#like the world is soooo built but at the same time its built for my ocs!!!! i cant make a y/n outta that without so many modifications!!!!!

[vivisols]

me when I come up with the greatest fucking idea ever but its too entwined in my oc nonsense to be applicable to a y/n fic

[hnslchw]

one of these days (part 2) - Aemond Targaryen X Reader

Summary: You were young when you promised to love him. You meant it. You still do. But something unspoken has rooted itself between you—something cold, something cruel. And the deeper you fall into the life you've built, the more you wonder if love is enough to survive what comes next.

Warnings/Themes: MDNI, slight ooc plot details, BLOOD AND CHEESE, targycest, marital strain, emotional conflict, greif/loss, references to war, infidelity, child death, trauma, implied sexualcontent (non-explicit), references to violence, complicated family dynamics, psychological distress, HOTD canon violence (pls tell me if Ive forgotten anything)

Word Count: 1.1k words

Authors Note: hello guys sorry short update 😖 I'll be posting the finale soon tho soooo. Anyways please let me know what you think and if there's any mistakes and warnings I've missed.

Taglist: @immyowndefender

part 1, part 3

The skies over King’s Landing bled a gentle grey the morning Aemond left for Storm’s End.

You stood by the window with your three year old son asleep in your arms, his soft breaths fogging the pale silk of your gown. Aemond kissed your temple and rested a hand briefly on your belly—round now, full of the child you’d soon meet. He didn’t know that Lucerys would fly to the same castle that very night, didn’t imagine that the winds would turn and never let either of them return the same.

You kissed him goodbye.

By the time the raven arrived, the skies had turned violent.

The scroll fell from your fingers before you’d finished reading.

Your knees struck the cold stone with a sound that echoed. And then the pain came, sudden and slicing—your womb contracting violently as if trying to mourn in flesh what had been lost in spirit.

The maester was summoned. The servants carried you to your chamber. You tore into sheets, into your own skin, into Aemond’s name as the contractions came faster, more brutal than the first time.

“Please—please, just get him out,” you sobbed, head flung back against the pillows, drenched in sweat and blood.

Your screams echoed down the halls of the Keep, and only Helaena dared enter the room, silent and pale, gripping your hand through the waves of agony. You didn’t stop screaming until your throat was raw, your body torn, and your son’s first cry split the air like a cracked bell.

He was alive.

So were you.

But something in you had changed. You knew it the moment you held him—knew it in the way your tears wouldn’t fall and your hands trembled even after the pain had passed.

You didn’t ask where Aemond was.

You already knew.

You wrote the letter while your sons slept.

Each word carved out of you like marrow, but gentler than war.

Mother,
I beg of you, I beg for peace. I have two boys now. The second came too early—he is strong, but he cries like he remembers every scream I made to bring him here.
I do not ask for forgiveness, only an end. I married a man I loved. I thought love could be enough to quiet the fire in our blood. I was wrong.
I know what Aemond has done. I know you grieve Lucerys. I do, too.
But if you burn the world, my children will choke on its ashes. Please, Mother. End this. Before the gods take more from us.

You sealed it with trembling hands and gave it to the raven-keeper before the dawn rose. You never heard back.

The silence said everything.

Aemond found your drafts of the letter days later. His face, unreadable as he skimmed the pages—lips tightening, eyes going distant.

“You were going to run?” he asked, voice low. “Take them to her? To them?”

“I was asking for mercy,” you replied, barely able to look at him. “Not for me. For our sons.”

But the damage had already been done. That night, he did not touch you. He stood by the window instead, as far from your bed as war was from peace.

Days passed. You saw him only in passing. The coldness in his eyes, the mechanical motions of fatherhood, the shadow of loss eating at his spine—it all made him less a man, more a monument.He turned away from you that night, and the cold that settled between you never left.

🗡️

You’d tucked your firstborn into bed only hours ago—he had begged for another story, and you’d caved, his little hand curled against your wrist as you whispered tales of brave dragons and gentle kings. Your youngest slept swaddled in the cradle by your side.

You stood outside the nursery door with Helaena, the two of you sharing whispered thoughts, heads bent together as the sounds of sleep settled into the hall. She laughed at something small you said, and for a moment, you both looked through the nursery doorway as if the world might stay suspended there forever.

Then the thud came.

Soft. Dull. Then again, harder.

“Did you hear that?” you asked.

Helaena turned, eyes already narrowing. “That wasn’t—”

The door slammed open.

A scream—your scream—tore the air in two.

The men were inside the nursery before either of you could move. One held a dagger. The other, a sack. Your eyes widened as you recognized them—not their faces, but what they were here to do.

“Which one?” the fat one grunted. “You choose. Else we take both.”

“No—no, no,” you choked out, shoving past them, reaching for your son, who was sitting up in bed now, confused and blinking.

“Stay away from them!” you screamed, throwing yourself in front of the cradle and the bed, arms wide.

“Which one is the heir?” the thin one said, eyes dancing. “Come now, Lady Wife. You know how this works.”

“I’ll give you gold,” you begged. “Dragons. Anything.”

But they didn’t want dragons.

They wanted blood.

You lunged, but the fat one struck you down. You hit the ground hard, cheek splitting open on the stone.

And then it happened.

You didn’t see it—you only heard your son’s voice say, “Mother?”—before the silence fell.

A heartbeat.

Then screaming.

You scrambled forward, slipping in something wet. Blood.

Your son’s blood.

Your firstborn. Gone.

“NO!” you wailed, clutching what was left of him, sobbing like your bones would break. “No, please—he was just a boy, he was just a baby—”

The guards came. They were too late.

The men were gone.

You pressed your forehead to your child’s still-warm chest and sobbed. Helaena held you as you shattered. You don’t remember what was said after that. Only the way your world cracked in half.

Your son. Your heart.

Taken.

Not by war. Not by honor.

But in a bed where he should have been safe.

And in the marrow of your grief, you knew this had been your mother’s reply.

No ink. No words.

Just death.

[stupidlittlespirit]

Honestly I'm kind of glad you aren't going with the "my dick is the cure and we must fuck" trope. I feel like it would undercut everything you've built in to this fic- like it seems like such a silly/unserious solution?

Plus I can't imagine Ford going "Hey we need to dry hump to survive" and then following that up with "oh hey by the way now we need to ALSO fuck to survive. Surpriiiiise..." I think he'd rather die than do that to reader, out of respect for them and to save himself from embarrassment.

If somehow his dick did hold the cure, I think he'd be very professional about it and find other ways to extract what is needed besides mandatory sex. Like if it really was about getting his fluids into reader, I'd image he'd do something similar to FMT pills and just put his semen into capsules.

On a separate note, I loved this latest chapter and am soooo excited to see where it goes. I'm super intrigued with whatever is going on between those two that makes reader's skin glow on demand. Like the stuff with the hypothermia making reader susceptible to Ford's germs more than a healthy person + the blood in Ford's mouth + plus ailen bacteria/viruses all mixing together and mutating. It's all so interesting!!

I have a hunch that the mushrooms are still semi involved in this somehow, but I'm not sure. Part of me also thinks there may be a link to the brief encounters with the dragon flies, just on account of them being strange creatures in Gravity Falls. Who knows what could happen?

Anyway enough of my yapping😅 Keep up the stellar work!!!

Yeah I mean, I've worked really quite hard on this story (harder than I meant to tbh) and it would feel like a bit of a cop out to just end it on a note that's already played out.

Ford is a man of science and I want to use that to my full narrative advantage. Excessively complex biology mixed with horror has always been and will always be one of my favourite tropes in the world, especially with aspects of body horror thrown in. Beyond the aspect of consent, when you consider the gravity of the illness and its effects on Reader, I feel like it would unbalance the tone of the story to have a simple solution like that. Things don't need to be insanely complex but it requires a reasonably thought out answer to make the suffering worth it.

I also love that I've kind of convinced some of you guys to come onto this scientific crazy train with me because you bringing up FMT pills is so fun?! That's definitely very in line with the tone and with Ford's character, too.

Thank you so much for the kind words! Figuring out the process logically speaking was really difficult and challenging, but it's been a lot of fun as well. I originally started with the idea that was inspired from Base12's fic about Ford having a changed gut microbiome but as it went on, I realised I needed a way to make the bacteria harder to transfer. If it was solely a case that it existed in his gut then it would have been much too easy to transfer to random parties and considering that it's a reasonably drastic illness, that wouldn't have worked. Too many people would have been at risk. So I needed to find a way to make it work from my original plan and develop it into something more complicated, hence the microscopic tears in his stomach lining being a pathway to his blood. Then I had to figure out how to transfer it from his blood to Reader's. I had to adapt a lot and figuring out the route it took was quite difficult, hence why it took extra time to figure that out. So I'm very pleased that people are on board with it all!

The reasoning behind the bioluminescence will be revealed in the next chapter! While biolume is briefly mentioned in the same Base12 fic and that definitely inspired me, I actually originally started with that feature because I needed a rash that would show up on all skin colours to keep things inclusive. I had planned for Reader to get sick with something body horror-esque right from the start and wanted there to be a rash, but I have light skin and realised halfway through brainstorming that rashes are naturally harder to pick up on darker skin, so I had to re-work it and go backwards from there, but I'm quite happy with where I ended up! I'm very excited to reveal where it comes from :)

[picaroroboto]

I've been wanting for a little while to talk about Pandaemonium, and about Hermes, and what I think these two topics have to do with each other, so here goes. The whole time I was playing the story in Pandae, I kept thinking that I wish I could tell Hermes about all this. For one, because Hermes expresses that he feels he's the only one emotionally suffering, yet here is Erichthonios also clearly going through some shit, so maybe they could find some sort of solidarity together.

For two, because I feel Pandae proves Hermes right in his criticisms of the Ancient world. It's essentially every single flaw of their world in microcosm! Let me try to explain:

To start, let's review Hermes and his problems:

This is from the conversation with him after you show him the Elpis flower changing color for you. He expresses the sympathy he feels for creations, and how being forced to put them down for the sake of the star puts him in this ethical crisis. The entire Ancient world is built around this idea of "for the sake of the star" at the expense of all else, including the lives of their creations and their own individual emotions. Because of this, Hermes feels all the more isolated, as if he's the only one who ever feels bad or questions the foundation of their society.

There is something very, very twisted about the fact that Pandaemonium lies geographically below Elpis, the Hell to its symbolic Eden or Heaven. At the very moment Hermes is crying over having to put down dangerous creations, even more dangerous creations are being kept alive in a hellish gothic prison replete with chains and cages.

As I traveled through Pandaemonium, I also kept thinking "Why is it a prison?" Why does such a place even need to exist? As we find out in Anabaseios, the concept of it being a place to research dangerous creations is a cover story, it's more or less Athena's personal laboratory for her to pursue her goal of godhood. I've seen people praise Athena for being a more shallow and simple villain than Emet-Selch for example, but she's not just a megalomaniac:

"I am no different from our peers" is soooo telling. Her obsession with remaking mankind in her image isn't just a selfish madness, it's the ideals of the Ancients, their obsession with making perfect creations for the sake of the star, taken to it's furthest and most insane conclusion! (also note the irony in her belief that a goddess would remake the species better, when Hydaelyn, the only true goddess in the setting, chose to preserve them as they are. Arguably even making them worse by Sundering).

So Athena takes her duty to the star way too far, Lahabrea sees that she's become a danger to the star for it, and kills her, then cuts off the Hephiastos side of himself - another example of how ruthless the Ancients can be and how they justify anything for the sake of the star. Because the Ancients also place a low importance on emotion, he never talks to Erichthonios about Athena. Feeling neglected by his father and curious about his mother, Erich is lead deeper into Pandaemonium and made even more vulnerable to Athena's manipulations. So even if it was one woman's madness that spawned the action in Pandae, the other flaws of Ancient society serve to perpetuate and exacerbate it.

It's also worse mentioning that for Pandae being a prison for dangerous creations, you actually fight more transformed Ancients and corrupted Warders than you do actual animals. As my brother put it in his own meta, Pandae isn't a case of "inmates running the asylum" as much as it is the power that the Warders wield over their creations corrupting them. Athena is indirectly behind the Warder's transformations, but she also took advantage of vulnerabilities that were already there, like Hesperos's fixation on Lahabrea.

And the same obsession with perfect creations for the sake of the star, the abuse of the power over life and death, continues to characterize the Ancients after the Sundering, with the way Emet and the Ascians ruthlessly Rejoin Shards in order to bring back their "perfect" world. But what Elpis and Pandaemonium prove is that the idea of the Ancient world as a paradise is little more than Emet's grief and nostalgia talking. Hermes may have triggered the Final Days, but I feel the blame for destroying "paradise" doesn't lie entirely on him - his crisis was layered on top of myriad flaws with the world he lived in, flaws he felt he didn't have the freedom to talk about because everyone else believed the world was perfect.

Any world where people can't question the foundation of their society is very far from perfect. A world where people ruthlessly wield power over others, both creations and other people, in favor of a grand goal is no paradise. A world in which prisons exist is no paradise.

If my tone started to sound a bit vengeful there, it's because I sympathize deeply with Hermes, and can't help but feel a bit vindicated on his behalf when I think that Pandaemonium proves him right and Emet-selch wrong. But even after I've spent all this time tearing into the Ancient world, I feel like I have to remind both myself and any readers that the point of the conflict between the Ancient and Sundered world in FF14 isn't to objectively compare them and decide which is better and which is worse. Such pragmatism would be in-character for an Ancient, but we don't have to subscribe to their views. Think about it - even if the Ancient world was proven to be a true paradise, we'd still choose our broken world over it, because returning would cost too many lives, and because we love our world not because it is perfect but because it is ours.

The choice is just made a little easier by all this proof that their world was never as perfect as they said it was.

[milktearosethorn]

Things I've read and liked since starting to read again post-graduation (Book recommendations!)

I've been wanting to make a reading round-up (+ recommendations) for a long time now, but it just never happened. That ends today! This is my catch-up post where I'm going to cover everything from since I've graduated in 2021 to the end of 2024 (with the intent of making a new post for 2025). The COVID lockdowns had put me in a major depressive slump that I forced myself to crawl out of post-graduation, and I'm still trying to prioritize reading in my life.

Despite epic fantasy being my bread and butter, I have an eclectic taste in books. I'll read almost any genre if my interest is piqued. I'm also a member of two local book clubs in my city, which further diversifies my reading.

I've excluded any book that I didn't like or was ambivalent to so this doesn't become overwhelming. While I'm an open-minded reader, I can also be critical! But the haterisms will not come out here.

If I read multiple books in the same series, I will just name the series. I'll specify if any book is part of an existing series in parenthesis.

List is loosely ranked by preference, since I would be too stressed out to try to precisely place everything.

Parable of the Talents, Octavia Butler (Book 2)

One of my favorite books of all time (along with its predecessor, Parable of the Sower). Brutal, honest, and dark, but somehow a comfort read to me because this series empowers me to fight my own doomerisms and imagine a better world for us.

Xenogenesis, Octavia Butler (Books 1-3)

Can you see that Octavia Butler is one of my all-time favorite authors? This trilogy slaps. It is deeply speculative and thought-provoking in a way that made me wish I could take a seminar class on these books. I like how Butler doesn't shy away from "weirdness" in her work, because it makes her creations even more layered and intriguing.

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K Le Guin

Another all-time favorite. I first read this book in 2018, and then I reread it after suggesting it to one of my book clubs (and found new things to love about it). Deeply radical for the time period in which it was written. Layered, thought-provoking, and the book that helped my adult self transition to enjoying mature prose and books with literary depth outside of what I was assigned in school.

Rising Tide: The Great Flood of 1927 and How it Changed America, John M. Barry

The best nonfiction book I've read (I've recently started branching into them). Provides incredible context for a historic period that is sorely neglected in the way we learn US history. I highly recommend this book if you have any interest in the Mississippi river and the communities built along it, the history of Civil Engineering in the US, or post-Civil War US history (covering Reconstruction, the Gilded Age, the Nadir, and the Great Depression).

Rhythm of War, Brandon Sanderson (Book 4)

I don't need to hawk Stormlight any more to people who follow my blog lol. Picking up this series again after not having any spoons to do so during COVID lockdowns was a healing experience. This book is my favorite entry in the series so far. Raboniel was an incredible feat of a character because she stole the show here. Despite being attached to the already large cast of characters in a series where page-time is precious, I was constantly craving more and more of her.

Trust, Hernan Diaz

This is an amazing book that challenges you to think about unreliable narration and historic accounts. Has a unique and engaging structure with layers of secrets to uncover. Incredibly written. Great for anyone looking for a challenge with a non-traditional narrative.

Chain-Gang All-Stars, Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

I'm soooo glad that I picked up this book on pure gut-instinct after spotting the spine in a book store. This book is incredible. This author didn't pull any punches or play the safe route with his treatment of his characters and thus conveyed his message with fierce, ironclad conviction. I adored this book's use of rotating perspectives and experimental style (there is one character whose POV will switch to using verse and it blew my mind). Each voice is unique and conveys a wonderful depth of character.

Heavy, Kiese Laymon

This is a gut-wrenching memoir that is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand Black southern experiences. I was completely drawn in by this author's voice and I think about this book often.

Circe, Madeline Miller

This book was sooooo beautiful and had a lovely ending. Deeply immersive and deserving of the hype.

Long Live Evil, Sarah Rees Brennan (Book 1)

God damn this book slapped. It was stupidly fun (AND heartfelt) and I recommend it for anyone who likes the idea of romantasy on paper but was let down my some of the main staples of the genre. I had the privilege of meeting this author when she went on tour for this release and she's as funny in real life as she is in her prose!

The Bandit Queens, Parini Shroff

This book had a perfect balance of humor and heart. I loved how these women could be hilariously catty but also show deep solidarity for one another. A very refreshing read!

The Farthest Shore, Ursula K. Le Guin (Book 3)

Every fantasy fan should give Earthsea a try. My favorite entry in this series remains The Tombs of Atuan, but this one made me feel magical and warm.

One Two Three, Laurie Frankel

A great contemporary read (with an environmental justice lean) for those who love deep, introspective characters. I was charmed by the three sisters and their town.

Love & Saffron, Kim Fay

This book made me cry. It's a short, sweet read about how we can build relationships with each other through our relationship with food. Weirdly enough, I recommend this to fans of Dungeon Meshi.

Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi

An amazing book that takes you through 200 years of a family's history between Ghana and the US. Rich in its prose and accomplishes so much in a relatively small amount of pages (300). Not a word wasted.

In the Time of Our History, Susanne Pari

A family drama about loss, lies, and what it means to truly know someone. Great book.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Suzanne Collins (Book 0.5)

A daring book that managed to overcome the shock factor and disappointment of seeing who the "protagonist" was by providing so much depth to the setting and world-building of the original trilogy.

Hell Bent, Leigh Bardugo (Book 2)

An excellent follow-up to Ninth House that expanded on multiple side characters in riveting ways. I love the atmosphere of this series and how it speaks truth to our world and academia past the supernatural.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, V.E. Schwab

Another book that made me cry. Slow-paced and reflective, and it knew just the right places to throw in the curveballs that kept me engrossed in the story.

The Many Daughters of Afong Moy, Jamie Ford

An amazing story that weaves through history in a fascinating, creative way. I loved how it covered a breadth of Chinese diaspora experiences, and I grew very attached to the main character.

Lavender House, Lev A.C. Rosen (Book 1)

A mystery that provides a wonderful "origin story" for our detective main character. Very satisfying to follow along and try to predict the whodunit, and I need to read Books 2 and 3 ASAP.

Salt to the Sea, Ruta Sepetys

A fast-paced and devastating piece of historical fiction. There's no shortage of WW2 stories out there, but this book stood out with its narrow focus on a single tragedy.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Shirley Jackson

A novella that did not miss with its creepy atmosphere and sense of mystery. There's a puzzle to put together here, which made it a lot of fun to discuss at book club!

Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver

A must-read for anyone looking for books set in Appalachia. Deep and reflective, and I loved the voice of the main character.

The Roots of Chaos, Samantha Shannon (Books 1-2)

These books slapped, and Book 2 took everything great about the first and further expanded on it. I would recommend these to anyone who loves DRAGONS. The way the author incorporated multiple cultural interpretations of dragons/wyverns was great.

A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, Hank Green (Book 2)

This book out-shined its predecessor in so many ways, making it feel more like a prequel. An excellent example of science fiction with an optimistic message.

Breasts and Eggs, Mieko Kawakami

A great read for that provides a Japanese perspective on pressing feminist issues. I wish there was more harmony between the part of the book that was "Breasts" and the part that was "Eggs", but each topic gave me a lot to think about.

The Nickel Boys, Colson Whitehead

Beautifully written with a final twist that hits you like a punch to the gut. Helped me learn about yet another atrocity in our history that I hadn't known of before.

The Once and Future King, T.H. White

This book surprised me with how it shifts radically in style and tone between each of its four parts, but that made it all the more an engaging read. A must-read for anyone interested in Arthurian literature.

This is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Motar, Max Gladstone

If you don't like the style of the first five pages you will not like this book. But, if you're into it like I was, then this is a wonderfully creative, unique story.

Legends & Lattes, Travis Baldree (Book 1)

I listen to a negative review of this book that described it as a farming sim cozy genre game disguised as a book. I laughed, because I enjoyed this book for that exact reason (I love winding down with an aesthetic, cozy game). A fun, light read.

The Music of Bees, Eileen Garvin

A charming story that made me feel immersed in the Oregon valley that it takes place in. Will tempt you into picking up beekeeping as a hobby.

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, Jesse Q. Sutanto

Another charming read with a more humorous edge to it. Despite its light tone, the mystery remained engaging and was satisfying to see revealed in the end.

Stolen, Ann-Helen Laestadius

A character-driven thriller that immerses you in the culture of the Saami people of Scandinavia. I loved reading the main character come into her own as she grew from a child to an adult.

Orbital, Samantha Harvey

Sometimes this book overindulged in itself, but I found it thought-provoking and I loved how it conveyed the magic of the Overview Effect to the readers who will never experience it firsthand.

Razorblade Tears, S.A. Cosby

God damn the two main leads had a great dynamic with each other. I was hooked from the start, and there's one scene in particular that made me put the book down and stare at a wall for awhile (in a good way). The ending was a tad out of step with the tone of everything that built up to it, though.

The Hexologists, Josiah Bancroft (Book 1)

An interesting start to a series that merges magic and mystery. This author is interesting in how he writes genre fiction but utilizes a style of challenging prose and wide vocabulary (which I liked!). The main characters are a married couple that play off each other wonderfully.

Vicious + Vengeful, V.E. Schwab (Books 1-2)

These books are so fun and I love how committed this series is to the main character being a bastard of a man. Moody and dark. A new POV character in Book 2 was annoying AF and tested my patience with flawed, unlikable narrators lol, but the intrigue of the surrounding story still prevailed.

The Patron Saint of Liars, Ann Patchett

A book featuring a fascinatingly awful main character and containing stories within stories. Takes place at a kind of institution that we don't have anymore in the modern day, which was interesting to read about. I think it was missing some closure towards the end, but I can respect what the author was trying to do.

Nettle & Bone, T. Kingfisher

I took me some time to start to connect with the main character of this story (and she read as ten years younger than her actual age imo), but the second half delivered with great twists and satisfying resolutions. Very fairy tale-esque.

What Moves the Dead, T. Kingfisher (Book 1)

This book does a great job with setting the atmosphere that pervades the story. Towards the end, I felt the horror was a tad over-explained, but I still enjoyed the journey and the bits of world-building surrounding the culture the main character came from.

Midnight is the Darkest Hour, Ashley Winstead

This author is an awesome person who I've sat and ate dinner with IRL. The ending of this book made my jaw DROP. Hit a road bump in the middle, but it's an engaging read.

The Familiar, Leigh Bardugo

A fascinating look at Inquisition-era Spain with a magical lean. I was glad to meet the author when she went on tour for this release since I'm a huge fan of her other works. Didn't rise as high as books like Ninth House, but worth picking up if the setting intrigues you.

The Poppy War Trilogy, R.F. Kuang (Books 2-3)

A solid debut trilogy that blended fantasy and history in fascinating ways. The author was bold in her commitment to a self-destructive main character and it paid off, but it won't work for everyone.

The Books of Babel, Josiah Bancroft (Books 3-4)

I was hesitant to include these here because I did not like the way that this series ended at all. Book 4 started strong but devolved into a letdown. But there were enough highs (especially in book 3, The Hod King, which was my favorite entry) that it's worth acknowledging. I still keep up with this author (as seen above) and I hope that he can stick his next landing.

[celestialsister0918]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Thanks for tagging me, @gammacousin!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either. (Copied and pasted)

Words and Fics

Word Count:

142,081

Fic Count:

6 started. 5 completed

Most Productive Month: February by far, thanks to Kinkuary!

Top Five by Hits

The One He Needs Right Now: Jim Gordon's Kinkuary: 5941

What I'm Thinking About (Sirius x Ginny): 3600

A Window Not Missed (Bruce x Nat): 2107

A Window Closed (Bruce x Nat): 1101

In the Sepulcher by the Sea (Sirius x Severus): 684

Top Five by Kudos

A Window Not Missed (Bruce x Nat): 96

What I'm Thinking About (Sirius x Ginny): 61

A Window Closed (Bruce x Nat): 47

In the Sepulcher by the Sea (Sirius x Severus): 32

The One He Needs Right Now: Jim Gordon's Kinkuary: 24

Fandom events:

Two @trulymadlydeeplyfest fests! 1 in February and 1 in October. Both Harry Potter. I'm so bad at knowing where all the fests are so those are my only two.

Upcoming Plans:

To Complete:

Finish "A Window Closed" (Bruce x Nat)

Start "A Window Opened" (Bruce x Nat)

Start "A Special Election" (Jim Gordon x NEW OC) - I have one chapter written and some dialogue prompts for chapter 2. I'm soooo excited for this one.

Other Ideas:

Continue one-off Sirius and other Gary Oldman character one-shots on Tumblr.

Write a Jackson Lamb piece

Maybe write a Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova one-shot if the mood strikes

Write another Gary Oldman RPF (many dialogue prompts already written). Here's my first Gary RPF if interested... it was set during the Dracula filming. The new one will be set after his divorce from Alex but before Gisele.

Reflection

I took a couple long breaks from writing this year. After finishing "Submissioner Gordon" in December of 2022, I was at a pretty bad low from lack of interaction with that fic. My heart has NEVER been in something as much as it was that fic, so to have so many hits and so little interaction made me think everyone hated it. Yet I continued the story with the Kinkuary prompts, where I wrote a short fic every day for 28 days. Again, I feel like it bombed.

At the same time, I made what I thought would be my last hurrah in the Harry Potter fandom, and it didn't do so great either. I was in a BAD spot comparing myself to other writers, so I took a long hiatus.

During that break, I started watching the entire MCU with my son, start to finish. My brain grabbed onto Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff and would NOT let go. So in May, I began publishing the "Never Say Never" series, where I try to fix their story.

The feedback from the Marvel fandom and Brutasha readers/writers really warmed my heart and got me back in the groove. I am forever thankful to them, because it truly restored my confidence in writing.

I will always be thankful for my Wizarding World series and the Submissioner Gordon/Daddy Issues universe, and my brain loves to revisit those stories and characters. It's just bittersweet because it never really found its audience. However the feedback I got from my foray into the MCU fandom has built my confidence enough that I am able to write in HP and Dark Knight without really worrying what others think. I am just doing it for me and my love for the characters. I know my writing isn't bad--- it's just not a lot of people's cup of tea.

I also want to give a shoutout to the small but steadfast Gary Oldman fandom I have found on Tumblr and Instagram. They've become very dear to my heart, and I love that we can share random thirst posts together when so many others just don't get it.

If anyone is reading this, please share your 2023 stats and reflections as well! I love writers supporting writers. Happy 2024 to you all!

[milfygerard]

Oh I'm so here for Taylor calling out her audience. Even while on the actual stage. a lot of people paid a lot of money to go to multiple times. Between the always needing content (both old and new fans) and projecting their own wants onto her even after she multiple times indicated she's not like that and that's not a priority, even if it does happen soon and taking out their own personal frustrations onto her exes instead of writing a poem a week. Bring Clara Bow Who's Afraid Broken Heart The Albatross TS12 if that's what's coming. I would find it funny. Subverting expectations even more.

same i find it sooo interesting. I think it also ties into her sort of gold cage motif of the fact that shes been building and cultivating this audience since she was 13 but the problem is she isnt 13 anymore. That level of emotional connection and investment just isnt possible on a safety and numbers level, like we are never getting back secret sessions (which were insane and probably shouldnt have existed in the first place) or taylor having a public easy access two way interaction social media account (jesus could you imagine) but she built the fanbase on the early days of social media as a child. She was doing canny marketing of course but she also has admitted to being a lonely kid and kind of treated swifties as a friend group in itself. She would keep up with us through social media and invite us over her house to check out her new music and send us christmas presents and comment on our instagrams and for all the cynical calculations involved there was a real earnestness and vulnerability naturally involved in that that leads to a SUPER complicated and unique fan experience and relationship compared to other stars of her caliber. Swifties are famously strange and intense but one thing that people outside of that circle dont totally understand is that it feeds off of taylors extremely strange and intense energies. I remember when ttpd and specifically bdilh dropped and the backlash came with it, there was a few posts talking about how taylor would communicate and treat fans back in the red era, spending hours and hours after shows to meet hundreds of fans, staying in close contact with us and constantly communicating and almost obsessively showing her love and how that taylor would hate current taylor and i remember reading that and thinking, that 23 year old taylor is the reason we have 34 year old taylor having a complete meltdown as fan and public pressure reached its true boiling point with her dating a shitty guy in her friend group who she had a nothing situationship with 10 years earlier that she rewrote and romanticized in her head to cope with her dissolving ltr and as soon as she even considered launching him everyone had dug up every possible piece of dirt that was previously ignored and demanded she break up with him on the spot.

I really don't hold much anger towards fans who understandably hated and felt betrayed by taylor dating such an obviously shitty person with a past of racist edgelord "jokes" and a fetish for getting people mad at him, but i also cant imagine being taylor swift and trying to go through my "we're in love and its meant to be" rebound that is usually only known and embarrassing to a small group of friends and having it projected to the entire world while im fully having a massive mental breakdown while on the most important tour of my career and the culmination of my entire body of work up to that point and i have already had years of a famously volatile and intense fandom as well as only being a few years out of my controlling contract etc etc etc i would also date a guy specifically to piss off the people important to me and write a song about how we're soooo in love just to spite everyone. also "im having his baby...no im not but you should see your faces!" is one of the funniest things shes ever said. I am a little drunk so i am not sure how comprehensible that is but i agree id be THRILLED if she brought that complicated friction of ttpd to ts12 i love hearing her sing about it! It is unfailingly interesting when taylor sings about Us, its what a lot of my favorite songs of hers are about.

[number1villainstan]

I FINALLY finished the backlog of Frankenstein Weekly last night at 1am (deadass), which means now it's time to start on the massive backlog of Dracula Daily in my inbox. But I also have some Thoughts:

ELIZABETH. ELIZABETH MY BABY. I thought she didn't want to be married to Victor before this reread and I'm absolutely sure she didn't want to marry Victor now. She tries to comfort Victor on the ride to the honeymoon cottage not by saying stuff like 'hey, we're married now! Celebrate!' but 'look at all of the beautiful things out in nature! Look at the lake and the plants and the animals!' And although I say she tries to comfort Victor, I think she's actually trying to comfort herself--her personal worst case scenario has come true, and she's trying to comfort herself in this terrible moment where she's now married and truly bound to someone who she doesn't love and who doesn't love her as a person, just an object, by looking outside and comforting herself in the fact that nature is still beautiful and that the world still goes on despite her misfortune---ironically enough a massive contrast to how Victor wallows in his own despair without even trying to see the good that still exists in the world outside of his little circle.

In the very last chapter, when the Creature shows up and talks to Walton, he kind of mirrors some of Victor's earlier language, and insists that he's had the worst time of it ever of anyone, that he's had the most pain, in a similar way to Victor insisting that he's the one who's suffered the most in human history ever. Some of the self-centeredness of the father being passed down to the son here? Wallowing in his own despair and pain the same way that Victor did? We all love the Creature in this fandom, I'm sure, he's a sweetheart who didn't deserve anything that happened to him, but that doesn't mean that he's automatically a saint.

Soooo, Victor built the first Creature...and the first Creature is implied to be able to reproduce by Victor, soooo...like...what was he thinking? Did Victor really give the Creature sex organs? Would he actually be fertile? Whose sperm is it?? [Similar questions arise with the uncompleted second Creature.] <- This is less about the characters or themes of the book and more about hypothetical worldbuilding/science-y questions, but apparently brain death doesn't exist in the universe of Frankenstein (because Mary Shelley didn't know about it) so like...possibly these are not super fruitful questions

You could write an essay--or a series of essays--or maybe even a book on how Mary Shelley uses beauty and ugliness in her work, and what that might reveal about her own prejudices. Especially with the Creature's looks being what 'inspires' people to drive him away/be so scared of him, and I think I remember Victor saying something about how the Creature was beautiful to him before it was truly animated. And Elizabeth's beauty, and the beauty of the natural scenes...

There's also the question of the Creature's humanity. He was made from human parts, by a human, in the shape of a human; he can speak like a human; he thinks like a human; and yet he has been cast out from human society and, at least in his own mind, is hated by any human who even looks at him. Does he count as human? Is it fair to call him a monster or a Creature? Is it accurate? If he's not human, what is he? If he is human, what makes him human? Might you call him a zombie? What about something similar to a cyborg, or an android? These questions are especially pertinent to someone like me: very very queer, definitely neurodivergent, and with little attachment to my own humanity (and a mild obsession with monsters of all kinds). If the Creature is human, does that mean that I am human? If the Creature fails to be human, do I fail to be human?

Ironically enough, it seems like in the same end scene I mentioned in 2, Walton--although refusing to look at the Creature for its (informed?) hideousness--doesn't reject the Creature for its looks, but for its crimes as reported by Victor and confessed to by the Creature itself. In some ways, this is a just rejection; do not murderers and monsters deserve to be punished for their actions? And yet we cannot forget how the Creature was neglected by Victor and how he was rejected unjustly by strangers time and time again. What is justice here? What would be just? How do we recompense a victim who is also a perpetrator? How do we help someone who is hurting after they've hurt others?

I've got a oneshot idea percolating in my brain, a canon divergence thing that's set during the time where Victor is outside the cottage and Elizabeth is waiting inside, and when the Creature comes in she originally mistakes him for Victor (not looking at him) and they end up talking. There's also a part with her giving him her veil, so that his features are less defined (making him less likely to be automatically rejected based on his looks) near the end, and while what happens after is going to be left ambiguous--it's not the focus of that (currently unwritten) piece--I like to think it's happy. I'm also hoping to at least write up an outline for that oneshot today, if not the whole thing, because I'm Like That as a writer.

[percyjacksonscookies]

dude imma say it

the percy jackson tv show sucks so bad

and I have a lot of time to think at work when im not busy with my little tasks so imma rant about it

because my little brain likes to look for connections i guess

anyway

IT SUCKS SOOOOOO BAAAAAAD HOLY

S H I T

its a giant mix of things because of where we are in time

every major piece of media is a huge reflection of the times we live in so uh

it makes sense that this would suck too like every single other piece of media disney has released in the past decadeish (it comes down to taste so if u like a Disney thing, whatever)

but like?!?!

because of the times we live in where writers had to strike for better wages and a semblance of recognition (i dont know the terms exactly) it makes sense that they gave ol' Ricky boy a shot at screen writing cause they didn't really have to take a chance with a new writer. cause u know disney! wherever there are corners to be cut they will! gotta think of the poor ol' bottom line!!

BUT ALSO RICK RIORDAN'S QUALITY IN WRITING WENT DOWN S O HARD AFTER HIS FIRST SERIES WITH PERCY

heroes of Olympus and trials of Apollo do not have the same flavor as the original series and I know plenty of people will agree with me

and thats cause ol' ricky boy (might call him uncle rick ironically cause I have a big family so its in character of me to have beef with an uncle plus like.... cmon its for the bit, an homage to my cringey younger self, and to help me avoid stupid autocorrect on my phone, it works on so many levels, if u must, cringe away) lost the fucking heart of the original series

lost the whole point and charm of the 1st series

it started out as a fucking bed time story for his son for fucks sake!!!!!! so obviously it was going to be a story built on so much love you could feel it in every word he carefully knit together for his son to feel less alone in the world

and thats why I looked up to him for so many years!!!!

he inspired me to start writing!!! so that maybe some day I could also write stories that helped people feel less alone

because the best fucking stories are the ones with the most heart and genuine emotions you feel like you could be there

but uncle rick fucking lost it because i think after the massive success of his first series he saw it as a way to make money for his family instead of a way to lovingly craft something for the sake of it just existing

yet another thing capitalism has taken from us

I have yet to read his other work, as an adult, because percy jackson is such a comfort book for me and I've obsessively done so much research on it I remember him doing an interview once where he said his students found his other works and they were teasing him about the cuss words in the book because of course they were he taught middle schoolers and that is where he is stronger than I

but thats also another thing

since I haven't read his other works, I dont know if they're going to speak to me like percy jackson has, but probably not from the looks of his other series (ive read all of heroes of Olympus and some of trials of Apollo but thats just cause I adore nico)

but I can definitely say for sure without a shadow of a doubt

dude

uncle rick is NOT a screen writer

he SUCKS at it so bad

he definitely doesn't know how to build suspense in film or write around the obstacles that come with live acting

which is embarrassing man

ive been there

did a senior directed play in high school, wrote the script myself

and it sucked pretty bad

because I was a story teller not a script writer!!!! I didnt know what the fuck i was doing!!!!! whenever I wanted a new character I would just invent one out of thin air, what do you mean I had to have an actor for every new character I have?!?!?!?!

soooo grateful i tried that for the first time in high school cause its not that embarrassing when u suck at something as a teenager cause hey!!! ur learning new shit everyday!!

but this ties back into my point of this show reflecting the times

I will say, I prefer the movie of percy jackson over this weird show

and thats cause it had charm! zest! a screenwriter and people that knew how to make movies!

were at such a weird place in cinema

at least in the mainstream american/western media

I saw everything everywhere all at once last year and it blew my tits clean off

but thats because it was made by people who wanted to make art for arts sake!!!! for the love of creation!!!!!

thats why those movies are so successful now

cause there's really no formula to follow anymore so anything that seems original and made with love is so fucking insanely successful and big corporations can't fucking replicate that without taking chances and letting people tell honest earnest stories

which is why every Disney villain sucks now cause they have to also secretly maybe sometimes be a good person

oh no the circumstances they were given made them a villain

hmmm I wonder who helped with the capitalism of it all?? hmmmm such a mystery

I know we all miss when villains were just evil for fun and that was it

like Ursula, they didn't explain shit about her backstory she was just a woman in a cave that had a reputation and had a sick as hell design and that was all people needed to like her (shout out to divine) (also I don't remember much about the little mermaid I am basing this off of vibes)

where was i going with this.....

anyways the pjo TV show sucks

let Rick Riordan cook longer as a screen writer or let him be a co author of the script my god he sucks at this

get an expert screen writer in there asap phew!!!

today's adhd rant has been brought to you by:

this thing

[velvetporcelain]

It’s always like- “where’s my phone?”📱 and not- “where’s my pocket diary?” 📔 -discuss.

I no longer call this my phone. 📱

It’s my pocket diary. As it should be- 📱📔

Everything I need and want to say is written and left here. I never really go back and doom scroll through my writing. It’s left here to be floating here. Like useless space trash. 🚮 🪐

And I’m totally okay with surrounding myself with my own dignity. I don’t know how I made it through my twenties without some type of diary. But then again I was an avid Facebook user and that is basically a journal in itself. Soooo 2000’s. 📱👀

If I can get my mind to think of social media as I do this void then I can probably document my life in the way I want it documented.

Please, yes, judge me. I get off on the shock value of a judgment. —> in some sadistic way when I’m judged it makes me feel seen and alive. And then I cry about it in order to learn more about myself. More ways to be judged because I want more and more and more. I want to be a Warhol on your wall type vibes.

I feel like a vampire to be honest. I’m a good woman who’s addicted to self sabotage to feel alive. I’m not broken because I was never even built. Like- tell me when you first felt like you were actually building who you are according to what you’re meant to be. Experiencing and free.

I do not give the pleasure of judgment that people seek just like me. Judgments are so incredibly powerful. I will not give people mine because I need them more than you. And you don’t even know how much you need them too. Who gets to decide anyways? Me. I do. You choose yours too.

I am able to separate from taking responsibility for their feelings. You know the things that create their judgments. I am no longer sorry that they feel the need to judge me. I am not here for your pain. I’m here for pleasure.

I can only help one through the judgment process. Because I think we just don’t know how to constructively build from a judgment. No matter what kind. Because let’s face it, a compliment IS also a judgment. Is it not?

I know there are therapists, life coaches, doctors etc out there that hold the knowledge it takes to understand human psychology. I am delusionaly convinced that I can help people in a much deeper way. 😆 I don’t know what the way is yet, but I feel my methods are going to be something never seen before. And it’s gonna work. Haha. I’m laughing.

Yes. What a beautiful pocket diary I have. It’s full of my favorite music anywhere I go. I have this amazingly vivid blog account, where I account and accept myself fully. I am able to text or call all my favorite people in this entire world, literally. So 🔥 I think the cellphone was the greatest man made invention. They are what I dreamed of the future being like. The same but just more ways to connect, move and interact. The depictions of the future are always my favorite but when I think of future, some how I’m always thinking back to the 1950s-1960s retro nostalgia.

So I think the future is just the past learning from its mistakes automatically making our future. Again, stays the same, but more connections, movement and interaction.

And that’s all life is. Picking up our past and creating the future right in front of us. Therefore meaning that the only “life path” is the one behind us. There is no yellow brick road.

What you need, you have to borrow. Make sense? There is no future to borrow from. We must be the unrealized idea. Because that is what the future is, an unrealized idea.

Today? I was the first one up and I got to spend quality ass time on my office floor with my two favorite men. My cats 🙈🥰🥰😆 Gary is my little angry demon, and I love when he lays on top of my chest like the king he is. His ears turn outward and sharp. He lets his eye coverings cover only half is eye, he is purring like a dragon and I love taking in the Hz frequencies. My other guy is my baby and I let him get a little rough with me and bite me and scratch my hoodie sleeves in hopes he would feel like the baddest African lion. I let him hunt and kill my arm. I don’t mind the pain, and my mom chopped off the tips of his from paws (declawed) him. Ugh so get me started on that—. It was amazing connecting and enduring the now.

I cleaned my entire house with my daughter’s headphones on feeling no animosity or anger towards my home. 🏡

Now- here I am. Self sabotaging with cigarettes, but- but- baby- it’s okay all the best writers smoke cigarettes in order to be able to endure the deep thought process. 💋

I’ll be fine. I’ll quit soon. 🔜 as I stop thinking.

-x

[luxusdollhouse]

Walks in here. Hey guys. This is gonna be a lot so im putting it under the read more,

So this bit is copy pasted from my long winded explanation i wrote to roadie in her asks a long time ago but here’s my daybreak town creation story

“i actually think daybreak town existed and was populated by wielders BEFORE mom came like daybreak town was already fully on its feet with a flourishing distinct culture of its own before MoM came in and started fucking shit up like thats just how it is in my head.

But yeah anyways so the creation myth in my head would be a combination of one of the world parents archetype and then after that the emergence archetype, wielders saying that daybreak town itself came into existence via some kind of light filled earth mother in the heavens (i’d like to think some people were somewhat aware of the final world’s existence so the “heavens” here would be the final world) dismembering herself and using parts of her body to create everything like, the sky, the earth, the animals, plants, and other worldly features that exist in daybreak town (such as the buildings in town itself!)

That’d be the creation myth for daybreak town itself and then it would follow an emergence archetype where wielders all come from one world into another (daybreak town) in which they now currently inhabit, irl this process is likened to childbirth a lot and the previous world is considered the earth mothers womb so i think wielders would think of it like that, especially since that that is literally what canonically happens like wielders come from one world and emerge into another .”

One day i plan on writing that out properly in the style of someone writing down the town’s oral stories (that someone would probably be me and @serenedash’s oc Azriel)

SPEAKING. Of Azriel. DAYBREAK 👏 TOWN 👏 HAS 👏 FOLK 👏 SAINTS 👏 AND 👏TRADITIONAL 👏 HEALERS 👏

Daybreak Town Identity to me is more so a nationally than like. A Single Race. I kind of think of it like Judaism in the way that its a sort of ethno-religion because yes racially all wielders are different but they all believe in some form of the folk religion that exists in daybreak town (i like the idea of each district having a slightly different practice of the main base religion) and lived in the same town and have a shared background/history because of it . If that makes any sense.

On the note of daybreak town religion: i need to write this down at some point but the religion is very much so like, centered around the natural world and light and being NICE TO EACH OTHER love others as you would yourself etc etc

Daybreak town i think would have so many folk saints and traditional healers, every district would have one or two healers that served their districts but I think Azriel (the oc i mentioned earlier this is him) serves ALL of the districts and unions nondiscriminably and i think he’d be one of the oldest wielders in town (read: 17/18 at the oldest) and have multiple apprentices for replacing his healer role. Also he officiates weddings its great (daybreak town marriages are very casual and not serious at all though) he doesn’t use his keyblade ever he chooses not to fight lol

Also. Holding daybreak town folk crafts in my arms. I love them so much like augh my Items…. Daybreak Town folk crafts are SO popular even outside of daybreak town, i always imagine the big ones being like, religious arts, dolls in traditional/religious garb, beadwork (usually chirithy or lux themed), embroidery, basketry, and like so much other stuff its crazy like me and matt (lmfao) also have another pair of oc’s that are traveling merchants who literally just make/buy folk art from daybreak town artists and go to other worlds and sell/trade it. They come back like every few months to pay the artists and buy more and then they leave again LMFAO

Also daybreak town mourning culture is soooo important to me augh… i always imagine wielders dying very young and constantly and there’s a complex culture built around grief and mourning bc of it . I have a daybreak town cemetery Pinterest board which is just like exactly how i imagine it being like the way they CANONICALLY have one is crazy . Just . very very decorated graves are so common because more often than not everyone knows everybody so theres so much grief to pass around and decorating graves is a common thing to bond over after your loved one dies (and also hair art and mourning songs i know those are both huge funerary things lmfao, there’s also death wailing which i imagine to sound like this)

I also think photography is like. A HUGE cultural taboo. Like in general but especially no pictures of people who have passed away like thats even worse. Me and matt have the hc that survivors of the keyblade war fled to twilight town and take refuge there and that like very much so continues to be a huge cultural taboo like in the part of twilight town that the community resides in cameras are not allowed you will get in trouble if you get caught i think glsnfkdj

There js literally so much more that i cant even think of rn but i have so many thoughts on daybreak town culture i love daybreak town i miss it also lfnskfnsk

Thanks for reading my massive post hit that like button and subscribe or whatever

🫵 khux stans

gimme your thoughts and feelings abt daybreak town culture. i'm starting to work on a constructed language for it, and you can't have language without culture

formality is already being built into the language via pronouns based on seniority

[bonded-by-love-and-hatred]

So, I’ve been listening to an SCP podcast lately. I’m no expert on the SCP world or anything, buuuuut I had the idea that “what if Wayne Enterprises contained some of these top secret facilities?” I mean, a multi-billion dollar company could easily hide and fund such a thing. And Gotham being Gotham, it kinda makes sense? Gotham would be like a breeding ground for this kinda stuff lol.

Like could you imagine Arkham Asylum being a sorta sentient building sending out mindless orderlies/guards to kidnap people who are driven insane by the building? It lets people go to wreak havoc upon the city and ultimately bring more people in, ‘cause how else are the inmates always getting out??

Idk, I just think it’s a cool idea.

And, of course, being the Wayleska/Valeyne lover that I am, I’ve had to connect the two. Soooo, under the cut is a little concept fic I wrote just now about it.

"Oh, Bruce." That voice. A whisper in the noise. A bellow in the quiet. A melody in their dreams. A shriek in their nightmares. Like honey and silk. Like ice and chemicals. Familiar and strange.

"Brucey, darlin'." A deep, raspy mimic of the other. Louder, grander, with discord in the melody. Instead of ice and chemicals at its core, there was fire and electricity.

"Long time no see." Together, a harmony luring you into a trap. To your doom.

And the boy they worshipped and put up on a pedestal made of rotting flesh and bone, grown so much from the time they first met, stood frozen at the sounds of their voices. Eyes wide with images of ginger hair, freckled skin, and wide smiles. With memories of knives and blood, mazes and generators, shared hugs and kisses and tears. Conversations and promises made what seemed a lifetime ago echoed through his head. Until he crumpled under it all.

Ecco, fighting off her own memory-filled trance, fell to her knees in front of Bruce, pulling his quivering body into her arms. Huddled together, hiding their faces, clinging to one another, blocking out the world, she chanted the same old lie: "It'll be okay."

I may expand upon this, but there’s so many things already lol. The basic idea I have right now is just: Thomas and Martha’s deaths were SCP-related, and Bruce is devoted to containing and learning about every anomaly he comes across. I can’t really decide if the twins should be like humanoids from the very beginning, and now they’ve built this deep connection so Bruce can’t let go. Or if the twins died because of some entity that now taunts Bruce with the memory of them. Or maybe I’ll leave that all ambiguous, who knows? I don’t.

This is just a concept I wanted to share and can’t promise I’ll do more with. I would like to! But idk if it’ll ever happen. I’ll probably get lost in my research of the SCP world and never get around to writing anything. ‘Tis the way of life, I’m afraid.

Please let me know what you think!! <3

[unohanadaydreams]

[tw selfcest] oh i am SOOOO glad my mayuri sex machine ask inspired such a great discussion! part of me honestly feels like mayuri would create some android version of you that he does literal life-threatening things to, or deeply immoral things (removing its voicebox? increasing the pain receptors?) that he cannot do to you as you are a squishy shinigami. alternatively, he probably gets you to have sex with it in front of him.

LISTEN. Mayuri would absolutely do this.

Sexually, he can dole out to a shinigami. That is part of his freak nasty persona, after all. But the knowledge that he loves you? Absolute forbidden fruit. Any baring of soul involves you getting so close you're practically sewed under his skin. This man has not learned lessons on approaching love post-Nemu for the better. But for the worse.

And pre-TYBW, I don't think he would even need an android or mod-soul replacement of you. He could just get away with it. A singular solider going missing is easy to wave away suspicion on if done with any finesse. Seireitei is not a system that cares THAT much about gore until it clogs the cogs of their machine enough that it's noticed and must be cleaned. (Finding out Mayuri went on trial during SAFWY for putting bombs in his soldiers is so funny because he suffers no discernible consequence)

But post-TYBW, there would be more accountability, I think. Kyoraku & Nanao are very built up as a more future-forward leadership. And really, he's only going to want a replacement of you when he's too far gone emotionally.

He can't just admit you've been on his mind all day and have you walk out into the world, able to repeat that knowledge to anyone. You can't just live your own life, separate from him, once you know--and more importantly, once he admits to himself--that he wants and needs you. Mayuri fucking short circuits with the reality of you, a person with autonomy and your own life, have an irrational hold over him. He couldn't even handle having tender feelings for the test tube daughter he reared to have almost no life outside of him!!!

Like, Mayuri already translates his internal suffering into physical suffering unto others, per canon (physically punishing Nemu for his insecurity). So, Mayuri keeping a copy of you to confide in and then punish you for being the one he confides in checks out 1000%.

Having feelings for you is a punishment. So punishment will be your replacement's life.

He's flipping through tomes of ancient torture techniques like they're bed time stories so you can fully feel dread for the what's in store the next day. He is thinly justifying to himself (still! even now!) that he's simply experimenting. Improving upon the old. Updating the past to current standards.

Also Mayuri getting you to have sex with your replacement......like the desperation your replacement feels, absolutely lavishing you in pleasure because you're the first and only person to do the same without punishment. They've only known Mayuri, in practicality. Your attention and care is a blessed first. I think Mayuri would really get off on that--that even your replacement is desperate for you. Like that makes wanting you more logical. That he isn't the only one starved for you.

Anyway! :) I agree and will be thinking such normal thoughts today.

[crankityart]

Hc for Viktor as a dad, please please please.

Oooff, right into my heart ;;____;; Okay, get ready for some:

Viktor as a dad headcanons

So, first I think we have to establish what Viktor is like when it comes to children anyway.

Viktor is the kind of person who says that he's terrible with children, considering he barely interacts with any and even as a child himself he had a hard time bonding with anyone his age.

He's pretty awkward around kids, not really knowing what to say or how to behave in front of them. Well, at first at least ...

Turns out, once Viktor warms up to the situation he proofs that he has quite a knack for children. He would bond with them over explaining the world, science and the hex crystals. Kids are naturally very curious and he loves how bold and unashamed they are in asking all kinds of questions.

He likes to take on a teacher or mentor role, it actually comes very naturally to him. (This is something I noticed when I rewatched the "pep talk" scene with Jayce in act 1. He seems to be really good at seeing potential in people and motivating them.)

Soooo, what would he be as a father?

Viktor's main struggle as a father is finding a balance between working and parenting.

On one hand he is basically married to his work, unhealthily dedicated and ambitious on making the world a better place. On the other hand, now he has another living body beside him who he needs to take care of.

He loves his child, there is no doubt about it. Viktor is a very empathatic person, unfortunately with a history that is filled with loneliness. But taking care of another human being cultivates the love and sense of purpose inside him. Now he actually has someone to make the world a better place for. Someone who really needs him. And that is a drive he never had before.

Viktor's favorite way of bonding with his child is building little toys and gadgets together. Or he also really likes to read bedtime stories to them. For Viktor it's very natural to share his interests and it's safe to say that his child will develop a similar passion growing up.

Being a disabled parent definitely has its challenges. Viktor can't do everything other parents are able to and sometimes it's very frustrating for him, since he wants to give his kid the best childhood they can have.

It's always a little chaotic at home. As a single parent Viktor has to handle a lot of obligations at the same time, but his child grows up to be quite self-sufficient because of it, taking over household chores and generally helping their father, when he is especially busy.

And now for some cute, wholesome headcanons. uwu

Sometimes Viktor falls asleep at his desk while working overnight. His child would then put a blanket over his shoulders and make pancakes in the morning.

In case of his kid getting scared at night or having a bad dream, Viktor has built a few gadgets to help them feel more safe, like for example nightlight that would project a beautiful starry sky onto the walls and a music box that plays his kid's favorite lullaby.

Viktor has developed a thing for telling dad jokes over the last years. He thinks they are witty and hilarious, but his kid would just roll their eyes at him.

Viktor tends to be quite forgiving when it comes to his child being a little troublemaker. Of course, there will be scolding for bad behavior and dangerous actions, but if his kid would get in trouble for bringing a box full of lizards to school, he would let them get away with it, probably ending up arguing with the teacher. He's definitely not as strict as other parents when it comes to these things. (I mean, Viktor is a little troublemaker himself. >:)

Viktor loves giving his kid forehead kisses. All the time. In the morning, when they leave for school or before going to bed.

For when his kid is being extra lazy about getting out of bed in the morning, Viktors has a cheeky method that always works: "How about I conduct a little scientific experiment? Let's see how long I have to tickle you until you get up. I'll be counting the seconds, starting ... now! ... 1 ... 2 ..." Needless to say his child will be suddenly very awake and not so lazy anymore. >:)

Viktor isn't a great cook, but his kid loves it when he makes his signature sweet milk French toast. With sprinkles of course!

A/N: Thank you for this request, that was so much fun. ;;w;;

[carcass-confessions]

first up in my list of super cool mega awesome important trans and gnc is Celia Katherine Somerset, the main character of a horror thing im vaguely working on, the current title is Tales From Beyond the Sunflower Fields but im considering changing it to Tales From Below the Bay for reasons,, anyways shes like. the sole researcher of some weird liminal supernatural world built on top of ours that deals with some time dilation shenanigans and whatnot (and i was totally inspired by bioshock infinite so her main tie to the supernatural is what she calls starshifter syndrome, which in very basic terms means that she will occasionally just blip into an adjacent but nearly identical reality seemingly at random and the one thing that is noticeably different across ALL realities is the precise positioning of the stars in the sky)

2. Gladys, AKA The Bleach Witch, AKA The Witch of the Laundromat, is like one of the first new characters Celia meets in TFBTSF, and theyre what celia calls a Strukture, which is like. ok so. in this world, if enough people die in a building or if a building has some other miscellaneous Anomalous Properties, a Strukture has the potential to be born. they have pretty much the same physical strength as your average human, maybe SLIGHTLY more, but they usually have something Off about them that shows they arent... human. Depending on the circumstances of the building, a Strukture may come out a lil more monstrous, but Gladys' only anomalous qualities are that anything they touch is bleached, so they wear a lot of white (particularly a white sweater is their signature look) to blend in better. love gladys, my friends keep going absolutely feral for them

3. Serra Mun. catboy witch baker with a cherry motif. nuff said. yall get me.

4. Nova Eliane Jones, sun witch, absolutely adore her, one of few (actually i have a lot) characters without any severe trauma that completely breaks a character down for the sake of an Arc. just a really fun character to make picrews of for me <3

its now 6 am somehow soooo ill finish "tomorrow" because i have a lot more characters than i thought,,,

Soooo I really have no idea fully how the tumblr ecosystem works and idk who would even benefit from hearing this, but

I'm still pretty new here (a lil under 2 months since i joined). Apparently, as ive discovered from a lot of posts on my dash, every awful change that's been made was with the intent of bringing in new people like myself.

I hate the layout on desktop. I can only tolerate the layout on mobile (although idk if it was changed at all because I haven't seen as much about it.

Besides a couple cool people I've met here, the (and I can't emphasize this enough) ONLY thing that's keeping me here is the naive hope that eventually whatever person or team that's in charge of keeping the site Running and providing Fun Updates finally realizes that everything that's been changed has totally removed the things that, in my experience, drew people to the platform at all in the first place, and change it back.

I've never used twitter, Instagram, tiktok, or reddit because the formatting and aggressive ecosystems (mostly follower counts and all that, and also generally being perceived so intensely) drove me away, but of course I finally make a tumblr and wouldn't you know it I joined right when the desktop format was made identical to twitter

side note whats uhhh,, whats up with the nsfw bots? i thought yall didnt like nsfw??? why are there nameless boobies following me in my notifications????

[crybabykiko]

Szn’s Creamings

Miya Osamu x Fem!Reader

Warnings: oof a lot sorry- eggnog(its delicious and you’re all just mean), corruption if you squint, clandestine sex I guess? Choking, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), nipple play, the Miya accent, improper use of Christmas decorations, bondage, unprotected sex(you should know to expect this from my writing by now), vaginal penetration, squirting, creampies/breeding, use of the word daddy like ONCE, cum eating, a dash of overstim for optimal flavor, ahegao (😌) aaaaand snowballing (aka spitting cum in someone’s mouth) swearing obviously ummmmm shit man idk anymore I’m 999% sure that’s it- good shit below da cut

Wc: 2.5k

A/N: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and a VERY Happy Holiday no matter your culture’s festivities! This is part of my collab with my lovely friends in The Sewer Server- @rat-suki ty anu for organizing it all! I’m love u. This fic was written in an eggnog & fireball induced  blackout, and is singlehandedly fueled by lust for Osamu’s Dorito body and my love for Steak n’ Shake.

Cheese-on’s Greetings Collab mlist here 🎄🎁🐁

“This... is it?” He cocked an eyebrow at the concoction, the red and green sprinkles bleeding dye into the whipped cream, the sad cherry on top sunken into it. 

“This is what you’ve been goin’ on about fer the last 3 weeks?” 

This- was an eggnog milkshake. A wintertime classic, and a staple at the local diner in your hometown. Simple enough. It didn’t look like much- in fact, it honestly wasn't. But to you, this shitty, artificially-flavored diner milkshake encompassed all the joys of holiday magic into one tall, frosted glass. You could count the years you spent in this diner, knocking them back. You’ve grown of course, but the nostalgia always stays the same. Having Osamu come to your hometown for the holidays was a pretty big step in your relationship, sure, but including him in the milkshake tradition usually reserved for your best friend? That was even bigger. 

“You haven’t even taken a sip, you ass,” you giggled, putting your own straw to your lips, reveling in the cool flavor that was coating your tongue. Pure sugar, just a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon- perfect as always. You pushed the glass over to him, urging him to try for himself. He took in a large drink, letting it rest before clicking his tongue a few times and looking over at your eyes- eyes that were aglow with anticipation and gingerbread men? No, that was just the reflection of the gaudy tinsel that adorned the booth you sat in. 

“Soooo?” 

“Not bad,” he sighed, pushing the glass back your way. Always anticlimactic. 

“But I could definitely make one that’s better.”

“I’d like to see you try,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes at him. 

One thing you knew he could never resist was a challenge. Grabbing his wallet, he slammed some bills on the table, whisking you away from the diner in 2 minutes flat, the milkshake an ever present memory, like that of the favorite Christmas gift from childhoods passed. You didn’t think he’d take it that seriously, but you also knew that Osamu took everything- especially food- seriously.

Even still, the drive back to your parents’ was a calm one, like every night adventure. The only difference was the bitter cold in the air, and the soft crooning of songs about Santa Claus on the radio. The only thing was- you just couldn’t stop pressing your thighs together….

“Put it away, sir.” you said jokingly, shifting your current position on the couch. Miracle on 34th Street shown on the small screen of the television as you flicked through what seemed like every Christmas movie ever made with the remote.  The feeling of his cock starting to stiffen at your back told you everything you needed to know; that Osamu wasn’t interested in whether or not Santa Claus was real, or  whatever the ‘true’ meaning of Christmas was- he was solely interested in the meaning of that which currently resided between your legs. 

A sneaky had drifted under your shirt, breath hitching in your throat as his thick fingers rolled one of your nipples, the soft tugging leaving you mewling as the sensation traveled down to your now throbbing clit. You leaned into it for a split second, but you were bought back to reality by the sight of your family’s Christmas photos on the fireplace mantle. There was no way in hell you could get fucked in front of a photo of your grandmother. You swatted Osamu’s hand away.

“We can NOT do this right now-” your words fell on deaf ears as  his hand snaked up your thigh, leaving a trail of warmth in  its wake as he settled them right above your stomach, fiddling with the drawstrings of your shorts. 

“My mom and dad are literally upstairs….” The words left your mouth faintly your body lurching toward him.

Again, you tried. A valiant attempt. It wasn’t a lie- they most certainly were upstairs, presumably fast asleep, as they had been up there for almost two hours now, leaving you and Osamu to watch a few corny Christmas movies- or so they thought. But he saw through your objections. Hearing the way your voice softened, seeing how your chest wavered as he got closer and closer to your face, he simply couldn’t contain himself. 

“It’s not my fault ‘ya wanted to stay here,” he huffed, large hands seizing your own, pushing away their protests as he passed his thumb up and down your clothed slit. You bit your lip in an effort to silence the moan that was bubbling its way up and out of your mouth. You had started to become feverish, your own state of vulnerability apparent as Osamu used one arm to pin your wrists above your head, sending your lower half flailing and bucking up into his free hand as you whimpered desperately for his touch.

“You want it, don’t ya, little love?” Little love. The one pet name you could never resist. Almost like a switch, you moaned a particularly needy, not-so-hushed “hmmhm- yes, daddy,” that definitely would have blown your cover. Luckily, Osamu’s thick fingers worked their way into your mouth to silence you, your lips immediately wrapping around them and obediently sucking to heed his words.

“Just be s’quiet as possible,” his hushed tone came out in a low baritone. He pressed a finger to his lips, pointing another up toward the ceiling from the couch of your parents living room. 

Keeping your arms restrained, your boyfriend’s free hand pushed past your layers of clothes, your saliva coated his fingers, providing just enough slickness to enter your hole with ease, gently curling against that soft spot right inside. You were so warm, so needy, easily molding into his touch as he watched your eyes widen within his. You fixed your mouth to open, but it hung there as his fingers worked, your cunt sucking  them in manically. 

“F-fuck,” you could barely manage that. “Please I-hmph- please…”

“Use yer words, little love,” he cooed, the tone of his voice was sickeningly slow as he teased you, slowing his fingers down. You bucked your hips in protest, pouting and wiggling underneath him to feel some form of friction.

“Stop Squirmin’.” His demeanor shifted immediately, darkening at your perceived disobedience. The hands that held your wrists met your throat, a half gasp escaping you as he gently squeezed, your face softening into a pout. 

“I said- use yer words.”

“Please, please fuck me,” you squeaked. “F-fill me up.”

“Then we gotta find a way t’keep ya nice n’ still. Will you be good fer me?”

You nodded. You always were. Osamu’s ability to render you a compliant, malleable toy for him to fuck was astounding. You could spend the rest of your life being his obedient little thing without a care in the world or a complaint.

“I know ya will,” he pressed a kiss to your lips. “My little love’s always s’good…” 

You knew you were in for it- but you didn’t expect this. It was a little different from your normal setup, but at the same time, the rush of excitement built in the pit of your stomach just as it did the first time ‘Samu ever bound you. It just so happened that there were some discarded lights nearby the Christmas tree. You could see the glimmer of an idea in his eyes as he plugged them in, smiling as the glow lit up his face. He looked at you on the couch and wiggled his eyebrows- as much as you wanted to laugh out loud, you weren’t in the position to be picky about your rigging tonight. You had to make do. 

“It’s…. festive?” You could tell that even he was amused. But amusement aside, the desire that built between you, the stored tension of having not touched each other for almost two days now was clearly screaming to be addressed. His large hands made a bite in the wiring of the lights and they quickly found themselves around your wrists, the illumination beautiful, but also kind of blinding this close to your face. With a kiss to your lips, he moved from your wrists and down toward your torso, trailing an interesting track of holiday cheer into a harness around your chest and tying in your back. Your arms were bent forward at the elbow, snugly enough so that you could wiggle your fists, but your wrists were of no use.

 Pushing you onto your knees, you felt the press of your boyfriend’s hand against your back as he repositioned your arms and elbows to place you on all fours. Cool air immediately hit the skin of your lower half as you felt him pull your bottoms off. You wriggled your hips in an effort to help, but instead your flesh was met with an aggressive strike. Managing to catch your discomfort in your throat, a lowered hiss bared through your gritted teeth, soon followed by a sharpened inhale as you felt the presence of him towering over you. 

“Been thinking about the way those cute lips were wrapped around that straw all night,” he panted, palming his cock through his sweats. You could see how uncomfortably hard he was- it lit a fire in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t wait to serve him, you couldn’t wait to feel the weight of his thick cock against your tongue- and stretching your pussy past it’s limits.

“I bet’cher sweet mouth wrapped around my cock would look even prettier, don’t ya think?” 

His words hit at your core. Your mouth began to water in anticipation as he pulled himself out of his sweats, gently pumping before lining up at your mouth. 

Delicately, your tongue swirled down the slit of the head, plush lips wrapping around the pink bulb. Osamu’s hands guided your head down the length, drool sliding out of your mouth and down your  chin, where it dripped onto your chest, riddled with bright multicolored light. Slowly, he fucked himself with your throat, allowing you to adjust to his girth. 

“Yep,” he exhaled deeply, hissing at how warm your mouth felt around him.

 “Ev’n prettier.”

 His motions sped up as he bobbed your head up and down, the slight saltiness of his precum going down easily, leaving you practically begging for a full load.  You always craved him on your tongue- he tasted much better than any diner milkshake could. The soft gargling of his assault on your throat slowed to a stop as he pulled you off, leaving you gasping for air. Licking the drool from the corners of your lips, Osamu kissed you passionately before throwing your bound body onto the couch.

You clenched haphazardly around his cock as soon as he entered you, head flying forward with the force of his thrusts. His arm held you upright, parallel to his chest as his cock pistoned in and out of your hole. 

“‘S-sa-ah!~ ‘Samu- ffuck!” Your eyes snapped shut as he fucked into you. His breathy grunts resounded deep in your ears, sending jolts of molten lust down your spine, chest heaving as you tried keeping your voices down. Your hot, wet cunt sucked him in deeper and deeper each time he entered you- your urge to milk him for everything he had was only made more apparent by it. 

“I can feel you baby,” He purred into your ear. “So fucking wet.” 

Osamu released you from his hold, letting you fall forward into the couch, one hand pushing your head into the cushions, the other roughly kneading at the flesh where your ass and hip met, digging his nails into the flesh as he began to carnally pound into your pussy. Each stroke hit your sweet spot with a ridiculously precise skill. Your muffled sobs echoed into the cushions of the couch as he drilled you, never once slowing the rate in which his hips snapped into yours. You wouldn’t be surprised if the smacking of his skin against yours woke your parents at this rate- you couldn’t be bothered to care with your orgasm this close to the horizon. 

Somehow you managed to free a hand from your twinkling ties, immediately pushing it to your clit to rub it feverishly. The squelching started up shortly after, your ears beginning to ring as your throat squealed itself raw into the deep void beneath you. Osamu pulled you back by your hair, pressing his lips to your ear and clasping a hand to your mouth.

“Keep rubbing that pretty pussy, sweet girl, so fucking close to cumming fer me, aren’t ya?”

You could only whine in response. He softened the hand on your mouth, muffled words spilling out.

“I’m gonna cu-ah-cum! Please let me cum!” 

“Hmmm? Gonna cum? Did I hear ya right, little love?” He knew what he was doing, egging you on like this.

You were mere milliseconds away from losing it, the edge pulling up to you so close that you could barely collect yourself as you began to feel yourself slip over it- eyes whiting out as Osamu gave you the go-ahead. 

“Just let me c-” he finished your sentence for you.

“Cum.” It was a simple word, a simple command. But the way it hit your ears: the way the low growl tore through your body- you didn't stand a chance. The warm wetness of your release sprayed against his abs, trickling down your thighs and pooling into the upholstery. Your eyes crossed, face contorting further into lewd bliss as a scream tried to escape your mouth- but only silence hiccuped its way out. 

“Good fucking girl- now take this, baby. Take it all…” God, he was the devil. 

Fucking you through it- your boyfriend chased his own high, cock twitching inside as the vision of you wrapped in lights blurring into colorful stars as he spilled into you, his load coating your insides with a mass of sticky, soothing heat. You both collapsed into each other, bodies writhing as you caught your heavy breaths. 

As he slipped out of you, Osamu lifted your hips to his mouth, sucking in the mixture of his and your own release, savoring it on his tongue. Your puffy, fucked-out cunt spasmed at the contact, the sensation overwhelming as you tugged at his steely grey locks, snapping his head back. 

“Hmmph-  s’too much ‘Samu!” Your thighs clamped together as soon as he released you.

Humming a soft apology, he moved up from your lower lips to the upper ones, pushing his tongue past them, spitting arousal across your tongue. You swallowed the mixture greedily, smiling against his lips. You could still feel ropes of cum pouring from your spamming hole and leaking onto your thighs.

“Whaddaya think?” The words were slurred against the skin at the crook of your neck while he peppered your skin with kisses.

“Delicious.” You looked at him with a smirk, mind still hazy as your body shook its way through a few more aftershocks. 

“Told ya I could make a better milkshake.”

 As he said it, laughter broke out between the two of you. Your chest struggled against the harness, as it was still pretty tight. Osamu unplugged the decorations, gently untying you as snow fell outside your living room window, the faint jingling of bells filling the room again as the tv light illuminated you both. 

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