#lemony post

[fantasyandthereal]

"I think you'd enjoy a market trip if you came along though. But Whole Foods does have really good pizza, so I'll give you a pass on our overpriced grocery deliveries." He pressed himself between her thighs as she peppered him with kisses. "Yes, ma'am. Just being helpful and giving you options. Now I can keep kissing you and use my hands or service you? Your choice since I'm such a martyr as you said."

"No, thank you. Call me spoiled, but I enjoy my grocery delivery from Whole Foods." Stella joked back, breaking into giggles when he nuzzled against her. Her arms wrapped around him and her legs opened more to accommodate him between them "Yeah yeah, you're such a martyr."

"Maybe. But I don't know if I'd want to work with them. I'd probably pass them off to another colleague. But I can do that, after they apologize for being rude and lying. But stop thinking about them. Think only about me now." She said kissing after each sentence.

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[starboundsingularities]

what if i told you i'm making this a series

similar posts: 0 | 1

[lunamonchtuna]

when lemony snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every tuesday” brb gotta jump off the roof

[fantasyandthereal]

Jonathan had just got back from Africa, having a photography contract to fill for one of the magazines he worked for. He’d been mainly in Gola Rainforest and Outamba Kilimi National Parks for the last two months, busy as usual. It had gone well up until he was charged for a return home. Two weeks of quarantine, lost luggage, late layovers… The works. So he’d been in quite the sour mood last when he’d spoken with his girlfriend a few hours ago.

“Well… I was jet-lagged and frustrated with the airline misrouting half of my photography lenses and my clothes during the layover at LaGuardia. And the quarantine back in Sierra Leone. But this is definitely helping, Dani.”

muse: Dani Somers - bartender/stripper open: m/f/nb connection: fwb, roommates, sibling/parents significant other, customer, anything tbh plot: just some smutty fun.

"I thought you were never going to come home," Dani said as she finally seen the familiar face walk through the door. She had been sitting in a new lingerie set just for them. She knew things had been stressful for them lately and she just wanted to do something that could relieve some of that. "What do you think?"

[free-my-boy-grumbot]

what if the volunteer fire department had tumblr

0 notes

🕯️thelightershop

"All my troubles on a burning pile, all lit up and I start to smile"

another firestarter aesthetic moodboard for you guys<3 sorry i havent been posting lately, its been really hectic

🪵damocles-dame

"firestarter aesthetic"...

at this point i'm convinced half of the "firestarter community" is just kids who like to play with lighters. you people are a joke

🧨fag-starter

ishmael is not gonna fuck you bro

🧯dawnpatrolled

my brother in christ my parents literally perished in a fire. by firestarters. because they opposed firestarters. please go outside for once

#this is the post that had to be cut short #bc you can only have up to 30 images </3 #i might make the rest of the discourse at some point #who knows #anyways put that fourth wall back up smh

24, 416 notes

📇anna-karen-nina

does anyone know what the fuck is even going on with the volunteers fighting disease

📔incomplete-historian

HUH???? WHUH?????

📚de-noue-moment

DO THE VOLUNTEERS FIGHTING DISEASE…… THINK THEYRE THE ACTUAL VFD???????? DO THEY KNOW ABOUT US???????

#surely they have to #right? #right?????? #vfd

1, 348 notes

🧨fag-starter

she volunteer on my fire til i depart

#god. what am i doing here

345, 560 notes

👁️unfortunate-scholar

ok yeah i’m new here but why do the tunnel signs only ever say surnames on them?? it's the current year, you'd think they'd realise that it's confusing to have 8 different signs that all say "snicket"

🎻variousfilms

It's a secret organisation dumbass. do you want them to put their fucking credit card number on as well?? their mothers maiden name?? their list of fears?????

👁️unfortunate-scholar

BUT A SURNAME IS OK?? oh yeah they'll never be able to tell who Montgomery is. jfc at least use codenames or something. where is ishmael anyway isnt he supposed to be in charge of this shit

📖very-frightened-dowager

you're not gonna believe this

28 notes

🎆embers-sanrio-blog

ok but you people know that the “great unknown” isn't a thing right. It's not a coincidence that it only ever attacks people who are trying to leave/have wronged Ishmael at some point. This man is literally killing people in the water how are there still volunteers

#sanrio #my melody #cute #cutecore #sanriocore #pastel #discourse #firestarter #firestarters #volunteers dni #ishmael #vfd #vfd dni

148, 142 notes

📔incomplete-historian

just met a little volunteer kid that didn’t even know who ishmael was. like man maybe i am old

#whos even running prufrock now. no one knows

57 notes

🧨fag-starter

scratching my tattoo like a dog clawing at its collar

🎻variousfilms

arsonist

🧨fag-starter

are you new here

14, 563 notes

[tippenfunkaport]

Because my brain is goo, I completely forgot I had this art of Glimbow sharing a bonding moment while live on DT's show Troubled Nights I got from @lemony-bunny a while ago. It's from the most recent scene in my Musician AU: It's Not Me, It's You. 

The artist was concerned there'd be backlash if people couldn't tell that Glimmer and Bow were POC with the TV lighting so I promised I would also post the version with no lighting so there was no confusion so here that is:

[fantasyandthereal]

Martin hated having people sneak up behind him. Most of the time anyway. Kira was the glaring exception. How he’d landed a fine, upstanding, gal like the art teacher, he’d never understand. Mobsters weren’t supposed to have wives and girlfriend who were squeaky clean. Well, at least professionally so. Kira was such a firecracker at home. This morning was no exception.

“Kiki, behave. At least let me put down the spatula before you try to climb me like a tree.”

@fantasyandthereal asked '[ kitchen counter ] our muses have sex on top of the kitchen counter (Kira and Martin)'

Kira was the last to wake up when she saw Martin in the kitchen. He was making breakfast. He was incredibly sweet. But, Kira still wanted more. She craved him. She gingerly crept behind him, and wrapped her hands over his eyes. "Morning, my lover," she whispered against his ear as she let her teeth lightly graze his lobes. "Thank you for making breakfast, but I'm hungry for something else," she stated in a sultry tone. Her hands now moved lower and lightly rubbed his covered cock. "I need you now, baby," she murmured with a devious grin etched upon her features and a gleam in her eyes. Before she leaned in and captured his lips with hers, in a scorching kiss.

[bellacatt-art]

☆ The Bad Beginning ☆

Honestly for this piece, I was heavily inspired by the title cards from the 2004 movie and I'm very happy with how it turned out :)

[l4yl4xoxo]

For Beatrice —

I would much prefer if you were alive and well.

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[asouefanworkevent]

another fall is upon us! another woevember is coming!!

what is it?

woevember is an asoue fanwork event week, that will take place from november 10th through november 16th, 2024. every day of the week is dedicated to a different part of a series of unfortunate events or all the wrong questions for you to create something about! this year's theme is objects!

what do i do?

the prompts will be revealed now, so everyone has time to make something. between now and the week of november 10th, you’ll create fanworks about the prompts, and then post it on the corresponding day during november 10th - 16th! there will be the occasional countdown post between then and now too, so we all know how many days are left until posting begins.

don’t forget to tag this tumblr (asouefanworkevent) in the post so i can find it and reblog it, and tag the post with #woevember !

what do you mean by fanwork?

everything! fanfic and fanart are of course allowed, but woevember has always been meant to be an event that is as big or as little effort as you want! fanwork also means edits, gifs, analysis posts, headcanons!! your cosplay!! your photography!! your photosets!! your web weaving!! your moodboards!! your super short fics!! your sketchiest drawings!! your most ramble-y half-fic idea posts!! your wip scenes!! you merely saying ‘lemony snicket, though. am i right?????’ (and you are. you’re so right.) your loving macaroni art!! your embroidery!! your sculpture!! whatever you are moved to make from the prompts! i want people to be encouraged to and be able to create even something small that didn’t exist before for the snicketverse, and share it with other people!

are there any rules?

to keep the event open and comfortable for everyone, no explicit content. also, as always, sibling romance and age gaps will not be tolerated.

do i have to make something for every day?

only if you want to! feel free to just make something for one day if you want :) the point of having a different theme for each day is so some part of canon that you like comes up eventually, and you can at least make something for one of the days. or you get struck by an idea you might not have considered before! i want to get people thinking about all the intriguing things in asoue and atwq and the exciting, different ways we can interpret and create from the same idea.

what are the prompts?

the description under each prompt is just some ideas to get your brain going – feel free to take them in another direction too! whatever you want to come up with!!

november 10th - violet's inventions

the grappling hook! the toaster in the clock! the rock retrieval device! the bobblehead train stopper! even just lockpicking, and violet's ribbon, too! what else do you think violet has made, pre-canon or during canon? what does she make now? post-canon, does she have a job that relates to inventing? does she still invent in her spare time?

november 11th - the sugar bowl

the mysterious sugar bowl! lives have been lost in the quest to find it and it's important to both the snickets and the baudelaires, so says esme. where is it now? what was its importance? what was inside it? where was it during canon, before canon? who has had it before? did anyone have it before esme? what does it look like? how does it keep its contents safe? when was it first used? did it make it to the hotel denouement? is anyone still searching for it? what if it wasn't stolen?

november 12th - disguises

both the firestarters and the firefighters have used disguises --the same disguises, supplied by vfd. what other kinds of disguises have each side used, and for what ends? was a disguise ever seen through at the wrong time, or the right time? was a disguise ever NOT seen through when it should have been? even the disguises beatrice wore when she acted on stage, or the cow disguise worn by jacques snicket, or the denouement triplets pretending to be each other, what does it mean to wear a disguise and what do you do when you wear one? do the baudelaires, or the quagmires, ever wear disguises again? do frank and ernest ever pretend to be each other post-canon?

november 13th - the bombinating beast

our beloved statue the size of a milk bottle, valued upwards of a great deal of money! where do you think it is now? what did lemony do with it when he left stain'd-by-the-sea? who used it before canon? do the baudelaires ever encounter it? does it make its way back to stain'd-by-the-sea? and where is the bombinating beast itself now?

november 14th - books

lemony's a series of unfortunate events books do, after all, exist in asoue canon itself! what does vfd think of the books? who's read them? or books like the unauthorized autobiography, and the beatrice letters, and lemony's childrens books, what place might they have in canon? for all the wrong questions, who's read them? they were filed at vfd headquarters, after all. how many members of vfd know what lemony did during his apprenticeship? or books like caviar: salty jewel of the tasty sea, or stain'd myths, or lemony's pamphlets on the accordion, or even the classic children's lit books, like the ramona series by beverly cleary, and their place inside canon and especially vfd? or even beatrice and bertrand's a series of unfortunate events, the journal they contribute to on the island. who else has written in that journal?

november 15th - the duchess of winnipeg's ring

the ring that went from the duchess, to lemony, to beatrice, to back to lemony, to kit, to bertrand, to beatrice, to the box she kept it in, to widdershins as he searched the ruins of the baudelaire mansion, to ishmael when it washed up on the island, to violet, and to the second beatrice, who traded it to a shepherd for a yak ride. what other adventures has it been on? does the duchess ever get it back again? why did beatrice keep it in a box -- a box that kit's grandfather made the code for? what has the rest of the duchess' family done with it? what does it mean to them?

november 16th - free space!

do you have another object in mind? the spyglass, one of klaus's books, or sunny's meals, or the harpoon gun, or ellington's record player, or cleo's chemistry equipment, or something like the medusoid mycelium? the laudanum? all the things esme says are in or out? the baudelaire fortune? the quagmire sapphires? the fabled tito puente records? the ruins of the baudelaire mansion and what else might be there? all those objects mrs. bass had her students measure? jake hix's meals? cleo's car, or the bellerophon taxi? the vfd taxi? gustav's films, or the sebald code? violet's bread knife? kit's book raft? commonplace books? do you want to combine any of these objects with one of the previous days and create something with two objects for one of the previous days? so many options!! or do you care not for objects! use the free space to write about the item or character or relationship or thought or whatever of your choosing! feel free to pick a theme from a previous woevember event for the free space, if you'd like!

if you have any questions about anything, feel free to drop me an ask or a message!

happy creating, and i hope to see lots of you november 10th-16th!! ✨

[soup-charades]

in memoriam universe anachronism just so Ellwood could etch ‘darling, dearest, dead’ on Gaunt’s grave

[veryfashionabledesigns]

Someday when I'm not in grad school I want to write an asoue au where the Baudelaires return from the Island to find the world in disarray from a strain of the medusoid mycellium that turns people into zombies. It can be cured with horseradish but the supply is controlled by the sinister duo, who sell it at extortionate prices. I think it would be neat to have a zombie apocalypse story where the zombie plague could be easily cured if not for the actions of a few greedy individuals. I think that would be very interesting and not at all a commentary on the american healthcare system.

[vfdinthewild]

"the head of the nonprofit I volunteer for doesn’t know what a budget is"

-via the Ask a Manager column of the same name

[eatorganicmulch]

atwq characters and their super smash bros. mains:

lemony: ness

skill level: not great, struggles with level 5 coms.

ellington: rosalina and luma

skill level: really really bad (she'd be a bit better if she picked a different main).

moxie: bowser jr. (trust me on this)

skill level: pretty decent! can be very competitive at times.

pip: mr. game and watch

skill level: actually not that bad, occasionally plays dirty.

squeak: pichu

skill level: self-destructs within the first 15 seconds 🥀🥀🥀

jake: donkey kong

skill level: really very amazing, but he's humble about it.

cleo: samus

skill level: not really very amazing, but hates admitting it.

kellar: sora

skill level: mid. fine. decent.

ornette: greninja

skill level: pretty good, she puts up some tough fights!

stew: king k. rool

skill level: wins 99% of the time, not because he's good but because he constantly spams, (jake, ornette, and kit are skilled enough to counter him).

kit: daisy

skill level: she's the best snicket sibling (though jacques is pretty good, too).

i was gonna do asoue characters first, but that's been giving me more trouble that i thought tbh, so i did these guys first! the asoue addition will be coming soon <3