#less rules. you know
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pixie loreee. these guys are weird we should study them or something (they sense this thought and imediately knock a tree onto me)
(shorn, if they live long enough, become known by outgroups as "borrowers")
#i havent done very much fantasy gt stuff its v fun cause.#less rules. you know#when they lose their wings their head peice things (petals) fall off and they become humanoid in appearance (over time)#g/t#giant/tiny#my ocs#g/t art#g/t ocs#nonsexual nudity#cw blood#they do end up alright the shorn are the wives from my other posts#also. ALSO. uh their hair is perfectly styled bc the camo magic also makes them slay#my art
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looking at next month's schedule and between the end of 7-12 and the wishing lantern event it's like
February is officially RIDDLE MONTH, brace yourselves to be absolutely blasted into ashes everybody
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#negai no lantern#gif warning#gifs that have memorized all 800+ rules and expect no less from you warning#sorry cater and azul i hope you have very happy birthdays but i'm going to actually explode#just laying on the floor and thinking about rapunzel-themed event feat. riddle#and ESPECIALLY right after we get his big dream sequence wherein he fistfights his deep-seated personal issues#and i'm STILL processing trey's dream and what it says about his friendship with riddle especially like#i'm#i just#okay hold on i gotta distract myself by looking at the other lantern boys#and their beautiful long flowing tresses that defy physics to blow dramatically behind them#whoever keeps putting jack in the shimmery sparkly delicate floaty chiffon events is my personal hero#his card is incredible. he looks like a perfume ad.#he wants us to know that you can live a rugged outdoorsy lifestyle and still have an undertone of delicate floral notes#god. everyone looks amazing this event is going to be amazing#and like...it probably isn't going to go too deep because silly event versus main story and all#but just the act of casting riddle as the center is still just so#like#i gotta go lay on the floor some more
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'He would not fucking say that' only it's 'That child would not speak in full fucking sentences.'
#basic rule of thumb is two year olds are expected to be able to use TWO words in a row.#some can do more. some can do less.#but please assume that if a child is under three they are not speaking thoughts more complex than 'I want that' or 'I am [sad/hungry/mad]'#Occassionally you'll hear a pretty complex thought like 'It's snowing outside!' but that's only certain kids#If they draw your attention to something it's usually just the word 'LOOK' and a bunch of pointing#If they're upset words go completely out the window and you'll just hear crying/screaming. possibly the word 'no' or 'Mama' or 'Daddy'#Kids tend to say 'mama' or 'daddy' even if those people aren't in the immediate area#Tho I have had the hilarious experience of hearing an angry kid loudly scream for his older sister#are there exceptions to the rule? yes of course#also: most kids understand social cues before they can actively participate in them#So for instance when I put on my coat they all start yelling 'Bye Maggie!' even if I am actively having a conversation#They also know that it's typical to greet someone when they come in the door but they don't know WHEN or HOW#which results in them just. Yelling your name at you when you come in the room. Sometimes they'll say 'MAGGIE HERE.'#When the phone rings they yell 'HELLO??' at it.
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Jason “my family doesn’t know im alive” Todd and Danny “my family doesn’t know I’m dead” Fenton going alongside each of their plans my beloved. like Danny will absolutely go head-to-head with all of Gotham to support his new best friend on all his crime lord endeavors while he drags Jason to also attend collage with him. They are roommates and there never seems to a mention of family from either side. It’s an unspoken understanding they have. They met because Crime alley as a ghost lair thrummed with so much loneliness, it was at first the perfect place for Danny to hide his ecto signature in. But then he saw the dumbass whose lair it was lean his motorcycle just a tad too much when making a sharp turn to an alley, he sweeped the floor through a lifted chain link that passed his body but not his helmet. Yep that’s right the red thing got stuck. Danny who at the moment happened to be watching through his window snorted. Much to his horror because if not a ghost that dude could’ve gotten his head flung off.
Still, the scene was ridiculous.
On a whim he irrationally sees the police closing in on the guy and panicked at the thought of the guy using intangibility to free himself so Danny phased them both through his apartment wall and left the guy sprawled in his couch. Jason didn’t freak out but that’s normal when one’s got a concussion, one the guy immediately denied having as Danny laid out the medical supplies. The idiot proceeded to almost flatten four steps to the door with his stubbornness. He also said “I’m asexual” in the most deadpan voice as Danny dropped him back in the couch.
Danny sighed. Clearly though, he’d done so too early in the night because the guy kept trying to go, kept trying to knock Danny out, kept trying to slash him with knifes Danny didn’t know he had stashed. He’d only disarmed the guy from his guns. The visible ones apparently, cause at one point the guy did take out a gun and shoot until the ammo ran out and then teetered the thing like it was an art prop and hit his moon lamp.
Danny "yeah you aren’t officially my friend until you’ve tried to kill me" fenton my guys.
Anyways both keep having the same argument over if Danny technically kidnapped Jason or not. Danny holds the fact that the police at least didn’t see the guy make the ridicule. Jason argued that happened cause he was sporting a concussion. Danny argued he got that after.
Jason at first thinks the guy's a meta, but no. Danny introduces himself, sheepily now that he recognizes this is who the lair he invaded is from. He bandages him and tries to cook for him. If Danny didn’t have ice powers he most certainly would’ve burned the apartment. Jason then proceeds to kick him out of his own kitchen and make them both enchiladas. It’s the most normal both had in a while with another person and the air seems oddly settled. From then on, Jason constantly invited himself over, under the pretense that this was his territory and therefore he could drop in unannounced. Danny who has actual powers says he only allows this because Jason cooks very well.
Danny stays away from the crime fighting business unless his buddy is in deep shit he can’t get himself out. Also it’s Danny’s turn to cover for his vigilante friend which Sam and Tucker give him so much shit for. (but also advice)
And they were roommates. (omg) Danny effectively derails Jason’s big comeback plans by casually dropping ghost lore every two days. Like,
Jason, talking about how he doesn’t want Bats snooping on his territory:
Danny: Just don’t let them in
Jason: ??
Danny: yeah!! Hasn’t Batman died and got revived??? You can totally kick out death touched people you don’t want entering on your lair.
Jason: …I can?
Danny: Yep dude, your lair’s supposed to feel safe.
Jason: wait does that mean I can kick you out?
Danny: First this is my apartment. Second, im dead, not dead touched. Third, it’s too late to get rid of me. bitch.
Anyways Jason is super excited. You mean to tell him he can actually deny people over to his territory haunt?? (Yes it’s only to people who have died and came back but still!! The sample size is exactly the type of people he doesn’t want to see—!)
Joker my beloathed can’t step foot in Crime Alley.
(Jason’d feel a lot safer if the clown was dead but the possibility of his murderer turning into a ghost and their little loophole not applying on the clown is too scary to contemplate.)
Anyways, Jason loves experimenting with the power. It can go from simply making people shudder and not want to enter crime Alley to straight up not letting them enter like there’s an invisible wall blocking the way.
Jason because he’s hurt that Bruce never even patrols Crime Alley and also because he’s petty put B under the category of “invisible wall” blacklist. His reasoning is that the man doesn’t even attempt to enter Crime Alley. To him it’s surely just a place shadowed in tragedy. (anyways that’s it’s the place he met Jason)
Ironically, Jason totally forgets that Batman does venture into Crime Alley one day in the whole year. The day he met Jason.
Okay. He didn’t forget at first. The first year Jason remembers cause it was only a few months till then but then the next— Jason forgets that today’s the anniversary of the day’s Bruce’s parents died. He forgets to allow B in when he feels a slight tug and dismiss the feeling that prompts Bruce to investigate because he literally can’t enter Crime Alley. He starts the trialsTM, he scouts on the very edge and sees people the whole day enter and get out and cross with no problem but Bruce can’t.
It’s literally just Bruce.
Time to call Constantine, i guess.
#bat shenanigans ensue#JSJSJS okay so i dont have a well versed timeline of events but two years after utrh who HASNT died of the batfam#cause those are the ones who are gonna go undercover to find what shady shit is this: )#im going with timmy cass and duke#sorry steph i KNOW you have died#the others have plausible deniability from my part#the trio is gonna come down hard on this unsuspecting pair#let's just say constantine just had one spare magical rune for each of them so they'll be able to identify who was powerful enough to do it#and duke found civvie jason. cass found civvie danny and tim also found jason a la squared. in his red hood get up later that night#the only useful photos are from tim's side but anyways since they got three suspects (one suspected to be the other. so really-- two)#they decide to split each other up and tag one each (whoever doesn't get the correct guy loses)#tim calls dibs on the twink. cass rolls her eyes and narrows her eyes at the red hood and duke smirks when he gets to keep his guy#he's not cheating if he didn't protest to getting to have the guy he already saw the aura of. he's sure he is IT#coincidentally duke happens to be the only bat jason doesn't recognize (and vice versa)#meanwhile cass is gonna be the one shadowing red hood which at this point he doesn't kill that much since he has his rules verymuch enforce#he does kill tho#so at some point they're gonna clash but at the start of the investigation no#let them be siblings your honor#big sis cass and her little brother 6'4 jay#and tim finally is gonna be the one to smoothly get himself in the conversation with cryptid roommate civilian danny fenton#genius dumbasses protection club#their first meeting is of course arranged but no less meet cute coffee shop au#anyways jason wants to know why the fuck hes got a bat tagging along with him so out of the blue and also why can't he fucking chase her of#cass is curious about how the red hood's mood constantly changes within her range yet he never attacks her despite his hurt-longing-anger#the boy who doesn't make noise fucking screeches when she sneaks up to him#and duke fucking brings his hands to block the chernobyl reject glow stick sun that's stands next to tim#while tim looks like his whole system is rebooting cause that's jason todd#dp x dc#danny phantom#jason todd
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plot bunny: What if Lila/Iris was a random person who found Ladybug dead and decided to impersonate her so that the city could still have their hero.


#lila is interesting because i see her as less of a character and as more of a set of rules#theoretically within what the show has given us lila could be *anything*#we know nothing about her and i doubt we ever will so she's PERFECT for projecting interiority#she's given no canon hobbies and an intentionally confusing backstory#and HARDLY A CONCRETE MOTIVE TO SPEAK OF#she just has to lie and have multiple identities and boom! you have A Lila#early season lila fans will hate me for this and i'm sorry#lila rossi#iris verdi#cerise bianca#ml ladybug#ml ladynoir#miraculous ladybug#chat noir#ml chat noir#miraculous ladynoir#miraculous fandom#miraculous lb#adrien agreste#mlb adrien#miraculous adrien#mlb lila#miraculous lila#wissym doodles
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The Final Flame 🕯️
—
“We’re all just candles in the dark.”
#candela obscura#critical role#critical role fanart#candela obscura fanart#elsie roberts#ashly burch#circle of tide and bone#the circle of tide and bone#critical role art#floweroflaurelin art#candela spoilers#candela obscura spoilers#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING.#I started this painting at the break and got the caption at the end of the episode#I know it’s not huevember but i make the rules haha#I’m working on three comms simultaneously so there’s been less art from me lately! but candela obscura has a hold on my MIND#also for the beast like. mantis orca locust monster? I just made smth up but I dig it!#me 🤝 raj
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Mark telling Tong he likes the way he smells
MY GOLDEN BLOOD (2025) EP. 2 // EP. 4
#my golden blood#my golden blood the series#mgbedit#formgb#thaidrama#userrlaura#usergzh#raeblr#mjtag#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#userlinnea#userbon#asianlgbtdrama#fyeahthaidramas#gifs:mgb#dramasource#tansgifs#not even gonna try making a relapsed gifset out of this episode i'd be here all month#it's honestly less weird when he straight says it out loud cuz it's just extremely weird to just smell tong without saying anything#my guy really invite tong like 'hey come over to shop with me but u don't really need to shop anything i already know how u smell'#'i just needs you to confirm this is the scent you use so my clothes and bedsheets can smell like you because i like the way you smell'#bestie there is an easier way to do this. just rub yourself all over tong#which to be fair he has been trying to do since day one tong is the one with the hand distance rule#funniest part is Tong is clearly liking this#this is like my 300th smell k1nk gifset for this show and we are barely on episode 4
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I've seen the headcanon that Lucanis' mother, Caterina's perfect heir, was actually similar to Illario in some ways. That she was calculating, ruthless, ambitious, obedient... all the things Caterina overlooks in Illario because Caterina sees her favourite daughter's deep brown eyes and quiet, controlled demeanor and careful planning in Lucanis.
But I am also attached to the idea that the opposite is true too. That Illario's mother shared similarities with Lucanis; that she was empathetic and stubborn, with a slight rebellious streak. But she was always outgoing and charming, was more impulsive with her emotions, and was always sharper with her tongue than with a sword, so Caterina only sees her in Illario.
I just love the idea that Caterina can't look beyond the surface and see who her grandsons really are because on some level she can't see past the ghosts reflected in their eyes. She can't see that the quiet brown eyed boy is is more of the gentle hearted rebel, and the one with blue eyes and a shining, fake smile is the ruthless leader who would do anything she asked.
#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#I wish we knew anything about their families#Illario's name means happy. You could (and I choose to) read that as meaning his parents' main wish for him was happiness.#What does that say about them as people?#What does it mean that a Dellamorte once looked at their newborn and their only thought was 'I hope he's happy'#I have been thinking about the Dellamortes all morning at work#Lucanis' mother the favourite child the quiet one who learned to turn off her emotions and would do anything to keep her status as favourit#Vs loud emotional Illario's mother the less favourite because she was rebellious and stubborn and tried to be her own person#(as much as she could)#(Also imagining Lucanis' mother sneaking into her younger sister's room at night after she's punished and tending to her#the way Lucanis and Illario will do years later)#I like the idea of Illario's mother being a bit of a rebel because I think a lot of people look at Illario and think disobedient rebel#despite the fact that I think objectively Illario is the more obedient one#he has disobedient rebel energy but in canon he's a follower who doesn't even consider breaking the rules unless it's Lucanis' idea#(until he has Lucanis killed but you could argue even that is him following Crow rules it's just him being who Caterina raised him to be)#I really want to know what's up with their families though. Lucanis is the horse Caterina is betting on. Lucanis' mother was the first of#her children to die. What makes her so sure Lucanis is the best option? Is it just that Lucanis is less like her and she knows she failed?#Is there something about Illario that makes her see him an ineligible? I want to interview her.#anyways I have to go back to work now hopefully this all makes sense I don't have time to proofread anything oops this is how much I ramble#when I don't have the time to go back and edit it down and take out all my irrelevant thoughts
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Actually going insane over the implications of Jason asking Dick to be the Robin to his Batman in Battle for the Cowl.
Like I initially took it at the purely surface-level of Jason wanting a partner in the general sense. Which made sense, it's a huge responsibility and a lonely one so an assistant/sidekick/partner seems a no-brainer if you can get one.
But then I really thought about it, because Jason is not asking Dick to be his partner in the general sense; he's not even asking Dick to be his Nightwing. He's asking Dick to be his Robin.
And they both know exactly what Jason means: "Be the light to my darkness. Be the smile to my scowl. Be the hope to my fear. "
He's saying "Be 'Robin'; be the embodiment of Love and Justice and Goodness. Be the exceptional person that you have always been. Be the slightly-less exceptional person that I was when I wore your colors. Be the person that I was in the process of becoming and might have been (or might still be), if only Joker hadn't clipped my wings."
He's saying "I am prepared to become vengeance, become the Night. And I will go further than Bruce ever dared to, because it is what is needed. I will be the necessary evil. But you don't have to be. If Batman is Gotham's curse, Robin has always been its blessing. I will be the brutal punishment to our world, and I am asking you to be its incandescent gift."
He's saying, "Be for me, what we were for Him. Be my anchor, my comfort, my hope. Remind me what it's all for, why it's all worth it. And remind yourself as well."
He's saying "Be 'Robin' again--for both of our sakes."
#dick grayson#jason todd#battle for the cowl#jaydick#dickjay#kinda but also not kinda#batman#dcu#otp: be my robin#'we can rule together as just it always should've been with you as my guiding light and conscience'#is that not in essence; a sort of marriage proposal ?#well no but it's not NOT one either if you catch my drift#i should note that i haven't actually read bftc yet and i know it's considered controversial/bad#and considered ooc for pretty much everyone#so i am not even sure if I will like it#but i am still planning on reading it for the jaydick crumbs#and b/c i am using it and knightfall as the primary inspo for my krisnix au#apparently jason does ask tim to be his robin first and that's interesting as well#but honestly a little less powerful/interesting to me at least since jaytim just doesn't interest me as much as jaydick#and honestly i've looked at the panels and it seems a little more genuine when jason asks dick idk#more like 'last chance; i'll let you live if you join me' for tim vs. 'join me because this feels right' for dick#and honestly even with clumsy execution; just the narrative and emotional richness of this scene is still making me absolutely feral#this arc could be complete trash in any and every other way but if it gives me THEMES; i will forgive anything#it's the former english major occupational hazard#*apollo justice voice *: I'M FINE#(narrator voice: she was not in fact fine)
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hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)
#cal kestis#bd 1#jedi fallen order#jfo#star wars#my doods#anyway HOLY CRAP YOU MEAN STAR WARS WAS ALLOWED TO BE GOOD BEFORE ANDOR (2022-)??????????????? AND I DIDNT KNOW??#i love cal i loved the story i love how cinematic and amazing it looked good lord#i don't think i've ever played a game which gets such an amazing sense of scale across#like all the great temples or fallen starships were just Wow#like bracca ALONE gobsmacked me. seeing all these things i grew up watching in tcw as wreckage was like Ough Wow and THEY FELT SO HUGE#im just. wow!!#and THAT FINAL MISSION HUH. MOST FEAR INSPIRING VIDEOGAME ENCOUNTER EVER#my only criticisms are the awkward navigation/ level design in some areas and maybe the ending felt a bit lackluster somehow#i say somehow bc i dont get how lol#the reason im making this post past midnight is bc i got off work at 10pm and then immediately had to finish it LOL#anyway big heart emojis im very happy i sat down and actually played it finally#i want jedi survivor now LOL unfortunately it costs money and i have a rule i never buy games in release year lol#tbh i never rlly buy games til they're £20 or less
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zane and kai bonded in the early seasons by discovering new music together. both didnt really have a great access to it growing up (there was an only an old radio or maybe a scratchy vinyl player in ignacia's library and zane's village had no electricity) so they mainly grew up hearing their respective villages' traditional live music. Hearing those 'end-of-2012-mashup' compilations changed both of their lives
#i loveee love love thinking about the implications of everyones backgrounds during the early seasons#cole grew up in the suburbs of ninjago city and also came from a rich (rich?? lou is rich right? hes famous?) family#so he came from the most privileged (in terms of wealth/location) background but not the most loving family#meanwhile jay had a very very close-knit family but he grew up poorer and more isolated in a desert but was still surrounded by technology#hashtag bring back jays country accent 2025#both nya and kai and zane came from very rural areas (though zanes more rural if i can remember). ignacia had bamboo telephone poles#but you see little to no tech in the rest of the village so its safe to assume the little electricity they do have isn't the highest qualit#zanes village in my mind was a very tight community. It takes a village to raise a child yada yada. i think it was smaller than ignacia too#which adds to the everyone knows everyone aspect#theres also the factor that kai and nya seem?? quite separated from the rest of their village? their shop is on a hill fairly far from the#main community from what i remember in the pilots#i do think that when their parents first disappeared lots of village members stepped up to support them the best they could#but as kai and nya got older the help became less due to a mix of the two's own stubbornness and also the villagers deeming them old enough#with zane i imagine it to be an almost. Everyone's family kinda dynamic. people supporting people#but i loveee the added aspects of like. Different slang that everyone would use or music or clothes#im also just gonna guess that kai nya and zane didnt have access to like? videogames and stuff?#maybe kai and nya a little when their parents were around bc they cld afford it but like i said ignacia doesnt seem very high tech#so their first times playing would be with jay (who made his own little versions of gameboys and nintendos yada yada) and cole (who grew up#with a playstation)#theres also traditions and culture to think about!!!! the rural areas would probably have more conservative mindsets but also more#individual traditions. So it would be very interesting to see what kai nya zane picked up from their childhoods#and how it differs to jay and cole (mainly cole since he had the most 'typical' childhood)#URGHHH im going on such a rant but I DONT CARE. MY BLOG MY RULES#miz talks#ninjago#ninjago kai#ninjago zane#oppositeshipping#(i had to i loveee them)#when u and gang are both equally as astounded at techno music
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AVOIDANCE: the only real solution to all of Eddie’s your falling-in-love problems!
(0 out of 10 participants in this approach have proven its INeffectiveness; talk to your ✨love interest✨today to avoid this heartbreaking waste of your energy!)
It’s not like they were bosom buddies for years and years. A week at the outset, a couple months since, and now they’re all back in their own homes living their own lives and Eddie can avoid the way he’s most definitely, one-hundred-percent certainly in love with Steve Harrington. Very effectively. By simply avoiding Steve Harrington.
rating: t ♥️ tags: post-s4, eddie munson and his newfound obsession/unprecedebtedly-close-to-love feelings for steve harrington, answer: avoid steve harrington like the plague, excellent and emotionally-mature ways of dealing with your problems! /s, primary hiccup in existing plan: forgetting steve harrington doesn’t take well to failure, (oops), miscommunication, boys so dumb, confessions, hint of angst (because eddie is a very silly boy with very silly ideas sometimes), self-confident!steve, steve harrington facing the issues head-on, feelings confessions, peak eddie dramatics, happy ending♥️
for @steddielovemonth day fifteen: “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”―Jane Austen, Emma
True fact: Eddie thought he was playing things cool. Thought he was totally copacetic, in, you know, keeping it all subtle. He can do subtle, y’know: being loud and proud, shouting on tabletops and shit, screaming at drunks—that was a choice, not a…a rule. He’s a freak, he’s an outcast, he’s a weird-ass motherfucker: he’d have had far more brushes with his actual-factual demise in this podunk town if he was literally incapable of blending in with the background, and not just kinda sickened by the concept, let alone the effort involved to appease fucking…normies.
So yeah, he’d…he’d thought he was flying under the radar. And anyway; why the fuck would Steve Harrington even notice eddies absence in his day-to-day? They were apocalypse ‘friends’. Hospital buddies at best.
They’re back in the real world now.
Eddie supposed Vecna or whatever the fuck his name is will come crawling back in the foreseeable future, but brighter minds than his are preparing for that shit. The sheepies will let him know if they need his assistance—pending what that assistance may or may not be worth dependent on how far along his PT journey he stands at that point.
But it’s not like they were glued to the hip. It’s not like they were bosom buddies for years and years. A week at the outset, a couple months since, and now they’re all back in their own homes living their own lives and Eddie can avoid the way he’s most definitely, one-hundred-percent certainly in love with Steve Harrington. Very effectively.
By simply avoiding Steve Harrington.
It’s kind of a foolproof plan, really. He starts wrapping Hellfire earlier, tells the little shitheads he’s gotta run, Wayne needs a hand with a revolving door of household projects now that they’ve got their own place with more than one bedroom. Gotta mount that hangers for that ball cap collection just right, you know, yadda yadda.
He thinks they gave up being suspicious without a week or two, now just hit him with annoyed eye rolls. God bless the scourge of self-centred teenage bitchiness playing directly into eddies hand.
What he failed to account for, however, about eleven weeks into his up-to-now flawless scheme, was…well. The leading man himself.
Showing the fuck up at Eddie’s door, which Eddie answered for once like a fool and now can’t back out of cleanly because there’s no truck in the drive—it’s clear he’s here on his own.
Motherfucker.
One thing can be said for the plan, in terms of like, general side quest observations—absence definitely made the heart grow fonder. Or at least didn’t contribute at all to the opposite. Which Eddie hadn’t been entirely sure was possible, because the speed and strength of how he fell with every fucking cell in him had honestly terrified the shit out of him on its own. But after avoiding Steve, nodding at best if he canoed paths and sneaking away when the man called out like he was gonna snake through a crowd at any of the number of the family dinners for interdimensional-trauma-survivors-anonymous that Eddie couldn’t weasel out of: it’d been clear pretty fucking quick.
The almost-indefensibly-absurd affection he’d developed for the King of Hawkins—it wasn’t just reign over the high school if the parents were so charmed, if the fucking hospital has cowed into acting and quick when they tried to hesitate in treating an accused murderer, as Eddie’d been regaled with by everyone but Steve, who shrugged his kinda crucial role in saving Eddie’s ass with a shrug and of course, man, like there was ever even a question—but his indefensibly overwhelming and absurd infatuation that spent every month expanding further to try and crack his fucking ribs, well.
It was chronic, at best. He wasn’t gonna shake it…any time soon.
Any time soon.
So: best to at least keep the catalyst at bay, stop it from causing the condition to worsen.
He’d made the mistake of thinking it couldn’t get worse already. Learn from your mistakes, and all the shit.
So what if it’s been months now and not only has the malady of being ass-over-nipple in-fucking-love persisted, but got so much fucking worse? Deeper? More, when that shit should have even been possible?
No. He just has to be persistent. Keep at the plan. Eventually, it’ll die off. It’ll whither and blow away. It’ll fucking fade—
He does, however, fail to calculate all contingencies.
Namely Steve Harrington’s incapacity to accept defeat.
He’s also too fucking scatterbrained to check the door before opening it when there’s a knock, just after Wayne’s left for his shift. When Eddie has no excuse to slam it back shut on the exceptionally exquisite face waiting when the hinges swing open.
Exquisite, but looking…pinched. Sour.
Pissed the fuck off.
And worst of all of it—because so far the list only server to underscore that unfortunate state of being fucking beautiful, on every possible level—but worst of it all, because it’s worst on its own but also because it twists, distorts all the beauty, and it’s so clearly Eddie’s fault because Steve is standing right here, and not elsewhere, after all this time.
Looking hurt, under everything else.
“I’m done with this, yeah?”
Eddie could run. He’d only make it to his room; Steve would probably be able to break down the door and get to him before he could slither through the window and run, but he’s still not 100%, right, he’s physically at a disadvantage anyway, it’s not even gonna be a question—
Steve’s got him cornered.
So he just stands. Blinks.
Doesn’t…know what Steve’s ‘done with’, but he feels his literally twist, wring like a dishrag, when he figures out the most likely answer is just:
Eddie.
Even trying to keep the maximum distance, he either knows, and hates it, hates him, or…
He doesn’t know, and doesn’t need to. He just is over Eddie and his bullshit.
It’s in the heart-piercing distraction of either and both possibilities that Steve pushes past him into the front hall.
“What the fuck is your problem, man?”
Steve crosses his arms as the door latches closed, caging them in.
Eddie’s heart starts kicking hard, which is painful. He assumes that’s because it’s been pierced by the hurt still on Steve’s face.
“I thought we were, like, that at least we were friends?”
He says it like he also has maybe had thoughts like there’s something else they were, or could have been. That by association and context would be somewhere more than friends?
Eddie’s pieced-through heart switches to a double-thumping sort of thing that’s really just as confused as the rest of him.
Hurts like a motherfucker, too.
“Did I do something?”
Steve asks, finally sounds more defeated than any of the other things Eddie can pick up in how he holds his body, and honestly that’s what breaks Eddie’s resolve, of everything; after everything. After holding out this long and failing for the entire fucking effort, after hurting Steve, the last thing he could ever want, probably the main underlying reason he’s been running from him the whole goddamn time—to not hurt him.
He’s suck a fuck up. He’s such a fucking fuck up.
“You know how sunflowers grow?”
Steve startles a little, grows the slightest bit.
“They find the sun, and the grow toward it,” and Eddie’s not stupid enough to think the whole disaster that’s unfolding in front of him, from his own chest, his own fucking mouth—he’s aware.
He can’t do nothing, but he also doesn’t think he can sugarcoat this in a way that goes down easier; sand the rough edges to make it make better sense.
He has to wrench it raw and bloody from his ribs, caught on the jagged bone like the messy fuck he is.
“You were the sun,” Eddie finally says it out loud, and his voice is so small and wondering, he can’t hide it. “You were the sun and I woke up broken, I had to grow back so much and I did, because I had the tools,” he swallows, takes a shaky breath:
“I had the sun right next to me, to do all the growing toward. To…rebuild around.”
Eddie’s always been a weirdo, and outcast—he’s spent a lot of time in libraries; often hiding.
But he’s read a lot of random shit. And enough of it’s stuck to make some sense of this fucking mess.
Steve’s face gives nothing away. It’s usually so…so generous with its feeling, even if there are some feelings Eddie knows Steve’s careful to never let show.
But in the now, he just stares.
“Otters,”Eddie blurts out, fingers twitching, wrists shaking; “they hold hands when they sleep,” and he looks up for a second before looking away again, pulse a mullet in his throat.
“I used to hold onto your hand when I fell asleep in the hospital,” and he says it like it’s a secret, a confession, even though of all people, of course Steve already fucking knows. The part he doesn’t, though:
“I still reach, and how fucked that? Like I deserve it as a rule, like it’s mine.”
Like you’re mine.
He can’t say it. But he doesn’t have it. It rings out on its own.
“But then there are the trees that shoot up all tangled,” Eddie can’t remember what they’re called; “where the trunks split off into one another, or they’re so braided up together the share their bark, whole pieces left Bernal’s, naked but the other tree covers it, makes it strong and safe but only so long as they’re literally fused together indefinitely,” and Eddie hopes that one…that one explains itself.
He pauses, waits for any reaction.
No dice.
“Bats sleep in pitcher plants.”
That at least gets the slightest lift of the chin. Probably because it’s weird, and also…bats.
Right. So Eddie’s gonna have to spell it all out.
Which he kinda knew. The examples are fucking weird. But they’re…they’re true. They’re where he is.
“If I get too fucking close, I will destroy you,” Eddie says, because that’s the fear, right—or no.
That’s the fucking truth. Eddie always ends up with the tatters of the things he loves the most.
“I’ll take too much, I’ll take everything,” Eddie confesses, pleads in his tone to be seen, which Steve’s always been weirdly good at, and understood—the bigger gamble.
“There won’t be any stoplights, there won’t be a barrier or a boundary where I’ll know I’ve gone too far because I won’t even think of what that fucking is, what it could be to even watch for, like the barebones idea of ‘too far’, let alone what it looks like, I won’t,” and his breath runs out, so he gasps, and he thinks he sees Steve move to reach, to help, to steady.
He thinks.
It’s probably just wishful thinking.
“I won’t stop holding on just when I’m sleeping, I’ll,” Eddie licks his lips, because now…now he’sstarting to hurt, closer to what it felt like with teeth ripping his flesh than anything has felt, than any loss has threatened. He has to clear his throat, because otherwise the rest will just spill out like a sob:
“I’ll tear your bark so you bleed, and you’re exposed and you die off slow, because I was selfish, so selfish, I held to close, I fucking…” eddies voice cracks; his eyes fucking burn; “because I fucking demanded the whole of you, and damn the cost because I couldn’t process an end, why would I stop doing to even think to be logical and careful when an end to you was, is, well, fuck,” he huffs, and a tear spills out white hot down his cheek;
“It’s incomprehensible, because that would be the end of everything, that was made real fucking clear for me with the bats, both times,” and Eddie means that—he’s had time to think through the origin of his aching and it was early, it was any hint of being in the world without this person in it, too; “and the end of everything, well,” he shakes his head, some of his hair sticking in the single trail of salt on his skin:
“Tied up in you, so tight we couldn’t physically untangle?” His voice drops to a whisper, and he knows his smile has to look sad, but he means this is the deepest places his heart even holds:
“What better way to go?”
He maybes watches Steve’s throat bobbing. Maybe.
Probably not.
So Eddie just sighs. Because…none of that matters. None of that matters in the face of the core truth:
“Those pitcher plants dissolve things inside them, it’s how they eat,” he half-recites, retreating into those deep-heart places, where the feeling is most saturated, but hard to find, somewhere to hide as he whispers, cowers in himself as he flats his own flesh:
“I’ll leech from you for wanting too much just the same. I’ll fucking destroy you, Stevie,” he moans, feels his arms wrap around his chest, protective. Trembling.
“I’ll love you so hard I’ll suffocate you, I’ll tear you to pieces trying to get closer, trying to hold the heart of you closer to mine,” he doesn’t even make a conscious decision to press a palm over his flailing heart where his arm already holds, hugs himself so fucking tight. His lungs are sore. It’s tight, trying to breathe.
“It’s not an overstatement, though, the other plants, the flowers,” Eddie feels overwhelmed, suddenly, with a need to make clear that there’s only one person at fault for this, and it’s him—Steve didn’t deserve to get hurt. Eddie should have found a better way to keep him safe—from Eddie—from the very start. Because—
“You are my sun,” Eddie makes himself look up, look at Steve. “I didn’t realize how little I was growing even before spring break. I didn’t notice, how fucking thriving wasn’t even in my goddamn vocabulary, until there was you.” His breathing shudders again, followed by the rest of him:
“I turn toward you as a rule,” because here’s the thing. All these weeks and months.
Eddie’s been shrivelling. Eddie spends his nights dreaming of sunlight.
It’s inescapable.
He was going to have to find a more sustainable compromise soon, anyway. Might as well…lay it all out now.
He’s already ripped off his bark. He’s already prepared to dissolve in the acid, to burn for what it means to have left the feeling grow so big.
“I hope,” he coughs, starts slow, formal-like: “I hope you can do me the favor of just,” he has to clear his throat again; fuck, it’s hard; “politely ignoring that part. Like, even at a distance, it’s not something I can seem to stop.”
He was aiming for apologetic for that last bit, honest.
He fucking fails spectacularly, so. That’s cool.
“I swear, I won’t bother you,” he tries to convey how he’s sorry, for all of it, save for the core of the loving, because he as granted. A taste, no matter how it’s fallen to ruin; he’s selfish that way anyhow, to have seen some of the sun versus darkness alone for always.
Still:
“I won’t come near, I’ll do what I’ve been doing but better, I’ll be better, I’ll try harder, it will—“
Eddie thinks maybe he’s finally died. Of heartbreak, of whatever the Upside Down did to him. Of living without his sun for a long.
Any. All of the above.
Because the next thing he knows is pressure. Heat.
On his lips.
He barely processes responding before its town away: of course death wouldn’t be a reward. Not for him.
“Are you fucking telling me,” a voice bites out close enough to Eddie’s lips that he can feel how sharp they cut:
“That you have been avoiding me, running awayfrom me,” and Eddie knows that voice—
“Breaking my heart,” and fuck, fuck Eddie knows he knows that voice because when it’s hurting—and those words are irate and disbelieving and they’re hurt—
“Because you’re fucking scared of loving me too hard?”
And Eddie pulls back, opens his eyes: Steve.
Steve’s eyes are fucking vibrant with feeling, so many feelings. He’s…he doesn’t think he’s dead, because a lot of those feelings are ones Eddie’s not familiar with, and how would he know to place them there if he’s never known them at all?
He doesn’t know of it’s better or worse, to not be dead right now.
Because he just apparently got to feel Steve’s lips on his lips.
But then:
“Because that’s what you’re saying, right” Steve raises a brow, demands in posture as much as in tone:
“You’re in love with me.”
And then on the flip side of being alive-or-dead: he has to deal with the consequences of spelling out the answer to…that.
Which he’s apparently broken Steve’s heart over handling…the only way he could figure out. And still fucking it up.
“That sounds less than what it feels like,” Eddie whispers; it’s the only thing he can latch on to.
Steve’s eyes narrow at him, contemplate him.
“And you think me, of all people,” Steve finally asks, slow, his tone wrenchingly deliberate; “that Iwouldn’t meet someone loving that big and that much,” “and he huffs, shakes his head in searing disbelief Eddie almost wishes he could flinch from, but it’s so warm, it’s his sun:
“That that wouldn’t feel like there actually was a heaven, and I’d died and somehow made it there?”
Eddie’s breath catches, then stops entirely. He can’t seem to properly suck in another one because…
“That finding that wouldn’t feel like I’d won the lottery, like I’d figured out what it meant when people talk about a blessing, and all that shit?”
Because what…what it almost sounds like Steve is saying can’t actually be—
“That finding it, with you,” and oh, oh Steve is a lot closer than he was last Eddie processed the world around him, his chest is grazing Eddie’s chest when he seems to have no trouble breathing, just is doing it really deep and reallt fast—
“That it’d be anything less than a gift,” Steve murmurs half against Eddie’s lips; “a dream come to life?”
And Steve’s eyes flick up, and it’s when they land on Eddie’s and see him that his lungs shiver and he chokes out the only word he thinks his every molecule knows by heart:
“Steve?”
And Steve doesn’t move, neither. Loser nor farther away.
Doesn’t look away; doesn’t blink.
Just asks:
“Do you love me?”
And something in Eddie unfreezes, some string holding him up, holding him back snaps free and he just grabs Steve’s hand and presses it to his chest, like he needs to be tethered now that the string in him’s been cut, and the touch, this touch: Steve is really all he’s been wanting to keep him.
To keep him at all.
And maybe this is the one shot he gets.
But Steve, Steve said…
He presses Steve’s hand to his chest a little harder, because he’s bathed in the sun again. Their hands are linked, and they’re not asleep. He’s peeled off all the pretense, he’s as bare and vulnerable as he can possibly get. His heart’s beating into Steve palm. Eddie will happily fucking drown in this, dissolve and be…
He’s already consumed.
How is it any different, save that maybe, just maybe, beyond all odds and against everything he’s feared—
“More than I can hold in here,” Eddie scarcely finds the air to breathe; “more than I can say.”
“Then share it,” Steve says, the assuredness, the rightness in his gravity that’s always been at his core radiating forth and warming Eddie in a way he’s never known to feel before.
“Let me know it, let that feeling not be alone anymore,” and the words hold more than their syllables, by so much; “let it out to see the sun,” and then Steve’s flipping their hands so eddies the one caught agains this chest, but he’s always pulling them close enough that Steve’s knuckles are still catching the drum of Eddie’s pulse. It feels…
Eddie didn’t know what to expect, to let the feeling be felt beyond his own chest.
It’s breathtaking in a new way. It’s…
“Let it meet its match here, in how I feel,” Steve doesn’t suggest, just speaks, instructs, leads with a match to what Eddie feels, has been drowning in, save where it stole his air it’s breathing into him; where it took his light it’s reinventing the sun as Steve murmurs close, so close to his lips:
“Let it see how it was killing me all this time without you,” and Eddie whimpers for the cost of what he’s done, what he felt so sure he had to do—
“Let the feeling inside here,” and he presses his touch back to Eddie’s chest just a little bit firmer; “know how much sharing it’s like stitching my broken heart back to rights.”
Eddie’s exhales shakes so fucking hard; he can’t be this lucky. It can’t…he can’t…
But his heart’s beating so hard, so fast, so free.
So fucking alive.
“You can’t say it, big enough?” Steve pushes, his breath so goddamn warm, his lashes so thick, Eddie wants to feel them on his skin like a blessing, a sacrament:
“You can’t say it? Then show me, instead.”
And Steve looks up at him before he grabs around the back of Eddie’s neck, pulls him close enough that speaking rubs their lips together, more combative than affectionate but still undeniably intimate as Steve growls:
“Fucking months, Eddie, Jesus,” and his grip is firm, but there’s no force, Eddie could pull back, Eddie could try to run, and fail, but how could he, how could he ever—
His hand’s crushed to Steve’s chest. The same wild thrum he feels in his veins is there.
Let it meet its match.
“Make up for it,” Steve’s breath trembles on Eddie’s lips, taunts him, begs him, asks so many questions.
Eddie flips their hands one more time, presses Steve’s hand to his heartbeat with nothing less than desperation until his ribs goddamn creak, and then he leans, makes the pressure bigger—
Meets the feeling in Steve with all the feeling in him with their lips on each other like they mean it this time, ready to dissolve in it. To grow themselves to protect around the soft parts. To keep their hands entwined for always.
To come alive inside this sun.
✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @ajeff855 @allmyfavoritethingsinoneblog @anthrobrat @askitwithflours @awkwardgravity1 @bookworm0690 @bumblebeecuttlefishes @captain--low @depressed-freak13 @dragoon-ze-great @dreamercec @dreamwatch @dreamy-jeans137 @estrellami-1 @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @goodolefashionedloverboi @grtwdsmwhr @gunsknivesandplaid @hiei-harringtonmunson @hbyrde36 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @kimsnooks @live-laugh-love-dietrich @madigoround @mensch-anthropos-human @nerdyglassescheeseychick @notaqueenakhaleesi @ollyxar @pearynice @perseus-notjackson @pretend-theres-a-name-here
divider credit here
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#post s4#fluff#boys being absurd#(mostly just eddie)#unnecessary drama and angsting#(again: it’s eddie)#feelings confessions#getting together#eddie munsons’s A+++ plan to solve all his problems: AVOIDANCE! 🎉#problem being: falling in love with steve harrington#solution: avoiding steve harrington post-vecna at all costs#it’s FOOLPROOF#/s#(also: eddie is a first class fool so—this was fucked from the start)#SUCH EXTENSIVE DRAMATICS THOUGH#KING OF DRAMA!EDDIE#eddie putting some of his weirder knowledge-dumping skills on display#but steve’s unfazed; he knows his royal drama well#self confident steve harrington#(that boy didn’t take that you rule/you suck board in stride by NOT being a self-assured queen bitch at his core mmkay?)#stranger things#steddielovemonth#prompt: if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more#hitlikehammers v words#hitlikehammers writes
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absolutely begging dimension 20 to do a battle-heavy courtroom drama inspired season called Rules Lawyers with battle puzzles that hinge on technicalities and rules interpretation
#dropout#dimension 20#look i know d20 is more of a “introduce newbies to dnd” kind of show#and there is nothing wrong with that!!#BUT i am absolutely convince this would rule#anyways here’s my ideal cast:#aabria iyengar#as the dm#look. from the bottom of my heart i believe that between burrows end and laerryn coramar-seelie#that aabria has the level of rules knowledge and sheer evil genius to be the perfect dm for a season this psychologically intense#like my girl literally changed the wizard class forever#brennan lee mulligan#i do think brennan should be a player since “rule of cool”/“nat 20 = instant success” means less rules-lawyering and we want that shit#siobhan thompson#(gotta rep the whole law firm)#becca scott#emily axford#brian murphy#zac oyama#anyway i know that you may be asking “why zac” and like i know a lot of his Thing is being Quiet and Silly#but that man knows how to Play The Game#this is the kind of concept i would love to run at my own table#but my players don’t read the rules. so#live vicariously through others
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I’m not someone that particularly cares about a ship being canon or not, in fact I would rather the media I consume have no romance at all (giving my blog confusing yes I know)
But there is something about the canon ties between Shanks and Mihawk that drives me feral with need to see what their whole deal is.
Because like there are so many little inconsequential details that when taking separately seem pathetic and weak. But then put together it feels like it paints the picture of a larger undeniable connection and understanding between two wildly different men.
The fact that their main color is both red (Mihawk’s is a more wine dark red than Shanks’ bright red and a little more “subtle” given that Shanks is literally called red hair) but even then their main symbols, their identifying features, are red! Mihawk’s eyes and Shanks hair (yes while I love the gold and think that’s better I cannot ignore the fact that Oda consistently colors in Mihawk’s eyes red even though the gold is infinitely more popular)
They have the same birthday, are practically the same height, both with the promises to our two main protagonists to meet them at the top with a parting “gift”, both serve as a mentor to the protagonist (mihawk literally thought zoro how to kill him 😭), both with the bird(ish) iconography.
The fact that Mihawk, Mihawk! A man whose introduction was that he didn’t care much about anything and caused destruction on a whim, cares enough about what Shanks thinks to mentally apologize before trying to kill luffy (what the fuck).
The fact that whitebeard felt the need to reference his duel with Mihawk in his conversation with Shanks, despite not really being very relevant to the conversation and the fact that this is the first we’ve seen shanks in years and it is brought up in the same context as his relationship with Buggy (an already established relationship) reveals his relationship to Roger seems to point to the fact that this duel between Mihawk and Shanks is an important relationship to shanks. It couldn’t just be to show strength because he was about to clash with whitebeard the strongest man. It’s also hard to notice that those two relationships didn’t end particularly well for shanks.
Also the fact that it was Mihawk out of every character , Mihawk that brought luffy’s bounty to Shanks. Something he obviously knew would mean a lot to him. I used to think the scene was just there to show us how big a deal Shanks actually is like look at that fun childish alcoholic gang inspired our main hero? He’s actually a super big deal and he used to spar with the strongest character by far we had seen at that point (it wasn’t even close) and they fought on equal footing. It added a new layer of mystery to Shanks.
But it’s also the fact that even now with Mihawk’s bounty Shanks was mentioned and he’s the only one who this was mentioned for. Crocodile is just for his df and intelligence and they don’t mention that he literally tried and almost succeeded in subjugating a country and he was beat by luffy “or smoker given how many marines actually know the truth” even buggy who was literally Shanks’ sworn brother under the pirate king doesn’t get a mention like that. But Shanks and this duel is so integral to Mihawk’s character that it’s mentioned along with the only other long lasting fact we know about him and that is that he is the World’s Strongest Swordsman. Isn’t that fucking insane.
And like I feel insane scrapping all these details together as proof of something because they are all (besides the duel) the barest bones of a connection but god it is actually driving me insane.
And I’m not saying Mishanks is going to become canon or that it should or that I even particularly want it too. What I do want is to see how deeply these two are connected. What are these red strings of fate tying them to each other. Why can’t apparently ten years of little contact sever it? I swear to god if it’s actually nothing much I will lose my fucking mind. If nothing ever comes of all of this I will actually go insane. How can some people look at this and not see foreshadowing!?!?!!
#me being dragged a way in a straight jacket#I’m not insane you’re insane!#Is this what you want Oda?!? Is this what you desired?!?#I’m obsessed with the slutty insanely powerful middle aged swordsmen#is this what you want from me?!?!#no but seriously for how much they talk about the duel to the fact that it’s one of the o my things we know for certain about Mihawk#we definetly need a rematch#the way whitebeard talk about it makes it seem like it was less a bunch of friendly little duels#and more one big duel that shook the world#or maybe a mix of both#it’s so prevalent that it’s literally part of Mihawk’s little after episode bio thing#and emphasis on not resolved#I don’t know what to tell you Oda but those middle aged men need to fight#I don’t make the rules#throwing thoughts to the void#one piece#dracule mihawk#hawkeye mihawk#op#mishanks#akagami no shanks#red hair shanks#can you tell I’m having trouble sleeping?#akataka#mihawk x shanks#one piece theory#one piece thoughts#shipping#Oda not mention that Shanks and Mihawk knew each other/used to fight#challenge impossible
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Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.
He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.
That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).
Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.
50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"
Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.
They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.
This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.
Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.
#iwtv#iwtv character analysis#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#loumand#amc iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv season 2#don't be afraid just start the tape#Gotta feel bad for Louis for winding up falling in love again with someone ruled so much by their own undealt with shit#making him once again the victim of abuse for it#But at least I guess Lestat values his independence? And Louis to an extent.#Theres a lot less co-dependancy going on between them but it's still like ... there#I'm so serious tho when I say I really want IWTV to go in the direction of 'vampires all dealing with their shit and breaking generational#cycles of abuse' because THATS so IT too me. That's the juice tbh.#because a thing with immortality is that you can't partition away from dealing with shit through knowing you or someone is going to die#You have to confront it you're forced to or else its just FOREVER literally going to be there#Louis (or really Claudia) being the first to really confront that (chef kiss)#which is an interesting thing to depict because technically we all carry the burden of eternity w/in us. Our impact on the world lasts and#what violence we allow in the world without fighting or working against it will never change either.#We have to confront the truth and find reconciliation with all of it or it is just without end there is no bottom to it#theres a lot of discussion on it but I think Louis considers himself a survivor. He's lived to this point and will keep living.#He probably cares too much about the why he ends up a victim (the undealt with shit he can't blame them for) to admit otherwise that he is#Too an extent too he cares and loves the people he's been with to really view it that way. But also this survivor perspective is very#'immortality' accepting. Naming a victim sort of is like naming a kind of death that can't go on from there.#Might make these tags into their own post at some point
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Out of all the posts I've been seeing on Tiktok regarding the "can trans men identify as lesbians" debate, posts like this really make me want to blow up my phone.
I've seen multiple videos of people (usually younger/newly out folk) claiming that "queer/trans history doesn't matter because XYZ" and yes I'm biased as a historian but this is such an immature and asinine thing to argue.
As trans people, the reason you have the rights and visibility that you have now is because of our extensive history. Lesbians, trans men, and transmasc people have been linked together for centuries.
Our language has evolved, but people have remained largely the same. The only real difference is that we have new words and terms to describe our unique (and QUEER) experiences.
Trans guys in the 1700/1800s were called "female husbands" and were often times married to cisgender woman-lovers*. Their identity was not invalidated as they were voluntarily married to these women often for many decades. They were often pillars of their queer communities and lived as men for decades while also maintaining a strong presence in said communities they helped build.
Read Female Husbands by Jen Manion (FOR FREE!) for more info.
Leslie Feinberg (RIP) was famously a transgender lesbian who helped build some of the building blocks of modern-day lesbian and trans theory. You can read hir book Stone Butch Blues for FREE too. Trans history is very accessible if you know where to look.
This is only a small sampling of the trans men/mascs who have helped shape the lesbian community into what it is today.
TLDR; remembering queer/trans history is not "chronically online". This is reality. I implore everyone arguing otherwise to get out of your echo chamber/bubble and go shake ass with the hot lesboys at your local gay bar or something.
Or, like, go read a book.
*I specify "woman-lover" as the term because "lesbian" as a term hadn't been coined yet at the time and these women would not have identified with that term. The first recorded use of the term "lesbian", ironically, was attributed to a trans man, Joseph Lobdell.
#as a general rule I don't debate trans/queer history with anyone under 21#Or if they've been out for less than like a year#There's no way you know more than me lmao#ftm#trans history#transgender#ftm history#transmasc#trans#trans guy archive#archive#transguyarchive#female to male#transsexual#lesbian#lesbianism#lesbian community#transmasculine#lesboy#trans boy#trans pride#trans positivity#transandrophobia#transandromisia#queer history#transgender history#lgbt history#lgbtq issues
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