#lali/joker

[crazy-minded-girl]

shuffle your “on repeat” playlist & post the first 10 songs and tag 10 people!

I got tagged to do this by @technicallycleverdetective Thanks for tagging me 😘

1. Hour 1 - scorpions

2. Cha cha cha - Käärijä

3. KO - Lali

4. Ultravioleta - Lola Índigo, Emilia

5. 1Trago - Danna Paola

6. Gladiator - Jann

7. Strange love - The World Alive

8. Carpe Diem - Joker Out

9. Menestynyt Yksilö - Käärijä

10. Swine - Demi Lovato

I'm gonna tag @punainen-marli @crispyliza @im-likeabird-22 @i-wasnt-ready-for-this @eggshellblues @italianodamiano @lunaresc28 @mrd-gvf @death2normalcy

[crqstalite]

Letters Home.

I made a mistake because this was originally meant to answer a prompt fill and then I forgot about it until now. So I tweaked it, but it still works I think.

I would rather not think about the fact the current majority of writing I've done for Lali and Joker is very angsty. That'll change, eventually, but it was begging to be written so here we are. It's a little shaky since I've written Joker himself maybe a grand total of three times but I'm happy enough with it.

Post-Thessia, minor (major?) character death mentioned. Lali/Joker.

"There's a new Blasto movie coming out, it doesn't look a lot better than the last one, but it'd be great to see with you when you're home again."

Her green eyes are still bright, her grin wide while she falls back on the collection of pillows decorating her bed. Her concerns then must've extended about as far as what was for dinner that evening, or tomorrow's assignment. Blasto wasn't one of her favorites, he knew that every time they'd watched one together, but she'd sat through every single one because it made him happy. Not that she didn't complain the entire time though.

It'd been a while since he'd been fifteen himself, but those concerns shouldn't have included Reapers in them.

"You must know about all the inaccuracies in the movies, huh? With the Council and stuff this has to be hilarious to you."

Joker isn't sure what feeling to name the one that's threatening to consume him while Hilary continues talking, rattling off that week's events. Teachers, classmates, her chores around the house.

The vidmail just seemed so normal. Everything had seemed perfectly fine when he'd checked in on them after they'd left Earth. Maybe that was an overstatement, nothing would've been fine but it was still manageable then. His father and his younger sister had intended to bunker down for as long as they had to, as long as they could while he'd promised them to try and get them off Tiptree. Nothing had seemed off. Nothing had seemed wrong. He thought they'd have time.

Six months later and he'd proved himself wrong. Time was in shorter and shorter supply. By the time he could turn his attention fully back to finding them nearly a week ago to do anything more about their situation, it'd been too late. He'd heard it over the extranet, part the long list of colony worlds flashing red every other hour. His blood had run cold while he'd hoped, prayed he wouldn't find his homeworld among the lost.

The galaxy felt like it stopped spinning when he did. In big, bright red letters, it'd said Tiptree, and he...it'd all felt like a bad dream then. That he'd look back and see it was some other colony out in the Traverse. Not his. It couldn't. It shouldn't have. It was so far outside of normal trade routes that it didn't make sense for the Reapers to seize it.

Yet they'd done so anyway. The last communications had gone out the day prior, and had stretched into silence since then. Where he'd be expecting a call today, instead his missed messages have remained dark. His 'tool won't connect to his father's, or Hilary's.

He almost misses when the door behind him opens, his hand missing the pause button on the video while he scrambles for it. He doesn't get a great glance over his shoulder, but it's enough for him to try and get his emotions back in check long enough to hold a conversation, "Shepard? Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You've got the wrong Shepard, actually. I think." If the voice isn't enough to convince him, then the absence of anger in it does when he turns his chair to look at her. Smaller, softer, more concerned when Citlali pauses in the doorway compared to her elder sister. His girlfriend a sight for sore eyes, at least compared to her counterpart, "Sorry for scaring you, if I did.

"You didn't. Just, thought she was making the rounds again. And holding a grudge against your commander doesn't really bode well for you, as I've found." He can't find the energy to add a genuine laugh with the quip, and while Citlali smiles, it's one of the ones that's strained, "What? I feel like Alenko's walking proof of that."

"I guess, depending on how you look at it." She furrows her brow, maybe in thought, maybe in disbelief. He still can't read her very well, though it's not as if she makes it easy. Shaking off the expression, "Do you mind if I come in? You seemed...busy."

While Hilary's vid has gone quiet, he doesn't meet her eyes. The distraction might be better than nothing, even though he'd rather spend his time alone, most likely watching the last handful of mails from the month prior, "If you want to, sure. Did you need anything?"

"No. It's just...quiet around here. Thessia's on everyone's mind and it honestly feels too constricting." The door closes behind her, "If you're worried, Kodelyn's with Liara right now. I don't think she's going to come back up here for a while."

"Oh good. That'll probably give her time to cool off." Refocus her frustration with Thessia back towards comforting, always seemed like it fixed something in her. He might've been out of line, but he hadn't been expecting for her to explode at him like that. It seemed too out of character, and he hadn't been able to accurately predict it. The longer she spent doing anything else was probably extending his lifespan. Shepard wasn't predictable, but she rarely played the stereotype of the short-fuse Commander.

"Cool off?" Citlali quirks an eyebrow, "Was she mad at...you?"

"Surprising, I know."

"Weird. What'd you do?"

"Nothing." He says habitually, then sighs, "I don't know. Rough day for obvious reasons, she wasn't doing so well and I probably didn't make it any better."

"Oh." Citlali cringes, "She wasn't too upset with you, was she?"

"Probably not with me specifically. I just ended up as collateral damage."

"Collateral -- Never mind. She'll probably apologize when she's feeling more like herself. If she ever does." Her tone wavers at that, uncertainty on the other end of it, "Are you okay, though?"

His silence answers it for her. What does he say to that? Fine, only that I found out my home might be ashes and the only family I have left might be gone?

Well, he probably could.

"Sure. Fine."

Her smile's shaky, "Are you really fine, or are you just trying to get rid of me?"

"Never, I love spending time with you. You know that."

"Uh-huh. I'll suspend my disbelief, but only because you're sweet," She frowns at that, padding over to sit in the empty co-pilot's chair, turning it to face him, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. You don't have to lie to me though."

"I'm not. Just dealing with...everything. All of us have our off days." The screen blinks when he turns back to it, Hilary's expression still frozen in one of amusement. His chest grows heavy again, this one was dated a day before the Reapers came through. This vidmail, the one like so many others that'd come before it, was one of the last ones he'd ever have of her.

And when he received it, he hadn't thought anything of it. He wouldn't go as far as to say he'd taken the ritual for granted, but he'd thought he'd receive another one. And another after that. He was careful to watch every one, and send back another as soon as he was able. His had gone unread.

"Fair enough." Citlali leans back, blissfully oblivious, "Long day. Maybe way too many things happened all at once."

"You could probably say that again."

"I'll refrain from repeating myself." She chuckles, "Can't wait to get back to the Citadel. The rest this crew needs is probably ticking up towards absurd."

"That bad in your professional opinion?" He asks, "I'd thought we were doing just peachy. Y'know, with the Council trying to absolve themselves of guilt and the galaxy crumbling around us."

"Thank God for night clubs." She responds, leaning back, "It just feels tenser than ever. Can't shake the feeling we're getting towards the end of whatever this is, and it's making everyone jumpy."

"Probably, yeah. Hopefully it'll be longer than a day or two when Shepard's done with Horizon. It'd be nice not running from Reaper forces day in and day out."

"Too exciting for you?"

"Everyone has their limits. just seems like there are more of them than ever lately, and they all want a piece of us." That much is true. The other half is that he wants a chance to search. Search the Citadel, search the surrounding systems. Maybe Hilary would be with the refugees, and he just hadn't found her yet. Maybe she'd lost her 'tool. They'd never been great at remembering each other's codes.

One hell of a time to forget, if she was out there, all alone and surrounded by the unknown.

Citlali turns her gaze towards the front window, then to one of the screens in front of him from what she can see, "Thessia-related matters aside, if you're willing to share, who's that?"

He hesitates, trying to find an answer while his throat tightens around his words. All he can do is send a picture of Hilary over to her screen. She halfway smiles when she receives it, one of her out in the yard during his last leave. Yellow sundress, celebrating the first day of summer, "Friend? Family? She looks just like you. Same grin and everything."

"Family. Younger sister, actually."

"Aw. Looks just like you." Citlali smiles, "What's she like?"

"Like any little sister, I guess." What was there to say? Why is he looking for adjectives to encapsulate the sister he loved, and why is it so difficult, "Smart, kind, practical joker sometimes. Occasionally gets on your nerves, but you love her too much to stay mad."

"As all siblings do. Feel like she'd be fun to have around. Guess you missed out on the curly hair gene, huh?"

"Had it when I was younger."

"Is she looking to follow in your footsteps? A pilot just like her brother?"

The lump in his throat almost doesn't let him answer her, and he plays with the bill of his hat, "Maybe. I don't think she ever really said anything about it."

"Big shoes to fill, I get it." The smile fades slightly when he doesn't follow up on it, "Where is she now?"

His voice is raspy when he tries to talk again, "I don't...really know. I don't know if she even still is."

Her face falls, furrowing her brows once she realizes, "I- Jeff..."

"Evac orders were sent out to Tiptree a couple of days ago. No news since, only that a handful made it...somewhere. Liara didn't say where." The orange lights in front of him start to swim in the water collecting in the corners of his eyes, "I don't even know if she made it offworld."

There's a flood threatening to burst behind his eyes, delicately held back for the last few days just by sheer will. Just the thought of the planet being turned into Earth, Palaven, Tuchanka...hell even what he saw of Thessia turns his stomach.

They didn't live that close to any major city, but they still would've been at risk if they sent any husks out that way. Any of the other grotesque monsters they'd seen lately.

Had she been looking for him? When it'd all happened, had he missed her call while they were in FTL? Just by a split second.

The thought of one them getting their hands on her, one of the sweetest girls in the galaxy who'd done nothing but act as a ray of sunshine in his life, it kills him to think about.

His hands are wet, he doesn't even realize until he hears Citlali's boots against the ground behind him. Her eyes are searching his face when she kneels down next to his chair, holding out her arms halfway in a silent question.

He accepts a moment later, wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back, a quiet whisper on her lips when she returns the gesture, "I'm so sorry."

The dam breaks.

Big jade eyes that match his, a grin she lamented about every other day. The figurine he'd brought back for her, the Normandy, on her nightstand just in view.

What he'd give to see her again. Hear her voice again.

The galaxy crumbles away, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you, Jeff. I miss you."

[parklevi]

im technically on hiatus but... still does this

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — ani is... th only thing i respond to

AGE — 27

TIMEZONE — gmt-3

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfj? i think

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — im a phd student so technically yes.... astrophysics baby like levi!

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — sure i think fr th most part

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im @unluckydotmp3 on twitter, @luchenbot on pinterest, and you can follow me on ig but im not gonna post it here bc it has my full name and im........ idk its too soon

DISCORD USER — ani #0509

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i... i dont know i read a lot i like everything as long as i dont suffer too much

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — wall-e, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, isle of dogs, spirited away, your name

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — cat’s eye by margaret atwood

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — the joker. what the fuck was that movie.

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — leo

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — no unless they’re saying nice things about leos

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — i used to rp on msn groups like... fifteen years ago 

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? do i look like i do anything besides being on here... i like reading though 

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — i have two cats (perseo and ulises) who live with me and are perfect, and i have a dog (diana) and she lives at my mom’s and i have a cat who i adopted while living at my mom’s and she’s a wild child and cannot come live in an apartment but she’s my baby (carlota)

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i really liked barry. good stuff.

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — i’m very good at being a stereotype of myself i like happy things for the most part.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — i just finished the millstone by margaret drabble and my brain is still spinning so yea

CURRENTLY READING? — the realms of gold by margaret drabble

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i rewatched frozen with my nieces and its still fun.

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — god there’s so many... i’m bad at keeping up with movies...

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — wall-e for sure

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — music’

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — i love jason mraz, and i love a lot kpop girl groups (snsd, aoa, exid, brown eyed girls, many many more) and exo, and tini is my ultimate girl

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in always i’d much rather get drunk with friends at home

ANY PHOBIAS? — i do not enjoy heights but i wouldn’t call it a phobia... i am wildly scared of horses too for some reason

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — most of them i guess? i’d prefer it if they stayed outside of my house though

BIRDS? — not a fan of having them up close because they scare me a little but they’re lovely 

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — both x

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — when people are too loud in places that should be quiet 

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — the creativity fr sure

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — well baekhyun is my #1...... and i like using my latina girls, alexa demie, maria gabriela de faria, tini (if she had more gifs...... if only....), would love to use lali some time but no resources there either.... and then there’s francisco lachowski, madelaine petsch, bruna marquezine, taeyeon, yoona, tiffany, seulgi... love all the faces...

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — i don’t really......... mind the face i guess

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — i love veggies in most forms

WORST FOOD? — i don’t like seafood in the slightest

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — i play sometimes on my computer but only obsessively and then not at all, except for stardew valley which is the only constant in my life

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — please i dont wanna have to think about myself for another second

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — in the tags.......... summer of 2017....... hadn’t rped in five years and thought to myself, a college rp? let’s give that a go!

[fabiochampioraro]

Salomé, the rebirth of the warrior

Perhaps it is because of her engaging interpretation. Perhaps it is for her magnetic gaze. Perhaps it is for her musical choices always original and spot on. Or maybe it's because we were all moved to see her come out in tears from the Olympic pitch. Whatever the reason, the fact that Salomé Pazhava is one of the most beloved gymnasts of all time by the public is evident. Who was in Pesaro for the World Championships has certainly noticed the roar that accompanied the Georgian gymnast on the pitch.

I met Salomé and her trainer Eliso Bedoshvili in Padova, on the occasion of the last competition of Serie A in which she participated for the second year with the Polisportiva Pontevecchio in Bologna and Alexandra Gerasimova, the club’s choreographer , helped me translating the conversation. Salomé is one that does not spare, either on the pitch or in interviews: it was really exciting to hear the story of the last two years directly from her, a warrior who has managed to never give up.

Salomé, born in Moscow on 3 September 1997 but of Georgian nationality, is coached by Eliso Bedoshvili and Lali Dolidze. Her international career began in 2012, when she won a bronze medal at the European Championships in Nizhniy Novgorod in the junior team competition. Become a senior Salomé slowly begins to make her way on the international scene: she was 20th at the World Championships in Kiev 2013 and improved her performance the following year, coming 13th in the final all-around of the World Championships in Izmir. But it is in 2015 that the consecration arrives: after a season full of successes, including the bronze at the European Games, Salomé concludes the year with an amazing competition at the Stuttgart World Cup, which is worth an unexpected 4th place in the final AA , a few cents from the podium. In 2016 she is considered one of the candidates for the podium at the Rio Olympics, but unfortunately several inflammations on the feet negatively affect her performance: Salomé has to settle for a 14th place, not enough to enter the final at 10. But now I will leave  to Salome tell the rest of her difficult agonistic story ...

First of all, how are you, Salomé? Have you completely recovered from the injury?

Yes, I'm fine now. I did not imagine it was so difficult to start over after a year. During the first two competitions I struggled on the pitch, I had never felt like this before. Now I start feeling better, I feel more confident. The  serie a is a great responsibility for me, I'm happy that I'm slowly recovering.

We know that unfortunately the Olympic Games did not go as you expected. How did you experience this experience?

It was 4 years that I wanted to go to the Olympics, I wanted to do well and have a good result and I had trained a lot for this. At the Stuttgart World Championships I had the goal of entering the first 15 gymnasts to qualify; I did not imagine to conquer the fourth place, I did not believe it, I was very happy about it and obviously because I had crowned the dream of qualifying for the Olympics.

I went to Rio de Janeiro very early, a month before the competition, because my federation had already got the tickets; we tried to complain that it was too early, but they could not be changed; so I went.

When I arrived the weather was bad, very wet; even the pitch was wet! I did not feel well, every day was worse, my feet were getting worse and worse. My trainer Lali told me that I had to try to gather all my strength to go on, since it was a long time since I was waiting for that moment; but I could not even do the podium training, I once did the exercise with the music and I had to wait 10 minutes to recover from the pain. The doctors had advised me to immerse myself in icy water and I did it every day: I would do it for 20 minutes to be a bit 'better.

I was not in a condition to go on the pitch. When Irina Leparskaya and Liubov Charkashyna saw me in training, they asked me "Are you Pazhava? What is going on?". When I heard my mom I told her not to watch the videos of the podium training, I did not want her to see them because that was not me. I went to the Olympic Committee and I said that even if I entered the final I would not be able to do anything because I was not well. We did not have a doctor in our delegation, so I had to go to the other federations for help, the Russian and the Belarusian. The Belarusian doctor tried to wrap all my legs with the tape to understand how long I could stay without pain, but even this treatment could not help me.

When I did the first apparatus, the ball, I did not feel much pain. It was after that it started; they made me painkillers injection but when the third apparatus arrived I did not understand anything, I did not know what I was doing, I was really bad. After the tape I could not walk anymore, the Belarusian doctors put special boots on me to cool my legs. My trainer Lali was very nervous and did not understand what was happening. She told me "This moment is so important for you, go, look for all your strength, try!". I understood what she was saying to me but I did not have any more strength, the pain was too great. I was lying with a towel on my forehead and I stayed like that until I was called to get into the pitch with the last apparatusl, clubs.

I do not know how I did my clubs’ exercise. Upon entering I thought that I had this exercise for four years, it was imprinted in my memory and I could do it even with pain. But when I started, after the first lap, I realized that I could not do anything anymore; in two moments I even wanted to stop, it was seen, the cheering of the public has helped me so much to go forward , who shouted “Go  Salomé, come on!". So I finished, even if I still do not know how.

What happened after this difficult experience?

After what happened in Rio I had a depression. The pain I had felt was too strong; until then, despite all the little pains I had felt, I had never really understood what the real pain was. I stayed almost a month at the beach, I did not want to hear anyone.

In the following months I thought a lot if it was the case to stop, I had strong doubts. In this regard I have to give a big thank you to Polisportiva Pontevecchio, which offered me the chance to cure myself and compete for them in Italy. I was very undecided, I thought a lot of time "should I say yes or no?". Obviously they needed an answer, everyone was asking me what I wanted to do, but I did not know it. I waited a long time and maybe thanks to their insistence I decided. I do not know exactly what happened when I said yes; I immediately thought "what have I done, why did I say yes?".

But I realized that I still had the strength to go on, I did not want to finish my career like that. In my country there are no specialized doctors, so I can only thank those who gave me the chance to stay in Bologna for two months. I am happy to have met people on my path like this, they will always remain in my heart, and it is also thanks to them that I have returned to the pitch.

When you started again you found yourself with a new code: what do you think? How the year went?

I like the new code because it is suitable for me; I like working with the apparatus, trying the masteries, so I prefer it to the old one.

First of all I started to mount the hoop. I did not train from morning to night, I started training gradually, I was still recovering. But when I started more seriously there was another injury, the one at the elbow! After a mastery I came out of my seat (I saw the photo and it's scary, ed). For two months I had to take care of the elbow, I could not stretch the arm, every day I tried to stretch it more. At that time I had many exams at university, so I had little time left to train.

I started training well only after July 15th, but at that point the Federation told me that I would participate in the Minsk World Cup in early August. I said "how ?!". Initially I thought about trying, I trained on my exercises but all the apparatus flew away. So I asked at least another week to fix things at least a little bit; so I started in Kazan. In Russia I felt like it was the first time I entered the pitch in my life. I felt all the heat and cheer of the audience and tried to calm down by saying that it was just the beginning, but I knew I was not ready, my exercise was 50%. I tried to take the apparatus back somehow, but I was aware that I was not ready.

At the World Championships I felt a great responsibility, everyone was waiting to see me again. I wanted to do as well as possible, but I imagined I would not be able to do everything. After the final at the clubs I was very disappointed that I could not do well.

At this point Eliso intervenes: She wants to do better, 100% all the time, but I tried to explain to her that she would need at least a year to recover and get back into complete form. Even today he is not able to control well the trajectory of the throws due to the injury to the elbow; when she raises her arm she does not have the same sensitivity as before so it is still very difficult for her!

Let's move on to some curiosity. Who had the brilliant idea of ​​clubs in "Joker’s style"? When you posted the photo on social media, during your stop period, the whole forum went crazy!

The daughter of my trainer Lali Dolidze, Mari, had the idea. We have long thought about how to imitate his character in the exercise! Instead, the idea of ​​painting it on the clubs came to my mother, who has a Russian friend who decorates them with the airbrush.

And where did the hoop music comes from? Someone on the forum hypothesized that you heard it in a video montage dedicated to you ...

No, I did not know anything about this video montage! I heard her on a TV show, similar to "Dancing with the Stars", I immediately searched for it and sent it to Eliso and Lali. They both loved it! I wanted a slow and soft exercise, I liked moving differently. In the end the exercise was still fast, but I'm happy with the final result.

Will you change exercises next year even if they are practically new?

Salomé and Eliso exchange a glance, laughing, then they decide to answer each for themselves since they have different opinions about it.

Salomé: I have not done these exercises well yet, so I would like to keep them for 2018; if I have to change something, maybe it will be the ribbon.

Eliso: In my opinion will have to become more secure with these exercises, now thanks to the various competitions and exhibitions she will have the opportunity to gain experience and gain security. But I think we should change the ball, because this new exercise does not feel so comfortable. I see that something is wrong, he continues to work hard but he still can not do it better because there's something wrong. Anyway, we will soon have a meeting together, with Lali Dolidze too, to discuss and decide!

Salomé: Actually I have not had time to think about it, to put everything right.

Since we are talking with Eliso, we want ask her a question: how is Salome as a gymnast, what is her personality?

Eliso and Salomé look at each other and laugh with gusto, the gymnast asks "maybe I have to go out?".

I can tell you with all sincerity that Salome is unique, I have never seen another gymnast like her. When she was young she was very active and energetic, a great worker, with her eyes always lucid and attentive, she wanted to do everything! At his first race, in Tartu, during the rehearsals, we always looked for her because she was here, then there, then there she was there, very fast! Over time she had to learn to work with her energy, to control it.

How was it to follow her after Rio?

The post-Rio was the heaviest period of my coaching career. We did not know what to do with Salomé. We do not have a support group, doctors, psychologists, we do everything ourselves, the Federation does not help us as much as in other countries. If at that time we had not met the people of Bologna perhaps we would not have seen Salomé on the pitch again!

The emotion of Eliso is palpable since answering and remembering that period she is moved ... and almost almost a tear drops to me too!

Salome was young, she could not understand what she needed, she did not know whether to take this opportunity. I remember the phone calls I made with Alexandra (Gerasimova) in September 2016, thanks to her insistence we managed to convince Salome to take the opportunity to get better, and it was the best decision for everyone.

ps: the interview was taken last year by Beatrice the owner of a famous italian rg site, the translation is mine so if you see some mistakes let me know!

[iraoneluu-blog]

Edisi ninja r. Vinyl cut grapics joker . . . Owner = lali jenenge . . Masih full order ya bos. . #ninja250fi #ninja #kawasaki #ninjar #ninjarr

[crqstalite]

shifting out of shenko mode to shift into veloker mode

[crqstalite]

the difference between ‘never enough to trying to prove that’ v. ‘always too much and trying not to prove that’ is quite interesting

[crqstalite]

( Citlali ‘Lali’ Shepard-Velasquez )

- The middle child of three and the only daughter of Hannah Shepard and Joaquin Velasquez, Citlali Velasquez is one of the few wave 2 L2 biotics still alive in the current generation. While she’s often a sarcastic woman who finds something amusing in every situation, she does have a way of making every room a little bit brighter. Citlali’s a troublemaker at heart, but she’s never far if you need a hand with tech or biotics. She may not look the part either, but she pulls a mean biotic punch that you’ll be on the other end of if you underestimate her.

> Spacer background > Adept (Nemesis) > 5′8″ (172.72 cm) > LI: Jeff ‘Joker’ Moreau > Paragade > Bisexual

Other characters:  Kodelyn / Citlali (here) / Brione / Annika / Daniel / Nia / AJ

[crqstalite]

🖊 for citlali? 👀

-scuttles about- i DO have more of that one scene written. which i will share,,, later. in a few chapters, whenever i get there. i am Excited. (it’s not even her story, but i’m joker trash so do with that information what you will)

if prodded about what she sees in him, the answer is more that she’s surprised he can meet her personality beat for beat. most people she’s met are put off by it, especially when most of it is for the explicit reason of keeping people from getting too close. after maya, she just can’t be too careful.

they’re both just a tad pessimistic (a tad, she says), and evidently, both ended up rising above where people though they’d be. but they share their caring for each other in their own roundabout sort of way, and prioritize their friendship over anything else. joker’s one of the first people to treat her as an equal instead of some variable or someone who needs to be coddled because of something she had no control over. joker’s also one of the first people to see her for her -- not through the lens of being shepard’s younger sister, not through the lens of being one of the last L2s still alive, just lali. and likewise, she isn’t about to start treating him like glass, or that he’s incapable. because he’s not, and he’s her friend that could fly circles around every other pilot she met. including her. (though she wouldn’t say that out loud. what can she say? she’s competitive.)

and that’s stunning enough. she thinks she’s lucky. i think they bring out the best in each other.

(in a more superficial manner, she also thinks he’s cute.)

thaannnnnnk you for asking something coherent, lucian <3

[crqstalite]

For your ocs with siblings, what is their relationship dynamic between them and their siblings like?

Shepard siblings being:

Kodelyn + Citlali have a rather good relationship. They’re the closest out of the three, probably because Lali followed right on after her older sister as soon as she was woken up. They get on each other’s nerves, sure, but more often than not it’s because Kodee is worried about her younger sister, but Lali has little to no concept of self-preservation. Though again, it goes both ways. Lali does not want a martyr as a sister.

They also bug each other about Kaidan and Joker respectively, but that’s just to poke each other’s buttons.

Kodelyn + Mason are a little rocky. She trusts him, he doesn’t trust her. For reasons still being ironed out in Redamancy drafts, I did say in Metanoia that he doesn’t like Cerberus, at all. And finding out his older sister is involved with them...well.

Citlali + Mason are not on speaking terms at the time of writing Redamancy’s earlier chapters. But beforehand, they were good siblings. Neither followed their sister into the military, so they often dealt with missing her and their parents together. Eventually her death pulled them closer together, but Cerberus drove them apart.

Hawke siblings being: (and Evolet because I consider them family).

Reyna + Bethany are the best of sisters. They’re really close, mostly because Bethany is a mage and Reyna took on the role of a protector very very early in life. Since Bethany is also the one who arrived in Kirkwall safe and sound, she also watched Reyna spiral, and she feels a little guilty for being the reason it happened. They comfort each other the best that they can, even though Bethany knows she’s just a little too far gone at times. She’s devastated after the events at Adamant Fortress.

Reyna + Carver have a very interesting relationship. On one hand, Reyna loves her brother just as much as Bethany. But on the other hand, she comes off as absurdly overbearing. To the point that she suffocates her siblings, and Carver doesn’t much like that. At all. He still loves her, though he could do without some of her more annoying tendencies. Losing him on the way to Kirkwall destroys her though, and she’s never ever going to get over it. She’s never stopped grieving.

Reyna + Evolet have...a relationship. Oh boy. They’re hostile with each other near the end of the game, especially with their different opinions on Anders and the mage rebellion. Which is interesting, considering Reyna’s in favor of it to a fault, and Evolet is against it ... to a fault. Evolet has a scar on her thigh from one of Reyna’s daggers because during the final confrontation, Reyna took Anders and ran after Evolet had said she wanted him dead. Evolet is the eventual viscountess of Kirkwall, and keeps a rather rigid (though new) policy for the Circle, though has a complicated idea of what to do with her cousin.

Evolet + Carver are really, really good siblings. They really are, they just don’t say it all the time. Evolet does her best to accommodate his needs, and in turn, he does the same for her. They’re of a similar mindset anyway, keeping Evolet’s mage status under wraps and not pissing off Templars when they don’t have to. She was so broken up about sending him off to the Wardens, and sends letters and care packages when he’s not on the move.

Evolet + Bethany were a good set of sisters. Both mages who were curious about their magic, but healthily apprehensive about it. Evolet was never one to hide behind her magic, or Carver, or mother, or father, but she did her best to keep Bethany safe. Unlike Reyna, she wasn’t nearly as suffocating, but was far less kind and giving than Bethany would’ve wanted for her. It drove a bit of a rift between them, but losing her broke Evolet’s heart.

thank you for the distraction :)

[crqstalite]

lacuna.

(n.) a blank space, a missing part.

for MER 2020. day 7, celebration. set in 2185 [ME2].

-

She's still groggy as hell when the comm to effectively her new boss shuts off, readjusting her eyes to the dark comm room and rubbing the nonexistent sleep out of her eyes. Sore in a few places (all of them, there wasn't a single place that didn't strain when she moved -- bitterly she wonders who in hell woke her up apparently six months too early, and if they were still alive she was going to smack them to hell and back), and she can't help but gingerly touch the scars on her jaw. It was surreal to both be here, with Cerberus of all people, and to even be alive at all. To have to credit them with bringing her back to life, functional as far as she was concerned, was a little disquieting.

It's her, as much as she knows. Her thoughts still feel like her own. Her memories are all still there, fresh in her mind.

Two years, and twelve days. She can't believe it'd been that long, it felt like a very painful nap from when she'd suffocated in the wreckage of the Normandy, to when she woke up in the lab. Only a few moments before she was thrusted back into the waiting hands of the devil who couldn't let her die. Her first thought had been Joker as she raced around the station avoiding mechs left and right, she knew that the rest of the crew had gotten off the ship before she even reached the cockpit, but she'd been terrified she'd sacrificed her own life only to have one of her friends die on her. Then it'd been the rest of the crew, Liara, Garrus, Wrex, Tali.

Kaidan. To hear the Illusive Man confirm he was still alive gave her some peace of mind among all the unknowns. What he'd say to her new allegiances, she didn't know. But if he was still Alliance, and Anderson was still alive, she could find him. Explain what was going on, bring him back onto the crew. Then do the same with the rest of them, though finding them sounded significantly more difficult than finding a fellow officer.

Two years and twelve days she'd spent on that operating table on the Lazarus Project station, having Cerberus do God knew what to her to bring her back to life. There had to be some serious tech involved, because while Miranda had confirmed that no, she wasn't a cyborg and would still pass as organic, there was no way someone spent four billion credits to bring back a simple soldier who'd probably burned up past recognition on reentry.

742 days of being technically dead, dead as a doorknob really.

Miranda said they'd restored her as is. But something about this body just felt off. Maybe because she'd lost the muscle she once had, making the armor set much heavier than she remembered on her now lithe body. The textures felt weird pressing against her skin, the curls on her head completely gone in favor of her natural hair, short and fluffy and in a style she hadn't worn since basic training all those years ago. Other than the scars on her face, every other one was just...gone. Even the one on the back of her neck from the fight with Saren's corpse was missing, smooth, untouched skin there instead.

Skin grafts, if she had to make a guess. Though, it was so seamless when she'd been able to remove her armor before the mission to Freedom's Progress that she wasn't entirely sure what to believe. Was she still her? That was the real question. Looking into a mirror in the bathroom, the scars glowed red omniously. Organic was what she hoped she was, but that was beginning to look like too much to wish for.

Freedom's Progress was just a big disassociation fest, getting used to the off center weight of the N7 armor (it wasn't like any model she'd seen before, which was to be expected two years after the last time she'd been in armor), the use of apparently thermal clips (the hell were those?) and the fact she didn't have a supply of omni-gel at her disposal anymore (which she relied on when she didn't have Kaidan, Garrus or Tali in her immediate squad). It didn't feel like her body that was taking every shot with wavering accuracy. It didn't feel like her who'd reunited with Tali and helped her with Veetor.

She didn't like 2185 to begin with, and it only kept getting worse. Human colonies, abductions, Cerberus, Collectors. None of it seemed real. Sarcastically she wonders how the galaxy went to shit as soon as she died.

It still felt so weird saying that.

She'd died.

And now the Illusive Man was giving her a ship, which she's assuming is fully kitted, paid for by who knew what funds, and either a very cocky pilot or a very capable one.

The hopeful thought flits across her mind before she even hears his voice from behind her, "Hey, Commander. Just like old times, huh?"

She can't stop the smile that spreads across her expression, feeling relief wash over her body as she turns from the comm station.

Joker.

Of course, it'd be Joker. She doesn't know how it could've been anyone else, and damn well she wouldn't accept anyone else. Except she's not entirely sure how to react, instead walking over to him on unfamiliar legs, "I can't believe it's you, Joker." She says, just a little incredulous as he turns up the stairs, and she follows without another word, taking in the sight. How he's up and walking -- albeit more limping than anything else, but still worlds better than the first time she'd met him, is a question for later. One of the thousands that she figures he can answer better than the Illusive Man, Miranda or Jacob combined.

Shit, she's never been so happy to see her pilot before.

"Look who's talking, I saw you get spaced." He answers sarcastically, though she can hear a smile in his voice, maybe just as happy to see her as she is to see him. It's unsettling to see him in Cerberus colors, yet she's sure he has some funky reason for it. Yet his response is the most familiar thing she's had since she woke up.

Her throat tightens up just thinking about the moments before she'd lost consciousness, choking on the lack of air as the vacuum of the galaxy spun around her in a dizzily pretty array.

She wills the memory away.

"I got very lucky, with a lot of strings attached, unfortunately," She deadpans, feeling one of her knees crack again, the shift of armor scratching through her undersuit. Another Cerberus sigil on the wall sends shivers down her back, "How'd you get here?"

"It all fell apart without you, Commander. Everything you stirred up, the Council wanted gone," He sounds disappointed, and she grits her teeth. Of course they did, they didn't believe her about Saren until it was too late, she wouldn't put it past them to forgo believing her about the Reapers either. To keep their idea of peace instead of acting on the writing on the wall, deciding to paint over it entirely. It was going to get them killed and doom the galaxy, "Team was broken up, records were sealed, and I was grounded. The Alliance took away the only thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus."

It was an injustice enough to keep Joker anywhere but on the Normandy. Considering his words, they turn a corner. There's someone else standing at a large bay window as her next question dies in her throat, taking in their appearance. A woman with tanned brown skin, she thinks, staring out into what she thinks is a hangar, dark hair in a ponytail pulled through the back of her hat. She's dressed identically to Joker, and when she hears them talking, she turns her head towards them, arms crossed over her chest.

"Commander," She nods, smiling, "Good to see they finally got you out of that bed, hermana."

It takes her just a second to recognize the slight accent, the way she holds herself. Her green blue eyes boring into her soul from underneath the SR-2 hat. The tiny frame that could still throw a Mako over her head with her biotics if she wanted to. The grin that has a mischief undertone to it.

The other woman barrels into her while Kodelyn holds her arms out for her. Her sister's arms hold her tightly, and she embraces her just as tight back. Afraid to let go, almost. As terrifying as it was to think Cerberus had gotten their grubby hands on her younger sister, she's just glad to see her alive and well. Tears are pooling in her eyes as Citlali mumbles something into her shoulder, before pulling back with a grin, "It's...it's great to see you. Thought Miranda was crazy at first with this whole Lazarus Project thing. Didn't think a word of what she said was possible, still I went anyway because it was you. Damn glad I was wrong."

"I-yeah. Yeah, Lali, I've never been so glad to see you somewhere you don't belong." She says sarcastically, though unable to keep from a small chuckle.

"Hey, I belong just as much as Joker here does," She laughs herself, gently pulling her by the hand over to the hand over to the window, which she assumes is a dark hangar that houses the new ship they'd be using. She has a million questions about how she ended up here, where her parents were, where her brother was, yet she bites her bottom lip to keep from going on a tangent, "Whether I belong here or not is beyond the point, sis. We've got a mission to do, and I'm sure as hell not going to let you do it alone."

"Excuse you, she wasn't going to do it alone whether you were here or not," Joker reminds the sisters of his presence, her sister giving her a look that was half offended, half amused. If she had to take a guess, they'd been here together a while. More questions cropped up, now how Joker was brought on, and then how Miranda managed to convince her sister to come onto what she believes is her new crew. Hopefully because she's not in armor, she won't be on the squad.

"You trust the Illusive Man?" She asks skeptically, turning back to the pilot and raising an eyebrow. Kodelyn didn't trust him as far as she could probably throw him, which probably was rather far. Her sister shrugs.

"I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do," Joker deadpans, and Citlali snickers here, classic Joker, "But they aren't all bad. Saved your life. Let me fly--"

Citlali moves to flicker a light on nearby, "Let us fly."

At the most, that answers her earlier question. If anything, now her sister was living the dream she'd had for years. Just for a mix of all the wrong and right reasons.

"And, there's this." He says, gesturing out to the dark hangar, lights flashing on. They glint off a ship she can't make out just yet, but her eyes widen as she puts the pieces together. The familiar design and hull of the ship, the pattern that jumps out at her once enough lights are on, "They only told us last night."

SR-2 is painted near the cockpit, Cerberus' logo following after it. She's stunned, and for good reason. They built the new Normandy while she was sleeping, and she has more concerns the Alliance might have moles in their company if they got plans for the new version. But her heart still swells seeing it, her smile only growing. Having both one of her friends and her sister by her side, and the Illusive Man's ominous answer to her questions on her squadmates...well she has some hope she'll see them all again.

"It's good to be home, huh Commander?" Joker asks, turning his attention back to her.

"I guess we'll have to give her a name." Kodelyn concludes.

"She's got a name, just a different designation is all," Citlali answers, breaking her immersion in awe by bumping her shoulder, "C'mon. The crew's already on board, plus Miranda will have our heads if we don't leave on time."

This is all crazy, she thinks as they meet Miranda and Jacob at the door, Joker and Citlali going ahead without her. She's given her own Cerberus issue clothes, different than her pilots' and what she assumes is the Captain's version of it. Someone else takes her armor plates from her, and she finds it rather easy to slide the clothes on over her undersuit and change out of it. The new ship is bright, larger than before once she lays eyes on it. Huge even. The cockpit alone has it's upgrades, but the CIC is massive compared to the SR-1's.

It isn't exactly home, she finds. So many different faces wandering around the ship, so many new features that definitely weren't in the plans for the SR-1. Yeoman -- Kelly Chambers is friendly enough, though she's never had her own assistant to file things. Miranda is just as cold as she was when they first met and is apparently her XO now (not her first choice, but at the moment she doesn't have any other choices), Jacob doesn't say much she doesn't already know. Joker is just happy to be back in a Normandy, forget who built it, Citlali more than excited to finally put her schooling to use, hands flying over the controls at a speed that only her senior pilot can match. EDI is a new variable, one Joker doesn't like, one Citlali is wary of. Dr. Chakwas is a happy addition, the older woman was just as glad to see Kodelyn as she was to see her. Pressly was apparently dead, but they hadn't replaced him. Miranda got the XO position Pressly had, Citlali got the navigator duties.

Her cabin is on it's own floor, dubbed the loft by Chambers. There's a fish tank bubbling on one side of the wall, though devoid of any life so far. Fitted with a bed meant more for two, and enough work space for four.

It feels empty. Lonely even as she takes in all her new things scattered across the room.

They've got a mission to Omega, to find a Salarian doctor by the name of Solus. Dossiers for Archangel, who's also on Omega, a Krogan scientist on Korlus, and a criminal on Purgatory. None would be her first choice, but her first request was to get to the Citadel. She needed Alliance and Council allies, and she knew she could rely on Councilor Anderson. En route, they've got about a day until they dock.

While she has some worries about how it was acquired, she's more than happy when she finds nestled among her Cerberus issued belongings is a photo of Kaidan propped up on her desk. She places it back down, grinning like an idiot. He was still alive, not one of her dossiers but that was the only thing not making her want to defect entirely.

It'd be just like old times when she found everyone else. They'd take down the Collectors just as they did Saren, Cerberus or otherwise.

-

and with that i lead into the main part of eye of the storm, the mostly janky planned shenko fanfiction i was already thinking of two months ago. now given, this story takes place in ME2 (or at least ‘all the stars’ will, thats what this chapter leads into) so it won’t be as much shenko as it will be a retelling of ME2 with a few ocs. citlali is one of them, but johansson and petrakis will be part of it. some side...sort of shakarian? i only say that because brione (petrakis) is shepard in her own universe, but for now i’ll refer to that ship as petrakarian in the eye of the storm universe

now im rambling. im just happy i finished MER week is all. loosely followed the prompts lmao. >:3

[crqstalite]

from the scrap pile.

yet another bit of scraps, this time from that time i told myself to novelize me2. obviously, didnt go over well (tl;dr, not enough kaidan for what i was planning to do with a sort of ‘series’), but there are some bits im really proud of in here (i’ll post lali + joker’s interaction in a bit so i can stagger these)

...possible warnings? it’s a combat scene. basically. mass effect 2. kinda worked as an introduction for annika post me1.

-

Kodelyn hears Miranda's voice from just beyond where she'd entered the alley, though there's an extra pair of boots that she makes out, and she pauses to lift the med-kit with her.

Distracted so easily, she only just makes out a hooded figure before she can pull a weapon. She's knocked off balance so quickly by a kick on the ankles she can't even register what's going on until her head hits the ground, hard, with a heavy boot on her chest holding her down and a glowing blue hand above her that holds a pistol aimed for her head. She barely makes out the sight of bullets flying at the person above her, though the blue corona flickers into a shield, blocking them as the shells fall to the ground harmlessly. She picks up the quiet sound of biotics thrumming above her, hearing Mordin's voice and a grunt from Miranda. They'd gotten hit by something, or each other. Her head swims, groaning as she blinks away dirt from her eyes. She can see stars in her eyelids as she squeezes them closed, trying to regain any sense of balance she still had. There'd be a knot on the back of her skull later, she knows it. 

Fear bubbles up in her throat, painkillers flooding her senses and numbing the shock. She's not wearing a helmet, hence the buzzing feeling that's starting to come over her. Her shields had to still be intact, but they couldn't take a shot at point blank range if they decided to shoot. Who knew who this even was? Some rogue biotic with a chip on their shoulder for her? It wasn't like she hadn't made it clearly obvious who she was, with the armor, N7 patch and all. 

She's beginning to feel herself spiral as the boot grows heavier on her chest, straining to breathe properly. Kodelyn's chest feels like it's constricting in on itself, but the rational part of her knows she's panicking, reliving old events. Had been one of the first things the N7 training had taught her how to regulate. Her eyes dart around for those terrifying few seconds, stars dancing across her vision at dizzying speed. Cotton feels like it's filling her ears, the hissing noise of something that sends a jolt through her body joining it.

She considers her options in that split second that her attacker's attention is split between her and her ground team, before wrenching the other person off their feet with a shove to the shins that knocks them off balance. They stumble into a wall, Kodelyn jumping for the chance to close in for a melee hit with her omni-tool glowing a menacing orange on her wrist. She doesn't get the chance before her attacker hits back with a biotic kick to her side, knocking the wind out of her. She's slow to reactivate her omni-tool, eventually realizing pulling her SMG on them would do more harm than good if they chose to use a shield. They take swift advantage of her incompetence in that moment she spends considering. Her attacker punches her a few more times with glowing fists, strategically placing Kodelyn in between them and Miranda and Mordin as she takes the onslaught. A sound strategy, she has to admit, as much as her body throbs at the idea. Seeing this, Kodelyn clumsily struggles to get the upper hand on them, her bulky armor taking a majority of the blows but still leaving places where she's sure she'll bruise.

Eventually, she does get behind them. Thinking it's over, she pulls her pistol out, pointing it at her attacker, who in the dim light whips around. Time slows down as their corona fully comes out, blue lighting their surroundings like a strike of lightning, her attacker charging her biotically. It formulates in her mind then and there that she's been cornered by who they’d been looking for, or at least someone who worked for them. However, she doesn't have long to even say anything before the force catches up to her and sends her skidding backwards onto the pavement. She can't breathe for those few moments, feeling weightless before the ground rushes up to meet her, slamming her back down onto the ground at an awkward angle. Pain shoots up her back as she struggles to draw a breath.

Now she's definitely sure she's gained another bruise, if not a few broken ribs at the same time.

Her hand to hand instructor would be pissed with her if he saw her now. Then again, all the biotics they knew of by that point were all Alliance, there hadn't been a need to learn to fight against them while they were on your side. These vanguards were too much of a wild card to reliably predict how to safely counteract their biotic charges short of literally side stepping them when you saw them coming.

If, you saw them coming.

Still, this was just embarrassing now, her reaction time had been slow and sluggish. Probably why it'd been so easy for them to get the jump on her. Either the Illusive Man or her sister were watching her suit cam, and she'd probably have to answer for a few things when she got back to the Normandy. And maybe take Jacob up on that offer to get some combat training in for the crew.

"Shepard!" Mordin's voice rings through her ears as Miranda closes in on the person. The Salarian offers her a hand up after side stepping the dueling pair, and she gratefully takes it while he pulls up his omni-tool. Blue lights the small space as Miranda throws the other person, though they expected that and counter with a shield, narrowly avoiding the warp she throws out moments later. It's enough of a distraction that she fumbles around for her own Carnifex, and takes steady aim in between the scuffle. Pulling the trigger, the bullet hits the attacker directly in the left arm, a clang sounding and reverberating against the walls of the side street.

A clang?

Her first thought is that it's a robot. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, unless the biotics were just for show and some trick of the light. Yet, the high impact of the shot distracts them long enough for Miranda to get a solid biotic flare in, and they tumble backwards, skidding on their boots into a crouched position. Only then does Kodelyn notice the small party of onlookers they've gathered, and shoots off a bullet in the distance to scare them off. They scurry in different directions, and only then does she approach the still shrouded person. Maybe they've accepted they've been caught, darting a glance to the operative and scientist who have their guns pulled on them. It's easy enough to goad them into moving out of the alley and into the light, though they don't look happy about it in the slightest.

She waves Miranda off to face them properly, the person rubbing their jaw with a grey, metallic hand. Able to focus better on who had admittedly taken her down rather well, purple-blue eyes flicker back at her, a red scarf covering the bottom half of their pale face. A hood is over their head, so she can't discern what color their hair is. A scar runs through their eye, still raised and red.

It takes her a moment to pull herself together, wiping away blood from where the impact had split her lip, "Widow, I presume?"

They don't answer for a moment, eyes narrowing at her. A chill runs down her spine.

"And you think your name is Shepard?" The deep feminine voice asks suspiciously, eyes darting down to the N7 patch on her chest. They scoff, "I'll have to say, Verner doesn't have anything on you. The similarities are nearly uncanny."

She can't place the voice. Maybe distorted through her ears, maybe because the accent isn't clear cut. Either way, they cross their arms and storm ahead, "You're not the real Shepard. A copy, maybe. Plastic surgery? Some Alliance officer to calm us all down? They tried that one for a while."

Alliance officer? That was a little terrifying to think about, in retrospect. Still, that wasn't her focus right then, steeling her tone from wavering, "My name is Shepard. Maybe I should be grateful I'm being recognized at all."

"You're the same person who's been trailing us," Miranda muses out loud, "If you don't think this is her -- which it is -- then why bother coming after her? A form of revenge?"

They skirt the question, "I don't know how you managed to find me here, or why Cerberus wants me, but you're going after the Collectors, I presume. Took someone long enough to realize they're the real enemy here."

"I doubt the galaxy is just in denial," Kodelyn responds, reholstering her pistol from where it'd been in her hands, "Colonies have been disappearing for months. It isn't so easily ignored."

"You talk as if you've been alive for the last two years. There were a lot of people who thought you were dead, Shepard. Think they even had a parade for you somewhere on Earth,"  They say matter-of-factly, as if they're saying she doesn't already know, "I don't know what your deal is, but I've got better things to do than duel with your sub-par combat skills."

Their omni-tool pings on their wrist when they trail off before Kodelyn can say anything, and they shove Mordin out of their path to leave the alley. They turn over their shoulder as an afterthought, shrugging for them to follow. 

"Shepard, you can't tell me you think this is in any way a good idea." Miranda hisses out in a whisper, watching as they turn the corner, "They could be a liability going forward if they attacked you for thinking you were a clone. We might be better off going after Archangel ourselves."

"Operative Lawson is correct. Choosing mercenary who tried to kill you, poor choice, Shepard." Mordin nods, "Would much rather work with someone less...problematic."

Something rubs her the wrong way about Widow, and she files their opinions away for thought when the real choice came to fruition. If she could have both, and it turned out they weren't interested in putting a bullet in her back, then it might work in her favor. But considering the fact they'd just laid her out then and there on the concrete, she didn't have high hopes for option one.

"I'm sure you can guess why we're here then, we need you for this fight," Kodelyn catches up to their shorter stride, but they don't even answer her, "But I'm guessing you're not budging until you finish here."

"Hm, then they remade you with a brain. Comforting." They nod, metal fingers flying over the keyboard of her 'tool, "Then if you know everything about me, then I'm guessing you know about the vendetta I have against Archangel." Kodelyn nods, and they pause by another apartment door, waving their omni-tool over it, "Bastard has caused me some...problems, since I've been here. If I'm going off to do something with a lower survival rate than living here, I'd rather be assured he won't be taunting me from the land of the living."

"You want him dead."

[crqstalite]

oc stats.

tagged by the lovely @nhylluan​ <3 thank you! mid-trying to figure who i have the least content for. happens to be her <3

GENERAL name :  citlali kanani shepard-velasquez [possibly moreau post-war] alias(es) :  flight lieutenant velasquez, lali gender :  female age :  23 [me1], 25 [me2], 26 [me3] place of birth :  present-day rio de janeiro spoken languages :  english + spanish sexual orientation : pansexual occupation :  flight lieutenant of the ssv normandy sr-2

APPEARANCE eye colour : blue-green hair colour : brown-black height : 5′9 scars : one on her lip, earned from a scuffle during project neonate’s [wip title] runtime. another gash on her left shoulder after being kidnapped by the collectors. burns :  none overweight :  no underweight :  also no

FAVOURITE colour : pink music genre :  is a fan of late 22nd century pop music. does it to piss off her sister and joker. movie genre :  sucker for horror vids. says ‘i’ve seen the end of the world and more’ for the explanation for why she isn’t terrified. tv show :  same as above. food :  fan of an spicy food she can get her hands on. not a fan of sweets, to the disappointment of a certain pining pilot. drink :  fruity drinks -- alcohol or otherwise. likes little umbrellas. book : reads a few strategy books, after that, not much. amuses herself with comic books.

HAVE THEY passed university : ...sort of? she dropped out of grissom in early 2183 after her sister died. had sex :  yes had sex in public : no gotten pregnant : no kissed a boy :  yes kissed a girl :  no gotten tattoos :  yes, one during the citadel dlc of the normandy on her left shoulder blade. had a broken heart :  no been in love :  yes stayed up for longer than 24 hours :  yes

ARE THEY a virgin :  no a cuddler : yes a kisser :  yes scared easily :  no jealous easily :  ...sort of trustworthy :  yes, but is very good at lying through her teeth when need be dominant :  should i answer this? [tbfh, yes.] submissive :  not going to answer this. in love :  yes single :  no

RANDOM QUESTIONS have they harmed themselves :  no thought of suicide :  no attempted suicide :  no wanted to kill someone :  yes, didn’t get the final blow though rode a horse : has never seen a horse have / had a job :  yes have any fears :  terrified of being kidnapped again. in retaliation, flares more powerfully and more often out of fear, to the disdain of everyone around her due to her L2 implant’s flaw.

FAMILY sibling(s) : kodelyn shepard, mason velasquez parents : hannah shepard [mother], joaquin velasquez [father] children :  none pets :  none

tagging anyone who’s interested!

[crqstalite]

Character Name: Citlali Velasquez.

Full Name: Citlali Kanani Shepard-Velasquez.

Nick Names: Lali

Gender: Female

Age: 23 (ME1), 26 (ME3)

Birthday/year: February 2nd, 2160

Sexuality: Bisexual

Marital Status: Single (Games), Engaged (Post-war)

Spouse: Engaged to Jeff Moreau post-war (2187)

Hair: Could be described as 3B or 3C. Dark brown.

Eyes: A bright, striking aquamarine with flecks of indigo.

Origin: Was born on the Citadel, but grew up mostly on Earth after Kodelyn entered basic training.

Language: Citlali is bilingual and speaks fluent English and Spanish.

Blood Type: A-

Height: Citlali is 5″8.

Weight/Body Structure/Physical Faults: Citlali weighs 150 lbs. She’s rather slim, as she doesn’t rely on heavier armor or weapons out in the field. Though that isn’t to say that she can’t hold her own. There is one scar she had clean across her cheek because of a fight at Grissom Academy when she was much younger. Though she wouldn’t consider it a fault, she is iron-deficient due to complications with her implant.

Race/Species: Human Biotic.

Parents/Elders/Guardians: Her parents are Hannah Shepard and Joaquin Velasquez.

Siblings: She has two siblings, Kodelyn Shepard (who is six years older than she is) and Mason Velasquez (who is three years younger than she is).

Beliefs/Religion: Citlali is an atheist.

Career/Past Careers: She was part of Project Lamb as a child (a biotic study and ‘enhancement’ program for younger recepients of the implants), and was a student at Grissom Academy to become a pilot. She was a co-pilot of the Cerberus Normandy SR-2 under Jeff Moreau and a co-pilot of Alliance Normandy SR-2, also under Jeff Moreau.

Hobbies: Citlali is proficient in technology repairs, and often is the one crawling through the ship in her free time. She genuinely likes putting this together, and sees it as less of a necessity and more of a distraction in the vents.

Likes: Citlali likes to explore the Citadel. She knows it pretty well considering she grew up there, but there’s always some new shop whenever they land or a corridor she’s never been down before. It’s enjoyable for her.

Loves: Citlali loves it when she can get just a little downtime with Joker. As much as she loves finally being out in the field and the problems she can cause, she’s not afraid to admit that some days she just needs two seconds to keep from getting dizzy and sit with him. It’s also his way of getting her to slow down for two seconds.

Dislikes: Her biggest pet peeve is the lack of difference in food on the ship. One can only eat grey paste (or whatever the cook calls it) so many times a year.

Loathes: She hates people who only see her for her biotics. As one of the few L2s who’s even still alive and not in a hospital bed 24/7, people see her like a prize, rare and ready for the taking whether it’s the military or otherwise. People who’ve tried to date her but turn up thinking she’s so stunning because of the blue glow -- it drags her self-esteem down and makes her feel more like a trophy than a person.

Fears: Citlali fears death the most. Her implant gives her trouble quite a bit, and the outlook on her life is still long thanks to modern science, but there have been enough close calls that an attempt to get it retrofitted is looking more and more like the right option. She has things to live for, people to stick around for -- she doesn’t want to lose everything she loves all because of an outdated hunk of metal.

Strengths: She’s quick thinking with an even quicker tongue -- making her one of the best liars on the ship. Citlali’s a rather convincing person, really. That and that she’s a talented mechanic -- taking after her father.

Weakness: Battle tactics screw her up pretty badly. Though she attended Grissom, she didn’t cultivate her biotics there, nor was she trained for the military. That she did herself in the two years before Cerberus recruited her. Following orders is difficult, especially if a different route is available and seems easier. Citlali is dangerously short-sighted.

Supernatural Powers & Abilities: Her biotics are beyond powerful. One of the youngest L2s (10 years younger than her senior Biotic advisor, Kaidan), she doesn’t follow all the rules. It leads to short outs sometimes, but for her age, she’s crafty and thinks on her feet. Throwing all her power behind attacks rarely leaves people standing. Her power of choice is a stasis.

Temperament: Citlali is the sunshine of the ship, sarcastic and always a bit amused by their situation. Though that sometimes pisses people off, no one can say that she doesn’t try her damned hardest on team morale. She’s sweet enough as it is, and is rather affectionate with her sister and boyfriend.

Crew Relationships:

kaidan alenko ➝ friend (2183-) brother in law (2187-) ashley williams ➝ n/a garrus vakarian ➝ friend (2185-) urdnot wrex ➝ acquaintance (2185-) tali’zorah vas normandy ➝ best friend (2185-) jeff moreau (joker)  ➝ best friend (2185-2186) lover (2186-2186) fiancé (2187-)

miranda lawson ➝ acquaintance (2185-) jacob taylor ➝ acquaintance (2185-) mordin solus ➝ friend (2185-) jack (jacqueline nought)  ➝ best friend (2185-) urdnot grunt ➝ friend (2185-) thane krios ➝ acquaintance (2185-2186) samara ➝ acquaintance (2185-) legion ➝ friend (2185-2186)

james vega ➝ best friend (2185-) EDI ➝ best friend (2185-2186) brione petrakis  ➝ colleague, acquaintance (2182-) annika johansson  ➝ friend (2183-) hannah shepard  ➝ mother reuel shepard  ➝ n/a joaquin velasquez  ➝ father kodelyn shepard-velasquez  ➝ half sister mason velasquez  ➝ brother

[crqstalite]

Scintilla.

(n.) a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely visible trace.

for MER 2020. day 1, first impressions. set in 2184 [pre-ME2]

-

The first time Joker meets Citlali Shepard-Velasquez is during one of the lowest points in his life. When he can barely focus on what's going on around him, and everything feels like its lost its meaning. He hasn't flown anything, much less the Normandy for what feels like forever, hasn't seen the old crew in just over a year. Liara was gone, disappeared off the map. Garrus wasn't going to be found, not after he stopped trying to rejoin C-Sec. Tali went back home to the Flotilla, and so did Wrex, to Tuchanka. Hell, even Kaidan didn't stick around, and instead went off into the Alliance for something or the other. The last time he saw all of them together was at Shepard's memorial service.

Not a word was said to him. He's not sure whether to be grateful with the lack of attention or concerned about the silence on his hand in Shepard's death.

Alchera still manages to haunt him in the early morning hours, dragging himself out of bed with aching bones just to end up back in it a few hours later. Probably had a lot more self-destructive thoughts than was healthy, but what else was new? He's anxious to get back into space, anxious to finally get off this blasted station that's way too white and yellow for him to be comfortable i. If he was given a mission to help Shepard again, in anyway that he could, maybe the ache in his chest would ease. He could get behind anything Shepard did, anything Shepard was willing to fight for. And if that was Cerberus, then so be it.

Maybe when (not if -- Miranda was very confident in the Lazarus Project's completion, and he knew better than to piss off someone from Cerberus when he couldn't even get a headstart) she woke up, he'd feel better.

"As for your new allegiances among us, we've found a capable pilot for when Commander Shepard wakes," He can hear Miranda clicking down the hall in those godforsaken heels, but a new pair of shoes following after her. Not heels, but not military boots either. He turns from his work station, deciding to pull himself up into a standing position in case Miranda has brought someone of some high rank in Cerberus with her. They don't tend to get a lot of new recruits (or at least, since he's been there), and he has chosen to remain rather reclusive since he arrived proper in their service, "Though your service record is rather...limited, I and the Illusive Man believe you'll work well together."

A co-pilot then? He didn't even have one of those on the SR-1. Someone else took the helm at night so he could get a little shut eye and whatnot, and y'know not drive them into a relay headfirst because of the lack of sleep, but he'd never actually had someone else in the seat next to him except for the lieutenant on occasion. That makes him a little nervous, and a little annoyed Miranda didn't say a word about this assignment to him either. He was Jeff Moreau, graduated top of his class and he sure as hell didn't need a co-pilot. Hell he had a service record to back it up, unlike whoever she'd brought on. Navigating the battle of the Citadel was just one of them, Therum and Virmire being others. The person with her is quiet, and doesn't respond as they grow closer to his glorified cubicle. Logging reports on colonies he made supply drops to, that could wait. He needed to know who his new babysitter was, and how soon he could convince them to lay off and find some other job on the new ship the Illusive Man had promised him.

He takes a pause when the two round the corner, but he doesn't focus on Lawson at first. The woman with her is far from what he was expecting. Maybe someone who was uptight, someone like Shepard with her hair pulled up far from her face and with some monotone voice like every AI he'd ever met. Someone who'd probably tell him not to do half the shit he did, and would probably report him for every little thing he said. Would probably get amusement from seeing him suffer until the new ship they had yet to reveal to him was stolen out from underneath him for all the glorified writeups he'd receive from someone like that.

That's not the reading he gets from her in the slightest. Hands on her hips, with a similar hat to his own mashed over her curly chestnut brown hair that tumbles out from underneath the brim of the cap. The Cerberus uniform isn't ill-fitting on her either, if he's being honest she's only a few years younger than he is, and those startling aquamarine eyes stare back at him. Tired, annoyed maybe. A scar runs through her cheek, freckles decorating around it and bags underneath her eyes. Short, but far from stout. Her lips pucker out, colored with a maroon lipstick as she surely takes him in the same way he does her.

She's pretty.

And she looks just like Shepard, save for the eyes and uptight attitude.

Oh shit.

"Mr. Moreau, we've found your co-pilot," Miranda clears her throat, pushing her hair over her shoulder, "Miss Citlali Velasquez, candidate for Flight Lieutenant of the SSV Iwo Jima before the crash of the SR-1 over Alchera."

Velasquez? As in the same Velasquez surname as Shepard-Velasquez?

Just his luck, and only now was he remembering that talk in the mess right before Virmire with everyone talking about their families. A few names stuck out to him now, someone named Sarah from Ashley's family and some from Wrex's, but now he's beginning to remember the younger pilot with the Shepard name. Checks out, yet only referred to as Lali. Had been considered for a posting such as his before his joyride in 2183.

Does she recognize him?

He's fucked if she does.

"Mr. Jeffrey Moreau, Flight Lieutenant and pilot," It's a clipped introduction, and he nearly mentions his status on the SR-1 himself before he takes a pause and it dawns on him that Miranda did it for a reason, leaving out his service record. He glances at her, and that omnipresent smirk is on her face. Maybe she knows that surely Shepard's younger sister (he thinks that's who he's looking at) would blame him for the SR-1's crash. That, would be bad for business, and this new partnership. He's at least conscious enough to make that decision, and it might save him some ill-fated fatality later. It feels like electricity is running through the air, though for now he's blaming that on the biotic standing next to him instead of his own nerves betraying him.

Begrudgingly, she holds out her hand to shake his. He takes it. She's warm, with a firm grip that says she undoubtedly means business. He doesn't know whether to tell her that any tighter, and she might shatter a few of his fingers, but he hides his gratefulness when she lets go, "Hope you're up to raising a little hell with me, Mr. Moreau."

"Sounds good," He answers. There's a twinkle in her eyes, popping out against her tawny brown skin that says he might be in okay hands, "Don't know what we're flying yet, but Shepard's in good hands with you and me."

"She sure as hell will be, with me at the helm this time around," Her expression darkens, "My sister died trying to save some damn pilot on the Normandy. Hope they're happy, wherever the hell they are. Damn glad she's even a little alive. Can't think of the name of her pilot right now, but you wouldn't be against a manhunt, yeah?"

Joker tries not to make it obvious he's about to start sweating bullets if she goes on like this. So she was aware of who he was, just hadn't made the connection between said pilot and the one that was standing in front of her presently. He wonders how long that'd last, and how many surgeries he'd need to logically run from her, "Right, of course not."

"Play nice, the both of you. I'll have assignments for you in the morning, 07:00. We'll see just how well the Illusive Man did with the recommendation," Miranda responds, knowing she's effectively done here playing the bridge between the pilots, "Citlali, your bunk is upstairs, across the hall from the women's washroom. Someone will get you set up with an omni-tool and station. Jeff--" She narrows her eyes at him, "I still haven't received your report from the last colony your delivered to. The Collectors aren't exactly a joke, and we didn't bring you here to freeload."

"I'll send it, was just about to do that when you got here," He holds up his hands in defense, and the woman raises an eyebrow in disbelief, "Promise."

Once the operative has left, she slips her hands from off her hips, pulling her hat off and running a hand through it before replacing it, tousling her tawny brown curls over her shoulders. Similar to his own habits, even if it was unconscious. She doesn't say anything for a moment, squinting at his form as he leans against the wall for more support. He was never one to stay standing for long, "Kinda look like you're about to chew me out for something. Sorry?"

"You probably outrank me anyway, Moreau. Haven't done anything to piss me off yet," For some reason, he wants to see her smile beyond just that little smirk she and his 'supervisor' have going on. There's a space between her two front teeth that he can see just underneath her lips, and through his somewhat unfocused haze, he can see she has twin moons sparkling from her earlobes, "It's what Lawson said, never enlisted but I was considered for some positions a while back. I like to fly fast and play loose with regs." She sighs longingly, "So upset I got looked over for the position on the Normandy. She was one hell of a ship."

"Uh, yeah. She was." He answers uneasily, considering whether or not she takes the hint to leave, "Damn best thing I'd ever flown."

And also immediately regrets what he alludes to twenty seconds after it's left his mouth.

She furrows her brow, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall next to him. No luck on that front then, "Sounds like you're speaking from experience, lieutenant," She chuckles sadly, "To be the lucky bastard who both flew it and got his commanding officer killed. Double edged sword if you ask me."

Well, no one said they had to be friends. But it still stings when she says it. It wasn't as if he was over Alchera just yet. He doubts he ever will be.

He misses Shepard. They weren't the best of friends, but she still left a hole where she used to be. They were all tied together by Shepard, and now that she was gone, he lost the friends he made because of her. No one from the old crew blames him for her death, even if his last conversations with Kaidan about going to Cerberus for her were very clipped and cold, he wants to blame that on the fact he did try to recruit an Alliance officer to a terrorist organization, and not that he'd gotten who he loosely assumes is his girlfriend killed because of his stubborn streak.

"I am," He answers, she narrows her eyes in response. He swallows down his pride and shrugs, "Most people call me Joker."

She pushes herself back off the wall, and he prepares himself for the onslaught he's sure to receive as the look of shock and anger flash across her face in realization. He'd rather not have to sleep with one eye open at night wondering if she'd found out his real identity in the end and have to watch for a knife in his back. At least now he can certainly say his life is not set in stone.

"Does Miranda know?" Is all she asks, her expression entirely blank and not betraying a single emotion to him, "Did she know when you got here?"

"Yeah. Probably whole reason they gave me the position as Shepard's pilot again." He says, watching as another report comes in on his omni-tool. He tries to give her a sarcastic smile, "Not like I'm entirely over it either. Don't worry, I won't get you killed too."

She pauses, her mouth slightly parted with a thought just on the tip of her tongue as he turns back around, sliding back into his seat. Relief washes over his body, the burning in his joints receding accordingly. Damn, did he miss Chakwas, "You can go now, you know. Doubt you'd want to stick around with me for too long."

"You --" She falters, before he feels his chair turn around without a hand on it. She's gently glowing blue and white, though it fades a minute later as she comes closer, "My sister died, yeah. But...she spoke like you were the second coming of the Mars relay. Means she died saving the best damn pilot in the Alliance. Ko-Shepard would never just give up her life for anyone."

She shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Can't believe Miranda paired me with the last person to see my sister alive," She mutters, the killed just barely avoided by the tone of her voice and substituted with saw, before lifting her head to face him again, "Not going to lie, I'm not exactly happy to work with you, whether she's alive or in a coma or what. I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you."

"Yeah, I get that. I'm not happy working with me either." He says sarcastically, giving her a look that says 'for the love of Sovereign please leave', "Didn't Miranda need you for something though?"

"Yeah," She says noncommitally as she looks at him up and down in a way that screams Shepard at him, "I'll see you at seven tomorrow then, Joker."

He doesn't waste another minute watching her go, before she turns around the corner and disappears. So his new co-pilot didn't want to kill him, not yet at least. And she was a biotic. Sounded great, definitely was extending his lifespan for decades.

He groans at the empty document in front of him, before pulling up the UI and subsequently the personnel report Miranda had badgered him to read for weeks. So not a babysitter. Possibly a cause of death. Her groans inwardly, her words and now the document confirming her relation to Shepard. Her track record checks out, though he raises an eyebrow at her year long stay at Jump Zero as a child (remembering off handed comments about the station from Lieutenant Alenko), a few years at Grissom Academy. Trained to be a pilot while there, and like Miranda had said, was a candidate for Iwo Jima in 2182. Young. Twenty four years old to his twenty nine.

Something says he and their new ship are going to be in, at best, okay hands.

[crqstalite]

Epoch.

(n.) a particular period of time in history or a person’s life.

for MER 2020. day 3, mass effect + andromeda. set in 2185/6 + 2819.

-

23:45. sent november 13th, 2185.

>> video recovered.

>video playing.

"Hey Dee--No that's wrong. Shepard? Kodelyn? Commander? Fuck. Y'know what? No script."

[inhale and subsequent exhale. camera shifts to focus on dark haired woman in alliance clothes.]

"Shepard. I don't know whether to believe the rumors or not. For nearly a year they've said that you're alive. Hell, Alenko came back a while ago from Horizon, shell shocked saying that Anderson was right. Don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about that."

"Feels like everything fell apart when you died. I lost my best friend, I lost the first ship I'd ever served on. I lost basically all of my contacts. The only person I'm still even in sort of contact with was Joker, but that was nearly...two years ago? I see Alenko whenever he's on the Citadel, but he's clammed up. Won't say a word about you, about the Normandy, about anyone but his current assignments in the Terminus Systems. I think he's in denial."

[dry chuckling. sighs.]

"We're all in denial, by the way. I wanted to go after Liara, find what she knew. Apparently she set up shop on Illium, but by the time I got there, she was gone. No one would tell me where she was. Alenko said Garrus was with you, so that's some solace if you're still out there. You know he'd follow you to hell and back after what you did with Saleon for him."

"I still don't believe you're alive. I saw the reports. Saw the whole debacle over what attacked the Normandy. Good old Council, still denying everything. There's no way that was the Geth. They're only claiming that it was because they don't want to start a mass panic over what they don't know and can't fathom in their peanut sized brains. I'm going to biotically smack Sparatus into next week if he claims Reapers don't exist again."

[muffled conversation]

"The real reason I'm making this video is because the Initiative is taking off in a bit. I know, it moved fast since my dad got shut down over SAM. We're set to take off in the next two weeks, so everyone's cleaning up shop. Farran has had his apartment cleaned out since we got clearance for the arks. He's always been on board to head to Andromeda."

"I didn't want to leave at first. I helped the best I could before I headed off to Therum with Liara, but I thought that's what was here for me. The Milky Way is my home. Then the Geth attacked and I saw you again. Then I decided I might just be a career soldier like my dad always wanted. I'm trained as an adept, you know. I was happy on the Normandy. Helping Liara with research, going out to uncharted worlds with you. I had my best friend and new friends all around me. It was far from perfect, especially with Hackett throwing mission after mission at us, and then Virmire..."

[rustling of datapads. gets up, paces back and forth. sound is viable, but accompanied by the sound of socked feet on linoleum.]

"Then you died. Then I didn't have a purpose anymore, sitting in that escape pod for nearly a day, acting like a child. Rocking back and forth, crying to the point I couldn't even really see or breathe. I didn't want anyone to touch me, hell I went out on my own to search for you. I got lost. Tali found me, throwing pieces of the Normandy around like a raving idiot searching for anything that would point me back to you."

"After that, I threw myself back into helping my dad. He was disgraced for SAM -- I'm sure you know that bit by now. Everywhere on the Citadel reminded me of you. Everywhere in the Milky Way reminded me of you. I had to get out of here, and acting like the rest of the galaxy didn't exist sounded like it would be the best course of action. Somewhere completely new, somewhere I could wipe the slate clean. Start over. Be happy again."

[laughs. sigh of disappointment. looks over to clock.]

"Joker came to me in...late 2183, I want to say? Said Cerberus -- yeah Cerberus of all people, those guys mixed up with the marines? -- had you. Said they were rebuilding you and he had proof. I denied him, didn't believe him. I knew he'd taken your death the hardest, that he blamed himself for it. I said things I shouldn't have. I know I can't justify it that 'I was in a bad place'. I hurt him, I know I did. Then he was just...gone. Completely off the grid. Anderson couldn't track him down. Your sister disappeared after that as well."

"I felt so alone. Farran tried to comfort me. Didn't work. The Initiative was tangible again, and I didn't see dad for a while. I had never been so ready to leave before. Now looking around, the empty room, the severed ties with anyone else in the Alliance? I ask myself if I'm doing the right thing or not. Whether leaving it all behind is the right decision."

[more muffled conversation. swiping of another tab before returning to chair and sitting down.]

"Look. If you are with Cerberus, I know you're doing it for a reason. Maybe you're a mole or something. Tearing them apart from the inside out. If you're alive, shit if you're even a little alive, please send me something. Confirm it, please. So I can reconsider all of this if I have to. I'd do anything to fight by your side again. Stop me before I make the most irreversible mistake in my life, Shepard. Kodelyn, please. Andromeda is full of opportunities, but you were everything to me. Alenko can mope all he wants, yes I knew about that, but you were my friend first, my sister first. You gave me so much, and now I can't pay you back."

"We can talk about Cerberus if that's what you want. We can talk about whatever's going on. Anything you want. I won't judge."

"Please. Come home, Shepard. I need you."

>video playback ended.

>>video archived.

23:56. november 13th, 2185.

-

>received november 14th, 2185.

>>opened july 8th, 2186.

-

16:18. sent july 8th, 2186.

>>video recovered.

>video playing.

{crackling. mumbled words. indecipherable. recorded on omni-tool.}

{clearing procedure}

{video stabilizing}

[woman appears. dark haired. recognized as commander shepard of alliance navy.]

"Fia. Hi."

"This is an entire year late. I know. I was too late, I think. I don't know. Any records of the Myungs were erased from the Citadel databases. I just recently got access to classified and personal files back, yeah long story I was arrested for a couple months. Reinstated as of a few minutes ago."

[mumbled conversation from male voice behind subject. ignored.]

"Find Vega, get him prepped for Mars. We're going in quick and quiet but tell him to be ready if things get hot."

[video refocuses.]

"Earth was just attacked. The Reapers are here. Sparatus is going to eat whatever a hat is in Turian places for denying their existence all these years."

"The suicide mission against the Collectors was a success. They're no more. But the Reapers...shit I just watched them take out Vancouver. We're getting reports of other attacks all over the planet, more in the Sol system by the hour."

[woman pulls helmet out. video focuses.]

"Shit shit shit shit. If it's any solace, my parents are alright. My brother is as well. Lali's onboard with me. As far as Dr. T'Soni and Lieutenant Johansson are concerned, we don't know. Last we heard they were on Mars, fighting their way to the archives for anything to fight the Reapers with. Staff Commander Petrakis has been off the grid for a couple months now, not a word out of her since the collector base assault. Major Alenko doesn't know where she is, but we know we need to get in contact with her, and in turn Garrus and the others if we can. We need every force we can get."

[clattering noise sounds. more cursing.]

"Fia. I'm so sorry. I heard AI took off a few months back while I was under house arrest. I know you're probably gone, and I wish I'd seen it before. My omni-tool code changed back late 2185, security risk so close to the base assault. Lawson was worried after Horizon that brass would come after me. I'm so damn sorry."

[incoming call on another line.]

"Please. If you get this, be careful. I don't know if the Reapers will come after the Initiative. Be ready for anything. They will not stop at Earth, I know that much. Tell your father, Garson, anyone to be ready for whatever comes your way in Andromeda. I've always loved you, sister, best friend. You know that. I’ll always be with you, wherever you are."

[incoming call.]

"Be careful, tabula rasa. There's another galaxy out there, and if you all are the last humans out there after all this goes down, make us proud."

[incoming call.]

"Don't let the cycle take us again."

>video playback ended.

>>video archived.

16:25. july 8th, 2186.

-

>received august 22nd, 2186.

>seen august 30th, 2818.

>>opened june 1st, 2819.

-

"So the Reapers were real then," Cora says, turning to the Pathfinder, deep in thought, "They were in such a hurry to deploy us because whoever funded the Initiative--"

"They knew the Reapers were coming. We were humanity's Noah's Ark," Fiametta Myung responds, shutting off the blue and white display in her father's old quarters. Stepping back, she runs a hand through her brown and purple hair, "And now? We don't even know if Earth survived all of that. And Shepard..."

"It's been six hundred years. I get the picture," Cora muses, "You said Dr. T'Soni travelled with her early on though? You think you might be able to get a message out to her?"

"If I could, I think we would've got one first from either her or Shepard. Either with the destruction of the galaxy or one of victory," Frustrated, Fiametta sits down on the edge of the bed, "Cora, forget that T'Soni might still be alive. Do you think there's a chance the Reapers could come for us?"

"All the way in Andromeda?" The commando shifts her posture, crossing her arms and leaning against the desk, "If you want my opinion, it's a flat I don't know. You worked with her closer than I did. Any Reaper information I heard about was secondhand accounts from you."

"Great. I'm flying blind again. Tann is going to have my ass if we know about this and they show up in a couple months to finish the job," Fiametta drags a hand down her face, flopping back on the bed unceremoniously, "I'm the worst pathfinder to ever pathfind. First my dad dies, then every planet in uninhabitable, can barely reunite all the races, can't find the Quarian ark, and to top it off, nearly lost the whole Hyperion taking Meridian."

"Well I was going to say that if they did...well we could get a headstart on them? Start bunkering down before they find us, so they don't catch us off guard like they did the Milky Way," She says, gesturing to the computer. That made sense. They probably hit Earth so hard because they hadn't been ready. Fiametta scoffs inwardly, damn War Council never took Shepard's word for anything and now they'd paid for it dearly. Her tone is still concerned, but softens, "And don't say that. First, who knows if they managed to take down the Reapers anyway? Second, we don't know jack about what's going down in the Milky Way right now. Anything could've happened, and we could be worrying for nothing. You found Meridian, we took Meridian and took down the Archon. Hell you made every viable world habitable for generations to come. What's a couple more to add to the list of achievements?"

"Cora, the Archon was one dude. The Kett retreated, probably to gather more forces. These Reapers? They've been in this cycle for fifty thousand years, probably since the beginning of time. The Protheans weren't the first to be wiped out, and they might not be the last either," Fiametta curses under her breath, "We aren't prepared for war. We've barely got enough forces to fight off the remaining Kett, much less another wave of space cthulus. We're explorers, not an army."

"It took us six hundred years to get out here. Maybe it'll take the Reapers a whole lot less, but we've still got time if they do. I'll requisition Tann for more forces on the edge of Heleus in a few years time if you're still really worried. We just need to establish a foothold first and then we can have patrols out."

"Now you're making me sound crazy," she notes, "Forget the Reapers for right now. Just stick a pin in it, Cora. I'm rambling, you don't have to pay attention to me."

"If that's what you want," Cora chides, striding over to the bed, "Hey. You've done a damn good job at colonizing Heleus. If anyone can take the Reapers, it's you."

"It's Shepard, actually. She was the one with a Prothean cipher in her head," While Cora sputters at the news, Fiametta chuckles, "Early 2183. Feros. Thorian. Some asari. I wasn't there for it. Just... stressed about finding this all out now."

"She was really important to you, huh?" Cora questions, gears still turning in her head, "She'd be proud of you. Just like your father would be."

"Hope so," Fiametta answers, sitting up to face her second in command. She doesn't know if it's true, but if it makes Cora feel better about their situation, she can at least pretend to take the praise in stride. Her heart hurts, Shepard had always been there to guide her through the worst of it. And now? She was all alone, pathfinding without a path to follow, "C'mon, let's get out of here before Jaal tears the Hyperion apart looking for me."

Cora nods approvingly, a smile crossing her features. As the other woman leaves, Fiametta stands again. She pulls up the UI with a few swipes, scrolling back to the message. She watches it again. Shepard hadn't looked all that well in those final moments. Bloodied and bruised, torn BDUs. Arrested? For what? Working with Cerberus? Hell if this so-called suicide mission was so successful, they should've given her a medal like they did after the Skyllian Blitz. Johansson -- that was Annika. Petrakis was Brione. Vega, she hadn't heard of a Vega before. Alenko...that meant Kaidan had been promoted after she left.

She misses them. Six hundred years separates her from the people that knew her best. 

Six hundred years separates her and Shepard. Her best friend. Her everything at one point. History would remember them for their sacrifices. They’d better remember her sacrifices specifically. Maybe she should try to get in contact with Dr. T'Soni. If Shepard's message made it to them in-transit, maybe with the Nexus' connections she could get her own out to the Milky Way. Find one of Shepard's descendants, or one of the species that hadn't been entirely destroyed if Liara's research had been truthful when they had been working together.

Her hand hovers over the UI, considering. Her old life had ended. She hadn't woken up a tabula rasa, but instead had changed Heleus for the better. She hopes.

Staying in the past wouldn't get her anywhere.

>video saved. june 1st, 2819.

>>removed from active messages. june 1st, 2819. archived by pathfinder fiametta myung.