#just to drive home that parallel even further

[x-i-l-verify]

Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.

Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.

-

Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.

-

Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.

-

This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.

-

Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/

But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?

[dollerin]

𝑺𝑷𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑺 𝘊𝘈𝘙 ۶ৎ 니키

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝑳𝐔𝐃𝐄 ─── when your boyfriend wants to show off the fact that he finally got a car.

𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑎 𝑟𝑖𝑘𝑖 x f. reader romance non idol au suggestive physical touch making out 𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝗐𝖼. 677 ─── 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑒

riki had been raving about his dream car since the both of you started dating. it was something he looked forward to nearly every single day (other than seeing you) and you didn’t mind.

he was absolutely obsessed with the thought of going on late night drives with you, drive-in movies or even just being parked outside of your house after a date, holding you.

so once that message came through on your phone, “be ready in 10 ;)” you knew his dream had come true.

the engine rumbled lowly outside of your home, the moon reflecting off of the sleek paint of the car. he sat inside of it, one hand gripping the steering wheel while he waited for you.

you locked your door behind you before heading straight to the passenger side. the window rolled down once you got close enough.

“hop in, pretty.” he said with a small smirk, unlocking the door for you. you shook your head, climbing in without a word.

“you like?”

you hummed, glancing at the interior of it. sleek, bold, definitely riki.

he pulled off down the road again, foot pressing down on the accelerator lightly at first.

it was quiet between the both of you for a moment, other than the hum of the car and the quiet bass of whatever r&b song he had playing on the radio.

he glanced over at you briefly, one hand still rested on the wheel while the other moved to rest on your thigh, squeezing it gently.

your eyes shifted over to him, watching as he kept his gaze on the road, his lip tucked between his teeth in concentration.

“never thought someone could look so good while driving,” you murmur, but still loud enough for him to hear.

he huffs out a laugh, “oh yeah?”

your hand comes to rest on top of his, looking down to see his fingers twitch in surprise.

“yeah.”

the compliment seemed to fluster him a bit, his hand squeezing your thigh again, grip tightening.

“you know what else i look good while doing?” he asked, making you raise your eyebrows. “parallel parking.”

you swatted at his arm, causing him to chuckle, “what? what’d you think i was gonna say?”

you shook your head, leaning over to kiss his arm before laying your head against it.

“you’re ridiculous.”

“yeah, but you love me.”

“unfortunately.” you snorted.

a few minutes later, he pulled into an empty lot, the gravel crunching under the car’s tires. he parked with a flick of his wrist, the engine still humming quietly.

“back seat,” he murmured, voice husky. “wanna show you something.”

by the time you climbed into the back seat and he met you there, his hands were already on you, gripping your waist and pulling you on top of him.

“thought you wanted to show me something?” you asked, tilting your head with a teasing smile.

“yeah, yeah. i will.” he grumbled, already leaning in. his lips crashed into yours before you could say anything else, all heat and want.

he sighed into the kiss, his grip on you tightening like you were going to disappear. calloused hands drifted up into your shirt, resting on your sides.

your hand came to cradle his jaw, fingers tracing over his skin as you tilted your head, leaning in and deepening the kiss.

riki’s brows furrowed as he groaned into your mouth, feeling your lips move slower now, more deliberate.

one of your hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck—fingers raking over it.

his lips trailed down further— over your cheek, your neck, and stopping at that spot under your ear that was extra sensitive.

“mm.. right here, huh?” he mumbled against it, lips brushing over your skin. he felt the way you shivered, the little breaths that escaped you.

you tilted your head to give him more access, your fingers gripping the fabric at his shoulders.

you hum, “we should really get going.”

“why?” his fingers trace patterns over your jeans. “i was just getting started, baby.”

🌺: hey so i hate this! milan try to stop using tate songs in your fics challenge

[ild-rllrcstr]

The Second Seat part 3

Lando Norris X You (female driver) / slight angst / 2.9K

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5

Summary You worked your way up to Formula One, contracted with McLaren, defying all odds. You play the team game: humble, strategic, and willing to follow orders, even if it means sacrificing podiums so Lando Norris can be the world champion. Every lap you sacrifice, every time you hold back, the world starts to doubt your talent. Lando sees it all. So he makes a choice: to give you the race, the recognition you deserve, and maybe his heart. You came for the drive, but you stayed for something more.

Warnings swearing A/N I realised the link for part two was not attached properly for some reason, but it's now properly fixed! I almost cried writing some paragraphs in this part, just so you guys are ready. Also, I did see the requests, I'm still planning this story and see if I finish this first or cut in some requests but I promise it won’t take long!

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

After Monaco, something changed. The dynamic between you and Lando shifted. Cold, quiet distance. The last real conversation you had was on Charles' yacht that night in Monaco.

Since then, it was like you existed in parallel, orbiting the same team in different spheres. You showed up to meetings, sat across from each other in the McLaren briefing room, occasionally exchanged professional nods in the garage, but the easy banter, the occasional teasing, the warmth, it was gone.

Everyone noticed, and they tried not to act weird about it. Since the little Eureka moment enlightened by Lewis, it was also frustrating for the others to watch you two, but it was no one’s place to interfere. They don’t know how to.

Lando stopped expressing his frustration, just hitting the throttle harder, hoping to gain more advantage so you don’t have to be in more unfair situation anymore. But his bottled-up frustration was not helping much.

The media feasted on the tension. Rumours spread, questioning your ability, your place in McLaren, your results. Headlines swirled with loaded language: “McLaren’s Strategy: Sacrificing One for the Other?” “Rookie Dragging Down Constructors’ Fight?”

You said nothing. You just kept showing up.

Lando kept winning. With each race, his championship lead stretched further. He was leaving everyone behind, Max, Lewis, Oscar, all of them chasing his shadow. On paper, it looked like a dream season for McLaren. In reality, everyone knew it was a one-man show.

And you? You were stuck in P8 in the driver standings. Good spot for a rookie by historical standards, but in the fight for the Constructors’ title, you were dead weight. The math didn’t lie. The team had made their choice: this year wasn’t about the team. It was about getting Lando his championship.

You spent all summer as a moving roadblock for Lando, holding up competitors, defending track position with worn tyres just long enough to buy Lando clean air or a perfect pit window. Over and over again. The tactics that once felt strategic started to feel like sabotage. It was a quiet humiliation. One lap at a time.

It not only frustrated you but also Lando. He was winning, but he couldn’t celebrate the way he used to. There were no cheeky grins in the cooldown room, no energetic podium leaps. The media said he finally matured, but he was just drained, emotionally, and guilty, even.

The worst scenario came at Silverstone. You dreamt about this race ever since you drove, and it was equally important for McLaren to shine at home. 

But the strategy calls came again. You stayed out longer than made sense, blocking a charging Racing Bulls train. Your tires were gone by Lap 40. Lando took the win, you dropped out of the points completely, P11. Your worst finish all season. 

The crowd roared. Papaya flags flew. The pit wall exploded with cheers, all for Lando.

You slipped out before the cameras came. No press. No interviews. Just the back paddock tunnel and the hum of post-race chaos echoing somewhere behind you.

There were no pats on the back in the garage afterwards. Just nods. 

“Nice job out there.” Someone mumbled as you came out of the cockpit.

You didn’t respond. Nice job, it must be a joke. Because what part of it was a nice job?

On the screen, Lando stood on the top step of the podium to a sea of British and papaya flags… while you sat in the driver’s room with your helmet off, staring blankly at the data. Nothing was going inside your brain, you know all the numbers by heart, it seems useless to look further anymore. 

You weren’t angry. You were tired. Bone-deep tired. And somewhere deep in your gut, you realised something painful:

You hadn’t been racing for yourself in weeks. You were just... managing the traffic.

You saw Lando in the debrief. He gave you a long look. No words. No fake smiles. You saw the flicker of devastation in his eyes, matching yours hidden deeper.

You saw each other's frustration. But neither of you knew how to fix it.

A little part of you started to feel like perhaps Lando was right. 

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

Two months later, September’s Monza was still blazing with the Italian heat. The goal was still Lando’s championship. For you, the more you are to the end of the season, you more you’re making peace with yourself and accepting the frustrating situation. You get in the car, get instructions, and execute. Like a robot, not expecting much.

30 laps in, Lando was fighting with Lewis for P1. Both overlapped the slower cars by 1 lap and were going through the traffic area. The competition that was happening between Esteben and Nico was only making them harder to overtake. An unforeseen contact between the two slower cars caused Nico to slip, slamming off Lando’s right wing, also spinning Lando off the track. The day was wrapped for Lando and Nico. Here comes the safety car.

“Y/N, box now, after the safety car, switching to Plan A, start pushing.”

Standing P6 holding the traffic, you were oblivious of what was happening on the other side of the track. The announcement from your engineer was unexpected. You boxed, and when you came out, you saw the papaya car on the side of the track as you passed by. Lando saw you pass, the adrenaline within him started to pump, he realised something and was more thrilled than he should be at the situation.

“Is he alright?” you asked your engineer, more worried than you sounded. 

“Right wing’s slammed off, but he’s all good.” 

Shook off the thought, that’s when you realise it was the opportunity you were waiting for all along. You were P6, Lando’s off, with the gap reduced by the safety car, you have all the chance to do something here.

You breathed, pacing your breath for the rhythm you needed, each lap with the safety car, you adjusted, you were feeling your car, it was there on your side, both of you were ready to show what you had long been hiding all season.

Lando got back to the paddock, insisting on sitting through the rest of the race before heading for a medical check and the media zone. He didn’t even take a glance at his right-wingless car. His eyes were fixed on the screen, on you. The whole team was, with their breath tightly held. He went next to your engineer to check the more detailed data, and both of your engineers were on the same screen now.

By lap 43, you’ve overtaken Kimi and Charles, standing at P4 with 10 more laps to go. 

The crowd was buzzing with excitement, broadcasts were fixating on the small gap between you and George in front. Charles was not far behind. 

Lap 51,

Lap 52,

Lap 53.

You were fast. You were smart. And most importantly, you were free for once. It was purely you. You got the perfect last turn you’ve been practising forever on the sim, full throttle, and you ran through the finish line. 

You continued the track after passing the line, slowing down, you’ve got nothing in your head, it was filled with dopamine. For once, in a long time. You felt like yourself, noises were completely out of your ears, until you heard screaming from the radio.

“P3! Y/N! P3! You fucking did it! Fuck yes! I told you she can do it! That was a fucking brilliant race. I told you to stop putting her on that stupid Plan C.” That voice, it was not your engineer, it was Lando on the other side of the radio.

“What?” You still couldn’t comprehend what you heard until you were pulled to the Parc fermé with a P3 plate in front of your car. 

Cameras swarmed to your side, flashing, even stealing the spotlight from Lewis’ P1 and Max’s P2. You slowly climbed out of the car, still couldn’t believe it was real. The media were bombarding you with questions, and you stood still in your car, dumbfounded. You didn't even know how to react. 

Lewis realised you’re in shock and lent you a hand to pull you out of the car. He gave you a big pat on the back, and you saw the crease at the end of his eyes through the helmet. He’s not just happy for his win, he was also happy for you. Max came to congratulate you, even though he was not happy about not being able to surpass Lewis. The papaya team of engineers and mechanics in front of you are roaring with cheers, this time not because of Lando, but you. 

Someone helped you out of your helmet, you pulled off the balaclava and looked around, panting from the excitement. Among the papayas, you spot one white. Lando looked at you with the biggest smile you’ve seen on him in months. He stood there and then looked at you, and your eyes focused on his. For a second, the noises were gone. The cameras, the crowd, all gone. It was just the two of you, a small, fulfilling moment for the two of you. 

“I told you.” Lando mouthed silently with his finger pointed at himself, then at you.

Suddenly, your eyes blurred, and warm tears were sliding down your cheeks, but you also had a smile on, this time a real one, not the good actress smile. 

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

In the cool room, you still couldn’t stop crying, Lewis asked the staff to give you some time in the washroom to freshen up a bit. 

“That was well earned, Y/N, great great job, be very proud of yourself. You’ve been patient, and it’s time you reap what you’ve sown.” Lewis warmly smiled at you as you calmed down and came out of the washroom.

“Those were amazing takeovers, that last turn was clean and fast like you’re on a straight line.” Max was impressed watching the replay on the screen, and you know that was rich coming from him. 

Standing on the podium got your eyes tickled with tears again. You held your trophy, hands shaking. You clutched the trophy tighter, the metal grounding you in a moment that felt too big to hold. 

The champagne stung your eyes, but not as much as the tears.

As the anthem played, you stared out over the crowd, not just at the fans of McLaren, but at the girls in the grandstand who were holding signs up for you. The ones who saw you. The ones who now knew they didn’t have to ask for permission.

Tears slipped down your cheek again before you could stop them. And for once, you didn’t try to hold it anymore.

The press room was buzzing. Flashes everywhere. The journalists were excited, the questions came in fast, but for the first time, they weren’t tinged with doubts about you.

“Y/N, this is your first podium in Formula 1. You’ve spent most of the season supporting your teammate. What does today mean to you?”

You took a breath.

“It means… everything.” You paused, breathing in. “I’ve always said I was grateful for the opportunity, I am and will always be grateful, but I won’t lie and say it’s been easy. Today… it felt like the team trusted me from the entry of that safety car. I wasn’t just there to support someone else’s win. I was given the race and freedom. And that’s all I’ve been patiently waiting for.”

Lewis, sitting beside you, nodded quietly. “She drove like a lion today. It was beautiful to watch.”

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

The debrief ended, and engineers scattered, screens shutting down, everyone’s ready for the small break before Azerbaijan in two weeks. 

You were in the hospitality waiting room, showered, and packed. You were in your casual sundress, sitting on the couch, holding your trophy on your knees, staring at it and your own reflection on it. You were still processing the moment. 

“It’s been five minutes that you’re staring at it, it’s not going anywhere, you know.” Lando was leaning on the wall, not far away from you. He’s watched you for a while, but you clearly didn’t notice him. He looked tired, but he had that boyish smile on him.

“I was waiting to see if they’ll take it back or something.” You smiled and mumbled, focusing back on the trophy.

“They won’t,” he approached. “No one will ever again, over my dead body.” You looked up at him. Behind the tireless, his eyes were full of pride and emotions that were overwhelming. Then it was watering. 

“Why are you crying?” you burst out in disbelief. You knew he was emotional, but not in this way. 

“I didn’t get my podium, that’s why,” he joked and smiled even though he was still crying.

And then your eye ached, and you started to cry again. 

“Not fair, it took me so long to stop crying! And then here we go again!” You both laughed at how ridiculous the state of both of you was.

When Lando was wiping his tears, you approached and pulled him into a hug around his neck. He froze, not expecting it.

“Thank you, Lando. Thank you for believing me when no one else did. I knew you were trying to lead better so they don’t have to put me in Plan C, and I’m sorry for being so stubborn. Thank you so much for trying to stand up for me.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, sniffing. 

“I fucking told you. If this is how you’re going to finally fight, I’mma DNF all the races until the end of the season. Lewis is still large behind.” 

“We know you won’t, we know you still want that championship.”

“ I do.” Lando rolled his eyes, smiling.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

Later that night, you found yourself getting a call from reception again for Mr. Norris’ request to visit. 

“Why do you always make the call? You know my room number.” You opened the door, looking at him weirdly.

“I thought it’s more polite and it gives you a heads-up.” He’s already changed and freshened up. 

“You still have… exactly 30 minutes before we have to leave,” he continued, looking at his phone for the information, bad memory.

“For what?” You asked, pretending again, not knowing. 

“Sir Hamilton put me on a mission to ensure you show up at the party. I’m on duty tonight,” he joked.

You shut yourself in the toilet for a good 30 minutes, coming out readied. But when Lando saw you, knocking the air out of him. He was not mentally prepared. You were in your mini sundress rather than the usual maxi ones. Lando wondered how many of those you have. Since Monaco, even though he was frustrated with you, those dresses you were wearing were doing something to him. Tonight it was refreshing, different, but he still liked it. The hotel light was thankfully not too bright lit so you didn’t notice the slight flush on his cheeks. 

Shit Lando, you’re flushing like a 12 year-old. He told himself, calming himself down all the way to the villa outside Monza.

It was the first time you entered a room with all the familiar faces, some engineers, some mechanics, some friends and families, but there was no competitiveness in the air. 

Lando walked in beside you, beaming like he had taken P1. He was the first one to grab drinks and pull you into the middle of a small circle, already laughing and telling stories. George, Pierre, Alex, Charles, Max, Everyone looked up as you entered.

“Oh shit, it’s McLaren’s rising queen,” Max teased with a grin, “Do we need to bow?”

“Careful,” George added lightly, “She might overtake you next.” There was no beef, no matter what happened on the track in the afternoon. Everyone laughed.

You stood a little awkwardly, unsure how to react, until Lewis walked in from the kitchen and immediately hugged you and left an arm slung around your shoulder.

“There she is.” His smile was wide, his eyes twinkling. “No one here deserves this night more.”

Charles and Pierre smirked, quickly glanced from you, Lewis, to Lando. The two whispered on the side. Lando’s eyes never left you, his grip tightened on his drink. 

The music picked up. Glasses clinked. Few drinks in, Lando had a drink in one hand and was already dancing terribly, unbothered by the rhythm, pulling everyone into it. 

He came to where you were sitting next to Lewis and grabbed your hand. “Come on. You’re coming with me to the dance floor.”

“I can’t dance.” You said shyly, but did not resist the pull by him.

“You just outdrove half the grid and got that trophy. You can do anything.”

You laughed, finally letting yourself be dragged in. Lewis smirked, seeing both of you from behind. He exchanged a knowing nod with Charles.

For the first time since the start of the season, you weren’t holding your breath. You weren’t calculating tyre strategy in your head, or checking who was watching. You were just there. Laughing, dancing, celebrating. With your peers, as one of them.

Lando didn’t leave your side the whole night. Every time someone congratulated you, he nodded like he’d known it all along.

At one point, Charles passed by, raising a brow to Lando looking at you with the stupidest smile on him. You were too busy talking to the others.

“Mate, I thought you DNFed today.”

Lando just raised his glass, a bit tipsy. “I did.”

“But you look like you won today,” Charles smirked.

“Didn’t I?” Lando looked at Charles quickly, his eye lingered back at you. 

Charles laughed and shook his head, heading to confirm the little gossip with Pierre.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡⋆⭒˚.⋆ ₊˚⊹☆ ⋆˙⟡

[lore-ren-theories]

noooooooo the extent of parallels between Cole's personal quest in inquisition and Solas being a spirit—I know many have pointed out how Solas being confirmed to be a spirit recontextualises Cole's personal quest.

Cole's personal quest and the contrast between Varric and Solas's views in it, in turn, also really furthers my appreciation of Solas's arc in Veilguard.

I'm partway through Noah Caldwell-Gervais' A Thorough Look at Dragon Age, a quote from the video:

"I love the idea that spirits have true, immutable natures. That the way they survive such a chaotic flux of improbabilities, is by being inflexibly true to themselves. It is the material world that is full of hypocrisy and contradiction by comparison. By siding with the world of spirits, Solas is admitting, essentially, that the human world is too hard for him. He is weary of everything that makes it so complicated and so disappointing. It would be easier to go back to how things used to be."

To me that last line sounds like one of the 'easy lies' Solas tells himself, but this did get me thinking.

Even before the Veil, Solas saw so many spirits corrupted after taking on a body. Becoming mortal (killable) and unchanging brings with it not only regret, but a very complex and foreign regret for somebody that used to be formless in an unfixed world.

From the DA wiki, a summary as I can't look up the conversation word for word right now:

Nevertheless, it is not unheard of for spirits to evolve and become more "human" by coming to terms with grief, heal from being emotionally hurt, and thus be able to learn from what they endured. By coming to terms with grief, a spirit is able to grow as a person and not "wash clean" like a spirit.

The way Varric continues to believe in Solas's ability to change despite his wrongdoings is something you can take on yourself as Rook, whether that's because you sympathise with Solas or because you want to honour Varric's wishes.

Varric says Cole needs to work through his emotions, Solas replies that a spirit doesn't work through emotions, it embodies them. Then Varric says:

"But he isn't a spirit, is he? He made himself human, and humans change. They get hurt, and they heal."

That's just like how Varric approaches Solas. Varric knows Solas is an immortal ancient elf, but he doesn't know that Solas was a spirit once. Even if he did, this line indicates that it wouldn't change how Varric would have approached him. Solas became 'human' by taking on a body, just like Cole did.

Solas admits to Cole: "I am not a spirit, and sometimes it is hard to remember such simple truths." but when you consider that spirits don't die in the traditional sense, this truth doesn't really sound all that simple.

Solas's biggest fear, dying alone, is something inconceivable to a spirit, and it's such a human fear.

Varric (or Rook's memory of Varric) tells Rook: "Because you always chose the hard truth over the easy lie. Solas, on the other hand..." which further drives the point home: Solas exists in a state of utter denial about how human he is.

Solas being in favour of Cole remaining a spirit reflects Solas's own regret of taking on a body, and fear for Cole's life in what's to come if Solas succeeds, it would also harm the world as spirits of compassion are already so few and far between. Yet Solas being in favour of Cole remaining a spirit may serve an additional purpose: one of denial.

If Cole can exist in this world and remain a spirit, then Solas can conveniently forget that he no longer is one himself. If Cole becomes more human, longer lifespan aside, how different is Solas really from others who are 'human', too?

When Rook asks Solas to atone for what he's done, Rook effectively asks him to also come to terms with his grief and take the time to heal from being emotionally hurt so finally he can learn from what he has endured.

Just like that you're extending the same opportunity to Solas, that Varric did to Cole: the opportunity to become more human.

I love Varric's view that yeah sure, Solas has all these extremely complicated reasons for doing what he did, but at the end of the day he can't bear to face the pain he is in. He's just as human as the rest of us, which means he can learn from his mistakes and that maybe some day, he can heal.

There's plenty to say about how Veilguard handled Solas's motivations for tearing down the Veil, how he's characterised, etc. but personally I'm a sucker for this kind of framing of his story.

It really resonates with me. Sometimes, you don't need complicated solutions to your problems. You don't need to deep dive into why you are the way you are, or why you do the things you do. You just need to share why you're hurting so you can get a hug, a comforting hand on your shoulder, and some much needed words of reassurance.

Every Solas deserves a Varric in their life.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

In Class 2

I was going to wait to binge watch the rest of the show tomorrow but honestly I need to put this show behind me for several reasons. Let me just get this out of the way before I say anything else. I am a big fan of the manhwa, simple as it may be. I have lived with these characters in my head for two years now. So my bias is clearly showing. But one thing that I want to make perfectly clear. Just because I love the manhwa, and admittedly I have a bias, does not mean I am dense, and incapable of watching and judging the show as it's own thing. I still have a brain. Ok. Now for the show. This usually goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. These are my opinions. Read at your own risk.

This is not a bad show. It's also not a bl. And that fact alone, makes this a bad adaptation. Let’s be honest, they adapted a bl and turned it into something that’s not a bl any more, as many have stated before. This is a kdrama with queer themes. Liking the show, and even acknowledging that it’s good, doesn’t change that fact. And if people honestly can't understand why people would have a problem with that, then nothing I will say about it will make a difference.

Now for the actual show. As a kdrama this isn't a bad series. The characters have depth, the astronomy metaphors are clever, even if at times they felt really heavy-handed, the acting is really good, for the most part, and there are some brilliant scenes that could make this show a great one. But it doesn't all come together. It's inconsistent. And it doesn't commit to its queerness. It's a series that was made two years ago, and it shows. Maybe even further back, actually. Which, regardless of my feelings for the source, is just sad. I'm not a romance kdrama watcher so I have no real frame of reference in that regard. But it seems like this show wanted to be a couple of different things but ended up not being either. It's not queer enough to be a bl, but it's too queer to be mainstream. It's not hard to see why this show couldn't find distribution for two years. They were aiming for mainstream but that was never gonna happen two years ago. Well, it didn't happen right now either, so...

My favourite part was the sisters. I love them. I think their various adventures in dating were really important as a parallel to Heesu. Which is one of the reasons I don't think the Chanyoung and JiYu couple were necessary to drive that point home. Nor do I think that's why they were there. One of my favourite scenes was Heesu coming out to his sister. And her reaction basically being, "Oh, I should say I love him now, that's what one should do in this situation." It was so well done.

Ahn Ji Ho was great as Heesu. Just really great. His emotions shined through beautifully throughout the whole series. Lee Sang Jun also did an amazing job as Seung Won. His physicality was on point at all times. I love these two so much. 

I think time was not used efficiently here. Mostly with the queer couple. I live for pining besties. But by episode 9, there were way too many chances and everything with the hets was already in the open, so why stretch it out? Cause it feels purposefully stretched. The editing in the final two episodes was a mess and I kept wondering what might've been left on the cutting room floor. It just didn't flow at all, and I kept getting pulled out of the emotional journey. It really seemed like they were forced to have 10 episodes but they couldn't really give us more than 5 minutes of the boys together so they made a mess of things in the final stretch.

I think the friendship between Heesu and Chanyoung was the weaker part of all this. They never felt, to me, like best friends. A lot of times, there's an issue with friends to lovers, which is the blurring of lines. You are crushing on your best friend, so everything becomes deeper, more hurtful, than if he was just your best friend.  I think for the most part, Heesu navigated this pretty well. We've certainly seen much worse. He slipped sometimes and messed up, but he never really stopped being by Chanyoung's side. 

However, this is still a very unbalanced friendship, mostly because of Chanyoung. He makes fun of Heesu for not having any friends, but it seems like he has the same problem. Cause it seems like he only reaches out to Heesu when he has a problem. He comes and goes as he pleases, and if he hadn't been sleeping at his house and seen Heesu unable to sleep, I doubt he would've noticed anything was wrong with Heesu at all. I'm not saying Heesu was a perfect friend, btw. But the confession scene and the subsequent summoning of Heesu to the tennis court where Chanyoung could feel safe, where he literally has home court advantage, where he could throw balls at Heesu, was a step too far for me. (Also, JiYu, you could do better!)

I liked the final three minutes because I have a heart. And I could finally watch my boys be together even if only for a short time. But it came too late and it stumbled too much to get there for me to feel the level of joy that I usually get. I think I needed more of them throughout the show to feel that same sense of joy when they moved past all the hurdles and finally got together.

I think maybe I should stop now. I think I could forgive more about this show if it was actually mainstream. If I could say, you know what? At least we're getting a queer coming of age story in a mainstream kdrama. I might still not like that they chose this manhwa for it, because there’s no shortage of those, so to pick one that is just about two boys falling in love and little else confuses me. But at least then I could feel like something was accomplished here. As it stands, I'm just left disappointed by a show that I had been waiting for since I first read the manhwa a couple of years ago.

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie 7x07 "Ghost of a Second Chance" Meta

So sorry for the delay! This one took me a minute due to life/work stuff happening, but here it is! A doozy! This episode had a lot of parallels with the other characters storylines happening so bear with me here! This is mostly going to be about Eddie.

This episode deals a lot with past trauma, specifically bringing up stuff that some of the characters haven't dealt with in a while or seemingly had already dealt with in the past. Maddie with Doug's abduction, Bobby and the apartment fire, Eddie and Shannon. All of these are re-introduced in this episode, but it's important to note that they are NOT resolved, mostly Bobby and Eddie, and will likely continue into the rest of the season. Maddie reacts the most noticeably to her trauma being triggered, and of the three, she's the only one who has actually managed to work through that trauma from the past, so while it does affect her, it does not cause her to self-destruct like Eddie and most likely Bobby will.

As many of us predicted, we theorized that it was going to get much worse for Eddie before it would get better. And this episode has put Eddie on that path that will likely take him towards rock bottom if Ryan and Tim's interviews and teasers for his 7b arc are to be believed.

The first big parallel to Eddie's storyline is the woman and her baby being abducted by a man with mental health problems who allowed a past trauma with his ex-wife/child to reach a dangerous point. While Eddie's actions in this episode are not placing a woman's life in danger, it does parallel how in pursuit of soothing his own pain, Eddie and this man, are prioritizing their own feelings, over the feelings of a woman stranger (Kim) and an innocent kid.

I was already anticipating many many Shannon call-backs in this episode, but the writers dive in immediately by having Chimney intubate Catherine. This is the same heavy choice Chimeny had to make when Shannon was hit by a car, and Chimney was interim Captain. He had to make a choice to either intubate Shannon, effectively taking away her last chance to say dying words or to not intubate and allow Eddie and Shannon to exchange final words. With Shannon, Chimney does not intubate, but with Catherine, he does. This could possibly indicate the need for Eddie to make different decisions this time around if he wants to survive this new catastrophic plotline.

This was an interesting way for the writers to give us a kind of "speedrun" of introducing us to Marisol a bit more. I know that the ENTIRE fandom has been bugging over the fact that we "hardly know anything about Marisol other than DIY and Nunnery", and now they're giving us more information, but notably it's all very surface-level information. It makes the scene feel like Eddie's trying to get to know her for the first time instead of this being a woman he's been seeing for about six months at this point.

While 7x05 did indicate to us that Eddie is trying to get to know her all over again, it really does drive home how little effort Eddie has put into trying to build a relationship with her, which is then further proved by the rest of the episode. All of this demonstrated very clearly just how little investment Eddie has had in ANY of his relationships after Shannon's death. It's probably supposed to make us think "Oh, that's because he only ever truly loved Shannon!" but in reality, the Eddie-Shannon onscreen relationship was very tumultuous, and they spent most of their relationship (even during their time pre-military) away from each other. All in all, the topic of how well Eddie knows the women he's with, and how much effort/investment he puts into his relationships (including Shannon) are being pulled into question here. And I think it's being done to show the audience that Eddie has only ever dated and married women as a duty and not something he actually does because he wants to be with the women as people. Once again, this includes Shannon.

Before Marisol can even finish her two truths and a lie, Eddie interrupts, starting to dictate the conversation again, and Chris is the one who has to step in, reminding Eddie that this moment is about Marisol. Eddie has been the one to lead his relationships with both Ana and Marisol, almost to the point of steamrolling over them. A similar thing happened in his relationship with Shannon, where Shannon notes that Eddie is always making decisions for them without consulting her, including going to the military, or moving Chris to a new school, etc. and how that was always a giant issue in their relationship. While this moment is not Eddie purposely steamrolling over Marisol, it does show that again, Eddie has a myopic view of relationships with women, where he's constantly trying to steer them towards something that he wants without really letting the woman have any agency. Shannon had to physically leave him in order to get any agency of her own.

Additionally, the choice to have the get to know you game be "two truths and a lie", inherently implies dishonesty, or at least makes us think of lying. And considering that becomes a theme for Eddie this episode and likely in upcoming episodes, it's also indicative of the general theme of not knowing someone and not being honest with them. It could've been "twenty questions" or something not involving purposely lying, but instead it's two truths and lie, and Eddie is now about to be involved in a whole bunch of lies.

I've seen others point out that this line is clearly meant to compare Marisol and Shannon. Shannon, Chris and Eddie had a tradition involving smores, one that Chris and Eddie were trying to keep alive only last season when they visited Shannon's grave. This line is meant to show us that Marisol is not Shannon, and as Eddie actually gets to know her, this is more and more evident. It's no fault of Marisol's, but it's likely what is sticking in Eddie's head, right before he ends up meeting Kim. Eddie, once again dictating what he wants Marisol to be rather than accepting the truth of who Marisol is, exclaims that obviously Marisol has had smores because Shannon loved smores. But Marisol is not Shannon, and Eddie is always comparing his partners to Shannon in unhealthy ways.

While this line is clearly a joke, nothing is done without purpose in TVland, and this is another one of those times where even though Eddie's joking, it's actually telling of how he actually feels. He's already had one foot out the door with Marisol for the last 3-4 episodes, and now it's the smores that makes him say "we can still leave her" because who Marisol is, does not align with who Shannon was. But the thing is, I have a hard time believing that Shannon was even who Eddie truly wanted, at least not without expectation or pressure. Shannon is an Ideal, and no one, not even Shannon herself, can live up to it. No woman is supposed to or can reach this Ideal, because (in my opinion) a woman is not really what Eddie wants deep down in his most hidden of unconscious desires.

"You two aren't going anywhere". Oh, the dramatic irony is killing me here. Because not even a couple of minutes later, Marisol has lost Eddie for good when he sees Kim. The death bells have already been ringing from the very beginning, but this is the final death knell that has been rung. Even if Eddie stays with Marisol through most of this arc, their relationship will end, as will his relationship with Kim.

Eddie and Kim lock eyes and he's reminded of Shannon instantly. Because of that, this relationship is dead before it even begins. A moment later, Christopher calls out "Dad!" just like he did when Shannon and Eddie were on the beach, interrupting Eddie's thoughts.

Marisol notices Eddie acting weird, asks if he's alright, he says he's fine, and she calls him out, asking "is that the truth or a lie?" He promises he's fine, but we as an audience know that's a big ole lie. This has been the case for years, and it's interesting that it's coming at this point in the season. The early half of the season we saw Eddie the "happiest" he's ever been. And I can't help but wonder how much of that was true happiness, and how much of that was just putting off thinking about it. It's easier to lie and say he's fine, that his relationships are fine, that his relationship with Shannon was fine. It's harder to admit the truth, that he's not okay, that his relationships with Marisol and Ana were unhealthy and his relationship with Shannon was the unhealthiest of all. It's easier to place the blame on his unhappiness on missing Shannon, instead of admitting that it's his own choices that are making him unhappy.

Another theme of this episode is internalized biases and misunderstanding the current situation due to being blinded by the past. Maddie misses crucial details of her call with Catherine because she was looking at it with too much bias about her own situation with Doug. Eddie also misremembers his past with Shannon, but instead of recognizing his mistake like Maddie, and trying to look at it objectively, Eddie lets that bias from the past effect his current decisions, which is already resulting in a mistake by cheating with Kim and will likely result in more mistakes the rest of this season.

Maddie heard what she expected to hear. Eddie is seeing in Kim what he expects to see from Shannon. Both lead to really bad outcomes.

Eddie goes back to find Kim/Shannon, and they meet. She looks similar but not really the same (btw, kudos to the makeup team, wow). She has similar facial expressions (nose scrunches, giggles, etc.) and she asks him if he's looking for something specific. And the answer is yes, he's looking for Shannon in Kim, just as he was looking for Shannon in Marisol and Ana.

This is very obviously a sexual innuendo, which is interesting because their first real interaction is showing more of a "sexual" chemistry, than anything really romantic, or soul-connecting. It's a clear harkening back to how Eddie would use sex as a way to stop fights between himself and Shannon. It's also one of Eddie's biggest distancing tools. He used sex to distance himself from Shannon and from Marisol, as an excuse to not address problems, or just simply to not get to know them. And given that Eddie was having sexual dysfunction issues in his last major episode, this is meant to provide a juxtaposition to that. Sort of a "Hey look Eddie couldn't get it up for Marisol the Nun but he can get it up for the Shannon look-alike". On the surface, this might be to show us that Eddie really only has sexual chemistry with Shannon, but if you look below the surface even a little bit, you'll realize that his sexual relationship with Shannon was also deeply dysfunctional, but in its own way.

The answer is no. Eddie does not trust Kim because she's a stranger, but this line is meant to remind us that Eddie very much DID NOT trust Shannon for most of her arc in season 2 and even up until her death. It's a callback to the line in season 2 Merry Ex-Mas where Eddie says he "forgives Shannon but doesn't trust her" and Shannon says something along the lines of "Eddie trusting her enough to have sex with her, but not enough to let her see her own son". Kim is hitting all the lines that are meant to remind Eddie of rose colored "Good times" but are meant to remind us, the audience, of all the issues he had with Shannon.

This moment of Eddie and Shannon on the beach is meant to represent Eddie's "happiest" moment on-screen with Shannon when she was alive. Eddie remembers it that way, as kissing Shannon and finally having his family back together. But in actuality, it was the start of the end for them. Shannon thought she was pregnant, paralleling the time when they accidentally got pregnant as teens and both of them had to put their lives on hold and commit to a marriage that might not have been the ultimate right choice for them. If any of you remember, this is also the moment where Eddie and "signs" and the "universe" are connected for the first time. Eddie asks for a sign, and Shannon says she's pregnant. In my personal opinion, this was supposed to be a sign for Eddie to not get back together with her, given how traumatic it was the first time around, but he ignores it and tries to push down his feelings. "Life is like a vat of chocolate, it pulls you down but it's comfortable". And when Shannon very clearly stated she wanted a divorce, Eddie did not really seem to accept it...and the universe took Shannon away permanently. (Again, I want to reiterate this is all about fiction I'm talking about here not irl, okay? This does not apply to real life) The universe tried to warn Eddie, to bring him a sign, and when he ignored it, as he always does, the universe decided it needed to take Shannon away permanently.

And now here we are again, 6 years later, with Eddie ignoring ALL the signs over and over and over, and setting about down this path with Marisol that literally everyone knows will not make Eddie happy, and what does the universe do? It throws him the biggest wrench it could by bringing someone who looks/acts like Shannon back into his life. Kim was brought in by the universe (the writers) to show Eddie that his relationship with Shannon was not as wonderful and amazing as he remembers it....and he ignores all of the signs yet a-fucking-gain. I get the feeling that this arc with Kim is going to end VERY. VERY. badly for Eddie. I think we should all be preparing ourselves for that.

Eddie is making active duplicitous choices here. He's lying about being in a relationship with someone else, lying about being a single dad. And it's not the first time he's said something like this (see the "taken for now" line in 7x04), further demonstrating how he's always had one foot out the door with Marisol.

I also want to point out that Eddie lying and deceiving Kim and cheating on Marisol is not meant to be the show saying "this is good! this is who Eddie's supposed to end up with!" The writers know how most people feel about cheating. Most people are 100% aware that cheating is morally wrong, and by Eddie making these decisions, they're not supposed to show that Eddie is inherently a cheater or a bad guy. He's acting OOC on purpose. The writers want us to see Eddie lying and cheating and want us to clock that Something is Very Very Very Wrong and that has to do with Eddie's romantic relationships, Shannon, his perception of Shannon, his perception of his past marriage, and his expectations of himself.

We, as an audience, are not supposed to be enjoying this. We're meant to be uncomfortable.

911 is doing something really interesting lately with their pointed use of Full First Names vs. Nicknames. When I heard this my first thought was actually of Ana and how cringe it was to hear her calling Eddie Edmundo all the time. Shannon actually never once called Eddie by his full name. If anything, Eddie calling himself Edmundo here, introducing himself by it, is once again supposed to trigger the audience's "Something Is Wrong Here" mode. I was also going to mention how this is also something a lot of people have felt with Tommy's constant use of "Evan" instead of Buck. Some people like it, some people don't, but everyone can acknowledge that it's odd and unusual.

Even as he's flirting with Kim, talking more about "stimulation", Eddie is holding an "S" for Shannon. I think when Kim told Eddie her name, a sharp K, very far away from the soft S of Shannon, it was a slight shock to him. If her name was something similar like Sherri or Sheila or something, Eddie could've lived in the fantasy more. Her name being Kim momentarily broke the illusion, hence him looking down at the S for Shannon.

Eddie is remembering the first time he slept with Shannon after she came back into his life while he's sitting at the table with Marisol, completely ignoring her. But not only that, as many people have pointed out, he's misremembering. The walls in the background are recent, with the new teal color and his new bed. Shannon's hair is a cross between dark and light, almost like a mix of Kim and Shannon, and--and this one rocked my world--they had sex right side up.

Many have pointed out how it's odd that Eddie and Marisol's sex scene harkened so similarly back to his one sex scene with Shannon, where they both ended up at the tail end of the bed, upside down. People have often discussed Eddie and his upside-down sex as a metaphor for unhealthy sexual connection, for misconnection, and right side up sex to be healthy sex. To find that he is thinking of him and Shannon in his memory of being right side up has been pointed out by others to be yet another example of Eddie's rose-colored memories of his past with Shannon. In his memory, he views his relationship and sexual relationship with Shannon as this Amazing and One of a Kind thing, hence the right-side-up sex, but in reality, it was upside down, it wasn't healthy.

He's looking at his relationship with Shannon through a veil of the present, chock full of regrets, would've/could've/should've's, and two almost-failed relationships. Not to mention that he literally was just having extreme sexual dysfunction with Marisol not even two episodes ago it's very likely that his remembering this passionate, voracious, unquenchable thirst for Shannon is also brought on by the fact that he's having sexual issues with Marisol. It might also be him wanting to remember that he does and did have desire for sex with women...as long as they're Shannon or reminding him of Shannon. This is not at all supposed to be something that is represented as healthy for Eddie, and I don't believe the show is trying to put across that message.

Eddie remembers his sex with Shannon, and when he decided to "bring Shannon home for Christmas". Even in this scene, the focus is not on the two of them as a couple. He doesn't talk about how much he missed her, or how it feels good to be close to her again. He talks about how he wants to reunite her and Christopher. "Santa" in this present day and age is bringing "Shannon" home for Christmas, by bringing Kim into Eddie's life.

Bringing it back to Maddie's storyline, with the Big Bad Kidnapper of this episode. He was encouraged by his sister to move across the country for a fresh start after his wife and baby left him due to his own abusive actions (assumed, but the sister did say they were "afraid of him"). We don't know too much of the details of this man's story, but it does show a clear parallel to Eddie too, with his wife leaving him to move across the country too (though she left their son with Eddie because obviously, Eddie's not abusive like this man). But the man's sister was hoping that this move would mean he would "stop looking for them". Eddie ends up doing the same thing with Shannon metaphorically. He never stops looking for her in all of his romantic relationships, hurting other women like Ana and Marisol, in the process.

The man is so clearly a parallel to Eddie but in the worst most devolved way. Eddie has been seeking out a Mom for Chris for years, even when Shannon was alive. It was never about Shannon, wanting her, loving her, needing her because he's so deeply in love with her. No, it was, and still is, always about the mother she could be for Chris. It's the same thing he did with Ana, and with Marisol. I'm not sure if this thing he's doing with Kim will eventually lead there too, or if it won't make it that far before it gets blown up in his face. But Kim cannot be a new mother for Chris, even if she wants to be. Christopher would clock that she looks like Shannon, and might feel betrayed, like Eddie is actively trying to replace Shannon, which I doubt Christopher would take well. So what is Eddie's endgame here? In my honest opinion, I don't think he has one. I think he's acting on pure emotional hurt, and desperately seeking out a balm, and not considering the consequences of his actions.

Just like that man was hit dead on with the literal consequences with the police, I think Eddie's gonna be hit HARD as a result of these mistakes. I feel like it might be something really bad, possibly involving Christopher. If "isolation" is going to become the thing he might have to contend with Christopher being really really angry with him in whatever way that takes form, and the rest of the firefam not being happy with him either. I think Eddie's going to be going through another arc similar to where he was emotionally in season 3a with the streetfighting arc.

Just how like the man who abducted her was a parallel to Eddie, Catherine herself is also a parallel to Eddie. She's clearly in pain, but she refuses drugs that will make her feel better. She feels she has to stay awake and endure the pain as a comeuppance, similar to how Eddie felt he had to endure his pain like a man because he deserved it. She feels her husband will hate her, just like how Eddie feared Shannon would hate him for what he did. He fears Shannon would never forgive him, but just like Catherine, even worse is the fact that Eddie has yet to ever forgive himself. No matter how many times people tell her it's not her fault, no matter how many times people tell Eddie he's a good father or a good person, they will never believe it. That guilt still rocks them, and for Eddie, it's been the monkey on his back every day LOONNGGG before Shannon even passed. Likely he's been dealing with it from the second he found out he got her pregnant. Even though Catherine's daughter was returned to her, she will still likely feel guilty, just as Eddie's guilt has lingered and festered and turned to rot the longer it's gone unchecked.

It'll only be once Eddie can let go of that guilt, let go of Shannon, and forgive himself, will he ever be able to actually start healing, and making the right choices for himself.

Many people have pointed out how this parallels the scene in 3x03 with Christopher and Eddie coming to Buck's house after the tsunami. That was a moment where Buck was feeling "lost at sea" and Eddie and Chris came in to be his "life raft that gets you home." And now Eddie's the one lost at sea. He thinks he has to find Shannon when really all he really needs is here with Buck and Chris. Eddie and Chris are "late", but eventually, they will find their way home to Buck.

Have y'all ever heard the phrase "where there's smoke, there's fire"? It means that if there's a rumor or something being said about a topic, there must be some back story/truth in it. It's what I point out every time the show "jokes" about Eddie's sexuality or lack thereof to women, Eddie ready to leave Marisol, etc. They're in the script because there's a kernel of truth to them, even if it's still nebulous (or smoky) at the moment.

Additionally, Buck is making a new lasagna recipe (a metaphor for his new found bisexuality and MM relationship with Tommy) and something about it is not working. In the same way that I've been theorizing that there is misalingment in his relationship with Tommy, we're now seeing that lasagna (like in 6x01 where the couch theory was introduced) is yet another metaphor for Buck's relationships. He had 3 at that point in time (as well as 3 failed attempts at lasagna) and now he's here in a new relationship, and something about it isn't working, he just doesn't know what. I'll reiterate, it's not the bisexuality, but rather the person he's in a relationship with. This being told once again to Eddie, in Buck's kitchen, with Chris present, is driving home the point once again.

Eddie, on the other hand, is aligned with Buck. He knew ahead of time to order a pizza for them. This isn't usual, given that Buck's a good cook, and has cooked for Chris and Eddie many times. Eddie being attuned to Buck right now is meant to show that he can sense these things about Buck, even when it's not conscious.

"To be seen… to be found… isn't that what we're all searching for?"

Buck assumes Eddie's meeting with Marisol, and Eddie does not correct him. I've seen other people mention how this feels like Eddie is cheating on Buck, and not really on Marisol, and in my opinion, that all comes down to who is Eddie more emotionally intimate with. He already feels super disconnected to Marisol, even more so in this episode, but we've spent the first half of this season establishing how Buck and Eddie are closer than ever. So Eddie lying to Buck feels like the real cheating here, because Eddie has only ever given himself fully to Buck, in all his messed up glory. He's never given that to Marisol, or Ana. And he most definitely never gave that to Shannon.

Side note, I loved the cologne line because it implies that Buck knows how Eddie smells, and that smelling him now is something Buck is enjoying. Him saying they won't wait up for Eddie further cements the domesticity of the scene. Buck has a full relationship with Chris outside of Eddie, but they also have a strongly established bond all three of them. In an episode where Eddie assumes Marisol must love smores despite her never having tried one, Eddie inherently knows that Buck's struggling with lasagna and needs to order a pizza.

Eddie and Buck's flirting--because that's what it is-- feels natural. More so than the flirting with Marisol in the beginning of the episode, and more so than with Kim-Not-Shannon that was moored down by the reality that Eddie is severely projecting all of his major issues onto her. Buck and Eddie have an easy rapport filled with mutual support, inside jokes, gentle ribbing, synchronicity and above all, friendship and trust. THAT is why the betrayal of Eddie with Kim only a few moments later feels so stark and like a huge blow to the audience.

Eddie sees Kim, and all he sees is Shannon's face, but I have to give MASSIVE kudos to the hair, costume, and makeup department here because they couldn't make Kim look ANY more starkly different from Shannon. In the scenes at the store, Kim is dressed more professionally, in lighter more inviting colors. And then here, when Kim can take off the customer service mask, and be fully herself, we see that she dresses in darker clothing, pants, and jackets with her hair up in almost an alternative-punk style. It's a MASSIVE contrast to Shannon who was almost always dressed in lighter, warmer colors, in shades of orange, yellow, and warm pinks, with minimal makeup and long flowy dresses or soft sweaters. Shannon's hair was almost always down and flowing around her face with her bangs. Kim's hair is completely up, totally out of her face in a severe bun look, without any bangs. She could not look father from Shannon if she tried. And yet, Eddie is not seeing Kim, he's not seeing the individual woman who's probably really lovely, the woman he's inherently hurting by using her to be reminded of his dead wife. No, all he sees is Shannon, and he's 100% willing to tank his whole life just to get a bit of that feeling back.

Eddie is on his way towards rock bottom, and this episode is only getting started. The glass is going to shatter extremely hard, and I worry for what the consequences will be for Eddie for all this, because there's no way he's escaping this without deep cuts. He will likely lose Marisol and Kim in one fell swoop. As for Buck, Chris and the rest of the 118, that's yet to be seen. But we know Eddie's parents show back up later on, so they could be coming in with the steel chair, likely to hit Eddie harder when he's already down. After all, the originator of "Don't drag him down with you, Eddie" is none other than Helena Diaz. This season is giving very strong season 3/4 vibes, and if that's the case, it's possible Helena and Ramon are going to pose a problem by the end of the season like they might've done in season 4 if things had gone as originally planned.

I'm worried, scared and excited to see how this ends up for Eddie. But I'm also hopeful. I see a light at the end of this tunnel. After all, it's always darkest just before dawn.

Thanks for reading my meta!

[the-real-frosted-flaky]

Okay first rambling post of the blog (and also the reason I decided to make this blog in the first place) but has anyone who played through beast-yeast ep. 2 noticed an interesting implication about Shadow Milk’s statement about the Ancients each being “half a cookie” according to his quiz show?

The reasoning for that statement was because each Ancient technically only possesses half of the full soul jam — that being the “purified” half of it — thus making them only half-cookies because they only have half-souls. However, I can’t help but wonder if Shadow Milk considered the implication he set out that the Beasts are *also* only half-cookies because of that same reasoning? Was it intentional? If so, why?

Longer ramble under the cut:

First off, the most obvious intention of that quiz question was to demoralize the ancients, especially Pure Vanilla and White Lily. The former because the nature of the question and its trick-answer would force Pure Vanilla to draw the conclusion that all the Ancients are only half-cookies himself, making the psychological impact of the statement more potent than if Shadow Milk were to outright say it, because if Pure Vanilla comes to that conclusion mostly on his own, it feels like his own idea, and thus is easier to internalize.

The question also works effectively to demoralize White Lily because she immediately interpreted it as a pointed question towards herself, as she had just recently been resurrected and told that she had only half of her lifespan due to Dark Enchantress’s continued existence. That was the trick answer, and she played right into it, so she would immediately internalize the message that she’s only half a cookie, in other words, only half a person. Shadow Milk was also especially direct with her specifically because he continued to call her half-a-cookie for the rest of the episode, further driving home the point.

However…. If operating with consistent logic here, the idea that the Ancients are all only half-people due to the nature of their current souljams implies the same thing for the Beasts. Shadow Milk himself is then only half a cookie. I don’t remember any cookie in game pointing that out, and I only thought about it recently, after finishing the episode as a whole.

One could argue that it was an oversight in his eagerness to insult and break down the Ancients, but I doubt he would be that… careless, for lack of a better word. He’s been sealed away in the Silver Tree for a long time, and we can infer that he’s planned his whole grand escape and what comes afterwards due to how he immediately gets to work on taking over the Faerie Kingdom, how he had been watching and manipulating Pure Vanilla long before escaping, AND his ally ship with Dark Enchantress.

So could it be that he just neglected to iron out the fine details? Of course.

But I want to consider the implications of it all if he was intentionally drawing those parallels between the Ancients and the Beasts. He’s been established as a very calculating, scheming antagonist, even despite being as erratic as he is (or maybe even because of that).

Surely he would’ve noticed a loophole in his own words. Was he assuming no one would notice because they’re more preoccupied with stopping him or getting the “correct” answer than truly thinking about the game itself? Was it hubris on his part to think that no one would be as smart as him to piece it together? Or… did he maybe *want* someone to pick up on the implication, whether consciously or subconsciously?

I’ve only done episodes 1 and 2 of beast-yeast so far, and I just recently finished episode 2, so I don’t know enough about Shadow Milk’s canon characterization to say for sure what his most likely intentions and motivations are. I’m afraid I’m not entirely familiar with his psyche enough to draw definitive conclusions.

That being said, I have seen the popular interpretation that deep down, Shadow Milk is incredibly lonely, and even if it’s in a small, unintentional amount, he’s partially motivated by this deep-seated loneliness. This, combined with his policy of “every good lie has a grain of truth”, could lead one to believe that maybe he wanted someone to notice that he also sees himself as only half of a whole ever since he had his full power stripped from him. If someone saw that, they’d see *him*. To what end? Who knows?

Whatever the reason or end goal, however, I imagine that his loneliness and sense of isolation far predate the main events of the game. Being the Fount Of Knowledge can’t have been easy socially, after all.

And it seems that there’s one cookie in particular who is the closest to getting to see that, by nature of being the other half he’s missing. It’s the very same cookie that got every single question in his quiz right. The very same cookie that understood his game.

I might expand on this post more after I do Shadow Milk’s other beast yeast episodes. That’ll be a while though, as I plan to do the episodes in order (e.g: I’m doing episodes three and four first, which are Mystic Flour focused I believe).

[aihoshiino]

The thing about me is that I am a bit of a freak when it comes to the way characters refer to each other, especially when it’s my blorbos. So I have basically a mental chart of how ai calls others and how others call her.

I find it fascinating that in akane’s ai performance, she changes how she addresses others. Going from ‘aqua-kun’ to just ‘aqua’ and ‘yuki-chan’ to ‘yuki’. (Side note: when I was double checking the og jp text, I was surprised by how much aikane borrowed from yuki.)

Professor of ai, do you think this aspect of aikane is accurate to the real ai? What do you make of aikane in general?

If I remember correctly, ai is yobisute with a couple of people, aqua and ruby(obviously), watanabe and takamine in 45510, we never see ai call hikaru by name (a fact I am very normal about) but in 15YL they are yobisute with each other.

I think Aikane is pretty interesting as like... an in-universe reflection of what Ai's 'public' self was understood to be. On the one hand, the fact that Akane was able to get such a good read on Ai just through examining publicly available information is an early reflection/indication of the fact that 'Ai of B-Komachi' really isn't that different from the supposed "real" Ai and that she contains enough of Ai's authentic self for Akane to replicate it, at least in part.

On the other hand, she is ultimately only a recreation of Ai's public self, and whatever the manga might try and tell us... Akane doesn't really know who Ai is. She knows things about Ai, but that doesn't mean she understands her as a person. I think Akane, for better or worse, kind of just sees Ai like any other role she plays - a fictional character for her to come up with fun headcanons about so she can playact as her better as opposed to a real human being.

This is something season 2 of the anime supports with some interesting imagery, however accidentally;

Not only is Akane's image of Ai incomplete, but it's an image of Ai of B-Komachi, Ai's overly polished public self - and she's pictured alongside Sayahime, an entirely unreal fictional character. In Akane's mind, these two 'roles' are the same in form and weight.

I do definitely agree that Aikane borrows a LOT from Yuki, though! That was something that always seemed quite implicit to me, so I was always surprised that other people never really talk about it. Aikane is particularly forward and flirtatious and pushy in a way that even Ai of B-Komachi is not, but very much does reflect the version of herself that Yuki was playing on the show. And given that Aikane is born out of (among other things, obvs) Akane's sense of rivalry with Yuki and admiration of her, I think that makes a lot of sense.

(Yuki is also one of those Secretly Ai characters we see pop up in the first half of the manga, imo, which drives this home even further.)

Because of this, I think the terms of address thing is something Akane cribbed from Yuki rather than Ai - past a certain point (or perhaps when she's in Work Mode), Yuki calls Akane by her first name with no honorifics. I... don't remember if she does it for anybody else, off the top of my head? But at the very least, that's how she speaks to Akane.

ACTUALLY: Quick addendum to this while it's in my queue, but I suddenly remembered these two clearly paralleled lines:

The TL obscures this a teeny bit, but these lines are even more obviously and deliberately mirrored in Japanese:

「茜わ私のこと、嫌い？」 Akane wa watashi no koto kirai? 「ゆきわこう言う私、嫌い?」 Yuki wa kouiu watashi kirai?

The anime takes this a step further and has Aikane use the exact same inflection and even deliberate pacing of her speaking when she delivers this line. So definitely an indication to me that Aikane borrows just as much from Yuki as she does from the real Ai.

Back to the real Ai herself tho, this isn't really reflective of her own speech patterns. It can be easy to miss because the setup of the series is such that the Venn diagram of "characters Ai addresses by name" and "characters Ai addresses without honorifics" is almost a single circle lol but she's pretty polite with her honorifics usage and doesn't really jump to yobisute very fast, at least not with people's real names - we can infer that all the gen 1 B-Komachi girls only ever addressed each other by their stage names, for example, so Ai leaving off their honorifics can be understood as her addressing them by title instead, in the same way she calls Ichigo "President" and Gorou "Sensei".

Another thing that differentiates Ai from Aikane is that Aikane almost seems to go out of her way to use people's names, probably as a way of coming off as more forward and confident. By contrast, Ai herself does the opposite - Kyun mentions in POV B (i gotta start getting used to not calling it viewpoint b) that Ai tends to avoid using people's names because she often gets them wrong when she does (some combo of autism faceblindness & her low literacy meaning she struggles to correctly read name kanji probably) and doesn't want to get in trouble.

All this combined makes me feel pretty sure that Aikane is just a portrayal of the ideal of Ai in all senses of the word. Akane assembles her from all the prettiest, shiniest parts of Ai and Yuki and plays her as an effortlessly perfect, flirtatious and confident girl... which we all know the real Ai very much was not.

[marte-14]

Ravio Universe AU

Context:

It has taken a while for everyone to understand who was whose counterpart's.

But Sky spotted his mirror version immediately, after all he was carrying the Master Sword.... At least his version.

He couldn't take his eyes off him, and he noticed that Astral couldn't either.

On the Lorulian Hero's back there is Ghirahim, in his sword form. He is identical to the last time he saw him: blade of a dark crimson, the strange rhomboid form and the black handle.

The only difference is that the upside down Triforce is gold, not red like blood.

Sky is feeling a familiar sensation of fear in his stomach, images of escaping that swords strike at the last second, before it split open his head in half.

"Are you ok?" Wars asks, Sky nods quickly:"Y-yeah." He manages to look away:" Just surprised!" He tries to justify:" Didn't expect to meet heroes from a parallel universe!" Wars doesn't look convinced:" Yeah! We already have our time travel shenanigans, this is even stranger!" he doesn't question further, luckily.

-----

Everyone settles down, waiting for the dinner to be ready.

Each Link and Ravio are with their counterparts, asking questions and confronting adventures.

While around the fire the chattering is very lively and calm, on the other hand, at edge of the camp, the tension is rising between the two Chosen Heroes.

"You were cursed as well..." It's not a question, Astral tone is firm and direct to the point:" Yes..." Sky glances to the side, where they have placed their swords.

"You have him..."

"And you have her..." There is a touch of resentment in his voice.

Sky eyes return to Astral, frowning:" Fi was my companion during my adventure." Astral stares him in the eyes:" Must have been a really boring adventure."

"Fi helped me a lot. She was always kind and patient, answering all my questions about the surface. She made sure I got back home."

Astral rolls his eyes, scoffing:" Sure. Kind. Of course." Sarcasm is dripping from him.

Sky, logically knows that the Fi that Astral is talking about is not his Fi. Just like Astral's Ghirahim is not the one he met.

Still his blood is starting to boil.

"As if that demon was a better company." He says, without measuring his words.

Astral's posture is tense now:" He was of amazing company. Always with a ridiculous joke, trying to make me laugh. Always full of confidence that I would get Hilda back."

"On the other hand-" he waves in Fi's direction:" That cold hearted monster doesn't care about anything but her beloved Master!" His tone is louder.

Sky gets up:" That creepy bloodthirsty freak isn't better!"

There is no way to tell who jumped on who.

Sky only knows that he is on the ground, wrestling Astral and blind rage is the only thing driving them now.

"Sky!" One of his brothers shouts, but he completely ignores him.

Astral has a stronger grip than Sky, he pins him to the ground ready to punch him.

Astral may be stronger but Sky is quicker. He grabs his scarf, pulling him and headbutting him, as hard as he can.

Astral loses his hold of Sky, but still manages to punch him in the face.

Sky tries to attack back, but he is pinned back down again:" Cut it out!" This time by Warriors and Twilight.

"Astral! Calm down!" In the meantime, Minus and Midday are holding back Astral.

Hope and Time are standing between them, both concerned:" Sky! This isn't like you!" "Friend, deep breaths."

Finally, the two stop and accept to be treated for the wounds they inflicted on each other.

"What happened? You were acting strange even before." Wars tries to get answers but Sky stays silent, same Astral when Hope asks questions.

He just gives Hyrule the time to put badges on the worse injuries before getting up:" Sky!" Astral dies the same:" Astral!"

"If you-" Sky points a finger on his chest:"-Talk about Fi like that again. Not even your goddess will be able to save you."

Astral grabs his wrist tightly:" Try to even say Ghirahim's name and you will beg to face the Demon King again, instead of me."

He lets go of Sky.

They both turn in the opposite directions and leave to take a walk.

Their companions don't try to call for them.

-----

As already said under Astral's original post, Sky and Astral don't get along.

This is just the first of many fights between the two, even if they restrain themselves from punching the other, only for their brothers' sake.

[seaemberthesecond]

declan csa parallels haven't left me since I made the connection

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about this, because honestly same.

This is one of those things that I won't even say is a headcanon because it's not. It's a reading of the text, plain and simple. The evidence is all there.

Violation of autonomy, familial harm, and secrets are all big themes in tdt. The central problematic of the Lynch family is that the secrets in the underbelly tear them apart and prevent the brothers from connecting to each other in real and meaningful ways. They're deliberately denied the language and vocabulary to articulate their experiences out of fear of the family's secrets being exposed, leaving them unable to communicate with each other.

And in the middle of all of this, we have Declan.

Declan who, unbeknownst to his brothers, is experiencing a radically different childhood riddled with danger and violence and is forced to keep it a secret by his parents for the 'good of the family.' Declan who resents Ronan and Matthew for getting the idyllic childhood he's been deprived of, thus creating rifts in their relationship. Rifts that are further exacerbated because of the secrets he's forced to keep – he can't talk to them about what's actually happening in his life, he can't share anything real with them, so he constructs a fake persona to hide behind, even at home. But his brothers pick up on his artifice and withdraw from him, leaving him even more isolated.

This is…such a painfully obvious allegory for sexual abuse that I'm kind of dumbfounded by the fact that more people don't talk about it.

Both Ronan and Matthew recognize that Declan is treated differently by their parents, but they deliberately don't examine this too deeply because doing so would require that they acknowledge that something sinister lurked in the margins of their childhood and that's just not something they want to face. Declan's grief isn't as clear-cut as Ronan and Matthew's, because he's grappling with the very real harm his parents did to him, but he's demonized for his "sceptical and imperfect love" for Niall and Aurora. His attempts at getting Ronan to see that their parents weren't who he thought they were are met with hostility and scorn (and in Matthew's case, hesitant incredulity). Because again, Ronan doesn't want to hear it. He's actively standing there with his hands over his ears chanting lalalalalala. I mean in CDTH, we can see how very discomfited he gets when faced with Declan at the fairy market because it forces him to re-evaluate his own childhood in light of all this new information about his brother's secret life that was taking place right under his nose. And he does not want to do that.

I mean does that not drive you insane?? The subtext is THERE. Everything about how the Lynch Brothers' dynamic is set up allows for the reading that Declan has suffered some kind of sexual abuse at the hands of one/both of their parents.

And this is purely at a thematic level. It gets crazier when you consider Declan displays many of the characteristics and behaviours of sexual assault survivors.

His issues with intimacy

"It wasn’t that he hadn’t gone on dates or hooked up, that unlovely euphemism for what was sometimes a perfectly nice time. It was that he didn’t get too close. Intimacy was allowed as long as it revealed nothing truthful." (ch 69, cdth)

His 'hypersexuality'

“So he’s a man-whore. It’s not your problem,” Gansey said. (ch 4, trb)

His troubled relationship with physical touch

(He never initiates anything physical with Jordan, it's always her making the first move; his discomfort with Aurora's hug in the Dauntless Declan scene; his discomfort with Feniall's hug in CDTH; he avoids touching his brothers even and is surprised whenever Matthew reaches out to him.)

His disassociation from his own emotions

Declan Lynch had a complicated relationship with his family. It wasn’t that he hated them. Hate was such a slick, neat, simple emotion. Declan envied people who felt proper hate. (ch 10, MI)

So even if you choose to believe Declan wasn't assaulted by Niall or Aurora, there is still enough evidence in the text itself to suggest he's suffered from some kind of sexual violence during his childhood. Fairy Markets aren't exactly child-friendly places (the woman getting strangled in one of the rooms in CDTH anyone?) and it's not really a stretch to assume Declan had to put up with some fucky shit as a uhh* checks notes* 10-year-old in the uhhhh *checks notes again* black market for the rich and powerful.

And then there's the declan-adam-hennessy and the declan-adam-mor triangles which exist independent of whether you consider Declan a victim of sexual violence but certainly get reinforced if you subscribe to it. But I won't get into that.

All this to say, CSA survivor Declan you will always be real to me.

[angeldeviloshi]

Thinking bout the parallels between these two scenes again.

Makima's "if you kill Gun" leading to Denji's reckoning with death as pain and weaponised against him through the gun.

Yoru's "if you kill Death" to have Denji support her shooting to numb himself from death as pain through the gun.

Both operating through posession of Denji as the only source of happiness and normal for him, through context of sex, family, pethood.

Yoru's pulling away of Denji from Makima's lingering ghost in him ignited by Death. As she dons herself in the weapon that brought about Denji's grief through its very hand as her own.

Pulling him away from family set up by Makima, Denji's bond to Power, to Aki in his relationship with Nayuta to make Denji her family as a weapon.

A weapon doesn't need to think, only hollow vessels enacting the violence of those who wield it, like the church hybrids, like the gun fiend, the destruction of his home and normal by their violence.

That as a devil and weapon, Denji's only home, only family, safety lies in war, yet Makima projects her dream of mundane family life onto him, for Pochita, for her dream to be the ideal dream, for her to be Pochita's only one, such that they would complete each other with this normal as their deserved way of life as devils.

We can see Miri and Yoshida's convictions towards Denji as his shoulder devil/angel each advocating for these two sisters. Glory in war or domestic mundanity. The city and country mouse. Aki's duality in his pursuit of revenge and his home life with Denji and Power.

That Makima, through her machinations, prove to Denji that it is her concoction of happiness in the mundane that drives deep into his heart over the weapon he's designed to be as the hero.

That the fall hurts him harder than what being a mere hero could lift him. That Denji killed Gun not because he liked the idea of the public grovelling before him as their saviour but that he can't let them die, just as he knows Aki wouldn't, in the way Aki wouldn't let HIM die either when he took the knife for him and got him to pull the starter, to save them and the others from Eternity. Because he would have the chance of killing Gun.

The time came for Denji to be the destined hero but what does it cost him? As he yells at Yoru to stop firing her guns at those whom he can't let die and she tells him she's all that he needs to fulfill his call, his drive to live.

The answer to his purpose. To Pochita's fate as her spoils of war.

Yeah.

(from my miri cover analysis)

Barem tells him that there's no separation in his identity even as a human. Miri's personhood, agency as a human an illusion and impression of the human student he believes he is shared w Denji. This artificiality that Barem argues while his plans a misconstruction of Makima's dream for family built on brand and dogma as he hopes for the csm's return through the destruction of Denji's family. As we see the branding of Family Burger shown alongside his preachings of their given purpose.

(Side note wrt to Barem in quote. Ch.193 occurring against a backdrop of fire and ruin, Barem's framing as a weapon best utilised to bring about ruin with fire.)

Further reading.

[comixandco]

The four Sages were called back into the past by Terrako and they remember it happening

Tulin got to meet his hero, Revali, and decided to be just like him, adopting his idol’s brash personality and drive. He practises Revali’s Gale and eventually comes up with his own way to show off his mastery of wind, and when trouble hits his home he rushes to fix it on his own to prove how strong he has become and because, like Revali, he can’t stand idly by while he knows there’s still things he can do.

For Yunobo, when he goes back and meets his ancestor Daruk, he is a very timid and reactive Goron. He needs a push from others to come up with ideas and carry plans through, and when bad things happen to him his first instinct is to use his fire magic as a shield, to wait until the threat has passed by or somebody else has come to save him. But when he is sent back in time to Divine Beast vah Rudania, for the first time he has to be the one doing the saving. Daruk encourages Yunobo and is proud of him from the moment they meet, and it’s this support that gives Yunobo the confidence to help fight against Calamity Ganon, and to start YunoboCo when he gets home.

For Sidon, meeting his family from 100 years ago is bittersweet. He is proud that he was able to protect his sister, and it’s a comfort to know there is a version of him who will grow up alongside Mipha because of his bravery and fighting prowess. But as much joy as he got from seeing her, hugging her, and hearing her voice again, it just reminds him of how unfair her death was, of just how young she was when she died and how he is now older even though he’s the younger sibling. And at the end of the war, when he’s returned to their original time, he has to readjust to her absence all over again, and in light of that is it really a shock he’d have her statue moved further away from his home? And it also explains why he’s so desperate to protect Yona from the sludge.

Riju in AoC still a new ruler to her people, despite her accomplishments in BotW, she still feels guilty over the temporary loss of the Thunder Helm and isn’t sure if she can lead the Gerudo. She has a lot of confidence but is quick to falter when things go wrong. Urbosa treats Riju as a capable fighter despite her young age, and teaches her that she should never give up, to keep trying even when her resolve falters. There is always something you can do, even when it’s just stalling for time until help can arrive. Urbosa guides her in mastering the Thunderhelm, and possibly begins teaching her to summon lightning herself after Kohga attempts to steal it, and at the end of their time together Urbosa tells Riju she’s certain she’ll lead the Gerudo well. Riju treasured her time being mentored by Urbosa so much that she considers what Urbosa would do during the Upheaval in her diary in TotK.

I think the entire reason Tulin was added to the DLC was because the TotK team had already decided that Tulin was going to be the Sage of Wind, and that since the other sages were going to meet their Champions Tulin had to as well.

At some point in the years between Botw and TotK Teba, Tulin, Sidon, Yunobo, Riju and Patricia were summoned back in time by Terrako to aid the Champions during the Calamity, and even though those events took place in a parallel timeline and had no bearing on the world they returned to, the Sages’ personalities at the beginning of TotK are because of their experiences during the Calamity and the bonds they made with the Champions.

[shallowseeker]

Up and down the stairs; away and towards safety

"Run. Take your brother and go! Now, Dean!"

(The story is after us, Dean. It's after Sam.)

We hear the warning again later in the episode, with the overlaid message from John: "I can never go home" & "We're all in danger!"

And the thing is, they are in danger—all of them—from the story itself. The road, then, becomes armor, and motion becomes safety, insisting that they keep moving. Being in one place? That's what kills them. The idea of going off-road functions like a temptation, a lure. The safety of home is just an illusion.

///

Shelter is down

Even in the pilot, Dean is quite literally a marked impala, a prey animal, always on the run. I really love the contrast of Mary and John running "up" towards the fire and little Dean running away, visually "down," away from the fire.

In trying to escape the fire, Dean descends to safety. It is this need for safety (and the safety of his loved ones) that in a very real sense eventually drives him towards Hell.

///

Later in the episode, we see Dean descend the stairs again, when he's leading Sam away from Sam's apartment (an apartment that has been, unbeknownst to them, marked for death by Azazel).

"Going down" will be a mode of movement that follows Dean pretty much his whole life. Dean goes down into the valley, into the shelter, into Hell.

Dean remains on the move for much of his life, but when he does get a true home of his own, it's underground. When he's on the run from Billie/Death in 15x18, he plunges further still, deeper underground, until he loses the love of his life in his safest spot: the bunker's dungeon.

///

Until then, the car is the safest spot they've got.

But the narrative is at work, trying to take control of the car; trying to chisel and shape its targets the way Constance tries to chisel and shape her targets.

When the car charges them on the bridge, Dean is frantic to get out of the way, diving "down" off the bridge, into the safety of another road—into movement, the churning river.

Meanwhile, Sam keeps hanging on. Sam's Taurus-like personality and stubbornness means that he's always trying to cheat a rigged game. Sam tries to stay in the "high place" and not get burned.

Sam monkey-arms and contorts himself to stay on the bridge...

...and Dean comes crawling out of the river like a drowned rat.

///

We see ups and downs for Constance's family, too.

Sam forces her to go home, taking control of the car (narrative) and hurling her into her ruined, dilapidated house.

Inside, she's faced with her guilt: and her guilt is up.

The deceased family members are upstairs. They went up, but they never came down.

These children have obviously been paralleled to the pain that Sam and Dean go through at the hands of John's cruel overpreparedness, but these two are also an off-key echo of John and Mary's innocence.

The narrative killed its "first children." Mary's body was consumed alongside John's faith in the future. They are the ones who went "up" and were murdered (Mary) and damaged (John).

///

In many ways, Constance's story is a study of opposites to the Winchesters.

Her first children were drowned. The narrative burned its first children.

Dean's mother Mary ran towards the danger (and we will see she continues to haunt her house as a supreme protector of children). In contrast, Constance runs away from her house. She killed her children.

Constance's ghost is out to prove that deep down, everyone is flawed, operating in a Luciferian mode of engineered hopelessness. She haunts the road in a Trickster-tempter-style of hunting, not just preying on "unfaithful men," but trying to prove that in fact, all men are scum, i.e. "Even if you're still faithful, I'll make you unfaithful."

Many of SPN's villains are out to bring out the worst in people; the writer's task is to prove that anyone (everyone) will break under the right circumstances:

KEVIN TRAN (APOCALYPSE): Michael doesn't want to kill you. He wants to break you. He said for me to tell you that, 'Even if you win, you still lose.' I'm sorry. 13x20 Unfinished Business

We get this from Chuck too in 15x09 The Trap, as he works to drain Sam of all hope.

CHUCK: Um, short version – Sammy lost hope, and now I'm free. Hey, take it easy on the kid. It took a lot to beat it out of him. [Chuck crushes the sphere, destroying the spell] 15x09 The Trap

We also see this attitude reflected in many of the angel characters, reaching all the way into SPNwin The Winchesters, with the OG mindset of Gabriel/The Trickster wanting to prove how horrible humans are:

GABRIEL (unhinged): When the chips are down, humanity always chooses the selfish way out! Always! 1x08 Hang on to Your Life

//

As we learn more about Mary, we unravel that she did do some running of her own—running from hunting, from her parents, from her own childhood home. But here, at least, despite being dressed in white, Mary is in many ways Constance's opposite.

John are Dean are the ones doing the running, afraid to go home. In some ways, Constance is more like John than she is Mary, as John is victimized by Mary's lies and mistakes. John, like Constance, is driven into madness and despair. And of course, John breaks so hard that he hurts his own children.

After what happened, Constance went out on the road, looking for monsters. Making monsters, too.

//

The off-key parallels continue:

A married couple burns upstairs; a pair of siblings drowns upstairs.

The Winchester family faces tragedy in the comfort of their pajamas, while Constance's family are in their daily school uniforms—the period clothing giving off an eerie feeling that they're in "work clothes." (The suit and tie on the boy, especially!)

When Constance faces them, they embrace her, loving her as they bring her to justice.

Dean and Sam are "below." Safe. Looking on as the family is reunited and can finally rest together.

//

Sam goes home.

When Sam ascends up the stairs to his apartment, he leaves safety. There are horrors waiting for him "above," as Jess too is on the ceiling, a sacrifice to the narrative gods (the audience).

Like how Zachariah had to put extra pressure on Dean in 4x17 It's a Terrible Life to get Dean back on the road, Azazel has to burn down Sam's home to get him to play ball.

Sam had roots in this little apartment; he was even looking for a way to stay nearby with regards to his interview:

LUIS: So there you go. You are a first-round draft pick. You can go to any law school you want! SAM: Actually, I got an interview here. 

So, Azazel burns the garden.

///

Meanwhile, after he notices his watch stop, Dean rushes back and kicks open the door, much like a firefighter coming to the rescue. Dean is running into the fire the same way both of his parents did, acting in his parents' stead to save Sam:

Dean quickly spots Jess, and susses out that Sam's destiny is after him, and he works immediately to get him to safety—down the stairs.

Afterward, with the memory of Mary heavy on his mind, Dean turns, knowing.

He got Sam out, but like John, Sam isn't okay.

Sam is "down and out," the light of his happiness snuffed out. This was foreshadowed by "Sam's light going out" in the headlight scene:

(We will later see Dean lose his light too, in season 7, after Cas dies.)

Sam is safe from the fire, but he's, in a very real sense, no longer the same Sam. Despite that Dean is the one wearing John's jacket, it is Sam who is now set on the path to revenge, to "becoming" Azazel.

Sam's broken.

SAM: Yeah. I kinda mean, well, like ever since my head broke, and we lost Cas. You ever feel like he's going through the same motions but he's not the same Dean, ya know? 7x09 How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

Sam's season 7 self could be talking about his season 1 self here! Loss does things to people. (But the narrative did it to Sam so early!)

///

DEAN: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? SAM: No. Not normal. Safe. DEAN: And that's why you ran away. 1x01 Pilot

Despite his extreme efforts, John couldn't keep Sam safe from Azazel's designs.

And Dean can't either.

[gffa]

Dick sneaks out to chase down a case about missing girls that Batman and Robin have been working on, ending up solving the case and freeing the girls by himself, while Alfred frets with worry about how Dick's putting himself in danger and throwing away his youth on this crusade and how he puts so much on his young shoulders. And now I'm thinking about just how many times I've seen Alfred step in and steer Bruce towards a gentler demeanor when dealing with Dick's determination to go down this path's crusade. How often we talk about Bruce could not have stopped him from it, that Robin was a leash on the kid, rather than putting Dick in harm's way for his own need to fight criminals--but the same is true of Alfred. He watches that kid, he worries about him, he's afraid that Dick is throwing away the years of his youth on this fight and if he'll regret, he never relaxes because he knows Dick's two seconds away from sneaking out to go fight people grown adults who are legitimately trying to kill him. But Alfred also sees the same thing Bruce does--that they're not going to stop someone that determined. And Alfred sees even further than Bruce does sometimes, in that Dick's desperate to prove to Bruce that he can be trusted to do this job, to justify the trust Bruce has placed in him, and that Bruce needs to gentle himself with the kid, even when he's terrified that Dick could have gotten himself hurt. Yeah, Dick put himself in danger without Batman there to watch over him, but he did it for the same reason that Bruce started this path, too. That Bruce didn't put that spark of angry need for justice in that kid, Dick came by that all on his own, the night his parents were murdered, and neither Bruce nor Alfred were pulling him into something that he didn't want, they were instead giving him shape and form to channel that need. Alfred has never liked this choice of theirs, to dress up in costumes and go punch criminals in the face, but he doesn't stand by out of passivity, but instead because he recognizes that Dick was going to do something and this was the best he could do to help shape the kid into something that would survive it. Including stepping in to help him behind Bruce's back or straight up saying, "Yeah, I helped him and you are going to be gentle with him, because that kid is desperately trying to prove himself to you and you're the only stability he has and you of all people should know what he's feeling about needing to help people." Alfred can't force either of them into a life that he would prefer for them, he can only help provide guard rails on the roads they've chosen, but what a difference that has made for them both. I love Bruce and Dick's relationship, I love it because the question of, "Where do you take a character who fights crime because of the trauma of his lost parents?" has a fascinating answer in, "You have him--step by painful step--grow into being a parent himself, learning to open himself up to being gentle with people he loves and fears losing, to learn to trust those he loves even though they might die." and, when Dick's own losses are mirrored in Bruce's, driving the parallels home even further, it's so important for Bruce to learn to be a father to this kid, as his own father figure nudges him back onto the right path. Alfred is such an important part of that character arc for both of these characters, he is part of the thematic bridge of parents and children that runs through the Batman family of stories, and his role of guiding Bruce into being a better father--to heal from the loss of Thomas and Martha Wayne who should have been there to guide him--by telling him, in the most British gentleman way possible, to look the fuck around and see what's going through that kid.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Duff 16

Warnings: groping, insecurity, food and body issues, manipulation, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far. ♥♥♥♥

Image credit (I want to give dues where due but don’t want the creator to keep getting tagged in my posts as I have been approached by some before that they don’t want me in their notifs)

Andy wipes a fleck of lettuce from his tie as you walk along. He’s pretty calm despite being assaulted. You’re still rattled, a jittery pulse flowing through you. You hug yourself as you head up toward the office building.

“You okay?” He asks, yet again.

“Coming down,” you assure him with an exhale, “I’m so sorry about that–”

“I told you, you don’t need to apologise for that guy,” he insists, “he’s nuts.”

“Uh, yeah,” you sniff as you slow, glancing further up the street towards the bus stop.

“I’m just happy I was there,” Andy says, “seems like he was on a mission. I hate to think what would have happened if you were alone.”

“Mmhmm,” you hum and shudder at the thought.

You can’t help but feel guilty. If you’d just answered Curtis, you’re sure he wouldn’t have got so worked up. You could’ve deflected him, at least lied and bought some time. You wouldn’t blame Andy if he holds this against you. You’re his employee and he was half-throttled on your behalf.

“Hey, how about I give you a ride,” he offers, “I don’t like the idea of you going off alone right now. He could still be hanging around.”

“Oh, I don’t know, that’s too–”

“It’s the least I can do. Really, I don’t mind,” he stops just in front of the locked up office, “come on. The drive will give you some time to calm down.”

You mull the prospect. You can take the fifteen minute ride or wait as long just to get on the bus, then sit in a compartment of strangers as you look over your shoulder every two seconds. You owe him, big time.

“Alright, thanks, Andy,” you accept, “I’m sorry again–”

“Please,” he waves you off as he reaches into his jacket pocket and you hear the chirp of a nearby car, “stop. No more sorries.”

He points you toward his car and you follow him. You parallel him as he gets in on the driver’s side and you daintily swing into the passenger’s seat. The curve of your thigh hits the clutch as you do. You wiggle back in the seat and buckle up. You give your address to Andy as he flips open Google Maps.

Andy clicks his belt into place and starts the engine. You clutch your bag in your lap and stare through the windshield. Your mind is already ahead of you. You just want to get home and have a hot bath, try to forget the day. You drag your fingers up your arm, you’re not sure you can get rid of the lingering sensation of Curtis’ grip or the echo of anger in your ears.

“So, uh,” Andy pulls out, “that guy was pretty worked up. Boyfriend or–”

You shake your head and scoff, “please.”

“Ah, hmm,” he grips the top of the wheel, his other hand tapping along the lower curve, “that club, you must’ve met him there, right? That’s the wild weekend you had, huh?”

“I’d rather not talk about it. I can’t even think about…” you huff and bend your arm against the door, cradling your cheek, “oh, Jesus. I’m so embarrassed.”

“We all have our strikeouts,” he says lightly, “I tried out this dating app after my divorce, not exactly a positive experience, but I learned from it.”

“Oh yeah? Well, yeah, dating is… difficult,” you mutter.

“Tell me about it. Doesn’t get easier either. So much has changed since I got married, then divorced. I went on one date where a woman brought her friends. She just wanted me to buy dinner for them all,” he shook his head, “turns out she was a lot younger than she said on her profile… bit too young for me.”

“Sounds complicated,” you sit back and keep your hand on the door, nervously feeling along the buttons and divet, “I usually don’t– It was all my friends. They always want to go out but I’m just left on the sideline. He was there and I thought he was a nice guy… I was wrong.”

“Well, I can assure you, there are still nice guys out there,” Andy idles at a stop sign. You feel his eyes on you as he stay a bit too long before clearing his throat and stepping down on the pedal, “patience, that’s what my friends tell me, at least.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to just… wait. Hope he goes away, hope I find someone better. I don’t know, being alone isn’t bad, at least you make your own decisions,” you shrug.

“There is that. I don’t miss asking the wife for every little thing, that’s for sure,” he chuckles, “anyway, I just… if this guy keeps bugging you, I don’t mind putting him in his place again.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” you trace your thumb along the interior of the door, “really, it’s my problem.”

“It’s not a problem you should have to deal with, especially alone,” he glances at you then back to the road, “you’re a nice girl. I kinda get why the guy is so crazy but just the thought of him grabbing you like he did, how violent he was, it makes me so angry. You don’t deserve that,” he reaches over blindly and caresses your arm with his knuckles, “don’t think that you do.”

He retracts his hand as you shift. His touch leaves a tingle along your arm and knot in your stomach. That uncertainty bubbles in your chest. Are you reading into this? He’s your boss, he’s being nice. If anything he feels bad for you.

“Thanks,” you utter and look down as you twiddle your fingers.

You stew in the silence as his car engine whirs softly. You lift your chin again to watch out the window, recognising the neighbourhood as he pulls onto your street. You point ahead, “the red building there.”

He follows your direction and pulls in at the curb. You wrap your arms around your bag and blow out a breath of relief. You’re home.

“Thanks for the ride,” you say as you unbuckle the seatbelt, “really, I owe you. How can I–”

As you turn to him, you’re suddenly smothered. His lips are on yours as he brings his hand up behind your head. His beard tickles, both soft and coats, and you squirm, letting out a pathetic murmur. You push on his chest, entirely surprised by the kiss.

You shove him away and heave, “Andy, what are you–”

“I’m sorry, did I misread–”

“Wow,” you shake your head and pick at the lock, facing away from him as you try to hide your horror, “I… you’re my boss.”

You finally push the lock back and open the door. You get a foot out, shaky and unsteady, and struggle to get out.

“I’m sorry,” Andy repeats again.

“You know what, let’s forget it,” You hook your bag in your elbow, turning back halfway but refusing to look at him, “I can if you can.”

“Yeah, of course, I–”

“Good night,” you swing the door shut and nearly trip over the curb.

You face the building, eyes full of tears. What is wrong with men?

[fanfictionsweetheart]

Feeling This

Chapter One

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OC

Summary: Life is never fair and you love and lose people all the time. People move and you never expect see them again. Then you move and that gets even worse. Closing yourself off is never the right choice. But that is the choice that Salacia made when she moved to Hawkins, Indiana right before the start of her senior year. She planned to just keep her head down and graduate and that would be the end of it. Then she met Eddie Munson and he seemed to find that she could let someone in again.

Trigger/Content Warning(s): marijuana use, light angst, alternate universe (no upside down), mentions of porn, mentions of creepy teachers, mentions of decade accurate issues with fat people

Word Count: 2838

A/N: my first ever Stranger Things fic. Cross posting from ao3. I hope you all enjoy it. The italics at the beginning of each chapter are old conversations. They will be out of order and kinda a parallel to the chapters.

“I’ll miss you Angel, don’t forget me.”

“I’ll never forget you, Pretty Boy.”

—

Salacia sighed as she leaned against the passenger window of her older sister’s car. The moving company had dropped off their boxes and furniture the day before so the three wary Tianna girls were driving to their new house in the small Indiana town of Hawkins.

Her sister had gotten a better nursing job at the hospital in town. And while her eight year old niece had been upset about leaving her friends, Salacia was only bitter about starting a new school for her senior year.

She didn’t have many friends where they were living before anyway. Only one that meant anything to her. He had become her boyfriend five months before his family just up and moved suddenly.

So she had no real ties left there.

She only hoped she could form some kind of ties here.

But she wasn’t holding her breath.

—

Salacia flopped onto her still bare mattress. After three days she had finally finished unpacking her room. She hadn’t put everything away, but she didn’t have the energy to anymore. She needed to get out of the house.

She got up and grabbed her bag, making sure she had her wallet and new house key before walking out of her room, “Taye, I’m gonna go out for a walk, check out the town.”

“Grab some cash from my purse and grab us some burgers for dinner. Be home by seven.” Taylor called out from the room that was gonna belong to her niece where she was helping her set it up.

“Yeah.” Salacia agreed and grabbed a twenty from her sister’s purse and headed out the door.

She wanted to find a place where she could have peace and be alone. She always needed that kind of spot. She also wanted to see what kind of things there were to do around her. She made her way to a small woodland area, this looked like a great place to bring a book and read in the quiet.

She walked further looking for the perfect tree to lean on to read the novel in her purse. She’d read “The Mist” several times before so it was an easy one to relax with. Was it kinda stupid to be reading a horror novel in the middle of a small wooded area in a town She was new to...yeah...but she needed to breathe.

She smiled as she found the perfect spot. She leaned against the tree and slid down. She pulled her book out and set a timer on her watch so she wouldn’t be late back home with dinner. She kept it in her purse because she hated wearing it.

She was reading for about an hour when she heard someone walking up. She held her breath as she listened when she heard the footsteps again. She slipped her hand into her purse and gripped her knife. She looked up when someone walked around the tree and jumped at finding her there.

“Shit, where the fuck did you come from?” He exclaimed.

She giggled softly, relaxing seeing that he was about her age and didn’t give off a threatening air. Still she gripped her knife.

“My house.” She said with a slight smirk.

“No shit, what are you doing out in the woods?”

He asked.

“Reading.” She said, holding up her book with the hand not hidden in her purse, holding her knife.

“The Mist, you a horror fan?” He asked.

“Yeah,” She said and before she could ask who he was her watch started beeping, “Shit, I gotta go.”

“Why? I scare you off.” He asked.

“My sister asked me to pick up dinner, you know a good burger place in town?” She asked.

He nodded, giving her the name of his favorite burger joint, and held out his hand to help her up. She grinned and took it.

“Name’s Eddie Munson.” He said.

She smiled and really took him in for a moment. He was the same height as her, she would be taller in heels. His long dark brown hair was teased a bit into a true rocker style. He had a boyish smile and a handsome face. His brown eyes were full of mischief.

“Salacia Tianna, just moved to town.” She said.

“Where from?” He asked, leaning on the tree beside her.

“California.” She said, “But as you can probably tell by my accent I’m originally from Texas.” She giggled and his eyes lit up at the sound.

“Gotta admit that accent is really hot.” He joked, his eyes trailing her body.

He wasn’t like the other guys he overheard at school, he liked a woman with a bit more to her. Curvy and soft. He just liked more. And she had a lot more.

Eddie liked it.

“Not just the accent is hot, though.” He said, shocking himself at how smooth that line was.

Salacia rolled her eyes and giggled, “Oh, you a chubby chaser Munson?” She teased.

“No, just know a babe when I see one,” he said.

“You’re a real charmer, huh?” She asked, fidgeting with her necklace as she talked to him.

“Not usually, most people around school, this town, avoid me.” He admitted.

“Why?” She asked.

“Don’t you have to grab dinner for your sister?” He asked, teasing her.

“Yeah, though I was kinda enjoying talking to you.” She admitted.

“Kinda?” He asked.

“Not usually the girl the cute guys talk to.” She said.

“You think I’m cute?” He asked with a grin.

“Maybe,” she winked.

“You’re a flirt.” He chuckled.

“Sometimes.” She admitted.

She’d flirted like hell with her old friend before he became her boyfriend. She knew how to flirt because of their banter. But this was the first time that she had truly put it into practice.

He chuckled, “You know your way out of these woods?” He asked.

Salacia smirked and slipped her knife out of her bag and flicked it open making his eyes widen, “Marked the trees.” She said, “Not obvious to anyone but me.” She winked, “Also why I didn’t freak out by the strange man approaching me in the woods.”

“Ouch, that hurts princess.” He laughed, making a show of clasping his hands over his heart like she’d actually stabbed him, “So since you decided my smoking spot is your reading spot, I guess I might be seeing you around.”

She rolled her eyes, he was cuter than he had any right to be, didn’t even seem to know it either, “Play your cards right and you just might.” She said and they parted ways.

She walked away with a smile on her face while he leaned against the tree and pulled out a joint, a wide grin on his face. Maybe luck was finally on their sides.

—

True to what she had said Salacia was back at the tree where she’d met Eddie, with a book and a smile. He was shocked that she’d turned up a few days later. She had laughed at his shock and leaned against the tree.

“Is that a new book?” He asked, seeing that she wasn’t carrying “The Mist” anymore.

“Yeah, I’m a fast reader.” She said, blushing a bit.

“Whatcha reading today?” He asked and slid down beside her, leaning against the tree.

“It’s called ‘The Haunting of Hill House’, I’m three chapters in, it’s really good so far.” She said, while showing him the book.

Eddie nodded, “You ever read any fantasy?” He asked as he pulled out as baggie which contained a single joint and his lighter, not his full stash obviously, “Hope you don’t mind.” He held up the baggie.

He’d told her this is where he went to smoke, so she expected it and shrugged.

“Didn’t even bring enough to share,” she teased.

He laughed, “I don’t have cooties.” He joked, “Didn’t know if you were into it, shoulda asked.”

“I snuck out to the woods to read a Stephen King novella, what part of that says I don’t smoke.” She teased him.

Eddie laughed and conceded and lit the joint taking a good hit while she slipped her book back into her purse. He passed the joint to her and she grinned taking a hit herself, a smile on her face when she blew the smoke out.

“Pretty good shit.” She said, passing it back to him.

“Yeah, it’s my own stash, not what I sell.” He joked.

“Just over a week in town and I’m cozying up to the high school pot dealer, new record.” She joked.

He coughed while laughing and shook his head, “What else am I supposed to do, it’s my third year trying to fucking graduate.” He grumbled.

“Super senior? What are you, like, twenty, then?” She asked.

“Yeah, it’s one class that gets me and it’s such a small town he’s been my teacher every fucking year. Swear the bastard has it out for me.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

Salacia nodded, she’d had a teacher like that who gave her a hard time when she first moved from Texas to California with her older sister. Mainly because she had a southern accent and he kept saying she pronounced things wrong. Even though she just had an accent. She told Eddie about that asshole and how the only thing that made her pass the class was her reports were immaculate. And he seemed disappointed as hell about it, the way he would glare at her and give snide comments about her background when she was correct with an answer.

He hadn't been the only one to give her shit, the year before there was one who she swore up and down wanted her to earn her grades on her back. Eddie scoffed.

“You think it’s weird when it’s obvious teachers watch porn?” He asked.

“I worked in a video store that had a back room...I wasn’t allowed to check out those movies for customers cause I was seventeen...when I saw that teacher renting a couple school girl titles he stopped giving me shit.” She laughed.

“No shit?” Eddies coughed a laugh again.

“I don’t think he realized that he had walked up to my register until I said I needed to get my manager to check him out.” She snickered and took another hit.

“Lucky break.” Eddie said and she agreed.

“I’m not stupid, just not social.” She said.

Eddie nodded, he understood where she was coming from. “I mainly hang out with the other outcasts. Got a club at school called Hellfire.” He said.

“And what do you do in this Hellfire Club?” Salacia asked, looking over at him.

“Dungeons and Dragons, but seriously...it’s not a devil worshiping game...it’s just…” he began to ramble about the game, not wanting to scare her off because of what the news was reporting about his favorite game.

Salacia just leaned back against the tree while watching as he rambled. She let him talk about it. He was really cute when he got all passionate. A small smile graced her cherry flavored gloss coated lips. Fidgeting with her necklace again, rubbing the pendant along the chain, enjoying the sound and feeling.

He paused when she giggled his name softly.

“Eddie...D&D doesn’t scare me, you don’t hafta sell me on it.” She giggled and passed him the joint again.

“Really?” He asked as he took a hit, finally noticing the slight cherry taste on his lips afterwards, he looked at her and saw the sparkly lipgloss she was wearing, “And please tell me I don’t have glitter on my lips now.” He laughed.

“Really, maybe a single piece but nothing like me.” She winked, before showing him the pendant on her necklace today, making his eyes widen.

How could he not have noticed?

The pendant was a translucent pink D20 with the numbers painted in gold. She grinned at him as he looked back up at her face.

“It matches my favorite set.” She said, “And maybe I bought a second to make jewelry out of it.”

“You play?” He asked, he hadn’t met girls who were into the game, he reached out and gently took hold of the D20 to get a good look at it, it was obvious she’d painted the numbers in with gold herself for some style.

“Yeah, in the apartment building I lived in back in California there was a small group of us, mostly those who had younger siblings...and my niece, who were best friends so whenever they all hung out we did too.” She explained, “We were kinda friends...only in the building.”

He laughed, “So what’s your current character?” He asked, letting go of hee pendant and passing the joint back.

She took her hit and let a Cheshire grin spread across her face as she blew the smoke into the air, “Dungeon Master.” She replied.

Eddie was stunned, but at the same time he felt like he’d finally met a kindred spirit in a girl. None of the girls around here were into the game. She just smiled at him passing him the joint to let him take the last hit.

“I got relegated to DM because I was in a creative writing course, always writing my own stories. I like it though, it’s fun.” She said, “I can play a party member if I want, but...planning a campaign, choosing monsters, designing the world, coming up with interactions...it’s so fun.”

“Marry me.” Eddie laughed and she shoved his shoulder.

“You haven’t even taken me on a date and all of a sudden you wanna get hitched.” She joked.

He grinned at her mentioning the word date. “So you’d wanna go on a date with me if I asked?” He teased.

“Probably.” She teased right back, “I’d like to actually get to know you a bit more first.”

“Can’t you do that on a date?” He asked playfully, giving her some puppy dog eyes that nearly made her fold.

“Kinda. But if we went on a date and didn’t click...would make just trying to be friends awkward…” she said, “Friends first makes more sense.”

She shrugged and leaned against the tree, the bark slightly scratching her back through the tank top she wore.

“Somebody break your heart?” He asked.

“Kinda.” She admitted.

“Kinda?”

“We only got to date for like five months before his dad up and moved them away.” She explained, “But before that he was my best friend from the moment we met.” She explained, “He didn’t even know they were gonna be moving until like a month before.”

“Shit.” Eddie said, “When did this happen?”

“Last summer,” She shook her head, “Summer is all about change in my life it seems.”

“I’m fine with being friends.” Eddie said honestly, “You do need to settle in here in Hawkins still, right? Meet more people.”

His tone was light but she could sense his bitterness about the town. She smiled at him.

“I think I already met the best person to meet, but second place is still up for grabs.” She teased.

Eddie’s genuine grin was honestly breathtaking. She smiled, she honestly felt like she wouldn’t mind going out with him sometime. But she did want to be sure that was a real feeling and not just some residual desperation from a cute guy giving her attention for once.

She smiled at him, “You wanna know what I did with the rest of my dice set?” She asked, lifting the D20 pendant once more and letting it dangle between her fingers.

“Sure,” he said with a grin.

“I made the D4 into a ring, the D10 and percentile D10 are kinda mismatched earrings, I drilled the D12 and D6 through to run a chord through to make a bracelet, with some other beads added of course…and the D8…well, that’s almost only for when I’m playing.” She blushed.

“Come on, what did you do with the D8?” Eddie asked with a smirk at how cute her blush was, it made the light dusting of freckles on the apples of her cheeks more noticeable.

“I took some clay and molded a small, like, crown shaped charm, painted it gold. I made sure there was a hole to fit the D8 in in the middle of it…then glued it to a barrette.” She admitted blushing.

“That’s too fucking cute.” He teased, poking her red cheek.

She swatted his hand away, cheeks a much darker red now. He laughed and shook his head. Where had this girl been all his life.

“If I hadn’t met you once already I would swear I was smoking too much.” He joked.

She laughed, he already enjoyed the sound of it. It was loud and almost musical. He wanted to make her laugh as much as he could. This was the start of something good he was certain.

And looking into his sweet brown eyes, Salacia had to agree.