#just that whole ''this is why it's hard to love you'' scene also makes me laugh SOSOSO MUCH
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ineed-to-sleep · 2 months ago
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I forgot about how killing eve's writing just starts getting progressively worse the more season 3 goes on. Like girl what happened to my show.......... my characters......... what did they DO to villanelle...................... and where is EVE
#eve is gone for like half the season#and villanelle has suddenly developed empathy and started caring about killing...........#like listen ok I get not wanting to kill anymore. especially after she killed her mother#but it doesn't justify her personality doing a complete 180 like that??#like suddenly she cares when she kills people. suddenly she's not being manipulative with eve anymore#like. I could buy into a character arc like that if it made sense and didn't come out of nowhere. but it came out of NOWHERE#it's like the writer suddenly decided she was gonna make villanelle a better person#but didn't really put that much effort into setting that change up#everything that happens as season 3 goes on only really works if you don't think too much about it#and it's like the closer you get to the end the more they're asking you to suspend your disbelief#which got rlly hard for me on that last episode tbh. as much as I think the scene on the bridge is cute#all I could think about was 'villanelle feels so off. I don't think she'd act like this at all in previous seasons'#and the change just doesn't feel earned#maybe it could make sense but you have to really dig to try to find reasons why. the show sure doesn't give you many on-screen#just like it doesn't give many answers on-screen to anything at all LMAO RIGHT ON EP1#we never learn who found eve at rome and how#we never learn much of anything about how she got where she is#we never see the main couple TALK about what happened in rome. but they're suddenly cool with it after 1 fight on the bus#AND I LOVE THE BUS KISS it's probably the best scene out of the whole season#but god I wish it wasn't the only moment where we see them hashing things out#and then on ep1 there's kenny's death being used as a plot device......#and then the investigation of his murder also being 1 huge plot device#which kinda goes nowhere besides getting mentioned here and there and at the end being like#'oh! konstatin killed kenny!! do you guys remember that this whole season started off being about kenny?? remember that you guys???'#like. bold thing to do when 90% of the season wasn't about any of that#it just felt so disjointed :/ I was so sad on this rewatch bc I loved s1&2 so much............. and I forgot how bad it got after#and I know s4 is about to get worse........ oh boy#I'm almost considering not rewatching it tbh#killing eve#sleep.txt
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wutheringmights · 2 months ago
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I won’t lie gang this chapter is killing me
#my problem is that I told myself that I would write everything with link and proxi first so that I didn’t half ass their moments again#BUT! I am having so much trouble writing them that my motivation tanked and I’ve been stuck for like 2 weeks now#and frankly I really do just want to write the spirit stuff#and yeah. that’s the answer isn’t it. put down the link and proxi scenes and just start the spirit stuff now#get the juices flowing again and maybe go insane with the boys#me rambling#lu ctb#so I decided to take a week to chill before starting my job hunt and I hoped that would mean I could go crazy with my writing#but I’m just. not burn out or crashing out. but a secret third thing. something that just makes it really hard for me to want to write#tbh I have a massive fear of change which is why I stuck with that job for so long when it made me so unhappy#so now that I’m being forced into a change some part of me needs to lock down somehow#I think I deserve a crash out. I should be crashing out right now#overall I have been SO MATURE about this whole thing and no one appreciates that but me#I want to take everyone by the shoulders and be like ‘look at me!!! I’m not in a depressive episode!!! I haven’t had a giant crying session#!!!!’ I am reacting like a reasonable human being which is something I have never done before#also I love rubber ducking my problems in the tags. my original post was so self pitying and I sat there like ‘ew Frankie this is not the#person you want to be’ and so I started typing out what my problem with ctb was and bam. got my answer#adjusting post accordingly
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pineappical · 2 years ago
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ohh yeah! i definitely am not shipping ted/trent “just because,” i ship them because it feels very compelling to me and i got the brainworms for them before season 3
in s1 and 2 alone, just the implications of trent being known for obliterating ppl on paper and rebecca essentially letting him loose on ted for that reason… all for trent to suddenly write the nicest article in probably,, ever?? her frustration reaction in her call with higgins is definitely underrated
AND THEN. ted’s relationship with the press room and how trent easily gets acclimated to his ways and he still doesn’t hold back the hard questions but he doesn’t do it to hurt him anymore, he enjoys the little nicknames ted gives him and even does. the fuckin. pompoms *\o/*
trent was lichhhrally the first person in richmond to fall for the lasso effect, and on paper you’d think he’d be the last!
and that’s not even getting me started on trent’s massive life change in s2 which was only fueled by ted, but i could honestly go all day and maybe i shouldn’t lol
anyway, i’m normal about them :)
EXACTLYYY EXACTLY EXACTLY!!!!!!! Trent Crimm, a journalist known for being brutal when it comes to writing articles, was baffled and turned upside down just because Ted is just a nice and honest man to him and it makes me giggle and kick my feet sooo much...
i think about that scene in 1x03 alot with the, "It ain't always easy, Trent, but neither is growing up without someone believing in you." i know so much that, that line struck with Trent heavily because of his own issues with his relationship with work, with his own father wanting him to be more stern and an actual football player, etc. and he immediately realized that oh god. this is an honest man that i don't want to ruin because he can change or break everything around richmond just because of how weirdly optimistic he is, and then proceeds to run outta that restaurant to contemplate his whole life LMAO
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creature-once-removed · 2 years ago
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#once in english class we watched A Study in Pink and had to take notes on the filmmaking details we noticed#I think about that specific day pretty often because I so suddenly discovered I had so much fun noticing all of this stuff#and there was a lot to notice#minute details where you can't be sure if they're there or if the curtains are just blue#like light and dark in a frame foreshadowing the morality of people in that position in the next frame and the like#stuff where you can't tell if it's intentional but even if it's not it's still doing something#and that so quickly and clearly nailed it for me what I myself like in visual storytelling in films and would love to do myself someday#and come to think of it that's exactly why Lucky Number Slevin is my favorite movie#(one of the reasons)#because it's on a whole different level#it's chock full of details that on the surface are just pretty#then below that they have a pretty solid function that's not too hard to make out#and then below that there's a fucking world of 'look what this is also doing' that makes my heart race when I spot a new one#there's load bearing convoluted wallpaper for fucks sake. And that's by far the most obvious#I still notice new stuff about this movie that leaves me sitting there like 'shit that's so smart'#not in a 'this is genius' way most of the time but a very solid#'yeah this was a good choice;#you could have easily done it differently but this way you sidestepped the hint of a vibe based problem three scenes down the line'#and I freaking LOVE that#anyway I just found out. same fucking director.#somehow... this keeps happening#yes I'm currently watching it again. fourth or fifth time this month I don't remember exactly
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youremyonlyhope · 27 days ago
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I've recently realized that Orange Juice by Noah Kahan needs to be added to the very short list of songs that make me want to sob just hearing it.
The only other ones on that list are Picture In A Frame by Tom Waits and Let Her Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish.
#like. i've heard orange juice many times over the last few months or maybe even year#whenever it was that pandora started having him pop up on my hozier radio more consistently#and i think the first couple times i heard it i didn't pay attention#then one day like a month or so ago during the final verse i was like 'orange juice in the kitchen... just glad you could visit...#wait is... he said sober earlier right... hold on... wait...' and i was like that cartoon cat trying not to cry meme (I think it's a cat)#except it was about 4am and i was truly barely paying attention but still managed to catch the meaning and feel sad.#then the next time the song came on pandora i actually listened properly and i was like 'oh. GOD. oh i'm in pain. i'm. hurting.'#and honestly this week i finally listened to the entire stick season album and though i like other songs on the album too#orange juice really is sticking out and hitting me hard. like. actual physical pain. i can't stop listening. but it hurts. so much.#About the other songs on my cry list. Let Her Cry is a song my mom refers to not with words but with mime:#*pretends to slit wrists. holds out arms. sob screams.* literally that's what she does every time she mentions that song.#and the song itself is a very similar sentiment to orange juice in that the singer is talking about a loved one with an addiction#and it just wrecks me in the same way. i can't even relate and it still hurts.#and then as for Picture in a Frame i cannot even explain why it makes me cry it just does. such a simple song. and yet. so sad.#i blame Bunheads. because the use of that song in the second episode of Bunheads was so emotional.#it took until like my billionth (probably 5th) rewatch of Bunheads for it to finally HIT me but that time i was like#'...why am i emotional... i've seen this so many times... why am i so sad... oh god... oh my god...' and then full body sobbing.#also a year-ish later my brother was watching a movie that used that song at the end when it reveals the big plot twist#and i hadn't watched the movie but i had seen a scene during the middle and said 'that makes no sense' and went to take a shower#then when i came back and watched the last 20 or so minutes and realized that i had clocked it not making sense for good reason#because it had to do with the big reveal and my brother who watched the whole movie didn't even see it coming#but me just seeing one scene out of context i kind of predicted what was wrong. but i couldn't even be happy i predicted it right#because those last 5 minutes the way they reveal it and play Picture in A Frame was DEVASTATING.#i cried over a movie i didn't even watch. i saw one scene in the middle. and the last 20 minutes. and SOBBED. BECAUSE OF THAT SONG. AGAIN.#(this was also late 2020 so i was in the middle of my slow mental breakdown that would only get worse)#(so i was already very emotionally fragile. i cried over movies all the time in that era. but never over a movie i didn't even WATCH.)#and i once passed a busker on the street singing Picture in a Frame and i was like 'oh i want to stop and listen but i will cry in public'#so i think i tossed them a dollar and basically ran away. i cannot listen to that song. i will cry. uncontrollably.#so yeah. Picture In A Frame. Let Her Cry. and now Orange Juice. those songs make me want to drown in tears.
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caotictimmy · 9 months ago
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🍏- ANON? MAYBE??? it's so late for me but reading your nsfw on Daisuke...UAAAGHHH SAAGHHH 🗣️ he's such a vocal man and the whole morning sex thing where he can't get into you quick enough .helpop helppp meeeee helpppp
(maybe this is a request? Maybe I'm just yapping lowkey??? But if you want to write on this, by all means go for it LMAO)
Giggling over Swansea being mortified while walking in on reader x daisuke getting it on, I imagine they don't notice him and Daisuke is getting all needy trying to keep his pace 🤞 That boy has never felt the touch of person romantically so I could onllllyyyy assume that he'd been sensitive his first time. Or like. Every time with reader- especially if they're still on the ship. He's trying to not make too much noise as everyone is asleep ☹️ his whiney ass is NOT making it through that night. Bonus if reader is nonchalant about it the next day at lunch. They're talking with someone about their poor love lives (finding people to stay with how long their jobs shipments are)- reader dropping shit like 'aw man yeah. if only there was someone to really understand me, y'know?'. As if Daisuke wasn't memorizing their insides and how they physically react to him with his body just last night 😭
HELP 🍏 ANON THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ALMOST FELL OFF MY BED. But this is Acually so smart. I always believe Daisuke gets lost in the sauce when you guys have sex. For the headcanon I was thinking they were known dating. But for this let’s pretend the crew doesn’t know Daisuke and reader are dating. The first kind middle part will be NSFW. But the rest should be NSFW. This will be done as a one shot. (I’ll also include your little bonus! Plus a little more:3)
What was that god damn noise..? Swansea thought. Irradiated as he heard a squeaking sound, an indescribable muffled sound coming along with it. For fucks sake he just wanted to get some rest! But those loud noises would not let the poor man drift to sleep. He was gonna put a stop to that noise. Once and for all.
Swansea swings his legs over the side of his bed, sitting up. Stretching his arms as he gets ready to investigate what the noise is, and where it’s coming from. He stands up, his back making a loud crack.( I love old man Swansea). He slips his slippers on. Grabbing and putting on his robe by the door. Slowly pushing the door open. Before silently shutting the door. The noise got louder. Even though the walls were paper thin. It still muffled some of the noise.
He tread carefully through the halls. Getting closer to the noise. Swansea could hear talking maybe? The squeaking of something getting louder the more he approaches. Wait. He’s getting closer to Daisuke’s room..? What the hell was that kid doing. He could hear a faint panting? He started walking a bit faster.
Daisuke’s door was cracked open. God was the kid hurt-. Oh… Oh dear god.. For the love of pony express why did he have to be the one to catch this scene. He could now clearly see what was happening now. God why him..? (Warning for what’s ahead will be NSFW)
“Nyyhhh… F-fuck you feel so good. G-god so good. Am I doing good? Mhm!.. a-am I doing good for you. Wanna make sure your feeling as ..ahh ~… as good as I am.” Daisuke whimpered out. His arms wrapped around your waist as he continues going his rough pace.
“Yes! O-oh fuck hah… doing so good for me!”, Your voice muffled as you were face first in your pillow. Daisuke’s body pressing against your back. Like he was trying to mold his body with you. A loud ‘plap’ sound being able to be heard.
Swansea felt his face contort in horror. He could feel his stomach twist in disgust. He definitely walked in on something he definitely shouldn’t have. So what did he do. He went back to his room. Staring at the ceiling with that petrified face still stuck on his face. To say he wasn’t able to sleep that night would be an understatement
-
“I feel like it’s impossible to date anyone with this crappy job.” Anya huffed in a frustrated tone. “I second to that.”, Curly sighed as he ate his crappy lunch.” Our shipments at a Minimum are 5 months! And it’s like we get a month or two back on earth, before they send us back to ship something!” Anya finished. The annoyed look on her face quite prominent.
“I get you Anya. I want to Acually spend time with someone and let them get to know me. But you can’t really do that on this floating rock.”, You said nonchalantly. You sure were letting Daisuke get to know you. All of you… Swansea thought. Trying not to gag at the imagie of what he witnessed last night.
You could feel Daisuke’s eyes turn to you. Lingering a bit longer than ‘just friends’. “Yeah man, it’s such a bummer!” Daisuke said. A light blush spread across his face as he said it. No one else except Swansea noticed.
“Say uh..” Anya started, looking up at you. “I saw you walking in here with a limp, you good?” She asked,her voice laced with concern. God why did you have to ask that Anya! Swansea cringed at her question. “Oh yea no I’m good! Just hit my leg on the wall while sleeping y’know.” You said. Hmh.. I’m sure you were doing some sort of sleeping. Swansea hurrying to finish his food. Quickly getting up to put his plate in the sink and immediately start work. He really just wants to take his mind off this..
-
“Swan-sea!” Daisuke said, dragging the two parts of Swansea’s name out. Swansea ignored Daisuke, continuing to work on the broken vent. “Dude did I do something wrong?” Swansea sighed. Since Daisuke wanted the truth he’ll get it.”For fucks sake Daisuke! Can you have them stop fucking like rabbits! I know you young people have your urges, but this has been going on for the past week. And it’s Saturday for crying out loud!” Swansea yelled.
“AND IF YOU FREAKS ARE GONNA KEEP GOING AT IT. AT LEAST KEEP THE DOOR SHUT AND BE QUIET. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.” Swansea finished, catching his breath. Daisuke just stood there stunned.
“You.. you heard us..?” Daisuke asked, his mouth agape and his eyes shot wide. “I didn’t just hear you guys. Saw it to! Close the damn door next time!” Swansea said irritated. Daisuke continued to stand there embarrassed. “Swansea uh.. I-I’m so sorry I didn’t realize.” Daisuke stuttered out. Still shocked about the revelation.
“Yeah you better be fucking sorry” Swansea muttered. Turning around before pausing. Sighing a bit. “At lest your getting some action in this hell hole. Reminds me of me and my wife.” He said. Before holding his fist out. “I’m only gonna do this once Daisuke.” Swansea said. Daisuke happily returned the fist bump.
“Now get the hell out of my sight for the rest of the day!” Swansea yelled. “Alright swan-sea!” Daisuke said, doing the same long period name thing. Swansea let out an annoyed sigh. At least the kid was happy…
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drchucktingle · 2 years ago
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION TELLS CHUCK TINGLE TO STAY HOME BUT WE PROVE LOVE ANYWAY
just when you buckaroos thought 2024 would be a break from book drama, here comes chuck tingle in the mix. recently i was asked to be a featured speaker at the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION annual conference. a few days ago they rescinded my invitation. here is what happened.
(EDITED TO ADD THIS LINK. if you have a hard time reading this on way of tumblr you can also read for free on chucks patreon)
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i would like to start off by saying it is not my intent to start a fight, and all those reading this should know that the actions of a few misguided folks do not speak for the whole TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION. i am sure there are many involved who will be very upset to learn what others at TLA have done in their name. there are many individuals here, so please do not paint them all as villains in your mind. besides, chuck loves the dang library everyone knows that.
the point of writing this is not to vilify. i am writing this is because MOMENTS OF DARKNESS are the best places to SHINE A LIGHT AND PROVE LOVE IS REAL. this is a perfect time for learning and growing and for us talk on some very important things that queer buckaroos and neurodivergent buckaroos face every day. this is an unfortunate moment that WE can turn around and use to prove love is real.
i am also writing this to understand some of my own personal feelings on the matter. for something that seems very simple on the surface, the trot is complex, and i am still working out my emotions on the whole dang thing. i am learning in this way.
PART ONE: BAG OF LOVE
a few months ago chuck was asked to be a featured speaker at the 2024 TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION ANNUAL CONFERENCE. i have been asked to do things like the before and it is ALWAYS a fun time to meet bookseller and librarian buds. trotting around face to face and talking about my story of conquering chronic pain and overcoming my mental hurdles is VERY IMPORTANT to me. i say YES to these things whenever i can. (here i am with authors at CALIFORNIA INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE conference. they are a WONDERFUL group and they proved love with their OWN invitation to chuck. this was such a moving event with so many amazing authors and stories. got very teared up during this photo)
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ANYWAY BUCKAROOS i get the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION invite and say 'YES BUD LETS TROT'. we are then confirmed.
months pass. a few weeks ago i get a call from my manager and agent and publisher saying ‘the TLA have rescinded their invitation.’
turns out some things had been going on behind the scenes
at some point the TLA asked chucks INCREDIBLE HEROIC BAD ASS PUBLISHER if chuck would be okay with not wearing the mask, to which tor/nightfire/macmillan said ‘what the heck are you talking about of course chuck is going to wear his mask. this is how chuck presents himself’ (NOT EXACT QUOTE)
as you all know, my pink bag way is a VERY IMPORTANT SPACE. as an autistic buckaroo it is a boundary that allows me to express myself freely and relieve my chronic pain from neurotypically masking all day. i have talked about this for years, and it is why i consider my private identity a SACRED THING. it is literally a health issue.
fortunately THE PINK BAG is never really a problem when making appearances. i have spent years going on television shows, doing interviews, speaking at other conferences and conventions, hosting book events on tour, and even MEETING WITH LAWYERS in my pink face covering. it is always respected and that is very validating to my way.
when arriving anywhere i always take precautions. i always warn buckaroos ahead of time that there is a masked man coming. i always have someone go in ahead of me JUST IN CASE. again, there has never been an issue. at a big conference where i am a special guest there is ESPECIALLY not an issue because my face and bio are printed IN THE DANG PROGRAM
SOME FUN TIMES AT BIG EVENTS BELOW:
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CHUCK ON TV SHOW NAME OF 'AT MIDNIGHT' BACK BEFORE I WROTE LOVE IS REAL ON MY HEAD:
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well, there has never been an issue.... UNTIL NOW.
PART TWO: RESCINDED
a few days ago TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION suddenly messaged my publishers and said that chuck tingle is no longer invited. my invitation was rescinded. the reason given was that people could possibly be uncomfortable with my mask
right out of the gate i would like to say this: it is absolutely the right of the texas library association to disinvite someone from their conference. it is their event, after all, and they can ban anyone they would like, for any reason.
of course, that doesnt mean other folks HEARING THIS NEWS wont have their own opinions the TLA choices. if the TLA disinvites someone, their reasoning for doing this can be discussed and analyzed. whether or not they follow their own guidelines can be questioned, and certainly their kindness and tact can be considered
there are a few BIG POINTS to make regarding this choice from the TLA
first and foremost, i just gotta say buckaroos, it is incredibly rude to invite someone to be a guest speaker at your event, have them confirm and mark off their calendar and turn down other offers, then rescind their invitation. this is maybe the simplest of the points, but it is an important one.
second, (DEEP BREATH HERE WE GO BUCKAROOS) i personally do not think of my autism as a disability very often, but i also KNOW that despite these feelings it ABSOLUTELY IS. autism is important to be listed as a recognized disability because of the help some autistic buckaroos need regarding government programs and things like that. ALSO just because my neurodivergence has helped me in some ways (hyperfocus and a unique artistic sensibility for example). i personally need to step back and remember my battle with stress and chronic pain from having to neurotypically mask all the time. for as much as i love being autistic it has made some things very difficult.
in other words, i am perfectly capable of speaking and interacting with folks without this pink bag on my head BUT WHEN I AM IN THE CHUCK TINGLE SPACE I REQUIRE IT. i can ONLY use this space while covering my face. is not a want. it is a need. holding this boundary is more important than i can ever say. i will not, and can not, let these spaces cross.
TLA not letting an autistic author wear the face cover theyve set up to express their neurodivergence in a safe, healthy way is--for lack of a better term--NOT A GOOD LOOK.
i cannot fathom them disinviting another author for using a disability aid. i cannot fathom them saying that a buckaroo who hears better with a hearing device cannot use it during their panel because it would make others 'uncomfortable'.
but here we are.
PART THREE: WHAT DOES A BUCKAROO GOTTA DO TO GET BANNED AROUND HERE?
this is the TLAs official stance on disability issues according to their website:
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when poking around on the TLA website i noticed a few other things. i noticed a previous guest speaker wearing a niqab, and i was left wondering if the religious significance is what make that okay but chuck tingle banned. that made sense until i looked deeper and saw mascot buckaroos dressed up on the exhibition floor, and saw some kind of spiderbud in a costume contest. nobody around them seemed to be all that scared. their invitations REMAINED INTACT.
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it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?
i wonder, would the author who wears a niqab ALSO be banned from the paid panels? i hope not
my answers trotted up short until i investigated deeper and found this quick moment from one of the TLA help videos. while some events DO require additional buckaroo cash, it actually appears that THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE IS TICKETED AND COSTS MONEY.
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at this point i realized there is clearly no actual official policy about not covering your face (other than one from a few years ago saying that you HAVE to cover your face), and the addition of 'money' is a red herring. these excuses make no sense
PART FOUR: CLOSE THOSE GATES
it appears that my neurodivergence is 'scary' enough to get me uninvited, REGARDLESS what their disability and mask policies may say
BUT WHY? why is chucks preferred physical presentation valued SO little by the TLA that a THEORETICAL complaint is worth more? is my neurodivergent expression so awful? is my own safety as a queer activist such an afterthought?
is a pink bag with the words 'love is real' scrawled across the front REALLY going to frighten someone when the posters and pamphlets on the way into in panel would have a photo of my masked face saying THIS IS LITERALLY WHO IS ABOUT TO APPEAR BEFORE YOU.
if THAT accommodation is too much, would it really be so difficult to have someone trot out beforehand and make an announcement? to say 'there is someone on this upcoming panel who needs a mask to express this part of himself, if this makes you uncomfortable then this panel might not be for you'.
and really, i have to heckin ask, is this physical expression of my raw inner truth really so hideous and frightening that fear of making someone uncomfortable is a REAL problem?
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(a terrifying display of autism. apparently)
i cannot imagine what kind of precautions they need to take before a stage play featuring costumes and masks.
you MIGHT think chucks queerness and left leaning politics could be the issue with this organization, but they have had drag queens as past speakers (also featuring some GLORIOUS makeup and hair that covers almost all of their faces. VERY CURIOUS). regardless, the TLA do not seem like a conservative bunch.
if you are bisexual or an autistic person who is good at 'passing' you probably already know where this is headed, your dang spiderbuckaroo senses are tingling at FULL ALERT. i will say i do not KNOW the real reason why i was uninvited, and i do not have enough information to make any concrete statement of the real answer. there is only evidence that masks have been fine at TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION events in the past, but not much else to go on.
so the FACTS part of our discussion ends there, but i think it opens us up to talk about some very important feelings that bisexual and autistic buckaroos know well.
THIS is where we take a unfortunate, hurtful moment and turn it into a discussion. this is where we prove love is real.
as someone who is constantly doubted and put through purity tests because of my unique way, we are pushing up against a subject i know well. thats right buckaroos: we are talking GATEKEEPING
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AGAIN, i do not know if this is the answer, but someone in my position might be VERY STRONGLY INCLINED TO THINK that a few well-meaning left leaning buckaroos think i am a joke and that this is a character, and that there is something problematic about my work because i am not really a real person.
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a neurodivergent buckaroo with an unusual visual presentation, an autistic buckaroo who conquered his chronic pain ONLY by creating this important space... but what about a FAKE autistic buckaroo?
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a queer LGBTQ activist standing up for gay and trans rights against a torrent of scoundrels hunting for his legal identity. its a matter of safety... but what about a FAKE queer activist?
let me be very clear for the 100th time: i am a real person. this is not a joke. i am not playing a character. i am really autistic and bisexual. tinglers are sincere and they are not ‘so bad theyre good’. they are just good. camp damascus is not ‘my first serious book’ because my queer erotica is serious. my art is important and real.
when people tell me to unmask they often do not know WHY they want it, and of course one very good reason is innocent curiosity. but there are SOME cases where i start to get THAT feeling--that tingle all of us ‘passing’ buckaroos get when we can sense the real intent behind the poking and prodding. that is the feeling of stumbling into a gatekeepers crosshairs.
if i was to take off my pink bag, what about my face would you analyze to tell if i was REALLY queer. my eye color? my ear shape? if you learned my legal name, would you see if it sounded autistic? is my voice neurodivergent enough?
or is all of that utterly absurd? i am curious what the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION thinks.
PART FIVE: GENDERED
this will be the shortest of parts, but it has to be said. i have a very complex relationship with gender, as written about at length here and here. i understand these things can be difficult to parse for some, but i ask that you trust me when i say that the ONLY reason i have been able to talk about my gender and sexuality and learn these things about myself is because of this pink bag. this outward appearance is a direct expression and reflection of my gender journey.
if the texas library association does not care about my appearance as an expression of my autism, then i cant imagine them giving a dang about it as an expression of my gender and queerness. that being said, it is personally very important to me and i think it should be mentioned
PART SIX: SO YOU WANT TO REMOVE AN AUTISTIC QUEER AUTHOR FROM YOUR EVENT BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THEIR DIFFERENCES SCARY
there is a question to be asked here: how could the TLA have done this correctly?
i have one very big piece of advice i would like to shout from the rooftops. please, for the love of sweet barbara, DO ENOUGH RESEARCH to know if this appearance will be a problem and, IF SO, dont extend an invitation in the first place. unique buckaroos with different presentations are constantly left in this place of limbo because we are bombarded with careless actions like those of the TLA. before you consider extending a branch to an artist who might need more accommodations than usual, think to yourself 'CAN WE MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS?'
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putting all of this on the shoulders of a single 'buckaroo with a difference' is exhausting. as the TLA has shown, we currently live on a timeline where a buckaroo like myself never really knows if an invite is SOLID without doing a deep dive history lesson on how often a group discriminates and against who.
i did not want to spend my whole family holiday worrying whether or not i should say something publicly or just lie down and shut my dang mouth. i had to consider HOW i should say it. i had to worry whether or not its worth standing up for myself in the face of the largest state library association in the country. i think buckaroos with differences are with me when i say: WE ARE SICK OF HAVING TO DO THIS WORK TO COVER FOR THE POOR BEHAVIOR OF LARGE ORGANIZATIONS WHO TREAT US BADLY
another option would just be to use kindness and common sense and happily accommodate artists with unique presentations to your conventions
PART SEVEN: LOVE IS STILL REAL
i would like to close by saying THANK YOU to my publisher nightfire and editor kelly for standing up for me. they immediately stood firm and had my back. they are the real dang deal. THANK YOU to my management and agent buds dongwon and gino for trotting along beside me. THANK YOU to the folks at the texas library association who initially invited chuck with goodness in their heart and then likely got bowled over by someone else, and maybe even got knocked to the side by a big closing gate.
i hope there are librarians in texas who are still interested in carrying BURY YOUR GAYS when it comes out (which is ironically about someone who creates a space through art to express their queerness where they cant otherwise). libraries prove love is real and what they do IS SO IMPORTANT. it was SO IMPORTANT TO ME as a young buckaroo and i cannot thank you enough. i am not sure if me writing all of this will hurt my sales in some way, but this opportunity to speak about the reality of disability awareness and queer gatekeeping is too important to stay silent. (if you have not already preordered BURY YOUR GAYS then give it a preorder to make up for some texas library losses i guess.)
which leads me to my final thank you. THANK YOU to the buckaroos reading this. yes YOU. i am in the position to stand up and speak my mind against scoundrel forces ONLY because i have the might of you buckaroos by my side. the buckaroo trot is ALL OF OUR TROT and we are ALL HERE TO PROVE LOVE. i cannot tell you how much i appreciate the way you have created a space for me to express these important parts of myself. you have seen this pink mask over my face and saying YES, I ACCEPT YOU, you have literally saved my life. for that i am so thankful.
if you are UPSET by what youve read here, then turn it into something positive. you can support autistic creators, or make a donation to the AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK
and besides WHO IS REALLY MISSING OUT? this is what it looks like when you invite the worlds greatest author chuck tingle to your event and treat their identity as valid. WE HAVE A DANG GOOD TIME
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KEEP TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE. KEEP KICKING DOWN GATES WHEREVER THEY MAY BE. KEEP PROVING LOVE IS REAL AND PROVING IT TOGETHER. lets go buckaroos - chuck
UPDATE AN HOUR AFTER POSTING:
true buckaroo TJ KLUNE was set to be another author on panel chuck was removed from and has informed me he has now chosen to decline his invitation in support and solidarity with chuck. i am so deeply moved by this. thank you from bottom of heart buckaroo
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to be very clear TJ has a huge platform and DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS. these conferences are great for book sales and he is taking a hit out of pure solidarity. this is queer buckaroos standing up for eachother. i am floored by this kindness and love
please consider checking out his books if they are not already covering your dang bookshelf. chuck blurbed IN THE LIVES OF PUPPETS and i was blown away i heckin loved it
MOST RECENT UPDATE:
here is more
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gloryinthunder · 2 years ago
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I used to really love the first romance scene with Astarion (and I still do) but it hits so much harder after you know why he's doing it. That he's purposefully seducing you for protection and blood, that he's forcing himself to sleep with you, and this is a mask he's wearing.
It's a sexy scene and really feeds into the vampy (pun intended) jump-your-bones version of him you get at the start of the game. The whole thing starts out with him being so confident and suave, saying that he's wanted you ever since he set eyes on you and how you want to be known and tasted. It's like everyone's perfect vampire romance novel.
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He's laying out the bait that's worked thousands of times over and luring you in. And you can just get right to the kissing if you want.
But, you can also stop and ask him, "And what do you want?"
And for just a moment the mask drops. This is not the same cocky seductive face we've had up until now. This is vulnerability showing. When has anyone asked him what he wants? When has anyone cared? Does he even know the answer to that question?
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So he pivots. The mask snaps back into place immediately. He turns back into the master seducer and feeds you a line about shared ecstasy to get you back on track.
And then comes what is, to me, the pivotal moment. He asks you "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"
Looking at his body language he seems unsure at first, maybe questioning his previous tactics. Then he slightly cowers back, lowering himself as he asks the question. The total opposite of his confidence from earlier where he's standing with his arms out wide.
He's not sure what you want anymore. You're not playing by the rules he knows. Why haven't you taken the bait yet? Why haven't you thrown yourself at him?
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And when you finally Nod in agreement, confirming you're here for sex?
This. This is the face he gives you. He just looks so damn sad. To me, it hearkens back to "Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?"
Whatever momentary blip made him question why you're there with him, he's just been reassured about both of your roles in this situation.
He sounds so quietly resigned when he answers: "I thought so."
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And then the scene transitions into the actual act. I do like to think Astarion enjoyed himself as I'm sure the PC did, but it's hard for me to watch this scene now that I know his story and history without being uncomfortable.
Just that line "lose yourself in me" is so difficult to hear. Because on paper it's so sensual. Who wouldn't want a lover to feel that way about them? But knowing the context of what Astarion expects and believes in this moment is just... oof.
And to me, this is what makes this scene brilliant. The writing, voice acting, and the mocap/animation are all just SO GOOD. It's so delicately done and Astarion the character is so good at playing a role that you can completely gloss over the deeper stuff. But once the mask is eventually stripped away you can't help but see what was there the whole time.
And as we've established, being seen is a whole aspect of Astarion's romance arc.
I originally romanced Astarion for the same reasons I'm sure most did: he's a hot, sexy vampire elf (i.e. everything that's on the surface). But, I keep coming back to him over and over again for the person I know is waiting for me underneath the mask.
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jenoslutie · 10 months ago
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that's that me, espresso l y.jh
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❥ Synopsis: Jeonghan fucks you hard, Jeonghan fucks you good. You both know that much, so why do you refuse to give him the time of day outside of bed?
❥ Genre: Smut, Desperate Jeonghan, Reader is closed off, one sided pining (until it's mutual), Fuckgirl!reader, Formula One drivers!Seventeen, Reader is a life guard (so is Joshua!) theres also like angst if u really squint.
❥ Warnings: *takes a deep breath* unprotected sex, degradation, praise, choking, implied face slapping, multiple sex scenes (like 3), creampies (ew i hate that word!!!), exhibitionism, jeonghan is a little mean during sex but its okay, jeonghan fucks her while seungcheol listens in but she does not know, fingering, oral, face fucking, car sex, jeonghan cums in her and makes her keep it inside while they play beach volleyball, reader likes to send videos of her sleeping with other people (cheol and josh) to jeonghan to mess with him. i think thats it.
❥ Word count: 8.6k
a/n: so im finally done this LMAOO. huge. huge. HUGE!!!! thank u to everyone who helped me with this fic @hanniesluvr my lovely aera my fellow jeonghan freak my WIFE!!! for keeping me motivated through this and matching my freak, @haologram for the banner and basically ghost writing this (if u like the whole f1 driver thing, thank alta :D) and @dearlyjun for using her big huge sexy brain and f1 knowledge and helping a girl out ANDD!!!! @jihyokat for beta reading i love u all MWAH <3 ANYWAYS!!! here she is <3 hope u enjoy :D
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“You’re already leaving?” Jeonghan called out from behind you, watching as you redressed yourself. Jeonghan knew you never stayed. Well, you never stayed with him at least. 
You let out a laugh, ”You know I'm not staying” Jeonghan let out a groan at that, annoyed that he’s seen you stay the night with other hookups but not him. Why not Jeonghan? He was hot, he fucked good, he fucked hard (the way you like it), he fit all of the requirements that made him a good fuck buddy. So why did you refuse to spend the night with him every time you hooked up?
The answer was simple, you didn’t want to stick around when you know they’re gonna catch feelings. You know Jeonghan is going to get attached too easily if you keep staying. But there’s something about him that’s just too good to let go.
The first time you and Jeonghan had sex, it wasn’t like anything you’ve ever experienced before. Jeonghan was different. He single-handedly fulfilled all of your depraved fantasies on your first night together. You never thought that someone like Jeonghan would be so…nasty in bed but the second you followed him back to his car you were in for a surprise to say the least. 
For someone who looked like an angel, he sure didn’t act like one in bed. 
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You were invited to the party Jeonghan threw to celebrate his win in Las Vegas. Your best friend and second place winner tonight, Mingyu, drove you to the venue with him. You could hear the music booming before you even got to the entrance of the nightclub. It was huge and the only other person you knew at this party was Seungkwan, Mingyu’s teammate. 
The moment you were let into the club your eyes landed on Boo Seungkwan, the other man you were expecting to see tonight. His eyes locked with yours and immediately they lit up. He was conversing with Yoon Jeonghan, the man of the night and no matter how many times you’ve seen the man on TV, it’s nothing compared to the real deal. Jeonghan was nothing short of ethereal. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was an angel on earth, not one of the top racers on the whole grid. 
“Y/n!” Seungkwan shouted over the crowd, your smiles mirroring each other as Mingyu led you through the ocean of bodies. “You look fucking stunning tonight dude” He left the group he was talking with to pull you away from Mingyu. You were aware of how good you looked tonight. You chose not to drive to the party tonight in plans of going home with someone at the party and you knew that you had to dress to impress. With your little black dress and matching stiletto pumps, you were sure you’d get someone to either A) buy you a drink or B) take you back to theirs. 
…Hopefully both? 
“Thanks Kwannie! I thought maybe I’d dress to impress tonight” Seungkwan snickered at that, “Why? got any plans tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows, looking over your shoulder at Mingyu, implying you’d be going back to his place after this. Typical Seungkwan, he was always so determined to someday expose that you and Mingyu were secretly hooking up on the down low but that day won’t be soon. 
“Fuck no! You know damn well i would never fuck Mingyu of all people” Lies. You and Mingyu did hook up once and never again. Not that it was bad but because on your way out that day you met the one and only Choi Seungcheol, Yoon Jeonghan’s teammate at Ferrari. You and Seungcheol have been hooking up on the down low since. You wrapped up the conversation with Seungkwan and made your way around the club, searching for Mingyu. 
“Hey!” A tap on your shoulder caught your attention, You turned around and there was the man of the night, Yoon Jeonghan, you watched him give you a once over before meeting your eyes. “Hi! Jeonghan, right?” You were quick to introduce yourself, maintaining eye contact as best as you could. It wasn’t easy when his big brown eyes were looking deep into your own and to make it worse, his pretty face was glowing, the aftermath of a huge victory on the track today. 
“Are you looking for your boyfriend?” Jeonghan frowned, eyes searching around looking for whoever he supposed was your boyfriend. 
“Boyfriend?” You snickered, “Who’s my boyfriend dare I ask” 
“Mingyu, no?” 
You burst into laughter, hand resting on his shoulder for reassurance. “Mingyu is not my boyfriend, we’re just friends. And yes, I was looking for him” 
Jeonghan sighed in relief. “Thank God, Mind if I buy you a drink?” 
BINGO! 
Jeonghan led the way to the bar where he bought you your drink of choice, a Vodka Tonic. You were sitting on a bar stool with your back to the bar while Jeonghan stood in front of you, looking down at you and taking in your figure.  “You look amazing tonight by the way” He smiled at you as he watched you take a sip of your drink, smiling creeping onto your face at both the taste of your drink and the compliment. 
“Thank you, I put it on in hopes to go home with someone tonight” You gazed up at him expectantly.  
“Oh? Is that so?” Jeonghan smirked, stepping forward to situate himself between your legs, leaning his head down enough to where his lips were hovering over yours. 
“Wanna take me home?” You smiled with faux innocence, downing your drink before Jeonghan pulled you up and off your seat and out of the club. 
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The drive back to his hotel was exhilarating, Jeonghan feeling up your bare thighs while he drove while you leaned over the center console and pressed kisses all over his neck earning you halfhearted warnings. He knows you shouldn't be distracting him like that but he also knows he does not want you to stop, your lips on his neck almost making him lose focus of the road. 
Before you knew it, the two of you were back at his hotel room with his lips against yours in a desperate kiss while you were pressed up against the wall. Jeonghan’s hands wandered all over your body, feeling up every inch of your body that he could get his hands on. 
“Get me naked Jeonghan,” You let out a sound that was something even more desperate than a whine, but Jeonghan ignored your plea, continuing to attack your lips with his own, enjoying your pretty sounds as you got even more desperate for him to do something. 
“On your knees” Jeonghan ordered. A sudden shift in the atmosphere made you freeze. Jeonghan’s voice dropped an octave as he looked at you with lust filled eyes. “I’m not going to repeat myself” You instantly dropped to your knees and looked up at him, locking eyes with his own. 
“I’m going to use your throat like a fucking fleshlight. Okay?” Your body buzzed with excitement as you heard that, sure you’ve sucked cock before but never has anyone ever done anything like that. “Squeeze my thigh if you want me to stop” You only nodded enthusiastically and within an instant, he was ridding himself of his pants along with his boxers before he was pressing his hard cock against your open mouth. You eagerly sucked the tip of Jeonghan’s cock into your mouth, and began to tease the slit on the tip of his cock with your tongue. As you sucked his cock into your mouth, you could feel the wetness seeping out of your pussy. You did your best to ignore the urge to just have his cock in you. 
Jeonghan roughly pushed you all the way down on his cock making you gag immediately but you were quick to remind yourself to breathe through your nose. Jeonghan was pulling you up on his cock and slamming you back down with no relent. True to his word, he began to use you as if you were nothing but a toy, placing his hands on the sides of your face to get a better grip. His noises filled the room, tumbling out of his mouth in a way that only made you leak more on the floor of the hotel room. His one hand maneuvered to your hair, gripping tight as he began fucking into your mouth with even more force. In no time he was cumming down your throat, pushing your head all the way down his cock until his whole cock hit the back of your throat. 
“Get on the bed,” You obliged wordlessly, submitting to Jeonghan and whatever he wants of you. Making yourself comfortable on the bed, you gazed up at Jeonghan, watching as he stared down at you almost as if to mock the way you submit to him so easily. 
“Jeonghan-” Before you could finish Jeonghan delivered a light slap to your face. Muttering a small but stern ‘shut up’ 
"You speak when spoken to," he grits, glaring at you with dark eyes. He presses down on your cheeks, forcing your mouth open, you wince out in pain. “I’m gonna give you your safeword okay?” He didn’t really give you much room to agree before he assigned you a safeword, something easy for both of you to remember. You repeated it back to him to which Jeonghan smiled at your obedience. 
“Use it if you need to, okay? I won’t be upset if you do” Only after you nodded in understanding did Jeonghan inch closer to you to rid you of the rest of your clothes. He grinned when he caught a glimpse of your soaked pussy. “So wet already? Just from me fucking your face?” The question was rhetorical the way Jeonghan dropped to his knees, wasting no more time to dig his face between your legs. Dragging his lips between your slit, sucking your arousal onto his tongue. 
Tugging his shirt off, he fixes himself back between your legs. Letting out groans against your core, prompting you to moan out yourself. He presses a last kiss to your clit before pulling away.  He sits on the edge of your bed. “Sit that pretty pussy on my cock, slut.”  And again, you had no will in you to deny anything the man asks of you. Immediately making your way over and straddling his thighs. You take a deep breath before reaching down to guide him in. Feeling your stomach twist as the stretch slowly splits you open. Your eyes shut as you cry out at his thick cock stretching you open. “Why the fuck are you so tight. Holy shit” Jeonghan winces, his own eyes slamming shut at the feeling of your warm walls enveloping him in. 
“You’re too big—“ you whine, your head falling down to rest on his shoulder as you slowly begin to move up and down on his cock. But it didn’t go far before Jeonghan was wrapping his hands around your hips and taking over your movements with faster and harder ones of his own. 
You let out a string of moans at his intense pace making him chuckle. “Fucking slut. you like that dont you?” he gave a hard thrust, bottoming out inside your cunt. “Like getting fucked like this by a guy you just met, hmm?” You moaned out choruses of ‘yes’ as Jeonghan began rutting up into you. Moving a hand down to rub at your clit, your body jerked as you felt your high incoming. 
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Jeonghan” Your voice came out in a high pitched whine as you rubbed your clit harder, body shaking as Jeonghan fucked you harder to help guide you to the edge. Your eyes roll back as your high hits you and Jeonghan helps you ride it out, not forgetting to kiss you through it too. The two of you with no care in the world for who can hear you. As the high of your orgasm dissipates, he flips you onto your back. He’s close too, you can tell by the way his cock is throbbing inside you and his thrusts turn erratic. 
“Cum inside Jeonghan.” You all but begged, Jeonghan moaning out before he also toppled over the edge. Cock throbbing erratically inside you as he emptied ropes of cum inside you. The two of you took a minute to calm your racing hearts before Jeonghan pulled out and flopped down on the bed next to you. 
“Holy shit” He huffed, looking over at your smiling face. “Please tell me you’ll give me your number” He was still out of breath and it only made you chuckle, rolling off the bed to pick up your purse from where he he face fucked you moments ago. Fishing out your phone, you unlocked it before handing it to Jeonghan who was nearly knocked out on the bed for him to put his number in and text himself. 
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Since the day you two hooked up at Jeonghan’s party, you’d started seeing each other more often. It’s not like you only seeked Jeonghan for your dick appointments. In reality Jeonghan was the one constantly calling and texting for when he can see you again. You won’t say that you minded it though. Sex with Jeonghan is an out of the world experience. Him making you feel highs you have never felt before with any other partner or yourself. 
As for Jeonghan? Jeonghan felt nothing short of smitten. Getting into his bed with anyone other than you made the most uncomfortable feeling arise within him and it had been practically days since he last saw you so he had to hit you up. 
jeonghan: i miss youuuuuuu  jeonghan: hi  jeonghan: cmon respondddddddd jeonghan: alright.. what position he got you in???  
you: [attachment: 1 video] 
You knew Jeonghan didn't expect you to actually send him a video of what position your last hookup had you in, you watched the video back and you couldn't help but get a little ego boost while watching yourself getting fucked by one of your coworkers, Joshua. He had you on all fours, hand gripping onto your waist as he fucked you.
Another thing you couldnt help is noticing how Joshua was not fucking you half as good as Jeonghan does. There's no bruises on your hips, there's no hair pulling, and the worst of all, there's no degradation. One thing about Jeonghan, for someone with such an angelic face, he has the nastiest mouth. It’s not something you're complaining about though, you would never complain about the way Jeonghan treats you in bed.
It wasn’t like Jeonghan was the only guy you could pull, never that. Jeonghan just happened to be one of the best guys you’ve ever slept with. Which might even be the only reason you keep going back to him. Something about the way he treats you just has you always craving more of him- not that you’d ever admit that to him but it was true. Jeonghan might call you all sorts of names in bed, treat you like some common whore, but right after he’ll always clean you up, attempt to hold you close, give you all the reassurance you need for you to know he doesn’t actually think you’re a common whore (not that it matters). 
jeonghan: what the fuck man… jeonghan: i’m about to have the saddest wank of my life  jeonghan: ^^^woah idk who said that jeonghan: might be the demons idk
you: have fun jeonghan <3
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you: hey, you wanna come play beach volleyball tmrw @3? 
seungcheol: hmm seungcheol: i dont think i can make it, seokmin wants to hang. 
you: boo you whore. 
[seungcheol disliked “boo you whore.”] 
If there's one thing you hate, it would be your job. Sitting in the sun for hours on end and staring at people who were obviously having a lot more fun than you were. You thought you could invite Seungcheol so you could play beach volleyball but apparently the universe didn’t want you to enjoy your shift. But that’s when it hit you, you could just invite Jeonghan. Surely he wouldn’t let you down. 
you: hey r u free tmrw? 
His reply was almost instant. 
jeonghan: yea, why?
you: wanna play beach volleyball at the beach i work at? 
you: i'm thinking around 3pm
jeonghan: i'm down, which beach is it? 
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You saw Jeonghan’s car pull up to the beach almost thirty minutes before your shift was supposed to start, giving you thirty minutes to spare before the rest of your coworkers piled in to start their shifts. 
“Hey, Beautiful” Jeonghan called out as he got out of his car, leaning back against it as you approached him. “Hi Handsome,” You smiled back as you watched him give you a once over, looking at you in your work uniform, a simple red bikini with the word ‘LIFEGUARD’ printed on it in white. Jeonghan leaned down so that he could whisper in your ear, “Do you think I can make you cum before your shift?” You nodded, not trusting your voice to do the talking, knowing you’d accidentally moan or whimper out loud. 
“Get in the car then” 
You didn't need to be told twice, immediately you hopped in the backseat of Jeonghan’s car and he followed suit. There wasn't much time for foreplay so he leans in, connecting your lips eagerly. As if he’s been craving this for years and is finally being satiated. The limited space doesn’t offer much room to maneuver but Jeonghan shifts in between your legs enough to grind his clothed cock against your barely clothed core. The whole situation arousing you beyond belief, about to fuck Jeonghan in the back of his car, parked someplace where anyone could see what was happening inside. You could feel your arousal seeping out of your pussy and staining the seat of your bikini. Moaning out into the kiss you pushed your hips into his own, urging him to do something. 
“Jeonghan do something” You urge him in a hushed whisper, barely able to get the words out with the way Jeonghan was grinding into you so deliciously. Jeonghan merely hummed in response, halting his movements to slide down his swim shorts and free his aching cock. 
“You realize how much of a slut you are for this hm? Letting me have you like this where anyone can see you, hear you, find out how much of a slut you are for me.” Jeonghan’s gaze was dark, almost mocking you. You let out some sort of groan at his words. A chill running down your spine at the thought of what Jeonghan is gonna do to you. Flashbacks of the first night you spent with him running through your head. Jeonghan was so rough in a way that no one else had ever been with you and you couldn't help but admit that you loved every second of it. Being too absorbed in your thoughts, you couldn’t respond back to jeonghan which earned you a slap across your face. Your cheek stinging at the contact but nonetheless making you clench around nothing. The feeling of your damp swimsuit sticking to your core making you wiggle your hips in discomfort. 
“Pay attention to me slut” Jeonghan seethed, wrapping a hand around your throat and putting just enough pressure to have your eyes fluttering shut. “Beg for it if you want it” Another slap to your face, this time it was harder than before. Your eyes tearing up a little before you squeaked out a little ‘please’  Another slap. 
“You can do better” 
“Please fuck me Jeonghan” You pleaded, a tear running down your cheek at the hit. 
“Try again” His voice was softer this time, rubbing his free hand over the spot he just slapped. 
“Jeonghan please” you whined. “ Want everyone to hear how good you fuck me please” You begged harder this time, hoping this would be enough for Jeonghan and boy were you right. He pushes the seat of your bikini to the side before repositioning himself and pushing his length into you, moaning in delight as your walls stretch to accommodate his size. You cry out in pleasure, the feeling of finally having Jeonghan in you making more tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn’t take it easy though, keeping a steady, rough rhythm from the start. Pounding you into his backseat while watching you lose yourself in the feeling of him ramming into you. “You love it huh? Tell me how much you love it” You didn’t have it in you to deny it, fully aware of the way you literally begged him for it moments ago. 
“I fucking love it Jeonghan”  You gasp, his hand reaching down to rub at your clit in harsh circles. 
“Does anyone fuck you like i do?” He grunts, rocking his hips into yours harder, as if it was even possible with the way he was fucking you so hard you were positive anyone passing by could see the car visibly shaking. 
You shook your head immediately, “No one fucks me like you do” You confirm. Jeonghan hummed, your answer satisfying him enough that he tightened his hand around your neck once again and rubbing your clit with the other hand. The head of his cock fucks into your most sensitive spot and you feel all the thoughts in your head slowly disintegrate. Head full of only Jeonghan. You urgently reached out to grab onto something to steady something, quickly opting for his hand that was wrapped around your neck. You gripped his forearm with both hands, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your vision goes unfocused as your orgasm hits, letting out weak moans and gasps as the feeling consumes you entirely. Feeling it course through your whole body all the way down to your toes. Your walls constrict around Jeonghan the whole time, urging his own orgasm to hit him fast. 
“Gonna cum” Jeonghan warns. His thrusts turn erratic as he lets out a string of guttural groans. 
“Inside” You plead, “Need you to fill me up again please Jeonghan” Jeonghan moans loudly at that, your begging pushing him all the way over the edge. His eyes shut tightly and he groans out loudly. His body tensing up as he fills you up entirely. 
“Gonna be a good girl and keep that inside you yeah? All your little friends oblivious of the way you just begged me to slut you out” Heat rushed to your cheeks at the way Jeonghan was humiliating you but you agreed either way. Jeonghan’s eyes lit up when you nodded your head with a small smile. He took time to calm down before he slipped out of you wordlessly, ignoring the way you whine at the feeling of emptiness and fixing your bikini bottoms to cover you up again. 
After fixing himself up he spoke up again, “Can I kiss you?” Jeonghan asked, rather shyly, his demeanor a stark contrast to the Jeonghan that was pouding you into his backseat moments ago. You chuckled at his sheepishness. “Yes Jeonghan you can kiss me” Your voice was small but he didn’t hesitate to press his lips onto yours once again, this time the kiss was much softer than before. His hands cupping your cheeks as he used his thumbs to wipe your tears. 
You pulled away first. “Let’s get going? I think I’m already late” 
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“Why the fuck is he here?” Jeonghan muttered from beside you, watching as his teammate, Seungcheol approached your group. Ever the show off, Seungcheol was wearing only a pair of black swim shorts, showing off his toned body for everyone at the beach to see. 
You turned to where Jeonghan was looking and lo and behold, there was Choi Seungcheol. You and Seungcheol had….history. Well, not really history but you two have been fucking for a couple months and you were fully aware that he is Jeonghan’s teammate and its not like you were picking out the Ferrari drivers in specific to sleep with. The two of them were the ones who came onto you first. 
“Seungcheol?” You gasped, not expecting him to show up after rudely (not really) canceling on you. You felt Jeonghan’s arm tentatively wrap around your waist as Seungcheol approached. 
“Hey baby!” Seungcheol grinned, completely ignoring Jeonghan on your side, with his arm obviously wrapped around your waist. You heard Jeonghan mutter a small ‘baby??’ under his breath while continuing to faux nonchalance. 
“Hi Cheol! I thought you were gonna hang with Seokmin today?” 
“Well, I was, but Seokmin had to meet with Chan today” He shrugged, smiling wider showing off his stunning smile that initially captivated you. 
“Oh! Cheol, this is Jeonghan” You were quick to detangle yourself from Jeonghan’s arms, standing awkwardly in between the two men who were finally forced to make eye contact (thanks to you) 
“This is the new guy you fuck? Really? Had to be my teammate?” Seungcheol scoffed, losing the smile once adorning his face. 
“ Uh yeah, Hannie, this is Seungcheol.” 
“The other guy you fuck.” 
“Well, yes.” 
Jeonghan wasn’t too phased at first, especially considering it was Jeonghan’s cum currently inside you and not Seungcheol’s. Jeonghan sighed before speaking out once again, 
“Okay...let’s play ball?” 
“Let’s play.” And the three of you set out to join the rest of the group where they played volleyball. 
Jeonghan teamed with three of your three coworkers, Soonyoung, Yuta and Xiaojun. While Seungcheol teamed with your other coworkers, Vernon, Jaehyun and Joshua (yes, the same Joshua). You self appointed yourself as the referee for the round because you obviously didn’t want Jeonghan’s cum splattering out of you while you played.
That would not be ideal in front of your coworkers. 
As the round started, you noticed that Seungcheol in particular was putting a little too much effort into this, as if he had something to prove. Which you weren’t wrong, he did. He wanted to prove he was way better than Jeonghan at this (among other things.) but Jeonghan was hitting the ball back with little to no effort. 
You watched, amused as the two men on the court played as if no one else was around, as if it was a battle and they had to get past each other to make it to the final round. You think it might 
You were right, Seungcheol did have something to prove. He wanted to prove that he was the better one out of the two of them, as if it wasn’t Jeonghan’s cum currently in you. 
You were pulled out of your thoughts by a LOUD shriek. Only to see that Xiaojun was on the floor, holding his head in his hands while he cried out pathetically. 
“Xiaojun what happened!?” You ran towards the man on the floor.
“Seungcheol spiked the ball and it hit Xiaojun’s head” Soonyoung explained hurriedly, jumping in to do a poor attempt of CPR on him (though he’s a lifeguard. You’re not too sure how he got hired in the first place). 
“Get off me!” Xiaojun screamed when Soonyoung leaned in to give him mouth-to-mouth. 
“I got hit in the head I don’t need CPR idiot”
You did notice though, Seungcheol and Jeonghan were still playing amongst each other, not a clue in the world that they just took Xiaojun out and everyone was crowding around him. Well not anymore, Xiaojun was up and crowded away with Yuta and Soonyoung. You’d assume he was talking mad shit about the man who hit him in the head and didn’t even care to check on him. 
Typical Xiaojun. 
Also typical Seungcheol. 
As the round progressed, Xiaojun and Soonyoung dipped first, going off to get back to their jobs, then Yuta and Jaehyun also went on to do their own things and take care of their shift duties until finally Joshua and Vernon were about to head out too. 
“Dude, what the hell is their problem?” Joshua murmured, rolling his eyes at the two men still actively playing ball without noticing the absence of the others. 
You shrugged, “They’re both teammates and mad that I’m fucking them both. They both have something to prove to the other” You leaned in closer to whisper to Joshua.
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
jeonghan: hi y/n :) you: hi jeonghan :) 
jeonghan: i wanna see you :( 
you: aw really? 
you: my jeonghannie wants to see me o.O
jeonghan: yes :(  jeonghan: please? 
You snickered as you hit send on the video. A video of you while you were on your knees for a man whose face was not in the frame. With your lips wrapped around his cock - though unable to fully wrap around him. While you hollow your cheeks, lowering further down. The man grips your hair, holding your head still as you gag around his cock. 
“You’re such a good girl, taking me like a champ, princess.” He praises you. Hips bucking forward letting out raspy groans. 
That’s when he sees it. 
What was it? It was a silver ring with the word ‘Ferrari’ engraved on it adorning the man’s pinky finger, identical to the one on his own. 
The same ring that only two people would have. Him and his fuckass teammate.  
You fucking sent him a video of you sucking off Seungcheol.  
jeonghan: is that who i fucking think it is?? jeonghan: be so fucking fr. 
jeonghan: i'm coming over. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
“Please give it to me, fuck, Jeonghan,” you stuttered, breaking away from the kiss to whine against his lips. He spent much too long rubbing his tip along your slit and you could not stand it anymore, you needed him in you immediately. 
 “Why don’t you ask Seungcheol hm? I’m sure he’d give you what you want more than I will”  His tone was taunting, he was obviously still bitter about the stunt you pulled earlier.  Not that it bothered you though, it just made the sex even more exhilarating. To know that Jeonghan is actually bothered by the video made you feel sort of giddy. 
You whined when he sunk barely just the tip inside of you before pulling it out again. Your  grip in his hair tightening as you felt the need to have him buried deep in you grow more and more. “Wanna cum on your cock. I wanna feel it inside me so badly. Please. Please give it to me.” You whined more, hoping Jeonghan would give in and he did, pushing into you ever so slowly but he made up for it by pressing his lips onto yours again. 
“You know I’m not going easy on you tonight, right?” Your lover of the night bottomed out in you, smiling at the way he could see you going dumb on his cock and he hasn't even done anything yet. 
“God, I’d hope not”
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
You haven't seen Jeonghan or Seungcheol in two weeks. 
Seungcheol has been AWOL but Jeonghan has been texting you nonstop. It was nothing sexual like the first few times he texted you. It was wholesome? Texts full of Jeonghan checking up on you, asking about you, wondering if you had eaten etc. 
This time however, Jeonghan texted you something different? 
An article. 
F1 - Ferrari sealed 1-2 in Silverstone ahead of Kim Mingyu. 
you: what the fuck is a 1-2 and why did ur team seal it 
jeonghan: i won p1 and seungcheol won p2 jeonghan: party tomorrow  jeonghan: ill end the deets. i better see you there
you: wtf?? thats AMAZING jeonghan congrats <33333  you: yeah, send the details ill be there :)  you: see you tomorrow!
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
You weren’t used to seeing Jeonghan and Seungcheol in the same setting, not after that hell of a volleyball game. And apparently you won't see them together this time around either because you’ve been at this party for half an hour and have seen every other driver on the grid except the two men you actually wanted to see.  You decided you’d just sit at the bar and sip on yet another vodka tonic. You watched the rest of the partygoers drink away and dance together while you sat here miserably waiting to find any of your two fuck buddies. 
Until you were pulled from your misery by none other than Seungcheol. 
“And why do you look so miserable?” He asked, taking a seat next to you. Your face lit up at his voice, “Cheol!” You grinned for the first time since you got here. 
“I’ve been by myself all night, Jeonghan invited me but i haven't seen him anywhere” You shrugged. Seungcheol watched as you downed the rest of your drink before he led you away from the main party area, pulling you into a dim corner. 
“You know, I’ve been dreaming about your lips on mine since the last time you came over” Your lips curled into a smirk at that, “Yeah? Are you gonna do anything about it?” 
Oh, he was. 
Seungcheol angles his head to perfectly lower his lips onto yours. Like any kiss with Cheol, it has you dazed and yearning for more, your fingers gripping at his shirt to pull him as close to you as possible.
You both part for air momentarily,looking into eachothers eyes with equally dazed stares. your heart racing from the thrill of making out with him where anyone could catch the two of you, not that you mind, but you’re sure Seungcheol’s career might. Though the thought doesn't last long until Seungcheol searches for your lips again, pressing his mouth hard against yours with not a care in the world as to who may see you. 
Except the only person who saw you was none other than Yoon Jeonghan. 
There was no word to describe how upset Jeonghan felt at that moment. You came to a party he invited you to, celebrating mainly him, where he spent an hour looking for you and youre making out with his fuckass TEAMMATE?
There were only two people that could save Jeonghan now. 
Mingyu and Seungkwan.
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
After he had to witness you and his teammate down each other’s throats the other day. Jeonghan is on a mission to win you over. There is no way he’ll let Seungcheol of all people get his girl. 
Seungcheol wasn’t even looking to settle, Jeonghan was.
According to your two closest friends, Mingyu and Seungkwan, there were 3 things that Jeonghan could do that would win you over. Which happened to do with the 3 things you loved the most. 
Music, Food, Sports.  
…Well, that was the only input they gave him. He just had to figure the rest of it out himself. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
First thing: Music.
That was quite…simple? All he had to do was show you his fire music taste! 
So the next time he picked you up he’d just blast his tunes in the car and that’d be sure to have you swooning. 
Jeonghan rang your doorbell at 7:00pm on the dot. He seemed to have this whole evening planned out and you knew nothing except a text the day before asking if you were free at 7 today and it went on from there. He did specify to dress casual so you wore just a pair of shorts and a black tank top. 
“Hey” You smiled wide, opening the door to see an equally casually dressed Jeonghan. 
“Hey, you look cute.” You grinned at the compliment, gesturing inside for Jeonghan to come in but instead he just shook his head. 
“Let’s go, I’ve got plans for us” 
Jeonghan spent a good ten minutes trying to connect his bluetooth to his car, assuring you that you’d love the songs he’s picked out for tonight only to play the most ratchet music you think you’ve ever heard. 
“What the hell is this Jeonghan?” You grimaced, appalled by his choice of music 
“It’s Mozart!” 
“How the fuck does that make it better?” 
Jeonghan only sighed and handed you his phone with his music app opened. 
“Play whatever you want” 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
Second thing: Food
Jeonghan’s attempt to be…romantic? Was not as successful as you think he’d hoped. His plan was to cook together while sipping wine and have a cute little night. 
Cooking with someone was not something you enjoyed. 
Jeonghan was on vegetable duty while you were on sauce duty. Though time with Jeonghan was enjoyable, what you did not enjoy was him repeatedly coming in your way while you maneuvered around the kitchen. 
“Jeonghan, MOVE” Your frustration reached its max when Jeonghan was hunched over, eyes watery from the onions he was cutting but he was hunched right in the middle of the kitchen, leaving you with no space to pass. 
“I CAN’T SEE” He screeched, finding his way over to the sink in an attempt to rinse out his eye. 
God, he’s such a dork. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
The last part of Jeonghan’s plan was to woo you with Sports. 
There was no better sport to enjoy with you other than his own! He’ll just invite you to the race this week! 
jeonghan: hey jeonghan: you wanna come to the race this weekend? Its in hungary its gonna run friday-sunday but we arrive on thursday  jeonghan: tix on me :) 
you: wtf?? of COURSE i want to go :O 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
And just like that, you found yourself in a hotel in Hungary on a random Thursday morning. Well, it wasn’t random, you were invited to the Hungarian Grand Prix by none other than Yoon Jeonghan himself. 
Speaking of, Jeonghan had asked if you wanted to go explore the village with him on your off day and who were you to deny an offer like that? So here you were, rushing your makeup at 9 in the morning. Jeonghan was supposed to come to your room at about 9:30 so you have less than thirty minutes to be ready and out the door. 
Jeonghan showed up at your hotel room at 9:30 on the dot, wearing a variant of an outfit youve seen him wear a million times, baggy jeans with an oversized shirt. True Jeonghan fashion you’d say. 
“Good morning beautiful” He greeted, walking into your hotel room and closing the door behind him before backing you up against the wall. 
“Good morning handsome” You can't lie and say you didn't internally cringe at that, no matter how true the words actually were. Jeonghan himself grimaced, his face centimeters away from your own “Never say that again please” 
You rolled your eyes, “God forbid a woman try complimenting a man for once” 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
You and Jeonghan spent all day exploring the city. Going from coffee shop to coffee shop, spending hours walking aimlessly around and even checking out the track. You  enjoyed Jeonghan’s company more than you’d like to admit. Jeonghan was a witty guy. He was funny, hot, really fucking good in bed but most of all he was genuine. That’s one thing you loved about Jeonghan that Seungcheol didn’t have. Where Jeonghan’s intentions with you were clear as day, Seungcheol? You were not too sure what the fuck his intentions were with you. 
You knew you weren’t technically supposed to dig this deep into either of them. After all, they were just your fuckbuddies, people you only saw when you were horny and needed release but you still couldn't help but feel more drawn to Jeonghan than you did Seungcheol. 
Jeonghan was a genuinely good person whose company you actually enjoyed and you knew he did enjoy yours too. Seungcheol however ignored all your texts until he was the one that needed release and you didn’t have a problem with that until now.  Until Jeonghan brought it up. 
“You know, I really like spending time with you. Aside from the sex” It came from out of the blue when the two of you were walking back to your hotel. 
“So the sex just sucks huh?” You looked at him with a mischievous grin 
“You know that’s not what i meant” 
“I know, I really enjoy spending time with you too Jeonghan” He smiled at that, pulling you closer by the hip until you were pressed right by his side. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence until he spoke up again. 
“You know, you should stop seeing Seungcheol” 
You chuckled, this wasn’t the first time Jeonghan has hinted towards how much he doesn’t like you fucking his teammate. 
“Yeah, okay” 
“I'm serious! It might have to do with the fact im like fucking obsessed with you or the fact that I know Seungcheol doesn’t want you like I do but I swear, the way i want you does not compare to the way he wants you” Your eyebrows raised at that, you knew you prefer Jeonghan over Seungcheol but hearing him tell you why you should pick him over Seungcheol is just all the more satisfying. 
“Why do you think so?” 
“Because-!” He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands, not wanting to tell you how much he wants you. How he stays up thinking about how it’d be if you were his. 
“Because I like you beyond the sex, I want a relationship with you. I don’t wanna have to share you with anyone because I’m greedy and I want you for myself. I wanna show you off as mine without anyone else coming in the way. I want you Y/N” 
You stopped in your tracks, prompting him to stop with you as well. “You want to date me?” 
“Really fucking bad. Please let me?” 
“Okay” You nodded, acting nonchalant on the outside when you were actually going fucking insane on the inside. “I’ll be your girlfriend but only if you ask me out properly” Jeonghan all but jumped for joy, screaming a couple choruses of “YES!!” 
“Y/N, light of my life, will you please be my girlfriend?” he playfully rolled his eyes
“I’d love to!” you smiled wide, his own smile mirroring yours before he leaned in to kiss you sweetly, in the middle of a street in Mogyoród. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
The next morning, Seungcheol was just doing his normal pre race rituals when all of a sudden he heard an awful lot of giggling just outside of his room. 
What the hell could be so funny right before a race? 
He swung his door open only to see Jeonghan sitting on the couch while you sat on his lap, one leg on either side of him while the two of you smooched away like a couple of highschoolers on their first date. 
“I think I can come P1 today! After All, I have my beautiful girlfriend here to cheer me on” Jeonghan teased, cupping your face so he can press yet another kiss to your lips. 
“Yeah? Good luck out there boyfriend. I’ll be cheering for you” 
Girlfriend??? Boyfriend??? Since fucking when? The last time Seungcheol remembers, you were not looking for anything close to even a situationship, let alone a relationship. 
That kinda explains it too, you’d been too busy with your stupid boyfriend to return any of his calls or texts for the past few days too. This is exactly why Seungcheol hated couples. Gross. 
Screw Yoon Jeonghan, he stole his girl in plain sight. 
Well, not really his girl. Realistically Seungcheol was just tryna hit. Much like yourself until you met Yoon fucking Jeonghan. 
Cheol knew he wasn't all that upset about the situation but he had to mess with Jeonghan just for the fun of it and man was he geeked. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
You couldnt fucking believe what you were seeing. Today was the day of the first two free practices and the only two drivers on the track who were not behaving were none other than your very own. 
Normally, Jeonghan and Seungcheol would stay very…civil during their races but something was off today. Jeonghan was minding his business, leading the race like he usually does until in comes Choi Seungcheol and overtakes him. 
So naturally, Jeonghan starts to speed up and get back in the lead. Which lasts maybe a minute until in comes Choi fucking Seungcheol again and runs him off the track. 
What the hell was Seungcheol’s problem today? 
The race continued to be a mess of Seungcheol messing with Jeonghan, overtaking him then running him off the track and repeating it. You could tell Jeonghan was getting frustrated. Hell, even you were getting frustrated. 
Did Seungcheol find out about you and Jeonghan? 
God, you’d hope this wasn't the result of Seungcheol’s…jealousy? There really wasn't anything to be jealous about on his end but still, if it was, that’s not okay and you were going to speak to him about it. The race went on like that, with Cheol repeatedly provoking Jeonghan and Jeonghan fighting back. You could hear the chattering of the people around you talking about the two of them and how it was ‘so odd that they’re acting this way!’ 
As expected, Jeonghan came P1 and Seungcheol came P3. P2 was none other than your best friend, Boo Seungkwan! The race went surprisingly well after the second to last lap and continued to trail behind Jeonghan who was in P1.
“Jeonghan!” You squealed, embracing him in the tightest hug possible but immediately pulling away when you made contact with his sweaty body. 
“Baby” He whined, pulling you back into his embrace, ignoring your noises of protest. You gave up the fight without much convincing, hugging him back tight and congratulating him over and over. 
“Wait, I’ll be back.” 
You excused yourself from Jeonghan and went on to find the one and only..
“Choi Seungcheol!” You muttered, aggressively making your way over to the ever so sweaty man sipping away at his Hydrorace water bottle. 
“Hey gorgeous” He cheekily smiled at you, pulling the straw away from his lips. You scoffed, annoyed by how calm he seemed after what he pulled out on the track today. 
“Don’t ‘hey gorgeous’ me, what the hell was that on the track today? You know either one of you could have gotten hurt, right?” You were practically fuming. 
“You know I'm smart enough to not let either of us get hurt out there right?” He mimicked your tone. Whatever he said didn’t matter in the moment, you were too heated to even think straight. 
“Talk to me when you’ve calmed down, Y/N.” And with that, he walked away from you. 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
 It was finally time for confrontation. 
You pulled out your phone camera to make sure you look decent enough to confront Seungcheol. Once you made sure you looked okay, you tucked it away in your  back pocket. Taking a deep sigh before knocking on Seungcheol’s hotel room, waiting for him to open the door. “Hey, Cheol…” You greet hesitantly, stepping inside and closing the door behind you, locking it shut just in case.
“Y/n…it’s so nice to see you!” Seungcheol smiled bitterly. “After you practically blew up on me in front of everyone today.” His fake ass smile dropped. 
You grimaced, hiding your face in embarrassment. “Don’t be like that, I just want to apologize.” You offered a small smile. 
“Delta time can be time too late, Y/N.”
If there was an embodiment of a question mark, it would be you right now. “You know I don't understand when you use racing speak, Seungcheol.”
“Delta time…anyway, just, don’t worry about it. I know you made your choice. Especially by the way you just full-named me. ” 
“Cheol-”
“We had a good run, yeah? don’t worry about it.” He smiled, “This doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends though you know. I just want you to be happy even if it’s not with me and with my…teammate.” You could sense the lack of sincerity at the end. Seungcheol was not happy about this and you knew that. 
“Thank you Cheol” You smiled, opening your arms and offering him a hug which he gladly accepted, engulfing you in the most warm hug you’ve ever received from him. 
It wasn’t easy to let Cheol go but you had to do this for Jeonghan. 
You were the first to pull away from the hug. You gave him a smile before turning on your heels. 
“See you at the race on Sunday?” 
“You know it.” 
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
“It’s just me and you baby” Jeonghan breathed against your lips, pinning you up against the wall and relishing in the way you sigh out in relief when he finally presses his lips to yours. “Be as loud as you want love” 
Jeonghan knew damn well it was not just the two of you, somewhere in one of the stalls was Seungcheol. He was about to walk out when he heard you and Jeonghan at the door and ran into a stall to avoid being caught. 
“Please Jeonghan” You whimpered when he pulled away to trail his lips down your neck, “Touch me, please?” 
“I am touching you”  
“Jeonghan” Your voice raises a pitch. Jeonghan can’t stand it, he loves how your squirm and whimper, so desperate to get fucked by him. Something in him loves how pretty you sound when you beg, especially when you scream his name with your eyes rolling back into your head. 
“Please, please fuck me…”
“Shut up.” He groans, proceeding to jackhammer two fingers inside of you. You yelped in surprise, leaning back onto the wall, gripping onto Jeonghan’s arm to hold yourself up. Jeonghan’s other hand trails up and covers your eyes. Hold around your head tight, leaving you more vulnerable to his ministrations. 
“I want your cock Jeonghan, please” He loved that your noises were getting louder but he knew that when you finally got his cock you’d be even louder. Just what he wants for your little audience. Jeonghan halts his fingers in you and smears the wetness all over your aching pussy. 
“Pussy’s so wet for me, know why?” Jeonghan smirks,  “Cause you’re a fucking slut, and all sluts know how to do is take cock.” And without warning, he glides the entirety of his length in at the same time and you were left gasping at the stretch. 
“J-Jeonghan..” you moaned loud, “You’re so fucking big. Oh my fucking God.” Jeonghan chuckled, setting a brutal pace from the start. You could never get tired of fucking Jeonghan, every time with Jeonghan bringing you to a new wave of euphoria even you couldnt fathom. 
“Yeah? Who fucks you this good huh?” Jeonghan wrapped his hand, previously covering your eyes around your throat and applying just enough pressure to make you see stars. “You, Jeonghan! Only you can fuck me this good” His thrusts were sloppy but they were so hard and deep. Tears rolled down your cheeks with every thrust as your body buzzed with pleasure.
“Good fucking girl” He praised, “You’re so good to me aren’t you?” You couldn’t respond. You don’t think you had it in you to say anymore. Just letting moan after moan leave your lips as you writhed under his hold. 
He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling at the way you attempted to kiss him back. 
“My pretty girl, only mine.” 
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thewriteadviceforwriters · 2 months ago
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🔪 3 Plot Twists That Slap (and 1 that should be arrested) 🔪
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hello and welcome back to me yelling on main about storytelling crimes. today we are talking about plot twists. specifically: the good, the god-tier, and the why-would-you-do-this-i-trusted-you tier.
let’s go.
✨ The Twist That Reframes Everything ✨ a.k.a. the “wait. WAIT.” twist. This is when you drop a twist that doesn’t just add drama - it recontextualizes the entire story. It makes the reader go back and reread earlier scenes like “was this character ALWAYS sketchy or am I just stupid??” It retroactively changes the emotional weight of everything that’s happened. Suddenly that offhanded comment in chapter three hits like a brick. The romance subplot becomes 500% more tragic. The villain’s motive makes SENSE now. Delicious.
✅ Best used when: the breadcrumbs are subtle but real. The twist shouldn’t come out of nowhere - it should feel inevitable in hindsight. Like Sixth Sense, Knives Out, that one betrayal in your favorite anime you still haven’t recovered from.
2.🧨 The Emotional Betrayal It’s giving: “i would’ve died for you” energy. This is the kind of twist that hurts. You thought they were loyal. You thought they cared. They did care - and still did it anyway. Or they never cared, and now you’re spiraling. This twist slaps because it’s not just about plot, it’s about trust. It stabs the characters AND the reader in the same motion. Bonus points if it’s a slow burn betrayal. Bonus bonus points if the betrayer feels genuinely torn up about it.
✅ Best used when: the reader is emotionally attached. Don’t waste this one on a side character we barely know. Save it for the love interest. The best friend. The mentor figure with dad energy. Make it personal. Make it RUIN lives.
3. 🧊 The “They Were Dead the Whole Time” but Make It Interesting Listen. This one’s risky. It’s a classic for a reason but also easy to flop. But when done well? Haunting. Creepy. Unhinged in a gorgeous way. It doesn’t have to be death either - maybe the character’s been possessed. Or they’re not real. Or the narrator’s memory is lying. The KEY is to not lean too hard on the shock. Lean on the vibes. Give it eeriness. Make it a slow unraveling. Give us dread. Give us melancholy. Give us psychological decay with a side of unreliable narrator.
✅ Best used when: you’re writing something surreal, gothic, speculative, or emotionally weird. This twist isn’t about plot logic, it’s about atmosphere and emotional rot.
🚨 The Twist That Should Be Arrested: “It Was All a Dream” 🚨 I’m sorry but. no. if I read 80k words of someone’s descent into madness just to find out it was their stress dream and now they’re normal again?? I will throw the entire book into a lake. This twist erases tension instead of escalating it. It invalidates everything the reader emotionally invested in. It’s the narrative equivalent of gaslighting. don’t do it. UNLESS - and this is a big unless - you’re doing it with INTENT. Meta intent. Dream-within-a-dream psychological horror intent. If you’re gonna do it, it better haunt me. It better RUIN me. Otherwise? Into the lake.
okay that’s all. go forth and commit plot crimes responsibly. bonus points if you use all three Good Twists in the same story and then look me in the eye like “oh was that too much?”
it wasn’t.
tag me when you emotionally destroy someone with it.
🕯️ download the pack & write something cursed:
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drafts-and-delusions · 20 days ago
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i saw that requests were open and I've had this thought for forever! I was having a Disney movie marathon with my sister and let me tell ya I forgot how gorgeous they made the character like I'm in Li Shang's walls rn. I was wondering if you could to the saja boys watching Disney movies and reader is basically making heart eyes at the screen lmaooo
Love you and your writing! I hope your day is as amazing as you 😘😘
Watching Disney movies with them
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Tags: gn!reader, jealousy, fluff, humor, Disney references
this was so fun to write eheheh
🎀 Masterlist  💄 Request Guidelines
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Jinu
You knew it would happen. The second General Li Shang takes off his shirt during that iconic training montage, you were holding your breath like it was muscle-induced hypnosis.
Jinu didn’t miss a beat. He turned toward you with the slow, disappointed stare of a man betrayed. “...Seriously?”
You tried to feign innocence, but the sheer sparkle in your eyes was already screaming, “step on me, General Shang.”
He crossed his arms. It only made things worse. “He’s not even real.”
You nodded at his legs. “Like your quads?”
He sighed in that way guys do when they’re pretending to be unbothered but are also squeezing their quads like it’ll manifest more muscle.
Later that night, you caught him rewatching the same scene alone. He flinched when you walked in. “Research,” he muttered, clearly avoiding eye contact.
The next day, he just happened to be doing squats in front of the TV while Shang was on screen, legs shaking a little.
Romance
You’re watching the first half of The Princess and the Frog when Big Daddy LaBouff starts laughing–big, booming, full of Southern charm. He’s all personality; confident in a rich, humble, lovable way that just fills the screen. You’re grinning like an idiot, cheeks puffed, eyes glazed over like you’re watching a romcom lead enter stage left.
Romance notices.
He squints at you out of the corner of his eye, dramatic as ever. “Why are you smiling like that?”
You brush him off with a little wave. “He’s just so charismatic. And sweet. And rich.”
Romance pauses the movie.
“Charismatic? I’m charismatic. Sweet? I’m sweet. I’ve got, like, three rings on right now.”
Before you can respond, he grabs a throw pillow and lobs it at your face. Then he shifts his weight, sits up straighter, and puts on the worst Southern accent you’ve ever heard.
“Darlin’, you ever need a mansion and a shrimp gumbo, you just come to ol’ Romance now, y’hear?”
You burst into laughter, legs kicking, nearly sliding off the couch entirely. He’s still going, hand on his chest like he’s mid-monologue.
It’s not real jealousy, not really. It’s the kind of performative drama you’ve come to expect. He’s not threatened by some animated Southern gentleman, but he’s absolutely going to make it a competition anyway. If some cartoon can make you smile, Romance is going to out-charm him just to prove he can do it better.
Abby
You're quiet through the whole movie. Not a single peep. No commentary, no snark, not even a hum of a laugh. Except when King Triton is on the screen.
Your eyes start to sparkle. Your posture straightens. You blink once, twice, like you're suddenly really paying attention. Abby doesn’t miss a thing.
“...You good?” he asks, side-eyeing you.
You nod way too fast. Suspiciously fast. “Yep. Fine. Totally fine.”
Triton raises his trident; your mouth parts slightly in awe. Abby immediately hits pause.
“Is this your type?” he asks.
You try to shrug it off, but your face betrays you. “I mean... he’s powerful, commanding, has long hair, abs… he’s literally a king.”
Abby stares at you for a beat, then smirks. “So you're into daddies. Noted.”
Before you can protest, he’s already tossing an imaginary mane over his shoulder (which he doesn’t have), striking a ridiculous pose like he’s posing for an ocean deity calendar. “Should I grow a beard? Start yelling at fish? Wear a crown?”
You roll your eyes, but you're also laughing too hard to stop him.
Later that evening, you catch him at the sink–shirtless, back flexed, water running. He’s humming the Little Mermaid soundtrack.
Mystery
You’re curled up beside him on the couch, The Lion King flickering across the screen in warm, nostalgic hues. It’s the scene. That scene where Scar leans over Mufasa with a glint in his eye and betrayal in his bones. Your elbows are on your knees; you’re laser-focused, practically radiating heart-eyes.
“...Long live the king,” Scar growls.
You’re blushing, giggling even. The dramatics, the cadence, the confidence. Scar might be a villain, but he’s putting on a show, and you're here for it.
Mystery shifts beside you, side-eyeing your very obvious emotional spiral. “You’re into him?” he grunts.
You try to shrug it off. “He’s just so theatrical. Smart. Kinda commanding?”
Mystery doesn’t blink. Just stares at you like you've told him you’re in love with wet cardboard.
Then he leans in; his voice is low, gravelly. “I could be dramatic too.”
You don’t have time to react before he says it, mimicking Scar’s exact tone, deadpan as ever. “Long live the king.”
It’s honestly the most expression you’ve ever seen from him. Not a full transformation, but for a guy who rarely talks, it’s groundbreaking.
You tease him about it later. He doesn’t respond.
But later that night, you hear the bathroom door click shut. The mirror light flicks on. And from down the hall, just barely audible over the fan?
“Long... live... the king.”
He is definitely practicing in there.
Baby
Prince Phillip appears onscreen, dancing in the woods with Aurora, and you are swooning. Like, actually swooning. The kind with clasped hands and sparkling eyes.
Baby notices immediately. His pout could win awards.
“Bro is so basic,” he scoffs. “He has one move and it’s be handsome.”
You glance at him with a dreamy grin. “Yeah. And it works.”
He makes a noise like he’s been mortally wounded. Then, with the flair of someone who’s probably been waiting for this opportunity all movie long, he throws himself across your lap and blocks the screen entirely.
“You’re out here fantasizing about some two-dimensional prince while I’m literally right here. In glorious pajamas.”
Later, when the credits roll, he’s pulling his hoodie over his head like a turtle retreating into its shell.
“Whatever,” he mutters. “I’d slay a dragon for you too. Just sayin’.”
The next day, you catch him stabbing a couch cushion with a broom while muttering something about heroics. When you ask, he looks up and says, deadly serious,  “See? I’m heroic too.”
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youngheejay · 7 months ago
Text
Winter mornings and weird misunderstandings
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You just wanted Sunghoon to buy you some pads, but he’s a little silly bf
Starring: Sunghoon x fem!reader [fairly new established relationship]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sharp pain in your lower abdomen disturbed your peaceful sleep.
You glanced at the clock confused. It was 6:56 am, why did you wake up so early? Frustrated, you buried your face in your fluffy pillow. You had hoped that you could’ve slept in on your well deserved rest day. The comfort of your blanket and pillow made you want to bury yourself in your bed but God had a different plan.
On cue, another pain shot through your lower stomach.
This is going to kill me.
You really didn’t want to leave your warm and cozy blanket, knowing well enough that as soon as you escaped your cocoon you’d be met with the cold reality of a winter morning.
After convincing yourself that you’ll be able to sleep more comfortably after going to the bathroom, you started to unravel yourself from the thick blanket. Only then you realised that something was holding you down. A heavy and familiar, yet unusual and odd weight rested on your waist.
Afraid and slightly in panic, you slowly but steadily turned your head to the side. The sight in front of you melted your heart instantly and you had to suppress a chuckle from escaping.
Gosh, I’m so stupid. How could I forget?
You wished you could’ve taken a picture so that this scene would last you an eternity. But you knew if you moved away to grab your phone he’d wake up and ruin the moment. So instead of reaching out for your phone, you carefully made yourself more comfortable and looked at your boyfriend with fond eyes.
There he laid with the sweetest pout on his lips, his cheek squished against the pillow and his eyebrows softly furrowed in a cute manner.
You had to suppress the urge to squeeze his squishy and roundish cheeks. Your heart was full of love and adoration for the man laying beside you.
Pursing your lips, you dared to lightly brush away the strand of hair that fell directly on his closed eye. You couldn’t resist it so you also caressed his face faintly with the tips of your fingers, hoping this wouldn’t wake him up.
Luckily, the only response you got was a soft grunt.
Due to his very high demanding profession as an idol you often times were restrained from some quality boyfriend-girlfriend time.
So moments like these were a true treasure. Especially seeing him so soft and peaceful on a sunday morning. Normally, sunday mornings were spent at some kind of filming or broadcast studio for sunghoon.
When your boyfriend told you yesterday that he’ll be sleeping over at your apartment, you couldn’t help but let out a high pitched squeal.
“I’ll be yours the whole day tomorrow since I don’t have any schedules.” He had whispered against your lips with a faint smirk. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were.
You let out a soft sigh, you felt so happy and content. In response, his muscular, but heavy arm tightened around you ever so slightly. This was a reminder to you to not make any noises.
Your boyfriend was a super light sleeper when he slept next to you. Even though it was a very rare occurrence that you spent the night together he somehow managed to instantly develop this sleeping habit.
It was a really weird thing that you made notice of. Because, whenever you found him asleep in his own bed at his dorm it was an impossible task to wake him up. He just wouldn’t butch.
His dear members also testified that he was a heavy sleeper and that they had a hard time waking him up.
But only after four months into your relationship you realised how severe the difference was.
The difference being: him sleeping alone vs. with you.
Whenever he fell asleep with you by his side he woke up at the slightest signs of you waking up or your discomfort. It seemed like he had a sixth’s sense when it came to you and his protectiveness over you awoke him even from the deepest slumber.
Fortunately, it got a little better the more you slept together. Now, you could turn around freely and even slightly caress him, without him waking up. As long as you were in his arms everything seemed fine to his subconscious instincts. But as soon as you slipped out of his arms he immediately woke up and yearned for your warm presence.
As cute as this observation was, it also worried you that maybe he wasn’t resting properly whenever you slept next to him. It was an obvious fact that your boyfriend was really overprotective and was concerned for you 24/7. Thus, you had to train him little by little so he could at least be relaxed while he’s asleep.
However, you did have a quite good achievement the last time he spent the night with you. You had managed to escape his hold and got yourself a glass of water. It made you very proud - maybe more at your ninja skills than of him.
Right now you had a difficult mission ahead:
Go to the bathroom and prepare yourself for your period. And if you were lucky you could even make yourself a warm bottle without him noticing anything. This would be true perfection. A new milestone in your relationship of 6 months.
And you believed that this was possible - luck shall be on your side. After all, sunghoon was exhausted from the recently finished promotions of his groups comeback. Hence, there’s a high possibility that he wouldn’t wake up like last time.
You took a deep breath. Focus, y/n. You’ve got this.
Little by little you took small steps to escape his embrace. With every movement of yours you looked at his expression with upmost concentration. Every micro movement of his was crucial for this mission.
And when you actually managed to slip out of his arms you couldn’t feel more excited. Wow, this is a really big step in your relationship. That’s the second time he didn’t stirred awake from you leaving the bed. Will this be the new norm from now onwards?
You only stood up from the bed when you were certain that he was still sleeping.
When you checked that the coast was clear you tiptoed out of your bedroom and softly opened the bathroom door.
Slowly and quietly, you closed the door and tried to be quick with your business.
Great, ugh, I already got my period. You hoped that you didn’t stain the bedsheets.
Whatever, you quickly wanted to clean yourself up and cuddle with your boyfriend. That’s why boyfriends exist, right?
When you opened the cabinet in your bathroom your heart dropped.
No, no, no, no.
This couldn’t be happening.
You were out of pads.
You scoffed to yourself ironically. Great.
What do I do??
You couldn’t just quickly go out to buy some. The next store was only a 15 minute walk but it was freezing and snowing so much outside.
You could take sunghoon’s car, since you didn’t own one yourself. But you cringed internally, thinking about going out while blood is running down your legs. And you’d probably stain the seat of his car. Not to mention that you had to clean up all of the fresh snow first.
You felt like crying. Why does stuff like this always happen to you? Ugh.
The pain became unbearable and your legs felt too weak. Even if you weren’t bleeding too much right now, you just weren’t feeling well. You needed to lay down.
The realisation of your current bloody situation kicked in.
You had to do something quickly.
Should I ask sunghoon?
But you just felt so shy. Sunghoon was your first boyfriend and your relationship was fairly new. It didn’t help that you didn’t get to spend so much time together yet, which is why your shyness towards him was still highly present.
What if he is disgusted by me? Or maybe he’ll get angry because he doesn’t want to buy these stuff? Or maybe he’ll even get mad because I woke him up because of this?
You had heard about stories like these. You already felt too vulnerable right now, you certainly wouldn’t be able to handle rejection.
But then you thought that this was sunghoon that you were thinking about.
Not some random dude you found on the streets. He always took good care of you. And he was definitely not some douchebag who wouldn’t help his girlfriend when she needed him the most.
Since the beginning of your relationship he had been nothing but a sweetheart towards. It wouldn’t be fair towards him to just assume that he wouldn’t want to help you if you have an emergency.
Nonetheless, you were a nervous wreck when you quietly made your way to your bedroom. With a thumping heart you went to his side.
“Hoonie?” You whispered so quietly that you’d be surprise if he woke up from that.
When he didn’t react, you caressed his arm a little and whispered his nickname again, this time a tiny bit louder: “hoonie, wake up, please.”
His eyes shot open widely and he reacted instantly as he abruptly sat up. His sudden movement startled you a little.
He recognised your stressed face and immediately furrowed his eyebrows in concern. His protective nature was shown instantly.
“What’s wrong, princess?” He rasped with his deep morning voice.
In response you gave him a nervous smile and played with the hem of your shirt.
Sunghoon immediately understood that something is wrong and pulled you by your arm towards him. You landed in his lap ungraciously and immediately squirmed around. You wanted to stand up because you weren’t wearing any pads but he tightened his hold around you with his strong arms.
“Baby, are you okey? Are you hurt?” He caressed one of his hand all over your body - as if to check for any injuries.
When he didn’t see anything his eyes quickly darted to the clock.
“No, everything is alright, hoonie,” you mumbled quietly, hoping he wasn’t mad at you. At the same time a sharp pain shot through your lower stomach, causing you to lay your hand on the area as you tried to act nonchalantly.
Of course, sunghoon noticed it immediately and put his hand over yours.
“I’m sorry I woke you up…” you searched for a way to tell him what you wanted from him.
Subconsciously, you took his warm hand in yours and pressed it against the area from where the discomfort blossomed.
Sunghoon squinted his eyes ever so slightly in confusion and rubbed the area under your bellybutton with the softest motions.
“It’s ok, honey,” simultaneously, he rubbed your back with his other hand. As you enjoyed the warmth his action was providing, you grabbed his arm from behind and dragged it down to your lower back, where you needed it the most.
You sighed softly, enjoying the comfort your boyfriend was providing and without noticing it, you leaned into his chest. Sunghoon also automatically leaned back on the headboard - albeit his state of mind was everything but relaxed.
You rested there in his lap - feeling so safe and comfortable and also completely oblivious to the chaos you caused in your boyfriend’s head.
Sunghoon was really confused on why you woke him up so early in the morning. Heck, he couldn’t understand why you would be awake this early on a Sunday morning. And the way you looked at him - something was definitely wrong.
He started to rack his brain with every single possibility of a problem you could be having right now. He wasn’t able to think that far as his brain was still fogged with sleep.
But then it suddenly clicked.
Fuck.
His heart dropped into his stomach.
She’s pregnant.
Sunghoons eyes darted towards his hand on your belly. Why else would she put my hand there?
His eyes widened in shock but he quickly tried to cover up his reaction and buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Sunghoon felt his neck and ears heat up in embarrassment and frustration. Fuck, how could this happen?
What am I gonna do?
Fuck it. You’re the man in this relationship, Park Sunghoon. Get your shit together.
“Baby, look at me,” he demanded after he mentally gave himself a pep-talk and pulled himself together.
“I think I know what’s going on,” he continued and cupped your face with his hands.
“Really?” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Yes, and I want you to know that it’s ok. Everything will be just fine, alright?”
You pouted in awe, “so you’re not mad at me?”
“Of course not, princess. Why would I be mad, baby?”
“I don’t know…” you mumbled, “because I woke you up so early in this morning?”
“Are for you real? I’m really glad that you woke me up. You know, we’re a team, y/n. We’re in this together,” he tried his best to soothe you.
“You’re so cute. Thank you, darling,” you pecked his lips, feeling grateful to have such a sweet boyfriend.
Just as you were about to pull away he closed the gap between your lips again and kissed you passionately.
You were stunned, not expecting him to kiss you with so much energy but of course you wanted to return the favour.
Sunghoon only pulled away slightly so his lips still lingered close enough to yours.
“Don’t thank me, baby, this my duty. I’ll always take care of you. Your comfort and needs are my top priority. Especially in this kind of situation.” Your heart melted hearing these heart touching words from sunghoon.
When he noticed that your eyes teared up a little, he instantly put his large and warm hand on your cheek and stroke it with his thumb.
“Don’t cry. You’re my strong girl, aren’t you?” You nodded in agreement with a determined look on your face. He’s right, I am strong.
No period pain in this world will take me down this easily. You felt a boost of confidence.
“To be honest, hoonie, at first I was really scared to share this with you. It’s just that this is such a sensitive topic to me as - you know - I always heard all of these stories were the boyfriend gets mad at the girl. And since you’re my first boyfriend - I don’t know - I was never in a situation like this before with a man. I just felt really insecure for a moment. But I’m so grateful I have you to share this with - it can be a really exhausting issue.”
Sunghoon cooed at hearing your deepest feelings - just not about the thing he was thinking of.
“It’s natural to be scared at first. But I’m glad you didn’t let your initial feelings get between us,” he then chuckled lightly, feeling his heart a little lighter than before, “can I be straightforward with you?” You nodded your head immediately, your big round eyes encouraging him to speak.
“When I realised it, not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked. Like I never thought about this before. And I know that our relationship is fairly new, but it’s okay, as long as we have each other, everything is going to be okey. Don’t worry your pretty little head. We’ll go through this together. There’s no need to hide things from each other, alright?”
You felt deeply touched by his words again, with a pout on your face you wrapped your arms around your boyfriends neck. “I’m so lucky that I have you,” you confessed sincerely as you nuzzled your face in his neck.
“I’m the lucky one, babe. I’ll always be there for you. And of course it’s my responsibility to take care of you.“ He took a deep breath as the severity of the situation settled in. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared and shitting his pants right now - heck, he felt his pulse pounding up in his ears.
He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. Fuck. This is too crazy.
But then he reminded himself that he had you in his arms and that he couldn’t let his fears and worries transfer to you. You were too vulnerable right now in this state.
He took one big breath before he started to speak again: “As long as you have me, you don’t have to worry about anything in this world, alright, princess? That’s what you are to me - my own beautiful princess.” He kissed your forehead as if his words weren’t enough to make you emotional.
The only thing you were able to say was a soft, “I love you.” You didn’t even notice that you started to cry - you just couldn’t believe that you doubted your boyfriends kindness for even more than a second. Sunghoon tightened his embrace around you.
“I love you too. More than you can imagine…” he whispered the last past as if it wasn’t meant for you to hear.
“And of course,” he added, and before he continued he put his hand back to the place he was caressing before.
He hesitated for a moment, letting his brain process the new information.
Then he continued with a stable and confident voice: “Of course I love this little one also.”
You titled your head to side.
What?
“What?” You repeated out loud and leaned back.
When Sunghoon looked at you you realised that there was a shimmer of tears reflecting in his eyes. You have never seen him cry before - what the actual fuck.
After he didn’t respond to you, you hesitantly asked:
“You love… my… uterus?”
For a second sunghoons brain stopped working. He was stunned at your boldness - flabbergasted even.
“Baby, what are you saying?” His bewildered glance made you really shy and even embarrassed as if you were the one who said something weird.
“I-“ you wanted to say something but you were too taken aback to form a sentence.
You slightly hit his chest, “hoonie!!” you whined, “what are you talking about?”
“I’m- babe, wait- I’m so confused right now.” He squinted his eyes at you - his expression screamed for help.
“I’m obviously talking about our baby!!” He exclaimed in desperation.
“What?!” You matched his tone, “what baby??”
“Mine! I mean yours! No- I mean ours! The one I put inside your belly!” Sunghoon stuttered - he was utterly bewildered and felt his ears heat up in embarrassment to say it out loud like this.
“Are you saying I’m pregnant?!” You whined loudly in disbelief, not trusting your ears.
All of the sudden sunghoon got quiet real quick.
“…no.”
“Yes you are!!” You gasped dramatically and clasped your hand at your mouth. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you!! You really thought I’m pregnant?!”
“Park Sunghoon!” You hit his chest, “why would you think I’m pregnant???”
“Wait- I can explain, Baby-“
Hit
“Baby!!”
Hit
“Ahh!!”
Hit
“Don’t hit me, ba-!!”
Hit
Just as you were about to hit him again he quickly caught your wrist. “Princess- please let me explain!”
“It better be a good explanation, sunghoon! I can’t believe you thought I was pregnant! Do you even know what would happen if this was real?! We both would be dead! You’d get killed by your fans and I’d get killed by mom!!”
“I know-“
You cut him off again: “Why would you think this??? Are you saying I look pregnant?? Oh my god, don’t you dare answer this, Park Sunghoon!”
“No, bunny! It’s nothing like this I swear!”
You gave him a suspicious look.
“You woke me up at 7 in the morning, didn’t tell me what’s going on and you only put my hand on your belly! I assumed this because there isn’t any other plausible explanation, please!”
You huffed and puffed up your cheeks as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and turned away from you boyfriend.
Sunghoon laughed slightly as his eyebrows shot up in disbelief: “Don’t be mad now.”
“I’m not mad,” you sulked like a child.
“Will you please tell me then what’s going on? Otherwise I’ll be the one who’s ‘not mad’.”
You rolled your eyes and mumbled: “I got my periodandIneedyoutobuysomepadsbecauseI’mout”
“Y/n.” He demanded, raising one eyebrow.
You turned around to look at him. Your cheeks were red and sunghoon felt a rush of cuteness aggression - if you were in another situation he would have definitely bit them.
“I got my period!” You said in an annoyed tone.
“Oh okey,” he nodded and breathed out of relief. Thank God.
“Yes! The complete opposite from what you assumed!“
“Why did you - and I really don’t want to sound like a jerk - but why did you wake me up? To tell me this?”
You rolled your eyes harder than before: “well, you do sound like a jerk. I’m in pain, alright?”
“Okey… do you want… I don’t know… cuddles?” Your boyfriend offered carefully as he still couldn’t figure out what you wanted from him.
“Of course, sunghoon! That’s what you always do! You know this already. You unlocked level 2 of ‘boyfriend’ like 4 months ago! But before we’ll cuddle you’ll go to the store and buy me pads and snacks!”
“Oh okey…” he nodded again slightly.
After a few moments passed he looked at you with wide and horrified eyes.
“What?!” He bursted out fearfully.
——
After calming him down and explaining to him your situation and what he needed to do, he was ready. Ready to be a man and buy his woman the pink packaged pads with wings.
Only for you to realise that you had a tiny problem.
“Don’t.” You muttered as you quickly pressed yourself into sunghoon, clinging onto his neck like a monkey and restraining him from standing up.
“What’s wrong?” He wrapped his large hands around your waist.
“We have another problem.” Your cheeks heated up. Sunghoon raised his eyebrow in question. “Please don’t be mad. I know it’s disgusting but I think I stained your trousers,” you blabbered embarrassed.
“Stained? How?” He was deeply confused - for the 50th time today and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.
“Babe…” you knew he was just a man when you purchased him but you didn’t know how bad his knowledge about menstruation was, “women bleed, like a lot. And I know when I stand up, you’ll be shocked to see how badly I bleed. Since I couldn’t wear my pads it just soaked through my clothes and stained yours. You know, since I’ve been sitting on your lap for quite a while now. I don’t even have to check, I already know it. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okey, ha ha.” He tried to act nonchalantly but his face gave it away - he was mortified.
“Babe, it’s okey, you don’t have to act tough. I know it’s disgusting. I’m also disgusted every time it happens.” You put your small hand on his cheek and that’s when sunghoon snapped out of his fear and pulled himself together.
Suddenly he hooked his one arm under your legs and the other went behind your back. He stood up abruptly from the bed causing you to screech in surprise as your hold onto him got tighter.
He then carried you bridal style towards the bathroom.
“What are you doing, hoonie?” You asked startled.
“I understand where you’re coming from. Blood is kinda… disgusting. But you go through this every month. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this part of you because I’d be disgusted.” He kicked the bathroom door open, “I want to show you that I love every side of you. Whether you’re sick, tired, mad - or bleeding like Mother Nature wants you to.”
He sat on the edge of bathtub with you sitting again on his lap, “I want to be there for you, no matter what you’re going through.”
Then he turned the faucet on and checked the water temperature with the hand that was holding your legs before he turned back to you. The same hand was now resting against your cheek as he made you look at him.
“I don’t want to be that kind of boyfriend where the girlfriend is in pain or is having some kind of crisis and she feels like she can’t tell him about it because he’d be mad or disgusted. That would be the worst thing actually.” The look he gave you expressed so much sincerity. The intensity of it radiated his love for you immensely.
You didn’t know what to answer him.
“What did I do to deserve such a sweet and loving boyfriend?” You pouted with teary eyes - your heart was aching with pure love and devotion for your boyfriend.
“I know what you did,” he smirked lightly as he leaned into your lips. You were too hypnotised to answer him, so when he pressed his soft lips against yours he whispered against them: “you were being an angel waiting patiently for your man.”
——
Following your session of soft kisses and giggles, sunghoon took off your clothes and helped you into the warm tub full of bubbles.
He then quickly took a shower while you were enjoying his singing from the tub.
“I’ll be back real quick, babe.” He kissed your forehead fully clothed again, ready to meet the cold outside.
“Alrighty, I love you so much and drive carefully! It’s icy on the roads!”
“I will, honey, don’t worry. I love you more.”
—————
You were cuddling with your boyfriend on your coach and were enjoying his warmth and some hot chocolate, when all of the sudden he spoke up:
“So, I’m at level 2 of ‘boyfriend’?”
You chuckled: “No, silly, you reached level 2 when we were together for 2 months. When you cuddled me for the first time while I was crying.”
“Then, what about now?”
“Today you jumped from 5 to 10.”
“Really?” Sunghoon was surprised, and of course proud of himself.
You hummed in response.
“And at what level do I get the privilege to ask you to marry me?”
You looked at your steaming cup, hesitating a little.
After a few moments of silence, you whispered:
“10.”
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© youngheejay 2025 | do not repost or plagiarize.
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butterymangowrites · 10 months ago
Text
ten years in the making
paring: bakugou katsuki x fem reader
warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, no-quirks au, high school love confession, unrequited love turned very requited, almost non-con threesome, feels like cheating (but technically not), no cheating though, fuck boi bakugou, pining reader, obsessive/possessive bakugou, running away, biting, marking, creampie, breeding kink, angst, toxic relationship
word count: 6.2k
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You still had the love letter you handed to him when you were both in high school. His spiky blonde hair was pretty under the spring sun, red eyes examining the envelope in your hands with a disgusted look on his face. 
On the rooftop of the school building, the wind blew extra hard. The chill of winter that lingered in the breeze made your face cold, but it was the rejection from Katsuki that numbed your whole body. 
“Take that shit away,” he sneered. “Be lame somewhere else. I don’t like you.” 
It was pathetic how you fixated on him because he helped you once from a petty thief who tried to steal your wallet. You shouldn’t have liked him that much, not when he was so clear in his stance on how he felt about you. But you were also just a girl, and girls had crushes on Bakugou Katsuki—you were just one of many, but no doubt the most pathetic one. 
Cause while others grew out of their crushes eventually, you did not. And Katsuki, being the spawn of the devil that he was, started to see you as some sort of entertainment. 
You followed him through university, enrolling in the same one. You begged your mom to stay at a dorm near campus, the same dorm Katsuki told you he would stay in. He lied. You knew on the moving day because he texted you photos of his new place from the front of the building to the room with an obviously different layout. 
The text said, ‘lol you really thought u got me huh?’ 
That sentence needed commas, and you… needed to get a grip. Yet, you did not. 
Still trying to be close to him, you went to every party he went to, even if it meant you had to see him with a different woman each time. He never stuck with one, telling you he was easily bored and that was why you and him would never happen. Because you were a soppy, hopeless romantic who would wait for him like a dog waiting for its owner to come home—his words. 
“When will it get through your thick skull, dog?” Katsuki rapped on your forehead with his knuckles. “You’re not my type.” 
Well, his type exited the room just now, leaving only you and a very naked Katsuki in it. He loomed over you menacingly close, trying once again to talk some sense into you, albeit in a very mean fashion. Tonight, he was particularly cruel. After texting you to buy him a box of condoms—stating a specific brand, flavor, and size—he made you sit and watch until the very end. 
You pretended to pay attention, but what you really looked at was the wall behind the scene playing in front of you. 
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at ten.” You changed the subject, ignoring his hot breath that fanned over your face.
“Yeah, mom misses you like hell,” he jeered. “How did you do it, inserting yourself into my family?” 
It was simple, actually, just offering to drive him home for a monthly family visit with a gift for his mom and dad every time, without fail, even though he got his own car. His mom, Mitsuki, never trusted his driving skills anyway, saying he was too reckless. So she was grateful for you, to the point of inviting you over for dinner as thanks whenever you dropped her son home, and you accepted the kindness. 
Katsuki would roll his eyes, but he let it all happen, cause why would he say no to a personal chauffeur? All he had to do was sit prettily and blast his one-hour playlist until the car was parked in front of his childhood abode. And after eating and helping with the dishes, you would be gone, back to your own family house a couple of streets away—convenient. 
You knew you were just a tool to Katsuki, his lackey, but you were also as stubborn as a mule. 
And as dumb as a clown… 
After many years hounding for Katsuki’s attention, you finally got it when you were both twenty five. The first time he kissed you, he was drunk in your apartment. He was frustrated with a colleague who screwed up an important meeting with a potential client and decided to come rant your ears off with two packs of beer—one for him, one for you. 
You never thought the night would end up with him pinning you to the floor, his mouth devouring yours and his hands popping the buttons of your work shirt until your bra-clad tits showed. 
“Thought you would follow me anywhere,” said Katsuki, red eyes locked onto you from where he was, face nestled between the soft mounds of your breasts. “But you chose a different company, live far away from me, texting seven times in seven months. Traitor.” 
“You’re heavy.” Your words struggled to come out. From when he used to be lanky and the same height as you, he was none of that now. The growth spurt hit him like a freight train. In the blink of an eye, he grew into a giant of a man, tall and filled with muscles, even more so now that he was in his salaryman era. You wondered how he still found time to work out as often as he did when you barely caught any sleep. 
After graduation, you both landed jobs in different companies. And if you were being honest with yourself, you would say the reason you accepted the offer was partly because running after Katsuki and answering his every beck and call started to… tire you. Forced by duty and responsibility, it helped you distance yourself away from him. Cause Lord, you doubted you could have done it on your own.
Getting his text today saying he would come visit, you were dumbfounded, even thinking it was a joke til you got another text an hour later saying he arrived.
You shouldn’t have let him in, shouldn’t have reconnected. You were almost off the noose before he came and adjusted the knot, tightening it. After that night, he came visit once a week on Friday. Kisses slowly evolved into soft touches, then heavy petting, and finally—sex. 
Fucking your brain out, that was what he did most of the times, leaving your ass red and face wet from crying. On rare occasions, it was slow, deep, like he wanted to mold you into the shape of his cock. But all was intense, asking for eye contact and name-saying, and it was Katsuki who did the asking, which surprised you to no end. 
“You wanna come home? Mom and dad miss you,” mumbled Katsuki one autumn night. It had been three months since that first drunken kiss. “They got a new dog. But old people are always lonely, hell knows why.”
With that, not only him, but the monthly visit returned, too. 
Their dog was a loudmouthed chihuahua named Katsumi. It barked at you non-stop from the moment you got out of the car, louder when Mitsuki raced out the front door to hug you. After dinner, it found you and Katsuki in the laundry room with its master’s teeth nibbling down your neck and barked snappily, making Katsuki jump.
When you let out a roar of laughter, his eyes widened with a look of what seemed like wonder. His pupils dilated when he leaned down to take your lips in a fierce kiss. For a moment, everything was perfect. 
Had you mentioned being dumb? 
A month later, there was a knock on your door. Katsuki hips slowed down mid-pounding before he stepped back from you and the bed, leaving you empty. 
“Keep your ass up. Don’t fucking move.”
You only let out a soft hum as a response, not understanding why or who would be here at this hour. Were you too loud? Maybe someone was here to complain. You pondered, face still down against the soft mattress with your rear up as instructed. Katsuki would handle them, whoever they were. 
“Well, I see why you never call anymore, Katsuki-kun.” 
The voice was close, too close—its owner was in the bedroom with you. When the realization hit, you bolted, shooting out of your position and scooting back, all the while pulling the duvet up to shield your nakedness from the newcomer’s eyes.
She was a woman about your age and height, standing at the foot of the bed in a skimpy dress. 
“Do me a favor. Shut the fuck up,” said Katsuki, confirming they really did know each other. 
It was like your brain stopped functioning. You saw Katsuki walking towards you but was too slow to think what your next move should be. So you let him pull you to him by the duvet because you wouldn’t let go of it. When he sat you on his lap, you felt something wet gliding down your cheeks.
“Hush now, princess.” He wiped the dripping drops with both of his thumbs. “You seriously thought our relationship was exclusive? You thought you fixed me?” 
Another set of fat tears cascaded down when he kissed you, seasoning the kiss salty. 
“Seven months, seven texts, no calls,” he said. “Who do you think you fucking are, leaving me like that?”
You knew, you knew it was too good to be true. And when he turned to the other side to kiss the woman who was now naked and sitting on the bed—your bed–beside him, you also knew it was time to let go. The silly crush, the well-kept love letter, the admiration that you should have weaned off long ago—they all needed to go. 
Getting up from his lap while he was distracted, you gathered your clothes off the floor and left the bedroom without turning back. You got dressed in the living room and closed the front door silently when you left the apartment. You didn’t want him to hear, not wanting to cause a scene, not wanting to see him anymore. 
You were sitting in the car in the apartment parking lot, trying to find a hotel to crash at when you got a text from Katsuki.
‘you thought you got me huh?’ 
You blocked him. 
There was only a month left on your apartment’s lease; you would give a notice to your landlord tomorrow that you would move. Everything would be alright, you told yourself. Katsuki might never bother you anymore since he had got what he wanted—your absolute humiliation.
It was different from that one time he told you to stay and watch him rail the life out of that girl when you were in college. At that time, you knew you were nothing to him, knew he did that to hurt you. This time, you thought you were something to him. And it hurt, a thousand times worse to realize that you weren’t, and that he still wanted to hurt you. 
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
Those were the only words spinning around in his head since you were gone, really gone. You walked out of that door so fucking demurely. Even when he stopped kissing his ex-booty call to listen, he didn’t hear you wail or see you come crawling back. 
So he texted, leaving the girl he called here to demean you to quickly type on his phone. When the message was marked ‘read’ but got no response, he cursed, “Fuck!” 
“Come on, Katsuki-kun. Let’s have some fun,” the girl whined. 
“Sh!” He shushed her, still tapping the screen.  
She probably looked at him like he was possessed by an evil spirit, but he couldn’t care less. 
‘Who did you think you were? My gf? Lol.’
He was so in a hurry he forgot to type in lowercase. 
‘Lovesick foll’
‘*fool’
‘Where u going’
‘Dont wanna watch’
‘?’
You didn’t read at all except for the first text. That made him get off the bed and get dressed, running out of the apartment to punch the elevator down to the first floor. When he exited the building, your sedan was already on the street; he saw the taillights, remembered the plate. It got farther in each second that passed, and there was not a darn thing he could do about it. 
Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck shit, fucking fuck. 
For some reason he knew, this time, you were gone for good. Not an absence the next day at school after he told you he lost his virginity to some girl in another class, not the seven months with a few texts to check in with him. This time, it was for good. 
Like hell he was gonna let that happen. 
You ended up staying at the hotel for a week, scared Katsuki might still be lurking around. While you knew he got his biggest fill of breaking you this time, you wanted to be sure. Then, as soon as you found a new place, you moved out. 
At work, you asked your boss, Aizawa, for a transfer to another branch, telling him it was for personal reasons. You swore you saw him squint his weary eyes, but after asking you a couple more questions, he agreed nonetheless.
“If it were stress, it’d be no different in another branch. Hope you know that,” Aizawa drawled. 
“I do, sir,” you replied, tired from the poor quality of sleep your situation and the hotel bed gave you. 
“And as soon as possible, you say?”
“Yes, sir,” you affirmed. “Please.” 
The transfer was done in one week, all thanks to your boss. 
Restarting your mundane life, it took two months for you to regain some sort of peace found in everyday’s routine—waking up, going to work, coming home, sleeping, waking up again. There was no contact from Katsuki, only the ghost of his taunts that came hand in hand with the memories of his caresses you could not dispel remained, making guilt creep up your spine every time you touched yourself to climax imagining it was his hand. 
You would find someone else. You and Katsuki, it was ten years in the making. You were fifteen years old on that rooftop, confessing to a boy you thought was the most beautiful person in the world, having no clue how your action would play out. It would not be possible to banish those ten years in two months, no matter how despicable he was to you. And that was a shame. 
It took one phone call from Mitsuki to disrupt your normalcy. 
“I just wanted to know how you were doing, honey.” said Katsuki’s mom, sounding worried. “It’s just—you’re gone again, like those months. And Katsuki won’t tell me what’s going on, which means something must have happened. I need to—I—”
She was trying to find words, and you didn’t want to interrupt. 
“I need to know you’re okay.” She finally let it out. “Just come visit, honey. You don’t have to bring my son.”
“We miss you.” 
It was those words that brought you to the Bakugou house the following weekend. 
“Oh, honey.” Misuki stopped before you, eyeing you from head to toe. Katsumi barked incessantly, all the while trying to sniff the bag of fresh-baked cookies you bought for the family. When the woman beckoned you to come close and enfolded you in her arms, you teared up a bit. 
“That airhead of a son,” the older woman grumbled. 
Getting in the house thwarted all the cold delightfully. You put your coat on the couch next to where you sat, waiting for the tea Mitsuki said she was going to get. You always liked the Bakugou house, asking Katsuki to walk him home every day just to see it from the outside. He never let you in. Ironically enough, it was never him who invited you in, it was his mom. 
Where was Mitsuki now? You looked around for the matriarch, but instead, you saw Katsuki. 
“About time you showed up.” 
There was so much fighting, so much push and pull, and trying to run away, and crying for help; yet, no one came. Katsuki had to carry you on his shoulder to go upstairs because you resisted profusely and refused to walk on your own. 
Door closed, lock clicked. A second later, you were dropped on his bed unceremoniously. You had never been in his room before and didn’t want to now. But since there was no choice, you took the opportunity to look around, taking everything in. 
His room was so… boy. A drum set in one corner, an expensive-looking gaming PC in another with a shelf filled with mangas and action figures next to it, posters of his favorite anime character plastering all over the walls. 
You remembered he liked All Might, the blonde-haired hero from a shonen manga you didn’t read but knew every detail from Katsuki’s ceaseless babble. You even broke into your savings buying a dozen raffle tickets till you won the big prize—a large figure he said he was saving up for—and gave it to him as a birthday present. 
He probably didn’t keep it. 
“Don’t be mad at mom, okay? I was on my knees begging her for help. That was on me,” Katsuki spoke softly, as if he was trying not to spook you. “Old hag hit me so hard dad had to intervene. But I’m her son. You understand, right? She would never abandon me.”
It was him between you and the door; you just needed to get past him, unlock the door and run. Slowly, you got out of the bed to stand on your own feet. The moment they touched the floor, however, was brief. Because Katsuki leaped from where he stood, taking him only two strides before he got you again. 
Back on the bed, you fought him tooth and nail, punching, kicking, biting, while he tried to sedate you with a soothing voice. But there was nothing soothing or gentle about this man—a monster. You saw through him. 
His grip on your wrists was immovable, anchoring you to the bed with one hand. He caged your body with his, examining you like a predator sizing up its prey, his presence all domineering, demanding obedience. 
“Shhh, settle down. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he coaxed. 
“Let me go!” 
All you could move now was your legs, which you did to your best ability, but to no avail. Katsuki waited it out, allowing you to try however you want to get away without saying anything. Eventually, you stilled, so exhausted you couldn't move anymore. 
“There, there. That’s my good princess,” he murmured, his usual harsh features softening. 
Frustration brought tears to your eyes. It took less than you thought, easier than expected, to suck it all up and spill everything that occupied your mind. 
“What do you want? What do you want from me, Katsuki? I'm sorry I confessed to you that day. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. But please—please.” Your voice got hoarse and lost at the second please. You had to cough to get it back. “I have learned my lesson. You and me, it will never happen—will never work out. I know that now. I get it, believe me, I do,” you choked through your tears, pleading. “I won't like you anymore, Katsuki, so please—let me go.” 
“Like me?” he reiterated. “I thought you loved me.”
“What?” 
He sighed, his free hand searching for something in one of his sweatpants’ pockets. When he pulled his hand out, you saw a letter—the one you gave it to him and got rejected. All these years, it had been kept with you, safely in your trinket box. Now, it was in his hand, opened. He finally accepted it, but at what cost? 
“I need you to read it to me,” he commanded, “out loud.” 
“Please, don’t make me do this.” 
“Listen,” he said. “I’m going to let go of your wrists and give you this letter that you wrote for me, and you’re going to read it—word—for—word.” He used the envelope to brush down the bridge of your nose. “If you tear it up—if you do, princess—I’m going to make you rewrite it. And it better be as good, if not better, than this one.”
He let go of your wrists and gave you the letter. 
“Oh, and if you run,” he added. “I’ll catch you, and we start over. Clear?” 
You nodded and took the envelope, hands shaking noticeably when you took the letter out. Everything was under Katsuki’s observation. He sat astride your thighs without putting all his weight on you, waiting patiently. 
“To Katsuki, if you are reading this, that means you accepted my letter, thank you!” You wiped tears out of your eyes to see better. “I know you get a lot of letters like this. It must be a bit of a hassle reading love confessions everyday, right? But please bear with me, I will try to keep this—” 
Interrupted, you looked past the letter and saw Katsuki lifting the hem of your sweater up and leaning down to place a kiss on your exposed stomach.
“Go on,” he prompted. “Don’t mind me. Don’t stop.” 
“I will try to keep this short,” you continued, completing the last sentence, trying to ignore the fact that your jeans were being unbuttoned and pulled down. “You know, girls in our class often say they love your hair, your eyes, but a lot of them are scared of your personality.” You felt his breath through your panties, hot. “I disagree. I think you are nice, brave, and kind. And don’t get me wrong, I love your hair and eyes too.”
“You’re cute, baby,” said Katsuki as he pried your legs open. Without taking off the underwear, he licked your pussy through it. 
“Katsuki!” 
Dragging his tongue up, he mumbled, “Keep reading.”
“And I love you.” You read on and saw his eyes roll back at that specific sentence. 
Suddenly, he switched from licking to sucking, making the crotch all wet with his saliva. You were preparing to read the next part when he made it all the more difficult by moving aside the damp fabric and rubbing his face into your naked cunt. His nose, lips, chin, all soaked in your embarrassing glossy juice. You cursed yourself for giving in, for getting wet. 
“Did I tell you to stop?” 
You let out a sob, raising the letter in your hands up again to read. 
“I know we don’t know each other well, and this feeling is not reciprocated—”
Why did he have to slurp the juice like that? He made it hard, so hard for you. 
“I’m—just a classmate after—all. But what I said, I said it with—a sincere—heart. So even if—you don’t love me back, please—let me keep—this feeling, I promise I—will treasure it.”
Panting sharply, you stopped before the next paragraph when you felt his tongue massaging your clit. Grasping his hair with both of your hands, you forgot you still held the letter. There was an audible scrunch when it was crumpled up in one of your fists.
Katsuki stopped dead in his tracks, glaring up from below; his red orbs seemed redder all of a sudden. “Did you just crumple the letter?” 
You pulled your hands back quickly when you realized, strengthening out the paper as best as you could. The creases weren’t that bad. You showed it to him, ensuring that it was still intact. 
He relaxed. You released a held breath. 
Back to concentrating on the handwritten texts, this time, you vowed to not look at him anymore and would just just read through everything as fast as you could—getting it done. Nevertheless, when he was back on eating your pussy and pride out, it did not get easier, Katsuki still managed to make you writhe like your life depended on it. 
“One more thing, I don’t know if you remember, but thank you for—saving me that day in front of the mini mart.” You tried to recall the event, the beginning of everything. “The thief would have—hurt me, and I would have lost—my wallet.” 
And it was just that, just you trying to yank your wallet back from the thief's hands, the popsicle you just bought lying on the ground, melting. The store staff was on the phone with the police—you heard it—but they didn’t come out. Katsuki did. 
When the thief was about to lay his hand on you, the blonde haired boy whom you recognized as your classmate kicked him in the shin. Moving fast, Katsuki then slammed his school backpack on the thief’s head, once, twice, thrice, on and on until he knocked him out. 
“You were my hero.” You read the last sentence, finishing the letter as he finished you.
You set the paper down on your side, finally freed from the evidence of your teenage self’s stupidity. Feeling weightless from the orgasm, all you could do was stare at the ceiling. After what felt like forever, Katsuki appeared in your field of vision, hovering over you, now shirtless… and pantless. You weren’t aware when he took them off, too lost in your own world. 
“You can't just stop loving me,” he said before bending down to kiss your cheek, then whispered, “Take responsibility. Be true to your words, dumbass.” 
“Katsuki, you’re being selfish.” You turned your face away, fleeing him.  
His red eyes sharpened. “After all this time you have showered me with love and attention, and you want to—take it away?” 
“There will be others who love you and give you all the attention you need,” you argued. “I’m not that person.”  
“No! Fucking no! Shut up!” he barked, turning your face back to him and silencing you with a kiss. 
Even with the heater warming up the room, the cold air that seeped through the walls and windows still reached your naked form. After being rid of your sweater, bra, and drenched panties, the only warmth you could find was from Katsuki’s body. And he made sure to share it with you so generously. 
Pain after pain, bite after bite. Katsuki would not stop no matter how desperately you begged him to. Your skin was his canvas, not only your neck, but your cheeks, breasts, belly, arms, thighs, calves; they were tender and hurt to touch. You would have to refrain yourself from looking into the mirror for too long, maybe. Luckily it was winter, this way, nobody would bat an eye if you covered yourself up like it was minus twenty celsius. 
“I’m gonna fuck you raw, okay? Haven’t fucked anyone since you left. You gotta take care of me, princess.” 
“Don’t bullshit me,” you returned. “You fucked that girl.” 
And it still hurt just thinking about it.
“Did not.”
Even so, had he gone mad? He sounded like it. Wearing condoms was the strictest rule of his when it came to sex. As far as you knew, he never broke it once, not for anyone, not for you. But you could be wrong—you didn’t want to—because now, he actually looked eager to go through with it, fucking you bareback.
Too risky, too intimate. 
“You’ll regret it. Please just—think before you act.” 
Trying to reason with Katsuki, you also attempted to move away. Big mistake. Catching you by your thighs, he forced himself closer and wrapped your legs around his waist. Then, he placed his unshielded cock on your folds and pushed it down a bit for the head to slither in, just the tip, nothing more. 
“Katsuki, no!” 
“Katsuki, yes,” he said, mockingly, and shoved it all in.  
The bed shook and squeaked annoyingly from how hard he rammed into your tight weeping hole, but the moans you were trying, but not so successfully, to suppress were so adorable he was able to overlook it and focus on you instead. He never knew his bed did this, never brought anyone home to fuck before. 
He almost spilled in the first five minutes, having to slow down to prolong the feeling of being wrapped and rubbed by a pussy, skin to skin. And you—lying there with your brows frowned and tits bouncing—did not help shit. Trying feebly to push him away when he swooped down for a kiss only stirred up his excitement, making him go rougher until you gasped and gave in.
What a soft and tempting little lamb you were. He wanted to brand you with his cum and give you his fucking name, knocking you up with a couple of brats for you and him to take to school and hear a teacher address you as Mrs. Bakugou with his own ears.
Since the day you handed him that letter, you had never been anyone else’s but his. Must have been fate, he didn’t know, didn’t care about a what-if either. His only regret was that he could have had a taste of you sooner, but he would call it a story arc and leave it at that—he had you now anyway. 
“Say my name, princess,” he demanded.
“Kat—suki.”
“Again.”
“Katsuki!”
This was worth it. The tirade of rebuke his mom delivered to his ears and the smacks on the head while saying she never taught him to be like this when he came clean about what he did to you—all was worth it. 
“I’ll get her back, mom,” Katsuki convinced. “We’ll get her back.” 
“You better.” 
It was convenient that his mom already liked you as if you were the one who popped out of her vagina and not him. Well, they were the same in that aspect. Who would have thought it would come to this day, the day he wanted to trap you in his home, when just a decade earlier, he would never have had the slightest idea of granting you the permission to step past the front gate. 
“She’s a good kid,” his mom commented. “The same girl who walked you home and bought you that All Might figure, no?” 
“Yeah.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. 
“Aha.” 
“Will you help me or not?” he asked, irritated. He had been kneeling at her feet for like fifteen minutes. 
“Watch your tone, boy.” Mitsuki’s voice hardened. His dad’s hand over her shoulder rubbed gently to calm her quick temper down. 
“Tch!” 
The tiny mutt chose that moment to strut into the living room, stealing his mom’s attention. She leaned down to pick it up and put it on her lap. It looked down at him, tongue lolling out of its mouth. Conceited little fucker. 
“You know why I named her Katsumi, Katsuki?” 
“Oh, don’t give me that shit.” 
“Katsuki,” his dad said in a reprimanding tone. 
“She reminds me of you, angry for no reason, always bark, bark, bark. It gets lonely around here, so why not.” Mitsuki smiled, scratching her new child’s head. “And you—remind me of her.”
Katsuki squinted his eyes, kinda knew where this was going. 
“A dog, waiting for its owner to come home.” 
She was not wrong. 
“Yes, I will help you, son.” 
A series of bangs on the door broke through the memory and his euphoria. He just came, hard, pouring his pent-up, ripe seeds far up your cunt, and someone wanted to butt in now? Katsuki huffed, but refused to get up and find out who wanted what, dead set on keeping you plugged up. 
Another rapping on the door, then a voice followed. “That’s enough, Katsuki. Let the poor thing out.” 
Of course, it had to be his mom. 
“Go away, hag.” 
“Bakugou Katsuki!” 
“We’ll be out!” 
Just not now. He omitted, and it worked. Mitsuki carried a string of grumbles and footsteps with her, leaving nothing behind. Katsuki turned to you, still under him, in time to see you avert your gaze away. Cute. 
“Can I go now?” you asked. 
“No.” He changed positions, turning over onto his back and getting you on top of him, cock still snug inside your walls. He hoped he didn’t spill a single drop.
“Katsuki, I don’t want to fight anymore.” 
“Then don’t, baby.” 
“I can’t live like this. Please”—you pleaded with your eyes—“don't hurt me anymore.” 
He couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart at your frail tone. Looking at you, he saw a woman with dark rings under her eyes, beautiful, but she looked like she had seen better days—a stark contrast to the girl who held out a letter towards him on that spring day, wind in her hair, kindness abundant enough to share. 
Before he knew it, words were out of his mouth. “I wish I had hurt you less.” 
It would not have been possible for him to not hurt you at all. He knew himself well enough to believe otherwise. He also knew, for certain, how he would like the story to go. 
“Do you still love me? Like you wrote in that letter.” he whispered. “Am I still your hero, princess?”
“You don’t”—you gritted your teeth—“have the right to ask me those questions.” 
“I’ll be yours. I want to.” And fuck, he really did, just thinking about it woke his flaccid cock up, rigid again inside of you. Putting his hands on both of your asscheeks, he grinded you up and down. “Do you still love me?”
You kept quiet, unyielding, only small, faint gasps could be heard. 
“Guess that’s not important.” Katsuki decided. “I’ll keep you first—fuck the answer out of you later.”
Panic flashed upon your expression at his declaration, and gasps turned into lustful whimpers when he started slamming your hips up and down his erect shaft.
“How long are you gonna make me wait? A year? A decade? As revenge, maybe?” He took your sweet mouth, hand pressing down the nape of your neck to keep it still. “House will be full of brats by then, but take your time, princess.”
“This will never work out. It won’t. It won’t,” you cried, shutting your eyes tight. “I can’t share you.”
Katsuki didn’t know why, but you not wanting to share him was sexy as shit. The mere thought of sharing you, however, made him want to put something on fire. Was this jealousy people were talking about? It burnt like a bitch. 
“Who said anything about sharing?” he grunted, slapping your jouncing ass, making you squeal. “And this goes both ways, princess. Don’t think I would let anyone touch you.” 
He was pissed just imagining it, which was nowhere near healthy, but who wanted that. He just wanted you, in any way he possibly could. 
“I’m—I’m gonna come,” you spluttered, convulsing around him. 
“That’s it. Come on my cock, baby. Make your man proud.” 
Your velvety walls tightened, constricting his cock and milking it when ropes of cum shot out. 
Sucked dry and spent, Katsuki closed his eyes and tried to rein in his breath. When he reopened them, it was to check if you were still with him—you were, resting on his chest with one cheek against it. Out of cuteness aggression, he pinched the other side.
You let out a short screech. “That hurt!”
The thought of marking you reared its head, biting where it hadn’t been bitten yet, hurting you a little more. But he stifled it, saving it for later. 
Steering himself to another matter, he said, “You never texted me back.”
“I blocked you.” 
“Figured.” Katsuki nodded. 
“Deserved.”
“Unblock me.”
You sighed.
The messages wouldn’t go through even if you unblocked him. That was how the application worked, which was fine with him. Scrolling through the one-sided chat, he could sense urgency and desperation through each letter, and some messages actually sounded mental. It would be for the best if you didn’t see them. 
‘Answer’ 
‘i didn’t fuck her, she left. Now fucking answer’ 
‘come back, i wont be mad. where u at.’ 
‘I am still at your apartment, u. didn’t come back. where r u’ 
‘i fucking found your letter. i’ll find u too’ 
“You—kept my present?” 
Katsuki looked up from his phone to your towel-swathed form, fresh out of the shower. Following your line of sight, he was directed to the bottom of the bookshelf where an All Might figure was set—his seventeenth birthday present from you. It was one of his top favorites, but he would never tell you that.
“I’m not stupid enough to throw things I like away, I’ll have you know.” He scowled and went back to scrolling on his phone. 
‘so u moved away huh?’ 
‘need you. don’t wanna fuck my hand anymore :(’ 
‘never mind, bitch’ 
‘u love me huh?’ 
‘Pathetic’ 
‘didnt mean that’ 
‘need u’ 
‘i'm an attention seeking whore who abuses your love to get the validation i want.’
‘sorry’ 
‘there i said it.’ 
‘now come back’ 
Yeah, you didn’t have to know any of that.
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melaninfury · 3 months ago
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ASTROLOGY HARSH OPINIONS |||
Hi. So I heard you were looking for me...
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Welcome to some good television. Its always 18+ round here so gear up.
Please don’t take this as astrological facts. These are more my experience and perspective. The whole chart and aspects must also be considered
~ Mars conjunct Neptune try stepping out of your illusions for me, no like take your foot and move out of LA LA LAND. Put down the vice, quit the maladaptive daydreaming, focus your mind off that person that didn't say anything just gave you the look and get to stepping towards your reality please...thank you bookie thank you. Not only that if you don't have an outlet why are you storing fucking trauma in your goddamn mind and body huh...? To many questions try answering them instead of letting them accumulate like a 18 question multiple choice quiz.
~ Mar conjunct Jupiter, let it be known that we all tried to tell you at some point you are alot to unpack, beliefs actions and change. When an idea or understanding hits your body it literally just explodes into the major truth or effect anything you touch can grow bad or good. Don't nobody got to give you the courage when this is placed a certain way. 9 times out of 10 you already started. Can be loud but not speak wise...Big Dog Vibes literally...lol
~ Mercury in Cancer tighten tf up or keep getting talked over plain and simple that sweet shit which is really trying to not upset people shit is going to turn you into a huge crab of an asshole no pun intended until you face that emotional baggage.
~ If that person has multiple placements in your 12th, and Chiron and malefic contacts that leave little to no room for joy, peace and love leave it thats a fucking enemy believe it because it will show you.
~ If your Saturn is in Aries and you have an anger problem and not a i start my own business or have my own or I am secure in leadership and discipline you just have one big ass problem. Get disciplined and I do mean fast cause your lesson are quick and harsh.
~ 8th house moons I repsect your deep profound psychological study on your parent and in turn yourself but please let that body see some sunlight and vitamin D including on the hard days no cave man tendencies will make you feel less in the dark. You isolator. Still one of the worst pains can come from this so be easy on yourself now.
~ Sun Conjunct Mercury is the real ego problem in our society.
~ I AM SO SORRY LEO and ARIES. I misjudged and misplaced my deep understanding of fire tragedy and absolute fucking ego that truly and will only stem from loins of a SAGITTARIUS. The literal evil of the fire signs. Fake easy going bull I tell you and trust me tooo much to say. The ego on these things runs forever, especially if they were ugly (to themselves) before i'm sorry. They are way to deep into the social pool and hierarchy anything at that point including you they think they can "analyze" boy just plug your ears if this one isn't to healed cause....
~ Y'all know that scene in another cinderella story, TOO MESSY! Boooooooooooo do better lol
~ Libras my libras the messiness has to stop, the unhealed ones are giving us all a bad name and I refuse to be surrounded by low class bitches that obviously has never seen BALANCE in their life claiming to be libra gang under guise of deviancy. Shame.
~ Never have a boss thats a Libra and the energy isn't grounded that bitch is fake... JKJK but especially with a cancer whammy no fire or earth outside of Capricorn selfish overworking ass energy to ground it. I'm telling you now its is a disaster.
~ If your workplace has a bunch of cardinal people....treat it like a carnival you do not know these people nor trust them in or outside of work. Special cases included getting everybody info and doing synastry to triple check I don't make the rules.
~ Virgo Energy is the real I wish a bitch would.
~ If that man has planets like Mars and Mercury and Saturn all over that Sun and Moon just know he is lords pet project and its best you leave him alone, most likely a lesson waiting to happen for the both of yous.
~ Scorpio mars will sexually manifest you even when you don't want them. Don't be toxic with it leave it alone because they like that they thrive off that they are in their power with that.
~ Chiron is something I notice people like to ignore then i look at their Chiron placement and i see exactly why for example homie your Chiron is in libra in your 5th house maybe your ways and the people you like are just not the best for you. When this is conjunct Juno IN MEN PLEASE RUN. Associating love or connection with this placement especially unhealed is not the healing bond you think it is
~ Somebody's Chiron conjunct your Lilith and/or mars can be a threat to you or perceive you as one.
~ Well how many times are you going to hide your trauma mars in the 8th. its right there but you want get angry at people when they trigger you but don't nobody know whats wrong with you.
~ Look to your Saturn to understand your hardships on a deeper even ancestral level, generation curses, losses and debt even lack of self worth. Master that Saturn and start uncovering your pain.
©️ All Rights Reserved @melaninfury
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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 11 months ago
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Yandere batfam or justice league with a reader who’s afraid of strong people/men due to a past abusive relationship? She never wants to feel that powerless and weak again so she actively avoids interacting with anyone stronger, bigger, taller any more than necessary. She doesn’t hold it against other ppl she just has a lot of trauma that she’d rather not work through and feel safe in her little bubble
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Hit me Hard and Soft
Synopsis: You get saved by Robin, but not everything is as it seems.
Pairing: Yandere!Poly!Romantic!Batboys X Gn!Reader
Tw: All characters aged up, of course; Mentions and descriptions of violence, including physical, psychological, sexual and financial abuse, and Damian fighting criminals (I'm particularly proud of the action scene I wrote); Drugging and being unconscious; Mentions of death of minor characters and suicide; Mentions of past grooming (Reader's ex) and age gap (Reader’s ex, Reader X Bruce, and the batboys age is not mentioned); Implied stalking; Mentions of kidnapping; Reader's very traumatized and weary of everyone; Reader doesn't trust the police; Mention of a panic attack and descriptions of actual panic; Guns and knifes; Mention of cigarettes; Implied needles; English isn't my 1st language.
Requested? Yes.
Extra notes: Wish I had more interactions between Reader and the batboys here, but I'm more than willing to make a part 2 with the right idea.
General masterlist | Hit me Hard and Soft - Series masterlist
He's back again. You wish you could say you didn't know why he always came back, but you did. The food wasn't that great and it wasn't that close to where he told you he worked or lived. It also didn't help that he always made sure to be served by you. And that he flirted with you.
— Evening, (N/N)! Is there something as sweet as you on today’s menu? — You gave a small and polite laugh.
— Strawberry pie… As always…
It was kinda sad, but mostly scary. If it wasn't for your ex, you would be thrilled to have gotten the attention of Dick fucking Grayson. The whole city knew he was handsome, rich, talented and charismatic. Gotham's sweetheart, Gotham's golden boy. And from your daily interactions, he lived up to the expectations. He was polite even when flirting with you and asking you out. Yet, something held you back.
— Nice! Since you get out in a few, why don't you bring in two slices? One for me and one for you, it's on me, of course. — You shook your head quickly, with an empty heart, just wanting to get away from him as fast as possible.
You were with your ex since you were 17 to 26. Almost 10 years wasted on a dirtbag. He convinced you to leave your friends, to leave your family, to leave your job. As soon as you started living together, you were completely dependent on him. Sometimes you blamed him, sometimes yourself, sometimes the people you had around you, but back then, where you came from, people weren't questioning the imbalance of powers between a 17 year old highschooler with no job and a 23 year old man with a steady job and living alone.
He convinced you that going to college and ending your relationship was the worst decision you could take. Then, that you didn't need your family, he could take care of you. One day, he decided you couldn't have friends.
He often locked you inside the house, cursed your skills and appearance, neglected your overall health, intimidated you, screamed at you, broke your things that he did and didn't pay for. He hurt you physically, even sexually. You knew both dating him and leaving him was hard, you just expected living with the scars was going to be easier.
And it was! You decided to run away from him and to Gotham when you received the news that your mom died and he didn't even want to let you go to the funeral. The grieving made you reflexive and you realized how shitty your situation was. For years you just thought that it would eventually get better, that you just needed to be strong, that he showed he loved you when he wasn't being an asshole, that you couldn't get anything better, that he made you feel special.
You couldn't even go to the police, he was a cop, you knew the chances that in any scenario you would lose. So you ran.
You knew it was dangerous, but you had nothing to lose. If he didn't kill you, you would do it yourself. You made a plan, drugged him, took some of his money, used his house keys, left everything behind for the second time in your life. You didn't waste time asking for help from the people you knew. You took the bus and went as far away as you could.
Your paranoia was so bad that for almost a year, you would settle in a city, work to save up enough, and leave again, rinse and repeat. Eventually, Gotham seemed big and far enough to go by unnoticed.
Or that's what you thought, until Dick Grayson stopped by the diner you worked to have breakfast before going to work, as a cop, and decided you caught his attention.
Since then, he came back everyday. Either breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just to hang out with some family member, usually one of his brothers, his dad appeared with him sometimes too. Your boss loved the attention Bruce and Tim attracted, the two most media active ones, since they both led Wayne Enterprises.
Eventually, even them started appearing multiple times a week. You thought you were healing, until you found yourself crying for almost four hours at home in a panic attack.
You didn't want their attention. Not only was it weird, but they were just so… Superior to you.
They were all taller, more muscular, faster, smarter, richer. It was like reliving the beginning of your relationship at 17, plus 10 times worse. Five because they were five people mirroring your ex, and more five just because of your trauma, experience, negativity and lack of naiveness.
Also, why were they ALL into you??? And they were aware of it! It was weird! Why??
Bruce Wayne was disarmingly charming in his dilf way. Dick was surprisingly accessible. Jason was soft spoken despite his resting bitch face and leather jacket. Tim was cute in a nerdy way. Damian almost made you laugh with his sarcastic humor.
Either way, you never wanted to feel as little as you felt before, so you just did your job, acted polite, but ultimately kept your distance.
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Freedom has its difficulties, one of them being that you need money, and for money, you need a job, which means sometimes you have to stay until closing time, at 11 PM, in Gotham.
You're not the only employee to stay so late, but you and your co-worker live in opposite directions, so walking alone it is. They're taking the bus, but you only live two blocks away, so you gulp down your anxiety and keep walking. One hand on your pocket, holding your taser firmly, and keeping your head up, turning to look at every sound.
It's cold, and the street is empty and dimly lit. Some places are so dark that you wonder why you're even paying taxes if the streetlamps won't work.
Two men turn the corner a few meters in front of you, one at least a foot taller, the other, two inches max. They're wearing hoodies and their hands are on their pockets, the light behind them creates a shadow that doesn't allow you to see their faces, nor where they're looking at, but they are coming in your direction.
There's a car, parked between you both. Some people might think at this point it's just paranoia, but you’ve heard stories of people walking next to cars, getting pulled inside by someone who was hiding in there, and getting kidnapped.
Your first instinct is flight, so you turn around, ready to run, even if you look weird in case those guys weren't planning to do anything with you, just to see other two guys emerging from the other corner, those two almost as tall as that first guy. Aside from the smaller one, they're all broad, even with their thick clothes covering them.
One of them has a cigarette on his mouth, which he throws on the ground when you turn your attention to him. Your fear might have caused you to hallucinate, but you're almost sure he's smirking.
You freeze for a second, your only escape is to run to the side, and pray their long legs don't get to you first. You think you hear one of them start hollering at you.
You only take a step to the side, when a loud crash startles you so hard that you have to look behind, while walking backwards to the street. You take a second to process the sight.
Robin is standing in the middle, just a few steps behind where you were standing a second ago. He's at least half a foot taller than all of them, and a lot broader. He's holding the tall one by his neck with his right hand, repeatedly hitting his head against the car’s window.
You're shell shocked, torn between staying put to watch this disaster, as interesting as a car crash, or running away. Gotham is so big that you never thought you would encounter one of its heroes, you weren't sure if you even wanted to.
When the guy seems to stop moving, Robin throws him against one of the other tall ones, the guy practically flies across 2 meters before hitting him, and when he does, they both fall to the ground. You remember all the times when your ex pushed you to the ground.
Your eyes are wide, horrified, watching the shortest guy take a pocket knife out of his pocket. Your throat locks, even if you want to scream for Robin to turn around, you only manage to stare and stay in place, however, the vigilant turns halfway around just in time to grab the guy by his wrist and his arm, just as he launched to stab him. He uses his body’s impulse to push the guy forward, the knife going to the fourth guy's shoulder, you hadn't even seen him get so close to him.
You look at the man from the car, he's still unconscious, the one who got tackled with him, however, is already standing and walking to the fight.
Everything’s happening too fast, you turn to the side to see the guy with the knife on his back on the ground, groaning and twitching in pain, while Robin is punching the shit out of the other guy, movements faster than you could ever dream of achieving. You remember being on the receiving end of someone's fists before.
With a final elbow to the cheek, the guy stumbles to the ground, you don't know what level of consciousness he’s in, by his posture before, you knew he was already compromised since the first hits he took.
Robin doesn't move, doesn't even turn to look at the guy who just fell, he's just looking forward, and when you notice this, you look at the remaining guy.
He's pointing a gun at him.
You don't think you can watch someone get shot in front of you, and you know if he gets rid of Robin, it's over for you. Logically, you knew these vigilantes somehow never die, still, it's counterintuitive to think he won't.
And he doesn't, in the blink of an eye, Robin's on the air, his right boot kicking the gun away, while still on the air, he wraps his legs around the guy's head, bends backwards, puts his hands on the ground, then launches his whole body to the front, the guy getting thrown over him. He falls to the ground, Robin stands on top of him with perfect balance. You don't even have time to process what just happened, the coolest and scariest thing you saw your whole life, when Robin punches him one last time. Now, he's definitely unconscious.
You’ve felt like a bystander this whole interaction, it felt like ages, but in reality all of this couldn't have taken more than 20 seconds, maybe even less than 15. You don't know what to do now. You're theoretically safe, but Robin’s still too big, too strong, too fast. He knocked out four guys without getting touched a single time. He broke a car's window. He threw around two guys who weighed at least 80kg. He's not even panting. And now he's looking at you.
A whimper gets stuck in your throat. You don't know if you should thank him, stay silent, or yell at him to stay away from you. When he takes a step in your direction, your instincts get the better of you and you turn around, running.
You hear him call your name, although your brain doesn't process it. You see headlights and look towards it. It's a car. You don't trust you’ll get help, but at least you're not alone. You run in it's direction, waving your arms and screaming bloody murder.
The car almost hits you, but you don’t process that until the last minute, but you get tackled to the ground just in time by the hero from before. You scream again, he's too close. Now, he's trying to hold you down. You keep screaming and trying to escape. You look to the side and the car just kept driving away, likely the driver wouldn't stay behind to be another victim to Robin's hands. You know you're not being rational right now, those guys are known for helping people, he just saved you, he's still trying to stop you from getting hurt, but you're scared. You've been scared since you were a teenager.
Your eyes burn, your arms and throat hurt, but adrenaline doesn't let you feel anything. Not even the invasion of a needle on your side.
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— Was it really necessary? — Tim deadpans Damian, who growls.
— You would have done the same, Drake.
— No, I wouldn't. You were supposed to use the psychological first aid approach and (Y/N) would've calmed down and trust us more in the future. But of course, you never use your brain. — Damian growls, stepping towards Tim, but he is stopped by Dick’s hand resting on his chest.
— Damian, calm down, Tim’s right. You knew better than to sedate them. You knew of (Y/N)’s trauma and you knew the route we wanted to take. — Damian's brows furrowed and he crossed his arms.
— I knew your feelings toward (Y/N) would make you become impulsive again. — Tim looked at Bruce, who was silent, with hands intertwined and elbows on the table, focused on your vitals on the screen and the sight of you laid on the bed on the medbay. — Will you now consider just letting you, me and Dick keep an eye on them during patrol? — Damian and Jason scoffed.
— Why you aiming at me now? It was the demon who gave that guy brain death! — Jason protested and Tim looked at him.
— Just to be sure you won't freak out like him and kill thrice as many people, on purpose this time. — Jason glared at him.
— B, you better add more security measures around (Y/N), before Timbo tries to clone them or something. — He muttered with snark.
Dick shook his head and sighed, going to stand on Bruce's side, crossing his arms and looking at you through the camera with him.
— What's the plan now, B? They're probably waking up soon. — Bruce hummed, relaxing his stance and resting his back against his chair. The silence lingered for a few seconds, everyone just looking at you, waiting for the oldest’s opinion.
Bruce turned around, looking at them.
— … Damian, Tim's right. You were impulsive today and you killed someone, even if it was an accident. I stopped expecting that from you since you were 12, you're an adult now. You not only broke our trust, but (Y/N)’s already shattered trust. They need to know they're safe with us, and drugging them, instead of puting to use more time and effort to bring the comfort to them, is not going to do that. You weren't much different than the man who hurt them tonight. — His father's words were like a punch to Damian's stomach, leaving him speechless. Dick pursed his lips, not turning around as to make it easier to not comfort his brother just yet. Bruce turned to Tim. — Tim, I understand you want to take measures seriously. But you need to give Jason a chance. That was unasked for. — The mentioned blinked, still unacostummed with the treatment he received from his dad when he followed his rules. Tim looked away. Bruce turned to Damian again. — Damian, no patrolling around (Y/N) until you prove we can trust your temper again. — He waited for a confirmation, which came with a sneered lip.
— Yes, father.
Dick looked back a Bruce.
— What about (Y/N)? — He bit his lips. Bruce hummed, turning to look at the monitor again.
— … What do you all think?
— Well… Damian said their name, they might not remember it, but they can't just wake up at home. They’d try to flee from us. We could bring them home earlier, but our ideal plan was to make them come willingly, in the period of at least two years, in the best case. We could leave them at the hospital, and just keep our plan going. — Dick listed the possible strategies they could take. Bruce hummed.
Tim piped up.
— I already altered their phone's algorithm to send the job application as my assistant at Wayne Enterprises to them. And the Wayne Foundation’s application for the internship at Gotham Uni. — Bruce nodded.
— Damian? What do you understand about that? — It was clearly the beginning of his test.
— The more secure in their independence they feel, the easier it is to heal and open themselves up to new opportunities. — Damian exclaimed with confidence. Bruce nodded.
— Jason, are you still interested in college? — Everyone looked at Jason surprised, he was also surprised, he hadn't talked to Bruce about college since before he died.
It took a few seconds to processes what it would mean.
— Uh… I think so?! — Bruce nodded.
— What about me, father? — Damian spoke inquisitively. — I also want more opportunities to get closer to (Y/N)! — Bruce narrowed his eyes at him.
— We will think about that when you're in the clear.
— But-
— That's final. You reap what you sow. — Damian huffed and nodded begrudgingly. — … Now, since Robin was the one to save them, take the batmobile and leave them in the hospital. Then come straight back home. Understood? — Damian clenched his jaw and nodded silently, leaving to get your unconscious body.
Moments later, when you were both out, on the way to the hospital, Tim fiddled with the computer, the scream showed the batmobile’s tracker, your tracker, Damian's tracker, Damian's contact lenses’s camera and the car’s camera. They all looked at him.
— … It's just to make sure…
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agoodflyting · 1 year ago
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Why Aziraphale is completely ridiculous in the Bastille scene (and I love him so much for it)
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A while ago I posted a comparison of Aziraphale and Crowley's costumes in the 1793 flashback in Good Omens and I wanted to add these little tidbits. (Because they haunt me.)
I feel like most people know this but IF YOU DON'T, Paris in 1793 is right in the middle of something called La Terreur.
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HISTORY LESSON If you didn't learn this in school the French Revolution was when, after years of escalating social tension, a coalition representing the working classes of France revolted against the monarchy, violently overthrew King Louis XVI, and declared France to be a republic.
The new National Convention governing France ruled that King Louis XVI and his wife Marie Antoinette were traitors to the people of France because of how they had spent ridiculous amounts of money on luxuries for themselves while vast numbers of the lower classes were literally starving to death. (keep the bold in mind - wealth and class disparities were one of the key causes of the whole-ass revolution)
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In 1793 (year of the flashback) both the King and Queen were executed by guillotine for their crimes.
This kicks of something called The Reign of Terror (La Terreur if you want to be French about it). A multi-year-long period in which the National Convention goes on a bloody witch hunt for any and every member of the middle or upper classes who could even possibly be considered a traitor by those same standards.
If you A) had money or privilege, and B) had ever used your money or privilege to treat yourself, you were getting executed. Over 25,000 people died during the Reign of Terror, half of them by guillotine. In fact, the iconic guillotine was used because it was physically impossible to keep up with the sheer number of people they were executing in Paris every single day.
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Some things that could get you killed (actually and completely seriously) during the Reign of Terror:
Implying in any way you were sympathetic to the monarchy
Having a noble title
Having expensive things
Wearing expensive, luxurious clothes (*cough* AZIRAPHALE)
helping or sympathizing with anyone who did any of the above
a working-class person saying you were mean to them once
And then there's this bitch...
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I AM NOBILITY PLEASE KILL ME So we have established that Paris in 1793 is in the middle of a frenzied, state-sanctioned bloodbath in which the working classes are massacring everyone even remotely nobility-adjacent. And in the middle of this frenzy, Aziraphale proceeds to roll up in Paris in this outfit:
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How will this outfit get him killed? Let me count the ways...
First off- at this point everyone with even the tiniest shred of self- preservation is hiding the fact that they are in any way associated with the monarchy. The wealthy are straight-up abandoning mansions. The middle-class are plastering over decorations to make their house look 'poor'. The only people dressed remotely decent are the guys leading the National Convention and that's just because nobody can stop them. Everyone else is in 24/7 peasant cosplay or else they are covering themselves in cockades and sashes on to show they're pro-Republic.
Aziraphale is basically a giant shiny white sign saying I AM NOBILITY PLEASE KILL ME.
First off the lace jabot and lace cuffs are both associated with the old-school wealthy in the 1790's.
His coat is also decorated in gold braid and silver buttons, which are both marks of wealth and luxury.
He basically looks like he works for Louis XIV - not just rich, but old school rich.
We know it's his natural hair color, but hair powdering (with clay and starch) had been a big trend with the rich all throughout the 18th century to get that clean white venerable look . To someone who doesn't know it's natural, it would very much look like he's wearing hair powder.
He's wearing shades of cream and white, which are very hard to keep clean and clearly states that the wearer is rich and can afford the upkeep necessary to keep an outfit like that stain-free.
He's wearing white knee-breeches and stockings, also called culottes. See above about laundry and how rich you had to be to wear white, but also working-class men wore long pants like this:
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A large faction involved in the Revolution were the Sans-Culottes (no-culottes aka we wear long pants LIKE GOOD OLD WORKING MEN). Culottes are specifically associated with everything the revolution hated. That's right - Aziraphale is literally wearing The Fanciest of Fancy Pants in a city where a group called The Men Against Fancy Pants are running around murdering people.
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And then there are his shoes.
Oh god his shoes
I could do a whole post about Aziraphale's blessed little white satin pumps and how ridiculous they are.
Actually I might just do that because this is getting so long and I still have to talk about the brioche.
So I can't remember if it's in the script book or if it's from Neil Gaiman's tumblr, but it's apparently canon (?) that Aziraphale was going around in that outfit asking people where he could get crepes and brioche when he was arrested.
The Affair of the Brioches
So... uh... we've all heard the line attributed to Marie Antoinette- how when she was told that her people were starving because there was no bread left in Paris, she famously said...
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It's morphed into 'let them eat cake', but the line is first recorded as, "Then let them eat brioches."
While it's unlikely she ever actually said it, the important thing is that... people in 1793 would have thought she said it. It was used as political smear to show how arrogant and out of touch the monarchy was. Marie Antoinette in particular was reviled by the people of France, who thought she was the main cause of their economic problems. That's why she was executed too.
Bread and brioche and the lines between poverty and privilege were a big thing in Revolutionary France. There was a lot of political connotation to what you ate. The French Revolution came about because of decades of suffering among the lower classes of France. It wasn't something that some dudes just decided to do. The people of Paris have been through years of the absolute worst, most oppressive poverty and starvation you can imagine, all while watching the rich throw money around crazy.
So let us recap.
Aziraphale is dressed so ridiculously posh that he looks like a joke parody of a nobleman... and he is bumbling around Paris during the Reign of Terror. Asking people. For brioche. How I imagine everyone looked at him:
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It is so astoundingly tone deaf and tactless. He is basically cosplaying as Marie Antoinette and then going around asking the poor for cake.
I just.... Aziraphale. babygirl. no. oh no. You're lucky they even bothered to take you to prison. I am amazed Crowley ever let him live that down.
I have no conclusion other than this. Aziraphale is ridiculous and I love him so much.
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YES YOU REALLY SHOULD SIR.
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