#like idk here posts dont really disappear like they do on twitter---

[polyamorous-elevenv2]

people from that fandom can be so mad about non-canon rare ships on twitter and make drama of it

[not-alien-girl-v]

Internet Hcs About the Evans

i don’t know. read it

warning: like everything language mentions of porn idk dont read it if ur gonna be like ew stop being lewd

Tate: Knows the fnaf lore. Specifically watched Markiplier play it and also a Sally Face fan like hardcore and kins both Sal and Larry equally. Has a Tumblr acc but it’s only to interact w fanart of fnaf and sally face and like idk follow other fan accs he’s one of those empty accs with some random ass username no posts no bio no prof pic just his name in lowercase. has a deviantart?? again doesn’t post just to look at fanart he’s really into fanart and almost gets into reading fanfiction about his various interests but ultimately decides against it cuz i feel like violet would clown on him for it if she ever found out

Kit: Has an insta but it’s private with like 27 followers and it’s all like just his family and friends and sometimes when his friends post he’ll comment something like ‘Looking good bud 👍’ and then disappears from the internet for another month or two until he gets a notif that his wife posted or something. too scared to go on twitter and i don’t blame him. for the most part he just doesn’t understand how the internet works and has no intentions of finding out so he leaves it alone. he also has a facebook but same rules apply with the instagram only ever goes on to hype up his wife and kids and sometimes friends

Kyle: frat boy sorry cuz i don’t imagine frankenkyle can fathom the internet anyway i feel like kyle gets into debates online like way too much and he sees nothing wrong w the fact that he’s like actively searching out bigots to give a piece of his mind to. he’s got a tiktok and only follows like racist sexist ppl so his feed is full or opportunities to curse someone out digitally. he’s also got a twitter thats almost been banned a lot. he’s completely anonymous w it tho and his insta is completely regular he’s got like maybe 900-1000 followers just of like his friends and frat guys from his own or other frats and a bunch of girls who asked for his insta cuz they thought he was cute even though he never replies to flirty dms. he WOULD have several white boy went fishing posts and you guys can’t argue w me on this ok i wrote too much for him. he definitely has a lot of girls commenting every time he posts and i think his brothers would give him a lot of shit for not ‘jumping on that shit’ but he’s all like ‘oh i’m old fashioned u know i’m not like that’ has an active snapchat that he adds stories to all the time but once again never responds to messages

Jimmy: he has an account on instagram, twitter, probably facebook but they’re all mostly like linked to the freak show ykwim like he’d have like a verified checkmark but he only ever posts like freak show related announcements or like every now and then a little video that he records of him and some other ppl in the show behind the scenes and it’s captioned like ‘come see us (enter date here)’ and that’s pretty much it he’s not super big on being active in social media because he claims he has plenty of friends irl he doesn’t need fake robot friends. also may not know how the internet works

James: i mean sally runs the hotels official instagram page and all other socials and he probably has no idea that she’s doing that until he finds out she posted some image of video of him on one of the accounts and then some guests recognize him at the hotel and say like ‘omg ur that guy!!’ and he has no idea what it all means n shit. I think he would get a great kick out of instagram reels like non tiktok but you know how like a month after a trend happens on tiktok then it goes to reels? right like he eats that shit up he thinks its the funniest goddamn thing like funny cat videos or someshit

Kai: right so like we all know he trolls reddit and 4chan and posts rude reviews on thatcow. the kinda guy that kyle finds himself internet battling like this is the enemy he's been preparing for. he has a tiktok to stay relevant and he's just a comment section lurker 'user17896379' type shit he just likes various biggoted comments and occasionally replies just to start fights and shit. he's got a facebook and insta where he's totally normal tho like 'hey guys vote me for senate!!' again similar to kyle but like opposite ends of the same spectrum. i would love to view his search history. searches the most despicable things on p0rn websites every time he yanks it and i just am desperate to know what shit he's looking at

[ankhisms]

have been seriously debating about continuing to post art on here after the shit with tumblr letting ai scrape images here (even with the opt out option i still do not trust this website to actually honor peoples wishes. the staff and ceo have proven time and time again that theyre not only bigots but that they dont give a shit about the users of their website and what we want) but im also really stumped about where else to possibly share my art. i dont like instagram really although i havent used it in over 4 years and when i did i would just post some pictures i took of trees and flowers and then disappear for months, i never have been able to enjoy twitters layout but maybe id eventually get over that, and i certainly could use cohost but it sounds like its pretty dead rn over there and id have to remake my account since theres a glitch with mine currently. i want in the future to have some kind of website where i can host the comics i make in the future but i dont have the coding skills right now to be able to do that yet... idk im just like. man i dont know if i feel comfortable continuing to post art on here. but i still want to be able to share my art with people and it sucks to have to start over on a new platform but also like where the hell do i even go

[kagejima]

Hi! You are very considerate to come up with this idea of venting as a reader/writer. And thank you so much for helping me say the stuff I would normally not say in my blog. I just hope this vent does not ruin your mood

Oftentimes I see big blogs on here subposting stuff about xreader tags or some sort of fic formats. And sometimes even about how short fics are nowadays. And it sort of hurts me a lot cuz these are people I look up to and aspire to write like but then they go and make such degrading posts and I can't help but wonder if they are talking about my fics or something u can't help it, being new comes with the additional baggage of insecurities but then if they want newbies to disappear where are they supposed to go? twitter? reddit? instagram? wattpad? let's not talk abt how they roast wattpad writers

I mean it's not that hard to tolerate bad writing right? It's just like how they have in their pinned posts- 'scroll the fuck away no need to put a show' People better themselves with practice. Can't this place become more tolerant to newbies and show some fucking support? Heck if they are this annoyed then what about instead of ranting and subposting stuff they come up with their own tagging system and make it universal or something? But then it all comes down to free will. There will always be bad fics where there are new writers. We learn with exposure and if lucky, feedback.

Lmao this tirade makes me sound like an insecure fuck I'm really not trust me but it just feels so bad when your ideals slap you like that. That makes me wonder if we could yk look at it like a teacher slapping a student. Question is if the underlying intentions are good or if they just don't care which writer's motivation they are killing. I dont even wanna type it cuz it makes me so pukish just thinking abt it I'm sorry I guess it also comes down to who you are as a human.

I just idk I think I just want people to stop being hostile? And maybe make kindness a habit? Yk there's a difference between mean and cool. Don't be so prickly about stuff that doesn't matter to your real life or something like that. I'll stop before I work myself up again and Omg this became longer than I imagined I'm so sorry if this is ruining your mood but I'm also grateful to you for opening such a considerate event. Thank you, and take care xoxo

I am monitoring a discussion this weekend between writers and readers about low interaction and frustrations. Please read the rules before submitting something.

Just as a reminder, if you wish to reply to someone's message, do not comment on it with your own handle. Instead, please link it in an anonymous reply of your own. If you do not know how to do this, I can walk you through it.

[hellspawnmotel]

Hey Hellspawn, I'm pretty new to tumblr, but I'm considering it as a small spot for some of my comics and art posts. Do you have any tips?

idk what kind of tips exactly you want but uhhh

tag everything in a way that you'll be able to easily find it again, and make your tags specific. so have tags for your own archiving purposes and also ones that you think people will be able to stumble across through searches. also sideblogs are very easy to make/use and can be useful if you want to separate different kinds of content even further. if you dont tag and organize things you might as well be using twitter

i like tumblr a lot for sharing art, because people are more likely to keep finding your older posts here rather than them just being shoved so far back that nobody sees them anymore like on twitter. it's also fun to go through other people's tags if you're looking for a specific kind of content, and you can do that easily by just clicking on the number of notes a post has and then clicking on the reblog tab.

don't worry if your art doesn't get a lot of attention right away- people will find you in time. your art won't just disappear if it doesn't get noticed right away. and if you ever get mean comments or hate in general, it's better to just ignore it unless you have a really good joke as a response. but i think the userbase here is old enough at this point that most people just want peace and quiet, dont bother anyone and they probably won't bother you. don't use the blaze feature though. that counts as bothering people and nobody likes it

so overall, just be chill and nice and stay organized!

[seven-thewanderer]

Welp, my current time on Tumblr is coming to a close. Imma start being busy again, so I decided to the current amount of followers I have, I’ll let you know some stuff:

You can ask me questions if y’all want, you can ask about my Bug AU, you can ask about the Pokémon versions of Sun(drop) and Moon(drop) that I drew, you can just ask me random stuff, but not weird stuff. If y’all do ask questions, however, I’ll probably answer when I return, so probably for 2 weeks of December. Or February or March. Or just entirely next year summer. But if there are questions, I’ll try to answer them when I return.

Also, if any of y’all (or any potential followers I get while I’m gone) want to do fanart or just draw my Bug AU Sun & Moon, or my Pokemon Version of Sun & Moon, then go ahead! I’m not stopping you! However, there’s a huge chance that I’ll never see it though, so if you want me to see it, then idk, dm it to me? I may see it when I come back.

Also, here’s some donts for when I’m gone:

Do not steal my art please (I’ve said that many times in the tags of my art, so please don’t try & steal it while I’m gone. If you post it somewhere on Pinterest or somewhere else, even Twitter or TikTok or Instagram, and it gets really popular & I find out, I’m coming back just to find you.)

Do not spam my dms (you will make me panic and disappear for longer)

Dont even ask anything about a face reveal (I’ll either say no or not respond to you at all.)

Don’t ask about my age (same answer for if you ask about my face: no or no answer at all)

Anyways, I don’t wanna have too many requirements, just I feel like something could possibly go wrong while I’m gone, so I’m trying to say some things so that nothing goes wrong.

Also, don’t hesitate to just go through my whole blog while I’m gone, I don’t think I have too much stuff? So if you wanna see art or something, you can just go to my art tag & look at it!

Also, please don’t get me famous. I know Tumblr fame is bad, but even if it wasn’t, I still don’t wanna get famous. I’m not even supposed to have this account, so if my account is found by the wrong people, then I’m in for a ride. Also, the fact that I’m not cis & straight would make things even worse if I’m found out. So you can like my art, and new people can follow me, but please not too much, I just wanna vibe on this site.

Anyways, I think that’s all I got for now, I’ll say one final message on the day that I disappear though.

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Not to be a soft motherfucker but I've been wanting to do this again for a week now so I guessed I would try my best to fit as many of my thoughts here as I can without being annoying or tumblr fucking up plz bear with me heh but we know none of those are actually possible anyway so THERES THAT also this is fucking long wow ANYWAY

WARNING WORD VOMIT sjsjsjsj I dont even know what i wrote I'm sorry but I'm tagging yall anyway

Some of you I speak to on a daily basis, yknow? Like,, as admin. And its fucking insane because like- I don't know but like isn't it insane? sjajsjsj How fast some people come to grow in your heart and get under your skin and become so important for you. I think it's crazy. That in four months or so I've made more friends in here that in my whole life and I've learned so much about life and myself and I've gotten marked and some of you imprinted on my mind and heart forever. And like HELL I wasn't here when most big dramas happened but I was here for two very big ones and like??? idk it feels like all of us have been through shared crises and somehow grown closer sjajskwjs idk I'm weird and im sensitive today and I just feel like wow what would I be doing without all of you right now? probably studying. or scrolling Twitter in which I never spoke to anyone. or watching Instagram stories and getting sad over how all my ex class partners are still in contact and hang out and keep strong relationships while I just sit here. like, I know we all say this place sucks and we hate it and its toxic and don't get me wrong of course some people is fucking shitty and they take a toll on a lot of others but that like... it also happens in real life yknow?? but like in real life how many people do you think would actually idk sit with you through a panic attack or stay up with you till 8am or wake up in the middle of the night or rave with you or hype you up or have meme wars or send you daily jokes or just randomly tell you how much you mean to them or make posts asking where you are when you disappear or been gone for too long or make people that doesnt know you send you birthday wishes? like I'm not saying it doesnt happen but isnt it wonderful that it happens HERE with US where maybe out of 10 people only 2 know each other in real life? Isnt it wonderful that we're from all around the world? that you half of the time dont realize someone isnt from English speaking places because they're too good or even when they're not that good no one judges you because this is such an inclusive and wonderful place for people of all races and colors and sexualities and nationalities and body types and hair colors?

idk I'm just RAMBLING but like I wanted to let everyone know that even if we dont speak, even if we NEVER spoke, even if we're only on each others tag lists, or even if I was and you took me off or I took you off or if you deleted or if you have 817383 bots and you speak to me in all of them or only one or whatever PLEASE just know that I love you so much and I appreciate you and you're awesome and if you made some mistakes know that you CAN fix them you CAN learn and be better you CAN grow.

I believe that everyone is capable of learning and changing and everyone deserves a second chance as long as they genuinely show the intention of changing and bettering themselves. I believe that we're capable of forgiving and maintaining healthy relationships without hard feelings. I believe we all have goodness. I believe we all are small universes and we have stars in our eyes and supernovas in our brains and a million things to discover and I believe its funnier to be together than alone and I'm rambling again but like idk just yesterday I was sending someone a message telling them how maybe I'm fucking delusional and naive because who the fuck goes out on their daily saying "be skeptical. dont trust too much. always pay attention" but then after two days of talking with someone they're fucking platonically whipped and would sell their soul as long as they can see those around them happy? trick question I know many of you do too which WORRIES ME PLZ DONT PUT YOUR HEARTS ON THE LINE SO EASILY I drifted I forgot what I was saying oh welp

Anyway for some of you i have so much to say I could write endless paragraphs about you about admins and characters and life and wow I do speak a lot to admins sometimes I speak more to admins as admin that the characters and for some others I can only say a few things or wish you to have a good day some of you I only ever spoke to your character or we talked too little or never at all wow I say that a lot but like one thing yall have in common is that I love you so much even if you don't know me or dont care alright I dont care if you don't care I LOVE YOU and you can FIGHT ME if you dont wanna accept it smh I just want you to know that this place so many of you have been feeling is crumbling down or hurting them or isnt the same anymore is MY safe place too is a place where I feel comfortable and secure and I know, well decide to believe, that you guys would never do willingly anything to hurt another and yknow sometimes I just sit in bed and look at my account and I'm like wow I suck I should delete but then I'm like I could never do that to you I really couldn't because I've been told so many times I'm peoples safe place too and I would never want to take that away from you yknow

I mean I'm not gonna say we shouldn't pay attention to the bad things that happen because this is somehow our home and it's on us to protect it but I think that we shouldnt focus so much on it. because theres still so many good things that we overlook when we think of the bad or when we let things get to us or when we decide to act out of impulse and not think through stuff yknow

ANYWAAY what I'm trying to say is that I love you all so so so so so much and this is my safe place because you're here for me when I need it and I would never give you guys up for anything and like i have so many people for whom i stay daily and try my best and I hope that someday when you need a reason i can be that for you too because I've said this in private but I want everyone to know that this is my corner too and I will always fight for it and protect it so like we can all fight for it together whenever things get rough or you can leave me alone and maybe I'm being super dramatic and putting a lot of weight on this but I started overthinking like halfway and in just tthink that I want to keep yall close to me and my heart forever ok so stay safe and healthy and happy yeah fight for your happiness fight for what you deserve fight for what you want and don't let anyone ANYONE EVER take away from you your joy and your spark and your will to be yourself ok bye

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Marry You-- Joe Mazzello x Reader

Request; “How about a joe mazzello based on the song marry you by Bruno  Mars? Idk” ( @hi-i-dont-know )

Warnings; some language, the song is fem! specific but the story itself isn’t

Word Count; 1.8k

Notes; sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this lol

You couldn’t believe it. You had worked so hard for so long, and you finally did it. Here you were, standing on a stage, accepting an award at a prestigious ceremony. People were clapping, and cameras were everywhere. Never in a million years did you expect this to happen. 

You stuttered through your acceptance speech before scurrying back to your seat. The rest of the awards ceremony seemed to go by in a haze as you continued to try to wrap your mind around the evening. You were in desperate need of a drink, and the after party couldn’t come soon enough.

Dozens of people came up to congratulate you, and you only recognized about half of them. You quickly gulped down your drinks in an attempt to make yourself calm down. It wasn’t the wisest idea, but it was all you could do besides leaving the party, which you obviously didn’t want to do. You were tipsy, borderline drunk, and still feeling overwhelmed. That’s when he decided to approach you. The last thing you needed was your childhood celebrity crush to show up, but that’s exactly what happened.

Your first introduction to Joe Mazzello was when you watched Radio Flyer shortly after it came out, then you saw him again in Jurassic Park. Your younger self thought he was cute, thus your childhood crush formed. As years went on and the two of you started to become more successful in the world of entertainment, you had met each other once or twice, but it was always in passing. Neither of you really spoke to each other much. The most interaction the two of you had was via social media, occasionally liking each other’s posts. 

Needless to say, you were worried about embarrassing yourself because you had too much alcohol in your system for your mind to properly function, and it didn’t help that you continued to drink. “I’m sure you’re going to be sick of hearing this by the end of the night, but congratulations!” Joe flashed you a bright smile. You laughed before thanking him. “Mind if I sit?” He nodded his head towards the empty stool next to yours. You shook your head.

“No, not at all!” Joe sat, and the two of you chatted about basic stuff, like ‘Have you tried the shrimp? It’s pretty good!’ or ‘I’ve been going ninety-to-nothing tonight and can’t wait to finally get home.’ You normally felt awkward during small talk, but this was nice. Maybe it was just the alcohol that was making this feel so comfortable. Maybe it was just his charming personality. Either way, you didn’t care. You were enjoying it. 

“Hope I’m not bothering you. I’m sure a ton of other people would like to talk to you.” You scoffed at Joe’s comment and dramatically rolled your eyes.

“Oh, please! I’m having way more fun talking to you than I would have if I were talking to some of them. Besides, it’s not every day that you get to hang out with your age-old celebrity crush.” You brought your glass to your lips and froze. Did you seriously just say that out loud? No, surely not. You weren’t that drunk, right? You slowly lowered the glass, glancing over at Joe. Shit. You did say it out loud. His mouth was open, looking shocked. And his cheeks were red. 

“You... wait. I’m your celebrity crush?” You felt the heat rising to your face and nodded. He ran a hand through his hair. “No fucking way. This is crazy. You’ve been my celebrity crush since we first met at that movie premiere a few years ago,” Joe said enthusiastically, very much resembling a child telling their friends about the cool toy they got for Christmas. You covered your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. Joe’s brows knitted together, but his goofy grin remained. “I’m serious!” 

“This is too good to be true. It sounds like something out of a fanfiction book on Wattpad or Tumblr.” Joe laughed, stating his agreement. He suddenly grabbed your hand. His eyes were wide and mischief danced across his features.

“I’ve got an awesome idea, and it’ll really make life like a fanfic.” You pursed your lips, eyeing him suspiciously.

“What’re you planning, Joe?” 

“It’s a surprise! Now, where’s the closest Walmart?”

Who cares if we're trashed Got a pocket full of cash we can blow Shots of Patron And it's on girl

The two of you managed to find an Uber at the ungodly hour of the morning it was. People gave you odd looks when you first walked into the store. Some because they recognized the two of you, and some because you were both in incredibly formal attire... while drunk shopping in Walmart. You headed straight towards the candy, and Joe disappeared. As you were paying for the mountain of candy in your arms, you felt someone tap on your shoulder. It was Joe, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You okay?” you snickered, grabbing the plastic bag from the worker before thanking her. 

'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

“Actually, there’s something important I want to ask you.” You raised a brow at him, and he took a deep breath. When Joe got down on one knee, your jaw dropped. He pulled out a ring that had a little silver frog on top, its back made of a green gem. “Let’s continue with the fanfiction themed night, shall we?” You laughed, nodding. Joe beamed up at you and slid the ring onto your finger.

“Is this actually happening right now?” you asked in between laughs. Joe shrugged. 

“Dunno. That sounds like something for our sober selves to figure out. Wanna check out the Redbox movies?”

I'll go get a ring Let the choir bell sing like ooh So what you wanna do Let's just run girl If we wake up and you want to break up That's cool No, I won't blame you It was fun girl

Your head was pounding. Bringing a hand to your face, you rubbed your eyes before squinting them open. How much did you drink last night? You could hardly remember a thing... that is until you realized you weren’t in your hotel room, nor were you alone. An arm was wrapped around your waist, and the person’s head was nuzzled against your back. Fucking shit. Your mind was reeling, trying to remember what had happened. A part of your mind tried to rationalize that maybe you didn’t hook up with someone. After all, you were still dressed. Then again... the sweats and baggy shirt didn’t belong to you. 

You were worried about waking whoever was beside you. You were desperate to avoid any awkward and embarrassing interactions. Slowly reaching out, you went to pull your phone off of the bedside table. That’s when you noticed the ring. Your breath got caught in your throat as a sudden sense of urgency flooded your system. You tried to turn your phone on, but a black screen stared back at you. Of course, it was dead. Well, there was only one thing you could do. You started peeling yourself from the person’s grasp. As you did, the person stirred. When you were finally able to turn and look at them, it felt like someone dumped a bucket of rocks into your stomach. “Damn... my head’s killin’ me,” Joe groaned while rubbing his face. Your mouth open and closed. You couldn’t think of anything to say. Joe removed his hands, finally meeting your gaze. His eyes widened. “Oh my god...” was all the could muster up.

“Joe, what the hell happened last night?” You showed him your hand, and his face reddened. 

“Well... I-- uh-- don’t remember much. I don’t think we had sex, but I don’t know about that.” He pointed at the ring. Joe quickly sat up, snatching his phone from the floor. Thankfully, it had been charging. 

He had multiple missed calls and unopened text messages from his friends, most of which said something along the lines of ‘Joe, what the hell is going on? Is this real?’ Joe swiped through his camera roll, but most of the pictures were goofy selfies or short videos of the two of you wandering around Walmart. It didn’t really offer much information. You suggested looking through your social media accounts. Lo and behold, it was the jackpot. Your twitter was filled with cringe-worthy levels of cheesy and sappy pickup lines, all of which had Joe tagged in them. He responded to a few, but his replies only consisted of various heart emojis. Joe’s Instagram story had dozens of photos and videos of you two, most of which you had already seen in his camera roll. Then there was one post that had the caption ‘I liked it so I put a ring on it (guess we’re engaged now)’, and you had commented ‘#couplegoals’. You decided to take a look into your own Instagram account, clicking through the story photos you remembered posting. When it finally got to something new, you couldn’t help the butterflies that formed in your chest. 

It was a video of Joe, laying in bed next to you. Your head was on his chest, and you had an arm draped across his torso. You were out cold, and Joe had a soft smile on his face. “(Y/N) fell asleep in the middle of our Night At The Museum marathon, so I decided to hack their insta.” He glanced down at you, his smile growing even wider. “They’re so adorable, even when they’re snoring like a freight train. But don’t let them know that I told you guys that,” he said the last part with a serious expression. Joe pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then the video ended.

“So I guess we got engaged,” you mumbled, examining the little frog ring on your finger. “We know that much happened.”

“What now?” Joe asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You glanced at him, and he was idly tracing a pattern into the bed’s comforter. 

“Well, first, I think we should get some breakfast. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Then maybe we could start with a date and see how that goes?” Joe looked up, meeting your gaze. A smile spread across his lips.

“I like that plan.”

Don't say no no no no no Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah And we'll go go go go go If you're ready, like I'm ready

Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby

Tag List;

@mothermercuryy @mmmmmitslikeadiseaseson

[catradoramma]

Since im a prompt junkie i had a catradora one for you! How bout a not super angsty one. But like, Catra defects from the horde (taking scorpia and entrapta with her) they dont join the rebellion and adora hasnt seen or talked to catra for like..a few years. Que princess prom and catra/scorpia/entrapta showing up like the newly matured bosses they are. (Of course its gotta end with a catra/adora make up kiss xD)

Deca-Annual is Not Enough

A few years after the Horde had been defeated, Bright Moon hosts the deca-annual Princess Prom, and a few people Adora thought had died are decidedly not dead. 

hi, this prompt is perfect and i love it. I pumped this bad boy out in a couple of hours today. It is kind of angsty, but like, not in a bad way, you know?? idk. i hope you like it :))))))

| pareon | kofi | read it on ao3 | twitter |

Adora felt something heavy and proud bubble up in her chest as she looked around the ballroom at Bright Moon. Hundreds of princesses, princes, and non-binary royals danced, and chatted, and laughed in the room below. It was the first Princess Prom since the Horde was defeated a few years ago, and even though this was only technically the second Princess Prom Adora had attended, she knew it felt a lot lighter, and freer, and happier than the last one did.

Despite the happy atmosphere, however, Adora couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. Or rather, someone was missing.

There had been a handful of deaths since the beginning of the war, and while Adora was hesitant to say they’d been lucky…they’d been pretty lucky. Even if it felt like her heart was being crushed by their absences, Adora knew their loss of life could have been much, much higher.

“Hey Adora!” Glimmer appeared, a wall of glitter dissipating into the air as she approached. Adora’s heart clenched at the phrasing.

“Hey Glimmer,” Adora smiled. “Enjoying the party?”

Glimmer groaned, “Yeah, sure, if you count being sucked up to by almost a thousand royals fun.”

Adora laughed, “No wonder Frosta hated us during the last one.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, “No wonder.” Glimmer shook her head lightly, “I’m surprised we didn’t get kicked out earlier, because I swear, if one more person says they just absolutely love my hair and my castle and my dress I’m going to punch a wall.”

Adora laughed, “Glimmer, I absolutely love your hair—”

Glimmer screamed playfully and pushed Adora, “You suck! You’re the worst! I hate you!”

Adora laughed and playfully deflected a few of Glimmers attacks. “Mercy, mercy,” Adora finally said after Glimmer managed to hit a few too many of Adora’s ticklish spots.

“You’re lucky you’re my best friend,” Glimmer laughed as she back off, “Otherwise I would have no choice but to finish you.”

Adora rolled her eyes, “I’m quaking in my boots.” The two girls laughed together, leaning on the balcony railing as they did. Adora passed her eyes over the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of wild brown hair and an adorable tail before she could stop herself.

Even five years after Catra’s disappearance and presumed death, Adora still couldn’t stop herself from looking for her.

Glimmer placed a hand on Adora’s arm, a sad smile on her face. “You know there’s still a chance—”

Adora shook her head and cut her off, “She’d dead, Glimmer.” Adora sent Glimmer a shaky smile, “I just forget sometimes.”

Glimmer’s smile wilted a bit more, “Adora—”

“No, Glimmer,” Adora pulled out of Glimmer’s hold, but not meanly. “She’s gone. She’s been gone. I can’t keep letting myself hope only to get let down, time and time again.”

Glimmer sighed and opened her arms. Adora walked into them and allowed herself to just be hugged. “I know, Adora,” Glimmer sighed into Adora’s shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

Adora didn’t say anything, she just pulled Glimmer in tighter. After a few beats, Adora pulled away, holding Glimmer by her shoulders. “Now, what do you say we go find Bow and have a good old fashioned Best Friend Squad dance party?”

Glimmer beamed, “I love that! Meet you on the dance floor, I have to make the announcement anyway.” Adora nodded and then Glimmer was disappearing in a poof of glitter.

Adora smiled and turned back over the balcony to look for Bow.

Adora’s heart stopped in her chest when instead she locked eyes with Catra.

Catra who just walked into the Bright Moon castle.

Catra who had been presumed dead for the last five years.

Her hair had been cut short, hanging just under her chin. The Horde-issued headband she used to wear was gone, replaced instead with adorable bangs that framed her face perfectly. One of her ears had been pierced, her face was somehow more angular, and her eyes were sharper, but she was still the most beautiful thing Adora had ever seen in her life.

“Catra,” Adora breathed, because that’s all she could do. Adora refused to blink, terrified that if she did, Catra would disappear again—just a figment of Adora’s imagination. “Catra,” Adora said again, he voice louder this time as she watched her move across the ballroom next to Scorpia and—and Entrapta?

It was almost like it was in slow-motion. People recognized the trio as they moved through the crowd, parting for them like they were some sort of etherial beings. Adora wanted to look for Perfuma—who had been so devastated by Entrapta’s death—but couldn’t tear her eyes away from Catra.

Adora wanted nothing more than to run to Catra’s side, to gather her in her arms and kiss her until she couldn’t kiss anymore. Adora wanted to touch her, to make sure she was real, to run her fingers through Catra’s hair feel the way Catra’s tangles caught them.

Adora wanted to wrap Catra up and never let her go again.

But her feet were glued to the ground, and her muscles were locked, and Adora had never frozen like this before. Even in the face of every horror and monstrosity she faced while battling the Horde, she had never frozen like this.

It seemed, even years after they last saw each other, Catra was still the exception.

“Adora!” Bow called, shaking Adora out of her trance. “Adora!” Bow’s voice was frantic and Adora reluctantly looked away from Catra.

Adora must have had a shellshocked look on her face—hell, she felt shellshocked. She felt hollow, like all of her insides had been scooped out of her, like her feeble supports had been kicked out from under her. Bow gathered Adora into his arms, “You saw her then?”

“Yeah,” Adora breathed, her arms coming up numbly around Bow’s back. “She’s real?” Her voice shook, terrified that Bow was going to say no. “She’s here?”

“Yeah,” he muttered into her hair, and Adora thought she was going to collapse. She probably would have if it weren’t for Bow’s arms around her. “Yeah, she’s really here.”

Adora sobbed, “I need—“ she choked on her own rising emotions, her body finally rebooting. “I need to see her.”

She pulled out of Bow’s embrace and tripped her way down to the ground floor. Adora was grateful that she’d decided to go with sandals again this time around and not heels like she had at Glimmer’s coronation. Adora messily worked her way through the crowd, getting to the front just in time to see the trio bow (as is Princess Prom custom) to a stunned Glimmer at the front of the ballroom.

Adora stumbled out of the crowd and up the stairs of the dias. She was distantly reminded of the first Princess Prom, and how Adora had stumbled up next to Catra then too. This time however, she turned to Catra, breathless, and mumbled her name in reverence instead of disdain.

Adora brought her hand up to touch, but hesitated, unsure if that was something that was allowed after all the time and pain between them

Catra smiled crookedly and Adora thought she was going to die, “Hey Adora.”

And that was it.

That was all it took before Adora let out a sob and pulled Catra into a bruising hug.

— . —

“So, we laid low in Scorpia’s kingdom,” Catra explained as they walked down the hallways at Bright Moon. Adora found it hard to look away from the other girl. She had changed so much in the past five years: her hair was shorter, and he seemed more mellow, somehow, and her ear was pierced.

“We knew it would be too hard to join the Rebellion, and being part of the Horde was no longer an option. I still wanted to fight, and Entrapta wanted to keep building things, and we all wanted to help, so we started doing undercover missions independently,” Catra went on.

Adora pursed her lips, “Why did you stay away for so long? I thought you were dead.”

Catra sighed and scratched the back of her head. “At first it was to keep the Horde off of us,” she cut her eyes toward Adora, “And I was angry still so I didn’t really want to see you.” Catra sighed and kicked an imaginary rock, “But the anger eventually went away and the war ended and…” Catra shrugged. “I didn’t really know what to say.”

“I’m sorry,” Adora said, because she didn’t know what else to say.

Catra sent Adora a fond smile because of course Catra knew. “You don’t have to be sorry. I know you’re a dumbass.”

“I’m sorry?” Adora said again.

Catra laughed and it sounded like music, “It’s okay. It’s part of your charm.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Adora said. It was supposed to be grumbled, but Adora was just so glad to see Catra alive and well that she couldn’t bring herself to be grumpy. Catra bumped her shoulder into Adora’s and they walked in a surprisingly comfortable silence for a few beats.

“Have you figured out what to say?” Adora finally asked.

Catra let out a little chuckle, “Not really,” she admitted. “But Scorpia thought it would be a good idea if we came,” Catra paused and shoved her hands into the pockets of her suit. “Scorpia had a couple of friends from before that she wanted to see, and Entrapta wanted to see how different things would be at a celebration post-Horde.”

“And what about you?” Adora asked.

Catra pursed her lips, “I guess…” she glanced at Adora, “I guess I wanted to see you.”

Adora’s heart fluttered, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Catra breathed, and it sounded like she’d been holding that in for a while. “I wanted to see you. I really wanted to see you.”

Adora stopped them from walking, turning Catra to face her. “Catra, I—” her voice cracked, “Catra, I missed you everyday. When news reached Bright Moon that you’d gone missing, I—” Adora swallowed. “It was the worst day of my life.”

Catra’s eyes finally met Adora’s and Adora hadn’t realized how much she needed that until just this second. Catra’s mis-matched eyes glittered under the shine of tears, the light from the crystal chandeliers bathing her in wonderful golden light.

“Adora,” Catra sighed, “I couldn’t—I didn’t—” her voice stuttered and she closed her eyes, a single tear falling. Adora wiped it away and Catra’s eyes fluttered open. “I was so angry, Adora. I didn’t want to say something I’d regret, and hiding from you was so much easier than facing you.”

Adora shook her head, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Catra.”

“I do,” Catra said, “I do. Scorpia says that I have to verbalize my feelings. I can’t just hold it in anymore.” Catra levelled Adora with a stare, “I need to tell you this.”

Adora nodded after a few beats. “Okay,” she nodded again, “Okay, I’m listening.”

Catra sighed and nodded again. “I missed you, Adora. I missed you every day, but when you left you broke my heart. And then we were literal enemies for years.” She looked away briefly. “When we were with the Horde, I always felt like I was never enough. Never enough for you, never enough for Shadow Weaver, never enough for the team. And when you leaved you proved me right.

“Well, no, you proved Shadow Weaver right, because she was the only one who thought I wasn’t enough. And I think that was the worst part. Because as long as you were there, I was enough for you.” Catra sighed. “That’s why I never joined you back then.”

“I—” Adora started, then stopped. “I never meant for you to feel like that.” Then Adora laughed, “But I was an idiot. I honestly never knew what the Horde was doing, and I never realized how back Shadow Weaver was to you. I never knew there was anything better beyond they Fright Zone.” Adora wiped a tear off of her own cheek. “And I’m so sorry I didn’t get you out of there sooner.”

“It’s—” Catra cut herself off, “I forgive you.”

Adora smiled and threaded her fingers through Catra’s.

“I have to say, your entrance was pretty dramatic,” Adora teased.

Catra rolled her eyes, “Did you expect anything less?”

“I shouldn’t have,” Adora laughed. They stared at each other for a few beats, Adora just drinking in the sight of Catra before her. “You look amazing. I love the piercing.”

Catra smirked and her ear twitched, “It was Scorpia’s idea.” She brought her other hand up to fiddle with the earring. “You look pretty nice, too. You’ve got the whole princess thing down pat by now, huh?”

Adora laughed a little, a little pang going through her at the mention of Scorpia. “Yeah, I guess I do,” Adora smoothed one of her hands down the front of her dress. Adora cleared her throat and licked her lips, “Are you and Scorpia together?”

Catra sent Adora an extremely confused look, “What?”

Adora ducked her head and looked away as she felt her face grow warm. “Are you two—” she cleared her throat, “You know, together? Like—dating.”

“What?” Catra said again, “Dating? No!” Catra blushed and rubbed her palms on her pants. “We’re—she’s like my sister, oh my god.”

Adora sighed, a feeling of relief rushing through her so intense Adora thought she might need to sit down. “Oh, cool, yeah, sorry.”

“Why would you even ask that?” The fur on Catra’s tail was standing up, and Adora really missed that.

Adora chuckled, “I just—you were talking a lot about her, and I just thought maybe you two were—”

“Well we’re not so stop talking about it, oh my god,” Catra sounded mortified and it was kind of funny. Adora hid her giggles behind her hand.

“Why are you laughing at me?” Catra hissed.

“You’re just—” Adora gestured at Catra, “I missed you. I missed this.”

Catra blushed more, her ears standing straight up. “Yeah, well—” Catra twitched her ears down, “I missed this, too.”

They stared at each other for a few beats before Adora said, “I love you.” The words slipped out, but they felt right. Adora would never take them back, even if Catra didn’t want them.

Catra’s shoulders relaxed, and a slow smile curled over her face. “I love you, too.”

And when they kissed, it felt like going home.

[carcinized]

Okay tell me the magic powers I wanna know

oh boy. theyre the magic powers of a) heightened intuition and b) weird coincidences like seriously what the FUCK

[warning for like. uhhh superstitious stuff, talk of paranormal stuff, just,,, weird coincidences??? yeah]

so heightened intuition is kind of what i consider the weird coincidences that could have been my subconscious mind putting pieces of information together and only sharing half the conclusion with my conscious mind. picking up on maybe four things i KNOW, then reaching a vague conclusion that turns out to be correct without informing me WHY.

for example, a few days ago my cousins and i were hanging out in the dark under the stars (we were camping, thats why i was gone!! :D) and kinda just hanging out and talking about life. which came to superstition and then being spiritual--my cousins use like. hippie crystals as placebos, kind of (this is a different story but essentially while they dont believe they have magic properties, they use them as ways to channel confidence, happiness, etc. consciously, if that makes sense). and my eldest cousin knows a lot about different types!!!

and she starts talking about how some of them are weird, and she says the word "moldavite" and all my hair stands on end and i WHIRL around to check behind me (nothing was there dw). she goes on to inform me that moldavite is the weirdest, most sketchy crystal--it's supposed to suck negative energy out of your life, and there are hundreds and hundreds of stories of moldavite rings breaking clean in half or disappearing or other things. when that happens, a bit negative thing seems to disappear from people's lives. but she made it sound sketchy as hell and sufficiently freaked me and my other cousin out, no weirdass hair on end needed!!!

why i consider this to be intuition, not fully a coincidence, was that she WAS going into the weird side of crystals, and she said that. why i consider it WEIRD is that my hair STOOD ON FUCKING END. which doesn't happen to me all that often anyways? when i get scared i cry, not get goosebumps. and the fact that i felt the need to look behind me, its WEIRD!!! its not something i know how to explain, which is why i say its more than just my brain being smart. i dont really call it magic, but it's something weird. and this happens a LOT.

another example of the intuition was when i was nine, my school took a field trip to mission solano. mission solano was a mission built by the spanish in california that essientally enslaved natives to the region and forced them to convert to christianity. hundreds died there. and i knew that. however, when they took us into the church to do a mini service to make it feel more authentic, i started silently sobbing through the whole thing. for no reason other than i was utterly terrified of some unknown menace. i also cried in the courtyard when we walked past plaques with the names of people who died. sobbed. no one else seemed affected.

i found out last december when i got into buzzfeed unsolved that the church is supposed to have a demon in it and the courtyard has had multiple spottings of a ghost of a bear in it.

THATS FUCKING WEIRD RIGHT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THATS WEIRD??????

but it's possible that my brain put together hey!!! lots of people died here!! there could be restless spirits!!! thats scary!!! cry!!!! yk??? but theres that element to it thats just WEIRD.

anyways on to the full on coincidences i cant explain with ANYTHING. for example, when i was... hm, eight, nine, ten ish??? idk, but it was storming and i was taking a shower and the lights flickered a tiny bit!!! and i got all excited because i used to like power outs, and i got out quick and got dressed. as i was walking down the stairs, i hopped down from the bottom step to the floor of the hallway and sang "i hope the power goes ou-" and the power went out as my feet hit the floor and i said out. THATS WEIRD. THATS SO FUCKING WEIRD. like yeah it was stormy and i saw the lights flicker, but ON??? THE??? WORD??? AND MY STOMP??? WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. I DONT UNDERSTAND, UNIVERSE.

and i guess i cant prove any of those stories, but i have one ON TUMBLR. A FULL COINCIDENCE. I HAD LITERALLY ZERO INDICATIONS OR POWER FOR THIS.

so on august 2nd, i posted "pspspspsp tubbo you want to post your song to spotify soooooo bad ooooooooooo" at 3:08 pm PST. normal post right? well then at 8:31 pm PST that SAME DAY he posts "4:31 AM Update my song is done and im recording the music video strap in..." on twitter. blah blah yeah its fandom its cringe i dont CARE its fucking WEIRD ITS WEIRD???? not kidding just over five hours after i posted that he announced its done. thats WEIRD. THATS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

and then theres lots of other examples of this but in the interest of not making this post go on forever and ever we'll leave it here. i would say a coincidence usually smaller than those happens around once a day to me??? probably at least bsddsb

anyways that's my magic power :DD people seem to be creeped out by it but as long as i'm not having a really bad day with derealization i usually find it quite nice--the universe is so connected if only you let yourself find the dots. :]

[scribbledoll]

i feel so empty. i set fun goals for myself and meet them but i just keep feeling so empty. nothing makes me feel really Happy. hanging out with my one friend helps, but what happens when they go offline? i dont have anything. social media used to make feel better,

but coming on here and twitter is just.... idk. more reminders of how lonely, hated and worthless i am. i can really just disappear from here and there and no one would think "huh, havent heard from them in a while, is everything okay?". so ... i dont mean anything here, do i?

i doubt anyone will read these posts and it will just prove my point. i dont even know if anyone actually DOES read it because theres nothing here that says "hey, some of your friends actually saw this! you're not really alone!" but theres not. 

theres nothing to let me know im not being ignored or avoided. and honestly.... if i got more social here again, i dont know what it would do for me. would having all of you love me and all of us being close friends.. would that make me happy?

i dont know. i feel like youre all just better off without me. i have no real evidence, but there's no real evidence to the contrary either. nothing but quiet. so im free to draw whatever suicidal conclusions i want to.

i dont know. i really want to end it tonight. i dont know why exactly. i just do. i dont have a plan just ... idk. not an urge or desire, but i guess a gravity. its inevitablely going to happen. i cant escape it so ive accepted it.

my life is only going to end in suicide. its the only future i can envision for myself. and i doubt it will have an impact on your life. its cruel for me to even talk about it here. i guess i want to stick around a bit longer. find a reason to.

but its futile and i know it. so theres no point. the kindest thing i can do is commit suicide in complete and utter silence. drift away from everyone's lives. im sorry for being so loud all the time.

im not okay, but im 90% sure im not going to hurt myself, so you can ignore me without feeling guilty about it. sorry for the bother..

[percy-pierre]

so im blogging into a void here and thats cool thats what i want. but i dont really like the direction any of my platforms are taking me,, if that makes any sense. i  honestly want to just display who i am more if that makes any sense. ive been so on and off on every platform.

so i need to remake some things 

is my twitter?? maybe or i just want to be more present on there

 insta i would like to post more pictures but i don’t want anyone i know irl to see them, not until im ready to share

i need to redo this, i have had my tumblr for five years, i haven’t had an increase of followers, i dont post on this one, i spend more time on my other account than this one.

i feel like my life is a mess tbh and i just want something to be semi-coherent 

so ive remade my insta and plan to post some pictures today

ive tried to tweet more personal stuff (or i will after i finish my bias thread, i have a stan twt don’t judge)

and i think i will remake on here, idk how to do that really but i think i need to just figure out what i want to post on here? so basically all of my posts will disappear if i figure out how,,

i dont want any of my past memory on here i might just reblog it all onto one of my many saved blogs,,,, for me.

[heavyyhearts-blog]

actually heres my side

“ first, before getting to real stuff, aya has done this to other people in the past too. when she talked about them to me she said they abused her or abandoned her suddenly. i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off. i don’t have permission to post these logs so out of respect i won’t put them here. “

ive never been very clear in talking about my past experiences with most people. you make this sound as if every person that's ever "abandoned me" were all "abused" by me, when that's not the case. have i acted in shitty ways to some people? yes, but it never had anything to do with me being abandoned, at any point. one of these people, actually straight up disappeared from my life, and i have no idea why. they disappeared off skype and i havent seen them since. we had no problems between eachother whatsoever. a different example i can think of for someone i was talking about? they left because i was too stressful to be around. as in, i always complained too much and that kind of thing and it was too much to be around. i didnt even know them very long.  another example of a person i mentioned with that: they had really bad schizophrenia and like, trauma issues, and what happened there? they'd randomly like? actually start basically splitting on me and getting extremely angry at me out of nowhere for no reason, which i tried to be really tolerable of, until things basically got too much for either of us to handle and after a bit of dumb drama, we separated with , i believe, no hard feelings.

my point being? when i say "ive been abandoned by a lot of people" or whatever, im not literally claiming that i was abused by literally everyone and im some huge victim, lol. that last example? you could probably say i was abused due to the level of pent up anger they were throwing at me, , unprovoked

“ i’ve only talked to one of these people, but they confirmed that aya actually abused, and then stalked them when they cut her off “

first of all, this happened literal years ago. second of all, this person is still full of shit and i can't believe they still insist all of these bullshit lies. "aya stalked me" i hadnt visited your blog for months, i'd literally forgotten about you, yet you somehow still had it set in your head that i was "stalking" you. i wanted to remake my blog for a multitude of reasons, and one of them being, a more back of my mind thing, was, i didnt want you viewing my blog. so i remade. and, like, 2-3 days later, i got paranoid that you had somehow found my new blog, entirely new, so i asked my friend to go see if my new url was on there, because i didnt want to go back on your blog myself. and sure enough, there it was, my new url, even though i hadn't given it out to anyone or posted it anywhere, meaning you literally searched through notes of a post or something along those lines to find it. yeah ive explained this so many times now its fun :) not to mention your shitty friend(s) that would constantly twist my words around and lie saying i was doingthings that i didnt. and your only "proof" was logs of talking shit about me behind my back to one of my friends, you had no screenshots of me doing anything, because guess what, i never did it. wow. "i dont have screenshots because i deleted them all" okay bud. anyway

and now here's my main issue with everything: you are "calling me out" for things we have already personally talked about, that we either resolved, or i apologized for/said that i would try to stop doing so i can better myself which i have actually done? so i literally do not understand why youre calling me out for shit as if im some malicious person trying to hurt people that's just completely incapable of getting better or whatever. lets start

“i’ve tried to cut her off several times, both by trying to talk and express my want to stop talking to her first and by just blocking/ignoring her on everything. i made it clear i wanted to stop talking the first couple of times. she will spam and beg me and make new accounts if she has to. once ive added her back however she’s used that against me”

okay youre calling me out for this but you admitted what you did was fucked up too? and i dont know what else to even say to this other than im going to try to stop getting so attached to people like that so i maybe dont have such bad mental breakdowns every time i thnk someone close to me is leaving like sorry i cant. help feeling that way or control this thing specifically unless i just dont get attached like that at all, which is my fault.

[x] [x] [x]

here, you post a completely out of context rant from me, where i got mad at something you did that you literally admitted was fucked up. full context!

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

you even told me you had no idea what you were talking about with any of it.

“ one of the times that we weren’t talking she DMd my twitter mutuals asking them to screenshot my recent tweets. “

i told you my reason for it. i was extremely paranoid that you were talking shit about me behind my back and i wanted to know if you were or not, even though i did it in a really shitty way. i instantly felt so beyond terrible that i had done that. i was sobbing the entire time i was trying to apologize for how fucked up and wrong it was of me to do that, and even apologized for it again later after it had happened already. because i wanted to make sure you knew how sorry i was for it. i cant take something like that back.

[x] [x]

“recently, after getting so upset with me for doing the same thing in the past, she randomly blocked me on everything and refused to talk to me. i would understand if she hadn’t previously gotten so mad and upset at me for the exact same thing. “

?? i split really bad just like i already have been, due to , as i've already exlpained, the nonstop bad things we've had between us for months, to the point i havent been able to talk to you like normal anymore, because just seeing you pisses me off and everything you say/do will just piss me off. i cant help that. its not my fault. i cant just not split like that because we've had fucked up problems for months, that, guess what, shouldnt even be public here for all reasons ive already stated! but i also did it just because ive been deciding i need to get away from you for good, that i dont WANT to talk to you at all anymore. sucks to be treated the way you treat others right.

“ i posted on my twitter saying i wanted to drink and she instantly messaged me begging and spamming me not to “

and everything else like stalling, pressuring you etc. this is still. we talked about this. i said sorry. i got better about it. why do i have a callout.

[x] [x]

like this is literally all just trying to make me look bad in ways that i'm not. nice try, though!

“ when i cc’d bakugou and she tried to make me explain my trauma to make it Valid “

you're trying to make me look bad again. i was just asking because i was anxious wanted to know the reasoning for it and im sorry for pressing it at all but that doesnt mean i was trying to make you explain it so it could be "valid" shut the fuck up lol i even explained to you afterwards why it made me so uncomfortable and that it didnt bother me anymore, that i thought you were just blindly cc'ing him for no real reason like i just assumed it wasnt a coping thing or anything and thats my fault but??? youre trying to make me look bad for it so??? i'd even keep sending you fanart of him like.

[x]

“ she was extremely dependent on me and would spam me if i fell asleep before she woke up, she’d got upset and started splitting on me because i didn’t return her feelings of attraction. “

wat...

“ second, she’s blaming everything on her BPD and “not being able to help it,” or “can’t control herself” “

well, as you can clearly see, ive been anything but that??? but if you wanna keep telling yourself that, go ahead. have i said things LIKE that before? yes, when i was freaking out, over certain things i actually can't help, for example: abandonment trauma??? and like i said before: i need to try to not get so attached to people in the first place so that doesnt happen anymore! otherwise, should some sort of situation like that happen again, i can't handle getting that level of upset. so i prevent that by not getting that level of attached at all. like sorry but theres certain things nobody can help, even you. you're just trying to make it sound like this entire thing has been nothing but "i cant help it"

and lastly, we can't forget the fact that, for a long time, you wouldn't tell me anything. literally anything. i would repeatedly ask you. "what do i do that bothers you what am i doing wrong" etc and all you'd ever say was "idk" 95% of the time. i had absolutely no idea that for the longest time, i had been saying a lot of manipulative, shitty things and acting bad and etc, slash i had no idea that some of my episodes were actually affecting you that badly until way too late.

when you first told me that i had been acting so shitty, through a jpeg meme that was making fun of me, did i realize how awful i was being. i honest to god never had any idea and i explained this to you countless times. that i was  oblivious/i can be oblivious to shitl ike that and that i need you to tell me, otherwise I WONT KNOW.

nice meme. :) but yeah clearly this is still an accurate representation of me, right?

[x] [x]

yeah, you got me though. im a toxic, abusive piece of shit that will never get better, all i do is hurt others, i can't change, ive never apologized, ive never gotten better. totally

and since we're playing this game,

and now that i've said all this, i have nothing else to say. i can't make anyone believe me, but if you do, thanks.