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marvelseries19 · 2 months ago

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SAFE WITH YOU

Chapter Five - Castaway

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff ft female agent reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: The process of coming back is hard, yet not impossible, especially since Natasha is right by your side through it all. And you finally get your happy ending.

A/N: Okay, with this, we say goodbye to this series. From this point on, there will be no more chapters. However, I will make one-shots to dive deeper into the healing process and show parts I didn't show or talk about, things you're curious about. As always, you're more than welcome to leave comments, feedback, requests, ask questions, etc. Enjoy. And if you see typos, no, you didn't.

Warning: +18, nightmares, maybe mentions of ptsd, etc. Some very, VERY suggestive part at the end.

Word count: 7.5k+

[You do not have permission to repost or translate any of my stories or claim them as yours.]

The days in the medical wing pass in a strange, suspended rhythm. Time feels warped — too fast in some moments, agonizingly slow in others. You sleep in stretches, eat when they tell you, and endure tests and scans and soft-spoken assessments. They tell you your body is healing well. No major infections. The weight loss is significant but expected. Dehydration is corrected. You’re stable.

But you-you don’t feel that way.

The ceiling tiles blur into a single repeated shape. The bed is too soft. Too still. There are no rustling trees, no ocean wind, and no birds to mark the sunrise. Just the mechanical hum of machines, the occasional beep of monitors, and the muffled footsteps of nurses outside your door.

You find yourself waking in the middle of the night, expecting smoke, thunder, and the sound of waves. But there’s nothing. Just silence. You wonder if your body forgot how to feel safe.

Natasha comes every day.

She doesn't hover. She doesn’t overwhelm. She just is. Always there, curled in the chair near your bed, boots kicked off, hands wrapped around lukewarm coffee, flipping through a book without really reading it. Sometimes she talks. Sometimes she doesn’t. Mostly, she just watches you. Like, she still can’t quite believe you’re real. That you’re here.

There are moments when she reaches for your hand and hesitates, catching herself like she’s afraid she’ll break you.

On the sixth day, the doctors tell you it’s time.

“You’re stable,” the lead medic says gently. “We can continue monitoring from home and give you instructions. It’s entirely your call, but… We think you’re ready.”

You’re not sure what “ready” is supposed to feel like. The idea of leaving the room you’ve come to accept as a kind of purgatory doesn’t make you feel free — it makes your chest tighten.

You nod anyway.

Natasha is quiet as she helps you dress. Civilian clothes. Soft. New. The fabric feels too thick, too unfamiliar. You move slowly, your body still remembering scarcity. Still conserving energy. Still unsure it’s safe to let go.

She kneels to help with your shoes and pauses when you flinch at the contact. You recover quickly, hand on her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be,” she says softly.

As you stand together at the doorway, your discharge papers in a folder under your arm, Natasha glances down at your hand and laces her fingers through yours.

You hesitate. “I don’t know what’s waiting out there. I don’t know how to—”

“I know,” she says. Her grip tightens. “We’ll go slow. Whatever pace you need.”

You nod, even though your chest still aches with uncertainty.

The elevator ride down feels surreal. You’re not used to enclosed spaces with buttons and polished metal reflections. Your heart skips once, twice — Natasha notices.

“We can go back upstairs,” she offers quietly. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

You shake your head. “No. I just… need to get used to it again.”

When the doors open, the light is different. Sharper. Louder. There are more people. Too many. The security staff nods respectfully as you pass, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in a hallway mirror.

You don’t look like the version of yourself that disappeared. You’re thinner. Your eyes are sharper, older somehow. There’s a haunted look to your posture, even when you try to stand tall.

Natasha opens the car door for you. It feels strange — being helped. Being ushered. You slide into the seat and keep your eyes forward the whole drive, watching a world that moved on while you were gone. So many people, so much motion. Bright lights. Noise. Life.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Natasha asks softly, not pushing.

You shake your head at first.

Then, quietly: “It doesn’t feel like mine anymore. Like… I left the world for a while, and it forgot me. And now I’m trying to remember how to belong to it again.”

She nods slowly. “I know that feeling.”

You glance at her. “Yeah?”

“I lived in shadows for a long time. It’s different. But I remember what it’s like to come back and not recognize the shape of your own life.”

That lands. You stare out the window. “And what did you do?”

She looks over at you, eyes soft. “I made new memories. With the people I loved.”

The apartment building comes into view. It’s familiar and unfamiliar all at once. You remember the smell of the hallway, the way the light slants through the windows in the afternoon. You remember the doorframe, the number on it, the chipped edge of the paint. Home. Kind of.

Your hand pauses on the doorknob. Natasha’s close behind you, silent.

You whisper, “What if I don’t know how to live in it anymore?”

She’s quiet for a moment. Then, gently says, “Then we make it new. Together.”

You open the door.

Inside, everything is neat. Intact. Untouched. Maria must’ve kept it clean. Your things are still where you left them: photos, books, and your coat hanging by the door like it had been waiting for you.

You step inside slowly, eyes scanning everything.

Natasha doesn't push. She just follows quietly, giving you room.

In the corner, you spot something unexpected — a small carved figure, worn and faded. Red. Maria must have brought him from the med facility. You walk over and hold him in your hand, brushing your thumb along the ridges of the coconut’s face.

Natasha watches you with something close to reverence.

You finally turn to her.

“I don’t know what comes next,” you admit.

She steps closer, placing a hand gently against your back. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”

You nod, your eyes wet but steady.

And for the first time in a long time, you believe her.

You stay near a window for a while. The apartment is quiet, every sound soft and unfamiliar. You’re still holding Red, fingers absently brushing the worn coconut shell, when Natasha’s voice cuts gently through the stillness.

“Do you want to take a bath?”

You glance toward her, surprised by how simple and kind the question sounds. A bath. It’s been… years. And for a moment, the idea makes your chest feel tight — not because you’re afraid of it, but because it feels too gentle, too civilized, too far from where you were.

You swallow. “Yeah, but would you… stay with me?”

Her face softens. "Yeah, of course.”

She says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world — like she hasn’t missed you every second of the past three years. Like she wouldn’t drop everything to do exactly that.

Natasha walks you to the bathroom without fuss. She starts the water, adjusting it with practiced motions, quiet in the way she always is when things really matter. You sit on the closed toilet lid, watching steam curl toward the ceiling, already letting the warmth pull at the edges of something inside you.

Once the tub is full, you strip slowly, wrapping a towel around yourself as she turns away to give you space. You can’t help but smile at that, even if it’s faint — Natasha Romanoff, world-class assassin, averting her eyes with her cheeks slightly blushed, like you’re some delicate painting she’s afraid to damage.

You step into the water, easing down with a quiet hiss of breath as the heat envelops you. Your muscles scream and then slowly, slowly, begin to relax.

You lean your head back against the porcelain edge, eyes half-lidded. Natasha sits beside the tub on a folded towel, elbows on her knees, just watching you with a small smile and eyes full of unshed things.

After a minute, her voice breaks the calm.

“Can I help? With your hair?”

Your throat catches. You didn’t expect the offer, not like that — not so softly.

You nod. “Yeah. Please.”

She moves closer, sleeves pushed up, and gathers a little shampoo in her hands. Her fingers slide gently into your hair, slow and careful, massaging your scalp in delicate circles. It feels so good it nearly makes you cry — not because it hurts, but because it doesn’t. Because you didn’t know something so simple could still feel like this.

Her hands are steady, rinsing with warm water cupped between her palms, careful not to splash. She never rushes, never speaks unless it’s to quietly ask if something’s okay.

And when she wraps a towel around your hair and kisses your temple, something in you — something wound too tight for too long — finally lets go.

“You’re here,” she murmurs. “You’re really here.”

You rest your cheek on your arm along the tub’s edge. “It still feels like I’m dreaming.”

“I know,” she says. “Me too.”

You sit in the cooling water a little longer, side by side in silence that no longer feels empty. Eventually, she helps you out, wraps you in warmth, and leads you back to the bedroom with the kind of patience that doesn’t ask anything in return.

And through it all — the quiet, the closeness, the simple human contact — you begin to believe that maybe you really did come home.

And when she wraps a towel around your hair and kisses your temple, something in you — something wound too tight for too long — finally lets go.

—

Later, you’re on the couch, curled in on yourself. You hadn’t wanted to lie down in the bed just yet. Natasha didn’t question it—just handed you a throw blanket, sat beside you, and let the silence settle. She doesn’t crowd you. But she doesn’t leave either.

You stare down at the ring around your neck. The chain is cool against your collarbone.

“I thought about you every night,” you say, voice low, almost ashamed.

Natasha turns her head toward you. “So did I.”

You swallow hard. “I pictured you. Waiting. And then I started wondering if I’d made you up just to have something to hold onto.”

She shifts closer. “I thought I’d never see you again. Every day I told myself I had to keep moving because if I stopped, I’d have to admit you were gone.”

Your voice is a whisper. “And now I’m not gone. But I don’t know how to be here either.”

Natasha reaches over and takes your hand, slow and deliberate. Her thumb brushes over your knuckles. “Then we’ll figure it out together. There’s no right way to do this.”

You lean your head against her shoulder. It feels like touching solid ground after months in open water.

“I missed you so much it hurt,” you say.

She presses her lips to your temple. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

—

That night, after takeout and too many emotions to name, you stand at the bedroom door again.

The bed is made. The pillows fluffed. But it feels like walking into a memory.

Natasha waits patiently, giving you the space to choose.

“I want to try,” you say quietly. “But only if you stay.”

“I was never going to leave.”

She pulls back the covers and slides in beside you, and you crawl in with careful movements, still half afraid the walls might collapse if you breathe too loud.

You both lie on your backs, eyes open in the dark.

“Do you hate that I changed?” you ask.

Natasha’s voice is soft but certain. “I don’t care how you changed. I only care that you’re still mine.”

You roll toward her. Her arm is already there, waiting for you to curl into. You rest your forehead against her collarbone, heart racing like it hasn’t calmed down in years.

“I’m scared,” you whisper.

“I know,” she says, kissing your hair. “Me too.”

But she holds you all the same.

And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself fall asleep.

The room is dark and quiet. Natasha’s breath is steady beside you, warm, familiar, and grounding. You count each inhale, each exhale, like an anchor, like maybe if you focus hard enough, the rest of you will settle too.

But it doesn’t.

The bed is too soft. The mattress, the pillows—it all feels like it’s swallowing you whole. Your muscles are tense, your jaw is locked, and your breath is shallow. It’s not the silence that unsettles you. It’s the stillness. Too comfortable. Too easy. Too alien.

You lie there for what feels like hours, heart thudding loud in your chest, staring into the darkness.

Eventually, you slip out of bed as quietly as you can. The floor is cool under your feet, grounding in a way the mattress never could be. You lower yourself slowly, cautiously, and lie flat on your back beside your side of the bed, the wooden floor pressing firm and unyielding against your spine.

It feels… real. Familiar. You exhale, finally.

And that’s where Natasha finds you five minutes later—when her hand reaches across the bed and touches only cold sheets.

Her breath catches, and then you hear the mattress shift as she scrambles up, switching on the bedside lamp. Her voice is low but tight.

“Y/N?”

You blink up at her from the floor. “I’m here.”

She sees you and stills. Her shoulders drop slightly with relief, though her expression softens with worry.

“I—I couldn’t sleep,” you say quietly. “The bed felt wrong.”

She doesn’t say anything for a second. Then, without asking, she reaches for the blanket at the foot of the bed, kneels beside you, and drapes it gently over your body. Her fingers linger a moment against your arm.

“Next time, wake me. Please.”

You look at her, eyes tired. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not a bother,” she says immediately, voice low and raw. “Not now. Not ever.”

A beat passes. Then Natasha shifts down beside you, lying flat on the floor without hesitation. The floor creaks beneath both your bodies. She glances at you sideways, head tilted on the hardwood.

“You’re really doing this?”

“You’re down here with me, aren’t you?”

A small smile plays on her lips. “Of course I am.”

Another pause.

“You know,” you murmur after a while, staring up at the ceiling, “the floor reminds me I’m real. That I’m here. The bed’s too forgiving. It’s too easy to think I might be dreaming all this. Or worse—dead.”

Natasha’s face turns toward you, open and quietly aching.

“I used to sleep on the floor too,” she says after a long beat. “First few years out of the Red Room. I couldn’t take the softness. The quiet. I felt like I didn’t deserve comfort.”

You nod, your throat tight. “I get that.”

“But you do deserve it,” she continues. “Even if it takes time to believe it.”

You’re quiet for a moment. Then: “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I didn’t let myself hope.”

She reaches out slowly and links her pinky with yours. “Hope’s stubborn. Just like you.”

The silence that follows is heavier, but not suffocating. A kind of understanding passes between you without needing words.

Eventually, you roll onto your side, facing her. She mirrors you instantly, and your foreheads touch lightly. Her hand finds your waist, pulling you close beneath the blanket.

This close, it’s easier to breathe.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” you whisper.

“I could never bring myself to,” she replies, barely audible.

And with her warmth against your chest, her breath against your cheek, and the floor beneath you steady and real—you finally drift into sleep. Not perfectly. Not painlessly. But peacefully, for the first time in a very long time.

Together.

You wake slowly, eyes still closed, warm under the blanket, the floor beneath you solid and cool. For a second you forget where you are, panic fluttering at the edge of your chest—until you feel a thumb brushing slow circles against your side, and the scent of Natasha’s shampoo grounding you more than the floor ever could.

“Morning,” she whispers.

Your eyes flutter open. She’s already awake, head propped up slightly on her arm. Her gaze is soft, red hair a little wild from sleep.

You blink at her, throat dry. “You didn’t move.”

“Didn’t want to leave you alone,” she says simply.

You shift a little, wincing faintly from the stiffness. “You’re going to have back problems, Romanoff.”

She smiles, one of those rare, real ones. “Too late.”

You lie there in silence for a bit longer, the light beginning to slip in through the curtains.

“Part of me feels stupid,” you admit eventually, your voice still hoarse from sleep. “Sleeping on the floor, avoiding a bed like it’s a trap.”

“It’s not stupid,” she says gently. “It’s survival. You’re adjusting. That takes time. However long you need—I’ll be here.”

You stare up at the ceiling. “Everything feels different. Like I’ve got to learn the world all over again.”

“Then we’ll learn it together.”

That brings a lump to your throat. She must see it, because she reaches up and brushes your cheek with the back of her hand.

“I missed you so much,” she murmurs. “Every single day.”

You nod, voice tight. “I kept thinking about you. I kept wondering if I’d ever… just see your face again. Even once.”

She leans in slowly and kisses your forehead, staying there for a beat. “Well, now you’re stuck with me.”

A small laugh escapes you, and it feels good. Rusty, but real.

You finally sit up, stretching out your sore limbs, and Natasha follows suit, brushing out her tangled hair with her fingers. You glance at the bed, then at her.

“I think I want to try the bed again tonight.”

She smiles. “I’ll be there, too. We’ll face it together.”

It’s still strange—this new normal, this second chance. But in the quiet morning light, sitting beside her on the hardwood floor with a blanket draped over your shoulders and your heart a little less guarded, it doesn’t feel so impossible.

Not with her.

Not anymore.

The next night, it happens again. You try the bed. Last a little longer. Then move to the floor.

And again, Natasha follows — no questions, no sighs, no trying to coax you back.

The third night, she doesn’t even wait. When you quietly slip down to the floor, she follows moments later with a pillow tucked under her arm.

By the fourth night, you wake up and realize you haven’t moved at all.

You’re in bed. Still in Natasha’s arms. And for the first time since the island, you don’t feel like you have to run from peace.

—

A few months later.

The apartment is lived-in now. There's a plant on the kitchen windowsill that Natasha insists is thriving, even if it leans a little sideways. The couch has a dent where you both usually sit. Red is perched up on the shelf under the TV next to some decorations and framed photos of you and Nat, now forever a part of your life. And you smile every time your eyes land on it. Always a reminder of what you endured.

You’re healing. Not in a straight line, not without setbacks, but with intention. With her.

Some mornings are harder than others. You still wake up drenched in sweat sometimes, heart racing with ghosts. On those days, Natasha doesn’t try to fix it. She just hands you tea, brushes a hand through your hair, and sits close until your breath evens out.

There are good days, too. Days where you wake before her, cook something new, and even laugh freely. Days you catch her looking at you like you’re made of something rare and whole. You still don’t quite believe it, but you try.

You’ve been seeing a therapist SHIELD recommended. You hated it at first—too many questions, too much stillness. But eventually, it became a space you didn’t dread. You’ve started talking about the island, the silence, the routine that kept you sane.

You and Natasha still dance around some things. She hasn’t pushed you for intimacy beyond what you offer. She reads your cues like second nature—holding your hand when you’re overwhelmed, giving you space when your shoulders go rigid, curling beside you in bed when you reach for her without a word.

But it hasn’t been easy.

There was a week when you barely spoke after an argument. She’d gone on a short mission without telling you until the morning of, and you’d panicked, snapped at her, shut down. When she returned, you couldn’t look at her, too afraid of how much you need her. Too afraid of what needing someone means.

It was Natasha who finally broke the silence, sitting beside you on the couch and saying quietly, “You can be mad. I’ll still come back.”

That night, you cried in her arms for the first time in weeks. You hated that it helped. You loved that she held you anyway.

You’ve started working again. Slowly. First from home, reviewing field reports, helping analyze strategies—things that reminded you of who you were. Maria checked in regularly and, once, even told you she missed getting her ass handed to her during briefings. You laughed.

You and Natasha are different now. Not in a way that’s broken, but in the way that time remakes things—gently, with wear and meaning. You cook together more. You argue over whose turn it is to do laundry. You fall asleep facing each other now, not with fear, but with something like trust.

There’s still hesitation in both of you. Moments where your voices lower, not out of secrecy but out of reverence for how fragile things once were. You talk about the future, sometimes in fragments. A trip somewhere quiet. A garden. A place where you both might feel steady.

You're learning how to live again—with her and within yourself. The island isn’t gone. The pain, the scars—physical and not—aren’t either. But the ache isn’t everything anymore.

Love, you’ve learned, isn’t just the reunion. It’s the staying. The choosing.

And every single day, she chooses you.

—

The apartment was quiet one night.

It had been months now. Months of rebuilding, of learning how to be again—how to sleep through the night, how to laugh without guilt, how to let someone reach for you without flinching.

The bad days hadn’t disappeared, but they came fewer and further between. Now, most mornings started with coffee, soft light through the windows, and Natasha wrapped around you in sleepy warmth. Now, you could walk into a room without scanning every exit. Now, the weight on your chest was no longer constant.

And tonight, the stillness didn’t feel like a threat. It felt like rest.

You sat on the couch together, a half-watched movie flickering on mute, both of you tangled under the same blanket, your legs draped over hers. Her fingers lazily traced circles against your calf, like she was touching you just to remember you were real.

You watched her—her profile illuminated by the glow of the screen, soft and calm and so achingly beautiful in that quiet way you’d come to treasure.

You hadn’t said it out loud, not yet.

But it had been on your mind lately. That ring. The one that used to mean someday. The one that had waited carefully in a thin yet resistant chain around both of your necks for years now, quiet and patient.

You shifted a little and leaned your head against her shoulder.

"Hey," you said, voice soft, hesitant but steady.

She turned her head toward you, the question already in her eyes.

You reached for her hand under the blanket, fingers slipping between hers. “Do you ever think about it? The wedding, I mean.”

Natasha blinked. For a second, she didn’t say anything. Then her thumb brushed over your knuckles, slow and thoughtful. “I used to,” she said, almost a whisper. “Every day. When you were gone, I—I’d think about what it would’ve been like. What we lost.”

You leaned into her a little more. “And now?”

Her hand squeezed yours gently. “Now… I think we might be ready.”

You let out a slow breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Yeah?”

She nodded, shifting to face you more fully, her free hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You feel it too, don’t you? That the worst is behind us. Not gone, but… no longer in control.”

You swallowed thickly. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Just didn’t know if I could say it without jinxing it, I guess.”

Natasha’s expression softened, her eyes shining just a little in the low light. “Say it now.”

You looked down at your joined hands. “I want to do it. The wedding. I think… I think I’m finally ready. I feel safe again. With you. With us. I want to stand with you and mean it in front of everyone. I want that day.”

She reached out and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss—gentle, lingering, a promise wrapped in silence.

When she pulled back, her voice was barely more than breath. “Then let’s do it.”

You smiled, your eyes damp, but your heart light. “We waited so long.”

“And I’d wait forever,” she said, pressing her forehead to yours. “But I’m really fucking glad I don’t have to.”

You laughed through your tears, and she kissed you again—this time with more certainty, more heat, and more joy. You curled into her chest, hand tightly holding your ring still proudly on the chain around your neck, heart thudding with a rhythm that felt steady for the first time in years.

And there, in the hush of your shared home, you both knew: it wasn’t just about a wedding. It was about choosing each other, again and again, even when the world fell apart.

And now, finally, you were ready to celebrate that choice.

Together.

It was almost funny how simple it was in the end.

No announcements. No grand gestures. Just two people holding hands on a porch swing, sipping coffee while the sun rose over the Barton farm.

Clint had seen it the second you stepped out of the car with Natasha, your fingers linked, a soft calm in your posture that hadn’t been there before. He didn’t say anything right away. Just gave a knowing smirk, clapped you on the shoulder, and ushered you both inside where Laura was already pulling something out of the oven.

The smell of cinnamon and fresh bread wrapped around you like a blanket. It felt safe there, like nothing bad could happen under that roof. Maybe that’s why you found the words so easily.

“So,” you said slowly, sitting at the long kitchen table with your hands wrapped around a warm mug, “we’re finally going to do it.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Do what?”

Natasha leaned in a little, the corner of her mouth twitching with a smile. “The wedding.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Laura let out a quiet, happy gasp and reached for your hand.

Clint blinked. “For real this time?”

You nodded. “For real. We’re ready.”

Natasha didn’t say anything, but she reached over, laying her hand over yours on the table. That said enough.

Clint leaned back in his chair, folding his arms with a proud grin. “Took you long enough.”

You rolled your eyes with a quiet laugh. “You’re one to talk. You and Laura eloped.”

Laura grinned. “And we regret nothing. But you two? You deserve a day. A real one. Something good.”

You hesitated. “We were thinking… maybe here?”

Clint sat up straighter. “Here? Like—here, here?”

Natasha glanced out the window, eyes softening as they landed on the old barn at the edge of the property. “Yeah. It feels right.”

Laura squeezed your hand. “We’d be honored.”

Clint’s grin only widened. “We’ll string up some lights and clear out the barn. Get the kids to stop shooting arrows for five minutes. It'll be perfect.”

You smiled, something warm blooming in your chest. “Just a few people. Small. Family. Maria, Fury, and the team. Phil, if he’s back from the field. That’s it.”

Natasha leaned her head against your shoulder. “Just us. The ones who stuck through it all.”

Laura stood and kissed Clint on the temple. “Then it’s settled.”

The next few hours passed in a blur of light laughter and soft plans. Talk of fairy lights and music. Maybe Lila could make some signs. Nate would be the ring bearer if he could sit still long enough. There was talk of food, dresses, suits—or not. Just something simple. Something real.

You stepped outside after lunch, barefoot in the grass, the wind soft through your hair. Natasha followed, her hand slipping easily into yours. You stood in front of the barn, weathered wood and high beams, the kind of place where new chapters felt possible.

“This is really happening,” you said, voice quiet.

She turned to you, her eyes bright and steady. “Yeah. It is.”

You smiled, then leaned in, forehead against hers.

And for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you were holding your breath.

The days that followed passed in a gentle rhythm—slower than you'd expected, but full of meaning. No frenzy. No rush. Just two people returning to themselves and to each other.

The dress fittings happened in a softly lit boutique that Maria insisted on renting out for the afternoon. “You deserve this,” she said simply when you protested. “And besides—this’ll be fun.”

And it was.

Natasha stepped out of the dressing room first, hesitant, smoothing her hands down the fabric of the ivory gown. It was elegant and minimal, with a soft sweep of silk and lace. Not overly formal. Not flashy. But it stopped your heart in your chest.

You stared for a moment longer than you meant to. “You’re going to ruin me,” you murmured.

A rare flush crept up her neck. “You like it?”

You crossed the small space to her, brushing a hand down her arm. “I love it.”

She reached up to cup your cheek. “Wait until you try yours on.”

You laughed, but when you returned a few minutes later in your own dress—simple, flowy, perfectly you—Natasha just stared.

She didn’t speak at first. Just looked at you like she was memorizing something holy.

“Say something,” you whispered.

She blinked. “You’re real.”

The next few weeks were filled with quiet preparations. You helped Clint hang fairy lights in the barn while Laura stitched small details into the table linens. Lila painted wooden signs. Even Tony, who initially joked about throwing you a Stark-sponsored blowout, settled into his role of unofficial bartender for the night with only mild grumbling.

Fury didn’t say much when you told him the date—just clapped a hand on your shoulder and said, “It’s about damn time.”

Coulson smiled like he knew this would always be the ending.

And Maria—Maria just hugged you tightly, fiercely, as if she'd carried the weight of hope for both of you all this time. The night before the wedding, you and Natasha sat side by side in bed, each holding a notebook of vows you'd been scribbling in for days.

“Want to hear mine?” she asked quietly.

You nodded, heart thudding softly.

She read aloud words about almost losing you, and you coming back- About how she never stopped carrying you with her, even when she didn't believe in anything else.

You cried before she even finished.

Then, with trembling hands and a steadier voice than you expected, you read her your own. Words about the island. About how you survived and how she had helped you live again when you thought you wouldn't.

“I’m not promising easy,” you told her. “But I am promising you everything. Whatever I’ve got, it’s yours.”

That night, you slept in each other’s arms. And for the first time since you returned, there were no dreams.The morning came soft and slow, light pouring in through the farmhouse window. Natasha left early to get ready in the Barton house, Maria dragging her off with a garment bag and a mischievous wink. You stayed with Laura, sipping tea and letting Lila braid your hair while your dress hung by the window, glowing in the sun.

You should’ve felt nervous. You kind of did. But more than that, you felt… ready.

Whole.

Alive.

The barn had been transformed. The fairy lights flickered above rows of chairs filled with people who loved you. The air smelled like wildflowers and pine. There was music playing—soft, old, familiar.

And then, there she was.

Walking toward you down the aisle, in that same ivory dress, barefoot like you, a tremble in her lips and eyes glassy with tears.

You didn’t remember moving—only that you ended up in front of each other, smiling like the world had finally exhaled.

The vows came easy. No shaking. No fear. Just truth.

Natasha reaches for your hands. She holds them like they might disappear — like she's still, even now, making sure you're real. Her thumbs trace soft circles over your knuckles. Her lips press together for a moment as she breathes in, slowly.

Then she begins.

"I didn’t grow up believing in forever," she says, her voice quiet but sure. "Or softness. Or in anything that lasted. I’ve been a weapon. A shadow. A ghost meant to not be seen." You feel her hands tighten around yours. The crowd is gone, fading into a blur. It's just her. Just this.

"But then there was you. And somehow, you saw through all of it. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t run. You loved me back into a person."Her eyes shine, green and wet with unshed tears. Her voice doesn't tremble. "I thought I lost you. And I would have carried that for the rest of my life. But here you are. Here we are."

She pauses, breathes.

"So I promise — not just to stand beside you, but to grow with you. To fight for the life we've built. To listen even when it’s hard and to speak even when it scares me."

A single tear breaks loose and rolls down her cheek.

"You are the only home I’ve ever believed in. You are the peace I never thought I’d deserve. And you’re the only person I will ever want to spend forever with. So I vow to be yours. Without armor. Without fear. With everything I am."

You take a breath.

You hadn’t expected your hands to shake. But they do. And Natasha, as always, notices. She gives them the smallest squeeze —I'm here.

And you begin.

"I used to believe that surviving was enough," you say, and your voice is soft but strong. "That making it through was the victory. But you, you reminded me that surviving isn't the same as living."

You feel Natasha’s grip tighten again, like her heart is answering yours.

"You brought me home, even when I didn't know how to walk through the door." A few sniffles ripple quietly through the small crowd.

"I promise to keep learning how to live—with you, beside you, for you. I promise to wake up every day and choose this. Choose you. Even when it’s hard. Especially then." Natasha’s lips tremble now, but her smile holds steady, and she looks at you like you’re the center of the universe.

"You are my safest place. My sharpest truth. And the first light I saw after so much darkness. I’m not promising perfection. I’m promising honesty. Growth. Love — always, unshakable, enduring. Quiet when it needs to be. Loud when it matters." You pause. "Whatever I have, whoever I become, it’s yours. Always has been. Always will be."

When the officiant says the words—"You may kiss your wife"—Natasha wastes no time.

Her hands come up to cradle your face as yours curl into the fabric of her dress. The kiss is not rushed, but full. Steady. Like breath coming back after being held for years.

And when you part, the barn is full of quiet cheers and wet eyes and smiles that feel carved from joy.

Clint lets out a loud “Finally!” that breaks the spell just enough to make everyone laugh.

You kissed her like it was the only thing you’d ever wanted to do. And it really was.

And when the music picked up, when the sun dipped and the lights above danced in the wind, when your friends clapped and toasted and swayed—

You held her close under the string lights, her forehead pressed to yours, and whispered,

“We made it.”

Natasha smiled. “We start now. I love you,” she whispers, too quietly for anyone else.

“I love you,” you whisper back and know — without doubt, without fear — that this is only the beginning.

—

The cabin sat at the edge of a lake that shimmered silver in the moonlight. It was small, nestled between tall trees and a quiet sky, wrapped in a hush that seemed to exist just for the two of you. The kind of quiet that made it feel like the world had finally stopped spinning.

It was your first night here.

No one else. No duties. No beeping medical machines. Just Natasha and you. Just soft blankets and the smell of pine and a fireplace crackling low in the hearth. The lake was still. The wind was kind.

Dinner had been quiet — not because there was nothing to say, but because the silence was full of the kind of peace you'd both fought for. Natasha had held your hand across the table, thumb brushing over your wedding ring as if to reassure herself it was really there. You’d done the same.

Now, inside the bedroom, you stood at the window, fingertips resting on the wooden frame, looking out at the dark.

Natasha watched you from across the room. You could feel her gaze, warm and gentle, resting on you like a blanket. She didn’t speak right away. She never rushed you. Not since you came back.

You turned around slowly, and when your eyes met, there was something unsaid in them, something shared. You crossed the room with bare feet and a steady heart. Stood in front of her. Let her take your hand.

“I missed this,” you whispered.

Her hand tightened around yours. “Me too.”

No rush. No sudden movement. She leaned in and kissed you, soft and unhurried, like she had all the time in the world. Her other hand rose to your cheek, anchoring you there, letting you feel it — that you were wanted. Loved. Safe.

You touched her face in return, fingertips featherlight on her jaw, and said, voice barely a breath, “I’m ready.”

Natasha’s eyes flickered with emotion, and she nodded. “Okay.”

And in that word — just okay—were a thousand I love yous.

She helped you out of the soft sweater you’d pulled on earlier. Her hands were reverent and steady, asking with every inch of movement. You nodded when she looked to you for permission, and you undressed her too, slowly and carefully. It was the first time in so long that it hadn’t been out of necessity, or urgency, or desperation — but because you wanted each other. Because your bodies had been through war and survival and time apart, and you were choosing each other again.

She guided you to the bed, and the moment you lay down together, it was like something clicked into place. Natasha’s lips brushed your collarbone, your pulse, and your jaw. Her touch was gentle yet firm, a reminder of the love and passion that had always been between you. As you held each other close, the weight of the world seemed to lift off your shoulders, leaving only the warmth of her body against yours.

She slowly removed your shirt , revealing the scars and memories that marked your skin. But instead of recoiling, Natasha's eyes softened with understanding and acceptance, making you feel truly seen and loved in a way you had never experienced before. With each touch, each kiss, it was clear that this reunion was not just about physical desire but about healing and rebuilding what had been broken. The same followed for the rest of your clothes, each layer shedding away the pain and insecurities that had built up over time. As you stood there vulnerable and exposed, Natasha's embrace felt like a safe haven, a place where you could finally let go and be yourself without fear of judgment.

Her hands trace every curve, every scar, every piece of skin as if it were the first time. Soft, gentle, memorizing every new part of you. Her fingers dipped low from your collarbone, down to the small of your back, leaving a trail of warmth and comfort in their wake. With each touch, it felt as though she was erasing the past and creating a new beginning for you both. Her kisses followed your body from your neck to the valley of your breasts and down to your hips, igniting a fire within you that had long been dormant. In her embrace, you found solace and acceptance, a sense of belonging that you had never experienced before.

Natasha looks up to your face, silently asking for permission to continue exploring the depths of your desires. You meet her gaze with a nod, giving her the go-ahead. One of her hands reaches up for your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers, before she finally leans down to your center.

As she delves deeper into your pleasure, you feel a wave of ecstasy wash over you, surrendering completely to the intimacy of the moment. Natasha's touch is both gentle and confident, guiding you to heights of passion you never knew existed.

There were no words for a while. Just breath, skin, quiet affirmations. You whispered her name like a promise. She said yours like a prayer.

When it was over, and the room was full of warmth and the soft scent of pine and skin and shared love, she held you close, one hand trailing up and down your spine.

“Was it okay?” she asked quietly, her voice husky and a little breathless.

You nodded against her shoulder, then pulled back just enough to look her in the eye.

“It was everything.”

Her lips curved into a soft smile, and she leaned in to kiss you again — slow and deep and grateful.

You fell asleep that way. Skin against skin. Her heartbeat beneath your ear. No more running. No more surviving. Just two hearts, still learning to heal, finally at peace.

Together.

TAGLIST: @womenarehotsstuff @seventeen-x @ctrlaltedits @ciaoooooo111 @unexpected-character @redroomgraduate @natsaffection @cheekysnake @viosblog112 @riyaexee @lilyeyama @idontliketoread2127 @ima-gi--na-tion @sunny-poe @artemisarroxvolkov @hotcocoandonuts @scarletsstarlets @splatashaswife @generalbirdsalad @fxckmiup @yelldontwhisper

#marvel #mcu #reader insert #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow x reader #black widow #castawayseries #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #black widow angst #natasha romanoff x reader angst #black widow x reader angst

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bijoutarot · 5 months ago

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March Love Predictions 💕

Pick An Image ✨

Hello, beautiful souls! Ready to dive into the energy of love this month? Here are your March Love Predictions, based on the powerful energy of the tarot. Each image represents a specific vibe for your love life, whether you're in a relationship or searching for your soulmate. Let the cards guide you through what March has in store! 🌟✨

✨ Image 1: The Star 🌟

This month, you're likely to experience a sense of renewal and hope in your love life. The Star brings healing energy, suggesting that any challenges you've faced in the past are now starting to fade away. Whether you're in a relationship or single, there's a sense of peace and optimism surrounding you. If you’ve felt distant or disconnected from love, The Star signals that you are now aligned with your highest self and ready to embrace the love you deserve. If you're single, a soul connection may appear when you least expect it, bringing deep emotional fulfillment.

Affirmation:

"I attract love and positivity into my life with ease and grace."

The key for March: Stay open to love and trust that the universe is guiding you toward something beautiful. 🌟

✨ Image 2: The Lovers 💑

The Lovers card is all about partnership, harmony, and choices. March is the month where love truly blooms—whether it’s the deepening of a current relationship or an exciting new connection on the horizon. If you're already in a committed relationship, this card suggests that mutual understanding and affection will strengthen your bond. If you're single, you may face an important decision or crossroads in your love life. Someone may come into your life who aligns perfectly with your values and desires, and it may require a decision to be made about what kind of relationship you want moving forward.

Affirmation:

"I trust in my heart's wisdom to guide me to the love I deserve."

The key for March: Stay true to your values and trust that the love you're seeking is aligned with your highest good. 💖

✨ Image 3: The Moon 🌙

The Moon can bring some uncertainty and confusion into your love life this month. Emotions might feel overwhelming, and there may be moments when things seem unclear or even deceptive. This card urges you to trust your intuition—there’s a deeper truth unfolding, even if it’s not immediately apparent. If you’ve been unsure about a relationship or have doubts, this is a time to take a step back and reflect. The truth will reveal itself in time. Don’t let fear or anxiety cloud your judgment; instead, tune into your inner voice for guidance.

Affirmation:

"I embrace the unknown with courage, knowing that clarity is on the horizon."

The key for March: Trust your instincts and allow the process of discovery to unfold. You will gain clarity soon enough. 🌙

✨ Image 4: The Sun 🌞

Here comes the joy and vitality you've been waiting for! The Sun represents happiness, vitality, and fulfillment in all areas of your life, especially love. This card is a very positive sign, indicating that any past challenges in love will soon be behind you, and you're stepping into a period of joy and light. If you're in a relationship, expect moments of deep happiness, playfulness, and mutual growth. If you're single, new love is on the horizon, and it will be filled with warmth and positivity. The Sun tells you that you are worthy of love and that happiness is your birthright.

Affirmation:

"I am worthy of happiness and radiant love, and I welcome it into my life now."

The key for March: Bask in the light of your own energy and radiate love into the world. Your bright, positive energy will attract exactly what you need. 🌞

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etherealwitcherys-blog · 2 months ago

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PICK A CARD: What People Wish They Could Tell You ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

1. 2. 3.

Take a quiet moment to breathe and let your intuition guide you. Look at the three images...which one pulls at your energy or catches your eye first? That’s the pile you’re meant to explore. If you feel drawn to more than one, that’s totally fine. It just means you’ve got multiple messages waiting for you. Dive into whichever speaks to you most!

If you enjoyed this reading, book a personalized paid reading here!

My Masterlist!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Pile 1 - “I wish I knew how to say it all without falling apart.”

Alright, let’s be honest: this person has been carrying what happened between you like it’s a weight pressed against their spine, something they can’t just shrug off. And here’s the thing they’re not quite ready to let go yet. It’s not that they want to stay stuck, but their heart is tangled in the aftermath, still searching for meaning, still trying to make sense of it all. They’re caught in this in-between space where moving forward feels impossible until they can rewrite the story in their mind and find some kind of peace with their role in it.

They wish more than anything they could sit down with you, just the two of you, no barriers, heart in hand, finally speaking the things that never found a voice. The apologies that weigh heavy but are necessary. The truths that felt too fragile to share before. The times they didn’t show up fully, not because they didn’t care, but because they were struggling to hold themselves together. They didn’t know how to be present for themselves, let alone for you. Now, though, they see it clearly, and it hurts in the most honest way.

You were their anchor. The emotional space they couldn’t create on their own amid the chaos. Even when they acted distant, when silence became their shield, and they seemed indifferent, it never meant they stopped caring. It meant they were scared of how deeply it mattered.

There’s a raw indecision inside them, not just about reaching out, but about whether they even deserve to. They crave peace, but they’re terrified that peace might mean fading from your life completely. So they hold back, stuck between hope and fear, wanting to heal what broke but doubting the bridge to you still exists.

Here’s the cosmic insight: Lapis Lazuli is shining bright here, signaling that their third eye is wide open, buzzing with awakened awareness. This isn’t just regret; it’s soul-level grief that sinks deep and aches in their chest. They’re realizing, with a painful clarity, that they mishandled something sacred between you.

If you’ve found yourself waking up at odd hours, heart racing with thoughts of them, it’s no coincidence. That restless energy is alive on both sides, like an unspoken conversation neither knows how to begin. They’re thinking about you, intensely and often, even if they hide it behind silence.

This reading is a reminder: your story isn’t over. The space between you is still charged not just with unresolved pain, but with the potential for healing, if and when the time is right. Sometimes, the hardest part is holding space for someone who hasn’t yet learned to hold space for themselves. Maybe that’s where you are, standing at the edge of what was, what could be, and what’s still quietly unfolding in ways neither of you fully understand.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Pile 2 - “I'm Not The Same Person You Walked Away From."

This energy? It’s huge. Like, ego-shattering, Tower-card-level collapse kind of transformation. The kind that feels like the ground beneath you gave way and the sky cracked open with a thunderous wake-up call. This person? They’ve been through the fire. They stared themselves down in the mirror and finally saw through the illusion they’d been living inside—the one where they pretended everything was fine, where denial was a shield, and truth was too sharp to face. That mirror didn’t just crack—it shattered, and it left them raw, exposed, and somehow open to change in a way they never imagined possible.

What they want you to know? You were the spark. Not in the way you might think, this wasn’t about abandonment or punishment. No, your distance, your silence, the boundaries you held firm they weren’t walls meant to shut them out. They were a mirror, reflecting back truths they weren’t ready to face until now. And that mirror? It burned them. It scorched away the lies they told themselves, forcing them into a reckoning that was as painful as it was necessary.

They’ve learned lessons that run deep now, patience, the kind that grows from falling apart and piecing yourself back together more carefully. Humility, in knowing they don’t have all the answers, and never did. And, most importantly, that love without respect isn’t love at all, it’s just attachment wearing a prettier mask.

Now? They’re trying to move forward differently. Like someone who’s actually done the work, who’s willing to show up with more than empty promises. But the question still haunts them: is it too late? Are the cracks too wide to bridge? They wish with everything inside to demonstrate not just through words, but through steady, genuine action that they understand now. That they aren’t coming back emotionally bankrupt or hollow. That what they offer is real, hard-earned, and whole.

Labradorite appearing here is no accident. You were the mystic in this story, the one with the vision, the intuition, the clarity that they lacked. You held the light when they were still fumbling in the dark. But here’s the wild thing: now they’re beginning to trust their own light. It’s a flicker at first, uncertain, but growing stronger every day. And what they want more than anything? To share that light with you if you’re still willing to see it.

You might notice their energy swirling around you during full moons, or in those moments when you’re reclaiming your power and standing taller in your truth. That’s no coincidence. They’re tuning into your frequency, reaching out across the invisible threads that still connect you, even if the words haven’t been spoken yet.

This isn’t just a story of endings or loss. It’s a story of transformation and the slow, difficult path to something new, something that, maybe one day, could be stronger, wiser, and more alive than before. And if you listen closely, the echoes of their growth are waiting for you to hear them.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Pile 3 - “You Were The Best Thing I Didn't Know How To Hold."

Alright, here’s the real truth you need to hear: this person? When they had you, they weren’t really there not emotionally. They were numb, like their feelings had flatlined long before you came into the picture. This wasn’t about you at all. It was about everything life had already thrown at them; the heartbreaks, the betrayals, the disappointments, that made them shut down, put up walls, and retreat into a place where vulnerability felt impossible.

And then you showed up. You were the softness in their storm, the gentle light cutting through the dark. You were the quiet hope that whispered, “It doesn’t have to stay this way.” But here’s the painful part, they couldn’t hear that whisper. Not yet. Because inside their mind, fear was louder. Fear told them they didn’t deserve kindness, that no one could love them as gently as you did. So instead of rejecting you, they rejected the idea that someone like you could exist in their world.

Now? They’re watching you. Maybe from a distance, scrolling through your social media, hearing your name in conversations, catching glimpses of your energy in the spaces you leave behind. And every time they do, it cuts deep. Because finally, they get it. You were their Star, their guiding light when everything else felt lost. You were the clarity they so desperately needed, the direction that could have led them out of their fog. But back then? They were too trapped in their own darkness to follow.

If they could speak freely, what they’d say is this: You changed me. Even if the two of you never speak again. Even if you’ve walked completely away. They carry you as the turning point in their story, the moment when things could have been different, even if they weren’t ready to believe it at the time.

And here’s where Moonstone comes in, carrying the energy of transcendence, healing, and divine feminine truth. This person is waking up to something powerful: their old ways, their logic, their emotional detachment, didn’t save them at all. Instead, those defenses isolated them further, cutting them off from the very connection they craved. Now, slowly, they’re learning to feel again. To open their heart again. And it’s all because of the imprint you left on their soul.

You might be picking up their energy in unexpected ways, through songs that hit too close to home, vivid dreams where you see them, or moments of déjà vu that make you pause. Those are their soul signals reaching out, calling to you across the silence, even if their voice is still too afraid to break through.

If you enjoyed this reading, book your own personalized in-depth paid reading here!

Thank you so much for sticking with me through the whole reading! This is my first time posting a PAC Reading on Tumblr in this way! I hope what you found here spoke to you and that you enjoyed the experience. If it did, please consider liking and sharing—it truly means the world to me!

I’d love to hear which pile you picked and any thoughts you want to share about the reading. Your feedback is very important to me! If this reading connected with you, you might be interested in exploring one of my paid readings, which also helps support my work! ☺︎

Side Note: Tarot offers guidance based on current energies, feelings, and choices. It points toward possibilities rather than set-in-stone futures. This is a general reading, so trust what feels right for you and leave the rest behind!

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newnlovesjennie · 1 year ago

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i feel i’m falling in love with all my heart

sanji/reader

cws: past abuse

tags: healing, vaginal fingering, gentle kissing, hurt/comfort, fluff, sanji is a sweetheart

summary: your patient boyfriend helps you through your journey of healing, one step at a time.

a/n: this is my first smut, so pleasee go easy on me :D

☆⋆。𖦹✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩°‧★☆⋆。𖦹✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩°‧

slender, pale fingers caress your face, cupping the chub of your cheek while your lover leans in deeper to indulge himself more in the depths of your mouth, the kiss you two share becoming deeper and deeper by the second.

sanji, for all his perverted tendencies, took his absolute time with you when it came to intimacy. he’s still recovering from the fact that you wanted him to be your boyfriend;

and he was no particular stranger to your past, he’d seen the way you tensed up when a certain man’s name was brought up, the way you’d flinch when he made any sudden movements. his heart shattered into a million pieces the moment he saw how guilt ridden and distraught you looked when you asked him at the start of your relationship if it’s okay if the two of you could take it slow, as if you were depriving him of something he was deserved. rest assured, he gave plenty of much needed reassurance that you’d be in complete control this time, that it would all go on your pace.

now, he could feel the two of you falling deeper and deeper into your shared frenzy, your tongue exploring his mouth and his hands had now moved to your waist. you two had been making steady progress in terms of intimacy, but had yet to breach the one, important base.

“can i touch you down there, my love?” sanji asked, breaking the kiss between the two of you. you were lying on your back, head to the headboard, embarrassingly grinding on his thigh. you nodded, diving back in to his kiss, one hand traveling down to remove your underwear.

slow and cautious as ever, he rubbed gentle circles on your clit, his delicate fingers getting to work on indulging the masterpiece that is your pussy. in between moans, soft kisses to your collarbone, and his other hand massaging the plush of your breast, you could feel yourself building up to your orgasm. you shot out your hand to stop his, hard at work at pleasing you.

sanji stilled, worried he’d gone too far, or that you’d start having flashbacks. but instead, you looked up at him with your soft, glossy eyes, and said his name, “sanji….” you panted, “i… i wanna go all the way this time. i-i want you to fuck me, sanji-kun.”

he certainly wasn’t expecting that, and his heart began beating fast at the potential prospect of being buried in you, finally being able to make love to you. another part was, of course, worried, “are you sure, ma chérie?” he asked, concerned on if you’d regret this later.

your hand that stilled his extracted his fingers from your warmth, interlocking your digits and pressing encouraging circles with the pad of your thumb. “i-i’ve been thinking about it for a while…. i’m-i’m ready now.” you said, with the tone of confidence he always loved hearing.

you had yet to delve into the past traumas that plagued you to sanji, but he decided you’d cross that road when you’d gotten there. he trusted you like no other, and accepted that you must have some plan in your head on how to go about all this. “all right, beauty.” sanji said, concealing his excitement about fucking you. this night was about you, more than anything.

“you’re my beloved, (name), and i’ll gladly treasure you until i die”, he breathes out, “any man who does otherwise is a fool and nothing less. you’re a treasure.”

#sanji x reader #one piece #op #black leg sanji #straw hat pirates #sanji x you #one piece sanji #one piece fanfiction #one piece fluff #healing #hurt/comfort #smut #one piece smut #super self indulgent

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auras-moonstone · 2 years ago

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girl, i’m in dire need of some jack angst!! (i know, i’m crazy for wanting my heart to be ripped out by your beautiful writing in the saddest way possible😂)

maybe he and the reader have been dating for a few months and have their first big fight, maybe he’s been a little too close to a girl the reader has been having weird gut feelings about. they break up after some harsh words were said, and a few weeks later the reader sees that he’s dating the girl he told her not to worry about 👀

a few months pass, and jack and the girl break up bc he can’t get over the reader, and he tries to win her back, but soon realises he lost her for good when he sees her ar an event or something with someone else, and it’s clear that they’re more than friends.

(i kinda envision this as actress!reader x jack. and the event could be the oscars + the reader’s new bf could also be an A list celeb)

lyrics that could inspire you:

“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known” - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)

“I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind, Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

thank you so much and i’m sorry if this req is all over the place 😂😂❣️

hii! this might be one of the saddest things i’ve written yet. hope you like it<3

break me like a promise — jack champion

word count: 2,949

pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader, louis partridge x fem!reader (brief).

summary: jack breaks y/n’s heart, and after ten months he is determined to win her back, he sees her being happy with someone else.

author’s note: when i read “readers new bf could be a celeb” i knew i had to include the other love of my life aka louis partridge aka london boy.

Y/N AND JACK HAD MET THROUGH JENNA ORTEGA. The latter and Y/N both worked for Netflix, so they bumped into each other in lots of events and eventually became super close. And, knowing how big of a Scream fan Y/N was, Jenna invited her over to set and that’s where she met Jack.

No one could deny that sparks flew instantly between them, not even the two people involved. And that scared Y/N a bit, because her last relationship had left her with insecurities and trust issues, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive into another relationship.

Jack had been very understanding about it, and told her that they should start as friends. He assured her that he would wait as long as she needed to, that she was worth it. And after months and months of therapy, Y/N finally felt ready to try things with Jack.

They were in a lavender haze for months. Her relationship with Jack was unlike anything Y/N had experienced before. The love she felt for him was so strong that there was no way to put it into words. Jack was her best friend—he had held her hand as she healed, and drew stars around the scars that the previous relationship had left on her. And she never would have thought he was going to be the one who made the wounds bleed again.

Jealousy is often seen as a toxic feeling, and after talking with her shrink about it, Y/N came to a conclusion—the toxicity depends on the way you handle that feeling. So Y/N decided to put her fears on the table, instead of jumping into conclusions. That’s what she thought would be the most healthy thing to do. Jack would be honest with her, and the thoughts that had been eating her alive would disappear.

But as soon as she said the words and saw Jack’s expression of irritation, Y/N knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

“Seriously? I can’t have female friend now” Jack spat furiously.

“What?! Of course you can. That’s not what I’m saying” Y/N said calmly. “I just… she clearly has feelings for you. And I’m not saying you should stop hanging out with her, I just need to know if she’s just a friend to you… or if there is room for more.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’re telling me this.” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Jack, I’m not accusing you of cheating or anything, really. You’ve been spending so much time with her…” more than with me, she wanted to add. But that would make things worse. “and I just have this weird feeling. I need to know how you really feel, that’s it. If you tell me you don’t like her, I’ll believe you. But please be honest with me.”

“What I really feel is that you’re suffocating me with your shitty problems.” his demeanour was so calm, but his words were sharp as knives, and they cut right through her heart. She had trouble believing the words had actually left his mouth. “I’ve waited for you for months, I helped you through all of it. And now you’re making this shit up? Grow up.”

Y/N felt like throwing up. She felt like she was about to spit her heart. “You don’t mean that.” her voice broke. “In all of these months, when have I ever brought up one of your female friends? Not once. Because I know they are only friends. But with her, Jack, I just feel like there is something more. And yes, maybe I’m overthinking, but that’s why I’m asking. That’s it. I’m just asking, Jack.”

“Stop being so fucking paranoid. I get that your ex cheated on you, but stop seeing ghosts everywhere.”

“Why are you being so mean? Why are you avoiding the question? It’s simple, Jack. Do you have feelings for her?” Y/N asked, the knot in her throat grew in size when she noticed he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Jack?”

“We’re just friends, jesus!” he said annoyed. Y/N wanted so bad to play dumb, to pretend she couldn’t see he was lying.

“You know I can read you like a book, right?” she asked softly, sad. “When you lie, you can’t look me in the eyes, you play with your hands and bite the inside of your cheeks.”

“Y/N… fucking drop it. I’m tired of this”

“We are over, Jack” she tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, trapping her in his arms.

He saw the tears steaming down her face and cursed himself. “Shit. No, please. Let’s talk. I’m sorry” he sound like he was about to cry, and Y/N knew she needed to leave. Because even though he had hurt her, the soft spot in her heart was still reserved for him.

“No, let’s just leave it like this because if you keep talking, I’m afraid I might end up resenting you, and I don’t want that.”

“I love you, Y/N” Jack hugged her tightly. “Please let’s fix this. I promise you nothing happened with her, and nothing will.”

“I love you too, but I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore” and so she stepped away for the arms she loved the most in the world and left without glancing back. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.

EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT OF JACK’S HOUSE TWO WEEKS AGO, Y/N HAD BEEN OVERWORKING HERSELF TO AVOID HER THOUGHTS OF JACK CREEPING INTO HER MIND. She had stayed out of social media, and had deleted Jack’s number from her phone to avoid temptations. Her friends kept their eyes on her all the time, worried about the inevitable breakdown. You can only hold back for so long before it becomes too much.

Louis, her co-star, had been by her side as much as he could. And, like every morning, he was waiting for her on her trailer with a caramel macchiato and a shiny grin on his handsome face.

“And a chocolate chip muffin?” Y/N asked, seeing the mouth-watering treat next to her Starbucks drink. “What’s the special occasion?”

Louis stared at her, frowning. Not any indications of having had a break down, not even puffy eyes, which meant one thing—she hadn’t seen the pictures yet. “Nothing” he blurted, showing his charming smile. “Just saw it and had to buy it.”

“You really need to stop buying me these breakfasts, Lou. I’m going to get cavities” Y/N said taking a sip of her overly sweet drink.

“But look at how happy it makes you. Cavities will be worth it, don’t you think?”

“You may have a point. Scoot over” she told him, nudging his leg with her foot. Louis moved his body so that she could sit next to him on the small couch. It was not made for two people, so they were basically pressed against the other, yet they found it comfortable. Especially Louis, whose insides melted because of the closeness between them—his not so tiny crush on her was painfully obvious.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, trying to keep his voice calm as she unlocked her phone.

“I forgot to check which surprise songs Taylor sang last night” she answered as she opened twitter. “Oh god”

“What?!” Louis squealed.

“She sang Cornelia Street and You’re on your own kid! And I wasn’t there, Lou!” she dramatically dropped her head on his chest. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “What is going on with you?” she laughed.

“Nothing. Why?” he laughed awkwardly.

“I don’t know, you’re extra jumpy and panicky today.”

“I’m always jumpy and panicky around you.” he said, trying to brush it off.

“No, you’re not” Y/N furrowed her eyes, locking her phone. Louis eyed the action and his chest relaxed. The girl noticed that, so she unlocked it again and started scrolling through Twitter. On her periphery, she saw the boy’s body tensing again. So it had to do with social media, she guessed. “Louis, I’m not dumb. Tell me what is going on.”

“Nothing” he repeated. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Lou, I love you but you’re getting on my nerves right now. I hate being lied to, you know that.”

Y/N’s vulnerable eyes were his weakness, so he sighed and took her hand in his. “This weekend, some fans caught Jack walking around the city with a girl… and they… um, saw them kissing and holding hands.”

Y/N felt her heart drop, and her eyes started to sting. No. She wasn’t going to cry. She hadn’t let herself cry for two weeks and she was not going to start now. “Oh.”

“Give me your phone” Louis said softly. She was too lost in her own mind to question it, so she just obeyed. “I deleted Tik Tok and Instagram. And silenced any Jack related stuff on Twitter. You don’t need to see those pictures.”

“Louis… the girl… is it her?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice in control.

“Stop” his voice was firm.

“I want to move on, Lou. And for that, I need to know I was right first.” she pleaded. “Is it her?” her friend nodded slowly as he brought her to his chest. Y/N did a little nod too, and tried to stand up. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Y/N…” he grabbed her elbow to push her back.

“Lou, please. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to think about it.” he noticed she was two seconds away to burst into tears. And as much as he knew he would hate the sight of her weeping, it was necessary.

“I know you don’t, Y/N/N, but you have to if you want to move on. You’re never getting over this if you keep ignoring your need to cry.”

“I’m just afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” she confessed, tears starting to blur her vision.

“It feels like that now, but I promise you it’ll be good for you. You have been holding it back for weeks, and once you let it all out, you’ll start to heal” he said as he played with her hair.

“Two weeks… it took him two weeks to go off and date her. And it’s not only some girl… it’s her. He told me I was paranoid, and now he proved me right.”

Jack had promised nothing would happen between him and that girl, and now he broke his promise just like he had broken her heart two weeks ago.

After the realisation, it was like something snapped inside of Y/N, and one sob turned into desperate crying. Her fragile body shook under Louis’ arms, and he wished he could stop her pain. But he couldn’t, so he just stayed there with her holding her as she let it all out.

AS MUCH AS SHE HOPED THE CRYING WOULD EASE THE PAIN, IT DIDN’T. It had been months of being in a rollercoaster of feelings, sometimes she was okay, sometimes she was great and sometimes she was so low not even Louis’ hugs could lift her up.

The days where she didn’t have to shoot were the worst, because she spent hours in bed and her brain betrayed her by bringing the memories of Jack back. She missed him so much, it was completely agonizing. Why?, she asked herself when the room was dark and she couldn’t sleep. Why did he get to move on while she had to spend her days like that? She has been trying to pick up her heart while Jack was all lovey-dovey with the girl he swore was just his friend.

Jack continued her life without her, while Y/N woke up everyday with his memory over her. She longed for the picture of Jack’s dazzling smile to be gone from her mind. She prayed to forget the sound of his voice as he whispered the sweetest of things on her ear. She wished she could stop hearing his angelic laugh everywhere. She wanted to stop feeling the ghost of his touch against her skin. To forget that his lips were soft and that every time they were pressed against hers she could feel goosebumps all over her body. Y/N just wanted to stop being haunted by the memories of Jack.

Louis had slowly helped her through the process of moving on. He was there to offer his warmth when the wrenching thoughts triggered the waves of tears, and he was also there to make her break a smile once the sobbing stopped.

After eight months, the flood of her tears successfully carried away the thoughts of Jack, and Y/N knew she was finally clean. Not that she didn’t miss him, because Jack was her first love after all, and a small part of her would always love him.

It took her a few more months to be sure if she was ready to risk it again, but Louis’ sweet disposition, how he saw the best in her even in her worst times, showed her that he was worth it. And so she she watched it began again with him.

JACK AND THE GIRL LASTED FOR TWO MONTHS. He never intended to have something with her, but she was interested and he was lonely and sad, so he said yes. But reality crept in soon—he loved Y/N with all his heart and no matter who he was with, his thoughts would always go back to her.

He had been texting her for months, but she had blocked his number. He knew he could easily drive to her house, but he didn’t want to add salt to the multiple wounds he had inflicted on her, it would be selfish. So when Jack saw that Avatar 4 and Y/N’s drama film were both nominated for the Oscars, he knew it was his chance to make things right. To bring back the only real thing he had ever known.

But he didn’t plan on seeing her with someone else. And he knew they weren’t there together just as co-stars, they were each other’s date. The spark in Y/N’s eyes when she looked at Louis was familiar to Jack—it was the way they used to shine just for him. Jack had been the one to extinguish the spark on her eyes, and Louis had managed to light them up again.

And he wasn’t even mad or jealous. He actually felt happy and sad. Jack didn’t understand how it was possible for two opposite feelings to co-exist in his body at the same time. He realized it was a lost battle, yet he needed to do talk to her. For the sake of their once marvellous relationship.

Y/N got out of the bathroom and into the crowded room, but the thousands of people in it became blurry once she recognized the silhouette of a handsome tall boy leaning against the entrance. “Jack?” his name left her lips in a mix of anguish and surprise.

“Hey” he said softly. You look beautiful, he wanted to add, but restrained himself. “I wanted to talk to you.” Jack saw her grimace and continued before she could stop him. “I know. I know it’s the last thing you want, I just need to get this off my chest. You’re not paranoid or insecure. You never overwhelmed me with your problems. You were right, and I was a shitty boyfriend, friend and person, and you have been so amazing and patient… and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never deserved your love.”

“You did… up until that night.” she said in all honesty. “I loved you so much, and then you said all of those things. I can’t forget about it, because I never expected those words to come out of your mouth.”

“I know, and I really don’t expect you to forgive me. It’s okay and understandable if you don’t, but I needed you to know that those things I said weren’t true at all.” Jack said, pressing his lips in a thin line. “To be honest, I came here with the mind set of trying to win you back” he confessed, and let out a little laugh, as if the idea was now ridiculous. “But I saw you with him and I know that I’ve lost you for good. Are you happy with him?”

Y/N saw his deep brown eyes starting to get glossy and her insides melted. She didn’t see him with romantic eyes anymore, but it didn’t mean the love was gone. She still cared for him with every bone in her body. “I am. He’s amazing.”

Jack smiled. Genuinely smiled, so widely that it made a few tears drop, and before she knew it, Y/N’s cheeks were wet too. “That’s great, Y/N/N. Really great. I’m happy for you.”

And that was the moment Y/N knew Jack honestly regretted the words he had said before their breakup. “I forgive you.”

The tall boy’s eyes widened “What?”

“I forgive you.” she repeated. “And you deserve to be happy too, okay?”

“Thank you” Jack said breathlessly, wiping away the tears.

“I need to go. But it was nice to see you, thank you for coming to talk to me. For real. I really needed that, I think we both needed that.”

And so they both smiled to each other one last time before parting ways. There was nothing left to say, staying friends had never been an option with them. They loved each other too much for that. When it came to Y/N and Jack, it was everything or nothing at all.

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yunaversalluv · 2 months ago

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FOR MY LOVELY @valeisaslut HERE IS THE PART 2 EPILOUGE DEEP-DIVE ( THIS IS PART ONE OF THIS DEEP - DIVE CAUSE IT WAS TOO BIG FOR TUMBLR)

THIS DEEP-DIVE IS BASED OFF OF THE VERY BEGGINNING SCENE OF PART 2 OF THE EPILOGUE WITH A VERY NOT IN A GOOD PLACE ELLIE AND JOEL ENJOY!!

PART I: SUBTEXT & PSYCHOLOGICAL DYNAMICS

- Ellie’s Inertia = Psychological Shutdown

Her slack arms. Her refusal to hug back. Her body language is nonverbal trauma. She's not rejecting Joel out of hatred, but out of a lack of emotional energy. She’s depleted. This is catatonia in spirit — her system has moved into survival mode, and emotional connection has become a threat.

“Didn’t curl around him.” → She couldn’t. She’s unresponsive because touch is too intimate, too dangerous. But…

“Didn’t pull away either.” → The core of her hasn’t died. There’s still a thread of want. A thread of memory.

Psychological Parallel: This moment reads like a PTSD freeze response. Her lack of motion is not indifference. It’s paralysis.

- Joel = Stability vs. Regret

Joel represents constant, grounding love — but he’s not perfect. His past failures are implied in every sentence.

“They said you were disappearing.” — Joel didn’t act on instinct. He was alerted, which implies distance and guilt.

“I’ll stay until you’re ready.” — He’s not here to save her for himself. He’s here because he’s reached a moral brink. Love as responsibility.

Fatherhood Arc: Joel’s presence is late, but it’s no less fierce. This is a man begging for a second chance to not make the same mistake twice. Not just for Ellie’s sake — but for his soul.

PART II: SYMBOLS & RESONANT IMAGERY

- Heartbeat = Survival Machine

“It didn’t feel alive. It felt mechanical—like a rusted engine.”

This is not poetic fluff. It’s medical, metaphorical, and mechanical. Her body is still working, but she is gone.

“Mechanical” = Disconnection between body and mind.

“Rusted engine” = Long-neglected internal machinery. Ellie hasn’t just stopped feeling; she’s corroding.

Symbolism Layer: Her heart isn’t gone. It’s just in need of repair.

- Zipper = Control

“The zipper jammed halfway.”

The act of trying to zip the hoodie becomes an emotional metaphor:

Half-zipped = Incomplete emotional state.

Jammed zipper = Emotional blockage. She wants to shield herself, but can’t.

Hoodie from Jesse = Memory of a time she felt safe.

This is micro-symbolism at its best — tiny action, massive implication.

- Ghostprint on Joel’s Chest

“Her palms left a ghostprint.”

This moment is cinematic. It’s tactile memory — like grief you can touch. It isn’t just that she touched him; it’s that she left a residue. The ache lingers physically.

Symbolism Layer:

“Ghost” = Haunting. Ellie is already becoming someone he’s mourning.

“Print” = Proof. Despite the rage, she connected.

ART III: THEMATIC CURRENTS & NARRATIVE INFLECTION

- Not a Rescue — A Reluctant Exodus

Ellie’s decision to leave is not an act of hope. It’s an act of surrender. You portray this beautifully — she follows Joel not because she wants to live, but because she can’t afford to stay.

This aligns with the core truth of trauma recovery: people don’t heal because they’re inspired. They heal because not healing will kill them.

“She either stepped through that door—or died.”

That line is thesis-level. It cements that her choice isn’t free will. It’s a last breath.

- Found Family Holding the Ashes

The reunion with Jesse and Dina is a second climax — emotionally quieter, but devastating.

No dramatics. Just presence.

Their silence is louder than any forgiveness.

It acknowledges that the band is gone, but the people remain.

“They had stood shoulder to shoulder beneath lights so blinding, they mistook the heat for forever.”

That line should be printed and framed. It’s everything about fame, youth, and burnout.

“Mistook each other for unbreakable.” → This is why we grieve broken friendships harder than broken dreams.

- Final Lines = Elegy for the Dream

“The tour was over. The music had stopped.”

The cadence of these sentences mimics a eulogy. You’re not just ending a chapter; you’re mourning a cultural myth — that art and love and talent can save you. That youth is invincible. That the dream doesn’t have a price.

“The dream—that impossible, holy, feral dream—had burned to ashes.”

That sentence is cathedral-level. It's savage. It's holy. It's true.

PART IV: LITERARY PARALLELS & GENRE CONTEXT

Structurally reminiscent of:

The Last of Us Part II’s post-trauma tone

Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son (survival in addiction)

Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag (brutal emotional economy)

Emotionally parallel to:

Bo Burnham’s Inside

The ending of A Star Is Born

Taylor Swift’s This Is Me Trying

Musically framed trauma fiction isn’t common in fan works at this depth — this scene feels like if Florence Welch wrote a stage play. Guttural. Uncompromising.

BRB POSTING THE SECOND PART TO THIS RN!!

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mysticinsightstarot · 9 months ago

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🧡 PAC : WHAT'S NOVEMBER HAS IN STORE FOR YOU 🧡

✨✨ Welcome to Your November 2024 Pick-a-Card Reading! ✨✨

Hey there, lovelies! 🌼 Are you ready to uncover what November has in store for you? This pick-a-card reading is designed to give you insight into the opportunities, challenges, and transformations waiting for you in the upcoming month. 🎉

Before you dive in, make sure to check out my pinned post about my website, where I offer detailed paid readings! As you know, my free readings have been super in-depth, so you can trust that the paid ones will also deliver amazing insights you won't want to miss! 💖✨

How to Pick Your Pile:

Take a Deep Breath: Center yourself and clear your mind. Think about what you’re seeking guidance on for November.

Choose Intuitively: Look at the four piles represented by unique themes (Autumn Leaves, Cozy Blanket, Candle Light, and Warm Drink) and pick the one that resonates with you the most. Trust your instincts! 🌟

Read Your Cards: Once you’ve chosen your pile, scroll down to find your reading!

Let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery together! I’m excited to see what messages the universe has for you! 🌈✨

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Pile 1 > Pile 2

Pile 3 > Pile 4

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Hey, Pile 1! 🌙✨ Oh, wow – November is looking like a rollercoaster of emotions, healing, and some good ol' self-discovery for you! Buckle up and get cozy – this forecast has layers. I can feel that "Rock With You" by SEVENTEEN vibe coming through hard here, so let’s dive into what’s coming your way. 🎶💃

Card 1 - Theme of the Month: Page of Cups

November’s vibe for you? Playful and curious, with a twist of innocence. The Page of Cups is all about going with the flow of emotions, embracing creativity, and getting in touch with that soft side of yourself. This month is calling you to let your heart guide you, even if it feels a bit vulnerable. You might get unexpected messages or even a little crush that gives you butterflies! 🦋 Let your inner dreamer take the lead – the universe is sending you little heart-flutters for a reason!

Card 2 - Opportunities: 9 of Swords, 6 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands

A wild mix here! The 9 of Swords shows there’s been some anxiety hanging around, possibly lingering from October – sleepless nights, overthinking, the whole shebang. BUT here’s the beauty of November: the 6 of Wands is stepping in, hinting that you’re finally overcoming this slump. Victory is around the corner! 🏆 Even if you’re feeling that pinch (5 of Pentacles), this month brings a chance to release the burdens (10 of Wands) weighing you down. So, expect a breakthrough – it’s time to walk out of the shadows and into your power. 🌞

Card 3 - Challenges: 5 of Wands

Ah, the 5 of Wands! Tension and conflict could pop up, either with others or within yourself. This could look like minor squabbles, or maybe just feeling off around certain people. Think of it like friction – necessary to spark growth, but uncomfortable. 🔥 The key here is to not let petty fights drain you. Stay grounded, don’t get caught in the drama, and remember that your peace is priceless. Your energy is sacred, babe! 💫

Card 4 - Advice: 2 of Wands

It’s time to look at the bigger picture. The 2 of Wands is urging you to map out your next steps, but don’t rush it. Contemplate your long-term dreams and goals. If November has you feeling pulled in two directions, take a step back, plan thoughtfully, and trust that you're moving in the right direction. 🌍 Maybe you’re craving a change or adventure – explore those desires! Let your imagination run wild but stay strategic. 🧭

Card 5 - Outcome or Surprise: Moon, Knight of Cups, Hanged Man

Ooo, mystery vibes! The Moon hints that there’s something under the surface – something yet to be revealed. Paired with the Knight of Cups, this could mean an emotional offer or someone romantic entering your life. 😏💖 But with the Hanged Man, it’s likely something that needs patience. Embrace the unknown and take things slow. Expect an emotional awakening or a surprising “aha!” moment that shifts your perspective by month’s end.

Bottom of the Deck - The Devil

Mmm, temptations or old habits might try to pull you back. Whether it’s overindulgence, past fears, or self-doubt, the Devil is reminding you to stay conscious of what holds you back. This month is all about reclaiming your power. 🔥🤘 Free yourself from the chains of the past and remember – you’ve got the strength to break through anything!

Closing Vibes

November’s journey might feel a bit like “Rock With You” – intense but exciting. You'll be dealing with some past shadows, but the chance to rise above is all yours. This month is nudging you to take charge, dream big, and let your heart lead. Trust in the process, cutie pie, because you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. ✨ Let me know if you feel those November energies coming alive for you already! 🎶🍂

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✨✨ Pile 2: What’s Coming to You in November 2024! ✨✨

Hey, Cutie Pie! 🥰 You’ve picked Pile 2 with the Cozy Blanket energy, and it’s bringing some intriguing vibes for November! Let’s dive into your reading, shall we? Grab your favorite warm drink ☕ and let’s unwrap the tarot messages like the cozy little gift they are!

Card 1: Theme of the Month - Temperance 🌈

November is all about balance and moderation for you! The Temperance card is like the universe saying, “Chill out, Cutie Pie!” It’s a month to blend different aspects of your life harmoniously. Think of it as finding your perfect recipe – mixing just the right amount of ingredients to create something beautiful! You might find yourself drawn to new hobbies or practices that bring peace and calm into your life.

Vibe Check: It’s about flow, so go with the current instead of forcing things! 🌊

Card 2: Opportunities - The Fool, 9 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles 🌱

Get ready for fresh starts and perseverance! The Fool signals exciting new beginnings, perhaps a leap into the unknown that fills you with joy! 🥳 The 9 of Wands reminds you to stay resilient, even when things get tough. You’ve been through the grind, and now is your time to reflect on how far you’ve come with the 7 of Pentacles. This trio suggests that your hard work is about to pay off, and new adventures are on the horizon.

Vibe Check: Embrace your inner adventurer, but don’t forget to take a breather and appreciate your growth! 🌟

Card 3: Challenges - 7 of Swords, Page of Pentacles 🧐

Watch out for sneaky energy this month! The 7 of Swords might bring some tricky situations or people trying to pull the wool over your eyes. Stay sharp! The Page of Pentacles calls for you to remain grounded and focused on your goals. This combo is a reminder to stay honest and authentic in your dealings and keep your ambitions in sight.

Vibe Check: Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to ask questions! 🤔

Card 4: Advice - 3 of Wands 🌍

Your future looks bright, so keep looking ahead! The 3 of Wands encourages you to be optimistic and expand your horizons. Whether it’s travel plans or new projects, November invites you to explore new territories! Trust that your efforts are aligning perfectly with your desires.

Vibe Check: It’s time to cast your vision wide – what do you want to achieve? ✨

Card 5: Outcome or Surprise - King of Cups 💖

Emotional maturity and compassion are headed your way! The King of Cups embodies emotional wisdom and balance. Expect supportive relationships to flourish in November. This card suggests that you or someone in your circle will embody this nurturing energy, leading to deeper connections and understanding.

Vibe Check: Lean into those heartfelt moments, and let your intuition guide you! 💫

Bottom of the Deck - King of Swords 🧠

This adds a layer of intellect and clarity to your month! The King of Swords suggests that using logic and clear communication will be key. It’s a great reminder to balance your heart (King of Cups) with your mind (King of Swords) for a harmonious month!

Channeled Song: "Power of Love" by SEVENTEEN

This song brings a beautiful energy of strength and support, perfectly aligning with your reading! The theme of love’s power fits beautifully with the emotional maturity and balance you’re bringing into November.

So, Cutie Pie, get ready for a month filled with possibilities, growth, and warm connections! Remember to navigate with your heart and mind in sync, and you’ll sail through November like a pro! 🌟

Let me know how this resonates with you, and if you have any questions! Sending you all the cozy vibes! 💖✨

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Hey Cutie Pie! 🌟

Let’s dive into what November 2024 has in store for you with Pile 3! I pulled some cards that give a colorful glimpse into the month, and I’m super excited to share this with you! The song I channeled for this reading is "Hot" by SEVENTEEN, which perfectly captures the fiery energy of what’s coming your way. 🔥✨

Card 1: Theme of the Month (7 of Wands & 8 of Wands)

You’re stepping into November with a warrior spirit! 💪 The 7 of Wands suggests that you may feel the need to defend your position or beliefs, standing your ground against any challenges that come your way. But don’t worry! The 8 of Wands adds a burst of energy, indicating rapid progress and exciting developments. Expect communication to flow swiftly – opportunities might come knocking at your door before you even realize it! 📩

Card 2: Opportunities (Knight of Cups & Queen of Pentacles)

Ooh la la, Cutie Pie! Your heart is in for a treat! The Knight of Cups indicates that you might receive a romantic or emotionally fulfilling offer this month. Whether it’s a new connection or deepening an existing relationship, your heart will be fluttering! 💖 Paired with the Queen of Pentacles, it suggests that this opportunity comes with stability and nurturing energy, perhaps from someone who embodies that comforting, grounded vibe. It’s like finding the perfect balance between romance and practicality – just like a cozy blanket on a chilly evening! 🧣✨

Card 3: Challenges (Temperance)

Balance is the name of the game! The Temperance card is a gentle reminder to find harmony in your life amidst the whirlwind of activities. You might feel pulled in different directions, but this is a cue to blend your energies and seek moderation. 🌈✨ Make time for self-care and reflection – a little mindfulness goes a long way, especially when things get a bit too heated (just like our song!).

Card 4: Advice (Justice, Hermit, Knight of Swords, & 3 of Pentacles)

Your advice this month is all about collaboration and introspection. Justice suggests that you should stay true to your values and be fair in your dealings. It’s about finding clarity and making choices that reflect your integrity. The Hermit encourages you to take time to reflect on what truly matters to you, while the Knight of Swords pushes you to communicate your thoughts and ideas assertively. Team up with others (hello, 3 of Pentacles!), as collaboration will lead you to create something beautiful together! 🤝✨

Card 5: Outcome or Surprise (7 of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 2 of Cups, 10 of Cups, Hierophant, King of Swords)

Now here’s where it gets really juicy! The 7 of Pentacles indicates that your hard work will pay off, leading to a feeling of accomplishment. The Queen of Wands shines with confidence and charisma – you’ll be radiating that magnetic energy! The 2 of Cups hints at deepening connections, possibly a new romantic partnership that fills your heart with joy! 💞 As we wrap up the month, the 10 of Cups brings that beautiful sense of emotional fulfillment and family harmony. The Hierophant suggests that this may lead to a more traditional or committed phase in your relationships, while the King of Swords encourages you to approach situations with clarity and intelligence. 📚🧠

Bottom of the Deck: Ace of Swords

This card is like the cherry on top! The Ace of Swords indicates new ideas, clarity, and breakthroughs. Get ready for a fresh perspective and a chance to communicate your truths with confidence! Your thoughts are sharper than ever, and this clarity will guide you through November’s adventures! 🗡️✨

So, Cutie Pie, get ready for a thrilling November filled with love, self-discovery, and exciting opportunities! Embrace the warmth of these energies, and don’t forget to balance your heart with your mind. 🌟💖

If you have any questions about this reading or want to dive deeper into any specific aspect, feel free to ask!

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✨ Pile 4: What’s Coming to You in November 2024 ✨

Hey, Cutie Pie! 🌼 It’s time to dive into your tarot spread for November! As I shuffle the cards, I can already feel the energy shifting, and I’m excited to share what’s coming your way. Let’s break it down in true Tumblr style, with lots of quirky details and emoji flair! 🎉

1. Theme of the Month: The Magician 🎩✨

This November, the theme for you is all about manifestation and using your skills to create the life you want. You’ve got the power to make things happen! Think of yourself as the ultimate magician, ready to pull opportunities out of your hat. ✨ Whether it’s starting a new project, getting that promotion, or sparking a new romance, the universe is your stage, and you’re the star! 🌟

2. Opportunities: 9 of Pentacles 💎🌺

Opulence and self-sufficiency are knocking at your door! This card signifies enjoying the fruits of your labor. November is a month where you’ll feel secure and accomplished, maybe even splurging a bit on yourself (you deserve it!). Whether it’s a cozy day in a cute café or treating yourself to that outfit you’ve had your eye on, the universe is telling you it’s okay to indulge. 🍰👗

3. Challenges: 10 of Cups, Queen of Wands, 2 of Cups 🌈💖

Now, here’s where it gets juicy! The combination of these cards indicates emotional fulfillment might come with some challenges. There could be a sense of pressure to maintain harmony in relationships or to live up to the ideal of happiness you envision. The Queen of Wands urges you to harness your inner fire and confidence, while the 2 of Cups suggests that partnership dynamics could be tested. Don’t shy away from open conversations – they’re key to overcoming any emotional hurdles. 🌻🔥

4. Advice: The Hanged Man 🧘‍♀️✨

Take a moment to pause and reflect. The Hanged Man encourages you to look at things from a different perspective. It’s okay to slow down and contemplate your next move. This November, patience will be your ally. Don’t rush into decisions; instead, embrace the stillness. Sometimes, the best insights come when you least expect them! 🕊️

5. Outcome or Surprise: Knight of Pentacles, Death, 8 of Pentacles, Fool, World 🌍🌈

Wow, what a powerful lineup! The Knight of Pentacles brings steadiness and dedication; you’re committed to your growth. The Death card signifies transformation – it’s time to let go of the old to make way for the new. This is complemented by the 8 of Pentacles, which highlights hard work and mastery. You’ll be putting in the effort, and it will pay off!

The Fool and the World at the end are like the universe giving you a standing ovation! 🌟 You’re stepping into a new phase, filled with possibilities. It’s an exciting new journey, with the world at your feet. Embrace it wholeheartedly! 💖

Bottom of the Deck: 5 of Swords ⚔️💔

This card is a gentle reminder to be wary of conflicts or mental struggles. While you're manifesting and moving forward, stay clear of any drama or toxic situations. Protect your peace, Cutie Pie! ✌️💖

Channeled Song: "Maestro" (Orchestra Version) by SVT 🎶🎻 This song reflects the orchestration of your life – every note is important, and you’re the maestro! Let this melody inspire you to embrace your role in creating harmony in your life.

November is shaping up to be a transformative and empowering month for you! Remember to embrace your magic, nurture your relationships, and trust the process. If you need further guidance or want to chat about anything else, just let me know! 🌼✨

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🌈✨ That’s a Wrap! ✨🌈

I hope you all enjoyed your November pick-a-card reading as much as I enjoyed creating it for you! 🌼 Remember, the messages you received are here to guide you, so carry them with you into the month ahead.

If you found this reading helpful, please consider following, liking, and reblogging this post! Your support means the world to me and helps spread the positive vibes! 💖

To claim your pile, drop a 🌈 emoji in the comments below! Let’s see which pile resonated with you the most!

Thank you for being part of this journey, and I can’t wait to share more insights with you soon! 💫✨

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awkward-anxiety · 4 months ago

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Hey there! My name’s Teddy! I'm 23 and looking for a long-term, detailed roleplay partner who loves angst, slow-burn romance, and deep character development. If you're all about in-depth storytelling, emotional intensity, and exploring characters in unique ways, we’ll get along GREAT!

✨ A Little About Me:

Been RPing since I was 17, starting on Amino and later Discord. Took a small break last year, but I’m back and ready to create epic stories!

I value quality over quantity- I don’t need 1,000-word responses, but I love exploring characters and their development.

I’m all about found family dynamics, emotional arcs, and intense, plot-driven stories. If that sounds like your vibe, we’ll mesh well!

Pronouns? I’m a multi-pronoun mystery, He/They/She/It/We, whatever feels right. 🌈💫 I’m also genderqueer and genderfluid, just in case you need to know for character interactions.

I’m a proud film graduate and a digital artist. so, brace yourselves for some wild visuals! 🎨✨

🎭 EPIC: The Musical RP 🎭 We’re diving into the world of EPIC: The Musical, a roleplay universe where gods, heroes, and mortals alike belt out powerful songs, filled with emotional highs and lows. Whether it’s battling divine forces, navigating slow-burn romances, or dealing with the angst of tragic pasts, this musical setting takes us through a whirlwind of drama, raw emotions, and heart-stopping tunes.

💖 Looking for Characters & Ships: I’m obsessed with the following ships and dynamics from mythology, especially with those emotionally charged arcs. Feel free to hit me up if any of these spark your interest!

Odysseus x Polites

Odysseus x Penelope x Polites

Odysseus x Hermes

Odysseus x Eurylochus x Polites

Hermesias

Telemachus & Odysseus (PLATONIC Father and Son roleplay)

(OdyPen is my OTP for this Fandom but I very much prefer MxM dynamics.)

These characters are so much more than just heroes or gods—they’ve got deep emotions and complicated relationships that will make the musical moments even more powerful. From high notes of triumph to heartbreaking ballads, the dynamic range is endless!

🎭 I’m Happy to Main:

Apollo

Hermes

Odysseus

Polites

Telemachus

If you’re interested in any of these characters, I’d be more than happy to take them on for the roleplay! I’ve got a ton of headcanons and ideas to explore with each of them, and I’m really looking forward to diving deep into their emotional arcs in this musical world.

🎭 Plot Ideas I’m Into: I love character-driven plots, so I’m down for brainstorming something epic and emotionally intense. Here are a few ideas:

Post-Storyline AUs – Continuing after a major event or years later. The songs reflect the journeys they’ve endured.

One Stayed, One Left – One character moved away, and they reconnect years later, with new musical numbers that reveal their emotional growth.

Foster Care AU – One character, jaded and angry, opens up with the help of the other, with vulnerable songs of heartache and healing.

Summer Camp Counselors – Unexpected connections at a summer camp, leading to feel-good numbers with some dramatic moments!

Artist x Theater Kid – Opposites attract in an artsy, chaotic way with a musical theater twist.

College AU – New beginnings, friendships, and navigating life with a coming-of-age soundtrack.

Group Therapy AU – Characters meet while working through personal struggles, with emotional, gut-wrenching solos and duets.

Modern AU- Pretty Self Explainatory

🔄 Open to New Ideas! I am VERY open to new ideas and storylines from a roleplay partner! If you’ve got a plot or character dynamic in mind that isn’t listed here, let’s talk! I’m all about brainstorming and bringing new, creative elements into our stories. Let’s make something unique together that we both enjoy!

⚠️ Boundaries & Triggers: I love writing angst, but there are a few things I’m not comfortable with:

No excessive gore/violence or gun-related topics—I’m uncomfortable with these.

No car crashes or hospital settings—it’s a personal trigger.

I prefer realistic character development for darker themes (e.g., depression, suicidal ideation).

18+ RP and Adult Content:

I prefer roleplay partners to be 18+

I’m open to more adult content in the roleplay, but it must be discussed first. Consent and communication are key for me, and I want to make sure we’re both comfortable with the direction we go in.

📌 RP Preferences:

Canon characters only – I love using established characters (side OCs can be discussed).

Third-person only – Let’s keep it professional and immersive!

No script-style RP – I prefer full sentences, no asterisks or “hfjskdj” in dialogue.

For romance, characters should be 17+, and 18+ for NSFW content.

I match responses but prefer semi-lit to literate replies.

📩 Interested? Let’s Chat! 📩 If you’re vibing with this EPIC: The Musical universe, where gods, heroes, and mortals sing their hearts out while battling emotions, feel free to DM me on Discord (@awkward_anxiety)! I love brainstorming and chatting OOC, so don’t hesitate to reach out. Let’s make some musical magic together! 🎶✨

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whumpdoyoumean · 10 months ago

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Whumptober #5

A/N: These are my OCs. Ira is a bounty hunter. Leo is a cowboy, and also a mage.

xxx healing salve

"Get down!" Leo puts his arm over Ira, shoving him to the ground and then diving to the dirt himself, just as the first shot rings out.

"Damn!" Ira hisses, reaching for his gun.

Leo would be doing the same, except that his body feels cold and strange, arms leaden, fingers shaking and unsure. His stomach sinks.

"See that big boulder just up the ridge?" Ira says, voice low. "That'll give us better cover. Be ready to move."

Leo doesn't respond. Something is wrong. He's starting to feel it.

"You listening to me, kid?" There's an edge to Ira's voice now, frustration lacing his words. "Dammit, I said--" He turns, and his eyes widen, face going pale as another shot cracks through the air. "Shit."

"I..." It's hard to speak, or think even. "I think...Think 've been..."

"Yeah," Ira says. "You hush now, save your energy. Just stay put, I'm gonna find this bastard and take 'im down. Won't take more'n a second. Hang in there. And stay down."

Leo doesn't want him to leave. Doesn't want to be left here all alone, bleeding all over the long, dried pine needles that cover the forest floor. But the pain is building in intensity, and it steals the breath from his lungs, and with it his voice. There's nothing he can do but watch as the bounty hunter disappears and leaves him.

The initial shock begins to wear off, and Leo knows he can't just lie here. He has to work up the courage to try and sit up. For someone who regularly draws his own blood for ritual spells, he's rather pain averse, and this pain is like nothing he's ever felt—deep and gnawing and relentless. It's everything he has not to cry out when he finally levers himself into a sitting position. He moves slowly, but the hole in his sides protests anyway, loudly. The bullet entered the meat above his left hip. He can't tell if it's still in there or not. He hopes not, but bullets—the kind that aren't enchanted, anyway—are unpredictable.

He'd just as soon not be hit by another one.

Which means it's not in his best interest to try and stand. His satchel is still with the horses, and he knows he's not going to be able to crawl all the way back to them. He'll have to make due with what he has. The small bag he keeps with him has clean strips of linen, and he's sure he saw yarrow growing somewhere nearby. He looks around, scanning the foliage for the familiar yellow-orange flowers.

There. A few yards away, near the treeline. He just has to get there...It's not far. He can do this. He claps a hand to his side, tight as he can stand to, and starts to crawl. A volley of shots breaks out, and he stops moving. After a moment, he realizes he can hear two distinct weapons – the rifle that had shot him, and Ira's pistols. Which means the shooter's attention is elsewhere. His vision goes dark at the edges when he starts moving again, the world tilting beneath him, but he forces himself to keep going. His breath comes in short bursts as inches his way forward.

Nearly there.

Just a little further...

His heart is hammering by the time he gets there, pounding as if he's run a mile, not crawled fifteen feet. He grabs a handful of leaves from the yarrow plants, shoving them in his mouth and chewing before he's even caught his breath. He's going to have to turn onto his back in order to get at the wound. It's gonna hurt, and he knows it.

"To hell with it," he finally murmurs around the mouthful of leaves, and he pushes himself up and to the right, landing on his back with a groan. He just lays there a second, waiting for the agony to pass and his vision to return.

There hasn't been any gunfire in a long time. The fight seems to be over which means someone has won. And someone has lost.

He hopes Ira is okay.

His fingers tremble as he tugs his shirt out of his pants and lifts it away from the bleeding, ragged hole. He's in a lot of pain already, but this next part...But it will help. He has to do it. He reaches up and takes the glob of crushed plant matter out of his mouth. And, before he can talk himself out of it, he presses it into the wound.

He barely has time to scream before he loses consciousness.

xxx

#whumptober2024 #no.5 #healing salve #original content #oc #shot #whumptober #oc whump #my writing #whump

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lofisoultea · 3 months ago

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🎤Fangirl Fridays: Love Live!🎤

If you've ever dreamed of chasing your passions, forming unbreakable friendships, or standing on a stage filled with lights and music, then Love Live! might just be your next favorite obsession.

Today for Fangirl Friday, I'm diving into the colorful, emotional, and endlessly inspiring world of Love Live! - the anime series that stole my heart and refused to give it back.

What is Love Live!? At its core, Love Live! is about girls chasing a dream. Each season introduces a new group of high schoolers who form idol groups to save their schools, fullfill their hopes, and make unforgettable memories together. It's not just about singing and dancing (though the performances are gorgeous); it's about heart. It's about the why behind their dreams - and the bonds they build along the way.

The Main Entries Are: ♪ Love Live! School Idol Project - featuring Muse ♪ Love Live! Sunshine! - featuring Aqours ♪ Love Live! Nijigasaki High School Idol Club - each member being a soloist or in groups ♪ Love Live! Superstar! - featuring Liella

Honestly, every single group has its own magic; whether it's the scrappy determination of Muse, the sparkling hope of Aqours, the individual dreams of Nijigasaki, or the fresh start of Liella - Love Live! makes you want to root for them with everything you've got.

Why I Fell in Love: I'll be honest: I started watching for the cute outfits and catchy songs (no shame). But what kept me coming back episode after episode, season after season, was the emotional depth hidden beneath the sparkle.

These girls fail. They doubt themselves, they argue, they cry. However, they also grow, heal, and soar. Watching them felt like getting a warm hug and a pep talk all at once.

Plus, the music? Absolutely addictive! I still have "Snow Halation" and "Start: Dash" on repeat like it's my full-time job.

My Favorite Characters: Choosing a favorite girl feels like betrayal, but if I had to pick...

❀ Honoka Kosaka (Muse) - cute, soft hearted, and passionate? Say less

❀ Nico Yazawa (Muse) - cute, a bit abrassive, and has a motherly side around her siblings? How could I not love her?!

❀ Kanon Shibuya (Liella) - sweet and sincere with a voice that feels like sunshine.

But seriously, every girl has a moment where they shine so brightly you can't help but fall in love!

Why You Should Watch Love Live! Whether you're new to idol anime or a seasoned fan, Love Live! offers a joyful, heartfelt ride you won't forget.

★ The music will change your mood instantly: need a boost? There's a song for that

★ The characters feel real: they're not perfect and that makes them all the more lovable.

★ It's pure comfort: in a world that can be exhausting, Love Live! feels like coming home to people who believe in you.

Who knows? Maybe you'll even find a little bit of your own dream along the way.

What About You? Have you watched Love Live! before? Who's your best girl? Let's fangirl in the comments together - I'm ready to scream about my favorites with you!

Peace, Love, Boba ~

#love live #anime #fangirl #otaku girl #cute anime girls

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madfaithconnections · 9 months ago

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A little message meant to find you: What you are needing to hear right now is

Cards Pulled: 3 of Swords, The Chariot, 5 of Wands

There’s some serious inner conflict happening right now, likely tied to a recent heartbreak or disappointment. Maybe this was a breakup or something you put all your energy into that didn’t go the way you’d hoped. It’s left a mark on your heart, almost like a wound that won’t quite heal, and you keep circling back to it. You’re carrying a lot, maybe even replaying things over in your mind, feeling weighed down by guilt or frustration.

With the 5 of Wands here, it seems like you’re stuck in a tug-of-war within yourself—like there’s tension pulling you in different directions, making it tough to feel grounded or at peace. Each time you try to move forward, it feels like there’s another wave of resistance or frustration holding you back.

But here’s where The Chariot comes in. It’s encouraging you to focus that determination and channel all of that scattered energy. Even when it feels shaky, you’ve got this inner strength ready to help you take back the reins. The Chariot is all about moving through the struggles, not letting them pull you down, but using them as fuel to push forward.

Psalm 147:3 speaks beautifully to this: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Right now, you’re in a place of healing, and even though it’s tough, you’re not doing this alone. There’s a higher support lifting you through this.

Or think of Philippians 3:13-14: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.” Just like The Chariot’s energy, this verse calls you to release the past and let yourself lean forward, trusting that better things are on the horizon. It’s about reclaiming your strength, moving past the hurt, and finding new purpose beyond the challenges you’ve faced.

Take these as reminders: Your heart is healing, you’re gaining clarity, and each step forward is bringing you closer to balance. You’re stronger than you know, and this season of life is shaping you into something even more resilient and grounded.

If you would like to dive into this any further, well don't stress. I got your back!

You can receive 75% off of your first purchase on my shop. Click the picture below to be directed to my Etsy shop. Select any reading and use TUMBLR75 at checkout to receive your 75% off reading!

Offer valid through 12/06/2024

Follow me on TikTok @ Madffaithconnections for more channeled messages!

I used the Wondering Moon Deck in this reading!

#tarotcommunity #tarot reading #tarot #channeled message #intuitive messages #follow this blog for more #message from spirit #bible #faith #faith in god #wondering moon deck

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merrybandofmurderers · 9 months ago

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well, it's been fucking forever, but i finally have something to share. more revisions for my fic In Heart's Drumming. only one more part left! hoping to get it re-posted before the end of this year

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it again,” Jain confesses.

“Simply empty your mind, Herald,” Solas says.

The sight of the dragon as they crest the hill effectively empties Jain’s mind of thought as a fine panic sizzles through nir veins. It doesn’t feel the same.

“You don’t need to pull off any miracles,” Helena tells nem, drawing an arrow. “Even if you fight as you usually do, we’ll make out fine.”

As always, Jain fails not to envy her, her confidence and dignified poise. She barely even looks like she’s been traipsing across Orlais for the past week, unlike the rest of them, stained and rumpled and smelly. They only received reports of the dragon when they arrived at the base camp. Ovidia will be sorry she missed it; Jain wishes they could trade places.

The dragon greets them with a spray of ice before Cassandra can dispense direction. Solas steps forward as the rest fall behind him, and with a grand gesture, an ice wall bursts forth, the collision cracking like a split rock. Helena leaps into the trees, as Cassandra shouts orders for the mages to keep their distance and cover her. Jain raises nir staff and weaves barriers around each of them.

It does not take long to feel overwhelmed. The dragon is—Jain had no idea an animal could be so large. Cassandra looks miniscule beside it, Nel’s arrows like blades of grass. Jain’s mind is blank with fear, no newfound power flowing to nir fingertips.

Jain stays near Solas, who is kind enough not to remark on it. They have not fought together much and are not well-acquainted since their initial interactions in Haven. Solas is always polite, but the apostasy still makes Jain nervous. It’s not really a fair judgment anymore; they’re all apostates now.

But the mindsets are different. Solas wields his magic in a way no Circle mage does. Not careless but comfortable; his movements confident, the result of learned experience not rigid, terrified practice. He doesn’t carry his magic like a burden to be managed. He makes wielding magic look like something natural.

The dragon slams its tail against the ground, thrusting Jain from nir thoughts and to nir knees. Jain’s lungs gasp, lose hair stuck to nir sweaty face. Jain puts a shaky hand over the bloody tear in nir sleeve, healing magic seeping into the shallow wound as ney assesses the situation.

Nel has rent the dragon’s wings with enough arrows it can no longer fly, but a single leap still takes it to the other side of the battlefield, and she must be running low. It’s less agile, slower, maintaining its own distance, but they’re no less vulnerable to its shrieks and ice blasts.

Cassandra landed strong hits to the softer parts of its stomach; the dark blood paints the grass and stones. The dragon is growing desperate, cornered and losing. If they can weaken it just enough for Jain to finish it with the Anchor…

“Cassandra!” Jain calls. “Draw its attention!”

She doesn’t hesitate, charging the dragon with a ferocious battle cry.

Over Jain’s shoulder, ney sees Helena through the leaves, ready for nir signal. Jain takes a fortifying breath. Nel’s faith is both an assurance and an added pressure. Jain swallows, wipes the sweat from nir brow, and staggers upright. Nir staff, for the first time, does not feel heavy.

Cassandra has the dragon’s focus, its back turned to Jain. Jain fade steps, coming to a stop under the dragon’s bleeding belly. Scraping together the last of nir energy, Jain warps the air with a disruption field.

Normally, a dragon is too large to affect, but Jain’s mind is empty now of thought and panic, nir blood a calming thrush in nir ears. The disruption field swells, expanding far enough that the dragon’s thrashes are hindered.

“Solas! Firestorm!”

Jain sees Cassandra dive out of the way, and a barrier wraps around nir body. Above, the fade tears with a roar like lava, and flaming boulders crash down, pelting the dragon’s body. It struggles against its bondage, and Jain’s limbs feel sundered. A scream rips from nir throat, consciousness buckling.

Coolness flows through nir veins, and nir vision clears. A restoration spell. The boulders are waning, and Jain drops the disruption field. The dragon blunders, and Jain barely lurches to safety as its legs give out. Fallen to one knee, eyes closed, left hand raised, Jain reaches into the Anchor. Power surges, pulling the life force from the dragon’s body.

“Jain!”

Nel’s voice.

Jain’s eyes open, and the Anchor fades into dormancy as nir arm drops. The dragon lays still, blood pooling over the ragged ends of Jain’s robes.

Swift footsteps approach from behind. Jain turns, sees Helena running toward nem. A cut on her cheek drips blood onto her armor, her curls free and framing her face, and a smile, shining with pride, curves her lips.

@mrs-theirin, @calicostorms, @fade-and-loathing-in-thedas, @midnight-octopus, @ringneckedpheasant, @transfenris-truther, @spainkitty

#my stuff #my fic #fic: in heart's drumming #oc: jain trevelyan #oc: helena trevelyan

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eclecticpagann · 9 months ago

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Before we dive in, a heads-up: my posts can get a bit lengthy. But if you’re here for the journey, I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.

By now, you probably know I treat this blog as a bit of a personal journal. I love sharing my experiences because, in the end, maybe they’ll help someone else on their own path.

So, here we are—another update following yesterday’s post. I was so thrilled that someone understood what I’ve been going through that I just jumped right in without telling the whole story. Today, I’m here to fill in the gaps.

A little background about me—vulnerability included. My health, both mental and physical, isn’t always the best. I’ve had lifelong struggles with motivation (as I once shared in a post about Apollo), and that’s made keeping my home in order a real challenge. Living with chronic illness and dealing with mental dips has been frustrating, especially when I can’t keep up with the basic things I want to do, like cleaning.

That brings us back to the experience I mentioned yesterday. I left out a small detail initially, thinking it wasn’t significant, but here we go. I had been talking to Hel’s candle, seeking some kind of clarity, and naturally, I turned to something I trust deeply: my tarot deck.

With my mind racing at the thought of Hel reaching out, I struggled to form a question. Finally, I landed on something along the lines of, What am I experiencing in this connection?

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

The cards seemed to play along, either staying perfectly in place or scattering when my fingers fumbled. Heart pounding, I shuffled again.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

Finally, a single card jumped out: Ten of Swords, Reversed. I felt a pang of nerves—we all know that swords can be intense. Still, I grabbed my guidebook, a precious one my mother wrote. She compiled meanings from her own journey, blending research and intuition. Her insight has guided me through so many readings.

With shaky fingers, I flipped to the page. The reversed Ten of Swords was full of healing—specifically, “Steady improvement in health and an indication that any losses are in the past.” At the time, it didn’t make much sense in the context of Hel, so I dismissed it, thinking maybe it was a misdraw.

But this morning, I woke up feeling…different. No nausea, no headache, none of the pain that usually plagues me. I felt strong, ready to tackle the cleaning I’d been putting off. I haven’t felt this good in ages. I got to work, making a dent in my to-do list, taking breaks but feeling genuinely fulfilled.

And then it clicked. Hel was showing me that I’d have the strength I needed, guiding me to reclaim some control over my life. It was her nudge to get up and take action. She was helping me.

So, of course, I thanked her in every way I could think of. I picked a fresh mum from my garden for her altar (and one for Aphrodite, because fairness is everything). I promised Hel I’d set up her altar before Apollo’s—a promise I’m genuinely excited to keep. I’ve never felt this kind of connection to a deity, not even Aphrodite reached out in my lowest moments quite like this.

I’ll admit, though, a part of me still questions if it’s really her. But my mom’s friend, who has an incredible gift for this kind of sensing, might be able to help confirm it. He once saw Freya watching over my mom without knowing she’d felt drawn to her, so I feel reassured in asking.

If you have gotten this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate each of you who has joined me on this wild, unfolding journey.

#eclectic pagan #eclectic witch #norse pagan witch #norse pagan #norse paganism #hel #hel deity #hel goddess #hel worship #echos of my journey

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wherewhereare · 2 years ago

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@formerdetective 's View on the TIWTTFL bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a Trilogy (Part 3 of 3 parts)

1.1.1 Splash (Part 3 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective. Direct extract from her blog. Everything is [sic]

So my interpretation of the song comes in the context of all the other things we know. Splash was July, then I’m pretty sure Getting Warmer was in early September, and then Make Me Like You, Misery were September 22 & 23, and Truth was October 23. Also in mid and late September, Blake and Gwen both said some pretty cool/magical things were happening in their lives during interviews.

So anyway that’s kind of where I’m coming from with this analysis. To me, the emotional vibe is the most like Getting Warmer. I recommend listening to that right before this for more of Gwen’s mental state. BTW oh my God this is so long because this song is soooo heavy. so be prepared.

Splash

I’m awakening like a rosebud flowering

So, I have no idea if Gwen meant to be this deep or if she just described what she felt like, but I was getting some like, modern art symbolism vibes so I googled rose bud flowering, and this came up:

Rose Bud Flower Meaning… The Rosebud means anticipation and the opening of the heart and spirit to treasured dreams and fulfillment of desires. Rosebuds are also a symbol of new love and an invitation to friendship, courting and romance. Rosebud flower is in harmony with the heart of chakra.

This is exactly what I think this song is about. And remember what Gwen said on Facebook, that it was a cleansing song, and she did a lot of soul searching while listening to it and when she got back from Montana (and listening to it for her whole vacation) “her life changed forever.”

I think the whole song is about how she’s really healed enough that now she’s thinking more about the excitement of Blake and a new relationship than all the anger she was feeling before. In other words, she was ready to take a chance and be with him.

Look at me, I’m turning on, busting like a neon

Just like flowering, she’s turning on… she’s ready. And busting like a neon, well, that’s just a blatant reference to her fave Blake Shelton song.

Flickering on again, lightning in the dark

Her interest in romance and any kind of sexual relationship had been gone for a long time…like longer than just the few months since her separation, I think it’s safe to assume. But now she’s starting to come back to life “flickering on again” means maybe she’s not TOTALLY there but it’s happening. Same with flowering above, actually, she’s not completely blossomed but she’s getting there.

And I love “lightning in the dark” because literally he was this burst of light in her darkest time.

You’re helping me forget/What is this?

She literally was not expecting him at all and is completely blindsided by the fact that she’s gone from being at her absolute worst, emotionally/mentally, to falling in love all of a sudden. like literally what is this?

Gonna break out my cocoon

And as a result, he’s helping her come out of her shell and become the person she wants to be instead of the ghost-like person she had been feeling like for such a long time (again longer than just her separation). And not just him, but songwriting and the voice and plenty of things, this was SO important for her. She referenced it so many times and even named her LLC this. That’s how important it was to her that she was finally coming back to life. And understandably. ugh. my baby.

I’m gonna take a risk, skinny dip

So, I can’t decide if this is an allusion to something that actually happened or they talked about, or it’s just an example of something that’s both sexy and risky. Or maybe he goes along with the water theme…that maybe is it. She’s diving in in the most vulnerable way possible (naked).

Cause I see you’re on the loose

So, it’s no secret one of my favorite things in Shefani Science is their obvious crushes on each other in season 7. They have always been drawn to each other and enamored with each other, and Gwen especially has always seemed quite taken with him.

So just imagine. This guy you’ve always had feelings for, like maybe innocent jr. high style ones, Maybe “sigh if only” ones, maybe “wow I like him so much” ones, who knows but whichever, you had feelings for this guy, and you kind of felt like he was into you too, but regardless nothing was ever gonna happen because for better or (literally) for worse, you were both unavailable. And then all of a sudden you find out this guy is not only going through exactly what you went through, so you have tons in common and are bonding even more than before, but that shared experience means he is available.

He’s not married anymore, which means if she wants to take a chance with him, she has the opportunity to do that. He’s there, he’s willing, it’s up to her to take the chance.

Gonna lasso you, gonna lasso you

And that’s what she wants to do. I love love love this cowboy reference so much, in case there was any question about who she was singing about. She’s gonna snatch him and pull him into her. Hot.

Gonna get some pleasure, together

This one is probably self-explanatory… but also in addition to being like… sexy fun times pleasure, the together is important. It’s not like Gwen is looking for someone to take her mind off things. Blake accidentally took her mind off things because he’s what she’s thinking about now. In Obsessed she refers to him as a distraction, but she’s really trying to convince herself that’s what’s up. And now she’s accepting that’s not what this is. It’s a real thing.

Must be a sign/All the energy’s pulling me right back to you

So, I’m not positive when she wrote this, but it has to have been sometime in July… my guess is the back half of July. And up until that point, they’ve been spending a bunch of time together. I personally think they’ve already made out, maybe done some heavy petting or whatever… (because of obsessed and CHTF) and now she wants more. There’s some kind of cosmic, magnetic energy that’s telling her she belongs with him, she can’t get enough of him, she wants to be with him (both literally and figuratively). It’s not just a fun distraction… the universe or at least her brain is telling her to keep up what they’re doing.

Tonight, gonna bottle you up and wear it like perfume

So now she’s ready. She wants him with her from now on. And she wants him to be close to her, like perfume is something that you absorb through your skin and then it lingers. That’s what she wants from him. She wants him to stay. And I think there’s some sexual implications as well. She wants him on her skin.

Alright, we going in, it’s what we’re supposed to do/ Tonight, open wide

Open wide could mean a bunch of different things. Open wide, like here I come or open wide like give yourself to me…like open arms. And open wide like, again…let’s go for it!

Splash, I’m diving in/Diving in, I’m diving in

So, she’s going for it. She’s not wading in, testing the waters anymore, she’s just gonna take a chance and do it. Headfirst. She’s going for it. And it doesn’t even have to be pretty. She expects the “splash”, you know? But she’s ready to move on.

I think the whole skinny dip, splash, diving…all this aquatic symbolism is important because it’s cleansing. Kind of like baptism, water has always had that feeling of rebirth. Starting fresh. And she’s ready to get going with cleansing herself of the old mess and starting fresh with something new, because that’s “what she’s supposed to do.” Literally she feels like it is not even really a choice, it’s what’s happening.

I’m re-surfacing, a brand new oxygen/Look at me, I’m letting go

And then when she dives in, she’ll come up and the air is fresher. Diving in with Blake is going to be so good for her not only because she likes him so much but also because it’s time to move on.

A rising Kundalini

So, Kundalini, in this context, is referring to a coiled energy that lies dormant at your base, beneath the root chakra (the trust chakra, FYI). Kundalini is released during a really intense event (often associated with sex but not necessary) and when it rises it travels up through all the chakras (they run along the central nervous system, basically) and when it is risen your kundalini awakens and you reach full enlightenment. It’s an incredibly spiritual experience, that sort of helps bond you with the universe. Basically, this line is super intense. She feels like Blake and her have something literally spiritual.

I’m breathing you, breathing me

This is about togetherness, I think, and it goes along with the idea of yoga/meditation/kundalini. But breathing is crucial you know? And also, basic. He’s a part of her now.

Going with the flow

Another water reference. This is natural, what’s happening between them. It’s supposed to happen and she’s rolling with it.

Damn anon I did not mean to get this intense but that’s how we do…

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