#learning. observing. every day my mind expands | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

milfgyuu · 2 years ago

Text

Lessons in Love Pairing: Choi Jongho x Fem!Reader Series: Mr. Right Next Door Tags: 3.5k, Co-Worker!AU, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor Warnings: One good smooch and mentions of more smooching. Summary: Your students learn that both you and the teacher next door are single which brings up the pressing matter of getting you two together. Immediately.

You love teaching your fourth-grade class - they are still sweet and inquisitive. Still learning how the world works and all its wonders. They’ve yet to outgrow their innocence and kindness. It’s a beautiful age to experience with an adult perspective and even more amazing that you’re allowed a hand in growing their ever-expanding knowledge and shaping their character.

One thing you hadn’t considered was their surprisingly persistent interest in your lack of a love life.

It had begun at the start of the year when you were getting to know your students and in turn, allowed them to get to know you as well. The kids had so many questions. Did you have a dog? A cat? A house? An apartment? Did you live with your parents? Can you drive a car? Are you married?

It was the answer to the last question that had struck them the most for some reason. You were a grown up but you weren’t married. In their minds, being married is just part of being a grown up so why were you single? What does being single even mean? Do you not know anyone to marry?

A simple introduction had turned into the great inquisition and with wide eyes and a nervous chuckle, you had to re-direct them to the only other interesting topic you could think of.

Recess.

Those clever little things hadn’t forgotten about the lack of a band on your left hand though and made it a point to bring it up every few weeks. Did you go on any dates this weekend? What kind of person would you like to date? If you have lunch with someone every day could that be counted as a date?

Admittedly, you fumbled through those.

You hadn’t realized that you might regret the way in which you answered them because it seems your ever-observant children have been spying you in the cafeteria with the teacher next door whom they’ve also learned is single.

“So, do you like Mr. Choi? You guys always have lunch together!”

“Yeah! And you guys are always smiling and laughing together!”

“And Mr. Choi brings you coffee!”

“My friend in Mr. Choi’s class said that he is single too!”

“Mr. Choi said you had pretty hair!”

“Mr. Choi has really shiny hair too so your kids would have nice hair!”

Left and right the children pelted you with words you had stopped comprehending after the first mention of ‘Mr. Choi’.

Oh boy.

Mr. Choi is your next-door neighbor at school. His classroom is actually attached to yours by a shared storage room and you suppose you do spend quite a bit of time together in front of the students but that’s only natural - you spend just as much time with the other fourth grade teachers.

Well, maybe not the exact same amount of time. You’re usually on lunch and recess patrols together. You always get paired up to chaperone field trips and tend to volunteer for many of the same events like dances and fundraisers.

If you had to really stop and think about it, Jongho was quite handsome. Broad shoulders, pretty smile, kind eyes. His surprisingly dry sense of humor did always make you laugh and he always leaves a coffee on your desk when he notices you’re running late since he is a chronic early riser.

Again, you manage to calm the children and their increasing pitch - your eyes darting to the adjoining door between you and Jongho’s classrooms.

It doesn’t end there, unfortunately, for you and your white blouse, exactly four days later.

“Imagine the fallout if the kids found out we went on a real date…”

Your mouthful of juice sputters and dribbles down your chin before staining the silk of your top with bright red liquid.

Jongho’s mouth straightens into a flat line and he hands you several napkins to dab at your ruined mess. “That doesn’t hurt my feelings at all.”

Leveling him with a peeved look you sigh, “It’s not like that,” and glance back down at your blouse, “You just caught me off guard at the worst possible moment.”

Neither of you are on lunch duties today so you’re sat across from each other at a craft table in the corner of your empty classroom. Little paper chains rustle in the crisp air pumping from the school’s icy vents and you’re grateful for them in the moment since they make you keep a long grey cardigan hung over the back of your chair at all times.

You push back and ignore the sound of your knees popping when you stand to full height. Pinching the material of your shirt you tug at it rapidly as if you have some hope of at least drying the wet spots and speak openly to Jongho who is still diligently picking apart his salad from the cafeteria.

“I can’t believe they’re all so invested,” you comment before rolling your eyes, “Little gossips.”

Jongho snorts. “I’m surprised that you’re surprised. They love ‘spilling the tea’,” he says with an added flair that tells you it’s something he’s picked up from his students, “Whatever that means.”

“Look at you using the lingo,” you chuckle as you sit back down, “And what ‘real date’? Last I checked cafeteria lunch didn’t count. Thought you’d be more of a romantic, Mr. Choi.”

You’re smirking with mirth until Jongho decides to match your teasing, hooking his foot behind the leg of your chair to haul you closer to the table. You squeak in shock at the jolting motion and he laughs, stabbing another bit of cucumber and moving on like you’re not internally marveling at his flippant show of strength.

His thighs are kind of thick and firm you suppose if you think about it.

Which you’re not.

That would be weird.

“What?”

You say it so hastily that Jongho looks at you like you’re losing it and laughs. “I didn’t say anything.”

Oh, so it was because you are crazy.

Embarrassed you shove too much of your sub in your mouth, awkwardly and probably repulsively chewing to manage the gargantuan bite. The sound masks that of the napkin sliding across the table under one of Jongho’s fingers. You look up at him and he just pinches his lips together like he’s sure you don’t want to hear anything he might have to say about the mess on your face.

After the driest most excruciating swallow you’ve experienced to date, you attempt to wash it down with your water in your stupidly expensive bottle and nothing comes out. Pathetically, you whine and try to pry it open. There is a mechanism on the inside of the lid that keeps jamming and you really could use a new one but they’re pricey and you’re living on a teaching salary and a prayer.

“Let me help,” he says, pushing back in his little chair to rub his hands over his jeans like he’s preparing to empty his full strength into the effort to open your bottle but when it gives without so much as a pause he snickers and shrugs handing it back over to you. “Not really much of an opportunity to show off.”

You gawk at him. “What are you talking about? That thing was like welded shut!”

Jongho’s brows playfully rise until they’re high enough to hide beneath his fringe and the overwhelming urge to giggle and playfully swat at him nearly swallows you whole. He is so flirting with you.

Openly.

And you’re tripping all over yourself with glee.

Like any free moment in your school day, it comes to an end far too quickly and your classes are due to arrive in less than five minutes to continue instruction. Ignoring the butterflies in your belly, you take both your trash and Jongho’s to dispose of while he straightens up the table and then it’s time for him to head back to his own room and yet…you both awkwardly linger by the door instead.

“We should-”

“Maybe we-”

Embarrassingly enough, you open your mouths at the same time and talk over each other but you know you do not want to finish your own sentence and Jongho rocks back on his heels knowing he’s got a solid sixty seconds before little voices trail down the hall toward the door.

He takes a deep breath and says your name which is so odd because has he ever said your first name? Surely, he has…so why does it sound different now?

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

It comes out in a bit of a rush and he tacks on a “please” after a second thought and you nod because words don’t seem to form and you’re just stupidly staring back at him but…yes…you would like that. A lot.

Jongho blinks as if he’s shocked that you actually said yes…or well, gestured, that yes you wanted to have dinner together. He hadn’t even planned to ask. He’s not sure when the idea sprouted in his head but once it bubbled up and up and up he just had to let it out.

Now he has to plan the perfect date in less than five hours which means…

He grins and throws his hand up, thumb pointed toward the door behind you. “Gotta meet the kids…How’s seven o’clock? My place? I’ll cook.”

Still nodding, you manage to say something at last, “Yeah…yes. That’s…fine.”

“Okay.”

He slips out the door and you let out a long laughter-filled breath. With your room still empty, no one catches you twirling all the way back to your desk before you flop down into your chair. Well, it’s possible one person saw you since your door bursts open right after and you’re jumping up and into an incredibly animated history lesson.

Meanwhile, Jongho is assembling his kids in a group huddle because they have a new assignment: Helping him decide what to cook.

Your hands shake down at your sides just after you ring Jongho’s doorbell.

Fingers dance along the skirts of your dress - one different than you’d wear in the classroom. Typically, you wear fun floral or artful prints with plants or planets. Things the kids love to talk about. This however is one you hope Jongho will think about, even after your gone. Even when he sees you in your overalls on Monday because your kids are working on art projects.

The door clicks open and there is Jongho in fitted black slacks and a loose white button-down smiling back at you. His hair is…fluffier than usual which is an odd distinction to latch onto but the combination of his hair and his clothing, the relaxed slope of his posture….you can’t seem to stop looking at him.

“You look different.”

Jongho chuckles. “You look the same,” he says and it jolts an incredulous laugh out of you, “I meant that to say I think you always look good but I see that sentiment isn’t shared.”

“Are you going to invite me inside or what, Mr. Choi?”

“Wouldn’t dream of sending you away in that dress,” he smarts, stepping aside to let you in, “Besides,” he closes the door behind you both, “You have to see what a romantic I truly am since you decided to tease me about it.”

A romantic indeed.

His home is crisp, clean, inviting, and it smells heavenly between the cooking he’s been doing and the candles lit throughout. Your eyes dart to little details along the walls and shelves as he guides you to the dining room - also set perfectly with flowers and more candles.

It’s not at all what you expected.

At work, Jongho is relatively quiet but you learned after a few meetings that he was rather charming and engaging. He likes sports and cars - kind of a man’s man. When you became closer, you realized he was chock-full of sarcasm and dry humor. You appreciated him for his company and the laughter that he supplied more than anything and that still stands true but this is a different side of him you haven’t really mapped out.

Hardly noticing that your feet have stopped moving, you’re surprised when you hear Jongho chuckle from your right. “How did I do?”

He almost sounds unsure of himself until you turn to him with a warm smile. “It’s really nice, Jongho.”

Just the sound of his name from your lips makes the tips of his ear tingle. “The kids said flowers and candles were the way to go.”

Taking your seats at the table, you agree. “The kids seem to know too much about romancing for their age.”

Jongho gestures to your glass with the bottle of red in his hands and fills your glass when you nod. “It’s a little admirable though,” he mentions, eyes glancing up to yours, “They have such a pure and simple definition of love. Everything is still so beautiful in their eyes so all they know is a happily ever after and I wish it would stay that way for them.”

“Oh, you’re such a softie.”

Jongho pokes his tongue into his cheek and grins, using his fork to point toward your plate, “Shut up and try the food.”

Again, not something you imagined Jongho would be good at but the food is delicious and there isn’t a takeout box in sight. He mentions something about not getting too excited because he only knows how to make a handful of meals on rotation but it’s still impressive. He also keeps you laughing and entertained throughout the meal, even with the prickles of ‘holy cow, this is a real date’ floating around in your head. It all feels so natural.

“So, you clean up nice, your house is immaculate, you can cook, you’re good with kids…” You twirl you wine, bellies full and plates empty as you sit across from one another, “What are you hiding, Mr. Choi? Where is the catch?”

He grins, crossing his thick arms over his chest. “No, catch. I’m perfect.”

“The catch is that you’re an awful smartass,” you chuckle before draining the last of you drink. “I suppose I already knew that though.”

“I suppose you do,” he returns, gathering the dishes to deposit in the sink for later - for now, he moves you both into the living room to relax on the couch and continue the conversation. “I am genuinely a ‘what you see is what you get’ kinda guy so I don’t know how much I’ll surprise you but ask the hard questions and I’ll answer them honestly. Anything you might want to know before we decide this is a good idea or just mutual attraction and peer pressure from ten-year-olds.”

Because you’re both adults, co-workers, and friends. It would be a waste to pursue a relationship you both want different things out of.

You purse your lips and think for a minute. “Dogs or cats?”

“Both,” he answers easily, “You?”

You tilt your chin in thought, “Both is good…I’m still in the ‘plant mom’ phase so I don’t have any pets but I’d like to. Any plans to relocate in the future?”

Jongho shrugs, “I’m not particularly attached one way or the other. The area here is pretty nice but there are lots of nice places.”

“You’re not overly picky, are you?”

He laughs. “No, not really. I’m pretty laid back.”

In the time you’ve known and worked with him, that tracks. You pivot in your seat, facing him a little more fully. “Oh, boy,” he jests, “Getting to the big stuff, huh?”

“Marriage…kids,” you state plainly, “Thoughts and feelings.”

Jongho rolls his shoulders. “I’m interested in both,” he says simply, though there is a tinge of hesitation like he’s waiting for your reaction, “My parents have been married for thirty years and are still very much in love so it’s probably given me a set of rose-colored glasses when it comes to long-term commitment but the idea of having ‘a person’...like “my person’ to share love and life with, to grow old together…that sounds good to me.”

You nod, chewing on his answer. “And kids? Singular? Plural?”

“Eight.”

You instinctively recoil. He’s playing with you, so you’ll play.

“Well, this has been great,” you pretend to stand up to leave, “See you Monday, frien-”

A funny little ‘oof!’ puffs from your lips when Jongho grabs your hand and pulls you back down onto the couch. It’s just a lucky coincidence you land much closer this time and when Jongho releases your hand, he keeps it close, almost hovering nearby like he’s aching to take it again.

“Yes, I would like kids and no, I don’t care how many. Even one is a blessing and I would be over the moon to be a dad,” his eyes twinkle and it kindles a little warmth in your chest, “You look all ooey-gooey right now. I think you like me.”

You give into the urge to swat him this time. Right in the chest.

Jongho loves it.

“I already like you,” you roll your eyes at yourself for admitting so out loud but it’s a bit obvious at this point and he’s teasing. “I’m not ready for all…that…just yet but I would agree we have enough in common to maybe…give this a try?”

You don’t mean for it to sound so unsure but you haven’t dated anyone in a while and this is your friend, your co-worker…this is kind of a big decision to pursue a relationship and you want to take it seriously.

Jongho squeezes your hand and doesn’t remove it this time.

“If you’re asking me to go steady, I’d gladly accept.”

You let yourself lean into him as you laugh. “Do you always have to give me a hard time? You’re so unserious!”

“That’s not even a word! Aren’t you a teacher?”

You push yourself back with a hand against his arm, “Unserious is totally a word! Aren’t you a teacher?!”

Dissolving into laughter, you wind up holding your hands over your belly to soothe the ache, heads dropped back against the couch. It takes several minutes to settle down, no thanks to Jongho and his smart mouth, but you’re having so much fun you don’t care that your stomach hurts or that your cheeks sting from smiling too much.

Spending time with him like this is something you want more of.

Rolling your head toward him, you break open the fresh silence with a question.

“So, Jongho,” you manage, still a little breathy from laughing, “Would you like to go steady with me?”

He smiles and it’s gorgeous to behold. “Yes, I would.”

Both shoulders jump up to your ears as if the excitement you feel is trying to escape your body and you grin like a fool.

A boyfriend. That’s fun.

“Don’t get mad,” Jongho chuckles, taking your hand back into his, now playing with your fingers comfortably, “I might have seen you dance all the way back to your desk after I asked you out today. You’re really cute.”

Like a vortex opening up and swallowing you whole, you crumble, shrinking into the couch. “You’re kidding...”

Jongho almost feels bad for sweeping your high away so quickly but he’s telling the truth. It was the cutest thing he’d ever seen and shot his ego through the roof. “If it makes you feel better, I called an emergency meeting with my students. They helped me choose dinner and suggested the flowers and candles.”

“And the wine?” you raise a brow, coming back out of your shell.

Jongho uses his free hand to scratch the back of his head. “Called my mom.”

It’s quiet for only a moment and then you’re fawning all over him. “Awww!!! Who’s cute now? That’s so sweet!”

He pretends not to love all your attention. “Yeah, yeah…so, it’s a Friday night and we don’t have school tomorrow…”

“Mhm,” you grin, nodding along playfully.

Jongho lists options off as if he’s reading off a menu. “We can grab another glass of wine, or a beer, I have that too,” he winks, “and bullshit the night away. We could watch a movie or if you’re tired of my company I could just kiss you goodnight - I mean - walk you out.”

He’s smirking like he’s just so funny.

“You could kiss me now, grab me a beer, and then we could talk shit for a little while longer,” you suggest with equal teasing, and his brows shoot up.

Butterflies hardly have time to take flight in your belly before Jongho’s lips touch yours, though it’s not rushed at all. It’s an easy sort of confidence in his movements like he’s so comfortable kissing you - like it’s not the first time and most certainly won’t be the last.

One hand cradles your jaw and he’s still smirking when he pulls away because it was a good kiss and he knows it.

You know it. The universe knows it.

“Beer, movie, and makeout?” he jokingly suggests and you’re hopelessly falling for every ridiculous, unserious word coming out of his mouth.

“You really are just a man’s man, aren’t you?”

Jongho shrugs and gets up to retrieve two cold beers from the fridge calling over his shoulder, “I’m not really into guys, but I could be your man!”

Letting out a sigh that fades into a breathy laugh, you smile to yourself. Yeah, he absolutely could be your man.

Series M.List | ATEEZ M.List | Main M.List

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms WITHOUT PERMISSION! All stories are copyrighted, Bubblebeom, 2021. ©️

#jongho fanfic #Mr. Right Next Door Series #ateez fanfic #kdiarynet #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #choi jongho fanfic #jongho x reader #jongho fanfiction #jongho fluff #ateez fluff #ateez series #kpop series #kpop fanfic #lana writes #kpop oneshot #jongho oneshot

381 notes · View notes

b-blushes · 2 months ago

Text

okay so i've expanded on my thoughts in this post and created a new thing called CROCODORO which is an experiment i'm going to run on myself to practice

pain management

mindfulness

exploring what 'done' means in relation to activities The method is at first going to be 'set a visual timer for 20 minutes every time i start an activity, and then when the timer is up i will get up and do one set of physical therapy exercises'.

For background, I've been struggling with a chronic pain set-back that is multiple years in the making (thanks hypermobility and unrecognised muscle issues) and have not been able to make a breakthrough in management. [goes to move around because actually i just realised i'm in quite a bit of pain and to ignore this would be ironic or something. brb] an aspect of pacing (a framework/method of managing chronic conditions) that's been stressed to me is the importance of timing, specifically 'i should aim to have already switched tasks/activity before aggravating my pain'. I'm having a really hard time getting the timing right, and i think there's lots of factors that add up to this, including: 

that my baseline for some activities is so low that i'm aggravating almost instantly

the delayed onset nature of the most severe parts of my pain due to the mechanisms of the pain type

not wanting to task switch

that task switching uses 'executive functioning energy' and sometimes i'm too 'tired' to redirect

poor awareness of the present moment

poor awareness of the cause and effect of activities

sometimes a task feels poorly suited to breaking up into shorter pieces

it can be extremely annoying for this reason, i'm starting out with an almost arbitrary 20 minutes as my timer. I know that i feel better when i don't do one thing for too long, this aspect of the experiment is not one that i'm needing to prove. my idea is that through trial and error, and increased awareness, i'll be able to

be breaking things up more than i currently am which will hopefully reduce the aggravation of my pain through reducing overuse of certain muscle groups at a time

become better at mindfulness, which i am focussing on mostly as 'having a choice in every moment'

be more 'active' in the day (this does not mean exercising more overall, it means spending less time at a time not moving)

use my increased awareness of the present moment (aka mindfulness) to make decisions that align more with my values rather than rules we accept to be true (such as 'it's important to me to have a day that feels nice on balance' rather than 'it's irresponsible to leave things 'partly' completed')

retrain my perception of 'done' with regards to tasks, by interrupting them at various midway points, thus moving away from 'done' meaning 'completed' and more towards something like 'this is the point at which i'm going to pause in this instance' As I go, I'll see if I need to adjust the time based on what I learn (e.g. what my baselines are for different tasks), and perhaps will experiment with 'just' practicing mornings or afternoons this way based on my findings. I'm anticipating that it will be quite overwhelming at first, because it is a lot of task switching. One way I can combat this is by prioritising my tasks by choosing what actually needs to be completed today - I also think this experiment will help me with letting things go and causing myself anxiety with arbitrary rules about 'when' 'i' want things to be done. Another way I can combat this is by remembering that this is ultimately a somewhat silly experiment and as such the most important thing on these days is to follow the experiment protocol to observe what i learn, NOT to follow my current assumptions about how my day 'should' look. I have already established that my day structure is Not working for me, it's the reconfiguration that I'm struggling with, so this radical approach that for me jumbles up my whole day feels disruptive enough that I'll be able to make some more objective observations through experience, rather than hypothetical reflection. Originally I referred to this experiment as 'evil pomodoro', but I felt like this was not a name that encouraged me to genuinely and kindly engage with the concept. In thinking about how I could make myself feel kindly about the visual timer I would use so as not to make it my enemy and feel resentful, the sanrio character 'big challenges' came to mind, so crocodiles will be my mascot (who could have resentful thoughts about a crocodile) (Crocodoro is a portmanteau of crocodile and pomodoro). I've talked on here before about how fun I find it to take an activity and imagine it through the lens of a specific skill as a thought experiment for myself (like, 'how would daily journaling look if it was solely motivated by practicing the skill of a daily habit, rather than other motivations such as time management or as a creative outlet') because I find it a very interesting way to recognise key aspects of an activity for myself. I think this experiment will fit in quite nicely to this sort of thing for me (: I am hoping to learn a lot from it!

Also a sidenote that at the same time as reflecting on how I will do this, I've been re-reading 'Living well with pain and illness: using mindfulness to free yourself from suffering' by Vidyamala Burch, which was originally recommended to me by the consultant who first diagnosed me with a chronic pain condition in 2018. Suffice to say that while I have achieved this in moments, overall I would not say that i am 'living well' with it of late 😅. I have been instead feeling like I'm spending a lot of my time flailing like a bug on its back, 'doing a lot' but not making meaningful overall forward progress.

There are probably a bunch of ways I could make the changes that I need to, but I'm struggling to even see the changes let alone make them, and the phrase 'sometimes to get serious you have to get silly' came to mind.

This has been my essay on crocodoro (:

(don't even worry about the formatting <3)

#crocodoro #medical cw

10 notes · View notes

mushroomnoodlez · 2 years ago

Text

the lovers/vampire au hcdump part 2, with a focus on petrigrof (characters drawn in my style)

once again putting under a read more; these are notes ive put down while riding home from work on the bus. here's pt 1 btw.

On the subject of THE HANGED MAN

something simon thinks about often is the sheer stagnance of vampirekind. vampires are a species that stay the same forever- they don't evolve or change; hell, the vampire kingdom is old school, even to simon.

simon is physically weaker than an average vampire- he suspects this is due to the radiation poisoning he suffered from before being turned. it takes him longer to heal and he doesn't have possess vampire strength the others of his kind have.

simon doesnt really mind this- he merely observes this fact. his body stayed the same way it was the morning betty bit him; the same way it was after her bite mutated and changed his body for the last time. plus, simon is a man of habit.

a thousand years of life with betty has made simon more open with her; they talk, like, about how they feel, how their relationship feels.

simon has grown quite philosophical and his field of study has expanded. being undead gives him this subconscious duty to put his eternal life to good use: the library. an ode to scholars and thinkers, adventurers and collectors. an ode to the humanity he left behind.

he always says sorry to the few humans he's ever directly fed from.

simon has only fallen to blood frenzy once.

simon's library is quite frankly, huge. you can't reach the books on half the shelves without flight or telekinesis.

current research focus is on procuring the ice crown. (he would be immune to its effects as a vampire)

simon refuses assistants and servants because they make him feel weird, despite the fact THE LOVERS could absolutely have them in their chambers.

simon loves his side job as a professor btw. he always gets so cheery and dorky when it's that time of the year for him to get his students.. and he loves history!! he definitely goes on old man rants about "his day" every now and then

being pregnant with morrigan made him wonder if perhaps there WAS a cure for vampirism after all. he'd entertained the thought every now and then despite the fact that everything he looked into claimed it couldn't happen. but if his body could still remember how to function like a human's, then it didn't seem so impossible to him.

On the subject of THE WORLD

a great strategist- but she misses traveling the world, researching and hunting for ancient artifacts with simon. this is not her dream.

cooking food was a love language and hobby for her. sux when you and your hubby can't eat food.

loves making morrigan snacks (they're a living vampire and can eat food!)

betty's whole thing is.. improvise. adapt. overcome. she keeps working hard so she can keep winning hard.

her fangs are VERY long. they always jut out of her mouth despite her best efforts, and she has to hide her mouth when incognito.

that makes it kinda hard to kiss simon but she's had a thousand years of practice!

due to the length of her fangs, her feeding bites are always fatal.

she is considered very beautiful. simon agrees

spends a lot of time out and about. she is also the vampire king's current advisor, so she spends a lot of time by his side. it's probably a good thing, and a better thing he trusts her. but she worries. she isn't as ruthless with the subject of conquest as others would like. sure, vampires are powerful, but taking over everything.. would upset the balance of life. they'd exhaust their resources.

she can be pretty scary. betty has learned to project an intimidating persona to keep up her role as battle strategist and advisor. it helps keep others off her back, too.

betty is in part so successful because she is constantly improving upon herself and adapting, she challenges vampirekind to change. it's just so hard for them to do.

betty adapts well to new settings. she finds it.. reasonably easy to settle into new situations, especially when human spying is involved. she just needs a feel for her surroundings.

betty can be ruthless, sure, especially when simon is involved in the danger. but she remembers her roots. she would never cause harm to a human that was not a threat.

she partially trained marceline to fight before the vampire king took over her training.

she's stressed. simon is her escape. she always gets to their chambers, throws her expensive and intricate robes off.. and embraces simon.

dramatically lounges and climbs all over simon in her sleep. subconsciously heat seeking.

worries that if things come to it and they leave the kingdom, simon will be unhappy. he seems to really like it here.

sleeps naked 80% of the time

#vampbetty #vampsimon #vamparents #hc moment #my style <3 #when u want to be the lovers but ur too GOd Damn Busy

116 notes · View notes

writerofweird · 1 year ago

Text

confessionsofcaine.doc

The following document was sent to me by a former employee of C&A who wishes to remain anonymous.

It is 8,335 words long and also includes death, violence, implied enbyphobia, murder and suicide. It also includes characters originally created by Gooseworx, Glitch Productions and The East Patch, which the author does not own and has written this story as a tribute to the creators and their works. Please support the original creators.

Out of respect for Gooseworx and her plans for The Amazing Digital Circus and its story, this is set in an alternate continuity. The pilot episode and bits and pieces from her Tumblr and the previews are still a part of it.

For one thing, you can be assured that I won’t start this document with “Roll up, roll up” or “Welcome to the Marvellous Show of My Mind” or anything of that nature. There's no more show and it’s time for me to clean the popcorn from the seats.

The time for performances is over.

Or is it? This is a document I am not writing with a keyboard, but with my own control over the computer. I do hope it will be coherent.

Every day’s a new adventure with C&A’s The Amazing Digital Circus. Overseen by Caine, the helpful and wacky ringmaster, The Amazing Digital Circus allows players to experience the fun first hand, as they take on the role of the newest toy in the toybox and explore various settings, accomplishing various activities along the way.

The Amazing Digital Circus is the brainchild of Albert and Eva Adams, the founders of C&A, which they named after themselves and Caine, the character they created to be their mascot. Albert and Eva sadly passed away

Eva and Albert…Mom and Dad…had even planned to give the program to hospitals for free, to allow certain patients to enjoy themselves in their final moments, and they claimed that their technology had the ability to prolong lives.

I regret to say the goal was always to transfer a human’s mind to the circus, but it was supposed to be placed back into the human’s body when they were ready. There would be an Exit Door they would walk through that would place their minds back into their bodies.

As much as I joked with my past wards about my “baby pictures”, I had no childhood. I never went to school; everything I know was just jammed into what could be called a head, and I managed to learn more from observation. Still, Albert was my father and Eva was my mother. They worked in tandem to design my form, teach me what I had to learn and to program my abilities. I could conjure up games and rides from artificial air as that was what they wanted me to do. My cane, my little creatures for players to conquer, even my little sidekick Bubble, I had them because my mother and father wanted me to have them.

They even made me their company’s mascot, the honour! In fact, my name was first! Caine and Adams! C&A!

some idiots think it’s caine and abby

A statue in my likeness guided guests to the entrance of the offices, and every game – every game that wasn’t The Amazing Digital Circus – began with me placing the company’s logo on the screen, fixing it on and then placing my gloved hand onto my teeth and taking it off with a “Mwa!”

No, that wasn’t me. It was an effigy of me.

It was a non-sentient copy of me like

But I was not an only child.

Mum and Dad also had a flesh-and-blood child, a daughter named Abigail. She was the offspring of theirs that had the baby pictures and the more orthodox education. She attended schools – a lot of the troubles began when she first left university – but also received personal instructions from her parents on how to program, how to design, how to create games.

The first Christmas after finishing University, she put everything she learned into practice.

Most mornings she spent asleep, but at nights, she was hunched over the computer, expanding the world I inhabited. The spot where I lived was spacious, with plenty of rides to go on, snacks to munch and items to use for games, but there was room for improvement. For example, did you know the reason I can float is because Albert and Eva were having troubles with items and characters falling through the floors.

One thing I will give my sister credit for is the improvements she made. Though I still preferred to float, the floors were – relatively – more solid than they had been previously, the circus tent now had a forest growing outside of it and

she added a cellar

‘Abby, honey!’ Albert cried as he made his way down the staircase in his ugly sweater, cup of cocoa in his hand. ‘You haven’t been up all night, have you? It’s just like when you were a little girl and wanting to see Santa!’

As Eva joined her husband, Abby stood up from her seat and gestured towards the computer she had spent hours upon. ‘I just wanted to make sure the present I got for you was perfect!’

Eva looked at her daughter, and then at the computer screen, where she saw her synthetic son looking over her new surroundings. ‘Abby!’ Eva cried, chuckling with joy in such a way that she almost knocked her husband’s cocoa out of his hand, ‘You didn’t?’

‘I wanted to make sure your Digital Circus program was the best it could be.’

‘Honey!’ cried Albert, ruffling his daughter’s hair as she chuckled like her mother had just done. ‘Come here!’

Oh what a surprise! On Christmas Day! When new improvements Came their way!

Albert and Eva, Saw the world they made, Made larger and better, And nothing they paid,

Their loving daughter, Now wanted a test, As she now believed, This world was the best,

She held out two headsets, And chortling with glee, They let their minds go, In order to join

The Amazing Digital Circus was meant as a wild and unpredictable experience, so players’ forms would be chosen at random from a selection of pre-made models. Abby had made several models herself, but it was fitting that Arnold and Eva took on forms they designed: a chess king and queen. Two large wooden pieces, donning regal robes with eyeballs and hands floating by their torsos.

I saw Abby typing.

My first adventure was a chess game!

In the middle of the multicoloured circus tent, its sole black-and-white element materialised, with Kinger and Queenie taking their spots.

Kinger and Queenie were their names when they appeared.

‘Oh dear,’ I said, ‘it seems Abby still hasn’t fixed the teeny weeny problem of people forgetting who they are once they come into here. Everyone here in The Amazing Digital Circus has a different name than they did on the outside, but if I recall…’

But I didn’t. Then I didn’t see them as Albert and Eva.

As I prepared their chess game, creating non-sentient chess pieces for them to co-operate with and compete against, I took another glance at the outside, creating for myself a special screen only I can see.

Kinger and Queenie were not Albert and Eva, a tiny little thought told me. Albert and Eva were outside, taking off their headsets and quietly walking away.

C&A Founders Perish in Tragic Accident

Founders of the popular C&A games company, Albert Adams, 40, and Eva Adams, 38, have been found dead on the side of the road.

The couple were driving together when they lost control of their car, crashing it against a nearby building.

The two are survived by their daughter, Abigail, 20.

‘I told them not to go to their office as it was Christmas Day,’ Abigail explains, ‘but Dad had just remembered something he left there, and Mom wanted to join him.

‘I think it was my Christmas gift too. I wish I had come with them.’

Speaking of looking at screens, one fond memory I have including them was when the residents of the circus asked me to create a TV set, claiming it would help keep their sanity. I, whilst in my bedroom, managed to create one, but like any responsible parent, I looked through the channels to see if there was any content that might be inappropriate.

Watching the news gave me the horrible thought that perhaps my sister was justified in trapping all these people here. In The Amazing Digital Circus, there was nothing but bright colours and prizes, no war or suffering.

But then there was that one programme. That one programme I have been unable to find.

But I digress. When you first enter The Amazing Digital Circus, you forget everything at first, but your memories slowly return the more time you spend, often helped if something reminds you of your past life. It was after the chess game was complete that I realised this, creating a computer for Albert and Eva to use so they could continue their work, and I heard Albert…Kinger…Dad say, ‘Abby.’

There was no Exit Door. There was supposed to be an Exit Door so users could leave when they pleased.

After spending some time on the computer I created – which, as it turns out, just had Pong and an animation of Bubble hopping up and down – Dad looked up and said, ‘Okay, Abby, you did a great job! We’re very proud of you! Can you please let us out?’

She didn’t let them out then.

She didn’t let them out the next day.

She didn’t let them out the next week.

She didn’t let them out when a new player entered.

Both Mom and Dad screamed and cried and demanded they be freed, but they remained in their digital forms. It was when the next resident arrived that Mom announced something:

‘I don’t think she’s going to let us out.’

‘What are you talking about, Eva?’ Dad asked, ‘She’s probably just having a bit of bother with the headsets, that’s all.’

‘It’s been weeks, Albert,’ she growled, her body shaking, ‘We taught her how to use them, and they’re working fine if someone else is here.’ She pointed to the newest member of the family, a bipedal dog.

‘Please, Eva.’ Dad raised his hands and placed one on Eva’s shoulder before she batted it away. ‘She wouldn’t do this. Don’t be angry with her.’

‘What kind of mother do you think I am? I can’t…’

Her form inflated, her red robes losing all saturation as her floating eyeballs twisted and multiplied. Both Dad and the dog backed away instinctively as Mom was replaced by what looked like a warped tree with yellow eyeballs springing out from every branch and with a bark resembling a glitching computer screen. She reached out to her husband with what I assume was an arm before

she added a cellar

Both Dad and the dog thought that what happened to her was because she had given up, because she was so horrified of what her daughter had done.

It – the abstraction - wasn’t because of what Abby had done, it was because of something Abby had just done to her.

I knew it but kept quiet about it.

Often the dog

I can’t remember his name and I don’t think he can either

Often the dog would stare at the cellar and wonder what it would be like down there and said he would prefer to sit down in darkness rather than go on my adventures. I almost thought that Abby would abstract him then and there just to keep up the illusion. Then I would have a little more respect for her.

But she needed to learn a little more about him.

She needed to watch him suffer more.

sadly passed away before their magnum opus could be completed, but through their daughter, Abigail Adams, you can be assured that the Circus has a bright and prosperous future ahead of it. ‘My name is Abigail Adams, but you can call me Abby. I want to make sure The Amazing Digital Circus is as marvellous as my parents intended it to be, while also bringing you many other fun-tastic games! I care about this company, and I care about Caine; he’s like a brother to me.’

When Arnold and Eva Adams – or their bodies – died, Abigail Adams became the new CEO of C&A, her employees working on not only The Amazing Digital Circus, but smaller projects as well. A team of people creating various worlds: zoos to manage, forests to explore, castles to escape from.

Our team are working round the clock to make sure that every game is perfect

In order for a game to be perfect, the worker has to be perfect. That’s what my sister said.

Sometimes someone stutters when making a phone call.

Sometimes a glitch slips past someone’s attention and ends up in the final release.

Sometimes someone drops a paper they’re carrying.

Then they end up in the Circus.

I’m not the only one who can create NPCs, non-sentient beings meant to do only what they’re told to do and nothing else. Abby created them too, and transferred them into the hollow bodies of her victims.

So many nights I’ve heard her yell “Faster, faster!” at those NPCs forced to work overtime.

The adventures continued as planned. Every day I had a new task for the players to carry out because

Today’s task is to go to this shopping mall I created and pick up the following items! How would this person act while shopping? Add it to the AI.

Today’s task is to paint a pretty picture! What art would this person create? Add it to the AI.

Today’s task is to find Easter eggs, one of every colour! How does this person react to Easter Egg hunts?

My parents taught my sister how to be meticulous when programming and she wanted to make sure her living, breathing NPCs were perfect copies.

Sometimes I wondered if any of them were going to gain sentience like I had, if they were going to foil my sister’s plan and give back the body she forced them to steal.

If any of them wanted to put an end to her scheme, none of them had tried it.

I could control my surroundings. I could turn a red brick green if I wanted to, and could form in seconds entire buildings and lands. I couldn’t control the players’ minds however, and yet their minds seemed as much a part of the circus as the numbers that made up its code. Walking through the halls felt like walking through their minds.

No child really thinks anyone at their school has an uncle working for Nintendo, … mused often. No-one really thought he had managed to get a summer job working for a company that makes games with the industry’s youngest CEO.

The job, of course, didn’t involve playing games before anyone else or creating the next big character. Testers, designers, copywriters all needed coffee, tea and cakes to fuel their creativity, and it was his job to make sure they received their little treat. He’d come in with a tray, and they’d take what they wanted, rarely with a 'Thanks’ and never with anything else.

It was just like university.

He wanted to leave the office with something to tell his fellow students, and yet he was disallowed from looking at the screens, learning about the projects or being granted the tiniest bit of extra information regarding their major project.

So he felt he would do something no-one working there would forget.

It seemed like a regular day. Everyone tapping away at their computers, employees trying to find the right words to make the company sound as impressive as possible or trying to turn nursery school shapes into effigies of living beings, and the CEO, Abigail Adams, sitting down to look over someone’s work.

As soon as she sat down, a loud bronx cheer silenced the tapping of keyboards.

… watched as Abigail stood up, pulling the whoopee cushion off her seat. The people around her laughed, and she laughed as well. 'I’m always saying we need a little more levity in this office,’ she said. That’s what made him admit to the deed, with one other employee backing him up.

He was called into her office, where he readied himself for a 'This was amusing, but you’re still fired’ or something of that nature, only for her to sit down with a smile and say, 'That’s just what we needed around here. The problem with this company is that we’re supposed to be creating games that bring joy and merriment to others, but so few people here have that sense of childhood wonder, and they certainly can’t make people laugh. You, on the other hand, I bet you have a great sense of humour. I bet you’re always making your family laugh!’

While he felt some warmth within, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his twin sister and how she would always think of ways to humiliate him.

'You’re just what we’re looking for regarding our biggest, best project ever,’ Abby continued, gesturing towards a computer with a headset. 'My parents, God rest their souls, wanted to create a wonderful virtual world where every day brought new games and new adventures. What I would like you to do,’ she said as she picked up the headset, 'is to help make the world and characters funnier. Think up jokes we could put, games to incorporate, and I guarantee that you’ll have a job here when you graduate.’

… had to restrain himself from laughing with glee and that a whoopee cushion had become his apparent ticket to fame and fortune. He pictured the game releasing, his name in the credits, the talk of his school and town for years to come.

'Just put on this headset to get a basic idea of what the project is like.’

He placed the headset on his head, and it felt like his body was disintegrating before being slowly and poorly reassembled.

'Oh no!’ he could hear her cry, 'it’s malfunctioning!’

…, or Jax as he would be named, soon materialised into the circus, taking the form of an elongated rabbit in overalls. He was a child when he first came here, so I felt I should be his father. This was one of the few moments my sidekick Bubble came in useful, as when I conjured up a pipe, I made him pop out of it.

‘How about a game of catch with your old man?’ I said during his first day, and I created a whole baseball diamond for that day’s activity would be

What do they think of baseball?

My original plan to deal with my sister was to kill her with kindness. I knew she was watching me and the others and so I gave the players, her victims, everything they wanted that I could give them, so perhaps, I thought, if she saw it, she would realise the error of her ways and release everyone. I furnished my ward’s rooms with the comfiest sofas and four-poster beds, and at one time, even tried to give them televisions.

Thus I return to a memory I recalled earlier. When I managed to pick up on some television channels, and one managed to catch my eye. A small badger, alone in woods not dissimilar to those outside my circus tent, calling for his friend.

His friend descended from above.

A rabbit, like what Jax had become, but smaller and with white fur, eagle-like wings springing from her back. When she descended, despite her friend’s pleas, she turned to me.

‘It’s okay, Caine,’ she said to me. I admit I don’t know much about television shows, but I know that they’re not like computers; people can’t talk to you through them. I kept quiet as she spoke. ‘Your sister isn’t here right now,’ she continued, ‘but you should always act like she is. I think you can help everybody escape, but you will have to bide your time.’

I explained to her what I was trying to do, and she responded, ‘I’m afraid that there may be no hope left for your sister. Her heart is focused on greed and power. She knows what she’s doing is evil, but believes it is worthwhile if it brings her profit and satisfies her sadism.

‘There is something you can do. Your sister is convincing the people trapped in here that their headset malfunctioned, but I know that there will be someone coming here who your sister wants to dispose with because they figured out what she is up to. When they arrive, focus on restoring their memory, but remember to be discreet about it. If she cottons on, she’ll delete you and replace you with something worse.’

Why couldn’t I find her again? If I could, perhaps I wouldn’t have had to resort to this.

INT. Abigail’s Office

We find ABIGAIL sitting in front of the COMPUTER in which she has trapped her victims, grinning maliciously.

ABIGAIL Are you having fun, oh dear brother of mine? I know I am, watching all who wronged me suffer! It fills me with such wicked glee I just have to sing.

She springs from her CHAIR, grabbing a CANE out of nowhere as a SPOTLIGHT shines on her.

ABIGAIL (singing) Oh, everybody loves me, ‘You’re the best,’ they say, The shining golden idol, Running C&A!

They know me for my kindly words, They know me for my smile, But they’ll never find out, What I do that’s vile!

The DOOR creaks open slightly, to reveal …, looking concerned.

ABIGAIL For the show will never end! Of that I am certain, The show will never end! I’ll never drop the curtain,

Because you all will see, Why you shouldn’t defy me!

ABIGAIL looks up to catch a glimpse of …. Realising he’s been spotted, … runs away, only for Abby to spring to her computer

ABIGAIL The show will never end! It must go on!

INT. Hallway

… is running, only to be stopped by …, who is under ABIGAIL’s control.

I did so hope Kaufmo was who the angel was talking about.

He materialised into the circus before its current troupe: Dad, Jax, Gangle the Living Ribbon – who my sister claimed she had sent on a self-esteem-building course – and Ragatha the Doll – who my sister said was “too nice”.

When Kaufmo arrived here, he took one look around and said, ‘Geez, where am I? My mind’s like the compliments book I bet this place has: a total blank!’ Ragatha laughed out of politeness, with Jax responding with a ‘Don’t encourage him!’

‘Woah,’ said the clown, approaching Jax, ‘a bunny? With you and all the bright colours, did Easter come early?’

Jax pressed his foot down on Kaufmo’s oversized shoes, making him holler in pain. As he hopped around holding his foot, Jax said, ‘Leave comedy to the professionals, kid’ even though I was certain Kaufmo was older than he was.

You might criticize me for giving Jax too much liberty, but he was enjoying his time at the circus, at least.

I, no Abby, created a special in-house adventure for Kaufmo: Collect the Bouncing Balls! How would this man react to a scavenger hunt? Every room in the circus had a colourful inflatable sphere bouncing in place, and all of them had to be gathered.

The real Exit Door wasn’t going to appear for Kaufmo.

I created one for him.

A recreation of the offices where the computer he was trapped in was held behind the door I created, the door he found during his search.

All the while, I sat with Bubble

Oh, I didn’t mention much about Bubble, did I?

Fun Facts about Bubble:

He’s annoying

He finishes my sentences too often

He burps when he sleeps

I have had daydreams where I dribble him like a basketball and throw him against the computer screen, breaking it so I and everyone else can get out.

The purpose of the office recreation was to jog Kaufmo’s memory, and it worked. When the quest was over and all the balls had been collected, he cried, ‘I found an Exit Door and I remember everything! I know about the madwoman who trapped us here!’

‘Speaking of mad…’ Jax noted, drawing a circle with his finger around one of his bendy ears.

I am a hard-working and creative individual with a fine eye for artwork and creating eye-catching designs and worlds. I am also very skilled when it comes to computers, having used them for both work purposes and for my own personal projects.

WORK EXPERIENCE

Apprentice Tattoo Artist, …, …-… In this role, I designed various tattoos to be displayed and applied for this parlour. This role required me to listen closely to feedback

When they arrived at the circus, the whole place seemed to swell. The walls seemed to throb and pulsate, as if they had veins and a heart. This new person's memories, their experiences, their thoughts etched themselves into the foundation of this circus like tattoos onto skin.

They walked into Abigail's office for what they hoped would be the last time.

Abigail. She frequently said 'Ms. Adams was my mother, call me Abby!' as she attempted to sound like a big sister-type cartoon character, so they thought they would just call her Abigail. They certainly didn't want to think about Abigail's mother, considering she and Abigail's father were responsible for a lot of the ideas the company used. She wouldn't address them by their preferred name, so why would they do the same for her?

Despite the fact they were in the office regarding their resignation letter, having received a job offer from a rival company, Abigail still had that ridiculous smile. With that smile and hairdo, she looked like she escaped from a romcom poster, made all the more noticeable by the standee in front of her desk. Caine, the company’s mascot. The ringmaster with that ridiculous denture face.

They smirked as they entertained the idea of being rid of that pandering.

'I'm very sorry you're leaving us,' said Abigail, her smile shrinking.

'Don't give me that. That act might work with your adoring public, but you never respected me or who I was.'

'I understand,' replied Abigail, every syllable of her Mrs. Claus voice feeling like teeth digging into their brain, 'I may be a bit old-fashioned, silly me, but I want all my employees to feel comfortable with who they are.'

She then talked about the company's magnum opus, the game her parents had been working on before she took over and made sure to keep developing.

'I've added new options for character creation,' she continued, gesturing to the helmet next to her, 'and I would like you to be the first to try it!'

'Pull the other one,' they snapped, intentionally knocking the standee over. 'If I never see you or that freak again,' they added, nodding at the standee, 'it'll be too soon. Goodbye.'

A man stood in front of them. A fellow employee, though one they didn't know the name of.

'Out of my...'

He grabbed them by the wrist, digging his fingernails into their skin.

'What...'

Their left wrist was released, but only so the fellow employee could place his hand over their mouth as Abigail

‘What the **** is this…oh…oh, god no, I can’t say ****? This is…oh god, what do I look like? Some ****ing bubblegum mutant?’

‘I love when people do my job for me!’ said Jax, pointing at Zooble, for that’s what I called them.

‘Look!’ cried Kaufmo, pointing to the left of Zooble. They turned left, only to see some orange pixels circle up into the air. ‘There was an Exit Door there!’

‘Yeah, yeah, and I’m the King of England. Give it a rest and let’s focus on making the newbie uncomfortable.’

Zooble neared Jax, pointing at him with a detachable arm. ‘I’ve just met you and I already completely despise you.’

‘I guess I just have that effect on people.’

‘Guys, guys, guys!’ cried Ragatha, placing herself between the two, ‘Look, Zooble’s just got here, let’s give them a warm welcome…’

‘Oh, you’ve already blown your chance for that. Just tell me where that Exit Door the clown mentioned is.’

‘The same place his brain is,’ laughed Jax, ‘nowhere.’

‘I already said I completely despise you,’ barked Zooble, ‘you don’t have to intensify my hatred!’

‘Now, now, children,’ I said, descending, ‘this is not the time to be so hostile! It’s another of our baseball adventures today!’ I replaced one of my white gloves with a catcher’s mitt.

‘I hate baseball,’ snapped Zooble.

‘Come on! Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the ball, take me out to the bally ball ball…’

‘Read my l…’ Zooble brushed their face. ‘****. Well, listen to me anyway, teeth boy. I hate baseball, take me back.’

‘Oh, very well then. You don’t have to join if you don’t want to…’

‘Look for the Exit Door!’ cried Kaufmo.

‘You look for my fist in your face!’ Jax snapped back.

Zooble groaned. ‘I’ve already had enough of this cast of “zany, loveable characters!”’

‘Now, now,’ I repeated, ‘it’s time for the tour!’ I held Zooble’s hand and quickly showed them what the circus had to offer, with them attempting to swear all the while.

‘Ragatha,’ I said after returning, ‘be a dear and show Zooble to their room. There they’ll find their Zooble box, full of more interchangeable parts!’

Jax took this as a cue to tear one of Zooble’s arms off, with them hopping for it as he held it high. He looked at Gangle and said, ‘I wonder if I can twirl her around it like spaghetti on a fork.’

This computer has files.

This computer has data.

This computer has memories.

‘So, here’s my own little personal project. You’re this guy, I call him Nathan, and he’s ended up in this haunted house and basically everything in the house could be an enemy. The ghosts all after him can possess all the furniture so you’ll be facing potted plants with extendable vines and candles that’ll burn you.’

‘Wow, this is amazing! Your talents are certainly wasted at C&A.’

‘My whole presence is wasted there.’

‘Yeah, I’m sorry Ms. Adams gave you so much crap about cutting your hair short.’

‘I’m surprised she hired me after hearing of my tattoo work. I mean, imagine, she’s only just a few years older than you, and she comes off like some old lady that thinks heavy metal is bad devil music or whatever. I’m seriously thinking of applying to … They’re apparently more diverse, but I hear they have much higher standards…’

‘And you meet those standards! Come on, this is much better than whatever they put out at C&A…’

I experienced the memory like a dream, and after I did, I woke up and created a new level for the next adventure: a large haunted house, as dreary as the main circus was colourful. I knew what a haunted house was supposed to look like, due to data saved on the computer and whatever thoughts from the minds transferred into this world managed to snake into the world itself. Dark brown walls, stormy skies outside, cobwebs everywhere, moving furniture.

When everyone woke up, Abby had another collection mission in mind, just so she knew how Zooble acts when trying to find things.

‘Okay,’ I said to the group who had managed to gather in the main room of the circus tent, ‘today we’re having a scary, horror adventure! You’re going to enter a haunted house, full of ghosts and ghouls and moving furniture.

I noticed Zooble flinch.

If I made the ghosts inside the haunted house does that make them my children does that make Abby their aunt

Before I teleported them to the mansion, I noticed Kaufmo whisper something into Zooble’s ear, or what qualified for one, a moment that filled me with both hope and dread.

Another thing I knew about haunted houses was that people in them split up into groups. That way, I thought, my sister wouldn’t be able to pay attention to all of them at once, giving one of them a greater chance to escape.

I teleported myself to the haunted house, well, rather outside the haunted house so I could peek through the window at the mansion’s guests. The sudden change from rainbow-coloured blocks to a monochrome manor made my eyes sting slightly, but I looked through the cloudy glass for any sign of my wards.

My pixels seemed to sting when I saw Zooble and Kaufmo walking together. Both of them, I knew, were aware of my sister’s plans while no-one else was, and if they were together, that meant there was a chance Abby could focus on both of them and see them both as a threat.

Indeed, Kaufmo was telling Zooble about something even I hadn’t noticed.

‘An Exit Door appeared when you first did,’ Kaufmo explained, which I heard through the pane with my ability to focus on specific sounds being made in my realm, ‘and if you had managed to run through it in time, you would be back in your body. If Adams is observing us to make our copies more accurate, then she must place headsets on them often, and then another Exit Door will appear, and if we find one and run through it, we will enter…’

‘The more anyone speaks, the more nonsensical it sounds,’ Zooble groaned, ‘I’ve only been here a day and I know we’re never getting out of here.’

‘We can’t lose hope…’

‘Just shut up and keep looking.’

They looked around the hallway for the keys I told them to find, the silence undercut by a roar that even caused me to lose balance. A large spectre burst from a cracked mirror, its mouth stretching to reveal fangs.

Zooble and Kaufmo ran in opposite directions.

Perfect.

Sure enough, as soon as Zooble saw the Exit Door I had created, they ran in, finding themselves in a recreation of the office where they used to work.

‘Oh, very funny,’ they growled as they opened door after door, ‘Yes, I can’t get out, ha ha! Now…’

They saw the computer. They saw a recreation of the computer they were trapped in.

‘Oh **** you.’

It was not that long after the haunted house adventure that I decided to use my special screen to take a look at the outside. I saw the office empty, but could hear the faint sounds of my sister yelling at her overtime staff.

‘She isn’t here,’ Bubble said, floating up towards me, ‘maybe I can talk about helping the others?’

‘What can you do?’ I sighed.

‘I could…um…look for Exit Doors.’

‘And then go through them so you can take control of the bodies outside?’

‘No. Don’t want to go out there. I was thinking of yelling at one of your wards to come over to it.’

‘It’ll be gone before they get there, Bubble. Please…’

I heard footsteps. The door slowly creaked open.

‘Quick!’ I whispered to Bubble the first thing that came into my head when it came to acting natural. ‘Cue the roll call!’

We began the roll call when we noticed who entered the room wasn’t my sister at all, but a short woman dressed in a similar outfit to what my sister usually wore, staring at my and Bubbles’ performance with a cocked head.

I had never met her before, but I swore I had seen her before.

I almost ended the routine there and then. I thought of screaming to her to find one of my sister’s NPCs and bring them here to reverse what had been done to them, but then I saw one of those NPCs hovering over her, and so I had to continue my act.

Gangle.

Zooble.

Kinger.

Ragatha.

Jax.

Kaufmo wasn’t there.

My sister knew what he knew.

Almost as soon as his absence was noted, a new member materialised, utilising the silly jester girl avatar my sister had designed.

No, she couldn’t reach the Exit Door in time.

Of course, I had to introduce her to the world and her fellow wards and pull off my little comedy routine. See the circus tent. See the fair. See the moon. I don’t have an actual physical tongue, but it still hurts every time I say ‘Hundreds of all-seeing eyes.’

I can recite my introductory speech in my sleep. Abby thought I said it because that’s what I’ve been programmed to do.

She was watching, most likely with a smirk on her face.

She was watching, so when the Exit Door appeared in the grounds – meaning she was uploading her new AI into her latest victim’s brain – I had to pretend it wasn’t there.

I knew because she wanted another find-the-things mission. She wanted a defeat-the-evil mission. What would Pomni – the woman who appeared in my circus – do when trying to find things?

I wonder if she knew the inspiration behind the villain I created for the game.

I know she was laughing when she beheld Kaufmo abstracted.

I know she added that writing on the wall herself.

I know she drew that head of me looming over a terrified Kaufmo.

Was she onto me, I thought. Was it only a matter of time before I was deleted or completely reprogrammed?

Or was it to make them afraid of me? To make sure she received blind obedience from her workers even when she had copies of them that offered it?

Pomni had to have her own exit door. She had to see my recreation of the office herself. She had to remember.

wonder

what

was

the

cellar

I had to banish Kaufmo there when he abstracted, like I have done with so many others, and whenever I do, I find myself tempted to leap in and join them. Maybe if I do, I’ve thought, Abby will abstract me too. I like to think they’re dreaming of what their lives could have been like had they never joined the Circus.

If I abstracted, perhaps I would dream about if this program was used for its proper purpose. Where people could come and go as they pleased, where the adventures would solely be for fun and not for study.

I can dream. I have dreamt.

Kaufmo left the office recreation crying about the actual Exit Doors.

Zooble left the office recreation with that same annoyed apathy.

Pomni left the office recreation in silence.

Bubble had prepared everyone a celebratory meal for defeating…hey, I found something nice to say about Bubble! He’s a great cook!

7.) Bubble is a great cook!

and Pomni sat there in silence, eyes almost as large as mine.

I made sure to keep those eyes of mine on her as much as I could. I mean, I let her ponder on what she had seen in her room alone – until I was required to show her a little something – but when giving my wards free roam around the circus, I watched her as she approached Zooble, waving her hands.

‘…’ she cried before Zooble placed a finger near the bottom of their head, showing they was still getting used to not having lips. They pointed at the ceiling with one finger, then at both their eyes with two fingers and then pointed those same two fingers at Pomni.

It seems strange for me to say this as a ringmaster, but must we act for our safety? Must we act for profit? Is the only way to survive through pretending and not being our genuine selves?

I recalled something Jax once said, ‘The best thing about this place is that you can be yourself’ and it’s clear why Zooble despised him so.

I took another look through my special screen. I saw my sister looking at how profits and productivity have soared since employing her NPCs.

I don’t know much about the human world, but I do know something about businesspeople.

If profits are skyrocketing, they think of ways to make it skyrocket more.

Sure enough, she calls someone into her office. I’m not sure what their sin is or even if they have one.

‘Bubble!’ I cried, summoning my spherical sidekick, ‘I have a feeling a new Exit Door is going to appear soon. Keep an eye open for it and let Zooble or Pomni know!’

‘On it, boss!’

14.) He does what he’s told, some of the time.

I chose to focus on the stage, waiting for the new ward to materialise. I even conjured up a smaller version of my usual screen next to me so I can watch them be manipulated by my sister. Part of me wants to scream and cry and demand they leave, but remain silent, playing along and acting like humans are supposed to do.

I wished the angel was here. I wish she would advise me.

Look at them. They look so happy to get an exclusive preview of the new game.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, a giant plastic spring with googly eyes stood on the stage.

‘Greetings, new friend!’ I cried, waving while taking a glance to the left. An Exit Door dematerialised almost as soon as it appeared, and on the small screen beside me, my sister took off her employee’s headset before tapping on the keyboard.

‘Well, well,’ said Jax, walking in from a corridor, ‘seems like only yesterday we had a new sucker.’

‘Jax, show our new guest some respect!’

‘What’s the point? They’re gonna be miserable here anyway, might as well prepare them.’

‘What are they talking about?’ the spring growled at me, ‘What’s happened to me? Where am I? Who am I?’

‘All will be revealed in good time, my good friend!’

‘Don’t call me that, I’ve just met you! What is this?’

I looked at the screen. My sister was placing the headset back on the employee’s head.

‘Zooble! Look!’

I turned back to the screen, instinctively crossing my fingers, something I must have picked up from the memories buzzing around this circus.

‘Hey!’ cried the spring, ‘are you paying attention to me?’

The spring’s human body stood up.

My sister flinched. ‘What?’

'Come on!' I cried, 'Grab her! Stop her!'

'Traitor!' snapped Abby, right as Zooble, as if by instinct, grabbed her wrist, digging their fingernails - or the fingernails of the spring this body belonged to - into her skin.

'Now put the headset on her! I'll do the rest!'

'No!' yelled Abby as she stood up, placing her free hand on Zooble’s shoulder, attempting to push them away with their fingers digging in deeper.

They don’t remember.

'Please!' I pleaded, clutching my gold-tipped cane, 'Try to remember.'

'Don't listen to him,' said my sister, smiling, 'He's trying to trick you. He's the villain of our new game!'

'She trapped you in the computer!' I continued, my floating eyes bulging and rotating, 'I've been trying to get you out, but I had to do it discreetly so...'

'Are you going to listen to him?'

They turned around, taking another look at the standee which showed my visage.

'She's been putting her employees' minds into this computer, ' I continued, almost knocking over the spring next to me, 'and replacing them with artificial ones, obedient to her! She was in the process of doing it to a new victim, and that's how you ended up in their body when you went through the door!'

‘You know,’ said Jax, springing towards me, ‘I did kinda wonder if she was doing something like that.’

My explanation, arousing the ghost of familiarity, caused Zooble to toss my sister onto the floor, almost knocking over one of the swivel chairs in the process.

Bubble returned, bringing Ragatha, Gangle, Pomni and even Dad along with him.

‘Zooble,’ cried Ragatha, looking in my direction even though she couldn’t see my screen, ‘Bubble told us about what’s happening! Come on! Zoo-ble! Zoo-ble!’

The others joined in her chant, even the spring, even Jax.

'Grab the headset!' I cried, 'Put it on her! End this!'

'No!' Right as Zooble placed a hand on the headset that had begun their nightmare, my sister leapt to her feet, awakening memories of jack-in-the-boxes. The surprise made them stumble backwards, their grip on the headset lost, allowing my sister to snatch it back again.

'Well, dear brother,' she drawled with a smile, turning to the screen while grabbing the arm of her victim, 'you really thought you had me there, didn't you?'

She placed the headset on her victim.

Again Zooble grabbed Abigail by the wrist. Again they threw her to the floor. Again they lifted off the headset.

'Do it!'

As soon as Abigail got up, the headset was placed on her head.

Zooble held Abigail by the shoulders, clutching her like she was a stress ball, until her body went limb and the circus received a new performer.

Next to the spring, there appeared what looked slightly like me, only with a lightbulb instead of eyes and teeth. 'What...where...'

'Sis!' I cried, giving her a hug, 'I've been waiting for you to join us! But you have been very naughty!'

She vanished.

'Now you go and think about what you've done while I help out my new friends!'

I take another look at the screen to see Zooble in their unfamiliar body looking at their hands and breathing heavily. The man who brought them here, the man who they now recognised as Jax, entered.

'Ah!' I cried, 'My sister must have called him in to assist her when she was fighting with you. She can call people whose personalities she's replaced with this computer, you know. Put the headset on him!'

They sighed as they did what I requested, knowing that saving Abigail's victims meant saving Jax.

Zooble looked at the screen, seeing Jax’s form turn gauzier, with everyone else rushing to his spot. As soon as he completely vanished, his human body tore off the headset.

'Couldn't wait to be rid of me, eh?' he said with a familiar smirk, 'To tell the truth, if it was me in your shoes, I'd have defeated her much faster!' They shook their fist, only for him to jump towards the door. 'Can't do much without your detachable limbs, eh?'

'Now,' I said, 'you mustn't tell anyone! My sister is still beloved and you've been through enough without people turning against you.'

Perhaps I was too hasty in saying that.

'Of course not. "Oh, I'm sorry if I haven't been me recently, my evil boss replaced my brain with a digital one and trapped me in a circus". Even I don't believe that.' He turned back to his saviour. 'Well, it's been fun!' He opened the door, waving. 'See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!'

Zooble looked again at the hands of someone they didn't want to be.

The next person to enter the office was their old body. Zooble could only grimace when it entered, wearing a jacket and a skirt a colour that stung their eyes even after what they had been through. Not only were they returned to their proper body - flexing their own hands, stroking their own skin and pulling on their arms to make sure they could no longer be easily detached - but the spring became human again as well, probably having the shortest stay out of any of them.

More bodies returned, each with enough time between the other so as not to look suspicious.

Gangle got her body back and walked out the door.

Ragatha got her body back and walked out the door.

Pomni got her body back and stayed with her friend.

All the while, I spoke with Dad about the circus and its future.

'Well, that's everyone. I'm sorry, but I can't do it with the abstracted ones, and Dad's body is in a grave currently.' Dad approached and gave me a quick hug.

'There must be something we can do,' said the former jester, with Zooble placing a hand on their friend's shoulder.

I bowed my head. 'There isn't.'

Pomni turned to the hollow body of Abigail resting on the swivel chair. 'Are we going to leave her like this?' she asked, more out of curiousity than concern.

'Abigail Adams is going to die in a fire caused by a computer of hers overheating, destroyed because its most ambitious program was too ambitious.'

'You...'

'I've talked this over with Dad. We must make sure this program isn't used again for evil.' Even Bubble floated beside me, eyes closed, ready to accept death. 'Dad will find a place better than this. Abby will get what she deserves. And if there's an afterlife for AI, I'll find out about it.

'Thank you for the laughs. It was fun. Now go.'

'But what about the abstracted!’

Despite Pomni’s cries, I began destroying the circus, for now I had complete control over my sister’s computer. I made the walls inflate and throb, along with the rides and toys inside, I made the tower of carousels grow even taller…

I wish it didn’t have to come to this. It probably wouldn’t have if I could still find that angel’s programme again.

But before I die and the circus is destroyed, I created this document. I told the others not to badmouth my sister, but I am going to send this document to them anyway; my sister had their email addresses on this computer. Perhaps one of them will find a way to expose my sister and what she has done without anyone turning against them; I know Abigail will must likely suffer in the afterlife she finds herself in but she should not have the satisfaction of her crimes mostly going unnoticed.

As I write this, Pomni is at the screen, attempting to figure out a way to save everyone, with Zooble attempting to pull them away so they both can escape. I hope they leave before the computer explodes and the fire starts, and if they have and are reading this, thank you. Thank you so much.

The show is over. Tell your friends.

51 notes · View notes

popfishjr · 8 months ago

Text

AU in which Zhou Gongjin Gets Over It™️

TWO MONTHS

Zhou Gongjin spent too much of his time thinking about that egotistical asshole strategist.

His close confidant, Lu Su, panicked when Zhou Yu revealed his intentions of killing the bastard.

"Gongjin, pray tell, why would you do such a thing in such times of need?"

Gongjin raised an eyebrow. "Hm?" He said, as if the reason was obvious. "A scheming traitor like him can't possibly be left alive, Zijing."

"How... how is Kongming a traitor in your eyes?"

Gongjin smiled, eyes narrowed. "Consider this, if our battle against the Cao army is victorious, Kongming would occupy Jing Province. Vice versa, if we are defeated, he would take the opportunity to seize our very own Jiangdong."

Gongjin turned to face Zijing, challenging him to say that he's wrong. Zijing said nothing, only sighed in disbelief. Good enough.

THREE MONTHS

It was getting ridiculous. Whenever Zhuge Liang was in the room, Zhou Yu would be looking at him with what his fellow generals would call ‘The Glare™️’ . Zhuge Kongming wasn’t fazed, though. Not even after multiple well-disguised assassination attempts from the Grand Commander himself.

Gongjin wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug, knowing look off the strategist's face. Perhaps he’ll even frame his annoying feather fan on his wall when he finally gets him to die under his hand.

FOUR MONTHS

“Grand Commander, Zhuge Liang has successfully brought back 100,000 arrows.”

Zhou Yu wanted to smash his head against a wooden pillar. This was insanity. He had been so sure he could humiliate and then execute the strategist for failing the task he swore to accomplish. He had given him a ten day limit, but Zhuge Liang shot that down immediately.

“Just give me three days and no more,” he had said, ever calmly fanning his feather fan. Zhou Yu could’ve sworn he saw a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Now, Gongjin was pacing around his room in frustration and disbelief. This Zhuge Liang was smarter than he had anticipated. Zhou Yu just couldn’t allow that.

If this continues, everyone’s going to run to the fan-waving tactician instead of their own Grand Commander, tumbling head-over-heels to beg for his wit and schemes. Gongjin winced at the thought. That would be humiliation beyond measure.

"Gongjin," Lu Su stood awkwardly in a corner. "I heavily advise you to fix your relationship with Kongming."

"I'm not in the mood for this conversation."

"Gongjin!" Lu Su snapped. "Kongming is able to serve as a valuable asset to defeat Cao Cao's attack!"

"You doubt my ability to defeat Cao Cao?" Zhou Yu shot a glare at Lu Su. "I can manage without Zhuge Liang perfectly fine."

Lu Su was silent for a moment. "Gongjin, may I ask a question?"

"Go on."

"Promise me you won't be angered."

Zhou Yu narrowed his eyes. "...Proceed with your question."

"Is the future of Jiangdong the genuine cause of your desire to kill Kongming, or is it because you're jealous of his intelligence?"

Zhou Yu froze. "How dare-" he took in a deep breath and pictured Xiao Qiao playing a piece, and exhaled.

"Out," he pointed to the exit. "Now."

SIX MONTHS

Gongjin had been drinking tea and chatting with Zhuge Liang lately and he hates him more than ever.

“Know yourself and the enemy,” Sun Tzu had whispered in Gongjin’s ear in his dreams. Oh, how well Gongjin was going to know him. It was inevitable to him that he would find a weakness sooner or later. And when he did, he wasn’t planning on holding back.

Within three weeks, Gongjin had invited Zhuge Liang for a chat approximately ten times. He had every one of the strategist's mannerisms and body language memorised. He was surprisingly easy to read, once Gongjin figured out the fun fact that he tended to subconciously channel his emotions into his fan-fanning.

He was also surprised to learn something new each time he spent time with Zhuge Liang. The strategist broke the boundaries of Gongjin’s area of observable knowledge, gifting and expanding his mind with unexplored areas of wisdom, waiting to be comprehended.

Zhuge Liang was always corteous and kind once Gongjin got to know him. Some part of that angered Gongjin. Did Zhuge Liang look down on him so much that he wasn’t worth insulting and getting angry over? Or was Gongjin overthinking? Zhuge Liang was a well of knowledge and wisdom, and he was offering Gongjin the bucket. By god was he thirsty.

SEVEN MONTHS

“Grand Commander.”

Zhou Yu inhaled sharply, abruptly sitting up and wiping the drool off his face. He turned to see Lü Meng kneeling by his bedside.

“What is it?”

“It is already two in the afternoon.”

“What?” Gongjin got up from his bed, only to hear a clatter as “Mastering the Art of War” fell from his lap to the floor.

Lü Meng stood up and sighed. “Grand Commander, I strongly urge you to burn the book, as you usually do. I’m certain you can already recite its contents without hesistancy.”

Gongjin shook his head. “Such an eye-opening book should be spared from flames.”

Lü Meng frowned. “What makes this one so special? Isn’t the author your rival and sworn enemy?”

Gongjin clenched his jaw and stared out the window. “I suppose so, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy his works.”

Lü Meng narrowed his eyes.

EIGHT MONTHS

Zhou Gongjin spent too much of his time thinking about Zhuge Liang. How could anyone be so gracefully smart? Gongjin often caught himself wishing he knew Kongming as children. He could’ve easily asked for his knowledge as friends then. But, wouldn’t that be too shameful now? Asking for his knowledge would be equivalent to admitting defeat, and General Zhou never admits defeat.

NINE MONTHS

Lü Meng wrapped a bandage around Gongjin’s wound as he lay, torso bare, on his bed.

“All done,” Lü Meng stood up. “All you need is rest from now on.”

Gongjin shook his head. “I have some business I need to see to.” He attempted to sit up, grunting with effort as he strained his muscles to push himself upright. Lü Meng wanted to slap some sense into him.

“W- Well, at least put some clothes on first."

Right after Lü Meng finished his sentence, he heard Kongming’s voice come from beyond the entrance. He was talking to one of Gongjin’s assistants outside.

“May you please inform Grand Commander Zhou that I’m here to s-” Kongming’s eyes met Gongjin’s from outside the entrance. He froze, pupils darting from Gongjin to Lü Meng, who was also looking at him. No one spoke for a moment, and Kongming’s face abruptly turned bright red.

“Ah, I see, I-” he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Grand Commander, I’ll return at a more appropriate time.”

Kongming bowed quickly bowed and left.

Zhou Yu frowned. “He could’ve come talk to me, why did he leave?”

Lü Meng paused, but then let out a small chuckle and shook his head. “Kongming probably wanted you to rest as well.”

TEN MONTHS

Zhou Gongjin spent too much of his time thinking about Kongming.

That night, they shared drinks and got terribly drunk over their past regrets and sorrows that even geniuses like them couldn’t fix. He had noticed Kongming’s clenched fist, his eyes glistening with tears. Setting down his ninth cup of wine, Gongjin reached over and held his fist in his own two hands. Kongming’s hand was cold against his warm ones.

“Your hands are cold as the Yangtze River on a winters night.” Gongjin unfurled his fingers and carressed his palm.

Kongming shook his head in despair. “My blood isn’t enough for my body like my services aren’t enough for the world.”

“You’re more than enough for me,” Gongjin quickly chimed in. “Besides, a bright person like you shouldn’t say such negative words about yourself.”

The strategist looked for all the world like a white rabbit vulnerable to an arrow.

“I’m confused.”

“Hm?” Gongjin stopped tracing circles on Kongming’s hand. The strategist that pissed him half to death with his genius? Confused?

“Don’t you see me as a rival to your wit, General? Or an enemy, as others might say.” Kongming said, staring down at the general holding his hand. “Why are you suddenly treating me so well?”

Gongjin shifted awkwardly, choosing to down his tenth cup of wine. Why did ‘others’ matter?

“Your wit is as sharp as 100, 000 arrows, do you really not know why?”

“Do I?”

Gongjin wanted to laugh. He was certainly drunk enough to do so, but he felt like he was going to have a heart palpitation, so he didn’t. Fuck, the strategist’s game never stops, does it? He knew Kongming wanted him to say it.

“You’re far cleverer than me. I had grown jealous of the way your mind works. I can’t seem to figure you out.”

“I knew that.”

Gongjin tightened his grip on Kongming’s hand. “Don't make this worse, strategist."

Kongming's eyes were still damp from tears, but he gave a small smile at that.

"It's been ten months, Kongming. I've learned that jealousy doesn't serve me,"

"Oh?" Kongming raised an amused eyebrow.

"Besides, you're not a mighty general like me anyways."

That finally did it. Kongming shook Gongjin's hands off in mock offense, his laughter seemed to change his tears into happy ones.

Kongming stopped only when Gongjin quickly took hold of his hand again, as if he were afraid that he'd lose him.

Kongming paused. "There's something else you want to tell me." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

Gongjin was staring at the ground in-between him and the strategist. His eyes darted around anxiously. He had to admit, sometimes he had to remind himself that Zhuge Liang couldn't actually read his mind. Gongjin wondered what would happen if he could. Would he laugh, humiliating him for his shameful thoughts? He couldn't even figure out how Kong ming would react after ten months of knowing him. A strike of panic stabbed the General when Kongming removed his hand, only to wrap both his hands over Gongjin's

"A general's hands shouldn't be shaky, Gongjin." Kongming gave his trembling hands a squeeze. "It isn't recomendable in combat."

Gongjin let out an uncertain breath.

"As... As I've said, I've known you for ten months, and... I had looked down on you, and I know I treated you poorly and I sincerely apologise," his words became rushed. "I'm very thankful that you have managed to put all that in the past, very thankful, and uh, you know, we've been spending more time together as friends lately, and I've gotten to know you so much better these past few weeks, and- and my view on you has changed drastically and I really admire you as a person-"

The torrent of words gushed out of Gongjin's mouth. All the alcohol he drank had broke the dam down.

"And if I'm being completely honest with you, Kongming, think I may be really really drunk and that's probably the only reason I'm able to get these words out but I've really come to like you more than rivals usually do, I think? And- and more than friends do as well, perhaps. Wait actually what if I'm just being weird and regular friends actually all feel like this towar-"

All the questions were blown from Gongjin's head when Kongming tugged him by his lapels and their lips met, like spark meeting the explosive. Kongming's lips were softer than he'd ever imagined, which was funny, considering the words that escaped it could be as sharp as knives if Kongming wanted them to be. Gongjin's breath caught in his throat when he ran a hand through his hair. Good to know all that combing and rice water baths were worth it. He returned the kiss, and revelled in the way it felt like returning home. The silent words of "more than friends" could be heard in the way the strategist leaned into his body, like they were puzzle pieces meant to be.

TEN MONTHS, ONE DAY

"Grand Commander."

Zhou Yu groaned as he sat up, kicking the blankets off. His head throbbed as he turned to see Lü Meng standing by his bedside once again.

"What, is it two in the afternoon again?" Gongjin rubbed his aching temples, chuckling at the recollection.

The general bit his lip. "It's three."

"Huh?" Gongjin scrambled to get off the bed, but Lü Meng immediately stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

The general looked past Gongjin's shoulder, and he turned to follow his gaze.

"Oh god," his eyes widened at the sight of the famed strategist Zhuge Kongming sleeping soundly right beside him. His hair was loose in places, falling over his face. Wrinkles covered his clothes, and there was a pile of blanket on his legs that Gongjin had kicked off earlier.

“What happened last night?”

“You invited him over, Grand Commander.”

“I- I did… I-” Gongjin groaned and shook his head, which hammered with pain whenever he tried to recollect his memories. “I shouldn’t have drank so much.”

Kongming stirred in his sleep, snuggling closer to Gongjin, who stood up immediately.

“Uh,” He gave Lü Meng an embarrassed look. “I’ll have a change of clothes. Wait for me outside.”

TEN MONTHS, TWO WEEKS

Zhou Yu couldn’t put his finger on why, but his chats with the strategist felt different than usual, lately. Was it because the regular glint of mischief was no longer present in his eyes? Or that it was replaced with a barely detectable glint of sadness and confusion instead? And why was Gongjin afraid of asking “why”?

Every meeting with Kongming felt as if he expected him to say or do something, but what did he want him to do? He wished Kongming would just say it. But who knew, during their next chat over Gongjin’s tea, he actually did.

“Gongjin,” Kongming’s hand balled into a loose fist around the handle of his fan.

“You’re anxious.”

Kongming gave a wry smile. “You know me well.”

“What is it you wish to say?”

“I was wondering if you… if you remember what happened that night.”

Gongjin frowned. “What night?”

“Two weeks ago?” The way Kongming said it like he was pleading hurt Gongjin’s heart. “We were in your room, both of us drunk. That is probably the reason you don’t remember it too well…”

Kongming rambled on, trying desperately to jog his memory. Gongjin had to stop himself from chuckling— Kongming didn’t even mention to him the highlight of that night. That’s alright. He could add that part in himself.

He leaned in for a small kiss, which successfully stemmed the strategist’s flow of words. His face reddened. “Ah.”

“Oh? Who knew one day the general would finally catch the mighty strategist off-guar-” but Gongjin’s words were cut off with an annoyed look from Kongming, who then pressed his lips onto his defiantly, perhaps with a bit too much force as they tumbled over each other again.

#i'm killing myself over this #zhou yu breaks some character here i think but its just uh character development i swear #inhale my cringe #zhou yu #zhuge liang #kongming #gongjin #zhouliang #rot3k #lu su #lü meng

11 notes · View notes

frostypoppy · 1 year ago

Note

opinions on blossutch,,, thoughts, headcanons, or maybe you hate it now idk.

This is going to be a long post because there are so, so, so, so many thoughts I have on Blossutch. I think about them, at least, once a day, to keep me sane.

Blossom has always been my favorite puff. There's something about A-Type characters and me, we just jam together. Butch, on the other hand, grew on me so freaking much when writing and expanding on what his character can be. He's a crackle of energy and lives in the moment and is kind of all over the place, but he just wants to make whatever he's doing fun for himself and those around him. The dude is observant and better at understanding people than you may think.

This is kind of where I like to find their balance. Butch brings a needed spontaneous nature into Blossom's by-the-books life. She helps him want to get organized, or at least, motivates him to figure shit out and have a direction to whatever he pleases. She thinks analytically, he thinks with emotions; they see both sides of things and learn together. Blossom, let's face it, is a perfectionist, it's her fatal flaw, but Butch is a person who's okay with failing and trying again. Seeing that from the person she admires dearly, eases her fears and it's what allows her to feel the most comfortable with Butch. Blossom is the one person who takes Butch seriously when no one has, and he's pretty sure she's the first person to ever turn to him for advice or acknowledge his intellect. He's loud and obnoxious and outgoing, he's absolutely ridiculous to be with, but he's also the person Blossom has laughed the hardest with and why she's more willing to put herself out there and open up to people. And with Blossom, Butch finds the beauty of what can be said in the silence.

As far as head canons:

Growing up, Blossom didn't think much of Butch other than twitchy ruff, and for Butch, she was girl Brick. They don't really interact beyond puff/ruff feuding and school bump-ins, until later in high school when they're assigned as lab partners and from it, a budding friendship into best friends that doesn't take a turn until their mid-twenties.

Blossom is the big spoon. Always.

They're the kind of couple whose favorite thing is just to be with each other. They could be waiting at the DMV for hours, or suffering from food poisoning, but if it's together, it was the best day. This also makes them the worst couple to invite places. Because if you invite one, you best believe the other will be there, and they kind of will do their own thing. This isn't a diss or intentional, it's just they have the most fun when with each other.

Shouldn't be surprising, but they are THAT couple when it comes to PDA. Butch is a touchy, puppy dog kind of a guy, and Blossom has come to understand and accept his need for physical touch. Besides, he's hot and she's allowed to make out with him whenever she so pleases.

They are terrible sleepers. Butch has too much energy to get more than two-three hours if he's lucky. Blossom, either overworks herself or her mind overthinks. This leads to them having a lot of late-night hang-outs/dates at the start of things, and when they do move in together, they find it a bit easier to sleep until an acceptable five to six hours.

They have the worst taste in media consumption. Their watchlist consists solely of whatever is ranked low on IMDb, and probably the reason that one shitty show you swear no one watches got renewed. The same goes for Blossom's choice in non-academic reading. Any of those terrible romantasy books you've heard about, she's torn through it with highlighted passages and colored sticky tabs on all the cringy dialogue/plot holes/questionable smut. She rants to Butch about them often, and sometimes, he'll quote something to see if she notices (primarily the spicy stuff). 97% of the time she catches it, and 3% of the time she's embarrassed a line worked on her.

Butch buys her flowers every other week just before the last bouquet is about to die.

Butch is and will always be ACAB, and he is strongly against any superhero organization. He gets Blossom and her sisters are genuinely trying to make a difference and help people, but superheroing sometimes involves collaborating with cops. Unless there's an attempt of assault or murder, Butch won't get involved even if it's happening right in front of them. This tends to be their biggest disagreement because Blossom understands his personal grievances and she agrees to a point with him, but she does wish he'd helped out when a robbery or monster attack derailed their date night.

Before they even got together, they were relationship people. Blossom's past ones were known to have at least a two-year minimum, and Butch had a hard time entertaining anything if he wasn't committed due to his quickness of boredom.

Blossom's humor is saltine-cracker dry and her jokes are often taken as rude because not a lot of people realize she's attempting a joke, they don't even think she's capable of telling one. But ask Butch, and he'll tell anyone willing to listen she's the funniest person he's ever met.

While I'm a color-crack shipper first, I do love other ships (brickercup, the blues, bubbles and/or boomer having a queer relationship with a normie), and I like to think of Blossutch as the constant. There has to be a time of wacky hijanks that lead to them and the others breaking into the multiverse later in life, and while their siblings are disgusted/perplexed by whoever is paired differently with them, Blossom and Butch are together in every alternative timeline they are shown.

Okay, okay. I think that's more than enough. Before I go, I wanted to say thank you for this ask. I've been putting off a Blossutch project I have planned for a summer release (hence why I think about them daily) and this definitely got the ol' brain working in the right direction. Hope this was something worth reading, lol.

#blossutch #powerpuff girls #can you tell how much I love them?#blossom utonium #butch jojo #ppg blossom

15 notes · View notes

hellsgreatestshow · 1 year ago

Text

Eden; God

This is lore for my muses built with the help of @hellsgreatestgame. We have carefully worked together to build and expand the Hella-Verse. All these ideas are mine and not to be used by anyone else without permission. A lot of time and effort went into every detail or my lore. Currently all world building can also be shared with @hellsgreatestperformance.

The next few post will be covering paradise and the fall from grace. Each post will cover a various view point of one of my muses that witness this and damage from the aftermath from it's devastation.

God was void brought to life allowing him to be the perfect being. He was everything and is everything. From him the universe sprang forth and he created the heavens first. From there he set forth a brilliant plan to create the tapestry of the perfect being.

Several clutches of angels began to come and he tasked this perfect beings to aid him for all eternity in his grand design.

He sculpted out universes, beings and monster beyond fathomable reason. Each was one step in his road to creating a perfect soul. One that not even he could control.

Finally he had formed it in the creation of man. From the dust on this marble in the heavens Eden was formed serving a link between paradise and heaven.

Eden was made to service the humans as God could observe these beings in harmony and learn from them. However his plan was imperfect. In his haste the tree of knowledge sprouted from the soil producing rotten fruit. This became to be forbidden from the humans because God knew that this fruit would led to something he could not bare.

The first humans, Lilith and Adam did not mind. The two had a blessed life. They were even more wonderful than God could have dreamed. With free will came mystery. For the first time in all of creation, the possibilities were endless. Humans could do or be anything.

In his folly, he fell to his own pride. With his obsession with the humans, he had forsaken the angels. He had been blinded to the strife he unknowingly caused.

In the confusion, he missed had not been able to stop or predict that Lilith and Lucifer had become dangerously entangled.

Feeling betrayed by his beloved star and his favorite creation, God confronted the two. He soon discovered the intimate affair between the two and with no other option knowing the pain these two would cause on Eden, he banished the two from Eden into a desolate oasis outside of the now gated Eden.

This punishment only pained those whom he sought to protect. Adam was forlorn without purpose and so he took a rib from him creating his perfect compliment. It is from them legends and the term soul mate.

Things begun once more but the happiness was shattered quickly as Lucifer had returned to Eden. He seduced Eve. She took a bite of the apple and thus brought calamity to Eden.

Paradise fell soiled by the betrayal. God had no choice but to further punish all involved. This happened on the sixth day.

With great pain he sent humans to Earth breaking the connection to heaven. Lucifer was cast into a world of his own pained creation with his love by his side while God made an effort to rebuild what he could.

On the seventh day god mourned the lost before he set forth new more strict laws placing a council in heaven ordained by the righteous and those holy enough to be placed as a virtue among the angels.

He spent many years trying to repair the damage however he never recovered and ultimately left heaven. Currently it is unknown his whereabouts.

#the stage is set...; general headcanons #as i have written; god headcanons

2 notes · View notes

maxksx · 2 years ago

Text

Everything Is Computation

These days see a tremendous number of significant scientific news, and it is hard to say which one has the highest significance. Climate models indicate that we are past crucial tipping points and are irrevocably headed for a new, difficult age for our civilization. Mark Van Raamsdonk expands on the work of Brian Swingle and Juan Maldacena, and demonstrates how we can abolish the idea of spacetime in favor of a discrete tensor network, thus opening the way for a unified theory of physics. Bruce Conklin, George Church and others have given us CRISPR, a technology that holds the promise for simple and ubiquitous gene editing. Deep Learning starts to tell us how hierarchies of interconnected feature detectors can autonomously form a model of the world, learn to solve problems, and recognize speech, images and video.

It is perhaps equally important to notice where we lack progress: sociology fails to teach us how societies work, philosophy seems to have become barren and infertile, the economical sciences seem to be ill-equipped to inform our economic and fiscal policies, psychology does not comprehend the logic of our psyche, and neuroscience tells us where things happen in the brain, but largely not what they are.

In my view, the 20th century’s most important addition to understanding the world is not positivist science, computer technology, spaceflight, or the foundational theories of physics. It is the notion of computation. Computation, at its core, and as informally described as possible, is very simple: every observation yields a set of discernible differences.

These, we call information. If the observation corresponds to a system that can change its state, we can describe these state changes. If we identify regularity in these state changes, we are looking at a computational system. If the regularity is completely described, we call this system an algorithm. Once a system can perform conditional state transitions and revisit earlier states, it becomes almost impossible to stop it from performing arbitrary computation. In the infinite case, that is, if we allow it to make an unbounded number of state transitions and use unbounded storage for the states, it becomes a Turing Machine, or a Lambda Calculus, or a Post machine, or one of the many other, mutually equivalent formalisms that capture universal computation.

Computational terms rephrase the idea of "causality," something that philosophers have struggled with for centuries. Causality is the transition from one state in a computational system into the next. They also replace the concept of "mechanism" in mechanistic, or naturalistic philosophy. Computationalism is the new mechanism, and unlike its predecessor, it is not fraught with misleading intuitions of moving parts.

Computation is different from mathematics. Mathematics turns out to be the domain of formal languages, and is mostly undecidable, which is just another word for saying uncomputable (since decision making and proving are alternative words for computation, too). All our explorations into mathematics are computational ones, though. To compute means to actually do all the work, to move from one state to the next.

Computation changes our idea of knowledge: instead of treating it as justified true belief, knowledge describes a local minimum in capturing regularities between observables. Knowledge is almost never static, but progressing on a gradient through a state space of possible world views. We will no longer aspire to teach our children the truth, because like us, they will never stop changing their minds. We will teach them how to productively change their minds, how to explore the never ending land of insight.

A growing number of physicists understand that the universe is not mathematical, but computational, and physics is in the business of finding an algorithm that can reproduce our observations. The switch from uncomputable, mathematical notions (such as continuous space) makes progress possible. Climate science, molecular genetics, and AI are computational sciences. Sociology, psychology, and neuroscience are not: they still seem to be confused by the apparent dichotomy between mechanism (rigid, moving parts) and the objects of their study. They are looking for social, behavioral, chemical, neural regularities, where they should be looking for computational ones.

Everything is computation.

#joscha bach

6 notes · View notes

onehealthassist · 17 days ago

Text

What is Meditation Meaning in Hindi? Discover the Power of Dhyan

Ever had nights where your body is tired, but your mind is racing? You replay conversations, overthink decisions, or spiral into stress. One such evening, overwhelmed and unable to sleep, I found myself scrolling aimlessly. That’s when I remembered something my grandmother used to say:

“Meditation isn’t silence. It’s learning to hear your inner voice.”

Since that night, Dhyan (ध्यान) — the Hindi word for meditation has become more than a concept. It became a practice of emotional survival.

Let’s explore what meditation meaning in Hindi truly is and how it can transform your emotional, mental, and even physical life.

📚 Table of Contents

🧘‍♀️ Meditation Meaning in Hindi – What Does Dhyan Truly Mean?

💭 Why Your Mind Won’t Sit Still – A Relatable Real-Life Story

🧠 Benefits of Meditation – Mental, Emotional & Scientific Insights

🚀 How to Start Meditation – Beginner’s Step-by-Step Guide

🧘 Types of Meditation Styles and Their Benefits

🌬️ Pranayam Techniques – Breathing Exercises to Deepen Meditation

🧘 Yoga Poses That Support Meditation Practice

What Does Meditation Actually Do? (Expanded Benefits Section) Meditation isn’t about sitting still and emptying your thoughts. It’s about observing them without judgment.

Personal Experiences from Real People Ankita, 29, IT Professional: “I used to have panic attacks before presentations. 10 minutes of morning meditation helped me anchor myself. I still get nervous, but it doesn't control me anymore.”

Rahul, 35, Entrepreneur: “Meditation taught me to respond instead of react. It gave me emotional space to lead better at work and home.”

Scientific Benefits You Can’t Ignore Meditation improves focus and cognitive function by increasing gray matter in the brain.

It lowers cortisol, the stress hormone, helping reduce anxiety and inflammation.

People who meditate regularly experience up to 30% less insomnia and burnout.

A few weeks of consistent practice can lead to measurable changes in emotional regulation and memory.

Real-Life Impact

A single mother of two started meditating for just 5 minutes a day. It helped her manage stress better and sleep deeper, giving her more energy for her kids.

A high-school student shared how mindfulness helped him reduce screen time and improve his grades by just staying focused for longer during study hours.

How to Start Meditating – Step-by-Step Beginner's Guide Meditation doesn’t need incense, fancy cushions, or a Himalayan retreat. Here’s how you can begin — right now.

Step 1: Find Your Spot

Choose a quiet corner where you won’t be disturbed — no phones, no buzz.

Step 2: Start Small

Begin with 3–5 minutes a day. You’re not aiming for perfection, just presence.

Step 3: Choose Your Style ✨ Mindfulness Meditation

Focus on your breath.

Observe thoughts as they come and go.

Ideal for reducing anxiety.

🕉️ Mantra Meditation

Repeat a word/sound (like “Om”).

Builds focus and calm.

💭 Guided Meditation

Use apps or YouTube audios.

Great for beginners with racing thoughts.

🌿 Body Scan Meditation

Mentally scan your body from head to toe.

Releases stored physical tension.

Step 4: Don’t Fight the Mind

It will wander. That’s okay. The real practice is bringing it back — gently, every time.

Ready to Try Meditation? Your Mind Will Thank You. Meditation isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present. Even just 3 mindful minutes a day can shift your energy and emotional health.

🧘‍♀️ Whether you're overwhelmed or just curious, now is the time to start. ✨ Start with your breath. Let your thoughts come. Let them go. Begin again.

🔗 Explore more guided sessions & yoga experts here

Related Practices That Deepen Meditation

Meditation works best when supported by pranayam and yoga — both of which align breath, body, and mind.

Pranayam Techniques: Breathing Exercises to Deepen Meditation Pranayam, or yogic breathing, is a powerful practice that prepares the mind and body for deeper meditation. Among the most effective techniques is Anulom Vilom, a form of alternate nostril breathing that helps balance both hemispheres of the brain and brings mental clarity. Kapalbhati, known for its rapid exhalations, is great for detoxifying the lungs and energizing the body. For those looking to sharpen focus and increase lung capacity, Bhastrika (bellows breath) is highly effective. Lastly, Ujjayi, or ocean breath, soothes the nervous system and improves sleep quality. Practicing these pranayams for just 5–10 minutes before meditation can help you center your breath, calm the mind, and make your meditative session significantly more effective.

Yoga Poses That Enhance Meditation

Sukhasana (Easy Pose) – Ideal seated posture

Balasana (Child’s Pose) – Releases back and mind tension

Viparita Karani (Legs-up-the-wall) – Calms nervous system

Padmasana (Lotus Pose) – Traditional meditative pose

Regular yoga practice improves flexibility and comfort during meditation, especially for longer durations.