#lily evans criticism

[fannedandflawless]

Selective Loyalty and the Lily Problem

This post continues from my previous analysis, "WHO LIT THE MATCH?" — specifically section 5.) Loyalty Worn Two Ways, where I compared Lily Evans’ loyalty to that of Bellatrix Lestrange. The response to that post made it clear: we need to talk about Lily.

"She was written with strong loyalty." That’s what they say. But loyalty, when selectively applied, isn’t virtue — it’s comfort dressed as conviction.

Let’s talk about Lily Evans. The girl who stood up to bullies — sometimes. The girl who defended Severus — once. The girl who walked away — and never looked back.

🔨 The Double Standard No One Wants to Name

Lily called Severus’ Slytherin friends cruel when they hexed others.

"You think that’s funny?" she asked. "You think that’s all just a laugh?"

But when the Marauders hexed Severus in front of a crowd — dangled him upside-down, flashed his underwear to the world, humiliated him — it was brushed off as mischief. She scolded James, sure. Called him a “bullying toerag.” But she didn’t disown him. Didn’t stop speaking to him. She married him.

Why is one hex cruelty, and the other mischief? Why is one unforgivable, and the other… flirtation?

When Severus defended a fellow Slytherin, it became proof he was on the wrong path. When James hexed Severus, it was part of the journey to redemption.

Lily’s moral compass didn’t shatter — it shifted. And Severus saw it happen in real time.

⸻

🎭 The Performance of Principle

It wasn’t just the bullying. It was how she measured it.

Lily had the self-righteousness of someone who meant well — but only when it was safe to mean well.

She never went after Sirius, who cast the spells. She never called out Remus, who stood by and did nothing. She never looked James in the eye and said, “You humiliated my best friend and I won’t stand for it.”

Instead, she turned to Severus, and said:

“You’re choosing the wrong people.”

They all did. And yet only one was punished for it.

⸻

🔍 She Forgave James — But Never Severus

This is where the comparison starts to sting.

Lily was willing to believe James could change. But not Severus.

She gave grace to the boy who tortured her friend — but not to the friend who broke under pressure. She extended second chances to the boy she dated — but cut off the one who needed her most.

That’s not just a mistake. That’s selective loyalty.

⸻

⚠️ Not Villainy — But Still a Problem

This post isn’t about demonising Lily Evans. She was young. She was flawed. She was human.

But so was Severus.

And for a fandom that preaches kindness and forgiveness, it’s strange how selective that kindness becomes when his name enters the room.

⸻

♾️ Coming Full Circle

When Bellatrix was loyal, she was honest about it. When Lily was loyal, she chose who earned it — and who didn’t. One was mad. One was adored. But both were uncompromising.

Maybe that’s what makes it hurt.

Lily believed in goodness. Just… not always in the people who needed her to.

⸻

Related post: WHO LIT THE MATCH? Coming up next: The Devotion That Never Grew Up ⸻

If you found this post stirring, you may also like… A collection of emotional deep-dives into Severus Snape—the man who endured, unravelled, and remained:

Severus Snape: Widower of the Living

The Virgin Theory: Severus Snape, and the Sanctity of Unlived Intimacy

The Dignity of Suffering in Silence: Snape as the Ghost of a Living Man

[mordorinmind]

The only adult other than James and Lily, that should be allowed to be Harry's parent is Sirius. You know the only person that canonically was there for Harry. You know the only person that cared. Not Remus " I will leave you alone in your grieve and then my stans will go cry online how I was always professor lupin and never uncle Moony" Lupin.

[kane5-5]

Hopping on the Propaganda I Will Not Fall For trend:

Dog person Sirius

Intimidating Regulus

Nonchalant Remus

Pandora Rosier

Seer Pandora

Abusive Lucius

Immodest Bellatrix (elaboration)

Idiot James and Sirius

Gold digger Lily

Regulus’ Voldemort shrine = research

Pinterest tattoos on Sirius Black

Abusive Lyall Lupin

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi, I'm curious about why you think that voldemort wanted to recruit lily potter as a death eater. Is it because the prophecy said "thrice defied him"? (defy also means escape, defeat, challenge, disobey etc. but i dont think it means deny) I don't get why someone would try to recruit a muggleborn to commit a genocide against other muggleborns and muggles. Like, nobody asked hermione to join in the 2nd war. And how would the other pureblooded death eaters react to that? wouldn't voldemort lose a little bit credibility with that? Make it make sense?

Hi 👋

First of all, "defy" can 100% mean they chose not to join the Death Eaters:

As they resisted/disregarded Voldemort's offer, I think this is a valid usage of the word.

Second, this idea came from this JKR interview:

MA: What about the three times-- The thrice-defying of Voldemort? JKR: Of James and Lily? MA: Of Neville's parents. Well, James and Lily, too. JKR: It depends how you take defying, doesn't it. I mean, if you're counting, which I do, anytime you arrested one of his henchmen, anytime you escaped him, anytime you thwarted him, that's what he's looking for. And both couples qualified because they were both fighting. Also, James and Lily turned him down, that was established in "Philosopher's Stone". He wanted them, and they wouldn't come over, so that's one strike against them before they were even out of their teens.

(Source)

Now, I tried to find the PS quote JKR referenced, and this is what I could find:

“Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an’ girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You- Know-Who never tried to get ‘em on his side before…probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side. “Maybe he thought he could persuade ‘em…maybe he just wanted ‘em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ — an’ —”

(PS, Ch4)

So, we know Hagrid didn't know of any recruitment attempt, if it happened, or why Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow. And it's another case of JKR not remembering what she wrote in post-book interviews, and another thing she didn't really think through.

Because Hagrid really doesn't know much, his statment isn't all that relaiable, and even then, he suggests Voldemort would've wanted to recruit Lily if he thought he could, so really — it's up to personal headcanon and wheather you take JKR's word of god on the matter as canon or not.

All the "thrice defying" has a lot of space for headcanon and speculation to come in since JKR didn't really think it through. Personally, I am not a fan of the idea that "every arrest of a DE" counts as "defy", but I'm not opposed to the idea that Voldemort offered James and Lily to join him as teens (when they were still at school, probably).

What's important to note for further speculation is that Voldemort doesn't really believe in blood purity.

He's a half-blood, and he thinks he's better than all his followers. Voldemort repeatedly shows he doesn't actually care about implementing anti-Muggleborn laws, his followers are invested in no, is he interested in ruling at all (a. He wasn't in the UK when the ministry fell. b. He remained so unpresent that Umbridge could walk around with his Horcrux and claim it as her own family heirloom without dying. c. Lupin implies all the muggleborn registration laws from DH weren't around the first time, again, Voldemort isn't there, these are laws his followers made. He, personaly, doesn't give a shit and doesn't care if muggleorns, muggles, purebloods or whoever lives or dies. It doesn't concern him in the slightest. He actually personally kills more purebloods than muggleborns). If he found a muggleborn talented and powerful enough to be worth his time, he wouldn't mind that he's/she's a muggleborn. Voldemort cares first and foremost about power:

There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it…

(PS, Ch17)

If you have power, anything else doesn't really matter. And even power is optional if you're useful to him in some other way. Talking about PS, Quirrell was a weak wizard and the Muggle Studies Professor — but he was useful, and in the right place at the right time, so Voldemort recruited him.

Hagrid clearly believes in PS Voldemort would recruit muggleborns, and JKR mentioned it in other interviews, so she is pretty consistent about that:

‘Snape’s ancestry is hinted at. He was a Death Eater, so clearly he is no Muggle-born, because Muggle-borns are not allowed to be Death Eaters, except in rare circumstances.’

(Edinburgh Book Festival, 15 August 2004)

By the time he would be potentially recruiting super-talented muggleborns, he would have a lot of control over his followers. We see he has no problem torturing and punishing them, and from how Karkaroff and other DE respond to Voldemort in GoF, it's clear his treatment of them we see is nothing new.

So, if Voldemort says the muggleborn stays, some DE are definitely going to feel various ways about it — but none of them are going to question him, that would be suicide. It would cause some unrest, but the likes of Lucius Malfoy would shut up out of self-preservation, and the likes of Bellatrix Lestrange would justify Voldemort's behaviour in their head somehow.

So, I don't see that part as contradictory at all, actually.

And I don't think Hermione is a good analog here. Hermione is known to be good friends with Harry Potter, and she has done nothing to attract Voldemort’s attention besides being around Harry — Lily, as a young witch, probably didn't do anything noteworthy either, but my headcanon is that Snape vouched for her.

We know Voldemort recruited as young as 16-year-olds:

and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve . . .

(DH, Ch10)

So, it's possible, and likely, Snape and Mulciber, and others were already getting involved with Voldemort in their 5th year. By SWM (end of the Mauraders' 5th year), Snape would've already been 16 (born January 9th, 1960), and possibly already a Death Eater officially, or about to become one that summer. Lily's talents might have been vouched for by him, the fact that she was part of the Slug Club, which Voldemort would be familiar with, will be another mark on her talent.

(James is easier to explain why he would be a potential recruit as a rich pureblood who likes hexing people)

So, I can see it working, though I don't think it's super likely. But I like the idea that the first time James and Lily defied Voldemort was each on their own separately, before they were a couple — I don't know, I just like that as a concept. That they defied him on their own and not just together.

[maxdibert]

Honestly, when it comes to Severus and Lily, things always get heated. I mean, I don’t mind people saying Severus was a bad friend because I don’t think his relationship with her was healthy. I believe he was emotionally dependent on her, constantly seeking personal validation through her attention. I think he was desperate because he felt she was the only person who truly saw him for who he was, and he was probably a little jealous—like any kid his age. And I don’t think that’s a healthy way to build a friendship or form a solid emotional foundation, because his attachment to Lily was based purely on an idealized version of her, nothing more. And I suppose he had too many issues and traumas to realize that Lily had needs he wasn’t meeting and concerns he didn’t understand.

But we always focus on Severus, and I’d like to highlight how incredibly hypocritical people are when they claim that Lily was a good friend who gave everything for Severus and that he didn’t reciprocate. Because that’s bullshit. Lily never actually defended him. She could have hexed James or fought back with her wand instead of half-smiling at him and then acting offended—but she didn’t. Lily could have taken Severus’s concerns about the Marauders seriously, considering those boys had been torturing him for years, instead of calling him obsessive like the gaslighter she was. Lily could have acknowledged how terribly James had treated Severus all those years instead of suggesting that Severus should be grateful to his own bully for saving his life. But she didn’t—because she didn’t care.

She was also a teenager, and like any teenager, she was self-centered, and her own problems clouded her judgment. She wasn’t as empathetic as people make her out to be, because if she had been, she wouldn’t have acted the way she did. Lily saw Severus as a burden, as a misfit who only caused problems for her social image and popularity. She wasn’t a devoted friend; she was a girl who no longer had anything in common with her childhood friend and didn’t know how to get rid of him.

And the fact that people brush this aside or have the audacity to claim that it was all Severus’s fault is honestly ridiculous, because she sure as hell didn’t put in any effort to keep the relationship from falling apart either.

[danadiadea]

Severus’ isolation after the exam is one of the reasons Lily’s attempt to get him to abandon his Slytherin ‘friends’ has never sat that well with me.

Because I get why she doesn’t like Mulciber, obviously, but instead she’s asking him to alienate them for…who, exactly? She can’t even be bothered to wait to exchange two words after something really important to him, she’s off with her girlfriends without a second thought, and there’s no indication Sev was hoping she’d wait so clearly this is a well established pattern (strange, considering he’s supposedly a possessive incel stalker, that he doesn’t interfere with her social life!) She appears to have made no moves to introduce Severus to any non-Slytherins or join any clubs together. She’s so over him that she doesn’t even address him personally while her housemates have him strung up by the ankle. And obviously he’s picked up on her indifference, or he wouldn’t be begging for reassurance they’re still best friends. I find it hard to condemn him for not cutting off the Slytherins for Lily’s sake when Lily’s so chronically unsupportive and unavailable. Total isolation does horrible things to people’s brains.

And then of course there’s the fact that Lily’s crush + hangers on have ensured the only space in the castle potentially free from violence is the Slytherin dorms they can’t enter, where Sev is also at considerable disadvantage as a son of a muggle sleeping alongside pureblood supremacists. But this also doesn’t cross her mind. I get that she’s a teenage girl, but 16 year olds are not incapable of putting themselves in another’s shoes! (I’ll add the disclaimer before I get jumped on that ofc I understand that Severus fails to do this for Lily too).

Severus is an incel stalker, but Lily has a friendgroup that talks shit on Severus and that clearly is her priority, but he does not interfere or try to prevent her from hanging out with them, unlike Lily who tells him to not spend time with the only people sho seem to at least somewhat accept him (by the way she doesn't assign anything bad to Avery, and I find it interesting that Sirius doesn't mention Mulcibier when talking about "the gang" at all, but he mentions Avery too. Maybe Avery was closer to Severus, and he was a more decent person overall? also Lily says she detests "some" people he's hanging around with, so maybe there were Slytherins she didn't dislike that much, like Rosier and Wilkies? I don't trust Sirius too much though, he mentions Bella and Rodolfus who couldn't possibly study with Snape).

Lily not adressing Severus during the SWM irks me so much. Like this is the №1 reason I support the "Lily was a deeply imperfect friend" agenda even more than "you're ungrateful to James Potter" stuff, honestly. Like this is charity what she does, not backing up her friend. Not only she doesn't attack them, but she doesn't help him to get his wand back or unbind him – all her attention is clearly on James. Severus isn't treated like a subject of the social dynamics, but more like an object of pity, and we know he's very proud. And I wonder if their friendship was already so rotten, or if Lily and Severus weren't known to be very close publically?... At least the adult Marauders never refer to it, so it wasn't a very big part of Lily or Severus from their perspective it seems. Clearly it was known they were friends, but she might not want to be associated with Severus more than necessary in their later years, since her other friends disliked him. At least that would explain why doesn't she approach him after the exam or vice versa, why she seems to be very, very impersonal during SWM, and why no-one ever (except Petunia) refers to Snily friendship from a Watsonian perspective.

Severus begging for the reassurance they are best friends😭😭���� Too bad we don't hear the previous lines of theirs, I wonder to which phrase/situation he reacted like that. They probably discussed something related to his affiliations, but I don't think it was about Avery and Mulcibier all the way before – she seems to bring them up rather then continue a long lasting argument against them (also this is obvious it's not an argument they have for the fifth year straight. like Severus couldn't possibly be closely associated with them for a long time before that scene). I can imagine a lot of things from which the dialogue might go to Mulcibier and then to the Marauders, but yeah, that "I thought we were supposed to be friends" line sounds desperate asf... And how he can't contain his happiness when she says she hates James, and forgets about defending Mulcibier! All it had required was Lily supporting him in his rightful anger the tiniest bit!

Severus was pretty selfish as a teen, but no-one cared for him. Was even he himself supposed to not care about him? Well, he'd just die then (non-figuratuvely at this point). Severus was a kid from a violent neighbourhood, with abusive and neglectful parents, didn't have any really close friends who'd stand up for him, and his abusers were supported by the school authorities and the student body. Of course he would do what serves him best in that situation, which is sticking to Avery and Mulcibier! Again, Severus' loneliness in SWM shows they weren't emotionally close at all at least by then, he probably just spent time with them (as you've said, they live together and every place in that school that is not Slytherin dorm room is pretty unsafe for Severus, and also the Marauders might not attack him with other slytherins around, when we know that Lily's presence only heated James up from his glances to her in SWM) and Lily asked Severus to abandon even that without giving him any other options.

Also, my favourite ignored thing about it is that this argument arises just after the Prank had happened "the other day". Might a silenced murder attempt intensify Severus' wish to support Mulcibier, I wonder?

[velvet4510]

I have to say it: Harry being the only known survivor of the Killing Curse makes no sense. It is utterly implausible that in the entire long history of magic, Lily was the FIRST person to EVER protect someone from that curse with a sacrifice. How many parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, etc. have existed across history? Countless. And yet NONE of them were EVER saved by loving sacrificial protection until October 31, 1981?

It didn’t have to be this way. It could’ve been written that he was the first BABY to survive the curse, and it was previously presumed that infants were too small and helpless to possibly be defended from such a powerful curse in any way. That still could’ve earned him the title of “The BOY Who Lived.”

But making it so he’s the ONLY PERSON to have EVER survived the curse because of a sacrifice? That’s just silly.

[wisteria-lodge]

2 things about Lily

It's obvious that she was the one to defeat Voldemort the first time around, not Harry, but Rowling refuses to elaborate on the spell, saying that she cast it accidentally (which... yeah sure, but then she created a world where only one mother and child could do it out of love... like did other children that suffered were not loved enough? oh i so dislike that). I don't know why Rowling does it. Like I always wanted it to be an actual spell that she (and James) researched and did as part of their back-up plan, but noooooo. A woman? Win against the big bad? In the 90s?? Noooo

Lily grew up with two people that we get to know intimately, and loved them dearly. Two very miserable, envious people, who likely hid their accents and the fact that they are of working class, two people who did everything, and sacrificed many things in order to be around characters who where wealthy. Two social climbers. And you know what Lily also did? This has to be deliberate. Like, I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think that Lily definitely wasn't as insane about social climbing as Severus and Petunia (I consider social mobility to be a positive thing!!), buuut she too married into money. So there is that.

I find it sad that the prospect of Lily being crazy ambitious and wanting to have better things are always portrayed as bad in fics, if it is discussed at all. You could have made her into a person who dreams about making it and give her a conflict about marrying into money, feeling like she will become a fake, and still craving that security! But nooooooo. Pefect perfection or a sleazy seductress, nothing else ever

Extremely good points. Wanting social stability is just a real, relatable thing, and it's got to be a lot for Lily, being told you're magic... and ADDITIONALLY learning that the power structure of the magical world that you live in now is super prejudiced against you? And there is an active dark wizard *currently* targeting people like you?

Also the sacrificial magic being cast accidentally never made sense. Harry does the same thing (I guess) on purpose at the end, with the result that all of Voldemort's spells have trouble "sticking," because Harry sacrificed himself for EVERYBODY? But I mean Regulus also sacrificed himself to protect people from Voldemort, he didn't have to die. Dumbledore willingly died to protect... Harry, Draco, Snape? Shouldn't that have had some magical effect?

It honestly would have been *so* much easier to say that Lily defeated Voldemort with a spell that sacrificed the caster's life. That's very cool, old-magic vibes.

But... this slots into an larger trend with the way JKR writes passivity and self-negation as heroic traits. The best example of this is Newt Scamander, her hero with the central traits "neutral" and "pacifist." But even with Harry... there's a reason he doesn't level up his core spells, and is most heavily associated with a disarming spell that he learns in year 2 and a shield spell he learns in year 3. JKR actively doesn't want him to be a combat character. It is *true* that Harry does not cast a single spell on-page in the entire first book. He does more magic later, but that original tendency is still there: there's a reason most of Harry's level-ups consist of loot given to him by loved ones, and not so much skills that he improves. JKR's ethos on power (expressed through Dumbledore) is that the people who handle power best are the people who don't want it.

And unfortunately... leveling up your spells on purpose... now that sounds like something that a person who WANTS POWER would do. Casting super duper powerful spells accidently (which harry also does, constantly) (and Lily does, of course) ... now *that* is much more morally pure.

[regheart]

Do you have any fic recommendations that are jily but also have a jily critical tone to them (like it isn’t bash-y, but just something that doesn’t depict them as perfect and shows some flaws in their relationship)? Thank you!

anon, i think you might suffer from the same anguish as me. i love jily (i really do!) but sometimes i get tired of romcom plots and enemies to lovers and school sweethearts and i wish instead that i had something to explore the gruesome reality of war or the suffocating boredom of hiding. or even, maybe, something that is more honest about the obstacles of their get together, that doesn't ignore snape or the different social standing between lily and james or the war

fluff and yearning are essencial to the ecosystem of a fandom, i just want to get the other stuff half as easy

so i picked a few fics that diverge a bit from the genre conventions of your typical romance fic, and instead deal with the more human aspects of lily and james as characters and realistic troubles they might have faced during the war

morbid little game by darkbluedark has james and lily discussing how all of their friends would die before voldemort got to them, which is the bleakest pillowtalk ever, but a darkly funny fic

i desperately need to reread like a rabid dog by emerqldv and catch up with the sequel, but i remeber being so captivated by the messy of being essentially a child soldier and just learning to live a life as an adult. beautifully written!

the art of dying by the_wig_is_a_metaphor takes some creative liberties with a brand of dark lily, and because james is the narrator there's a huge dissonance between the two of them. unexpectedly, this is probably one of the funniest fics i've ever read

pretty white smile by clarewithnoi is a story about jily getting together in school but there's so much about what lily faces as a muggleborn that just makes it more realistic and more interesting

one thing (or the other) by rougeatre is another lily centric work, this time focusing on her relationship with other women. the section on bathilda has the most interesting jily commentary imo!

privilege and prejudice by acciosalmon explores a landmark on jily's relationship affected by the bigotry of others "and a well-meaning fiancé ignorant of his privilege", a likely fault for james to have

and my last rec is an ongoing fic that has just started and i only finished the last published chapter this morning but i'm very very excited to see how it goes. an ever fixed mark by thestralsofspinnersend is a portrait of a complicated relationship in complicated times. lily and james both feel very human and the secondary characters (remus, mary and snape being my favorites so far) are rich and complex on their own

[severus-snaps]

I actually wonder whether or not it would've been better for Snape if Lily had just like... ignored the whole thing in SWM. I know it wouldn't have been especially 'heroic' of her or whatever, and that's probably what JKR was going for, but where Sirius was doing it for fun, James was doing it to capture Lily's attention.

If she hadn't given James (and Snape) the time of day, James probably would've gotten bored eventually - at which point I expect he'd have called Sirius off. After all, it's not very interesting tormenting someone who's already been disarmed, magically tied up, and gagged. They'd probably have just left him there, tied up, until it wore off.

But with Lily there, it all escalates.

James is distracted by Lily, during which time the impediment jinx wears off. Because Lily is there, Snape is probably even more compelled to retaliate. After Snape cuts James' cheek, James hoists Snape into the air, then drops him at Lily's command.

Thoroughly humiliated and emasculated by this point, and with no way of defending himself magically, Snape lashes out at Lily. He's a wounded animal biting the person trying to help him. The Marauders are untouchable; he couldn't mock their looks, their wealth, or their popularity, like they do to him; he can't hex them, because he has no wand; moments ago, he couldn't even move. With no control over the situation, no way to defend himself, he does only thing he thinks he can do to even remotely 'come out on top' in this situation, and verbally attacks Lily.

And then he pays the price by being stripped in front of a crowd. Not to labour the wounded animal metaphor, but if a stressed and wounded animal bit someone, and you turn around and hit it - and you were also the one to hurt it in the first place - you're not a very nice person. If a wounded animal bit you and you left it there to die... well, first go to A&E for a rabies shot, and second, that animal was very unlucky that you were the one that found it.

I also just think a more 'heroic' thing to do (if that was JKR's intention) would be to either sneak up and hex James and Sirius before they spotted her (they were obviously wary of her wandwork and she was supposedly a skilled witch, so she could've done), or, after the 'Mudblood' incident, to hex James and free Snape just to spite him. Like a, "Don't need my help? Watch this Mudblood save you." type of deal.

And then she can never speak to him again, and the story continues without me thinking that really, she didn't help at all by just standing there, and why did Snape need to be grateful

[fannedandflawless]

Lily Evans: Golden Girl or Something Sharper?

📌 A soft disclaimer for Snily and Marauders fans: this isn’t about bashing anyone’s favourite. It’s a perspective—a way of holding the light at a different angle. I say this as someone who once stood firmly on the Snily side, and now simply asks harder questions with quieter hands.

Lily Evans is often portrayed as a paragon of virtue: brilliant, kind, and principled. But beneath the immaculate sheen of this seemingly flawless figure lies a quiet arsenal of emotional precision, silences sharpened to a blade, and decisions that suggest something colder than mere goodness. Was she truly the golden girl of the wizarding world—or someone who curated her own narrative, and cut clean anyone who threatened the edges?

Darling, it’s not a fall from grace if she never planned to descend.

1. The Severus Snape Fallout: More Than a Single Word

The moment Lily walks away from Severus Snape is typically framed as a principled boundary after a grievous insult. And yet, the truth has more layers than a well-enchanted onion.

Snape and Lily were inseparable for years, bound long before Hogwarts sorted them into separate destinies. He was, for a time, her only true confidant.

Her final words to him—"You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine"—are less a boundary and more a guillotine. No door left ajar. No room for return.

And let’s be clear: this wasn’t after he became a Death Eater. It was before. The slur wasn’t the crime—it was the confirmation.

So no, she didn’t just end a friendship over a word. She ended it because Severus became—publicly—a version of himself she had no desire to explain away. And once her trust cracked, the rest of him fell. Gracefully, but irreversibly.

2. The Petunia Problem: Sisterhood in Ruins

People love to reduce Petunia to just bitter and jealous—but that’s such a convenient myth. She was a child too. And her sister got plucked into a magical destiny while she was left behind in a perfectly ordinary world with no map and no warning.

In a letter to Sirius, Lily notes that Petunia was “being a bit more pleasant than usual, though she still won’t talk to me directly.” Which reads not as care but condescension—with just a splash of smug.

Lily may have loved her sister, but did she ever truly see her? Validate her? Or was Petunia just part of a life Lily was perfectly happy to outgrow?

And to make matters more theatrical, Lily later brought James into that same household—a man who clashed gloriously with Vernon. Did Lily intervene? Attempt peacekeeping? No record of it. The silence says enough. And silence, in her hands, is never neutral.

The tragedy wasn’t just that Petunia was left behind. It was that Lily didn’t look back—not really. She didn’t throw a rope. She didn’t offer a bridge. She simply kept walking, robes pressed, spine unbent.

3. So Who Is Lily Evans?

To understand Lily is to accept a paradox:

A principled, brilliant, but emotionally exacting woman. Someone praised for her elegance and ethics—yet rarely questioned for her lack of softness once crossed.

She picked the "right path"—and if you didn’t match it, you were cut from the frame.

She loved fiercely, but you had to meet her at the level she deemed acceptable.

For her, forgiveness was not a kindness. It was a credential you had to earn.

Nowhere is this clearer than in her final chapter with Severus. He apologised—honestly, humiliatingly. He waited outside Gryffindor Tower, pleaded, laid bare his regret. And still, Lily never opened the door. Not even a crack. And if that door ever squeaked on its hinges, rest assured she hexed it shut.

Regret, for her, was not a passport. Once crossed, you were disqualified. Permanently.

She saw pain—but unless it matched her internal rubric of morality, she left it untouched. She wasn’t cold, exactly. But she kept her warmth tightly rationed. And heaven help you if you failed her. Because that sort of fall from Lily’s favour? Darling, it’s irreversible—with no parting gift but poise.

Was it grace? Was it pride? Or simply the comfort of always being right?

⸻

Lily Evans isn’t a saint. She’s not a villain either. But oh, she is a masterclass in controlled distance and curated silence. The kind of woman whose restraint stings more than most people’s rage.

She didn’t just live by a code—she monogrammed it, framed it, and ensured no emotion would dare smudge the edges. Not because she was heartless—no, never that—but because she refused to be made messy by someone else’s chaos.

And maybe that’s the truth none of us want to sit with: that the boy who lived owes his life to a woman who loved on principle, but lost on tenderness. That her silence? It wasn’t passive. It was precise.

And it cut deeper than she’ll ever be blamed for.

[sunnysaystuff]

would like to say that i'm chairwoman of the give women a personality 2025 movement btw. rb to join

[kane5-5]

whats ur favourite show/movie

whats ur opinion on jily/jegulus and wolfstar cos of the prongsfoot obsession

if there was a marauders movie that had nothing to do with the HAG, what would be ur dream plot?

1. I cannot explain to any sane person the chokehold The Walking Dead had on me. It’s bad. Also Shameless!

2. Oh boy well I love jily! Anytime I’m reading a fic and I see that jily is a side pairing rather than the usual jegulus I could do a back flip. Jily is the original, jily is pining, jily is fighting for each other despite differences and I love it.

But… I don’t like jegulus. I don’t like the characterization of either character, particularly regulus. I don’t like the way the fans behave (you know which ones I’m talking about), I don’t like all the issues that are ignored with the ship and the fandom that shine through with jegulus. I actually have jegulus filtered out just because I was starting to consider just leaving the fandom because it was making me upset the way people acted about it

3. If her and public demand has nothing to do with it, definitely canon complacent Prongsfoot. One movie, kind of coming of age, two queer besties in the 70s that are in love but damned from the start. Ugh, I could yap about it

[princelysnape]

october 32nd, 1981

the funeral of james and lily potter after being murdered in cold blood by you-know-who. may god rest their souls😔

[velvet4510]

Hot take: As a writer myself, I feel like JKR’s book narration bashed readers over the head with Snape’s “love” for Lily way too much, rather than respect the readers’ intelligence to put two and two together about how he really felt for her based on the content of his memories of her. Love may be the series’ theme, but by the time of Deathly Hallows, the target audience is mature enough to not need his feelings for her to be spelled out. If I were the editor, I would cut Dumbledore’s line “if you truly loved her…” and replace it with something more like “if you’re serious about this” or “if you mean what you said before” as an implication. And Harry’s later speech to Voldemort could’ve just connected everything back to love by keeping it succinct to “he stopped being loyal to you the moment you threatened my mother.” (That would allow Harry to still acknowledge the significance of Snape’s choice without the narrative making it an excuse to put him on an undeserved pedestal.) Snape’s “always” and the reveal of the doe patronus is a moment that speaks for itself - that moment, as the climax of all his other memories of his time with Lily, should’ve been the maximum description of his feelings for her. “Always” sums everything up more than any blatant “you loved her” or “he loved my mother” ever could. Any literate reader would understand from the “Always” how important she was to him - and that keeps it even more ambiguous for people to decide/headcanon if it was romantic or platonic. The text never needed to spell it out. Less is more.

[danadiadea]

I think that Mary, on top of not being Lily's friend, maybe wasn't even her dormmate. Because, you don't see Harry saying "Neville Longbottom" when talking abt him to someone, he just calls him by his first name. While Lily clearly calls Mary by "Mary Macdonald", they must've been sooo distant

Now thinking abt it, in Prince's Tale she says "Mary said" so maybe the discussion was the first time she brought up Mary

I mean technically it's also possible that Lily had two friends named Mary, so she specified it for Severus, but that is a pretty big coincidence for the school with so few kids. On the other hand, that's a common name.

That does look weird from a Watsonian perspective for sure. I think Mary was intended as a part of Lily's gaggle of girls we see during SWM, and jkr just didn't think it through. Like she's the only female character Lily mentions (twice), and they were close enough for Mary to complian to Lily that Mulcibier tried to hex her (or maybe Lily saw it?). It also tracks with Lily's friends judging snily friendship, but at least Mary passed his message, so that's something. Also, Lily either sent her to tell Severus that she doesn't want to hear his apologies, or Severus recognised Mary's face and decided that she'd pass his plea to Lily (on the other hand, maybe any Gryffindor student would do for him at the time). But yeah, if she was Lily's very close, well known friend, Lily wouldn't add her last name.

And honestly, that tracks with Lily saying "It was Dark Magic, and if you think it's funny..." when Severus says it was nothing and just a laugh (considering he was almost murdered a few days ago, I also wouldn't have the resource to have empathy to some random girl at the time if I were him, especially since he wasn't even there), instead of saying "Severus! She is my friend! She was hurt! How can you say that?". Her retort is more about Severus than about Mary! She accuses him of supporting Dark Magic, she doesn't care all that much about Mary and her feelings. The only thing that makes hexing Mary "unfunny" according to her is Dark Magic.

Or maybe Mulcibier was a loser and failed at being a bully, since he "tried" to do something and not "did". Like maybe he partially sucseeded, or maybe Mary held her own against Mulcibier and was actually OK. I think Mulcibier was more like Draco then James, firstly cause Lily mentioned he attaked Mary himself and not with a group of people, and secondly, cause if he was a long term bully and targeted Mary for years or something, she wouldn't bring just that one incident as an argument against Mulcibier. She'd ask Severus how can he hang out with someone who always hexes her friends and is abhorrent to Mary. Mulcibier probably had a shitty sence of humour and shared James' belief that hexing people in the hallways was funny, but I don't imagine him being much worse than Draco from the info we know. To be fair, Lily's perspective on bullying is... interesting, since she minimizes what Marauders do to her "best friend" just because they don't use Dark Magic, so maybe she also minimizes all the aspects of the bullying Mary goes through, aside from the Dark Magic.

Anyway, I think Lily and Mary were classmates kinda like Hermione and Parvati, and Mary was a part of Lily's girl group, but they weren't very close, and Severus had barely known her, despite being friends with Lily. That feeds my "Snily weren't objectively very close at Hogwarts" belief too.