#journal entry sorta thing

[pepcono]

The cube is a puppy girl?!? The lore deepens!

I'm but a humble devotee of the cube. The cube may be a puppygirl, I'd have to ask it

but yep I'm a puppy girl now!

Started out as a sorta joke cause a friend on steam was called "catgirl gaming" so I joined as "puppygirl gaming" and then it continued from there, and now I blush when called a good puppy.

Also "pawesome" has completely integrated itself into my vocabulary. My phone keyboard recommends it as a word now :3

[t1metravel]

DONNIE DARKO HEADCANONS

౨ৎ my personal collection, will add to this list over time

౨ৎ tw! some headcanons may include sensitive topics, they will be separated from the rest of the headcanons & listed at the bottom :)

last updated 5/5/25

-if modern day donnie had tiktok, he would stitch people’s videos with a video of him calling them stupid, or just staring blankly at the camera

-he cuddles a pillow and holds his own hand to go to sleep when gretchen isn’t there :(((

-speaking of gretchen he tickles her just to fuck with her

-he chews on the tip of his pencils when he’s thinking really hard abt something

-he bites the inside of his cheek when he’s nervous

-horrible stutter. this one is sorta canon bc he does stutter in the movie but when you get to really know him he doesn’t mask it as often

-he struggles with spelling some words. there’s a few words he can never remember how to spell, but good thing for him i headcanon gretchen to always the best at the spelling bee. so she can help him :)

-aside from sleepwalking this guy makes a lot of noises in his sleep. sometimes even talking in full sentences.

-was in art class. he tried pottery but, let’s just say, making mugs isn’t his strong suit. he’d rather sketch what goes on in his head. (me too)

-speaking of art, he draws gretchen quite often!!

-same with writing poems about her. he has such a way with words

-this is shown in the movie, but donnie often rambles about whatever interests him or whatever is on his mind to whoever he can feel comfortable with. he doesn’t realize it sometimes, but when he does it to gretchen she’s the only person who doesn’t tell him to stop or be quiet. she sits there and listens and loses herself in him

-he’s got pages upon pages in his journal that are barely understandable. he’s the type of person who’s handwriting gets worse depending on how upset they are at the time of writing. you can tell when he’s just seen frank in some of his entries, even if he doesn’t bring it up.

-will wear the same t shirt multiple days in a row i’m sorry (it’s probably that dumb blue one :3)

-shoves his papers haphazardly in his bag in school. this man hasn’t touched a folder in his life

-speaking of school, he’s really good in one subject and horrible in the other. there’s no in between.

-i also like to think donnie often went nonverbal as a kid but he went to therapy for it early on

——————————————————

-i ‘like’ to think his hallucinations got so bad he attempted. or at least almost did. the gun he found, he took it and biked off to that one spot on the road where you can see the sky so well. he was almost at his demise, but someone thought he was sleepwalking again and told him to go home.

[thechillsquid]

Blind Eyes- Nightmares

You know something ironic? In the au, Bill is actually the one that helps Stan and Fidds get over some of their more troublesome nightmares and sleepless nights; at first it’s mostly because, well, can’t have these two idiots messing up the portal because they’re sleep deprived and irritated! But as time goes on, it’s just sorta a developed habit, he drags them out their nightmares and it becomes less of a thing where the triangular bastard is poking and prodding at them to just talking.

The funnier thing is that Bill kinda sorta accidentally develops this habit for Soos, Wendy, and the kids down the line as well; Soos comes into the shack with bags under his eyes and a stumble in his step and Stan barely manages to get the kid to talk about how he just ‘didn’t have good dreams.’

Bill might not excatly see anyone besides Fidds and Stan as important to him for a long time, but he notices that if something happens to either Soos or Wendy, well then his humans get all weird about it too. So what’s a demon to do? He’s been able to drag the other mortals out of their funks, so why not extend the gesture? If only to make sure things are running smoothly and he doesn’t got to deal with annoyingly emotions or cranky teenagers (particularly that later one, yeeeeeshhh!)

It becomes more of a problem when Dipper and Mabel show up, Bill’s got his work cut out for him, and not because the kids have worst nightmares than other people, but because these kids notice something off the bat

And well, it doesn’t exactly help when Dipper connects some dots between that one journal entry and their eccentric Grunkle, but it’s a habit by then, it makes the demon feel useful. So what if eventually it gets him having a couple kids now following him around in the mindscape AND real life trying to interview him about his abilities, it’s kinda cute

Then Ford’s back. Oh now that? That’s a fun one, cause well. It’s a habit. Those involved with the shack? He helps with the nightmares. He doesn’t realize the irony until he’s in Fordsey’s mind and the monster in the dark is a version of him he’s long since grow apart from

Funny how things work like that, ain’t it?

[manic-sapphic]

alright a sorta? spop based rant for ya but also just kinda almost a personal journal entry lol~

one i thought i'd share just cause i think maybe some ppl might relate tho:

yeah ok, i really love catra so much and for so many reasons and ik i'm not the only one lol. but one of my reasons for loving this btch so much that i'd rlly like to share is that she's this character who really kinda can honestly be regarded as not deserving forgiveness by s5. and even she feels that way - literally it's why she initially acts the way she does in taking control. like obvi, gurl is regressing hxc cause she legit just doesn't think she's worth it tbh, esp in regards to adora.

i mean, catra wakes up in adora's arms at the conclusion of save the cat, sure. but if we're to see "don't go" as canon in anyway, she actually fully comes to a conscious awareness of her surroundings later on, in "the brig" w adora. freaks out at first yeah, assuming it's just another prime mind trick (something that's soo heartbreaking in and of itself that i can't really get into it rn lol but pls know i see it and i know you prob do too). but even when she settles down, she's found herself in the last fucking place she thinks she deserves to be - w adora. and yeah ok, she had a hard time wrapping her head around that. like idk, it seems understandable to me but i could be alone on that i dunno man ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but adora forgives her anyways. like, she just loves her that much :) a single display of outright sacrifice and devotion from catra for adora is all it takes for that gurl to straight u-turn darla around and go back to save that gorgeous, and yeah also flawed, fucking kitty cat dude.

and like, idk. but i bet some others share this feeling and relate to catra in part cause of it - this desire to be forgiven in that way by maybe some people from their past idk. i could be way off base, maybe it's just me - but dude. i feel it watching spop and the forgiveness/atonement arc w catradora in season 5. and the thing to remember as well - the arc of forgiveness/atonement happening for the two during that time? not one-sided at all, one way or another. they both had reasons to atone & forgive w each other, whether some sides were more or less extreme - i think it's something they both realized sooner or later.

just tho, this idea that two people who have been friends for almost all their lives but have more recently been at odds, can maybe still find a way to understand each other? and care for each other, simply cause figuring out how to do that - no matter how difficult it may be - means so much to them, they just can't let themselves shrug and walk away? dude tho :/

[raining-tulips]

hi! i just found your blog :) love your commonplace book scans! if you don’t mind me asking, could you give a more in-depth explanation of what commonplacing is exactly and what your process is? i’m intrigued and considering getting into it but i wouldn’t even know where to start! thanks a lot xx

Absolutely! So my commonplace is specifically all movies, qoutes, articles, tumblr/Instagram posts, book excerpts, etc. that either resonated with me or I think I'll want to reference later. That is the heart of what common placing is - saving things for later physically rather than digitally.

Some of these just pop up in my feed, and I'll hit the like or save button. If it's an article, it usually first pops up as a preview on my Instagram and I'll open the full article on my desktop than bookmark it in a specific folder for common placing.

Sometimes, when I want to actively find something out (say, about if perfume is really bad for the environment, or I want to look at author interviews because I just loved a book) I will go out and search for that information.

Then, usually once a week I compile everything I'd like to print - i print the sources bc my handwriting is messy - into a word document formatted for two columns. I try and hold off printing until i have a full page worth, or two full page worth.

For images, I have another word document (these are printed in color, and i usually have to jigsaw to fit as many images on the page as possible, so different word document). Same thing, I try and wait until I have a full page to print. Usually x2 a month. I sometimes will print with an HP sprocket but the quality is really bad and the pictures are thick so, it's for when I'm out of printer ink or I think a photo will look okay with a sorta...uneven look.

I use just a Staples brand journal, TruRed. Cheap and easy. I draw a line at the top so I can write the date, and in the future if I want to tag it with a colored sticker or something, I can. My layouts usually include divided space on either the left or right of a page. The article goes in the bigger open space, and then the source (always write your source!!) and any commentary goes in the smaller margins.

Commentary is usually why I wanted to print it, what it reminds me of or makes me think about, etc. What I think the argument was missing, etc. Can be as little or as much as you like. As emotional and deep or as plain-jane as you like. There are no rules!

I trim printed text and images with a 12 inch trimmer bc I've got wobbly hands, but some people just use a little (blanking on the name) exacto knife? Any 12 inch trimmer will do mine is expensive but I also scrapbook so I use it all the time.

I paste things in using a tape runner (again, because I scrapbook and found a tape runner and my mom sells scrapbook supplies they're very accessible to me). Some people use tape, washi tape, glue sticks (liquid glue I've never seen).

And yeah, then I just decorate and play around. It doesn't have to be pretty. It can be really pretty if you want - I'm motivated by aesthetics, so, I like mine to be a little pretty.

If you'd like to see how I actually put it together and why I print certain things, my YouTube channel is the place to go.

Some people tape in movie tickets, receipts from where they shopped or ate, pictures from daily life. Some people mix common-placing and journaling, so including diary entries about their day or about a topic they love, or their thoughts and feelings (I keep mine in a separate journal, explained in this video). Some people mix common-placing with bullet journal or planning. Some combine all three!

At the end I just use a printer scanner (HP Envy 5500, cheap) and post them online that way bc I love the look.

People who have other styles you might try and look at are @petite-gloom (an OG who inspired me and many others) @fakelavender , @teddybearsticker .

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #51: Weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me in a Spacebucks

Ever since Poe and Beebee-Ate moved in, I’ve been buying caf in the morning more often, instead of making it at home. RIP my bank account.

See, Beebee is kind of hyper in the morning. When my alarm goes off, he rolls off his charging port and starts following me around. Even into the bathroom—like, bro. Personal space?? So, I’m kinda eager to just get out the door as soon as possible.

But, maybe Beebee-Ate is just my poor excuse. Because...coffeeshops in autumn? Vibes. I already admitted to you that I’m a sucker for seasonal beverages.

I'd had it in my mind to try to meditate before work. I had told Fannie I would. (This was before...stuff happened.) And over my morning caf seemed like a good time to do it. But…I never really ended up doing it. I guess I’m afraid of what I’ll see and hear, if I quiet my mind like that. I’m scared I’ll see whatever’s inside me that my mom seems so afraid of... Or, I’m scared I’ll see nothing at all.

Because...that’s how I’ve felt, lately. Like a husk. Holding my head above water, but just barely. Making it through. Texting my mom every day to keep her happy, and saying “Yes I love you I’ll tell my parents about you soon” to my sorta-girlfriend to keep her happy (guess I won't have to worry about that anymore at least), and showing up to work on time and generating five-hundred pieces of content to keep them happy, and lying to my uncle about my connection to the Force to keep him happy (won't have to worry about that anymore either I guess), and suppressing my urge to kick Beebee-Ate across the room like a football to keep my roommate happy (still have to deal with that unfortunately), and, well, I guess I kind of thought if I had my dream life in the city and a decently-paying job and a girl telling me every day that she loves me and I mean something to her and I’m not just a waste of space that I’d be happy, too, but—

…Frick. No. I can’t. See what I mean? I’m much better off keeping my introspection at bay.

And my little daily overpriced latte helps. Because it’s not just coffee. I am purchasing my sanity.

Somehow.

Even if it does cause me financial ruin in my thirties. But, hey—the way the New Republic is going, I don’t got a lotta hope for the decade ahead anyway!

And—well—I just made a little deal that'll set me up for life.

You’ll see.

So, anyway. Since I’m not meditating, I end up people-watching a lot. And, I end up watching Armitage a lot, because he is by far the most entertaining character of the ensemble. At first I thought he was the store manager, but then I saw him getting yelled at by the manager, so, I think he's just a shift leader or something.

But he wants to be the manager. I can see it in his eyes.

And I can tell this guy is a real psych case—someone clinging onto whatever little power he can grasp between his bony little service-gloved fingers—because he runs the place like a freaking military operation. Like, homie?? You do know you’re working minimum wage for a food service galacticorp, right?

I would soooo hate to work with him—but to give him credit, it’s the most efficient Spacebucks I’ve ever been to. Even at peak business hours. Armie runs a tight ship.

(I call him “Armie” in my head. One day it’s gonna come out of my mouth by accident, and dude’s gonna vault himself over the counter and try to murder me.)

(Well, try to murder me again, I mean. No, wait—I'm getting ahead of myself here—you'll see.)

So, last week, they got my order wrong. I brought it to the counter, and Armitage muttered “absolutely unacceptable” under his breath, and dragged over this poor zit-covered, sleep-deprived, college-kid barista by the scruff of his collar and publicly berated him in front of me and forced him to apologize to me and let me keep the first drink but upsized my new drink for free and remade it himself and forced the poor barista kid to watch him do it, and I’m pretty sure someone should report that as a workplace harassment incident—but it was also funny as hell, and sure made my day.

What I actually ordered was the korranut sweetgourd cold brew. But, I ended up kind of liking the first thing, too, so I came back to the counter to ask what it was. The traumatized barista kid ducked into the back when he saw me coming, so I flagged down Armitage.

“Yo, Armitage. What was in that first order?” I asked.

He blanched—as if he could get any paler. His eyes shifted around, like he was afraid who might hear. “What?” he whispered hoarsely.

I blinked a couple times. Was I insane? “Uhh…what was…in the first order…?”

He seemed to regain some composure, and squinted at me. “How do you know about the first order?” he hissed.

Now I was getting a little freaked out. “I…I tasted it?” I stuttered.

Then things got really weird.

He grabbed me by the wrist and took me behind the counter and pulled me into the back room. It happened so fast—my brain froze up. He was skinny as heck, but his grip was like iron. I could’ve beaten him up if I’d tried, but I was scared stiff. I threw terrified looks at the other baristas. Tried to say “help” with my eyes, but they just ignored me. The manager was nowhere to be seen. Either this was a normal occurrence to them, or they were too scared of Armitage to do anything.

Maybe both.

He pulled me into a storage closet and slammed the door behind us and shoved me back against the wall.

“Dude, what—”

“Who are you?” Armitage hissed. “I knew there was something I didn’t like about you from the start, Ben Quadinaros—if that even is your real name. Who sent you? How long have you been watching me?”

“I—I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I stuttered. I was bigger than him, but I don’t like when grown-ups yell at me—it doesn’t matter that I’m a grown-up now—I still don’t like it.

Armitage wrinkled his nose at me. As if I were literally garbage. (For reference, I am only figuratively garbage.) “What’s your real name, Ben Quadinaros?”

Was there a reason why I shouldn’t give him my real name? I didn’t know. Maybe? I couldn’t really think.

“Ben, uh...Calrissian?” I posed weakly.

He looked me over with a snarling grimace, seeming to feel I had insulted his intelligence. “No…no, I don’t believe that one bit. What is it really?”

The Solo snark won out. “Would you take Jabba the Hutt?” I asked.

He sneered. In an instant his hand flew to his hip, under his green apron, and I realized—OH, KRIFF ME—Armie was armed. It was Armitage Arkanis, in the broom closet, with the blaster. Ben Solo becomes a white outline on the floor. I got that horrible feeling all of a sudden like when you jump into hyperspace on a full stomach.

“Oh frick—geez—oh my Force—I’m—Ben—my name is—Ben Organa Solo!” I blurted, genuinely scared for my life. Because yeah, my life kinda sucks, but it doesn’t suck that bad—not bad enough to lose it to an unhinged ginger who’d smoke me in the back of a Spacebucks for, what—lying about my name?

“Solo,” Armitage said slowly, and his eyes flashed with recognition. “Yes. I knew it. The Alderaanian princess’s son. What do you want from me, then? Information?”

“I-I mean…yeah? I…I just wanted to know what was in the drink,” I choked out. “Please. Don’t kill me.”

Now his expression turned to one of bewilderment. “…The drink?” he repeated.

“Y-yeah," I said. "The order that got messed up. The…the first one.”

The longest thirty seconds of silence ever. My knees were shaking and my heart was pounding in my ears. I felt like I was either gonna throw up or piss myself. I wondered what it felt like to get shot.

And then Armitage blinked a few times and withdrew his hand from his hip and looked around for a second and became the shift leader again and seemed to realize how insane it was that he’d dragged a paying customer into a broom closet and threatened him. He took a clumsy step backward and cleared his throat.

“I…apologize for the misunderstanding,” he muttered weakly. I could sense his weakness.

Oh, I thought. He's not so scary. I could crush his windpipe with one hand. And then I stopped feeling so afraid.

I saw an opening. Stood up a little taller. Squared my shoulders a little.

“Uhh, yeah, you better,” I said. “‘Cause I’m reporting your ass. What the kriff, dude?”

He took another step back, and cast a worried glance behind him.

Oh! So he was scared of me now. I liked that. I liked that sooo much better.

“I mean...hello?" I shouted. "You’re kriffing insane! You can’t freaking do that to people! Who do you think you are? Who’d you think I was?”

“I misunderstood,” Armitage sniffed, but he couldn’t hide his discomfort. “I…I thought you were someone looking to get me in trouble.”

“Yeah, well, now I am,” I said. I took a little step forward, and he took a little step back. I found that really funny for some reason, and if I weren't so fired up I would've laughed at him. “Seriously! You were making threats on my life just because you thought I was like, what, an undercover workplace investigator? From Spacebucks corporate, or sentient resources, or something?”

“Yes,” Armitage agreed hurriedly. “Yes. That is—exactly—precisely—who I thought you were. Quite.”

“Well, you should damn well be investigated,” I huffed. “For Force’s sake! I’m filing a police report.”

“Don’t,” he begged.

“You were gonna pull a blaster on me!”

“I don’t have one. I don’t have one!” He pulled up the lap of his apron and showed me his pockets. And he was right. His legs were so skinny. Like toothpicks, or something. There was no way he had a blaster—not even one of those really little ones.

So, he’d been bluffing. That tracked. I was beginning to understand this guy real kriffin' well—he was scary as kark, until you had him in a corner, and then he just freaking melted.

“Okaaay,” I said. “Pretty sure you can still get in a lot of trouble for threatening me. You don’t want my mom to know about this, buddy. She practically freaks out when I get a hangnail.”

Armitage turned white. Again—as if he could get any whiter. “P-Princess Leia? I mean…the Senator Organa?”

“The one and only.”

Bro dropped to his knees on the dirty-ass closet floor. “Oh, my God. Please. No.” I once again suppressed the urge to laugh at him.

Wow! Wasn’t this amusing. I felt like I could kick him in the face right now, and he’d just sit there and take it.

Something stirred within me. Something toothy and mean and strong that rippled downward through my body and made my hands feel hot. Maybe it was that thing Mom and Uncle Luke were so afraid of. What Snoke had always tried to encourage, before I cut contact with him. What Snoke seemed to still want to stoke inside of me, now that his whispers had begun again to brush up against the perimeters of my mind. That power that had made me believe, for a second, that I could come at my uncle with a lightsaber...

Armie’s bottom lip trembled. Now he looked like he was going to throw up or piss himself. I kept him in suspense for a luxurious fifteen more seconds and wondered if he’d cry. I imagined what it’d feel like to bash this loser’s skull in for thinking he could threaten me.

How many homicidal fantasies is a guy allowed to have before he has to turn himself over to the psych ward? Is twice in one year okay? As a treat?

Asking for a friend.

Anyway. Now that I knew he wasn't armed, I wasn't scared of him anymore. Because if Armitage wasn't armed, then it was just up to whoever had bigger arms, and that was me—but luckily for Armie, we were kind of in an armistice.

Well, I was gonna call the police on him. But then I had the most legendary, freaking hilarious idea ever. A real stroke of genius.

“...Okay, Arkanis,” I said finally. “I’ve got a solution: buy me caf for the rest of my life, and I won’t tell your manager. Or the police. Or my mom.”

Armie’s eyes bugged out. “Buy your caf?” he spluttered. “For life?”

“Yep.” I gave him a little grin and a nod. “What can I say? I’m a college grad in a failing economy, who bought into the lie that my degree would mean something, and now I’m effectively an alcoholic—just with overpriced caf-based beverages instead of booze.”

Armitage blinked slowly, like an ugly little frog, and wet his thin, pale lips.

I shrugged. “I’m a simple man, Armitage. I’m giving you options here. Finance my addiction, and I’ll let this go.”

He slowly rose to his feet. “There is no way I could possibly afford that,” he spat. “You come in here almost every day.”

“Yeah, well. Can you afford me reporting you to the authorities?” I asked. “‘Cause I’ll throw in what an abusive little skrit-head you are to your employees, too. And the time I saw you accidentally sneeze into a drink but serve it anyway.”

If he was any paler, he’d be frickin’ transparent.

“...Fine,” he said. “But—there has to be a credit limit on this. Five credits a day.”

“Five credits doesn’t buy a single damn thing on your menu, and you know it."

“It buys a plain black coffee,” he disagreed haughtily.

“I don’t want a plain black caf, I can make that at home,” I snapped. “And what makes you think you’re in any position to negotiate? I don’t have to hold my tongue. I can call the police right now.”

Armitage opened his mouth and closed it again. Like an ugly little fish. (Basically you could describe him as an ugly little anything and it'd be accurate.)

Well, I already had all the leverage here. But I decided to throw him a bone anyway.

“Look, buddy,” I said softly. “I keep in shape, so I’m not gonna rack up a tab. And when I’m picking up orders for work, they let me do it on the company card. I'll go easy on ya. I swear. So…do we got a deal, or what?”

He was silent for several moments, his eyes kind of glassed over. Then he nodded dumbly.

Oh my Force. He actually went for it.

Ha! Baby’s first blackmail.

“Nice.” I grinned and punched him lightly in the shoulder. He flinched. “So, uh. You mind transferring me some credits for today? And then you can just, like, give me a gift card, or something.”

Again, he nodded, looking like I'd kicked his puppy—or, maybe just like a kicked puppy. For a second, I almost felt bad.

And then I remembered how he'd threatened my life—or tried to make me think that he could—and I thought of Snoke—and I thought of Luke—how my whole life I've always felt like everyone was always trying to control me—and how I'd sworn to never let anyone throw me around ever again—and suddenly, I didn't feel quite so bad anymore.

"Crabapple caramel crunch," Armitage muttered, all of a sudden.

I looked at him. "What?"

He raised his watery eyes to meet mine, the familiar scowl back in place.

"That was the first drink," he said quietly. "The...first order."

[evannhansensletters]

Status; September 6th.

.

.

.

So, like I said previously in my other journal entry from yesterday; my roommate asked me if I wanted to do brunch. If I’m being honest.. he’s kinda a pretty guy— I MEAN PRETTY COOL GUY!! He sorta,, understands me y’know? I was talking about all the things I’ve done the amount of regret I felt and… he really believes I’m a good person.

I’m a good person.

Me, Evan Hansen. A liar, manipulator, asshole, and mentally ill Evan Hansen… is a good person.

…. We’re hanging out tomorrow as well.

[somanyflowerss]

Dating in the broad sense

Journal entry I wrote back in July on defining 'dating' as a general term, reformatted to fit a post format:

Structurally one of the key things I've noticed separates dating from the average friendship is that while friendship tends to be built on trust, dating is often a commitment that the trust will eventually be built. In that sense there's a bit of magic to it, but I think that's also why friendship fallouts can hit as hard or harder than a (shorter term) romantic breakup might - it's a betrayal of the trust directly, as opposed to the commitment falling through. Obviously long term romantic relationships falling through have a comparable weight to them, but the way they're built up feels different.

At this point my definition of dating is just like. "A mutually committed relationship where the primary descriptor of every party within denotes this relationship in particular." People are friends with their partners, but in descriptions it's always 'partner' (or term of choice). It's denoted under a different category. This is probably pretty obvious when stated but I wanted to compare it to how standard friendships are viewed. Friendships may have more concrete definitions about how they're described between the person, but it's more rare for the person who's friends to have a different term described to them, unlike in dating/a more structured relationship

Similar to how you don't have to have empathy to be compassionate, you don't have to experience a certain type of attraction to be dating either. I think I see dating, structurally, sorta feels more action focused than feeling focused? I don't think it's impossible for an aro and alloro person to date each other and be happy I think it'll just look different from what other people might expect. Or maybe it won't. It's fine either way. Conversely there are plenty of cases where the attraction IS mutually reciprocated and the people aren't dating

This definition of dating probably catches within it a subset of QPRs (not all of them). But I guess that's because I'm more concerned about structure than specific feelings with this definition. Because that's what makes most sense to me to focus on and the best way to conceptualize them within my life.

I hope all this made sense! Most of this info probably seems obvious laid out but it was something I wanted to dissect a bit. This is my first long-form post so if there are better ways to format it let me know (Also if anyone has any thoughts (positive/negative/otherwise) I'd love to here them too)

[pastcontactnumber]

[Journal entry 1]

Hi. So I wasted my money on this cheap ass journal, but my guidance counselor told me that I haaaaaaaave to get one in order to "write down my feelings". Pfffff like that's going to help me any, since I got no one to really look to since most people are already tired of my ass by now.

Anyways today was fine, I guess. Reported on Maxwell to the cops about him selling weed on school property. Now, his flat ass is out for my blood. He told me that he'll shove his fist up my ass. Bitch that's gay. Anyways it's not like I'm actually scared of him. Just tired. I can take him in a fight.

I'm not a coward. Even though my rival said I was. Sorta disappointed that he's been a ass as well lately. I mean yeah sure he's my rival, but he doesn't have to be a dick about it. But whatever. He doesn't want me, so why even bother. Next time, I'll just steal his homework. I don't think I can survive math class without him.

Anyways I don't know how to end this girly thing. Soooo here a chore list.

Chores: Finish homework, clean room, stop by pharmacy for sister's meds, and do dishes tonight.

@xavier-thebest

[tired-stressed-trying-my-best]

so a little while ago I started keeping a journal, and my only rule is that I have to write something every day. it can be a full paragraph describing everything that happened or a single sentence fragment about what I had for dinner, as long as I write something.

and one of the great things about keeping a journal is that if you go through and read it like it was written by someone else, it can give you a slightly more objective view on how well (or not well) you're doing.

and one of the terrible things about keeping a journal is that it forces you to confront how well (or not well) you're doing.

because I went and looked back at my journal entries for the past few weeks, and.

uh.

it's kinda sorta deeply concerning, actually.

[asktheevilgeniusesson]

⭐️, ☎, 🎼, 📖 All of these for Mephline ( @fragmented-deity )

M gonna assume ya mean mephiles n starline but if im wrong then oh boi (im so mentally out of it after socializing for three hours lmao)

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING HEADCANNONS

Status: accepting!

Send ⭐️ (or multiple) for a headcanon about our muses.

Starline actively believes he’s got scary dog privileges around innerste/mephiles, he is prone to start screeching the deitys name when hes in hot shit and will fully believe the other will step in to save him. He isnt one to boast about it, no not at all, he isnt taking this for granted. But hes veeery cheeky about it when hes in danger. Sort of “oh i cant kill you, but the deity of the darkness can! Say hi mephy!, :3” sorta shit.

Send ☎ for your muse’s info in my muses phone (name, ringtone, picture, last text received/sent).

Name saved: Nightlight (literal fucking deity)

Ringtone: The loud ass noise of nighttime crickets

Picture:

Last text sent: “So hear me out, how does one obtain the power to timetravel…. Asking for a friend…..”

Send 🎼 for a song that reminds me of our muses. https://open.spotify.com/track/6A2itXgDf96XHp9qR6oyPN?si=H_hn8hsjRTiZUFevAqq_5g

Send 📖 for my muse to read out an entry in their journal/diary about yours.

‘JOURNAL DIARY. ENTRY (it seems the numbers are scribbled out.. alot of pages in his personal journal have the same scribbled numbers. Seems he lost memory and track of how many pages hes written.)

Im not quite sure how, or why, a deity has chosen someone such as myself to favor, I’m no saint nor am i special with my own power, besides my own intelligence, ofcourse. However, this is.. rather interesting. Time has grown more intriguing as a concept and not to mention my fear of the darkness has started to wither. I wonder.. if this is the cause of the deity himself? Or my understanding that the one who controls such things smiles upon me now. Its all things ill be able to figure out slowly on my own. I’m sure of it. Perhaps theres more than meets the eye to this.. how exciting this will be. Either i’ll learn so much more about a god lost to memory.. or i’ll regret everything like i regretted working with eggman. I cannot believe i even thought of sleeping with— fuck. Getting off track.

I’ll be leaving this here now. I will return to this journal once i have gathered atleast something worthwhile to remember.. perhaps ill make a book one day so that solaris is not to be forgotten.. i wonder if he like that. Hm.

END OF ENTRY LOG.’

[marvelsfavoriteuncle]

Dear Journal… 📝

I just had to accidentally witness flashbacks today.

I was having an odd morning like i always do. Tired, i had a hangover from the night before and decided to at least get some stuff done.

Going to the bedroom, i fix my bed, organize the area around the tv and throw away any used napkins and water bottles. And as i do, i change into a gray shirt, black sweatpants and slippers—i ain’t going anywhere!

Of course, i get some calls done too. I’m calling Sharon, chatting with my niece as i should then i hear noises in the hallway.

I am confused and concerned, concerned that someone locked another person in a closet. Since Tony has done with his siblings, Sharon has done, my own FREAKING sister done it to me before—EVEN REI has done to his siblings.

So ofc i am mad, concerned and worried that the poor person is stuck as i hear banging, noises and whatnot.

But has ai jingle open the doorknob, and unlock..guess who i find? Not a kid or teen—BUT BRUCE AND NATASHA MAKING OUT!

MY POOR EYES!

I got flashbacks to finding my sister and Peggy making out in a closet years ago! Hell I got flashbacks to Howard and Maria too!! So many things were running through my mind like: How long has this been going on? When? Have they told anybody? And why it is always me to has to find out this crap?!

Haven’t I suffered enough that I had to see it a 3rd time?!

Anyways once I got over it (not really cuz Black Widow was kissing The Hulk—huh? Guess badass ladies have things for smart brunettes) they talked a bit about things, not exactly clear onto their respective relationship, not wanting it on SHIELD record or anything. Like uh okay, SHIELD doesn’t know shit about this! 

Blah blah blah we sorta talked (not really, but I don’t really mind, they had their hands all over each other anyways) something’s accidentally occurred to me that it’s the weekend, theses two seriously need a date night or a short weekend away from the chaos to figure things out between them…so I may or may not offered them one of my houses.

I rarely do that anymore but as long as I don’t find them in a supply closet making out I’m good. As long as my house isn’t flooded, destroyed or burned, hell or any property damage—it’s find by me.

I never get a chance to actually enjoy a relationship or a break from children..so I guess they deserved a chance for both!

I thought Bruce had a crush on Thor!? What happened to that!?

I felt like I was 3rd wheeling in front of them or a parent who just caught their kid making out together on the couch. It was weird but I guess they make a good couple.

It’s kinda cute. Pretty much still in shock and surprised by it all.

Honestly it made me forgot for it felt to be in love and enjoy life despite all the things in our lives. Huh? I guess when you loved and lost a lot of loved ones, you forgot how it is to feel about having a relationship.

So it feel awkward and uncomfortable and closed off. You just don’t know how to handle things or date again. It’s just weird. Maybe I might start dating again? Any thoughts?

Anyways I’m rambling too long. Bye.

—-

——-+—

Hope u like this entry! Should Jason start dating again?

Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel l @gcthvile @rickb-chaos @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @cherrysft @luna-d-marsh @ask-starrk



[lightandfellowship]

Of course while replaying DDD all I could think about was what Dream Eaters the KHDR cast would use. Here are my choices after much deliberation. (Note: images don't reflect the Dream Eaters' actual sizes. Also, Baldr will be included in a different post).

If you're curious, here's my reasoning under the read more:

Xehanort

Yoggy Ram (primary): The fur on its chin resembles Xehanort's beard. Xehanort is also associated with ram/goat imagery, which can be seen on his inherited Keyblade "No Name" and on his armor in KH3.

Komory Bat (secondary): It's a Dark-type Dream Eater, and serves as a parallel to Riku. It also has access to Sleep magic, which can reference Xehanort's goal of plunging Sora into a deep sleep in DDD.

Eraqus

Jestabocky (primary): It's a jester-themed Dream Eater, and Eraqus is the class clown of his friend group. One of its disposition types is called "Chicken" too, which could reference the recurring gag about Eraqus running away from dangerous situations (even if he never really does that). This Dream Eater does use Dark-element attacks, but I like to think of this as being indicative of how Eraqus is capable of having darkness in his heart but fails to see that.

Meow Wow (secondary): It's a Physical/Light-type Dream Eater, which fits great with both Eraqus' affiliation with Light and his "Attack Boost" fighting style in KHDR. Like Xehanort with Komory Bat, this also serves as a parallel to Sora.

Vor

Majik Lapin (primary): This Dream Eater was practically made for her. Magician-themed, specializes in magic, has similiar "clothing" and color palette to Vor, and even has an animation where it throws a tantrum and slams its ears into the ground repeatedly, which mimics a "tantrum" Vor has if you take her with you in Episode 3. Moreover, despite its focus on magic, it still utilizes physical attacks, which matches how Vor is not just magically-inclined but also physically strong.

Kab Kannon (secondary): I wanted to give her a large, Physical-type Dream Eater as well to better reflect her strength, and this Dream Eater's design is based on a Hercules beetle, which as the name suggests is capable of lifting things a lot bigger/heavier than it. In my mind I was also connecting the imagery of a beetle pushing around a large round object (like the Elden Ring scarab beetles) and Vor lifting up that boulder.

Bragi

Iceguin Ace (primary): The puffy shape around its neck kind of resembles the white fur trim on Bragi's jacket. Its journal entry describes it as a "chill customer", which I think fits Bragi's laid-back personality. It has access to Protect and Shell magic, matching Bragi's "Protect" fighting-style. Its pilot aesthetic can be a subtle nod to how Bragi is just Luxu "piloting" a vessel. And once again it also can use Sleep magic, which can reference Xigbar's involvement with plunging Sora into a deep sleep in DDD.

Toximander (secondary): Okay, I know this is a bit of a stretch, but I really struggled to settle on a second Dream Eater for Bragi. This Dream Eater is based on a salamander, but design-wise its the only Dream Eater that could maybe-sorta resemble a chameleon. The idea being that Luxu is, of course, using his Bragi identity to "blend in". The journal entry for this guy says "These easygoing Dream Eaters still know how to play hardball." which fits how Luxu and his many identities tend to have a relaxed personality but are secretly quite powerful. This Dream Eater is also a Dark-type, which, while we can argue about Luxu's true motivations, he certainly isn't above siding with dark forces for the sake of his grander goals.

Urd

Necho Cat (primary): Plain and simple, Urd's smile looks like a cat face, she needs a cat Dream Eater to match. It also uses magic attacks, which is a plus since Urd is magic-focused.

Tatsu Steed (secondary): Urd is associated with Blizzard/Water magic, and this Dream Eater uses both in its attacks, along with offering Blizzard and magic-based abilities on its ability link board. I also feel like the shape of its "ear" fins resemble Urd's bangs and ponytail.

Hermod

Halbird (primary): I originally wanted to give him a Peepsta Hoo (owl Dream Eater) since I think aesthetically/symbolically it fits him better, but I decided to give that Dream Eater to Vala instead for reasons I'll explain later. In any case, I wanted to give Hermod a bird-based Dream Eater to reference how the mythological Hermod is a messenger. This Dream Eater is also a Physical/Light-type, which fits Hermod's "Attack" fighting style.

Zolephant (secondary): Hermod's bio says this: "He may seem like a soft-spoken and gentle model student, but when angered, watch out!" This made me want to pick one of the Dream Eaters that have an "enraged" mode where they turn red and go wild. Zolephant seemed like a good pick because its description actually resembles Hermod's: "Enemies who enrage this epic elephant had better take cover!" and it can give off a "gentle giant"-like appearance to match Hermod's soft-spoken and gentle demeanor. This wasn't intentional, but I also like how both Halbird and Zolephant have green and yellow in their color schemes to match Hermod.

Originally I was going to include which "dispositions" I wanted for each Dream Eater as well, but this post is already long enough as it is; maybe I'll add them later in a reblog. In any case, I will also have an upperclassmen + Baldr version of this post in the near future.

[fawnl3t]

i went through your journal entries and you sounded way younger than your actual age. not saying its a bad thing im an autist myself and occasionally will act out in a childish manner . its hard to contain myself/stop stimming at times does it happen to you too?

I understand ! Mutiple different classmates in the past have actually brought this up to me in the past , the acting or being more childish/childlike than what is expected of a teenager ( I hope that makes sense) & I've even had a classmate assume that the age regression account by somebody in town was mine or that I atleast age regressed (I don't lol but I sorta get why somebody would assume?) So I get that your observation wasn't said with malice. Even before being a teenager, I still acted in manners, not usual or more childish than a tween, like I still needed help with baths/showers until I was like around 8-10, which I don't think is typical for 8-10 year olds. Anyways, sorry for rambling so much 🙇🏻‍♂️

Onto answer your question ! I can absolutely relate!!!! This does happen to me too ! It is hard to stop stimming for me sometimes and to control my emotions or try to contain excitement or frustration. I typically full body stim everyday & I won't stop even when my body hurts a bunch. I've done upper body stimming too and I've heard things like "pop" before from how long and how I was stimming !

I hope this helped! I actually liked ranting & answering this ask 👨🏻‍💻🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸

[cowardlybean]

Hi this is MalkyTop from ao3 I know I just wrote a long-ass comment on recollections and I sorta feel weird adding more to it there so I’m sending an ask instead, because! I am shaking the bars of my cell anyways since now im convinced that the stuff with reigen is heavily connected to Mogami I wonder if mogami’s “return” (chapter 2) is related to a certain evil spirit showing up at the office? After all they have previous history and dimple had just shown up. Anyways I am gnawing on this I love puzzling things out I want to get a good grade in recollections.

HELLO FIRST OFF I JUST WANNA SAY TYSM FOR BEING INTERESTED IN MY STORY!!!!! IT MAKES ME SO MUCH MORE EXCITED TO KEEP WORKING ON IT!!!!!!!!!

Mogami definitely plays a role in this story (if it wasn’t already obvious) though most of that role is gonna be shown in the next section! Not just through Reigen’s journaling either :3 I will say though! The author of the secret link is a canon character from Mob Psycho, so keep that in mind >:3c

APART FROM THAT I cant say much for the sake of not spoiling but about the plant spirit from S2 EP1 this is so embarrassing to admit but I did. Kinda rush that entry </3 To Reigen it was hardly any special exorcism apart from Mob learning something new, but to my readers the broccoli seeds are what is important! IM HEAVILY RESTRAINING FROM GIVING A HINT HERE ACK

but anyway thank you so much for theorizing and having fun with my fic!!! It makes it so much more fun to write :D

Read Recollection Here!

[chroniclesinlavender]

ENTRY 001: Dreams (Part 1)

Isaiah has an alarming dream.

Transcript below:

[Avlin nłzēwok'un nar īdsēravn aryú pi-lizt'n. Má ēzyi'ōf fl cni-lizt'n. (These are the stories known only to the Seraphim. Let not these events be forgotten.)]

???: [strained] Have to... keep it... together... can't stop... need to s-stay... need to foc... focus... have to keep it togETHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!

ISAIAH: ...and then everything fades away, and I wake up.

[Chronicles in Lavender. Art & Story by Koishi. ENTRY 001: Dreams (Part 1)]

[December 12, 2019. 3:40 PM]

ISAIAH: My heart's always pounding out of my chest, and I can't sleep for the rest of the night. Every single time, it always goes exactly the same. The same place, the same people... and it never feels like I have any control, or I'm really acting on anything. I'm sorta just... watching it happen, I guess.

DR. GARDNER: Do you feel like the date in which you have the dreams could be significant?

ISAIAH: I dunno, your guess is as good as mine. I just happens every month on the full moon. I don't know why or how, it just does. It's been so consistent that I can anticipate it coming. Sometimes, I would stay up all night from the anxiety, then the minute I fall asleep, they happen anyways. I've always had vivid dreams. They feel so real, and I can control them too. Like, like lucid dreaming. But when these dreams happen, I just feel... powerless. Got a pill I can take for that?

DR. GARDNER: I could, but stepping away from medication, I think this might be related to another significant topic we've yet to come back to? Specifically the topic of Tara? And I know it's uncomfortable, but I think at least addressing it may give a better understanding of these recurring nightmares. I think a lot of the themes you've described to me in your dreams; the lack of control, the sense of urgency, the need to "keep it all together", could all be tied to your trauma regarding your sister's disappearance. A way for your brain to process through the guilt you feel and the grief you're experiencing. Does that sound about right?

ISAIAH: [shrugs]

DR. GARDNER: It's hard, having to go through that. It feels impossible to carry that weight on you all of the time, but it's important to remind yourself that Tara's disappearance is not your fault. It may seem selfish, but some things are out of our control. So it's better to grieve and find a way to move forward. At the end of the day, your own mental health is something that you have to put first, or things like this will keep affecting you. Of course, we can move on if you'd like. How have your exercises been going?

ISAIAH: Oh... uh... I've been trying, and I've been goin outside more, too.

DR. GARDNER: That's good to hear! Tell me more about how that's been working for you.

ISAIAH: [in journal] Log date: 12/19/2019. 4:28 PM. I've just concluded my therapy session for this week. We talked about the usual stuff, depression and meds and self-affirmation. I brought up the dreams, but that ended up leading back to Tara. It's been four years since she disappeared. I've been trying not to think about it. It's jut too much right now. I though by now I'd at least be better about it. That I wouldn't feel so awful. I guess I don't, but I just feel nothing instead. I dunno if that's better or worse. Rather not dwell on all of that now. Either way, I'm hoping that this night'll be over soon. I hate these stupid dreams, it's like a puzzle and I'm missing a billion pieces to it. If I go to bed early, I can at least get the dreams out of the way. Or I'm hoping to. Not much to hope for as of late.

[some time later]

ISAIAH: Yo LiLi.

AMALIAH: Yoooo Isaiah, me and Andre gonna be stayin out for the night. We're hangin w/ some friends.

ISAIAH: Yeah sure, aight. How come you didn't text?

AMALIAH: Cuz I'm drivin? fuck you mean?? And you take, like, hours to text back.

ISAIAH: Yeah yeah nah, good point... Okay, I'll text if I need somethin-

AMALIAH: Whoa hold up, you good cuz? You sound like shit. Still gettin them weird dreams? I know it's a full moon tonight.

ISAIAH: yeah, but I also had therapy today, so I'm like, emotionally-drained.

AMALIAH: Goootcha gotcha. Well if you need me, just text. Aight I gotta watch the road. See you in the mornin, kay?

ISAIAH: Night, LiLi.

ISAIAH: Is anything going to be different? Anything at all? I thought bringing it up at therapy would shed some light on why I keep having these dreams, but of course it all goes back to Tara. I thought I would be fine by now. That I'd find a way to not let what happened mess me up. But I'm still here. Everything around me keeps going, but I'm still here. Still empty... why does it even matter? Maybe this is just it for me... just emptiness and guilt... walking through a haze as life passes me by. I'm so sick of it being this way. I just want something to change... I just want to change.

BUTTERFLY: Why Do You Chase After Me?

ISAIAH: I don't know. I can't remember anymore I've just been... running for so long... Why were you running?

BUTTERFLY: I Was Running From Something As Well, Something Too Hard For Me To Bear. But I Feel As If You Can Help Me Face It.

ISAIAH: How would someone like me be able to help? I'm empty...

BUTTERFLY: You Are Not Empty. You Are An Endless Multitude. And If You Help Me, I Promise To You What You Yearn For The Most.

ISAIAH: ...okay. I can do that.

BUTTERFLY: Then It Is Time For You To Wake Up, Isaiah.

ISAIAH: Something... changed.

[Ēzm̄fl īn-hōn pi-jalzègxa olsl... (To be continued in the next entry...)]