#like idk how to clean them up since all of them start with some variation of “i think” LMAO

[charlotte-family-apologist]

I'm still alive y'all I just don't know what to post here at the moment :P

[waterloggedchest]

Finn the Fishbowl~ "That was clam-orous!" "Can't wait to seal ya later!" "You're being reeeeeel quiet today"

FINNIEEEEEE FINNFINNFINFINFIFNFIFNFNFJJFBFFJJDKSNDHSJFGGF~ Below the cut you can find my HCs for him!!

This is the first of many references I'll make of the cast! Upcoming you can expect Gigi & Shrimpo <3

THEME SONG~ A Trout, No Doubt — The Bean Tones

AMAB masc agender aka libraboy + it/he prns.

Omni ace demiromantic.

Blue colour <3, no text variation.

Dating Gigi and Shrimpo! More about that later.

When he gets flustered/embarrassed/really mad the water in his head starts boiling (poor Barnaby Wilikers be getting cooked 💀).

Autistic as shit.

Super confident, blunt and forward when in a group, gets shy asf when alone with people he likes (cough Gigi & Shrimpo cough cough). Though he gains his confidence back after starting to date them.

Has some kinda speech impediment due to his missing tooth or just speaks funny in some way.

If he wore shoes they'd either be anti-slip + steel-toed, crocs or flip flops :P.

If you tap his glass he gets dizzy and disoriented, like tapping the aquarium of a fish.

He also gets very disoriented if all the water is taken out of his head, but he does adjust after a bit. This also applies to him getting flustered/embarrassed/etc. since the water starts evaporating. While the water in his head is not essential for his survival, the rest of the water in his body is like blood.

Under high stress his glass cracks a bit, heals over time (just slap a dand-aid on it!)

Scraps sometimes just calls him over to clean her brushes in his head 💀.

He'd let Pebble sip water out of its head on a hot day.

Gigi styles him like a cocktail; with a straw, umbrella, orange slice n all (ngl missed opportunity for the actual prismatic pal skin).

Both him and Teagan need to put in a big ahh cork to go to sleep [This is canon n confirmed by qwel, I just wanted to add it here cuz funny].

On good terms with: Teagan, Rodger, Brightney, Goob, Sprout, Poppy, Connie & Dandy.

His friends are: Gigi (qpp <33333), Shrimpo (boyfie in denial), Scraps (moot friend with Gigi), Shelly, Yatta, Boxten, Looey, Razzle (best buddies, supposedly canon).

These people despise him: GLISTEN, Vee, Cosmo, Dazzle.

Anyone I haven't mentioned uhhhhh I'll get to it when I do their ref sheets.

He doesn't hate anybody, he's too bbg for that ❤️

He's Poppy's brother cuz like... she's a bubble.

NGL likes to be praised a lot (good boy— WHO SAID THAT??).

Has spilled all of his water over Gigi/Shrimpo multiple times when cuddling (tries limiting his pda now, he refuses to wear a cork in public).

Smooch giver n enjoyer. I imagine him to bend down to smooch Gigi/Shrimpo on the forehead and giggling, repeatedly.

He does NOT eat fish. If you eat fish in front of him or even just mention doing so he gets upset. Doesn't like meat very much either but that's just a preference. He can forgive Scraps for it tho, she has the cat-like creature pass.

His toon room is half normal and half pool, his bed is an inflatable mattress in the water; anchored there with chains so it doesn't float around a lot. IDK WHO I PARTIALLY STOLE THIS FROM I THINK IT WAS A DW HCS ASK.

DESIGN NOTES~

His torso is see-through like those transparent frogs and fish! He gets shy about it tho so he's covered up 90% of the time. Due to this his blood is just uh... water?

His head is hard glass and doesn't break easily, as mentioned above the rest of his body is like transparent fish :].

Has small scales all over his body, they're soft tho?? idk how to explain this mannnnn.

The darker parts in his tail resemble the bones inside! Just like the torso + some random splotches to make it look less empty loll.

His regular pants are like,, skin tight and waterproof?? Like some kinda swimming suit IDK. I still draw paw-like feet on him cuz i think it's cute :3.

Body hair mghfhmfhmfgmfmh....,,,.,,.,

While in the reference it isn't shown, the prismatic pal version has like... an iridescent coating? His scales slightly change colour depending how you look at him.

SHIP INFO~

Him and Gigi started dating pretty early on, they just got along really well. They are both very affectionate (except for pda as mentioned in the headcanons above) and are pretty open about their relationship. Gigi was also getting closer to Shrimpo, even if he hated Finn with all his heart. Due to Gigi dating the both of them and needing to give them both attention, they just got pushed together for it to be easier for them. Finn liked Shrimpo quite a bit already and was very nervous around him, feeling the need to fidget and distract himself. At times he acted a bit irrationally around Shrimpo and this causes them to get into...questionable situations; random hugs, caressing Shrimpo's tail, grabbing his hand, trying to get closer to him, etc. Shrimpo was just in denial the whole time, he had heavy internalised h0mophobia and refused to accept his polyamorous status.

At first, Shrimpo just didn't react to Finn's advances and looked at him weird most times; when it happened around Gigi, they just decided to push them together even more—Inviting them both to group activities and bringing them both on dates together. Finn just got clingier and Shrimpo got more frustrated for letting him do so. Gigi and Scraps started plotting even more to make them date, and since she needed an extra pair of hands for a project (and needed to clean her brushes in SOMEBODY's head) she invited them over to help. Finn & Shrimpo really didn't do anything the whole time, Gigi and Scraps were the only ones working, they instead sat there in a corner to chat a bit. Shrimpo accidentally let the fact that he didn't actually hate Finn slip out, after that their interaction became a whole lot more awkward.

Shrimpo tried to damage control by immediately doubling down with his regular jabs at Finn. But seeing how he started to recede and be nervous again made Shrimpo feel guilty; he stopped talking to him all-together for a few weeks. Gigi had to step in to bring them close again, physically locking them together in a room forcing them to talk. Shrimpo had to apologise and promise to never hurt Finn again, it was awkward but they made amends and held each other for a bit.

Gigi always thought that it'd be cute for them to get along, especially due to Shrimpo's initial commitment to "hating" Finn. They wanted the best for all three of them, and knowing how jealous Shrimpo can get of others this was the best option. Over time, they got closer and closer, Shrimpo started to respond better to Finn's advances. He gave in and started to be affectionate with Finn like he did with Gigi, not minding the three of them cuddling together; the awkwardness of him being there gone.

This will get updated over time, hopefully! Seal ya later!

Last updated: 27/05/2025

[kmlottin]

i have sooo many questions answer the ones you want too

1. do you smoke/drink regularly?

2. do people sometimes annoy you on the anonymous questions?

3. do you have a favorite book? perhaps a smut one?

4. What kind of job do you have, and kinda what is your dream job?

5. do you live alone? if yes, do you have a pet?

6. how are you feeling my bby? i feel like everyone are venting & renting about their days and everything, but you end up not saying anything about your day and feelings☹️ feel free to do it now, whether youre sad, happy or mad(and so on)

7. whats your style? in clothing

8. what countries have you visited?

9. Is your relationship healthy? is he treating you nicely? (because u deserve only the best)

10. is your hair naturally jet black? i ask cause mine is dyed lol😭 i died it purple at first then red and now black since a few months but the color is fading. (i use those dyes that arent permanent but the black one was like henna or however its called idk the thing that u put on ur hair and it looks like horse shit)

11. Whats the perfect age for you, to date?

12. Do you have favorite perfumes?

13. what products (makeup) do you use?

14. Do you think you’ve met your soulmate or its just a passing person?

15. Its not a question js wanted to say we are all here for you if you are ever sad or if somebody hurts you we will gang bang them..if u ever feel sad feel free to open up to us we will try to give the best advices ever to our girly. Silent battles are the hardest just cuz you dont talk about something doesnt mean you’re not going through it❤️‍🔥 Youre extremely loved💕

This is so cute!! This took me ages to write up as well 😭

1. okay I don’t ever smoke, I’ll do shisha on events like fights nights but that’s about it. Drinking can be every week during summer depending on events but overall maybe once or twice a month? Sometimes it’s 0

2. And nah everyone’s really sweet, if anything might be interpreted wrong I just won’t post it

3. My favourite book is little women, read it as a young teen and it resonated so much with me at the time

4. I write a lot about people - I’m starting to hate it lowkey… but I want to work with people and problem solving but not a therapist so idk what the solution is

5. I live with my family and 0 pets, my mums a clean freak

6. I’m honestly really good at dismissing things small or big, I really go through life not thinking so I’m honestly fine

7. I guess street style? Baggy t shirts baggy jeans, I honestly try to be modest during the day my main outfit is my hair and jewellery.. night outs are usually corsets and mini skirts

8. Im so boring with just Europe 😭 my sister lived in Paris for so many years so my holidays were spent being with her, and then I have family in Spain so spent some time with them too. Also Pakistan

9. It’s very healthy and he’s a really good man, I’m honestly the red flag in the relationship 😭 he knows it too, but men will always love the chase

10. Yeah I’ve never touched it and Henna is super temporary girl and has orange/red undertones 😭 dye it dark blue if you want it jet black

11. I’ve been in two long term relationships so idek 😭 but I recommend after university for other people and casually date before then figure out what you want to eat

12. I don’t really have a favourite perfume, I always switch them up and buy new depending on the season, for winter it was scandal by Jean Paul

For spring it was Gucci - flora (groundbreaking)

For summer I bought goddess by Burberry

Then in my bag I have the kylie Jenner cosmic

In my car for runarounds I have some variation of the Ariana grande perfumes - they’re all amazing and so affordable too

13. I use nars sheer glow or loreal true match foundation but i rarely ever wear foundation. Revolution concealer as a corrector, huda beauty concealer, mac powder foundation on top - it blends everything together trust meeee, then I have a a drug store pressed powder - any seems fine to me tbh and huda beauty loose powder for nights out. Morphe mascara and they have a contour palette that works so well for contour eye shadow blush ect. Lips - nyx lip liners and Dior lip glosses but I love the elf ones too. I’ve been doing my makeup in my car recently driving to work it’s been messy

14. Idk if I’m someone who does soulmates or true love, I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied but my man would genuinely be my soulmate if I had to decide

15. You’re so sweet my love, thank you so much for asking and I’m due a crash out, I’ll make sure to say when I have one I love you xoxoxox

[bvannn]

Weekly Update February 2, 2024

I think I’m mostly better. The medicine I take is once a week, and it’s supposed to last me all week. Last week it brought me through about Tuesday, this week I was good until Wednesday, hopefully next week it’ll last the full week. I’m doing fine today too because Fridays are when I administer it. I think I’ll be fine real soon. Unfortunately I am swamped with homework, but I can manage it pretty soon.

This week as far as art projects was mainly me messing with music. I found the trick to getting good electronic instruments, and that is a little free plugin called Krush. I don’t know why music software companies like mortal kombat so much that they spell everything like that, but the ones that do make nice stuff so I won’t judge. I also started fiddling with Melodies for some instrumental themes for OCs, Shaun and Romeo are first up for that, planning to make progress tonight. Cleaned up my other project files as well and found a nice bass and drum line I must’ve made while I was delirious on medicine after surgery bc I don’t remember making it but it sounds nice so I’ll keep it. I’m the process of cleaning up a Zelda medley, I’ll probably post the piano version of that alongside the full instrumental. Finally, another one that’s set for vocals even though I technically haven’t finished the first one. I’m impulsive. The first one is just missing vocals and lyrics really so once I’m in a good headspace I’ll try to lyric out both of these in one go and fiddle with vocaloid after I know what words I want.

I also finally started prodding at Vocaloid 5. I’m going with v5 over v4 because it has a more user friendly UI and I’m under the impression that the attack and release feature is unique to v5, although I may be wrong on that. I’m still not sure exactly which voicebanks I’ll want to use, obviously the Kagamines would be a good choice because having a male and female option packaged together is cool, but the Zolas are also a package deal and have a bit more variation amongst them. I’m not sure how well they do English though, since they’re not built for it. I mean I guess people won’t really care, people still seem to be big fans of the Vflower English songs even though she’s also not built for english *or the genre most of those songs are* and they eat them up anyway. The Zolas are also less marketable than the Kagamines or Vflower, though. Also I guess Miku is an option and probably an inevitability if I do start making vocaloid music but I don’t need to start with her, you know? Idk maybe I’ll keep working on song stuff and consider which vocal fits the best, maybe I’ll draw them a bit too, see how much demand there is.

I haven’t been doing any comic work because I’ve still been sick, plus now I’m waffling since I don’t have a big animation project anymore and I guess I could fill the void by making that project an animation, but I’m still unsure. It might be smart to do both, and at a minimum my thumbnailing out the comic makes sure that everything is paced correctly and the dialogue flows. Tonight I’m hoping to pick back up where I left of before I got sick: I had finished the first third of the first ‘episode’, and was moving on to act 2.

Today especially I’ve been bit by the TTRPG bug again and kinda want to write out and draw stuff for that, but normally I do my best conceptual writing while I’m delirious in bed after my sleep medicine is kicked in but before I fall asleep. I stayed up late last night alternating between chemistry homework and playing ghost trick so tonight should be a good night for writing. Maybe I’ll get more comic outline writing done too, who knows.

And finally I also just really need to get more drawings done. I posted those epithet challenge ones the other day, which people seem to like. And I really want to do a drawing of Lynne, I like her because she reminds me of an OC of mine, can’t say which one or why though because that’s a spoiler for both characters. I really need to do more art in general, so I threw together a wheel of small little doodles to do, but all that still relies on me having free time, which is a lot scarcer now that I’m working. Still, if I get back into the habit of chugging out those comic pages, I can probably do a little more.

I’m still not sure what to do tonight. I keep flipping back and forth over whether I want to do music or drawing, and end up with little in the way of posting. I did find out that I can post audio to tumblr easy now, so I’ll try to do that more often. Idk. I’m exhausted from today specifically, and this past week has been busy, but I’m hoping it’ll die down and I can do more this upcoming week.

[non-main-branch]

I was going to just put a short reply to @romanarose —explaining web scraping— but then it got long and I started wondering about methods of combatting scraping…

Web scraping is basically using a program to collect data from websites. You can collect html files and use tools to parse them and make their contents more human-readable or organized in a custom structure (such as… flight information, or the birthdays of all historical figures). Essentially, you can take the actual data out of the html formatting documents that it’s embedded in, and if you can identify patterns in the structure of the documents then you can target specific information and collect it en masse.

It’s pretty easy to do, and. Quite frankly, it can be fun, when done ethically. But scraping to feed ai training algorithms is not ethical.

So. They’re scraping ao3 for generative ai training data. They are probably discarding author notes—that would be trivial to do with a highly structured document like html.

Actually. Okay, so. There are characters (as in. Text. Symbols) that don’t get displayed in a way humans would notice… I wonder if someone could write a program that takes in text and adds noise to it that the computers can see and become confused by but that humans wouldn’t be… like those anti-ai treatments done to images. They add noise to the data that makes it less interpretable by machines but doesn’t significantly alter humans’ ability to perceive the image. I’m not an expert on text encoding though, so I don’t know what an implementation like that would look like.

Okay so. A quick search…. I’m not finding anything specific to adding noise in text, but i am finding plenty of material on using noise (variation in data, a disruption to the signal in data) to disrupt ai training for other types of data, like i expected. I think it would be worth exploring, especially since there’s no way i could do an exhaustive search in fifteen minutes without access to research papers in databases.

I had some of the following thoughts, but I can’t think of a way to implement them without making the text extremely inaccessible for people using screen readers (probably. I don’t actually know how screen readers tend to be programmed, but there are technologically accessibility standards for a reason, so it would probably fuck it up).

Remember how early on, machine learning models were indicating that images of rulers had cancer in them, because the images of actual cancer (or. Whatever they were trying to identify) tended to have rulers in them to show the scale?

You know how people will say to add keywords into your resume so the resumé screening algorithms point to you as a good candidate? How some people suggest putting invisible text in your resumé, that humans can’t read but machines can, so it gets flagged? Or straight up putting something down like “ is an ideal candidate” in invisible text? Invisible to humans, that is.

I’m wondering if there are things like that

So yeah. Screen readers would have a hard time with that, I think.

Unless screen readers can be altered to filter out the noise. But that’s a much bigger task than scrambling some data. And also… someone might choose to read the text into their program with image processing algorithms. But having to cleaning the data like that would increase the hassle for AI-feeding scrapers, since the files would be larger and you’d be introducing more steps… idk. some thoughts in here. I have not the energy to do research.

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

[phoenixyfriend]

Togruta Marking Headcanons (Evolutionary and Epigenetic)

Okay, so the question is:

Do you think togruta markings are purely genetic or partly genetic and partly influenced by the environment?

e.g. a stressful adolescence leads to more complex markings/breakage

This conversation was had in large part on discord with @atagotiak and @dracothulhu.

Striation and Complexity

Now, my take comes entirely from Ahsoka having VERY complicated markings compared to Shaak, but we played around with it and had a lot of fun tangling out some headcanons that aren't really supported by canon, but aren't voided by it either. Also it makes time travel fun.

(Shaak Ti looks at time traveled Ahsoka and goes "Oh dear. You okay, honey?" The answer is always No.)

(This is actually EXACTLY why I was hoping there's a combined genetic/environmental factor, so any given time-travel Ahsoka has a different pattern, to some degree, from her younger self so that they can say "IDK, maybe we're cousins?" instead getting side-eyed for having Identical Marks.)

(Happy AU Ahsoka ends up with smooth rings instead of what almost looks like blue veins in marble? It would also probably make time-traveling Ahsoka’s bad future story seem a lot more real.)

Reference image:

So like these three with their clean lines and stuff probably grew up ok, as much as their lives suck now.

Some of the complexity of the markings is definitely genetic, especially with face markings. 14 yo Ahsoka has some significant complexity there already, and while she’s got early childhood trauma from that one time she was kidnapped, she otherwise seems to have been fairly happy and healthy as a child in the Temple.

On the other hand, her lekku markings do go from fairly smooth and even to really jagged looking.

My thoughts are that facial striation is indicative of stressors in childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood, but Montral/Lekku striation indicative of adulthood stressors (and maybe some late teens).

The adult/child distinction in striation is imo because their faces mostly stop growing after they hit adulthood, but there's more growth in the montrals and lekku.

So Shaak has a lot of striation on her montrals because adult Jedi Masters, with field work on the regular, encounter a lot of stressful situations (more dangerous missions, raising a padawan). But her childhood and adolescence, while occasionally adrenaline-heavy on missions with her Master, were usually no more stressful than one would get with, say, hunting lessons on Shili, so her markings end up very simple and blocky on her face and more detailed on her montrals and lekku.

If if we assume that the Montral tips are the later stressors showing, then it’s plausible Shaak Ti’s got a lot of little markings partly because of the stress of being a council member. Sure it’s not life threatening but the stress of a high-pressure administrative position is still stress.

(And the three ladies here probably start getting a little more fragmentation in the years after the Zygerria arc, assuming they survived.)

It doesn’t look like a lot, compared to Ahsoka at least, but there’s a moderate amount.

Between the beskar and the complex facial markings and lekku striations, I feel like other Togruta tend to give Ahsoka a lot of respect as a warrior.

Doesn't matter that she isn't wearing Akul teeth! Whatever! She clearly knows her shit!

It could be a byproduct of evolving as a communal species. Like yes, striation is good for hiding when you hunt, but seeing complex patterns on a child's face can indicate an unhealthy home life or otherwise invisible medical problems. In that context, Togruta in general watch out for complex facial patterns as a sign of child abuse.

(Obviously not foolproof but it seems like a reasonable option.)

A more stressful childhood could be indicative of low food security, and then evolution led to the marking complexity to make hunting easier in response. Tddlers and babies with early complexity might have had mothers with food insecurity or high adrenaline levels in pregnancy, too. It’d be difficult to pinpoint a specific pressure that caused it, but there’s definitely a lot of reasons it was advantageous to keep in the gene pool.

(Baby Anakin didn't know a lot of togruta growing up but I imagine most of them were heavily striated, so in those time-travel AUs, he doesn't understand the big deal with Fulcrum's markings until someone explains...)

(Slaves had stressful lives all around, and slavers liked it when togruta girls had complicated markings, they were considered Prettier, so this... worked out for them and Nobody Else.)

(If he noticed that other Togruta he’s seen since, like Shaak Ti or other Jedi or some civilians he’s met, seem to have less striation he maybe just assumed it was genetics and didn’t question it further?)

Montral Shape and Lekku Length

Another interesting thing is just the massive variation in montral shape.

My guess, personally, is that it's regional evolution. Did your ancestors live in an area with lots of trees, or was it more canyons, or maybe grasslands? It was an evolutionary reaction to how sound bounced around in your area.

In regards to lekku, even ignoring the live action stuff, Rebels Ahsoka has smaller lekku than Shaak Ti does. And some of that could be partly random chance and partly because Shaak Ti of age, but some people also think it’s partly malnutrition. I've personally been assuming it's just age and genetics, but...

We do see a significant lekku length disparity by gender, like these images:

To which I suggest:

...trans Ahsoka, whose lekku started growing out a little late because that's when she started estrogen (or the Togruta equivalent). There are a few male togruta with long lekku, but it seems pretty common for them to have short ones, so maybe they're transmasc.

[tobiosmilktea]

hey! i really love your headcanons! can i request osamu, atsumu, and sakusa with a female s/o who's into ballet? like how would they react when their s/o perform or how would they feel when they see their s/o put so much effort in her career as a ballerina. thanks before! 💖

ballerina girlfriend w/ osamu, atsumu, and sakusa

a/n: finally my years of binge watching the royal ballet youtube videos have come in handy ✨😌

— m. osamu

his guilty pleasure is watching ballet performances on youtube occasionally

honestly, it wasn’t his fault because you were the one who pulled up a video of the variation you were trying to learn on his account and all of a sudden he started getting ballet videos all over his recommendations

he doesn’t mind tho cause he finds them kinda relaxing

and whenever he watching a performance of one of the variations you’ve been working on, he’s genuinely shocked you could even do every move

he loves watching you practice whenever you’re not at the company

lowkey, osamu would probably be one of those people who don’t actually do the dance/sport but still point out if they made a mistake or not (like watching the olympics type beat)

“isn’t your leg on the forth attitude supposed to be devant??” or “it’s a forth position croise, maam.” or “i dunno, y/n, your bouree could be better” (i don’t know if any of this is correct btw 💀)

i think he watches a little too much royal ballet lmao

he’s really proud of you when he finds out you were promoted to principle as it’s one step closer to becoming a professional (once again idk if this is accurate)

it had been your dream since you started ballet so osamu has been really supportive of you the moment you two started dating

whenever you forget something in your kit or if it runs out (maybe like tiger balm to ease the soreness) know that osamu is on his way to save the day

he always asks if you’re feeling alright whenever he comes to pick you up from rehearsal cause he knows you like to give it your all when you’re dancing

unlike atsumu, osamu knows audience etiquette when watching your performances and only claps the absolute loudest whenever your variations are over

he tries to go to every performance you have no matter what, but he did have to miss one of your performances cause he was in tokyo for nationals

but he still supported you despite being five hours away

bonus: you sometimes get sick of osamu being nit-picky whenever he watches you practice so you make him learn a few ballet moves

he’s lowkey decent for someone who has never done ballet ngl despite almost rolling his ankle trying to land a pas de chat

— m. atsumu

homeboy thought he had it pretty hard balancing volleyball and school work but you honestly took the cake on this one

atsumu always knew that you were a hard worker and is usually really busy, but i guess he didn’t really notice that the majority of your time went into ballet when you weren’t focusing on school

he didn’t notice how much effort you put into your hobby until your ballet company’s performance was only two weeks away

literally the moment the school’s bell dismissed classes, you were already out of the classroom door trying to get to rehearsal on time considering you’re a principle and you wanted to warm up for the hours of practicing coming your way

there were days where you and atsumu only see each other during lunch breaks at school because your schedules often overlap

you two try your best seeing each other and sometimes surprise one another if someone’s practice ends up being shorter than usual or if the season isn’t in full swing yet

lowkey i could see atsumu leaving vb practice asap just to see you practicing

since homie is STRONK™️, he would help you break in your ballet shoes

his favorite part is when you let him beat the absolute crap out of the toe box (i.e hitting it against the concrete floor or stepping on it) so you can have a softer landing when you dance

however, sometimes you have to stop him from overdoing it our else the toe box is too weak to even support you anymore (it happened once and you didn’t have time to break in a new pair)

after a long days worth of practice, the ones where you could barely walk, atsumu would be there holding you up and walking with you everywhere

and this happens often even if you feel fine cause his practice always ends before yours so he’s always showing up at your ballet company to pick you up cause he’s a responsible bf

atsumu is such a supportive boyf, but definitely a loud one

the first performance he saw of yours (let’s say you did esmeralda’s variation) he would be clapping along to the beat as if he was in a russian audience

he ended up getting shushed at BUT when you did Don Quixote, he was having the time of his life clapping during the act 1 finale when you were doing pirouette’s across the stage

after each variation that you are in, he’s so loud like 🥺🥺

wow we love a supportive mans

afterwards he would give you the biggest bouquet he could afford and takes you out to a celebratory dinner cause he thinks you’re absolutely amazing

bonus: he would try some basic ballet moves but he’s honestly not that flexible

his ankles said bYE

— s. kiyoomi

sakusa’s super respectful of your hobbies and that you’re generally a busy person when it comes to it

he tries to spend as much time with you even if it has to do with ballet

whenever he’s over at your house and you’re rehearsing a variation, he loves watching you even if you do mess up

sometimes you would ask him to double check what the next move is just to tease him cause you know he doesn’t know shit about ballet

“sakusa, what’s after the arabesque?”

and he’s like “um... i think you go on your toes after that”

wow thanks for the help dude,, very descriptive

unlike the twins, his support is more on the quieter side

he isn’t one that’s into ballet like osamu or loud and chaotic like atsumu, but you’re aware of his support

he tries to attend every one of your performances and often times gives you massages after a very harsh rehearsal

sakusa even lets you ramble about the shit that goes on in that ballet company of yours and he acts like he understands half of the stuff you’re saying

“can you believe that yuri got principle instead of naho?? literally, naho did the sugar plum pas de deux with haruto better than yuri did. like her bourees are soo clean, i’m jealous”

principle?? pas de deux?? bouree?? lol just nod and agree sakusa,, we’ve all been there

this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t try his best to learn everything that you’re saying as you practically did the same for him with volleyball

you deadass learned how to play (not that you’re any good), learned all the positions, the possible calls, and all the rules just so you could watch his games and understand them

sakusa likes things to be mutual so he tries learning balle terms but all the french is kinda throwing him off a bit

despite going to a lot of your performances, you don’t push him into going since you know how he feels about crowds and such

especially when everyone is walking in or out once the show is over, you know sakusa is going to get overwhelmed and you always tell him that he doesn’t have to go

but he wants to prove to you that he’s a good bf that’s supportive so he pushes through either way

on the plus side, it’s easy to spot sakusa in the crowd cause he’s the only one wearing a mask

you don’t even have to see his face in order to know that he’s proud of you 

bonus: because sakusa is trying his hardest to know the basics of ballet, he basically forces you to teach him some moves

when you teach him all of the positions, he’s surprisingly good esp at fourth and fifth position

you knew he had flexible wrists but you didn’t know it also applied to his ankles too LMAO

[solkat-edits]

woah a pq sprite edit tutorial ft. mod kk (paint tool SAI)

MOD KK....: SO UH. this is primarily to help a pal of mine, but like i thought it’d be good to make a post / tutorial in general, so here’s a tutorial which features the process of how i did this dave

since i use sai, this is a tutorial mainly for sai, but you can follow along easily on other art programs since functions are similar and etc. the link to the sai i use can be found here. 

tutorial starts under the read more: 

BEFORE WE START, any sai users, here are my brush settings regarding lineart / linking, and in general, these are the settings I use for all my art and edits. Size wise, I usually draw with 1, but for line width, I’ll change between 1, 0.8, and 1.5.

1. So first and foremost (wow, look the way I’m typing got more formal), you want to open the sprite you want to edit on. Here I have Dave. A good resource for sprites / assets from PQ is from this blog, in case any one needs it. 

2. If you need to, make edits to the base. Usually, if not the hair, I’ll make an edit to the character’s shading colour or their face. In this instance, it’s going to be the latter. So in this picture, what you want to do is colour pick from his skin, make a new layer and on that layer,  you’ll ‘erase’ (draw over) his expression. 

2.1. Lower the opacity on the coloured over layer so that you can see his original expression- mainly I do this so I can see the proper placement of his facial features and such. Here, I’ll sketch the change I want. 

2.2. After it’s sketched out, I’ll line it proper and fill it in, and now he’s like smug (shame that it gets covered up by his bangs in the finished edit).

3. Now we’re to the fun part! Well, onto the more fun parts. Here is where we’ll start our sketching. Sketching isn’t mandatory, especially on smaller, minor edits such as changing shirt colours or adding small accessories, but if you want do things like drastically change their haircut, or to give them a new outfit entirely, sketching is probably a good idea. Anyways, lower the base’s opacity, and then  decide what kind of outfit you want to sketch on your base, and do it. 

4. After sketching, you’re gonna line! Lower the opacity on both the base and the sketch- though that’s probably a given. Completely optional, but I tend to put my layers in a folder set for organisation purposes. Also, please name your layers, it’ll help you good (OKAY SO LMAO. I forgot to take the screenshot of me mid lining, so I eyeballed all my finished lines out to make it look like it was incomplete.)

4.1: Anyways, yay! The lining’s complete. I know this is supposed to be a tutorial, but process photos are fun too. 

5. Now we’re onto pre colouring. I say pre colouring because this is like setting the base for colouring? Yeah. Anyways, I’ve made another folder set for colouring, pulled the base sprite into it, and then set a coloured background under the base for transparency and etc- I usually go with a colour which will contrast the piece’s main palette, which in this case, is blacks and shades of red. 

5.1. Now we’re going to put the base colour into the newly created lineart. What we’ll do here is turn the transparency on the base sprite down till it’s completely gone, and then we select every inside of the lineart.

5.2: With the base ‘white’ (the greyish white) colour from Dave’s original sprite, we’ll fill the lineart. 

5.3 However, after this, you’re going to want to check your transparency because it won’t always be perfect- actually, it won’t be perfect. Usually, you’ll get that small,  shitty white outline which overall imo ruins the piece when it’s transparent. 

5.4. What you’re going to want to do to rid of this, is- going back to 5.2, after you’ve filled it, and you still have the selection on, you’re going to reverse the selection (arrow pointing to it, ‘pologies for non sai users because I don’t know the equivalent), and then erase. It’ll seem like you’re just erasing the background, but I swear it’s worth it. 

5.5 See? Now it’s clean. Yay!!!

5.6 After that’s figured out, you’re going to want to redirect your attention back to the base sprite, and then erase all the shit that’s leftover from it, such as Dave’s sleeve which is poking out from the side, as shown in the pic. 

5.7 Bam. And now he’s all cleaned up proper and ready to roll. 

5.8 A completely optional step, but my favourite since I love lining. What I usually do, so that the lines look smooth(er), and more precise with the style, is that I ink it a bit to create line width variation in certain parts of the sprite, and also to create shadows.

6. Finally on colouring- I’m probably numbering all this shit wrong, but you know what, I sucked at math. Anyways, colouring- figure out your palette, and basically base colour parts of your sprite. The blackish part on the shirt is an airbrush texture. 

6.1. Tip: If you’re using dark greys or blacks, I’d recommend just picking the exact shades from other PQ sprites so they’re all??? Idk, the same? To put it simply??? Yeah. 

6.2. Shading is- another probably basic thing, but I’m explaining my particular process, but how I go about shading is by making a clipping layer over the layer I’m currently shading on to ensure that it only colours on that part. Then, I put it on multiply, and then toggle around till I get a good mid shade. To each their own, however, these are just my tips and tricks that I use personally. 

6.3. And after you’ve shaded your entire piece, you’re done! Yay, he’s edgy now! 

6.4. Though I did make my end sprite with a texture, and for SAI users, it’s relatively easy. Just open the png file of your sprite so that all your layers are in one and it’s a happy pic, and then go to to the textures drop down menu and select your texture. For this, I decide to use the grunge texture. I also used this texture on my Derse Prince edit, and I used a TV screen texture on one of my Hal edits. I don’t know if texture packs come with other art programs, but if they do, just experiment and see what you like! It’s not obligatory, but it’s a nice touch for some edits. 

Other than that! We’re finished! I hope you enjoyed- apologies if anything said was over complicated haha ;;. 

[randomoranges]

the other day i lost the friendly wagerino and @allbeendonebefore was like hey i want 70s stuff but maybe also make it not shitty?

idk if i delivered. i had this idea after she herself made an art and showed it to me revolving around the 70s. i figured id use it. it has a point of hope at the end? maybe it’s the origin story we all needed lamao

also please enjoy the repeated pattern of ed and ét forever saving the other a seat/making room for the other. 

also the running gag is how vague can i keep things about the 70s when also writing a fic about the 70s lewl

vague references to many things being made here

Empire of Ash Somewhere between 1971 and 1975

 He doesn’t know why he bothers – doesn’t know why he’s here. There’s no longer a point to any of this anymore. He feels the shift – feels it in the way the others look at him – the way they don’t look at him and it makes his blood boil.

 He used to run this show. Would walk in, grace the others with his presence, and they would fawn over him – trip themselves trying to be him. That or they would seethe behind their jealousy. They either wanted to be him or be with him and Étienne had always been willing to oblige. He understood their envy. Understood their want. He couldn’t really blame them. The proverbial world seemed to revolve around him and he’d reigned it with such ease and grace.

 It wasn’t always peaches and cream, naturally. He’d struggled – his people had struggled – they still struggled, but – overall, he’d been the example to follow – the one people wanted to emulate. Innovating. Exciting. The place to go – the one to be. An icon. He’d loved it. Loved the attention and the praise. The ease of it.

 It had only amplified when he’d been awarded the world exposition. It’d been a last minute decision, sure, but he’d thrived. He’d given them all a show they would never forget. Had put himself on the map for good. For years and decades to come, they would talk about Expo 67. This, would be a Moment never to forget. People would exchange anecdotes about what they had seen – what they had done. About how great and innovative it had been. How wonderful and spectacular. It was, after all, the type of work he loved – bettering his image and his city – thinking ahead. Planning. Putting on a show. Entertaining.

 He was very good at entertaining.

 He could entertain in so many different ways.

 Everyone had looked at him during Expo. Everyone had wanted him then. The stroke to his ego had been enormous. Had been satisfying. So satisfying. It had never been a dull moment. One giant party that had never ended for days and weeks and months. The afterglow had lasted – had pushed him through one winter and then the next. He’d drifted on his high – on his cloud, basking in it for days after, already a fond nostalgia settling in for the long run. The rose tinted glasses and such.

 And then it had skittered to a halt. Had come to an abrupt end. The proverbial rug had been pulled from under his feet without warning, leaving him with whiplash that had left a bitter taste in his mouth – that still lingered and rippled. Crept into his body and settled in; poisoned every last remaining good memory. Destroyed and shattered all his hard work.

 His empire had crumbled before his very eyes, leaving him with nothing but a pile of ash. Everything he had carefully built, everything he had worked for, gone, in a blink. Because, apparently, they could no longer trust him and there was now too much instability over some political variation of ideology. Because the people in a province that never felt like it cared for him wanted more. Because people dared to want to be recognised and had – taken – action.

 Years of loyal service discarded.

 It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t called the shots. He was a victim. A victim of the system. Yet, he bore the lasting consequences of them all.

 It was ironic, in a sense, that after years of feeling the oppression of religion, after fighting to break from it – after starting to find his true voice in this world, it was all being taken away and he was being pushed back – returning to a nobody.

 However, now he has a chance – another one, to prove to them that he’s still relevant – that they’re all wrong – have been wrong to cast him aside. This will be his redeeming arc. This has to be his redemption. He has no choice. No cards left to play, his deck long ago discarded.

 On a good day, he pours every ounce of energy and time into the plans for the Olympics. It’s touch and go; not as flawless and easy as Expo was. He tries to find that same magic, but it seems as though it’s one problem after the next. If it’s not some delay in construction, there’s a strike. If it’s not a strike, there’s a delay. As the calendar ticks on, his anxiety builds and his passion for the project dissipates.

 And then of course, everyone is kind enough to remind him that he’s nothing but a has-been – that there’s nothing left to him. His light has shined and now dulled, time be shelved and replaced.

  So he decides to stick to what he’s good at. Stick to what everyone wants. What everyone expects him to do. Put his moniker to good use. He knows how to play up his part, after all. He’s never even liked his obligatory job. Never saw the point to the meetings he’s obliged to attend. In his opinion, they run too long. He’s always found them boring, but at least, before, he was able to go and have a good time. Everyone had wanted his opinion. Everyone had wanted him. Because he was the best. He was somebody.

 Was.

 He is no one now.

 In any event. There’s no point to it anymore. He’s found better and more lucrative ways to spend his time. Better ways to chase the thrill of before – to feel alive where there is nothing but decay and rot. He’s found a way to feel wanted, even if for a little while. He knows where to put his skills to good use and make some cash while doing it as well. It’s more than could be said about these sorry meetings.

 The best part about his side hustle is that it makes his mayor mad. Makes the tiny bald man seethe and rage. But it makes Étienne grin. He loves that it enrages his mayor. Loves that he can keep finding ways to tarnish his plans of “cleaning up the city.” Étienne no longer is the wide-eyed-bushy-tailed naïve man who had blindly followed him. He’s grown since Expo. (It is a shame though; they’d mostly gotten along then – he’d enjoyed chatting up the man about his vision for the city. He misses the camaraderie, if anything. They may have not always gotten along, but – the man had vision – had helped him make a name of himself. This, however, he disagreed on.)

 With Expo, he’d – broadened his repertoire, so to say. Gotten a taste for the more delightful sinful pleasures of life – the full range and experience – had really let loose. It had been thrilling, what with everything else going on from the change in fashion to the freedoms the rest of his people were finally allowing themselves to experience without the fear of God breathing down their necks. His little personal discoveries had proven to be useful now that he needed an extra escapism and a different way to earn his living. The face his mayor had made had been worth it.

 Étienne wouldn’t have bothered showing his face to this meeting; would have flipped everyone off and returned to his new life, but his sister had insisted. Had reminded him that with the Olympics looming forward, he had to get his act together. Look presentable. Make an appearance. Remind everyone of what they were. It was all bullshit. He was tired of the hypocrites – the ones who’d died to have his opinion who’d now turned their backs on him. Tired of the fake airs everyone gave themselves at these meetings. The redundancy of them and the lack of anything ever getting done. He could be spending his time in so many other better ways.

 But. Élyse had begged and insisted. So he’d gone.

 Except now, he itches to get out of the place and get some air. The cigarettes he’s been smoking nearly nonstop since he’s gotten here have done nothing to calm his nerves and even though he knows he could go for something a little stronger to help, he also knows that with these stuck-ups they would have a conniption and keep passing their snide remarks. He tells himself he’s doing it for Élyse. She’s been through enough and – he doesn’t want to make it harder on her. Yet, he feels like he’s either vibrating out of his skin or that suddenly his body is too big, or too small for the ricochet of thoughts in his head. He needs air, a distraction, a hit of something, before he causes a scene, and luckily – miraculously – a break is called just as he’s about to bolt out.

 He lights up another cigarette as he looks for somewhere to wait out the break and scowls when all the benches are taken. There are spots left, but the last thing he’s in the mood for is polite small talk. It may have been his forte once, but the idea of it now makes him want to hurl. Étienne considers taking a walk and maybe finding something better to do for the afternoon, but the sight of a familiar sulking figure draws him close.

 He recognises Edward after a beat and only feels slightly relieved. Edward is his friend, sure, but they’ve sort of lost touch over the past few years. There’d been a frenzy of letter exchange after Expo and even before that, but – he can’t be bothered to remember whose turn it had been to write back. Then again, Étienne’s got a lot going on in his life at the moment and Edward feels as though he’s part of his old life.

 Still, he supposes that Edward hasn’t been unkind to him even if they haven’t sat down to have a heart to heart and at the moment, it’s better than the sneering and jeering. However, the idea of sitting down with someone he knows and having an actual conversation makes him want to set the world on fire. He considers getting out of here again, but just as he’s about to turn on his heels, Edward seems to notice him as well and moves his bag over so that Étienne can sit if he so desires.

 He’s ever so thankful when Edward leaves him to his moody thoughts and Étienne is able to breathe a little easier for the first time all day. It might almost seem like companionable silence, but he knows better and takes it for what it’s worth.

 Étienne smokes quietly as he lets his thoughts wander for a bit. He reflects on his strange friendship with Edward and how unlikely they came to be. He’d honestly never thought that his own ennui back home would have pushed him to set off exploring the Great West only to stumble upon another lost soul who would turn to be a friend – a confidant really.

 He’d – never expected Edward to take him up on it, back then – when he’d told him to keep in touch and write to him. He’d jotted down the address, given it to his friend and then had headed off, not thinking of the hassles Edward might have with finding an actual post office. Yet, eventually, when he’d nearly forgotten about it, a letter had appeared from Edward and Étienne had been more than surprised, even if he’d been delighted.

 He’d taken to writing to Edward frequently – or as frequently as was possible at the time. Sometimes, he would run back to the post office to add more to his already long letter, always having more to say to his friend and over the years and decades, he and Edward had built a steady if bizarre friendship through their writing.

 It’d been – easy to write to Edward. Easier than it’d ever been to say things out loud, anyways and he’d opened up about many aspects of his life he’d kept close to his heart with the years. In his opinion, Edward knew a lot more about him than Emma and even Élyse – not that he’d let them know. Yet, despite being able to write to his friend about everything that had ever bothered him, this time, he wants to keep his new secret to himself. He’s rather proud of this one anyways and he’s – not sure Edward would understand. Not entirely, anyways.

 He sighs and takes another drag of his cigarette. It’s a complicated mess and he’s lost so much already – doesn’t want to chance this at the moment. In case.

 It’s strange to think that even though he feels as though he’s found some sort of kinship with the new people he hangs around with, he feels even more alone than before. He’s – different from them. It comes with his status and the fact that despite his appearances, he is not like them – not really human in the full sense and there are certain hurdles he’s gone through that he cannot simply open up about to them.

 His musings are brought to a halt when he hears exasperated grumbling from his side. He’s about to scoff and tell Edward to quit it, but then turns to find the other man patting his pockets looking for something. Étienne overhears the words “cigarette” and “forgot” and figures out that Edward must have left his pack inside. He watches the little tantrum unfold for a moment, taking pleasure in seeing someone else frustrated for a while, before it gets on his nerves.

 He has enough to deal with as it is. He doesn’t need Edward’s complaining on top of it. With another sigh, Étienne fishes out his own pack and takes a cigarette out before he can reconsider and before Edward can get into a real fit.

 He wordlessly hands it over and waits for his friend to realise that there’s an offering being made.

 It takes Edward a moment and Étienne gets to the point where he’s afraid he’s going to have to jab the other man’s arm to get his attention, but before that has a chance to happen, Edward sees the cigarette and accepts it with a grumbled thanks. Étienne is about to take out his lighter, in case, but Edward already has it in his hand and lights up his cigarette without much trouble.

 It’s the extent of their conversation for the time being and for that, Étienne is grateful. He’s in no mood for talking and he appreciates that Edward keeps to himself. For the first time since the start of the day, Étienne feels slightly less alone and even though they don’t do much, he appreciated the presence of Edward. It’s – familiar, in a sense, even though they haven’t spent all that much time together.

 He can probably count on one or two hands the number of times they’ve legitimately hung out together – or even seen each other in the last century, but despite that, Étienne has considered Edward to be one of his closest friends for years now. Yet, somehow or other, even though the live miles apart, they’ve – clicked and bonded and somehow or other stuck around each other.

 He supposes, not for the first time, that it must count for something. Maybe.

 He’s not sure he wants it to, but as he finishes his own cigarette, Étienne finds himself with the same sense of ennui from before. The idea of sitting though another few hours of meetings still makes him want to hurl and the appeal of getting the hell out whispers soothingly in his ear.

 He spares Edward another glance and takes in his friend’s own sour look and discontented face. He figures that maybe – just maybe, Edward might not want to be here too and might want an excuse to get out.

 “Hey,” He says, finally breaking the silence between them. “Wanna get out of here? I think I saw a diner worth the detour on my way over.” It’s as good as an offers as he’s ready to make, but Edward, after a moment’s hesitation, carefully nods and stands up.

 They walk towards the street and fall into step together, as Étienne thinks that maybe there’s an analogy to be made about misery loving company, but he’d rather hope that instead, maybe he and Edward have more in common than he thought they originally did.

 FIN

[d3adguyy]

ok so this headcanon/au list is weeks of me randomly writing down stuff. (i may make a list of some more uh... nsfw headcanons later on, but idk)

also, some of these aus are very dumb and unrealistic, but whatever, so

there is no beetlebabes shipping in this at all. don’t even try. the only shipping is charles/delia (do they have an official ship name?) and adam/barbara/beetlejuice, which is beetlelands and/or goldenrat!

(some of these are very unrealistic/basically just me projecting but this is my list and i’ll Do What I Want)

also, fuck formatting, i’m too lazy

- au where higher powered demons/ghouls have wings. naturally, beetlejuice has them and he is a fucking disaster. he knocks shit over, gets them caught on everything, and will knock people over. (somehow, they’re the only thing that’s actually clean)

- au in which the netherworld had a more lasting effect on lydia, and causes her to have sort of “fainting” spells (there’s a whole long and convoluted explanation but i’m too lazy to type it out.) since this is obviously bad for multiple reasons, beej turns into a “service” dog to help her at school (the fact that he knows lydia is being bullied may have influenced his decision)

- lydia and beetlejuice share one, very very damaged brain cell between them. they’re both smart in their own ways, but the second they try and solve something together? nothing. they usually end up almost going through with a stupid scheme until someone stops them last minute

- they may not have a dog, but (big) sandy the sandworm is just as happy to play fetch

- they also have a “girls” night once a week, in which they watch crappy horror movies, paint their nails, talk shit about people, and beetlejuice gushes complains about the maitlands

- bj can actually speak quite a few languages (he’s been around quite a long time, after all) however, he chooses to hide this fact until a time where he can a) freak someone out or b) show off

- bj follows lydia to school occasionally and will either make snide comments about the other students, or tell lydia what they’re doing on their phones (lydia sometimes hears things she wishes she had never known)

- lydia and beetlejuice stay “married”, but only in a convinient way (financial aid and tax benefits ftw, beetlebabes fuck off)

- beetlejuice plays the ukulele (as shown in the musical) and you can sometimes hear him playing on the roof (if he sees anyone listening he’ll immediately stop and go pink and disappear)

- bj and lydia go to pride every year, and Fuck Shit Up in a (mostly) legal way. once the maitlands figure out how to leave the house, they accompany them and let loose and join them in their chaos. delia eventually starts coming as well. charles stays home to preserve his sanity.

- beetlejuice figures out the maitlands can leave the house so long as they have a piece of it with them, and so makes them bracelets with wood from the house. they’re both extremely happy and grateful.

- beetlejuice and miss argentina are pals, and hung out together when beej used to spend all of his time in the underworld (he still pops by to visit her occasionally, and even helped her with the backlash/work after juno died)

- au where it’s now book of mormon, and lydia and bj are paired up for a mission. chaos ensues. (don’t ask me how this one would work, because i honestly don’t know.)

- lydia has a sleepover at her house with school friends. one of them brings a ouija board. beej and the maitlands decided to have time fun with it, and lydia tries not to crack up watching them.

- delia and beetlejuice are friends (bc they lowkey have a decent amnt in common ngl) and delia will occasionally join in on beej & lyds’ schemes

- delia treats beej like a son due to him acting like lydia’s crazy and feral (yet very loving and overprotective) older brother. charles doesn’t get it, but it makes her happy so he goes along with it.

- just like beej and lyds have “girls night”, delia, barbara, and beetlejuice have something similar where they drink wine, gossip about the neighborhood moms, and watch shitty reality tv and yell at the screen. charles tried to interrupt once and got a bottle of wine thrown at him (courtesy of delia)

- beetlejuice and lydia are Trans As Fuck (lydia’s lesbian and beej is pan) the maitlands are both bi, delia is pan and charles is Straight.

- souleater au where lydia is the meister and bj is her weapon

- beetlejuice has a love of all things circus. (he’s surprisingly good at trapeze, and not-so-surprisingly good at fire eating and breathing)

- beej has a big fat crush on the maitlands, but him being the emotionally stunted demon he is, has absolutely no idea how to express this

- the maitlands suspect that bj is crushing on them, but they aren’t completely sure (they still think he’s adorable, though)

- beej loves cuddling. that’s it, that’s the headcanon. he is a very touchy person (and not just in a perverted way.) he and lydia can be seen cuddling in bed binging horror movies, and bj is known to get comfy on the couch that is definitely not big enough for both him and the maitlands. (also, beej loves being the little spoon.)

- lydia and delia share a very niche interest in astrology, and it’s probably one of the only things they have in common. (delia still loves lydia and lydia loves her too, even if she would never admit it)

- au where lydia dies in some accident, and beetlejuice pulls a bunch of strings to make her a demon. he now has to train her to use her newly gained powers. (to make her a demon, they had to be related, so he adopts her as his younger sister)

- to mash together the au above and the wing au from the top of the list, one day lydia starts growing wings and beetlejuice couldn’t be prouder.

- the maitlands have really dumb (but cute) nicknames for beetlejuice (gummyworm, teddy bear, marshmallow, etc. they occasionally call him lawrence, which makes him melt.) lydia has borderline insulting nicknames for bj (trash man, hobo, stinky bastard, etc.) and charles and delia just call him random variations of his name (mr. juice, beetleman, mr. beetle, etc. they will use his full name if he does something too chaotic, and it’s then he knows to run)

(i just lost a bunch of headcanons and aus because tumblr unexpectedly closed :( i’m gonna try my best to re-write them all. i’m also grouping all the aus together before i re-write the headcanons, so get ready lol)

- pjo au!

• lydia is a daughter of persephone, and starts attending camp at age 12 (persephone doesn’t actually have a kid with charles, she just lends her magic to lydia’s mom in order for them to have a kid, as she actively was a worshipper of persephone, and that ends up making lydia a half blood.)

• beetlejuice was a son of hectate, but died after performing wayyyy too many rituals to increase his magic, and it eventually got too much to control and the strain killed him. he keeps his powers when he dies though. (he got banished from the underworld and was tied to a living soul for as long as they lived - it was lydia, so now they Fuck Shit Up together. hades regrets his choice of punishment.)

• barbara is a daughter of harmonia

• adam is a son of hephaestus

• delia is a legacy of eros

barbara and adam are instructors at camp halfblood (barbara teaching pottery and adam teaching woodworking)

they take lydia under their wing when they notice she doesn’t really have friends, and so they eventually meet beetlejuice (he has a Big Crush on them but refuses to do anything about it. for now.)

- hunger games au time! (at this point i’m just doing aus of all of the old young adult series i used to read)

• beetlejuice and lydia were the tributes chosen from district 12 (with beetlejuice volunteering to protect lydia during the games)

• their mentor is juno, who is an asshole and is utterly useless, as she doesn’t think they have any chance

• the maitlands are a couple that live in the capitol, even if they really don’t agree with the morals and lifestyle. they are huge sponsors for bj and lyds during the games.

• beej and lyds are the last ones standing, and after all the trouble that beetlejuice has made the capitol go through during the games, they decide it isn’t worth it to try and kill them, so they both win.

• the maitlands secretly take in both of them after the games

• charles flips houses and delia is an artist, they know about the maitlands and help keep the secret

- time for the divergent au nobody asked for!

• lydia was born erudite and transferred dauntless (she could’ve stayed erudite as well)

• beetlejuice was born dauntless and stayed (he did have an aptitude for amity, but he’ll take that to the grave)

• barbara was born erudite and transferred amity

• adam was born abnegation and transferred amity

• charles was born erudite and stayed

• delia was born amity and transferred erudite (she had aptitude for candor as well)

beej is lydia’s trainer when she joins dauntless, and they become inserperable during and after training. (lydia graduates top of her class - she would’ve despite beetlejuice, but it didn’t hurt to have him)

(taking some liberties here and making it so that factions can interact with each other outside of school and mandatory events, however intermarriage and dating between factions is a no no)

the maitlands find beetlejuice doing Stupid Shit in the woods near amity. this happens a few times, with bj and lyds running away each time, until they finally catch them and they all meet.

the maitlands take lyds under their wing, but don’t know what to think about beetlejuice (they secretly adore him, but won’t be telling him that anytime soon. bj has a Humongous Crush on them, and tells them. eventually. they end up dating despite the illegality of it)

the deetzes end up finding out about the dating, and keep it secret, even though hey aren’t particularly fond of beej. yet.

- and now time for a warrior cats au. time to bring up those repressed memories :)

(ok so again, more liberties, cats can choose to join another clan when they become apprentices, and the clans interact a lot more outside of meetings and battles. also the only one i have a warrior name for is beetlejuice, because his would literally just be Beetlejuice)

• beetlejuice was born a loner and eventually joined shadow clan as an apprentice

• lydia was born thunder clan and transferred to shadow clan, and was chosen to be a medicine cat

• barbara would be river clan and stay there

• adam would be thunder clan and transfer to river clan to be with barbs

• charles and delia were both born and stayed in thunder clan

beej is lyd’s mentor for non-medicine cat stuff (as shadow clan teaches their med cats to fight, and i feel like they would get all of the same training normal apprentices did, such as hunting)

lyds and the maitlands get along and hang out a lot, and beetlejuice just kinda trails along. yet again he has a crush on them. however, he minimizes his time with them so that they don’t find reasons to dislike him (in his eyes)

- ok so we’ve done one cat au, time for a much more niche one! this one is based on the book claws, by mike and rachel grinti. (it’s a middle school level book for sure, but i picked it up sometime in elementary school and i still love it now that i’m older)

• beej as jack (although he still has magic, his magic is just super chaotic and hard to control) lyds as emma, and they go on a quest for how lydia’s mom died (something to do with the faries)

• beetlejuice only agrees to do the quest because he wants a friend, which was really the whole reason behind giving lydia the heart.

• the maitlands are part of the pride that lyds takes over. they were wary of her at first, but backed her up when she needed it. they warmed up to her quickly after that, and they take her under their wing to show her the ropes of how prides work

beej continues to hang out with lydia, but isn’t really accepted by the pride for the most part, with the maitlands being the closest to being his friends. this eventually changes, and they grow closer over time.

- small httyd au: lydia is a viking, her dad is a high ranking official, her mom killed in a dragon raid, delia still does art ig.

• the maitlands are dragons, and lydia befriends them. she later befriends another dragon, beetlejuice. she eventually teaches the villiage dragons are good and all that jazz.

- ok back to headcanons now: adam rescued injured wildlife when he was alive, and that hasn’t stopped now that he’s dead. a section of the roof is dedicated to little habitats/enclosures for injured animals, so that they can rest up and heal

- although she isn’t so good at rescuing animals like adam is, barbara still loves animals. (beetlejuice will turn into different animals so that he has an excuse to cuddle her)

- bj secretly enjoys how vanilla/naive the maitlands can be, and thinks it’s really cute

- beetlejuice is actually pretty good at cooking, and will make dinner for him and the maitlands on date night. (he also cooks comfort food for people when they’re upset)

- bj is an internet troll. that’s it that’s the headcanon.

- beetlejuice wasn’t born or anything, juno just kinda made him by accident, and that’s why she hates him so much. so, one day beetlejuice just came into existence, a full 5ft 8inches of pure chaos.

this headcanon is a bit odd for me, because it changes depending on the story/plot i’m thinking about, so i’m now reintroducing the trans headcanons so i can explain how it would work.

he presented as female for a while before saying “fuck that” and coming out. he would’ve done it sooner, but seeing as he just started existing one day, it took a bit for him to realize that not wanting to be the gender he was born as just Wasn’t Normal. idk if the netherworld has hrt, but im basing my version of it more off the cartoon, in which people have like houses and lives, i’m assuming it exists, so he got hrt surgery n shit

on the other side, when this headcanon doesn’t apply, he was about 16 when he came out, his parents said Fuck That because he was growing up pretty far in the past (idk exact time period, but trans people were a big No No) and he ended up offing himself. he ends up altering his appearance or going through hrt/surgery in the netherworld.

- in a human au, because i just thought of thi, he’d come out at age 16 still, and juno, shitty parent she is, kicks him out. the deetzes take him in, with lydia being about 14ish, and the maitlands are their tenants who become the second set of parents. (lydia is trans in human au)

- continuing the trans hc, lydia and her parents suspected when she was about 9ish, and so after having it confirmed by multiple doctors and specialists, was put on blockers until she could start hrt at 16. it’s a very happy day when she turns 16 and beetlejuice definitely doesn’t cry

- beetlejuice has a phobia of water and that’s one reason why he doesn’t shower (the maitlands eventually help him deal with it enough to be able to shower/bathe occasionally, because he still does like his trashy look)

- bj does drag. lydia and delia help him with makeup and clothing.

- beej also worked as a male stripper for a time at dante’s inferno in the netherworld. he’s amazing at pole dancing, and he can walk like a pro in heels.

- also, because heels autocorrected to heelys st first, beej owns heelys and will zoom around the house in them. lydia eventually buys a pair for herself and they Go Crazy

i think that’ll end off this list for now, as it’s gotten pretty long. there’s a good chance i’ll make another one in the future, but for now, thats all folks!

[lostincalum]

Big Girls Cry- Shawn Mendes

A/N: OKay full offence, i put a lot into this, would appreciate feedback

Word count: 1500 (ISH) 

TW: just angst, idk, maybe alcohol mention 

I’d sent him a message before I got in the car. The entire day has been spent in the studio, and the entire drive home has been tedious. The radio in my car is broken, and leaving me alone with my thoughts is a dangerous thing.  He still hasn’t answered. I sigh as I move towards the kitchen. When I open the fridge and find nothing, yet another sigh escapes me. Life in the fast lane is overrated and I hate it already. Still, it has it’s ups. Like people that like the music I make. And the traveling I get to do. Alas, I don’t get to see a lot of the countries I go to.

I call up the Chinese place not too far from here and order in. In reality I don’t really feel hungry, but my manager will throw a fit if she figures out I’m not doing as good as I’m pretending to. Fake it ‘till you make it, right?

My phone is still empty of notifications. I put on a playlist and start cleaning my apartment. It has been a mess for the last week, but I am determined to make some changes. All of a sudden the doorbell rings. I jump a little, but go from my bathroom to the front door, not minding how I’m dressed at the moment. The delivery boy from the Chinese place is standing in the doorway, looking a little lost in the too fancy hallway. He hands me the food bag and I hand him his money, with plenty of tips.

“Thanks, Travis”, I say with a fake smile I have perfected over the last month.

“No worries Miss”, he looks at me, and for a second I think he recognizes me, that’s why I slam the door shut in his face.

My hands start to shake, and I rush to the kitchen, again. I set the food down on the counter, only to feel my body sliding to the floor. The first thing I feel is my breath moving erratically, then the numbing of my hands and the tears sliding down my face. Hot tears drip down my chin and I swipe there to get them away. But when I look down at my sleeves, I see the grey colour has turned darker, and is tinted with my foundation. I try to control my breathing, and slowly it gets better; I know I just have to wait it out.

It feels better. Not good, but better, when I feel my hands again, when my breathing is slightly better, when the tears have stopped. However, I let my eyes slide over the kitchen and the living room as I get up, big mistake. I am met with photos of us together, meandShawn, not me and Shawn. The anger that boils through me. I haven’t felt anything like it in, well, ever.

A few seconds pass as I stare at the pictures. One is of me and him overlooking a sunset, taken by one of our friends, another of him kissing my cheek, a selfie. They are all there, staring at me. It takes me a split second to decide what to do with them. I take them out of their frames and gather them all up. Then I grab a bunch of matches, which I always preferred over lighters, and go out on the fire escape. I sit down on one of the steps and strike a match. I’m lucky, there is hardly wind tonight, so the flame licks up the wood of the matchstick easily. Then I take the photos in my left hand and bring my other hand closer, watching as the flames caress the amber of Shawn’s eyes.

After I’ve come in again, a little colder, I go to the bathroom. The sight that meets me is not pretty. My mascara is in streaks down my cheeks and there are also trails and smears of concealer and lipstick all over the place. I don’t care if I don’t look pretty right now. I’ve got no one to look pretty for except myself now. I like it.

----

A few weeks later-

I’m standing on the stage trying to look presentable. Soundchecks are going alright and the stage is a comfortable size. The little venue is comfortable even though it is going to be filled to the brim with people later tonight. I walk around the stage familiarizing myself with it. I head over to Mark, the guy that plays piano for me. He’s a sweet guy and he happily agreed to play a cover song with me. Tonight. Even though I’m just the warm up artist, I’m really excited to open the concert.

“Hey, feeling ready for tonight?”

He looks up from his idle key tapping on the piano, when I speak up.

“Do you feel ready?”

I study the ring on his finger; he shares a matching one with his husband. He is a little older, yet I still find it hard to wrap my head around. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve it, but I struggle to believe that love is real. It feels more like getting addicted or dependent on another person. When they leave, well, the results are hardly ever good.

“I don’t think I will ever feel completely ready to perform”, it’s a vague answer and we both know it. But it is also the truth.

Mark just chuckles at me and pats the spot beside him on the bench. I sit down next to him and lean my head on his shoulder, which causes him to put his head upon mine.

“Just know that regardless of what happens tonight, I’ve got your back.”

He says this with the utmost honesty.

“I know, thank you so much Mark.”

---

Mark is the first person on stage and starts of with a short interlude on the piano that is going to lead up to the cover song I’m playing tonight.

“Heyy everyone,” I say as I walk onto the stage.

A loud cheer washes over the crowd as I appear on the stage. This is one of the reasons I haven’t drawn all the way back from performing. The proud feeling you get when you can brighten someone’s day just by singing a few songs.

“So, I was thinking of covering a song for you to start off the evening.”

Different variations of celebrations sounds from the crowd as Marks piano sounds stronger through the speakers.

My voice rings through the venue as I start the first verse of “Big Girls Cry” by Sia. Already in the first verse I can feel the tears from a few weeks back making an appearance. It doesn’t get better with the pre-chorus and by the chorus the first tear slips down my cheek. I didn’t put on a lot of makeup today for this exact reason, but I bet my mascara is in a couple of streaks down my cheeks. I can hear all the girls in the crowd singing along to “I don’t care if I don’t look pretty” .

The second verse goes a little better, since I’m not the most avid partier. Although, I have had a few blackouts when I do drink. The last couple of weeks have been a bit messy, leading up to the start of tour.

I finish the pre-chorus and go to the next chorus, which breaks me all over again. I feel my voice failing me, but then the most amazing thing happens. The crowd continues singing for me. Even though it’s not my song I feel so immensely proud of the people in the crowd, I feel so relieved that these people have my back as well as Mark.

A series of “I wake up”, rings through my chest as I sing along with the crowd, almost as if they are the ones on stage and I’m in the crowd. We finish the song together, except for the last line of the song. I sing that line to a quiet room. Even Mark has stopped playing.

As my last note sounds through the venue, I feel a hand on my back. I turn around and see Mark. I give him a good long hug, with the insane cheering of the crowd behind us. He releases me and I take the mic back up to my mouth.

“Thank you guys so much-”, I yell into the mic

“I don’t think I would have made it through this song without you.”

A massive cheer comes from the crowd along with a few “We love you’s”

The rest of a concert goes by in a blur of me jumping around on stage and singing happier sounding, original songs. I feel so exhilarated by the end that I’ve completely forgotten about heartbreak.

“Who is ready for PVRIS!” I scream and the crowd goes wild. The smile on my face, the feeling in my chest as I walk off stage? I feel invincible. But everything must come to an end.

“Y/N?” an all too familiar voice speaks from behind me. Shawn.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #264

I did tell y’all WoW would devour my life again when I got my laptop back lmao. But I’m still alive!!

When you wake up to pee at night, do you turn on the light? You mean like, in the bathroom? Uh, yeah? When was the last time you got a fresh box of crayons? Damn dude, I don't have a clue. What color is your favorite towel? I don't have a favorite. They're all just random colors. Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? Actually no, not since Mom got a new phone. I really need to learn it. Do you wear hoodies? Yeah, one Pikachu one. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: We were arguing and she tried to kick me out of the car once. Obviously I didn't listen. It was one of our worst arguments. How many different homes have you live in?We're in our fourth house now. WELL there's another if you count the apartment, but I didn't officially live there, I was just... always there even though it was against policy lmao. Then when we were technically homeless I "lived" with my former best friend, but again, that was not an official thing. Did your mom go to college? She is, though cancer has thrown a wrench in the plan... She's on her final semester of a bachelor's degree in social work. With cancer now plus this wild quarantine, we don't really know what's going on. Where is the best place you know to take a dog for a walk? We have a park maybe like 15 minutes from here that's pretty decent. Nice fountain, fishing docks, plenty of ducks. Are there any crazy sandwich combinations you like to eat? It's not "crazy," as I know it's actually tasty to some people: having lunch meat, cheese, mustard, and potato chips. I haven't had that in yeeeaaars. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Uh. I'm not sure. We usually have fruit, beans, and soup in there, but I'm not sure which there's more of. Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? No. Do you prefer rugs or bare floors? Rugs. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't really drink from any. Your bad habit that you love the most: Heh, drinking soda... Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: I have before, yes. Had a guinea pig named Harry Potter lol, rats named Tezzeret and Rhoka, and... that may be it. I am not positive, had a lotta pets... Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? Oh my god, I was about to say no, but wait. When I first started RP at around 9, I had the impression you were supposed to always be in-character. Me, at the time my account being just "mozart2" (I don't count her as my first RP character though, she turned into Ruby and was drastically changed) on the Animal Planet forum, wanted to be the "dominant female," and one of the girls whose name was like Angelkiss or something was "mean" to me and so I reciprocated until I GOT FUCKING BANNED ON THIS ACCOUNT I'M WRITING THIS AND IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME I HATE YOUNG ME SO MUCH. What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? Idk. Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Not necessarily. Yellow doesn't mean dirty + everyone is supposed to have some coloration, and I can't say shit anyway 'cuz mine are kinda yellow from poor self-care in the past anyway. I just care that they're clean. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Girt is a damn giant lmao. I only reach his chest. Shortest, I'm unsure. Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? Well besides the famous ones, no. HA, fun fact that cracked me the fuck up though, someone in the government in NC that is running for... something, there are sometimes like three signs in a row along the road that say "RUN FORREST, RUN" and I fuckin died the first time I saw it. Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? I don't believe in angels or demons, so. Ghosts, yes. Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? Dancing, for sure. I'm more educated on the form and techniques, plus it's way more entertaining. What was the mascot at your elementary school? A bulldog. It was super cute, and in art class, the art students all worked together to make colorful, clay models that were in the principal's office. Everyone loved them. Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? Yes and yes. Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? I'll probably never know 'cuz my ass is afraid of them lmao. I get dizzy too easily and I'm terrified of the potential of getting sick. Do you think home-made cards are better than store-bought ones? They're more thoughtful imo. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? The Notebook. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? By their volition, probably a Facebook friend. How did you decide upon your favorite colors? I didn't know you could pick your favorite color. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? Wow no. I mean unless they look obviously dangerous, like if they had blood on them or something like that. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? If you say anything but pink, you're wrong. Do you prefer schedules and plans, or spontaneity? Schedules. Sponteneity, usually, stresses me out. How do you let someone know that you like him/her? I mean idk. Act like it or say it. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I'm more myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? Hell no. I'd want them to like me for who I actually am. Would you rather buy presents for others, or receive them? BUY, so long as I'm happy with what I bought and know it'll make them happy. How did you meet your current best friend? YouTube. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? I haven't finished it, but I'm writing a poem about the strength of cancer patients following Mom getting her hair shaved off. Are you a mostly blunt person? No, because I'm too afraid of starting an argument. Do you have any talents that come naturally? I guess writing since I've been applauded for it since I was very little. Do you go out often? Even before quarantine, not at all. I go out so little that my eyes seriously hurt when I step outside; I always have to squint or entirely close my eyes for a few seconds. What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? There was one year Jason got me a really pretty heart box of chocolates plus the game Heavy Rain and a pink rose. May still have a picture of it on my old phone... Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? No. It's hard to be "overly nice" in my opinion. Would you prefer internet or television? Internet. What is something you lose often? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I never do. How old is your oldest sibling? 30-something. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Yes. Who's the last person you said I love you to? Mom or Sara. What's your stance on spooning? What a question. It's comforting, but I usually can't actually fall asleep like that because I get too hot. Have you ever been "popular?" Nah, not really. Well, I was pretty well-known in the meerkat YouTube community as an editor, but not like, Yelozo level. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Well, I was a Christian when my sister's friend's grandpa made me like, SUPER uncomfortable by talking to me all the way home from school (he had to drive us this day) about the Bible and stuff because it was his "job" as a religious man and I kinda had to take this little Bible from him just to be nice. Even when I was a Christian I wasn't VERY religious and really really felt like he was hardcore shoving his beliefs down my throat. Are you thin? Ha ha no. Do you like big earrings? Heavy/big earrings ruined my ears, so no. The holes are too stretched now and is why I'm putting very small gauges in so it doesn't look as stupid when I put an earring in and it just barely hangs on because my ear lobe literally looks like it could tear. Animated character that was your gay awakening? HA, there's been a few that looking back, I definitely thought were more than pretty, even as a kid, like Sheego from Kim Possible. But #1? Holy mother of fuck, Bayonetta. That is one fuckin HOT MAMA. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Hmm. It really does depend on what I feel like semi-watching. Maybe like, a let's play where I'm not THAT interested in the game, but I still do listen and glance over. Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I've never been to a bar, but when I go out to eat and I feel like getting a drink, it's usually a margarita. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? UGGGGHHHHH my tall leather boots with all these buckles and stuff. They're hot. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? Nothing that's really "surprising." Just three ordinary minimum wage jobs. What’s directly across from you? My snake's terrarium. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? No. ;-; I wish. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I've only ever had cream cheese. NO WAIT, I tried jam once and it was fucking repulsive. One bite and I was like "fuck no." I think it was strawberry jam though, which I hate. I'm not sure what else I'd try as idk what would taste good. Fruity or herbal teas? Neither. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? None. It's funny, as a kid when I thought I was "too old," I tried to hide the fact I still adored Pokemon, but for years now I've just been like "lol fuck yeah man Pokemon." What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Being an emo/goth/metalhead thing was NEVER a phase, Mom. Goddamn do I wish I could afford a gothic wardrobe laksjdfawde. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? There's no telling. I rarely check my closet for "special" clothes, but rather my dresser. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? The couch. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I'm all of them, plus sometimes song lyrics I find relevant lmao leave me alone. Name a classic Vine: YO that one of the dude looking for his berries with a WILD outfit, expression, and voice and then scares adventurers away from his tree made me fuckin cry for about 1,000 repeats. I miss Vine, man, good shit. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? We don't really "stock up" on any particular food. We do, however, tend to get a large box of frozen rats for Venus, if you can count that, but obviously that's not from the grocery store lol. How do you top your ice cream? Chocolate syrup mmmMMMMMMMMMMM Do you like Jello? Yeah. Do you have a fear, even only a slight fear of insects? I do. Do you have a favorite poem you like and can recall? If so, what is it? I don't have a favorite, no. Have you ever resided in a home that was haunted: *shrugs* I do think paranormal things happened in my last house, but idk about calling it haunted. Do you ever play any MMORPGS: Just WoW. What’s the closest river to you? Tar River. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? I don't think so. What bird is the cutest? Oh, I don't know. Something small and pudgy lol. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit is so cool. Have you ever held a real sword? No. What do you think about most? PTSD is v fun. My brain naturally drifts to relating topics when I don't know what to think about, which is most of the time. Certainly don't try to, but it just. Happens. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hell man, idk. I do have a weakness for Kellin Quin though; he's the first to come to mind. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Lion King. What are you currently listening to? "Saturnalia" by Marilyn Manson. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. The last person to be under covers with you? Sara. What's the compliment you get the most? Uhhh I think it's "I like your tattoo" (referring to my Mark one). BITCH just wait til it gets tidied up for four hours. Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? If they have good reason to, yes. I can't deeply dislike someone I don't know/have personally seen be a piece of shit, but I can sure not be fond of them until they prove unworthy of that judgment. Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Never gambled and don't plan to. Do you eat/drink at your computer? Yes, oops. How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) Actually, I tend to under-eat at most special occasions because odds are I'm not going to like the food. This isn't always the case, but yeah. Do you think it's important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I think it's very important to enjoy it. If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Probably the longest consecutive hours of not leaving the computer laksdfjawe I hate myself. Do/Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? From the very beginning, I hated school. It's why I was a goddamn monster to get up in the morning, even in high school. I only enjoyed (to a degree, anyway) my most recent college because it was a way to get out of the house and work towards my future. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Boy, do I. Most recently, after being put on a medication for my nightmares/terrors (which works!), I have intense muscle spasms in my legs, oddly only when I'm falling asleep. Apparently it's a very rare side effect of it, but I'm willing to tolerate it in place of having nightly terrors. Then there's my PTSD and just general poor self-image that can both send me down a total spiral. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Not legitimately. Like I've wondered what it would be like, but I've never truly wanted to be a guy. I'm just content with being what comes with being genetically female. Do you think you'd make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? Hell to the fuck no. Have you had an argument with anyone recently? If so, do you still have issues with that person? Not recently, no. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? Tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. Hell man, I don't have a clue. Have you ever worn colored mascara? If not, would you ever think about trying it? And if you have, what is/was your favorite color to wear? No, but I guess, if I had a reason to? What do you remember about your first day of secondary school? Were you more nervous or excited about it? I very faintly remember I had no desire to be there. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like Bebo or Myspace? Yeah, I had Myspace. Has anyone ever asked you out, and you turned them down? If so, did you feel guilty about it? Why do you think you said no? Yes, and not *really*, as I'm very strict with myself about whom I date. It's just awkward. And I just didn't like one guy romantically in elementary, my best male childhood friend was black (mind you I haven't been racist in the least since I was a tiny kid, I was just raised like that), and I knew Juan had a bad rep. Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? Ugh. Let's not. I feel obligated only with family. Has someone of the opposite sex ever sang to you? If so, how did you respond to it? LET'S. FUCKIN. NOT. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? Terrified.

[depressioncookingwithphoenix]

Puttanesca pasta

hello everyone

THIS IS NOT NECESSARY TO THE RECIPE YOU CAN SKIP TO THE NEXT RED TEXT

idk if i will make a proper first post introducing this blog. it is a cooking blog of sorts. i don’t like doing 19 paragraphs about what inspired the recipe, though. after this first one it’s going to be straight in to the food. it’s a combination “how i make food” “variation on this one specific recipe” (with occasional original recipes) with some bits of advice targeted towards depressed people, of which some will apply to just lazy people too i guess.

i’m trying to present things in a way that will be good for beginner cooks as well, however since i don’t use exact measurements very often it may be too intimidating / vague. i use photos anyway because i like to.

i am not sure that all or even some of these will be suitable for most people’s depression limits; hopefully i will be in a better place soon and it will simply be “college dorm cooking with phoenix” (not my real first name). these are just things i managed to make. usually they come in portion sizes or ways of making them that are suitable for one person, as i live alone, but part of that is that i am happy eating the same thing for at least one meal a day multiple days in a row. that’s all i can think of for now. on to the food.

RECIPE BEGINS HERE

this is what you’ll end up with. tomato sauce with capers and olives. most of the ingredients - and all the ones i used here - can be from the pantry or long term storage in the fridge. you can eat this with parmesan / romano / asiago / something else like that and it’s good. i don’t have any and you don’t need any either. sometimes you haven’t been to the store in a while or just couldn’t / didn’t want to buy the expensive cheese.

ingredients (a lot of these are approximate but i took photos to show how much i used):

6-7 LARGE cloves of garlic, or enough smaller ones to be equivalent

tin of anchovies (the one i used was 2 oz)

crushed red pepper flakes (to taste. i like it spicy)

olive oil (a few tablespoons, about)

kalamata olives (about 1/2 cup i think)

capers (like a tablespoon or two)

penne pasta

28 oz can or two of the smaller cans (don’t remember if they’re 14oz or not) diced tomatoes

large handful of parsley (optional)

salt and black pepper. idk if the black pepper really matters you can try leaving it out if you want and see how it goes

how to!

this is how much garlic i use. smash it and then dice it very small (there’s a photo later on that shows how small)

take all your anchovies out of the tin and chop them up small enough that they’ll “melt” when you cook them. if you’ve cooked with anchovies before you know what that looks like, if you haven’t it’ll be something like this:

put some olive oil in a pot. it can either be a largish saucepan or a stockpot (i think that’s what this is called). it doesn’t really matter. you want enough oil that nothing’s going to burn on the bottom. put the anchovies and garlic in, plus the red pepper flakes. i don’t remember what the original recipe i used had, probably between 1/8 and 1/2 teaspoon. pick something in that range that sounds close to your spice preferences. if you’re a baby cook start small, you can add more later and then try more next time you cook. 

i just shake it in til it looks right. 

this is where we are now:

i decided after i mixed things up that it wasn’t enough oil for this particular pot so i added some more in the middle there.

START YOUR PASTA WATER NOW. SEE THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR PASTA AT THE BOTTOM WHENEVER THE WATER IS HOT. salt the water before you start it boiling. it doesn’t matter but it matters to me.

cook it for a few minutes (maybe up to 10? i have no sense of time. i really thought it was 1 am when i was cooking but as i write it’s 9:46 pm), until the garlic and pepper are getting done ish and the anchovies are melty. i’ll be honest i really didn’t remember what i was doing here i just went for it and when it smelled a little burnt i dumped the tomatoes in and it turned out delicious. this is it a minute before the tomatoes.

put tomatoes in, simmer for a while. 10 minutes or until the pasta is done, whichever is later. pasta should be later. this is the kind of simmer i do. sometimes it’s a little less. stir periodically.

hell yeahhhhhh.

PASTA: so for yourself or two people, just cook as much pasta as you think you need. if for more people, do the whole thing. don’t worry about the extra sauce.

when you drain pasta you want for the water to not rise to the level of the bottom of the strainer. if you have a garbage disposal you can just turn that on and if you have a functional drain you don’t have to worry but sometimes your sink is kind of clogged and drains really slowly and you haven’t been to the store to buy drain cleaner or asked maintenance for help. that’s okay. you just take the large pot thing you’re soaking (or a clean one i guess) and prop your strainer up on that and the counter. boom problem solved.

when your pasta is ready turn off the heat on the sauce and put the olives capers, and parsley in. i didn’t have parsley because i haven’t been to the store in almost two weeks. that’s fine. here’s how much stuff i did have i used:

now you dump your pasta in a bowl, spoon some sauce on, mix it up. it’s possible you made way too much pasta. that’s okay. it’ll keep in the fridge for a day or two and you can work on it later. we’ll go over storage of the food in the next post. in the meantime, enjoy your food

a couple of ending thoughts: try to clean as you go. i know, i know, everyone says that, but if you clean your dishes - or even just rinse or wipe them off so stuff doesn’t dry on - it’ll make life easier later. resist the urge to leave the kitchen every time something doesn’t need tending. wash at least one thing first. also WASH THE CUTTING BOARD AND KNIFE BEFORE THE GARLIC DRIES ON THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

if you followed along with this post and made pasta even through your disabling mental illness, i am so proud of you. it doesn’t matter what else happened today and how successful you were at cleaning, you had a bunch of ingredients in the pantry and you turned them into delicious food even though it was hard. you did good.

(i know no one will read this, but just in case someone does, i think it’s important you know that.)

[thecryptidprincess]

Numbers... ALL OF THEM

Oof anon killing me with all of them but thank you for actually sending something it’s been centuries since I last got an anon ily <3

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name?

Kwon. It’s my Korean mom’s surname

2. How old are you?

I’m a lil’ baby 20 year old

3. When is your birthday?

May 6th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Taurus

5. What is your favorite color?

PINK

6. What’s your lucky number?

I don’t actually think I have a lucky number???7. Do you have any pets?

Not at my apartment with me, but I have an adorable little Yorkie/Bishon mix at my parents place!

8. Where are you from?

Northern Maine

9. How tall are you?

5′3″ 

10. What shoe size are you?

It depends on brand but usually a 6 in women’s

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Uhhhh...6 I think

12. What was your last dream about?

I was a famous comic book artist at Comic Con (even though I’ve never been there EVER)

13. What talents do you have?

I can draw and somehow keep my shit together and not seem like I’m dying inside lmao

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I swear I am like slightly

15. Favorite song?

I have a few but currently it’s Pray For Me by the Weeknd from the Black Panther movie

16. Favorite movie?

Any Marvel movie hands down!

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

I have a lowkey crush on one of my coworkers rn but just someone who is sweet and sassy and good at communicating and listening idk I’ll take anyone at this point I’ve been single for almost a year now (jk I still have standards but y’know)

18. Do you want children?

I go back and forth on that a lot but really I’m not sure

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Nooooo

20. Are you religious?

Not really

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

I have!

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nah I’m too much of a lil’ bitch to do anything to get in trouble like that

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I wish but no

24. Baths or showers?

Baths god I miss taking baths

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I currently have no socks on

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nah not pretty enough

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Kinda but not really???

28. What type of music do you like?

It varies I’m very much a “if I like it I like it” kinda person

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nopeeeeee

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two usually

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my sides

32. How big is your house?

Well I live in a shitty little studio apartment so not that big

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Air lmao no I usually eat like eggs or something

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Kinda it was during a hunter safety class that shot a laser out because we were like doing target practice and learning how to hold a gun

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Kinda it was fun I sucked at it though

36. Favorite clean word?

Hun

37. Favorite swear word?

FUCK

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think like two days

39. Do you have any scars?

I do yes40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not to my knowledge

41. Are you a good liar?

Depends on the reason I gotta lie but occasionally I am

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I’d like to think so

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I do a great Busan accent when I’m talking to my mom sometimes (It’s a place in South Korea with a different dialect it’s kind of the equivalent to our southern accent)

44. Do you have a strong accent?

No I have the least accent voice ever

45. What is your favorite accent?

British/Australian

46. What is your personality type?

No idea and I’m too tired to check

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Umm....my Captain America tank top I think???? I have no clue I get second hand shit mostly

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Sadly no 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie!

50. Left or right handed?

I think I might be able to use both I just know I write with my right but I do everything else with my left it’s weird as hell

 51. Are you scared of spiders?

YEP

52. Favorite food?

Oh god there are so many but Chinese food always wins my heart

53. Favorite foreign food?

Korean food in general specifically made by my mom

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Pretty clean unless I hit a good ol’ depressive episode

55. Most used phrased?

“Da fuck bruh”

56. Most used word?

Fuck (or just some variation of it)

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

In the morning usually 30 minutes to an hour depending

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think I do honestly

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Is it a sin if I do both?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Constantly

61. Do you sing to yourself?

CONSTANTLY

62. Are you a good singer?

Oh god no

63. Biggest Fear?

Idk, I guess being alone

64. Are you a gossip?

Naaaaaah well a little I’m just the messenger mainly lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Uuuuuh idk can’t think of one rn

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Personally on me I go between the two I’m trying to grow my hair out at the moment though

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

I used to be able to not anymore though

68. Favorite school subject?

Art! And history

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Both???

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope

71. What makes you nervous?

Well I have general anxiety so like...everything

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Only my friends but that’s me just teasing them 

74. Are you ticklish?

Yes

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Nah 

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kinda?? Idk I’m not the most authoritarian kinda person even if I sometimes think I am

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yep

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

There’s no place for feelings around here pal

80. How many piercings do you have?

I only have my ears pierced but I really want more

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

If I really get going I can

82. How fast can you type?

Hella fast

83. How fast can you run?

Who runs?

84. What color is your hair?

My natural black

85. What color is your eyes?

Broooown

86. What are you allergic to?

Bullshit and bad people

87. Do you keep a journal?

I try to honestly

88. What do your parents do?

My dad works on a barge and my mom works in a warehouse

89. Do you like your age?

?? I kinda have no choice in that matter

90. What makes you angry?

A lot of shit

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really it’s just a word to me I have no real feelings about it at this point

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Noooo I only look at baby names when I’m making characters but those are for grown ass adults I’m drawing

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

AH CHILDREN QUESTIONS NO

94. What are you strengths?

I’m loyal and I care a lot about people

95. What are your weaknesses?

I give my 100% into everything I do and that fucks me up later sometimes plus I’m short

96. How did you get your name?

From my mom??

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I think on my mom’s side back in the day they weren’t royalty but they were important

98. Do you have any scars?

Again yes

99. Color of your bedspread?

Dark blue

100. Color of your room?

A weird off white I think?

THANK YOU ANON I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT NIGHT YOU LIL’ PUNK <3

[fuckingloginwall]

【Questions And Answers】

(or at least ones you might have)

Blog Rules Here

Who The Fuck Are You?

I'm FUCKINGloginwall, but call me Freak for short, any variation of the word, or whatever you'd like, since I can't imagine most of you being alright with calling me FUCK or FUCKING.

Me and my OC, The Librarian are women and use she/her pronouns.

What The Hell Is This?

Originally a blog made for the purpose of not having to deal with the FUCKING login wall Tumblr has, I ended up giving in to the desire to not only post my own ideas, but see what others would think of them and do with my typed out thoughts.

This means that if you wanna do anything based off/inspired by/building off/whatever of my own posts and ideas? GO crazy! GO stupid! that's exactly what I want out of this blog!

Do you take Requests?

Any and all requests will be deleted, from headcanons to fics to AUs. But I'll gladly answer asks regarding my works and talk about them

Is This A Roleplay Blog?

Idk the exact technicalities of what is and isn't an RP Blog, but I wouldn't call this one, despite the rp blog elements, so to speak.

Yes, I roleplay as an OC and have an imaginary setting for them, but they're finishing touches for the Hocus Pocus Speech I wanna speak in to make an aesthetically pleasing blog.

At the end of the day, I'm presenting my ideas to the world and talking with others about them with a sprinkle of dress-up and stage sets.

Go up ahead and waltz in like this is another ordinary blog or RP with me as well, whatever fits you best.

Does The Librarian And Abode Hold Lore?

Barely, and on the occasions you do get any crumbs of lore, expect it to be half-baked and spontaneous. Again, I'm here to scream my ideas into the void and reblog the ideas of other people and such, roleplaying will not be a priority ever here.

What Will You Post, And When?

Most of my ideas are Genshin Impact, and almost all of them are some flavor of Isekai, with rare exceptions.

Once I've got all my master posts sorted out and cleaned up my outlines, I'll start posting, but only daily so as to not flood the tags. Once I've run dry I'll likely just lurk or reblog unless given submissions or asks.

Will You Post Earlier If Asked?

After I've finished setting up my blog, and polished out my docs, I'll give you some of them extra early is you ask politely.

Who's The Headless Lady On The Stairs?

I understand your confusion but I'm also baffled. She's The Librarian of course, the owner of this place. Unlike me she leaves little to the imagination.

If you don't know how to imagine my own looks, just think of me as a burning candle in the dark.

Will More Questions Be Added Here?

Yes, especially if I keep getting the same ones over and over again

[hellooogaynow]

1-100

omg ok tbh i forgot that i reblogged that ask thing but thank u fren here u go

1. spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? 

spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

um ok so my room at my mom’s is technically the office and just full of mine and everyone else’s storage so it isn’t really my room i guess and my room at my dad’s is nearly empty and i haven’t been there more than a couple times in a while and i’ve been crashing at friend’s and family’s houses and living out of a suitcase for weeks so i’m just gonna say i don’t really have a room

3. what color are your eyes?

dark brown

4. do you like your name? why?

alright well this is complicated because i hate the name emily and lately i’ve been going by emmitt for a while and it’s just weird because i feel so disconnected from emily and not super connected to emmitt either and i feel like i should just be a nameless person because i hate being referred to as anything tbh

5. what is your relationship status?

happily in a relationship with someone i really care about

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

a detached mess

7. what color hair do you have?

my natural dark brown color

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

ah it’s a purple mini van that’s rusting and dying

9. where do you shop?

target lol

10. how would you describe your style?

almost exclusively button ups and baseball shirts

11. favorite social media account?

tumblr probably i use this the most out of all of them

12. what size bed do you have?

queen

13. any siblings?

i have 2 sisters

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

i honestly have no idea how to answer this question i don’t have a dream destination or anything

15. favorite snapchat filter?

omg probably the cute cat one that changes ur voice cuz my friends look so cute when they use it

16. favorite makeup brand(s)?

i don’t know anything about makeup

17. how many times a week do you shower?

every day sometimes multiple times a day

18. favorite tv show?

buffy the vampire slayer and dollhouse kill me

19. shoe size?

idk i’m pretty sure i’m a 6

20. how tall are you?

5’1

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?

no lol but i do plan to start going once i actually move in to my new place and get settled

23. describe your dream date

i want to spend a day in chicago with emily doing whatever we want just walking and wandering into stores and go to a zoo or a museum or navy pier or honestly just anything at this point i miss her so much i don’t care what we do as long as we’re together

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$6

25. what color socks are you wearing?

they’re both different variations of black white and light blue

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

at least 2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

yeah i recently got a job in the mental health field and i work primarily with adults with various mental illnesses in a 24/7 supervised living area at the moment it’s mostly individuals dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and borderline personality disorder and i help them with symptom management, building the skills they have chosen to work on in their treatment plans, and help them carry activities of daily living so they can become self-sufficient and can transition out and live on their own

28. how many friends do you have?

ah i mean i know i have a lot of friends but as far as really close friends i know i can count on and will most likely always have around i’d say i have about 8

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

ah fuck well i went through a really destructive phase in my recent past where i was just in a bad place and i withdrew and lashed out a lot and was super emotionally unstable and i hurt a lot of people and i regret it

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

omg i have no idea i usually just smell all the blue ones and go from there

31. 3 favorite boy names

elliot (this is my favorite name in the world probably)

max

derrick

32. 3 favorite girl names

bennett

caroline

sara

33. favorite actor?

i thought about this for a solid 5 minutes and no one is coming to mind i’m gonna leave this blank

34. favorite actress?

eliza dushku and alyson hannigan kill me every time i watch dollhouse or buffy i’m in love with her

35. who is your celebrity crush?

amber liu

36. favorite movie?

selena

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to read a lot when i was a kid and the music of dolphins by karen hesse has always stuck with me for some reason idk if it’s my favorite but when i was a kid i checked it out at least once a month on our elementary library visits and even now i always find myself thinking about it

38. money or brains?

well if u don’t have money u can’t survive in this capitalist society so i mean

but if this question is asking what i want in a person i’d want the smart

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

my family calls me mimi and tbh it’s the only thing i actually feel comfortable with weirdly

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i’ve been to the hospital multiple times to visit people but i don’t remember actually needing to be there myself besides when i burned my hands as a child

41. top 10 favorite songs

this is def subject to change depending on my mood at any given moment but for right now:

hold me tight by bts

house of cards by bts

lie by bts

all mine by one ok rock

deeper deeper by one ok rock

we are by one ok rock

decision by one ok rock

clock strikes by one ok rock

como la flor by selena

moon river waltz by shinee

42. do you take any medications daily?

no i had issues with family and insurance so i had to stop seeing my psych and taking meds

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear?

my mom having anything else bad happen to her

45. how many kids do you want?

this is most likely not going to be my choice lol i don’t have a number in mind if i do have kids

46. whats your go to hair style?

short and whatever it wants to do when i get out of the shower

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

well i don’t really live in a house rn but my mom’s house is huge she just moved in and it’s crazy big i’m so happy for her also the house i’m gonna move into soon is p small but still cute

48. who is your role model?

idk probably my mom she’s been through a lot and is still going strong

49. what was the last compliment you received?

“you’re so sweet, you know that?” from a client

50. what was the last text you sent?

“nini <3 i love you”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh i have no idea i was probably in elementary school

52. what is your dream car?

something that runs, is either blue or grey, and magically doesn’t cost me anything to drive it

53. opinion on smoking?

it smells terrible and i don’t like to be around people who smoke

54. do you go to college?

yeah i just graduated

55. what is your dream job?

i have no idea i don’t know what i want i haven’t really thought that far ahead but i love my job so far so i’m alright with where i’m at

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

i don’t really have a preference as long as i’m with and near people i care about

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

i don’t think i’ve ever personally done that

58. do you have freckles?

yeah i have a couple scattered around

59. do you smile for pictures?

i make this weird stupid half smile face and i can’t stop

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

761

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

i have not

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i never want to not watch cartoons

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from wendy’s or mcdonalds?

i don’t like chicken nuggets from anywhere

64. favorite dipping sauce?

wait for what

i like soy sauce for potstickers

65. what do you wear to bed?

usually shorts and a t shirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no i’m terrible at spelling out loud

67. what are your hobbies?

i like to dance idk not much else tho i guess

68. can you draw?

nooooo

69. do you play an instrument?

i played guitar once but i forgot everything smh

70. what was the last concert you saw?

the bts wings tour

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. starbucks or dunkin donuts?

dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?

yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

e g

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i’ve thought about this actually and i’m mostly just hesitant about how difficult it would be to change my name on like all the legal paperwork and like bills and work things and it just sounds super complicated but i wish it could be easier because i hate where my last name comes from and if i married my current gf we would literally have the exact same name and we would be able to confuse people even more and i just think it would be funny

76. what color looks best on you?

black i think

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yes oh my god

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed always closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?

yeah i do

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

ok i get so mad when i go to a friend’s place who has long hair and i’m walking barefoot through their house or i’m sleeping over or i’m under a blanket or something and it just makes me so mad when i feel dumb long single strands of hair in my toes i hate it so much it makes me so mad idk man but this happened to me last night and i’ve been thinking about it ever since

81. last person you called?

ah well the last phone call that i was on was with the director of all the residential living things at my work

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

idk probably chocolate and vanilla with caramel

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular oreos

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

no sprinkles pls

85. what shirt are you wearing?

black and grey v neck t shirt

86. what is your phone background?

a picture of my gf i took a while back of her from a distance with the river and sunset in the background

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy with everyone besides my friends

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

only like a very specific like 2 people but when it’s anyone else i get really uncomfortable with being touched and you’d think that people wouldn’t just come up to you and start touching your hair and telling you how soft it is but it’s more common than you think and it makes me want to d ie

89. do you like your neighbors?

my nonexistent neighbors r gr8

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

i always wash it in the morning but sometimes i wash it at night too if i feel gross from the day

91. have you ever been high?

nope never

92. have you ever been drunk?

yes

93. last thing you ate?

a blizzard from dairy queen with pieces of brownies in it

94. favorite lyrics right now

ok i’m gonna be honest and just say i’m not in a place to listen to music rn i’ve been listening to exclusively podcasts and i have not listened to a song and not zoned out completely during it in a very long time and no lyrics are coming to mind

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

ah milk or white i guess i’m not a super big fan tho

98. favorite month?

june cuz my birthday also gay

99. what is your zodiac sign

gemini

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my dad