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crqstalite · 5 years ago

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lacuna.

(n.) a blank space, a missing part.

for MER 2020. day 7, celebration. set in 2185 [ME2].

She's still groggy as hell when the comm to effectively her new boss shuts off, readjusting her eyes to the dark comm room and rubbing the nonexistent sleep out of her eyes. Sore in a few places (all of them, there wasn't a single place that didn't strain when she moved -- bitterly she wonders who in hell woke her up apparently six months too early, and if they were still alive she was going to smack them to hell and back), and she can't help but gingerly touch the scars on her jaw. It was surreal to both be here, with Cerberus of all people, and to even be alive at all. To have to credit them with bringing her back to life, functional as far as she was concerned, was a little disquieting.

It's her, as much as she knows. Her thoughts still feel like her own. Her memories are all still there, fresh in her mind.

Two years, and twelve days. She can't believe it'd been that long, it felt like a very painful nap from when she'd suffocated in the wreckage of the Normandy, to when she woke up in the lab. Only a few moments before she was thrusted back into the waiting hands of the devil who couldn't let her die. Her first thought had been Joker as she raced around the station avoiding mechs left and right, she knew that the rest of the crew had gotten off the ship before she even reached the cockpit, but she'd been terrified she'd sacrificed her own life only to have one of her friends die on her. Then it'd been the rest of the crew, Liara, Garrus, Wrex, Tali.

Kaidan. To hear the Illusive Man confirm he was still alive gave her some peace of mind among all the unknowns. What he'd say to her new allegiances, she didn't know. But if he was still Alliance, and Anderson was still alive, she could find him. Explain what was going on, bring him back onto the crew. Then do the same with the rest of them, though finding them sounded significantly more difficult than finding a fellow officer.

Two years and twelve days she'd spent on that operating table on the Lazarus Project station, having Cerberus do God knew what to her to bring her back to life. There had to be some serious tech involved, because while Miranda had confirmed that no, she wasn't a cyborg and would still pass as organic, there was no way someone spent four billion credits to bring back a simple soldier who'd probably burned up past recognition on reentry.

742 days of being technically dead, dead as a doorknob really.

Miranda said they'd restored her as is. But something about this body just felt off. Maybe because she'd lost the muscle she once had, making the armor set much heavier than she remembered on her now lithe body. The textures felt weird pressing against her skin, the curls on her head completely gone in favor of her natural hair, short and fluffy and in a style she hadn't worn since basic training all those years ago. Other than the scars on her face, every other one was just...gone. Even the one on the back of her neck from the fight with Saren's corpse was missing, smooth, untouched skin there instead.

Skin grafts, if she had to make a guess. Though, it was so seamless when she'd been able to remove her armor before the mission to Freedom's Progress that she wasn't entirely sure what to believe. Was she still her? That was the real question. Looking into a mirror in the bathroom, the scars glowed red omniously. Organic was what she hoped she was, but that was beginning to look like too much to wish for.

Freedom's Progress was just a big disassociation fest, getting used to the off center weight of the N7 armor (it wasn't like any model she'd seen before, which was to be expected two years after the last time she'd been in armor), the use of apparently thermal clips (the hell were those?) and the fact she didn't have a supply of omni-gel at her disposal anymore (which she relied on when she didn't have Kaidan, Garrus or Tali in her immediate squad). It didn't feel like her body that was taking every shot with wavering accuracy. It didn't feel like her who'd reunited with Tali and helped her with Veetor.

She didn't like 2185 to begin with, and it only kept getting worse. Human colonies, abductions, Cerberus, Collectors. None of it seemed real. Sarcastically she wonders how the galaxy went to shit as soon as she died.

It still felt so weird saying that.

She'd died.

And now the Illusive Man was giving her a ship, which she's assuming is fully kitted, paid for by who knew what funds, and either a very cocky pilot or a very capable one.

The hopeful thought flits across her mind before she even hears his voice from behind her, "Hey, Commander. Just like old times, huh?"

She can't stop the smile that spreads across her expression, feeling relief wash over her body as she turns from the comm station.

Joker.

Of course, it'd be Joker. She doesn't know how it could've been anyone else, and damn well she wouldn't accept anyone else. Except she's not entirely sure how to react, instead walking over to him on unfamiliar legs, "I can't believe it's you, Joker." She says, just a little incredulous as he turns up the stairs, and she follows without another word, taking in the sight. How he's up and walking -- albeit more limping than anything else, but still worlds better than the first time she'd met him, is a question for later. One of the thousands that she figures he can answer better than the Illusive Man, Miranda or Jacob combined.

Shit, she's never been so happy to see her pilot before.

"Look who's talking, I saw you get spaced." He answers sarcastically, though she can hear a smile in his voice, maybe just as happy to see her as she is to see him. It's unsettling to see him in Cerberus colors, yet she's sure he has some funky reason for it. Yet his response is the most familiar thing she's had since she woke up.

Her throat tightens up just thinking about the moments before she'd lost consciousness, choking on the lack of air as the vacuum of the galaxy spun around her in a dizzily pretty array.

She wills the memory away.

"I got very lucky, with a lot of strings attached, unfortunately," She deadpans, feeling one of her knees crack again, the shift of armor scratching through her undersuit. Another Cerberus sigil on the wall sends shivers down her back, "How'd you get here?"

"It all fell apart without you, Commander. Everything you stirred up, the Council wanted gone," He sounds disappointed, and she grits her teeth. Of course they did, they didn't believe her about Saren until it was too late, she wouldn't put it past them to forgo believing her about the Reapers either. To keep their idea of peace instead of acting on the writing on the wall, deciding to paint over it entirely. It was going to get them killed and doom the galaxy, "Team was broken up, records were sealed, and I was grounded. The Alliance took away the only thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus."

It was an injustice enough to keep Joker anywhere but on the Normandy. Considering his words, they turn a corner. There's someone else standing at a large bay window as her next question dies in her throat, taking in their appearance. A woman with tanned brown skin, she thinks, staring out into what she thinks is a hangar, dark hair in a ponytail pulled through the back of her hat. She's dressed identically to Joker, and when she hears them talking, she turns her head towards them, arms crossed over her chest.

"Commander," She nods, smiling, "Good to see they finally got you out of that bed, hermana."

It takes her just a second to recognize the slight accent, the way she holds herself. Her green blue eyes boring into her soul from underneath the SR-2 hat. The tiny frame that could still throw a Mako over her head with her biotics if she wanted to. The grin that has a mischief undertone to it.

The other woman barrels into her while Kodelyn holds her arms out for her. Her sister's arms hold her tightly, and she embraces her just as tight back. Afraid to let go, almost. As terrifying as it was to think Cerberus had gotten their grubby hands on her younger sister, she's just glad to see her alive and well. Tears are pooling in her eyes as Citlali mumbles something into her shoulder, before pulling back with a grin, "It's...it's great to see you. Thought Miranda was crazy at first with this whole Lazarus Project thing. Didn't think a word of what she said was possible, still I went anyway because it was you. Damn glad I was wrong."

"I-yeah. Yeah, Lali, I've never been so glad to see you somewhere you don't belong." She says sarcastically, though unable to keep from a small chuckle.

"Hey, I belong just as much as Joker here does," She laughs herself, gently pulling her by the hand over to the hand over to the window, which she assumes is a dark hangar that houses the new ship they'd be using. She has a million questions about how she ended up here, where her parents were, where her brother was, yet she bites her bottom lip to keep from going on a tangent, "Whether I belong here or not is beyond the point, sis. We've got a mission to do, and I'm sure as hell not going to let you do it alone."

"Excuse you, she wasn't going to do it alone whether you were here or not," Joker reminds the sisters of his presence, her sister giving her a look that was half offended, half amused. If she had to take a guess, they'd been here together a while. More questions cropped up, now how Joker was brought on, and then how Miranda managed to convince her sister to come onto what she believes is her new crew. Hopefully because she's not in armor, she won't be on the squad.

"You trust the Illusive Man?" She asks skeptically, turning back to the pilot and raising an eyebrow. Kodelyn didn't trust him as far as she could probably throw him, which probably was rather far. Her sister shrugs.

"I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do," Joker deadpans, and Citlali snickers here, classic Joker, "But they aren't all bad. Saved your life. Let me fly--"

Citlali moves to flicker a light on nearby, "Let us fly."

At the most, that answers her earlier question. If anything, now her sister was living the dream she'd had for years. Just for a mix of all the wrong and right reasons.

"And, there's this." He says, gesturing out to the dark hangar, lights flashing on. They glint off a ship she can't make out just yet, but her eyes widen as she puts the pieces together. The familiar design and hull of the ship, the pattern that jumps out at her once enough lights are on, "They only told us last night."

SR-2 is painted near the cockpit, Cerberus' logo following after it. She's stunned, and for good reason. They built the new Normandy while she was sleeping, and she has more concerns the Alliance might have moles in their company if they got plans for the new version. But her heart still swells seeing it, her smile only growing. Having both one of her friends and her sister by her side, and the Illusive Man's ominous answer to her questions on her squadmates...well she has some hope she'll see them all again.

"It's good to be home, huh Commander?" Joker asks, turning his attention back to her.

"I guess we'll have to give her a name." Kodelyn concludes.

"She's got a name, just a different designation is all," Citlali answers, breaking her immersion in awe by bumping her shoulder, "C'mon. The crew's already on board, plus Miranda will have our heads if we don't leave on time."

This is all crazy, she thinks as they meet Miranda and Jacob at the door, Joker and Citlali going ahead without her. She's given her own Cerberus issue clothes, different than her pilots' and what she assumes is the Captain's version of it. Someone else takes her armor plates from her, and she finds it rather easy to slide the clothes on over her undersuit and change out of it. The new ship is bright, larger than before once she lays eyes on it. Huge even. The cockpit alone has it's upgrades, but the CIC is massive compared to the SR-1's.

It isn't exactly home, she finds. So many different faces wandering around the ship, so many new features that definitely weren't in the plans for the SR-1. Yeoman -- Kelly Chambers is friendly enough, though she's never had her own assistant to file things. Miranda is just as cold as she was when they first met and is apparently her XO now (not her first choice, but at the moment she doesn't have any other choices), Jacob doesn't say much she doesn't already know. Joker is just happy to be back in a Normandy, forget who built it, Citlali more than excited to finally put her schooling to use, hands flying over the controls at a speed that only her senior pilot can match. EDI is a new variable, one Joker doesn't like, one Citlali is wary of. Dr. Chakwas is a happy addition, the older woman was just as glad to see Kodelyn as she was to see her. Pressly was apparently dead, but they hadn't replaced him. Miranda got the XO position Pressly had, Citlali got the navigator duties.

Her cabin is on it's own floor, dubbed the loft by Chambers. There's a fish tank bubbling on one side of the wall, though devoid of any life so far. Fitted with a bed meant more for two, and enough work space for four.

It feels empty. Lonely even as she takes in all her new things scattered across the room.

They've got a mission to Omega, to find a Salarian doctor by the name of Solus. Dossiers for Archangel, who's also on Omega, a Krogan scientist on Korlus, and a criminal on Purgatory. None would be her first choice, but her first request was to get to the Citadel. She needed Alliance and Council allies, and she knew she could rely on Councilor Anderson. En route, they've got about a day until they dock.

While she has some worries about how it was acquired, she's more than happy when she finds nestled among her Cerberus issued belongings is a photo of Kaidan propped up on her desk. She places it back down, grinning like an idiot. He was still alive, not one of her dossiers but that was the only thing not making her want to defect entirely.

It'd be just like old times when she found everyone else. They'd take down the Collectors just as they did Saren, Cerberus or otherwise.

and with that i lead into the main part of eye of the storm, the mostly janky planned shenko fanfiction i was already thinking of two months ago. now given, this story takes place in ME2 (or at least ‘all the stars’ will, thats what this chapter leads into) so it won’t be as much shenko as it will be a retelling of ME2 with a few ocs. citlali is one of them, but johansson and petrakis will be part of it. some side...sort of shakarian? i only say that because brione (petrakis) is shepard in her own universe, but for now i’ll refer to that ship as petrakarian in the eye of the storm universe

now im rambling. im just happy i finished MER week is all. loosely followed the prompts lmao. >:3

#mass effect #mass effect oc #original character #mass effect fanfiction #merweek2020 #mass effect relationship week #eye of the storm #female shepard #original female character #citlali velasquez #joker #jeff moreau #kodee shepard #kodelyn velasquez #oc

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crqstalite · 5 years ago

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❝ nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over. ❞ - guy finley.

KODELYN ‘KODEE’ VELASQUEZ. ↳ war hero. soldier. spacer. hero of the citadel. hero of earth. commander shepard. FIAMETTA ‘FIA’ MYUNG. ↳ archaeologist. vanguard-focused biotic. pathfinder ryder.

❝ there will always be a place for you in my life, just not in my heart. ❞ - unknown.

quick explanation for this: i went to andromeda with pretty low expectations, 15 levels in and i probably should’ve lowered them a bit further to still be excited. not a fan of fetch quests unfortunately, but i’m stuck with it until the next origin sale so i can get dragon age.

you all know kodee already, my first shepard (briony + annika will be following soon), but this pathfinder ryder is fiametta ‘fia’ myung. some canon was switched around to make for her relationship with kodee work, including that the ryder twins would be a bit older (say around 24-ish during ME1, and kodee would be 27-28).

they knew each other during basic training, and while fia decided against becoming an adept for the alliance, they still dated in between deployments. spending time on elysium with her when the skyllian blitz occurred, they made the mutual agreement that being together probably wasn’t good for either of them. they parted on good terms, and remained very close friends.

while fia didn’t technically serve aboard the normandy, she was a contact of kodee’s and worked with liara researching protheans. fia did stay on the normandy for a period of time up until the crash over alchera. after that, (and because the wiki says that the arks left at the end of ME2), she stopped bothering with the alliance and devoted herself to her father’s work to distract her from the loss entirely. she and liara dropped contact after a while as well. she made little videos for her ex-girlfriend and best friend before the ark departed in 2185. liara patched the videos through for kodee during a moment of downtime in 2186.

if dee ever did have kids, one was definitely named fia.

#mass effect #mea #mass effect andromeda #mass effect trilogy #mass effect ot #kodelyn velasquez #fiametta myung #mass effect oc #oc #original character #kodee shepard #fia ryder #editset

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crqstalite · 5 years ago

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❝ war does not determine who is right - only who is left. ❞ - bertrand russell. kodelyn amara shepard-velasquez. war hero. soldier. spacer. cerberus alliance commander. commander of the normandy sr-2.

i’ll edit these photos, but i was nOT ready for the jump in graphics between ME2 + ME3. bioware did a damn fine job with them, now give it to us for star wars. and the writing. please. swtor never put me on a battle high like mass effect did, and never made me so frustrated with an alien war before.

#kodelyn velasquez #kodee shepard #mass effect #mass effect oc #oc #original character #editset

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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“Till death do us part. And forever until the end of eternity.”

For kodelyn and kaidan? 👀

had an idea, lost it, and acted upon this one before i could tell myself no. based on this one line i left in aftermath that i just?? never followed up on. i remember someone commenting on it, so i guess this is for them. enjoy.

1,748 words. post-war. no warnings. i think. unedited.

She’s up.

There’s no one there when he rolls over. It startles him for a moment, right in between where he’s awake and starting to fade back into unconsciousness again. She’s not there, and that worries him. Gone again. His reasoning starts to kick in through the fog, and he blinks a few times before pushing himself up to sit. She couldn’t have been gone too long because the mattress has yet to cool again, it was however odd she’d be up at such an hour. Not that it was particularly early, the first streaks of pink are beginning to paint the sky in the distance. But she tended to sleep in when she could, the early waking hours were new from when he’d known her on the Normandy.

The shower isn’t running, nor is the sink. Nothing’s missing from where she usually keeps her valuables, her ‘tool bracelet is still haphazardly around the base of the lamp on her side of the bed, half apart from where she’d been tinkering with it yesterday evening. Then she hadn’t left the apartment, at least. Nothing’s been moved in the kitchen either.

Kaidan finds her nursing a mug of probably coffee by the sliding glass doors in the living room instead, leaning against a corner of the wall with a blank stare out and up. She’d thrown a sweater on over her pants, folded in on herself with her hair loose around her shoulders. She looks smaller than he’s ever seen her willingly be. He can’t quite read her from her profile, but she notices him before he can say anything. Kodelyn’s a little startled when she realizes he’s there, before relaxing again with a smile, “You’re up early.”

“I could say the same to you.”

She considers it, shrugging, “Couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to bother.”

“Hey, you’ll never be bothering me.” He says softly, coming around to snake his arms around her waist, “Nightmares again?”

It takes her a beat too long to answer, “Not exactly. Not dreams, not nightmares. Fine for the most part.”

“The most part doesn’t answer why you left so early. Got worried.”

“No, I guess it doesn’t.” She’s not exactly dodging the question, but she’s falling back into the habit of doing so. She leans into the touch, resting her head against his shoulder, “Stressed, I guess.”

“Something going with the reconstruction efforts?”

“No. That’s taken care of for the most part. Something. It’s...hard to describe. All of it just feels...wrong.” Kodelyn’s searching for words, sipping at the mug again while she thinks, turning over her shoulder to look at him. Confusion’s running across her expression, “I don’t know.”

“We can talk about it if it’d make you feel better.” This is the first he’s hearing of it. Usually one or the other of them would occasionally be up from dreams, sometimes they’d talk, sometimes they wouldn’t, but she’s never quite described them like this.

He lets her go so she can pad back towards the kitchen, wincing as she just narrowly misses a wall. She lets go of the mug, placing it down on the counter, running a hand through her hair, “The longest I ever spent in a place? A year. Tops. Maybe a few months on top of that. But this? I’ve been here for nearly two years now.”

Kaidan can’t exactly figure what she’s talking about, “If you don’t like it in Vancouver, I can see what we can do.”

“No. It’s not here. I like it here. I think. That’s not what’s bothering me. It’s something about the fact that, I don’t know, there’s routine now. There’s not a new crisis to face every other day. I have a room bigger than what I know what to do with. I don’t wake up and fall asleep to the stars anymore. I’m not living out of a box knowing I could move away at any second. Hell, I have a mug with my name on it now, and I don’t worry about it getting packed up somewhere and never seeing it again.” She’s pacing around the island now, thoughts spilling out left and right before halting just at a corner too quickly and hitting her hip against it. Kodelyn pauses at it, as if she doesn’t even register the pain, before turning her gaze up to him, “I’m not used to this. I’m not used to having constants like this. I don’t have physical homes, I never have.”

He’s not sure how to answer that. Unlike her, he’d had a home. He grew up here, lived here. There were memories he made here that he never could’ve anywhere else. The walls that built the home out there were the same walls he’d seen everyday of his childhood and every time he came home. No matter how many pictures went up, how many dents or nicks in the paint came of the children and family that inhabited it, The orchard would always be home to him.

She never had an orchard, metaphorical or otherwise, is what he’s guessing.

“You miss moving ever other year?” He asks, “Or does it bother you not being on the move anymore?”

“Maybe?” She indirectly answers. Crestfallen isn’t exactly the word he’d use for her expression, but it’s somewhere close to it, “I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel real. None of it does. Like I’ll wake up any moment and I’ll be back on the Normandy, or Arcturus. But not here.”

“Real?” Kaidan asks. He can relate. After everything they fought for, coming back to Earth feels more like a fantasy than their new reality. He’s still struggling with it, but it’s been eating at her more than it has been him since the war ended, “It’s as real as it can get, Kodelyn. I assure you, we’re still here, and this isn’t a dream.”

“Doesn’t feel right for everything after the war to come anywhere close to good. Happy, even.” Kodelyn runs a finger over the rim of her mug, propping her head up on the counter to hold up her head, “A home’s for forever. Lives like this are supposed to be forever. I don’t know if I can comprehend the whole ‘forever’ idea after thinking I was dead twice in a row. Feels like there’s one more thing I didn’t remember, one more thing that’ll take all of this away from me.”

“Kodelyn,” He has to think on that, still blinking awake. Reaching his hand across the counter, she hesitates before taking it in her own, threading their fingers together and holding, “Nothing’s taking this away from you. You’re going to be okay, and this’ll be for as long as you want it to be. Sometimes that unknown can be fun.”

Kodelyn doesn’t quite believe him, but a tired smile appears while she rubs a thumb over his knuckles, “You and I may have different definitions of fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Usually my fun comes with something I can plan for, not whatever comes over the horizon.” She answers. It definitely fell in line with how he’d met her, and held true up until now. Her expression dims, focusing on their hands again, “I’ve never really had a home like this. Not somewhere I can say I ever stayed and thought of as more than just a launching pad towards the next adventure. My sort of home is a person. It’s always been my family.”

“Do you want to go and see them?” He’d never been to the fabled Shepard home, but if it’d make her feel better about civilian life, then they might as well visit.

“No. No that’s alright. Everyone’s busy, and the lake house is gone anyway. Damn Reapers took it.” Kodelyn shakes her head. Even though she says homes never mattered much to her, her eyes tell a different story. It meant more to her than she’s letting on, but he doesn’t press the subject. She squeezes his hand, “My home is you, now. I think that’s why I haven’t gone careening off-course completely yet. You’re home. And I think every other day I’m just scared of losing it all again. Losing...you, again.”

That hits him in a way he didn’t expect. This wasn’t something he’d ever guessed from her. She made it clear that she cared a great deal about him, their love for each other was mutual. But she never verbalized that fear. He’d seen it a few times before, when she’d been too late to come to his side, or more specifically, the few times she came to visit in the hospital. It went both ways, but he was more likely to tell her that, and had done so before. Vulnerability to her inner thoughts wasn’t often something he really heard, and her tone, however quiet, screams that this is something she’s been thinking about for a while. At first he wonders why she hadn’t told him, but he’s also sure she had her reasons. Whatever that reason was.

“Hey.” Kaidan says softly, waiting until she looks up at him again. As if to solidify his point, he squeezes her hand back, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“This?” He gestures to her left hand, the silver band still resting on her ring finger, “Till death do us part, remember?”

“Not sure I like the possibility of death to begin with, Kaidan. Not you.” Her voice is a little strained over that, “Not again.”

Not again.

“I’m not leaving you. Never. I’m not going anywhere.” He responds, “You won’t lose me. I promise”

At that, some of the tension loosens from her shoulders, “I don’t know what I’d do if I did. I don’t want to think about it, but sometimes...sometimes things get away from me.”

“I know.” He nods, “We’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

“Okay.” She parrots him, some of her earlier smile starting to reach her eyes, “I believe you. Think, maybe I just needed to hear it out loud. Gets pretty hard to ignore when its bouncing around and you can’t shut it off by yourself.”

“I get that.” The sun is starting to rise over the city, and Kodelyn circles the island. She leans her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him to pull him closer.

She sighs against his chest, “Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course.” He presses a kiss to her forehead, “I love you.”

“Love you more.” She responds back, sleepy, but wholeheartedly.

#kodelyn shepard #kodee/kaidan #oc #original character #canon to redamancy?#maybe?

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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let her rest.

#kodelyn shepard #oc #original character #my art #lol thats actually what the file is named #i was going to write a little fic to go along with it but that never happened so :/#also 'kodee -- notorious for snatching sweaters left and right'#she probably was waiting up for kaidan and knocked out before he got home

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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4/6 of those on the lineup have been paired with kaidan at some point in time and im not proud. surprised? no. absolutely not. i know my habits.

but four is a Number. more than one.

#kodee and kaidan are the otp though #i love all my little shepard children equally #but #her and him specifically #the list as follows is kodee bri danny and aj #partially swampwitch's fault for aj but im still working on that prompt #we could tick it up to 5/6 if we switched kaidan with VS #since nik is with ash in canon #6/7 if i mention id been considering pairing nia with both ash and kaidan #the ONLY reason i refuse to pair lali with kaidan is because like #in any canon #thats her sister's boyfriend/husband #oh i should tell that one off story for bri and kaidan huh

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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16 for kodelyn? 👀💕

me? not using angst as a crutch? i can’t believe it. short because im also insufferable enough to have wanted this done tonight and wrote pretty much as fast as i could.

post-war. “16: What your character does on a day of (rest? we assumed it was rest).”

no warnings. fluff. or at least an attempt at it. gosh im not good at this lol.

“It’s two.”

“It’s three.”

“Two cups. Written right there.”

“That’s a three. If it is a word at all.”

“The last time mom made this with me, I could swear on my life it was only two.”

“All Shepards write like this then?”

“Oh, Mason and my mom do, I don’t.” Kodelyn gently shoves Kaidan as he chuckles, squinting at the fading ink and scribbled word that’s been tripping their baking endeavor up for the last three and a half minutes. She really doesn’t know if that is an h or...another letter. The curse of scribbled cursive ran in her family, and the last time she has any vague memory of making this specifically was nearly a decade ago, “All I’m saying is that it looks like two. I’ve made this cake before.”

“You’re sure?” Kaidan asks. He doesn’t believe her (and probably shouldn’t), but considering the fact they’d already muddled through half of this recipe as it is, she’s amused he’s choosing this hill to die on. He’s more resilient than she was, she would’ve given up after they couldn’t decide just how much salt went into this thing.

“Oh, absolutely not. But do you want to go and find my great grandmother and ask her to clarify?” She asks, wiping her hands on her apron and turning to face him. She raises an eyebrow, “Y’know I feel like she wouldn’t be able to answer you. Just a guess though.”

“Wet cake. That’s the legacy you’re leaving for Margaret Shepard?” Kaidan asks, glancing at the cover of the barely still bound book, “Would hate to disappoint.”

Kodelyn is barely biting back a laugh. Her expression betrays her as a mirroring grin spreads across Kaidan’s face, “And dense cake would be your first dessert offering to the family. I think ‘Ma Maggie would be hurt, she always did hate dry cake. I can’t believe she now has a great grandson who would happily make it.”

“Don’t tell me she had any quotes about that too.”

“No, you’re confusing her with her daughter, she was a woman of few words. I’m sure my grandmother did though.” Kodelyn says, leaning against the counter. She flips back to the recipe page, “She did teach me how to level flour off though when I was six. And that I shouldn’t let anyone push me around my kitchen. Namely whoever I got married to.”

“Ah, a little pushing was necessary when you nearly burnt down the house.” He says, “Not sure Margaret would’ve wanted her great granddaughter to go up in smoke.”

“Me?” Kodelyn’s a little incredulous, scoffing as she presses a flour covered finger into his shirt, “If I remember that incident correctly, you were the one who distracted me and let the rice burn. So technically it was your fault.”

“Shifting the blame this time, huh?” He snakes an arm around her waist to pull her close, pressing a kiss on her forehead, “As if you haven’t done it enough times to me.”

“Not every time was on purpose.” Most of them weren’t. Occasionally she came to bother him when she got home. Occasionally.

“Not every time?” He asks, “So there were still a few times you were responsible.”

“A few.” She grins, “Couldn’t help myself.”

She glances down at her still powdered hands, snickering at the handprints on his shirt. They way he does it back to her, she doesn’t doubt she has a matching set on the back of her own from where he rests them around her waist. Heck, there’s flour everywhere just from the earlier tries on this cake. On her shirt, on his, on their feet, somehow in both of their hair -- oh they were quite a pair standing there in the middle of the kitchen. Standing back from each other, their laughter is infectious once they get a look at each other. She would not be surprised if it’d be quite a while before they got it all off.

“You know, Judith’s only a year old, she won’t even be able to tell the difference, much less remember it. I’ll consider it a win if she even eats it before demolishing it.” Kodelyn says, pulling out another spoon, “That little ball of energy won’t care how much flour we use.”

“Might as well make it three before it collapses in the middle then.”

“Yeah, fine, you win,” Kaidan smiles as she relents, “And if it ends up as dense as I think it will, we still have time to buy one.”

“What, you don’t trust me?”

“I’m just saying. It looks like two, but if you think it’s three...”

He slides his arms around her waist again, pulling him back into her as she laughs. It wouldn’t be too bad if they never finished this.

#kodelyn shepard #kodee/kaidan #oc #original character

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crqstalite · 5 years ago

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i like how some f!shepards are shorter than kaidan and thats absolutely adorable.

and then i remember kodee, who’s bordering on 5″11-6″0 and the thought she holds it over him when and if she wears heels amuses me.

edit: tags please work with me.

#unsure #unclear #but i think that'd make kodee the tallest #out of my shepards i mean #annika's probably 5'8.5 #bri is 5'10 #i think kaidan's 6 foot?#citlali's probably 5'8-5'9

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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( Kodelyn ‘Kodee’ Shepard )

- The oldest of three children and the only daughter of Hannah and Reuel Shepard, Kodelyn is the current commanding officer of the Normandy SR-2. Typically found in high spirits, Kodelyn is a positive woman with an optimistic view on the world. She’s nothing if not crafty, and is always someone you can come to if you need help. A naturally kind and affectionate person towards most. her softer side doesn’t need to be dug for to be found.

> Spacer + War Hero > Soldier (Shock Trooper) > 5′11.5 (181.61 cm) > LI: Kaidan Alenko > Paragon > Biromantic + Demisexual

Other characters: Kodelyn (here) / Citlali / Brione / Annika / Daniel / Nia / AJ

#trilogyappreciationweek #technically im a day early #but its a week so #kodelyn shepard #oc #original character

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crqstalite · 3 years ago

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For the past, present, and future thing: once again for the Shepard-Velasquez siblings (any of Kodee, Citlali, or Mason for any question) I request Past 3, Past 12, Present 5 & 6, and Future 4. Also I'd like to ask a twist on Future 4 with what's something they didn't expect would happen but actually did.

Finally getting cracking on this one after sitting on it for a month. Why? I don't know.

(An extra edit two weeks after that one, finally I'm finishing this)

3. Describe their family. Who raised them, and who had the most impact on them? Did they have any siblings? Who were they closest to? What were the family dynamics like?

The Shepard-Velasquez siblings were primarily raised by their parents, Hannah and Joaquin. Easily described as a strict but ultimately loving mother and an easy-going Alliance contractor. I'd argue that impact depends on the child, as Hannah had the largest impact on Kodelyn and Citlali, but Joaquin probably had the most impact on his son. Family dynamics were messy, between Hannah's unresolved generational trauma and the upheaval that Citlali's biotics caused, the easiest way to describe it would be "too little, too late". Everything went wrong because so many little mistakes built up and brought the whole house down. No one lives at home anymore, even though they talk about it all the time.

5. What kind of people do they usually interact with? Who are their friends, the people they look up to/trust, and who are their “associates”?

The Normandy crew and the siblings they interact with most:

Kodelyn: Kaidan, Miranda, Liara, Garrus, Grunt

Citlali: Joker, Tali, Jack, Kasumi, Mordin.

Mason: Thane, Samara, James, Jacob.

(Mason I think is interesting only because he tends to gravitate towards those that are both more introverted, but also ones with significant years on them compared to him. With the exemption of James, he does appreciate the wisdom they have. In the case of James, he can sort of relate to him, and the other takes Mason under his wing once they meet.)

6. What is their current relationship with their family?

Current relationships are likely something Revival will attempt to expound upon, but its focused heavily on healing. Not quite forgiveness (there are some things sorry just can't fix), instead repairing what they can and trying to be better in the future. There's some stubbornness on both Citlali and Hannah's parts (after all, both think they did the best with the situation they were dealt) and Mason hesitates a lot on trying to be vulnerable with his family again after they hurt him. Koda is being pulled in thirty different directions at once, and inadvertently uses it to avoid harder conversations and situations. Relying on each other is a little too much of a request and they stumble around a lot around certain subjects, but when asked, they do say they care about each other in their own ways. Whether that's still knowing the others favorite flavor of cake or just knowing instinctively how they take their coffee. Somehow. After a whole decade.

4. What’s something they were sure would happen in their future but didn’t?

Koda was pretty sure she'd end up right where her mother is, a Rear Admiral commanding a ship. Likely unmarried, considering how she tended not to keep many ties when she was younger, without children. While she remains with the Alliance, she doesn't end up an Admiral. She's content enough with promotion to Captain a few years later, and her relationship with Kaidan progresses to marriage eventually. Maggie joins them a handful of years later.

Citlali is pretty firm on how she'd believed she would've ended up on the Citadel working a dead end job or doing party tricks for as long as she could hold out. Didn't think she'd see the Reaper invasion, didn't think her sister would die, didn't think she'd end up living on a warship for nearly a year or becoming a secondary pilot to said warship. She did all of that and ended up marrying the other pilot. And had a kid. She's seen exciting times and would really prefer if they'd stop.

And Mason? Mason's just pleased he lives to see thirty after the Reapers touch down. He never really thought he'd have as solid of a relationship with his sisters as he eventually does, nor that he'd have anyone who really cared about him emotionally like Priana does. He never really thought he could be pleased with his life, but he is.

Thank you for asking!! <3

#mason shepard-velasquez #kodelyn shepard #citlali velasquez

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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a gift for my mutual + friend @that-wasnt-so-bad‘s birthday today! <3

kodee, her phoenix shepard and @normandybio‘s haydes chiroptera celebrating together!

#phoenix shepard #kodelyn shepard #haydes chiroptera #my art #go wish her happy birthday!! <3

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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Heads Up 7 Up

Rules: Post the last seven(ish) sentences you wrote and tag 7 people.

so! i got triple tagged today for this game today, by @jedirangerpenguin + @mallaidhsomo + @ljandersen ! an achievement, i’d suppose lol.

tagging @that-wasnt-so-bad , @rpgwrites, @lyrishadow , @outcastcommander, @citadelsushi, @naaklasolus , + @spaceprincealenko!

from an AJ piece - currently titled ‘in june’

Alexandra was a name that reminded her of everything that she wasn’t. Alexandra was someone who was somehow involved with every fight that ever occurred, Alexandra was the trouble child, Alexandra was the not-perfect child that should’ve been perfect.

June was an unknown. June was a variable.

“June.” She answers, after another moment. It sounds odd, coming out of her own mouth. A good sort of odd, better than what memories Alexandra dredges up.

“June Shepard? I like it, think it’s a good name for you,” Wally comments, crinkling up the wrapper and standing from his chair. He pats her shoulder, “Good to meet you, June.”

bit of a chapter from redamancy - though probably scrapping this arc.

“I don’t know.”

Kodee puts the glass down a little too roughly, flexing her fingers once she realizes she’s holding onto it far too tightly, “You’re telling me you just don’t know?”

Brione seems nonchalant, taking another sip from her glass while she stares past her. Almost as if she doesn’t quite see her, or doesn’t care enough to look at her in the eye, “I don’t. I can give you my recollection, but I assure you, that’s a question for him. Not me.”

and a bit from ‘lamb to the slaughter’

Citlali’s taken a bit aback by the realization, glancing over her shoulder to the small party still inside the apartment. Other students, other kids that’d been hurt by the experiments at Jump Zero, people that were still fighting the longer lasting effects of being out there.

Unstable. Useless. A ticking time bomb.

The monster comment was new.

“A monster? You see us and think we’re monsters?”

#AJ shepard #kodelyn shepard #brione petrakis #citlali velasquez #oc #original character #writing memes

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crqstalite · 5 years ago

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over our horizon.

said unsent message from kodelyn, late 2185 and because i’m still raw from horizon all over again (and maybe it’s the middle of the night -- decisions got made ok). do i have any grasp on dates concerning the trilogy? absolutely not, i fashion them to how i require them. if they’re off, they’re off.

(oh and both that this is definitely how i write emails + i cried. again. bleh.)

major character death referenced (shepard).

Subject: [untitled]

Last edited: 23:34, December 3rd, 2185

Dear Kaidan,

Hey Kaidan,

Kaidan,

If you’ve received this, then that means we’re going through with what we’ve deemed the suicide mission. Complete with the Omega-4 relay and whatever’s on the other end of it. Hopefully we kill of the collectors and send whatever plan that Harbinger has straight to hell alongside him. Either way, that means we might not be coming back, and leaving this unsaid would probably be my dying regret if I don’t come back.

After Horizon, I had a lot of time to think. About the state of the galaxy, about the Alliance, about Cerberus, about us. Still bugs me the way we left things on Horizon, if I had more time or

Maybe if I hadn’t gone in with the mindset that it’d hadn’t only been months since I’d seen you last, things would’ve gone differently. Or maybe not. I doubt in any situation I would’ve been able to pull you from the Alliance, but in the same vein, I doubt I would’ve walked away from Cerberus just like that. At that point, the Illusive Man still had me convinced we were doing the right thing. Should’ve believed you, should’ve believed everyone else who told me they shouldn’t be trusted. They -- you were right, by the way. You had the last laugh in that case.

<undo>

You know, I never quite came to terms with my...death of sorts. I doubt I ever will, really. Cerberus stole two years of my life from me, ripped me away from an easy death for their own gain. I’ll never get my life back, I know that. And yet, here I am. Facing it again. At least this time, I have the chance to say goodbye.

I’m sorry I left you behind. Without anything more than an empty grave and empty promises for a future together. Then having to find me all over again after you’d already moved on. Jeez, what an ass I am, huh?

If I’m entirely honest, I don’t know how I expected Horizon to go. I was so hopeful, bludgeoning my way through that entire situation without even a second thought. The Illusive Man said your name and I immediately wanted to go find you, damn I should’ve known he’d use you to get to me but you’re the only thing that mattered then

I don’t know what we had. I cared for you, hell I wore my heart on my sleeve and didn’t expect to get hurt. I’d never quite had the same feelings for anyone, not like that. Not in the way that made me feel like I could take on the galaxy with you by my side. I still remember that night before Ilos, whatever Cerberus did to me, they couldn’t make me forget that. They couldn’t make me forget you. You meant a lot to me, and Horizon really shattered that fantasy that I’d be able to go back to my old life. Maybe I’d gotten the Normandy back in a way, maybe I got Joker, Garrus and Tali back. It...isn’t the same.

You’re right, things have changed. I don’t expect you to still feel the same way you did two years ago.

Being resurrected gave me a new lease on life, but it didn’t replace what I had. Sometimes it’s easier not to think about it. Not to think about everything I lost over Alchera, and instead look towards a bleak future that might get me killed in the end.

Kaidan, I love you. A part of me thinks and prays that’ll never change. Yet, I don’t want to act on something that’ll only make this harder for the both of us

Maybe this is goodbye. If it is, if I never see you again, I want you to know I couldn’t have asked for a better friend -- a better...almost. An almost something, if we’d just had more time. Just a little more time to take that step, and make it real. But flimsy wishes won’t do that, I know. You’ve got a new life, and I don’t want this or me to make you hang onto what happened years ago. The Kaidan I knew would keep moving forward and get the job done. That’s all I can really ask.

If this isn’t goodbye then

You’re still everything to me. Nothing will change that, I promise. And if I come back, if we can ever repair this, then know I love you. I love you more than you know, and I’d fight like hell to get back to you.

Just...please be careful. Whatever you do, stay alive.

See you starside,

Kodee

The letters blink back at her, the send button nearly taunting her even with all of her corrections. A part of her wants to send it, really does. And yet she hesitates either way, what if this was unwarranted? After Horizon, she couldn’t really gauge whether or not he even wanted to hear from her again, and his message a week later only muddled that.

These last few hours before they hit the relay had made her think. Think about everything she was leaving behind again if she did die. She didn’t fear it as much as she had before Ilos. And yet, she had just as much if not more to lose this time.

The shift of her hand on her desk makes the photo flicker back on. Amber orbs bore into her soul as she stares at it, the picture’s graphics slightly degraded, but enough that it sends a rush of sadness through her. Yearning tugs at her heartstrings as her chest grows heavy, swallowing thickly. Kodee still wonders who found it for her, who even placed it here. Yet, she rubs a thumb over it, vision blurring before dropping her head into her hands.

She never hits send.

#kodelyn shepard #oc #original character #about horizon

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