#like if i have to read a book of keefe just being like “this food is garbage and the air smells bad and it sucks”

[cavennmalore]

with the amount that the main series dunks on the forbidden cities i would just love for unraveled to be just an unabashed celebration of humanity. like yes there is poverty and pollution and crime but also there is dancing and music and rollercoasters and scary movies. let keefe discover the beauty here! the first book was all about the wonder of the lost cities but unraveled could be all about the wonder of the forbidden cities

[fintan-pyren]

Unraveled foreword from Shannon (spoiler free)

DEAR INTREPID KEEPER READERS

Right now, I have a feeling that many of you are thinking, Wait—why is this book 9.5? Why not just call it book 10? Or possibly: Where’s Sophie? And I don’t blame you! I realize that I’m following a slightly unconventional writing path with this series, and I promise that I’m not trying to mess with you!

(Even though messing with readers is one of the great joys that comes with being an author…)

The truth is that the Keeper story is a massive puzzle with all kinds of crucial pieces that don’t always fit together the way I think they will. And this piece has been especially stubborn—which I suppose isn’t surprising, since it’s connected to our infamously stubborn Lord Hunkyhair.

Surely you had to know that Keefe wasn’t just sitting around feasting on bizarre human foods for the thirty-six chapters that he was missing from Stellarlune. He was busy with a lot of Very Important Things that I’d planned to tell you all about when he finally reunited with Sophie. But when I attempted to write those chapters, they refused to cooperate. There were too many other urgent problems for Sophie and Keefe to deal with at that moment, and too many reasons why Keefe wasn’t quite ready to share his secrets. So I left book 9 with Keefe’s vague promise of “someday I’ll tell you all about my adventures in Humanland” and planned to write it all into book 10. But that plan hasn’t worked either—and after lots of deleting, I finally realized what was wrong.

Keefe’s “adventures in Humanland” are his story—and the only way for us to fully appreciate what happened is to live those moments with him.. We need to see what he sees, feel what he feels, hear what he thinks as the plot unravels.

(See what I did there???)

And since the main Keeper books are limited to Sophie’s POV, that meant I needed to add this bonus-book-of-sorts to the series. It picks up right after Keefe leaps away at the end of Unlocked Book 8.5 and covers everything he did while he lived in the Forbidden Cities.

Don’t worry—Unraveled Book 9.5 has plenty of shocking reveals and twists, like any other Keeper book. It’s also absolutely essential to read this book before reading Keeper #10. (And not just because I’m currently still writing book 10…)

And for all of you Keefe fans out there, it’s totally KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! (Though I suspect you’ll also find that Sophie and your other favorite characters aren’t nearly as far away as you might think.)

So settle into a nice comfy chair, grab your favorite snack, and get ready to spend some quality time in our world with the Keefster!

xoxo

Shannon Messenger

PS: If you haven’t read Stellarlune yet, STOP RIGHT HERE. Otherwise it’s massive spoilers ahead.

[crescentpaws]

OK CAR RIDE QUESTIONS 4 U (you don’t have to answer all of them im just also bored rn)

do you like to listen to music/podcasts on a car journey?

if so any recs?

favourite gas station snack?

hmmm…. what do you think fintan would do on a road trip… he seems like a doritos guy 2 me…

GETTING OFF TOPIC. what’s the best fast food place/place for road trip lunch?

worst road trip Event that makes you wanna commit arson

(like him… IM GETTING OFF TOPIC !)

ok man i give up i canf think of anything else roadtrip related. do you have a favourite fintan line/moment?

do you think he qualifies as doomed by the narrative?

whats your ideal shannon-be-damned fintan endgame (purposely vague— death/redemption/yaoi/all at once/secret fifth thing whatever you desire)

whats the funniest theory you have for unravelled? personally ithink keefes gonna meet alvar at the pride parade

when you rotate fintan in your head is it like a smooth 3d animation or the pear wiggler or a washing machine or?

1. yes i am an avid music enjoyer

2. idk man i just listen to set it off

3. can’t go wrong with candy & potato chips

4. i dunno about snacks but. he would be the guy in the passenger seat that props his feet up on the dash…. but in an annoying & distracting way. if he had the back seat all to himself he would sprawl out dramatically. & if he was the one driving he would definitely do random swerves & sudden accelerations/breaks just to annoy other drivers/the other people in the car. he is an asshole.

also i think any elf on a road trip would be complaining “are we there yet” because they’re too used to light leaping and don’t know how to wait more than a few minutes to travel somewhere.

but fintan would definitely prefer car drives over plane flights…. specifically because he would find it agonizing to be that high up in the atmosphere (therefore closer to the sun & everblaze) without being able to use his ability. he would squeeze himself into the tiny plane bathroom and have a breakdown.

5. augh i don’t know….. i’m a picky eater so there’s not many places i’ll go tbh….

6. any bathroom inconveniences…. i will kill someone

8. fav fintan line has got to be “sorry i’m late. the security here is murder” bc he had no right to say that wtf 😭😭😭 actually worst person ever he sucks so much. other fav peace summit lines are “there’s no need to be offended. being superior isn’t all it’s cracked up to be” and “how predictable of you” because i love it when he is an arrogant sarcastic bitch.

top 3 fintan scenes are the peace summit, his memory break, and his healing i think (not in any particular order). but also i love his “surprise” when he reveals that he’s still alive in book 4 becahse WHY IS HE SUCH A SMUG LITTLE FUCKER. hate that bitch (i love him so much)

9. i think it depends on how you look at it. young baby councillor fintan is definitely doomed i think. but evil bitch neverseen fintan has deliberately chosen all his actions and therefore i think is more doomed by himself than the narrative if anything. obviously though the series hasn’t ended yet so. we’ll have to see.

10. ALL AT ONCE‼️💥💥 in all seriousness though i have conflicting opinions…. i wouldn’t like a redemption arc because i know all that would mean would be him helping out the main characters from within his prison…. and i am not content with him rotting in prison for all of eternity. but i KNOW if he breaks out the series will have to end with him dying… which i also don’t want…. but i’d be more ok with his death if it was actually intense and emotional and dramatic unlike literally all the other neverseen deaths so far……. i think bronte should kill him homoerotically i think that would be neat.

11. keefe gets rabies 🔥🔥 maybe he somehow gets a british accent also…. idk. also if i’m forced to read a whole keefe book he better mention fintan at least once… just for me…….. (i need him to recap his time in the neverseen pls that would actually make me excited to read the book)

12. low quality image of him spinning around like he’s on a spinny chair (but there is no chair & he is just floating)

[luckyduck0]

Wearing Each Other’s Clothes- flufftober prompt!

—

A soft melody sounded out from a record player, causing the girl to hum as she flipped the page of her book.

Sophie sat in the windowsill of her room, entranced to the novel she started only hours before. It had become somewhat of a habit, when things got too much for her, Sophie would retreat to the safety of her room to decompress. And, oh, how that strategy always seemed to work.

Fortunately, this wasn’t one of those times where she was overwhelmed. She’d just woken up on the wrong side of the bed, in a way. However, to combat the annoying problem at hand, Sophie recalled some things Dex had told her.

“If you ever need to calm down, just do something you like. I always play Animal Crossing when I get overwhelmed.” Dex stated, munching on a candy bar. “Like, I’m typically a Mortal Kombat kind of guy, but sometimes I don’t need to stress about beating some character in a game, y’know?”

He was right. It kind of ticked Sophie off, a bit. Dex had a way with being right about the most obvious things, yet Sophie still needed a flashing light in her face to even get clue!

Anyway, she took his advice.

Eda had come up to check on her, since she hadn’t said much when Sophie came down to eat breakfast. She was worried, that much was clear, and Sophie appreciated it. The blonde had explained via note that she needed to have some “me-time” before she became a functional member of society again. And like the Angel she is, Edaline completely understood.

“Okay honey! Text me if you need anything, I love you!” She wrote in reply.

Sophie smiled at the words, sliding an “I love you” note back under the door before returning to her perch.

Another detail that made all the difference, was what she was wearing. The baggy sweatshirt was normal, but it wasn’t hers. You see, this particular hoodie belonged to her boyfriend, Keefe. They’ve been dating for months, six months almost. But this was the first time Sophie ever unconsciously wore something of Keefe’s. At least, until she finally noticed.

She’d remembered another thing Dex said, about eating comfort food and wearing comfort clothes. Sophie hadn’t really understood at the time, but she was starting to now.

Sophie was in the middle of a paragraph when she recognized a smell. One of vanilla and coffee. Sophie sniffed the air, wondering if her boyfriend had somehow managed to sneak another personalized air-freshener into her room, when she looked down. The hoodie itself was a midnight blue with some light-colored wording. Sophie sniffed again, and it was stronger.

She was a bit confused, any other day Sophie would have surely noticed the change of clothing. Perhaps it was because of the weird feeling she’d had all day, putting her into a slight funk. Or maybe, Dex was right, and clothing could bring comfort.

She didn’t have long to think about it before her door was being knocked upon. A familiar tune, something that a certain someone always used to be endearing. The blonde had half a mind to ignore it and continue reading, as she was still down in the dumps. But, she also remembered how dejected Keefe looked the last time she left him waiting outside like a stray.

With a sigh, Sophie reluctantly sat up and walked over to the door, her feet dragging as her body felt heavy like cement. Opening the door, Sophie couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat speed up for a second.

Keefe stood there with a goofy grin, armed with bags of what Sophie could only assume were snacks. However, her attention was attracted to Keefe’s shirt.

Or, more specifically, her shirt.

It fit nicely on him, despite his lengthy frame. Sophie silently thanked her past-self for always picking bigger sizes of shirts.

Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder, and Sophie looked up. Keefe, in all his glory, smiled down at her and lifted a brow.

“You good, Foster?” He asked, and Sophie quickly had the realization that he’d been speaking the entire time.

Clearing her throat, Sophie mustered up a pathetic “yes” in response.

Keefe hummed, nodding and then gesturing to her room. “May I come in, my lady?” He requested in a terrible British accent.

“Ha, yeah.” Sophie huffed out a laugh, moving to let him through the door. “Do my parents know you’re here?”

“If you mean Mrs. Ruewen, yes. If you’re talking about Mr. Macho Man himself, then no. Pretty sure you’re Mom said something about him feeding the bulls in the pasture…?”

Sophie smiled and rolled her eyes, the petty little feud between her boyfriend and her Dad had been long-standing, since before they even got together. Grady wasn’t very appreciative of Keefe’s troublemaker and carefree attitude, and Keefe just loves pushing other people’s buttons. So, clearly, it was a recipe for disaster.

Sophie closed the door, sauntering up beside Keefe as he laid out all the snacks on the bed.

“Hey.” She muttered, looking up to his eyes.

“Hi.” He replied back, his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her.

Again, Sophie’s heart rate sped up a little. She wasn’t embarrassed, she just, always felt floaty when Keefe looked at her. Especially with such a warm expression.

“What’re you doing here?” Sophie asked, sitting next to the pile of food on the bed.

Keefe puffed up, his face turning every shade but chivalrous. “Well, a little birdie told me you weren’t having a good day. And, since I’m a loving boyfriend and loyal partner, I took it upon myself to try and make you’re day a bit better. So, ta da!”

Sophie nodded in response, unwrapping a small Snickers and popping it into her mouth.

“A little birdie?”

“Jolie and Amy.” He admitted, with no hesitation. “Two little birdies then, I guess. But, they were worried and figured that, me being me, I could cheer you up the best.”

She smiled, swallowing the candy and standing up. “That’s nice. Thank you, Keefe.”

On her tip-toes, Sophie pecked the taller’s lips, already feeling much better than before. Still a bit gloomy, though.

Keefe didn’t waste any time, however. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a soft kiss to Sophie’s lips. Recovering from the shock quickly, Sophie returned the gesture and embraced him, her arms around his neck.

“Mm, you’re lips taste like chocolate.” Keefe points out, licking his lips and glancing up, as if to savor it.

Sophie smiled, a thing she seems to do a lot around him. “Yeah? Well, you smell really good, so.”

“Really? You like it? I got it from Linh, she said it matched my vibe, or something.”

She was right, vanilla and coffee really worked with Keefe’s personality.

“Anyway, is that my shirt?” Sophie asks, bluntly.

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I found it in my bag, must’ve gotten mixed in last time I was here. I actually started listening to these guys. Green Day, right? Yeah, they’re pretty good.” Keefe rambled.

It was one of things Sophie loved about him. His ability to just, talk. She also felt warm because, well, he started listening to one of her favorite bands! Just because of a shirt!

Quickly, Sophie pecked his lips again and then untangled herself from him.

“Feel better?” He inquired, blinking over at her.

“A little. Wanna watch a movie?”

“Heck yeah, lemme make some room real quick.” Keefe shoved the snacks into the plastic bags, setting them on the nightstand and hopping onto the bed.

Sophie brought her laptop over, as well as a weighted blanket and a fluffy one.

“Thank ya darlin.” Keefe teased in a country accent.

Sophie giggled and sat down, pulling the blanket over her and passing the other to Keefe, who gladly wrapped himself up in it. She opened the computer and thought about what to watch.

A few minutes later and they decide on A Nightmare Before Christmas, one movie they both could watch endlessly.

Keefe wrapped an arm around Sophie, pulling her closer and nuzzling his face into her hair. Her face heated up a bit at the affection, she was still getting used to it. Despite the length of their relationship, Sophie was still adjusting to physical affection. Though, she got over the embarrassment of it, now it was just feeling flustered.

“Oh, also..” Keefe spoke up. “That hoodie looks really good on you.”

Almost instantly, Sophie’s face exploded into a overheated mess of a red.

Okay, maybe she was still a little embarrassed.

@flufftober

[gentletomatoe]

Birthday: 6/19/2002

Horoscope: gemini

Fav colors: pink, black , sage green

Hobbies: reading, journaling, volunteering, listening to podcasts, occasional poetry writing, listening to music, thrifting , crocheting , & occasionally hate watching bad lifetime movies

Music genres: R&B, alternative , rap, pop, I like punk rock too

Fav artists: Tyler the creator, Mac miller , kali uchis , jcole , chief keef , gorillaz, summer walker, frank ocean , SZA , MJ, the smiths , young nudy , erykah badu

Fav movies : 10 things I hate about you , 13 going on 30 , legally blonde , kill bill , almost any Robert deniro or Quentin Tarantino film, cute Pixar movies , also A24 movies ( p.s I’m a horror movie fanatic)

Video games : harvest moon, Mario kart, tekken, final fantasy , street fighter , marvel vs capcom , fashion games , dbz

Tv shows : breaking bad , shameless , new girl , bojack horseman, probably any cartoon , SpongeBob fs , gossip girl , the sopranos , sex & the city

Fashion : simple , hyper feminine , skater culture , some punk/Y2K influence , 1990’s sears catalogs , minimalism , a touch of masculine pieces & some cottagecore lol

Dream cars : Porsche or g wagon or a vintage corvette ( in reality I want to have a black jeep ) lowkey I want a Volkswagen tho

Dream job: entrepreneur , pediatric nurse , BCBA, licensed therapist

Interests : makeup , stocks , books , animals , music , fashion , nature , YouTube videos about interesting stuff

Fav physical activity : hiking or yoga , I occasionally run

Comfort drinks : iced cold brew w vanilla sweet cream , iced matcha latte w boba or taro boba , raspberry arizona teas , lemon ginger tea , champagne or sweet wine , coconut redbull

Comfort foods : sushi , poke bowls , chicken wings , pizza , Mac & cheese , salads , cheese fries , crab legs , curry , butter chicken , Greek food, I could actually go on but also grilled cheese w tomato soup

Fav desserts: cheesecake , brownies , pecan pie , soft serve ice cream or sundaes , sour straws , gelato , icees

Personality traits : observant , goofy , joyful , humble , sweet , bold , smart , sarcastic , reserved

Character flaws: broken humor , I lose interest in others fast , I deem myself as “too much” , also “too nice” but I’m working on it , laughs In serious moments , can he either too withdrawn or too childish no in between

Description: hourglass figure , 5’6, fair-olive skin , button nose , big eyes , arched brows , dimples , soft features, thicc , I have a pretty cute smile >:)

Ethnicity : I’m pretty much white but moms side is Puerto Rican with a little bit of Filipino & Spaniard & dads side is completely white , French & English maybe Irish too ? Idrk I think I have an identity crisis on whether I’m Hispanic or not every other day so we’ll just go with white lol

Places you might find me : the thrift store , the book store , ulta , a park , the nearest boba shop , nature trails , the beach , animal shelter or my job

Likes : sanrio , makeup , memes , good music , $, podcasts , squishmallows , my cats , nature like a beach or river , pink , sweets , genuine people , honesty/unfiltered energy , spirituality & philosophy , the color green

Dislikes : rats both types , capitalism, bugs , dishonesty , tension , envious energy, the patriarchy lol , being lied or deceived , false media , clout chasers

I’m most likely to .. be extremely loyal to loved ones , take on care giving roles , take initiative and make decisions on my own , perform kind acts , show transparency, put a disrespectful person in their mf place , celebrate other’s accomplishments.

I’m least likely to .. break promises , talk down on others , be envious , engage in negative conversations, give into shallow mindsets , snitch bc fuck snitches lol.

Wants : commercial property, a pair of manolos , more tattoos , and a good sandwich ( maybe a loving partner & family in the future)

Needs: a long hug, a good education, a good career , a vacation out the country

Dream house : a ranch style house or villa styled house , if it’s out the country I’d love some type of cottage

Dream life : I always wanted to make passive income & work a job where I help others , I hope one day I get to experience motherhood with a loving husband by my side , the funds to support a soft life , to travel every once & a while

Relationship status : in love with myself / a cat lady

[cadence-talle]

like ask prompts?? ..... because if so I would like to ask for a kam prompt where they’re both strangers on an airplane and one of them falls asleep on the other and the other doesn’t want to wake him up because he looks so comfortable (and he’s hot)

lisTEN anon you can’t just SAY stuff like that-

Word count: 1,437

-/-

Tam hates airplanes. 

They’re cramped and weird-smelling and the cushioned seats seem to be designed to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Airplanes are high up on his list of Terrible Things, only being beaten out by his parents, his sister’s cat, and people in general. 

But unless he wants to drive three days cross-country, he doesn’t have much of a choice. At least the flight is only five hours. 

He sinks down into his seat and leans his head against the cool glass of the tiny airplane window, watching little people in orange vests move back and forth. Someone sits in the seat next to him. Tam doesn’t look up.

“Hi,” a male voice says. “Are you heading to Oregon?”

“Yep,” Tam responds shortly, because obviously he is, he’s on a plane to Oregon. The guy shifts in his seat, presumably buckling his seatbelt. 

“Cool. I like your hair, by the way. How’d you get it so silver?”

“I melted my father’s heirloom ring and dipped my bangs in it,” Tam says. If this guy is going to keep asking stupid questions, he’s going to give short answers. 

The guy hums, murmuring something like okay, that’s a little edgy, and lapses into silence. Tam breathes a sigh of relief- he does not want to be talking to strangers right now- and pops in his earbuds. He might as well finish this audiobook. 

Fifteen minutes and two chapters later, Tam turns away from the window. They’re still on the ground, not even close to the runway yet. He exhales and picks up his phone, tapping absentmindedly through the few texts he’s gotten before switching it to airplane mode. He turns towards the aisle and freezes. 

The guy in the seat next to him, the guy who was just talking his ear off, is really freaking hot. Carefully tousled blond hair that looks like it contains even more product than Tam's, icy blue eyes. He's sketching something in a notebook right now, tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth. Tam is ashamed at how adorable he finds it. 

Mentally, he slaps himself, shaking his head slightly. Stop looking at him, focus on your book, he thinks. With much effort, he looks out the window again. 

-/-

Half an hour later, they’re finally in the air, Tam’s finished his audiobook, and he hasn’t been able to get Annoying(ly Hot) Plane Guy out of his head. He taps his fingers against the armrest impatiently, wishing they were just in Oregon already. Suddenly, a warm weight settles on his shoulder. 

Annoying(ly Hot) Plane Guy is leaning on him. Annoying(ly Hot) Plane Guy is sleeping. On Tam’s shoulder. 

Tam is about to combust. From anger or awkwardness, he’s not sure.

Gently, he tries to push the guy off of him. Annoying(ly Hot) Plane Guy doesn’t wake up, instead snuggling his head closer to Tam’s neck. The movement causes the notebook in his lap to fall to the ground. 

Accepting that this is, in fact, his life, Tam sighs and picks it up. It’s a simple sketchbook, wirebound, with the name Keefe Sencen written on the top in messy script. Absentmindedly, Tam flips it open. It’s probably snooping, but he doesn’t really care; the owner- Keefe, apparently- is literally sleeping on his shoulder. 

The drawings are beautiful. Most of them are just sketches, black-and-white with the occasional watercolor. Some of them look so real they could leap off the page and Tam would barely be surprised. 

Tam turns to the most recent page, stunned to see it filled with a simple pencil sketch of him. He’s staring out the window, bangs hanging over one eye, and he looks so incredibly calm Tam almost wants to laugh. He’s never that collected in real life.

Still, it feels a little weird to be looking at something so obviously private, so Tam closes the sketchbook and tucks it into the seatback pocket in front of Keefe. 

After that, it’s kind of peaceful. Keefe snores away on his shoulder, Tam listens to music, and it’s fine. 

Of course, then the universe decides to ruin everything again. 

They hit a patch of turbulence just over Missouri, bouncing to and fro so wildly Tam can hear multiple people scream. The pilot comes over the speaker and announces that they will set down in the St Louis airport until things quiet down. 

Keefe wakes up during their descent, startling awake with wide eyes. “What happened?” He asks. Tam raises an eyebrow.

“You fell asleep on my shoulder. Then we hit a storm. We’re stopping in St Louis.”

“Oh.” Keefe’s quiet for a second, cheeks flushing a light pink. “Uh, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Tam says. “My name’s Tam, by the way.”

“Keefe,” Keefe says, and Tam has to remind himself not to sound like a total stalker by saying ‘I know.’

They end up walking side by side as they make their way out of the plane, silently looking around. Every airport looks the same to Tam, but the St Louis one seems to be… older than the one they left from back in New York. 

The plane’s passengers are directed towards a terminal, informed that they’ll be there for at least three hours, and then left alone. Tam groans and sends his sister a quick text informing her of the delay. She sends back a frowny face emoji, and that’s that. 

“Hey,” Keefe says, moving over to where Tam’s sitting. “Do you want to go get food or something? Looks like we’re gonna be here a while, and restaurants are probably crowded. Better to stick together.”

“Sure,” Tam responds, not commenting on the fact that that logic makes absolutely no sense. They consult a highly confusing map, finally decide to just go to McDonald’s, and head down the airport hallway. Halfway there, Keefe skids to a stop with a delighted gasp.

“What is that?” 

The thing in question is a large, obnoxiously yellow vending machine. It’s emblazoned with the words Ted Drewes Frozen Custard and features a picture of an old man smiling and holding a cup of frozen custard practically upside down. It’s the most horrific thing Tam has ever seen.

“I need it,” Keefe says. “I need the frozen custard.”

“Why?” Tam asks. “It’s probably expired and gross, anyway.”

“But Ted Drewes, Tam! He’s so happy with his frozen custard!”

“That man looks like he’s already dead and just being used as a prop,” Tam observes. “You do not need the frozen custard. Let’s go.” 

Keefe pouts, and Tam’s heart does something that would probably qualify it for the olympic gymnastics team. He rolls his eyes. “C’mon. I’ll buy you an ice cream at McDonald’s.”

-/-

Three hours, two McFlurries, and one race around the airport later, they’re boarding the plane again. This time, as soon as they both sit down, Keefe turns to Tam and says,

“Hi. Are you heading to Oregon?”

Tam snorts. “Idiot.”

Keefe gives him a thumbs-up and makes grabby hands at his earbuds. “Can I listen to your audiobook with you?”

Tam blinks. Normally, he’d say no to anyone besides Linh- he’d most definitely say no to a random stranger. Of course, these aren’t exactly normal circumstances.

“Sure,” he decides, handing Keefe the right earbud. The guy lights up like a goddamn christmas tree as Tam starts the chapter.

(Thirty seconds later, he pulls out the headphone to look at Tam incredulously. “What the heck are you reading?”

Tam’s too busy laughing to answer.)

-/-

“So, uh,” Keefe says when they’re standing next to the luggage pickup. Tam knows his sister is waiting somewhere outside the airport, but he figures she can wait a little longer. Keefe’s cheeks flush. “It was… nice? To meet you?”

“You too,” Tam offers a small smile. “I’ll- see you around, maybe.” He won’t, probably, but he doesn’t know what else to say. Keefe nods. 

“Yeah. I should go, but- here.”

He shoves a piece of paper at Tam’s chest and turns away. Tam barely manages a ‘bye’ before he’s gone. He stands there for a moment until he remembers to look at the paper. 

It’s another drawing of him- Tam honestly doesn’t know when Keefe had the time. He’s sitting on one of those seats at the airport gate, typing at his phone. There’s a tiny grin on his face, soft in the way he never lets himself be. Tam wonders how Keefe manages to capture it.

Under the drawing, there are words, and a phone number-

Call me. -K

It’s funny, Tam thinks. He doesn’t hate airplanes so much anymore. 

[cowboypossume]

so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:

a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.

dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.

so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers

marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them

speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).

there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”

keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.

oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly

i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e

but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨

oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no

ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.

please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.

yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.

hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.

if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.

i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?

like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)

not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 

but you know who never judged her?

m a r t y

so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too

and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything

and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that

she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything

but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in

she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something

and her new parents are proud of her

so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work

to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book

i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.

also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic

some questions i have about the society is:

it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??

this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 

so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??

is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.

that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.

coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?

fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel

his smile is mentioned three times

alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have

speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.

i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number

but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.

[zodiacspirit17]

Disappointment

You ever just... get real excited about a new book?

You ever just get really excited to delve back into the fantasy world? To get answers to all of your questions the previous book left unanswered?

It's around 700 pages long. You’ve been waiting a whole year for this book, and you had to wait for Christmas to get it - which is an even longer wait.

And then when you finally open it - finally get the chance to read it. You open the book to find a table of contents.

It turns out that this so-called next installment that “picks up right where the last one left off” is a lore dump. Filled with activities and “fun-facts”

The book in question is, what else, Unlocked. The 8.5th installment of the Keeper of the Lost Cities series. Going into this, I knew there would be fun extras. What I did not expect, was almost the whole damn book to be extras.

As of writing this, I haven’t actually read the 200 some pages containing the actual story - so rest assured, I’ll probably be posting about it once I have. That isn’t the focus of today’s rant.

But for a story that’s such a “game changer”, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. Shannon wastes 500 pages in this book to do... what? Fool around?

I’ll admit, some of the sections were charming, I haven’t read them all. Mostly skimmed.

But did we really need 29 pages of Sophie’s medical records? Did we really need 38 pages of Keefe’s disciplinary records? Did we need extensive guides to the elves’ diet - complete with a list and descriptions of all the food that exists? The answer is no. No we did not.

And don’t even get me started on the map. Messenger, you’re really telling me that Europe is on the left side of the world? And both North and South America is on the right? Are you really telling me that Greenland doesn’t exist? It wouldn’t be an issue if you told us this world was in some alternate dimension, or realm or planet or something. But you’re basing this series on planet Earth. Which has a world map!! (Not to mention the issue of how did the elves stay hidden for so long when their population is very likely out of control and they have to share their space with humans? And oH YEAH- HOW IS THEIR AIR SO MUCH PURER THAN THE HUMANS WHEN THEY SHARE THE SAME LAND-)

The actual story starts at page 505. It takes up a grand total of 1/4 of the book. Way to focus on the important things, Messenger. Like, I don’t know, writing your actual story?? You have only 9 books contracted!!! You can’t afford to be books this much space and time, when your publisher might not let you write any more stories!!!!

Why she couldn’t just publish this as something separate is beyond me...

As it stands, Messenger’s readers have to buy a book that’s little more than fun extras, in order to get answers in the last 200 pages. Most of the information about the Lost Cities can be found online in the Fandom Wiki. Same with all of the illustrations - just google search them. I did before I got this book. 

Other fun stuff I found!

This is a bit late for this, but if I were you - I wouldn’t buy this book. Get it from the library or something. Because otherwise? A complete waste of money.

Edit:

- Oralie and Kenric's thrones being next to each other is both cute and heartbreaking-

- Sandor and Grizel look.. not how I imagined them. They're not bad, and I actually love their designs. It's just weird because I was picturing something else

- The ogres look laughable... I can't take them seriously...

- All the family portraits? Yes. Absolutely yes!! I like Sophie's human family- and I'm living for Tam's gelled hair...

- I didn't expect Bullhorn to look like a ferret, I'll admit..

- I love all of Keefe's illustrated memories- just. Yes. To all of it (Tam brooding in the background in the sixth memory had me cackling-)

- Mr. Forkle's hair is apparently grey, when it's been said multiple times that it's black. Messenger sure does have a track record of messing up colors (did you know she said Keefe's eyes were sky blue in Neverseen?)

[monkberries]

tagged by @ourladylennon thanks <3

Name/nickname: Amy

Gender: bitch

Star sign: libra but i am the least libra any libra has ever been

Height: 5'4"

Time: 6 pm

Fav band: who do you think

Fav solo artist(s): Phoebe Bridgers, Taylor Swift, Matt Maeson, Hozier, Paul McCartney

Song stuck in my head: Going Mobile by The Who, for some reason

Last movie: Give My Regards To Broad Street :/

Last show: I am in the middle of watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with a friend right now. It’s really weird, tonally.

When did I create this blog: I think 2016

Last thing I Googled: “rolling stone stage 1965″

Other blog: a personal main I’ve had since 2011 and a sideblog for a youtube channel I love, no I will not be telling you which one lmao

Do I get asks: Yes sometimes, although I don’t know why, ha. It’s always nice seeing that little 1 above the mailbox though, even if I don’t get to answering in a timely way.

Why I chose my url: Flawless Paul song tbh

Average hours of sleep: Well lately I’ve been getting anywhere from 2 to 5.5 hours, which you wouldn’t think would be sustainable but I’m totally fine it’s totally fine I have no problems with this at all none

Lucky number: 15

Instrument: Clarinet for many many years, marching baritone in high school, a little flute, some very clumsy piano

What am I wearing: Wouldn’t you like to know lmao

Dream job: Librarian. Get to help people research stuff, put things in order, and just be around books all day.

Dream trip: Right now, anywhere warm. A beach somewhere in California

Favourite food: Pizza, not only because it’s good but because I am lazy and I don’t like cooking

Favourite song: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, live version. Gets me every time.

Last book I read: I just finished Get Back: The Unauthorized Chronicle of the Beatles’ Let It Be Disaster by Doug Sulpy and Ray Schweighardt. I’m in the middle of reading The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley, As Time Goes By by Derek Taylor, and Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe (although it’s been long enough since I picked up Say Nothing that I’d have to start over to remember everything).

Top three universes I’d like to live in: One where John wasn’t killed at 40; one where Trump lost the 2016 election so soundly that he went into hiding out of embarrassment never to be seen again; one where cancer didn’t exist.

i’ll tag @lindamccartney @eppysboys @james-winston and @savageandwise but, much like war being over, only if you want it :)

[minaim-blog]

DaTr Date Night - Chapter 3

The weekend is finally here and Dib is anxious to get the night started. But Tak being late might just be the least of problems. Can tensions be managed or was this whole party a mistake?

“Dib, if you’re going to pace do it in your room.” Gaz said as she laid on the living room couch, her Game Station in hand. Dib was consumed with his thoughts and paced unaware Gaz had spoken to him. “Dib!” Gaz said to him forcefully as she lowered her Game Station from her face, it pulled him out of his trance and she continued, “Do you mind? You’re giving the whole house anxiety.”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry…” Dib said apologetically as he writhed his hands together and then said as he continued to pace, “It’s just… Don’t you think we should have heard something by now?”

Gaz returned her attention to her game and said, “You told her to text us if there’s a problem. As far as I’m concerned no news is good news.”

Dib went over to the back of the couch and looked down at Gaz as he said, “But not even a status message, or saying she got home safe?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be her boyfriend or something?” She said raising an eyebrow. “You know she never texts us.”

“She texts me…sometimes.” Dib glanced to the side as he finished. Usually it was him who texted first. Tak preferred meeting face to face if she wanted to talk but she wasn’t completely averse to texting or calling if she needed company.

“She messages us if there’s a problem.” Gaz said as she paused her game still very annoyed, “Or if she’s feeling lonely and wants to hang out. But she’ll never text us just for the sake of it.”

“But she was really worried at Skool and-”

Gaz interrupted him, “She seemed fine when I saw her. And she was fine walking home on her own. So something tells me she’s fine.” Gaz gritted her teeth and brought all her attention to her game as she finished.

“But what about Zim?”

“What about him?” Gaz said completely indifferent.

“He should have been here half an hour ago. Do you think it’s related?”

“Jesus Christ!” Gaz set her Game Station down on the couch and sat up to give Dib the evil eye as she said, “You’re seriously with Tak on the whole hunter thing?”

“Well…I mean it’s a possibility.” Dib said as he straightened up and looked away from her, he could never meet Gaz eye to eye when she gave him that look.

She laid back down onto the couch and brought up her Game Station as she said, “He had to shake off Keef, and Gir’s probably being more than a handful as usual. I haven’t heard from either of them, so shut-up and relax. We can worry about it tomorrow if we don’t hear from them.”

Dib didn’t say anything else related to the matter after Gaz finished and only rubbed the back of his head. He sat down on the armchair across from the sofa with his hands folded, and was still visibly anxious.

“Don’t you have your phone, or a book to read, or something?” Gaz said without looking up from her game.

“No. Keef has it.” Dib said tired as he leaned his head back on the chair.

“Right.” Gaz drawled out, but didn’t say anything else on the matter. The two of them were now silent in the living room. With nothing else to do Dib sat in the chair as his mind wondered. He was somewhat hopeful that Keef didn’t have his phone and that it was just sitting in the office at Skool. If he did, the worst he could try to do with it would be to unlock it and maybe get Zim’s phone number. He dreaded the conversation that would lead to between Zim and himself if that happened. It wouldn’t have been the first time Keef got ahold of his number, but it was a pain every time that happened. That meant Zim would have to rewire his phone to a new number and give it out to everyone so they could be in contact. Dib thought that more than likely would not be enough, as recently whenever Keef got Zim’s number he had been able to connect even after it was rewired. None of them were sure how he was able to do it. Tak thought he was able to connect directly to the sim card of Zim’s phone, but the term “sim card” was lost to Zim as he never tried to perfectly mimic Earth technology the same way Tak had. All of the phones Zim made for himself followed the basic principles of how a phone worked, which according to him was to send and receive messages from other phones. The exact way in which he accomplished this technologically Dib was unsure of, as he never got a chance to inspect a phone made by him. The few gadgets of his Dib had seen were indistinguishably Irken in terms of capabilities, but their outer façade passed as Earthly. Dib guessed that Zim’s phone number was treated similar to a forwarding protocol and that there was another physical address connected to his device like the MAC address of a computer. This would explain why Keef was able to connect to his phone after the number was changed, and why Zim had to make an entirely new phone to throw him off. Regardless of how Keef could stalk Zim, Dib only hoped he didn’t tag along with him to tonight’s meetup, or else it would be completely ruined.

His father was out for the weekend on an important business trip, not even his roaming monitor would be in the house. Dib and Gaz wanted to take advantage of his complete absence by having a game and movie night at their house, and then the two of them had planned to sleep over. Their father respected their privacy so he never had any cameras installed anywhere in the house except for his lab. This meant both Zim and Tak would be able to come over and completely be themselves and no one would have to guard against any kind of conversation. They could even turn off their disguises if they wanted to, but Dib thought this was rather unlikely. The only time Tak would remove her disguise was when she was in her home base, when she was in the underground portion of Zim’s, and when she was off the planet. Anywhere else and she always had her disguise on. Compared to Zim who was much more relaxed and would probably take off his disguise the moment he entered the house. This was assuming Tak didn’t show up tonight, as she was always very strict with him and usually “persuaded” him to keep his disguise on when she was with him. Dib and Zim did hang out without his disguise if it was just them and they could get away with it, or sometimes Zim would wear his old one, but Tak didn’t need to know about their outings. All of this only brushed through his mind as he came back to worrying about her. As he sat thinking, the doorbell rang at the front door and he jumped to attention.

“That’s probably them. Why don’t you get it?” Gaz said, but it was unneeded as he was already getting up before she spoke. He made his way to the front with apprehension and excitement, but before he could open it the door slammed opened. Gir squealed with glee as he paraded past him with junk food in arms into the living room. Dib brought his attention from him as he looked to the doorway where Zim was now walking through. He had on his hard-light disguise and was carrying a plastic bag slung over his shoulders. His outfit was slightly modified from when he was at Skool to be a bit more casual, and from what he could tell he was already wearing his pajamas underneath a pink sweatshirt.

“Hey Dib. We brought snacks and a few movies to choose from like you asked. Is Tak here?” Zim said as he let himself inside and closed the door behind him.

“No she hasn’t made it yet. Did you hear from her?” Dib asked hopefully.

“Nope.” Zim said without inflection. He was trying to hide the pleasure in his voice but gave up as he went on, “Maybe she won’t come at all I can take off this crappy disguise.” He laughed slightly to himself as he walked past Dib. He tossed the bag to him but Dib fumbled and dropped it which caused candy and a few DVD’s to fall onto the floor.

“Aw, come on Dib I was right next to you.” Zim groaned slightly as he went down to the floor to pick up the mess. Dib did the same and said,

“Sorry. Guess I’m just out of it tonight.” He ended his statement with a small forced laugh.

“Don’t be sorry it’s your house.” Zim said indifferently as he unwrapped a small candy while cleaning up. He threw the wrapper into the bag and said while chewing, “Tak’s still eating you, huh?”

“Yeah. I guess you could say that.” Dib said as they finished putting the candies and DVD’s back into the bag. When they finished they were still sitting on the floor and he asked Zim, “You really think it was just sun spots?”

Zim shrugged where he sat facing Dib and still spoke indifferently, “Honestly I have no idea. It could have been sunspots, or a programing loop that was always running in the background that just decided to kick in today. Or maybe it was an attack.” He got up to his feet with the bag slung over his shoulders again. He reached his hand down to Dib, and he could see a small trace of worry in his eyes, but Dib knew it was worry over him and not for Tak. After Dib made it to his feet Zim asked, “If you’re worried why don’t you text her?”

Dib felt a small wince at Zim’s question, he tried to choose his words carefully. He didn’t want to start a fiasco by saying Keef might have his phone, especially since he wasn’t sure if he actually did. “I can’t. I…lost it at Skool.” Dib was worried he was too vague after he spoke and couldn’t help himself from glancing away from Zim for a moment.

“You did? Aw that sucks man.” Zim said consolingly, not noticing any irregularity in the way he was talking. “Do you want me to make you a new one?”

Dib turned back to Zim slightly shocked from his offer, “You’ll make me one? And, and a cool one too? With alien gadgets and stuff like I always wanted?” Dib ended with excitement trickling into his voice.

“Uh….? Yeah. Like, it’s not a big deal. Why didn’t you ever ask me before if you wanted one?”

Dib’s excitement cooled for a moment at Zim’s question. “Yeah, why didn’t I ever ask you?” He thought to himself as he was in deep reflection, which was broken by Zim’s disguised hand snapping in front of his face.

“Uh, Dib? Hello? You in there Dib?” Zim said as he snapped in front of his face.

Dib waved his hands away from him and said in a slight daze, “What? Oh yeah sorry. I spaced out there for a second.” He brought his hand to the back of his neck and stretched before he continued, “I guess…I don’t know. I just never thought to ask you. When Tak showed me hers it was just something cool at the time. And when she didn’t offer to make me one I just figured that was it, and moved on.”

While he was talking Zim’s look of confusion faded away into mild frustration, and then ended in a smug grin. “Let me guess.” Zim started to say as his grin grew into a smile and he walked into the living room, “She told you that, ‘you don’t need one’ or that she couldn’t be bothered to make one for you.” He made his way to the couch Gaz was hogging and gestured her to move her legs to make room for him at the end. She groaned as she did but did not look up from her game. “Weren’t these her exact words?” He finished as he sat down and spread his arms over the back of the couch.

Dib went to the same chair he was in a moment ago and said, “Yeah. That’s pretty much what she said.”

“Yup, yup. Classic Tak!” Zim said sarcastically. He hunched over after he finished, and his expression returned to annoyance. “Why did you guys even invite her? You know she’s a party pooper.”

“She’s not a party pooper, she’s…” Dib started to say as he tried to find the right word to use.

“She’s high strung.” Gaz chimed in from her game, and Dib replied with agreement.

“High strung? That’s putting it lightly.” Zim said and leaned his head against his hand on the armrest. He was quiet before he glanced to Dib and said, “She still hates me you know.”

Dib was shocked, not so much at what Zim said as he was by his abrasiveness.

“She’s annoyed by you.” Gaz said once again chiming in. “I am annoyed by both of you.” She said as she glanced to both Zim and Dib.

“Yeah you too Gaz, thanks.” Zim dismissed her with a wave of his hand playfully.

“She definitely doesn’t hate you Zim.” Dib started to say.

“No she definitely does.” He snapped back to Dib. “She goes out of her way to avoid me unless it’s for a prank (and those usually cause me bodily harm), and whenever the four of us are together she’ll either pretend I’m not here or put me down any chance she gets.”

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad.” Dib tried to reassure him but he felt himself getting red in the face as he spoke, “She was really grateful to you for helping her earlier.”

“No. She really wasn’t, and she only took my help because you pushed her to.”

“Yeah but you guys had a moment though right? You know, when you were talking about Mimi?” Dib was growing tense and shot finger guns at Zim as he spoke.

“What moment?” Gaz paused her game and looked to the two of them.

Zim sighed and said, “I can’t really even remember, but earlier when I was looking at her disguise she said she didn’t know where Mimi was or something. So I said I’d help her and send Gir out to go look for her, and then she thanked me for it. You know? Like a normal decent person.”

“You haven’t always been what I’d call a ‘decent person’, and I probably wouldn’t call you one now.” Gaz said.

“Hey, I think I’ve been more than decent!” Zim said as he brought his hand to his chest in pride, “Especially more decent that Tak has, considering how long she’s been friendly to you two. And how long has that been exactly?” He looked to Gaz and Dib with outstretched arms as he ended.

Dib scratched his head as he thought. “More than two years now, I think? There was a good bit of time between you and her becoming friends with us.”

“Yeah, and then how long have the three of us been friends?” Zim said.

Dib took off his glasses and wiped them as he continued, “I think about two years after you came, you and me officially became friends. Unless you want to the count the time after you realized you were banished and were just messing around here.”

“I wouldn’t. So four years?” Zim said.

“I’d say three and a half at most.” Gaz chimed in again from her game and continued, “I didn’t believe you were friends until after the first six months. I think even a year later I was still expecting you or Dib to make this big show of it just being a lie to get close to each other or something.”

“Oh I know, that sounds like something I would do.” Zim chuckled to himself lightly, some pride in his voice. “So yeah. I’ve been your friend for three, almost four Earth years. Then Tak has been your friend and my ‘friend’, and I’m using that term loosely.” Zim gestured his hands into air quotes as he said the word, “For only two years now. So um, yeah.” Zim crossed his arms over his chest as he ended

“So…what are you saying?” Dib asked Zim somewhat confused, but he had an idea as to what he was suggesting.

“Nothing! Nothing.” Zim curled up on the couch and didn’t say anything further for a moment and seemed to be thinking about what to say next, “It’s just… why do you- why does she still hate me after two years?”

“Aren’t you the reason she had to spend fifty years on planet Shit or something?” Gaz said from her game.

“It’s planet Dirt, and no. Kind of. Yeah.” Zim tossed his hands back and forth as he spoke, “But it wasn’t really fifty years (probably). Tak knows this, and I’ve explained it to Dib, and I’m pretty sure I’ve even explained it to you. Time doesn’t really work when you’re out in space. It’ll feel like you’ve spent fifty or a hundred years somewhere but really it’s only a few months at most. Like Foodcourtia!” Zim tapped his head as he remembered the planet he spent the first few years of his original banishment. “They get this weird period of gravitational pull that prevents anyone from leaving the planet for a few months, but it will feel like fifty years on the planet even though your body won’t age like fifty years actually passed.”

“I don’t know if I really believe or even get that Zim.” Dib said as he scratch his head, “I mean I’ve brought this up with my dad and he said something like that shouldn’t even be remotely possible.”

“Yeah, but how far into space has your dad ever gone?”

“He’s gone through a lot of our solar system.”

“That’s small potatoes for me, and even for you now.”

“But I’ve never experienced any ‘time displacement’ like what you’re talking about.”

“What about that black hole you fell into a month ago? You told me it felt like you were in there for a week but it was only a few minutes.”

“That’s from the event horizon.”

“Well it doesn’t matter.” Zim concluded their argument with an aggressive tone, “It’s a real thing and it’s been a big problem for the empire. It’s made their communications with different planets really inconsistent, and with so many Irkens all across the universe all at different times no one’s sure how much time has really passed.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting to ask you.” Gaz paused her game and looked to Zim as she spoke, “How old are you really?”

“Oh? Couldn’t tell you.” Zim waved his hand brushing aside the topic, “I’ve experienced what feels like over 100 years, but how old I really am and how long I’ll live I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Gaz said plainly, “Just curious on your life cycle.”

“Irkens don’t really know what our normal life cycle is, since we never hang out on one planet for long. So who knows? I could die next week or live on this planet forever…” Zim was silent for a moment as he ended his explanation and felt a small stare from both Gaz and Dib during it. After his pause he spoke violently, “Anyway, anyway, Tak! Why did we invite her?” He folded his hands together and pointed outwards when he finished.

“Dib’s girlfriend.” Gaz said simply.

“And your friend.” Dib said to Gaz, “And she’s yours too.” He said turning to Zim, “She just…has a lot to get over.”

“Well she’s had plenty of time to.” Zim’s tone indicated he didn’t want to explore the matter further. He rearranged himself on the couch and laid his legs over the armrest. He leaned back onto Gaz’s legs, who let out a small groan but only moved her legs slightly closer to herself. “So what are we doing?”

“I guess we can watch a show or play a game until Tak gets here. And maybe we can get something to eat.” Dib sniffed the air, and smelled the hot grease of bacon, and warming pancake batter. “Who’s making pancakes? And where’s Gir!?” Dib stood up and ended in a slight panic as he realized Gir wasn’t in the living room with them.

“He’s in the kitchen.” Gaz said calmly, still barely looking up from her game.

“Why is he in the kitchen cooking?” Dib looked to her confused.

“I like breakfast for dinner and he’s a good cook.”

“Better make sure you tell him to make something you can actually eat. I’ve made that mistake before and he put motor oil in my cereal, and worse too.” Zim said and shuddered.

Gaz looked to Dib and said, “Can you go check since you’re already up? And tell him I want blueberry pancakes.”

Dib sighed annoyed and said, “Yeah, I guess I’ll go do that.” He then went off into the kitchen.

After Dib left Zim sat back up, and patted his hands on his legs before he looked to Gaz and said, “So…Want to finish our Sonic marathon?”

She looked up to him from her game and after putting it down said, “Whatever you say Tails.” She then got up and started setting up the game and controllers.

“Hey I’m not being Tails again! You got to be Sonic last time.” Zim whined.

“Yeah, and you’re going to be Tails again. It’ll be easier, that way we don’t have worry about you dying and slowing us down.” She finished setting up the game and tossed the second controller to Zim as she went back to the couch.

Zim flinched slightly but caught the controller in his lap. After Gaz sat back down he crossed his arms and said, “Hump! I bet Dib never has to deal with this when he’s with Tak.” Gaz snorted in response to which Zim replied, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Gaz chuckled to herself slightly as she started the game.

As she sat back down on the couch Zim got in her face and said, “You say that but you really mean ‘it is something’, right?” Gaz didn’t say anything and tried to ignore him. Zim was always nosey about anything he wasn’t in on, so she was regretting her comment that sparked his interest. Even with her ignoring him, Zim was undeterred and said persuasively to her, “Come on. You can tell me.” She had enough of his begging so she turned and gave Zim the evil eye. Unfortunately he was unfazed, and all he did was pull his fingers across his lips and ‘zipped’ them shut. Gaz was fed up with him and was about to give in before she groaned aloud. “Come on. What’s going on with them? Is Dib whipped?” He asked innocently after she finished.

“No.” Gaz finally responded to him with a firm response, bur after a brief moment of thinking she drew out the words, “Kind of…”

“I knew it!” Zim says ecstatically, “What happened?” All of his attention was drawn away from the game and he was sitting on his knees on the couch facing her.

The way Zim acted over any little secret he could be in on was always funny to Gaz. She thought he acted like a kid that couldn’t bear to be out of the loop. She laughed slightly to herself as she said, “Oh my God…You’re like a Karen for gossip.”

“Wait, who is this Karen? And what does she have to do with this?” Zim asked confused.

“Nothing. Dumb Earth slang, look it up on your own time.”

“Right. Anyway you were saying?” Zim said eagerly, not allowing the two of them to be distracted from the topic.

Gaz groaned aloud again. She had been trying to play the game the whole time Zim spoke to her and was now setting it aside to speak to him. “You know how they went to the arcade the other night?”

“No. But continue.”

“Well I guess Tak lost to Dib on DDR and she had a fit over it or something.”

“Really? Just over losing to him?” Zim said confused, but after he thought about it briefly he thought that it was unsurprising.

“Well yeah, but I guess she went off on this whole thing about the empire and not accepting failure and she was really upset over it.” Gaz finished her brief explanation and then picked up her controller to continue playing in hopes that Zim would be satisfied.

She was surprised to find that he was. He said sympathetically to her and to himself, “Oh. That sounds about right.” After that he picked up his controller and continued playing with her.

The two of them were silent as they played and Gaz was the one to break the silence as she said, “She should probably talk to someone, besides you know, me and Dib.”

“Like how you’re seeing someone?”

“Yeah. I was thinking that.” Gaz said quietly to herself.

“Did you mention this to Dib?”

“No. And don’t you dare.” Gaz responded quickly with agitation.

“Hey my lips are sealed. Nobody knows anything you tell me. Not even Gir.” He reassured her.

“Yeah well, just forget about what I said for now.”

“Sure thing.” Zim said and the two of them continued playing. They weren’t silent as they played but the conversations they had only pertained to the game, which suited her just fine. The closest people in Gaz’s life were her father, and Dib; and more recently Tak, Zim and Gir had entered into her life, but she rarely shared her feelings with any of them. She knew this was out of a copping mechanism she developed when she was younger. Her father was somewhat absent from her and Dib’s life growing up, and they each had their own ways of dealing with it. Dib had his obsession with Zim and the supernatural and Gaz had her video games and reclusiveness. She thought that both Dib and herself had mellowed out over the years, which was a very good thing. She was still reserved with others and Dib was still very much into the supernatural, how ecstatic he must be to have an alien girlfriend, she thought to herself. Zim was Dib’s best friend, and his only friend besides Tak, but recently Gaz had found herself able to confide in him things she didn’t or couldn’t talk to her father or Dib about. About a year ago she started seeing a counselor. After having very little success with them as a child and going through about a dozen until she found one she liked. While she had been seeing them for a year nobody but Zim knew about this. When she thought on her reasons for confiding in Zim what she couldn’t to others she realized it was because Zim was an alien. As one he had very limited or no preconceived ideas about anything she could tell him about. Everything was foreign to him, so he was the perfect person to hear a unbiased opinion from, apart from his still very much present ego. Still she was happy to call him her friend, and as she thought about the past few years she spent with both him, Tak, and Dib she found herself to be very happy, even if she didn’t always show it on the outside.

______________________________________________________________

Dib saw a thin haze as he entered the kitchen, and heard bacon and pancakes sizzling on the stove. Gir’s disguise gave him the appearance of a fourteen year old boy, and he stood at the counter next to the stove stirring a bowl as he hummed to himself. He turned his head 180 degrees around and said, “Hey Dib! You here to help?”

Even though Dib knew Gir was a robot, he couldn’t help but feel disturbed by him turning his head around completely as he said, “Uh no, I’m just checking in. Gaz wants blueberry pancakes, and she wanted me to make sure you were making something the rest of us can eat.”

Gir turned his head around into the same direction completing a 360, and whined to himself, “Aw, but I already started.”

Dib went up to the counter where Gir was working. He had four pancakes on the grill that were uncooked side up, and a pan of bacon in the back. Dib also saw a few questionable ingredients out, one of the worst was rat poison, but he remembered hearing somewhere that it wasn’t lethal to humans. Even so, he thought it was best to dispose of the batch. “That’s alright Gir. You can have those pancakes for yourself. What did you put in the batter?” He said pointing to bowl he was stirring.

“Nothing. Just the mix.”

“Just the mix?” Dib said dubiously.

“Well the mix, orange juice, turmeric, garlic powder. Uh, whatever this stuff is.” Gir picked up the container of rat poison as he finished and shook it into the bowl. Dib grabbed his arm and took the rat poison away from him as he said,

“Maybe we should just start over.” He took the bowl away from him and dumped it into the sink. “What did you put on the bacon?”

“Nothing.” Said Gir innocently.

“Nothing?” Dib asked and Gir replied with affirmation. Dib continued, “Just bacon? No rat poison? Soap? Bleach? Sewage?”

Gir replied no to all of them as he listed and ended with, “Just bacon!” as he brought up his arms in exclamation.

Dib was satisfied enough to trust him, but probably not to try it later himself. He finished dumping the bowl and left it in the sink to wash later. “That should be fine then. But I think I’ll stay and help you finish.” Gir hugged him and squealed with glee, Dib pushed him off and said, “Just follow the directions, okay? And we should probably rinse off the grill once yours are done.”

“They should be good now.” Gir said and immediately scoped up the four unfinished pancakes with the spatula and placed them into his mouth which unhinged like a hatch. He chewed obnoxiously as he told Dib he didn’t know what he was missing and finished them in only a few seconds.

Dib considered Gir one of his friends along with Zim and Tak, even despite his oddities. In truth he liked Gir because of his oddities, but he also found him overbearing and even disturbing at times. He reeled slightly as Gir finished eating and said, “I think I’m good.” He went over to the stove and activated the self-cleaning functionality for the now open grill. One of the many benefits of having the smartest man on Earth for a father was that all the contraptions in the house were state of the art. They were upgraded or replaced repeatedly throughout the year as his father used his own home as a testing ground for his inventions. Sometimes this meant having to deal with a faulty device until his father found the time to iron out the issues. Thankfully the stove had no such problems, but their dishwasher was currently out of commission so they would have to hand wash everything else. “That should be good in a few minutes. We can start making the batter in the meantime.” He reached over to get the bowl in the sink but was stopped by Gir as he grabbed his arm and said excitedly, “I want to clean it!”

“Okay, just make sure you only use the dish soap.” Dib said a bit concerned.

“Okay dad.” Gir replied annoyed and went to the sink to begin cleaning.

Dib brought his hand to his face and squinted, “Please don’t call me dad.”

“Can I still call your dad that?” Gir said somewhat concerned.

“Yeah sure, whatever.” Dib said disregarding what he said. He saw Gir rummage through the cabinet underneath the sink where they kept the soap and sponges when his father’s inventions had a malfunction. Gir had been to the house plenty of times before, and Dib thought he probably knew the layout of the place better than he did. “Gaz wanted blueberries. Do you know if we have any?” He asked Gir.

“Fridge, second shelf down from the top, back right. They should be Membrane brand.” Gir replied without hesitation as he cleaned the bowl. Dib went to the fridge and followed his instructions, and sure enough there was an unopened bag of Membrane brand blueberries there. His father had an entire line of packaged food products ranging from meat to produce. All grown in the lab to be identical to the real thing and free from any moral inconveniences or pollution. Dib had tried almost all of them before at least once. His father claimed they were both chemically and biologically identical apart from any impurities that shouldn’t be there, but Dib could still tell the difference between the lab grown and the real thing. His father told him it was purely a psychological fallacy his mind was creating, and Dib wondered if his father still thought of him as his insane son. He set aside that thought for a moment and asked Gir if they had any pancake mix left. Gir replied that it was inside the box, so he went back over to the counter and found it, along with Gir at the sink. He didn’t seem to be cleaning the bowl and instead filled the sink halfway with water, and soap bubbles overflowed from it which he played with. He gently called Gir’s name and he replied with a confused, “What?”

Dib paused for a moment before he said, “Never mind. Just clean yourself off and come help me.” Gir shook and wiped himself clean and then the two of them began preparing the next batch. Dib produced a new bowl from the cabinet and gathered the ingredients for Gir to mix while he supervised and manned the grill. As they worked Gir asked,

“Have you heard anything from Kitty?”

“What?” Dib asked surprised.

“You know Kitty. Meow, meow.” Gir imitated a cat’s claws with his hands as he mewed.

“Oh, Mimi. No I haven’t. Have you heard anything from them?” Gir replied that he hadn’t and then the two continued in silence before Dib started, “Hey Gir, I know you and Mimi get along good, but what do you think of Tak?”

“Angry lady? She’s okay. She doesn’t like my master for some reason though.”

“You still call Zim your master?” Dib was surprised, he couldn’t remember the last time Gir called Zim ‘master’ and he thought either he stopped doing it or Zim told him to stop.

“Only when he’s sad sometimes.” Gir said absentmindedly, he was intently focused on stirring the batter.

“Oh.” Was all Dib replied for a moment. He looked behind him to the doorway leading to the living room where Zim and Gaz were. He pondered over what Gir said and began putting together the pieces from Zim’s words earlier. “Is he said right now?” He tried to ask quieter in case someone would overhear.

“Kind of…He doesn’t really want to be here with angry lady.”

Dib moaned quietly to himself and said, “He said he was fine with it when I asked him last week. Are they going to be at each other’s throat the whole night?” Gir shrugged as a response and Dib asked himself what he was going to do.

“Maybe you don’t need to do anything.” Gir said, and Dib was confused by what he meant but he continued, “I mean I really like Kitty and she really likes angry lady, so she can’t be that bad, and I think you like her too.”

“Tak? Yeah, she’s cool I guess.” Dib said in pretend indifference as he smirked to himself.

“Well Kitty said she really likes you and Gaz, and my master likes you too. So maybe they can like each other if they want to try.”

At Gir’s simplistic but rather optimistic statement Dib’s mood improved immensely, “Hey yeah, you’re right Gir! If they can like me and Gaz they must have something in common, so why can’t they like each other if they try to?”

“Yeah! And if angry lady and Zim try to kill each other just be friends with the one left.”

“Uh, yeah. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. And maybe don’t call Tak ‘angry lady’ if you can.”

“Can I call her the names Zim uses?” Gir asked eagerly.

Dib was about to say yes but thought about it for a second and then recanted, “No! Just call her Tak, or if you need to give her a nickname just something that isn’t bad.” While the two of them talked the doorbell rang and interrupted Dib from his sentence. “That must be them, I’ll be back in a minute!” He left abruptly and heard Gir say behind him to tell Mimi he said hello. He made his way from the kitchen to the front through the living room and saw Gaz and Zim sitting on the couch playing Sonic together on the television.

Zim turned around for a moment to yell to him on his way by and said, “Hey Dib! If it’s the pizza guy I’ll pay you back later. I forgot my Earth money at home.”

Dib stopped in his tracks to the door at Zim’s statement and said annoyed to him, “Why did you order pizza if we’re making food?”

Zim’s only response was a shrug, then Gaz said, “What’d you order?”

Zim said candidly, “Bloaty’s. What else?”

“If you don’t have money I’ll pay for it.” Gaz said back to Dib. Then the two of them returned to their game.

Dib groaned out loud and went over to the door with decreased excitement. The last thing he wanted was to answer the door for the weird, greasy, pizza delivery guy Bloaty’s always sent them. On his way to the door the bell rang again and with that Dib was convinced that it was the pizza guy at the door. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” He said irritated and dreaded the conversation he would have with him. Dib imagined he would struggle to make change for the money he gave him and worse, as they always seemed just barely above brain-dead. He opened door and almost said, “What do you want?” but was stopped by a familiar sight.

Tak was standing under the dim light of the front porch in her human disguise as she looked to the side off into the distance. She was caring a backpack and had on Gaz’s burgundy Game Station hoodie from earlier today, and the hood was pulled back showing her face. Her hair was in the style of a longer somewhat messy bob, and it was black instead of her usual dark purple. Her hands where placed in her front jean’s pockets, which were skinny and black. At her feet where her usual style of boots she wore and Mimi, who rubbed against her legs as she mewed hello to Dib. Tak turned away from whatever she was looking at towards Dib. She had a look of indifference and disinterest on her and only said the word, “Hey.” As a small grin grew across her face.

Dib replied similar with only the word, “Hey.” Then he stepped out the front door and went to hug her, and she followed his embrace. The two of them stayed there under the front porch light in the twilight of the sky that was drenched in orange with light pollution of the nearby city. The only sound between any of them was the soft and barely noticeably sound of Mimi purring as she rubbed against their legs. After a moment they stopped hugging and Dib brought her inside and closed the door behind them as he said, “I like your hair.”

Tak stepped into the house and startled slightly at his comment, then she turned to look at herself in a mirror on the wall. “Yeah I tried to match Zim’s wig, since Zita saw me.” She touched and readjusted her hair as she looked into the mirror. “I don’t know how long I’ll keep it. Probably not too long, I miss the purple.”

Dib joined her in the mirror and said, “Yeah, me too. Not that black doesn’t look good on you.” Dib added quickly, “The purple is just…” He rotated his hand in a circular motion as he tried to find the word he was looking for, “I don’t know. More you. I guess.” He turned from the mirror to face her and said, “Did you ever figure out what was wrong with your disguise?”

Tak responded, “No, I brought it home and did a full analysis and ran every troubleshoot I could think off. Part of the reason why it took me so long. Well, that and I was working on this.” She swung her backpack around from her and took out something. She extended her arm out with it to Dib, and in her open hand he saw what looked like a new phone. Dib took it from her and it activated on its own in his hand. When it turned on he saw Tak’s modified Irken insignia light up on the screen. “To replace your old one. I know you didn’t really lose it yet, and it’s probably just sitting at the office in School-” Tak fidgeted with her hair and spoke quickly as she gave her explanation. Then she calmed herself down and continued coolly, “But, considering what happened today I thought it was best that you and I had a better way to communicate in case something like this happened again…that and I know you wanted one.” She added in a tone that feigned to be unsentimental.

“Tak! This is really…” Dib started unsure what words to use to express his thanks. She rarely used her own insignia, as she was afraid someone would recognize it as Irken. So he took it as a sign it was unique in its abilities. He continued, “Just… thanks. It’s really cool.”

“You’re welcome. And you’re right if you think it’s more than just a phone that’s off the grid. It can do a whole lot more than anything on Earth, but I’ll leave what it can do up to you to figure out. Since I know you like that sort of thing.” She looked into her backpack and rummaged for something before she looked back up to Dib and said, “Did I get here first or did Zim-?”

Zim called to them from the living room and interrupted her as she spoke, “You okay back there Dib? Is the pizza guy still here?”

“-No. Of course he didn’t.” Tak said aggravated, lowly to herself.

Dib yelled back to the living room, “No it’s just Tak, she made it.”

“Oh. Okay.” Zim said from the living room and the two of them could sense some disappointment in his voice. They then heard Gir as he entered the living room and excitedly said, “Who wants breakfast!?”

“And he brought Gir?!” Tak almost yelled out loud in her shock, which surprised Dib. Mimi either didn’t notice or didn’t care, as she mewed in excitement and ran over to meet Gir in the living room. Tak called out shrilly to her to not interact with him to no avail. They heard Gir exclaim, “Kitty!” Then she groaned to herself as she went off into the side room opposite of the living room. Dib followed her and saw her lean against a window looking outward with an expression of disgruntlement. She said, “I thought you said you only invited Zim.”

“We did.” Dib started to say to her, “But him and Gir are kind of a package deal. You know, like you and Mimi?”

Tak brought her hand up to cover her eyes in exhaustion and said, “Tell me they’re at least wearing their disguises?”

“They are. But I don’t think they really need to. You’re all safe here, you could probably take off your disguise for the night if you want too.”

“I’ll keep it on.” Tak said flatly, “No offense, but considering your father’s the smartest member of your species I’d rather not have him see me without my disguise on. Even with his supposed respect for your privacy I can’t believe he doesn’t have any monitoring of his home.”

“He does. But only in and around the lab. The rest of the house is safe.”

“I’m sure it is.” She stopped leaning on the window, straited up, and exhaled deeply. “Even so. Considering the fiasco that was this afternoon I’d rather just keep it on.” She turned to Dib and said, “And please tell me you'll make sure they keep their disguises on too.”

“Yeah. Like I said, they already have their disguises on. And I don’t think they have a problem with them either.”

“Good.” Tak relaxed a bit and brought her hand to her face to brush her hair away. “The idiot’s finally smartening up.”

Dib exhaled in frustration as he brought his own hand up to his hair. He said, “Why do you treat him like this? He’s not an idiot you know.” Tak responded with a deadpan expression as she lowered her hand from her face to stare at Dib. “Okay he has plenty of lapses in judgement, I’ll give you that. But he’s hardly what I consider an idiot.”

“Sure. He’s brilliant.” Tak deadpan demeanor seeped into her tone as she spoke, and she looked away from him to the window as she crossed her arms over her chest.

As things were turning out Dib was worried that Gir’s worst case scenario was coming close to happening. He choose his words carefully before he spoke again, “He was a big help today at Skool.” Tak was unphased. “And he even offered to help you find Mimi when we didn’t know where she was.” Tak readjusted herself as she looked out the window. Finally she said,

“He can occasionally think of someone other than himself, but one good gesture hardly makes up for everything.”

“What does he have to make up for?” He reached out and touched her shoulder, but she shook him off and refused him as she stepped closer to the window.

“He’s a selfish, conceited, and annoying little brat.” She started to say, still looking away from him. “That, and combined with everything he’s done to ruin my life I think I’ve been exceptionally kind to him.”

“What, by insulting him and sometimes hurting him every chance you get?” Dib said angry and let his emotions show unguarded. Tak didn’t say anything to his question but he saw her posture visibly tighten and could make out a girted expression on her face in the faint reflection of the window. Dib brought his hand to his face as he looked away and tried to cool himself down. He didn’t want to start a fight with her and ruin the party. He also realized he hasn’t always been the best influence for her. Considering he’s ignored or even encouraged Tak’s pranks he knows he’s partially to blame for her actions. He began again calmer and said, “He’s not the same self-centered, annoying little green alien that came to this planet six years ago. He’s still pretty selfish and full of himself, but he’s getting better.” Tak was unmoved by what he said but he still continued, “And he is sorry. He’s told you multiple times now. The most recent was today actually.” Dib regretted his tone right after he finished. It wasn’t angry, but it certainly felt like he was accusing her. Tak’s posture seemed to loosen at his remark and she turned around to face him with an annoyed, mocking look on her face, and had one arm cradling the elbow of the other as she said,

“You know, one thing I could never get over about Earth is that you guys seem to think just saying ‘sorry’ is enough to make up for something. But I don’t think it could even be remotely close to makeup for what happened to me.” She ended her statement in anger.

“I don’t think saying ‘sorry’ is enough either, and I don’t think that’s all he’s done.” Dib began to say frustrated now, “He’s tried to make things better and he’s helped us out multiple times, again, he most recently helped you! Just…” Dib brought up his hands to his face to wipe it and tried to cool himself off before he continued, “Look, I know the four of us do hang out sometimes but when we do the two of you just kind of imagine the other doesn’t exist or worse. He’s doing a lot just by being here tonight, but he’s doing it because he likes me and Gaz, but so do you. Do you think maybe you could admit you two have something in common? Or at least tolerate him the same way he is you for us tonight?” Dib tried to end it there with Gir’s insight from earlier, and hoped it would put things into perspective for her. Instead, after he finished he was surprised to see an angry look wash over Tak as she brought up her hands and squeezed them in anger.

“You-Idiot! Don’t you think I realize this, and it’s the whole reason I agreed to this in the first place?”

“What?” Was all Dib could say in his confusion.

She went right up to his face and said still very angry, “I already know he likes you guys! I’m expecting him to behave because of it, if he didn’t I’d be furious with him!”

“Oh.” Was all Dib could say and he thought to himself, “Yeah idiot.” With that sudden outburst Tak seemed to cool off, or at least she tried to. She turned away from Dib and pulled at the back of her hair as she squinted in annoyance and pain. “Are your antennas hurting again?” He asked her concerned, she opened her eyes and stopped pulling at her hair and looked very self-conscious.

“They’re fine. Just sore.” She fixed her hair as she said this but would not look to Dib as she finished.

“Want to go upstairs and I’ll massage them for you?” He approached and reached out to her shoulder as he said this. She didn’t notice Dib, and was considering his offer but as she saw him she jumped back and said tensely while touching her hair,

“I said I’m fine. Can you stop doing this?”

“Doing what?” Dib said confused.

“This.” Tak gestured to all of him, “What you always do. You always try to be the ‘voice of reason’ or the mediator, but you’re not very good at it.”

“I don’t…” Dib was about to go on but as he thought about how he’s acted, particularly over the past few days, he realized he has definitely tried to be the mediator. “…Okay yes I do.” Tak didn’t say anything else but crossed her arms over her chest irritated, he continued “But I don’t really think that’s a bad thing, somebody has to.”

Tak unfolded her arms and brought them up at a loss for words. “No, you don’t, you don’t have to. Tonight would have been just fine if you hadn’t brought this up. Zim and I would have tolerated each other enough to be on the opposite ends of the room without making eye contact and then we would have all just gone to bed after tonight.”

“Yeah but-” Dib was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell as he started talking. Both him and Tak looked to the door the latter of which said,

“Who else did you invite?” She hissed as her eyes darted back to him.

“No one. That’s probably the pizza they order.”

Tak tensed up at Dib’s explanation and he could see her physically fight not to pull her hair, “Why did they order pizza? Are they trying to drive me insane?”

“Relax the pizza guy’s not going to notice anything.” Dib said trying to reassure her.

“I know that.” Tak said less stressed, “But it’s always the same weird one that likes to hang out as long as possible and is probably half brain dead.”

“Yeah, so we’ll just pay and shoo him off.” Dib went up to the door and opened it to the pizza guy.

He was tall but had horrible posture as he hunched over holding the pizzas in one arm. He had long greasy black hair and acne all over his face. His uniform was bright pink with a fat pig eating a pizza sewed onto his right chest and on his left side was an upside down name tag that read “CJ”. He let himself into the house past Dib and said, “I got a large cheese pizza, and a large half pepperoni, quarter anchovies, and quarter no cheese for a Mr.…Uh, I can I can never get this guy’s name right.” He said the last part to himself annoyed and read the name on the receipt phonetically, “In-va-der Zim?”

Tak jumped slightly at the pizza guy’s words but before she could say anything Dib went to him and said, “That’s us! He’s busy right now but we can pay you.”

The pizza guy looked up from the receipt, “Oh hey Dab.” He said with a smile, “How you doing man?”

“It’s Dib, and I’m fine uh…” Dib started to say dubiously.

“CJ. Did you forget my name man?” He said annoyed and crossed his free arm.

“No.” Dib lied, “Your name tag is upside down.”

CJ looked down to his name tag and saw that it was, “Oh, yeah it is.” He then tried to fix it and nearly dropped the pizzas doing so. Tak then came over and took them away from him. “Thanks,” He said uncaringly. She carried them off to a table in the side room as he continued, “It’s twenty six, sixty seven for the guy’s pizza. And is that really his name?” He asked regarding the name Zim used to order.

“Nope.” Said Tak flatly, “He’s just a child who likes to play pretend.”

“Oh…Really? What’s he pretending?”

Tak nearly slammed the pizzas on the table and said, “Dib, give the deliver drone his money so he can go.”

Dib reached for his pocket quickly but realized he didn’t have his wallet on him. He said he would be back as soon as he got some money.

“Don’t bother.” Tak said as she went over to her backpack on the ground and reached into it. She produced a wad of bills and presented a one hundred note to CJ and said, “This should cover it. You can go now.”

CJ looked at it and said slowly, “Uh…you’ll have to wait for me to get the change for this.”

“That’s not required, you may keep the rest.”

“Really?” CJ asked excitedly, “You like me that much?”

“No. Let me be perfectly clear.” Tak started to say slowly and deliberately, “I’m paying you one hundred dollars to fuck off. You should take it and leave before I remove you myself.” She then produced another one hundred note and gave it to him.

CJ accepted it but pondered over what she said with a quizzical look on his face and then said skeptically, “I don’t know how I should feel about this.”

“Decide later. Goodbye!” Tak said quickly as she turned him around and pushed him out of the doorway and slammed it shut behind him. She leaned on the door after it closed and let out a relieved sigh.

“Well that went better than expected.” Dib said, “I’d pay you back but I know you pretty much print money.”

“Your welcome.” Tak said as she brushed a hand through her hair while still leaning on the door. “Why did they order pizza? Didn’t Zim’s SIR unit say he made food or something?”

“Miscommunication. Gaz told Gir she wanted breakfast for dinner, and I guess Zim ordered pizza on the way here or something.”

“That sounds about right.” Tak said annoyed. She got off the door and went to her backpack and began rummaging through it.

Dib watched her and then went over to the side table where she left the pizzas to bring them to the rest of the party. As he did so he said, “And uh…Tak?”

“Please don’t start again.” She said flatly as she went through her backpack.

Dib grabbed the pizzas off the table and said, “I’m not, it’s just…Is everyone going to have a good time tonight?”

Tak stopped going through her backpack and turned around to look at him as she said, “I don’t know. I can’t speak for everyone but I actually wanted to be here. I find most of the party amicable so I just figured I’d have a good time if I just focused on them.” She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, “I assume you think the party’s already off to a bad start.” There wasn’t any unrest in the way she spoke or even in her posture, she was simply stating what she observed.

“No, at least I don’t think so.” He said this more to himself than to her, “Look, I’m sorry we had a fight, maybe putting you and Zim in the same house for the night wasn’t the best idea.” He could see Tak tense up as he continued, “I’m not saying one of you should leave but…I don’t know, maybe I was just dumb to think we could all get along for the night.”

Tak took a deep breath, and relaxed slightly as she said, “Look: the night hasn’t even started and Zim and I haven’t even seen or spoken to each other. He is…something.” She looked off to the living room where everyone else was as she said that word. “But I wouldn’t have agreed to come tonight if I couldn’t handle him.” There was a small pause before she reluctantly finished, “And you might be right when you say he isn’t the same annoying little alien from six years ago.”

“Dammit Gaz! Just grab onto me and let me fly your fat ass!” The two of them heard Zim yell out from the living room. After hearing it Tak said annoyed,

“Or maybe not.”

“You’re not the same either. You’ve both changed a lot. For the better I think.” He went next to her with the pizzas in hand and nudged her side with his playfully, “I know you have a lot to get over, but try to get along with him tonight, at least a little bit more than usual. Okay?”

Tak breathed deeply again and then said, “Whenever I have to be around him you know I tolerate him. That’s the best you can hope for out of me.” She bent down to her backpack and took something out of it. “But maybe tonight I can tolerate him a bit more than usual. Maybe anyway.” Out of her backpack she took the wig and contacts Zim gave to her earlier today and showed it to Dib who gave a smile as he said cheerfully,

“That will probably be a good way to start.” He thought to himself for a moment before he asked, “You didn’t do anything to them, did you?”

“Apart from clean them, no.” Tak said as she crossed her arms slightly insulted, “I’m trying to behave myself tonight, at least as long as he does anyway.”

“Well, I guess that’s as good as I can hope for.” Dib said with mock cheer and then made his way into the living room with Tak beside him. When he stepped into the living room he could see Gaz and Zim on the couch playing their game and two partially eaten plates of pancakes on the coffee table. He also spied Gir playing with Mimi on the ground with what he assumed was some mess of string. He lifted the boxes above himself and said to the room, “Tak’s here, and so is the pizza!”

“We heard you guys in the other room.” Gaz said dryly from the couch, she looked away from the game for a moment to the two of them and said, “Hey Tak.”

“Hello Gaz.” She said simply, “I have the sweater you lent me earlier.” She then began to remove it from her person revealing a dark purple tee shirt she had on underneath. “Where do you want me to put it?”

“Just leave it anywhere, I’ll put it back in my room later.”

Tak then laid it down carefully over the armchair by the couch. “I also have your ridiculous disguise from earlier today.” Tak said playfully before she threw the disguise at Zim. It hit him in the side of the head, and even though it did not hurt him, when Zim was hit he let out a resounding, “Ow!” as he rubbed the side of his head that was hit and looked to the two of them. “Oh don’t be such a smeet.” She said as she collapsed onto the armchair slouching. “And you can thank me later for disinfecting them.”

Zim placed down his controller to inspect his wigs and contacts, he felt something was off with the texture of the wig and brought it to his nose to smell it, after which he gaged and said, “Aww, Tak! What did you do to this?”

“Nothing.” Tak said innocently, “I just put them through a cleaning solution to try and get some of the grime off. You should thank me for taking the time to clean it.” She ended her statement with satisfaction in her voice.

Zim was unimpressed and brought the wig an arm’s length away and covered his nose in the pit of his elbow as he said, “Well whatever you put it in, it’s making me nauseous! If you were expecting me to put them on tonight you’re out of luck.”

“I wasn’t!” Tak began saying annoyed, “And if you know what’s good for you you’ll keep your real disguise on.”

“Hey….” Dib interrupted entreatingly, “I’m bringing the pizzas into the kitchen and helping myself to them if anyone wants to join me.”

“I’ll have some pizza. Gir, cover for me.” Zim said as he stood up from the couch and went over to Gir.

Gir was still on the floor with Mimi, who was on her back as he dangled a piece of string above her to swipe at, “But Kitty!” He implored looking to Zim.

“He doesn’t have to play for you. You’re Tails.” Gaz said.

“But what if you need to fly over something?” Zim asked.

“I won’t. The whole game’s meant to be played without that.”

Zim was satisfied enough with Gaz’s explanation or at least eager to join Dib in the kitchen. As he went away he called out, “Well just don’t do anything exciting without me, I don’t want to miss anything!”

“No promises.” Gaz said playfully in her dull tone which earned a small gruff from Zim who none the less went off with Dib into the kitchen without another word.

With Zim and Dib in the kitchen, Gaz and Tak were left with each other in the living room. Gaz was focused on her game and Tak didn’t feel any need to distract her from it, so she fixed herself slightly up in the chair and watched Mimi. Gir was kneeling on the ground above her and dangling a mess of string for her to swat at as she laid on her back. Both of them had happy faces as they were completely focused on their game, and neither one of them noticed Tak as she glared daggers at the two of them. She had given Mimi explicit instructions not to interact with Gir both in the past and now just a moment ago, so she was very annoyed that Mimi decided to disobey her orders. She used her communicator and said to Mimi, “What do you think you’re doing?” Her tone was icy and did not portray any other type of emotion besides her annoyance which she could not hide in her thoughts.

Tak was satisfied and surprised that Mimi payed attention to her and slowed in her swatting as she adjusted her head slightly to turn to face her. Mimi communicated to Tak, “I’m fulfilling my disguise Ma’am.”

Mimi gave her response with disinterest, and her tone angered Tak slightly. She then said to her somewhat venomous and still icy, “Really…? Because it looks like you’re playing with the enemy.”

Mimi stopped her swatting completely at Tak’s statement and brought her front legs down to her belly and said to her, “If he’s the enemy Ma’am, then why are we here with him and his superior?”

Tak didn’t say anything to her question but couldn’t help herself from glancing from her to Gaz for a brief moment as she continued to glare daggers at her. Mimi noticed her eye movement and looked to Gaz and then back to Tak as an exasperated expression washed across her face. It was still there even as Gir noticed she stopped playing, and playfully pushed the mass of string into her head as he entreated saying, “Kitty?” gleefully unaware of the conversation she was having with her superior. She was still glaring at Tak as she complied with Gir and resumed her swatting.

Tak broke the silence as they glared at each other and said, “I gave you a direct order not to interact with him.” Some feelings of disloyalty were present in her tone as she spoke to Mimi.

She responded plainly, “I’m not in danger. And we’re not bothering you Ma’am. If anything, I’m keeping him from bothering you by occupying his time.”

Tak relented with a condition and said still annoyed with her, “Just behave yourself.”

Mimi was satisfied with that response but before she resumed her playing with Gir she said back to her, “I’ll only follow your lead Ma’am.” The way she said it equated to, ‘I will if you do’ which Tak didn’t like, but she had enough talking with her.

As far as she could tell all Gir was doing with Mimi was playing with her, so she didn’t feel too strong of a need to separate them. She brought her attention away from them and focused on the television screen as Gaz marched her blue character across the screen and got lost in her thoughts. She still felt very negatively about Gir, not only because he was a creation of Zim’s and she found him irritating, but because his interactions with Mimi had been very hazardous in the past. Since the first incident six years ago when Gir was able to remote access and control Mimi, Tak felt she had never fully reverted back to her old self. Tak had been able to correct the problem and reinstate her autonomy and old programming but she felt something in Mimi was off, not to say she was exactly the same then as she is now. She operated smoothly and never disobeyed or performed detrimentally to their mission, but over time she found Mimi’s personality had developed increasingly into something she had unanticipated. The phrase, ‘gone native’ went through Tak’s mind, and were Mimi’s own words when she described the state Tak was in. She said it back to her as a joke the other night, but when she thought back on it she found the description fits Mimi perfectly. The original parts she used to create her where unique in that her “brain” was designed to observe, learn, and in a sense grow over time. Due to this any and all information she took in, whether it was combative, technical, or even cultural, was assimilated and compiled into her inner processor. The entire design purpose behind a SIR unit like Mimi was to create a robot that could, ‘go native’ so as to assist an Invader in blending in on an enemy planet. Hence the reason why Mimi perfectly mimicked the habits of a domestic house cat, and preferred them over acting as a robot. Tak thought perhaps that was the reason she found her parts discarded on Dirt. All modern SIR units used by Invaders today could collect and analyzed data, but they couldn’t understand it the same way she or Mimi could, so their programming remained static throughout their existence. More than likely Tak thought this was a conscious choice by their designers to avoid any complications a constantly changing AI could bring. Tak almost felt the same way, she appreciated having Mimi as a companion for as long as she has, but she also found that sometimes she could be a bit of a nuisance. If only because of her uncalled for opinions she continued to provide without being asked to. Oddly, she briefly thought there was some similarity between Gir and Mimi. If only because it seemed to her that Gir seemed to change over the years similar to her. She thought perhaps  Zim and herself had been rummaging through the same bunch of garbage when they made their SIR units, but she couldn’t even bare that similarity so instead she chalked it up to poor design choices and dumb luck of Zim on creating Gir.

In the middle of her thought she came back to reality at the sound of Gir squealing over something Mimi was doing. She turned quickly to face the two of them and saw Gir grab Mimi into a hug. She was about to say something but noticed Mimi didn’t look displeased, if anything she looked quite happy. She decided not to intervene since as far as she could see there was no danger to her, but she made a mental note to herself to analyze her when they returned home tomorrow night.

“How was your walk home earlier?” Gaz said to Tak suddenly, jumping her out of any other trail of thought she was in.

“Oh, thankfully nothing happened.” She started to say coolly, “But I’m also infuriated that nothing did.” She ended her statement gritting her teeth.

Gaz let out a small chuckle and said, “Didn’t I tell you everyone’s dumber than a sack of bricks?”

“You did, but this is just uncanny.” Tak said exasperated, “If I brought you or Dib anywhere in the Empire in an Irken costume twice as good as what I wore home, the two of us would be shot dead in seconds.”

“I doubt that.” Gaz said unimpressed.

“It’s a lot different in the Empire.” Tak retorted quickly, “Your planet doesn’t even believe in other planetary life, but we constantly have to be alert in case of infiltration.”

“Uh…maybe.” Gaz said still unconvinced. She hadn’t turned her head away from the game the whole time she spoke to Tak, and she was now focusing intently on beating a boss. Tak watched her as she played. The game didn’t interest her as much as the fighting games she’d gone against her in, if only because it seemed to lack depth compared to them, but she still found the motions of the main character mesmerizing. Tak thought the overall design of the game was lacking as she had difficulty decerning what some objects were supposed to be. She assumed the background of the level was meant to be water or a forcefield of some kind and the boss was some fat man riding a orb shaped hover craft. She watched Gaz hop the blue creature into the boss for a total of eight times all while avoiding shots from it. After she finished the level Gaz said, “So nothing happened at all?”

Tak brought one of her hands to her face again and rolled her eyes as she groaned, “Actually the most infuriating and insane thing of the day happened on my way back. Some weird-o, for some unbelievable reason, decided to cat-call me on my walk home.”

“That doesn’t sound crazy.” Gaz said disappointed, “That’s just whatever.”

“But I was green!” Tak said in disbelief of what she was telling her, “What-What on Irk kind of thing was he thinking?”

“Everyone’s dumb, but guys are dumber.” Gaz said to her plainly, “What did you do to him?” She asked, some excitement in her voice.

Tak blew air and sighed, “Nothing. Normally I would have but with everything happening I just wanted to get home in one piece without any attention.”

“That’s far.” Gaz said understanding. “You still got plenty of test subjects back home anyway.”

“More than I know what to do with.” Tak said and chuckled softly to herself. She then remembered who was in the room with her and turned to see Mimi and Gir still playing. She said a bit quitter to Gaz, “Do you think he heard us?”

Gaz responded unconcerned, “I don’t think they’re paying attention to us, and he won’t say anything.”

“Of course.” Tak said with some concern in her voice and looked over to Mimi and Gir. She had forgotten they were in the room with them as she chatted with Gaz, but they seemed to be distracted with whatever game they were playing. For a moment she wondered if her mind wiping technology would work on Gir, and whether she would be able to do so to him discreetly. She’s been experimenting on humans since she arrived on the planet, even after she became friends with Dib and Gaz. Her first experiment was with the owner of the Deelishus Weenie corporation as her surrogate father, but following ‘developments’ as Tak put it, she began other more involved experiments of human biology. Once Dib found out about her experiments, as well as her most recent project, he had her release all of the livings ones and the ones who could be repaired. She did release all her test subjects, with the exception of her father which she was able to convince Dib was necessary for her survival on the planet. But she still had further experiments to run, so not too long after releasing them she began collecting again. To her credit she only collected criminals and other undesirables afterwards and employed a catch and release policy for some of them in hopes that Dib would accept her interests. But she never told him she was still experimenting on humans. She figured what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, and what she was doing was done in hopes of better understanding herself, so Tak thought he would have to understand her if he wanted to be a good boyfriend.

“Oh, and speaking of freak experiments.” Gaz started to say absentmindedly in between her game, “Did you fix your phone? You know, since Keef probably has Dib’s?”

“Already taken care of.” Tak said assuredly, “And I gave Dib a new phone as a precaution.”

“You bought him one on your way here?” Gaz asked confused.

“No. I made him one.” She said proudly. Tak was well aware of her technological accomplishments, and wanted to be sure Gaz knew her work when she saw it.

“Cool, could you make me one?” Gaz said absentmindedly.

Tak didn’t respond immediately, as the request itself caught her off guard slightly. She remembered that she initially rejected Dib’s request to make him a phone when she first joined their friend group. That seemed ages ago to her, and she assumed it did to them as well. Even so, she had a small fear that Dib would find some grievances with her if she agreed to make one for Gaz so easily. She decided that it would be unfair to make one for Dib and not Gaz, so somewhat reluctantly she replied with, “I - Sure.”

“Sweet.” Gaz said pleased, leaving Tak to dwell on her thoughts. She was jostled from them by the sound of Zim and Dib laughing in the kitchen as she looked off into that direction. “Sounds like the idiots are having fun.” Gaz said to herself.

Tak didn’t say anything at first and only fixed herself in her chair to watch the television and sighed lightly before saying, “Yeah.”

Gaz looked to her from the corner of her eye and said, “Do you want to play?”

Tak came to attention at her question and said, “I’ve never played this game before, so it probably won’t be very exciting to watch.”

“Didn’t you wipe the floor at the arcade the other day on games you never played?” Gaz said opening an eye wide to her.

           “Dib told you about that?” Tak asked somewhat surprised that Gaz knew about the particulars of her date.

Gaz replied simply, “Yeah.”

           Tak was about to ask, ‘how much did he tell you?’ But thought better not to ask and said with a small amount of annoyance she couldn’t hide, “Well all those games were dumb.”

“Well this isn’t dumb, so play with me.”

“This game doesn’t look too interesting to me, and I don’t really want to play as the little orange thing following you around.” Tak said with her arms crossed.

“Play as Sonic then, and I’ll be Tails.”

She was about to say that she didn’t want to play as the blue thing either when she heard a call from Zim in the kitchen. “Gir your stuff is ready!” He yelled to the living room, and then repeated his name after he didn’t hear a response. Gir replied that he was busy. Tak let out an annoyed pout and was about to get up and yell back but Gaz stopped her and said,

“Don’t worry about it. They’re dumb but they can handle it. You playing or what?” Tak was running out of excuses, it was clear to her that Gaz wanted to play the game with her but she still wasn’t sold on it. She had been mesmerized by the way Gaz moved her character quickly across the screen, even in the slower pace of the water level she was finishing up. She watched her beat the boss in style after which the title “Hydro City Zone Act 2” lit up on the screen. Gaz paused the game and handed her controller towards her and said, “Well? Are you at least going to try it?”

Somewhat begrudgingly, Tak gave in and said, “Just to humor you. Sure I’ll try it, don’t expect me to like it.” She moved on to the couch next to Gaz and setup with their respective controllers. She un-paused the game and said, “So what’s the purpose of this game?”

“You gotta go fast.” Gaz said as a small smirk grew across her face.

“I can see that.” Tak said unimpressed. After the game was un-paused she saw the characters consumed in a vortex as they went behind geometry and appeared on a lower level. “Any other goal? I see this game has rudimentary combat with the bosses you fought. Does it get anything like that fighting game?”

“Tekken? No, you just hop on enemies until they die like Super Mario.” Gaz said as she demonstrated with her own character in the game.

“Which one is that? Not the one with the yellow disk eating ghosts or something?”

“Pacman? No, it’s the one with the Italian guy and giant mushrooms.”

“Ugh!” Tak let out a disgruntled moan as she continued, “What is with all these Earth games and their ridiculous settings?”

“Less talk more speed.” Gaz said as she nudged Tak back to the game.

Tak obeyed and began her process of analysis of the game as she played. She noted it had fairly limited physics based upon the speed and momentum of her character, that most enemies could damage her simply by touch, and that to prevent death she had to carry at least one golden ring. “Very simple in concept.” Tak thought to herself, “Not as graceful as Gaz yet, but in no time at all I should be able to master this little game.” With that thought in mind she brought all of her focus onto the game and began her conquest of it, as she knew any true Invader would achieve.

______________________________________________________________

Dib and Zim made their way into the kitchen. There was still a faint haze of smoke from Gir’s cooking that permeated the air. None of the dishes had been cleaned but there was still a tower of suds in the sink from when Gir was playing in it. The stove looked dirtier than Dib would have expected from bacon and pancakes, with grease and batter all over it in places where it shouldn’t be, but he assumed that was normal for Gir. Along with that it seemed he had helped himself to the rest of the kitchen. Cabinets where open with pots and pans everywhere; milk, eggs, and cookie mix were open out on the table, there was something cooking in the oven (he hoped cookies), and the fridge was left open.

As they entered and saw the state it was in Zim said apologetically, “Uh…Sorry about Gir wreaking your kitchen. I usually let him do whatever he wants at ours but I should probably tell him to be more considerate at your house. You have a cleaning robot right?” He ended looking to Dib.

“No, not really.” Dib started to say as he made an open spot on the table for the pizzas. “Since the whole Foodio-self-destruct thing dad’s kind of been turned off from domestic robots.”

“Oh yeah, ‘Destructio’” Zim said reminiscing to himself, “Your dad hasn’t made any robots since then?”

“You almost had it blow up our whole family Zim.” Dib said in a huffy as he went to the fridge door to close it, “That, and he still can’t get over the poached eggs it used to make.”

Zim sat down at the table and said callously, “Well sorry. It was only a few years ago.” He opened the box of cheese pizza and said, “I hope they didn’t ruin my order. I swear every time I think about how they could mess it up they end up doing that exact thing. They must have mind reading technology or something.” He then took out a slice and began eating, while doing so he said, “I’ll be sure to have Gir clean up everything before we leave.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dib said as he sat down to join Zim. He took a slice of the cheese as well and said, “The stove should be able to clean itself. It’s just the dishes that need cleaning really.”

“Well I’ll have him clean it anyway. It’s good to keep him busy.” Zim placed his wig and contacts on the table between him and Dib while they were eating and said, “What do you think? Some skin burning chemicals or some stuff to make me itchy?”

“I don’t think Tak would sabotage your disguise while we’re all in the same house.” Dib said picking up both the lenses and wig. He worried Tak did do something to them, but he didn’t think they would notice immediately if Zim wore them, but he also didn’t share this with him. He felt the texture of the wig and even brought it to his face to smell it.

“So no sewage this time?” Zim asked slightly peeved.

“I told you, I didn’t know about it.” Dib asserted.

“But you assumed?”

“Yeah, I did.” He said flatly and went back to inspecting the disguise. The wig was ratty when he gave it to Tak and it still was, but any grime that it had before was gone. The only problem was that it smelled like she dipped it in a very harsh chemical solution. Besides that it looked fine. The contacts where noticeably cleaner now than they were when Zim gave them to her, but they seemed to have a slight gloss to them which he chalked up to them being cleaner than usual. He rubbed the wig over his hand, and while he did feel a slight irritation he chalked it up to the strength of the chemicals Tak used and not out of some malicious intent of hers. At any rate Tak didn’t expect Zim to wear it tonight so he would be fine without wearing it until later. “Your disguise is fine by the way. It smells like she put it through bleach or something but you should be fine. Maybe just rinse it before you decide to wear it out again.”

Dib slid the wig and contacts across the table to Zim who inspected it once more and said, “Maybe something ten times harsher than bleach. It smells like my skin would burn off if I wore it too long.”

“Well don’t. She’s not expecting you to, so just take it home and clean it yourself.”

Dib’s reasoning satisfied Zim enough, so he took the disguise in a pout. Dib saw him take the wig and contacts in hand and place it around his back where it disappeared into his invisible pak, the only flaw in his otherwise perfect disguise. “How’s the pizza?” He asked lightly after he put his disguise away.

“It’s okay. Bloaty’s is too greasy for me but it’s still pizza.”

As he said this Zim opened the other box of pizza and inspected it briefly as he said, “How much do I owe you for it?”

“You don’t. Tak paid for it.”

Zim slouched back in his chair and continued eating as he said, “So she doesn’t expect me to pay her back. Right?”

“I don’t see why we’d ever have to pay either of you back. Don’t you guys both print money?”

“Kind of.” Zim said as he finished his slice of pizza without the crust and picked another out of the box. “I don’t know what Tak does but I sometimes make Earth money. The Earth authorities sometimes get pissy if I make enough to be noticed, but if I need a lot I just sell some off my stuff on the internet.”

“You sell alien technology on the internet?” Dib said in a slight shock, and then wondered why he was surprised.

“I mean unless you want to buy some. I never post it as alien tech. Just stuff like ‘foreign blender’ or ‘butt scratcher’ or something. That usually sells.”

“I bet they do.” Dib said slightly miffed. He was reminded of the countless times he posted proof of aliens on the web, only for it to go unnoticed or ignored. “If Tak finds out about it you’re dead though.”

“I think we’re both dead once she finds out about what we do on Guy’s Night.” Zim said as the cheese to his pizza fell off, which he caught with his tongue and slurped up.

Dib brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and said embarrassed, “Please stop calling it ‘Guy’s Night.’”

Zim smiled wryly and said smugly, “Why not? Would you prefer it if I wore my feminine disguise more often?” He said as he fluttered his eyelashes.

“No.” Dib almost choked on his pizza as he laughed lightly. “Your wigs are great, but your makeup skills could use some work.”

Zim wasn’t satisfied enough with Dib’s reaction, so he said “I could dress up like Tak again if you want.”

“Hell no!” He said entirely at end with Zim as he let out a loud laugh. He brought his hand to his face, “Why did I bring you there?”

“Because it was hilarious! Wasn’t it hilarious” Zim said laughing to himself.

“Yeah it was.” Dib said unable to keep himself from chuckling, “But I’m pretty sure there were Swollen Eye Balls at the convention. And they’re…smarter, you know?”

“Not really. And besides” Zim started to say flamboyantly, “All my disguises are flawless.”

“Yeah well never dress up like Tak again. After today I’m worried someone there would have actually thought it was her and not someone dressed in a shitty costume.”

“That’s okay I’m still trying to perfect my Gaz disguise. I just can’t manage to capture the glare. Hhmp.” Zim closed his eyes and mimicked Gaz’s scowl as he ended.

Dib laughed at his impersonation of Gaz and said, “I don’t know who I’d rather have angry at us. Tak or Gaz?”

“Gaz probably.” Zim said almost instantly, “She doesn’t have death beams like Tak does.”

“That doesn’t stop her.” Dib said proudly. Years ago he would have been hesitant to admit the capabilities Gaz held, which at many times seemed to surpass his own abilities. Recently he’s come to terms with that fact, and appreciated her more as a result, though he still wished he could convince her to take an interest in his hobbies.

“Yeah, it doesn’t.” Zim said almost to himself as he also reminisced on Gaz’s past accomplishments. “Guess that’s why we all became friends in the first place. You guys really are exceptional humans.”

“I don’t really think so. Or at least that’s not all of it. You and Tak are pretty exceptional Irkens. Least out of all the Irkens I’ve ever meet.”

“Yeah…” Zim trailed off as his gaze left Dib and then ended somewhat arrogantly, “I am pretty amazing compared to most.” Dib was about to say something in response to Zim and his typical egotistical response, not to say he was upset by it. Over the years of their friendship he’s found his bombastic personality to be a charming quality of his, but he always liked to take him down a peg when he could. Before he could say anything, he was interrupted by the sound of the oven’s timer going off. After which, Zim yelled out to the living room, “Gir your stuff is ready!” He yelled out Gir’s name a second time after he failed to hear a response.

“I’m busy!” Gir yelled back to the kitchen in sing-song.

Zim was about to yell back at him, but Dib interrupted him as he yelled and said the two of them could take care of it themselves. They made their way to the oven and Dib opened the door while Zim crouched next to him, and inside was a full tray of cookies. It was also splattered with what they assumed to be batter all along the inside, and it smelled like it was starting to burn. “They look done enough.” Dib said, “And we should probably turn off the oven before whatever’s on it burns any worse. We just need some oven mitts.”

“Don’t worry, I got it.” Zim said as he gently pushed Dib out of the way. He backed up a bit and saw two of Zim’s pak legs extrude from his back, breaking his disguise again, and reach into the oven to pull out the tray and place it on top of the oven. “There we go.” Zim said happily as he retracted his pak legs and brushed off his hands, “I’ll have Gir clean everything else some time tonight or tomorrow before we leave.”

“Sure, but the oven should be able to clean itself.” Dib said as he went to activate the oven’s self-cleaning function and was surprised when it failed to work. He opened the oven and tried to activate it again before he called out annoyed, “Gir, what did you break?”

“Nothing!” Gir called out cheerily from the living room.

“Gir, get in here now!” Zim yelled to him, stating it as a command. The two of them heard a shuffle from the living room as Gir skipped into the kitchen and said hello to them.

“Did you do anything to the oven?” Dib asked concerned.

“Besides use it, no.” Gir said uncaringly

“Well whatever you did broke it.” Zim said disappointed with his arms folded to him.

Gir was surprised by Zim’s claim and walked over to the oven and said, “It was working fine a minute ago.” He turned the oven to its max setting and stuck his hand inside of it to feel the heat. He brought out his hand as it glowed with heat and said satisfied, “Yeah it’s still working.”

“No, not the heating part. The cleaning part.” Dib said worried as he shut off the oven and closed the door.

“Oh.” Gir said blankly as he stared for a moment at Dib, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Zim asked skeptically and Gir replied with affirmation. After which he continued, “I find it hard to believe that it just stopped working suddenly all on its own. Especially since you were the last one to use it.”

“Uh…” Gir trailed off as he rubbed the side of his arm and looked away at the ceiling. Dib was unsure of the exact reason for his reaction, he thought it was possible Gir was just afraid of the bad situation the oven being broken put him in. He wanted to subdue Zim from him so he said,

“It’s probably not him. Our stuff breaks all the time, even our dishwasher broke last week and we’re still trying to get it fixed.”

“Well whatever, I still want you to clean up this mess you made.”

“But the party’s just started.” Gir pleaded as he grabbed onto Zim who was unphased by his begging, “I’m still playing with Kitty. Please!” Gir wailed as he clung onto Zim, who was unphased as he crossed his arms disappointed with him.

“Let him go play with Kitty. Mimi – I mean Mimi.” Dib said as he corrected himself, “So long as he cleans up before you guys leave I’m okay with it.”

Zim let out an annoyed grunt before he relented and said, “I want you to clean this up tonight while we’re sleeping. We need a clean kitchen tomorrow for us at breakfast. That’s an order.”

“Yes Sir!” Gir said as his voice and demeanor morphed into duty mode, but as quickly as it came it faded away and they saw him hop away back to the living room, joyful and relieved to go back to his games.

Neither of them spoke for a moment as they watched him skip into the living room. A moment after he was out of sight Zim went back to the table and said disgruntled, “You were too easy on him.”

“You’re one to talk.” Dib jabbed at him as he went back to the table with him, “When have you ever not given into his begging?”

“I’ve been trying not to.” Zim defended quickly as grabbed another slice from the box, “You at least have to be hard on him when does something wrong. I don’t really like seeing him that way but it’s the only way he learns.”

“You sound like a parent when you talk about it like that.” Dib said absent mindedly as he helped himself to more pizza.

His comment gave Zim a moment of pause between his chewing before he replied, “I wouldn’t call our relationship a ‘parental’ one.” He said with a full mouth and then finished before he continued, “I’ve paid attention to human parents and their kids, apart from you guys and your dad. I don’t coddle Gir as much as they would, I think anyway. If I had to compare us to a human relationship for me and him I’d say friends but closer, maybe brothers?” Zim ended in a question. It was clear to Dib that’s he’s thought about this before, but he was still very unsure what they were exactly to each other. “We’re definitely not just coworkers, even if that’s what we were supposed to be.”

“But you’re still his superior? I mean military style, which I guess is how Irken society works.”

“Yeah that’s close enough.” Zim said absent mindedly, “I mean I still have him do stuff for me, but a lot of the time we just hang out if it’s just us two. So we’re kind of closer to equals but not quite.”

“That’s why you gave him the human disguise and bigger body?”

“Not really. You know he wouldn’t stop bothering me about making him taller after it started happening to me. The ‘brother’ disguise just seemed like the easiest way to take him out. That, or I’d make him into a Great-Dane, which I was thinking about for a while.”

Dib chuckled at Zim’s reveal, “Could you imagine it? He’d be walking on two legs all the time, bright green, and probably just as talkative if not more. Oh, Tak would have gone crazy when she upgraded your disguises.”

“She still goes crazy. I don’t get why, especially after today.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry too much about. Gir definitely likes his disguise, and you don’t hate yours. Do you?”

Zim was quiet for a moment as he brought up his arms to turn over and examine them. Taking note of his disguised skin, its texture, and his five fingers which sometimes made him forget he only had three. “It’s okay.” He finally said after his inspection. “You know we’ve been dealing with it since she joined our friend group, and I still like to wear my old one out every now and again. But being able to walk into Skool or down the street with Gir and not get weird looks everywhere I go…It’s pretty good. Not going to lie.”

They were both quiet for a moment after he finished, and Dib was nodding in quiet satisfaction. “Yeah, you two could get along if you really wanted to.”

Zim let out a huff of air as he looked off to the ceiling, “Don’t expect a miracle.” He said annoyed, “But if you want me to give her a peace offering tell her the pizza without cheese is for her. It’s supposed to be anyway. Since she has a problem with Earth cheese for some reason.”

“She likes cheese, she’s just kind of picky.” Dib said. He’s had some success with introducing her to Earth cuisine, but he wasn’t sure if her body had a sensitive reaction to some of the food here or if it was more of a mental thing. She’s been trying more Earth food lately, but it still had to be heavily processed, and even if it was it could still cause her problems like the nacho cheese the other night at the arcade. “But that’s really cool you did that for her. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.” Zim didn’t say anything but looked to him with an exhausted and skeptical expression. “She will.” Dib assured him, “She might not say it aloud or maybe even admit it to herself but she does. She likes when people think of her. We all do.”

“Yeah well…” Zim started but paused before he continued, “Don’t expect us interacting much tonight, if at all. At least if we don’t want a problem.”

“That’s fine. Tak wants the same thing.” Dib said but was worried for a moment that what he said may have insulted Zim a bit. He showed no signs of being upset so he continued, “Want to head back to the living room and see what everyone else is doing.”

“Sure. I don’t think you guys want to watch me and Gaz play Sonic, but I could go for a movie.”

The two of them made their way to the living room. Mimi was still playing with Gir, who was now cuddling and petting her where they sat. Then they were surprised to see Tak and Gaz sitting on the couch playing a video game together, and as they entered they were greeted by a frustrated grunt from Tak. After her grunt she turned to Gaz and said annoyed, “I thought you said the goal of this game is to obtain speed?”

“It is.” She said back smirking to her.

“Then why on Irk would they punish me for it?” Tak said brushing a hand through her hair as she gestured to the television. Dib went up to the back end of the couch and leaned on it while the two of them were talking. He asked them what happened, then Tak replied, “I just finished killing the boss, and I was running down this hill until I fell into this pit with jump pads and each side, so I used the momentum I got from them and jumped out. And immediately after doing that I run straight into this giant swinging ball with spikes! And I couldn’t react to it, or the controller couldn’t read my inputs in time, so I just ended up eating it!” She brushed her hand through her hair again still upset at what happened and said, “What is the point of this design?”

“It’s to keep you own your toes.” Gaz said teasingly to her. The game was paused now and she reclined back on the couch stretching.

“But even from an objective standpoint, there was no way I could have reacted to it in time unless I knew it was going to happen. The only point this is trying to say is preparatory memorization of an area before exploring is key.” She stated coldly and crossed her arms after she finished.

“There isn’t supposed to be a point. It’s a game.” Gaz replied to her. She had no further response and was silent for a moment until Zim chimed in,

“If it makes you feel better Sonic One has a worse trap. You just run down this hallway into a wall of spikes. I think I moaned about it for half hour when it happened. And I think it was on level with a similar name. Marble zone right?” Tak stared at the television the whole time with her arms crossed as he spoke. His last comment was to Gaz, but before she could have given a response Tak replied,

“It doesn’t matter.” She said as she raised her arms up, “It’s all stupid anyway.”

“Well if you’re all set, I think we can do something else.” Gaz as she started to grab up the controllers.

Tak snatched her own controller out of her lap away from Gaz and said tensely, “No. I’m not done.”

“What happened to us playing Sonic?” Zim said somewhat peeved raising an eyebrow to Gaz.

“You were taking too long in the kitchen. But honestly right now I could just go for watching a movie or something.”

“So we’re just done playing then?” Tak asked somewhat confused.

“I’m down for anything.” Dib said not reading Tak’s confusion as he left the back end of the couch and went over to the armchair. “What movies did you guys bring?”

“Nothing too crazy.” Zim started to say as he went to collect the plastic bag he brought the movies in, “Scary Movie, Spirited Away, Aliens, Star Wars. What are you guys feeling?”

“I haven’t seen Spirited Away in a while, I could go for that.” Gaz said.

“What’s that movie about?” Tak asked interested. She hadn’t seen too much Earth media besides what Gaz and Dib showed her. She found most of what they showed her to be unappealing, with her and Gaz’s taste having a bit more overlap than Dib’s. She knew part of the point of showing up tonight was to watch more Earth media, but besides Star Wars (a movie she found both boring and unrealistic) she was unfamiliar with the other titles.

“It’s good. You’ll like it.” Was all Dib said to her, which didn’t win her over but she felt better about her chances of liking it knowing that both Gaz and Dib liked it.

“That works for me. So are we watching it?” Zim asked, which caused Dib and Gaz to look to Tak, and at feeling the slight pressure from them she gave in. She sighed and said,

“Yeah, let’s watch it.”

“Nice.” Said Zim as he jumped onto the couch next to Gaz, opposite from Tak. This caused Gaz to be pushed to the side into her, which took up more of the couch. Tak was slightly annoyed by the decrease in room and noted Dib had the entire armchair all to himself, which she thought was really her chair as she claimed it when she arrived here first. She considered moving from the couching and sitting on top of Dib on the armchair, but she found she wasn’t brave or bold enough to act on her feelings in that way.

The party went smoothly for the rest of the night after they agreed to watch the movie. Tak found it interesting to say the least, it was her first time seeing it. At first she found the story and the main character annoying, unbelievable, and too fantastical for her taste, but by the end of the movie she wished it could have been longer. Zim provided his commentary throughout it, as per usual with any piece of media he took part in. Tak made her best effort to ignore him at first, but by the end of the movie when she was engrossed in it as she hugged a pillow and was actively shushing him. The rest of the night continued in similar fashion, as they all consumed movies and shows while talking with one another. Tak had even tried one of Gir’s cookies, which she was pleased to find (but also loathed to admit) was actually quite delicious. She was able to enjoy the company of Dib and Gaz, and ignore Zim and Gir, the latter of which having been of no concern or bother to her at all. So she found it somewhat acceptable that Mimi had occupied his attention, but she was still upset she disobeyed her orders. As the night went on Dib, Gaz, and even Zim had changed into their pajamas, so towards the latter half of the night Tak wanted to change into hers as well. She excused herself from the party and went to Gaz’s room to change, and brought Gaz’s hoodie for her as a favor.

She grabbed her backpack from the front door and made her way up the stairs of the Membrane’s house. She heard the mixed noise of the living room from the movie and everyone’s commentary on it as she made her way up. She’d been in their house multiple times now, both as an infiltrating enemy, which seemed so long ago to her, and now more recently as a visiting friend. The house itself was beginning to gain some sense of familiarity for her because of this, but she still found herself taking in the finer details of it from time to time. She found the primitivity of it rather quaint, yet she told herself she could never live like this. She’s use to her lab, with her experiments, her new ship which she flew out every now and again, and above her main base the expansive human mansion, empty save for robot servants and all the comforts Earth could provide. While she thought about her nearly empty home she examined the family photos littered across the wall of the stairs, as she was habit to do. Even though she found the photographs quaint she always wondered why their father, The Professor Membrane, would keep their home so relatively primitive. She thought something even as simple as a screen would be more efficient for displaying all their images, rather than still photos. She knew his underground lab was much more advanced than their above house, nowhere near as advanced as her own base, or maybe even Zim’s, but she thought it would be almost impossible to tell if she didn’t already know. “Maybe he’s just used to the way he used to live.” Tak thought to herself as she spied what looked to be a very old photo of who she assumed to be a young Professor Membrane. He was small but still wearing a lab coat with goggles, conflicting with the rural farm area in the background. She looked further up the wall and spied a more recent photo of the three Membranes together, posing for a family photo. Gaz looked to be much happier than she normally looks, same as Dib, while The Professor held the two of them in a hug on either side of him. “I’m sure he’s a good father.” Tak thought, “Even with all their slight misgivings they have with him.” She was distracted from her thoughts as she caught Mimi following her up the stairs from the corner of her eye. She was slightly surprised, since she had been spending nearly the entire night with Gir even at her initial forbidding. She was about to say something to her about her change in behavior, but thought there was no point to it. She continued up the stairs towards Gaz’s room without addressing her, and Mimi followed her in tow without a word.

She opened the door to Gaz’s room and saw Mimi scoot under her legs into it, then she hopped unto Gaz’s bed and sat down as she began grooming herself. Without speaking Tak let herself into the room, turned on a light switch, and closed the door behind her lethargically. Tak had been in Gaz’s room multiple times now and thought it wasn’t typically what a human girl’s room would look like, if what she had seen in Earth media was anything to go by. There were no bright colors, no posters of movie or rock stars on the wall, and it didn’t reek of perfume. Her bed was against a wall on one side of the room, on it was a plain blanket burgundy in color, and on the floor were two sleeping bags she assumed her and Gaz would be using tonight. The room itself had very dark colors, which was only exacerbated by the fact that the light in her room needed a bulb changed. The only thing on the wall was a photo of her family above her bed and a few posters of video games Gaz enjoyed. She saw a few other clothes littered on the ground by her closet, so she decided to add to the pile and throw Gaz’s Game station hoodie there. As she did she looked at her desk where she kept her video game equipment and spied a half-eaten sandwich with a drink. Every time Tak went into her room she was reminded how atypical Gaz was compared to other females of her species, and was delighted every time she was as it made her own isolation feel lessened.

She threw her backpack next to the desk and stood in front of the mirror on the closet door. Then she began changing into her pajamas she brought with her. She didn’t get much further than removing her t-shirt, after which she stood in front of the mirror and examined her disguised body. She made her human disguise as convincing as possible, but she also tried to create a human body that was similar in proportions to her Irken form, if only because she wanted to feel comfortable in her disguise. Her body had none of the curves a typical human female would have, because of this she had even been mocked by some of the more preppy school girls for being ‘flat’ as they called her. She considered altering her disguise to give her more pronounced curves that the other human females had. Both to potentially improve the validity of her disguise and because she thought perhaps Dib would prefer it, though she was very ashamed to admit it. She had even brought up the idea to Dib of potentially updating her disguise, but he told her that he liked the way her disguise looked, which did help to alleviate some reservations she had about it. Regardless, she still found herself looking at her half-naked torso in the mirror with some disfavor. She passed her hand over her body and sighed to herself as she looked in the mirror. As she did she saw in the background that Mimi had stopped grooming herself and was now staring at her from the bed.

Tak turned around, feeling oddly violated and said to her irritated, “Would you stop staring at me!?” She threw her shirt at Mimi in retaliation, which she was able to avoid. Tak then knelt down to her backpack and rummaged through it for her pajamas as she said still annoyed, “What on Irk are you doing that for anyway?”

Mimi didn’t respond immediately, as she seemed to be deciding what to say. Mimi then communicated to Tak in telepathy in a tone that feigned innocence, “Ma’am, Why do you wear human clothes on top of your disguise?”

Tak was taken slightly aback by her question, not so much at the question itself but at the fact that Mimi choose now to ask it. She didn’t wear human clothes all the time but she’s been doing it off and on over the past few months. She decided to do it one day on a whim after seeing clothes in a store that captured her interest, but instead of merely altering her disguise to match it she went in and bought the outfit. Mimi didn’t comment on the act immediately when it happened but she later gave a brief remark on her ‘going native’ after she was wearing them, which Tak laughed off at the time. She wasn’t entirely sure why she decided to wear human clothes with her disguise. Part of it was simply an impulsive decision, and part of it was the fact that she knew Zim’s been doing it for years, which put the idea into her head, but she would hate to admit that. She stopped for a moment in rummaging through her backpack to give her response and said, “It’s…to make my disguise more convincing.” She lied through her teeth, but she didn’t even know what the full truth was.

Mimi merely nodded her head slowly in agreement but said afterwards in the same tone as before, “Is that the reason why you’ve rendered human genitals and other body parts on your disguise as well?”

“Yes.” Was all Tak said in response. She was close to ignoring her as she brought out her pajama shirt and held it up to look at. It was a light gray t-shirt with the bottom cut short, and it would expose the naval of her disguise once it was on.

As she was dressing Mimi said, “May I ask what the point of doing that was Ma’am? Considering no one will ever see that?” The innocent tone she had was gone now, and she was now communicating in one that was clearly aggravated.

Tak pulled her shirt over her head and said with growing annoyance, “I don’t know. Isn’t that the point of all the human experiments we’ve been doing? To better understand their biology?” She ended spreading her arms out in question as she stood up.

“I thought our experiments were for something else Ma’am.” Mimi said matter-of-factly.

“They were, and still are.” Tak responded plainly and began going through her backpack again. The human experiments she’s been completing have become two-fold, but their primary goal still remained the same. It has always been to better understand human biology, but the main purpose behind it was to understand what has happened to her body, and if the planet or its residents could supply an answer. Relatively soon after arriving on this planet Tak began growing taller, but that was the tamest of things to happen. The chemical composition of her entire body has changed and developed into new ways that amazed and horrified her, mostly horrified. She found some similarity in the change that humans undergo when they mature and originally thought of ways to revert or at least stall her changes by experimenting on humans. The initial desire to revert the changes has mostly left her, but she still experiments in hopes of understanding them so that she won’t be completely caught off guard. Similarly, just as she wanted the silhouette of her human disguise to match her Irken form, she also found it fitting to match the intricacies of her disguise to her own body, to the best of her knowledge. She of course did not share this information with Mimi. Tak finished going through her backpack and found the bottoms to her pajamas, a pair of purple short-shorts with an elastic band.

She began removing her jeans to change into them as Mimi laid on the bed and said to her with some concern, “We haven’t made much progress on our original goal Ma’am.”

Tak wasn’t paying too much attention to her as she changed and said absent mindedly to her, “Well, that’s kind of taken a back seat now. If you haven’t noticed.”

Mimi didn’t say anything else to her after she replied. She merely laid on the bed and watched her superior change. She took note of her thin legs and feet that were now barefoot, and studied the plain black underwear she was wearing as she slipped on her pajamas. Mimi rolled on the bed for a moment agonizing over something until she sat up slightly and said accusingly to Tak, “Why are you pretending so hard to be human?”

Tak stopped changing for a moment in shock as she registered what her SIR unit said to her. She had already finished changing but she left her hands by her hips after she put on her bottoms. She turned around and said to Mimi, “I’m not pretending to be anything. It’s a disguise.” She emphasized the word as she gestured to herself while she spoke.

Mimi replied exasperated as she rolled on the bed, “A disguise that’s clearly more work than necessary. As we saw today all that’s needed is a wig and some contacts to pass for human.”

“Oh I’m sorry.” Tak said insulted, “Should I deactivate your disguise and just have you walk around in a rabbit suit all day? Like you said my disguises are more work than their worth.” Tak folded her arms over her chest and turned away from Mimi as she finished.

“Your disguises are wonderful, same as everything you do Ma’am.” Mimi said apologetically sitting up on the bed. “It’s just that…” Mimi started, trying to find the right words to use.

“I’m going native?” Tak finished for her turning around with a raised eyebrow.

“No.” Mimi started, “You’re deluding yourself Ma’am.”

Tak entire body tensed up at Mimi’s accusation, “I am not deluding myself.” She began to say enraged. She brought he hands to her hair and swept it back violently. As she finished she left her hands at the end of her hair where her antennas would be and pulled them. She hurt herself by doing so but it’s easier for her to focus on the pain than on how she felt. “Look.” She began again, “I know we’re a long ways from Irk and being the Invader we deserve to be, but we can’t do anything about it.” She picked up her clothes and violently stuffed them into her bag as she spoke, “The only thing we can do now is accept what happened and live our life in peace on this miserable planet.”

“Well you haven’t always been fighting back as hard as you could be.” Mimi communicated to her, it sounded like something she meant to think to herself. Even if it wasn’t she clearly regretted what she said when Tak turned around and glared holes into her.

Mimi shrank down in fear on the bed as Tak said mockingly, “Really? Cause I can recall you saying plenty of times, ‘you need to be more cautious Ma’am’ or ‘You’re taking these experiments too quickly,’ and ‘you’re only hurting yourself Ma’am.’ Why it seems to me that whether I’m just trying to live my life in peace or mutilating myself to try to resemble something close to what I was before all this you can’t help but find some fault in whatever it is I’m doing!”  Tak stood up and walked over to the bed where Mimi laid down. She looked small, afraid, and very sorry. None of these things instilled any emotion in Tak as she picked up her shirt she threw at Mimi earlier. As she did and stuffed it into the bag she said still mockingly to Mimi, “I know what this is about by the way.” Mimi didn’t say anything but looked up at her from the bed confused. “You’re upset that I didn’t give you my permission to play with the defective little SIR unit.” Mimi’s ears pricked up at that and her expression changed to indignation, but she didn’t speak and let Tak finish. “Even though you disobeyed my orders and played with it anyway.” She picked up her shirt and violently stuffed it into her bag as she said, “That’s why you’re up here, being all pissy with me on changes you’ve embraced harder than I have. Ever thought about how hard you pretend to be a cat?” Tak ended her statement in harsh accusation as she glared at her SIR unit.

Mimi expression changed to one calm and obedient. She said to Tak, “I’m only following my programming Ma’am. What protocol would you prefer me to follow?”

Tak didn’t say anything for a moment and threw her bag to the side of the bed by her boots and then said sternly, “You are going to remain quiet, for the rest of the night, and for as long as we’re here.” She began walking towards the door and added before she opened it, “You are permitted to play with the defect.” She turned around and pointed at her as she added, “But any sign of interference from him on your design, whether purposeful or not, and I will take you back to the base and take you apart bit by bit and turn you into something less disrespectful and more obedient. Are we clear?”

Mimi didn’t respond via her communicator but nodded her head up and down in affirmation.

“Good.” Was all Tak said in response. She opened the door and said to her, “You are dismissed.” Mimi complied as she jumped off the bed and walked out of the room past Tak and down the hall to downstairs. Tak slammed the door as she herself stepped out and heard something fall and break inside the room after she did. She cringed in worry as she heard it and turned back to open the room and see what it is she broke. She looked inside the room for anything out of order. All of her posters where still on the wall, the mirror was untouched, the glass on her desk was fine and so was her gaming equipment. “That’s a relief.” She thought to herself. She would make a new setup for Gaz a hundred times better than anything she has now but would hate to have the conversation that she was the one who broke it. Being satisfied and relieved that nothing inside the room was wrong to her knowledge she closed the door and looked around the hallway. Nothing was out of sorts. She leaned against the door to Gaz’s room, let out a sigh of relief and said, “Stupid door. Why does The Professor keep this place so primitive?” As she said this she looked down at herself and the outfit she wore. She picked at her shirt in her hand and groaned to herself, “What on Irk am I doing?” After she said this she looked up at the pictures on the wall of the Membranes. Various pictures of Dib, Gaz, and even their father in various places, all of them happy and enjoying whatever the occasion was that called for a photograph. “I’m here to enjoy myself and have fun.” Tak thought to herself as she admired them. She thought Dib and Gaz would be on her for being so bummed out about something somebody said to her, even if the one who said it to her was Mimi. She decided to push all those feelings away, she’s been looking forward to tonight for weeks. She was going to enjoy it.

She walked down the hallway and downstairs back to the living room where everyone still was. Zim and Gaz took up the space of the entire couch, and Dib was in the chair. The show they watched was just about over and they talked to one another while they ignored whatever was on the television. She spied Mimi and Gir playing on the ground, with less enthusiasm than before, but everyone was still enjoying themselves, so she decided she would too.

“What’d I miss?” Tak said as she went to the back of the chair Dib was in.

“That took a bit longer than expected. Everything good?” Dib said to her from the chair, some concern in his voice.

She brushed his concern away and said, “Mimi and I were just talking for bit. Nothing to worry about.” After she gave her explanation she hopped onto the chair Dib was in and laid across the armrests of the chair over his lap. The hesitation she had that prevented her from doing it before was gone, or at least she wanted to distract herself and him from what was bothering her. “So, what are we doing?” She said cozily as she hugged the side of him.

“We were thinking of a Smash tournament in teams.” Gaz said.

“What is that again?” Tak asked.

“You played it with Gaz before.” Dib said, “It’s the fighting game with all the different characters.”

“Gaz, didn’t you call it Tekken earlier?”

“What? No.” Gaz said slightly disgusted with Tak’s confusion, “Smash is the one that’s a cross-over of a whole bunch of video games characters. They look like cartoons, you played as Samus. The girl in the orange robot suit.”

“Oh.” Tak said as she remembered being introduced to that game by her. Gaz had shown it to her after she played against her in Tekken for the first time and enjoyed it. Gaz had hoped that she’d enjoy it, since it was also a fighting game, but Tak found the depth of the video game somewhat lacking, and also said the art style did not appeal to her. “I vaguely remember you showing me that, yes. Has everyone already decided on playing it?”

“Yeah but we haven’t figured out teams yet.” Dib said, “I thought it could be me and you Vs. Gaz and Zim.”

Almost immediately after Dib finished Zim interjected, “Which I refused!” I’m still annoyed that Gaz decided to play Sonic without me, and with you all people. So I’m ready to carry Dib and enact my rightful vengeance against you!” He finished pointing to Gaz who merely brushed his hand away lazily and replied unimpressed,

“Which I’m more than fine with. I could go for boys Vs. girls.”

The idea delighted Tak. Partly because she knew she would win easily with Gaz and because she was interested with the idea of a battle of the sexes. The differences of male and female was not something acknowledge in the empire, apart from visual differences. She thought that was better than one side thinking that the other was inferior, but she liked the idea of belonging to a group. She said happily, “And I would be more than happy with winning. Sounds good to me.”

After they agreed the four of them began setting up to play their competition. Mimi and Gir were not included nor were they interested in playing. Gir was quietly sitting in their corner of the room while he played a small hand held video game and Mimi was resting on his lap as he did so. Zim and Dib won rock-paper-scissors for the couch, so they got to sit in it while Tak and Gaz had to sit on the floor. Tak had originally chosen Samus the first time she played, as she found its armor very neutral in appearance, so it was easy for her to relate to it. Once she was at the character select screen she noticed the blue character from the game she was playing with Gaz earlier was a choice. So she opted to play as it instead. Gaz choose Luigi, Dib choose Link, and Zim choose Mr. Game and Watch. Gaz had originally opted to play without items in their fight but Dib and Zim insisted they were aloud, she relented on the condition that friendly fire was turned on as a condition.

After the details of the competition was decided, the game finally began. Tak had to learn the particulars of her character as she played but found it rather easy, as most of the principles she learned in her first playing still applied to her knew character. She also noted that unless she was a total detriment to the team Gaz would be able to defeat Dib and Zim easily, but they were their own worst enemy. With friendly fire on the two of them caused damage to each other multiple times and by the time they were beginning to lose they were bickering with one another and completely ignored the game. Tak found the two of them bickering quiet amusing, and was also pleased that her victory was assured. She let out a light laugh as the two of them continued, but was surprised to hear a small groan come from Gaz beside her. “Your boyfriend is an idiot.” She said annoyed to her as she played.

Tak had to keep herself from laughing but still said very amused, “Hey, he’s your brother.”

“Don’t remind me.” Was all Gaz said. That was the end of their discussion and in very little time the two of them had achieved victory over the two of them. Zim had actually killed Dib at the last moment when his character was on his last bit of health, and Tak let out a laugh after seeing it. Once everything was done Zim had his arms crossed and sulked as he claimed Dib was responsible for their loss. Gaz didn’t say much to any of their bickering but Tak was quiet pleased with their accomplishments. She stretched her arms up and said, very please,

“Well that was fun. So, what’s our plan for the remainder of the night?”

“I don’t know.” Said Dib somewhat annoyed with Zim still, “We could watch another movie or just hang out for a bit.” He turned and looked to a clock on the wall that read 11:47 PM and said, “It’s not even midnight so…”

At the word ‘midnight’ he was interrupted by the sound of Gir repeating the word in shock. He got up from his place with Mimi and ran over to the back of the couch and grabbed lightly onto Zim as he said, “Master, we missed my walk! Can we go now please?” Zim only responded with an annoyed and drawn out, “Gir.” As he attempted to shake him off.

“Walk?” Tak asked confused.

“From back when he was a dog.” Zim began, “He got into this annoying habit of begging me to take him on one every other week for like two hours at night.”

“But the first one we did was so much fun!” Gir replied gleefully.

“Wandering around for two days looking for our base was not fun.” Zim said sternly.

“We don’t have to go that long. Maybe just around the neighborhood, or to our house and back, maybe we can stop at Taco-Shack on the way?” Gir began prattling on as he got lost in the places he wanted to go to tonight and Zim interrupted him by calling out his name again irritated. “Please! Please! Please!” Gir began begging incessantly after Zim spoke.

Tak snickered slightly to herself as she watched the scene unfold. While she found the two of them annoying and worried about Gir’s influence over Mimi, she couldn’t help but laugh at Zim’s inability to control his SIR unit and the rather childish way in which he acted.

“I thought you were having fun tonight?” Zim started to say, “Haven’t you been doing almost nothing but play with Mimi since we got here?”

“Can Kitty come too!?” Gir stopped his pleading immediately and beamed at the possibility of Mimi coming for their walk.

At that suggestion Tak’s smirk subsided and was replaced with a scowl. She had agreed to let Mimi interact with him but she wasn’t about to let her leave the property in their company.  She found herself glaring up the couch at Zim and Gir but neither of them seemed to notice her. Zim expression changed at Gir’s suggestion and looked somewhat concerned. He said, “Uh, no. Mimi should stay.”

Gir whined quietly as he let up on Zim’s shirt. He looked down to the ground for a moment before he looked up to him with a sad expression and said, “We’re not going then?”

Zim still couldn’t handle an entreating stare from Gir, so rather reluctantly he conceded to him. He let out an exaggerated groan as he said, “We can go but we’re not staying out long.” At Zim’s agreement Gir let go of him and ran off to his spot to grab his belongings before they left.

“Are you guys really going on a walk for the rest of the night?” Gaz asked dubiously.

Zim got up from the couch and grabbed his sweatshirt and shoes to put on as he said, “No, we’re not. I’m just taking him around the neighborhood a few times until he’s satisfied.”

“How long are you guys going out?” Gaz asked.

Zim finished putting on his sweater and shoes and said shrugging, “I don’t know. Maybe ten, twenty, thirty minutes? Why, want to tag along?”

Gaz shrugged and stood up as she said, “Eh, I’ll pass. I need to take a shower.” She went to the stairs and called out from it, “I’ll be in my room afterwards, let me know if we’re doing anything else.”

Zim waved to Gaz as she went up and then looked to Dib, “You coming?”

“No. I think I’m good here.” Dib said as he tried to subtly place his hand on Tak’s shoulder. She didn’t say anything about it even though she noticed and was sure Zim did too. He shrugged and said nothing further if he did.

Gir walked up to him as they talked. He had on his dog backpack and green sweater, and a big smile on his face. “You ready?” Zim asked slightly annoyed. Gir gave the affirmative that he was and then they went on their way. “No running off this time. I don’t want the neighbors to have to see me walking you around with a leash on.” He said as they made it to the door.

“Can we hold hands then?” Gir asked hopefully.

“No Gir.” Zim said flatly and Gir responded with a disappointed moan. The last thing heard from them was the door slamming shut. As silence came to the room after the noise of the door faded away Tak stood up from her spot on the ground and sat back down on the couch next to Dib.

“I don’t understand why he tolerates that behavior from his SIR unit.” She began to say as she looked towards the door, “If Mimi acted that way I’d reprogram or maybe even disassemble her.”

Dib exhale a small breathe through his nose as laugh and smiled to her as he said, “I don’t think you would, and he isn’t always easy on Gir. He can be more than a handful, but I think he has his own way of dealing with him.” He made a small yawn and an exaggerated stretch as he brought his arms up and around the back of the couch. “Things went pretty well tonight, all things considered.” He said after he finished.

“Yeah.” Tak said somewhat nervously as she adjusted her hair, “I guess they did.” A small smile creeped up her face as she scooted a bit closer to him, but it left her as something caught her eyes. Mimi sat at the opposite end of the room and watched the two of them; Tak thought with mild judgment. Dib looked around after he noticed she was looking beyond him and also spied Mimi, but he didn’t seem too concerned with her, or at least didn’t say anything if he was. Tak gave her a stern look after Dib turned away, but she did not communicate anything to her. Even without doing so Mimi understood the order, she nodded and walked away, where Tak didn’t know, but she didn’t care so long as she had privacy.

After Mimi was gone Dib turned back around to Tak and noticed she still had a hard look on her face and said a bit concerned, “Everything good?”

She was startled out of her thoughts and replied dismissively, “Yeah, yeah. I just told her to give us some privacy and watch for us.”

“Oh.” Dib said, a little nervous. After she heard his tone the same feeling crept into Tak as well. She brought up her legs and hugged her knees to her chest as she sat on the couch. Dib patted the couch repeatedly and blew a small raspberry.

“Do you mind if I change into something more comfortable?” Tak said breaking the silence.

“Sure.” He said as his voice cracked slightly.

Tak did not notice and only let out a relieved, “Finally.” As she brought her hand to her forearm and turned off her disguise. Her disguise faded away and she was left on the couch as a tall Irkern in human pajamas. She brushed her hands through her antennas repeatedly and looked to Dib, who she thought gave her a more quizzical than normal look. A small panic came over her as she misinterpreted what his look could mean and she said very nervously, “You said your father doesn’t keep cameras in the house right?” She said as she frantically looked around the room for any signs of cameras she may have missed.

Dib laughed and brought down his hands from the back of the couch to his side. “It’s a bit late for that. But yeah, no cameras. That’s not why I’m staring though.” He pointed at Tak’s shirt which caused her to look down at herself to find what he was pointing at, still confused as to what it was. “You’re wearing human clothes.” He said.

The realization finally came to her, she fiddle with one of her antennas with her fingers as she trailed off looking away from him, “Yeah, I haven’t really been doing this very long. Just a few months, and I don’t even know why I’m doing this. It’s stupid.” She finished saying the last part under her breathe to herself.

“No.” Dib reassured her as he grabbed her free hand on the couch. “You look good.” He looked at her and their eyes meet each other’s. They did not say anything further and only stared, after what seemed like both an instant and an eternity the two of them found themselves moving their faces closer towards one another. Before their faces meet Tak broke the silence of the room and asked,

“Earlier today,” she attempted to speak smoothly, but she felt her entire body was laced with stress. “What did you think I called you to the closet for?” It was something that was bothering her mind the entire day, and he never gave an answer to her when she asked.

Dib retreated from her and a pained look came over his face as it turned slightly red, he did not realize she was nervous as well. He removed his hand from hers and rubbed the back of his neck with it as he struggle with what to say and admired the ceiling. “That…Oh that…I was just-really I was just…uh…”

Before he could stammer further he was interrupted as Tak placed her hand on him. He stopped immediately at her touch and looked at her. Their gaze meet each other’s again and Tak tried to find words for what to say. She was unable to find any and silence entered the room again, and in the silence and tenderness of the moment the two found themselves leaning towards each other again until they kissed each other. Tak wasn’t sure what Dib misinterpreted her messages as, but she had a few ideas. She decided whatever it was, was not important now, but if it was what she thought was most likely she was sure she was not ready for that level of intimacy. Not to say she didn’t want to be close to him, far from it.  

As they kissed she found her arms around the back of his head and felt her antennas bend of the top of his head. The later was an involuntary reaction that would sometimes happen to her when she was more intimate with Dib, but the exact reason and purpose behind it eluded her, as many parts of her body still did. Their kiss grew more passionate and involved, and Tak felt her tongue and his explore each other’s mouth more heavily. Dib leaned into her as they kissed and caused her to lean back onto the couch, leaving Dib lying on top of her as they did. As she laid on her back one of her hands found itself leaving the back of his head and down his back. Then Tak felt the warm touch of one of his hand on her waist as it began going up her shirt and reached the bottom of her pak. She wondered that if things went any further whether she would have resisted or merely gone along with it, and experience what could happen. In that moment however, she was interrupt by a familiar voice in her head,

“Ma’am…? Ma’am…hear me?” Mimi was attempting to communicate with her and she sound very concerned, but for whatever reason her signal was coming through with interference. It could have been the problem from earlier today resurfacing, or it was caused by Tak’s mind being preoccupied. She did not care what the reason was, much less why Mimi was bothering her, as she had ordered her to be silent for the rest of the night, and was still upset with her. She ignored her but another message came, “…There’s a…We have to…”

“Then take care of it.” Tak communicated to her sternly in between her kisses, which she found difficult and annoying to do.

Her messages still continued, and from the little Tak could tell from them it seemed with increasing urgency, “I can’t! You n-…”

Tak meant to communicate ‘I’m busy’ to her, but she was too preoccupied to do even that. All she did was pull away from Dib for a moment as she mouthed, “Busy.” In a short of breath exhale that was barely more than a whisper. In the moment their lips where apart from each other Dib noticed that she said something but did not understand her, which caused him to reply with a brief “Huh?” After he did Tak pulled his face back into hers and they continued kissing. Mimi replied for the last time,

“Ma-… -‘re disg-…h-…door!”

Almost immediately after Tak registered her message, she heard the sound of the front door opening, and after that the boisterous sound of Professor Membrane’s voice, “Oh family, I’m home!”

After hearing that, the two of them stopped in their kissing and looked to one another as they laid on the couch together in a moment of collective shock. Dib looked her up and down and said in a hoarse whisper, “Tak! Your disguise!”

After she came to attention, and realized what was going on she immediately went to her system, only to find a similar issue with it from earlier. She swore under her breathe as she tried to fix it but before she could Professor Membrane had already entered the living room. “Hello, Dib? Are you in here?” He said as he entered, and after seeing Dib on top of an undisguised Tak he let out a shocked exclamation.

Dib sat back up instantly and leaned over the back end of the couch, he had his head cradled in one hand as he titled it slightly and said as cheerily as possible, “Oh dad, home already?” After Dib was off of her Tak slithered out from under him and rolled off the couch as she ran towards the door, still with her disguise off. She ran past the professor as he turned around to look at her in surprise. Dib exclaimed, “I can explain!” and fell off the couch face first into the floor.

His father spun around from Tak for a moment and said to him, “Explain what?” in shocked confusion. Tak made her way to the door and grabbed Dib’s trench coat that hanged on the wall while the two of them were distracted. She put on his coat to hide herself and went out the front door. She stood there leaning against the door as she fiddle with her system, she entreated and swore for it to work, but to no avail. She heard the sounds of dogs barking and car alarms going off which made her anxiety flare to the nth degree. It was one thing to walk through the city in a wig and contacts, but another thing to be seen in Dib’s neighborhood without anything at all. Finally, she was able to collect herself and managed to work part of her system and activated her cloaking device, just in time. The door she leaned on swung open behind her, and she stumbled forward and spun around to see Professor Membrane staring out of it. Although she knew he was not able to see her and that her best course of action should have been to run away, she was frozen in fear like a deer in headlights. The Professor had always been an intimidating figure for her, even when she first meet him in person. Dib was tall but The Professor towered above most humans, and he looked gigantic to Tak as she hunched over in fear under his front porch. In the dim light of the night the lab goggles he wore looked like the eyes of an Irken, and in many ways Tak had thought him similar to The Tallest. Skilled and experienced beyond belief, enigmatic and impossible to understand, and distant from the world and those who loved him most. In many ways she saw herself in a position she feared most, the weak and unworthy presented before The Tallest only to be shunned and discarded. And then, as quickly as this vision came, it ended. He removed his goggles from his face and Tak saw his eyes, they were human and like Dib’s, hazel in color. He looked through her and then extended his head out the door to look at either direction, once he was satisfied he closed the door behind him, and Tak could hear him say, “It looks like your little friend is gone.”

_______________________________________________________________

It felt like an eternity between the relief hitting her and the sound of the door clicking shut. When she came to, she ran a few housed down from the Membrane’s and dove into a bush to huddle in as she tried to fix her system. She turned down her cloaking device so she could see her system as she worked, and entreated with it again as she tried to get it to comply. Finally, after some minutes of fiddling she was able to reactivate her disguise. She felt her face and hair in her hard light disguise and felt she was in the clear. Then she wrapped Dib’s coat close around her and hugged her knees to her body as she buried her face into them. Later, how long Tak was unsure of, Mimi found her and poked her head through the bush with Tak’s boots in her mouth. She asked if she was okay, but Tak didn’t respond. Mimi continued,

“I was able to grab your boots but your backpack is still at the house. Their parental unit went to his lab, but I didn’t want to risk being caught.” Tak still did not respond and she continued now very concerned as she went to her, “Ma’am, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Tak said coldly with her voice muffled between her legs. Then she slowly raised her head up and Mimi saw sadness in her eyes as she said slowly, “I have never been more humiliated in my entire life.” There was a pause before either of them spoke. Then Mimi asked timidly,

“What are we going to do now?”

Tak sighed deeply and buried her face in her hands as she said defeated, “Let’s just go home.” Mimi hung her head at her statement and looked dejected as she watched her put her boots on in silence. Tak crawled out of the bush and shook it off as she stood up, then Mimi followed in suit behind her. Tak looked at her for a moment then turned away to begin their long walk home. As she did a thought came to her, which caused her to tighten her fist and clench her teeth. She turned around to her and said angrily, “Why didn’t you do anything!?”

“I did.” Mimi shot back offended. “I was trying to message you.”

“And why wasn’t it working?”

Mimi was slightly confused by her question and responded likewise, “I don’t Ma’am. I thought we fixed it.”

“I thought-” Tak began but stopped midsentence as she reflected and looked down at her hands as she squeezed them and said to herself, “I thought we fixed it too.” She looked up from them after she finished and said still angry, “Why didn’t you do anything else?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” She shot back also growing angry, “It’s not like you sent me to keep watch. I only left cause of the look you gave me. You’re lucky I said anything at all, considering you told me keep quiet for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, so I’m supposed to be thanking you?” Tak said condescendingly, “For sending me a staticky message, and not doing anything to stop him?”

“What was I supposed to do to stop him?”

“I don’t know. Where on Irk were you that you could see him but not do anything?”

“I-I don’t know.” Mimi said panicking and deflected, “Why is it my fault you couldn’t pay attention to me while you were exchanging bodily fluids with your freak lab experiment!?”

At her comment Tak let out an enraged groan and yelled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” Then in a fit of rage she went over and kicked Mimi. Her kick did no damage but the act itself frightened and shocked Mimi. She coward in fear as Tak approached, she bent down to her and said, “You are going to keep quiet. Forever! No more comments, no more advice, and no more making me feel more disgusted with myself than I already am! Do you understand?” Mimi tried to communicate with Tak, but she was too angry to register any communication from her. She yelled again at her, “Do you understand!?”

“Yes.” Mimi almost cried out her response. She had the ability to make vocal communications but Tak forbade her to normally unless they were within their base. She could have coded her response in the noise of a cat’s meow but she was worried Tak was too angry to even understand that. Tak breathed heavily as she stood over Mimi and without another word she turned around and once again began her walk to her base. Mimi followed in tow, crouching low and quietly. After a few minutes of walking Tak had mostly calmed down. She made it to a cross road near the border of Dib’s neighborhood and heard the voice of Zim who said,

“I don’t know Gir. We’re probably not going back tonight.” She turned up the road where the voice came from and saw Zim and Gir sitting on the side of the road as they ate popcorn and watched a small handheld screen in their hands. “You really should have washed those dishes when I told you to, and the suds in the sink didn’t help.”

“I was going to do it.” Gir said annoyed as he grabbed a handful of popcorn and ate it, Zim grabbed another handful and did likewise. Tak was completely bemused at what she was seeing and walked up to them without saying a word. Zim noticed Tak approach them and said unconcerned with a full mouth,

“Oh hey Tak.” He took out more popcorn and said still chewing, “You got kicked out?”

Tak looked at the screen they were watching and saw a live feed of the Membrane household. At the sight of the two of them on the road and everything that was happening she was beside herself with how to formulate any of the questions she had. So she asked the least important one. She brought her hand to her face and brushed her hair up as she asked, “Where did you get this popcorn?”

“I made it!” Gir said excitedly to her. Then the head portion of his disguise disappeared in a flash of light, which revealed his robotic face. The top of his head opened up to show cooking popcorn and he asked her if she wanted any.

Tak stood in front of him and extended the flaps of her coat to her sides to cover him from prying eyes as she said angrily and deliberately, “We are in hiding here. Put your disguise on!”

Zim interrupted her and said unconcerned, “Hey, he can do whatever he wants.” He then turned to him and said flatly, “Gir. Put your disguise back on.”

Gir replied, “Okay!” and in anther flash of light his disguise returned with a wide smile over his human face. Tak relaxed at seeing his disguise back and let out a relieved sigh as she stood over him for a moment. Then Gir playfully poked at her belly, commenting that it was squishy. She slapped his hand away and wrapped her coat around her tightly. Then she looked to Zim and asked,

“What are you two just doing here sitting on the side of the road? And how on Irk do you have a video feed of the Membranes? I thought they didn’t have cameras in the house.”

“They don’t. They’re my cameras.” Zim stated without even the slightest hesitation.

Tak was once again beside herself at his response and asked, “Where do you have the cameras? The whole house?”

“No.” Zim said firmly with a shake of his head. Then Gir added,

“I like to watch him using the bathroom.” He then grabbed the screen from Zim’s hands and showed it to Tak. He hit a button on it which showed an empty bathroom in the house. Then Zim grabbed it back from him hurriedly and said nervously,

“I uh, keep telling him not to do that.”

Tak didn’t say anything for a moment and stood crossing her arms. She glared and said annoyed but not angry to him, “Does Dib know you have cameras in his house? Does Gaz?”

“Dib does.” Zim replied as he gave the screen back to Gir and had a face off with Tak as he also crossed his arms. While the two of them were talking neither of them noticed Mimi had snuck up to the side of Gir as she curiously examined the screen herself. Gir excitedly but quietly exclaimed “Kitty!” as he petted her gently and offered her some popcorn, which she ate happily.  

“Why is he okay that you have cameras all over his house?” Tak said with angry skepticism.

Zim unfolded his arms and raised them up in a shrug as he said, “I mean he has cameras in my house. It’s only fair.”

It seemed to Tak that more she prodded him for information the more outrageous the situation seemed. She knew Zim was eccentric, and that Dib was much more than a little obsessed with him in their early years, but their continuous surveillance of each other was too much for her. She shouted, “Why the fuck do you have cameras in each other’s houses!?”

Zim covered himself with his arms at Tak’s yelling but before either of them could continue Gir shushed them and said quietly as he pointed to the screen, “Dad’s back.”

Tak knew there could only be one “Dad” he was talking about. So she went behind them and joined in huddling around the screen to watch the events unfold in the membrane household. The video feed was the living room, Gaz sat on the couch with a towel on her head as she played on a handheld video game. Dib sat next to her hunched over with his hands folded, and their father had just entered and sat in the armchair.

“What is he going to do to them?” Tak said with hushed concern. She knew their lives weren’t at risk but some of her fears of The Professor were seeping back to her.

“Don’t know.” Zim said, absorbed in the feed, “After he caught you and Dib, he went over to the kitchen and saw the mess. Then got kind of angry and called for Gaz to come down before he went to check on things in his lab.” He spoke carelessly as he went over the events Tak missed, but as he finished he noticed Tak had placed an arm on his shoulder and began tightening it to an uncomfortable degree. He looked up at her and saw her face contorted in rage as she said dementedly between her teeth,

“You fucking saw that?” Tak was still very shy about letting others see her intimate with Dib. The idea that Zim was gawking at her as she exchanged spit with him made her want to drag Zim to her base and vivisect him.

“I got a silent alarm that somebody entered the house and checked the feed to make sure it wasn’t anything bad and when I saw it was just their dad I wanted to see what would happen. That’s it I swear.” Zim blurted out in a rushed panic as he turned to Tak.

She replied with building anger, “You watch Dib and Gaz go to the bathroom and expect me to believe that?” Before they could continue, they were again interrupted by Gir as he brought their attention to the feed as the Membrane family talked. They caught the professor in mid-sentence as he said:

[-completely and totally irresponsible. I leave the two of you home alone for the weekend and when I’m able to come home early - I see that you decided to host some, ‘wild party’.]

The Professor wave his hand up in exaggeration for his comment. Gaz replied from her game: [It wasn’t a ‘wild party’. We had three people over. Four if you count the cat.]

The Professor said eminently: [That mess in the kitchen does not look like ‘four people’. Maybe a dozen or twice that.]

Gaz said indifferently: [Well Gir can do that.]

The Professor said:[Gaz, would please shut off your game when we’re having a discussion?]

[I can hear you fine dad.]

[Gazlene, please.] Her father more ordered than entreated her. She begrudgingly obeyed and put her game down as she folded her arms in annoyance. Her father continued:

[And who was that with you on the couch when I walked in?]

He ended pointing to Dib who replied: [It was Tak.]

The Professor: [Then why was she green with antennas and bald?]

“Heh, he noticed that.” Zim said with slight surprise.

“No fucking shit he noticed it. Now be quiet.” Tak hissed out at him as she watched the screen. Dib replied:

[It was a costume.]

The Professor was completely bewildered and said: [Why was she in a full body costume?]

Dib trailed on “Because” as he tried to find an answer until Gaz blurted out: [She’s into roleplay.]

The Professor repeated the word “roleplay” in confusion and Dib brought his hand to his face to cover in embarrassment as he said, [Yeah… She’s into roleplay.]

“Oh my fucking…” Tak said in between her teeth as she brought her own hands to her face in embarrassment, but was interrupted by Zim who said assuredly,

“The good a cover. That’s a really good cover. I think you’re in the clear Tak.” He said pleased as he turned around to look at her.

“What’s roleplay?” Gir asked confused.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Zim replied quickly as he pushed the subject to the side.

“What do I care if it’s a good cover. He thinks I’m a weirdo!” Tak almost screamed her worried response at them.

“He’s not going to think you’re a weirdo.” Zim dismissed her concern and continued after he grabbed a fistful of popcorn and said confidently, “And he’s not going to think you’re an alien.” He chewed for a bit before he continued with a full mouth, “Honestly I’m proud of after tonight. You just need to admit you’re weird like the rest of us. That make-out session was a bold move for you. I thought you found that stuff gross.”

At Zim’s light hearted but ill timed jeer, Tak grew angry and kicked their bucket of popcorn into the street. They yelled out an annoyed “Hey!?” after which Tak stormed off as she yelled to them, “I’m going home! I am going home!” Snarling as Mimi followed in suit low to the ground without a word. Tak was beyond furious with the night, and everything that happened. She walked down the street for a moment until she said to Mimi in almost a growl, “We are going home. And I’m going down the first dark alley way I see, and whoever is ugly enough to want to try to attack or rape me is getting dragged to our base so I can fucking mutilate them.” More than likely, she would do that before the end of the night. There was still plenty of it left, and the weekend hadn’t even started.

[everysongineverykey]

WARNING! LEGACY SPOILERS!!

The table came crashing onto the floor with a smashing of wood and a scream, the owner of whom was difficult to identify. Tam, the person who had thrown it, threw up his hands in angry defense.

“For the last time, a hot dog is not a fucking sandwich!” he yelled, his eyes ablaze with fury.

Sophie furiously scrambled to her feet. No. He wasn’t going to have the last word. Not on her watch.

“IF A HOT DOG ISN’T A SANDWICH, THEN BIANA’S NOT A VANISHER, YOU… YOU…” she fumbled for a good insult.

“Crusty, silver-eating, bad rip-off of a hot topic clerk?” Keefe suggested helpfully.

“YEAH!” Sophie screamed. “AND IF YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND BASIC LOGIC, THEN LET’S LOOK IN THE ELF!” She strode to the bookshelf and pulled out The Elf’s Comprehensive Dictionary And Thesaurus, Approved And Created By Councillor Bronte, Language Enthusiast, or TECDATAACBCBLE officially. Or again, as an easier name the ten of them had made up themselves, The Elf.

“By the power vested in me by The Elf’s Comprehensive Dictionary And Thesaurus, Approved And Created By Councillor-” (“Just say The Elf!” whined Marella) “-Bronte, Language Enthusiast,” Sophie continued angrily, flipping through The Elf’s many pages, “I hereby pronounce that a hot dog shall henceforth be known by all the Lost Cities as a form of sandwich, as proven by… THIS DEFINITION!”

She slammed the book down onto the couch and triumphantly stabbed a finger at the definition of “sandwich.” Linh bent her head and read it out loud-

“An item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with meat, cheese, or other filling between them, usually as a light meal.”

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. For a second Tam looked like he was moments away from grabbing Sophie, who was now sitting smugly on the couch staring at him, and throttling the life out of her and everyone else in the room.

And then he sighed and closed his eyes, smiling slowly when he opened them again.

“All right, Sophie. You’ve given me some very solid proof. Well done you.”

Sophie looked so smug that even Keefe wanted to wipe that stupid smile off her face.

Tam walked calmly, almost happily, over to the far corner of the room, and turned around, admiring a painting on the wall. Then he suddenly turned to the others again and smiled with the air- at least, Sophie thought so- of a TV movie villain who was about to reveal his secret identity to the heroes.

“It was very clever, you know, pulling out The Elf like that. I don’t know if I would’ve thought of that. A real kid genius, that’s you.” He said all this while straightening a few ornaments on the mantelpiece absentmindedly, not looking at any of them. Still smiling. “I suppose now I should admit defeat.”

“That’d be appropriate, yes,” said Sophie, still smug, but more cautious. She didn’t like the way Tam was acting.

“But,” he continued, finally turning to face them, “I’m afraid there’s one crucial fact you’ve overlooked.”

Sophie raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

Tam picked up The Elf and flipped to a different page.

“You see, my dear Sophie, if we are using The Elf as our source, then we must heed all its definitions, and if we do that, we must remember…”

He suddenly exploded, shoving The Elf in Sophie’s face and pointing to another definition, his face convulsed with anger, his previous attitude vanished without a trace.

“THAT IT DEFINES A HOT DOG AS A FUCKING FRANKFURTER!”

He threw The Elf across the room, shattering an expensive vase sitting on a shelf. Sophie leapt to her feet, angry and flustered.

“But- But that doesn’t mean anything!” she blustered desperately. “A frankfurter could be considered filling!”

“OH FUCKING REALLY?” Tam demanded. He knew he had the upper hand. “THEN LET’S ASK THE ELF, SHALL WE?” He raced towards the shelf where the book had been thrown, but Sophie was determined to win the argument and threw her entire body weight on him, knocking them both to the floor. A mad fistfight followed. Dex managed to avoid their flailing limbs and picked up the book calmly, flipping to the f section.

“GUYS!” he yelled. Sophie and Tam did not look up. Tam had two black eyes by now, and Sophie was struggling to avoid another punch to her split lip. Dex was pretty sure he also saw a gap in her teeth that wasn’t there the day before.

He gave up trying to get their attention, and read out the definition of frankfurter. 

“A seasoned smoked sausage made of beef and pork.”

Silence. The only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of Tam and Sophie’s bloody brawl.

“Well, that didn’t solve anything,” grumbled Dex, closing The Elf. Suddenly, Biana’s eyes lit up.

“Wait a minute- hey, Sophie?”

Sophie did not answer.

“Tam? Sophie? Guys?”

Neither of them paid any attention to her calls- they were both battered and bruised all over, but still fighting.

Biana sighed, then walked over to Dex.

“Dex,” she said, calmly and professionally, “on the count of three, would you be a dear and hold Sophie down? I’ll grab Tam.”

Dex acquiesced. 

At the number, they both dropped to the ground and grabbed their assigned person’s arms- Dex hooked his around Sophie’s, stopping her from punching, and Biana did the same with Tam.

“What the hell’re you doing?” growled Sophie. Her hair was disheveled, and some of it had clearly been ripped out in chunks.

“There’s no need for this anymore,” Biana said, remaining as calm and collected as ever. “I’ve figured it out.”

They both stopped resisting.

“Fihured wha ou?” said Tam. Clearly his bruised tongue was giving him trouble.

“I know what a hot dog is.”

The room fell silent again.

“Now, if you’ll both get up and stop fighting, I’ll explain.”

They both reluctantly got to their feet and stumbled over to the couch. The others stared at them, a little scared. Biana stood up and cleared her throat.

“The Elf defines a sandwich as two pieces of bread with filling between them. A hot dog bun, however, is only one piece of bread.”

Sophie’s first instinct was to jump to her feet, but she controlled herself.

“Therefore, we must conclude that a hot dog… is not a sandwich.”

Sophie did not control herself this time. Biana put a hand up to stop her. Surprisingly enough, it worked.

Tam looked like a seven-year-old who had just proven that his dad was the coolest.

“In fact,” continued Biana, “it is something entirely different.”

Everyone raised their eyebrows.

“But- but what else could it possibly be?” asked a confused Wylie.

“It’s a taco,” said Biana, with all the foolish confidence of Don Quixote.

All of the others turned furious eyes on her, and in a matter of seconds Biana was down on the floor being beaten and battered by the rest of the kids, who were all chanting “NOT A TACO! NOT A TACO! NOT A TACO!”

Marella set a poker on fire and was about to beat Biana with it when the door opened.

“Hey, everyone, sorry I’m-”

Fitz couldn’t even finish his sentence when he beheld the scene before him. Keefe raced towards him and pinned him to the wall.

“Quick!” growled Keefe, “What’s a hotdog?”

All eyes were on Fitz.

“…Isn’t it that thing with the sausage in the bun that you usually eat for breakfast?”

Grady and Edaline came home that day to find the entire house destroyed, Marella hurling fireballs at everyone, Fitz and Biana lying unconscious in  the rubble, Linh trying to drown everyone, Tam unleashing shadowflux, Wylie burning people with the light of a million suns, Sophie inflicting all manner of pain onto her friends, Keefe throwing goblin throwing stars left and right, and Dex shooting all kinds of guns and using all kinds of weapons that he himself had built. Keefe had been heard to yell “MY MOM’S IN THE FUCKING NEVERSEEN, BITCHES, DON’T FUCK WITH ME!” while Linh seemed to be speaking some ancient sea language that was definitely summoning krakens as she chanted. Sophie might have been speaking in biblical tongues, but it wasn’t clear. Her voice was strangled and confusing. She was definitely being possessed, though, by… something. Marella was chanting in the ancient tongue of Pyrana, the great elven goddess of fire and fury, and was summoning what looked to be demons. The krakens and the demons began to fight at this point. Wylie, meanwhile, appeared to be pulling actual stars out of the sky and throwing them at people, screaming, “MY DAD DIDN’T ALMOST DIE FOR THIS SHIT!” 

Dex was just singing Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger very loudly.

They were all exiled to an Atlantian prison colony in the Mariana Trench a couple days later, and they never did come to an agreement over the identity of a hot dog.

[frawgkin]

And I’m sorry. I’m gonna keep typing for some stupid reason. Some of this shit is too fun. I know people will tell you to travel and shit but it costs a lot. Some of these drugs cost a lot. Some of the prescriptions cost a lot. Having a child costs a lot. You just need to go into debt so the country will reward you somehow maybe? I don’t know I just found out they cut off food stamps and three months. I don’t want clout I want what Pharrell has. I want to be showing you something. I want to be the museum man. I really don’t believe. I don’t have faith. I’ve said before I lost faith in weed. I don’t have a hunger for it now. I’ve tried new things and now I can wait. I’m not a zombie to that now too. I just need a chance. I remember watching Face/Off and thinking who would want either of their faces or souls. That’s okay. Sometimes I’m ignorant. A lot of the time I am. I’m not bigoted by a long shot. I’m just honest in a way a poor person can be. I am poor. My family isn’t poor. I don’t have values or money. I eat what they say I can eat. She wants me to find work like I haven’t just be trying to do that. Where I’m from they sell heroin and weed on the same corner just like where you’re from. I’ve had instability within my stability. It’s always paradoxical. I swear on me you would have fun and feel anxiety. If you could know what I’ve been through and what I’ve seen and what I’ve experienced vicariously. The way people claim it’s like a movie, just believe them maybe their movie is about smoking alone and being depressed cause somebody or something died in front of them. Who cares. Their life, their movie. I always wanted a bully again. Since I was getting beat up everyday in 6th grade I wanted the chance to just, pull someone apart. I won’t compare or describe what I would do to someone that will not stop bothering me. I want to be bothered I’m so prepared for that now. I’m so fucking sorry that everyone else in society has to exist with people like me. I’m not the only person who thinks this freely. Eventually we all come out and say we are insane as fuck. I can’t explain it any better than that. I really just felt like laying on my stomach for 3:19-4:14 typing these up. I’m very just involved with me. I’ve always been here with myself. I’m not schizophrenic or anything. I just sometimes become aware that I’m in my body. Being John Malkovich style. I hope that I don’t read any philosopher books because it will make me go even crazier. It doesn’t take much to motivate me at all I swear. And I decent lover. You will feel so held and then dropped and I will cry about it. There’s something so mystical about me. There’s something so interesting about the way I look at you. You would benefit from me being in your life and at the same time it would cause you great deal of pain to lose me. I bring an energy I’ve never seen from anyone else. I’ve seen things that are great but this is like a natural disaster. I can’t be linear. I can’t do it. I think about everything like it’s chemistry which I suck at. I know there’s a difference between a compound and mixture. I know that I want a blue flame. I don’t need red that means it’s going to leave soon. I’m obsessive of me. Please take care of me. Thank me love me. You’ll get it back. I just need to know you’re conscious. I’m not a conscious rapper enthusiast. They sound so dumb talking about real shit. I can’t vibe with it I don’t even wanna vibe. I turn up and I flail. I like bedroom pop and shoegaze and slow stuff. I think I’m interested in the forbidden music too. It’s amuses me. What everyone likes now I hate so much. I have to pretend to like it. It’s like everyone is tooth in my mouth and I can reach all of them and I’d rather lose them but at what cost? It’s unhygienic and unfortunate. But a gap won’t hurt me. I like Lady Gaga. I like slipknot. And I love Toro. I’m in love with Clams Casino and Bjork and Chief Keef. If Young Thug dies I will stop listening to music. How can I be so hypocritical. It’s 4:22 and I don’t have an alarm on my phone for the first time in years.

[quillandinkjournalism-blog]

{ @quillandinkjournalism | @nightmare-keef }

Jamie had been staying in Nightmare's suite for a few days now. He'd done a significant amount of work on his article, but wasn't ready to send it out. Otherwise, he'd spent much of his time trying, and failing, to relax. He'd kept to himself, really, aside from a few brief visits from Nightmare. He'd spent a lot of time crying over the last few wasted months. The fear of being alone. Trying to learn to readjust.

He wasn't sure why it felt like everything was falling apart now, when he was safe on the Massive and Christopher was far away. Loud noises still startled him and he still didn't feel like himself. He had night terrors. He'd gotten numb with Christopher; it became normal, like being with him was just how it was supposed to be.

Currently, Jamie lay in bed after trying to soothe himself with a long bath with unexpectedly luxurious products, having sat with a glass of wine and a book of poetry. But he felt worse the moment he got out, seeing that his bruises had hardly faded. His knee wasn't sore anymore, but he still bore the marks. After some time in bed, Jamie wiggled over for his phone, sending out a text.

[TXT] Hey Keef. Would you want to come visit with me for a little while?

Nightmare had been distracted easily over the last few days. He felt twitterpated all over again, just like he had when he and Jamie were first getting to know each other. But he knew that it just was not the time. It was not the place. There was healing to be done and boundaries that had to be upheld. Being supportive from a slight distance was the very best thing he could do for Jamie right now.

Not that it stopped his heart from settling in his throat whenever his phone chimed.

The redhead had been washing fruit for lunch when one such message came through, causing him to jump slightly, managing to slice his thumb on the blade. He cursed under his breath, bringing the finger up to his mouth as he read the message and typed one back with one hand.

[TXT] Of course. :D

[TXT] I am in the kitchen. Got any requests?

Jamie picked up his phone when the messages came through, tugging it under the blankets with him and reading them in the darkness of his covers, a small smile tugging at his lips at Nightmare's response. He'd always been such a sweetheart.

The brunette considered the question for a moment, smiling a little wider when he decided how to respond.

[TXT] Are there any of those fruit tarts left from dessert yesterday? I liked those. I think I could probably eat an entire tray of them if you let me.

[TXT] And maybe a cup of coffee.

He nestled further into the bed, holding his phone to his chest. He couldn't help the way his heart skipped a beat. Everything was so different, but even all of the things he knew about Nightmare now - the boy was so much the same. Sweet, loving, kind, reliable. He sighed softly.

Nightmare smiled softly at the response. Of course he wanted coffee. He would be legitimately surprised to find that the human's blood was not composed completely of the stuff.

[TXT] I am sure I can find a few of them left over. They are pretty much a staple of the royal household.

[TXT] And - cup o' Joe.  You got it.

The redhead set about gathering up as many of the Tarts as he could put on one tray and brewing some fresh coffee. Dib had been very particular about stocking legitimate coffee from Earth, quite unimpressed with the synthetic stuff the Irkens were able to replicate. He spent probably ly a bit longer than he needed to drawing a tiny Eiffel Tower in the foam of one oversized mug before setting it and the remaining pot on the tray and stepping forward, through the shadow and into the hallway just outside his room.

He raised his hand, rapping his knuckles against the metal door and called out, "Jamie? Can I come in? I come bearing gifts of coffee and snacks."

Jamie couldn't help the big grin that split across his features, tossing the blankets off of him and sitting up in the bed. "Yeah, of course. Come on in. It's open."

He was wearing a comfortable and extremely soft cream-colour oversized sweater, paired with simple black leggings and fluffy reading socks. It didn't seem to matter what time of year it was, when he was home he wore whatever was the most comfortable, even at risk of complaining about the temperature.

Not that it was evening at all, and he likely shouldn't have been hiding in bed - Jamie flushed a little and pulled the blanket up over his knees.

If Nightmare thought it was inappropriate to be lounging in bed at this time of day, he called exactly zero attention to it. Instead, he walked in with a bright smile on his face, wearing vibrantly green jeans and a black t-shirt with the logo for Wicked across the chest, paired with a green newspaper boy cap and suspenders. As he made his way over to his small table to set down the tray he greeted happily, "I have succeeded in acquiring a fair few tiny fruit tarts and some caffeine."

He picked up the coffee from the tray, carrying it over to the bed where he sat on the edge and handed it over to the human asking, "How are you feeling today, James?"

"Good," Jamie replied at first, smiling at Nightmare's adorable outfit and taking the coffee gently in his hands before he sighed and looked down at the little Eiffel Tower drawn in his foam. "Well. No, that's not entirely true," he began, "I was doing better this morning. And then I got into a bit of a funk, I guess."

Shooting his head back up, he forced a smile at Nightmare and added, "Thank you. For bringing me tarts and coffee. I'm glad to see you. How are you?"

Nightmare pouted slightly but within a moment his smile was back and he replied, "It is understandable for funks to happen. You have been through quite the ordeal."

He tilted his head to the side and asked sweetly, "Would you like to talk about it or would you like to be distracted from it?"

Jamie took a sip of his coffee, pulling a face when it was still just little too hot. "I think for now I would like to be distracted. But if I want to talk about it later would that be okay?"

He couldn't help but to curse himself under his breath, raising a hand to adjust his glasses uncomfortably. He really wasn't the type to ask things like that - if he was feeling something, normally Nightmare would get an earful of it while he stormed around the apartment, blathering about what it was that made him upset until he felt better. He did what he wanted, within reason of course, but he wasn't timid by any means.

Nightmare smiled softly and gave a nod, "Of course. I am always happy to listen to you but I will do my best at being entertaining unless you decide that a listening ear is something you want."

The redhead twisted his wrist in the air and was suddenly holding a deck of cards. Whether it was sleight of hand or actual magic was uncertain. He gave a smile and asked, "Wanna play some cards?"

Jamie laughed when the cards seemed to appear out of nowhere, picking up one of the tarts as he nodded, "Yes. I'd love to. But you know how bad I am at cards."

Nightmare smiled as he began to shuffle the cards, in a manner which he told himself was not an attempt to show off in any way, merely to entertain the boy and distract him from his woes, "You are plenty good at some games. I distinctly remember you beating me at Go Fish five hands in a row the night we moved downtown and they did not turn the power on until the next day."

He began to deal out some cards and asked, "M'kay, so do you want Go Fish or do you want Slap Jack?"

Jamie laughed, taking a big sip of his coffee before setting it on the table next to the bed and repositioning himself, sitting cross-legged across from Nightmare. "That was a really good night," He said, "We ordered really horrible takeout and I played music on my phone. Uh… Go Fish. I think my chances are a little better."

Nightmare grinned down at the cards as he mused back, "That was really the very worst Chinese food I have ever tasted in my life. What even was that mu shu wrap? I swear to Christ they just opened a pack of flour tortillas and called it good."

He looked up with a smirk and added, "I did make good on my word for vengeance in the form of a scathing Google review."

"You did. That was the best-worded negative review I've read in my life. You really should have turned it into slam poetry, honestly," Jamie giggled, sorting through the cards in his hands before looking up and asking, "Got any sixes?"

The redhead chuckled, plucking a six out of his hand and passing it over to the other. "I could probably track it down again. But I have never been much of a poet."

Nightmare kicked off his shoes before folding his legs up on the bed and getting a bit more comfortable. He smiled up at the brunette and said, "Maybe I could get a shitty fast food critic column in Quill and Ink, though. I will make them extra funny."

"Hah, thank you," Jamie said, taking the six and pairing them together. "I think you should do it. It would be really funny. And I am sure our readers would dig a bit more comedy. Do you still read it?" He asked, humming over his cards for a moment before adding, "Got any twos?"

"I can probably do that. Gives me a reason to eat out at all the shitty fast food places that I totally never go to because I am a good boy and always stick to my budget." He pulled a two from his hand, passing it over and adding, "That was sarcasm, by the by."

He flashed another smile and admitted, "Well, from my perspective it has been quite a while since I have read it. In the Nightmare and everything. But I do not think I have missed any issues."

"Sure you are," Jamie snickered and continued as he settled his twos, "I keep forgetting about that time difference. It was so quick for me that it's hard to remember you were gone for so long. What… What was it like there?" He asked, lowering his cards for a moment with a frown. "You haven't told me much about that place. Dib either, really."

Nightmare gave a shrug, but he continued to look up at the human, "Spooky. Cold. Dark. I mean it is like a reflection of this world, but just… way more fog and ambient screaming."

"Oh," Jamie said, chewing on his lip for a moment before continuing, "I'm sorry you got stuck in there again. All of you. Um. Have a Jack?" he asked a little awkwardly, casting Nightmare a light smile.

The redhead gave another shrug and replied with a smile, "It was not so bad without the Professor there. He was super fucked up. But like… the other Nightmares? They are alright people. We were on the Massive, kind of. But the Tallests had their nightmares and Dib and Zim. Even Mika and the smeets. And really they were alright. We all worked together to get through it because they were kind of separated from their reality too."

He plucked a Jack out of his hand and passed it over - how likely is it that he had been dealt all of these cards? That is neither here nor there.

"Oh," Jamie replied, raising his eyebrows as he took and sorted the Jacks off to the side, "I didn't know that. Is there a nightmare version of like… Everybody? How does that work? Aaaand do you have an ace?"

Keef hummed softly and replied. "It is really up to Dib, I would think. I know that the majority of the people that have doppelgangers are people who Dib had direct reason to fear, so it is hard to say who all made it in. I adore that boy but he has some issues."

He dropped his hands to his lap and added chipperly, "Go Fish."

Jamie laughed at the response, drawing from the pile and grinning widely when he drew his ace, showing it off to Keef with a snicker as he sorted it aside as well. "Looks like Go Fish is the game for me. And he really does. Always had, that one," he snickered, asking, "What about a nine?"

Nightmare grinned widely at the remark, glancing down at the four cards left in his hand and musing, "It certainly looks like you are stomping me." He plucked a nine from his hand and passed it over adding, "We should play cards more often."

"You'll have to teach me some more games," Jamie said with a grin, setting the cards aside and humming for a minute before he scooped them all up together. "I'm gonna chalk that up as a win. Sit with me?" He asked, handing the cards all to Nightmare and settling back in the pillows, picking up another tart and eating it more slowly.

Nightmare snatched up his own cards as well as Jamie's, shuffling them once back into the deck which seemed to simply vanish in his hand as he nodded at the request. The redhead began to crawl along the bed until he was able to turn and rest against the headboard and mused, "I would be happy to teach you some new games. I bet you would really like War or Speed. They are a lot of fun."

"Yeah? It might be nice to know how to play some different ones. Maybe one day I'll actually be pretty good," Jamie replied, smiling at Nightmare before he decided to lean in a little bit, just nearly resting against him but leaving enough space so they weren't quite touching, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.

Nightmare did not miss the sudden much closer proximity. His cheeks flushed brightly and he lifted his eyes to look at the ceiling, wringing the hem of his shirt in his hands as he mentally told himself that he was a professional and he had to be able to not give in to the fluttering feelings in his chest. He nodded and replied, "Yeah. I would love to teach you some games and I am sure you will catch on in no time. It will be lots of fun."

Jamie didn't miss the signs of nervousness. He knew Nightmare well enough at this point, and besides, he acted much the same way on their first few dates, even clumsily knocking a tray of dishes out of the server's hands by accident. Jamie scooched a little closer, leaning just slightly into Nightmare and replying, "It will be. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?"

Keef glanced back up at Jamie, flushing all the brighter as the human closed more of the gap between them and he responded with a timid smile, "Not really. I was just planning on spending some time with you. I do not have much in the way of work right now because even though I was gone for two years I am still, technically, on the two-month sabbatical that I took from my practice. Not on probation anymore though. The Tallests are considering it 'time served' and just wrote off my charges."

"Well, I'm really glad to hear that your probation is finished. You can come and go as you like now, yeah?" Jamie asked, smiling down at Nightmare and humming as he snuggled a bit closer. "It's funny. We'd always talked about taking a vacation together and we were always so busy with our work we never got the chance."

Nightmare chuckled softly, bringing one hand up to his hair nervously, accidentally knocking off his cap as Jamie pressed himself against him and replied, "I ah. Oops. Yeah. I guess I can. You know… leave if I wanted to." He took a shaky breath before flashing a bright smile up at the human and asking, "If you were able to take a vacation, where would you want to go?"

Jamie giggled, plucking up the fallen cap and putting it on himself, sending his fluff of brown hair into his eyes before resting his head on Nightmare's shoulder. "I dunno. Somewhere warm I think. Cocktails by the pool. Or maybe somewhere historical and fabulous like Prague or Rome, or maybe Berlin. What about you? I guess with space travel that opens up a ton of options, huh?" He asked, reaching down to pick up one of Keef's hands in both of his own, turning it over to trace lines on his palm and examining his green nail polish.

"I like warm places," Nightmare replied distractedly as Jamie leaned against him and took his hand. He cleared his throat softly and added, "I ah. I have always wanted to go to Ireland. I mean. Not exactly warm. But I like the green. Or ah. Rome would be nice, yeah."

"A holiday in Rome would be incredible," Jamie agreed, falling silent for a few moments and turning to look at Nightmare, catching the blush on his cheeks against the stunning green of his eyes. It was like being with him took away all the worry and difficulty he had been dealing with. Leaning forward, he cautiously pressed a chaste kiss against Nightmare's cheek before pulling back again.

Nightmare was not certain he could blush any harder until the instant that he absolutely did. He shifted his hand to touch the spot on his cheek with the tips of his fingers, letting out a soft sigh. He looked up at the human with his brow furrowed and said softly, barely above a whisper, "I… I'm a monster, James. You don't… you don't want to do this."

Jamie blinked a couple of times at Nightmare's words, raising a hand up to caress his cheek with a slightly concerned expression. "Keef… I have seen you. I know what you are. But more importantly, I know who you are. And even more importantly than that, I don't think anyone, especially now, has any right to tell me what I do and don't want. And I want to kiss you."

Nightmare sighed softly, leaning into the touch but averting his eyes at the words. He wrung his shirt in his hands and said quietly, "I want to. I have missed you so much. I have wanted nothing more than to kiss you for such a long time. I..  I worry though. That with everything you have gone through… that I might be taking advantage."

Jamie's expression softened at Nightmare's words, taking the boy's hands in his own to stop their wringing, squeezing them tightly. "All I've wanted since that day I left the Massive was to see you again. And I thought maybe if… Maybe if I had a stupid little rebound fling that I could come back to you clear headed."

He sighed and looked away, resting into Nightmare slightly. "But it got out of hand. It's my fault, I shouldn't have - I should've been more confident in myself that you were what I wanted. You've always been what I wanted."

Nightmare did not stop Jamie from taking his hands and slowly turned his eyes upward to look at him as he spoke, though he had the general look of a dog begging for scraps or affection.  He swallowed thickly, his mouth feeling incredibly dry as he asked softly, "Are… are you sure?"

"Yes," Jamie replied, leaning in just slightly and looking into Nightmare's eyes. "Yes, I'm absolutely positive. Please. Kiss me."

The redhead brought his bottom lip between his teeth at the answer. It was the answer that he definitely wanted to hear. The one that he had hoped for and fantasized about for years. He had a hard time though, shaking away the fear that he was doing more harm than good.

But, even with the nagging fear Nightmare pressed forward to gently catch Jamie's lips, kissing him softly and sweetly. He brought his hand up to rest against the human's jaw and he could not help but to purr softly into it.

Jamie immediately melted into the kiss, leaning forward to return it just as softly and letting his eyes slip closed. He let out a happy hum, sliding his hands up to grasp Nightmare by the suspenders, smiling just slightly into the kiss. It was everything he had wanted, too. It was like everything settled back into place.

Nightmare had forgotten how soft Jamie was, how sweet he tasted and how perfectly they seemed to fit together. He wanted to give into all the feelings that he had managed to bury down deep for so long, to tousle with the human in the sheets and feel him more thoroughly. But instead be gave a few more very soft kisses and pulled away just enough to say, "I missed you so much, Jamie."

Jamie whined when Nightmare pulled back from the kiss, but he was still smiling when he replied, "I missed you too Keef. I really, really missed you." He leaned forward again, kissing Nightmare a little more deeply, letting his hands slide up along his chest. His lips were perfect, all that he had been craving for months.

Nightmare gave a soft moan into the kiss, pressing forward to meet the enthusiasm of Jamie's kiss with equal exuberance. He could not really believe that this is how this situation ended up panning out. He had spent so long trying to get over this boy. He didn't even dare imagine that someday Jamie would want to take him back.

The redhead pulled away again, catching his breath but managing to say, "James. I think. Um. I think we should slow down. A little… can… can we maybe just. I dunno. Cuddle, maybe?"

Jamie was flushed when Nightmare pulled away from him, panting lightly. He looked to the redhead with a smile, nodding and holding his arms open for Nightmare to snuggle up to him. "It… Yes. It's probably a good idea. To slow down. C'mere."

Nightmare let out a sigh of relief when Jamie agreed to slow down. It was, by no means, because he did not want this. But he did not want to fuck this up. The redhead moved into the space created by the boy's outstretched arms, pressing his head against his chest and purring softly at the sweet contact.

He let his hands rest on Jamie's chest, fingers flexing softly in the fabric of his sweater much like a cat kneading. Nightmare glanced up at the boy and quietly said, "Thank you, Jamie."

"I should be thanking you, Keef," Jamie hummed, wrapping his arms around Nightmare and lifting a hand to pet his hair. "I'd be so lost without you. I'm sorry I'm still… A little loopy. It's worse when I'm alone." He leaned down, pressing a kiss into Keef's hair. "There are very few things that make sense right now, or that feel right. But you do."

Nightmare refrained from stating that a monster making sense and feeling right spoke volumes about the boy's mental state. While he felt it was true, it was unhelpful.

Instead, he snuggled close to him, hiding his face in the thick fabric of his sweater and purred softly into the crook of his neck as he whispered, "You do not have to be alone anymore."

Jamie held Nightmare firmly, reveling in finally being close to him again and allowing himself what he’d been wanting all this time. “I know,” he replied quietly, not sure that there was anything else left to say. He let himself go quiet, just enjoying Nightmare’s company and the closeness of him, the way his hands felt against his chest.

[sassysweetcollegegirls]

I’ll Love you No Matter What pt 1

The team had stopped on a small planet after battle to gather some supplies and Keith had wandered through the forest looking at different plants when he bumped into her.She was small and dressed in robes that reminded Keith faintly of Haggar. Her hair was white and she looked at him with two white eyes. 

“Who are you?” He asked quickly drawing his Bayard 

“ Have you no respect for a Lady?” She singsonged her voice was sweet and lilting 

“ I have plenty of respect...I just don’t know you.” Keith countered 

“ Fair enough. I am E.” 

“E?” 

“Yes. You seek answers do you not?” She singsonged 

“Yes,but how do yo-”

“E, has knowledge beyond this galaxy.” Keith remained still listening as she came close touching the tip of his Bayard with her pale fingers. 

“What do you want E?” He asked his voice level

“ I wish to give you a gift. For saving my Planet.” She was humming now swaying touching his sword and Keith could hear his radio cackling to life. Paladins were looking for him, wondering where he was. They had only landed so everyone could stretch, and Hunk could gather supplies. Shiro needed to talk to the Locals and that had left everyone to their own devices and Keith here with singsong E.

He pushed the withdraw button on his Bayard and hung it from his belt but he kept a tight grip on his knife. Whoever E was she hadn’t harmed him yet and Lance was always yelling at him about being nicer to the locals. 

“Quickly then.” He muttered 

Then her hand was on his neck and Keith felt nervous but all she did was draw something on his neck in paint. It dried instantly and then E was walking away. 

“MULLET WHERE ARE YOU?”

“KEITH THIS ISN”T FUNNY.” 

“Does this mean I get to go through his stuff.” Are all things that Keith hears when he slides the Helmet back onto his head. 

“No one is touching my stuff.”  Keith warned 

“ Keith! Thank god what if something had eaten you or a GALRA had attacked you-”  Hunk babled nervously 

“Easy Buddy I’m sure Mullet just got lost taking a piss.” Lance teased and Keith had to bite his tongue. Every part of him wanted to respond with something witty and sarcastic but he’d been trying not to lately. He’d been trying to be nicer to Lance and trying to make it less combative. 

“Glad your back Keith. What was the hold up?”  Shiro asked as he sat down in the cockpit of Red. 

“ Just got a little lost... Like Lance said.” 

“Alright team. Let’s get back to the Castle and get some food.” 

***

Dinner was uneventful. Everyone was their normal boastful selves. Keith kept itching at the spot on his neck where E left the Ink. When he got in the shower’s to bath though he couldn’t find the mark. His hands were free of the ink and he looked at his hands puzzled 

“Mullet are you going to take forever tonight?” Lance challenged joining him at the sinks a towel wrapped around his waists.  Keith couldn’t help but look at Lance. He was lean and beautiful. His shoulders were muscular and there was this scar on his arm and some freckles across his back. It was beautiful and breathtaking -and so out of Keith’s league it wasn’t fair. 

“Not as long as your dumbass.” He retorted his heart cracking slightly 

“At least I can’t see all my pores in the mirror after I shower.” Lance snorted knowing that Keith was mocking his beauty routine.  

Keith drew himself up and went into the shower stalls making the water as hot as possible but he could still hear the call of Lance,” You should let me give you one sometime.” 

The water was warm and Keith was wondering what it would feel like to have Lance’s skin touch his so carefully. To have him look and not flinch away or say something about his mullet. He lathered himself in soap as Lance stepped into the stall next to him It was hard not to look at him past the screen with his hands in his hair and his back turned. His ass was full pressed up against the screen while he waited for the water to warm,” MULLET STOP TAKING ALLTHE HOT WATER” Lance hissed the cold water splashing on the tiles 

Keith smiled and turned down the heat knowing he’d have to share. The water in the other stall warmed up quickly then. Lance sighed content,” You know what I miss Keith?” 

“If you say Ulta I swear to god I will come over there an-” 

“ I miss rain, and umbrella’s and those movies where people end up kissing in the rain...” 

Keith looked up surprised to see Lance posed by the screen water running in his hands looking at it like it was some kind of puzzle. Keith’s heart beat faster The screen wasn’t helping him leave much to the imagination. So he closed his eyes and took a deep breath imagining Lance standing in the rain waiting for a kiss it filled his heart with longing. 

“Hey Lance...”

“Yeah?”

“ I’d...If..If you want...I’ll try one of your facials..” Keith offered turning off the water all his soap washed away.  

There was silence as the curtain flew open and Lance burst into his stall eyes wide with excitement. Keith had just enough time to cover himself with a towel,”  Are you being serious?” Keith could see the freckles in on his face and the blue in his eyes. There was soap in his hair and everything about him was warm and beautiful and wet and Keith held his breath not trusting his voice he nodded softly. “Mullet you aren’t going to regret one minute of it. I’ll come by your room after I’m done here.” Lance squeeled going back to his shower allowing Keith to breath and retreat to the drier room. 

Once dressed in his favorite tank and sweats he picks up the little piles he has in his room and straightens out the books. He knows it’s probably not going to matter but he wants the space to at least look a little bit neat. His neck is Itchy so he scrapes at it casually. He’s making his bed when his door opens to Lance and Hunk. 

Keith’s heart falls a little because he thought the experience would just be between him and Lance. He loves Hunk but he wasn’t expecting the big yellow paladin to come in to his room and set down an armful of stuff on his desk. 

“Hey Keith. Sorry Lance didn’t have enough hands to carry all the products he needed to make the masks so he asked me to help.” 

“Yeah I realized I require four arms instead of two for all this stuff, don’t worry though he’s not gunna stay. “ 

Keith just watches as the two organize and then Hunk sweeps him into a hug and whispers in his ear,” Lance is so excited about this. Thank you Keith.” And then the yellow Paladin is gone and it’s just Lance in Keith. 

Lance looks at Keith and the at his mullet,” Your going to need to tie your hair up.” 

“I don’t have a hair tie” He reasons showing the blue paladin his wrist. 

“ I do, come here and I'll put it up.” Lance says tarnishing hair ties from the pocket of his robe which hangs over his shorts and t-shirt perfectly. 

“Why do you have hair ties?” Keith grumbles nervousness settling in his stomach as he steps forward letting Lance sit him in a chair and gather his hair in his hands. 

“I give Allura facials all the time.” Lance respond happily once theres a happy little mess of a ponytail on Keith’s head,” Oh my god. I wish I had a camera, this is to cute.” 

“You don’t get to speak about this to another living soul.” Keith threatens. His fingers touch the little pom softly and he crosses his arms trying to look tough. 

“Whatever you say Keef. So I’m gunna use this -oh god where did I-” Lance begins digging through the product that he has set on Keith’s desk and Keith watches as he leans. His body is so sleek and soft and Keith wonders if he does this kind of thing every night “HERE IT IS!” He pulls a big black bottle out of the mix and shows it to Keith who raises his eyebrows.

“CHARCOAL MASK.” He reads out loud and then he carefully looks at Lance who is smiling. 

“Yup. So basically I’m gunna smear this all over your face and then It’s going to sit for a little bit and then we peel it all off and it pulls all the stuff out of your face.” Lance says excited squeezing a large black glob onto his hand and Keith swallows watching as he dips his fingers and then looks at Keith’s face. “Close your eyes.” 

Keith obeys and he feel’s Lance’s cool fingers grip his chin and then a wet sticky substance right above his eyebrow. Lance is so gentle as he sweeps his product covered fingers across Keith’s forehead and around his eyes and over his nose. Keith doesn’t want to admit it but he craves the way Lance’s fingers touch his face. So soft but still full of purpose and meaning there is no fear in it.  

“Your good at being still. Usually Allura is twitching or Hunks laughing because it tickles.” 

“Do you do this often with them?” 

“ As often as they will allow me... Most the time it’s just me.  I gave one to Shiro once and he fell asleep in the middle.” 

“ Why is it getting stiff?” Keith tries to reach up and touch it and Lance slaps his hands away lightly

“Don’t touch it. The stiffer it gets the better that means it’s pulling the stuff out of your pores.”  Lance singsongs and Keith opens his eyes to look at him. He has his fingers coated in black and hes trying to apply his own black mask which looks difficult. 

“C-can I help?” he asks and Lance stops to look at him. He doesn’t look angry he looks at the bottle and then at Keith.

“Don’t get it in my eyes or on my eyebrows okay?” Lance warns handing him the bottle after he wipes his hands on one of the wet towels he brought with him. He bends down and Keith spreads a big glob on his fingers. The product is cold and dark,” make sure it’s thick.” Lance instructs as Keith carefully dabs a little under the blue Paladins eye and then spreads it. The stuff is harder to spread than the weird space butter that Hunk makes with Katlnekers milk.  Lance’s skin is softer than his and he tried to be as gentle as possible. By the time Lance’s face mask is finished Keith’s mask is starting to itch. Lance looks at him simpatheticly. 

“Your not going to like this part.” Lance says as her picks at a spot on Keiths chin gently where the mask has begun to peel. 

“Why?” Keith asks noticing that Lance’s mask is tacky granted not as tacky as his but still tacky. 

“ Because this part hurts.” 

“ What?” 

“It hurts Keith.” 

“What do you mean it h-” and then Lance just rips the damned thing up with one solid go. Keith hisses touching his face in pain and  looking at Lance in pure shock.

He grabs hold of both corners of Lance’s mask and yanks. Lance gasps and moans like the big baby he is,” NOT FAIR.” 

“YOU STARTED IT.”

“I TOLD YOU IT HURT.” 

“SO.”

“SO YOU CAN’T GO YANKING OTHER MENS FACEMASKS OFF.” 

And then Keith was laughing because Lance looked ridiculous only half of his mask had come off and the other half was still sitting under his eyes. He had one hand on his hip and one in the mixing bowl where he was making the second mask they would wear to bed. 

Keith couldn’t help the smile on his face as he took his fingers and carefully piked off the rest of Lance’s mask.  Lance applied his mask and then Keith applied Lance’s and they washed the bowl and Keith helped him carry the supplies back to his room. 

“Keith?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for being a cool friend.” Lance murmured as he wrapped an arm around the Red paladins neck and Keith’s heart leapt through his chest hugging the blue paladin hoping that maybe they could do this weird face mask thing again sometime. 

“Night Lance.” 

“Night Keith.” 

***

When Keith woke up the next morning he knew he had to wash off the mask. Part of him was terrified that perhaps it was all over his sheets but the stuff had remained plastered to his face as Lance had promised and he smiled remembering how Lance had smiled at him and hugged him goodnight.

The room was dark and Keith could feel his hair on his back. Had it always been that long though? 

Keith wasn’t going to argue though it was probably a trick of the mind that happened when he was sleepy. He stuck his hands under the water scrubbing carefully and all the green stuff fell away as Keith was scrubbing he noticed something. Something really not normal. 

His tank top was filled with what looked to be breast. He blinked and rubbed his eyes and looked again, they were still there jiggling slightly at any movement he made. He flicked on the light to his room and looked in the mirror. 

“What in the quiznack.” what stared back at Keith was defiantly not KEITH but it was the female equivalent of him. Her eyes were the same color and her hair was long the bangs were drawn up into this tiny pom on top of her head that Keith recognized from the facial last night and she was lean and beautiful and she had boobs and she seemed to be swimming in the white tank and sweats she wore. 

He touched his hair confused because last night it had been mullet short and the pompom had been fluffier. Then his hands trailed down his thin waist to his sweats, there was no way He had turned into She overnight. He looked into his shorts panicked but there was no penis to grasp. He ran his fingers down his thigh shakily and over his privates sure enough there was two mounds and a slit , not a set of testicles.... SHIT. 

He lifted his shirt the panic increasing and he could see his breasts they were rather large but not unpleasant. They weren’t like glue on fakes... SHIT SHIT 

He needed to find Shiro. 

Keith pulled his shirt down and tried to get the pompom out of his bangs it took him a minute. He knew he it was early no one was up. He ran down the hall hair flying behind him. 

Reaching Shiro’s door he pounded as hard as he could manage. “SHIRO. SHIRO IT’S KEITH.OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE.” But the voice sounded nothing like his own it was soft and girlish and needy on the verge of tears. 

The door opened to Shiro who was shirtless in his sweats rubbing his eye,”Keith it’s 4am what kind of emergency could you possibly be- OH. MY. GOD.” 

Keith is trying not to feel self conscious because he knows how weird this looks. A girl showing up at any door at 4am claiming an emergency means business but for them to claim their the red paladin of Voltron. Now thats looney. 

“Who are you? Where is Keith? How did you get on this ship?” Shiro’s eyes are wide looking around the hallway. “ I am going to kill him.” 

“SHIRO I AM KEITH.”  Keith whines and Shiro looks at him puzzled so Keith says the one thing he knows no one else knows about Shiro,” Before you go to sleep you sing the teapot song!” 

Shiro looks puzzled and then Keith starts to sing it softly,” I’m a little tea pot short and sto-” then there is a warm hand over his mouth and he looks down both ends of the hall to make sure no one is coming before he drags Keith into his room. 

Keith sighs in relief because A) he’s out of the hallway and B) Shiro seems to know what to do when these types of situations arise. 

“ Keith what the hell is going on?” 

“ I GOT BOOBS SHIRO.” Keith scream whispers as he lifts up his shirt and shows his brother the breast under his shirt. 

Shiro panicked pulls down the shirt before he can get that far though and looks at Keith serious,” Keith, You can’t just go around FLASHING people and telling them you got BOOBS.” 

“REALLY SHIRO, Then please explain to me how I receive one facial in my life and I wake up and I have no dick.” Keith Drops his pants and Shiro covers his eyes. 

“Pull your pants up and calm down please.” 

“CALM DOWN? I lose the one eyed snake of brotherhood and you tell me to calm down!!!” Keith is hysterical pulling the pants he was wearing back up. 

“Keith take a deep breath. Well figure this out...Did anything else happen yesterday beside the facial?” Shiro is trying to be rational and reasonable for all of this. Keith tries to think past the warm happy glow of Lance and the facial and then he remembers. 

“E.” 

“E?” 

“While we were on that planet this lady in the woods made this symbol on my neck. I came home and it was gone though. She called herself ‘E’ “ Keith says moving his long hair to touch the spot on his neck. 

“Let me see. Is that a Tatoo?” Shiro asks his voice calm as touches the ink that apparently has reappeared. 

“IT CAME BACK?!?” 

“What do you mean it came back.” 

“I mean it was gone I showered yesterday and It was gone.” Keith wailed his voice honey sweet something he is not used to. He is used to the musky grumble that he associates as his. 

“ Were gunna have to ask Coran...” 

All of a sudden Keith looks down at himself and his breast and the thin waist and he’s afraid. “ What if they don’t like me anymore.” 

“Keith I don’t really think anyones going to care that your a girl.” Shiro reasons. 

“But...Look at me...”  Keith murmurs and Shiro sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“ I’ll wake up Allura and we’ll get you a bra, but your stunning Keith really... Just don’t go taking your shirt off willy nilly anymore okay. You have to practice modesty. For now take my sweater... “  Shiro hands him one of the Large zip up black hoodies he has and Keith puts it on hiding in the sleeves.  Every fiber of his being is worried about what everyone else will think. 

[gertlushgaming]

Sakeworld Review (PlayStation 5)

 For this Sakeworld Review, where Something ain’t right in La Brea – punks everywhere who got no respect for anyone or anything. But the more I fight ‘em off, the weirder things get. Am I tripping, or is that dude some kind of rabbit man? Welcome to Sakeworld, a beat ‘em up where rappers fight punks and aliens to keep the streets safe. Play as Rappers Trippie Redd, Chief Keef, D Savage, Rucci, or Yung Bans to save Earth. Featuring the late Jack Phoenix’s hand-drawn art, intense fighting, a fire MP3 Player, and some funny $3it… Sakeworld’s like nothing you’ve ever played before!

Sakeworld Review Pros:

- Decent hand-drawn graphics. - 670.4MB download size. - Platinum trophy. - Own in-game achievements. - Optional tutorial. - Side scroller beat 'em up gameplay. - Two game modes - boss rush, and new game/continue. - Five characters each with a unique ability and damage/charge rate stats - D Savage, Chief Keef, Trippie Redd, Rucci, and Young bans. - Three difficulties - Easy, normal, and hard. - 2.5D perspective. - Break items like crates and bins to get drops and food for health. - Fast-paced combat. - Comic book-style shout-outs for in-game conversations. - Power-ups vary from calling in a dog or a plague doctor to fire and Super punches. - Big boss encounters. - On the character select you get a brief description of each rapper. - The score is achieved by fighting and collecting items, your current rank is shown, and how close you are to the next one. - Local leaderboards for both modes and each difficulty. - Health bar system with food to replenish. - The art is crazy good and sets the theme. - Hip-hop themed from the atmosphere to the music and menus. - The weapon wheel allows you to quickly swap between them, drop them, and go back to just fists and kicks. - MP3 allows you to listen to brilliant soundtracks, sort/filter, and make up a favorite list. - Each stage has three objectives that earn stars and the time and score go to the rank. - Cops will drop health items for you. - Kiss females, that's it. - Some truly whacky levels and enemies like aliens and stoners. - Bonus levels can be found for more cash and score. - Hitting enemies causes cash to fly out. - Game over will trigger a random mini-game that allows you to try and win back a continuation. Sakeworld Review Cons: - Had the tutorial glitch out a few times and I died on the text pop-up screen. - Takes a bit of getting used to weapon management. - Dealing with a group of enemies can be tough at times. - Every level plays the same from the cops mid-way, the cars you need to blow up, to the boss at the end. - The music repeats far too often and any tracks without words are dull. - Very repetitive. - The trophies are stingy and take way too long with most of them being that you need to complete the game on all difficulties with all characters. - No replay value. - Last track of the story. - No real voice work. - Doesn't have online leaderboards. - Spomgey boss fights. - Doesn't really have much variety. - Having crates just spawn in front of you all the time kind of Ruins the fun. - It's more about power-ups and guns rather than fighting. - Can be hard to make out who is an enemy and who is just a bystander. Related Post: Tiny Troopers Global Ops Review (PlayStation 5) Sakeworld: Official website. Developer: Sake  Publisher: Sake  Store Links -  PlayStation Read the full article

[sheilacwall]

Kanye West & Numerology as Jesus the King Hits #1

Kanye West & Numerology as Jesus the King Hits #1

Has the album been well received? I’d say a resounding yes. Here are the numbers.

Jesus is King Record Sales

Jesus the King just debuted at #1 in the US, Canadian, Australian, NZ & Norwegian charts whilst entering at #2 in the UK & Irish charts.

Jesus Is King opened at number one on the US Billboard 200 with 264,000 album-equivalent units, of which 109,000 were pure album sales.

The chart-topping position stood as the sixth time that West did so with an album in the 2010s, tying him for second place with fellow rapper Future and Canadian singer Justin Bieber for most number one albums of the decade. The album simultaneously entered atop the US Top Christian Albums and Top Gospel Albums charts.

All 11 of Kanye West’s songs debuted on the latest Hot 100:

Rank, Title

No. 7, “Follow God” No. 17, “Closed on Sunday” No. 19, “Selah” No. 23, “On God” No. 33, “Everything We Need” feat. Ty Dolla $ign & Ant Clemons No. 36, “God Is” No. 37, “Use This Gospel” feat. Clipse & Kenny G No. 44, “Every Hour,” feat. Sunday Service Choir No. 50, “Water,” feat. Ant Clemons No. 59, “Hands On,” feat. Fred Hammond No. 62, “Jesus Is Lord”

West is among the most critically acclaimed musicians of the 21st century and one of the best-selling music artists of all time with over 140 million records sold worldwide.

He has won a total of 21 Grammy Awards, making him one of the most awarded artists of all time and the most Grammy-awarded artist of his generation.

Kanye’s Evolution

Kanye is a year older than me and like me, he had to move to another country as a child due to his parents’ job. For him it was China at age 10 years old as his mother found a teaching job abroad, for me it was the USA at age 9.

It seems like he had a similar problem I had at school with the same outcome.

“China was a time where me and my mom spent the most time together, we spent a year together, and she used to homeschool me. I was in school and I wasn’t doing so good, but it was actually because I was bored and after she homeschooled me I did so good on the tests they put me two grades above in a lot of different courses.”

I read that before Donda West passed away, his mother had recounted tales of a young Kanye break dancing on the streets for yangrouchuan (lamb skewers) for small change.

Mrs. West said that although she found the language difficult, her son found it amusing that the word ma meant both “mother” and “horse” depending on how it was pronounced. “He played that to the hilt,” she recalled in her book.

I remember using the word “rubber” in America, when I’d made a mistake writing something down and the kids laughing. Rubber means “condom” in America and the word you need is “eraser”. I think I played that to the hilt after that as well.

You probably know that Tupac’s parents were Black Panthers. You might be surprised to know that Ray West, Kanye’s dad, was also an ex-Black Panther and is now a Christian counsellor.

So, it is not that surprising that Kanye is following in his father’s footsteps away from his rebellious side to a more Christian role now that he is a father of four. In his interview with Zane Lowe, he says he’s drawing inspiration for a more secular role due to his daughter’s love of the Church.

The Number 27

Jesus is King clocks in at 27 min and 4 secs. Why?

What is the meaning behind number 27?

27 is an interesting number and it is the perfect cube of 3 x 3 x 3. Dark matter is assumed to make up 27% of the universe and also makes up 90% of the brain (grey matter).

27 just happens to be the number of books in the New Testament & there are also 27 Nakṣatra or lunar mansions in Hindu astrology.

Number 27 is the atomic number of cobalt & the atomic weight of the only stable isotope of aluminum. Both forms of these metals are used in dentistry. Kanye had his mouth wired shut after a car accident in 2003 after which he recorded, “Through the Wire”.

27 is also the number of bones in the hand – See “Hands On” below.

From Affinity Numerology:

The numerology number 27 is about philanthropy and compassion in a cooperative atmosphere.

The number 27 is a wonderful number. The energies it represents makes the number kind-hearted, tolerant, intelligent, a team worker, and so very much wanting to see humanity better off than it is.

27 endeavors to inspire others to support humanitarian groups and organizations, using its diplomatic skills and enticing them with a vision of an ideal. The groups and organizations are carefully chosen for their effectiveness.

A sense of fulfillment for 27 comes with others adopting its sense of idealism and actively helping to achieve that end.

The 27 essence contains:

the 9’s essence, such as being non-judgemental, humanitarian, and tolerant, plus a generous dose of the 2’s essence, such as cooperation, relationships, and diplomacy, and a dose of the 7’s essence, such as introspection, study, and spirituality.

The result is a unique essence.

https://affinitynumerology.com/number-meanings/number-27-meaning.php

According to the Secret of the Tarot…

Angel number 27 is a sign from your angels concerning your soul mission or calling in life. Our guardian angels are always there to provide us with the support and inspiration necessary to live up to our highest potential.

Angel number 27 is all about living a purpose-driven life. When you see this potent angel number appearing in your daily life, know that your angels and the Ascended Masters are telling you to have faith and trust that you are on the right path.

https://thesecretofthetarot.com/angel-number-27/

On Finding God

First scare: car crash

Kanye was taken to the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, mentioned in the song, Through the Wire, as “the same hospital where Biggie Smalls died,” and had his jaw wired to his face in reconstructive surgery. Two weeks after being admitted to hospital, he recorded the song at the Record Plant Studios with his jaw still wired shut. Consequence recalls West started rapping the lyrics to the song three days after the accident.

The song’s title refers to the wires used to hold his broken jaw together. When asked about how the incident changed his music, West stated:

Well, the only thing this accident’s saying is, “I am about to hand you the world, just know at any given time I can take it away from you.” To nearly lose your life, to nearly lose your mouth, your voice, your whole face, as a rapper…and I had to be on TV! My face looks crazy to me now… But I have to just thank God for the situation that I am in… “Through The Wire” is the worst thing that could’ve possibly happen to me, and now it’s obviously the best thing. Look how it exploded!

Second scare: Trump Backlash

Backlashes over his erratic behaviour, the anniversary of his mum’s death, his wife getting robbed, his comments on slavery & his support of Trump all proved to be too much emotionally and put him in a hospital. No-one knows quite for sure what happened in the hospital, but he has emerged as a born-again Christian.

There are many, many problems with taking the bible literally and Kanye proves another one in the video above when he talks about taking his own eye out.

I googled it & it looks like this is from Matthew 5:29 and concerns “adultery”:

New International Version “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

Selah

Selah is likely to mean “to praise” or “pause and reflect upon what has just been said.” Lauryn Hill used this name for her daughter.

“Selah” is the name of a city from the time of David and Solomon.

In Islam and in Arabic generally, Salah (also pronounced Ṣalāt) means prayer, and Selah means connection. Both words come from the same original root Sel which means connect.

‘Ye makes a number of references to the bible when talking about freedom from slavery in Selah.

“Closed on Sunday” makes a good point about Capitalism, but, why is he still brand name dropping a junk food store, Chic Fil-A, a fast food chicken chain?

Did he get paid to sneak this in or is he looking for sponsors?

It’s also a sneaky back reference to a line in “N***as in Paris” when he was in a different mindset. Maybe he is trying to tie a past hit record to this song. A powerful mind trick.

“She said ‘Ye can we get married at the mall? I said look you need to crawl ‘fore you ball Come and meet me in the bathroom stall And show me why you deserve to have it all (Ball so hard) that shit cray, (that shit cray) ain’t it Jay? (Ball so hard) what she order? (What she order?) Fish fillet”

“On God” is where he gets the realest, actually raps and he gives his reasons why he supports Trump�� and it comes down to… taxes & prison reform (lines highlighted in bold below).

“”How you get so much favor on your side?” “Accept Him as your Lord and Saviour,” I replied Thou shalt love thy neighbor, not divide I’ma ride, that’s on God His light shine the brightest in the dark Single mothers know they got my heart And all my brothers locked up on the yard You can still be anything you wanna be Went from one in four to one in three Thirteenth amendment, gotta end it, that’s on me He the new commander and the chief That’s on Keef, that’s on God Before the ranch, I had horses in the garage When the Forbes cover was just a mirage They had me chasin’ statues, that’s on pride “Oh my God,” Bust said that’s on Tribe When I thought the Book of Job was a job The Devil had my soul, I can’t lie Life gon’ have some lows and some highs Before the Grammy’s ever gave a nod I wore my heart on my sleeve, I couldn’t hide In ’03, they told me not to drive I bleached my hair for every time I could’ve died But I survived, that’s on God I’ve been tellin’ y’all since ’05 The greatest artist restin’ or alive That’s on L.A. Reid, that’s on Clive That’s no Jive, that’s on God Off the 350s He supplied The IRS want they fifty plus our tithe Man, that’s over half of the pie I felt dry, that’s on God That’s why I charge the prices that I charge I can’t be out here dancin’ with the stars No, I cannot let my family starve I go hard, that’s on God”

“Hands On” is another interesting record.

This is what a police office often yells whilst pulling people over for DWB – “Hands on the hood”!

‘Ye points out the unfairness of black people being thrown into prison over misdemeanors and the three strike rule. Then he calls out the 13th amendment again.

“Got pulled over, see the brights What you doin’ on the street at night? Wonder if they’re gonna read your rights Thirteenth Amendment, three strikes Made a left when I should’ve made a right Told God last time on life Told the devil that I’m going on a strike Told the devil when I see him, on sight I’ve been working for you my whole life Told the devil that I’m going on a strike I’ve been working for you my whole life Nothing worse than a hypocrite Change, he ain’t really different He ain’t even try to get permission Ask for advice and they dissed him Said I’m finna do a gospel album What have you been hearin’ from the Christians? They’ll be the first one to judge me Make it feel like nobody love me They’ll be the first one to judge me Feelin’ like nobody love me Told people God was my mission What have you been hearin’ from the Christians? They’ll be the first one to judge me Make it feel like nobody love me Make you feel alone in the dark and you’ll never see the light Man, you’re never seein’ home and you never see the domes I can feel it when I write, point of livin’ in the right If they only see the wrongs, never listen to the songs Just to listen is a fight, but you booked me for the fight It’s so hard to get along if they only see the slight From the love of religion What have you been hearin’ from the Christians? They’ll be the first one to judge me Make it seem like nobody love me I’m not tryna lead you to Visas But if I try to lead you to Jesus We get called halfway believers Only halfway read Ephesians Only if they knew what I knew, uh I was never new ’til I knew of True and living God, Yeshua The true and living God (Somebody pray for me)”

The 13th Amendment

Passed by Congress on January 31, 1865, and ratified on December 6, 1865, the 13th amendment abolished slavery in the United States and provides that “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.”

Some prisoners in eight states—Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Texas—are not paid at all for their labor in government-run facilities.

The national average for inmates receiving the least compensation for their maintenance work in these prisons is 14 cents per hour, according to the non-profit Prison Policy Initiative. The countrywide average for those receiving the most for the same type of labor is 63 cents per hour. Inmates in Minnesota and New Jersey can receive the highest hourly rate for prison maintenance jobs: $2 per hour.

Note: Kanye wants prison labourers to make his shoes. It will be interesting to see what he will pay them.

Anyway, back to the music. Kanye employs Jewish saxophonist Kenny G on “Use This Gospel”, but fortunately for Kenny, there is no mention of Jesus on the track. I wonder how much flack Kenny G will get from the Jewish fundamentalists for appearing on the track?

It’s seems to me like Kanye wants to sit back and be a director, producer and preacher now whilst letting someone else take over with the rapping and singing.

I think being a rapper was getting in the way of his “mission”. Creating a church will increase his power and wealth to get done what he wants to get done… whatever that is.

I can imagine youtube being flooded over the coming years with covers such as this. He wants his music received by a much larger audience and after watching the Dame Dash interview with Adam22, it looks like this might have all been orchestrated for a long time.

Let’s see if he continues down this path and where it leads or whether he’s still “on strike with the Devil” and will be back to his old self. It seems to me at the moment, his biggest hurdle will be getting his wife on board with this new lifestyle.

I can think of a few places Kanye will be welcome with open arms right now though, such as The Philippines.

I feel like this album is a stocking filler for later albums. He’s just testing the water to see which ones connect with the public. I’m not sure the songs on this album are strong enough to stand the test of time, but I think this is just a warm up, plus it will get major airplay in the “Bible Belt”, especially “Use This Gospel”.

The post Kanye West & Numerology as Jesus the King Hits #1 appeared first on Hip Hop World Music.

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