, “The important ones are on the weekends.”

“All games are important,” Miguel gently told her, “But I’ll try to be home at a reasonable time-“

You slightly scoffed, and Miguel looked away, his mouth slightly open before closing again. Miguel watched it all, the sadness creeping on the edges of your beautiful face. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, erased by another easy smile. He just knew that if he was there, a frown would never grace your face.

“Just remember what we’re trying to do,” you smiled, “Love you, okay.”

“Love you too,” he smiled, “I’ll make it up to you.”

He was a stain in Miguel’s plans, like blood upon the snow. He had to move carefully, his visits to see you were infrequent, and the courage to talk to you would dissipate when Miguel would hurriedly rush in to your table. Moving cautiously didn’t mean that he had to stop seeing you smile, it was a drug, and he was addicted to being the cause of it. He would linger longer after paying for your meals, watching your eyes squint in confusion and slow recognition. The flowers signed with his name, along with paying for your meals were a point of tension, with your Miguel denying all of those things as you would try to convince him that he did those things. It made Miguel smile, gaining a secret victory that proved he was the better lover.

You have a stalker, that’s what Miguel told you, as he watched through the screens, seeing you frown, draining the color from your face as your hand instinctively went to your stomach. He became your protector of sorts, altering his schedule to completely match yours, and when you’re off before him, he’ll take a break just to make sure you and Gabi are home safe. He even created a pepper spray of sorts that wouldn’t cause you to have any problems when it was sprayed.

Miguel has thought of it, getting rid of your Miguel, after all, he has the capabilities. He has played with the idea in his head, of how to kill that Miguel without raising an alarm. He would spend hours analyzing himself and an image of your Miguel, trying to find any slight difference in appearance. He studied him, his movements, and how he interacts with you and Gabi in case he decides to go through with his plan. The idea unsettled him, but means would justify the end because it’s you.

“Miguel,” you whisper, moving your head from his shoulder. He didn’t move, and you shook him again, causing him to stir. He looked at you, his words slightly slurring together as he asked you if everything was okay. You nodded moving stray hair from his face, an action that caused another painful and yearning sensation in Miguel as he watched the feed from his home.

Miguel took your hand, kissing it as he asked what was going on in your pretty mind. You turn down your living room TV, changing your position on the couch, “What if something happens,” you say, “What if the pepper spray and you being here isn’t … enough? We’re just now starting a family, and I just want everything to be okay.”

“It will be,” he kissed you, “I promise you. As long as I’m alive, no harm will come near you, mi vida.”

Unknowing to Miguel he cursed himself with those words.

~

It was raining when Miguel tuned in on himself racing home. Miguel’s eyes kept flashing to the time as he hurriedly told Lyla to place an order for flowers. Why was he in a rush, Miguel didn’t know, but he found it amusing. Miguel cursed the weather quietly as he complained about the lack of visibility, wherever he was going he was running late. Even his hover vehicle seemed to be against him as it began to sputter, a steady beeping coming from inside the vehicle, causing the vehicle to slowly begin to descend. Miguel played with buttons in his vehicle, trying to see if he could at least make it back to his home, but everything refused to work.

“Shock me,” he grumbled, looking into the rain. He squinted into the grainy darkness, trying to figure out if the bar was open, failing to notice the shifting shadows hiding along its wall. Miguel, from his room, noticed it. Zooming in on the feed to see them lurking, watching him as if he were their next victim. Miguel could’ve stopped them, could’ve warned himself, but he watched, hoping for something that he could never stomach to do.

Miguel never made it to the bar, he didn’t even have a chance.

Miguel could have stopped them, he could have saved himself. Instead, he watched himself get pummeled, ignoring the pitiful cries for help, the pleas to stop the beating. Miguel felt something in him break, or possibly resolve, when he heard himself trying to reason with the thugs, telling them that he has a family. They didn’t stop beating him and he … he felt satisfaction. He turned off the footage seeing one pull out a gun. He gleefully pulled out the matching outfit that he was wearing, feeling as if Christmas arrived early. He turned on the screen seeing himself surrounded by a pool of blood, the rain slowly making it disappear. Once again, Miguel could have stepped in, and given him the medical help, but he stood by and watched almost sadistically. He couldn’t help that his lips quirked into the smallest of smiles as he felt the ghost of your lips.

Miguel was greeted by the rain, and then his dying body. He heard himself struggle to breathe, as he tried to make his way back to the front of the bar. Miguel followed him nonchalantly, thinking of his first moments with you and Gabi. Yes, he could have saved himself, but the urge to be loved was much stronger, it suffocated him. Infiltrating his mind, your love made him its slave. He heard him weakly call for help, and Miguel had to tell himself to be patient. He lost his strength before he made it out of the alley, falling onto his back with a soft plopping. Miguel walked up to him, taking pleasure again in seeing the scared look on his face. Miguel kept him down with his foot, silencing him.

“They’ll be safe with me,” Miguel smiles, “After all, they belong with me. They’re my family, my destiny.”

“Stay away from them,” he coughed up blood, “Lyla-“

“No need to call her, I disabled her,” Miguel said in a bored voice, “You can rest now.”

“Who … who are you?”

“You,” was the last thing that your Miguel had heard.

Miguel quickly disposed of himself by throwing him into a river. He watched himself sink, letting nature have its way. He watched himself sink to a place that only he and the waters that buried him would know. He quickly looked around making sure that no one was watching before he quickly left the scene. In his haste, he didn’t notice how the water quickly flashed neon colors of green, and pink, like a glitched screen on a broken television.

Tags:

@cecilliaz272

@honey-bee2002

@montyrokz

@vampiredp94

@mmhcs

[m00nv4ll3y]

My take on Billy Lenz [Black Christmas 1974]

[yapping beyond the read more because its going to be A LOT and I know it..also I want to clarify THAT THIS IS MY TAKE! YES IM LOOKING DEEP INTO THE CHARACTER SHUT UP, THIS IS MY BLOG AND I CAN YAP! Thank you, Hope you enjoy!^^] TW- mentions of; FICTIONAL childhood trauma and abuse

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ One thing I see a lot, not just on Tumblr, but on most platforms i'm on- is that people think Billy Lenz is this big creepy horndog that just always jacking off. Personally I think people are just looking at it from the sorority girls POV and now actually listening to ANYTHING he says or looking at his behaviors. Yes, he does call them and pig squeal and taunt them with his dirty words, but I don't think that is out of just being horny, I think it is a trauma response. When Jess picks up the phone on multiple occasions, Billy is screaming in what could be said in his mothers voice, fathers, and baby Agnes. He is replaying every major trauma that happened in his childhood; "WHERES THE BABY?! WHERES AGNES?!" etc. As seen when he is freaking out in the attic, he is kicking and hitting things; he is mentally unstable and especially after killing the girl(s), it only gets worse. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ [TW- slight mention of an actual crime case I remember hearing/reading about-] Does anyone know the case where the owner of a parrot was murdered and the parrot or whatever bird it was, repeated what happened word for word, sound for sound? It did that and helped the cops solve the case- but besides that, the reason why the bird did that was because it was a huge, traumatic event that happened near and in front of the pet. Now, knowing that trauma can affect humans and pets, remember the last paragraph? Billy repeats the trauma that happened to him because of how badly it affected him and how it messed with his mind as a child. Being the researcher as I am- I know that as a child, their brains are like sponges, as kids we soak up everything around us because that's how we learn and fully process that "Hey! I live in this world! I'm a person in this community of people!" and that is usually how it goes. However, if the childs home life is abusive- psychically and mentally- the child wont look at the world with a good view anymore because they have had the worst of it. Kids are supposed to learn about the world by their loving parents teaching them how they should and shouldn't behave, how they should react etc. But when the parents lack the common knowledge that hurting your child isn't okay, that kid will grow up and be mentally destroyed. This doesn't mean they wont get better, but it does mean they will have more challenges. The abuse and torment that Billy got as a young boy, mainly from his mother [as we sort of get that he was raped and abused by her, not saying his father is clean btw], changed how he saw things and his mindset as an adult. I don't think Billy is some horny, gross, creep and I will die on that hill. He just needed love and support but nobody ever gave him that so he never fully grasped how life should be because horrid and filthy things were all he knew growing up. I am up and dying on this hill and I know I am- but anyways, Billy is just really traumatized from his past and I think most people took his trauma or how he taunted the girls as being horny and sick when that's really not how I think he is. He is just mentally unstable.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

ALRIGHT! Thanks for reading my TED talk, hope you liked it lol- ESPECIALLY YOU @veroxityyy !!!!! Just remember that this is MY take and yeah, I did go a little over, but idc- shut up please, thank you. Yes, I know this is just a fictional character and I didn't reaaallllyyy need to do ALL THAT but again. SHUT UP<3 This is just the way I saw things, from watching it and having an actual brain that isn't just mush, thank you✨ hope you actually enjoyed reading this yap though!! -MoonValley

[invisiblerambler]

Carmy doesn't deserve to be left and Sydney doesn't deserve to leave

None of the relationship between the two of them is about what one or the other deserves.

Fundamentally they have never interacted in a way that could be that transactional.

Thinking about this in terms of what Carmy or Syd deserves is such a flattening of both of their characters.

No one (mostly) deserves to have bad things happen to them, and despite all his many many bad coping mechanisms and lash-outs Carmy doesn't deserve to be abandoned again.

He will not recover if Syd leaves him. Do you think he's going to treat anyone better by her deepening his most fundamental trauma wound?

There is whether he realizes it or not a part of Carmy that thinks Syd was sent by Michael to carry out what he could not.

In a more immediate sense he believes this about Claire. I know her character is forced and awkward, but there is an element of realism to the way that Carmy had to regress back into past versions of himself in that environment.

Carm tells Sydney his sister doesn't think he's a genius, but more than that none of his family see him for who he was in New York or Napa or Cophenhagen. They understand he is extremely talented but that doesn't cancel out the fact that they also knew him as a snot-nosed kid.

Carmy feels like he has to complete something by dating Claire. Mikey forced him to come back to Chicago be a part of the restaurant he never wanted Carm to be a part of, but if he has to be here he might as well be with the girl Michael wanted him to be with. Fundamentally Mikey just wanted Carm to be happy fulfilled and safe but Carm doesn't understand Claire was just the stand in for that.

ANYWAYS back to Sydney, Sydney represents the evolved version of that idea. It has always felt like this subtext that Carmy wishes she could have met Mikey and some part of him feels incomplete because of that, but I think he also wants to believe Mikey sent Sydney, not to save him because she is not his babysitter, but like I said to carry out what Mikey couldn't. A true partner in all senses of the word, and I think Richie eventually warming up to Syd is in a way Mikey approving of her by proxy.

Back to the point I was making 5 paragraphs ago, Carmy will not get better or be encouraged to get better if one of the people he is the most emotionally intimate with in his whole life leaves him.

Yes, Syd is fair to demand more out of Carmy and to require better treatment and boundaries and all of the things that would make it a healthy partnership. But that doesn't mean Carm deserves to be dealt a mortal emotional wound in the process. Yes this is a TV show and these people aren't real, but if we start treating life like a chess game like this...

Sydney does not actually need to leave in order for Carm to realize what he needs to realize. He already learned that lesson with Mikey, and by showing that Carm can learn that lesson before the relationship is fully beyond the point of repair (obviously because of death in Mikey's case) is the most profound growth the show could give him.

No he will not be all the way there, he has a lot of work he needs to do, but one of his biggest problems is the way he refuses to let anyone be excellent alongside him. The ultimate growth for him is realizing that greatness doesn't mean anything when you're alone. Jess echoes this when she says she's around great people when she's not at work.

So much of this show is about the way that ambitious and creative people fundamentally cannot survive when they are cut off from everyone else. Carmy is the antithesis of the tortured creative genius because at every point where he cuts everyone else off he fails. That's why I don't think the review can be a pan, because even with him cutting off Syd at every turn she is still the bones of that restaurant.

So Carm does not deserve to be dealt more emotional trauma. Syd deserves to be happy in whatever way that looks like.

[boom-butterflyeffect]

Requesting because I need me some more UD guys x male reader stuff so headcanons for the UD guys in their first relationship with a male partner

RAHHHHHHH

UD GUYS X MALE READER HCS

MIKE

- So when it comes to both men and women, Mike's kinda process is the same. I've mentioned this before, that I think his relationships start off from just physical attraction, and he may or may not develop an emotional bond with them eventually, e.g. he did with Jess, did not with Em

- His first relationship with a guy is no different, at first, you're hot, you're single, he's single, let's do it. In his eyes, you are a prize to be won by making the right moves and putting on all his Michael Munroe charm.

- It's kinda new territory for him, since he's used to charming the ladies, but he tries to not let it show that he's a little inexperienced and unsure. Always acting as smooth as ever.

- Loves any excuse to punch a homophobe. Makes a point of putting his arm around your shoulder or your waist and raising a brow at anyone who gives you two weird looks, as if daring them to say something.

- As time goes on, you can see beneath the mask of charm and overconfidence and see a much more sincere, caring side of him. He may not be great at sharing his feelings, but he really does care about you, and you very quickly become so dear to him.

JOSH

- Josh I feel like would be less bothered about labels or whatever, he's just dating a person he likes, who gives a shit about the small details?

- Very grabby and touchy, lots of PDA and would love to have his arm around your waist when he introduces you to his friends. I don't think they'd be shocked.

- There may be a few small differences in behaviour since he generally seems to treat guys different from girls, so there is the occasional moment where he calls you bro and dude and other casual things, but it's silly and still kinda endearing, like- he'll call you dude and then kiss you on the face.

CHRIS

- I feel like Chris would be kinda anxious when it comes to his first relationship with a boy, but then again I think he'd be anxious about his first relationship with anyone.

- Always stuttering and fumbling over his words whenever he's talking to you, because you're very handsome. Like, Chris does occasionally look at how handsome the other guys in the group are, but in like a!!! like!! like a straight guy dudebro admiration way, y'know!!!

- Would maybe not realise you're even flirting with him at first and then would get so bashful and flustered when he realises. He doesn't really realise what a catch he is.

- This is kinda a hard one tbh.

Matt

- Okay I'm gonna struggle w this one

- I think Matt leans more towards fem people, so would like guys who are more on the pretty side. Probably wouldn't admit it at first, but has definitely checked out a guy with pretty eyes and a soft, delicate face.

- Again, new territory for him, so he may seem a bit unsure of himself at first, but eventually he'd relax. Similarly to Josh, he'd probably also just occasionally be really casual and relaxed with you, like you can both chill out and watch movies or play video games together or whatever, but then you can also kiss afterwards!

[ghoulishfrk]

PAIRING — WARNINGS — WORD COUNT!

〘 Romantic Hobie x Miles Older Sister , Platonic Spiderverse cast x Miles Older Sister | Slight spoilers | ~ .7K words 〙

MASTERLIST !! PINNED POST 🎧💿

ੈ ✮ ˳ Lulus Notes :: Repost, set after ASTV

✩°｡ Tagging :: @punkologist , @neptunes1nterweb , @honeybleed

Miles older sister who takes care of him. She’s the one who knows when something is up and is the one always giving advice.

Miles older sister who had a hunch something was up with her lil brother but wasn’t sure what exactly until she caught him red handed. Him still on his suit in his room.

Miles older sister who had to take a minute to process that her little brother was fucking Spider-Man and understood why he didn’t tell her or their parents.

Miles older sister who becomes his girl behind the screen. She tells him whenever a villain is causing chaos and calls the cops to get the villain he apprehended.

Miles older sister who gets her brother out of suspicion and trouble with their parents, always having a convincing excuse.

“Mija, have you seen miles?”

“Oh, he went to the store to buy more ice cream cones since he ate mine.”

Miles older sister who never leaves her brother suffer by himself. Always hearing out whatever is bothering her brother and giving advice only an older sister could.

Miles older sister who gets caught up on the whole multiverse stuff by her little brother and learns of all the other spidermen her brother considers his friends.

Miles older sister who meets Peter B. Parker and Mayday and is immediately in love with her. She always counts on him to take care of Miles and is ok with babysitting Mayday.

Miles Older Sister who, when she meets Miguel, is not the friendliest. She’s not over how he treated her little brother and doesn’t hide it. She later on goes easier on him since she sees how he’s genuinely sorry and embarrassed by how he reacted.

Miles older sister who is a bit doubtful of Jess. She didn’t think someone who was a mother would’ve acted like she did towards a kid. She learns to trust her later on.

Miles older sister who meets the other spider kids closer to Miles age and immediately approves of them. She’s even willing to make sure they don’t get in trouble with their families.

Miles older sister who becomes an older sister to Pavitr, Gwen, and Peni. She listens to them and gives them advice like she does with Miles. She’d go insane if anything or anyone hurt her kids.

Miles older sister who meets Gwen and immediately likes her. She gives her advice on wooing her brother and getting the approval of their parents.

“Miles loves drawing so you can never go wrong with giving him stuff like drawing books and markers. Oh, and you should call our parents by our last name. Mom hates when kids call her Rio.”

“Wait, seriously? Why didn’t Miles tell me?”

“Cuz he was probably too whipped to tell you lmao”

Miles older sister who, when she meets Hobie, clicks with him in a different way than when she meet the others.

Miles older sister who gets flirted by Hobie and responds with flirting back, only to get caught by Miles and seeing his hilarious reaction.

“Seriously? My sister?!”

“Aye, calm down Peter Pan.”

“C’mon man! Why it gotta be my sister?”

“Miles relájate nene.”

“What do you mean relax?! If i hadn’t come in you probably would’ve been eating each others faces!”

“PFFT-“

Miles older sister who sneaks in Hobie through her window, having to shush him so her parents don’t hear them and have her father storming in.

Miles older sister who gets caught by Rio one day, with her and Hobie having been sitting on her bed talking about random things.

Miles older sister who has to introduce Hobie to her parents. Rio and Jeff are apprehensive at first, Hobies punk appearance not being what they expected for their daughters boyfriend.

Miles older sister who’s glad Hobie gets along with her mom and tries to be civil with her father and tries not to get into politics or fights with them.

“So, Hobie, what do you do for a living?”

“Kick fascists ass and play in my band.”

Just Miles having a nice and caring older sister <3

© all rights are reserved to @gyal-bunny. Do not steal, modify, copy, and/or repost my works anywhere.

[sacredwrath]

P11. Remembering

PTSD, past torture described, fear of SA discussed, future violence and murder

Jesse stares listlessly out the window. They seem to do a lot of that now. Their knees are tucked up to their chest and they pull a knitted blanket through their fingers. They touch each stitch, carefully repeating the motion over and over again.

“Hey” Logan says softly, not wanting to startle them.

“Hey” they murmur without looking at him.

His heart breaks seeing them like this. He sways slightly in the doorway, unsure if he should approach them. He came to them out of instinct. Before, when something was troubling him, he would go to them, lay his head in their lap and they would stroke his hair and tell him everything would be alright. They would've spoken softly about his options and helped him sort through the overwhelming mess in his head. But not this time. Not with this mess.

He wishes somehow he could return that kindness. That he knew what to say to make everything they went through better or just lighten the burden somehow. He's never had their way with words, could never see past his emotions to help another person process. He feels so useless standing there watching them.

Of course, he's tried to get them to talk about it. But every time they refuse, he's secretly, wretchedly relieved. It hurts too much. Even the tidbits he's managed to get haunt him, filling his guts with anger so intense he thinks it might kill him. And with that man in the basement…

He can't control himself like they can. He's afraid of himself, of what he might do if they tell him, but even more, he can't stand to watch them trying to shoulder it alone.

“Can I sit with you?” He asks, forcing himself into the room

They nod, and he joins them on the sofa.

He watches their fingers travel across the blanket. Right hand fingertips touch, pull, left hand fingertips touch, release, in a steady rhythm.

“Jesse you know you can talk to me, right? If you want to, obviously.” The words are awkward, and he bites his tongue in shame

They nod and he joins them on the sofa.

He watches their fingers travel across the blanket. Right hand fingertips touch, pull, left hand fingertips touch, release, in a steady rhythm.

“Jesse you know you can talk to me, right? If you want to, obviously.” The words are awkward, and he bites his tongue in shame

They blink once and he tries not to run

“I know. It's just…” They trail off “Hard to talk about, ya know? And… talking won't fix it, so what's the point?”

“It doesn't need to fix it.” He hesitates, thinking through why it's been so helpful for him to talk through his problems with them so many times. “It's just that sometimes, sharing the burden can make it feel lighter?” it sounds stupid. He can't believe he just compared their literal torture to his stupid petty dramas he's always shared with them. He turns away, scratching his head viciously. He's no good at this

But they turn slightly towards him. “Do you really want to know?” No, he doesn't

“i- I don't want you to share it for me. If you don't want to talk about it I trust you, but I just…” his feelings don't seems to make sense in words “I just- it helps me, like before when you would listen to me talk about things. It um made it feel lighter, easier to carry.” The words spill out, too fast. “And this, this is heavier than anything i've had to carry and I just don't want you to feel like you have to bear it alone.”

They look over at him, staring deep into his eyes for a long moment before giving the tiniest nod “ok” they whisper. “I'll try.”

Triumph! Terror. He braces himself for their words 

There's a long silence while they collect themself, and then hesitantly, 

“what do you want to know?” 

Nothing. “Nothing in particular, just whatever you're thinking about and want to share?”

They nod, take a deep breath and begin immediately.

“Right before I was rescued… he- I… I don't know what happened. I just- … well I mean he whipped me right?” They glance up, gauging his reaction. He fights hard to keep a blank face. “That's the big X on my back and I was…” they glance up again. “so scared…”

Their lips tremble and he reaches out to take their hand. “I- there aren't words for the pain, that kind of pain. I…” they trail off again getting that blank look in their eyes.

“Jes?”

“Hm? Oh right” They shake their head to clear it.

“I don't remember all of it. Some of it's so vivid I can't think about it, the rest is just… fuzzy. But I just- there was this moment, after he whipped me. I was bleeding and I don't know what he was doing? Trying to cool me down or something? He had ice on my back and I-” They stop, shaking their head in confusion or disgust he can't tell. “I-” they stop again. “I don't know if I can say it.” They look at him teary eyes meeting his own. He tries to blank his face again, but he wants to cry too.

“It's ok Jes”

“I hugged him…” the revulsion in their voice is almost a physical force. He sucks in a sharp breath before he can stop it. “I just wanted-” they rush on, as if trying to explain it. “I don't know, I needed comfort? Or something. I didn't realize what I was doing. He was so close, holding me still, and I just-” they shake their head. “I don't know what happened…”

“What did he do?” Logan asks, keeping his voice even. Despite the roaring in his head. He pictures them alone, so alone they'd feel the need to- stop

“He freaked. Stormed out. Nothing happened, but I thought- I was scared-... I mean it's not like he couldn't have before. I just…” their words don't make sense to him

“What do you mean Jes, I'm sorry I don't understand.”

“I thought being that close to him, holding him like that, might make him… want… things he hadn't tried before… I found a knife. I was going to attack him if he… tried anything, but- but” they start to cry. “I wasn't strong enough.”

“Wait! He assaulted you?” Logan forgets all about keeping his tone level, suddenly there's a pounding in his head and red in his vision and it takes every ounce of willpower he has to keep from storming down the stairs to kill that man. Instead he forces himself to remain still

“No! Well, not like that. But he was angry. I don't think I'd seen him truly angry till that point. He was always kinda… jokey? Didn't seem like he took it seriously. But then-” another silence as Logan tries to calm down “I thought he was gonna kill me. I mean I always thought he was gonna kill me, but that time… he lost it.” they shudder, their whole body starting to tremble at the memory

Logan looks away, unable to see them like this. He breathes deeply, trying to stay in control. He’s going to kill him. He shouldn't have asked about this

The tears in their eyes finally spill over.

“He just kept going… I couldn't remember the details before, but now I can't stop remembering. I can't really say that moment was worse than everything else. In someways it was scarier when he broke my leg, but… but Logan,” their tear filled eyes meet his. “That broke me.” they curl in on themself, starting to cry in earnest. “I just couldn't hold on anymore and- and” they sob “and I-” they can't get the words out through their tears

“Can I put my arm around you?” he tries. There's nothing he can say. No words on earth could make this ok, no matter how skilled the speaker. His heart is breaking. He just needs to hold them close, selfishly as much for them he needs to know they're here, they're safe. Needs to remember that monster doesn't have them anymore.

They nod, but still flinch at his touch. They burrow into him, crying against his shoulder. He holds them as tight as he dares as they break down completely, sobbing into his chest. He realizes his arms are shaking too.

“I-” another sob cuts them off. “I wanted him to kill me. And Logan-”

He feels strangely far away. His arms too big, too clumsy to hold them like this. He doesn't know how to comfort them, he needs to kill Morgan.

“Logan… I mean it. I broke. I think I told him- I gave him the address-” they cry harder “they could be here any day. I'm not sure why they haven't come yet. It would've been better if he'd killed me. I wouldn't have been able to betray you. Betray you all.”

“No Jesse. No.” he holds them closer, unable to find any other word. “No, no, no, no” It's not right to keep this from them. They have a right to know their torturer is in the same house as them, but he can't tell them he's already come. Not before he ruins him. Breaks him into thousands of wretched sniveling pieces that no human or God or force in creation could even hope to put back together.

He tries again.

“Jesse you're safe now. He can't get you here. Not with all of us. We'll protect you.”

“You cant!” They almost scream “You don't know him! I don't want anyone to die for me!”

“I'll kill him first! Jesse please believe me. I swear to you, swear on my life, on my soul, on everything there is and was and will be, he won't ever touch you again. I'll rip off his fingers, break every bone in his body if he even tries.”

They tense and he berates himself, too violent, too close to home. He remembers their bent and twisted fingers. Their broken bones

“I don't want that.” of course they don't

“I'm sorry.” he tries to sound calm despite the tempest in his mind

“I would sooner go back myself than let him hurt any of you the way he did me. I won't let anyone die for me.”

“No Jesse. That won't happen. I swear it.” Logan holds them, rocking gently back and forth, stroking their hair.

After a long while he's calmed enough to remember a song his mother used to sing when he was young and too sick to get out of bed. He doesn't remember the words, but hums the melody into their hair.

Hours later, he detangles himself from their sleeping form and makes his way down to the basement.

Prev | masterpost | next

Tag list: @whumpacabra @turn-the-tables-on-them @kiichu @whatwhump @jay--o @starsick1979

[samthecookielord]

(Intro) - (Previous) - (Next)

Jesse: "Radar...?"

Radar doesn’t have any words.

He stands up, getting out of Jesse’s grasp. He’s tense, and he’s staring forward, still trying to process what just happened. It seems like he’s holding his breath for an uncomfortable amount of time. He runs off in the middle of the night.

He doesn’t look back.

? Radar will never forget that.

(art by @owo-whats-bliss ! There is also art by me under the cut, and the next poll)

Radar doesn’t tell their friends about what happened that night, and even if Jesse wanted to, they wouldn’t be able to be coherent about it. Their friends don’t see Radar during the day much, and Jesse always changes the topic when prompted, waving it off with some excuse or another. They eventually inform their friends of their new abilities, as it’s now impossible to hide. Their eyes have begun to glow just as Romeo’s did. All of Beacontown eventually realize this too. 

Radar does try to be normal about dying traumatically! He even tries to hang out with Jesse and pretend everything is fine! It’s… very awkward though. After some time, the two avoid each other for their own comfort.

Jesse: You don't- you don't have t- Radar: No it's fine! I'm plenty brave Radar: I mean- not that there's any need to be brave, what is there to be afraid of? Radar: Just you and me hanging out Radar: Being… friends Jesse: ... Jesse: I don't feel like this is the right call

Jesse does their best to learn and utilize these powers safely, but without any kind of guide, and without Radar - the best person to create such a thing - it’s extremely difficult. They inadvertently cause a noteworthy amount of damage, potentially including just moving a house thousands of blocks away and prompting the owners to go on a search for it. Their friends also catch them spawning a bunch of pigs in an attempt to bring Reuben back. It doesn’t work.

Just imagine like a long montage of mishaps okay. Like if a slice of life was horrifying.

The player is still given choices and prompts, but the options are scrambled, and Jesse never does what any of them were anyway. Their friends try to help, and Petra even catches wind of something strange going on in Beacontown (hard to not notice random blocks appearing and dissapearing above town from far away. And also whatever the heck Jesse is doing to the weather and daylight cycle by accident), and takes an early break away from her adventure to check in on Jesse.

But the more they mess up, the worse they feel... and the worse things get. The citizens of Beacontown are now more afraid of Jesse than they were before, as now it’s actually them doing these things.

Things come to a head when Jesse actually does manage to do something helpful. Something small, borderline inconsequential, like getting a cat out of a tree. Despite this success, the citizens still back away in fear of them. Jesse comes to the conclusion that continuing to stay in Beacontown will only make things worse, and that this cannot be fixed, at least not by them.

Jesse leaves a note at one of their friends’ homes, saying that they’re going somewhere far from the town for them to safely practice using their powers, so there's no need to worry about them.

They take off in the middle of the night.

...

(This choice will matter)

[eriobear]

walt & jesse’s birthdays (respectively september the 7th and 24th)

i know i’m cooked because when these posts come up i always look for walt and jesse’s month instead of my own.

it’s strange that they have the same description everytime, but it makes sense, because they’re like two sides of the same coin. INTJ & ESFP. avoidant and anxious. they both have an utterly dependency on people while acting like the opposite.

jesse needs to be good. he needs to be good to people, especially those he cares about. to the people that say that he’s a rebel i say they don’t get his character (sorry). he fakes it. he’s just a brat. he moved out from his parent’s house not out of rebellion, but survival. he tried to go back home and be whatever his parents wanted him to be if he could have them back. and the same happened with walt. he talked shit about him, but he always wanted his approval and tried to protect him.

and walt... walt loves to think of himself like a provider, he loves to think he’s the one protecting people. he gets off on it. it fuels his sense of masculinity. he’s so into this illusion of himself that he thinks he’s the only one that knows what’s best for the people he cares about, even though it kills them in the process.

i’m obsessed with these posts because you can kinda see what you want to see and analyze the description like you want to (see: the barnum effect). but i love it more to analyze it from walt and jesse’s perspective because they are the same and the opposite at the same time.

[bluebirdsboi]

Jesse Alphabet Fluff Headcanons | Jesse x GN Reader

Fandom: The Last of Us

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Jesse x Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Violence

Word Count: 2,176

~ Requests are closed ~ Taglist is open

A - Admiration (What do they adore about you?)

Jesse loves your willingness to help and how hard-working you are. Whether it's helping out with day-to-day assignments around Jackson or checking in on everyone in group patrols, a smile always pulls at his lips when he sees you caring for others and pulling more than your own weight with no questions asked, even if it's a small one.

B - Body (What is their favorite part of your body?)

Jesse's favorite body part on you is your hips. He always rests his hands on them when he snakes his arm around you, when you're slow-dancing together, or when he's talking to you before you go on a patrol without him. Pretty much any moment with any level of intimacy, his hands will end up on your hips at some point.

C - Cuddling (How do they like to cuddle?)

After a particularly long day, Jesse wants nothing more than to just spoon you with his arms around your waist and his face buried in your neck. He also likes half-spooning on the couch with your head on his chest, and when you rest your head on his shoulder whenever you two are on patrols with just each other. Jesse just likes the feeling of protecting you. Even though he knows you can hold your own, it's his way of letting you know that he's there for you whenever you need him.

D - Dates (What does their ideal date with you look like?)

Jesse's ideal date with you would include him taking you to the diner for dinner and drinks and then going for a stroll around Jackson. With the cool air in the fall and winter months, he'd definitely hold you closer to him and maybe give you a small kiss on the nose as a small act to warm you up, even if it didn't do much. Afterward, the night would end with him taking you dancing or going back home to play board games, slow-dance in the living room, and cuddle on the couch in each other's arms until you fall asleep.

E - Emotions (How do they express their emotions to/around you?)

Jesse's emotions always show themself in his actions and are sometimes followed by words. Whether it's how he walks or carries out assignments, you can guess how he's feeling, especially with how he responds if you ask him about whatever it is he's feeling. When he's upset and needs time to process and calm down, he'll speak in shorter sentences and lean more into your touch after some time.

F - Family (Do they want one? If so, when?)

Eventually, Jesse would want to settle down and have a kid with you. It doesn't matter to him if your family is big or small, just as long as he's there with you. He always gets small visions of him being a cool dad and spending time with you and your child/children around Jackson. You'd also raise your kid(s) to see Ellie, Dina, Joel, Tommy, and Maria as their aunts and uncles.

G - Gifts (How do they feel about giving gifts? What are their gift giving habits?)

Jesse is a man of action, so when he does give you gifts, they're not the most extravagant and he doesn't really expect you to give him anything either. He still would be appreciative, it's just not an expectation he has. When he does get a gift for a special occasion, he does put thought into it and asks the people you're close with if you would like the gift he got before he actually gives it.

H - Hands (Do they like holding hands? When/How?)

Jesse likes to hold your hand in both calm and tense moments. When you're leisurely together, he'll lace his fingers with yours. Also, when one of you is preparing to go on patrol without the other, or you both barely make it out of a swarm of infected. No matter the situation, he likes holding your hand to ground himself and remind himself that you're still there.

I - Injury (How are they when you get hurt?)

If you get hurt, it's usually when you're out on patrol, which would raise panic and multiple questions, the main one being if you got infected. With that possibility alone, Jesse would get angry with himself even if what happened was out of his control because he feels at least partially responsible for keeping you safe. You'd have to reassure him that you're okay, no matter how badly you're beaten to keep him from beating himself up.

J - Jealousy (Do they get jealous? If so, how do they act?)

Jesse wouldn't really be the type to get jealous unless it looks like somebody is obviously flirting with you. He feels secure in your relationship, but when he does get jealous, he always gives whoever it is a death stare before actually talking to them. If he does end up talking to them, he'll try intimidating them to leave by asking them pointed questions in a hostile tone while either having his arm around your waist or standing between you and them with his arms folded.

K - Kiss (How do they like to kiss you?)

Jesse likes more private intimate kisses where his hands start on your waist and he strokes your lower back, maybe even wandering up to your face. He also likes it when you run your fingers through his hair or have a hand on his cheek. If your hand is on his cheek when the kiss breaks, then he'll also kiss your palm before giving one last peck on the lips. In public, though, if he kisses you is always a small peck on your forehead, cheek, lips, or the crown of your head. If one of you is about to leave for a patrol, though, it would last a little longer and he'd hug you with an arm around your waist and another around your shoulders before you or he left.

L - Love (Who said "I love you" first?)

He did when you came back from a patrol. You had been dating for almost two months and you had gotten pretty beat up while you were out. You didn't have any bite marks, but you couldn't leave Jackson for a while. Jesse insisted on helping you patch yourself up and when you were done was when it slipped out.

M - Marriage (What would a wedding with them look like?)

It would be a small wedding with only close family and friends there. Jesse would dress nicer than normal, and his mom would be there along with Ellie, Joel, Dina, Tommy, and Maria. All of Jackson doesn't need to be there for Jesse to say that he loves you and is willing to spend the rest of his life with you.

N - Nickel (Do they spoil you?)

Jesse may not shower you with gifts, but the ones he does give you always have meaning to either you or him. Whether it's him getting things for you or taking you out for the night, he makes sure that you know he's thinking of you.

O - Oddity (What is a quirk they have?)

Jesse is an animal lover. It started out with him hanging around with Ellie in the stables and branched out from there. If he stumbles across an animal when out on patrol, he'll feed it some of his food rations if he has any, or even play with it for a little if he's stuck at a lookout point and it wanders up to him. Because of this, he would also own a dog that he adores.

P - Pet Names (What do they like to call you?)

Jesse's favorite pet name for you would be "honey". He'll say it when you're at home settling in for the night, when he playfully hugs you from behind and kisses your neck and the shell of your ear, or when he's holding you close to him while cuddling. Sure, it's simple, but the way he says it never fails to put a smile on your face. He'd also shorten it to "hon" or call you "babe" in public.

Q - Quality Time (How do they like to spend time with you?)

Jesse loves to play board games with you. He gets a little competitive and loves to make playful bets with you every time. Other than that, Jesse also likes to take you out for dinner and dancing, sitting by a bonfire and holding you close to him, and lounging around the house with you every once in a while.

R - Romance (How do they like to show their affection?)

Jesse's love languages are acts of service and quality time, so he's willing to do almost anything for you and with you. It doesn't matter what you two are doing together, the only thing that matters to him is that you're there with him. He also finds it sweet when you do things for him just as much as when he does things for you.

S - Secrets (How open are they with you?)

Jesse shares everything with you. There may be the occasional tidbit that you might not know if you don't ask, but he doesn't keep anything from you that would break the foundation of your relationship. Jesse's the type of guy to lay everything out on the table within the first week and a half or two weeks of being together, so that you know exactly what you're getting into with him.

T - Time (How long did it take to get together?)

It would have taken at least a month and a half or two from when you first met. Both you and Jesse would be busy between patrols and assignments around Jackson, but you somehow would always find time to see each other. During the period of you two talking, Ellie would poke fun at Jesse for having feelings for you, and slightly breaking down his "cool guy" persona.

U - Upset (How do they comfort you?)

Jesse would always try to talk to you first to see what's upsetting you if he didn't already know and if you needed some time to yourself for a while before he did anything. When he's comforting you, he likes to hold you against his side or his chest and stroke your arm or back while he talks to you about what happened. He's also willing to get or do anything for you if it makes you feel better.

V - Vaunt (Do they like to show off? If so, what?)

When given the opportunity, Jesse always shows off his marksmanship. When he's on patrol with you and/or Ellie, she would end up challenging you and/or Jesse to see who can kill the most infected. Jesse and Ellie would always tie or one of them narrowly beat the other, and it leads to Ellie starting a playful argument and you off to the side shaking your head like a parent watching their kids bickering.

W - Warrior (How do they feel about you fighting?)

Jesse knows that you can hold your own, so he doesn't worry too much when you go out on patrol. There is always a thought in the back of his mind that makes him want to go with you every time you do a patrol without him, but he just sticks to reminding you and your patrol partner to come back if you get overwhelmed.

X - X-Ray (How well can they read you?)

Jesse can tell what you're feeling with a good level of accuracy. He never outwardly assumes what you might be feeling, but he is accustomed to your body language and responds accordingly. His response isn't always vocal such as when you're shaken up or nervous and he holds your hand without saying anything.

Y - Yes (How do they propose to you?)

You and Jesse had just finished eating at the diner and were on your way to your house. When you reached the doorstep of your house and the point where Jesse would usually kiss you goodnight, he started recounting all that you have been through together and saying how much he loved you. You had an idea of where his speech was going, but you still teared up when he got on one knee and asked you to marry him. When you said yes, he did have a feeling of disbelief and asked if you really meant it before giving you the most passionate kiss he could. Instead of him going home, the rest of the night was spent fondly pondering what the rest of your lives would look like together in each other's arms.

Z - Zen (What makes them feel calm?)

Jesse always feels less tense every time that you're around him. His favorite part of the day is getting home in the evening and holding you close to him. Just knowing that you're there and will always be there is enough for him to calm down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I literally haven't posted in a year, I know. My personal life has gone through some pretty big changes and it's still not over, but regardless thank you if you are still here. I closed my requests for now because I just have so many drafts from past requests and my own ideas but you can still show support with likes and reblogs. My taglist is still open, so if you want to be added just send me a DM or a message to my inbox. Also, the first chapter of my The Last of Us fanfic is up on my second blog as well as my AO3 and Wattpad and I'm currently also working on the next chapter, so I appreciate it if you checked that out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @groggygrogu, @houndsoforion, @Jinniemyl0ve, @odetodilfs, @zoloft3

[dellcomics]

"It's a process of really digging, and I enjoy it."

Thirty years ago Mario, Jaime and Gilbert Hernandez created Love and Rockets. Known collectively as Los Bros Hernandez, their impact on the indie cartooning scene has been immeasurable, with their respective Love and Rockets serials, shorts and other work canonized by fans and critics as sacred texts. The reverence is well-earned, but Los Bros are also just like you and me -- they love comics.

During this 30th anniversary of Love and Rockets, I thought it might be fun for readers -- who might never have the chance, otherwise -- to get an idea of what it's like to go shopping for comics with Mario Hernandez. In July we asked longtime Love and Rockets publisher Gary Groth, head of Fantagraphics, for $50 and set to spending it at Comic-Con International in San Diego earlier this year. What follows is a photo essay of our comic book shopping spree.

Lassie No. 20 (1955)

I love experts; especially when their expertise dovetails with my own interests. Considering the narrow focus of those interests, I end up knowing a lot of people who know a lot about comics.

One of those people is Love and Rockets creator, Mario Hernandez. Mario shares my enthusiasm for titles published in the 1950s and '60s. These include, as brother Jaime says, "All of them..; Archie, Dennis the Menace, Marvel, DC, Harvey, Mad, Cracked, Gold Key, Dell, Tower, Warren, etc..."

Whenever I get the opportunity -- comic book conventions, mostly -- I like to tag along with Mario while he searches through the back-issue bins. I've been following him around for years now.

Dell Four Color No. 529 (1953)

1/2 price boxes in the $4 range are his hunting grounds today. Mario buys a lot of these comics just for the cover. "The insides might suck," he warns.

Mario's drawn my attention to many series I would have passed over and filled in many gaps in my knowledge of the great cartoonists who made them. He always seems to know which dealers to work with, and, of course, since Mario is so well-liked by everyone he always gets a bargain.

Finally, a good Tin Tin comic

Having had a peek at Jaime Hernandez's want-list before, I was anxious to read and photograph Mario's. He surprised me, though, by claiming to have no physical list. Instead, Mario claims to keep track of his collection mentally. Should he end up with doubles on an issue, it will be passed along to a friend or relation.

Classics Illustrated No. 146 (1958)

I know collectors can be pretty cagey about their lists, so it may be that Mario just didn't want to share his with us. It can be frustrating to see demand drive prices up on a collection you've been trying to complete. Of course, getting a look at a renowned collector's want-list can tell you what they want, but it doesn't tell you why.

TOPIX Vol. 09, No. 29 (1951)

"For three bucks, you're on a roll." - Mario Hernandez

Dell Four Color No. 1261 (1961), $2.00

One of the highlights of the day was finding this copy of Rawhide with Clint Eastwood's face carefully cut out. We were pretty excited and misidentified the art on page one as being Jesse Marsh (look at that cheekbone on that right-hand profile!). Marsh is best known for his Tarzan work, but also drew many westerns.

Afterwards, Mario sent this update: The art inside that book is Dan "The real freakin' man" Spiegle. Not Jesse Marsh but a great artist in his own right. He pretty much drew almost all the live-action Disney stuff for movies and TV.

HOT TIP: "They stick a lot old stuff in between the new stuff so I always look for the brown spines" - Mario Hernandez

My Romantic Adventures No. 134 (1963)

"They [romance cartoonists] would do them as jams. You could see a Mike Sekowsky panel, then inked by somebody else, and then the next panel's a Gil Kane panel so they used to pass these things around." - Mario Hernandez

"Since [Mario] was the comic book buyer in the house, whatever he brought home was looked at as something new if not always liked. The only kinds of comics we didn't read were romance comics, being five boys in the house for so many years and only later a little sister showing up." - Gilbert Hernandez

The Best of Dennis the Menace No. 21 (1964)

"I remember seeing one time... there was, in the next town, a used book store, and it would have a little ad in the newspaper that said 'old comics' -- or something like that -- '10 cents.' And I was like, 'I want to go to this place!'" - Mario Hernandez

Mario Hernandez and Lori Graham of Graham Crackers Comics, Chicago. "This lady is making me very happy today," said Mario. Graham Crackers has been exhibiting at San Diego's Comic-Con for over 20 years and plan to be back next summer.

Maybe next year I can follow collector Zack Carlson around for a while. This copy of Star-Studded Comics (1965) he found looks pretty good.

All of this and $14 change. I also got a copy of Classics Illustrated No. 85 (The Sea Wolf), but would trade it in a heartbeat for that issue of Lassie at left.

Digging through longboxes with one of the architects of alternative cartooning is a thrill every nerd should experience. If you ever get the chance, DON'T BLOW IT!

-Steven Weissman for Comics Alliance, 2014.

[shrinkthisviolet]

For the angst prompts, 10 for Barry and Morgan?

YESSS ofc! This takes place right after 3x1, when Barry returns from Flashpoint. All the canon changes of Flashpoint are intact...but Barry hasn't found out about those just yet ;)

Barry skidded to a stop in the Cortex, eyes wide and desperate as he scanned the room. Caitlin, Cisco, Iris, Jesse, Harry— No, no, where’s—? “Barry?” Cisco frowned. “What’s wrong?” What’s wrong? What’s wr—how could he ask that?! Morgan’s missing, she’s gone, she— …wait. Maybe she’s not. Maybe…maybe I’m just overreacting. “Barr?” Iris prompted softly. “Where’s Morgan?” He burst out, hoping for any answer. At school, with Tina…even kidnapped, he’d save her in a heartbeat—anything to hold his baby sister again, to settle his n— “Who?” His heart skipped a beat. “…Morgan. Our Morgan. Don’t you remember?” “Allen, what are you talking about?” Harry frowned. “We don’t know any Morgan.” “But you do!” Barry’s eyes darted desperately between them. “You all—Iris, she worked with you at Jitters, you recommended her to Starbucks in Starling City, she’s one of your best friends!” Iris just stared back in confusion. “I don’t know anyone like th—” “Caitlin, Cisco,” he entreated. “Come on, you guys knew her before I did! She was Thawne’s so-called daughter, he treated her terribly—we all missed the signs, me most of all, don’t you remember any of it?!” “I’d never miss something like that,” Caitlin whispered, tears in her eyes as she set her jaw. “That…I’m a doctor, what kind of doctor would miss that?!” “It’s okay, Cait.” Cisco squeezed her hand reassuringly, his worried gaze still fixed on Barry. “Jesse?” He pleaded, desperately running over and shaking her, ignoring everyone’s startled cries. “Please, please, she’s your sister, your soulmate, you must know someth—” “Get off me!” Jesse shoved him off, succeeding only because of his shock, fearful as she stared him down. “What the hell’s gotten into you, Barry? I have no idea who that girl is!” “That can’t be!” Barry cried. “That…that’s impossible!” How could everyone just forget M—? “Things are back to how they should be. Well…for me, anyway. For you…” He froze. No, no, what did you do to her, what did you— “Barry?” Iris prompted gently, snapping him out of it. “It’s okay. Whatever happened...we’ll figure it out, okay?” His friends, his family, had only shock and concern written on their faces. All for him. Not Morgan. Because…because they didn't remember her. They didn’t remember how much they loved her. How much they worried about her. How much better their lives were for having her in them. They didn’t remember the Team’s youngest, most vulnerable member, who had been part of it nearly since its beginning, who had always risked her life to protect them even when they begged her not to (just like Barry, they teased, which always charged up a surge of guilt within him). All of this…he’d time-traveled to save his mom, to maybe even save his dad too, but in the process— In the process, all he’d done was erase Morgan from their lives somehow. “Now, you can reset the timeline, you can try to fix it, but no matter how hard you try…it’s never gonna be exactly how it was.” No. No, I won’t accept that. He hadn’t accepted it with the tidal wave, when he’d time-traveled to save lives, and he sure as hell wouldn’t accept it now, when his time travel had erased one. No, not erased. Not…not erased, just…just gone. Just not here. The mere thought of that made him sick. Morgan, his baby sister…wherever she was, she needed him. And he needed her too. “Cisco,” Barry tried again, “you can see into other timelines, can’t you? Please…” Cisco frowned. “You…you think we’re in a different timeline?” “That…would mean you time-traveled.” Caitlin frowned too. “Barry?” Iris’s eyes widened. Of course, she’d put the pieces together. Barry looked around at all of them, at their wary faces, and sighed. “There’s…there’s something I should tell you…”

prompt list!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs

@thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

@miss-eli-starfleet

[kay-wren]

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 31

"Well tonight was super fun you guys but, it's way past Charley's bedtime." Jessie sighed as she got up from Rafe's lap as Charley was passed out on her shoulder. Rafe eventually stood up as well and took Charley out of Jessie's hands to put her in her car seat.

"Thank you guys for such an amazing night, and being so understanding." Jessie exclaimed as she gestured over to Rafe, who was out of ear shot.

"Anything for you, Jess." John B answered with a half smile.

"Yeah, and we all loved getting to know Charley. Thanks for bringing her around." Sarah said genuinely. Jessie could tell her heart was aching to know her niece more, and to see Rafe get redemption. Jessie knew in time she would get both. She gave all the pogues hugs as Rafe made his way back to the group with his hands in his pockets. Pope was the one to extend the olive branch formally as he stuck his hand out to Rafe.

"We're glad you're here... for Charley, man." Pope stated, still waiting for a hand shake. Rafe looked at his hand with surprise. After all that Rafe had done to Pope specifically and he was still willing to shake his hand? Rafe was impressed. He smiled and gladly took his hand, with a nonverbal understanding between the two of them that everything was okay between them. That was a step in the right direction, and Jessie was glad that all the pogues got to see that redemption was possible, slowly. Baby steps was all Jessie wanted.

"Same time again tomorrow... my place." Was all Rafe could muster, not really having the words to say but trying to make it clear he appreciated their kindness.

With that, Jessie walked over to her husband, who then took her hand and walked to the truck, opening her door of course. Rafe may be fine with fighting anyone who deserves it but giving his wife anything less than princess treatment was never okay in his book. He knew that wasn't always his thought process, and that's why he was more determined than ever to not let her lift a finger.

"Did you have fun?" Jessie asked hand in hand with Rafe as they drove home.

"I always have fun when I'm with you." Rafe replied as he looked over at Jessie lovingly. Jessie looked back at Charley sleeping in her car seat and realized something.

"Where's Charley gonna sleep tonight? She doesn't exactly have her bed with her." Jessie asked as she looked back at Rafe who was now focused back on the road.

"She can sleep in any room you want... or she can sleep with us." Rafe implied.

"Normally I don't encourage her sleeping in the bed with me, but that might be best considering she doesn't really know where she is." Jessie said.

"Whatever you want, baby." Rafe answered as he brought her hand up to his lips, giving it a soft kiss.

The three of them finally rolled up to the house and got out of the truck. Rafe went to the back driver door to get Charley out of her car seat. In her sleep she managed to still find Rafe's broad chest and sling herself around him, burying her head in the crook of his neck. They walked into the house and up the stairs to Rafe's old room. There was no way they were sleeping anywhere else in that house.

Jessie couldn't believe the sight, the room still looked just like it did years ago, with the exception of a newer comforter. Other than that, the room remained arranged the same as it did when she and Rafe were dating.

"Can you grab her pajamas? I put the bags in my closet." Rafe whispered as he walked over to his bed to lay Charley down. Jessie walked over to the large walk in closet and found the bags. She came back to Rafe taking off Charley's socks and shoes ever so delicately for fear of waking her. She had to admire the sight for a second, taking in the moment, noticing how sweet and gentle Rafe was being even when he thought nobody was watching.

Rafe and Jessie both worked together to get Charley changed without waking her. Although she stirred a few times, with gentle coos she was back to sleep. Rafe decided to lay her right in the middle of the bed for the time being while he and Jessie got ready for bed.

"She's sound asleep." Rafe said as he walked over to Jessie who was taking off her jewelry and laying it on his desk.

"Yea she is... you wanna fool around?" Jessie smirked as she snaked her arms around Rafe. Rafe was in disbelief at her boldness but he returned the favor by wrapping his arms around her as well.

"Our daughter is right there." Rafe scoffed with a slight laugh.

"Ugh, don't be weird." Jessie slapped his arm playfully. "I meant do you want to go take a shower?" She asked. As tempting as that was to Rafe, he did worry about leaving Charley in the room alone, even if his bathroom was connected. He looked back at Charley hesitantly. Jessie noticed his concern and pulled his face back to look at her again.

"She's out. She's not waking up, I promise." Jessie reassured through a lustful tone as she slowly lifted her feet to meet Rafe's lips, giving him a slow, seductive kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began pulling at the collar of his shirt. Rafe moaned into the kiss as he deepened it, wrapping his arms tighter around Jessie and exploring her body more. He was in it now, and Jessie knew it. She smirked through the kiss as she backed Rafe up into the bathroom and closed the door, making sure to lock it behind her.

- - -

That next morning Jessie woke up wrapped around Rafe's strong arms. She opened her eyes to see her husband conked out and her daughter sleeping on his chest. Jessie thought they both looked the exact same when they slept. She laid in bed for a few minutes but when she realized she was not going back to sleep, she decided to get up and walk downstairs to the kitchen.

Wondering around in the Cameron household was still very unusual to Jessie, despite the house being legally Rafe's, she couldn't help but feel an eerie presence, as if Ward Cameron could just walk around the corner at any given moment. Still, she tried to keep thoughts like that far away.

Jessie made her way into the kitchen in nothing but one of Rafe's old gray t-shirts where she looked in the fridge. Nothing. But that made sense when Jessie considered that the last time Rafe was in the house he knew he probably wouldn't be back for awhile, and he was right. But, ugh, Jessie was starving, she always did wake up hungry. Seeing that there was not even a snack in the house, she decided to just go back up to bed.

Jessie creeped in the room, careful not to creek the door and wake up the two still sleeping. She decided to simply play on her phone until they woke up. Jessie flipped through her snap story to see some pictures and videos from the pogues from last night. She was grateful those were only posted to their private stories. Jessie wondered how telling the world her and Rafe were back together-- and had a child-- was going to play out, but that was a conversation for a different day.

Not long after Jessie had come back to bed, Rafe began to stir. She felt Rafe's hand creep up her thigh as he tried to signal to Jessie that he was awake, but still trying not to wake the sleeping three year old that was dead weight on top of him.

Rafe slowly turned on his side, suddenly uncomfortable with how he was lying, careful not to let his daughter plop down on the bed and choosing rather to lay her down gently in between him and Jessie. Charley stirred for a moment but with Rafe rubbing her head and cooing her she was put right back to sleep, but not before cuddling into Rafe some more. He simply wrapped his arm around her and looked at Jessie, who had since turned over as well.

"Good morning, baby." Rafe whispered as he patted Charley's back.

"We need groceries." Jessie stated, half joking but also half serious. Rafe gave her an amused look.

"Well someone's cranky." He whispered again.

"Someone's hungry." Jessie replied, more matter of factly this time but still with a playful smile. Rafe just laughed.

"You wanna go get breakfast somewhere?" Rafe asked.

"Wouldn't that be a problem considering you're still kind of a spectacle around Kildare? And me? I mean nobody's even seen me in four years, let alone seeing us together with a kid." Jessie implied. Rafe paused for a moment to think.

"Let em stare I guess. We still need food." Rafe shrugged. Jessie still looked hesitant and Rafe could see that.

"Since when did we care what people around here thought of us, huh?" Rafe whispered with a loving look as he cupped Jessie's face and rubbed his thumb against her cheek. Jessie knew Rafe had a point, suddenly thinking back to midsummers, all the times Rafe stood up to his dad, the times Jessie stood up to the pogues, and the countless stares they received years ago when the kook king and the pogue princess were seen young dumb and in love around OBX. They didn't care then, why should they start caring now? With that, Jessie exhaled a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding and nodded.

"So can we go like now?" Jessie asked. Rafe laughed again at her boldness.

"She's still sleeping." Rafe joked, pointing at the sleeping beauty in his arms.

"She'll be fine. She's been woken up before." Jessie reassured. Rafe just pursed his lips and gave his wife a look as if to say I can't do that to her.

"I have no problem waking her up." Jessie laughed.

"Well good because I can't." Rafe said as he looked lovingly at his daughter who was dead asleep against him. Jessie scooted closer to her daughter and started scratching her back. She figured this would be a good time for Rafe to learn the best way to wake her up. Charley, arched her back in her sleep, probably feeling like she was being tickled. She eventually awoke enough to put her arm to her back and swat away whatever was bothering her so much, assuming it was her own mom. Her violent swats made Rafe and Jessie laugh. Rafe's rising and falling chest was enough to annoy Charley and cause her to roll over on her back in between the two of them.

"Charley bug..." Jessie whispered sweetly as she tickled Charley's stomach. "It's time to wake uuuuup." She sing songed. Charley whined and rolled back over onto Rafe's chest and slung one arm around his exposed shoulder. Rafe couldn't handle the cuteness, as he had no choice but to wrap her in his arm and pucker his bottom lip at Jessie. Jessie just gave Rafe a look as if to say that he wasn't making the role of bad cop any easier. To the behest of both of them, Jessie finally pulled Charley gently back onto her back and started carefully shaking her awake. Eventually Charley opened her eyes and looked at her mom with confusion and slight annoyance.

"You wanna go get breakfast somewhere?" Jessie asked through a hushed tone. Knowing how much Charley loved breakfast, her eyes went wide as a response as if to say of course.

[crmsndragonwngss]

Rehosted from rocksound.tv. Be sure to visit the page and support rocksound and the author, and to see the digital feature, which includes photos of the band!

ERRA, ‘Cure’ | The Album Story

by Jack Rogers | March 28, 2024

ERRA return with their highly anticipated sixth studio album ‘Cure’, featuring recent singles ‘Pale Iris’ and ‘Blue Reverie’ and set for release on April 05 via UNFD. Ahead of its arrival, we chatted with vocalist JT Cavey and guitarist and songwriter Jesse Cash about the process behind the record, from capturing their modern metalcore sound to lyric writing, choosing the artwork and more.

Read ERRA ‘Cure’ | The Album Story below:

ERRA are still determining what it is about the last few years that has allowed them to rise to the top of the modern metalcore ladder, but they aren’t complaining. Thanks to this shift in scene perception and passion, these have been the most successful and exciting years of their decade-and-a-half career. And with that success and building a ravenously passionate fanbase, they have felt the most at ease with their creativity. They can do whatever they want, and that’s a fantastic spot to be in.

“The biggest thing we have taken in is that we are blessed to be able to do our own thing,” vocalist JT Cavey smiles. “We have always been hyper-focused on ourselves within self-improvement and creating stuff that we like, but now we are lucky to have cultivated a fanbase that just trusts us. We’ve grown substantially post-COVID, and I can’t explain why things like that have happened, but we are grateful. We can continue to be ourselves while making the things we have always been working on. It’s really nice.”

It’s with this openness that they have been able to create a record as dense, destructive, and dizzying as ‘Cure’. Weaving gleefully between all-out sonic battery, ethereal atmospheres, and experimental expansion, it is a collection of songs that pushes what is expected of the band without losing any of the phenomenal technicality and vigour that has defined them all these years.

“I think part of why this album is cool is because it does sound more accessible to us, but it doesn’t sacrifice anything,” guitarist and primary songwriter Jesse Cash expands. “It gets tricky when accessibility becomes an objective. It ends up backfiring a lot. We hoped that it would sound easy to listen to whilst still managing to be personal and profound. Hearing the end result made us realise that’s what we did. More than anything, this sounds like an ERRA record.”

To dive deeper into everything that makes ‘Cure’ what it is, Rock Sound sat down with JT and Jesse to discuss the ebbs and flows that go into crafting such a gorgeously gritty piece of art.

THE SOUND

Historically, when it comes to ERRA heading into the studio to commit a record to tape, most of the music is already in place. That comes down to meticulous pre-production and demoing from Jesse, serving as a foundation of what he anticipates that particular chapter of the band to encompass. In the case of ‘Cure’, rhythm was the focus, with more attention being put on what the right hand was doing more than the left in terms of guitar playing. The result is groove, and lots of it.

“Because of the time that had passed since our last record [2021’s ‘ERRA’], this album was going to sound different no matter what,” he muses. “I really wanted to focus mostly on groove because that is what I listen to and enjoy more recently. Bands like Tool and Gojira and Meshuggah, a lot of the technicality of those bands is just crazy rhythm. It’s way more of a workout on the right hand. So that is how my guitar adapted to the riffs I wrote. It just naturally happened, as that was the style of metal I was listening to.”

That’s how you end up with the pulsating brutality of ‘Slow Sour Bleed’ rubbing shoulders with the shimmering gorgeousness of ‘Past Life Persona’. The painstaking intensity of ‘Crawl Backwards Out Of Heaven’ slots perfectly next to the all-seeing power of ‘Glimpse’. It is a tapestry of technicality and tenacity that feels as grand as it does natural. By focusing on how their creativity can serve the individual song rather than the broader picture, the possible leaps and bounds felt all the more endless.

“I feel like we had more fun with these songs in the risks we were taking, even if you could call them a risk,” JT adds. “As long as people trust in and have faith in that, including ourselves, then we can’t go wrong.”

THE COLLABORATORS

One of the most significant changes from how ERRA have previously functioned is introducing an external producer. With Jesse being so hands-on throughout their career, they knew that if they would let somebody else into the fold, they needed to know exactly what this was all about. That’s where Daniel Braunstein comes into the mix. The man behind the desk for bands such as Spiritbox, The Ghost Inside, Volumes and Silent Planet, he is as close to modern metalcore royalty as you are going to get. Being so intertwined into understanding what it takes to write a song that is as boundary-pushing as it is wonderfully heavy, there was nobody else better on their list.

“Just the simple notion of having a producer involved meant that [this album] would be different,” Jesse explains. “There’s more space for the songs to change and evolve. And Dan was the right producer for us. He understands the assignment more than anyone else would because he is in the middle of the genre—creating a more nuanced version of metal.”

Even with such high regard and understanding for what he was capable of, Jesse went to extra lengths to ensure they were all on the same working page when it came time to hit the studio. With both him and Dan living in Los Angeles, it was easy to pop around and see how he functions whilst sitting in on a handful of sessions with other bands, one being their close friends Kingdom Of Giants as they worked on their track ‘Wasted Space’. Over two years, they built a relationship that allowed the creation of ‘Cure’ to be as seamless as possible.

“I feel like Dan allowed Jesse to be pretty experimental within this record,” JT points out. “He’s not a yes man, and he will tell you when he’s not feeling something, but he also has a lot of great ideas and is incredibly supportive. He’s very diplomatic like that. We couldn’t ask for more.”

THE LYRICS

So often in heavy music, the lyrics take a backseat. This is something that ERRA make sure is far from the case, even putting more emphasis on what their songs are saying at times than what it sounds like. Making sure that whatever direction they were heading in sonically, the words attached served them. Because of this, ‘Cure’ became quite the dark record in the grand scheme of things. Dwelling in the darkness is something that Jesse and JT are used to and more than happy to express. This time around, much of their expression came from the other forms of media that Jesse was consuming. One such morsel was the 1997 film Cure, a Japanese atmospheric crime picture that wallows in the depths of unhinged brutality and philosophical questioning. Though nothing on the record is actually inspired by the movie, despite sharing the title, the atmosphere and pondering of existence, and the pursuit of purpose within that questioning, is draped throughout.

“Records are an imprint of a time and place of where you are at,” Jesse muses. “So, when we were tracking this one, I dipped my toes into the darkness and stayed there for a few months with the content I was ingesting. It enforced the way the record sounded and felt. Because of that, the record is pretty dark but ends on a positive note. It’s the idea of focusing on the darkness, but then somebody turns on a flashlight. I like how it is focused in that way.”

Though much of what Jesse was being inspired by could be seen as nihilistic and bleak, that’s not to say it reflects on who the band are as people or how they want their mindsets to be interpreted. It’s more of a case of understanding that these ways of thinking exist and that it is possible to approach life from these angles and feel like you have everything figured out through this lens. Every person making their way through this life views their everyday differently, and that is as beautiful as it is overwhelming when you think about it too much. Using ERRA to try to interpret these different strands of humanity, no matter how pitch-black they may seem, is how Jesse learns more about himself and his own way of seeing things. It’s also so he knows that the band have done enough to cover every base they can.

“We’re making songs; it doesn’t always have to be a direct reflection of us,” He expands. “This isn’t us saying we are super dark people, but I just want to go there and see what I find. Any kind of art is about trying to nail down a relatable feeling. Something to make you understand what you are going through and feeling. That’s why I take it so seriously, and it’s what I obsess over the most during the process. Let’s make these lyrics as good as they can be. We’re going to be a band that does that.”

THE TITLE AND ARTWORK

If this album wasn’t going to be called ‘Cure’, another option batted around was ‘Wish’. Though it ended up being the former, ‘Wish’ is still an essential word to the record’s anatomy. It is not just the title of the ethereal introduction to the stunning ‘Glimpse’ but also a word that appears in a particular lyric alongside cure in the sprawling title track. In many ways, both go hand in hand. The idea of a cure is rooted in positivity, but what if the cure that ails our existence is that nothing truly matters. What if all we were wishing for was to exist in the grey rather than spiral and bounce between the black and white?

That ambiguity stretches into the eerie artwork, showing off distorted human-like figures clinging to each other like their lives depend on it. As you move further away from the details, you see how these figures make up a gigantic earth-shaped structure. Such a foreboding structure feels otherworldly in scope, but on a smaller scale, it almost represents how much we depend on connection to make it through the day. It’s as human as it is alien, depressing as it is enlightening, and that is absolutely the point.

“This collection of beings forming a sphere—it’s pretty interesting and exciting,” Jesse explains. “This broad view of humanity that, at times, can be bleak. At other times, it can be very beautiful and connecting. There’s a lyric in the title track I like where we say, ‘We are connected by loneliness, through a kinship of detachment. The juxtaposition in these words that defile one another—those are my favourite kinds of themes.”

Though many of the themes within the record come from a pursuit of understanding, Jesse realises that being able to sit and question what everything means and what purpose is within that is a luxury. Many people are just trying to make it from dawn to dusk, getting enough food, sleep and shelter. In many ways, that is what all of this is about. Being content in what we are capable of and understanding that our neighbours are just trying to do the same.

“I don’t think the record declares any answer or preaches anything. It’s a bit more open and ambiguous,” Jesse admits. “I think we are always doing that. It’s a dicey place to be, as everyone is right and everyone is wrong at exactly the same time. It’s a difficult thing to carry around and show off, but there is a sweet spot to it. It’s about not letting your mind dominate you within the ambiguity.”

THE FUTURE

On a professional level, ERRA are having the time of their lives right now. They have more eyes on them than ever before, and as they approach their biggest-ever headline tour, even more will be facing their way. Though on that more profound level, this era of the band will allow the variety of eyes and ears engaged in their output to expand. Described by JT as a “Delivery service for whatever you want from us”, it means that within the ambiguous scope of what they have achieved with ‘Cure’, the potential connection will be even more prominent. From searching for your calling to simply trying to make your brain quiet down a bit, ERRA is the cure. Though that might not have been the intention, it’s a pretty extraordinary place to be.

“The album we have made is so full of variety; the avenue you want to travel down is up to you,” JT smiles. “That’s the same across every song on the record. It’s just really fun to be able to do that. I feel like with any artist, a part of their journey is presenting a practical thing impractically and hoping it clicks with somebody. We are all on a different means of connecting and trying to meet in the middle. That feels like a global goal, and we’re having fun participating in that.”