#lab rat behavior
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Come to the infinite labyrinth, it has snacks
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#john ross#the terror#polar exploration#sir john ross#hes like a lab rat running mazes for my amusement im fascinated by his beautiful hater mind and his loser behavior
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I want to study the Gallagher’s jealousy tendencies 😫 I find them so interesting
So far we’ve got (I’m sure I’m missing a few):
Liam jealous of: Paul Weller, Johnny Marr, Russell Brand, Matt Morgan, Bono, Bradley Cooper, Damon Albarn, Melissa Lim and, of course, Sara. I don’t think he was jealous of Louise or Meg and I don’t recall Diane saying anything other than he was a menace as a teenager but idk if trying to peep into their errr sexual activities counts as jealous behavior 🧐
Noel jealous of: Cerice, Robbie Williams, Patsy Kensit, kinda maybe John Squire and idk if calling Nicole a div counts as jealousy 🧐 I find it interesting that he’s never been particularly jealous of Richard Ashcroft (given that that’s literally Liam’s bestie4ever) and we just have the inside scoop that he doesn’t trust Liam’s team (insane because wdym you don’t trust Debbie who is 1) the force behind Liam’s solo success and 2) very pro-reunion) and idk if I can interpret that as jealousy or as his own tendency to control everything
#they fascinate me#they’re my little lab rats and i’m studying their behaviour closely#it’s the behavioral therapist in me#and you CAN’T tell me he wasn’t jealous of robbie like he WAS
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Rats with incentive. 🐀🐀🚙🍩🟡🔴🟠🟢
#pet rats#cute rats#rats#lab rats#rat#rats of tumblr#mouse#mice#cute mouse#driving#motivation#incentive#fruit loops#neuroscience#behavioral#behavioral neuroscience#laboratory#jean michel basquiat#basquiat#pop art#gas pedal#sweet treats#rodents#tesla#robotics#mouse ears#having fun#joy#enrichment#folk art
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Doodle??? based on that "you could sell anything in a void-desert" tweet.
#can of worms#cool ada art tag#//i think a funny bit of context to add is#//while i don't draw morris with scary electricity anymore#//in my head he can still do it to a less flashy degree#//because he's poorly designed and some electrified parts aren't safely insulated#//so combine that with ten years of boredom and intense lab rat behavior#//and he kinda knows how to do it on command to ruin handshakes or freak people out with sparks#//robot equivalent of being able to dislocate a shoulder on command to scare people#//happens unintentionally too though
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btw re: my last art post, I'm being so serious about the "pathological need for attention from people who are mean to her" part. has anyone else noticed. the way Surge rejects most people who try to be nice to her, but instantly warms up to those who antagonize her. quickly agreeing to work with Clutch, starting up friendly banter with "Duo" when he drops the nice-guy facade and needles her and Kit about being codependent, urging Whisper to try to kill her again all giddy because she can "tell she wants to"
considering she spends most of Imposter Syndrome trying to get Starline to pay attention to her with very little success + the way she hallucinates him as the voice of her self-esteem issues ... yeah
#deerchatter#i keep saying we need to bring him back just so we can kill him again#surge 🤝 shadow - we infused this lab rat with equal parts superpowers and daddy issues what could possibly go wrong#edit to make my point clearer: YES i do think starline fucked her up so bad she tries to connect with people who are#mean to her as a proxy for him. it's familiar and she's trying to get some kind of closure. abused kid behavior. you understand
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they are best friends (real)
#giving them some happiness bc they are going THROUGH it#dooley literally DENIED death bc of his siblings lol#girlboss behavior#lab rats#lref#elite force#lab rats elite force#lab rats bionic island#disney#chase davenport#bree davenport#adam davenport#leo dooley#fanart#art
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"What are you doing????? She's a rowdy teenage girl, not a lab rat, she is going to act like a rowdy teenage girl no matter what situation you put her in,"
"Your end goal better be worth it, you lunatics,"
#undertale ask blog#flowey ask blog#ask blog#ghost chara#yanked into the dark world arc#mun: Interesting behavior indeed#tired of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Try Rowdy Teenage Lab Rat#Dr Asterisk Dreemurr
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I only survived because they let me. Sure it's impressive, I guess, but it's only because I've been allowed to survive...
Anyway, I don't doubt you if you don't doubt me on things.
-Mystery guest
(Basically saying he trusts in the Observer as long as he trust him and that IDOL can end him at any time)
Idon'tgivetrust... Idon'tseethepoint. IfKevindecidestotrustyou,thenIwillonlybemoreopen. Withinreason.
Beingallowedsurvivalisstillsurvival. Whetherit'sasacagedratornot.
#mystery guest lol#anonymous asks#???#answered asks#ask response#( ooc > )#he's not TRYING to dehumanize Jester. he's simply making a reference to lab rats or otherwise caged animals#sort of seeing it as a “you're stuck at the will of another like they would be” and using that wording to display that#he doesn't do trust though. at least not really. he also doesn't do emotions usually. he sees things as a chain of power and control.#to him everything he does is just in accordance to that chain. following the proper balance or offsetting it within his own needs or desires#it's not rigid thinking really it's actually surprisingly flexible. but it presents outwardly as an unmoving view to throw people off#sort of a built in ward against people “understanding him” because of his behaviors. natural unpredictability in a somewhat predictable way
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if i match my earrings to whatever we’re dissecting do u think ill get extra credit
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...
#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
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Well since Chaz and Brylar are first choices of endgame in EF, maybe Marliver can get together (after Oliver gets his shit together obviously).
#lab rats: elite force#marliver#mlm ship#marcus x oliver#oliver x marcus#despite how creepy he is in ef#i don’t think he’s irredeemable#he IS an 18 year old boy#so he’s got time to change his behavior
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I find mysterious ppl so interesting. Not like fake or corny "nonchalant" type shit, i mean fucking weird ass people. Like damn bro its so cool that ur sitting in that corner with a weirdly colored cloud around ur head. I wanna research you
#and i don't mean this in a “i want to study you like a lab rat”#ur still a human i just wanna know why ur like that#gonna analyze ur behaviors#silly#shitpost#writing down any real coherent thought and posting it
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Do you ever get a dream which reveals your worst fear to you. And then you wake up and realize why you’re the way you are
#anyways apparently my biggest fear is being left behind#which explains a lot of things#most of all the way I interact with other people and my other behaviors#I am observing myself like a scientist their lab rat#and gathering conclusion through prophetic visions#decidedly not like a scientist but hey#I’m my own lab rat so that’s ok#dream
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10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
pairing: sukuna ryomen x male reader
synopsis: College is hell—but it gets worse when your ex is scheming, your sister just wants to date, and the only guy bold enough to flirt with you might be doing it for a bet. Sukuna is cocky, tattooed, and impossible to ignore. What starts as a setup spirals into something real: a kiss at a paintball park, a night you can’t forget, and a truth that ruins everything.
content warnings: 18+, college au, alcohol consumption, tipsy sex, semi-public sex, morally grey characters, manipulation, betrayal, cheating (implied), emotionally charged sex, lying for personal gain, heartbreak, swearing, slutshaming, emotionally neglectful behavior, public confrontation, yelling, one slap, characters being hot and toxic, unresolved family dynamics, loud party scenes, academic pressure (light), emotionally vulnerable confession in a poem, a little nanami slander, inspired by the titular movie.
word count: 8.0k - art belongs to @/to00fu on tumblr
People didn’t avoid you because you were scary. They avoided you because you made it clear you didn’t want to be spoken to.
No fake smiles. No nodding along. No “haha, yeah” in the hallway. You weren’t mean—you were efficient. Quiet when you could be. Sharp when you had to be. Your sister said it was a defence mechanism. Your last boyfriend said it was unattractive.
You said nothing. And they all took it personally.
So it wasn’t shocking that Gojo Satoru, of all people, took it as a challenge.
He dropped into the seat next to you five minutes before class, sunglasses still on despite being inside, iced coffee in hand like he wasn’t already vibrating out of his skin.
“Okay,” he said, way too casually, “hypothetical for you.”
You didn’t look up.
“What would it take for someone to date you?”
You blinked once. Turned the page of your book. “A lobotomy.”
Gojo laughed like you were joking. “Nice. So you’re saying there’s a chance.”
You finally glanced at him. He was grinning. Bright, smug, stupid.
You went back to your book. “Whatever plan you’re working on,” you said flatly, “leave me out of it.”
“Can’t,” he said. “Your sister’s dating life depends on it.”
That made you pause. Just a little.
Of course it did.
✧✧✧
Gojo said your sister’s dating life depended on you like it were some minor inconvenience. Like you were the problem, and not, say, your parents’ medieval take on dating logistics.
You didn’t respond. You didn’t have to. He took your silence as permission.
“So—” he leaned in, like you were co-conspirators and not two people who’d had a total of three conversations ever, “just out of curiosity, are you into guys? Girls? Hot RAs with emotionally complicated backstories?”
You stared at him. He winked.
Thankfully, the professor walked in, saving you from felony assault.
But Gojo wasn’t done.
Later that day, you found Utahime sitting on the quad lawn, phone in hand, surrounded by three empty bubble tea cups and a stack of psych readings she was pretending to highlight.
She didn’t look up when you dropped onto the grass beside her.
“Gojo’s bothering me again,” you said.
“You bother yourself,” she muttered. “I just get collateral damage.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She looked at you. Actually looked. Her face was too pretty to pull off annoyed, but she tried anyway.
“It means,” she said slowly, like you were a particularly stupid lab rat, “I’ve been asked out twice this week. I had to say no both times.”
You blinked. “...why?”
She stared.
“Oh,” you said.
“Yeah. Oh.”
The silence stretched between you.
“I told them you didn’t care if I dated,” she said, half-hopeful. “That you weren’t, like, emotionally invested or anything.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why won’t they believe me?”
Because once, when you were seventeen, you told your mom that if she let Utahime date some slimy little theatre kid named Kento, you’d report them both to CPS. She’d laughed. But apparently the rule stuck.
No dating for Utahime until her older brother—the one who allegedly told his ex to choke on a thesaurus—started dating again.
Flawless system.
“I'm going to die alone,” she said. “And it’s going to be your fault.”
You tipped your head back and closed your eyes. “Tell Mom and Dad I’m gay. Maybe they’ll make an exception.”
Utahime huffed. “You’re not gay. You’re just emotionally unavailable.”
“Same difference.”
There was a beat of silence. Long enough for you to hear the quiet buzz of her phone screen lighting up.
She didn’t say anything, but her tone shifted.
“I’m not giving up,” she said, almost to herself.
You cracked one eye open. “On dating?”
“On you.”
You frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”
But Utahime was already standing up, gathering her notes and shoving a half-drunk boba into your hand.
“Drink this,” she said. “You need sugar or something. You’ve been looking extra feral lately.”
You watched her walk off, phone already to her ear. She was smiling. Strategically.
You narrowed your eyes.
That couldn’t be good.
✧✧✧
Naoya didn’t usually come to this café. It wasn’t his scene. Too many broke kids and philosophy majors pretending they were deep because they ordered their lattes with oat milk and wore Doc Martens like they invented rebellion. But today, he made an exception. He had a plan, and it needed someone very specific. Someone fucked-up enough to say yes.
Sukuna sat in the corner, back to the wall, hood up, earbuds in—but not playing anything. Just a signal: don’t talk to me unless you want problems. Naoya talked to him anyway.
He didn’t bother with greetings. Just slid into the seat across from him, like they were equals. Like Sukuna wasn’t already deciding if he wanted to walk out or throw his drink in Naoya’s face.
“You’re bored, right?” Naoya said. “You walk around like nothing matters. Like you’re above it all.”
Sukuna didn’t look up. “You’ve got five seconds to stop wasting my time.”
Naoya smirked. “You know Ijichi, yeah? The older one. Poetry kid. Looks like he hates everyone.”
Now, Sukuna looked at him. Not surprised—just interested enough to pause.
Naoya kept going, casual like he wasn’t holding a knife under the table. “He’s my ex. And he’s been going around acting like he’s too good for everyone now. Like he dumped me. Like I’m the joke.”
Sukuna raised an eyebrow. “...didn’t he?”
Naoya ignored that. “I want you to date him.”
That made Sukuna smile. Or something like it. Barely there. Sharp. “You want me to fuck your ex?”
“No. I want you to make him fall for you. Properly. The whole show. Make him trust you. Think you care.” Naoya leaned in. “Then you dump him. Publicly. Leave him the way he left me. Let everyone see it.”
Sukuna studied him like he was a puzzle with missing pieces. “You want revenge.”
“I want to win.”
There was a long silence. Sukuna tilted his head, just slightly. “What’s in it for me?”
Naoya smiled. “If you pull it off, I’ll owe you. I’ve got connections. People who look the other way. Professors. Admin. You’re smart, but your grades are shit. I can fix that.” He paused. “Or—if you’re more into humiliation—I’ll read one of Gojo’s poems at open mic night. Dead serious.”
That got an actual laugh out of Sukuna. Soft. Cruel.
He leaned back in his seat and cracked his knuckles, slow and deliberate. “You think your ex is dumb enough to fall for me?”
Naoya’s grin curled like a cigarette being lit. “I think you’re pretty enough to make it happen.”
Sukuna tilted his head like the whole thing was beneath him—but maybe still worth his time.
He grabbed his drink, stood slowly, and gave Naoya a look that didn’t say yes or no—just, watch me.
“Sure,” he muttered, turning to leave. “Could use something to do.”
He didn’t wait for Naoya’s reply. Didn’t care.
Because the truth was—he’d already seen you around. And maybe, just maybe, he’d been waiting for an excuse.
✧✧✧
The campus bookstore was one of your favourite places to be ignored.
Not the main one—too many screaming first-years buying overpriced highlighters. No, this one was tucked into the corner of an old side street, half-forgotten and dimly lit. Records lined one wall, poetry chapbooks on the other. The kind of place where no one asked questions if you sat on the floor and read for an hour without buying anything.
You were thumbing through the “melancholy bastard” section—Leonard Cohen, Elliott Smith, the usual suspects—when someone moved into your peripheral vision. Slow. Purposeful. Close enough to make it obvious, not close enough to say hi.
You glanced up. Froze.
He was taller than you expected. Sharper, too. Hair pulled back in a lazy knot, a black hoodie stretched across broad shoulders, sleeves shoved up to the elbow. You recognised him instantly. Everyone did. Sukuna Ryomen wasn’t a person so much as a rumour with cheekbones.
He didn’t say anything. Just flipped through records two rows over like he wasn’t fully aware of your existence—like he wasn’t performing not noticing you.
So you ignored him right back. Or tried to. Until he spoke.
“Pretty sure you already read that one.”
You glanced at the book in your hand. Sylvia Plath.
“Maybe I like rereading things,” you said.
Sukuna’s mouth curled into the ghost of a smile. “Sure. Or maybe you just like being sad on purpose.”
You turned fully to face him. “You following me, or are you just naturally this annoying?”
“Neither,” he said, stepping closer now, not even pretending anymore. “You’re just loud for someone who pretends not to want attention.”
Your jaw clenched. “I’m not loud.”
“You are,” he said, so casually it felt surgical. “But it’s fine. I like loud.”
You stared at him. He stared back, lazy and unbothered, like this entire conversation was just a thing he was trying on for size.
Then he held up a record—slowly, deliberately—like an offering. The Smiths. Of course.
“Not my type,” you said.
He grinned. “Good thing I didn’t ask.”
And then he turned and walked out.
No name. No number. Just static, and you're holding a book that you suddenly can’t read anymore.
✧✧✧
He didn’t come up to you again the next day. Or the one after that. Which would’ve been fine, except now you were aware of him. Aware in the way a body is aware of a bruise: a low ache, something you’d keep accidentally brushing up against.
You told yourself it didn’t matter. That the record store thing was nothing. That you weren’t flattered, weren’t intrigued, weren’t still thinking about the way he looked at you like he already knew how the story would end. But then he started showing up.
Once in the library, at the table across from yours. Once in the dining hall, passing close enough to brush shoulders. And once—most irritatingly—in your creative writing elective, which you were sure he hadn’t been enrolled in the week before.
He didn’t say anything for a while. Just… hovered. Orbiting your schedule like it was gravitational. Always on the edge of your attention. Never too obvious. But you weren’t stupid. You’d seen this game before. Some guys flirted with flowers. Others with sarcasm. Sukuna, apparently, flirted with proximity and smirks.
The next time he spoke to you, it was after class, some Thursday afternoon that already felt like a headache. You were halfway down the hallway when he fell into step beside you, calm like you’d invited him.
“You free tonight?” he asked, like you were mid-conversation.
You didn’t even look at him. “Do I look like I am?”
He hummed. “Hard to tell. You’ve got the kind of face that always looks annoyed.”
You stopped walking. Turned to face him. “Are you flirting with me, or just bored?”
Sukuna shrugged, unbothered. “Why can’t it be both?”
You stared at him. He stared back. There was something maddening about the way he held eye contact—like he wasn’t afraid of anything you could say. Like he didn’t believe you could hurt him.
“Look,” you said flatly, “whatever this is? You can stop. I’m not interested.”
He tilted his head. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
He smiled, soft and slow. “Alright.” Then, almost like it was nothing: “You’ll change your mind.”
And then he walked off. No argument. No doubling down. Just that fucking smugness trailing after him like cigarette smoke.
You watched him go, jaw tight, heart doing something it shouldn’t have been doing. You hated people like that. People who were too confident, too casual. The kind of confidence that meant they never really got rejected, only delayed.
Still, you told yourself it was over. That he got the message. That someone like Ryomen Sukuna—someone cold, magnetic, and clearly a walking disaster—wouldn’t waste time chasing someone who wasn’t biting.
You were wrong, obviously.
✧✧✧
Utahime wasn’t sure what annoyed her more—the fact that Gojo had somehow gotten into her French class halfway through the semester, or the fact that he kept insisting it was fate. Not like “divine intervention” fate. More like “we made eye contact one time outside the dining hall and now we have to get married” fate. Which, for Gojo Satoru, was probably the same thing.
Today, he’d positioned himself at the desk next to hers with all the subtlety of a hurricane. Notebook open, sleeve rolled up just enough to show the faint tan line from a friendship bracelet someone had clearly made for him. Probably Utahime’s roommate. Or her professor. Or both.
“Je veux du café,” he said smoothly, pencil twirling between his fingers. “I want coffee. Which I do. Right now. With you.”
Utahime stared at him. “I want a lobotomy.”
Gojo grinned. “How do you say that in French?”
She didn’t answer. Mostly because she didn’t know, and partly because answering would be giving him exactly what he wanted—attention, reaction, eye contact that lingered a second too long.
Which she gave him anyway.
Because she was weak. And he was pretty. And she hated that about herself.
“I cry during movies,” Gojo added, like that would help. “And I recycle. I’m, like, morally irresistible.”
Before she could threaten him with physical harm, Naoya dropped into the seat on her other side like a glitch in the matrix. She hadn’t even seen him come in.
“Utahime,” he said, voice dipped in manufactured charm, “you’re looking…”
“Don’t,” she cut in. “Don’t finish that sentence.”
He smirked. “Feisty.”
Gojo leaned back in his seat, letting his arm drape casually behind Utahime’s chair. “We’re doing adjectives now? I can play. She’s radiant. Intelligent. Dangerously under-caffeinated.”
Naoya scowled at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be gay?”
Gojo’s grin sharpened. “I’m supposed to be a lot of things.”
Utahime sighed, grabbing her books. “I’m getting coffee.”
“Alone or fake-alone?” Gojo asked, already rising with her.
“You’re following me.”
“I’m practising immersion.”
Naoya frowned. “I could come, too.”
Utahime didn’t answer. She just walked off with Gojo trailing behind her like a heatwave. Naoya watched them leave, something bitter flickering behind his eyes.
Across the room, Geto—Gojo’s longtime friend and reluctant enabler—looked up from his sandwich.
“You’re losing,” he said helpfully.
Naoya turned to him. “Who even are you?”
Geto shrugged. “A prophet, apparently.”
And then he went back to eating like nothing had happened.
✧✧✧
You’d always hated group work. It was academic Tinder—awkward pairings, fake small talk, and someone inevitably doing all the work while the other coasted on vibes and a vaguely tragic backstory. You’d perfected the art of preemptively claiming a seat at the edge of the classroom, angled just far enough to be left out of any “everyone find a partner!” moments.
So when Professor Yaga said, “Pair off for today’s workshop,” you didn’t even flinch. You just opened your notebook and waited for some poor idiot to make eye contact with you long enough to get guilted into joining.
What you did not expect was Sukuna Ryomen to slide into the chair next to you like he’d been assigned to you by the devil himself.
“You’re late,” you said flatly, not looking up.
He shrugged. “I’m unpredictable.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And yet,” he said, folding his arms behind his head, “here I am. Partnered with you. Fate’s weird like that.”
You didn’t reply. If you didn’t give him attention, maybe he’d get bored and go haunt someone else.
No such luck.
Sukuna leaned over like he was actually going to read your notes, which would’ve been hilarious if it weren’t also extremely annoying. “So… what are we doing?”
You side-eyed him. “I’m doing the assignment. You’re vibing.”
He grinned. “I like your handwriting.”
“Thanks. I use it exclusively to write insults.”
“Write one for me.”
You turned to him, finally, incredulous. “You want me to insult you?”
“Sure. Most people just talk behind my back.”
You blinked. For half a second, you caught something real in his voice. But then he smiled again, lazy and crooked, like he’d flipped a switch and gone back to whatever version of himself he thought you wanted to see.
You looked away. “I don’t know what your deal is,” you said. “But it’s not working.”
“What’s not working?”
“This.” You gestured vaguely. “The whole dark-and-mysterious routine. The sudden interest in me. The flirting that’s somehow also condescending. Whatever game you’re playing—it’s boring.”
Sukuna was quiet for a beat too long. Then: “Damn. Tell me how you really feel.”
You turned back to your notes. “I did.”
He didn’t say anything for the rest of the class. Didn’t lean in. Didn’t smirk. Just sat there, too still. Too quiet. Like maybe—for once—you’d actually surprised him.
And you told yourself that was the end of it. That you’d won. That this weird little game had finally hit a wall he couldn’t smooth-talk his way around.
But later that day, when you opened your locker, there was a Post-it stuck inside. Black ink. Slanted handwriting.
“I’m not flirting. I just like the way you look when you hate me.” —S.R.
You crumpled it and threw it away.
Then stood there for another twenty seconds, staring at the empty space where it had been.
✧✧✧
You were already regretting everything by the time you got to the front steps of the frat house. The music was so loud it vibrated through your shoes, some bastard remix of a pop song you didn’t recognise, drowning out your thoughts. You tugged at your sleeves, scowled at the flashing lights, and turned toward Utahime. “We’re not staying long.”
She rolled her eyes. “You say that like I didn’t blackmail you into coming.”
“I’m still not sure how you did that.”
“I know what happened in freshman year with that T.A.,” she said sweetly. “And I still have the screenshots.”
You glared. “You are the worst.”
“And yet,” she smiled, “you’re here.”
The house was packed. Someone was already puking into the hedge. Inside, it smelled like cheap beer, weed, and something tragically floral—like a Bath & Body Works exploded. You manoeuvred your way through the crowd, ignoring every attempt at conversation, every accidental brush of arms. You were just here to babysit. To make sure Utahime didn’t end up locked in a bathroom crying because Naoya said something gross about astrology.
And of course Naoya was here. Centre of attention, glittering in that way only rich, boring people knew how to do. He spotted Utahime instantly and made a beeline for her, offering a drink and a smirk that probably worked on freshmen with low standards.
You watched from the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, mood already circling the drain. And that’s when you felt it—his presence. Like a shift in pressure, a temperature drop, the back of your neck prickling for no good reason.
Sukuna.
Leaning against the hallway wall, red solo cup dangling from his fingers, eyes on you. Not on the party. Not on the crowd. You.
He didn’t wave. Didn’t smile. Just watched you like he was waiting for something. You looked away fast, heart doing something stupid in your chest. You hated that he got under your skin so easily. Hated even more that he knew it.
Time blurred. The music got louder. You ended up with a drink you didn’t ask for and downed it faster than necessary. It burned. You didn’t care.
Another cup. Another burn.
And then—somewhere between your third drink and Utahime yelling “YOLO is dead, stop saying that” at Naoya—you found yourself in the living room, lights flashing, bodies moving around you like smoke, and someone yelling for you to “get on the table if you’re hot.”
You didn’t remember climbing up. Didn’t remember deciding that dancing was a good idea. All you remembered was the heat in your face, the weightlessness in your limbs, and the absolutely feral look Sukuna gave you from across the room.
His expression didn’t change, but his posture did. He stood straighter. The cup disappeared from his hand. His eyes followed you like you were a threat he wanted to keep close.
You moved to the music, loose and loud and lit up with the kind of recklessness you usually buried under sarcasm and disdain. People were cheering. Someone whistled. You didn’t care.
Sukuna was at the base of the table now. Right below you. Watching. Waiting.
You dropped into a crouch, leaned forward, close enough to speak into his ear if you wanted to.
You didn’t.
But you almost did.
Instead, you held his gaze for one beat too long. The kind of look that felt like a dare.
You jumped down off the table, blood hot and your head swimming with smoke and sugar. The crowd swallowed you whole, but your eyes found him instantly, leaning against the wall like he owned it, red cup in hand, lip caught between his teeth.
Sukuna.
His eyes were locked on you. Sharp. Starved.
You didn’t even think—just pushed through the bodies, grabbed his shirt, and muttered something like “upstairs, now.”
He followed.
Didn’t say a word. Just pressed a hand to your lower back and let you drag him through the chaos, up the stairs, into the nearest room with a door you could slam shut behind you.
The lock clicked.
And then your mouth was on his.
It was messy, clumsy at first, all teeth and breath and too many hands trying to touch at once. He groaned into the kiss when you pushed him up against the wall, his fingers tightening on your hips like he’d been waiting for this all damn semester.
Your shirt came off first. His followed. Then yours again, because he wanted to see. Touch. Explore the heat under your skin and the way your breath hitched when his mouth dragged down your throat.
“Fuck,” he whispered, against your collarbone, like you were something sacred and ruined all at once.
You backed toward the bed, pulling him with you. Fell into the mattress, legs tangled, teeth clashing, laughing into his mouth when he groaned your name like it hurt.
When he settled between your thighs, grinding down just hard enough to make your spine arch, you gasped. Grabbed at him. Let your head fall back with a choked sound you didn’t mean to let slip.
“Still hate me?” he asked, breath hot against your jaw.
“Shut the fuck up,” you muttered, pulling him closer.
You didn’t stop touching him. Didn’t stop moving. Your bodies slid together like they’d done this before—like they needed it. Your fingers digging into his back. His mouth on your throat, your chest, your stomach. The way he kissed you after every gasp—like he wanted to savour it. Make sure you never forgot.
And you wouldn’t.
Not the way he whispered your name right before you came. Not the way he held your face when you did. Not the way he kissed you after, slow and reverent, like he hadn’t just destroyed you.
You lay there in silence, bodies warm and wrecked and too tangled to pretend it meant nothing.
And you knew, even then: This wasn’t just a party hookup.
This was the moment you’d remember tomorrow—when it all came crashing down.
✧✧✧
You woke up with the kind of hangover that made you question every life decision from age seven onward. Your mouth tasted like regret. Your head pulsed like there was a rave happening behind your eyes. You blinked at the ceiling for a full minute before sitting up and immediately regretting that too.
Your phone had five missed texts from Utahime, two from unknown numbers, and one photo you had to squint at to realise was you, on a table, mid-dance. Shirt ridden up. Face flushed. Sukuna—barely in frame—standing below, half-shadowed, looking up at you like you were some kind of puzzle he was deciding not to solve.
You deleted the photo. Then deleted the delete.
You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. People danced at parties. People got drunk. People flirted with dangerous men and almost fucked them in front of fifty witnesses. It was fine.
You were halfway across the quad, hoodie up, headphones in with no music playing, when you saw him again.
Sukuna.
Sitting under one of the older trees near the main lecture hall, legs stretched out, notebook open on one knee. Writing. Or pretending to. His eyes flicked up the moment you got close.
“Morning,” he said, like nothing had happened. No sarcasm. No smirk. Just… the word.
You stopped. Against your better judgment. “Are you stalking me?”
He shrugged. “I was here first.”
“You’re always ‘here first.’ That’s weird.”
He didn’t look at you when he answered. Just kept flipping the stupid lighter in his hand like it might say something for him. “Or maybe,” he said, calm as anything, “we just hang out in the same places.”
You snorted. “We don’t hang out.”
“Tell that to the version of you dancing on the kitchen table last night.”
Your stomach turned. Too fast. Too hard. Like it had been waiting for that line, and now it didn’t know what to do with it.
“You’re not funny,” you said. Too sharp. Too flat.
“I’m kind of hilarious, actually.”
But he didn’t smile when he said it. Not really. He wasn’t doing that thing he usually did—leaning in too close, voice dipped just low enough to make you feel it. He wasn’t smirking. Wasn’t pushing. He just looked tired. Quiet. Like he was standing on the other side of something you couldn’t see yet.
You folded your arms across your chest. “I don’t remember much,” you said. Which wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the truth either.
He nodded once. No judgment. No sarcasm. Just—“Cool. Then we’ll say nothing happened.”
That landed harder than it should have. You blinked. “You’re not gonna be annoying about it?”
“Nope.”
And he meant it. That was the worst part. No smug grin. No smug anything. He was offering you an out. A clean break. Like he’d already accepted whatever version of this you were willing to give him.
You scoffed, because it felt safer than silence. “Fine. Nothing happened.”
“Exactly.”
You turned to walk away. Fast. Too fast. Like you could outpace the heat still lingering on your skin or the phantom feel of his hands on your waist.
But then, just as the door creaked behind you, you heard him say it.
Soft. Almost like he didn’t mean for you to hear it at all.
“But it could’ve.”
You didn’t stop.
But you felt it.
All the way down.
✧✧✧
You were halfway up the metal bleachers when you realised something was off.
It was supposed to be a quiet practice. The field was open, sun bleeding through low clouds, a few students jogging the track, the campus radio playing somewhere in the background. You’d come out here to clear your head, not to be witnessed. Definitely not to be ambushed.
And yet.
The radio cut out mid-song. A pause. Then: feedback. And then—his voice.
“This is probably a bad idea,” said Sukuna, crackling through the speakers like an accidental god.
You froze.
“But you’re ignoring me, and I’m not built for being ignored. So here we are.”
Heads turned. The girl stretching two rows down looked up, confused. A guy on the field pointed toward the press box, where the campus radio station was housed.
You turned slowly.
There he was.
Sukuna, leaning into the mic, half-laughing, one arm resting on the desk like he owned the place. A little breathless. Hair pulled back. That same damn look in his eye.
“You don’t like me. I get it. You think I’m an asshole—which is fair. But you also think I don’t notice things. That I’m not paying attention. And you’re wrong.”
You felt your heartbeat in your teeth.
“You always start your notes on the bottom line of the page. You mouth the words when you read. You don’t laugh out loud unless it’s mean or unexpected. You’re mean when you’re scared. You’re scared when you like someone.”
You were going to kill him.
Not immediately. Not in front of witnesses. But soon.
“So if you’re listening—and I know you are—just know this: I’m not asking for anything. I’m just saying I see you. And I’m still here.”
Then static. Silence. Someone started clapping. A few others joined. The moment cracked open like a dropped plate.
You stood up.
Walked down the bleachers.
And made sure not to look at anyone until you were off the field and back inside.
You didn’t text him.
But that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his voice had sounded through the speaker.
A little unsure.
A little real.
Too real.
✧✧✧
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you muttered, climbing into the passenger seat of his beat-up car.
“Sure you can,” Sukuna said, sliding into the driver’s side like this wasn’t the biggest win of his month. “You’re dying to hang out with me.”
“I’m skipping class, not confessing my feelings.”
“Same thing,” he smirked, revving the engine.
You rolled your eyes and refused to smile.
He didn’t tell you where you were going, but you didn’t ask. You just watched the trees blur past the window and tried not to think about how your chest still ached from hearing his voice on the radio yesterday. Or how he hadn’t pushed you afterwards. No smug comments. No, “so, you like me now?” Just a nod across the quad, like he knew what he’d done and wasn’t going to ruin it.
And then, suddenly—you were here.
It was an abandoned paintball park just off the edge of campus, tucked behind a shuttered rec centre and a forest that hadn’t been trimmed in years. Half the inflatables were sun-bleached. The other half looked like they were waiting to be condemned. It was perfect.
“Is this trespassing?” you asked.
He looked at you. “Do you care?”
“No.”
“Good.”
He pulled two masks and a backpack full of old paintball gear from the trunk and tossed you one.
“Winner gets to ask one question,” he said, already loading his gun.
“What if I win?”
“You won’t.”
You hit him first. Right in the ribs. Yellow paint exploded across his hoodie, and he staggered back, laughing—really laughing—and called you a bitch through the mask. You didn’t stop grinning for ten whole seconds.
It went like that for a while. Running. Hiding. Hitting each other with sharp, wet bursts of colour. At one point, you tripped and rolled behind a bunker, breathing hard. Sukuna slid in after you, tackled you with just enough force to knock the wind out of your lungs, and pinned you there.
You froze.
Paint smeared between you. His mask was off now. So was yours. His eyes were close, wild and bright. His breath hit your face in fast bursts.
Neither of you said anything.
Then—just like that—he kissed you.
Quick. Hard. Like he hadn’t meant to do it until it was already happening.
You didn’t stop him.
You kissed him back.
Your hands fisted in his hoodie, and his mouth tilted against yours, hungry, like he’d been waiting for this moment since the second you told him to fuck off during class that first week.
When he finally pulled away, he looked wrecked. Not from the game. From you.
You swallowed. “I still hate you.”
He grinned. “Sure you do.”
And then he kissed you again.
✧✧✧
It was supposed to be a quick stop. Sukuna had followed you downtown because you wanted “real food, not vending machine garbage,” and somehow that turned into ducking into a cramped little music shop just off the main strip. Guitars lined the walls like trophies, faded band posters tacked behind the counter. The whole place smelled like old wood and warm metal.
You didn’t say anything when you picked one up.
Just grabbed the pair of beat-up studio headphones from the display, plugged in, and sat down on the little stool in the back.
Sukuna watched from a distance, pretending to be interested in a rack of bass picks. But his eyes kept sliding back to you.
The way your fingers moved—confident, casual, muscle memory kicking in like it had never left. Your eyes were half-lidded, head tilted just slightly, as you plucked out something low and slow. Not a song he recognised. Maybe not even a full melody. Just sound. Easy. Yours.
You looked so fucking calm.
So quietly happy.
When you noticed him watching, you smirked and pulled the headphones off.
“Didn’t peg you as the lingering type,” you said.
“Didn’t peg you as the secretly talented type,” he shot back.
You shrugged. “Used to play. Can’t afford one anymore. Not like I’d have time anyway.”
Then you set the guitar back on the wall, careful, like it mattered.
And walked out like none of it had meant anything.
Sukuna stayed behind a second longer.
Long enough to memorise the make. The colour. The way your eyes had gone soft when you played.
He didn’t say anything about it then.
But he remembered.
✧✧✧
Naoya wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t stupid either.
And something was definitely going on.
He watched them from across the quad—Utahime, Gojo, and that stupid little spiral of tension they tried to play off as banter. Gojo leaning in just a bit too close, Utahime swatting him away, but never really moving. Her eyes lingered. His hands were always busy—spinning a pen, adjusting his sunglasses, reaching for a piece of her attention like it was second nature.
They weren’t dating. Not officially. But it was obvious. Everyone could feel it.
And it pissed Naoya off more than he cared to admit.
He’d asked Utahime to prom in the most low-effort way possible—half a smile and a “You’re free Saturday, right?” by the vending machines. She’d paused for a second, then shrugged. “Sure.” No exclamation point. No heart emoji. Just sure.
Still, he considered it a win. Until later that week, when he overheard Gojo asking her what colour she was wearing so he could “match his tie to her aura.” And the worst part? She laughed. Laughed. The kind of laugh you didn’t fake for social survival. The kind that lived in your throat when someone actually got under your skin—in a good way.
Naoya stared from a distance, fuming silently as Gojo offered Utahime a bite of whatever overpriced pastry he was eating. She took it. Didn’t even hesitate.
That’s when it hit him.
Gojo didn’t care about prom. He cared about winning.
And Utahime? She wasn’t even pretending anymore. Not even a little.
Naoya didn’t say anything. Just watched them walk off, their shadows overlapping on the pavement.
He had a date to the prom.
But he was starting to wonder if he was the only one who didn’t know it was a joke.
✧✧✧
You didn’t expect him to ask.
You’d already decided you weren’t going. Told Utahime you hated crowds, loud music, the idea of putting effort into something that would end with people puking in bushes and fake glitter in your underwear. She didn’t believe you, but she knew better than to push.
And then Sukuna showed up.
At your dorm door. Leaning against the frame like he hadn’t just jogged up four flights of stairs, hair a little messy, a half-wrinkle in his shirt like he’d slept in it and didn’t care. Like always.
“You going to prom?” he asked.
You blinked. “Why?”
He shrugged, eyes scanning your face like he was trying to read a language he hadn’t studied enough. “Figured if I have to suffer through a school event, you should too.”
You scoffed. “Is this your version of asking nicely?”
“It’s my version of asking at all.”
You should’ve said no.
Should’ve shut the door in his face, curled up in bed, and watched something violent while pretending you didn’t care. But the problem was—you did. And the way he was looking at you? Not smug. Not teasing. Just… waiting.
So you said yes.
Quietly. Grudgingly.
And two days later, he picked you up for suit shopping like this was just a thing you did now. Like the two of you had rules. Traditions. Somewhere between enemies and not-quite-lovers.
The shop was tucked behind a row of old bookstores, with mirrors that made you look taller and music that felt like static. You tried on three suits before settling on one that didn’t make you want to punch yourself. Sukuna lounged in the corner chair the whole time, pretending not to watch you adjust the collar, the cuffs, the shoulders.
“You clean up,” he said eventually, like it was a fact. Like it didn’t mean anything.
“You’re staring,” you replied.
He smiled. “Can you blame me?”
You didn’t answer. Just turned back to the mirror, trying not to imagine his hands on your waist again. Trying not to remember the way he kissed you behind that bunker, like he didn’t care who saw. Like he’d been waiting to do it since day one.
Later, you sat cross-legged on your bed while Utahime painted a line of dark eyeliner under your lashes. Her fingers were steady. She didn’t ask you anything, didn’t tease you about your date or your nerves. Just hummed under her breath, like this was something she knew you needed.
Gojo texted her mid-mascara. Something about his tie.
She smiled when she read it. Soft. The kind of smile you used to wear around people you didn’t think could hurt you.
And for the first time in weeks, your stomach sank.
Something about all of this felt too good. Too smooth.
And when things felt this good, something always broke.
✧✧✧
The gym didn’t look like a gym. Not tonight.
String lights dripped from the rafters like stars trying too hard. The floor had been covered in some kind of black satin tarp, and the punch had actual fruit in it, which meant some overworked student council member was probably passed out backstage from exhaustion.
You stood in the doorway, fingers curling into the cuffs of your sleeves, breath caught somewhere between dread and disbelief.
And then you saw him.
Sukuna.
Leaning against the back wall in a suit that looked criminal on him. Shirt half-open. Tie loose. Hair swept back like he’d tried, then gave up halfway. He looked bored. Dangerous. Stupidly hot.
But the second his eyes found you, he stared. Like you were gravity.
“Damn,” he said when you reached him, voice a little rough. “You clean up scary good.”
“You look like you lost a bet with fashion,” you shot back, but your voice was softer than usual.
His grin cracked something in your chest.
You danced. Eventually. Not because you wanted to, but because the song was slow and the room had started to spin, and Sukuna held out his hand like it wasn’t a question. His palm was warm. His fingers were steady. One hand on your waist, one on your wrist, like he was grounding you and holding you hostage all at once.
“I don’t do this,” you murmured.
“Dance?”
“Let people in.”
His grip tightened just a little. “Maybe you should.”
You didn’t pull away.
Across the room, Utahime was laughing at something Gojo said, a crumpled corsage in her hand. Gojo looked so smug that you wanted to throw something, but she looked happy. Like… happy.
Then Naoya showed up.
Lurking on the edge of the crowd like a shadow that hadn’t been invited. Eyes sharp. Smile sharper.
You felt it before you saw him approach—Sukuna going tense, his posture shifting just slightly, like he’d spotted a crack in the floor and knew what was coming.
Naoya didn’t say hello.
Didn’t greet you.
Just looked at Sukuna and said, loudly enough to turn heads:
“So, how’s it feel? Winning the bet?”
The music didn’t stop. But everything else did.
You blinked. “What bet?”
Naoya’s smile widened. “Oh, you didn’t tell him? Thought that was part of the game.”
You looked at Sukuna.
He didn’t answer.
Didn’t deny it.
Just stood there. Still. Silent.
And that—that—was all it took.
You stepped back. Out of his reach. Out of his orbit.
He tried to speak—tried to explain—but you were already walking away, mouth dry, vision tunnelling.
Utahime caught up to you in the hallway. “What happened?”
And then behind you: a smack.
Loud. Sharp. Clean.
You turned just in time to see Utahime’s hand drop from Naoya’s face.
“Don’t ever talk to me again,” she said.
Naoya stood there, stunned, cheek blooming red.
Gojo looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh.
And Sukuna? He was still in the doorway. Still staring after you. Still not moving.
Like maybe if he stayed still long enough, you’d turn around.
You didn’t.
✧✧✧
You stopped answering texts.
Not just Sukuna’s. Everyone’s. Utahime. Gojo. That one guy from chem who always sent you TikToks you never watched. Your phone became a thing that buzzed and blinked and begged for attention, and you left it facedown every time. Like ignoring it could make everything disappear.
The campus felt smaller after that night.
Every hallway echoed. Every classroom felt like a spotlight. Every glance from people who’d heard about the scene at prom—because of course they had—made your skin itch.
And Sukuna?
He didn’t vanish. That would’ve been easier. Instead, he showed up.
Everywhere.
Leaning against the locker outside your lecture hall. Sitting on the bench across from your favourite coffee place. Lingering by the library entrance like he didn’t know where else to go.
Sometimes, he tried to talk.
Not loudly. Not the way he used to. He didn’t yell or chase or beg. Just stood there, voice low, hands in his pockets, eyes rimmed red like he hadn’t slept in days.
“I didn’t think it would matter,” he’d said once. “Until it did.”
You didn’t respond.
Another time: “It wasn’t about the bet. Not after I got to know you. I swear to god.”
You walked away before he finished.
He never pushed. Never grabbed your wrist or blocked your path or made a scene.
And that, somehow, was worse.
Because he meant it.
Because if he’d laughed in your face, you could’ve hated him clean. Sharp. Easy.
But he stood there instead—like he’d been gutted. Like you were the one who’d broken him.
It would’ve been poetic if it hadn’t hurt so much.
The worst part was: you missed him.
You missed the stupid smirk. The way he leaned too close when you talked, like he couldn’t hear you unless you were touching. You missed the quiet moments. The half-finished thoughts. The way he said your name, like it was something earned.
But every time you remembered the gym lights, Naoya’s voice, and the way Sukuna didn’t deny it, you wanted to scream.
So you didn’t say anything.
You didn’t say anything.
And Sukuna stood in your silence like it was a cage he built himself.
✧✧✧
Sukuna had never really been afraid of silence. He’d lived in it, grown up in it, learned to weaponise it. But this? This wasn’t silence. This was absence.
A blank space where laughter used to live.
No more text messages with half-spelt insults. No more boots scuffing the tile next to his. No more eyes burning into the side of his face when he said something stupid just to get a reaction.
It was like he’d imagined the whole thing.
And he was losing his mind because of it.
He hadn’t been eating. Barely sleeping. His classes were background noise, the campus a grayscale blur he wandered through in a haze. Every corner reminded him of something. A smirk. A comment. That look—the one from the paintball park, all flushed cheeks and fire.
Gone.
He was in the quad when they found him.
Gojo and Geto. The human embodiment of chaos and judgment. The worst tag team in existence.
“You look like shit,” Gojo said, flopping down next to him on the bench. “Like, more than usual.”
“Thanks,” Sukuna muttered.
Geto sat on the other side. Calm. Calculated. “So. You ruined it.”
Sukuna didn’t answer.
Gojo leaned forward, elbows on knees. “I’m just trying to understand how you managed to fumble that hard. Was the bet worth it? Huh?”
“It wasn’t like that,” Sukuna said, voice low. “Not really.”
“But it was, at first,” Geto said, no venom—just facts.
Sukuna stared at the ground.
Gojo exhaled sharply. “Look. I don’t care how it started. I care that you meant it by the end. And that you let him walk away without a fight.”
“What do you want me to do?” Sukuna snapped. “I already told him it wasn’t about the bet. I told him I was sorry. He doesn’t want to hear it.”
“Of course he doesn’t,” Gojo said. “Not yet.”
“So what then? I keep showing up and making an idiot of myself until he forgives me?”
“Maybe,” Geto said. “Or maybe you show him something real. Something that proves it wasn’t just a game to you.”
Sukuna scoffed. “Like what? A fucking song? A love letter?”
Gojo grinned. “Oh my god. Please write him a love letter. I’ll frame it.”
“Be serious.”
“I am,” Gojo said. “You’re in love with him, Sukuna. Do something about it before it’s too late.”
That shut him up.
Because it was the truth.
He was. He was in love.
And he was going to lose you for good if he didn’t stop sulking and start trying.
✧✧✧
The assignment was simple: write a poem. Present it aloud. Be vulnerable. The professor’s words, not yours.
You weren’t going to do it.
But then you sat up the night before, fingers clenched around a pen, and the words came out like teeth.
So now you're standing here.
In front of half the class, with Sukuna sitting somewhere behind you, quiet for once, his presence like static behind your ribs.
You clear your throat.
Your hands don’t shake.
But your voice does.
“I hate the way you look at me,” you begin, tone flat, eyes locked just above everyone’s heads. “Like you’re already in on the joke. Like I’m something you’re about to ruin.”
Someone chuckles. You don’t stop.
“I hate the way you laugh when you’re nervous. Hate how it still sounds good anyway. I hate that I notice that.”
You breathe through your nose.
Don’t look at him.
“I hate the way you sit next to me like we’re not still pretending. I hate that you said it wasn’t about the bet. I hate that I believed you.”
The room is quiet now.
No laughter. No shifting chairs.
Just silence.
You swallow.
“I hate that I miss you when I shouldn't. I hate how you looked at me that night, like I meant something. I hate the paint on my old hoodie because it still smells like you. I hate that I can’t forget you. I hate that I don’t want to.”
Your voice catches.
You let it.
“I hate that I still look for you in crowds. I hate that I still love you.”
You fold the paper. Calm. Controlled.
And walk back to your seat without looking up—without looking at him.
Because if you did?
You might not survive it.
✧✧✧
A guitar was sitting in your passenger seat like it had always belonged there.
You stared at it through the open car door, heart pounding so hard it hurt. Your mouth was dry. Your hands were shaking. You didn’t know whether to scream or cry or smash it over someone's head, and honestly? That was on brand.
“Hey.”
You turned fast, shoulders tense.
Sukuna was standing a few feet behind you. Hoodie pulled over his head. Eyes soft. Like he’d been waiting hours to catch you alone.
“You broke into my car?” you said, because of course that’s what you said.
He lifted both hands in mock surrender. “Spare key. Utahime gave it to me. Under threat of bodily harm, for the record.”
You looked back at the guitar. Then at him.
“I meant it,” he said, before you could fire another round. “What I said. What I didn’t say. I was a dumbass. You know that already. But I meant everything. Every second.”
You exhaled, slow and shaky.
“I hate you,” you said, and you weren’t sure if it was true or not anymore.
“I know.”
“I still hate you.”
He stepped closer.
“I still want you.”
You didn’t think. You just moved.
Your hand fisted in the collar of his hoodie, yanked him forward, and kissed him like you were trying to kill the version of yourself that ever gave a shit about pride.
It was messy. Breathless. A little desperate. The kind of kiss that made up for all the ones you’d missed and then some.
He kissed you back like his life depended on it.
Like he’d been waiting.
When you finally pulled away, both of you dazed and a little stunned, he whispered, “Does this mean I can ride shotgun?”
You rolled your eyes. “Only if you shut the hell up.”
He grinned.
You tossed your bag in the back seat, slammed the door shut, and jerked your chin toward the car.
“Get in, asshole.”
He did.
And this time, he didn’t stop smiling.

© carnalcrows on tumblr. Please do not steal my works as I spend time, and I take genuine effort to do them.
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BAD RATTITUDE
“So in every individual the two trends, one towards personal happiness and the other unity with the rest of humanity, must contend with each other.” —Sigmund Freud This drawing is based on one I made decades ago. I called that one “Rat With a Bad Attitude.” It was an ink-on-paper sketch of a rat with half a box, only three sides, strapped to its rear end. A corner, you could say, so the drawing…

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#bad attitude#behaviorism#cubicle farm#lab rats#life#life liberty and the pursuit of happiness#neuroses#operant conditioning#rats#science#skinner#work from home
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