#kodelyn alenko

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❝ i love you, shepard. ❞

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"But you and I...we, are important right now. This is what will never happen again, us." - Kaidan Alenko

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I'm a bit soft for these two right now T-T

also extras while i was fooling around with layers:

(was the blue and red too on the nose? i don't know)

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1, 5 & 7 for 'the future', for Citlali & Kodelyn, if you'd like! :-)

Thank you for asking and sorry for the wait!

1. Briefly describe their life in the future, regardless of how far into the future this is.

Kodelyn sees a life of being a pretty (in)famous person for most of the rest of her life. She doesn't quite take a step back from the Alliance until she's a handful of years older, but likely still commands the Normandy for a time. She does act as somewhat of a political figure, but turns the Councilor position that they offered down for Cpt. Petrakis to take, and eventually is given to Admiral Chen. She marries Kaidan a few years after the war ends and has a daughter some years later that keeps the pair of them on their toes.

Citlali has Esme a handful of months after the war ends, so she's doing her very best to give her a life far better than her's in the ruins after the war. She and Jeff marry a handful of years later, and pursues a masters in astrophysics. She goes on to work in the engineering sector, and heads part of the reconstruction effort on the Citadel, working with other biotics to safely speed up the process. They tend to travel a little more than her sister's side of the family.

5. Did they get married or have a family? Why? If otherwise, why not?

Kodelyn did, there was just a lot of time that passed before the idea lodged itself in her head. She and Kaidan were already a good pair, but they agreed to let the relationship progress naturally before doing anything serious (well, more serious than fighting a war together). They're in a committed relationship for a handful of years before they get properly married (Aftermath isn't canon anymore), and Maggie arrives a few years after that. Enough time for them to settle into life again, and long enough that Maggie would have a home

Citlali also does, just quite a bit earlier with Esme's birthday being Sept. 27th, 2187. Definitely not expected, but very loved by her parents. Likely she doesn't marry Jeff immediately afterwards but does within the next year or two. Esme gives her a little bit of the childhood wonder that she lost out on when she was a kid, so she's grateful for the time she has with her daughter.

7. Are their friends still a part of their life? Are there people they are no longer in touch with, or newly important people?

I like to think both sisters keep in contact with their squad members from the Normandy.

Though they aren't living near each other anymore, Kodelyn keeps in contact most with Liara, as well as Miranda and James. Liara assists Brione (and by default, Koda sees Garrus a lot) most often, but often times will share some of her intel with Kodelyn as well when it comes to more important decisions. James happens to still live on Earth when the Normandy is grounded, and she considers Miranda a good friend. Newly, she's often in contact and working alongside Councilor Chen, though doesn't know what to make of him yet.

Similarly, Citlali's most often in contact with Tali. Tali did her best to help her out with her degree and often they ended up working together on various projects on the Citadel. Miranda assists with her biotics from time to time, but they have a good rapport to just get out and see the sights from time to time. (Citlali's better at getting her to relax and have fun compared to her sister). She and Jack see each other a lot, and though Jack can't convince her to work with her, she's allowed Jack to claim the eventual biotic tutelage of Esme.

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got it bad. (shenko/me1)

a little shenko drabble i wrote at yes, 12am. not sorry, but also way shorter than usual and unedited. yolo.

ME1, pre-virmire.

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"You know he's got it bad, right?" Ashley asks her, grinning when Kodelyn looks up at her with a raised eyebrow, "Like, really bad."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kodelyn responds, placing her datapad down on the mess table while Ashley watches Kaidan disappear above deck, "What, you've got something for him?"

"Me? Oh, definitely not," Ashley deadpans, smirking, "You, on the other hand..."

"Frat regs, Ash. They are a thing, we N7s read those handbooks back to back. Pretty sure that extends to soldiers like you." Kodelyn lifts a cup of coffee to her mouth, taking a deep sip of it before moving her attention back to the report on Noveria. She was still shivering, the cold deep in her bones when they'd gotten back from Peak 15. The Council had been less than impressed with her actions regarding the Rachni, but even with her blank face, Ashley continues on undeterred.

"He's easy on the eyes though, that much you have to admit." Ashley proposes, as if it's news she hasn't heard before. Or thought of herself.

"You sound like my sister, Chief," Kodelyn chuckles, thinking of Citlali and her own tendencies to have talks like these when they were on shore leave. Unlike Ashley's own sister though, she wasn't particularly interested in Alenko. She wouldn't lie though, talking to Ashley about more mundane topics than the crazy Spectre Saren Arterius did soothe her nerves though, which tended to be shot more often than not, "Men the only thing on your mind these days?"

"No, but you're skirting the question," She nearly sounds offended, "Of course, if you're not interested in talking I won't press the issue."

"Now you're just trying to guilt me into giving you an answer. I don't gossip, Ash," She plays with the ring on her finger, glinting gold in the dim light. Still, the knowing look in her brown eyes makes Kodelyn roll her own before answering, "But sure. He's not bad to look at."

"Mhm," The sound of approval is obvious in her voice as Ashley takes a swig of coffee from her own mug. She lowers her voice, "Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

"Pretty sure whatever you see is either wide eyed terror or admiration. Happens with everyone when you end up hero of the Skyllian Blitz." Kodelyn answers, suspicious how she knows but deciding not to question it, "Still not gossiping, Ashley."

"Admiration in more than one way, maybe. And I never said it was, ma'am."

"Sounds like you're trying to get me into trouble."

"Then you admit it--"

"I don't admit anything," She finally puts the datapad down on the table, drinking the rest of her coffee and standing, tucking the report under her arm, "And your break is over, has been for the last five minutes. Go bother Tali, sure she'd love to talk about the ship with you."

Ashley's eyes narrow at the idea, but she stands anyway, "But if there was a chance?"

"In a perfect universe? Without frat regs, without all this oversight by the Alliance, without the galaxy being under attack by Geth?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Still not answering that, Ash." She smirks herself at the comically crestfallen face her chief makes, You're not getting an answer out of me anyway you word the question."

"You're a bit of a buzzkill, Commander," Ashley lingers by the table, "But uh, he does have it bad for you, you might want to tell him off if that's not what you're into. Sad puppy eyes and all."

That gives Kodelyn pause, long and noticeable enough that a smile creeps back onto the other woman's face, which she shuts down immediately, "Nothing to say, Ash. He'll figure that out soon enough."

"Whatever you say, ma'am." And with that, the other soldier is gone. Given a moment of peace, she picks up the empty cup and detours to her personal quarters to write her report instead of up to the Galaxy Map. They'd take off for Virmire in the morning.

Sitting down at her desk, she leans her head into her hands, pulling her ponytail out and wrapping the band around her wrist. Damn, here she was thinking they'd been rather subtle, or at least she had been, apparently. Dragging a hand down her burning face, she allows herself a smile before pulling up her computer's UI.

Later though, she lays awake for a bit before bolting up and wondering if Ashley had been asking for Kaidan's sake. Which concerns her, obviously, but she doesn't press the issue when she sees the Lieutenant and Chief together the next morning. That smirk is still present on her face, which Kodelyn ignores, but gives a genuine one to Kaidan when he turns to look at her.

Her heart flutters when she eventually heads up to the galaxy map. Maybe Ash is right on one front.

But she definitely had it bad for him.

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Title: Redamancy Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Female Original Character Character(s): Female Shepard, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kaidan Alenko, Liara T’Soni, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau Additional Tags: Mass Effect 3, Tags to be updated, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence,  Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Mostly minor canon divergence Language: English Part 4 of Eye of the Storm Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Brione Petrakis, Kodelyn Shepard, Citlali Velasquez Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Published: 2020-12-11. Updated: 2021-1-1. Current Word Count: 26,401. Chapters: 4/?

Summary:

(noun) The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

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“I just want to know,” She’s slow to lift her head to meet his gaze, beating back the burning eyes by blinking a few times, “Is the person that I followed to hell and back, the person that I —”

“That?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow when he pauses trying to get the sentence out, her armor clinking as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“The person that I loved, are you still in there…somewhere?”

If she could’ve short circuited in that moment, she would’ve. She’s nearly sure that she has, considering her train of thought grinds to halt. She bites her bottom lip as if to keep it from falling open after his admittance to caring about her at some point in time.

Loved.

Archive Of Our Own Link. Currently updates on Fridays.

Preview:

“I simply do not know how you do it, Shepard.” There’s a sadness hiding behind her eyes, maybe even guilt over what had recently transpired on the station, “You have always stayed so focused, even in the worst situations.”

Kodelyn’s mouth dries at the statement. She isn’t even entirely sure how to answer something like that, Liara has such a different view of her than she does herself. Focused was a word that she didn’t typically attribute to herself. Considering the state of the galaxy for the last few years, she can think of people who would’ve handled it far better than herself. But she considers. Why had these last few years been the way they were? How did she really stay so determined to finish the mission that she set out to do?

Her family, for one. She knew what her death had done to them only two years before then. It wasn’t worth putting them through that pain again if she didn’t give this fight her all. Discovering the grief that she hadn’t known had affected them so deeply, and wounded them so, that was what kept her going. Knowing they were waiting for her to come home. And she entirely intended to make it home.

The glint of blue and white armor out of the corner of her eye reminds her very quickly of the other reason, smothering her in something she can’t say. Something that she isn’t even sure exists anymore, not the way she remembers it. But it steels her resolve as she softens her voice to reassure her friend, “Because. When there’s so much at stake, I think about what I’d lose if I fail, and who I’m leaving behind.”

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Ashes.

for MER week 2020. day 6, argument. set in 2183.

It seems every time something is lit on fire, Shepard is in the middle of it. After Virmire, that doesn't change, especially after the loss of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.

(f!shenko if you squint -- warning for major character death + spoilers for virmire.)

read on AO3

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She should be glad that the Corporal waited until after they left the planet to start yelling.

No one spoke after the Normandy took off, after the cargo bay door closed their only view of the lush green planet, of the base they were leaving their squadmate -- their friend, behind on. The only acknowledgement was that Joker came over the comms, subdued to hell and back saying that once debrief was done, that the Council wanted a word with the Commander.

Kodelyn heard Corporal Johansson's armor hit the floor as soon as they were aboard in the cargo bay, as soon as she'd put the Lieutenant down from where he'd been over her shoulder, the helmet clunked down to the ground with enough force to leave a dent. Not a single squad member said a thing, but in everyone's eyes she could see the hurt, could see the wounded pride and the loss that went along with it. It was petty, but she couldn't stand looking at the corner that Ashley often frequented, the work bench. Corporal Johansson gently brushed it with a gloved hand, blonde hair draped down in front of her face as she took it in. Kodelyn couldn't see her expression. Couldn't hear her if she had said something.

She didn't want to.

Kodelyn should've said something then. Did something. Anything to soften the blow, like any good Commander should've.

But the broken look in Johansson's eyes when she made the order to return to the bomb site instead of continue onto Kirrahe's squad's position was enough that she wasn't willing to risk it in the slightest. Johansson was a vanguard, and while she hadn't ever seen the woman flare outside of a combat situation, Kodelyn had enough bruises and cuts from Virmire as it was. Adding to it by flying back against a bulkhead would surely send her to Chakwas for the rest of the flight back to the Citadel.

Other than a glance to the rest of the squad to take stock, she took the elevator up to where her locker was. No one followed her up. She wants to say that was a good thing, she could be alone with her thoughts before the debriefing of all debriefings. Keep herself in check before she said something she shouldn't.

But she doesn't want to be alone, not now with all of her thoughts suffocating her. Kodelyn felt numb, slipping off her own helmet and brushing out her hair with a hand. She trudges over to the white and red locker, pulling off pieces of armor and carefully stashing them away. Her hands are trembling enough that she's forced to slow down her normal routine. She can't find the clips and buckles that she knows by heart, vision blurring not with tears but lack of focus. Even removing her chest piece doesn't relieve her of the pressure that's haunting her chest.

"Go back and get Alenko--"

"--You know it's the right choice, LT!"

She has to take a moment, right there in her undersuit just to process. To accept that what was happening...had happened. That there was nothing she could do now. That if Johansson really was as angry as she assumed she was, then she'd have to face the music, face that look of loss that she'd only seen once before on her mother's face. And really, she deserved it. Why hadn't she sent the others over to get Ashley? Why hadn't she tried to send someone else down for Kaidan? In that moment, she finds that there were so many things that she could've done that would've guaranteed that both the Gunnery Chief and Lieutenant would've returned to the Normandy in one piece.

They were both willing to die for the cause. Willing to sacrifice so that the mission could be a success.

Kirrahe and his men had gone down with Ashley. So now, not only had she lost a skilled soldier, the last of the 212th, she'd also lost an entire squad of Salarian STG soldiers under her command.

While she yanked off her undersuit in her quarters, she looks in the mirror that hangs just off kilter on the wall, blinking once and then twice at the subdued mahogany irises with the darkness of insomnia underneath them. One hell of a Commander that she was. The wheels had come off that mission before she knew what was happening. She knew she should've sent Wrex with Tali ahead of them. Had been on the tip of her tongue when Tali had called in with an update of the situation from the CIC and that Private Petrakis had gone down to a Geth Prime. But no, she'd declined because she didn't want to unnecessarily sacrifice their lives in favor of their own. She'd sent both her and Corporal Johansson back to deal with her wounds.

Pulling on her fatigues, she tries to justify the decisions. Knowing everyone would want answers, knowing she's going to have to face the entire squad with those words, having to look at Lieutenant Alenko -- Kaidan, and find if she really hadn't broken every reg in the book to go and save him.

The bomb had been important. It needed to go off, or the whole mission was doomed and they'd sacrificed Salarian lives for nothing. That they'd just nearly lost their lives for absolutely nothing. She wouldn't have sent Wrex and Tali and her stead, even with Ashley covering for them they'd still be dug in anyway. There were no promises that Joker would've been there for both sets of squads. She could've costed them the Normandy if she'd taken too long. The bet was in her favor for saving Kaidan.

She should've saved Ashley. If for just a moment, she could forget about the budding relationship between her and the Lieutenant, the strategic decision would've been to go back for the Gunnery Chief. The bomb had been described to her as impossible to shut off once started, and the Salarian Councilor would surely have less curt words for her once she flicked on the Godforsaken FTL comms after this meeting. Ashley was younger, yes, but still a force to be reckoned with. Kaidan had the seniority, but what did that mean if the Alliance cut ties with the Salarians?

Sacrifice. They'd warned her that she'd need to be able to do it, need to be able to make the hard decisions in the face of adversity. She'd said she could, said she was willing to hunt Saren down no matter the cost. To bring him to justice, and end his reign of terror.

So why was she here, unable to breathe and the room spinning around her like a ferris wheel? Unable to get those confused and wounded hazel eyes of the Lieutenant out of her head, unable to stop hearing Ashley's desperate voice out of her ears?

Once this mission is over with, she'd have to tell Anderson. Have to tell her father figure that she'd broken a regulation, and it costed them a whole soldier. She'd probably be reassigned from the Normandy, or in the worst case, that the Lieutenant would be. Demoted for fraternization, a black mark on her otherwise clean record. She'd never stop agonizing over it, and facing her mother and stepfather with those actions behind her.

A headache is starting to form just behind her eyes.

"Commander, the squad's in the comm room," Joker's voice comes over the room's comms as she pushes a hair band onto her wrist. She looks like a dead woman with her hair down around her shoulders, frizzed at the ends. Scars criss-crossing over her face, bruises from where a krogan had gotten much too close and got a nice hit in with his shotgun before Liara sent him flying. She doesn't think she's ever had her hair down around the crew before, but with how she was picking up the pace to just fasten her fatigues back on doesn't leave her with a choice. If she stayed up here any longer they'd think she was stalling, "Just uh, letting you know ma'am, in case you needed time to yourself after...everything. Want me to recall them for later?"

"No. No, I can handle this now."

Can she?

Can she really go down there, look into the impossibly indigo eyes of Corporal Annika Johansson and tell her that she'd sacrificed her friend, maybe even her girlfriend not because she was selfish and had kept Kaidan around just to quell her need for acception, but instead because it was a tactical decision?

"Thanks anyway, Joker." She says, grateful that Joker hasn't started trying to dig into her for her decision. He's probably just as upset, Ashley had gotten close to just about everyone on the crew. He simply makes a noise of understanding, before the comm clicks off and leaves her in silence. Pressing the button to open her door, she pushes her gaze up from the floor. She couldn't say she had any pride over this decision, but it was better than coming off guilty and worn down. Or, she hopes it is.

Climbing the stairs and firmly keeping her eyes off the station just outside her room, her thoughts fade to static. What was the appropriate response here? Lay out the facts first, right? Debrief, explain herself if she had to. Quell a mutiny. Wasn't the first time, but she supposed it wouldn't be the last either. She was sure this would split the squad in half over a matter of opinions, or maybe they'd all be against her. Who really knew?

Kodelyn doesn't even realize she's there until she's tapping the door open. Until the silence is ground into her as she strides inside, before turning to her squadmates.

Ashley's chair is empty. Annika sits beside it on one side, Kaidan on the other closest to her. Liara's eyes are downcast, Garrus' visor is off for once, and Wrex has the same unreadable expression as always. Briony has chosen to stand, instead leaning against the railing with her eyes pinned just beyond Kodelyn. She has bandages wrapped around her head, another around her left bicep. That gives her solace, that she managed to pull Briony out of the fire before things got past the point of Chakwas being able to do anything about it.

She can see the light corona of blue flickering in and out around Corporal Johansson's lithe form. Like the beginning embers of flames, they lick her pale, scarred skin, her lavender eyes mixing with the blue of biotics. She's trying to keep her powers from flaring, but it isn't being held back as well as she thinks.

"I…I can’t believe that Ash didn’t make it. How could we just leave her down there?" The lieutenant questions, as Annika shifts in her seat, fully forward with her head on her hands and her elbows on her knees. Expecting an answer. The hurt inflected in Kaidan's question shakes her to her core, but after a moment she allows herself to meet his eyes. This was real. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a nightmare. Ash really was gone, and giving voice to those words that she'd thought as she raced back towards the bomb site only made it all the more shocking to her system.

"Williams knew the risks going in. She gave her life to save the rest of us." Kodelyn answers, firm but quiet enough that she can see Private Petrakis straining to hear her in the dead silent room. Should she speak any louder, she's not sure she'd still sound like herself. She swallows down a lump in her throat, crossing her arms over each other just to give herself a sense of stability.

This is why there were fraternization regs. So you weren't choosing between your lover and a good soldier. So there was no hesitation in the field if it did come down to a decision like this. Guilt over the unlucky party was natural, but there was no indescribable feeling like there was now, choking her, punching her in the gut as she tried to focus on the people around her.

Her hands are shaking.

"But why me? Why not her?" He asks, his voice cracking just so. Had they been alone, had they been anywhere else, she would've wanted to hug him, say anything, do anything to quell that pain in his voice. But they're not, and there are rules and regulations that she's already left behind her because of this.

Because I care about you, she desperately wants to admit, because I don't know what I'd do with myself if I knew I was the reason that you weren't going home to Vancouver.

"I’m sorry, Kaidan. I’d never leave you behind. I couldn’t. You know that."

She's already pushing boundaries here with her choice of words, and one of Liara's artificial eyebrows raises out of the corner of her eye. Maybe in surprise, maybe in confusion. Annika actually does flare for a moment, quick enough that if Kodelyn had blinked in that moment she would've missed the flames rising off her. Kaidan's mouth falls open for a moment, then snaps close. Organizing his thoughts, she's sure.

"I know. And I am grateful. But Ash died because of me. Because of us." He responds, knowing full well what he means. Or at least, what she hopes he means. She should be happy, being referred to as part of an us. Being part of anything at all, really. But instead the stone in her empty stomach weighs more than it did before she walked inside. It was because of this us that she'd chosen wrong. That the Williams family wouldn't be seeing their daughter ever again, that her three younger sisters would no longer have her to look up to.

Wasn't Sarah set to graduate this year?

"It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. The only one to blame here is Saren." She answers solemnly. It's quiet for a moment. For a moment she believes she's done it right, believes that she's not only comforted Kaidan to the best of her ability, but also quelled anyone's doubts, before a chair scrapes across the ground of the debriefing room.

She raises her head to the pale form of Annika Johansson.

The woman stands only a half an inch shorter than her, but with enough muscle to compensate considerably. Eye to eye with blazing blue eyes as she feels energy spark against her skin that she attempts not to flinch from, the shock of electricity that runs up her spine. She'd never seen a biotic that didn't intend to kill her this close before save for Kaidan, and if she wasn't trying to keep from bawling like a baby in front of her squad, she think it was beautiful. The supernova of blue and white that raises hairs on her arms, one that had probably nearly killed her a few times.

She doesn't know whether Johansson intends to kill her or not. Personally, she isn't sure if she wants to stick around and find out either.

"Shepard, I would follow you to hell and back but what the hell were you thinking back on Virmire?" Her voice is deep, rough, scratchy with what she assumes is unshed tears, "Where was the strategist I met on Feros? The one who would've gone back for Chief Williams -- for Ashley? When did she die?!"

"I made the choice that strategically sound at that moment, Corporal," She steadies her voice, or tries to, "I made the decision that would guarantee that the mission would succeed. If I could've saved the Chief, I would have. But sacrificing more lives for one would've put us at the tactical disadvantage."

"Bullshit!" Johansson's hands ball at her sides into fists, as if she's not entirely sure what to with them. Surely even in her heightened emotional state, she remembers that violence against her CO wasn't going to get her anywhere. That at least keeps her heart from jumping out of her chest as Johansson grows closer, "You think we're all blind don't you? As if you can keep playing this game of fantasy and break the regulations you deem as fair game!"

"Johansson." She states warningly, but the recoil in Johansson's expression never comes like it should've. Kodelyn wants to pull rank, wants to put her in her place, but if she doesn't deal with this now, doesn't hear out her own squad, then was she any better than anyone else they were fighting these days? She had to be the bigger person, and if that meant hearing her own thoughts come back at her, then so be it, "I made the decision. The bomb needed to go off, and I went back for the Lieutenant because we needed to secure it. Had we not, we would've sacrificed the STG's squad's lives for nothing."

"You--" Johansson's eyes narrow, pressing an electric finger to her chest roughly, "--just wanted to screw Alenko a few more times before all this was over! You pretended as if you could just play God for a couple more days, as if you'd pulled the wool over our eyes. News flash! Ashley was a person too, and she deserved to live just as much as your precious Lieutenant, if not more!"

Kodelyn lets that sink in. So that meant that they knew, or at least Johansson did. About what? She didn't have anything to hide, and neither did Kaidan. Hell, she couldn't even classify this as a real relationship, and going as far to accuse her of only keeping Kaidan around because she liked the way he looked? She bites her tongue to keep from snapping entirely. Before he was anything else, he was a capable L2 sentinel, and a friend. Anything more, and that was when you became delusional. She knew better than the assume where she stood with someone.

She pulls herself back together.

"My personal relationships, if they existed or otherwise, did not factor into my decision, Johansson. I've stated my case, and my friendship with the Lieutenant did not affect it." Her voice wavers at the admission, and selfishly wonders if that confession would affect this back and forth, never concrete relationship with Alenko. He'd always said to leave herself a way out, and she's really hoping that she hadn't just given him another one, "Ashley was a damn fine soldier and that decision wasn't made lightly."

Johansson is literally shaking, she can see her blonde hair flying as her grimace turns into an ill-timed smile, a chuckle escaping her, "Everything's just perfect for you, isn't it Commander? Damn peachy, huh? A family supporting every decision you've ever made, a Captain watching your back, damn Spectre status, commanding the first stealth-recon ship of it's kind and a biotic boyfriend to back you up? Really, Shepard. You didn't even think about the people you were tearing Chief Williams -- Ash away from, did you? Didn't even think about the people who cared about her, about the people who would grieve for her until the end of their days, about the people who lost the one thing still tying them to this damn galaxy, did you?"

Kodelyn is beginning to see the cracks in her resolve. It hits her like a brick, Johansson had no family left in the galaxy, and after Akuze, no prior squadmates either. She had lost everything before the SR-1, and now losing Ashley, however close they were, shattered her entirely. She still has her concerns that the vanguard might biotically punch her into next week, but she stays firm in front of her, "Ash was my friend too Johansson, just as much as anyone else in this room. Had I been able to spare the men to do it, you'd better believe she'd be in here with us. But because of her, we don't have cloned Krogan on our asses now, and Saren's been taken down a peg because of it."

"We lost both her and an STG squad because of it. You knew that bomb was going off either way, you just didn't want your Alenko in the center of it. The hell is your moral compass, Shepard? Do you have any idea how much she meant to her family, to the crew? To us? To me? Do you know who the hell you sacrificed just so you could have him of all people back in the comm room?"

Kodelyn doesn't dare meet Kaidan's eyes from where she can feel them burning into her side. Everyone is waiting on an answer, and she has to really think for a moment before she answers anyone. Johansson might've just exposed herself to being more than just friends with Ashley, but she's not willing to pull out her big book of regulations to put her down, nor does she wants to sow the seeds of dissent in the ranks with any pissed off response. Instead, she pulls her hand from where it had been crossed over her chest and gently places it on her shoulder. It burns like a bitch for a moment until she manages to find her words, "I get it. She meant a lot to you, Johansson. I don't think I ever saw the two of you without the other down in the cargo bay. I get it. And I'm sorry I couldn't bring her back for you. If you don't think this is going to haunt me until the day I stop breathing, then you're dead wrong. I don't ever make a habit of losing soldiers under my command and Saren is going to pay for her. You ask me whether I know how much she meant to her family...damn it, Johansson, I'm going to have to call them and tell them that I'm the reason she won't be back for shore leave this year. I'm going to have to tell Sarah, Lynn and Abby that I'm the reason their sister won't be back for Christmas. So yes, I have an inkling of what she was to the people around her."

Annika's eyes still smolder with blue, but her form falls from a defensive position to one of acception. Mission accomplished then, and without her knocking her shoulder back into place (Kodelyn makes a mental note to visit Chakwas once she dealt with the Council). Kodelyn softens her voice, not willing to raise her frustration any further, "I'm sorry I couldn't do more. And I'm sorry we're down a soldier and a friend. But channel that anger towards Saren instead of me, if you can. He's the real reason we're missing our Gunnery Chief Williams."

She deflates. Kodelyn stops feeling shocks of lightning up and down her fingertips once she does, and Johansson steps away from her, gaze averted. Addressing the rest of the room, "Dismissed. We'll be on the Citadel in a couple hours, you need me, you know where to find me."

Johansson is gone as soon as the order is given. Petrakis follows silently, though there's a limp in her step as she makes her way towards the doors. Liara moves to help her, with Garrus and Wrex on her heels. She leans back against the FTL comm system, careful not to bring up the interface and rubs at her temples. A headache is pulsing at the back of her eyes, and she figures this day isn't done with her yet. Her hair falls forward as she pulls it up into a ponytail, immediately hyperaware that Kaidan hasn't moved from his seat on her right. If she was going to take a guess, all the stress of Virmire not to mention they'd been out for most of the day was going to bring on a migraine. A part of her wants to talk about this -- about them, but she can't find the words now. Can't even think of bringing that idea back to the table considering their current situation.

She doesn't have to, as he stands first, "Ma'am--Shepard?"

"Go ahead, Lieutenant." She says, raising her eyes to his. All the fight has spilled out of her into the comm room, and she doesn't want to alienate him anymore than she already has. She'd been so blind, thinking no one else would be any the wiser. Hell, he practically haunted that terminal outside her room, and she allowed it. Anyone could've overheard their conversations in the mess, and now it was coming back to bite her in the ass. She knew all of this was too good to be true, and it'd gotten Ashley killed. Had probably earned her a one way ticket off the Normandy while she was at it. Nothing came without a price, and here was her invoice.

"I--thank you. For saving my life," He states. He seems conflicted for a moment, unsure of how to continue, his voice dropping to just above a whisper, "Shepard, you did all you could. Anything short of a miracle in the form of the Alliance's warships over the planet couldn't have saved her."

"I'd like to think that, Alenko. But then there's reality. Should've sent Tali, Wrex and Johansson ahead to get her." She answers. He's close enough that she can see the scars that he'd earned recently. One of which is on his jaw, and she winces, "There are so many things I could've done, so many things I should've done that I didn't in that split second. Johansson was right, the strategist in me died on Feros."

"Don't let the what-ifs drag you down, ma'am. Because of you, Saren's facility on Virmire is done for. There won't be any Krogan fighting for him when we finish him off," He responds, "Maybe this wasn't a picture perfect victory, but you did something they deemed impossible."

"Saren is getting the ass-beating of the millenia when I find him for Jenkins, Nihlus and Williams," She responds coldly, before turning from his form to flicker on the comm interface, "Do you need anything else, Alenko? I'm sure the Council wants to talk about this colossal failure of a mission before we land and they do it in person with an audience."

He's quiet for just a moment, "Thank you, for defending me against Johansson. I know you wouldn't let...this, get in the way of a mission, ma'am. If it means anything at all, I think you made the right decision," Again he pauses, double taking on his words, "I mean, sorry Shepard, that sounded selfish."

"No, no it didn't, Alenko. And thank you," She turns over her shoulder, offering a gentle smile. To think he thought that he was being selfish, just for being grateful that he lived to fight another day, "For not giving up on me."

"You're welcome, ma'am. You know where to find me if you want to talk, about anything." His voice softens further, and she's not sure what to say. Instead, she nods as the door closes behind him with a satisfying thunk.

She watches him leave. She straightens her fatigues and brushes her loose hair back as she cracks her jaws. Three of the biggest annoyances in her career thus far come onto the vid, and she puts on a neutral face to receive their thoughts on the mission, "Commander Shepard--"

-

It may be purely out of habit but I do the starting missions in this order: Therum > Feros > Noveria. Private Briony Petrakis was recruited on Noveria. Corporal Annika Johansson was recruited on Feros. Their profiles are both on my tumblr. She and Ashley were mid-relationship when Virmire hit, same as Kodelyn and Kaidan.

This story is also just something I had floating around my head for a bit. There is some shenko at the end if you squint, but I mostly wanted to introduce Annika. And Shepard's interaction with her after Virmire was a little heartwrenching to write. This is tied to the 'Eye of the Storm' verse and there will be more stories included.

[crqstalite]

Title: Redamancy Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Female Original Character Character(s): Female Shepard, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kaidan Alenko, Liara T’Soni, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau Additional Tags: Mass Effect 3, Tags to be updated, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence,  Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Mostly minor canon divergence, Brione Petrakis, Kodelyn Shepard, Citlali Velasquez Language: English Part 5 of Eye of the Storm Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Published: 2020-12-11. Updated: 2022-12-29. Current Word Count: 57,335. Chapters: 8/?

Summary:

(noun) The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

-

“I just want to know,” She’s slow to lift her head to meet his gaze, beating back the burning eyes by blinking a few times, “Is the person that I followed to hell and back, the person that I —”

“That?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow when he pauses trying to get the sentence out, her armor clinking as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“The person that I loved, are you still in there…somewhere?”

If she could’ve short circuited in that moment, she would’ve. She’s nearly sure that she has, considering her train of thought grinds to halt. She bites her bottom lip as if to keep it from falling open after his admittance to caring about her at some point in time.

Loved.

Archive Of Our Own Link.

[crqstalite]

I posted 3,216 times in 2021

869 posts created (27%)

2347 posts reblogged (73%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.7 posts.

I added 1,124 tags in 2021

#mass effect - 263 posts

#oc - 169 posts

#original character - 165 posts

#kodelyn shepard - 119 posts

#citlali velasquez - 82 posts

#brione petrakis - 69 posts

#aj shepard - 67 posts

#liveblogging tag - 66 posts

#annika johansson - 62 posts

#kaidan alenko - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#ive had like three games straight of players being just absolutely terrible socially because the team...wanted to play the game and win??

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

one lily shepard for @staff-lieutenant-alenko ‘s birthday!

45 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 19:00:23 GMT

#4

one giveaway prize for @pigeontheoneandonly of their nathaly shepard!

47 notes • Posted 2021-07-05 16:54:15 GMT

#3

happy holidays @faejilly !! your ngaio shepard for the other half of your exchange gift!! i had a blast working on both pieces!! <3

50 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 17:45:52 GMT

#2

@asianshep drew my kodelyn shepard for me and i'm in love with this piece!!!! the little details, the shading, her features, her scar!!! thank you so much bry i might actually cry!! definitely give her a follow, especially if you're a shrios fan!!

67 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 05:40:24 GMT

#1

“Ella Shepard loved the stars

Growing up, she had old (actual paper) books of the constellations on Earth and memorized them all, compared them to the ones on Mindoir

Some of the same stars showed up, in entirely different places, framing entirely different shapes, different brightnesses, different twinkles.

In the year after the Raid she broke two doors, (three fingers), one skylight; she had to see the stars where she was sleeping.

Her electives at the Academy were mostly astrogation, navigation; the only history class she aced was astronomy.

She memorized Relays, routes, stations.

She held the galaxy in her dreams.” - faejilly, knowledge.

-

happy holidays @faejilly!! i drew you your ella shepard for the holiday exchange, i hope it brightens your day!! <3

78 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 17:45:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[crqstalite]

( Kodelyn ‘Kodee’ Shepard )

- The oldest of three children and the only daughter of Hannah and Reuel Shepard, Kodelyn is the current commanding officer of the Normandy SR-2. Typically found in high spirits, Kodelyn is a positive woman with an optimistic view on the world. She’s nothing if not crafty, and is always someone you can come to if you need help. A naturally kind and affectionate person towards most. her softer side doesn’t need to be dug for to be found. 

> Spacer + War Hero > Soldier (Shock Trooper) > 5′11.5 (181.61 cm) > LI: Kaidan Alenko > Paragon > Biromantic + Demisexual

Other characters: Kodelyn (here) / Citlali / Brione / Annika / Daniel / Nia / AJ

[crqstalite]

Letters Home.

I made a mistake because this was originally meant to answer a prompt fill and then I forgot about it until now. So I tweaked it, but it still works I think.

I would rather not think about the fact the current majority of writing I've done for Lali and Joker is very angsty. That'll change, eventually, but it was begging to be written so here we are. It's a little shaky since I've written Joker himself maybe a grand total of three times but I'm happy enough with it.

Post-Thessia, minor (major?) character death mentioned. Lali/Joker.

"There's a new Blasto movie coming out, it doesn't look a lot better than the last one, but it'd be great to see with you when you're home again."

Her green eyes are still bright, her grin wide while she falls back on the collection of pillows decorating her bed. Her concerns then must've extended about as far as what was for dinner that evening, or tomorrow's assignment. Blasto wasn't one of her favorites, he knew that every time they'd watched one together, but she'd sat through every single one because it made him happy. Not that she didn't complain the entire time though.

It'd been a while since he'd been fifteen himself, but those concerns shouldn't have included Reapers in them.

"You must know about all the inaccuracies in the movies, huh? With the Council and stuff this has to be hilarious to you."

Joker isn't sure what feeling to name the one that's threatening to consume him while Hilary continues talking, rattling off that week's events. Teachers, classmates, her chores around the house.

The vidmail just seemed so normal. Everything had seemed perfectly fine when he'd checked in on them after they'd left Earth. Maybe that was an overstatement, nothing would've been fine but it was still manageable then. His father and his younger sister had intended to bunker down for as long as they had to, as long as they could while he'd promised them to try and get them off Tiptree. Nothing had seemed off. Nothing had seemed wrong. He thought they'd have time.

Six months later and he'd proved himself wrong. Time was in shorter and shorter supply. By the time he could turn his attention fully back to finding them nearly a week ago to do anything more about their situation, it'd been too late. He'd heard it over the extranet, part the long list of colony worlds flashing red every other hour. His blood had run cold while he'd hoped, prayed he wouldn't find his homeworld among the lost.

The galaxy felt like it stopped spinning when he did. In big, bright red letters, it'd said Tiptree, and he...it'd all felt like a bad dream then. That he'd look back and see it was some other colony out in the Traverse. Not his. It couldn't. It shouldn't have. It was so far outside of normal trade routes that it didn't make sense for the Reapers to seize it.

Yet they'd done so anyway. The last communications had gone out the day prior, and had stretched into silence since then. Where he'd be expecting a call today, instead his missed messages have remained dark. His 'tool won't connect to his father's, or Hilary's.

He almost misses when the door behind him opens, his hand missing the pause button on the video while he scrambles for it. He doesn't get a great glance over his shoulder, but it's enough for him to try and get his emotions back in check long enough to hold a conversation, "Shepard? Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You've got the wrong Shepard, actually. I think." If the voice isn't enough to convince him, then the absence of anger in it does when he turns his chair to look at her. Smaller, softer, more concerned when Citlali pauses in the doorway compared to her elder sister. His girlfriend a sight for sore eyes, at least compared to her counterpart, "Sorry for scaring you, if I did.

"You didn't. Just, thought she was making the rounds again. And holding a grudge against your commander doesn't really bode well for you, as I've found." He can't find the energy to add a genuine laugh with the quip, and while Citlali smiles, it's one of the ones that's strained, "What? I feel like Alenko's walking proof of that."

"I guess, depending on how you look at it." She furrows her brow, maybe in thought, maybe in disbelief. He still can't read her very well, though it's not as if she makes it easy. Shaking off the expression, "Do you mind if I come in? You seemed...busy."

While Hilary's vid has gone quiet, he doesn't meet her eyes. The distraction might be better than nothing, even though he'd rather spend his time alone, most likely watching the last handful of mails from the month prior, "If you want to, sure. Did you need anything?"

"No. It's just...quiet around here. Thessia's on everyone's mind and it honestly feels too constricting." The door closes behind her, "If you're worried, Kodelyn's with Liara right now. I don't think she's going to come back up here for a while."

"Oh good. That'll probably give her time to cool off." Refocus her frustration with Thessia back towards comforting, always seemed like it fixed something in her. He might've been out of line, but he hadn't been expecting for her to explode at him like that. It seemed too out of character, and he hadn't been able to accurately predict it. The longer she spent doing anything else was probably extending his lifespan. Shepard wasn't predictable, but she rarely played the stereotype of the short-fuse Commander.

"Cool off?" Citlali quirks an eyebrow, "Was she mad at...you?"

"Surprising, I know."

"Weird. What'd you do?"

"Nothing." He says habitually, then sighs, "I don't know. Rough day for obvious reasons, she wasn't doing so well and I probably didn't make it any better."

"Oh." Citlali cringes, "She wasn't too upset with you, was she?"

"Probably not with me specifically. I just ended up as collateral damage."

"Collateral -- Never mind. She'll probably apologize when she's feeling more like herself. If she ever does." Her tone wavers at that, uncertainty on the other end of it, "Are you okay, though?"

His silence answers it for her. What does he say to that? Fine, only that I found out my home might be ashes and the only family I have left might be gone?

Well, he probably could.

"Sure. Fine."

Her smile's shaky, "Are you really fine, or are you just trying to get rid of me?"

"Never, I love spending time with you. You know that."

"Uh-huh. I'll suspend my disbelief, but only because you're sweet," She frowns at that, padding over to sit in the empty co-pilot's chair, turning it to face him, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. You don't have to lie to me though."

"I'm not. Just dealing with...everything. All of us have our off days." The screen blinks when he turns back to it, Hilary's expression still frozen in one of amusement. His chest grows heavy again, this one was dated a day before the Reapers came through. This vidmail, the one like so many others that'd come before it, was one of the last ones he'd ever have of her.

And when he received it, he hadn't thought anything of it. He wouldn't go as far as to say he'd taken the ritual for granted, but he'd thought he'd receive another one. And another after that. He was careful to watch every one, and send back another as soon as he was able. His had gone unread.

"Fair enough." Citlali leans back, blissfully oblivious, "Long day. Maybe way too many things happened all at once."

"You could probably say that again."

"I'll refrain from repeating myself." She chuckles, "Can't wait to get back to the Citadel. The rest this crew needs is probably ticking up towards absurd."

"That bad in your professional opinion?" He asks, "I'd thought we were doing just peachy. Y'know, with the Council trying to absolve themselves of guilt and the galaxy crumbling around us."

"Thank God for night clubs." She responds, leaning back, "It just feels tenser than ever. Can't shake the feeling we're getting towards the end of whatever this is, and it's making everyone jumpy."

"Probably, yeah. Hopefully it'll be longer than a day or two when Shepard's done with Horizon. It'd be nice not running from Reaper forces day in and day out."

"Too exciting for you?"

"Everyone has their limits. just seems like there are more of them than ever lately, and they all want a piece of us." That much is true. The other half is that he wants a chance to search. Search the Citadel, search the surrounding systems. Maybe Hilary would be with the refugees, and he just hadn't found her yet. Maybe she'd lost her 'tool. They'd never been great at remembering each other's codes.

One hell of a time to forget, if she was out there, all alone and surrounded by the unknown.

Citlali turns her gaze towards the front window, then to one of the screens in front of him from what she can see, "Thessia-related matters aside, if you're willing to share, who's that?"

He hesitates, trying to find an answer while his throat tightens around his words. All he can do is send a picture of Hilary over to her screen. She halfway smiles when she receives it, one of her out in the yard during his last leave. Yellow sundress, celebrating the first day of summer, "Friend? Family? She looks just like you. Same grin and everything."

"Family. Younger sister, actually."

"Aw. Looks just like you." Citlali smiles, "What's she like?"

"Like any little sister, I guess." What was there to say? Why is he looking for adjectives to encapsulate the sister he loved, and why is it so difficult, "Smart, kind, practical joker sometimes. Occasionally gets on your nerves, but you love her too much to stay mad."

"As all siblings do. Feel like she'd be fun to have around. Guess you missed out on the curly hair gene, huh?"

"Had it when I was younger."

"Is she looking to follow in your footsteps? A pilot just like her brother?"

The lump in his throat almost doesn't let him answer her, and he plays with the bill of his hat, "Maybe. I don't think she ever really said anything about it."

"Big shoes to fill, I get it." The smile fades slightly when he doesn't follow up on it, "Where is she now?"

His voice is raspy when he tries to talk again, "I don't...really know. I don't know if she even still is."

Her face falls, furrowing her brows once she realizes, "I- Jeff..."

"Evac orders were sent out to Tiptree a couple of days ago. No news since, only that a handful made it...somewhere. Liara didn't say where." The orange lights in front of him start to swim in the water collecting in the corners of his eyes, "I don't even know if she made it offworld."

There's a flood threatening to burst behind his eyes, delicately held back for the last few days just by sheer will. Just the thought of the planet being turned into Earth, Palaven, Tuchanka...hell even what he saw of Thessia turns his stomach.

They didn't live that close to any major city, but they still would've been at risk if they sent any husks out that way. Any of the other grotesque monsters they'd seen lately.

Had she been looking for him? When it'd all happened, had he missed her call while they were in FTL? Just by a split second.

The thought of one them getting their hands on her, one of the sweetest girls in the galaxy who'd done nothing but act as a ray of sunshine in his life, it kills him to think about.

His hands are wet, he doesn't even realize until he hears Citlali's boots against the ground behind him. Her eyes are searching his face when she kneels down next to his chair, holding out her arms halfway in a silent question.

He accepts a moment later, wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back, a quiet whisper on her lips when she returns the gesture, "I'm so sorry."

The dam breaks.

Big jade eyes that match his, a grin she lamented about every other day. The figurine he'd brought back for her, the Normandy, on her nightstand just in view.

What he'd give to see her again. Hear her voice again.

The galaxy crumbles away, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you, Jeff. I miss you."

[crqstalite]

Title: Redamancy Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Female Original Character Character(s): Female Shepard, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kaidan Alenko, Liara T’Soni, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau Additional Tags: Mass Effect 3, Tags to be updated, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence,  Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Mostly minor canon divergence Language: English Part 5 of Eye of the Storm Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Brione Petrakis, Kodelyn Shepard, Citlali Velasquez Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Published: 2020-12-11. Updated: 2021-9-16. Current Word Count: 49,704. Chapters: 6/?

Summary:

(noun) The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

-

“I just want to know,” She’s slow to lift her head to meet his gaze, beating back the burning eyes by blinking a few times, “Is the person that I followed to hell and back, the person that I —”

“That?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow when he pauses trying to get the sentence out, her armor clinking as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“The person that I loved, are you still in there…somewhere?”

If she could’ve short circuited in that moment, she would’ve. She’s nearly sure that she has, considering her train of thought grinds to halt. She bites her bottom lip as if to keep it from falling open after his admittance to caring about her at some point in time.

Loved.

Archive Of Our Own Link. Currently updates irregularly.

Preview:

“They have to do something though, right?” Kodelyn demands, “The catalyst might be the only chance we have.”

“If you’re asking whether the Council would let the galaxy burn instead of indulge…this,” Brione gestures at the plans absently, “I would not put credits on it. Give them time and we may have some plan in place before the end of the week.”

Kodelyn grimaces, “Does Earth have that much time?”

“It may. It may not. If extinction is what we’re looking at, we may as well face it head on.” Brione answers. She’s framed by the darker lighting of the night cycle when she stands in front of the floor to ceiling window panes, the lights from across the Presidium making her hair glow like a fiery halo around her head. She looks like something akin to an angel with the multi-colored lights playing with her lithe form, but her words afterwards shatters the illusion as quickly as it comes to be, “If I have to offer you anything, Shepard, let it be that your focus needs to shift off Earth to the rest of the galaxy. Earth means nothing if you can’t even save the universe around it.”

[crqstalite]

WIP Meme

tagged by @pigeontheoneandonly ! thank you :D

Rules:  Write the latest line(s) from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the (last) line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.

Someone’s a little ticked off with Citlali’s theatrics, and it’s not Kodelyn this time around. A certain pilot is starting to wonder whether the self-sacrificing gene runs in the family.

“I care about you, and yeah, I care whether you make it back in one piece.

-

I’m...genuinely not sure if I even know sixteen writeblrs. Hm. (Edit: Apparently I know more than sixteen. Sorry for any double tags!)

@that-wasnt-so-bad @greencrusader13 @sheyshen @naaklasolus @staff-lieutenant-alenko @aricazorel @ma-sulevin @enasallavellan @ghostxofxartemis @mai-nonsense @midnightswaltz @actualanxiousswampwitch @a-mongoose @jedirangerpenguin @alphahelices @lyrishadow

[crqstalite]

Title: Redamancy Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Female Original Character Character(s): Female Shepard, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kaidan Alenko, Liara T’Soni, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau Additional Tags: Mass Effect 3, Tags to be updated, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence,  Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Mostly minor canon divergence Language: English Part 4 of Eye of the Storm Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Brione Petrakis, Kodelyn Shepard, Citlali Velasquez Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Published: 2020-12-11. Updated: 2021-8-1. Current Word Count: 31,889. Chapters: 5/?

Summary:

(noun) The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

-

“I just want to know,” She’s slow to lift her head to meet his gaze, beating back the burning eyes by blinking a few times, “Is the person that I followed to hell and back, the person that I —”

“That?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow when he pauses trying to get the sentence out, her armor clinking as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“The person that I loved, are you still in there…somewhere?”

If she could’ve short circuited in that moment, she would’ve. She’s nearly sure that she has, considering her train of thought grinds to halt. She bites her bottom lip as if to keep it from falling open after his admittance to caring about her at some point in time.

Loved.

Archive Of Our Own Link. Currently updates on Fridays.

Preview:

“I’m still in here,” She whispers, so low that she can barely hear herself. Her heart is about to pound out of her chest as she gently brushes his jaw with her hand, careful, calculated. She doesn’t know why she says it, maybe to just make it more concrete in her mind. Maybe to prove to whoever was listening that she was right. That she’s a person. That with a few missing scars, that she’s still the same woman she was three years ago, “I’ve never left.“

[crqstalite]

( Alexandra June ‘AJ’ Shepard )

- The only daughter of Hannah and Andrew Shepard, AJ Shepard is one of the few recipients of the unofficial 2.5 L2 implant and the current commanding officer of the Normandy SR-2. While she’s described as a handful and easy to anger by most, no one can deny that she gets the job done. Unconventionally, maybe, but done. AJ’s a rebel, and she treasures every moment of freedom she gets, and that mostly becomes everyone elses’ problem. She’s a passionate soul, and her sarcastic nature only hides a friendlier smile and genuine care for those around her.

> Spacer + Sole Survivor > Sentinel (Bastion) > 5′4″ (162.56 cm) > LI: Miranda Lawson (AU: Kaidan Alenko) > Renegade > Bisexual

Other characters: Kodelyn / Citlali / Brione / Annika / Daniel / Nia / AJ (here)

[crqstalite]

( Daniel ‘Danny’ Shepard )

- The youngest of Hannah Shepard’s two children, Daniel is the current commanding officer of the Normandy SR-2. Considered a bright spot, Daniel always has the last word in any situation and routinely chases whatever will keep him on his toes. He’s well-versed in the tech scene, and constantly has something up his sleeve that’s illegal, unexpected or some combination of both. While he does tend to push social boundaries, he’s nothing if not a good friend who’s looking out for the people closest to him. Your business will somehow become his, but it will get solved one way or another.

> Colonist + Ruthless > Engineer (Medic) > 6′1″ (185.42 cm) > LI: Kaidan Alenko > Paragade > Bisexual

Other characters: Kodelyn / Citlali / Brione / Annika / Daniel (here) / Nia / AJ

[crqstalite]

Title: Redamancy Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Garrus Vakarian/Female Original Character Character(s): Female Shepard, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kaidan Alenko, Liara T’Soni, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega, Jeff “Joker” Moreau Additional Tags: Mass Effect 3, Tags to be updated, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence,  Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Found Family, Mostly minor canon divergence Language: English Part 4 of Eye of the Storm Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Brione Petrakis, Kodelyn Shepard, Citlali Velasquez Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Published: 2020-12-11. Updated: 2020-12-11.  Current Word Count: 4,509. Chapters: 1/?

Summary: 

(noun) The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

-

“I just want to know,” She’s slow to lift her head to meet his gaze, beating back the burning eyes by blinking a few times, “Is the person that I followed to hell and back, the person that I —”

“That?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow when he pauses trying to get the sentence out, her armor clinking as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“The person that I loved, are you still in there…somewhere?”

If she could’ve short circuited in that moment, she would’ve. She’s nearly sure that she has, considering her train of thought grinds to halt. She bites her bottom lip as if to keep it from falling open after his admittance to caring about her at some point in time.

Loved.

Archive Of Our Own Link. Currently updates on Fridays.

Preview:

“You told me there were reports coming in from Sol bases?”

“There are some…concerning ones that came in only hours ago. At least from what has been passed onto me by the Alliance. We have not received any communication after that,” His brows knit in frustration as she crosses her arms, shifting her weight off her heels for a moment as she glances to the screen on her left.

“What kind of concerning ones?” She asks, watching as the Asari anchor passes the muted report over to another reporter, “Something big?”

“I am not sure yet. Admiral Hackett was to respond to me once it was discovered what had caused the anomaly on the sensors around the Sol relay,” He grits his teeth, “I have not received that aforementioned response.”

Brione flicks her gaze back to where the man stands. That was concerning, no anomaly was ever the good kind. Especially around such a busy relay. She’d have to see if they’d forward that report to her or not, just for closer inspection.

“I must admit, this must be how it feels to be Shepard, having the Council question everything you bring to them with a critical talon, or three.”

“Seems to come with the territory of seeing past the bureaucracy’s bullshit,” She rolls her eyes after catching his disapproving glare, crossing her arms over her chest and shrugging her shoulders. She wasn’t wrong, “You think it’s the ‘Reapers’? I was pretty damn sure it was the Batarians getting bold after their relay was destroyed.”