#like i feel like the algorithm is always changing
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I'm going to start posting my art on social media again. And I'll try to remember to also post here. I use and enjoy tumblr the most. I know no one will see it here as it gets lost in my feed. But no one's gonna see it in tiktok or insta either.
Here's the caption ->
"Hey, it's been a while since I last posted. I got busy and sick of the social media game. I've been debating whether or not to start posting my art again for a while now, and I'm still going back and forth on it. There are a lot of mixed feelings involved that I won't dive into now. But I did want to make and post something for #mermay before it was too late.
This is an illustration I made using watercolors and alcohol markers. I forgot to film a lot of it, but I tried. It's nothing too complicated; I didn't want to overwhelm myself with too high an expectation."
#captinaubs#my art#mermay#mermay 2025#mixed media#traditional art#im so out of practice on social media#and used to tumblr hashtags#like i feel like the algorithm is always changing#im a slow learner and months behind now#oh well#i dont expect anyone see or be interested in my posts#i have a low expectations#ive tried this before#many#many times#sorry for being depressing#will probably edit this later
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Every algorithm online thinks i'm a 15 year old lesbian, except for spotify which thinks i am someone who listens to nothing but songs who's lyrics are 90% jizz and spunk
#jay talkin#spotify slamming a song down in its recommends like E'RE Y'GO FILTHY LITTLE FUCK. YOU LIKE SPUNK AND ALCOHOL AND PUBLIC SEX AN SMELLING BAD#and i go THANK FUCK THE ONE ALGORITH THAT DOESNT THINK IM A TWEE TEEN GIRL#no i dont always like the songs in my discover weekly but im just glad of the change of fucking pase tbh#actually a lot of what i've been listening to lately inst along these lines at all. ive been seeking out a lot of newer artists i hadnt#heard of before. having a good time w it! been on a joey valence and brae kick and a hyphen kick#and been trying to seek out more furry artists too. had ashley ninelives russel buck and pent up pup on latelyyyy#i have a LOT more artists to check out tho theres so many talented ppl out there for reallll#the thing of every algorithm thinking im a lesbian woman does make me feel dysphoric tbh but we aint talking bout that rn#something something feeling so alone cuz nowhere feels made for you as a gay trans man something something whatev
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wait also my tags on that post were about people i knew in freshman and sophomore year of college specifically. i mean some of them i knew after that and most of them i knew from high school but damn some people really made everything about themselves when i was being emotionally manipulated in my freshman year
#i cant even think about it. makes so like disappointed and upset to think about some people.#its also just crazy how some people have like no introspection abilities at all.#they'll be like 'you did x once you abused me' ignoring how they did x 15 times and y 20 times and also came at me physically violently#and i know its not a calculator. i know i cant put all the bad things we did to each other into an algorithm that tells us who abused who#like i am aware that we had a toxic relationship and its better now that we are not in contact#but it makes me shake my head when i think about screenshots people used to send me of stuff my ex friends were saying about me on twt#because those people DO think they can put every bad thing ive ever done into a calculator that will show the result that i abused them#anyway. i like to think any person who knows me well and/or irl knows thats not me and i dont talk to almost anyone from that time anymore#i still follow and talk to fee...i think i still follow joanna but she is never on anymore....#in the end there is not much use in thinking anf agonizing about this anymore. i used to go into spirals a lot like maybe i DID abuse x fri#end and i just didnt REALIZE it maybe im CRAZY but. i definitely dont do that anymore. what she said to me made me do that.#(again. emotional manipulation.)#but its so crazy to remember high school and college from my current vantage point. i've lived so much good life since then.#now i own a house. i garden (something x friend told me i would never be responsible enough for) i have a boyfriend who has been scretly#into me for over year before we started dating (something x friend always told me i was imagining in people) i have a job i find fulfillment#in (something x friend said i would never find if i kept changing jobs looking for one i liked)#i feel like i make a post ever year or so when i inevitably end up looking back on those times...and i always feel guilty for making them#because i dont want it to seem like im gossiping or slandering (even though x friend posted about me all the time) but idk#i dont go to therapy yknow. i just journal and write and think in my head and on occasion i make a blog post with rambling tags#i talk to people and learn about them and through that learn about me. i read and learn about the world and the mind.#im not saying i wouldnt go to therapy if i could afford it...but i guess im defending my right to make a post about the past every year-ish.#it helps#t
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𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞:
— when the one thing they swore was theirs tries to escape.
— warnings: yandere themes, don’t worry i think they are softie yanderes 🥺💞 i couldn’t make them too mean. fear-play, mentions of toxicity.
xavier – “i’ll fix you myself.”
you made it exactly 36 hours before he found you. things with yandere xavier were simple. you just needed to behave and be his. be solely his. sometimes he got jealous and may even manhandle you a little. bruise your plush thighs when you try to squirm away when he holds you close. “baby, my little star. don’t force me to be mean, hmm?” he just wants you to be his good little girl. why is that so hard for you? sigh… though, xavier never thought you’d be the one to escape from him one day. now that… really sucks and really stings…
he didn’t even need a tracker—he followed the trail of your injuries, your scent, and your regret. because the moment you took advantage of his long mission & escaped. you knew he would find you soon. his evol makes it all the way hard for you to run anyway. and honestly? how can you? he has been alive for about two centuries now. god knows how is he feeling about this right now. you managed to find a shelter eventually to take a little rest. your body feels sore & broken. like maybe you should’ve reconsidered.
when he appears in the doorway of the abandoned shelter you’d been hiding in, there’s his sword in his hand and the kindest smile on his face. you know it’s him from the way his evol lit up the entire place like sun in the middle of the night. oh he is fuming. pathetically angry that even words are failing him. but there’s also… relief.
“your pulse is too fast. that won’t do, my little starlight. we’ll regulate that soon.” is all he says, walking closer, watching you cower with no empathy as he carries you princess style.
you have a collar next, around your neck. you can’t even think about escaping from him now. he runs you a warm bath, silent, like the eye of the storm. “i need to understand what makes you run.” xavier wants to punish you. wants to see how sorry you are. but three whole days of being without you is a little too much.
“escaping was a symptom, little one. but don’t worry, we have a cure.” the cure? locks in the entire house. whatever tiny shred of freedom you had been taken away. he at least let you exist freely before. not anymore.
zayne – “you said you loved me. that makes you mine.”
you disabled your evol tracking chip, smashed your comms, and even changed your identity, you had planned this for a while. zayne was always so disciplined; always knew what to do and when. escaping from him needed discipline too. so you pretended to love him, to be his pliant little girl he cherishes. and honestly there were moments when you were almost not pretending. when his warmth truly felt comforting.
but then the incident with greyson happened— you two were having a friendly little chat. and that showed you just how warped and deep zayne’s antice and jealousy roots flow. just how cold he can be, like his evol. while eating lunch, two restraints locked onto your wrist as he interrogated as to — what exactly was so funny that greyson said. by the end of it, you had teared up, lip wobbling and zayne’s faux warmth coddling you and comforting you…
now that you think you’re safe and done… it’s enough; right? it’s been four months now. right? didn’t matter. zayne’s love is algorithmic. and as a lead cardiac surgeon with projects that include expansions with ever, patients that are so powerful, and dawnbreaker with subconscious of finding you. where could you really go?
so one day, he just appears in your new house. knocking softly. and when you open the door, you know what’s next. fury. zayne’s expressions are neutral. incomprehensibly neutral. “good morning. little one.” he hums, walking and inviting himself inside as he settled into the couch. “i see you’ve lost some weight, have you not been keeping up with the desserts you like? or do you only eat them when i order?” he hums as if he’s used to this…. that’s what scares you about zayne the most.
“are you going to start packing or do you want me to?” he raises a brow next. you truly don’t want to witness the brat tamer inside him. “zayne—“
“not a word.” is all he says. carefully helping you pack up everything. with reverence. carefully picking apart your new life, piece by piece.
once he has you, he doesn’t touch you—he isolates you. he just does his duties, tends to you, makes sure you eat healthy meals, helps you on your period. but doesn’t talk, doesn’t say anything. it’s as if you are his little pet who he can’t understand — or worse, doesn’t want to understand.
one thing about zayne is… he is patient. so he patiently waits when you feel vulnerable, patiently waits for when you feel sorry. when you come to him on your own and wrap your arms around him, when you kiss him just to feel a speck of his warmth. then— he rage fucks you. pours out all the heartbreak and aggression… but now you want it. you’re lovestarved…
rafayel – “this is what heartbreak makes me, bride.”
rafayel, your cute little famous artist. who can get a little bit unhinged at times. wait, actually, a lot unhinged at times… you remember when he named a new flower species on your name. guess that’s what a lot of money can do for someone. when you do decide to escape from him, it’s because of his lack of boundaries. we want sex, we want to go out on a walk, we want to travel today. there was always ‘we’ and rafayel didn’t understand ever… what could be more important to you than spending time with him.
when he does find you, he is livid. not the rafayel you know. his scales are visible and he is sickened by the fact that you tried to break his heart again. his jaw is ticking and he decides you need to be somewhere you have no chance of escaping from. the sea.
he stands beneath your window, a monstrous thing draped in iridescent scales and divine wrath. “let’s go home, my beloved bride.” is all he says, gripping you by the neck and tugging you closer to his chest. “since you didn’t want me on your own, i will make sure you fall in love with me.” in lemuria… in the sea…
“you killed the man who would’ve worshipped you. so i became a god.” is all he says. taking you down the trenches while you whine and cry, struggling against the merman. “you will not be punished ofcourse, but guess i need to try something new.”
“you can rest now, little fishie. the nightmare was leaving me.” he croons softly, hands running through your hair as you cry softly. rafayel is delusional in the sense that he knows he will make you fall for him again. there are no ifs and buts. never will.
sylus – “run again. sweetie. i want you to.”
sylus doesn’t chase. he hunts. and you’re about to meet the side of him again which you saw when you first met. him forcing to resonate with you. the problem is, he didn’t let you go after. anywhere. you were there, in the onichynus compound. rotting. there were days you played games with luke and kieran, there were days mephisto helped make you feel less lonely… less confined. but you missed your old life. you missed it way too much.
and when you do run? he lets you run. the n109 zone stretches for miles, and he wants you to burn out there. wants you to remember every second you tried to outpace him. wants you to remember how it feels to be a pawn in the onichynus territory. when you reach the n109 zone borders, he finally decides he’s bored of this cat and mouse game. sylus is honestly disappointed… and a little enraged. he did think you would warm up to him eventually. but he warmed up more, and faster. fell in love harder…
when he catches you (because of course he does), his hands are hot like fire, his voice like smoke. “you’re lucky i love you, kitten. if it were anyone else…” he doesn’t finish the sentence. just smiles. his usual cockiness hiding behind the betrayal. this is also the first time ironically, that he admits he loves you. earlier, it was just actions.
he drags you back to the Onychinus compound, lips against your throat as he enters through, “every security node’s now coded to your breath pattern. try running again. i dare you.”
the marks he leaves on your supple skin aren’t just bruises—they’re ownership.
“if you want to run so bad, don’t get caught. i will break your legs next time and let you crawl back to me.” no he won’t. he is the king of empty threats.
your eyes glass out, your throat feels clogged as you witness the same side you loathed and hated all over again. “i’d rather die then.” you scoffed. watching his expressions fade into shock and sadness… then rage.
hand grasping your throat, “oh that’s not how that works, kitten. i would drag you back to whichever place you go to. you and i are one. always have, always will.”
caleb – “you really broke me, pipsqueak.”
he’s quiet for days after you vanish. lets you go to linkon, lets you have the faux feeling of safety. when you left colonel caleb’s island house in skyhaven, you were adamant on two things. 1) you don’t want this version of him. 2) he has always been this way. the last argument where he made it pretty clear he was sick of playing this family game. gege… but then he kept you here. put skyhaven’s travel on lockdown. no one goes in and out. and when he eventually lifted it, you were ready to leave.
then the moment you are in linkon, he shows up, soaked in rain, colonel uniform. eyes fixated in livid rage, the one you are used to seeing when caleb doesn’t get his way. the one you’ve seen countless times but cuts too deep every. single. time.
“you’ve eaten? pips?” he raises a brow before getting inside, looking around the house as if he belongs there. and then… typical caleb behaviour. “you know, you really hurt me when you left skyhaven.” he hums, pinning you against the nearest wall, tucking your chin up as he smiles. “and i wanted to make sure you are safe and sound. away from everyone… in a world that belongs to just the two of us.”
he doesn’t drag you back—he guilt-trips you, lovebombs you, whispers about forever until you start believing you’re the villain. if you don’t want to live in skyhaven, then caleb will live with you. you see how exhausted he gets when he books coelum express everyday. you see how sleepless he gets whenever you shun him to the couch & he doesn’t get to hold you, you see how angry he gets when your colleagues suddenly make plans to take you away…
caleb has patience. he has practised insurmountable amounts of thick and grimy patience whenever you were teens. he knows how to be with you. he knows you inside out. even when you’re moody, even when you’re overwhelmed, even when you’re crying one day because you miss the version of him that feels like home. because he’s caleb, he’s always going to be by your side.
of course you give up, and decide to come back to him— and once you’re back, he locks every door, he bolts everyone from seeing you. caleb did say he would host a funeral your friends can attend. so you know the depths he is willing to reach just for you.
“you can’t leave if you’re part of me, right? maybe it’s time we merge. you can’t ever leave without my permissions. i’ll lurk, i’ll love you— even if you don’t need me to. even if, it’s messy.” he hums, holding you and craddling you in his lap as the heavy and high windows get drenched with skyhaven’s heavy rain. lightning and thunder causing you to curl up right against him.
you realize too late—he never needed chains. just your love, warped beyond repair. and if you can’t give him, he will make do with his love — also warped, beyond repair.
a/n: welp — i got carried away about caleb but as you guys know i am not normal about my baby at all :3 lmfaoo. i hope you guys like this one <3 comment and reblog please💞
taglist: @arxyl @whmnx @strawberrydragon24 @eve-rockin-blog @bakugoushotwife @scorpion-squadron @foggybasementprince @santaluna @maaic @insidious-innocence @angstyfrog @lucreied
#lads#love and deepspace#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#yandere lads#yandere l&ds#yandere caleb#yandere sylus#yandere zayne#yandere xavier#yandere rafayel#caleb x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#lads caleb#lads sylus#lads rafayel#lads zayne#lads xavier
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Have You No Idea That You’re In Deep?
Summary: You come across an edit of young Luke while he’s asleep next to you in bed. You can’t hide your emotions and wake him up from crying so violently.
Paring: Luke Hughes x fem!reader
Warnings: all fluff and crying <3
Author’s Note: Inspired by this tiktok i saw a few months ago that made me gasp out loud. Haven’t stopped thinking about it since
Word Count: 1.7k
It’s late. Really late. Too late to be on your phone. You’re too engrossed in TikTok, convincing yourself it’s okay to endlessly scroll as a way to shut your brain off after a busy day. Luke has been snoozing away next to you for hours at this point.
There really is no rhyme or reason to your For You Page. Some are recipe videos, some are stand-up comedy bits, and others are part 16 of a full-length feature film. You tell yourself you’ll stop scrolling once you find the best video of the night. The right TikTok that satisfies you enough to say ‘Okay, yeah, I should stop now.”
You think you’ve found it when you scroll once more and your boyfriend appears on your screen. You’ve never actively searched Luke’s name on TikTok, but it doesn’t surprise you that he shows up quite a bit. From the number of times you like the Devils' posts, send things to Luke, and, quite frankly, just say his name out loud, you know your phone is listening to you. The algorithm knows all. Can you blame a girl for indulging in some thirst traps of her boyfriend?
A soft smile forms on your face as the video starts, Hozier’s cover of Do I Wanna Know? playing over clips of Luke. Nothing too crazy, just some clips of him in interviews. You’ve seen this trend before and wait with bated breath, expecting the song to flip to the original Arctic Monkeys version with clips of Luke looking rather…. scrumptious.
But that doesn’t happen. The song doesn’t change; instead, the shots of Luke do. It’s no longer the current-day man that sleeps a foot away from you. Rather, it’s young Luke. The boy who became your best friend at birth. The boy you grew up with. The boy you fell in love with.
The switch to adolescent Luke feels like a gut punch. You can’t stop thinking about your lives together. How you’ve always had one another. Even in those clips of baby Luke, you knew him when he first learned to skate. You knew him during his time in the program. You know him now, fulfilling his dream of being in the NHL.
It suddenly became all too much. You don’t even realize you’re crying until a tear drops onto your phone screen. The more you rewatch the video, the more you cry. You think you have it under control, but every time the plot twist happens, your body betrays you, shuddering and gasping. You cover your mouth with your hand when you start to feel something shifting next to you.
“Babe? What’s going on?” You hear a very tired and confused Luke rasp out.
Still actively crying in the dark, you respond, “Nothing Lu, go back to sleep.” You hope he’s too drowsy that he can’t properly comprehend your mental state. There’s no way you can explain this to him right now.
“Are you laughing or crying?” Luke asks, having definitely picked up on your unsteady voice.
“I think both?” you answer truthfully. This is seriously ridiculous, you think to yourself. The absurdity of the moment makes you cry more.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Luke softly questions while leaning over to turn the bedside lamp on.
When the bulb illuminates the room, you get your first good look at his face since before you both retired to bed hours ago. And that just breaks the dam. The sight of his matured face, merely inches away from you, combined with the young, baby-faced Luke you were just watching on repeat, causes you to wail out a full-on sob.
Luke’s eyes go wide, sleep fully gone from his body. He quickly caresses your arm up and down to soothe you.
“Am I that ugly?” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood.
“No, no, not at all. I just…” you trail off.
“What? What’s wrong?”
This can’t be happening. What are you even supposed to reply? Tell the truth and look like a fool? He’s never going to let you live it down.
“Nothing, it’s stupid.” You settle on, hoping he’ll just let it go.
“It’s not stupid if it has you this upset.” God, why is he so good to you? Your tears still fall, this time at his tender care for you.
“You’re going to laugh at me.”
“I promise I won’t,” Luke says seriously, staring into your eyes. You frown to yourself, not budging. “Baby, please tell me why you’re crying. I’m not going back to sleep until we figure this out.”
Looking back at him, you sigh, “It’s silly,” your last futile attempt to get out of this hole you’ve dug yourself into. If only you were a quieter crier.
Luke just fixes you a look, his eyes boring into yours, as to say ‘I’m not dropping this.’ You finally cave and turn your phone towards him. Luke’s brows furrow as the video starts, confused about where this is headed.
“A TikTok made you cry?”
You weakly roll your eyes at your chronically offline boyfriend.
“When don’t TikToks make me cry?” you ask rhetorically, earning a laugh from Luke.
As the video shifts to clips of young Luke, and your breathing gets a bit more staggered rewatching, Luke softly smiles to himself. His eyes look in your direction and see the look on your face. One full of love.
Luke knows he’s still young, but those moments seem like a lifetime ago. He can’t believe how far he’s come in such a short amount of time. He’d say he can’t believe you’ve been there alongside him the whole time, except he can believe it. Because that’s who you are. That’s who you’ve always been to him. The person he could turn to for anything. When he wasn’t sure if being drafted to the Devils would be a good or bad thing for him. When he felt his whole life turn upside down in a second as he left Tampa after losing the Frozen Four. When he felt like he wasn’t the player he knew he could be during his rookie year. All those moments where Luke felt like the walls were crashing in on him, you single-handedly pushed them off of him.
Then the video ends, and you both turn to look at each other. Your lips are pulled into the cutest little frown, eyes glassy and red, with a stray tear rolling down to your neck. Luke takes in the sight before him and bites his lip to make sure he doesn’t crack, but you see right through him.
“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH!”
“I'M NOT LAUGHING! I’m just… smiling because you’re so cute.” Luke reacts, clearly laughing.
You just pout, letting out a whine as you roll your head onto Luke’s shoulder. Instinctively, he wraps his arm around your waist to get you as close as possible.
“Baby, why did that make you cry?” Luke inquires while softly brushing the hair on the back of your head with his free hand. His head rests atop yours.
“Because you were so young and that was the boy I fell in love with but waited so long to tell when we could've been loving each other since then instead of both suffering in silence!” You blurt out in one whole sentence, no time for pauses, as your tears start back up at how much time you feel you’ve lost with Luke.
“You’re acting like we weren’t in each other's lives then,” Luke replied amused at your dramatics but still soft enough to let you know he’s not dismissing you.
“But we weren’t in the way we are now. And you were so precious then! But I didn’t get to kiss your face the way I do now when I think you’re being cute!”
Luke fondly smiles before saying “we happened when we were meant to happen.”
“You didn’t even know I loved you then,” you mumble as you wipe your tears, not happy your boyfriend isn’t indulging in your pity party.
Silence washes over the two of you. Luke continues to stroke your arm as a means of comfort. He turns his head to place a kiss on your temple.
“I did. I knew.”
You pivot your head to look at your boyfriend. Faces only a few inches away from each other. There’s something about Luke’s eyes that act as a magnetic force. Once you catch a glance, you can’t look away.
“Yeah?” you ask above a whisper, not wanting to seem too hopeful, as if he’d care about that.
“Yeah.”
You suddenly feel vulnerable. You and Luke have been in each others lives since birth. You started dating after his playoffs debut. Obviously both of you loved each other before then. However, you never really went into when you both fell in love. You feel exposed having told Luke you loved him since your early teens.
Needing his reassurance, you quietly ask, “and you loved me then too?”
Luke’s stoic face lights up, a smile slowly stretching across it.
“Completely adored.”
You swallow your nerves down with the revelation of Luke loving you back at the same time. With the new found confidence, you say “so why not then? Why didn’t we get together years ago instead of waiting?”
“We were young,” Luke shrugs before continuing, “I don’t think we would’ve been able to give each other what we wanted if we started then. We both had to figure out who we were before we committed to this.”
“But it’s us,” you defend, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Because it is.
Luke laughs at your persuasiveness.
“Look, we both wanted each other then, right? But we both had so much maturing to do. And once we did that, we both still wanted each other. That’s how we were able to find our way to where we are now. Neither of us were in the way of the other, we were just…on the sideline. Cheering each other into the right path.”
The tears start again. You look down at your phone, picturing all the memories of you and Luke as toddlers, kids, teenagers, and now young adults.
“I miss us being young together,” you confess.
“You’re going to say that about us now in thirty years. We have the rest of our lives to spend together. And prove how much we love each other,” Luke reassures you, and you know he means it.
“Now can you please put your phone away and cuddle with me?”
#luke hughes#luke hughes fic#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes x you#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes imagine#bells writes sometimes
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NEPTUNE.

Hyunjin x reader. (s,a)
Synopsis: In a distant future where an app can predict your death, a retired dancer and an ambitious swimmer cross path by chance. With their final day looming, they choose to share it together, finding unexpected connection in the fleeting hours they have left. (19,6k words)
Author's note: With this fic, I hope that you get to realize that no matter how small your achievement is, it matters. You are matter. Happy new year, everyone! ❣
In the distant future, death isn’t a mystery. It’s an appointment.
It started with a breakthrough—an algorithm said to be so precise it could predict the exact day someone would die. Governments called it progress, a tool to manage the chaos of an overburdened planet. They named it Mortem. What they didn’t expect was how quickly the app would seep into the fabric of life.
People stopped planning for the long term. Relationships became fleeting, careers lost their permanence, and calendars filled with expiration dates. Death notifications became part of the noise—just another alert blinking alongside weather updates and dinner reservations.
But Mortem wasn’t perfect. It couldn’t tell you the when—only the day. That meant hours, minutes, or fleeting seconds could separate you from the end. For some, it was a mercy. For others, a torment.
Tonight, the city pulses with quiet tension, as it always does. Neon lights flicker against a backdrop of endless skyscrapers, their glass walls reflecting a future built on progress and control. Somewhere, phones buzz softly, notifying their owners of an unchangeable truth: Tomorrow is your last day.
For those who receive the message, there are choices to make. Will they cling to the comforts of routine, pretending the day ahead is like any other? Or will they seek something different—a chance to hold onto life for just a little longer?
Two strangers will soon find themselves asking that same question. Their lives have never crossed before, but by the time tomorrow ends, they will have shared something no one else can understand.
-
5:00 a.m.
The alarm pierces the early morning silence, jolting Hwang Hyunjin awake. With practiced ease, he silences it, sitting on the edge of his bed as he stretches his long arms. His back arches slightly, muscles awakening as he bends forward to gather his thoughts.
The world outside is still cloaked in darkness, but Hyunjin is already lacing up his running shoes. A quick double knot secures them before he presses play on his playlist, music flooding his ears and sharpening his focus.
The crisp, cool morning air greets him as he steps outside. It stings against his skin, but he welcomes it, inhaling deeply as he begins to run. His strides are steady, powerful, each one cutting against the wind. His long, dark hair bounces with the rhythm of his movement, dampened slightly by the early morning mist.
After completing his route, Hyunjin stops by his favorite bakery, where the warm aroma of freshly baked bread envelops him. He orders his usual: a selection of warm pastries and a steaming cup of coffee to go. Back at his apartment, he settles by the window, the city stirring to life beyond the glass. He takes slow bites of his breakfast, sipping his coffee as the first golden rays of sunlight paint the skyline.
It’s moments like this, quiet and unassuming, that he treasures most. They remind him of the beauty in simplicity, grounding him before the demands of the day.
By ten o’clock, Hyunjin arrives at the training center, his focus razor-sharp. He begins with a grueling gym session, pushing his limits to strengthen his arms and back. The burn in his muscles is a familiar companion, one he embraces with resolve. Sweat drips down his chin as he finishes his final set, his determination unwavering.
But this is only the beginning.
Hyunjin steps into the aquatic center, the sharp scent of chlorine filling his lungs. In the locker room, he changes into a sleek pair of swimming briefs.
"How are you feeling, my man?" A friendly pat on his back pulls him from his thoughts.
"Excellent," he replies confidently, catching his reflection in the mirror as he adjusts his swim cap. His friend's grin widens, sensing the energy radiating off him.
"What's your current record?"
"For the 100 or the 200 medley?" Hyunjin asks, slipping the last strands of his hair beneath the cap."You know which one I'm asking."
"47.12." A proud smile curves his lips.
"Bet you can take it to 46 today," his friend challenges, tossing his shoes into his locker.
The words hang in the air, lighting a spark in Hyunjin. He doesn’t need the push—he’s already determined—but the encouragement fuels his fire.
Hyunjin steps onto the pool deck, his reflection shimmering on the surface of the water. Memories of his younger self flicker in his mind, the boy who first discovered the joy of being in the water. Back then, it felt like another world—quiet, weightless, serene.
That love hasn’t faded.
He dips a hand into the pool, splashing the cold water onto the back of his neck. It’s a small ritual, an anchor before the dive. His goggles are snug against his face, a protective barrier between him and the world above.
Hyunjin climbs onto the starting block, his heart steady, his goal clear. He holds the current record in the 100-meter freestyle, but today isn’t about records or accolades. It’s about pushing himself to the edge, chasing a version of himself he’s yet to meet.
The whistle shrieks, and Hyunjin dives.
The water welcomes him, enveloping him in its familiar embrace. Each stroke propels him forward, every kick slicing through the resistance. His body moves in perfect harmony, years of training reducing the act to instinct.
To Hyunjin, the sky isn’t the limit—it’s just the beginning. And soon, he knows, he won’t just swim among the clouds. He’ll soar beyond them.
-
8:02 a.m.
The studio is quiet, save for the soft creak of polished wood beneath your bare feet. Sunlight streams through the high windows, casting long beams across the mirrored walls. You breathe in the familiar scent of resin and faintly worn leather, grounding yourself in this sacred space.
This is how you always start your mornings: alone, warming up in the quiet before the day begins. It’s a small luxury, one you’ve come to cherish in a world that feels anything but certain.
You stand in the center of the room, your reflection poised and still. Slowly, you move through the routine, arms lifting, legs extending, muscles lengthening with every step. The rhythm flows from memory—an old habit, a comfort that never falters.
Then, it happens.
A sharp ping breaks through the silence, echoing off the walls.
You freeze mid-pirouette, your balance wavering. Across the room, your phone sits on the bench, its screen lit up with a single notification. For a moment, you don’t move. It’s not unusual for your phone to chime—messages from parents, reminders for classes—but something about the sound feels heavier this time.
You exhale, lowering your arms. Whatever it is can wait. You’ve always finished what you started, and today will be no different.
You push forward, completing the warm-up with careful precision. The movements are second nature, your body carrying you through muscle memory. But there’s a weight in the air now, and with each step, your focus frays a little more.
Finally, you stop.
The studio falls silent again as you walk toward the bench. Your pulse quickens when you see the notification’s source: Mortem.
You stare at it, your breath catching in your chest. The app sits there, waiting, the message unread. Tomorrow is your last day. Is that what it will say? Or will it be another date, far off in the future?
For a moment, you consider turning away. Dancing has always been your escape, your solace. Maybe one more routine will help you clear your mind.
You step back toward the center of the studio, muscles coiled and ready to begin again. But something stops you. A voice, faint but insistent, whispers at the edge of your thoughts: Face it.
Your hands tremble as you pick up the phone. You swipe the screen, heart pounding in your ears, and open the notification.
Your eyes lock onto the date, and for a moment, everything freezes. Confusion flickers in your chest, followed by the sharp pang of disbelief. You’d told yourself you were ready for this, that the day would come eventually, but seeing it spelled out so plainly shakes you.
And then, as quickly as it came, the chaos fades. You take a deep breath, grounding yourself as you’ve done countless times before. The truth is undeniable, and no amount of fear will change it.
You’ve made your peace with death. You always knew it would come soon. And now, soon is here.
-
3:22 p.m.
Dahlias.
Your mother’s favorite flowers. They stand out vividly against the muted tones of the hospital’s inpatient ward, clutched close to your chest as you make your way to her room.
It started with an ache—sharp and unrelenting—but she didn’t see a doctor until the nausea and loss of appetite became impossible to ignore. Six months ago, the diagnosis came: stage 3 pancreatic cancer. The doctor gave her six months to a year to live, and with every agonizing moment, you’ve come to understand why she wishes the end would hurry along.
But the notification she hopes for never arrives.
“Honey, I haven’t gotten my notification yet,” she mutters the moment you step into her room. Her voice is flat, a mix of irritation and resignation, as her eyes glance at the flowers in your hands.
She’s always irritable after chemo, so you don’t let her tone sting. Instead, you walk to the sink, filling a vase with water.
After the nurse checks her IV and blood pressure, you’re left alone with her. The silence isn’t new, but it feels heavier today.
“They said six months. Why am I still here?” she groans, struggling to adjust her pillow.
You hurry to help, carefully setting the vase of dahlias on the bedside table. They brighten the room immediately.
“They’re beautiful,” she finally says, softening just a little.
“I’m glad you like them,” you reply with a faint smile.
Your mother has always lived with vivacity. She wasn’t one for small dreams; she lived a thousand of them. In her teens, she wanted to be a singer. By her twenties, fashion called her, leading to an internship at a fabric shop. There, she befriended a chef who inspired her to pursue culinary arts. It was during that chapter of her life that she met a classical musician—your father.
And you.
Her dreams shifted then, morphing into family and love, and for years, she poured herself into creating a home filled with warmth. When your father passed, she found a new dream: becoming a florist. She turned it into a thriving business.
Until six months ago.
“Are you eating well?” she asks suddenly, her concern for you breaking through her fatigue.
You nod. “Yes.”
“What did you eat this morning?”
It’s a routine question, part of her new reality where food tastes like nothing. Asking you lets her imagine the flavors she misses.
“I had cranberry ciabatta from the bakery across the street,” you lie gently.
She hums contentedly, closing her eyes. “They make the perfect ciabatta.”
“Mom,” you say softly, taking her frail hand in yours.
“Yes, my darling?”
“What would you cook for your last dinner?” You smile to hold back the lump in your throat.
Her face lights up, pleased by the question. She’s always loved sharing her stories, and now they’re all she has left to give.
“For an appetizer, I’d make eggplant croquettes,” she says with a teasing grin.
“Mom, not the eggplant,” you protest, wrinkling your nose.
Her laugh is weak but genuine. “Okay, okay. How about scampi bruschetta?”
“Now that’s more like it,” you say with exaggerated approval.
She closes her eyes, envisioning her creation. “With thyme and lemon. I’d toast the ciabatta for five minutes—just enough for a crunch—and sear the shrimp with olive oil and a pinch of salt. Then sauté spring onions with thyme, lemon zest, and honey. Acacia honey.”
As she speaks, her voice gains strength, her enthusiasm igniting memories of her former self. Between recipes, she slips in anecdotes, turning her imagined last meal into a tapestry of her life.
You hang on every word because you know these stories matter. They are her, distilled into moments you’ll carry forever.
And yet, the cruel irony doesn’t escape you.
You were supposed to be the one holding her hand at the end, not the other way around. The thought pierces through your heart as you sit there, smiling at her stories. She has spent six months longing for death, only for it to come for you first.
She deserves to rest, to find peace after everything she’s endured. You would have done anything to give her that. But the universe is merciless. It has flipped the natural order, leaving her with the unbearable task of outliving her child.
The injustice of it sits heavy in your chest, threatening to choke you. How is it fair that the one who wants to die must keep fighting, while you—her child—are robbed of the chance to live?
By the time she moves to selecting drinks, her eyelids grow heavy.
“You’re sleepy, Mom,” you whisper, smoothing the duvet around her.
She nods, offering a tired smile. “I’m just a little tired these days.”
You watch her closely, memorizing every line of her face, every glimmer in her weary eyes. “You look beautiful today.”
Her smile deepens, faint but radiant. “I know.”
“You’ve always been beautiful,” you add, unable to stop yourself.
She chuckles weakly. “I look good with cancer, huh?”
You laugh softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, committing her image to memory.
As you stand to leave, her hand clasps yours, pulling it to her chest. For a moment, it rests there, and just when you think she’s asleep, she lifts her other hand to pat your head.
“You’re a superstar,” she whispers. “I adore you so much.”
Those were her bedtime words to you as a child, and now they hit deeper, wrapping around your heart with bittersweet comfort.
In her eyes, you will always be her child, no matter how much of the world you’ve seen or what you’ve become.
As she drifts to sleep, you kiss the back of her hand, releasing it gently. You take one last look at her before leaving the room.
This isn’t goodbye. It’s not the last mother-daughter moment, either, because in life and in death, she will always be your mother.
For you, death isn’t the opposite of life. It’s simply a part of it.
-
6:16 p.m.
“46.92!”
The words ring out in the humid air of the locker room as Hyunjin’s friend pats his back enthusiastically. They’re both standing under the shower, letting the day’s fatigue wash away.
“I see a gold medal in your near future,” his friend adds, grinning.
Hyunjin can’t stop the smile that creeps onto his face. The thought of victory is intoxicating, the image of standing atop the podium almost tangible. He can taste it—sweet, like honey.
“Beers? What do you think?” another teammate calls out as Hyunjin turns off his shower head.
For a moment, he’s tempted. He deserves it, doesn’t he? Breaking his personal record, getting closer to his dream—surely, a small celebration wouldn’t hurt.
But discipline pulls him back. His body is his temple, and the bread he allowed himself this morning was already a rare indulgence.
“Not tonight,” Hyunjin says, his tone polite but firm.
“Next time, then,” his friend replies easily, shrugging it off as he heads for the lockers.
The others filter out, their laughter and chatter fading down the hallway until silence envelops the space. Hyunjin is alone now, drying his damp hair with a towel. He moves methodically, packing his bag, folding his towel, tucking everything neatly into place.
When he pulls out his phone, a cluster of notifications greets him. Most are messages from his teammates—congratulations, plans for the weekend, harmless banter. He skims through them absentmindedly until one notification stops him cold.
It stands out like a blot of ink on an otherwise pristine page.
Mortem: Tomorrow is your last day.
For a moment, Hyunjin forgets to breathe. The locker room feels impossibly quiet, the white noise of the air conditioning fading into nothingness.
He reads the notification again, hoping—no, praying—that he’s misunderstood. But the words remain the same.
Hyunjin’s legs feel unsteady as he forces himself to move, his bag slipping from his shoulder as he stumbles toward the pool. He steps onto the edge, the scent of chlorine sharp in the air. The water is eerily still, reflecting the overhead lights in perfect symmetry.
He looks down at his reflection, and what he sees isn’t the confident, ambitious swimmer who broke his record earlier today.
It’s someone hollow. A boy with dreams just out of reach, crushed under the weight of a cruel truth.
His fists clench at his sides as anger rises in his chest, hot and unrelenting.
“FUCK YOU!” he screams, his voice tearing through the silence, reverberating across the chamber.
The sound ricochets off the walls, rippling across the surface of the water. His reflection distorts, breaking apart into fragments before settling again, unfamiliar and unkind.
They say death comes at the right time. A gentle visitor, arriving only when it’s supposed to.
But that’s a lie.
It doesn’t care about dreams or sacrifices. It doesn’t care that Hyunjin has spent years of his life in pursuit of one thing, pushing his body and mind to their limits.
It doesn’t care that he’s so close.
And now, when victory is within his grasp, it will take everything away.
He closes his eyes, chest heaving as he fights to steady his breathing. The rage doesn’t subside—it sits in his chest, a molten core of grief and frustration.
Hyunjin knows there’s nothing he can do to stop what’s coming. But for tonight, he lets himself curse the unfairness of it all, his voice echoing into the void until there’s nothing left but silence.
For Hyunjin, death is a thief.
-
7:22 p.m.
Alcohol is never your first choice. You’re not a fan of the bitter aftertaste or the burn as it slides down your throat. But tonight, you need something to dull the ache.
Your phone lies face-up on the bar, the notification glaring at you like a cruel joke. It’s accompanied by offers—a funeral service arrangement, a hotline for counseling.
You stare at the screen, unsure how to even begin processing it all. Sadness feels too small a word for the heap of emotions weighing you down. Beneath the sorrow lies a sliver of joy at the thought of not having to endure another day. And beneath that, a fragile sense of relief that it will soon be over.
How do you explain that to anyone? How do you untangle that mess of feelings, let alone share them with a therapist?
The bartender doesn’t ask. He doesn’t need to. Your sadness is written all over your face.
An hour passes, your drink long since gone, and you finally decide to leave. The bartender approaches, not with the check but with a bottle in hand.
“Here,” he says, taking your empty glass away.
You blink at him, confused. “I’m ready to pay—”
“I’m not taking your money,” he interrupts, pouring liquid from three different bottles into a pair of shot glasses with precise movements.
It clicks belatedly in your mind—some unspoken gesture, one you wouldn’t have recognized if you didn’t spend most of your nights at home.
“May I ask what this is?” you say, eyeing the amber liquid as he slides the shot glass toward you.
“The Three Wise Men,” he says with a faint smile.
“And who are they?”
“Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam, and Jack Daniels,” he explains, gesturing to the bottles on the counter.
“Ah...” A small laugh escapes you. “Very wise indeed.”
He lifts his shot glass, holding it up in a silent toast. “Ready?”
You hesitate, your hand wrapping around the glass. “Any tips for this?”
“Don’t think. Just swallow.”
You nod, mirroring his stance.
“To the three wise men,” he says.
“To the three wise men,” you repeat, exhaling before tipping the shot back. The liquid burns all the way down, leaving a warmth in its wake.
“Whoo...” the bartender exhales, slamming his glass upside down on the counter.
You mimic him, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “That was…” You pause, laughing nervously. “…something.”
He chuckles, leaning on the counter as his gaze sweeps the bar. “They say you’re either living to die or dying to live.”
The room feels quieter for a moment as his words settle.
He sighs, his voice softening. “But you know what? I only pity the living.”
The statement strikes you in a way you can’t quite articulate. You don’t want to die, not really. But the thought of living, with all its weight, feels far worse.
“Another round?” he offers, holding up one of the bottles.
You shake your head. “No, thank you. I haven’t eaten dinner, so I don’t think that’s… wise.”
“See? You learned from these men,” he teases, capping the bottle with a grin.
You pull out your wallet, sliding a card toward him. “At least let me pay—”
He steps back, hands raised in mock surrender. “Use the money to buy yourself a nice dinner, okay?”
There’s no arguing with him, so you reluctantly tuck your card away. “Thank you,” you say softly, your voice heavier with gratitude than the words can carry.
He nods, his smile kind. “Hey, I needed that shot too.”
You rise from the stool, glancing back as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Have a great night.”
The bartender is busy with another order, but a few steps later, his voice calls out to you.
“See you on the other side,” he says, raising a hand in farewell.
For a moment, you pause, then nod, offering a faint wave before stepping out into the night.
-
7:45 p.m.
There's nowhere to go.
You’ve been walking aimlessly since leaving the bar, letting your feet lead the way. Your hands are stuffed into your jacket pockets as you stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn green. The thought of returning to your apartment, where silence lingers like an unwelcome guest, feels unbearable.
You could visit your mother again, but the idea of seeing her only to leave her forever—it's too much to handle.
There are so many things you want to do, yet none of them feel right.
The light finally turns green, and you step off the curb. But before you can take another step, something grabs your shoulders and pulls you back. A motorcycle speeds past, narrowly missing you.
Your mind goes blank. Instead of your life flashing before your eyes, everything shuts down for a moment.
"Come on!" a voice urges. A hand takes yours, pulling you across the street just as the light turns red again.
You don’t realize what just happened until you’re safely on the other side. Someone has just saved you. If they hadn’t stopped you, that motorcycle might have dragged your body halfway down the street.
You turn to look at your savior and freeze. He’s beautiful—stunning, even—and for a moment, you’re speechless.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice gentle but tinged with concern.
His words snap you out of your daze, and you hurriedly compose yourself. "Yeah, I’m sorry, I was—"
"No, no, it’s not your fault. That motorcycle ran the light," he interrupts, shaking his head.
Why are you apologizing? You should be thanking him. But when you look at him, the words catch in your throat, so you glance away. "Thank you… for, uh, earlier," you manage to say.
He smiles, and his eyes curve along with it, warm and genuine. But then his next words take you by surprise.
"Your death isn’t today, right? I’m pretty sure it said tomorrow."
You freeze again, alarm bells ringing in your head. How does he know that? You take a step back, suddenly wary.
Realizing he’s scared you, he raises his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I’m sorry—I should’ve explained first."
He lowers his hands and exhales before continuing, "I was in the bar earlier. I accidentally saw the notification on your phone when I was getting my drink. And then I followed you..." He grimaces. "Wait, that makes me sound like a creep."
He stops rambling and pulls his phone from his jacket pocket, tapping the screen until it lights up. He turns it toward you, revealing a notification identical to yours.
His death is tomorrow, too.
"I guess we’re doomed, huh?" he says with a shrug, his tone oddly lighthearted.
You’re at a loss for words, staring at the screen and then at him. How is it possible that someone like him—this beautiful, radiant man—is doomed?
He puts his phone away and looks at you earnestly. "I know this is sudden, and random, and... probably really weird. But do you want to have dinner with me?"
It is sudden, random, and undeniably strange. But as you look at him—this stranger who saved your life—one thought crosses your mind: What’s the worst that could happen?
You’re going to be dead in a matter of hours anyway.
"Okay," you say.
-
08:10 p.m.
The two of you decide to walk to dinner, hands tucked into your jacket pockets, his adjusting his beanie every few steps. He finally breaks the silence as you pass the second block from where you met.
"I'm Hyunjin, by the way," he says.
You glance at him and give your name in return. When you expect the exchange to end, he extends his hand, and you shake it, feeling the chill of his skin against yours. His long fingers, adorned with rings, seem oddly delicate.
"Nice to meet you," he says with a small smile, pulling his hand back to adjust his beanie again.
“So... when did you get your notification?” he asks after a beat.
“This morning,” you reply, freeing your hands from your pockets now that the silence has been broken. “You?”
He tilts his head back slightly, lips pressing into a thin line. “Two hours ago.”
A strange feeling of unease stirs inside you, but he doesn’t let the conversation falter. “How do you feel about all this?”
“All this?” you echo.
He nods, waiting for your response. You search for the words, trying to name the whirlwind of emotions you’ve carried since the moment you opened that notification.
“I feel... alright, I guess.”
Hyunjin stops mid-step, turning to look at you with incredulity. “Alright?”
You shrug, unsure how to elaborate.
“You’re not angry? At all?” His tone sharpens, his brow furrowing in disbelief.
Angry? That hadn’t crossed your mind. There’s an odd peace in accepting what you can’t control, a clarity you never expected. You shake your head. “No.”
His eyes darken, and he mutters, “Well, I am.” He starts walking again, this time faster, his strides growing wide and purposeful.
“I’m livid,” he says through gritted teeth. “If death had a face, I’d punch it.”
You pick up your pace to match his, almost jogging, until he notices and abruptly halts.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his frustration dissolving into concern.
You nod, panting slightly.
He chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling into crescent moons. “Sorry, I tend to walk fast when I’m angry.”
The two of you fall into a slower, more deliberate pace, hands swinging at your sides. You want to ask what exactly makes him so angry, but before you can, he stops again.
“We’re here,” he announces, holding the door open for you.
You step inside and immediately feel out of place. The restaurant is elegant, full of people dressed to the nines. Self-consciousness creeps up your spine, and you spin around to look at him—only to bump into his chest.
“Sorry,” you mumble, looking down.
Hyunjin steadies you with a firm grip on your shoulders. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” you say quietly, stepping back to stand behind him.
“Table for two, please,” he tells the hostess.
She leads you to a table by a large window overlooking the city, the full moon casting a gentle glow over the skyline. As she places menus in front of you, Hyunjin mutters a polite thank-you, his attention already elsewhere.
You glance at him as he removes his jacket, folding it neatly over the back of his chair. He seems unbothered by the setting, completely at ease. He flips open the menu, his eyes scanning the options.
“Any ideas on what to have?” he asks, glancing up at you.
You fumble to open your menu, pretending to read it while avoiding his gaze. Finally, you lean forward and whisper, “Don’t you think we’re underdressed?”
He gasps dramatically, as if your words remind him of something crucial. Tugging off his beanie, his dark hair tumbles down, slightly damp and shiny, framing his small face. He ruffles it quickly, then shrugs.
“Steak? Pizza? Pasta?” he suggests, ignoring your question entirely.
You hesitate. When he offered to take you to dinner, you’d imagined a casual spot, maybe a pizza joint or noodle bar. Not this. And while you’re trying not to think about money, the menu’s prices make your stomach turn.
“I think we should go somewhere else,” you say quietly, your eyes darting over the options.
“Why?”
“It’s... too expensive.”
Hyunjin laughs, low and amused. “Do you think I can’t afford it?”
You shake your head frantically. “No, no, that’s not what I meant—”
“I’m kidding,” he interrupts with a grin. Leaning forward, he drops his voice to a whisper. “Honestly? I can probably only afford a plate of pasta and garlic bread.”
Your eyes widen, but his sly smile makes it clear he’s joking again.
“Good thing we’ve got the pity card,” he says, leaning back with a nonchalant shrug.
You freeze, reminded of the pity card. It’s a small perk that comes with the notification—a free pass to almost anything, covered by taxes. A gesture from the system to say, “Sorry you’re dying soon—here’s a little something.”
But the thought of using it makes your skin crawl.
“No,” you say, shaking your head firmly. “Not the pity card.”
“Why not?”
You struggle to explain. “It just... feels wrong. I don’t want their pity.”
Hyunjin raises a brow. “Who cares? We’ll be dead in a few hours.”
Before you can respond, a waiter approaches to pour water and set down a plate of bread. Hyunjin thanks them softly, then turns back to you.
“It’s not like we’re taking their pity with us to the grave,” he says, lifting his glass. “So, what do you say?”
You glance at the clock on the wall. Four hours left. Soon, none of this—money, pity, pride—will matter.
“We only die once, right?” you say, lifting your glass awkwardly.
Hyunjin laughs, his grin lighting up his face. “We only die once,” he echoes, clinking his glass against yours.
-
8:20 p.m.
You're not much of a conversationalist, so Hyunjin takes it upon himself to break the silence, his curiosity about you driving him forward. He has a myriad of questions on his mind but decides to start simple.
"May I ask what you do?"
His question makes you look up at him, and after a moment's hesitation, you place your hands under the table and answer with a sheepish smile, "I'm a ballet instructor."
The pieces click into place for him—the flowy skirt, black tights, and your hair tied neatly into a bun.
"So, you're a ballerina," Hyunjin remarks, nodding thoughtfully.
"I was," you correct him softly.
He tilts his head, his brows furrowing slightly. "Was?"
"I'm retired," you say briefly, offering another shy smile.
Hyunjin blinks in confusion. Retired? You seem far too young for that. "May I ask why?"
You adjust the cutlery in front of you, your hand steady despite the weight of your words. "I got into an accident a couple of years ago. I badly injured my leg, and the doctor insisted I stop dancing if I wanted to keep walking..." Your voice trails off, and your lips curve into a sad smile as you avert your gaze.
The weight of your story hits him. He can empathize with the sense of loss; after all, his situation is eerily similar. You had to give up your passion because of an accident, while he faces an abrupt end because of the ticking clock. Both of you are here, grappling with the unfairness of it all on what could be your final hours.
"It's like that saying," you continue, "‘Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.’ So that’s what I’m doing now." You tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear and flash him a reassuring smile, but Hyunjin isn’t convinced. He recognizes the facade; he’s worn it himself.
"And you're not mad about it?" he asks, fully aware he might be treading into private territory.
"I was, for a long time. But eventually, I realized there’s no point in drowning myself in anger."
This time, your smile is different—genuine, even serene. It’s as if you’ve made peace with the cruelty of life, embracing it with quiet strength. Hyunjin admires it, though he knows how hard it must’ve been for you to reach that place.
He takes a breath and shifts the conversation, sensing the need to lighten the mood. "So, you’re teaching at a dance company?"
"A dance academy," you correct him with a nod. "I teach girls between the ages of seven and sixteen."
He can picture it easily—you, guiding a room full of eager young dancers, patient and warm. You probably make their favorite teacher list without even trying.
"And what about you?" you ask, lifting your glass of water for a sip.
"I'm an athlete," he replies.
"Ah..." you murmur, intrigued. "What sport?"
"Take a guess," he says with a playful grin, leaning back in his seat.
Your laughter fills the air, and you give him a once-over, your eyes narrowing as you search for clues. After a moment of deliberation, you venture, "You’re tall and lean so... basketball?."
Hyunjin chuckles, pleased with the compliment but shakes his head. "Nope."
You purse your lips in thought. "Soccer?"
"I like soccer," he admits, leaning forward, "but that’s not it."
You groan in mock defeat, covering your face with your hands. "I’m terrible at this!"
Hyunjin laughs, finding your reaction endearing. "I’m a swimmer," he reveals.
Your eyes widen in surprise. "That’s amazing!"
"I was scouted for the national team," he says, a hint of pride in his voice. "I was supposed to compete this summer."
The realization of his words hits him mid-sentence, and the excitement drains from his face. Summer is two months away—a future he knows he won’t see.
"That’s incredible," you say gently, your empathetic smile offering comfort.
Just then, the waiter arrives with the menus, saving the atmosphere from slipping into melancholy.
"Would you like to order some wine?" the waiter asks, presenting a list.
You scan the menu and suggest, "I think I’ll have white wine."
Hyunjin glances over the options, muttering to himself, "Vanilla and peach... sounds nice."
"Viognier, sir?" the waiter recommends.
Hyunjin looks to you for approval, and your small nod seals the deal. "We’ll have that," he says.
The wine arrives alongside your meals, and the two of you fall into a rhythm of eating, sipping, and conversing between bites.
"How long have you been swimming?" you ask.
"Since I was eight," he replies, pausing to take a sip of wine.
"Wow. I didn’t even realize I wanted to be a ballerina until I was twelve," you admit.
He’s struck by how much more at ease you seem now, whether it’s the wine or simply warming up to him. "What did you want to be before that?"
"A lot of things. An astronaut, a doctor, a ventriloquist..." You pause, your cheeks flushing with a laugh. "A vampire slayer."
Hyunjin bursts into laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. "You really wanted to be everything."
"My mom broke my heart when she said I couldn’t be a vampire slayer," you say, your expression deadly serious.
"Honestly? I’d be sad too," he jokes, grinning.
You lean in, lowering your voice as if sharing a secret. "Then she told me this: ‘It’s okay if you can’t achieve your dream. You can always go back to sleep and live a new dream.’"
Your laughter carries across the table, and Hyunjin smiles faintly, though the sentiment hits too close to home. Finding a new dream is one thing—but having the time to chase it is another entirely.
You finish your meal and dab your lips with a napkin. "The academy I teach at isn’t far from here, just a few blocks away. I actually have to stop by to grab a few things."
You glance at him, your expression soft. "Do you want to come with me?"
The invitation catches him off guard, but the warmth behind it makes it impossible to refuse.
"I’d love to," Hyunjin answers, smiling. For a fleeting moment, he feels less alone in facing the inevitable—because now, at least, he has a friend.
-
09:15 p.m.
"We'd like to pay with this," Hyunjin slides his phone across the table to the waiter.
The waiter studies the screen for a moment. You can see the subtle shift in his expression as realization dawns—Hyunjin's pity card, stark proof of his limited time, is what he offers as payment. The waiter looks back at both of you, his eyes softening, probably assuming this is some kind of farewell dinner.
He forces a smile and says, "We'll process it right away."
Hyunjin raises his eyebrows at you, a small grin tugging at his lips as if to say, Here it comes.
Sure enough, the waiter, taking a step away, turns back around and says solemnly, "We're very sorry."
Both of you burst into quiet laughter, your shared amusement breaking the gravity of the moment.
"That's one!" you tease, raising your coffee cup as if to toast.
When the waiter returns with Hyunjin's phone and the bill, his demeanor is still tinged with melancholy. As Hyunjin signs, the waiter fidgets slightly, clearly wrestling with unspoken words. In the end, all he offers is another subdued, "I'm very sorry."
You glance at Hyunjin with a smirk. "Two," you whisper under your breath.
The waiter departs, but not before the lady at the till calls after you as you're leaving. "Thank you, and we're very sorry."
The moment the door closes behind you, you and Hyunjin burst into unrestrained laughter.
"A hat trick!" he says, shaking his head, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.
As you stroll to the academy, you find yourselves critiquing the meal like professional food critics, though the details blur in your slightly tipsy haze. The wine stands out—delicious enough that you’d kept asking for refills. Thankfully, the cool evening air helps clear your head by the time you reach the academy.
You unlock the studio door, the faint scent of wood polish and faint traces of rosin welcoming you. The dim overhead lights flicker on, casting a warm glow over the polished floor and mirrored walls. Hyunjin steps inside, his eyes widening as he takes in the space.
"This is where you work?" he asks, his voice tinged with awe.
You nod. "My second home."
Hyunjin walks around the room, his footsteps echoing softly against the floor. He pauses by the ballet barre, running his fingers lightly over the smooth wood. "This place is beautiful," he murmurs.
You smile, setting your bag down. "It has its charm, doesn't it?"
His gaze falls on the wall of framed photos—groups of smiling children in costumes, candid shots of performances. "Are these your students?"
"Yes," you say, walking up beside him. "They’re the reason I still love what I do."
Hyunjin glances at you, his expression soft. "I can see why they'd love you as a teacher."
The compliment catches you off guard, and your cheeks warm. Quickly, you motion to the barre. "Want to try something?"
He raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Are you offering to teach me ballet?"
"Why not?" you say, grinning. "You’re an athlete. It’ll be fun."
-
10:25 p.m.
You stand in front of him, arms crossed, as Hyunjin tentatively grips the barre. His tall frame looks comically out of place in the elegant studio.
"Okay," you begin, stepping closer. "We’ll start with something simple—a plié."
Hyunjin looks at you skeptically. "A what?"
You laugh softly. "It’s just bending your knees. Easy."
Demonstrating, you lower yourself gracefully, your knees bending outward as your back stays straight. Hyunjin watches, nodding, and attempts to mimic you.
His execution is… not as graceful.
"No, no," you say, laughing, stepping behind him to adjust his posture. "Straighten your back. And don’t forget to keep your heels on the ground."
You place your hands lightly on his shoulders to guide him. The moment your hands touch him, he stiffens, looking up at your reflection in the mirror.
"Relax," you say softly, your gaze meeting his.
He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and finally eases into the position. You step around to face him, studying his form critically.
"Not bad," you tease. "But your turnout needs work."
"What’s that?" he asks, genuinely curious.
You tap his knee gently. "It’s the angle of your legs. Let me show you."
You crouch slightly, your hands brushing his calf as you adjust his stance. He watches you intently, his dark eyes following your every move. When you glance up, you find him staring.
"Something wrong?" you ask, standing upright.
He blinks and shakes his head. "No, it’s just… you’re really good at this."
You chuckle, stepping back. "It’s my job."
Encouraged by your patient coaching, Hyunjin tries another plié. It’s still a little stiff, but he manages to get through it without wobbling.
"See? You’re getting the hang of it," you say, clapping lightly.
"Don’t lie," he says, laughing.
"Okay, you’re still stiff," you admit with a grin, "but that’s expected. Ballet is all about control and precision."
Hyunjin straightens up, rolling his shoulders. "It’s harder than it looks."
"Now you understand why ballerinas are tough," you say, playfully nudging him.
He laughs, the sound light and carefree. "Okay, what’s next?"
You hesitate, considering. "Maybe a pirouette?"
"A what?"
You demonstrate the spin, moving with effortless grace. Hyunjin stares, wide-eyed.
"Yeah, no," he says, laughing nervously. "I’ll break something."
You step closer, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "I’ll guide you. Trust me."
As you position him for the spin, your hand lingers on his waist. The closeness brings an unexpected tension between you, and for a moment, neither of you moves.
"You ready?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Hyunjin nods, his eyes locked on yours.
"Okay. One… two… three."
He spins—clumsily, of course—but the two of you dissolve into laughter as he nearly stumbles into you. You catch his arm to steady him, the laughter fading as you find yourselves standing mere inches apart.
"Not bad for your first time," you say softly, your hand still on his arm.
Hyunjin smiles, his gaze lingering on you. "Only because I had a good teacher."
-
10:55 p.m.
The quiet of the studio wraps around you like a soft blanket, interrupted only by the faint hum of the overhead lights. Hyunjin leans against the barre, watching you adjust your pointe shoes with practiced precision. The thought has been circling his mind since you both left the restaurant, but now, in this space that seems so deeply a part of you, he can’t hold back his curiosity.
“So…” he begins cautiously, his voice light but uncertain, “how did it happen?”
You pause, looking up at him with a flicker of confusion.
“I mean, your accident,” he clarifies quickly, his expression apologetic, as though he’s afraid he’s overstepped. “If it’s okay to ask.”
A faint smile touches your lips, and you straighten, leaning against the mirror. “Two years ago,” you say softly, the words feeling fragile yet certain, as if the memory lives just on the edge of your voice.
Hyunjin stays quiet, giving you space to continue.
“I was preparing for an audition—Swan Lake,” you say, your eyes shimmering with a mix of pride and pain. “I’d been working on my fouettés for weeks, trying to perfect all thirty-two of them. It was… everything to me.”
He can see it in your expression, the longing for something lost yet deeply cherished.
“The morning of the audition, I was rushing to catch the bus,” you continue, your hand gesturing lightly as though retracing steps from that day. “I was almost out the door when I realized I’d forgotten my shoes—the ones I believed would bring me luck. So, I ran back to get them.”
Your voice falters, and Hyunjin feels a pang of dread, already sensing what comes next.
“When I stepped out of my apartment building, a car came out of nowhere.”
You take a deep breath, your fingers brushing over the edge of the barre. “It wasn’t even going that fast, but the way I fell… My leg took the worst of it. Surgery, physical therapy… the usual.”
Hyunjin swallows hard, unsure what to say. “Do you… regret going back for the shoes?”
A soft, almost bitter laugh escapes you. “Every day.”
The silence that follows feels heavy and fragile, a moment suspended between reflection and grief.
“Can you dance at all now?” Hyunjin asks gently, his voice barely above a whisper, unsure if he wants to hear your answer.
You surprise him by smiling. “Why don’t I show you?”
Standing in the center of the studio, a quiet determination settles over you. The space transforms as you raise your arms, your posture suddenly regal, every movement deliberate and graceful.
“This is the introduction to Black Swan, Act III,” you say, your voice steady. “It’s what I’d prepared for the audition.”
Hyunjin nods, unable to take his eyes off you as you begin to move. You are mesmerizing, every gesture steeped in a passion he can feel even in the silence of the room. But as you transition into the fouettés, he notices the strain in your expression. Your balance falters, your leg wobbles, and before he can call out, you tumble to the floor.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin rushes to your side, dropping to his knees as you prop yourself up on your elbows.
Instead of answering, you let out a loud, breathless laugh that echoes through the studio. You collapse back onto the polished floor, holding your stomach as the laughter spills out, unstoppable.
Hyunjin blinks, confused at first, but the sound of your laughter pulls him in. A small smile tugs at his lips. “You’re unbelievable,” he mutters, lying down beside you.
The quiet returns, the two of you staring up at the ceiling.
After a moment, you speak, your voice softer now, almost wistful. “Sometimes, I like to think there’s another me out there, one who made it to the audition, who got to live that dream.”
Hyunjin turns his head to look at you. Your expression is calm, tinged with longing but also a quiet acceptance.
“And you know what?” you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m happy for her and that’s enough for me.”
Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say, so he simply stays beside you, sharing the silence. There’s something achingly beautiful about your acceptance, the way you’ve found peace in the life you have now.
In that moment, he realizes how much strength it takes to smile at what could have been and quietly say, That’s enough.
-
11:13 p.m.
The studio falls into a comfortable silence, the kind that feels like a warm embrace. After a while, you sit up, brushing your hands over the smooth wood of the floor, and glance at Hyunjin lying beside you. He looks peaceful, almost lost in thought, but you can’t help the smile tugging at your lips as an idea forms.
“I showed you my dancing,” you say, breaking the quiet. “Now I want to see you swim.”
Hyunjin’s head turns toward you, his brows lifting slightly in surprise. “You want to see me swim?” he asks, his voice soft yet curious.
You nod, leaning back on your palms. “It’s only fair. I want to see you doing what you do best.”
For a moment, he studies you, as if trying to gauge whether you’re serious. Then, a small chuckle escapes him, and he pushes himself up to sit beside you. “Alright,” he says, a playful smile spreading across his face. “If you really want to.”
He rises to his feet effortlessly and extends a hand to you, his fingers warm and steady as they wrap around yours. With a strong tug, he pulls you up, but the motion catches you off guard, and your body stumbles forward, colliding with his.
Your breath hitches as you find yourself pressed against him, your hands instinctively landing on his chest for balance. Hyunjin’s hands settle on your waist, steadying you, and for a moment, the world feels still again—but this time, it’s charged with something unspoken.
You glance up at him, and your heart skips a beat when you notice his gaze lingering on your lips. The air feels heavier, your pulse quickening under his touch. His expression is unreadable, his eyes soft yet intense, as if caught in a moment of indecision.
Flustered, you look away quickly, stepping back to put some distance between you. “I should, um, clean out my locker first,” you say, your voice slightly rushed. “Then we can go.”
Hyunjin blinks, the spell broken, and his lips curve into a small, understanding smile. “Alright,” he replies simply, his tone easy and light, as though nothing happened.
You turn toward the studio door, your cheeks warm as you try to steady your racing thoughts. Behind you, Hyunjin’s footsteps follow quietly, his presence a steady comfort in the stillness of the room.
-
11:49 p.m.
As the taxi pulls up in front of the aquatic center, Hyunjin is the first to step out. The cool night air brushes against his skin as he circles around to your side, offering his hand to help you out of the back seat. You take it with a quiet "thank you," and he smiles softly in response, his fingers lingering for a moment before he lets go.
Inside, the center is quiet, the fluorescent lights casting a pale glow over the sleek, tiled interior. Hyunjin leads the way, his footsteps echoing lightly in the stillness, but after a few steps, he notices you’re no longer beside him.
He turns around, his brows knitting together in concern. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
You hold up your phone, its screen glowing in the dim light, and his eyes fall to the numbers displayed there. It’s past midnight. The date has turned, and the realization hits him like a weight in his chest—this is it. The day has come.
“It’s today,” you say quietly, your voice steady but tinged with sadness.
Hyunjin studies your face, searching for any sign of fear. “Are you scared?” he asks softly.
You don’t answer right away, your lips curving into a sad smile instead. Then, with a steadying breath, you meet his gaze and say, “Promise me something.”
His heart tightens at your tone. “What is it?”
“If my time comes first,” you begin, your voice cracking slightly, “I want you to move on. Keep going. Finish your day, okay?”
Hyunjin’s chest tightens, his head shaking before you can even finish the thought. “No,” he says firmly, stepping closer to you. “I can’t do that. Not unless you promise me the same thing.”
You hesitate, your eyes glistening under the soft glow of the lights. After a moment, you nod, your voice a whisper. “Okay. We’ll both keep going.”
He takes your hand in his, his grip firm but comforting. “We’ll do it together,” he says, his voice steady and resolute.
You smile at him then, soft and bittersweet, and he feels his heart ache at how brave you are in this moment.
Hyunjin squeezes your hand gently and tilts his head. “So,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips, “do you still want to see me swim, or is there something else you’d rather do?”
You shake your head, a quiet laugh escaping you. “I still want to see you swim,” you insist, your determination making his heart feel lighter.
He chuckles softly, releasing your hand and motioning toward the pool. “Alright then,” he says. “Let’s make this count.”
With that, he turns and walks with you into the aquatic center, the weight of the clock pressing on both of you, but your shared promise holding it at bay for just a little longer.
-
12:07 a.m.
The sharp, unmistakable scent of chlorine stings your nose as you step inside the aquatic center. The lights overhead cast shimmering reflections across the vast, still water, and you pause, taking it all in. The pool is immense, almost intimidating in its size, with the kind of quiet that feels both peaceful and eerie.
You walk to the edge, peering over cautiously. The water glimmers below, deceptively inviting, but as your gaze shifts downward, the sheer depth of the pool sends a chill through you.
“Can you swim?” Hyunjin’s voice cuts through the stillness, pulling your focus to him.
You shake your head, your lips pressing into a tight line. “No,” you admit softly. “I almost drowned once when I was ten. I’ve been afraid of swimming ever since.”
Hyunjin studies you for a moment, his expression thoughtful. Then, with a small smile, he says, “It’s not too late to learn, you know.”
You hesitate, your arms wrapping around yourself. The idea alone sends your pulse racing, the memory of water filling your lungs still too vivid in your mind. “It’s… not that easy,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze.
Hyunjin steps closer, holding out his hand to you. His voice is gentle but insistent. “Come with me. I can teach you how to swim… without the water.”
You glance at his outstretched hand, uncertainty swirling inside you. But the way he looks at you, so patient and reassuring, nudges you forward. Slowly, you nod.
“Alright,” you say, placing your hand in his.
He leads you to a smaller pool, its drained interior revealing its tiled floor. Hyunjin climbs down the ladder first, but the rungs don’t reach all the way to the bottom, and you watch as he drops the last few feet with an easy, practiced grace.
“It’s not so bad,” he calls up to you, extending his arms. “Come on. I’ll guide you down.”
You grip the ladder, your knuckles whitening as you lower yourself carefully. Hyunjin watches you closely, his gaze steady and encouraging. But as you near the bottom, your foot slips on the slick metal.
Your heart lurches as you lose your grip, your body tilting backward into the empty pool.
“Hyunjin!” you cry out, the name leaving your lips instinctively as panic seizes you.
For a split second, the world tilts and blurs, your breath catching in your throat. The feeling of falling stretches out endlessly, your chest tightening with dread. Is this it? Is this the moment everything ends?
The silence in the pool amplifies the rush of your heartbeat, drowning out everything else.
-
12:15 a.m.
It all happens so fast that Hyunjin doesn’t fully register the moment until you’re lying at the bottom of the drained pool, unmoving. A jolt of fear grips him as he rushes to your side, kneeling beside you.
“Hey,” he calls softly, his voice trembling. His hand hovers over your shoulder, unsure whether to shake you or give you space. Your eyes remain closed, and there’s no reaction. For a second, his breath hitches.
Then, just as his chest tightens with panic, you let out a low whine, your hand reaching for the back of your head. Relief crashes over him so strongly that he nearly laughs out loud.
“You scared me!” he exclaims, leaning closer as he gently brushes his fingers against the back of your head to check for any injury. “Does it hurt here?”
You wince but then immediately chuckle, brushing him off. “That would’ve been such an anticlimactic death,” you joke, trying to sit up.
Hyunjin lets out a shaky laugh, torn between exasperation and amusement. “I don’t think I’d recover from that,” he mutters, helping you up. To make sure you’re okay, he holds up three fingers with a mock-serious expression. “Alright, genius. How many fingers am I holding up?”
Rolling your eyes, you swat his hand away, a grin tugging at your lips. “I’m fine, Hyunjin.”
“You sure?” He narrows his eyes, clearly still worried.
“Yes, I’m sure,” you reply, waving him off. “Now, are you going to teach me how to swim or not?”
He laughs and takes a step back, gesturing for you to follow him to the center of the empty pool. “Alright, since you’re so eager. Do you have a swimming style in mind?”
“Uh… backstroke?”
“Backstroke, huh? Fancy choice.” He teases, listing a few others—freestyle, breaststroke, butterfly—all with a playful grin. Shrugging off his hoodie and tossing it to the side, he positions himself in front of you, standing tall and confident.
“Okay,” he says, holding his arms out in front of him. “Rest your back on my arms. I’ll guide you.”
You hesitate, your brows knitting together. “I don’t know, I might be too heavy—”
“Seriously?” He rolls his eyes and interrupts you. “I’m an athlete. I’m strong enough to hold you. Just trust me.”
Still unsure, you eventually take a deep breath and lean back, letting your weight settle onto his arms. His grip is steady, firm, and reassuring.
“See? No problem,” he says, his voice soft now, coaxing you to relax. “Alright, keep your body straight, like you’re floating on water. Flap your arms back and kick your feet forward, just like this.”
You follow his guidance, mimicking the movements, and he begins to move backward, gently carrying you along. It feels so real that for a moment, you let yourself believe you’re actually swimming.
But then your focus drifts as you glance at him—his sharp features illuminated under the pool’s dim lights, the concentration in his expression, the way he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world.
He catches your gaze and quirks a brow. “What?”
Flustered, you quickly look away, and your hand smacks against the tiled wall at the end of the pool. Startled, you sit up.
“Whoa, swimmer!” Hyunjin teases, his laughter echoing in the empty pool. “If this was real, your head would’ve hit the wall instead of your hand.”
You can’t help but laugh with him, the moment so lighthearted and surreal that it temporarily pushes the looming reality of the day out of your mind.
Hyunjin chuckles as your laughter fades, his hand brushing back his damp hair. The glimmer in his eyes is playful, but there’s an undercurrent of something softer, almost protective, as he watches you sit up fully, still smiling from his teasing.
"Alright," he says, crossing his arms. "You’re not bad for someone who’s never been in the water."
You roll your eyes but can’t help grinning. “Thanks to my amazing teacher, right?”
He bows theatrically. “Obviously. Natural talent helps too, but I’ll let you take some credit.”
You shake your head, standing up as you stretch your arms. “Well,” you say with mock seriousness, “now that I’ve impressed you with my not-so-real swimming skills, it’s your turn to show me what you’ve got.”
Hyunjin straightens, his grin widening. “Oh, you want to see me swim for real?”
“Of course,” you reply, stepping aside and gesturing toward the other end of the pool. “How else am I supposed to judge if you’re actually any good?”
He smirks at your challenge, the competitive spark in his eyes lighting up. “Alright, I’ll show you,” he says confidently, already pulling his hoodie back on. “But don’t blink—you might miss how fast I am.”
You laugh, following him as he leads the way out of the drained pool, anticipation bubbling in the air between you.
-
12:55 a.m.
The aquatic center feels almost otherworldly in its stillness, the faint scent of chlorine hanging in the air. When Hyunjin finally reappears, dressed in nothing but his swimming trunks, towel, and goggles in hand, it takes you by surprise. His tall, lean frame seems even more striking now, the hoodie he'd worn earlier having hidden the breadth of his shoulders and the defined lines of his physique.
You catch yourself staring, and before you can stop it, an awkward giggle slips out. Hyunjin tilts his head, confused but amused. "What?" he asks.
Shyly, you admit, "Nothing, I just— I was starting to get creeped out being here all alone when you went to change."
He chuckles softly, walking to the edge of the pool. He crouches to scoop water into his hand, splashing it onto the back of his neck before straightening up.
"I need to warm up first," he says casually. You nod, stepping back to give him space.
Hyunjin drops to the ground and starts doing push-ups, his muscles flexing with each movement. You’re mesmerized despite yourself, your gaze tracing the way his body moves with fluid strength. Feeling the heat creep up your face, you force yourself to look away just as he finishes, bouncing lightly on his feet to shake out his wrists and arms.
"Don’t blink," he says, smirking as he heads toward the pool. "I swim so fast, you might miss it."
Rolling your eyes playfully, you respond with a teasing, "I’ll try to keep up."
Hyunjin dives in, his body cutting through the water with ease. The rhythmic splashing fills the air, and you can’t help but admire him. Watching him move with such precision and grace, he looks almost otherworldly—like a god emerging from the sea as he surfaces and climbs out of the pool.
The sight of water beading on his skin makes you avert your gaze, your heart racing. Grabbing the towel he'd left behind, you hand it to him without meeting his eyes.
"What did you think?" he asks, running the towel over his hair.
"Eh, it was alright," you tease with a grin.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at your playful jab but chuckles, grabbing a stopwatch from his things. "Alright, critic. Let’s make it official. Time me this time."
"I don’t know if I’ll get it right," you protest, but he waves your concerns off.
"It doesn’t have to be perfect," he reassures you, securing his swimming cap and goggles. Once he’s ready, he asks, "You ready?"
You move closer to the pool’s edge, holding up the stopwatch. "Ready when you are."
Hyunjin steps onto the starting block, his form taut and focused. You start the countdown, your voice echoing slightly in the vast space. "Three... two... one!"
At the sound of "one," he dives in, and the water comes alive with his movement. Squatting down, you watch intently as he powers through the length of the pool and then back again, his speed almost unbelievable. The closer he gets to the edge, the tighter your grip on the stopwatch becomes.
When his hand finally slaps the wall, you hit the button, exhaling in relief.
Hyunjin surfaces, wiping his face. "What’s the time?"
You glance at the stopwatch, still catching your breath. "Forty-six point six-five," you announce, your voice tinged with excitement.
For a moment, Hyunjin looks puzzled, then his expression lights up. Dropping his towel, he strides over and lifts you effortlessly by the waist, spinning you around.
"Wait—did you break your record?" you ask, half-laughing and half-stunned.
He nods, grinning, but the elation fades quickly. As he sets you back down, his smile dims, his joy giving way to something more subdued.
"Hyunjin, what’s wrong?" you ask, concerned.
He shakes his head, forcing a small smile. "It’s nothing," he murmurs. Without another word, he excuses himself to wash up, leaving you alone with the faint ripples in the pool and a lingering sense that something deeper is on his mind.
-
01:08 a.m.
The hot shower does little to clear Hyunjin’s mind, the cloud of thoughts stubbornly lingering as he dries off and dresses. He sighs, running a towel halfheartedly through his damp hair before giving up and heading out.
The sound of his footsteps echoes softly as he exits the changing room, and he sees you standing by the bulletin board, seemingly engrossed in its contents. At the sound of his approach, you turn, your face lighting up with a soft smile. Hyunjin feels something warm unfurl in his chest—a comfort he hadn’t expected.
“You didn’t dry your hair properly,” you tease gently, pointing to the still-dripping strands clinging to his neck.
He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, and you tilt yours thoughtfully. “How about some hot drinks after this?”
Hyunjin arches a brow, a teasing grin spreading across his face. “Hot drinks, huh? I’ve got just the thing.”
The short walk to his apartment is quiet but companionable, and when Hyunjin opens the door, he apologizes for the small, bare setup. His apartment is modest and practical—one room with everything visible at a glance—but he doesn’t seem embarrassed, just matter-of-fact.
He heads straight for the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet. “This is what I mean by hot drinks,” he says, smirking as he pours two glasses.
You both take a sip, and the burn of the alcohol draws simultaneous gasps. Laughing, Hyunjin suggests snacks to enjoy the drinks with and disappears back into the kitchen.
While he’s gone, your attention is drawn to a shelf lined with photos, medals, and trophies. You step closer, taking in the collection of memories. There’s Hyunjin on a podium, his face glowing with pride as he holds up a medal; Hyunjin mid-dive, captured in perfect form; Hyunjin smiling so brightly that the photo seems to radiate his joy.
When he returns, balancing a plate of snacks, he pauses beside you, his gaze falling on the same shelf. For a moment, there’s silence, just the two of you standing there, and then Hyunjin lets out a soft sigh.
Hyunjin sets everything down on the small table, but his eyes linger on the shelf filled with memorabilia. The once-vivid memories of his accomplishments now feel distant, like faded photographs of a life that no longer feels like his own.
He steps closer, his gaze tracing over the medals hanging neatly on hooks, the trophies gleaming faintly under the dim light, and the framed photos of him on various winner's podiums. He can almost hear the echo of applause, the feel of a medal being draped around his neck, the weight of victory sitting proud on his shoulders.
But the applause has long since faded, and what hangs over him now is a heavier truth: it will all become nothing.
Hyunjin swallows hard, the realization pressing against his chest like a stone. Every record he broke, every trophy he held high—soon, none of it will matter. No one will remember him or the things he did. The glory, the pride, the recognition—it will all vanish as if it never existed.
He lets out a shaky breath, his voice barely above a whisper. “All of this... it’s meaningless now. Everything I’ve done—it’s nothing. Soon, it’ll all be forgotten.”
The weight of his words fills the room, thick and suffocating. His shoulders slump as he drops his gaze, unable to meet your eyes. For a moment, he feels like the water he’s so accustomed to—a surface rippling with movement, but underneath, a deep void pulling him down.
You stand beside him, quietly taking in his anguish. Finally, you turn to him, your voice steady, a soft but unyielding anchor against the tide of his despair. “I disagree with you, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin looks at you, surprised by your tone.
“This is... your whole life and it shows that you achieved a lot of great, wonderful things. You can see how far you've become, your triumphs and failures, everything that makes you who you are now,” you say, your eyes locking with his. “And just because the whole world doesn't know how great you are this doesn't mean it's nothing. This is not nothing, this is everything.”
He watches you intently, your words weaving through the storm of his thoughts like threads of light. For a moment, he feels the weight on his chest lift, just enough for him to draw a deeper breath.
It's true that his dream is to make a mark in the world, he wants to be remembered by the world but as he looks at you, Hyunjin realizes that it only takes one person to know what he capable of. He doesn't need the whole world to know that he's great, he only needs one that fully acknowledges him as one.
-
01:22 a.m.
Hyunjin's words linger in the air, heavy with vulnerability, and for the first time since meeting him, you realize just how deeply he craves to make a mark on this world. It isn’t just about the trophies on his shelf or the accolades he’s earned—it’s about the story he wants to leave behind, the proof that he existed, that he mattered.
You see it in the way his fingers hover over the medals, in the wistful look in his eyes as they trace the photos on the shelf. For all his confidence and charisma, there’s a quiet fear beneath it all—a fear of being forgotten, of fading into obscurity when his time is up.
“Hyunjin…” you say softly, stepping closer to him. He doesn’t look at you right away, his gaze fixed on a photo of him on a podium, his smile bright but distant, like a memory that no longer feels real.
You hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to say. But then, the words spill out. “You are something and you're a fool for thinking otherwise.”
That catches his attention. He turns to look at you, his expression unreadable, and for a second, you worry you’ve said too much. But then his lips part, as if he’s about to say something, and he stops himself.
Instead, he just looks at you. Really looks at you. And in his eyes, you see something shift—a softening, a quiet acknowledgment of your words sinking in.
You feel your pulse quicken, the air between you charged with something unspoken. “And I know that we'll go into oblivion soon,” you continue, your voice steady but quiet, “but I'm still here and I know, I know how remarkable you are.”
Hyunjin’s gaze doesn’t waver, and for the first time, you see him without the walls he’s so carefully built around himself. He takes a step closer, his hand reaching out as if to steady himself—or maybe you.
“I don’t know if I can believe that yet,” he murmurs, his voice so soft it’s almost a whisper. “But… thank you.”
The way he’s looking at you now feels different—like he’s searching for something, something only you can give him. And as the silence stretches between you, you feel the weight of it shift into something warmer, something that pulls you closer to him without either of you realizing it.
When Hyunjin leans in, it isn’t sudden. It’s slow, deliberate, as if he’s giving you every chance to step back. But you don’t. You hold your ground, your breath catching as his face inches closer to yours.
And when his lips finally meet yours, it’s soft, almost hesitant, like he’s asking a question he’s too afraid to voice aloud. But as you kiss him back, the answer becomes clear. For this moment, at least, he isn’t alone.
Hyunjin pulls back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm and uneven against your skin. His eyes flutter open, and for a moment, you both stay there, caught in the stillness of the moment. His gaze searches yours, hesitant but vulnerable, like he’s waiting for something—validation, reassurance, or maybe just the courage to believe in himself.
Before he can say anything, you lean in again, capturing his lips with yours. This kiss is different, deeper, more intentional. You pour everything you want him to know into it—all the words he needs to hear, the things you can’t quite say aloud.
You are something. You are remarkable. You are a wonder, both in the water and outside of it.
Hyunjin responds immediately, his hands sliding to your waist, holding you like you’re the anchor he didn’t realize he needed. You can feel the way his lips tremble slightly against yours, the way his touch tightens just enough to keep you close but not trap you.
Through the kisses, you try to tell him everything you feel. That his achievements aren’t meaningless. That his existence isn’t something that will fade into nothingness. That even in the face of the inevitable, he has already left a mark—on you, on the world, on everyone lucky enough to know him.
His hands move to cradle your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as if grounding himself in this moment, in you. His lips press harder against yours, the kiss turning fervent, desperate, as though he’s trying to absorb every ounce of comfort and affirmation you’re giving him.
You can feel the tension in his body begin to melt away, replaced by something softer, something more vulnerable. The world outside fades, leaving only the two of you in this small, quiet space.
When you finally pull back, it’s not far—just enough to catch your breath. Hyunjin’s eyes remain closed for a moment, his expression unreadable, but when they open, they’re shining with something you can’t quite name. Gratitude, maybe. Hope.
“You’re…” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. But he doesn’t finish. Instead, he leans in again, his lips finding yours once more, and this time, it feels like a promise.
The two of you melt into each other, the kisses growing slower but no less intense. You lose track of time, caught in the warmth and closeness, as if the weight of the world has lifted, if only for a little while. For this moment, at least, you’re both enough—just as you are.
-
01:52 a.m.
Hyunjin's forehead still resting against yours, his breath warm against your lips. His fingers trail softly down your arms, and his gaze locks onto yours with an intensity that makes your heart race. There’s no hesitation now, no doubt in the way he looks at you, like he’s trying to memorize every detail, every curve, every moment.
Without a word, he cups your face, his touch both gentle and steady, as if grounding himself in you. His thumbs trace slow circles over your cheeks, and you feel your breath hitch as his lips find yours again, softer this time, yet filled with a quiet yearning.
The world around you feels muted, distant, as he leads you toward the bed. The dim light casts soft shadows, and the room seems to shrink until it holds only the two of you.
“You're breathtaking,” Hyunjin murmurs with a low, sultry voice.
"Wait, wait. I'm..." you protest in breathless sighs, your hips arching, lifting off the bed.
He rushes a kiss on your open mouth, his lips graze yours as he says, "Let go. I've got you."
Your abdomen flexes under his arm as you clench around his fingers so hard it nearly pushes him out of you. His cock has never been so jealous than when you begin to come. Your eyes grow big, and your mouth drops open on a silent scream, and your wall clutches around his long, dainty fingers harder with each pulse.
Unreal. Hyunjin says in his head as he looks at you with a pair of big, lustful eyes.
"Look how gorgeous you are, coming on my fingers." He coos, his eyes traveling down your naked body that feels small in his arms. You moan louder in response and he knows he hits his mark.
Eventually, looking is not enough for him so he uses his free hand to touch you. "Look at your eyes, your mouth, your breasts. This soft, soft skin..."
Hyunjin softly smiles at your beauty as you fall apart around him. "So beautiful..."
You're still climaxing and you need this more than he realized. Which means you haven't had it in a while, at least not this good.
"Hyunjin!" You shriek, almost in a panic.
He presses his plush lips to your ear, his breath hot and tickling. "You look perfect like this."
Low moans are spilling out of you, still coming and struggling to breathe through it. Hyunjin curls his fingers and taps you right in the spot in a quick rhythm, and your eyes roll back a little.
"Good girl, keep coming for me. You're doing so well. That's it, be my greedy girl."
When you collapse onto the bed, he ushers you onto his lap, then cradles your spent body in his arms. As soon as he pulls his fingers out, your thighs press together.
"Don't close your legs." Hyunjin rests a hand on your inner thigh, wanting to see every spasm as he tastes your lips. "You're done hiding from me."
You lie side by side, and Hyunjin hesitates for a moment, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. His gaze searches yours, as if silently asking for permission, for reassurance. You respond with a small nod, your fingers reaching to trace the curve of his jaw.
When he leans in again, it’s slow, deliberate. His lips move with yours in a rhythm that feels like a conversation, one that needs no words. His hand finds yours, fingers interlacing as he presses you closer, as if trying to erase the space between you.
“At least, we don't have to worry about condoms,” Hyunjin makes a funny remark as he settles himself between you.
A chuckle escapes your mouth in response, your head falls back onto the pillow. “That’s one way to see it!”
Hyunjin lowers his mouth on you, his trail of kisses begin from your ribcage, he goes lower and sideways, placing kisses on your abdomen that tenses as his lips get closer to where you want him the most. He flashes you a sly smile before placing the gentlest of kiss on your clit. As if that isn't enough to make you wet, he lands a few licks between your folds and drags his tongue upward only to swirls it around your clit and finishes it with another kiss on your clit, briefly sucking at it before letting go.
“I'm going in, yeah?”
You nod in consent, opening your legs wider for him and trying not to stare too much as Hyunjin will only stare back at you, and you'll likely crumble under his intense gaze.
“Oh...” you bite back a gasp the second you feel him entering you, just the tip but you can already feel that his size is above average.
Hyunjin props his hands on each side of you, deciding to hover above you as he pushes the rest of his length by motioning his hips. In this proximity, you can see the way his pupils gradually dilated and his eyelids fluttering the more of him being inside you. Overwhelmed, Hyunjin throws his head back and pushes the rest of his cock until he's fully sheathed in your warm, velvety walls.
“Argh...” his moan raw and broken as if something wounded him.
The world feels suspended, reduced to just the two of you and the quiet rhythm of your breaths. His bare skin glows in the dim of the light, the contours of his body sculpted with an almost otherworldly beauty.
As he thrusts into you at a slow, steady pace, you reach up, your fingers tracing the elegant lines of his collarbone, the smooth expanse of his chest. Every touch feels like discovering him for the first time, each detail making your heart ache with something too profound to name.
“You’re staring,” Hyunjin murmurs, his voice soft, almost teasing, though a faint blush colors his cheeks.
“Can you blame me?” you whisper, your voice filled with awe as your fingers trail over the curve of his shoulder. “You’re so beautiful, Hyunjin.”
His lips twitch into a small, shy smile, but his eyes stay locked on yours, filled with an intensity that makes your breath catch. “You make me feel like I’m more than I am,” he says quietly, the vulnerability in his voice wrapping around you.
You shake your head, your hand sliding to the slope of his waist, marveling at how perfectly he fits into the moment, into you. “No,” you whisper. “You’re exactly as you are. And that’s perfect.”
He lowers himself slightly, his long hair brushing against your skin as his lips hover near yours. Your hands continue their exploration, tracing the ridges of his ribs, the softness of his hips, and the strength of his arms as they're now propped in each side of your head.
“You’re not real,” you murmur, your fingertips brushing along his jaw, marveling at how soft yet strong he feels. “You can’t be.”
Hyunjin laughs softly, the sound vibrating through both of you. “I’m real,” he assures you, lowering his lips to brush against yours in a kiss that feels as light as air. “But if I’m not,” he whispers against your mouth, “then I’m glad I get to exist in this moment with you.”
Your hand finds his face, cupping his cheek as you pull him down into a deeper kiss, your body pressing against his as if to anchor him to the earth, to you. And in this moment, as you touch and hold and feel him, you believe in the magic of him, in the impossibility made real, and in the fleeting beauty of this shared, perfect moment.
The rest of the night unfolds in whispers and warmth, every touch and movement filled with quiet intimacy. There’s no rush, no urgency, just the two of you discovering and rediscovering each other, as if this fleeting moment is all that matters.
Eventually, the room falls into a soft silence, broken only by the sound of your breathing. Hyunjin’s arm wraps around you, pulling you into the curve of his body. His hand rests lightly against your waist, his thumb drawing lazy patterns on your skin.
In the stillness, he presses a lingering kiss to the crown of your head. “You’re remarkable too,” he murmurs, his voice low and laced with sincerity.
A small smile tugs at your lips, and you nestle closer to him, your fingers brushing against his. For the first time, the weight of the day seems to lift, leaving only this shared moment, this connection, that feels infinite despite the inevitable.
-
02:59 a.m.
The early dawn filters softly through the curtains, casting a bluish glow over the room as you lay next to Hyunjin, your head resting on his arm while his other hand lazily traces small patterns along your back. His warmth surrounds you, and for a moment, the world feels still and quiet.
With a curious smile, you tilt your head to look up at him. “Hyunjin?” you call softly, your voice breaking the comfortable silence.
Hyunjin turns his head to the side and softly gazes into your eyes. “Yeah?”
“What would your perfect day look like?”
Hyunjin grins, a playful gleam in his eyes. “This,” he says, gesturing to the two of you tangled together under the covers. “Right here, right now. Best way to be found dead.”
You laugh and gently swat at his chest, shaking your head. “Stop saying things like that,” you scold, though the smile on your face betrays your amusement. “I want a serious answer.”
Hyunjin hums thoughtfully, his gaze drifting toward the ceiling as he considers. “Okay,” he finally says. “I’d start the day early, maybe before sunrise. I’d drive to this lake I used to visit when I was younger. It’s peaceful, surrounded by trees, and the water’s always so calm in the morning.” His voice softens as he speaks, a hint of nostalgia coloring his words. “It must be beautiful this time of year.”
You shift slightly, propping yourself up on your elbow to get a better look at him. “Is it far?”
“Not too far,” Hyunjin replies, turning his head to meet your gaze. “About two hours by car.”
A spark of determination lights up in your eyes, and you sit up, pulling the blanket with you. “Then let’s go,” you declare, your voice filled with excitement. “Let’s create a perfect day. It’s the last chance we have, so why not make it count?”
Hyunjin looks up at you, his expression softening as his lips curve into a tender smile. For a moment, he says nothing, just gazes at you like you’ve just handed him the world.
“No, let’s just stay here. It's perfect like this,” Hyunjin says with a sly grin.
You gently slap his chest and whine, hoping to put some senses into him.
Slowly, he sits up, leaning closer until his lips brush against yours in a kiss so gentle it feels like a promise. When he pulls back, his face lingers close to yours, his breath warm against your skin. “Okay. Let’s do it,” he murmurs, his voice low but steady. “Let’s go.”
-
03:25 a.m.
Hyunjin is scribbling something on a piece of paper when you return, holding two bags of snacks and drinks from the convenience store. The way his brow furrows slightly in concentration catches your attention, and you pause for a moment, noticing he's using your red hairtie to tie his hair into a low ponytail and engrossed on writing something on a piece of paper.
You step closer and knock on the windshield, grinning as his head snaps up, startled. His wide eyes make you laugh, the sound light and teasing as you shake your head. He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance but leans over to push the car door open for you.
“Need help with those?” he asks, already reaching for the bags in your hands.
“Thanks,” you say, handing them over as he places them neatly in the backseat.
“Did you get everything?” he asks, glancing at the bags.
You nod. “Yep, all set.” Then, reaching into your pocket, you pull out something small and hold it up. “Oh, and this,” you add with a smile.
Hyunjin tilts his head, curious. “What’s that?”
“For you,” you say, showing him the little star-shaped pin in your hand. “Your reward for breaking your time record today.”
His expression shifts, his gaze softening as he looks at the pin. A smile spreads slowly across his face, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything.
Without waiting, you lean in and carefully attach the pin to the lapel of his jacket. “There,” you say, stepping back slightly to admire your work. “Congratulations, Hyunjin.”
He looks down at the pin, his smile widening, and when his gaze lifts to meet yours, there’s a playful glint in his eyes. “You're not going to kiss me?” he asks, his voice teasing yet warm.
You let out a soft laugh and lean in, brushing a quick kiss against his lips. But before you can fully pull away, Hyunjin’s hand comes up to the back of your neck, and he pulls you in for another kiss—deeper, slower.
You giggle against his lips, your laughter muffled between you, and he smiles into the kiss before finally pulling back. The warmth in his gaze lingers, leaving you breathless and smiling.
“Alright,” he says, settling back into his seat and starting the car. “Shall we?”
You buckle your seatbelt, excitement bubbling up as you nod. “Ready when you are.”
Hyunjin glances at you, his own excitement mirrored in his expression. “Alright, here we go,” he says, pulling out of the parking lot, the perfect day waiting just ahead.
-
04:11 a.m.
The hum of the car fills the air as you and Hyunjin drive down the winding road, the sun rising higher with each passing mile. You’re both relaxed, trading stories and laughing as a small mountain of snack wrappers begins to pile up between you. Hyunjin occasionally glances your way, his smile soft but constant, as if the moment itself feels too perfect to break.
Reaching into the bag beside you, you pull out a can of soda and hand it to him. “Here,” you say, passing it over without thinking.
Hyunjin takes it with one hand, his other still loosely gripping the steering wheel. As he shifts his attention to crack the tab open, the can slips from his fingers. The drink spills across the front of his t-shirt in an instant, cold liquid spreading like a stain across the fabric.
“Ah, shit!” Hyunjin exclaims, pulling the car slightly to the side as you grab a handful of tissues.
“Hold still,” you say, leaning over to help dab at the spill.
Hyunjin laughs, the sound tinged with embarrassment as he attempts to help, both of your hands awkwardly brushing against each other. “You’re worse at this than me,” he teases.
“Hey, it’s your fault for spilling in the first place!” you counter, trying to keep your tone light as you both focus on cleaning up the mess.
But then it happens—Hyunjin’s attention strays too long from the road, and neither of you notice the dog suddenly darting into the street.
“Hyunjin!” you scream, your voice sharp with panic as your hand instinctively shoots out to grab his arm.
His eyes snap forward, and his body reacts instantly. The tires screech against the asphalt as he slams on the brakes, the force jerking both of you against your seatbelts. The world feels as though it’s spinning for a second, the weight of the abrupt stop pressing hard against your chest.
The car comes to a halt just inches away from the small, trembling dog, its wide eyes staring at you through the windshield.
Your heart is racing, your breaths shallow and shaky as you sit frozen, staring out at the still figure on the road. Hyunjin grips the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white as he exhales a shaky breath.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice low and thick with concern.
You nod numbly, your voice catching in your throat as you try to answer. “Y-yeah. Are you?”
He glances at you, his expression softening when he sees your trembling hands. “I’m fine,” he assures you, though his voice is quieter now, more careful.
The two of you sit in silence for a long moment, the sound of your racing hearts almost audible in the stillness. Then, Hyunjin glances at the dog, who scampers away unscathed, disappearing into the brush.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking slightly as he turns to face you fully.
You shake your head quickly, trying to reassure him. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” you say, though the adrenaline coursing through your veins makes your words waver.
Hyunjin’s hand hesitates for a moment before it finds yours, his fingers squeezing gently. “We’re okay,” he whispers, almost as if convincing himself.
You nod again, letting out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, we are.”
As the car slowly starts moving again, the tension lingers, but there’s a quiet understanding between you—a shared moment that feels heavier than words, as if both of you silently acknowledge how fragile this perfect day could have been.
-
05:22 a.m.
The car ride is quiet now, the earlier tension still lingering in the air. Neither of you speak for a while, each lost in your thoughts as the road stretches ahead. The sun begins to crest over the horizon, its warm light spilling across the landscape, painting the morning in hues of gold and soft pink.
You reach for the window switch and roll it down, letting the cool morning breeze rush into the car. It sweeps through your hair, refreshing and light, and you close your eyes for a moment, letting the sensation calm your nerves.
When you glance over at Hyunjin, he’s already looking at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You can’t help but smile back, warmth blooming in your chest despite the chill of the breeze.
“Look at the sky,” you say softly, nodding toward the view. “It’s beautiful.”
Hyunjin tears his gaze from you, his eyes following your gesture. The sky is breathtaking, streaked with the first slivers of sunlight that break through the faint morning mist.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, his voice low and reflective. “It is.”
His hand leaves the steering wheel, searching for yours. When he finds it, he laces his fingers with yours and rests them gently on his lap. His touch is warm and grounding, a silent reassurance that everything is okay now.
Hyunjin keeps his eyes on the horizon, the soft glow of the sun reflecting in his gaze. “It’s beautiful,” he repeats, but this time, his voice is heavier, almost wistful, as if he’s savoring the moment in a way he never has before.
You tighten your hold on his hand, the simple gesture conveying what words can’t. Together, you sit in the quiet, watching the morning unfold, the world outside feeling peaceful and endless as the car moves forward.
-
05:40 a.m.
The car comes to a halt, and you step out into the crisp morning air. Hyunjin joins you, stretching his arms over his head with a satisfied sigh. You glance around, the scent of pine and damp earth filling your lungs as you take in the scenery.
After a short walk, the lake comes into view, and you gasp, unable to contain your amazement. The water is perfectly still, a mirror reflecting the sky and the towering trees surrounding it. The faint golden light of the morning casts everything in a dreamy glow. The trees, just beginning to turn with the season, stand like silent sentinels guarding this little piece of paradise.
“Wow,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the soft rustling of leaves.
Hyunjin looks at you, his smile growing at your reaction. He reaches for your hand and takes it, his fingers warm and steady against yours. “Come on,” he says, leading you toward the water’s edge.
The two of you stop just where the land kisses the lake. You peer down at the water, its surface so calm it feels like stepping into a painting.
“It must be freezing,” you say, giving Hyunjin a wary glance.
He narrows his eyes playfully. “That’s what makes it perfect for a morning swim.”
You shake your head firmly, taking a step back. “No way.”
Hyunjin laughs, undeterred. “Trust me. Once you’re in, it’s not that bad.”
You laugh nervously, shaking your head again. “Hyunjin, I still can’t swim, remember?”
His expression softens, and he takes both of your hands in his. “And I told you— No worries, I’ll hold you.” His tone is earnest, his dark eyes unwavering.
Despite your protests, he’s relentless, coaxing you closer to the edge until you’re standing there, shivering slightly in your underwear. You grip his hand tightly, trying one last time to dissuade him.
“Hyunjin, I’m serious—”
Before you can finish, he sweeps you off your feet, his arms locking around your waist. You let out a startled squeal, clinging to him instinctively.
“Hyunjin, don’t you dare—”
But it’s too late. He steps into the water, pulling you with him. The cold shocks your body the second you make contact, and you scream, the sound piercing through the stillness of the lake.
Hyunjin doesn’t stop until the two of you are submerged waist-deep. You’re clinging to him for dear life, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, your legs curling up to avoid the icy water.
“See? It’s not as bad as you think,” he says, his voice light with amusement as he looks down at you.
Your teeth are chattering, and you tighten your hold on him. “You’re right,” you say through gritted teeth. “It’s worse than I thought it would be.”
Hyunjin throws his head back and laughs, his warm breath misting in the cool air. The sound is infectious, and soon you’re laughing too, your voices echoing across the serene lake.
He then adjusts your arms around his shoulders and gives you an encouraging look. “Hold on tight,” he says, his voice warm with reassurance. You do as he says, gripping him as he begins to move through the water with ease.
The cold from earlier feels less harsh now, your body gradually adapting to the temperature. As Hyunjin swims farther from the shore, you cling to him, feeling the strength in his movements as he effortlessly cuts through the water.
“Not so bad now, huh?” he teases, glancing over his shoulder.
You roll your eyes but can’t help a small smile. “I’m still debating.”
When he slows down, you notice just how far you’ve come from the shore. The lake stretches around you, a perfect circle of serenity framed by towering trees. Hyunjin turns to face you, still holding you securely as you float together.
“Relax,” he says, his voice softer now. His hands guide you gently, helping you stay afloat. You take a deep breath and allow yourself to loosen your grip, trusting him.
The stillness of the moment washes over you as you look around. The world seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you suspended in the calm water under the open sky. The reflection of the trees and clouds ripples gently with every movement.
“Still as bad as you think?” Hyunjin asks, a playful glint in his eyes.
You shrug, pretending to be unimpressed. “It’s... alright, I guess.”
Hyunjin bursts out laughing, his joy infectious as it echoes across the lake. He leans in slightly, his arms finding their way around your waist. Before you can react, he pulls you down with him, both of you plunging beneath the surface.
The cold water shocks you as it rushes over your head, and you instinctively hold your breath. A moment later, you break the surface, gasping for air.
“Hyunjin!” you sputter, wiping water from your face. “What was that for?”
He’s already laughing, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. “You should’ve seen your face!”
You glare at him, about to launch into a scolding, but he interrupts by cupping your face in his hands and pulling you into a kiss.
Your protest dies on your lips, muffled by his. You try to hold on to your indignation, muttering complaints against his mouth, but his kiss is too warm, too insistent. Eventually, you give in, melting against him as his laughter hums through the connection.
When you finally pull away, Hyunjin grins at you, water dripping from his face. “Still want to complain?”
You shake your head, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “You’re lucky I can’t swim away from you right now.”
“Exactly,” he says, leaning his forehead against yours. “That’s why I had to bring you out here.”
The water is cold, but in this moment, surrounded by the beauty of the lake and the warmth of Hyunjin’s arms, you’ve never felt more alive.
-
06:21 a.m.
The sun climbs higher into the sky, warming your skin as you sit on the smooth rocks by the shore, your clothes drying slowly in the gentle breeze. Hyunjin’s jacket is draped over your shoulders, a welcome layer against the cool air still lingering from your swim. You glance at him and murmur your thanks, to which he responds with a small, warm smile.
Opening a can of soda, you take a sip, the drink now lukewarm but refreshing nonetheless. You tilt your head toward Hyunjin. “So, what’s next on your perfect day itinerary?”
Hyunjin sets his can down and grins, his eyes lighting up with boyish excitement. “There’s this diner I used to go to. It’s not too far from here. They make the best waffles.”
“Waffles, huh?” you ask, raising a brow, though his enthusiasm already has you smiling.
“They’re amazing,” he insists, his hands gesturing animatedly. “Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, with this maple syrup that’s just—” He sighs in exaggerated bliss, making you laugh.
“Alright, alright,” you say, holding up your hands. “I’m sold. Waffles it is.”
Hyunjin chuckles and shifts closer, his hand reaching up to brush a damp strand of hair from your face. His touch is gentle, his fingers lingering for a moment before he tucks the strand behind your ear. Without a word, he leans in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that’s soft and slow, like the morning sun warming your skin.
When he pulls back, his smile is tender, and it makes your heart ache. “I'm glad I met you.”
“Me too,” you say back while placing your hand on his and hold it tightly.
The sunlight hits right on Hyunjin’s eyes, making them shine as he stares at you. You know you've only known him for barely a day but Hyunjin knows things most people doesn't know about you. He knows your prefers your flowers to be red than blue, he knows your dreams you never say out loud but you secretly wish to come true and that makes you feel significant to him as he is significant to you. You believe that is how Hyunjin going to make a mark on you.
“I’m going to take one more lap around the lake before we go,” he says, his voice quiet yet certain.
You nod, but before he can move, you catch his wrist, pulling him back toward you. This time, it’s you who closes the distance, pressing a kiss to his lips. It lingers, a silent plea that feels like it’s carrying the weight of everything you can’t say aloud. You wish for more time—just one more day, one more perfect morning.
Hyunjin seems to sense it, his fingers brushing softly against your cheek as he gazes at you, a bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. He leans in to press a featherlight kiss to your lips before pulling away completely.
“Don’t worry,” he says with a wink, his voice lighter now. “I won’t take too long.”
As you watch him dive back into the water, the sunlight catching on the ripples he leaves behind, you feel a fleeting, impossible sense of forever. For this moment, at least, Hyunjin makes you believe that forever is within grasp.
-
06:51 a.m.
The warmth of the morning sun wraps around you, its gentle rays brushing against your damp skin. The sky is alive with soft hues of gold and blue, a masterpiece unfolding before your eyes. Overhead, a flock of birds glides effortlessly, their formation cutting gracefully through the stillness. For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to marvel at it all—the simplicity, the beauty, the life you’ve taken for granted.
But the moment fractures.
You glance toward the lake, expecting to find Hyunjin slicing through the water, to hear the rhythmic splashes that have become so familiar. Instead, there is only silence. The lake mirrors the sky, undisturbed, serene, and empty.
A flicker of unease takes root in your chest. You scan the shoreline, your gaze darting to every shadow, every ripple. The stillness feels wrong now.
“Hyunjin?” you call out, your voice tentative, breaking the quiet.
No answer.
You step closer to the edge, the cool rocks pressing into your bare feet, your heart beginning to pound against your ribcage. “Hyunjin,” you try again, louder this time, but the name hangs in the air unanswered.
The warmth of the morning sun seems to mock you now, its gentle rays brushing against your damp skin as the sky stretches overhead, a canvas of soft gold and endless blue. The flock of birds that once felt like a sign of life now drifts aimlessly, their formation a cruel reminder of how fragile everything truly is.
You glance toward the lake, expecting to find him slicing through the water, his laughter echoing in the stillness. Instead, there is only silence. The lake reflects the sky perfectly, undisturbed, as if it had swallowed him whole and left no trace.
Your chest tightens. “Hyunjin?” you call out, your voice soft at first, hesitant to break the quiet.
No answer.
You step closer to the edge, the rocks digging into your bare feet as your pulse quickens. “Hyunjin,” you try again, louder this time, your voice trembling. But the name dissipates into the air, unanswered.
A flicker of unease blooms into full-blown panic. You scan the water frantically, your eyes darting across every ripple, every shadow. “This isn’t funny!” you yell, your voice rising with desperation. “If you’re hiding, just stop it and come out!”
Still nothing.
Fear grips you like a vice, and before you can stop yourself, you wade into the water. The cold seeps through your skin, biting and relentless, but you don’t care. You splash forward, the ripples spreading around you, as though trying to reach him through sheer force of will.
“Hyunjin!” you scream, your voice cracking under the weight of your fear. “Answer me!”
The water clings to you, dragging you down as if conspiring with your helplessness. You tread forward a little more, but you can’t go far. Your feet leave the ground, and you freeze, paralyzed by the sudden depth. You try to push forward, but your body resists—muscles locking up with the knowledge that you can’t swim.
Frustration and panic mix into a volatile cocktail in your chest. You slap the water with your hands, gasping for breath, tears streaming as you scream his name again.
“I can’t do this! Hyunjin!” you cry out, the words breaking apart into sobs. The lake offers no comfort, its silence an unbearable void. You flail for a moment, trying to search the surface, but every movement feels futile.
You cling to the thought of him, to his smile, his laughter, the warmth he carried with him like a shield against the world. But now, that warmth feels so far away, unreachable in the depths of the water.
“Hyunjin!” you cry again, weaker this time, the weight of your helplessness pressing down on you. You force yourself back toward the shore, stumbling onto the rocks as you collapse to your knees, breathless and shaking. “Please, don't— don't leave me...”
The water stills behind you, its surface reflecting the endless morning sky. You look out at it, broken and trembling, your heart refusing to accept what your mind is beginning to believe. It can’t be over. Not like this.
“Hyunjin...”
-
08:01 a.m.
The rocks beneath you feel sharp, unforgiving, but you barely notice. You sit there, knees pulled tight to your chest, your damp clothes clinging to your skin as you watch the rescue team comb through the lake. Every moment stretches painfully, the weight of silence crushing you with each passing second.
Your fingers dig into your arms as if grounding yourself can keep you from unraveling completely. Then, a shout echoes from the water. You see them—a group of rescuers—working together to pull a body from the depths.
Your breath catches in your throat.
They move with careful precision, carrying the body to shore in a black bag. You feel your body trembling uncontrollably as they approach. One of them steps forward, their expression solemn, as they lower the bag in front of you.
"Is this him?" they ask, their voice heavy with the weight of what they know must be unbearable.
You freeze, staring at the zipper of the bag, your entire being screaming to look and yet refusing at the same time. You can’t do it. You can’t see him like that.
But then your eyes catch something—a flash of red against the black. It’s your hair tie, wrapped around his wrist. You had given it to him, smiling at how absurdly adorable he’d looked wearing it. And now, it’s the confirmation you never wanted.
Your breath hitches as tears flood your vision. "It’s him," you whisper, the words breaking apart as they leave your lips.
Slowly, you reach out, your trembling hand finding his through the body bag.
With shaking fingers, you reach at the lapel of his jacket you're wearing and take off the star-shaped pin, the one you had given him just hours ago. It glints faintly in the sunlight, a small reminder of the joy he carried with him. Carefully, you place it in his palm and fold his fingers around it.
"Keep it," you say softly, tears dripping onto the bag. "It’s yours."
It’s cold—his hand is so cold it sends a shiver through you. But you hold it tight, pressing his lifeless hand to your lips. "Wait for me," you murmur, your voice cracking as the tears spill over. "I’ll see you soon, Hyunjin."
You step back as they zip the bag closed, sealing him away from you forever. The sound cuts through the air like a blade, leaving you raw and hollow.
The ambulance arrives, and they load his body inside. You stand there, watching, your hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket. As the vehicle pulls away, your fingers brush against something—a folded piece of paper.
Curious and aching, you pull it out and unfold it with trembling hands. It’s his handwriting, messy but unmistakably his. A list of things he wanted to do today.
Swim in the lake.
Watch the sunrise.
Have waffles for breakfast.
Visit the art gallery.
Hot cocoa at the park.
The last line reads, Buy roses for...
Your lips tremble as you remember the promise you’d made to each other—the promise to keep moving forward, no matter who went first. The memory feels like a cruel joke now, but as you stare at his words, something inside you hardens.
You swallow the lump in your throat, your voice barely above a whisper as you say to the empty air, "I’m keeping my promise, Hyunjin."
The ambulance disappears down the road, and you stand there, the morning sun casting long shadows around you. Still, you refuse to believe that Hyunjin’s gone. He is not, he just goes to sleep to live a new dream.
-
09:14 a.m.
You sit in the corner booth of the diner, the same one Hyunjin had gushed about just hours ago. The waffles arrive, golden and drenched in syrup, the butter melting into small pools on the plate. You take a bite, the sweetness coating your tongue, but it tastes hollow. Your chest tightens as you remember how Hyunjin’s eyes had sparkled when he described them to you, as though they were a treasure worth crossing the world for.
Now, it feels like swallowing shards of glass.
The drive back to the city is quiet, the hum of the engine filling the void Hyunjin once occupied. His note sits folded on the passenger seat, a reminder of the day you’re piecing together without him. You glance at it at every stoplight, as if his handwriting might come alive and guide you forward.
Your next stop is the art gallery. You find his favorite painting almost instinctively, a swirling masterpiece of color and emotion. Sitting on the bench before it, you let your mind wander. You picture Hyunjin here, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his head tilted slightly as he studied the strokes.
"Do you see how the colors bleed into each other?" he would say. "It’s chaotic but still… perfect."
The memory slices through you, and you blink away the tears that threaten to spill.
From the gallery, you walk to a nearby café, the warmth of the cup of hot cocoa in your hands doing little to soothe the chill in your heart. You sit on a bench overlooking the river, the city split in two by its calm flow. The world moves on around you—people walking their dogs, children laughing in the distance—but you’re trapped in stillness.
You think of Hyunjin, of how he was alive and laughing mere hours ago. You think of his voice, his touch, the way he could make the ordinary feel extraordinary.
And now he’s gone.
For the first time, anger stirs beneath your grief. It rises like a storm, raw and uncontrollable. You clench the cup tightly, your knuckles whitening. How could death be so cruel? How could it take someone so vibrant and leave you tethered to feelings that have nowhere to go?
Death is so unfair. It takes the person, but not the love.
-
04:02 p.m.
The world has grown quiet around you, the buzz of the city dimmed to a distant hum as you sit alone on a park bench overlooking the river. The sun dips low in the sky, painting the water with hues of gold and amber. You clutch Hyunjin's jacket tighter around your shoulders, the scent of him still lingering faintly, a bittersweet reminder of everything you've lost—and everything you're about to gain.
The list he left behind is tucked into your pocket, crumpled and worn from your grip throughout the day. You pull it out, scanning the list. There’s only one thing left, unfinished: “Buys roses for…”
He hadn’t finished the sentence. You remember startling him as he jotted it down, and now the incomplete thought feels like a cruel echo. But you know what to do.
You find the nearest florist and step inside, the smell of flowers overwhelming you. "Roses," you tell the florist, your voice quiet but firm. "A bouquet of red roses."
They hand you the bouquet, the petals deep and vibrant, reminiscent of Hyunjin’s flushed cheeks and his soft lips. You trace a fingertip over the delicate blooms before asking for a card.
Sitting at a small table in the corner of the shop, you stare at the blank card. The weight of all you want to say crushes you, an endless stream of emotions that can’t possibly fit onto a single piece of paper.
Still, you write:
For what it’s worth, you showed me that there is such a thing as a perfect day. You made a mark on me, Hyunjin.
Your hand shakes as you finish the words. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to steady yourself, willing the tears to stay at bay. When you’re ready, you fold the card and slip it into the bouquet.
You stand at the corner of the street, clutching the bouquet of roses close to your chest as you wait for the light to turn. The city hums around you, alive and indifferent, the world moving on as it always does. But your mind drifts elsewhere, carried away by memories.
This was the place you met Hyunjin for the first time. You can almost see him standing there, smiling like the world belonged to him. It feels like a lifetime ago, yet so vivid it could have been yesterday. You replay the moment in your mind, the way he held himself with an effortless grace, the way his eyes met yours and lingered, as if he'd been waiting for you his entire life.
The light changes, and the crowd around you begins to move. Lost in your thoughts, you follow them, stepping onto the street.
A distant sound reaches your ears—a horn blaring, tires screeching—but it feels far away, as if it belongs to another world. By the time you register the rushing car, it’s too late. There’s no time to scream, no time to run.
This is it.
-
06:11 p.m.
The world comes back to you in fragments: the cool roughness of asphalt beneath your body, the distant murmur of voices, the sharp tang of blood in the air. Your vision swims, but when it clears, the twilight sky is the first thing you see.
It’s beautiful, painted in hues of lavender and gold, with the faintest blush of pink at the edges. The sight feels distant yet oddly comforting, like a gentle reminder of where you are—and where you’re going.
Your body is heavy, the pain a dull throb that seems to ebb and flow, fading as the seconds stretch on. You’re dimly aware of the rose petals scattered around you, spinning lazily in the air with every gust of wind. They look like they’re floating, as if gravity itself has softened its grip.
You close your eyes briefly and feel something shift inside you—a strange sense of clarity. This is it. You know it, feel it in your very bones. This is your ending.
But there’s no fear. Instead, a deep, resounding calm washes over you, carrying with it the promise of reunion. Hyunjin’s face fills your mind, vivid and bright, his laughter echoing in your ears, his touch still lingering on your skin.
You force your eyes open again, taking in the petals that now rest lightly against your arm, the faint scent of roses mingling with the cool evening air. A soft smile tugs at your lips, even as your breaths come slower, shallower.
Death is not an end, you think. It’s a reunion. It’s a promise kept. It’s my happy ending.
Somewhere in the distance, you hear sirens, but they feel like they belong to another world entirely. You’re beyond that now. Your heart slows, the pain dulls, and in its place is an overwhelming sense of peace.
The light in the sky begins to blur, stars flickering faintly above as if welcoming you home. You can almost feel him, his hand in yours, his voice calling your name like a melody you’ve always known.
Tears slip down your cheeks, but they’re not from sorrow. They’re from relief, from the quiet joy of knowing you’ll see him again, touch him again, love him again.
As the world fades, you exhale one last time, your voice barely a whisper in the wind. “I’m coming, Hyunjin.”
And then there’s nothing but light.
-
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Busted (m!reader x Babymonster's ASA)
masterlist
a little cute epilogue to The Years Next Door
tags(?): fluff
ASA x yourself/Original Male Character
Word count: ~6.5k
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
You didn’t set an alarm. You just… woke up. Naturally. Peacefully. The room was still a bit dim as pale sunlight was leaking through the curtains, casting that sleepy blue-ish tone across the walls. The air was quite dry but your blanket was wrapped around you like a second layer of your skin. Your room was quiet, but not in a lonely way. You stayed like that for a while, the warmth of sleep was still hanging on your face. You then lazily reached for your phone somewhere on the sheets, buried under the blanket from last night. No notification from Asa yet.
7:03AM
You smiled to yourself. Just the thought of Asa made you feel fuzzy and warm inside. You tapped into the chat, thumbs moving without thinking.
[준혁선베🥋]
yah
wake up u sleepy head. it’s criminal to ignore ur boyfriend this early.
Still nothing. Of course not. The two of you stayed up until 2AM to scroll through online clothing stores together. Technically, Asa was scrolling and ranting about fashion algorithms being broken, while you mostly said things like “you would look good in those” and “you suit every color”. You didn’t plan to stay up that long. Asa just kinda kept… going. Every time you thought it was the last link, she’d hit you with “wait, just one more. this is so you.” It was always something slightly overpriced but stylish, and still, you sat through all of it - just happy she kept sending you stuff. After all, Asa knew best. She did completely change the way you dress anyway.
You stared at your phone for a second, then typed again.
[준혁선베🥋]
i’m serious, enami asa. 5 more minutes and imma throw pebbles at ur window
not the cute kind either
i’ll hit the glass dead center
20 minutes later, still no reply. You sighed dramatically and decided to hit the call button.
Calling 김아사🌸
Ring
Ring
Ring
The line finally connected.
“... I will kill you, Seo Joonhyuk.”
Just the voice of Asa and it already made you grin like a fool.
“You say that all the time. I’m still here.”
“I was dreaming.” she mumbled, her voice low, heavy with sleep. “My brain was finally at peace.”
“And now you get to hear me. That’s better, right?”
She huffed - the kind of sound that came deep from her soul whenever you’re being especially insufferable. You could imagine how cute Asa looked right now, lips all pouty, half her face smushed into a pillow.
“Why are you torturing me like this?”
“Because I miss my girlfriend. Also, I haven’t seen your puffy sleep cheeks in a few days and I’m pretty sure I’m going through withdrawal.”
She went quiet for a moment. You could hear rustling, probably Asa pulling her blanket over her body like a cape while trying to get up.
“I swear, if I get up and you’re not at the window, I’m blocking you until the end of March.”
“I am at the window.” you said, hurrying over like a loser, palms on the glass, forehead also pressed against it.
“Come on, I need visual confirmation that Kim Asa is still the most beautiful and cutest human being ever.”
“You need help, dummy.”
“And you need to come to the window. Let’s both get what we want.”
There was a beat of silence, then the faint sound of feet dragging across the floor. You leaned in closer to your window. Her curtain twitched. A tiny peek. And there she was.
Enami Asa.
Your Japanese goddess.
Your muse.
Your source of energy for life.
Your girlfriend.
Yours.
Her short hair was sticking up at every angle - fluffy and chaotic, like she’d just lost a fight with her pillow. Blanket wrapped around her like a burrito. Cheeks soft and round, still a bit puffy from sleep, lips pouty. Her expression blank as she looked at you with eyes half open. You felt your brain short circuit.
Fuck.
She looked ridiculous. And perfect. And ridiculous. And perfect.
You made a face.
“How dare you wake up looking like that?”
Asa blinked at you, slowly.
Then she scrunched her face, in a weirdly elegant way.
“You’re so dramatic.” she mumbled. “Go fall in love with someone else and bother them.”
“Yunah?” you teased, not missing a beat.
The second Yunah’s name left your mouth, you saw it. Asa froze - shoulders tight, mouth no longer pouty, eyes sharpening just a little too fast for someone who just woke up. You just made a mistake. She didn’t move. You blinked. She didn’t speak, just stared. And then, Asa pulled the blanket off her body way too calmly, stood fully upright in the window frame and looked you dead in the eye.
“Say that again.”
Her voice was quiet. Dangerous.
“Uh…”
“No, go ahead. I wanna hear it one more time. Slowly.”
You opened your mouth, trying to come up with an apology. Asa then tilted her head slightly.
“You want Yunah.”
“...No. I was just ki-”
“Because I can make that happen.” Asa shifted her weight, one hand coming up to rest on her hip like she was posing for a magazine cover while planning your emotional assassination.
“I’ll walk right into my bed and let Yunah play with your hair, feed you milk cartons and nuzzle her head on your shoulder. Since you like that so much.”
You blinked. A flashback hit you like a punch - those long, dark 3 months when Asa ghosted you. When you thought she hated you. When the only thing keeping you going was the hope of talking to her again.
“That’s oddly specific…” you mumbled.
Asa didn’t blink, smile or move.
“You’re not funny, Seo Joonhyuk.”
“I know.” you said instantly. “I know I’m not. I’m so unfunny. I’m the least funny man alive.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Do you want Yunah?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Do you want me?”
“Only ever.”
Asa squinted, clearly still mad but starting to fold - you could see the tiny twitch on her mouth. You pressed your head against the glass, dramatic as hell.
“Enami Asa, please don’t let Yunah feed me milk again. I only want you in my life.”
She rolled her eyes, finally, letting a tiny laugh slip out through her lips.
“You deserve sour milk for the rest of your life.”
“I’ll drink it if it’s from you.”
She bit back a smile and closed the curtain in your face, softer this time. Less ‘You’re an idiot. I’m furious.’ and more ‘I’m still pretending to be mad but I already forgave you.’. And you, you stood there like an idiot again. Totally whipped. Absolutely Asa’s. The call was still on, somehow. Asa then said through the phone, voice low and serious.
“I don’t care if you’re joking. Don’t say other girls’ names like that to me before I’ve even brushed my teeth.”
Your heart skipped.
“I’m sorry, daarin*.” you said quickly, the word slipped out naturally.
*darling
You’d started calling Asa that a few weeks ago. She explained it shyly one night while you were both cuddling on her floor, watching some vintage Japanese rom-com with subtitles she kept correcting out loud. You’d repeated it back to her with the worst accent ever, just to mess with her. But now? You used it without thinking.
You also started learning little bits of Japanese - not much, but enough, through lessons in her room or yours a few times a week. Flashcards that looked like they were made for kids. Doodles in her handwriting. Your notebook full of messy and scribbled translations. You now knew enough to understand when she muttered things under her breath when she was flustered, or annoyed. Enough to show her you were listening. That you loved her and cared about her. You also taught Asa English in return. She was really good at it - not perfect but she could understand basically everything. And she was so hot when she spoke English. And Japanese. Or maybe your girlfriend was just gorgeous in general.
The line then went silent. She hung up first. You stared at your phone for about 10 seconds before it lit up.
[김아사🌸]
im going back to bed
bring me my jelly, or else
You grinned.
[김아사🌸]
not any other brands either. my favorite
i’ll open the gate if it smells good and you apologize properly
[준혁선베🥋]
on my way, your highness
with peace offerings and deep regrets
She didn’t reply, she didn’t have to. You knew Asa was already curled up under her warm blanket, smiling at her phone like she wasn’t still mad at all.
Ten minutes later, you were at her gate, bag in hand. You dressed like you were ready for a date with her. Cold air was biting at your face. Before you even raised your hand to knock, the gate creaked open. Asa must’ve been watching. And there she was.
Tank top. Short shorts. Puffy jacket to help fight the cold. Hair still messy. Eyes still a little puffy from sleep. Lips in a pout.
So cute.
“You took your sweet time.” she said.
You held up the bag like an offering.
“Two packs of your favorite jelly and a steamed bun, still very warm.”
Asa stared at you for a second then stepped aside, holding the gate open. You stepped in and dropped on her porch table, wrapped your arms around her waist and her into you. Asa yelped softly and looked up at you, eyes wide. Then you kissed her. Cold nose brushing hers. Asa tasted like sleep and cold air and something you could never put into words. She kissed you back before pulling back, more surprised than mad.
“Joonhyuk…” she whispered. “What if the neighbors saw?”
You blinked and looked around. No one. But still, curtains and windows existed. Nosy aunties definitely existed.
“We’ve lived next to each other for years.” you said. “What do you think they think?”
She stared at you for a moment longer before rolling her eyes at you. Then she turned around and walked toward the door, muttering over her shoulder.
“You’re lucky I love you, dummy.”
You smiled, picking up the bag on her porch table and followed her inside.
Her room was warm. Light from the window poured in soft and pale. The heater humming softly in the corner like background music. You were both curled up on her bed, backs against the wall, legs tangled under the blanket. One of the jelly packs sat on your lap as she dug in, eating quietly.
Asa was curled into you - arms looped around your side, head tucked under your chin, face pressed into your chest. Her body was warm against yours, soft in the way you loved the most. She took another bite of the jelly before picking one up and turning it toward you without saying anything.
“Me?”
She nodded and gently pressed the jelly piece against your lips. You opened your mouth obediently. Asa was watching your reaction.
“It tastes like love.” you said. Asa snorted.
“You’re such an idiot sometimes, Joonhyuk.”
“You like that about me.”
She didn’t deny. Just smile into your chest and enjoy the quiet comfort. Then you shifted slightly, resting your cheek against the top of her head.
“Let’s go out today.”
“Hm?”
‘Let’s do something.” you said. “Walk around. Get food. Go somewhere dumb and romantic. Our families are gone today anyway.”
Asa hummed again, turning to look up at you with half lidded eyes.
“Wanna pick an outfit with me?” she asked, voice soft.
You gasped. “You never let me pick, Kim Asa.”
She shrugged. “I’m tired today, I’ll allow it.”
“Is this a trap?” you were suspicious.
“Maybe.” “Are you gonna fake compliment my choice and choose another outfit?”
“Definitely.”
You laughed, already reaching for her wardrobe.
“You have to trust your boyfriend, daarin. I have impeccable taste, you know?”
Asa sat back on the bed, hands playing with her jelly pack like a queen observing a peasant. You flipped through a few hangers, completely unsure of what you were looking at. Dresses, hoodies, skirts… Then you paused.
“Hey, this is my favorite ‘Back to the future’ t-shirt.”
“You gave it to me when I went over to study for suneung that one day.”
You turned toward her, holding it up.
“I wore it home and you said I could keep it.” Asa pouted. You folded immediately.
“Yeah. Of course. Right.”
Asa smirked, she knew the power she had over you. You stared at the shirt and mumbled.
“You don’t even watch this movie…”
Asa didn’t respond. She just smiled and kept twirling the jelly pack around like she wasn’t out here ruining your life. You then went back to flipping through hangers, drawers - hoodie, skirt, denim jacket… You had seen Asa in almost every outfit. From school uniforms to oversized jackets to puffy sleeve blouses she said was “artsy”. It still amazed you that she somehow slayed everything she wore. Effortless. No wonder she chose fashion design.
You took your time and pulled out what you considered would suit your girlfriend that day. You considered it for a bit.
Yeah, this feels right.
You turned to show Asa, holding everything up like a prize. She looked at the outfit you chose and scanned them carefully. Then she hummed and smiled wide, saying under her breath.
“My boyfriend has taste~”
You beamed and put the clothes on her desk.
“Finally, some recognition.”
She popped another jelly into her mouth, clearly pleased with herself and you. You look back at the wardrobe for a second, then your eyes drifted down. Curiosity hit you instantly.
“What’s in this one?” you asked, reaching toward the lower drawer tucked near the bottom corner. You didn’t wait for an answer and reached to pull it open. Asa’s eyes flicked up from her jelly pack, realizing what you were doing.
“Wait-”
Your froze just as your fingers touched the drawer handle. Then Asa was right there, grabbing your wrist tightly before you could open it. You turned, startled. She looked just as shocked. Eyes wide, cheeks flushed deep pink. Her grip on you was too tight for something this small. Neither of you moved. Neither of you breathed. Your voice came out quieter than you meant.
“...What is it?”
Asa didn’t meet your eyes. She just muttered under her breath, so fast it felt like ripping off a bandaid.
“My underwear, dummy. Isn’t it obvious?”
Your brain stopped functioning. She let go like she’d been burned, spinning on her heel and walking stiffly back toward her bed, arms crossed over her chest. You were still standing there like an idiot, heart pounding in your ears. Asa took a deep breath, so flustered she couldn’t meet your eyes.
“Get out. I have to change…”
You nodded immediately.
“Okay. Got it.”
You shut the door behind you, a little too fast. You then walked downstairs,face still warm, and dropped onto her family couch with a sigh, arms splayed out, staring at the ceiling like it had answers. There was something between you and Asa. You’d known each other for many years. Basically grew up together next door. Dumb fights. First love. Inside jokes that didn’t make sense to anyone else. You’d been dating for over half a year now. Eight months and some change. Official. But still - moments like that one?
You’d both go quiet. Shy. Flustered like you’d never known each other before. Still, you liked that. That it wasn’t smooth at all. That she could still make your heart skip like that - just by grabbing your wrist or saying the word “underwear” too casually.
No matter how close you two got… there was always more to learn. More ways to fall even harder.
And clearly, more drawers to avoid.
You were lying on the couch, still recovering from the emotional damage when you heard the sound of light footsteps moving slowly down the stairs, like she was hesitating with every step. You sat up as Asa walked into view.
She was wearing the outfit you picked - a fitted black top that hugged her frame just enough to make your brain go crazy, paired with a pleated black skirt and tights. A chain belt hung low on her hips, subtle but deliberate. Her short black hair was now brushed out and soft around her face. Asa wasn’t even wearing that makeup yet, but she looked put together already in a way that made your heart thud stupidly against your ribs - just like the day you first met her. An expensive looking bag on her shoulder.
Asa looked flustered, even now. Her arms were crossed for no reason. She stood there for a second, then cleared her throat and asked.
“How do I look?”
You wanted to open your mouth to say something smart or sweet, but you were stunned. You just stared.
“Too much?” Asa asked, shifting where she stood.
You shook your head, but your brain was still doing laps.
“No… uh, you look really good.”
Asa didn’t say anything. She just gave you a small look - one you couldn’t read - and moved to sit on the couch. She dropped her bag to the floor and pulled out her little make up pouch and her compact mirror. She perched at the edge of the cushion beside you, still a bit stiff, like your earlier moment upstairs was still on her mind. With a quiet exhale, she flipped the mirror open and started fixing her eyeliner.
You watched her. You couldn’t stop. The way she leaned in slightly, brows furrowing as she lined her eyes with careful precision. The way her lips parted when she focused. Asa was flustered, yes, but still effortless. Still so her. Your hand twitched on your lap. You didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to mess up the moment by speaking too soon.
You were hers. Completely. And judging by the pink still dusting on her cheeks, she knew it too.
Time passed by slowly as Asa did her makeup. She then snapped her mirror shut and tucked it back into her pouch. You watched her fix her hair one last time, fingers brushing through the ends before letting it fall naturally around her jawline.
“Let’s go upstairs.” you said. “Grab you a jacket.”
Asa hesitated for a second then looked at your arm, at what you were wearing.
“Can I have yours instead?” she said, voice light.
“Mine?”
“Black leather… I think it would complete the look.” she said.
Your heart made a noise. It wasn’t physical but it definitely happened.
“Yeah, sure.” you said, already sliding it off your shoulders. She took it without looking at you for too long. Your jacket made the look even better - like it was meant to be worn like that. You then grabbed your phone, your keys and without thinking, her bag. You slung it over one shoulder. Asa didn’t comment on it. It was the kind of thing you always did now.
You two didn’t have a plan as you walked out of her house. Her arms hooked easily through yours. Her grip was light but it kept you close and connected, reminding you she wasn’t going anywhere, and neither were you. You walked through the neighborhood quietly, side by side. Past cracked sidewalks, small shops and familiar turns. Past pieces of both your life. There was no need to rush or talk much. Without knowing, your feet brought you to auntie Bomi’s snack stall.
She looked up from the counter, mid preparing the food and her face lit up the second her eyes landed on you two.
“Well, look who it is.” she called out, grinning like she already knew everything. “You two back from your little lovers’ trip?”
You laughed. Asa pulled her hand up to cover her laugh - that elegant gesture was one of the things you loved about her the most. You loved it back then. You still love it now.
“It hasn’t been that long since we last ate here, auntie.” you said, stepping to the counter with Asa still hanging onto your arm.
“Long enough for me to miss you two’s awkward flirting.” she shot back, already grabbing a cup for odeng broth. She then slid it toward Asa, who took it with two hands and bowed her head slightly.
“Hi, auntie.”
“When do you two start university?” she asked, already pouring broth into your cup.
“Thank you, auntie. Uh… next week.”
“Look at you.” she turned to Asa.
“All grown up. I still remember the day he dragged you here for the first time. You looked so shy.”
Asa smiled.
“I didn’t speak proper Korean back then.”
“C’mon, your Korean was already perfect back then.” Auntie Bomi praised Asa, waving her hand like it was obvious. “You looked so cute I didn’t even let Joonhyuk pay. I remember it like yesterday.”
“You said we would eventually end up together that day, auntie.” Asa added quietly, her voice warm, almost shy.
“And look where we are today.” Auntie Bomi grinned proudly.
You glanced at Asa, who still had her hand up to cover her laugh, eyes crinkled with amusement.
“Took you two long enough,” Bomi added, shaking her head like the neighborhood mom she’d always been. You both stayed a little longer, sitting side by side on the bench next to her stall. The food was warm and nice. Asa leaned against you as you both ate before saying goodbye to auntie Bomi and wandering off again - nowhere in particular, hand in hand, just walking.
Eventually, your feet took you to the park. The path curved gently into the trees, just like it always had. The swings creaked in the distance, swaying just lightly in the wind. Same chipped paint, same chains. You slowed near the curved stone wall at the entrance then looked toward the swings then at Asa by your side.
“...You remember when I cried here?” you said. “That day when I lied to go home early and went here to cry on the swings.”
Asa’s gaze followed yours. She nodded once, eyes fixed on that same swing.
“Yeah, I do.”
You took a deep breath. “I thought no one would notice me.”
“I felt really bad when I saw you like that…” her tone was careful. “Alone and crying.”
Neither of you said anything. Everyone cheered for you that day - coaches, teachers, friends, even people who stayed away from you when that incident broke out. But you felt overwhelmed, you were too lonely and tired. Like you were being squeezed from the inside out. And Asa hadn’t talked to you in quite a while. You knew why, you knew you deserved it. But still - not having her around made it much worse. You didn’t even mean to cry that day. You just sat down and it all came out.
“I was really lonely. Not having you by my side was…” you didn’t finish your sentence.
Asa held your hand tight and pulled you toward the swings. You followed. The chains creaked under your weight as you sat down beside her, on that same swing you cried on. But this time, Asa’s presence wasn’t distant or uncertain - she was here with you now. Your hands rested in your lap. Hers did too. The wind shifted slightly, carrying the quiet hum of the street behind the trees. You could hear distant voices, a few birds, the sound of Asa swaying back and forth ever so slightly next to you. You glanced over at her. Asa looked awkward and apologetic. Her fingers were fidgeting in her lap like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to say something or supposed to stay quiet. She let out a soft breath, barely audible over the wind.
“I was really scared that day…”
You could hear the truth in her voice. The way it cracked just a little. You two have talked about this a few times before but Asa felt the same way every time.
“I didn’t know if I should go to you. I kept thinking… maybe I was the last person you wanted to see.”
You smiled and stayed quiet. Part of you had thought about the same thing a few times. But you’d realized you loved Asa too much to ignore her.
“Minju and Yunah really helped me a lot. To get the courage and come up to you.” Asa went on, her voice quiet, thoughtful.
You nodded slowly, still watching her.
“I think Yunah said something like…” Asa paused and smiled faintly. “If you don’t go now, I will steal him from you.”
You laughed and dropped your head back against the swing.
“Yeah, Yunah was a menace.”
“She was kind of insane every now and then.”
“She still is.” you said, a little more quietly now. “I’m still thankful for her being there for me… uh, when you weren’t.”
Asa didn’t say anything right away. She just nodded and smiled softly.
“Were you… jealous?”
She looked at you like it was a dumb question.
“Yunah wouldn’t do that to me, dummy.”
“So… not really?”
Asa’s cheeks flushed as she looked away.
“... I mean. A little.” she mumbled. “I guess.”
You turned toward her more fully, the swing shifting under your weight. She added quickly.
“Not because I thought you liked her or anything. It just looked like something only I used to do. Not anyone else.”
You let the silence settle between you, soft and unhurried. Then you reached over, your fingers brushing against hers again before lacing together completely. You held her hand, gentle but firm.
“Yeah. That was only yours.” you said. Asa looked at you.
“If I’m being honest, I only let Yunah do that stuff because I think I wanted to feel close to you. Like… subconsciously. I felt lonely without you. I didn’t have you so… yeah. It was stupid. It doesn’t work.”
The wind blew her hair slightly out of place, but she didn’t fix it. She just stared like she just saw that version of you that she hadn’t seen in a long time.
“I didn’t like seeing it.” she said finally. “It just made me realize how far away I felt.”
“I know. I felt it too.”
She looked down at your hands, still intertwined. Her thumb brushed lightly against yours.
“I hated that we became strangers. It was like one day I woke up and didn’t know how to talk to you anymore.”
“I never stopped waiting for you, Asa-ah.”
For a second, you thought she might cry - but she didn’t. She just squeezed your hand tighter. You two stayed like that, not swinging, not speaking, just being. It was peaceful. Like you both finally understood each other again.
“To be honest. If I was a girl, I would fall for me too. Handsome, gold medalist, charming-” you said while sitting up straighter with a smug grin. Asa cut you off with a smack on your elbow.
“You forgot annoying, dummy.”
“Okay, fine. Handsome, gold medalist, charming, slightly annoying.”
Asa rolled her eyes but the way she smiled gave it away.
“I still don’t like how other girls chase after you. Even if you’re annoying.” she muttered, arms crossing.
“Jealous, miss Enami?” you raised an eyebrow.
“No. Just territorial.” she said too fast.
“Same thing.”
“Careful, don’t forget what happened this morning.”
“Noted.”
There was a beat of silence. Asa glanced at the sky, then back at you, her tone softening.
“Do you ever regret it, Joonhyuk? Leaving taekwondo behind?”
The question caught you a little off guard.
“You know what was in my mind when I was in the final? In China?” you asked suddenly.
Asa shook her head, curious.
“My family, this neighborhood…” you said quietly. “A Japanese girl named Asa living next door”
You paused.
“I’m being honest. I tasted victory and it felt really nice. Everyone cheered for me but…”
You turned to Asa.
“Maybe it’s not for me. The day I got home from China and you ran to my room after school and hugged me like that… That felt nicer.”
“It felt like I had something much bigger besides taekwondo. I wanted a normal life… with you in it.”
Asa tried hard to stop it but a tear slipped down her cheek before she could stop it. She quickly wiped it with the back of her hand like she didn’t want you to notice but you did. Her eyes were a bit glassy, her smile small and shy. Asa didn’t know what to do with the way her heart was swelling in her chest.
You just stood up. Then you quietly reached out to her and pulled her up with you. She didn’t resist and just stumbled in your arms. You hugged her. Right there, in front of the swings you’d once cried on alone. The same swing she saw you at, months ago. But this time, you were holding her. You pressed your cheek into her hair, eyes closed.
“I’m glad you came to me that day.” you whispered.
She nodded against your chest, arms wrapping tighter around your waist.
“I’m glad you forgave me too.”
Eventually, your hands found each other again. Fingers naturally laced as you began to walk around the neighborhood. Through small back streets, past the convenience store full of memories, past the side wall of your school where the two of you used to wait for each other after dance practice or training, past faded murals, past old memories…
Eungam-dong was home. Asa was home.
On the way home, Asa was weirdly chippier. She started humming - soft at first, but it got louder with every step. You recognized the song. ‘Really Like You’ by Babymonster. She loved them. She had been spamming you with short clips of her singing it the last few days, even sending you the same clip twice, claiming it was the ‘remix’ version.
Uh 눈을 뜨는 아침부터 달이 지는 새벽까지
네 생각에 행복해
Her voice floated through the air - no background track this time, just your girlfriend humming the songs under her breath while swinging your hands between hers.
“You’re still stuck on that song?” you teased but you were already smiling. Couldn’t help it.
“I like it, duh.” she shot back, lips curved in that way you knew too well.
“Plus, I sound good.”
“Hmm.” you tilted your head back, pretending to be thinking. “Yeah, not bad.”
Asa gasped dramatically. “Not bad? Excuse me? Do you know how lucky you are to get in this private concert for free?”
“I’m paying with love.” you smirked.
She bumped your shoulders with hers but kept singing anyway, the next line spilling out softly.
말하고 싶어 to say I love you
But, boy, I like you, really, really like you
This time, she looked straight at you while singing it - eyes teasing but soft, voice light, her feet doing a little shuffle step, dancing on the street. Then, she stepped closer, swaying her shoulders playfully before drawing a heart with two fingers on your chest.
“What do you mean ‘boy i like you’?” you smirked, trying to sound cocky but it came out way softer than you intended. Asa tilted her head, lips curving into that grin.
“Exactly what I mean. “ she whispered back, eyes not leaving yours. Her fingers poked at your chest again, right where your heart was.
And in this moonlight, we're reaching new highs
But boy, I like you, really, really like you, yeah, yeah
She sang that part almost in a whisper, barely loud enough for anyone but you to hear. Your throat tightened a little. Years of being her best friend, months of dating her but you still felt like this. Like your chest might actually burst out if she kept teasing you like that.
“You’re really got me wrapped around your finger, Asa.”
“Obviously. I knew I got you the first day we met.” she shot back, smirking.
You let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah? We were like what? Thirteen?”
“Yep.” Asa’s hand returned to hold yours, squeezing. “Didn’t need long to figure you out.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You looked so awkward at dinner that day. Accidentally touching my knees, knocking your spoon into my bowl. My dad thought you were afraid of me or something.”
“I mean, he wasn’t wrong.”
She laughed, leaning her head against your shoulder for a second before pulling away.
“Still can’t believe you like Babymonster that much.” you said, smiling.
Asa gasped again, eyes widening like she was offended. “Excuse me? They’re my girls.”
“It’s like they’re your personality, daarin.”
“They are my personality.” She swung your hands between hers again, grinning. “You’re just shy because you don’t want to admit you like them too.”
Yeah, maybe.
Later that evening, after raiding the fridge and bickering over ingredients, Asa decided to teach you how to make her signature omurice. “Like a grown up.” she said. The kitchen looked like an apocalypse halfway through and you earned at least three forehead flicks for your crimes against rice and eggs. She threatened to revoke your boyfriend privileges.
“Yah! Seo Joonhyuk!” Asa cried, smacking your arm with the back of your hand.
“Why are you stirring the rice like that? That’s now how you- you’re gonna ruin it, dummy.”
You tried to defend yourself. “I’m just-”
“No. Stop. Give me the spatula.”
You pouted but obeyed anyway. Asa clicked her tongue, clearly disappointed. But her voice? Still soft. Still high pitched when she got flustered. And honestly, too freaking cute.
“Are you smiling right now?”
“No…”
“You’re the worst student I’ve ever had.” she muttered, scooping the rice with such precision you felt personally attacked.
“One more disaster and I’m revoking your boyfriend privileges.”
You leaned close, whispering near her ear.
“But you love me, so you won’t.”
She then elbowed you lightly in the ribs.
“Don’t flirt while I’m saving your life.”
You just loved how Asa looked when she was trying not to laugh while acting all bossy. She might’ve been scolding you but her voice was also laced with warmth and love. You could definitely get used to this. You then both ended up finishing the omurice sitting on the floor, backs resting against the kitchen cabinets. Afterwards, you both cleaned up - she washed, you dried. You also got scolded twice for missing a spot and putting the pan away still kinda wet. Whatever. Asa let you live.
“I’m gonna run home for a second. Shower, brush, be right back, daarin.” you said.
Asa peeked her head out of the kitchen.
“Don’t take forever~ I’ll miss you.”
You didn’t. You showered like your life depended on it. Brushing, face wash, everything. You quickly locked your front gate behind you and sprinted back to the house next door like some kind of night time romantic mission. She left the gate unlocked. You stepped inside, locked the gates and kicked off your slippers and padded straight to the living room where she was already under a blanket, TV glowing softly across her face.
You didn’t even say anything and just slid right in next to Asa, arms immediately wrapping around her waist, pulling her in. She let out a small “mmph” as she shifted against your chest.
“Someone’s needy.” Asa mumbled.
“Someone made the best dinner ever.” you whispered into her hair. Asa snorted.
You both settled into the couch, her head tucked under your chin, fingers gently playing on her side. The drama played - ‘Love next door’. For the rest of the night, the room was warm and quiet except for the low sound of the drama. Your breathing had slowed, your body molded perfectly to hers under the blanket. Then Asa spoke, her voice soft, like she didn’t want to disrupt the peace.
“Hey.” she mumbled. “Wanna hang out with Yunah and Minju again? It’s been awhile since we saw them. Like 2, 3 weeks now.”
“If you don’t get jealous, I’ll go.” you smirked, eyes half lidded.
“Careful what you say, Seo Joonhyuk.” Asa smacked your chest but her hand stayed there after - the lightest pressure, fingers curling into your t-shirt.
After a few minutes passed.
“What about our families? They’ll be back tomorrow morning…” Asa spoke again, voice tired.
You blinked. “Uh…”
“Maybe it’ll be fine. I’ll wake you up early. They won’t find out.” she added.
You smiled into her hair.
“Okay.”
She then yawned and shifted again, her legs draped over yours. You pulled the blanket a little higher over her shoulders, kissed the top of her then slowly let sleep take over. The world could wait. Just for tonight, it was you and Asa - warm, safe, full.
You didn’t wake up to the sun. Or the sound of your phone alarm. Or Asa gently whispering your name like you hoped. You woke up because there was a sudden, suffocating presence in the room. You blinked, slow and groggy.
What…?
You turned your head and found yourself cuddling with Asa. Her cheek was smushed against your chest, blankets tangled halfway off your legs, her arm loosely draped around your waist. Both of you fell asleep while watching the drama last night. You then slowly looked up.
Your parents.
Her parents.
Her sisters.
Asa was still dozing, she shifted and mumbled.
“Mm… Joonhyuk.”
“Yah.” you whispered.
Asa pouted, still in her sleep and nuzzled closer to your chest.
“Let me sleep~”
She had no idea what was happening. Still in that dreamy morning haze, eyes closed, pouty, soft. Her voice was muffled against your shirt. You, meanwhile, were fully awake. You looked up again. Your mom had her hand over her mouth, trying hard not to laugh. Your dad was just shaking his head, he’d seen this coming from a mile away. Asa’s parents were whispering something to each other.
Lisa and Chisa? They were thriving. Lisa leaned in first.
“Wake up, you two. It’s rude not greeting your guests.”
You gently poked Asa’s side.
“Asa-ah… wake up.”
“Why?” she groaned.
“They’re back.”
She slowly opened one eye and looked at you. Then followed your gaze and saw her entire family with years staring down at her. Asa’s soul left her immediately. She jerked upright so fast the blanket fell off completely. Her hair was messy. She was definitely not ready for guests. Her mom, Ms. Keiko, stepped forward first, gently taking the lead like she was used to this by now.
“We brought breakfast.” she said, smiling sweetly. “Figured you two lovebirds would be tired after your little… house date.”
You, still lying on the couch, felt Asa tensing by your side. Your mom then said.
“We knew you two’ve been in love with each other since you were thirteen.”
Chisa chimed in, grinning way too wide.
“You two idiots weren’t exactly subtle, you know?”
Asa let out the cutest squeak and immediately buried her face in your shoulders again, hands covering her burning cheeks like she was trying to disappear.
Busted? Yes. Completely.
It was coming anyway.
But honestly? Felt kinda nice.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
yayy! i will definitely write more for asa lol. i love her so much arrrghhhh
#kpop male reader#asa x male reader#asa x reader#babymonster asa#kpop idol x reader#kpop fluff#fluff#male reader#m!reader#female idol x reader#Spotify
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That's Right: It's Another Hot Take About That Dead Healthcare CEO
The websites are abuzz with debate on the utilitarian calculus of whether some guy getting shot was a good thing. What are the odds that the assassination will scare the horrible greedy health insurance companies into changing their ways and fixing the system? Is it worth killing someone over? Will the fear of being blasted by some guy with stylishly-engraved bullets put the fat cats in line? Or will their greed win out over their fear, leaving the nightmarish system unchanged?
Well, what if that was totally irrelevant?
You may have seen a graph that looks like this:

I've seen a few of these going around. These are the rates at which various health insurance companies say "no, you don't get the money" when someone says "hey I need money for this medical thing". UHC, the one whose CEO got shot, is notably really bad in this respect. They've got algorithmic claims denials and all kinds of nasty things that people don't like. All that money they're saving on paying out on claims must be making them rich, right? Let's look at their own financial reports:
Whoa! Big numbers! Six percent looks like a small number, but multiply and they make like thirty billion dollars doing this! That's a lot, right?
Well hang on. They're an insurance company. We can roughly model their profit as the amount people pay them for insurance, minus the amount they have to pay out for claims. Let's look at 2023: simple subtraction, their expenses are $339.2 billion. We simplify other overhead and assume that's all claims. So... that represents those 67% of claims they don't reject. What happens if they approve all the claims?
Multiply: $506.3 billion. They don't have that kind of money. They have $371.6 billion in revenue. So okay- they have to deny some claims. That's pretty normal. But let's pretend they're extremely afraid of assassins now and want to be completely non-greedy: they're okay making zero profit. They make $32.4 billion in profit- how many otherwise-rejected claims can they now afford to approve?
...uh. Well, they can afford to pay out, at most, 73.4% of claims. Still a denial rate of 26.6%, higher than most of their competitors. Not a huge improvement. And in reality, they can't afford to make 0 profit- a company that's making 0 profit is a company investors pull out of immediately, leaving it to collapse, because they can make more money investing in the ones that aren't as afraid of assassins. They've got to at least hover around the same profit margin as their competitors. Which is...
That's average profit margins for the whole US healthcare industry. So, okay, if we match those other companies' profit margins and try to hover around 3-4%... uh. Wait. Hang on. Here's another graph with more recent data on UHC specifically:
Wait, they're still just making that little 3-4% profit margin, even with all these shady automated denials- so how are those other companies doing better on claims? They're obviously not less greedy. They must be making more money somehow, right?
(My guess, sight-unseen, would be that they charge more for their plans, or offer less comprehensive coverage, or use a network of less expensive providers, or other things that make the amount they have to pay out smaller and the amount they're taking in larger. I don't feel like doing a comprehensive consumer review of what every insurance provider's healthcare plans are, but there's always these tradeoffs to make. UHC seems to be offering the tradeoff of "better or cheaper care, on paper" for "but there's a higher risk of getting denied", which is one annoying tradeoff among many.)
Okay But That's Enough Graphs
"Yeah yeah yeah shut up about profit margins and coverage tradeoffs. Is it a good thing that the CEO got shot or not?"
Well, their profit margin at the time he was shot was 3.63%. A company can't survive making 0 or less, so whatever effect fear of assassination has on UHC's greediness, it is going to be no larger than 3.63%.
They may learn the lesson that having their denial rates too high will get them assassinated. Accordingly, they may decrease that metric- by charging higher premiums, kicking expensive doctors out of their network, or reducing their stated coverage. They will not (because they cannot, without ceasing to exist as a company) simply start approving more claims without squeezing their customers elsewhere. They legally cannot do that. No matter how afraid you make the CEOs, you cannot make them afraid to a degree larger than their profit margin.
Well What The Fuck, Then
Like, what, are we supposed to accept that things will literally never get better and that this horrorshow is the best we can hope for? That's some bullshit! If we can't scare the CEOs, who can we scare?
Man I dunno.
Like, for some reason healthcare is stupid expensive! People can't afford to pay for healthcare without insurance- it's like thousands of dollars for basic procedures! Why? Maybe...
Doctors inflate their prices 10x because they know insurance companies will use complicated legal tricks to only pay 10% of the asking price, and this is a constantly escalating price war that serves mainly to fuck over the uninsured
Drug manufacturers and health technology companies fight tooth and nail to maintain monopolies over treatment, so they can charge gazillions to make back the gazillions they had to spend on FDA approval trials
(Trials those same companies lobby to keep necessary because the more money you have to pay for FDA approval, the harder it is for competitors to enter the market since they don't already have the gazillions)
Doctors operate as a cartel and lobby to gatekeep access to medical training so that they can keep doctoring a prestigious and exclusive position, and keep their own salaries high enough to pay their medical school debt and make them rich afterwards- leading to a (profitable) shortage of medical professionals
There is no limit to how expensive things can get but how much people are physically capable of paying, because frequently the alternative to "pay a ridiculous amount for healthcare" is "die", and so healthcare is subject to near-infinitely inelastic demand
Also like a thousand other equally annoying and complicated perverse incentives and stupid situations
This is the human condition: Shit is annoying and complicated and difficult to fix, pretty much 100% of the time forever. A few bullets in some fucko's back isn't really going to make a dent.
(But like, sure, fuck that guy. He probably sucked, as do the hundred other identical suits in line to replace him. Just... don't expect this to help.)
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Devlog #2 📚 Research Trip
Already a month since the announcement?! Time passes by so fast. I hope everyone is staying cool in this dreadful weather.
In case you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I am the creator of timeloop RPG In Stars and Time, and now am working on my next game, memory visual novel Truth Scrapper. It’s gonna be a good one.
This month, I took a trip to Paris, and reworked the memory gameplay a bit!
📚
So, as you perhaps can tell, TS’s backgrounds are collages of photographs. I’ve been using royalty free images from websites like Pexels, and it’s been going relatively well. Unless I was looking for pictures of Paris that weren’t taken by tourists, or looking for pics of stairs taken from the top of the stairs for some reason.
In light of that, I decided to go on a trip to Paris for a couple weeks to take reference pictures <3
Ok it might look like I only took pictures of food BUT IT’S RESEARCH OK IT’S RESEARCH OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Not an actual screenshot– this is how my illustration template is structured!)
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
The rest of the month was taken by rewrites and replays. Unlike with ISAT (my previous game) where I worked chronologically with minimal backtracking during development, I feel like for TS I keep going back to previous days to add things, change a scene, remove a bit of foreshadowing that was too obvious… It’s not a bad way of working, but it’s so different from what I’m used to that it stresses me out anyway!!!
(Old screenshot. The hardboiled eggs aren’t here anymore)
I also reworked the memory gameplay. The only way to impact the story in TS is not through choices, but with which memories Sosotte decides to remember day-to-day. I originally had some memories be dud memories, or memories that are just here as flavor, but playtesters seemed to keep them anyway… So now, I’m making sure all memories will give you a little something something!
This is how the memories for the prologue look now. Note the icons!
So, if you pick that “funny cloud” memory, you will gain the “sight” perk, which allows Sosotte to, uh, remember to use her eyes. Yippee!
In July, I will finally finish that goshdang script for Day 4, and get it implemented.
kthnxbye
DON'T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THATS THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!
Links! 📚 Official Website 📚 Join the Discord 📚 Sign up for my mailing list 📚 Follow Truth Scrapper on Bluesky 📚 Follow ME on Bluesky
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One of my favorite things about Echo is his heart
It’s his commitment to helping people. It’s the way he cares so deeply and always has. The loyalty he shows towards the other clones, his willingness to do anything to save them, is only one of many reasons why Echo is my favorite character of all time.
Echo may very well have survivors guilt from what happened to him and the things he did while being used as ‘The Algorithm’ but I don’t think that’s the main force that drives him to be so committed to saving other clones from the Empire.
He’s always had this big heart. This enormous need to help others. We see it during the attack on Kamino, how he’s willing to lay his life down and do what it takes. We see him holding 99 when he dies, clearly distraught over the loss of this man he cares for. He doesn’t shy away from the emotional bits, the parts that aren’t about how brave you are, he’s willing to feel it. And let others see him feel it, too.
We see this when he is lost at the citadel. We see him attempt to save everyone else by putting his own life on the line and paying a hefty price for it.
We see him feel compelled to lend his expertise and insider knowledge after he’s rescued. He’s ready to fight, he will do anything to help. He’s even injured on that mission because of the riskier move he pulled just to give the Republic a bigger advantage.
And when the clones needed him? When Rex needed him? He went where he was needed. He infiltrated Tantiss like it was nothing. He went into that facility determined: “Not just her. All of the clones.” Because that’s his thing!! It’s not just about one person or one thing! This is about all of them and for Echo it always has been. He’s lost so much. He’s mourned so many people. He isn’t losing anyone else. He went to that facility ready to break every single clone free and not rest until he did.
See, Echo has always been this way. This isn’t something that grew only after his rescue from Skako. From the very beginning his heart has been in it and that has never changed. It’s his dedication and his steadfastness. It’s the way he leads with his heart. It’s the kindness that drives him to do all that he can.
As long as Echo is around no clone is ever alone. No clone will ever have to cover their own six. Not a single clone in the whole galaxy ever has to worry if someone out there even cares about them. Because Echo does. Echo cares. Echo has always cared and he has never and will never stop. As long as Echo is around every single clone has someone in their corner.
And Echo is a damn good ally.
#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#the bad batch#the clone wars#star wars#space chatter#Echo is my whole world and he consistently gives me hope
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hellooo!
no pressure at all, but i was just wondering if there’s going to be a continuation for “the interview with drew goes viral” (after the part 2)
i really love your writing :)
hope you’re doing okay, have a nice weekend!
drew starkey x reader
summary: it’s been weeks since the interview blew over, and your mornings have finally settled back into something quiet. but one ordinary coffee run at your usual hour turns into something you didn’t see coming.
warnings : none just standard fluff, banner by @anitalenia
word count : about 2k, give or take a few words
author's note : i loveee getting request y'all pretty please send more. hope you all enjoy, lol was not expecting this to be a series but i don't mind
(do not copy or plagarize, original work)
it’s been weeks since the interview. weeks since your phone stopped vibrating with notifications, since your face stopped showing up uninvited in other people’s stories. the buzz has settled, the comments slowed, and your life, somehow, stitched itself back into a quieter rhythm.
the world moved on. it always does. even viral moments, no matter how loud, eventually quiet down. you started sleeping with your phone on do not disturb again, started opening apps without fear of your own face popping up. even the coffee shop barista had stopped asking, “was that really you with drew starkey?” every time you came in for your usual.
and you hadn’t thought about him in at least… a day.
okay, maybe a few hours.
fine. maybe that morning. but in your defense, his voice was everywhere—an ad here, a podcast there, some new trailer playing on loop in the background while you folded your laundry. the internet might’ve let go, but your algorithm definitely hadn’t. and besides, it’s not like you were holding onto anything. it was just a moment. a clip. a like.
nothing more.
you’d replayed it a few times in your head, sure. but only because it was weird, right? not because you were obsessing. not because you could still hear the way he’d said, “you’re good at this,” like it wasn’t just a compliment but a fact. like he knew you needed to hear it. like he meant it.
you told yourself it was all part of the job. the electricity, the nerves, the almost-flirtation that slipped between the cracks of professionalism. actors were trained to charm, and you were trained to stay grounded. or at least, you were trying to be.
still, there were moments—quiet ones, like when you brushed your teeth or rode the bus home from work—where his voice would creep back in. soft. sure. unshakable.
you knew better than to read into it. you did.
and yet.
the bell above the café door jingles as you step inside, the smell of roasted beans and sugar instantly warming your senses. you shuffle into line, tugging your hoodie up slightly and rubbing your hands together. it’s cold, and your brain is foggy from staying up too late scrolling through job emails and watching old episodes of reality tv you swore you’d quit. you’re here out of habit more than anything—this place is your go-to around 9am, that perfect pocket of time when there’s just enough people to feel like a soft buzz of life, but not so many that it’s overwhelming. not so few that it’s awkward if you drop your phone or your charger clatters to the floor. it’s the kind of space where you can blend in, plug in, get things done, maybe eavesdrop a little if you’re bored. you’re already rehearsing your order in your head and wondering if you should finally cave and try the seasonal flavor everyone’s been raving about.
your phone buzzes once in your pocket. some newsletter you forgot to unsubscribe from. you ignore it.
the person in front of you is taking their sweet time deciding between hot and iced, and you sway gently on your heels, eyes scanning the chalkboard menu as if it’s changed since yesterday.
you’re not thinking about him. not really.
okay, maybe a little. maybe there’s a flicker of him in the back of your mind, tucked between thoughts of oat milk and how long it’ll take your laptop to update. but not enough to matter. not enough to make your heart jump.
not until you catch a glimpse of him.
at first, it doesn’t register. there’s a table by the window, and someone’s sitting there—hood pulled low, head tilted down, a book open in one hand and a to-go cup in the other. you glance past him and then back again. your brain hiccups.
holy shit.
no. it couldn’t be.
except it is.
your feet stop moving. your breath forgets how to do its job.
drew starkey. in your coffee shop. the coffee shop you frequent every day like clockwork at 9 am. He's never been here at 9 am. like the universe just spun the wheel of chaos and landed on the most improbable option.
he doesn’t see you. not yet. and you don’t move. don’t breathe. don’t blink.
you consider leaving for a fraction of a millisecond. backing out the door, disappearing into the street like a ghost. but your feet are cement, your curiosity louder than your fear. you’re here now. and so is he.
and if this is just a coincidence—some glitch in the matrix—you’re not going to be the one who turns away first.
your heart drums against your ribs as you take one careful step forward, then another, trying to act normal—even though your version of normal currently includes borderline hyperventilating in line for caffeine.
you glance back toward the window. he’s still there. still tucked into the corner like a secret. hood still low, but his profile is unmistakable now that you’ve seen it—strong jaw, slight scruff, eyes flicking over the page like he’s reading but not really reading. his fingers tap against the side of his cup, and you can tell from the way he shifts in his seat that he’s not used to being still for long.
you wonder what he’s doing here.
this place is your 9 a.m. ritual spot—just enough of a crowd to not feel awkward, but not so many people that it turns into a social circus. it’s the kind of place where dropping your phone or spilling your coffee isn’t met with a spotlight. just a few regulars, some tired students, a playlist that never changes. it’s your hideaway in the chaos.
but him?
he doesn’t belong in a 9 a.m. scene. not because he’s out of place, but because you know he’s never here then. you would’ve noticed. you would’ve noticed.
you’ve heard from the staff—overheard, really—that he pops in sometimes. usually around 11, sometimes at 6. always late, always off-peak, when the shop is practically empty and nobody’s around to squeal or ask for photos. he slips in, grabs his drink, and slips out like a shadow. no fanfare. no trace.
but he’s here now.
and just as you’re wondering why, he lifts his head.
and sees you.
his eyes lock on yours almost instantly, like some part of him had already known you were there. the recognition flickers in his expression—first surprise, then something softer. and then he smiles. slow. cheeky. warm.
you swear your knees actually weaken a little.
he raises a hand, not waving exactly—more like a casual, almost shy acknowledgement, like you’re an old friend he’s bumping into on accident. except you’re not friends. not really. just an interviewer who went viral. a stranger with a mic.
you consider pretending not to see him. just ordering your drink and slipping into a corner, like you do every morning.
but then he stands.
and your brain short-circuits.
he pulls his hood a little lower, adjusting the bill of his cap as he walks over, glancing around like he’s making sure no one else has clocked him. when he finally stops in front of you, it’s like the whole room gets quieter.
“hey,” he says, voice low and almost bashful. there’s a smirk playing on his lips, but his hands are in his hoodie pockets like he’s trying not to fidget. “you always come this early?”
you blink. for a second, you’re sure you heard him wrong. your mind scrambles, trying to reconcile the fact that drew starkey—drew starkey—remembers you. remembers this. it had been one interview. one night. the clip hadn’t even gone viral. you weren’t even sure he’d looked at you long enough to lock in your name, let alone your routine.
the surprise must flicker across your face, because his smirk curves up a little more—sharper now, like he caught you off guard on purpose. your breath catches. he remembers me.
you try to play it off, smoothing your expression as your voice finally catches up. “uh—yeah. yeah, every morning. kind of my ritual.”
he nods, shifting on his feet. “i figured. i’ve been coming later. eleven-ish. or evenings. easier to go unnoticed.”
you raise a brow, teasing. “guess you didn’t expect to get caught slippin’ today, huh?”
his grin grows, sheepish but not embarrassed. “nah. i was feelin’ risky.” he leans in a little, voice dropping like he’s telling a secret. “figured i’d finally see what the hype was about with the early crowd.”
you laugh, more at the way he says it than the actual words. it bubbles up, unfiltered, and his eyes linger—like he’s trying to memorize the sound in real time. there’s something kind in the way he looks at you. focused. like the rest of the world blurs a little when you’re the one in front of him.
“well,” you say, arms folding loosely in front of your chest, “i’m flattered that my caffeine schedule is what convinced you.”
he shrugs, leaning back just slightly, but the smile stays. “it wasn’t just that.”
your heart stutters. something warm spreads across your chest like sunlight through fogged-up glass. the moment stretches, held by something invisible and quiet between you.
he tilts his head, then gestures with a chin nod toward the counter. “you got a second? i was just about to order another. figured we could… catch up?”
you nod before your brain even has time to catch up. “yeah. yeah, sure.”
“cool,” he says, already turning toward the register before looking back. “what’s your order? i’ll grab it.”
“you don’t have to—”
“i want to.” and there’s no hesitation. no performance in it. just the kind of soft insistence that makes your stomach dip.
you tell him your order—your usual—and he repeats it under his breath with a little grin, like he’s pocketing it somewhere in the back of his mind for later. when he steps up to order, you catch yourself smiling. like, really smiling. and the worst part is, you can’t even pretend to be annoyed about it.
he returns a few minutes later, balancing two cups and the smallest possible smirk.
“hope i got it right,” he says, handing you your drink. “this place has a million milk options. i panicked.”
you take a sip, trying not to look too delighted. “nailed it.”
he looks stupidly proud of himself. “guess i gotta come earlier more often.”
you raise a brow. “what, just in case i’m here?”
he holds your gaze, lips quirking. “i mean, clearly the early crowd has its perks.”
you roll your eyes, but it’s hopeless. you’re already cheesing. just a little.
the two of you settle into a table in the corner—your usual one, and he doesn’t even ask before gravitating toward it. the conversation is easy, smoother than you remembered, even with the chaos of the last few weeks between you. he tells you about a new role, you mention something vague about work, and then suddenly you’re laughing again—at something dumb he said, or maybe just the way he said it.
you glance over your cup, trying to hide your grin. “you really don’t mind being seen like this? just… out in public? with me?”
he shrugs, glancing around. no cameras. no whispers. just the quiet murmur of people too busy living to notice anything out of place.
“it’s not so bad,” he says. “kind of nice, actually.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he says, eyes on yours. “besides, if i get caught, i’ll just say i was here for the coffee. or…” he pauses, leaning back a little, like he’s testing the waters. “maybe i’ll say i was here for the girl who always comes at nine.”
and that’s it.
that’s the line that gets you.
because it’s dumb. and bold. and a little bit cheesy. but it’s him. and it’s real. and it’s the exact kind of moment you’ll end up thinking about later—when you’re brushing your teeth, or walking home, or lying awake at 2 a.m. wondering when the shift happened. when something that started as a clip turned into a conversation, and now maybe something a little more.
you look at him over the lid of your cup, warmth blooming in your cheeks.
ahh got it! let’s flip the tone to match that dynamic—she’s the regular, he’s the one switching it up for her. here’s a revised version that keeps it cute and slightly cheesy, but true to their roles:
“guess you might have to start showing up at nine more often.”
his smile tugs up slow, like he’s trying not to make it obvious how much he likes the idea.
“yeah… i’m starting to think nine might be my new favorite hour.”
he glances at you over his cup, eyes warm.
“funny how that works.”
#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x you#rafe cameron x you#rafe x you#drew x you#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#drew starkey fanfiction#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#drew starkey fic#drew starkey imagine#rafe cameron obx#drew starkey x y/n#rafe cameron x y/n#fluff#𓆩 angel answers! 𓆪#𓆩 er1nee writes! 𓆪#𓆩 works! 𓆪
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your dream life is jealous of how much time you spend doomscrolling.





hey sweethearts!! mindy hereeeee, so i've realized something… like how we're all literally addicted to our phones?? and how our dream lives are sitting somewhere in the corner of our minds, pouting and wondering why we never hang out anymore??
i had this moment last week where i realized i'd spent THREE HOURS scrolling through videos of people organizing their fridges (which like… is satisfying but also?? what am i doing with my life). and then i had this thought that actually shook me: what if my future self could see how i'm spending my time right now? would she be proud or would she be like "girl… what are you DOING?"
the truth is that our phones are literally engineered to be more interesting than our real lives. they're designed by actual geniuses who understand our brain chemistry better than we do. it's not a fair fight!! and yet we blame ourselves for not having "enough willpower" which is honestly just mean??
✧ why we're all trapped in the doom-scroll cycle:
our phones deliver perfectly timed dopamine hits (the happy brain chemical!!) that make us feel momentarily good but leave us wanting more
the algorithm knows exactly what will keep us scrolling (it's literally studying us)
our brains are wired to seek novelty and our phones offer infinite novelty
real life has friction and requires effort; scrolling requires zero effort
we use our phones to escape uncomfortable emotions that actually need processing
the comparison trap makes us feel like we're "researching" our dream life rather than building it
i realized something that changed everything for me: the time i spend consuming other people's lives is time i'm not creating my own. and like… that's the whole game??
✧ how to break free (in ways that actually work):
identify your "scroll triggers" - for me it's when i feel anxious about my work, when i first wake up, and weirdly when i'm hungry?? once you know your triggers you can create little alternate pathways
create "phone-free zones" in your home - i have a little basket by my front door where my phone goes when i come home, and my bedroom is completely phone-free (i bought an actual alarm clock like it's 2005 and honestly?? life-changing)
practice the "dopamine pause" - when you feel the urge to reach for your phone, pause for 60 seconds. just sit with the discomfort. often the urge will pass, and if it doesn't, at least you're making a conscious choice
redesign your home screen to be boring af - delete all social apps from your home screen, make everything grayscale, turn off all notifications except calls/texts from actual humans who matter
schedule specific "input" and "output" times - block 30 minutes for consumption and 90 minutes for creation. your ratio should always favor creation over consumption
try "analog hour" before bed - read physical books, write with pen and paper, stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander (this is where all my best ideas come from tbh)
use the "future self" visualization - whenever you're about to fall into a scroll hole, close your eyes and visualize your future self. what would she want you to do with this precious hour of your life?
create ✧ focus-core ✧ routines - these are deeply satisfying rituals that give your brain the same dopamine hit as scrolling but actually build toward your dreams (for me it's making fancy coffee while listening to a specific playlist, then writing for 45 minutes)
practice "productive procrastination" - if you absolutely must avoid your main task, have a secondary important task ready (like if i don't want to write, i'll organize my study materials instead)
implement the "touch it once" rule - when you pick up your phone, have a specific purpose and do ONLY that thing, then put it down
the hardest truth i've had to accept is that there's no magic hack that makes this easy. creating a life that's more interesting than your phone requires actually building that life brick by brick, day by day. and the beginning is SO HARD because your brain is literally withdrawing from its favorite drug.
but i promise you something magical happens after about two weeks - you start to feel… different?? more present? more alive? and you realize that all along, the life you were searching for in your phone was waiting for you to look up.
your dream life is waiting for you to stop watching other people live theirs and start building your own. it's jealous of your phone, yes, but it's also patient. it knows that eventually, you'll come home to yourself.
xoxo, mindy 🤍
p.s. if you catch yourself scrolling after reading this, please don't feel bad!! just gently put your phone down, take a deep breath, and remember that you're breaking a literal addiction. be kind to yourself through the process, okay? tiny steps in the right direction are still steps. 💗

#dopaminedetox#digitalminimalism#focuscore#mindfulness#phoneaddiction#doomscrolling#productivity#selfimprovement#glowettee#coquette#socialmediabreak#intentionalliving#mindsetshift#dreamlife#screentime#digitalwellness#phonedetox#mentalhealth#healthyboundaries#focusroutine#tumblradvice#slowliving#presentmoment#phonehabit#consciousliving#girlytips#studygram#cozyadvice#girlblogger#girl interrupted
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ATArena
Alexander's phone dinged with a notification, just as he left the exam. It was a beautiful summer afternoon, and he was still talking with a few other students, so, naturally, he ignored the unexpected noise. Even though Alexander was certainly a digital native, he found it rude to check his phone while in company of others. He didn't particularly enjoy his current company: He found Christopher the guy that was currently bragging about how easy the exam was slightly annoying, but that wasn't a reason not to show good manners.
Only after their ways split, Alexander unlocked his phone and saw the notification: "Your watched App, ATArena, is now available."
ATArena? Alexander didn't remember he had watched an app with that name. Still, the notification seemed genuine and lead him to the app marketplace where he could initiate the download. The description was sparse: "An epic battle with a revolutionary matchmaking algorithm that will extend into real life!"
That sounded like an AR game of some sort. Alexander had enjoyed the big Pokeman Run hype some years ago and certainly didn't mind giving this app a try.
When he opened the app for the first time, it asked him for the usual: His real name as well as his nickname. Alexander put in the same for the latter that he used everywhere: Lex_88. A short busy spinner appeared and finally, a message box greeted him:
"Welcome to ATArena, Lex_88! A suitable opponent has already been found. Connecting now..."
After he tapped "Ok", a chat interface opened:
TopShot joined the game.
TopShot: Hi.
Alexander didn't know how to react exactly. He was socially awkward, but ignoring the unknown other player would be rude. So, he just typed:
Lex_88: Hi.
Before any of them could type anything else, a popup opened:
"Battle available! Tap to play."
Alexander tapped the button and wondered what would happen now. Was this some kind of word puzzle or quiz against each other?
What opened though, was a simple depiction of three six-sided dice. When Alexander tapped them, a roll animation appeared until they settled at 14 eyes in total. Not bad!
"Lex_88 rolled: 14. TopShot rolled: 10. Lex_88 wins!"
The screen changed to a wheel of fortune now, which was already in motion. When it came to a stop, it showed a muscled arm emoji and the sparkling word "Bicep size" appeared on his screen.
Immediately, Alexander felt a weird tingling in his upper arms, accompanied by a tightness in the sleeves of his sweater. He locked his phone and scratched his arms but stopped immediately when his fingers met unexpected resistance. His upper arms seemed to have... swollen? What was happening?
Still on the university campus, Alexander made a dash for the nearest restroom and pulled off his sweater. He could hardly believe his eyes: His biceps had grown *considerably*, straining the seams of the t-shirt he wore underneath. When he moved his arms, the muscles bulged and contracted. It was a surreal feeling for sure. Was that the doing of this game?
Alexander unlocked his phone again saw a new message:
"Challenge! Record a video flexing your guns and upload it to social media!"
When he dismissed the message, he typed a message to his opponent.
Flex_88💪: Holy shit! My arms just grew!
Alexander stopped for a moment. Flex_88💪? That wasn't his nickname. Yet, when he scrolled up, it clearly appeared that way - that was the name saying "Hi." in the message before. It wasn't that far off from his usual nickname, which was... Flex_88💪. What was he even thinking about? That was just his screen name that he used almost everywhere, because of his biceps, obviously. His last message didn't make much sense, though. He added a:
Flex_88💪: I mean, they're pretty big, as always. Never mind!
It didn't feel good to brag, but there didn't seem to be a way to delete the message. But he might as well do the challenge now. It wasn't that unusual for him to post pictures and videos of his arms on social media, so, he recorded a short clip, made sure to crop out his surroundings and his face and sent the video to his LaterGram profile.
Just as he was done, TopShot had answered:
TopShot: Uhm, good for you, dude.
TopShot: Seems like you've won the last game.
Flex_88💪: Yeah, but it was pure luck. I'm sure you're gonna win the next one.
As if on cue, another "Battle available" popup opened. This time, Alexander's roll was pretty bad. The dice showed 2-5-2, bringing him to a meager 9, a bit below the expected value.
"Flex_88💪 rolled: 9. TopShot rolled: 9. Tie! Both win!"
Apparently, TopShot wasn't having a very lucky day, either. The wheel turned and showed a drop emoji. Alexander was still thinking about what could be the meaning of the drop, when the word appeared: "Libido".
Libido? So, this was an 18+ game? Still, Alexander felt hot all of a sudden. His cock was stiffing up and he realized that it had been ages since his last jerk-off. Hornyness clouded his mind, when the next popup opened:
"Challenge! Use a pick-up line on someone you fancy."
Alexander was usually way too shy to approach another guy, but in his current situation even thinking about sending someone a pick-up line seemed like a good idea. He could just send that TopShot guy one, he had the advantage that Alexander didn't know him and probably never would meet.
He thought about his options and decided that a classic would be the best choice.
Flex_88💪: You know, my arms aren't the only thing big right now ;-)
It only took a moment for the other player to respond.
SwitchHit: I know what you mean.
SwitchHit sent an image.
Alexander hesitated only a bit before he opened the image. Yep. It was a picture of a tented boxershorts, snapped from a hastily opened pair of pants. Alexander could feel his cock throb. If he wasn't in public... No, he had to restrain himself. Even though he was still horny, which really wasn't unusual for him, he took a breather and tried to fight his boner down. He had just masturbated before he left for class, it was just amazing how needy his cock could be. His phone dinged as he readjusted himself and left the bathroom.
SwitchHit: Looking forward to the next game. I mean it's just dice rolling and stupid challenges, but it's fun.
Even though Alexander agreed, something seemed off. Had SwitchHit changed his screen name? No, didn't seem that way.
"Battle available!"
Alexander immediately rolled his dice and hardly could believe his eyes: three sixes, a solid 18.
"Flex_88💪 rolled: 18. SwitchHit rolled: 15. Flex_88💪wins! Critical!"
15 was a pretty good roll, but nothing could beat Alexander's 18. He grinned as the wheel stopped on "Confidence".
"Challenge! Approach a local gym and negotiate a free trial using nothing but your charm and confidence. "
Xander grinned. Yeah, that was an awesome idea. He was originally on his way home, but finally joining a gym was long overdue. Luckily, there was one right on his way. Half an hour later, he had a full two month free trial and also a protein shaker as a gift. It had been easier than Xander had thought.
Suddenly, he remembered the game.
Flex_88💪: Hey SwitchHit, you still there?
SwitchHit: Yeah, sorry, I didn't want to message so much. Sorry!
Xander rolled his eyes. That guy needed to grow some balls. He was just about to reply, when the next battle was available. Xander really had to admit, what SwitchHit said was true: It was kind of fun!
This time, Xander rolled bad: The three dice showed a measly 8 points. Unsurprisingly, SwitchHit won.
"Flex_88💪 rolled: 8. SwitchHit rolled: 14. SwitchHit wins!"
Damn, this was the first time Xander lost. The wheel landed on a brain-emoji, and, unsurprisingly, it was labelled with "Smarts".
Xander scratched his head. What did that mean? Would he have some penalty challenge now? He would see soon enough.
"Challenge! Skip reading your usual news or books for the day. Instead, binge-watch a reality TV series."
Xander scratched his head again. Did he really want to do that?
Well, of course he wanted to! That sounded like a fun evening. Why would he read books?! He didn't even own books!
Flex_88💪: Man, those challenges are really ez. I need to watch some TV this evening, not read sum bokshit.
Xander typed the message as he arrived at his apartment. He fixed himself a quick dinner and sat down on the couch, turning on the TV.
SwitchHit: I agree. I have to read some Ovid tonight, which I find rather light literature.
Flex_88💪: Whatev you say, man. Hey, by the way, what's your name?
Flex_88💪: Mine's Xander.
SwitchHit: I don't know, I probably shouldn't share my real name on the internet.
Flex_88💪: Aw, come on. As if I could find out where you live with only your real name.
SwitchHit: ...Right. I'm called Chris.
Flex_88💪: Like Christian? Christopher?
SwitchHit: No, just Chris.
Flex_88💪: K. Hey, that pic was pretty hot back then.
They chatted a bit during the evening and exchanged some more pictures of tented pants. Xander was only half paying attention to the reality show on his screen, as one of his hands was more or less constantly in his pants. Still, it was just friendly teasing, no downright cyber-sex.
Eventually, Xander had finished the season and went to bed. SwitchHit - Chris - had called it a night an hour ago, but he still had to finish the last episodes. Good thing he didn't draw the book shit. That would've taken a week, not an evening.
When Xander woke up the next morning, the next battle was already waiting for him. He rolled the dice as he crawled out of bed, again rolling abyssal. Only six eyes were visible on his dice.
"Flex_88💪 rolled: 6. SwitchHit rolled: 10. SwitchHit wins!"
This time, the wheel landed on "Personality". Weird. That was a pretty vague category.
"Challenge! Show someone their place."
Xander raised his eyebrows. What a weird challenge. Anyway, time to for groceries!"
Xander drove over to the store in his old and cheap car. However, when he arrived, another visitor to the gym took the parking spot directly in front of the entrance. What an asshole!
Xander parked and got out of his car, quickly approaching the unsuspecting guy that just stole *his* spot.
"Hey, asshole! What do you think you're doing?!"
The man, a young guy with glasses and a bit on the nerdy side, looked up, surprised.
"What's your problem?"
"I'm the problem. Your problem. You just took my parking spot."
"Your spot? Don't be ridiculous."
Xander's hands balled into fists. That guy was really annoying!
"That was my spot, asshole. If you don't get your ass moving, I'll *make* you move."
"Alright, alright, chill down. Geez."
The other guy got in his car and parked in another spot. Xander nodded satisfied. He had shown him. Oh. Right, the challenge.
Entering the building (without moving his car), Xander checked his phone and sent SwitchHit a message:
Tank: Man, people are crazy today. Some asshole took my parking spot and I had to show him.
SwitchHit: Sorry to hear that.
SwitchHit: Did you change your screen name?
Tank: Nope. It's Tank, as it has always been. Because I'm a fricking TANK!
SwitchHit: Yeah. That makes sense.
"Battle available!"
Xander was collecting stuff from the shelves when he rolled the dice in-between. He rolled a solid 14, but Chris beat him by one point.
"Tank rolled: 14. SwitchHit rolled: 15. SwitchHit wins!"
Xander cursed loudly, making a few heads turn in the shop. The wheel turned and finally landed on a heart shape. "Empathy" it read. Another one of those fuzzy words.
"Challenge! Cut ties that hold you back!"
Xander scratched his head. What was that supposed to mean? He really wanted to win this game, so what did he have to do now?
As he thought about this, another message popped up, this time from the chat group with his closest circle of friends, who were planning their next meet-up. If Xander thought about it, he was really annoyed by those guys. They were all nerds and losers who always had shit ideas like board games and stuff. Without a second thought, Xander replied to the group.
Tank: I'm not coming. Those gatherings are a waste of time. Get lost, losers!
With that, he left the group and blocked the numbers of his so called friends. He had better things to do.
"Battle available!"
Like that, for example. Chris, who went by the silly nickname of CuddleBug, was at least a horny bastard like Xander himself. With a tap, he rolled the dice.
"Tank rolled: 12. CuddleBug rolled: 10. Tank wins!"
Oh yeah! The roll wasn't even so great, yet still he won. Xander smiled even broader when the wheel landed on a muscular torso, labelled simply: "Muscles."
In an instant, Xander felt his whole body swell up. No wonder. Axel basically *lived* in the gym. As he looked down, the fabric of his shirt had turned almost transparent with the sudden expansion of his muscles. It wasn't just his torso, of course. Axel didn't skip leg day, so his quads and hamstrings grew to impressive size, too. His shoulders were getting broad and wide, as well, to the point where he had difficulties reaching his back.
"Challenge! Show your gainz, buy a muscle shirt!"
Axel could have slapped his forehead. Why didn't he think of that himself - and sooner? He needed to share that thought.
Tank: Hey Chris, what ya tink? I should get a muscle shirt, huh?
Tank sent an image.
CuddleBug: Omg, yes. That will look awesome. I wish I had muscles like that.
Axel grinned. Right. No wonder that Chris agreed, Axel's muscles were a sight to behold. Good thing he was already in a store. He quickly bought a few muscle shirts, enough to replace his usual wardrobe. After paying for his purchase, Axel put on the new shirt right on the parking lot before squeezing himself into his car.
"Battle available!"
The game was pretty fast-paced. Axel tapped to roll the dice and was pumping his fist, when one after another, all three dice ended up showing a six.
"Tank rolled: 18. CuddleBug rolled: 4. Tank wins! Critical!"
"Ha! Yes!" Axel cheered and the wheel spun until it showed "Dominance".
A surge of excitement and satisfaction rushed through Axel's veins. He felt *good* all of a sudden. And *powerful*.
"Challenge! Assert your dominance! Challenge a gym bro today!"
Axel grinned. Yeah, that was exactly his thing. He needed to get to the gym anyway. That free membership was hard earned. Also, Chri- Kit seemed to like his gains. Time to make some more.
It was still early afternoon, and the gym wasn't packed with visitors yet, when Axel arrived. There were a few regulars, as always. A short dude with a moustache that looked like a wannabe porn star and a big dude with a neckbeard were currently occupying the bench press, while a girl in her 40s did lat pulls.
Confidently and arrogantly, Axel readjusted his half-hard cock and approached the big guy.
"Yo, man. You're pretty buff. But I bet I can still take you easily. Wann wrestle?"
The large dude looked at Axel for a moment. Axel could see a vein on his neck throb.
"You little shit. You think you're better than me, huh? Fine, let's do this."
In the pocket of his gym shorts, Axel could feel his phone vibrate.
"Ha. Lead the way, I'm gonna wipe the floor with you."
As he followed the big guy to the mats, Axel checked his phone.
"Battle available!"
Great! Before he kicked some ass, he could play some more! While walking, he rolled the dice and scored a 15!
"Tank rolled: 15. CuddleBug rolled: 9. Tank wins!"
He didn't have time to watch the wheel this time, so he didn't notice that it landed on "Stamina." He also didn't see the challenge, which simply read: "Kick some ass!"
The big guy was already waiting for him on the mats, but Axel felt incredibly cocky. This was gonna be easy!
"No rules, no limits, no mercy." Axel said and the other guy nodded.
"That's the way it's gonna be. No mercy, punk."
"Bring it, tubby."
The big guy was the first to charge and he was surprisingly fast for his size. However, his speed and strength were no match for Axel's new found muscles. Even though they wrestled for a few minutes, Axel found himself not even tiring much. Finally, he was able to flip his opponent around and lock him on the ground. He tried to struggle, but Axel held his arms and legs firmly in place.
"Give up, man. You can't win."
The big guy tried to wiggle out of Axel's grip, but to no avail. He could struggle and shout as much as he wanted, but Axel was the one on top.
Finally, the guy gave up and admitted defeat.
"Ha! Loser!" Axel cheered and got up. He had a full boner now, both from the sweaty wrestling as well as from the display of dominance, but he didn't hide it. Instead, he headed to the showers and let Kit know of his triumph on the way.
XxBeastxX: I just *dominated* some fuckin weakass in the gym. Wrestled him down and he was crying and everything.
Kit answered right away.
CuddleBug: You're awesome.
CuddleBug: I wish I could have been in this place.
XxBeastxX: Ha. Course I am.
XxBeastxX: Huh? Whatya mean?
CuddleBug: Nothing. Never mind.
Axel was about to answer, but yet another "Battle available!" message popped up.
This game was seriously addictive! Axel rolled the dice and had a 10, which was decidedly less than what Kit had.
"XxBeastxX rolled: 10. CuddleBug rolled: 11. CuddleBug wins!"
"Damn." Axel said, but the wheel landed on "Generosity." He was almost glad he lost. Otherwise, the challenge would probably have been something like "Donate to the homeless" or some shit. What did the homeless ever do for him?
Instead, the challenge was:
"Challenge! Sell something of sentimental value!"
Huh. Well, Axel didn't really have anything he would consider "sentimental". His old PS2 that he got from his uncle for his 10th birthday was a bit sentimental, but other than that... Oh! His old car would probably qualify.
Axel thought about it. On the one hand, his old car was a piece of shit, and he shouldn't care much about it, but on the other hand... It would be a shame if he would have to say goodbye to his baby. Would it? No, not really. It was a pain to squeeze into it anyway. And if he played his cards right, he would even get some good money for it.
The decision was easy, and after showering, Axel drove to the nearest car dealer. It was a hard bargain, but in the end, he managed to persuade the guy to buy his car. It wasn't a high price, but it was more than what the piece of crap was really worth.
Just as he finished the contract, his phone dinged. It was rude, of course, but he didn't give a flying shit about that and checked his phone. It was from Kit, of course.
TwinkyKit: I just donated some money to the homeless. That felt good!
Axel snorted. Of course, how pathetic.
XxBeastxX: Good. Maybe now they won't be so fucking lazy anymore and work a little.
"Battle available!"
It seemed like the game always interrupted their chats. Well, anyway. He quickly rolled the dice, while the car dealer waited patiently to return his attention to him again. The dice turned out lower than Kit's again and after reading the wheel result and the challenge, Axel looked back up to the car dealer. For a split second, the "Money" challenge was still visible on the screen: "Challenge! Buy a muscle car! You know you want it!"
Damn right he did. Jax had always wanted to have a muscle car. He just never had the money. Bullshit. He never had the balls to take on some debt to buy one.
The car dealer was more than willing to help Jax chose and set up the necessary credit paperwork. He didn't even read this shit and selected a car immediately. A shiny, silver beast with a huge engine. It was a bit pricy, but it was worth it, at least to Jax. After he received the keys, he messaged Kit.
XxBeastxX: While you were busy giving money to some crackheads, I got myself something new. Check this out!
XxBeastxX sent an image.
XxBeastxX sent an image.
The first image was the car of course. The second was a dick pic, for good measures. Jax didn't really care that he was still at the car dealer when he lowered his pants for a moment to snap the pic.
TwinkyKit: OMG. You're such a stud.
XxBeastxX: Thanks, Twinky.
XxBeastxX: By the way, show some respect!
He drove back home, feeling great.
At home, the next battle was already available. Jax grinned and rolled the dice. He could hardly believe what he saw: 3 single eyes. He rolled a fucking 3.
"XxBeastxX rolled: 3. TwinkyKit rolled: 3. Tie! Both lose! Critical!"
What a pathetic roll, for both of them!
The wheel landed on "Impulse Control". This was getting interesting. It was true, Jax was notoriously bad at controlling himself. He just bought a new car, on a whim. So whatever challenge was coming his way shouldn't be too hard.
"Challenge! Get that tat!"
Jax didn't think much about it. Sure, why not. He would probably regret it, but that was something future Jax would have to deal with. He started his shiny new car again and drove to a nearby tattoo studio.
When the artist asked what kind of design he wanted, he only thought for a second, before deciding: "A dragon, obviously!"
As the artist started working, he massaged his dick with his other hand, earning him a condescending look from the artist. He couldn't help it though. Kit... Kitty would surely love his new tat.
When he sent a pic later, he was proven right:
TwinkyKit: OMG! That's hot.
TwinkyKit: I wish I had one, too.
TwinkyKit: I mean: Sir.
Jax smiled and was about to type a reply, when another "Battle available!"-message distracted him.
He quickly rolled the dice and grinned at the result: 15! That beat Kittys sorry little ass for sure, and he was right. Kitty had a mere 7 points to show. This time, the wheel landed on "Aggressiveness."
If possible, Jax felt even more powerful and manly. The challenge read "Start a bar fight!" and that was exactly what Jax wanted to do this evening. Well, that or fuck some ass, but really, a good bar fight was probably even better tonight.
He quickly messaged Kitty.
Ass_Crusher🍆: Talk to you tomorrow. Gonna kick some ass now. Think of me when you jerk off tonight, boy!
Kitty responded almost instantly, with a picture of his uncut dick.
TwinkyKit: I will, Sir! Have fun.
Jax drove to the nearest gay bar, a shady joint called "Diesel". The music was loud, and the lights were dim. Jax didn't mind the atmosphere, though, instead, he went straight to the bar and ordered a double shot. He downed the drink and ordered a second. Just as the bartender placed the glass in front of him, he grabbed it and threw the liquor right into the bartender's face.
"The fuck?! What are you doing?!"
"What do you think, asshole?" Jax answered, his voice dangerously calm.
"You can't do this!"
"Yeah, I can. And you're going to shut the fuck up."
With those words, Jax slammed his fist in the bartender's face, who immediately fell to the ground. There had been really no reason for him to punch the bartender, but it had the intended effect: From one moment to the other, there was a barfight in full swing.
Of course, everyone tried to overwhelm Jax, but he fought back with vigor and stamina. Several black eyes and a broken nose on his enemies later, the patrons and the bar's bouncer managed to throw Jax out, but still, Jax had a great time, kicking ass and punching dudes. Before someone could call the cops, Jax went home, happy and content.
When Jax woke up the next morning, he almost didn't notice any bruises anymore. Instead, he grabbed his phone while he was doing his morning piss and checked ATArena. Yep, there was another battle available. Time to see if Kitty was already up.
He rolled the dice and only a minute later, Kitty's results came in. Easy win. Jax had rolled only a ten, but Kitty didn't beat him with his pathetic five. However, Jax laughed out loudly, as he saw the wheel's result: Dick size.
"Challenge! Show your assets!"
*That*, Jax could do. He watched as the cock in his hand grew longer and fatter by the second, instantly forgetting that it had once been smaller. No, Jax always had a big, fat and juicy cock, the biggest, actually. With a few last strokes, Jax sent a pic of his cock, the tip glistening wet.
Ass_Crusher🍆: Check that out. That's what a real cock looks like.
Ass_Crusher🍆 sent an image.
Ass_Crusher🍆 sent an image.
Ass_Crusher🍆 sent an image.
Jax sent several more images of his magnificent rod, both naked and wearing tight underwear. As if there was another kind. For Jax, all underwear was tight.
Finally, Kitty responded.
CrushersToyBoy: Fuck. You're so hot, Sir.
CrushersToyBoy sent an image.
Jax smirked. Kitty's own cock was tiny, especially compared to Jax' equipment. It didn't matter much, though. Kitty didn't need it, he needed to have his ass crushed.
Ass_Crusher🍆: I know, babe. I know. You know what I'll do with it now?
"Battle available!"
God dammit. This was getting annoying.
Jax quickly rolled the dice, scoring the top available score! 18 points! But apparently, Kitty was just as lucky, rolling an 18, too.
"Ass_Crusher🍆 rolled: 18. CrushersToyBoy rolled: 18. Tie! Both win! Critical!"
Jax didn't even need to read the attribute to feel it. It was "Libido, again." His already mostly hard cock surged up, becoming a firm steel pipe in his pre-cum soaked underwear. There were no pants on earth that could hide his constant arousal - on some days, even a firm pair of jeans left nothing to imagination and showed a wet patch where his cock was constantly leaking pre. He was a walking and breathing sex machine and Rex knew it. His name was fitting, too. He was a fucking king among men. And today he was going to breed the fuckable ass of that twink.
Ass_Crusher🍆: Get ready, boy. I'm cumming over and I'm gonna split open that ass of yours.
Rex closed the game and deleted it. There was no point in wasting his time with some stupid mobile game. He got back into his car and revved the engine. Oh yeah. Time to get some ass!
What a great game! I know I wouldn't mind playing if ATArena popped up on my phone, would you?
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collateral | b.e
The last time you had seen Billie was 6 months ago, the tone it had been left on was sour, an argument if she was as committed to the relationship as you were. Half of a year since then, and you were still looking for answers. Did she miss you as much as you missed her? No, you don’t miss her. You can’t miss her. But when you're alone in your bed on a cold winter night, you let your mind drift off to imagine her warmth surrounding you, holding you just as she used to. You miss her in the quiet moments of life.
You look over to your nightstand, the clock reading 3:26 AM. deciding sleep is a lost cause, you pick up your phone and scroll mindlessly, trying to distract yourself from the ache in your heart. As if the algorithm was laughing at you, an ad of billie promoting her upcoming project pops up. She talks and smiles, telling whoever would be watching how excited she is for everyone to hear her art. You search her eyes, a sign that she could even be remotely sad without you. Maybe it’s the fact that the video is prerecorded, or maybe she doesn’t feel your absence at all that makes you find nothing.
You can't stop your mind from going back to that fateful night.
“So what, you just want to end this?” she stands with you, toe to toe and tears glossing over her blue eyes. “Billie, you’re not even hearing me, just hearing what you want to hear!” tears fill your own eyes, blurring your vision. The argument escalated quickly, emotions that had been brewing in you for months finally spilling out at an alarming rate.
You continue, “I just feel used, okay? We’ve been going out for a year without even being together officially. I understand that you’re busy, that the situation isn’t as simple as it seems, but fuck billie. You’ve had time, and I've had enough.” the girl in front of you falls silent, her mouth slightly ajar as she tries to collect her thoughts. The tension only grows as she stays quiet. “So that’s it then? You have nothing to say?” Billie picks up her jaw and rolls her eyes.
“I want you, truly. It's just tha-” you cut her off with a sarcastic laugh, tears rolling down your cheeks. “There's always an excuse, bil! I’m just never enough for you, never enough to just be yours.” eye contact breaks as you look down to the floor, quiet sobs escaping your mouth. Billie is quick to step forward and pull you close. Too tired to fight back, you melt into her arms.
“I’m sorry, baby. I am.” she whispers into your hair, “i just…can’t” you look up at her, eyes red and puffy. “You can’t? Can’t do what you're doing right now?” you push her off of you, anger over taking once again. “Don’t make it sound like that, y/n. You know it’s more than that”
“A year billie! And for what? For you to just use me, use my love, my time, my body?” Billie's eyebrows scrunch at your words. “I would never use you, I love you, you know that.” she begins to defend herself. “Then what are you doing?” your ears feel warm and your stomach is churning. You already know where this is going, despite your best efforts.
You look at each other, a desperation in both of your eyes, a hunger.
“I don’t know.” she whispers.
“Leave, now.” you respond.
“y/n, don’t do this. Please, please don’t do this” she begs you, pleading. “No billie, I can't keep doing this.” Billie's tears finally falling down her rosy cheeks, a look of acceptance settles onto her face.
“Okay.”
You watch her grab her keys and walk towards the door. She looks back at you one final time, hoping you would change your mind. Crossing your arms, you stand firmly, despite feeling anything but confident.
You sit on the edge of your bed, holding your knees to your chest. Cries rake through your body, the memory being all too much. A ding from your phone makes you look up, rubbing the tears from your eyes as you pick up the device. It feels like the world stops spinning as you read the notification.
Billie
hey
pt 2
maze speaks !
this is so ass </3 so sorry :p first fic tho! just hoping i get better as time goes on (part two probs)
#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish angst#this is so bad#sorry lol
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Could you please make one with Carlos or Jannik where reader is older than him like and is a bit insecure about it



Right Where I Want to Be | C.Alcaraz
synopsis: your boyfriend says something that he doesn’t realize makes you overthink your age gap.
pairing: carlos alcaraz x f!reader, established relationship
warnings: age gap (reader is 26, carlos is 22), slight agnst with happy ending, insecurities
author’s note: hii! it’s my first time writing a request so i hope it’s to your liking! please enjoy! ❤️
words: 1,392
The sound of his laughter echoes through the apartment, boyish and carefree, like the kind that makes you feel lighter just by being near it.
You’re curled up on the couch, legs tucked under you, a soft blanket thrown over your lap, scrolling absently through your phone. The Instagram algorithm seems to know exactly what mood you’re in—weddings, baby announcements, couples with coordinated outfits and golden retrievers. One after another.
“Can you believe I’m the same age as that guy?” Carlos chuckles from the kitchen, voice warm, cutting through your thoughts.
You glance up to see him grinning at some video on his phone. A viral clip of a twenty-two-year-old doing a drunken backflip off a bar counter—landing flat on his ass. Everyone in the comments is cheering him on for being “young, wild, and free.”
Carlos looks over at you, his grin still intact, not realizing that the comment hit a little differently for you.
He walks over, standing behind the couch to drape his arms around your shoulders, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. But your laughter doesn’t come. You just hum in response, still staring at the screen like it holds the answers to questions you haven��t asked out loud.
He doesn’t notice the silence right away.
But you feel it—like a chill sneaking in through a crack in the window. That familiar voice in your head, the one you’ve spent so long learning to ignore, suddenly louder again.
“He’s 22,” it says. “He’s supposed to be out there being wild and free. You’re 26. People your age are settling down. What are you even doing?”
You try to push the thoughts away, try to remind yourself that love doesn’t come with a checklist or a timetable. But it’s hard not to feel the distance in years tonight. Hard not to feel like maybe you’re the one holding him back from something he hasn’t even realized he wants yet.
•
You don’t bring it up right away.
Instead, you tell him you’re tired and head to bed early. He doesn’t question it, just gives you that sweet smile and tells you he’ll join you soon.
But as you lie in the dark, your mind races. You think about your friends—another one just got engaged last weekend. The one who used to be the last to settle down, the one who swore she’d never wear white or sign papers. And now here she is, glowing with a ring on her finger and a baby on the way.
You think about how, at twenty-two, you were still trying to figure out who you were. Still making mistakes and changing your mind and staying out too late. And Carlos—he’s already famous, already so sure of what he wants, what he’s chasing. But that doesn’t mean he won’t change.
What if he does?
What if one day, he wakes up and wants to live the life his friends are living? The wild, reckless, consequence-free life you’ve already outgrown?
You barely hear the bedroom door open.
But you feel the bed dip as he slides in next to you, arms finding your waist like it’s instinct.
“You okay?” he whispers into the dark, his voice thick with concern.
You hesitate for a beat too long.
“Yeah,” you lie, voice soft. “Just tired.”
Carlos goes quiet for a moment, then shifts, propping himself up on one elbow so he can look down at you.
“Did I say something?” he asks gently. “You’ve been... I don’t know, kind of distant tonight.”
You blink up at the ceiling. You weren’t going to say anything. But now that he’s looking at you like that—with those wide brown eyes that somehow always make you want to spill your heart—you exhale.
“Earlier,” you begin. “When you joked about being the same age as that guy in the video…”
You trail off, unsure how to make him understand without sounding like you’re reading too much into it.
Carlos frowns a little, confused. “Yeah?”
“It just made me think,” you continue. “That maybe you should be doing those kinds of things. Living that kind of life. And not…” You bite your lip, trying to steady your voice. “Not tied down to someone who’s already thinking about timelines and settling down. Someone older.”
His brows furrow in an instant. “Wait—no, no. Is that what you think?” His voice is soft but insistent, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You think I feel tied down being with you?”
You don’t answer right away. The silence is louder now, heavier.
“I just... sometimes I wonder if you’ll regret it,” you admit quietly. “Being with me. Missing out on the stuff your friends are doing. You’re so young, Carlos. And I’m already starting to feel behind. Like I should be at a different place in life.”
He exhales, deep and slow, then cups your cheek so you’re looking at him. His thumb brushes along your skin.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he says. “That joke—God, I didn’t even think. I was just laughing at the guy falling on his ass.”
You smile faintly, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“But you’re right,” he goes on. “People my age are out partying and doing crazy things. And you know what?” He leans in a little closer. “None of that makes me feel like I’m missing anything. I’m not jealous of them. I don’t want that life. I had that life. A little bit. The parties, the chaos. But it always felt... empty.”
He shifts, now lying on his side so he’s face-to-face with you.
“When I met you,” he says, “everything felt clearer. More grounded. It wasn’t about age. It was about you. The way you listen. The way you challenge me. The way you remind me who I am outside of tennis and interviews and cameras. You make me feel real.”
Your throat tightens.
“I don’t want wild and free,” he continues, voice barely above a whisper. “I want you. I want late-night talks and cooking breakfast in your old t-shirts. I want arguments about where to order takeout from and you stealing all the blankets. I want to build a life—not just a highlight reel.”
You finally look at him, really look at him, and see the sincerity etched in every line of his face.
“But what if one day that changes?” you ask, vulnerable. “What if you wake up and want something different?”
He pauses, thoughtful.
“Then we’ll talk about it,” he says honestly. “But right now? I know what I want. And I’m choosing this. Choosing you. Every single day. And not because I feel trapped or pressured. But because you’re the one I want beside me through it all. Not just the wins. The hard stuff too.”
He leans in and kisses your forehead, slow and lingering.
Your eyes sting with unshed tears. Relief washing over you like a tide. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Can I just say something? You’re not old, cariño. Like—not even close.”
You sigh, “It just feels like I should be further along, you know? Everyone my age is getting married, having kids…”
“So? That doesn’t mean you’re behind. You’re twenty-six. That’s still young. You’ve got time. We’ve got time.” His voice is gentle.
“I just don’t want you to wake up one day and feel like you missed out—like I held you back.” You admit.
“Hey. I’m not missing anything. I don’t want the party life or anything like that. I want you. You, exactly as you are.” He states firmly but soft, you can’t believe this man is yours.
“You really mean that?” A wave of relief washes over you.
Carlos presses his forehead to yours, “Completely. You’re not old. You’re not late. You’re just right for me.”
You reach out and wrap your arms around him, pulling him close. He slides into your embrace without hesitation, warm and solid.
You breathe him in—his scent, his presence, his comfort—and feel the storm in your mind begin to quiet.
Maybe the world will always have something to say. About age, about timing, about what love is supposed to look like.
But in this room, in his arms, none of that matters.
Because he’s here. He’s choosing you.
Right where you want to be.
#carlos alcaraz#carlos alcaraz x reader#carlos alcaraz x you#tennis x reader#tennis imagine#alcaraz#carlos alcaraz imagine#carlos alcaraz fluff
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ONLY YOURS - JUJU WATKINS X READER



Summary: Because of recent speculation, online, it makes you rethink your relationship with juju.
Warning: cursing, angst to fluff, reader bluffing, miscommunication from r
Author's note: this fic was requested by @atditsitzjt and I hope you enjoy reading this, we love Otto in this house, I just needed someone who juju is close to build up fic tension.
feedbacks are always welcome and happy readings readers 💐
To be honest, you had no reason to think that juju would cheat on you.
But overthinking is a bitch and that how you and juju found yourself in this messy position in you're relationship.
It all started with when you saw a comment about how juju is always with Otto and doesn't she have a girlfriend to go to.
That comment didn't bother you at all until the sudden change of your algorithm.
You started seeing post of people shipping them together, pictures that looked way too intimate.
how they are always together from practice to hanging outside of campus together.
You felt like your heart got twisted and toyed with. You waited until she would come over to your place to try and bring it up, not wanting to jump into conclusion yet wanting to give her the benefit of doubt.
Juju came around, and she could tell something was wrong, but she didn't want to push your buttons after the long day she had.
You both enjoyed each other company, but the sense of lingering tension was obviously in the air and if anyone was to enter the room they would most likely feel suffocated.
You were laying on your girlfriend as she scrolled through her phone on Instagram.
But you couldn't keep quite anymore and got off her, she looked at you a confused.
you cleared your throat to speak.
"So you and Otto hang out with each other a lot." You started with.
"Yeah, she's my best friend, you know that." She said.
"You guys are really close for best friend".
"What point are you trying to make?". She said, looking irritated.
"I'm gonna be straight with you, Juju are you cheatin-. Before you could finish you heard her cut you off. "Don't you finish that sentence, what made you come to this." The way she reacted caught you off guard.
"Oh, I'm sorry that my supposed girlfriend loves hanging out with her best friend more than her actual gf, that it has the internet speculating if you guys are dating".
"You have to be serious, you're getting your claims from delusional people on the internet?". She said looking really hurt by the not so accusation you put against her.
"Yeah because they make more sense than whatever your fucking saying juju".
"What can't you understand she's my best friend just because we're always together, means nothing to me." You heard her say, she tired grabbing your hands but you simply moved back creating more space between the two of you.
"But it does to me do you ever think about how I would feel huh, you don't see me always hanging out with my best friend like that". You told her getting upset that she couldn't understand your point of view.
"One she's been with me since day one, she works with the team too, so of course we're always gonna be at the same place two just because we're always together means nothing to me". She explained to you. Grabbing both your hands as she continued speaking
"You're my girlfriend, not her, the person I love and adore you make me feel all sorts of things when we're together."
You felt a little shakend, she was someone who was always straight foward but doesn't to pushy with it. You had nothing to say to her they only thing you could do was leave the living room.
where you both we're staying so you could get some air.
You felt like a huge asshole for doubting her. What type of partner accuses there significant other, onto of that you use the internet as some type of excuses just because of your insecurities instead of communicating with her.
Oh you felt bad, after what felt likes hours but was only a few minutes you went back inside after staying outside. Juju was just how you left her, she was sitting on the arm of the couch fidgeting with her fingers.
You stood in front of her, but there was still the lack of distance between two of you.
You started by saying
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have accused you like that I don't know what wrong with me everything people were saying just got to me". You told her.
"I'm not gonna lie, your accusations hurt me, especially when you know I would never do you like that." She said, pulling you closer as she laid her head on your shoulder.
After your conversation with her that night, you expected her not to stay over like she normally does but she did.
You're both laying down in bed you couldn't fall asleep yet.
"Baby, I just wanted you to know I'm really sorry, and I feel so stupid thinking about it." You said, thinking she fell asleep.
"It okay, just go back to bed mhm". You heard her say as she pulled you closer by your waist.
"Goodnight, I love you." You said to her as you slowly able to fall asleep and be at peace without your mind playing tricks on you.
"I love you too." She said her arms stil wrapped around your body.
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