#literally I’d been struggling for a bit and then THIS IS SO GOOFY but realized tango hadn’t uploaded in a WHILE and it was….ok for him??

[lunarcrown]

I’m a bit of an art block rn and I’m gonna stop trying to force through it and just relax!

I’ve got many a fun idea and plans so I can’t wait to show y’all when I’m released from art block grip!!!!!! 💖💖💖 but relaxation and refocus so I can make stuff I love is KEY

[primewritessmut]

🛒🎢👀🧠 (Mobius AND LokI 'cause I'm greedy) 🤲✅

Oi! Look at our cute little matching PFPs!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I’ve been told I put a lot of knives in my stories. And also that they’re very brutal in their way which, for real, was something that had to be POINTED OUT TO ME because I had no idea. It’s one of those things, I think, where you’re just trucking along in your own little brain thinking your fucked up little ideas are normal and then someone rolls up and gets a look inside and is like, “wow, this place is really bringing down the property value for the rest of the neighborhood.”

Other themes that I am aware that I write: Seeing the Other, Love in Spite of (and Sometimes Because of) Flaws, and Everyone is a Little Bit of an Asshole.

I tend to use ocean and space imagery when talking about love and the realization that one character is in love with another. There’s something about the vastness and unknowability of those two places that I think is very akin to how we understand love (i.e. not very well).

And I’m a sucker for scenes where characters help each other get dressed. There’s just something so domestic and intimate about it while at the same time having implications of staking your claim on this person in a subtle way (“wear this shirt that I picked out for you”) or offering them some form of protection against the world. I don’t think I write it as much as I would like to, but I do know it's popped up a few times.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hmm. she’s not going to die today, maybe? Mostly because there were a few times while writing that story that I audibly gasped at something either Peter or Wade had done. It’s also a true enemies to lovers story which, I think, is always inherently a ride.

In terms of just buckling in and enjoying the ride, though, I’d have to give the title to A Particular Set of Skills. I knew it was probably the last time I’d write those characters and so I gave them a lot of free rein to just be balls to the wall and silly and bloody and terrible and funny.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

DUDE. You already know about literally every wip I have going.

I don’t know which one I’m most excited about but I’m currently in my Lokius era and have two that I think will be fun to write.

There’s a post-canon fic for Sylvie (working title: love is an apocalypse event) where she meets her own Mobius variant (Margot) in Broxton which I think I’m most stoked for as a chance to write more wlw/sapphic stuff. Well, that and getting back to writing something a little more antagonistic because, let’s face it, Sylvie is the equivalent of a wasp trying to fly up your nose.

And a modern Mobius/Loki AU (working title: Midori Sour) where Mobius is a bartender/restaurant manager at the bar where Loki keeps bringing all his first dates. And, of course, Mobius enjoys watching because (1) Loki is nice to look at and (2) all the dates tend to end in disaster.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Mobius is on the ace spec (probably demi) and he’s a service top. Also, that goofy little dude has a choking kink (being choked) that I’m excited to explore at some point.

Loki likes to watch as much as Mobius does. There are so many moments in canon where Loki is looking at Mobius or paying attention to what he does when it makes zero sense to do so. As I think you said when reading one of the Daggers chapters: “that boy is lost in the sauce.”

As far as the two of them together? They absolutely, positively utilize Loki’s shape-shifting abilities when fucking. I think it embarrasses Loki at first, but Mobius is so excited and enthusiastic about it that— Oh wait. Heeeeey, new fic idea. (I’m sure that already exists, but I’m going to be thinking about it a lot today anyway.)

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

The struggle of trying to find a snippet that I haven’t already c/p into your inbox the second I wrote it…

He won’t remember this but Loki will, and Mobius can’t decide which is worse.

“Hey,” he says, cupping Loki’s jaw, “it’s me.”

“I know it’s you. I know, but—“

“No.” Mobius pulls Loki’s face down to his and presses his forehead against Loki's. “No. It’s always me. Along every point in the timeline I give a shit about you, Loki. Don’t forget that.”

Loki’s shoulders drop on an exhale and Mobius smooths his palms down the sides of Loki’s neck to his drooping shoulders. Loki leans in closer, tucking his face into the crook of Mobius’s neck while Mobius threads his fingers through strands of raven black hair.

A sad laugh heats the side of Mobius’s throat. “It would be a lot easier if you didn’t,” Loki mumbles. “But I’m far too selfish to wish for it.”

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Lists of threes. Like, I know threes are a thing in literature but I am HYPER aware of whenever I'm listing out traits or giving examples of something in exposition. There's a rhythm to it that feels broken if it's not a list of three.

I know there are snippets of dialogue and specific phrases I use over and over again, but I'm coming up blank on them right now. I'm sure the next time I'm editing they are all I'm going to see, though.

x

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[zmalkarnar1]

Kuroo x Male Reader: Oblivious

Something I posted a little while back on my deviantart account. Figured I’d throw it here as I write a bit more. 

You watched as he stuffed his practice partners spike, sending the ball reeling back towards the gym floor. He landed with a cheer and a predatory smirk which gave his eyes a mischievous glint. On the other side of the net, Lev Haiba released a frustrated groan, as once again the Scheming Captain managed to shut him down. The predatory grin followed the rookie, reminding him that he was years away from being able to best the raven haired middle blocker. 

Was this really your Kuroo? Was this really your Tetsuro?  Well, he wasn't really yours, but you've known him longer than anyone here...

You were neighbors, born only days apart, and your mother and his father were close friends from their college days. And while he had his grandparents, both of you were being raised by single parents and you often found yourself in the care of his family, or him yours. Born only days apart, the two of you spent almost all of your time together. You can't remember a time you didn't know the raven haired male. But was this really him? 

"Come on Kuroo, let's go," you whined, pulling his arm and dragging him out of his house.

Kuroo just shook his head, dragging his feet across the ground as you pulled him.

“Please,” you begged, “I don’t want to go alone.”

You moved behind him and began pushing him towards the sidewalk, doing anything and everything to move to black haired eight year old.

You were shy too. You didn’t like new places, new people, lots of people. A lot of things scared you. But Kuroo. Kuroo was petrified of anything and anyone he didn’t know well. Literally froze up in class, at the park. He was so timid he made you look like the life of the party. 

“No…” he said, his voice soft, his tone begging you to leave him be.

“Please Tetsu,” you begged again, going to your knees, “I just want at least one of my friends at the field with me,”

“One of your friends? I’m your only friend,” he responded like a whip, a shy smirk on his face, hinting at what lies beneath his hardened shell. It was gone in a flash, and you only stared, stunned at the sudden crack from your oldest friend. Your only friend, as he so rudely pointed out. You smiled despite that. It was rare even you got to see that smirk, to hear that sharp wit he hid behind his walls.

“Tetsu, please. If you come….I’ll join the youth volleyball you keep asking me to. Please Tetsu,” you pleaded, making your best puppy dog eyes.

“...Promise?”

“Promise!” You yelled out in glee, dragging him to your soccer field. And true to your word, the next day you followed Tetsu, or more he pushed you into the volleyball gym and the two of you joined the youth league. And before you knew he was gone, moved away, out of your life forever. You passed the next years in near isolation. Sure you had a few friends in soccer, some acquaintances at junior high, but no one, no one who knew you so well as Kuroo. That is, until midway through your second year of high school, you and your mother packed up and moved to Nekoma, and there he was.

You smiled at the memory, but something irritated you deep down as you stared at the captain’s smirk, his teammates patting him on the back for his block. You clenched your fist, this sudden frustration seeping into your muscles as you narrow your eyes at the volleyball team. 

That smirk, that smile, is mine! I saw it first, and it is mine.

The thought flashed across your mind and vanished in a rush as you struggled to comprehend the emotions running through your body. Having no idea where the thought came from, a blush began to rise in your cheeks, and you shook your head vigorously. You returned to your book, hoping beyond hope that Tetsu hadn’t noticed. You glanced up and saw his smirk, this time aimed at you. You smiled, involuntarily. Something about his smile always drove you to excitement. Then he winked, and your cheeks heated again. He definitely noticed. Of course he did. Great. You just couldn’t wait for the sass he was going to fire your way later. 

Damn it! What is going on with me?

You stepped out of the gym into the fresh evening air, slapping your cheeks to focus yourself. You were just watching your friend’s practice. That was it.

Pull it together!

You were pacing back and forth, oblivious to everything but this electricity jolting through you, mixing with a rising frustration that made you just want to scream. You didn’t even notice the gym doors open and close behind you. 

“Liked what you saw,”

You jumped, Kuroo’s voice jolting you out of your trance. You didn’t need to see his grin. You could hear the smirk in his voice. Fantastic. Now he was going to make fun of how jumpy you were. Just fantastic.

“You’re choosing a great time to fall apart. In front of the entire team too,” Kuroo smiled predatorily at you. You didn’t notice, but his eyes looked over you. All of you.

“They all saw,” you muttered miserably

“Hard to miss your cheeks turning into tomatoes. So, did you like what you saw?”

You stared dumbly at him, mouth slightly agape, eyes open wide as Kuroo towered above you on the steps to the gym. He looked very much like a jungle cat. A jungle cat that was about to devour his prey once he was done playing with it. Was he flirting with you? No. No. This was the Scheming Captain. He was screwing with you. And you were staring right at him. Great. Just grand. Now he’ll think you’ve gone dumb. 

“You aren’t usually this slow, (nickname). Come on, did you like it?”

“Tetsu,” you growled, anger seeping into your voice. You didn’t mind his banter usually. At times it was actually endearing. But sometimes, you wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

Then you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it anymore. A voice from deep inside you said, causing you to stumble again, your cheeks reddening once more. You clenched your fists and let out a quick yell. Oblivious to everything, you failed to notice that Kuroo took in every single detail. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, true concern replacing the confidence in his voice. He knew he might have pushed too far.

“I’m…I just need to get some rest,” you said, pushing past him to grab your stuff. “I’ll feel better tomorrow. See you later.”

Again, you failed to seem but he watched each step you took as you walked away, a knowing smile lightening his face. 

You walked home with Kenma. He must have snuck away from personal practice again. Usually when you didn’t have soccer you waited for him and Tetsu and the three of you went home together. Today, you just needed sleep, that was all. Kenma was engrossed in his game. That was fine. You didn’t want to talk anyways.

I’d just make a mess of it if I spoke anyways.

You were left to your thoughts, and by the time you neared home, you had finally calmed down. At least, until Kenma decided to open the floodgates. 

“So, when are you going to tell him?” Kenma blurted out, not looking up from his game.

“What?” you asked, confusion clear on your face.

Kenma stopped and looked up at you as if you were stupid.

“You like Tetsuro.”

It was the way he said it. Blunt, to the point, and matter of factly, that sent you stumbling over your own feet. He said it with a straight face too. And there went the walls again, the emotions breaking through and in a rush you felt the excitement, frustration, and confusion that had taken you almost an hour to wrestle under control. 

Thanks Kenma. Thanks a lot. 

“He’s my friend, of course I like him,” you say, trying to keep the blush off of your face.

Kenma looked at you with a blank face, like you were a moron trying to claim that the earth was flat. 

“I...no, I don’t like him, like him,” you stumble over your words, and Kenma just continues to stare at you, saying nothing.

“Really…” this time you weren’t even sure what you were saying. You just needed to say something to fill the awkward silence. And to make Kenma stop staring at you like that. But all he did was look at you with that deadpan stare, and your breath quickened and you waited for him to just nod his head and drop it.

“Wow.” Kenma muttered, “You’re so oblivious that not only do you completely miss his moves on you, but you don’t even realize how you stare at him with that damn goofy grin on your face,”

“I do not! Wait… his moves on me? No. That’s just Tetsu messing around,”

Kenma smacked his palm against his face, “Wow. You’re an idiot. You’re both so ignorant of each other's feelings. He’s stupid for you, and clearly you’re just plain stupid, so you’re perfect for each other. Tell him and get over this already. I’m sick of how awkward the two of you have been the past month.”

“We haven’t…” Kenma was already walking away and you were left with utter chaos in your mind and burning cheeks. You didn’t like, like Tetsu. Did you?

That night you heard pebbles knocking against your window. You knew it was him, checking to see if you were okay. But you weren’t ready for that. You pretended to be asleep, and eventually he turned in. All you could do was toss and turn, going in and out of a fitful sleep, Kenma’s words echoing through your mind. 

The three of you walked to school together in the morning, and an awkward silence rose between you. Well, you would have noticed if you weren’t falling asleep as you walked. Kuroo had asked if you were feeling any better. Too afraid to talk, you knew you’d say something stupid, you just shook your head and stared at the ground, hoping he wouldn’t see your slight blush. Small chance that. 

You broke off to your classes when you reached school, but of course, you and Tetsu just had to be in the same class. All you could do was stare at the back of his head. And then, of course, you had to scramble whenever he glanced back towards you. You knew you just made yourself look like an idiot. 

At lunch you joined in with the volleyball crowd. Not that you necessarily wanted to. It was a habit more than anything else. You sat at the periphery, back against a tree as they bantered and laughed at each other. You only half listened. You were lost in your own mind, enjoying the cool shade of the tree, staring up at the clouds about. Again, you were oblivious to Tetsu staring at you. 

“You’ve really changed, (nickname),” Kuroo said out of the blue.

You stared at him blankly, your eyes blinking. You had to stop doing that; you looked like a deer caught in headlights. Then you laughed. Loudly. And everyone turned to stare at you.

“I’ve changed?” You manage to mutter between breaths, holding your sides, “What about you…”

It was your first day at Nekoma High. You were furious; not only was it the middle of the year, but you had finally made a few friends on your school's soccer team before having to leave everything behind. You couldn’t blame your mother though. She couldn’t pass the opportunity by. It’s just, you’ve never made friends easily. You were always awkward and felt like an outcast. And just when you were finally feeling comfortable at your old school. You thought back on your elementary friend, and how everything felt so natural with him. It didn’t matter. He was long gone. 

As you reached the entrance to Nekoma, you were met by a short boy with brown hair. Really short. Shorter than you even. 

“Hey, I’m Yaku Morisuke. Are you (l/n, f/n)?”

You nodded.

“I’m in your class, and been asked to show you around. Come on,” he said, a friendly smile on his face.

“Thanks, Yaku-san,” you said, eyes to the ground, voice quiet.

You followed Yaku across the grounds of Nekoma High. Yaku spent the morning guiding you through the school. He talked constantly, but you just nodded numbly, and quietly thanked him after each stop. He even got you signed up in the soccer club once he pried out that you played. You weren’t going to join, but couldn’t find an easy way to say no, and allowed it to happen. By the time the lunch bell rang, you were ready to crawl in a corner by yourself and eat your lunch in peace and quiet, away from the eyes of the other students. Yaku was having none of it.

“You can join us for lunch (l/n). They’re a good bunch, if a little loud. Come on,”

You wanted to hide away alone, but couldn’t find a way to decline without seeming rude. Besides, he had a death grip on your arm, almost dragging you towards the volleyball club.

They were outside of the school, eating beneath a cluster of trees, casually tossing a volleyball back and forth. You took one look at them and stopped dead, stumbling to the ground as Yaku continued to pull you along. You stood back up. It couldn’t be. You had to be seeing things. But as you looked again, there he was, Tetsuro Kuroo.

He turned and saw you, and the volleyball fell to the grass below. You met his eyes, wide with shock, as were your own. Then you saw his smirk, just like when you were little, but full of confidence and charm.

“Tetsuro!” “(nickname)” You both yelled at the same time, your face lighting up with delight.

He covered the ground between you in three swift strides, picking you up and swinging you around in a tight embrace. It had been almost eight years.

“Tetsu...you’re...you’re huge,” you explain as he puts you down, unable to believe how much taller he was.

“And you’re a shrimp,” he says, his smirk growing. 

You pushed him away. Or at least, you tried to, but he was so solid. And full of confidence. You stepped back from him and glued your eyes to the ground when you realized the whole team was staring.

“This is (l/n, f/n)” Yaku said, “(l/n), this is the nekoma volleyball team. Although it seems as if you already know our rooster head over here.”

You smile at the nickname of Tetsu and give everyone a quick wave, but say nothing. Noticing your anxiety, Kuroo grabbed your arm and pulled you away.

“I’ll take him off your hands, shorty,” Kuroo called out to Yaku once you two were a safe distance away from the libero.

“(nickname), what are you doing here?” Kuroo asked when you found a secluded spot to eat.

“Well...Mom...Mom got a promotion and we had to move. We just got in the other day,”

“That’s great!” He smiled, “I’m glad you’re here. What, it’s been eight years? I’ll get you signed up for volleyball,”

“I...I don’t play volleyball anymore,” you say, a little afraid that you were disappointing him,

“Huh?” Tetsu looked confused, but it was gone in a moment, replaced by that wicked grin you saw on him before, “Oh, did you finally toughen up and join soccer?”

You nodded, “Yaku signed me up for the soccer club, but...I don’t think I’m going to go,” you said looking down, “It’s too much. But I’m relieved you’re here Tetsu. I thought I’d spend the year alone. Again.”

“Nonsense, you’re joining. You’ll feel better once you do something. Besides, you can’t be this shy for the rest of your high school career.” he said, putting his arm around you.

“Like you’re one to talk,” you mutter, blushing

“”What was that?”

“Nothing. Besides, I don’t have my cleats or shin guards with me.”

“Tomorrow then,” he said, oblivious to, or ignoring your pitiful look, “Anyways, what class are you in?”

You hand him your schedule. You were in the same class. At least you knew somebody.

“Great! I’ll take care of you from here on,” he said, brining you towards your shared class, “I’ll make you feel right at home here, just wait and see,”

You blushed, but it did feel good to have him with you. However, you couldn’t help but marvel; was this really your Tetsu?

And true to his word, Tetsu kept a close eye on you and a guiding hand nearby. Your friendship picked up right where it had been left, and Kuroo always made sure you were okay, even when you didn’t want him to. 

Like when you walked home and realized you were neighbors with him and Kenma. The next morning, before you left for school, he asked if you had your soccer gear. When you said no, he barged into your home, just like the old days, and grabbed you gear, ignoring the surprised look on your mother’s face.

“I’ll hold on to these,” he said, smirking, keeping them out of your reach so you couldn’t hide them during the day.

And at day’s end, you couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He dragged you (it seems you were going to have to get used to a lot of that), over to the soccer fields and announced that you were joining. And of course he had to take it a step further, claiming you were the best striker in the entire prefecture. Damn Kuroo. Everyday he ensured you made it to soccer before he wandered off to the volleyball gym. And he was right. You became accustomed to the team, and his volleyball crew, and, of course, got to experience the sharp side of Tetsu's silver tongue. But even then, deep down and hidden, you began to feel something more for Tetsu. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, your lips curled into a smile when he called your name. Small, subtle moments that slowly grew inside you. Little did you know how desperately he was waiting for you.

Your face heated up again as you realized the entire volleyball team was staring at you. You lowered your eyes and looked away, trying to control the red flash that was crawling across your face.

“I’m not the only one whose changed,” you said softly, looking at Kuroo from the corner of your eye.

“Will you come to practice again?” Tetsu asked.

You nodded, “Soccer is in break for now.” You had won the preliminaries and were waiting for the prefecture tournament to decide nationals. The team was taking a short break to recover after the long season, so you had nothing else to do.

“Cool,” Kurro said, and for once you noticed Tetsu’s sidelong glances at you throughout the rest of lunch. 

Damn you, Kenma, you thought as you looked away before you began blushing again. 

By the time you made it to the gym, the team was already well into practice. Tetsu gave you a big wave. Kenma just shook his head. You settled down in the corner of the gym, your book in your hands. But you found that today you couldn’t concentrate on the words. You’d muddle through the pages of the story, completely forgetting each and every word as your eyes returned to the volleyball team. Or, more accurately, to Tetsuro. You’d try to return to your book, but a paragraph later, your mind and eyes forced their way back to the Scheming Captain. You couldn’t shake what Kenma had said about the raven haired boy.

You put away the book. You weren’t getting anywhere anyways, and instead focused on the practice. Each time your eyes fell on your bed-headed friend you felt a jolt of energy, a shudder of electricity, a breath of life course through you, making your hair stand on its end. And when he’d catch you staring, he’d share his half-smile, half-smirk, as if he knew exactly the game you were playing. Somehow, as your whole body began to warm, you thought as if you were a mouse caught by this cunning black cat. 

And then he was back to his practice. To this team. His family. You’d watch with this sadness creeping into you. He was your best friend, but he had so many of his own. He didn’t need you too. As doubt touched your mind, you saw him flash his grin towards Lev, once again blocking his poorly struck spike, and all feelings of doubt and sadness fled from your mind as another feeling rushed through your veins. And no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake it. Each time he flashed his grin to his team, each time he looked at you and smiled, every time his predatory smirk was shared with another, a fire enveloped your blood. Your muscles tightened and your eyes narrowed, and finally you recognized it. Jealousy. You were jealous. 

That hunter’s smile, which you were the first to witness, to see through the cracks in his shell, that was your smile. And his team saw it everyday, all the time. They got this piece of your friend you didn’t really get to see. To feel. To experience. This competitive, strong, cunning young man before your eyes wasn’t yours, and you teemed with envy. You didn’t try to hide your blush as you watched Tetsu play. You couldn’t have if you tried. Maybe you did like Kuroo. 

You waited for them after practice this time. It was the weekend, and Tetsu, Kenma, and yourself had a long sleepover planned. You had the new Fifa game, Kenma a new JRPG, and Kuroo had a new horror movie he wanted to watch. However, of course Kenman just had to drop out. Great. Now you’d be alone with Tetsu. You promised in your head that the next time you could corner Kenma you were going to strangle him. He was doing this on purpose, the bastard. Which is how you ended up alone with Kuroo as he put the dvd into your T.V. You hated horror. Did he remember how you much you hated blood after all these years?

You were both sitting on your bed as the movie descended into darkness. You screamed and covered your eyes, feeling Kuroo’s hand on your shoulder, and then wrapped around your body to calm you down. You didn’t fight it, or the blush that began to grow on your face. It felt so natural. And it felt right when he pulled you closer, and you hid in his chest as the terror in the movie rose to its climax. And in the midst of the madness, with your trembling in Tetsu’s arms, he finally found the courage to speak to you.

“I love you.”

He didn’t. In the middle of a horror movie which had you trembling. He didn’t. But this was Tetsuro. He was a dork. Of course he did.

You didn’t respond, only looked up into his eyes. There was no predatory smirk this time. No, there was something more. You could see the genuine care, the love, in his eyes, the fear of your refusal, the gentleness that hid beneath the teasing and provocation. You could feel his vulnerability as he pulled you down onto your bed, laying you on your back as he straddled you between his legs. His beautiful eyes searched deep into your (e/c) eyes, and you felt all the confusion flee from your mind. Instead, a fire, a heat, a desire coursed through your veins and your entire body shook with anticipation as he moved his lips towards yours. It was soft. Ever so soft, but as he pulled away, you needed more. More. So much more. You grabbed onto his head, hands coursing through his messy black hair, and pulled him back down into a kiss that sent chills rushing through your body. And all the tension that had filled your mind and muscles broke free with each kiss he placed on your lips, your neck. And with each touch from his hands across your skin you felt all your fear fade away. When he finally pulled back, his teeth gently pulling at your skin, you saw in his eyes, and knew. You definitely liked Tetsuro Kuroo.

“I love you,” you breathed back.

And then you saw it. His relief. His care. His love. And you see the vulnerable, timid boy you once knew. A side of Kuroo no one else was allowed to see, to know, to touch. Only you. They could keep his smirk, his confidence. Because you had something more. Because you knew you had the real Kuroo; the boy who needed your reassurance, who needed your hands, who required the safety of your arms. No one else could see that. Tetsuro Kuroo was all yours. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Just an idea that has been pulsing through my mind. I haven't really written anything like this before, so I hope you like it. Sorry if Kuroo is a little OOC. Enjoy.

[blocksandbloops]

May I interest you in some fem!hermit!Tommy fluff for you in this trying time?

This is set in an alternative version of @redorich 's hermit!Tommy AU. Diverging from the Dream SMP's raid on Hermitcraft. All you need to know is that family trees are convoluted, Tommy's name is Clementine. She's trans, we love her, she has wings and has adopted Grian as her weird almost twin brother.

After the whole "Dreamon" and "invasion" mess the Dream SMP folk didn't expect to hear much from the hermits besides the ones who attended MCC. They thought that the two servers would just continue to exist, independent of one another. Just drifting through the void mere inches apart but never really touching.

Oh how wrong they were.

The hermits were friendly but they had absolutely underestimated just how friendly.

Apparently, the moment Clementine so much as breathed a word about how much she missed her biological family, Scar -ever the kind and helpful mayor that he was- decided to throw a beach party!

Since Clemmy's extended family was pretty large and they didn't want anyone to feel left out, it was an open invitation to everyone on the Dream SMP as long as they behaved.

That point was driven home when a few people, like Antfrost and his unhealed, dog bitten asscheek, mentioned how upsetting the Hermits was definitely not a good idea.

(Deep down they knew that the reason they were really doing this was because the hermits were worried about them. The Dream SMP was just a bunch of traumatized children according to them. They weren't wrong in that assumption but no one wanted to admit that.)

So, when the day of the beach party finally dawned, they all put on their least threatening outfits and packed up their supplies, (where Tubbo got the surf board nobody wanted to question) and entered the portal just like they had done a few months prior.

A few things were different though, the sun was bright and beaming in the sky, soft puffy white clouds rolled by, only promising gentle shade instead of the dreary air of yesteryear.

The shopping district had been rebuilt from it's smoky ruins and they finally all had time to appreciate the lovingly built shops and roads. It looked so beautiful and vibrant, you could practically feel the fact that summer was in full swing.

The smell of nectar and sea salt drifted through the air, sweetening even the sourest of moods. This is what peace was to the hermits. This was their everyday. They were so lucky and they didn't even realize it.

Some people were taking notes of all the different building styles with bright eyes, hoping to replicate some of it when they got home, others were suddenly hit with a feeling of bitter inadequacy of it compared to their homes. Is this what a world without war could look like?

But, no matter the gloomy musings of the few, they were all here to let go for a day! To celebrate the good times and to kick back for seemingly the first time in forever.

Their welcome party this time simply consisted of one person.

It was a strange sight, seeing the Hermits' admin Xisuma without a mask on, wearing a god awful hawaiian shirt that Keralis had thrown at him with glee the moment he mentioned that he didn't have something to wear, and again, were those, gods forbid crocks?

"'Ello everyone! Wow this is quite the turn up. Scar wished he could be here to greet you all personally, but he's still too busy helping the others preparing for the barbecue, so you're stuck with me for the time being.

Now, if you'll kindly follow me, we set everything up pretty close to here, so we'll be there in a minute."

The walk over to the beach was short, but just as scenic as the rest of the server.

Warm, golden sand, gently lapping waves and lush plant life. The sound of the hermits' laughter and soft music filled the air as the smell of the previously mentioned barbecue proved a welcome distraction from whatever the hell was happening on the far right side of the beach (the ZIT trio built a karaoke machine. It was Zedaph's idea. It was also a horrible idea but they didn't seem to realize that yet.)

As they began to debate a plan of attack, no wait. ... fun? enjoyment? eh whatever.

A tall man jogged up to the group. Some people recognized him as Mumbo Jumbo, that one british guy with the mustache. Others, however, as that semi-scary redstone wizard who managed to create extremely powerful potion launchers during the invasion.

He was dressed just as down to earth as the others, holding a tall glass of lemonade in his hand and wearing a (quite goofy) sunhat he borrowed from Ren.

He was explaining something to X in hushed tones (something or other about a minor fire at the barbecue table?) When he looked past the gathering of guests and out towards the path that they had come from, and screeched.

"GRIAN PLEASE I'M HOLDING LEMONADE DON'T!" X reached over and grabbed the glass from his hands just in time for a cackling, feathered ball of something to crash into Mumbo, knocking him into the water with an audible "oof".

There was wild thrashing as the two tried to orient themselves, Grian somehow climbing onto Mumbo's back.

"CLEMMY! COME HELP ME DROWN MUMBO!" Grian waved towards a cluster of trees to their left, underneath which a small gathering of hermits was enjoying a bit of a reprieve from the sun.

"NOT YOU TOO!" came the mustachioed man's scream of distress.

Clementine, the whole terrifying six feet and three inches of a woman that she was, took off running to the water at full tilt towards the struggling brits.

Mumbo, having already formed a strategy in his head, did a perfect T-pose and feel backwards into the water, bringing down a screaming Grian with him. Clementine did a graceful swan dive into the water (how she executed that shall be left for viewer interpretation) and happily joined the fray, even the distressed calls of Stress behind her because "Gods damn it Clemmy! I spent an hour on your hair! And now it's ruined!" couldn't persuade her to give up on her mission to cause as much friendly chaos as possible.

She climbed out of the water a few minutes later, her hair a mess and a bright smile on her face.

"Techie! Wilby! Tubbo! Thank you guys so much for coming! I'm really glad that you could make it." She hugged them each close, enjoying the comfort of having them all together again.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Techno relaxed his posture, trying not to fidget too much. He was getting better with crowds but it was still a lot.

"You may think he's joking but he literally dragged Quackity all the way to the portal because he was too busy doing his eyeliner and would've made us late." Wilbur snickered when she leaned in to hug him, earnings him one of her patented ear-splitting laughs.

"I got a recording of it!" Tubbo proudly announced, pulling out his video camera

while still holding an arm around her.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! LET ME HAVE SOME DIGNITY MAN!" The aforementioned Mr. Fattest Ass in the cabinet screamed indignantly as soon as he got within hearing range.

"Quackity you never had any dignity. It's too late for that." Techno flicked the duck shapeshifter on the head, earning him even more annoyed rambling which he just chose to ignore.

"Well, I'm glad that that's settled, now, I have some people I'd like for you to meet."

She directed them towards the group sitting in the shade, which consisted of False, (a now soaking wet) Grian, Stess, Mumbo (who also looked like a disgruntled cat that was just given a bath), Iskall and Ren.

Meanwhile Doc and Cleo had a little cornered off area they'd nicknamed the "cool kids club" (it was because around this time the sun got strong enough to actually burn her and Doc just felt slightly iffy about the water, since he was, ya know, half robot.)

Clemmy threw herself down on a blanket in front of a grumbling Stress who set about actually making her hair look presentable.

Niki sat down next to them and began discussing the merits of different styles to put Clemmy's hair into.

Ranboo sheepishly sat down next to Cleo's lawn chair folding all of his gangly limbs under himself.

Wilbur happily plopped himself down next to Ren on a blanket and began to hum along to the other's guitar.

Techno lay dow his cape, deciding that a nap was the best course of action in that moment.

Fundy hesitated for a second before going down to the shore to relax and just put his feet in the water for now.

Philza, the awkward dad that he was, chose to sit down close enough to the girls that he'd be able to hear what they were talking about without intruding.

Tubbo placed his stuff down by Clemmy's feet and ran out to the shore with his surf board in hand.

Going through so many conflicts in such a short amount of time really tires a person out, especially ones as young as the ones from the SMP so getting this afternoon of rest truly helped ease some of the stress given to them by recent events.

(Beach episode pog?)

Of course, this little get together wasn't without it's faults. About two hours in Doc accidentally trampled False's sand castle, who in retaliation teamed up with Cleo to dump water on him while he was relaxing.

This little conflict evolved into a battle to see who could build the biggest and grandest sand castle between "Team Himbo" and "Team Women" (one of those was coined by Clemmy). Puffy and Stress set up a good system of transporting sand from point A to point B, allowing them to move faster. False got placed on detailing duty while Niki brought refreshments for the rest of the team. Alyssa was mostly helping out wherever she could, as Cleo worked her armour stand magic to make their castle feel even more alive.

Clemmy just shouted encouragements and bullied the opposing team.

(The member list of Team Himbo has been redacted to avoid any drama about who might qualify as a himbo in the given circumstances)

Somehow the guys managed to convince Techno to join them, which immediately stacked odds in their favor to which Eret and Iskall, being the non-binary legends they are, decided to side with Team Women, now renamed to "Team Prettier Than You".

Their building contest laated for another hour before X decided to try to stop them (it wasn't because of the time. It was because TFC and Grian started shouting things about structural integrity and adding stone parts to the walls and the contestants actually listened when he decided that it was getting out of hand.)

Then it was time to actually enjoy the barbecue. Techno surprised everyone with how delicious his baked potatoes ended up. Beef also got to flex his skills a little with, as you guessed it, beef.

Tubbo and Tango sadly had to eat further away then everyone because the moment they got within ten feet of the fire something mysteriously combusted.

After that, the ZIT trio busted out the karaoke machine and the night went from good to great.

The old Team Star was dared to sing a rendition of Hermit Gang and everyone younger than 25 felt physical distress during some parts.

The sleepy bois (+Tubbo) sang a cover of "Your new boyfriend" (Techno got surprisingly into it) and then Wilbur swiped Ren's guitar to sing some Taylor Swift songs (accompanied by Tubbo on a synth he seemingly pulled out of nowhere) in that one weird accent he can do which had most people wheezing on the floor from laughter after the first song.

Niki threw down a german cover of Say So by Doja Cat. Grian, Phil and Tommy were unconsciously doing the parrot dancing thing. It was great.

Quackity sang something in spanish and Karl and Sapnap made over exaggerated swooning noises.

Skeppy and Bad did a duet. It was as adorable as it sounds.

Some other people also came on stage, belting out songs in such horridly broken voices that I'll spare you the details. Let's just say, nails scratching chalkboards would sound better.

And that was most of the festivities over with.

The last thing on the agenda? A meteor shower. How did they set it up? Clemmy's weird star child thing. The aforementioned girl was huddled close together with her family as they watched the comets streak across the clear sky (all electronics and artificial lights were shut off for the night) and Melohi played from a jukebox in the corner.

Fundy was laying his head in Dream's lap, the other boy was softly threading his fingers through his almost fiance's orange hair while leaning heavily on George and trying not to let sleep claim him as it had the fox (no one knew how this happened, all they were aware of is that the three had disappeared sometime during the sand castle contest only to reemerge having finally talked things through and come to an agreement that they all seemed happy with).

Ranboo, Niki, Puffy and Eret were collapsed in a happy pile just vibing.

The sleepy bois, who were for once actually sleepy, all wore matching flower crowns braided together by Stress's experienced fingers (and Wilbur's rather clumsy ones). Phil and her had managed to come to an agreement of unofficial joint custody after he witnessed Techno embarrassedly lean down to let her place a crown of golden flowers upon his head and saw his internal beam of pride when she called him "handsome".

The boys never really had a mother he mused, maybe she could teach them kindness where he couldn't.

Another surprise addition to the family was the owner of the third pair of wings in the cuddle pile. Phil didn't expect to end up with any more children at this point in his life, but Grain and Clemmy were practically attached at the hip and it felt wrong to even think about separating them.

He only hoped that those two wouldn't cause too much chaos especially when teamed up with Tubbo.

In the end, everyone drifted off to sleep, one by one they closed their eyes on their most perfect day. Praying for whatever might be out there, that they'll have many more moments just like this.

Well,

almost everyone.

Callahan chuckled as he walked back up to his spot with Alyssa farther away from the others. shutting off his camera after cycling through the pictures he took of everyone looking goofy while sleeping (His favorite is the one where Clemmy was very visibly munching on Techno's hair). He may not use those as blackmail but he sure ass hell was going to tease them about it later. He fell asleep there on that hill, drifting off to comforting rest like the others.

After that? Life moved on.

It was chaotic sure, and not perfect.

But it was theirs. They grew up slowly, learning to be kind to one another, how to grow with one another.

Life wasn't always perfect but hey, they had each other. And in the end? That's all that mattered.

[feralnumberfive]

The Rewatch Academy: Episode 3 of Season 1

“Extra Ordinary”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ 

1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 |

☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂

☂ First off I’d like to say that this is one of my favorite episodes of this season. It’s just soooo good

☂ The second comic book in the window features the Televator from the actual comics, so that has to be canon in the show! Also at the time that that second comic came out, Five had already left since we don’t see him on the cover

☂ It’d be cool if they actually printed Vanya’s book for fans to read

☂ Well Diego isn’t wrong when he called Hazel and Cha Cha animals because of their masks

☂ Honestly I feel Vanya’s struggle with chair placement. I’ve fortunately had the luck of playing in all three clarinet chair placements, but 1st chair is challenging. I personally found each placement very fun to play, especially 3rd, and I hope Vanya does too! (why am I talking like she’s real)

☂ Hazel talks about people living ordinary lives, but didn’t he live like that too at one point? How does The Commission recruit people? If they get ordinary people, do they wipe their memories of their previous lives?

☂ “Let’s see’em get out from behind their desks, get their hands dirty for once.” Well Hazel, Five does indeed do this even though he only had a desk job for a day. Still, he got to experience both worlds

☂ My mind is blanking on this, but how did Five get that cut on his arm? Was it from a bullet wound at Gimbel’s? 

☂ Five must have a high pain tolerance to stitch his own wound but his bandaid probably wouldn’t stick due to the wet blood he slapped it over. Five sweetie you need a cotton pad and gauze for that one

☂ Wait, you’re telling me that The Umbrella Academy boys’ top uniform consists of a tank top, a white dress shirt, a tie, a sweater vest, and then the blazer? Someone asked Reginald what he wanted for the uniforms and he just said “Yes.”

☂ Five: *puts hands in pockets only to immediately take them out*

☂ Aidan almost sounds like he has an accent when he says “I'm done funding your drug habit.” 

☂ Five’s so soft talking to his wife

☂ No Leonard, your bread and butter is being a creep

☂ Also, he thinks wood carving is embarrassing? If someone came up to me and showed me something they carved out of wood I would be so jealous cause it’s such a neat form of art

☂ Leonard saying that he carved wood, and in that case wooden figures, when he was a kid is a slight foreshadow of all of his tampering with his Umbrella Academy figures. He can make wooden figures but he’s also destroyed a handful of the Hargreeves figures 

☂ “Never really did like The Beatles.” Well sir you’ve made me dislike you even more

☂ Vanya asking Allison if her siblings wanted her at the family meeting bugs me a bit. I absolutely get that she was literally left out of anything and everything that had to do with her siblings when she was younger, but Allison just asked her to come back home for a family meeting. Allison wouldn't have walked around looking for Vanya only to tell her that they were having a family meeting and that she wasn’t actually invited. Allison is including her in on a family meeting but Vanya is just in a bit of disbelief that she’s being included

☂ Ah yes, the only PTSD flashback for Five we see in the show! He looks so scared when he snaps out of it. I believe it was somehow triggered by the kids (I could be wrong) but do you think Five sometimes panics when he looks at himself in the mirror now since his body is the same age it was when he got stuck? Also it’s very subtle but when Luther opens the door, Five slightly jerks/flinches back. I wish we would see more of this in the show since it’s one of his major traumas

☂ “Does it matter? It’s Klaus.” Ouch! Well Five I hope you know that your siblings are somewhat thinking the same thing since they believe that you’ve lost your mind and are practically an old man crying “Apocalypse!” 

☂ Five does an ever so slight huff and smirk when Luther tells him that the meeting at the Academy is important. He finds it a little funny but so frustrating in his mind that Luther doesn’t know what’s truly important

☂ Also I love that Aidan has to turn to the side so that he can keep it together after Klaus talks about his chocolate pudding waxing. Either that or he’s portraying Five as being frustrated and in disbelief. Also this is the first time I’ve noticed that he says “Ay, ay ay...” 

☂ “We’re all you have. And you know it.” Oh Luther, you’re failing to see that that’s why he’s acting like this right now. He’s all frantic and crazed about trying to stop the apocalypse so that he can protect and save all that he has

☂ Five certainly is mad at Luther during his mini lecture. He’s clenching his jaw tightly and when he first speaks he hisses out the words through gritted teeth. He even called Luther by his number. He’s very impatient at this point and doesn’t care for Luther’s act of attempting to be a leader

☂ This is their first, and certainly not last, time watching Klaus go by in front of them doing something he shouldn’t be doing

☂ “You haven’t been home in a long time, Vanya.” Sir you were also just on the moon for four years. Yeah Vanya was away for a long time but Grace easily could have changed too during the four years you were gone

☂ How sweet, even though Five hasn’t really been home they want to include him in on the family vote :]

☂ I’ve noticed that in S1 that David really mumbles his lines. A lot

☂ I wish we got more flashbacks of the younger Umbrellas

☂ Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ It’s confusing as to which country TUA takes place in, but it’s really not supposed to be a specific one. It’s portrayed as being in North America, but you can see behind Cha Cha when she gets out of the car at the Academy the flag of the RAF, which Canada would have at a monument since it’s a Commonwealth country. At the same time though Delores came from Gimbels, which was a department store chain across the U.S

☂ The light above Five’s portrait is slightly crooked, which probably means no one has really been paying attention to it

☂ It makes me nervous that Klaus wipes bubbles onto his face. It looks like he got some in his eyes

☂ Ugh I love the whole scene of Hazel and Cha Cha walking around the Academy with “We’re Through” playing

☂ Diego: *has knives but instead chooses to punch and hit Hazel to try to make him let go of Allison”

☂ A rope-a-dope is a boxing tactic of pretending to be trapped against the ropes, goading an opponent to throw tiring ineffective punches. Diego sweetie Hazel wasn’t even trying to get you off of him all he was doing was choking Allison. The only person who got tired was probably you

☂ What’s the point in Diego yelling “Luther, go!” if he’s already going 💀

☂ Luther was there immediately when Hazel attacked Vanya. That means that Luther heard Vanya and was going to go get her to safety

☂ I will never stop signing my praise for the entirety of the “Sinnerman” fight scene(s). It gives me chills every single time. Easily one of the best scenes in all of the show

☂ Klaus must really have his music blasting if he can’t hear the gun shots right next to him

☂ I’ve always wondered if Allison actually registered in her mind that “The boy” is Five when Cha Cha says that’s who they’re looking for. Either she does realize that’s Five, is simply just angry that those two are looking for a boy, or registers in her mind that it’s Five through his superhero codename even though Cha Cha’s not referring to him in that way

☂ Diego is full on just standing in the background watching Allison get beat up by Cha Cha 🕴

☂ I love Diego’s little hand flap when he gets hit in the hand fighting Cha Cha

☂ Okay so I make everything about Five, but the whole Cha Cha fight scene with Allison and then Diego kind of scares me. Cha Cha and Hazel are both amazing assassins (they’re both probably right below Five) and neither Allison nor Diego could stop her by themselves. Could you imagine Five fighting one of his siblings? Especially with his spatial jumps? We already got a glimpse of his true combat skills when he fights Lila in S2. What a scary little old man

☂ “Vanya, get out of here!” Again, wanting to make sure that Vanya is safe and gets away. He even tried to go look for her

☂ Something I don’t really get about the Hazel and Luther fight is why doesn’t Luther just overpower him? Luther has super strength and on top of that he has giant muscles due to the gorilla DNA. Shouldn’t he be able to beat Hazel to a pulp? Maybe we have to consider that Hazel might have been altered by The Commission to be stronger and more durable, but they haven’t mentioned that in the show

☂ “Ah, you gotta cut down on that fast food, soldier.” What are you talking about Diego he literally just got off the moon two days ago aflksjfdk

☂ So Luther was too injured to jump out of the way of the chandelier but was able to push it up off of himself? 🤔

☂ I personally think that Luther’s body design adaptation for the show is really cool and that they gave him the perfect amount of bulk without making him look ridiculous

☂ This has been pointed out before, but cross-stitch foreshadowing, baby 

☂ Again, Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ Well at least Diego thought about Vanya dying before thinking about his siblings dying because of her. The latter is ironic!

☂ The clock above Luther’s mirror reads approximately 1:30 am. Hazel and Cha Cha didn’t want to wait until morning

☂ I wonder how different it would be if Five was present at the Academy when Hazel and Cha Cha attacked. He probably would have surrendered himself to them, but it's fun to entertain the idea that he would go apeshit if he knew that they were harming his family in order to find him

☂☂☂☂☂☂☂

Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

[aion-rsa]

25 Hardest PC Games of All-Time

https://ift.tt/38HV1Oq

The most fascinating thing about the history of difficult PC games isn’t necessarily the difficulty of individual titles but rather the diversity of difficult experiences the platform has gifted us throughout the years.

From meme games specifically designed to make you rage quit to underrated platformers and punishing puzzle titles, the history of difficult PC games essentially doubles as a fairly comprehensive look at all the ways developers have creatively punished us for daring to think we were ever good enough to beat their cruelest creations.

What are the most difficult PC games ever made, though? Well, answering that question is only slightly easier than actually playing the games on such a list, so in the interest of honoring the hardest PC games ever, we’re offering an extended look at the games that made you toss your mouse and keyboard in the air and briefly consider the benefits of smashing the family computer. We’re also focusing on games that were initially released exclusively for various PC platforms (or at least games that weren’t simply ported to PC later on) in order to properly pay homage to the truly unique ways our personal computers have tortured us throughout the years.

25. Minesweeper

The first PC game many of us probably played dominated computer classrooms, ate up more free time than many of us will ever care to admit, and ultimately confounded a generation of gamers who desperately tried to see its victory screen. 

That’s what’s impressive about Minesweeper. It’s ultimately a pretty challenging puzzle game that becomes borderline absurd at high-difficulty settings, but I’m just amazed that Microsoft was bold enough to make such a confusing, complicated, and difficult game one of the most recognizable early Windows experiences. 

24. Dota 2

This is a bit of a tricky entry, largely because I’m hesitant to highlight PC multiplayer games in this discussion about difficult titles. Obviously, it’s pretty hard to win a match against some of the best competitive multiplayer players in the world.

What separates Dota 2, though, is its incredible learning curve. Yes, top-rank Dota play is incredibly difficult, but the barrier to entry in this game is so thick that it’s amazing most new players even stick around to try to learn it.

23. Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear

If you’re only familiar with the Rainbow Six series because of Siege (which, to be fair, is a challenging game in its own right), then let me just warn you now that you’re probably in for a world of hurt if you ever dare to try to play the first few entries in this long-running franchise.

The only word that properly describes Rogue Spear‘s difficulty is “unforgiving.” You have to be nearly perfect in your planning, aim, map, knowledge, and execution of all of those elements if you’re going to have any chance of completing this game’s most difficult missions. Don’t even get me started on those stealth sections…

22. Return of the Obra Dinn

There are quite a few challenging “logic puzzle” games on the PC, but what separates this truly incredible experience from some of its immediate competition is the way that the game’s time manipulation mechanics require you to cross-reference nearly every piece of information that you acquire with every other piece of information you acquire.

Yes, you can make educated guesses in Obra Dinn, but that little piece of freedom just shows you how complex this game’s puzzles really are. Return of the Obra Dinn doesn’t just make you think; it demands a different kind of thought process than you’ll find in any other game or any other kind of storytelling experience.

21. Kerbal Space Program

It’s not hard to enjoy Kerbal Space Program. It is, after all, a fairly goofy game about building spaceships where half the fun comes from watching your plans quite literally blow up in your face. However, have you ever tried actually playing Kerbal Space Program well?

If you have, then you probably already know that Kerbal Space Program is one of the most complicated and mechanically advanced PC games ever made. Building a fully functional rocket in this game’s nightmare world of physics and miniature components is only slightly less difficult than being asked to build a rocket in real life.

20. Hotline Miami

Hotline Miami is widely recognized for its all-time great soundtrack and absurd violence, but don’t let this game’s popularity somehow convince you that it is not one of the most unforgiving and mentally exhausting action games ever made. 

While each level in Hotline Miami is essentially a puzzle, few puzzle games also demand perfect aim or the ability to pick up a makeshift weapon at just the right moment in order to salvage your plan of attack. Few gaming experiences match the feeling of getting a Hotline Miami level just right. 

19. Dead Cells

Dead Cells is so much fun to play that you might forget that it’s absolutely one of the most challenging action games of the last few years. Of course, that reality will rise up and smack you in the face the moment that you dare to try to beat the game’s later levels. 

Even if you “grind” your way to the top of Dead Cells and unlock every weapon, attribute, and skill, you’ll still struggle to topple this game’s most devious challenges. By that point, though, you’ll likely be too committed to seeing it through to realize that you’re actively being beaten down. 

18. FTL

FTL certainly wasn’t the first roguelike game, but this crowdfunded title elevated the genre with its incredible sci-fi setting, brilliant structure, and intense strategy-focused combat sequences. It’s also the game that showed millions just how difficult roguelike games could be. 

Years later, it’s easy to argue that FTL is still one of the hardest roguelike games out there. You can do everything right in this game (which is certainly no easy feat in and of itself) and still instantly lose the “perfect run” thinks to one of a hundred random little things that can go wrong. 

17. SpaceChem

Imagine trying to pass an advanced chemistry test while simultaneously attempting to re-wire the electricity in your home. That’s roughly what it’s like to play SpaceChem: one of the most complicated puzzle games ever conceived. 

I’d say learning to play SpaceChem is half the battle, but the thing that is so interesting about this game is that you never really entirely learn how to play it. You just learn to roll with the punches and make the most out of the various challenges this game uses to constantly keep you on your toes. 

16. Flywrench

At the risk of relying on too many comparisons, I’ll say that the best way to imagine what it’s like to play Flywrench is to imagine trying to play Super Hexagon and Super Meat Boy at the same time without messing up in either. That’s roughly the Flywrench experience. 

What’s amazing about this game is that even those with lightning-fast reflexes aren’t guaranteed to be good at it. Victory in Flywrench comes down to a brutal combination of reflexes, map memorization, quick reads, and the kind of persistence that few games would ever dare demand from their players. 

15. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Somewhere between a survival horror game and a simulation shooter lies S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl: one of the most original, terrifying, and yes, brutally difficult PC games ever made. 

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl convincingly sells the horrors of its setting by burdening you with the knowledge that you could indeed die at any time. If this game’s atmosphere, story, and tone don’t make you feel depressed, trying to navigate its toughest sections will probably do the trick. 

14. Dark Seed

While it’s true that the best reason to play Dark Seed is its incredible horror style (which is actually based on the art of H. R. Giger), the second-best reason to play Dark Seed is the desire to experience as much digital pain as possible. 

Dark Seed’s puzzles are hard enough on their own, but this game takes things one step too far by utilizing a time limit system that affords you almost no time to stop and smell the roses. You could argue this game would have been better off overall without that time limit system, but it certainly wouldn’t be as notoriously difficult as it very much is. 

13. Devil Daggers

If you’ve never played Devil Daggers, please be sure to find the time to do so. This absolutely incredible FPS experience effectively reimagines classic shooters as a kind of arena action game that places you in the middle of a small circular stage that is quickly swarmed by the most horrifying foes you’ll ever dare to imagine. 

Devil Daggers is basically what you’d get if you used mods to turn Quake into a bullet hell shooter. Ther are safe zones in this game, but good luck spotting them in a 3D, first-person setting while you’re actively trying not to die at every single moment. 

Read more

Games

PC Gaming Innovations That Changed the Way We Play

By Matthew Byrd

Games

25 PC Games That Changed History

By Matthew Byrd

12. Discworld

Even at a time when point-and-click adventure puzzles were designed to be as difficult as possible, Discworld quickly gained a reputation for featuring arguably the most challenging collection of puzzles that genre has ever seen. 

Discworld embraces the outlandishness of its source material by tasking you with solving puzzles that quite honestly defy any logic that we mere mortals are used to adhering to. Just when you think you may have possibly found a solution to one part of its devious puzzles, you suddenly realize that you haven’t begun to appreciate the maddening scope of what this game truly expects from you. 

11. 1001 Spikes

1001 Spikes isn’t just a throwback to the golden era of “NES hard.” It’s a hall-of-fame worthy collection of all the mechanics, ideas, and venomous design decisions that made those games so difficult (with a few new tricks thrown in). 

From bottomless pits to invisible blocks (and yes, a couple of spikes), 1001 Spikes is an angel to some and a demon to others. It really all depends on how fondly you remember the years of your youth that you spent dying to the cruelest 8-bit titles ever made. 

10. Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines

In a previous article about a nearly impossible dungeon crawler called The Immortal, I talked about how that game tries to make you walk a very specific path to avoid its various death traps. Well, Commandos utilizes a similar trick with one fascinating twist: you have to blaze your own path to victory. 

Commandos is a game of inches. Every move you make has to be carefully considered because each could trigger a mistake down the line that is nearly impossible to recover from. That level of freedom is both incredibly frustrating and the thing that keeps you convinced that you can eventually get it right if you hang in long enough.

9. Gabriel Knight 3

This is another case where I’m not actually sure how much Gabriel Knight 3 deserves this “honor” given that it features some of the most illogical, frustrating, confusing, and often downright unenjoyable puzzle designs in adventure game history. 

Having said that, I ultimately see this as the final boss for genre fans. No matter how good you think you are at solving the most confounding adventure game puzzles ever crafted, I’m willing to bet that this game will leave you seriously considering downloading a walkthrough and calling it a day. This game’s “cat puzzle��� alone has broken the strongest souls. 

8. Darkest Dungeon

Moment to moment, Darkest Dungeon is difficult in all of the ways that you’d expect a roguelike dungeon crawler to be difficult. Tough enemies, minimal resources, incredible RNG swings…the gang is all here. 

What separates this title are the mechanics you have to deal with in-between those dungeon dives. Properly managing your always ailing party of heroes often requires you to make difficult strategic decisions that simultaneously punish greed and pretty much demand it if you’re going to have any chance of reaching this game’s nearly impossible final dungeon.

7. I Wanna Be The Guy

I Wanna Be the Guy is both a throwback to the golden age of difficult games and a kind of experiment in how difficult you can make a game without it technically being impossible. It succeeds in both endeavors.

There are many PC games like I Wanna Be The Guy, but this is the title that alerted many of us to the wide world of these indie experiences that are designed to bring you to your breaking point. It’s one of the ultimate examples of how the PC gaming community has been pushing the limits of difficult retro gaming experiences for quite some time now.

6. Dwarf Fortress

Any discussion about Dwarf Fortress‘ difficulty has to eventually address the debate over whether or not you should see this as the kind of game you’re meant to “beat.” For millions of players, Dwarf Fortress is really about the process of figuring out how to do your best in one of the most mechanically complicated games ever. 

That brutal learning curve certainly makes Dwarf Fortress worthy of consideration for this particular list, but it’s the “endgame” that ultimately makes this experience so special. Much like Kerbal Space Program, it’s when you try to succeed at Dwarf Fortress that you appreciate how challenging this fascinating blend of role-playing and world-building really is. Dwarf Fortress is arguably the deepest rabbit hole in video game history.

5. Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy

There have been quite a few incredibly difficult “meme” games in the past, but for my money, none have come close to topping this masterpiece. 

Getting Over It‘s controls are ultimately the source of its legendarily frustrating gameplay, but the thing that will always define this game is that feeling you get when you realize a single wrong move can reset all the progress you’ve made so far. Few other games in history have combined persistence and mechanical challenges quite as well as this one. 

4. X-COM: UFO Defense

There’s no denying that modern XCOM games are incredibly difficult, and there’s no denying that those who are able to beat modern XCOM games deserve a firm pat on the back. That being said, no modern XCOM game will ever compare to the difficulty of X-COM: UFO Defense.

The thing that separates UFO Defense from its competition in this category is the way that it demands you master and constantly consider a daunting number of gameplay mechanics. There is almost no room for error in this incredible game, and you probably won’t even know that you’ve made a mistake until it’s far too late to do anything but start over again. 

3. Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Is Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy a troll game? Yes, yes it is. However, that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be on any shortlist of the most difficult games ever made. 

I highly doubt a developer will ever dare to construct puzzles as complicated as the ones featured in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Part of the “appeal” of this game is actually the way that its nearly impossible logic puzzles accentuate the ridiculous, yet despondent, nature of its humor. Just be sure to bring a towel. 

2. Osu!

I’ll just come out and say that there’s never been a rhythm game as difficult as osu! With no assistance from a required peripheral instrument, osu! manages to challenge your mechanical abilities like no other entry into this genre has ever dreamed to do. 

Honestly, the only thing you really need to know about this game is that some of the top FPS players in the world use it to prepare for competitive tournaments and matches. It’s the purest and most challenging video game reflex test that’s ever been constructed, and it’s hard not to love it for that. 

1. Wizardry IV: The Return of Werdna

If it seems strange to put an RPG at the top of a list of the hardest PC games ever, that’s because you don’t know Wizardry IV. 

Wizardry IV is a unique dungeon crawler where you’re essentially cast as a villain trying to work your way out of Hell. Actually, the best way to describe this game is just that. Hell. From constantly shifting maps to an experience system (or lack thereof) that requires you to beat incredible challenges without being able to consistently rely on your character actually getting stronger, Wizardry IV is quite simply the cruelest game ever made.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Honestly, Wizardry IV’s first room is arguably the most difficult and unintuitive challenge in video game history. From there, things only get worse. It’s an absolute masterpiece in “f*** everything about this” video game design. 

The post 25 Hardest PC Games of All-Time appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3gZ07KI

[thepatricktreestump]

Crush pt1 - peter parker imagine

crush masterlist

part 1 - study hall

               Although none of the other girls in your class would agree with you, you were convinced that Peter Parker was the most attractive guy at Midtown High. He had stolen your heart from the very first day of AP Chemistry, confidently answering some basic questions concerning the structure of carbon compositions, and you basically swooned. You found smart guys unbelievably sexy, and ones who were humble were twice as good. Parker was a quiet kid, very sharp and sensible, but also friendly and courteous. Unlike the other boys at your school, he wasn’t loud mouthed and cocky, throwing outrageous parties and trying to hit on every girl within a five foot radius. It was refreshing to see a guy your age not be obsessed with copying down your homework or trying to invite you to a college frat party. Peter Parker was different, and you liked that about him. You liked it a lot.

            He kept to himself and two his friends mostly, MJ and Ned, which made you more interested in him and his life. Most days he either wore these adorable blue V-neck sweaters or these goofy science pun t-shirts that looked as if ordered in a bulk pack from Amazon. He was a proud member of the photography club, robotics club, debate team, and Science Olympiad. He was one of the smartest people you knew, and in turn, that simply made him the most attractive. Perhaps it was your father who had established your high standard in boys, seeing as he dabbled in astrophysics and technological engineering as a hobby. He was Ironman after all, being an overachiever was practically a household expectation. You were pretty smart yourself, and although it could be looked upon as rude or inconsiderate, the truth was you liked to surround yourself with others who either matched or challenged your intellect.

               Since establishing your crush on Peter Parker, you strived to spend more time with him. You told yourself you could start it off as a friendship with a silly crush and see how things went from there. Towards the end of the class one day, you were determined to talk to the boy. The plan was to ask him to go over some of his notes with you, maybe make it a study date situation, hope he didn’t call your bluff. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand the lesson, you understood everything perfectly fine. Hell, you could probably speak stoichiometry in your sleep. However, you needed a good reason to introduce yourself, so you hoped for the best and decided to take a leap of faith. Nervously smoothing your sweaty palms down on your thighs and gathering your books up from your desk, you walked over to where he was talking to his best friend Ned. “Hey,” you tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, staring at you with his soft hazel eyes, brunette hair swept up neatly, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

               “Oh hi,” he gave a warm smile and nervously cleared his throat. “What’s uh, what’s up?”

               “I’m y/n, I sit over there,” you pointed out as an introduction.

               “I think I’ve seen you around. Aren’t you Tony Stark’s daughter?” he cocked his head to the side and you groaned slightly, ever the exhausted with being immediately associated with your father.

               “Yup that’s me,” you sighed. “Uh, anyways, I noticed you seem pretty caught up on this lesson and I was having some difficulty understanding some of the concepts, I was hoping maybe I could borrow your notes sometime? If that’s okay?”

               “Oh?” he seemed surprised, but flattered, blush rising to his cheeks. “Sure! Of course. I’m Peter by the way, Peter Parker.” He gave a nervous laugh and then shook his head. “My notes aren’t the neatest in the world but if you think they could help, I’d be more than happy to lend you them for a night or two.”

               “Thanks,” you nodded. “That would be great. I think I’ve seen you in my lunch period too, so I could always just return them to you before class then.”

               “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed. “Or uh, if you wanted, we could always hang out at the library afterschool and I could explain it to you. Protein structural components can get a little tricky sometimes.”

               “For sure,” you chuckled, realizing how lame you probably sounded laughing over chemistry. “I’m usually free afterschool, as long as you’re okay with it, that sounds great to me!”

               “How afterschool tomorrow?” he offered. “Just for an hour or two?”

               “Perfect,” you couldn’t help but blush yourself. “Thanks, Peter. Really.”

               It felt like your heart was beating out of your chest as you walked away, envisioning his adorable smile still in your mind. He was so sweet, and kind, and understanding. Pretty eager too. You had to stifle a laugh as you heard Ned slug Peter on the shoulder and whisper shout, “Dude! You just scored a study date with Y/n Stark!”

               “See ya, Parker,” you turned around and winked, walking out of the classroom and towards your locker.

               The next day in class, you kept glancing back in your chair to look at him, smirking to yourself every time you caught him staring back. He was shy alright, and nervous, but it made him all the more adorable. That morning you made sure to fix your hair up and put on a little bit of lipstick, and after being thoroughly interrogated by your overbearing father, you were able to get out the door in one piece. It wasn’t that you were overexerting yourself into catching his attention, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping to have him compliment you. The rest of the school day, you caught yourself using the rest of your attention to calculate how much time was left until you could rush to the library and actually talk to him for once.

               “I thought you’d never show up,” you teased as he took a seat next to you at one of the tables, setting his backpack down on the floor and sighing.

               “Me either,” he groaned. “Ned wouldn’t stop bugging me about this being a date.” He gave a nervous laugh and turned to you, but you weren’t laughing. Instead you looked at him, smiling sweetly, unable to resist your temptation.

               “It can be a date,” you shrugged, opening up your textbook and waiting for a response, only to catch him dumbfounded, struggling to find words to say.

               “Oh, I mean- I-” he stammered and you chuckled.

               “I’m just playing with you, Parker,” you playfully reassured. “Now come on, open up those science notes so I can take a good look. I’m still lost on the GPCR structure similarities.”

               “That’s what doesn’t really make sense to me though,” he mused, doubtful as he instead swiped your notes across the table, reading them over and pointing at your diagrams. “I think you do. All of these are mapped out perfectly, and your comparisons are spot on.”

               “Well there’s no harm in getting clarification,” you replied, trying to grab back your notes but he held them out of your reach, narrowing his eyes. Peter didn’t buy it.

               “Why do you need my help, y/n? You’re literally the smartest girl in school. Your father is Tony Stark for heaven’s sake, you don’t need tutoring,” he insisted. “If anything, you should be tutoring me.”

               “You?” you scoffed. “Pete, you’re varsity on every academic team there is. No way.”

               “I just don’t get it,” he admitted. “Why’d you ask for my help? It’s obvious you understand the lesson perfectly fine.”

               “Well…” you blinked at him, shocked at how quickly he had seen right through your cover. “I uh, I don’t know.” Your face turned a bright shade of pink and you began to feel queasy. “Can I be honest?”

               “Of course,” he nodded, concerned but also curious as to what you had to say.

               “I just wanted an excuse to talk to you,” you confessed, embarrassed. “I always see you around and you seem so smart and you’re a part of all these clubs and teams and I don’t know…”

               He looked surprised, almost confused, but then smiled. “Me? Why me?”

               “I dunno. You seem really sweet.”

               “Thanks. You too.”

               “I was thinking maybe we could be friends? If that’s not too weird or-”

               “No, no that sounds, that sounds great,” he insisted, clearly flustered. He looked up at you, eyes sparkling, lips curled up in a smile. “You could’ve just asked you know.”

               “Yeah I’m uh, I’m clearly a fool when it comes to those kinds of things,” you laughed nervously, scratching the back of your head.

               “Well, since we’re here anyways,” Peter decided. “Want to do homework together instead?”

               “Sure,” you agreed. “That sounds great.”

               Both of you spent the next couple of hours solving Gauss-Jordan elimination matrices and memorizing resistance series equations. In a lot of ways, Peter Parker was just as much of a nerd as you were. It was comforting to know someone’s brain worked the same way yours did, excited to be challenged with theorems and calculations, determined to find solutions and build upon your already established intellect. When the library eventually closed, you walked to the cafeteria vending machines and grabbed some chips and sodas, exchanging conversation and making each other laugh with stupid jokes.

               “Sit at my lunch table tomorrow,” Peter invited after having added you on snapchat. “MJ and Ned will be there, and you can bring some of your friends if you want too.”

               “Okay,” you grinned. “Count me in.”

               Walking home, your entire stomach was filled with butterflies. Things couldn’t have gotten better. He was genuinely funny, and clever, and really sweet too. You hoped and prayed things would go well between you two. Practically skipping to the elevator, you tried to hide the stupid smile on your face in hopes that your dad wouldn’t pry too much. However, you instantly cringed when you heard JARVIS’ voice greet you as the doors slid open and you reached your floor.

               “Good evening, Miss Y/n. It seems that you have finally arrived home from school,” he chirped and you groaned, knowing what was to follow. “Your father has requested that I alert him upon your arrival, he has been inquiring about your whereabouts-”

               “Yeah, yeah, I know JARVIS,” you mumbled, setting your bookbag on your chair and frowning. “I came home late, I was at study hall with a friend.”

               “You are approximately three and a half hours late from your usual arrival,” JARVIS informed.

               “I am aware,” you insisted yet again, noticing your dad march towards you from a hall. Part of you was surprised he even noticed you were gone at all. Most of the time he was either out with the Avengers on a mission or cooped up in the lab working on a new project.

               “And where were you afterschool, young lady?” he inquired, arms folded, peering at you above the rim of his glasses.

               “I was at study hall with a friend,” you repeated, chewing at your lower lip, trying to play it off. “It took a little longer than I thought it would, I’m sorry.”

               “You couldn’t give me a call at least?” he asked, annoyed.

               “I didn’t think you cared,” you shrugged.

               “Well I’m your father, so I do,” he argued and you nodded, growing quiet and waiting to hear whatever scolding you had coming to you.

               Sometimes you wondered why he was constantly on your case. Maybe with him being an Avenger and all, always exposed to threats and danger, it translated to him being constantly worried about you. You knew it was just cause he cared, but at times, it did get a bit overbearing. You’ve learned by now to just nod your head and respond with “yes dad” and “I’m sorry dad” interchangeably.

              “Much less, why are you all dolled up?” he looked you up and down in disapproval. You glanced down at your skirt and sweater, remembering the way he had inquired about your hair and makeup this morning. He wasn’t wrong. You rarely ever put any effort into your appearance when it came to going to school. You usually threw on some jeans and a hoodie and made your way out the door. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to impress someone.”

             “I’m not,” you lied, rolling your eyes. “I just felt like changing it up today.”

            “Uh huh,” he drew out. “Twenty bucks says your little friend at study hall was a boy.”

            “Dad!” you whined and he smirked.

            “That’s all I need to know,” he threw up his hands defensively, secretly proud of himself. “Hey kid, get your homework done and then meet me in the lab. Bruce has a project for you concerning some Dijkstra’s algorithms that are right up your alley.”

            “Lucky for you I already got my homework done in study hall,” you pointed out. “So let me grab a snack real quick and I’ll meet you down there.”

            “That’s my kiddo,” he smiled proudly. “See ya in a bit.”

[devil-in-those-eyes]

Duchess of the Kooks part 5-JJ Maybank

Oh, lord. Okay, I didn't think i’d continue it, so let’s hope you guys still want it.

Taglist: @lovelymaybankk @hyuckiesoftie @outerbanks123 @heimdoodle @downbytheouterbanks Sorry If I missed someone!

Warnings: death, so please, do not read and if you need it to be explained, lmk and I will update you. It’s V sad :(

~

            It had been a few weeks since you started dating JJ. Your nights had been filled with sneaking him in and falling asleep while listening to his heartbeat. It was rare you were ever awake when he snuck back out, but every once in a while you’d feel a gentle press of his lips against your forehead. Your days were filled with his fingers folded between yours, cuddles on the hms pogue and sneaking kisses when you didn’t think anyone was paying attention to you two. You couldn’t remember the last time you smiled this much, laughed so hard. Everything just seemed easier with JJ.

             There had been a time when you didn’t think you two could be anymore polar opposites, but you saw sides of JJ that your friends didn’t know existed. You saw the gentleness in his eyes, felt it when he touched you late at night, heard it in his voice when he called you my girl. 

            It had been mere days when JJ finally opened up about who hit him that night and how his dad was the reason behind the bruises. It absolutely broke you to know it was his father, you may not get along with your parents but they would never raise a hand to you. It made you feel better when he slept over, because if he was over with John B or you then it meant he was out of his father’s path.

             JJ always tried to downplay the hurt his dad caused, but you knew better. You constantly wished that Topper would suddenly become the kid you grew up with and followed around, you constantly wished your parents started caring more about you then appearances and money. Deep down you knew none of those things would happen, but they were still your family and you would probably always hold out some sliver of hope and you could see it in JJ’s eyes.             You just did what you could. You laid with him, ran your fingers through his blond hair and felt the grit of the salt. You ignored the pang in your heart as his arms circled your waist and he dug his face into your neck.

            My girl makes everything better.

            The first time he called you that, it was like you could have dropped dead right then and there. You had been with Kie when he said it and watched his bright eyes light up even more, like a freaking neon sign, and half of you thought it was a fluke. Then he did it again in your bedroom, whispering it across your mouth and causing a flurry of butterflies.

             His kisses ignited a fire inside your stomach and the more his lips moved against yours, the further the fire spread throughout your body, lighting up your fingers and toes. You could spend hours kissing JJ and he could spend days feeling your skin in his hands. 

            Currently, you were laying on your bed with JJ’s hips nestled between your thighs. You giggling softly up at him, his lazy but goofy half smile as he stared down at you made your cheeks burn.

             “Are you serious?” You whispered, struggling to keep your laugh quiet so you didn’t wake your parents on the floor above you

.             “Swear to god, babe,” he answered, holding himself up by a hand next to your head and the other holding onto your slatted headboard. “You don’t believe me?”

            “No,” you blurted out, shaking your head. “I really don’t. You hated me.”

               “I definitely didn’t hate you, I hated your last name, there’s a difference.” He smirked, eyes heating up as your fingers danced up his bare chest.

             You scoffed, “Okay, JJ.” 

           “It’s true,” he answered, swiveling his hips softly and making your gasp as his hard dick brushed over your center, a barrier of his board shorts, your underwear and PJ shorts between you two. JJ dropped his head, bringing both hands to fist the pillow, and ghosted his lips over your mouth. “I remember the first time I saw you,” he whispered, his words low.

             Your heart stammered in your chest, eyes fluttering shut. Teasingly, you licked at his bottom lip and twisted your hips against his, hearing a low murmur of a moan fall from his mouth. “What was I wearing then?” 

           “Black overalls, dark purple lace sports bra under it.” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “You were standing with Kie, drinking beer, dancing to Fly by Sugar Ray.” JJ groaned and reached for your hips, giving a light squeeze, “fuck, watching these hips move.”  

          Vaguely, you remembered the night he was talking about. It was the first time Kiara had dragged you to meet her friends at a kegger at the Boneyards. She had recently discovered Sugar Ray and had started playing the music through his phone, both of your singing and dancing, ignoring the judgmental eyes of everyone else. It was the night you realized JJ would never fully accept you, you just didn’t know the look in his eyes had been full of filthy heat, not hate. 

            “And,” he pressed a light kiss to your mouth. “the first time you stole my breath away was the first time I made you laugh.”

            You pried your eyes open and stared up at him, his eyes growing soft. He moved to rest on his elbows and brushed a hand over your forehead. He smiled wistfully, as if remembering that moment. “I couldn’t tell you what the hell I said, all I remember if watching you laugh and thinking about how much I loved that laugh.” 

           “So, let me get this straight, you spent months making my life a living hell when in reality you were crushing hard core?” you asked, raising your eyebrows and felt a laugh bubble past your lips. “JJ, that’s so elementary school.”  

          “God, fuck, I know,” he groaned, dropping his head to rest his forehead against your jaw. “I couldn’t help it. You just made me so nervous, I couldn’t handle it.”    

        You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a moron.”

            “Hey,” He said, lifting his head to look at you. “Eventually, I got the girl, didn’t I? I’m not a total lost cause.” 

           You snorted, and lifted a hand to cover your face. “Oh, my fucking god.”

            JJ snaked an arm around your waist and rolled, forcing you to lay against his chest. “All of that was well worth it,” He murmured as your head settled into his warm neck. 

            “Yeah?” you shivered as his hands dug into your hair. 

            “Absolutely, pissing you off was like my favorite game to play,” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Not gonna lie, it always turned me on.” 

           You weren’t gonna lie either, you could remember a few arguments between the two of you that left your stomach burning and your cheeks hot. Weeks ago, you thought it was just the anger he riled up inside of you but now you realized it was the sexual tension.

             “Now your favorite game is sneaking into my bed,” You said as his other hand touched yours and you touched his rings on his fingers. 

            “You bet your sweet ass,” you could almost hear his grin.

             Eventually, you fell asleep, listening to his deep breathing and steady heartbeat. In the morning, JJ was no where to be seen. It always made you feel a bit sad when you woke up without him because you always went to sleep with him and you started to look forward to the day you could wake up with him.             You and Kiara had plans to join the boys later that night after work, so the day was spent at The Wreck. John B, JJ and Pope were all busy working, so you and Kiara decided to follow suit and work.

             Until Rafe walked into the restaurant.

             “Get lost, we don’t serve dickheads.” Kiara said, walking back behind the counter to grab some food while you pulled out a receipt out from the register.

             You fought a smirk as Rafe sighed and came to stand in front of you.  You kept your eyes down as he spoke, “I came to pick you up, Y/N.”

            “Excuse me?” you asked, your eyes looking up at him, confused.

             “She’s not going anywhere with you,” Kiara answered, coming to stand beside you.”

            Rafe licked his bottom lip and rubbed the back of his neck. “Your mom asked me to pick you up, can you just… please, come with me?”

            You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “get lost, Rafe.”

            “For god’s sake, your mom seemed freaked out, Y/N. I’m not lying,” he answered and dug his phone out of his pocket. You stared at him as he opened his phone and saw a text conversation between Rafe and your mother. 

            You snatched his phone and quickly read it. 

            How close are you to The Wreck? – Mrs. Thornton

             A few miles. Why? -Rafe

            Please pick up Y/N and bring her home. There’s been an emergency. -Mrs. Thornton

            You looked up at Rafe. Family emergency?

             His eyes rounded, “I’m not lying.”

            “Y/N,” Kiara said, “you want me to come?” 

           “No,” you breathed, finally looking at her. “Topper probably did something and she’s overreacting.”

            Kiara looked a little unsure, she really didn’t want you to go with Rafe but you knew Rafe wouldn’t leave until you went with him. “I’ll  meet you at JB’s tonight.” You promised her, “tell your dad I’m sorry for running out.” 

           You peeled the stained apron from you and followed Rafe out, getting into his car. What the hell could be the emergency? “You really don’t know what’s wrong?” You asked Rafe as he peeled out of The Wreck and headed to your home.

             “No,” he shrugged. “Topper keeps sending me to voicemail.”

            Your stomach started to fill with nerves and you sighed. You crossed your arms over your chest. It was awkward between you and Rafe, you two never got along. He was literally the biggest dick you had ever met. He had the biggest ego, the worst mouth on him. You could see how Topper was his closest friends, but he also charmed the pants off your mother and she utterly loved him.             You rolled your eyes at that thought.

             The second Rafe pulled into your driveway, you noticed Deputy Shoupe’s truck sitting beside Topper’s car. Uncle Mac’s car wasn’t here, but seeing the same truck that took JJ away in handcuffs had you a little worried. You got out of the car and Rafe followed after you, both of you silent as you pushed your front door open.

             Nerves mixed with fear as you walked into your kitchen to see Topper resting against the island, tears in is eyes. Your mom and dad sitting at the table, tears streaming down your moms face while you dad just sat there, his cheeks white as a ghost.

             “What’s going on…” you said slowly as Rafe stood beside you.             Your mom looked up at you, usually she looked so perfect. There was never a hair out of place, makeup done so well, but right now, as she stared at you, she looked like she just lost her whole world and so did your dad.

             “Honey,” your mom started. “Uncle Mac… there’s been an accident.”            You shook your head, not fully understanding her but all of sudden it clicked. So, when you shook your head, you started crying. “No, no, no,” you struggled to speak.

             Your dad finally looked at you, confirming that what your mother hadn’t said but what you realized she was trying to say was actually true.

             “Y/N,” your dad said, his voice filled with tears. He cleared his throat.             You felt a hand touch your elbow and you recoiled quickly. “Don’t touch me,” you hissed, stepping away from Rafe. Shoupe stood up and faced you. You held up your finger, “Mac, he’s fine. I spoke to him an hour ago.”

            “Y/N, I’m sorry,” Shoupe whispered, his eyes filled with regret. “Your uncle’s gone.” 

           “Don’t say that,” you cried, tears streaming down your face. You felt as if someone had just slammed a freight train into your chest. “Please, don’t say that.” 

           Gone? Like… gone? He couldn’t be gone. You thought to yourself but he was gone and you were suddenly hit with all of that pain again. It was like wave after wave of soul crushing pain.

             Rafe touched you again. You recoiled again and faced him, his own eyes filled with sadness. “Oh, my god.” You sobbed, covering your mouth as your stomach rolled.

             You leaned over at your hips and let out a cry. Your hands were covering your face but you felt foreign arms wrap around you tightly and Rafe’s soft voice beside your ear. “I’ve got you.” 

           You wanted JJ. You didn’t want to believe this was happening to you. Your uncle had to fly home in a few days and he promised that next summer you’d vacation with him and catch waves. He’d take you hiking. You had just made so many plans with him and now he was.. gone? 

           Somehow you ended up on the couch with Rafe holding you. If you tried hard enough, you could pretend he was JJ. Eventually the tears dried up, but you felt numb. Topper sat on the coffee table in front of you and was leaning on his elbows, his knuckles just centimeters from your knees. This was the closest you had been to Topper in a very long time. This was the closest you had ever been to Rafe. 

            Sometime during this, Shoupe had left but your mom was still at the kitchen table. Your dad was pacing.

             Your head was leaning on Rafe’s shoulder and his hand was pushing the hair off of your sweaty forehead. Topper’s tears had dried and he just stared at you, wondering how you two had come to this. How you two never spoke anymore, he knew nothing about you. He didn’t know your favorite color, your favorite type of music, all things he knew growing up, but now he knew nothing. 

            In the distance you could hear the front door slam open, followed by Kiara’s voice. “Y/N!”

            You lifted your head just in time to see JJ running into your kitchen, his eyes wild as he looked for you, Kiara hot on his heels. Your tears started again as you stood up and ran towards him. His arms opened instantly and caught you. You never felt so much relief before as his arms circled you and squeezed so tight you felt your back crack, you dug your face into the safety of his neck and felt Kiara’s arms wrap around you from behind.

             “The hell is he doing here?” Your heard your dad ask and only then did you remember that your parents had no idea that you were dating the guy that got arrested for sinking Topper’s boat.

             “I called them.” You heard Topper state as JJ kissed your cheek.             He slowly let go of you and you turned towards Kiara, who had tears in her eyes. Her arms wrapped around you and squeezed tightly, both of you unable to find the words to say. You pulled back and felt JJ’s hand touch the back of your head, both him and Kiara stood in front of you.

             “Thanks for calling us, Topper.” JJ said over your head before looking back down at you and wiped your tears away. “Let’s get some fresh air, yeah?”  he whispered, nodding his head to your back door.

             You followed JJ and Kiara out of your house and sat on the desk chairs. JJ sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders and this time, when you curled into him you didn’t have to pretend because JJ was really here.             Kiara sat in the chair in front of you, holding your hand. 

            “Did Topper really call you?” You whispered, feeling JJ’s lips touch your forehead.  

           Kiara nodded softly, “We had just gotten to John B’s when he called.” 

           “I can’t believe he’s gone,” You whispered, your throat tight again with tears. “He can’t be gone.” 

           Kiara’s eyes filled with tears as JJ’s arms wrapped tightly around you and pulled you into him. “We’re here for you, Y/N,” Kiara whispered, squeezing your hand. 

[nomattertheoceans]

feysand + “you know that your book is upside-down, right?”

Sooooo this has literally zero editing because I got inspired past midnight and now it's already near half past one and I just wrote for an hour instead of sleeping and I really want to publish it tonight before I sleep and wake up and think what I wrote is awful 😂 so I hope you enjoy it 😘😘😘

Also I'm sorry but I'm on mobile rn and I do t have the "under the cut" option

September

Feyre didn't really like the college library.

Well, that wasn't true. She liked her part of the library. She liked browsing through the countless books and academic papers about paintings from the sixteenth century. She loved the little booths were you could install your computer and still  have space to put down books and papers. And most of all, she loved that one booth in the far left corner, with a window with a view on the small patio in front of her.

She really liked the library, and the books, and the patio. What she didn't like was the view at the other side of the patio.

Because the library on the other side was the language section, and people there always seemed to work in group, and loudly. She couldn't even hear them, but still, it annoyed her to see them move around and laugh when she was trying to focus.

But she really liked her little booth on the far left corner, and she didn't want to give it up, so she kept working there even with the people on the other side of the patio.

October

God, that essay was going to kill her.

Sighing loudly, Feyre sat back on her chair and closed her eyes for a second. Just a second. Or maybe it had been a minute. Or more.

She didn't know how long she'd spent with her eyes closed, but when she opened them, she found a guy smirking at her from the other side of the patio.

She would have frowned, annoyed once again by what she saw there, except her brain didn't register her annoyance. Because that guy was gorgeous.

Short black hair sticking out on his head as if he'd passed his hand in it one too many times, broad shoulders and a strong built, and brown skin that contrasted with striking blue eyes. Eyes she could have lost herself in forever if she let it happen.

But he was still smirking, and it was getting on her nerves. So she crossed her arms on her chest and raised an eyebrow at him, hoping to make him look away. His smile only got bigger.

She saw him look down to grab a pen and paper, and she thought he'd moved  on from her when he looked back up and splayed the paper against his window.

You know your book is upside down, right?

She stared at the words for way too long, and finally looked down to her desk, realizing the book she'd pulled up against the window was indeed upside down. She'd been studying a detail in a painting and had needed to see it that way.

She grabbed a pen and started writing a very lengthy explanation about her thought process, but stopped herself midway. Why was she justifying herself to him? She didn't know him and didn't care what he thought about her. So she grabbed another paper and wrote quickly before putting it on the window.

I do. You know libraries are meant to study, right?

She saw him laugh, and he answered almost immediately.

It's hard to study with such a captivating view in front of me.

She stared at his answer, unable to think of what to say next. Was he talking about her? She was wearing an old grey sweatshirt and her hair was held up in a bun.  She wasn't even wearing makeup. Or maybe he was mocking her. 'Captivating' wasn't necessarily a compliment after all.

After a long minute of internal debate, she decided on ignoring him, and went back to her book. She really needed to finish that essay.

November

The stranger was back at the library most days, but he was alone. In the section where most people were working in groups. And she'd caught him throwing quick glances at her a few times, when he thought she wasn't looking. She should've been annoyed, but if she was being honest, she too found herself looking out the window more than usual when he was sitting there.

There hadn't been any more notes between them, but his comment about finding her captivating had stuck with her, and sometimes, she found herself mindlessly arranging her hair or changing her posture slightly when she knew he was over there.

Not today though.

Because today was the last day before her midterms, and she was late in her studies, and she couldn't have cared less if he was looking at her or not. She hadn't washed her hair in a week, and she was actually wearing a ridiculous onesie her roommate had gotten her as a goofy present and she had sworn never to wear outside of her bedroom.

Oh well.

She was lost in a commentary on female painters in France in 1748 when a movement across the patio caught her eyes.

Nice overalls

She rolled her eyes and grabbed something to write.

They're unicorn onesies

He laughed.

Way more sophisticated, you're right. I should've known better

She answered in under fifteen seconds.

Less than 24h before exam, no time to argue with you

And she went back to her book. 

When she looked back up a moment later, she saw that he was gone. But he'd stuck a paper on the glass. 

Good luck

December

They started talking more after that day. Well, talking was a bit of an exaggeration to describe what they were doing. Sticking papers on windows wasn't exactly what she would have called a normal conversation.

He was always the one starting it, and she felt grateful for it. Because for all that she loved writing back, she didn't think she would be able to grab the pen first.

The snow had started to fall over the weekend, and it was covering the patio between them. The night had fallen already, even though it was only 5 p.m., and the only lights were the ones from their respective sides of the library. They hadn't talked that day, he was focused on the screen of his computer, visibly absorbed in his work.

Normally, Feyre wouldn't have written anything. They didn't speak everytime, and she was okay with it. But today was special. She really wanted to talk to him today.

What are you working on?

She waited for him to see the paper for a long minute until finally he lifted his eyes to her and she saw him taking in her words.

Economy final essay due tomorrow morning. Still haven't started it

She let out a startled laugh.

Aren't you a bit late?

He smiled at her.

Not my first time winging it!

And then he wrote on a second paper, before she had time to answer.

What about you? Thought you'd already finished everything

She had. Three days earlier. And she hadn't wanted him to remember that. But of course he had, and now she had to tell him why she'd come.

Didn't feel like being alone tonight

A small frown on his forehead.

Oh?

It's my birthday today

And because he just stared at her with a small smile and a puzzled look, she took back her paper and added:

My roommate's out of town and I had nothing waiting for me at home.  Hoped you'd be here

He smiled, a genuine one this time, and she felt a feeling of joy spread through her body at the sight.

Happy birthday then

And then,

Do you want me to come over to your side?

She felt her throat tighten. It had always been a silent rule between them. They stayed on their side, they didn't meet. She didn't even know his name. And now she was conflicted, because she really really wanted him to hug her. But…

Their little conversation felt like a dream, a small bubble of calm in the constant storm that was her life. And if he came over to her side, the bubble wouldn't hold. She didn't want that. Not yet.

It's fine, thanks

January

She arrived at her booth one Thursday to find a package waiting for her, with a note pinned on it. She knew the handwriting well by now.

Sorry I came over to your side, but I found this over the holidays and thought of you.

She sat down and looked over, but he wasn't there. Was it on purpose? Maybe he didn't want to see her reaction. She gingerly grabbed the box and opened it, to find a present that made her chuckle. It was a blue sweater with a unicorn drawn at the front.

She felt heat creep up her cheeks. He'd thought of her. Outside of their conversation, he was thinking of her.

Just like she was thinking of him, almost every night. Of his gorgeous smile and the way he'd pass his hand through his hair when he tried to focus, and the fact that he loved to go to the cinema and had written her reviews about his favorite movie so long that she'd struggled to read it through the glass.

She thought of him often, and now he knew that he did too, and he'd given her this amazing thoughtful present and she couldn't even say thank you.

She toyed with the idea of going to his side and leave a word. But she wasn't ready for that. So she decided she'd wear the sweater the next time she'd see him.

February

I'd like to hear your laugh

The note came without warning, one cold winter morning of February. He'd told her about some embarrassing thing that had happened in his class that morning, and she'd laughed.  And then he'd written this, and now it had been a long minute and she still hadn't answered.

He looked back down and added something.

In my head it's the most beautiful sound I can imagine. I'd like to hear it for real

She felt herself blushing. Because she too had started to imagine his voice, like a low rumble, vibrating with intensity, but soft and warm at the same time. And she wanted to hear it.

So she gathered her things, got up, and without a look at him, walked away.

Rhysand

She'd walked away.

For months, he's been longing for the weird kind of conversation they'd established, loving the moments when they talked and cherishing every stolen glance in her direction.

That beautiful girl, with long, brown, messy hair, and a unicorn onesie. The girl with clear eyes that seemed to be blue, and freckles on her nose.

He'd loved their moments together, and he'd wanted more, but he felt that she didn't want more. For whatever reason he'd never dared to ask, she wanted to keep their relationship as it was.

But today she'd been so pretty in her red winter dress and he'd cheeks flushed by the cold, he hadn't resisted telling her how he truly felt.

And now she was gone.

He buried his head in his arms on the table, and let his mind wonder. God, he could kick himself for being so stupid and ruin everything. He'd known she was shy and yet he'd pushed and -

"I really don't know how you can work on this place, it's so noisy," a feminine voice interrupted his thought, and his head shot up. He looked to his left, and there she was, standing in front of him, her bag on her shoulder, her hair as messy as usual, a smile on her lips. Not believing his eyes, he got up, and found himself towering over her.

Her eyes were grey, not blue. And she had more freckles than he'd realized.

"I… I can't focus when there's no noise around." His voice came out a mere whisper and he mentally slapped himself. One chance to make a good first impression and he was ruining it.

But she was still smiling.

"I'm Feyre."

"Rhysand."

They both stayed silent for a moment, staring into each other's eyes as if they were seeing each other for the first time. Then Feyre talked again.

"So, Rhysand. Should we grab a coffee?"

Send me prompts!!!

[crimsonbluemoon]

60 for Minicat, please, the fucking phrasing of that prompt killed me on the spot

Starting off strong by going over my word limit!! >.> Fuck. Hope y’all enjoy <3

Pairing: MinicatNumber: 60Prompt: “I’m so madly and deeply in love with you, please meet me so we can discuss this.”

Tyler knew he was never going to win any boyfriend awards. When it came to romance, Luke and Brian had the prizes practically cemented on their foreheads. It was a bit over the top how often the group would be hanging out, and one of them would whip out a present or chocolate to give Ryan and Brock respectively. Their lack of self-awareness had no boundaries. Delirious tried to keep up, in his own goofy declarations of affection for Evan, but half the time they ended up with him on fire or in the hospital (one time both, and wasn’t that a fun fourth of July?). But Evan seemed to love his attempts more than his actual results, which somehow tossed even that idiot ahead of Tyler in the department of love.

Mini, to his credit, had never complained. He did chase after Tyler for six years without any real hint of reciprocation when they were teens, after all (Craig claimed the signs were always there, but Tyler thought he was just an idiot). Even the first year of their relationship had been tough, as Tyler hadn’t fully accepted their shift from friends to boyfriends easily. Craig was patient when he could be, which was probably the only reason they were still together four years later. Being twenty four helped him accept Mini’s physical affections and stupid nicknames, but his struggle to show his own love for his boyfriend was still the same. Craig never mentioned it, and Tyler would let hell freeze over before he brought it up, but he wasn’t blind enough to miss the bittersweet spark that caught Mini’s eye whenever one of their friends was showered with love in front of them.

Tyler knew he had to do something about it. 

“Chill out, dude.” Tyler growled at Brian’s words, throwing the stress ball against the wall. 

“Can’t.” His voice was clipped, back tight and muscles tensed for a battle he couldn’t fight. 

“Jesus, you’re worse than Del.” Luke waited until the ball rolled to his feet to kick it back toward Tyler, relaxed like he owned Brian’s apartment. “If you did exactly what we told you to, then it’s gonna be fine. Mini gets back from work at what time?”

“5:30pm,” Tyler answered. His eyes glanced to the clock, seeing that the time he’d announced passed twenty minutes ago. 

“And you had the flowers and… giraffe delivered at 5:45pm, right?” Brian asked, showing his lack of understanding over the choice of stuffed animal in his hesitant tone. 

“Yes, which was five fucking minutes ago.” 

“You signed your note, right? So he doesn’t think it’s just some creepy stalker.” Luke’s lack of trust in his romantic abilities should have made him mad, but he wouldn’t have been able to do any of the planning for the current ‘operation’ if not for the two assholes staring at him with arched eyebrows. 

“Yes I signed the fucking note! Put my heart and soul and all that other stupid fuffly shit in it just like you said. Gonna get an award from hallmark for ‘cheesiest note ever’.” Tyler didn’t tell them how many hours he spent writing and re-writing the three page long letter he’d tied around the giraffe’s neck before driving it to the delivery service. He hadn’t known how to start it, which memories to bring up or parts of their relationship he needed to highlight. How could he take a love a decade in the making and toss it onto a few pages of paper? He’d looked through photos and videos taken throughout the years, mostly by Craig himself, to guide him through the written confession of love. It was a road map of their journey, the good and the bad, because every crack in the road had only made them love each other a littler more than most. Tyler refused to tell them that the letter didn’t need a signature, because it was his literal heart inked into words for Mini to see.

He also refused to tell them about the ring taped to the bottom of the last page, and the four worded question he ended the letter with. 

“Then he’s going to love it. Just give him a second to process whatever you wrote before you assume he’s buying a ticket to Antarctica or something.” Tyler was ready to lob the ball at Brian’s head after the remark, but his phone’s loud ringtone stole the fire out of his veins. For a moment, he stared at the device, unsure if he’d be able to handle a rejection. What if Craig had wanted a bigger proposal? What if this felt…unromantic for him? It wasn’t in person and it probably felt distant, and Tyler was seriously re-thinking the entire thing. This was stupid, cheap, not sweet at all-

But then his mind reminded him of who was on the other line, the one person who’d never abandoned him, and he sucked in a breath before accepting the call.

“What?” He grumbled out, hating how Luke and Brian leaned in closer to try and listen to the call. 

“Did you mean it?” The tone that Craig used was so honest, so open, that Tyler didn’t even need a second to realize the pure elation that lingered in the tears on the other side of the phone. “God, nevermind, I don’t want to ask that. I know you’re overthinking it right now and you’ll try to take it back.” 

“I wasn’t,” he argued, despite thinking exactly that two minutes before. 

“You were probably like ‘oh this is dumb, fuck feelings, I shouldn’t have asked with the cutest stuffed giraffe and Mini’s favorite flowers that only I’d know’ blah blah blah-”

“I don’t even sound like that!” 

“You get that stuffy nose thing whenever you get emotionally constipated.” 

“Better than your snoring.” 

“Says the guy who can’t remember to flush the toilet at night.”

“Fuck you, I swear to God-”

“Yes.” The steadfast answer stole Tyler’s breath, Mini pressing forward after a sob of joy. “I’m saying yes, you romantic goofball, of course I’ll marry you.” 

“Fuck.” But even as he said it, his voice proved how relieved he was, his stomach flipping with unspoken excitement. It took everything in his body not to grin, his muscles vibrating. 

“Everything was perfect, and the note, it was-wow. I’m so madly and deeply in love with you. Please meet me so we can discuss this. And by this, I mean our wedding because I’m going to fuck you and then marry the fuck out of you.” Mini’s breathless declaration made Tyler’s ears turn pink on his side of the phone, refusing to look up at Brian’s grin or Luke’s snicker. 

“S-shut up, I’m coming home.” He hung up before he could hear Craig’s answer, glaring at his two friends watching him.

“When’s the wedding, Romeo?” Luke asked, grin too wide for Tyler to stomach. So he avoided it, pushing up onto his feet and moving across the room. 

“I’ve gotta go.” 

“Yeah, you’re welcome!” Brian called out after Tyler, who’d stormed out of the apartment in a flustered rush. Even through the slammed door, he could hear Luke’s wolf whistle, followed by two bursts of laughter that made him curse asking them for help. He hated them, hated the embarrassment and the favors he knew he’d owe them and the itch under his skin over feelings-

But he loved Mini, and that made it all worth it in the end.

[themattress]

Using this video as a segue into this post, which ignores the dregs of the Fandom Menace who were never going to like this movie and just distills the five main points made by critics.

1. It threw away what The Last Jedi established. 2. It's too chock-full of stuff and with too rushed a pace.  3. It has no deep themes and nothing insightful to say. 4. It lacks imagination and is all rehashing and nostalgia-bait fanservice. 5. It's a disappointing ending to both a trilogy and a nine-film saga.

1. This criticism seems to recur the most, since critics didn’t just like TLJ and Rian Johnson’s vision for the franchise, they loved it; they were blown away by it. So naturally it cuts deep when they see TROS set back a lot of what TLJ established (Rey actually does come from a noteworthy lineage, actually does have to undergo true Jedi training, and even ends up becoming a Skywalker. Finn is back to hanging out with Rey rather than Rose, and Rose herself has a minor role. Poe is prone to being reckless and hot-tempered again. Luke isn’t a grumpy old man anymore. Kylo Ren, after reforging his old mask, is redeemed while a decrepit old wielder of the Dark Side is the Big Bad. Hux doesn’t get much of a role and is killed off midway through. The Force-sensitive children like that “broom boy” don’t factor into anything. The story takes a familiar path rather than subverting audience expectations.) Honest Trailers even joked that the film was the long-awaited sequel to The Force Awakens rather than to The Last Jedi. And I can understand this critique, it’s a valid one to make. 

But I’d also have to argue that not only is J.J Abrams entitled to bring the story back in line with his old ideas from his time making TFA since Disney and Lucasfilm specifically reached out to him to direct TROS (and c’mon, Rian Johnson threw out TFA’s establishment first, if it’s wrong of J.J then it was wrong of Rian too), and that a film that exactly followed TLJ’s establishment like Colin Trevorrow’s unproduced Duel of the Fates would feel too bleak and wrong for the franchise, but that the movie doesn’t ignore TLJ as much as it’s made out. The events of TLJ still happened exactly as we saw them, they are still acknowledged, and they are even built upon in interesting ways. I loved seeing Luke no longer a grumpy old man because that’s what TLJ’s climax set up with him: he learned the error of his ways and re-embraced his status as a Jedi and as a legend. The galaxy coming to the Resistance’s aid in the final battle is the perfect pay-off to them not doing so in the Battle of Crait and shows how Luke’s last stand really did inspire hope once more. I loved the three-way power struggle in the First Order between Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Hux and (representing Palpatine’s interests) Pryde. I thought Palpatine being behind Snoke made perfect sense. I’m glad Rose was still present at all. I though Kylo Ren’s redemption was handled very well. And I loved Rey becoming a Skywalker in the end, that just felt like such a right conclusion to me.

2. There’s an easy explanation as to why it’s chock-full with stuff - Kathleen Kennedy didn’t require Rian Johnson to adapt any of it in TLJ even though much of it was conceived by J.J Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan when making TFA. J.J literally needed to fit two movies’ worth of content into this one movie because TLJ spent too much time wheel-spinning and navel-gazing (and keep in mind that I like TLJ; but I’m not going to pretend like it didn’t screw the pooch on multiple fronts). As for the pace, I definitely agree when it comes to the first act and whoever thought it was a good idea to excise so much of what was filmed for it needs to be slapped upside-down the head. But things start to improve after the big Pasaana canyon race, and once they get off Pasaana altogether the pace settles down into the usual SW film groove. I think critics were so burned by that first half-hour that it colored their impression of the rest of the film, even when looking at it objectively the rest of the film does have a lot more breathing room and calmer, introspective moments between the big action set pieces. 

3. I see this a lot from critics and am all...?????? I’m sorry, did we watch the same movie!? “They win by making you think you’re alone, but there’s more of us”. “Your mother’s gone. But what she stood for, what she fought for.... that’s not gone.”  “We had each other. That’s how we won.” “Your spirit...your heart...some things are stronger than blood”. These themes are every bit as spelled out as the themes from TLJ that critics praised so much...but then, critics thought that one of TLJ’s themes was the villain’s justification of his own atrocities (”Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to”) so maybe them missing all of these themes isn’t so surprising. 

4. First off, the “lacking imagination” criticism will always astound me when The Force Awakens is one of the most critically praised films in the series and it literally ripped off the entire plot structure of A New Hope. None of the “member berries” in this film came close to that level of rehashing. Secondly, Star Wars has been all about nostalgia and pleasing crowds (”fanservice”) since its inception, and recycling various set-ups and tropes and sequences has been a thing for a long time (to quote George Lucas: “It’s like poetry, they rhyme.”) And lastly, this is the finale to the Skywalker Saga, so of fucking course it’ll be full of nostalgia and fanservice and sequences reminiscent of all the previous films! It’s a celebration as well as a send-off! Avengers: Endgame is a critical darling, and it literally traveled back in time to several of the past movies that led up to it! So what’s the problem here? I, for one, thought it was very cleverly and seamlessly done for the most part, and being done in the framework of a dumb, goofy blockbuster (which was all Star Wars was originally meant to be; it was never meant to be taken as seriously as it unfortunately has).

5. The main reasoning behind this criticism is that TROS fully exposes and embodies Disney and Lucasfilm’s lack of planning when it came to the Sequel Trilogy, which is so disheartening that it makes this finale a disappointing one to both the trilogy and the whole saga. First of all, every finale has been considered disappointing in their times: ROTJ was possibly even more loathed by fans and critics (while still enjoyed by general audiences) than TROS, and while ROTS got middling reviews from critics, it was still considered to be flat-out bad just like its predecessors by fans - being the least bad of them wasn’t high praise (even the general audience enjoyment seemed more tepid compared to ROTJ and TROS). On all fronts, the perception of the movies only improved with age, so that will likely be the same case here.

More importantly, anyone who did their homework or even some simple critical thinking not only could have realized that there was no plan for the Sequel Trilogy from the days of TLJ, but from the days of TFA. From the moment that movie rehashed the plot of A New Hope and relied heavily on Mystery Boxes to hook viewers, I knew there was no solid plan for this trilogy and that they were making it up as they went along. When you’re aware of this fact well in advance, I think that you end up being more impressed by TROS for being able to wrap the trilogy and saga up in the tight, definitively close-ended way that it did. I know that I certainly was. Much of this had to do with J.J Abram’s idea to bring back Palpatine. People whine that he was brought in with no foreshadowing at the last minute and that he was nowhere near the Sequel Trilogy beforehand and that him being here makes ROTJ pointless, and yet not only was Palpatine everywhere near the whole saga from the very beginning (which, as J.J has said, would make it bizarre for it to end without him), but ROTJ was already made pointless by TFA by its decision to reverse all the heroes’ victories and bring back the Empire. If Palpatine, the Emperor, the very creator of the Empire, did not find a way to return from his defeat in ROTJ and was thus not behind the Empire’s resurrection, how fucking cheap would that be? Some random other decrepit, all-powerful Dark Side wielder just came along and brought it back to the point of reversing all the heroes’ victories? And then he gets supplanted by Han and Leia’s son, which would make the Sequel Trilogy and whole saga’s Final Boss the guy who humiliatingly got his ass handed to him in both previous films’ climaxes? IMHO, the Sequel Trilogy really would suck if that was what it amounted to! That would be a true “disappointing ending to both a trilogy and a nine-film saga.” When it comes to the film series (the Skywalker Saga), the only valid excuse for not ending the conflict with the Empire in ROTJ is if the Emperor wasn’t truly vanquished in it. Period.

It ain’t J.J’s fault that he was actually looking at the bigger picture while critics were not.

Bonus: another video plug, because this guy is a Star Wars fan that truly deserves it.

[craveher]

So we've heard a bunch of sexual stuff so now a bit for the nitty gritty: what things make you happy, besides the unconditional love of your bf of course?

Aw this is cute 💖 I actually have a lot of little things now, things I never thought I’d have because my life is so different than when I was at my worst.

-this one Chinese place where Brendan grew up that has the absolute best vegan options. I literally go crazy for them haha

-my sketchbooks, I go through them all once in a while and I have about 7 now!

-picture of me and my adopted mom on my desk

-our new couch, it’s green velvet and we love it

-pretty much everything in our apartment. No room is really complete yet but we’re slowly filling it up

-my bio dad and family on his side. Now that he’s in my life I feel a lot better about my family. I understand where I get certain traits, physically and emotionally. And having pride in my Puerto Rican heritage is new and interesting to me! we’re all planning a trip to Puerto Rico once quarantine is done and more people are vaccinated

-Taylor Swift, Hozier, Bleachers, Lorde, all some of my favorite musicians I listen to daily. My whole Spotify makes me happy tbh. I make playlists for like everything

-Diet Pepsi. Favorite drink, obsessed and I will never not love going through a drive through and getting one, I think it’s just a childhood thing haha

-Harley Quinn, love the character and collect soooo much harley stuff, it’s slowly filling our office haha.

-snow globes! It’s dorky but I collect snow globes, one day I want to go to the first snow globe store that is being run by the family of the man who invented snow globes ☺️

-clothes, I love expressing my style because I grew up so afraid to. I wore what I thought looked cool (although poorly so I didn’t haha) and not what I liked. I used to have such cute outfits, like this vintage suspended pink striped skirt from the 70s that my great grandma made. But I was too scared to wear it to school, I just wore it at our house.

-I mean Sparty of course but that’s a given, like Brendan is 💖

-video games! My favorites are, Animal crossing, Stardew Valley, Deep Rock Galactic, Skyrim, the Sims, Beholder, lots of random indie games, Etc. I just started Stardew and made my farm cute so I’m happy about that!

-whiskey. Maybe that’s bad but I love good whiskey and a cigar once in a while. Brendan’s dad started it, now we all sit on the porch and smoke and drink together. He’s seriously a great person, I love Brendan’s family.

-movies, I watch soooo many movies. I can’t keep track of all my favorites because there’s so many at this point. Studio Ghibli ones are my go-tos for whatever mood I’m in. I’ve also watched Into the Spiderverse well over 30 times now, I just love the animation, story, and music so much.

-speaking of which, comic books. I read a lot, books in general but also a ton of comic books. Junji Ito, marvel, and DC are my favs but i do occasionally find some online I enjoy too.

-my siblings. I have 11 siblings and I’m close with all but one really. They mean a lot to me and I invite them over when I can but quarantine has been hard so we all have to wait to be vaccinated for them to be able to hang out indoors really.

-I know you mentioned Brendan but I have to really mention him myself. Our first place just to us and hes wonderful. He puts up with all my stupid shit, irrational jealousy and sadness, he just makes it all go away. He encourages me in therapy and helps me eat and he doesn’t expect anything in return. I do give him everything, my whole world. I spoil him endlessly in every way haha. We’ve really changed each other for the better. I met him a few days after my suicide attempt. I was giving up on dating for a while but fuck if I didn’t ignore that entirely when I saw him. I told everyone I was going to talk to him, and he came up first and I asked if he wanted to listen to some music with me and he agreed. It’s our favorite album to listen together now. We’ve been best friends since. I run around the house pantsless and dancing and chasing Sparty and trying to make him laugh in embarrassing and goofy ways and he just smiles and I feel great. Sorry for the rant, but I’ve realized that although I’m struggling with my ED, I genuinely have so much to be happy for and I’m so grateful.

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box

Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house.  It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave  me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again.  So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .

Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe. 

No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?

Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard.  Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...

Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom  and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio. 

Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit.  Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that.  Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship. 

Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner. 

Lana: Gets  a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too. 

Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night.  Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds.  The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family.  We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding. 

So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason. 

The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD. 

I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s  only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....

Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy. 

But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde.  Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori.  When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...

So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in  longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN  AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER  you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch.  Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style. 

So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints. 

Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine.  Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family. 

And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.

So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas.  So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes... 

And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan.  And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard. 

So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better.  So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in  a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much.  Final THoughts:  If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day. 

And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord. 

[godzillionaire]

I’m going to gripe a bit at length about the ending of Harley Quinn S2, since it aired on Friday. These were all originally tweets that I’ve copied and pasted over. I’m putting this under a cut since there’s spoilers. 

So, the pivotal part of my complaint: Harlivy is canon now. And that's awesome! I've been hoping that's where the show was going to go since S1E1. For most of S1, it felt like that was the direction it was heading, and I loved it. But were any gay people actually writing this? I ask because, you know what gay people DON'T want to see? Relationships that start out as weird tension, become a drunken mistake, and then get hastily slapped together - at the expense of someone else's happiness, that we're guided to feel sympathy for.

The ENTIRE TIME, the show was working on the idea that Kite Man = goofy & weird, pretty immature, but ultimately well-meaning (in context), enthusiastic, kinda traumatized (by his parents), and deserving of something better. Some of this was played for humor - but not completely. The joke AT FIRST was that Ivy was out of his league. But over time, they actually form a meaningful connection, that was tied in with Ivy processing her own trauma and trust issues - and for a comedy show, HQ actually did a decent job of connecting & showing these things.

I was never, at any point, really into the idea that Ivy + Kite Man could be a legit thing. Ivy's connection w/Harley always seemed stronger, despite Harley having growing to do (which she did - most of S1 was her processing her breakup. Done pretty well. Felt thorough.) But it seemed like the show wanted to stick to the idea that Ivy+Kite Man was viable. It spent a lot of effort exploring that & showing growth, showing support for each other, really making a case for it.

I chalked it up to the usual comp-het stuff and moved on, somewhat disappointed bc I was, as I mentioned, rooting for Harlivy, but frankly any gay person is used to this. 2 characters have a DEEP bond, but they don't end up together, because we've gotta have a straight romance.

But then - after all that - suddenly the show pivots to push for Harlivy after all. REALLY quickly. ABSURDLY quickly - to the point where it actually feels like it was a last-minute decision. The leadup of this essentially happens over the course of just a few steps:

-Ivy+Harley escape from Bane's pit and kiss in relief. 

-They brush this under the rug & chalk it up to emotions running high.

-They get drunk & fuck a couple times @ Ivy's bachelorette party. Ivy expresses some regret, but somewhat passively ('oh, dammit. not again' esque)

-Harley VERY SUDDENLY realizes she's in love w/Ivy 

-Ivy VERY BRIEFLY admits they COULD have a relationship, but that Harley is too emotionally reckless. 

-Harley goes back and forth on wanting to prove she's trustworthy, or accepting that and moving on.

-Kite Man finds out, is sad. Ivy tries to prove she's dedicated to him. They attempt to get married anyway. 

-Wedding is crashed, Kite Man changes his mind & breaks up w/Ivy. 

-Ivy basically goes "Oh well!" and she and Harley escape together, deciding they're a couple immediately.

It looks a little long when you see it listed in like that, but all of that takes place over essentially just a few episodes - out of 26 total - and EVERYTHING after Kite Man finds out happens in 1 episode, alongside a bunch of other show-typical shenanigans.

It's very jarring in a show that took an entire season and a half to let Harley emotionally process everything that happened with the Joker. They set an emotional pace for themselves (that I thought worked really well!) and then threw it into a blender. To go from that level of pacing and emotional depth to everything that happened with Harley and Ivy in the last half of season 2 makes the entire thing feel incredibly rushed and underdeveloped. It's a huge shame.

I can tell that the show was heading towards them being together from the beginning - there's definitely groundwork - but it feels like all that work was supposed to pay off not by the end of S2, but by the end of S3.

For a show that was incredibly dedicated to exploring a character's inner emotional process, and showing them struggle through multiple stages of emotional healing, it sure feels like they didn't want to spend that time with ANY character for the last part of S2. Ivy goes RIGHT from processing that her trust issues stem from emotional neglect from her father to doing absolutely no inner reflection on what she feels and why. It doesn't match the established pace, and it makes the whole scenario seem REALLY sloppy.

Essentially, it feels like they slapped a series of quick-fixes on a HUGELY important scenario they have been building up to this whole time, with the biggest and messiest being Kite Man deciding halfway through the wedding (& in the middle of an anxiety fit) to call it off. He says "You don't really want this, and I deserve better." Ivy admits that he's right, and then goes to Harley, and tells her she loves her. 

 And that's. It.

There's no inner reflection on Ivy's part about the differences between the lives she and Kite Man each want. There's no delving into how her past trauma plays into how she responded to his love. There's not any spoken reason for why she loves Harley - just that she "gets" her.

At the end of the season, the show's message is: these 2 women are perfect for each other, and the thing in the way of their love is gone. Happy ending! But the 'thing' in the way was a character they spent 2 seasons building up to be sympathetic. The show literally shows that the only way for this relationship to exist is at the expense of another person's happiness, and it's SUPER uncomfortable. It doesn't make sense, and it's frankly painful for a gay person to watch, since this is the only gay relationship in the show.

Kite Man gets cheated on and lied to by a person he's entirely dedicated himself to, someone he shared vulnerability and emotional development with. The show spends a lot of time on that development, but then doesn't develop the relationship away at all. It's not a pendulum swinging the same arc back another way. It's more like a bird being shot out of the sky. 

I feel like in this way, the show is cannibalizing itself - it's smashing its own efforts, in order to get to point B.

I don't want to see gay rep that's show to be at the expense of someone else's happiness. I want gay rep that has meaning and development, the same as the straight rep in the show. This wasn't that. This was slapdash as fuck.

This was INCREDIBLY fucking rambly so here's the tl;dr: 

 Endgame Harlivy wasn't given the same development as the rest of the show, and instead felt rushed, uncared-for, and actually mean-spirited. I'd love to write a 'fix' for it. The setup was good, after all. But, well....we’ll see. 

Anyway. Don’t watch the HQ show for Harlivy. Watch it for Bane. And Killer Croc knitting “GOD’S DEAD” beanies. But mostly Bane.

[gveret-fic]

Supercorp: "Lena, there's no time to explain but your answer to this next question could very well determine the fate of the universe: Can I have a smooch?"

The whole universe narrows down into a fewburning points of awareness in that moment. The delicate pressure of four of Kara’sfingertips against her arm, the pinkie too light to feel at all; that direct, earnest,somewhat wild eye contact that feels precarious but utterly unbreakable; theslightly elevated breath between them, escaping from barely parted lips, cooledby the distance and setting fire to Lena’s nerves—it’s as if time freezes justthen, Lena’s life flashing before her eyes like in a cheap TV drama, teeteringright on that treacherous margin between fantasy and reality. Truly the mostridiculous, farfetched, over the top manifestation of blatant wish fulfillment.

Of course Lena says, “Yes.”Of course her voice breaks on that single most monosyllabic of words.

And Kara’s face lights up. Like it does whenpresented with enough dinner to feed an army. Like it does when a family she’srescued is reunited, unsteady and shivering but strong and whole. Like it doesafter a very good, wholehearted, unselfconscious sort of hug. “Thank you,I—I’m sorry we—Thank you, Lena.”

She brushes her fingers over Lena’s cheek,grazing over her lips; a brisk, confident motion, almost impersonal. Lena’swhole body throbs. Kara tips Lena’s head back with that same efficiency,knuckle and thumb trapping a triangle of warmth between them against the skinof Lena’s chin.

Lena’s lips part as her eyelids slide closed,involuntary, helpless with anticipation. Kara lets out a breath, and Lena hearsit, crisp and ragged against the pulse in her ears, but she feels itmore than that: against her lips; slipping warm and ghostly past.

Kara is close enough to kiss. Not byaccident, not by some goofy happenstance. Kara Danvers is close enough to kissbecause that’s what she’s going to do.

The first touch isn’t much of anything atall; an experimental, simple press of lips, that same workmanlike approach. Itsends a thrill from Lena’s scalp right down to her toes. She closes her lipsagainst Kara’s, a hint of a taste she knows could burn her down. Karawithdraws.

Lena tries to tilt her head, thoughtlessly chasingafter that thrilling contact, but Kara’s grip is light, gentle, and unyieldingas ever. Lena moans.

Kara doesn’t mind, though, maybe. She mustn’t,because then she’s back, head angled and another implacable hand cupping Lena’sjaw and that hot, controlled, impossible mouth.

Lena closes her eyes, and allows herself tobe engulfed.

When Kara pulls back, dragging Lena’s breathalong with her, she almost looks like she’s blushing. But then—no, she isn’tblushing, she’s glowing­, emitting very literal light and warmth tomatch the way she’s lit up Lena’s body.

She flares hot and blazing for a moment,yellow, almost red, like fire, and she grins at Lena even brighter than the sun,and then she’s gone.

.

.

It wasn’t really a kiss. It was the best kissof Lena’s life, the best thing in it, likely, but it wasn’t real. Oncethe sparkly pink haze settles down and Lena’s nerve endings stop sparking likelivewires, she realizes it right quick.

Kara didn’t kiss her because she wanted tokiss her. She kissed her because, for whatever cruel but likely karmicallyjustified reason, she needed to. She even said so, right from the outset.

This wasn’t a real kiss. Real kisses don’thave a purpose, serve no function other than pleasure, the expression of affectionand desire. This was a kiss to save the world.

Cold. Calculated. Utilitarian. Perfect for aLuthor.

.

.

It’s an alien virus, Kara explains. She’dcontracted it three weeks ago, and ever since then her powers hadn’t workedright. Until last night.

Lena refuses to beat around the bush. “Whya kiss? Why me?”

���Well, um, the only source we’ve foundfor this thing is in an ancient text in a language that’s no longer inuse,” Kara struggles to explain, gesturing stiltedly. “We’veconsulted this planet’s, I mean, the leading alien linguists worldwide, but wecould only really translate some rudimentary instructions for a treatment.Luckily, there were also illustrations, and they were a bit more, um.Explicit.”

“Explicit… kissing?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Kara laughs nervously.“I can show you. If you want.”

“I’d appreciate it. And any informationyou can spare on this virus.”

“Oh, yeah! I bet you can help. Don’tworry, it isn’t transmittable to humans. I would never expose you to somethinglike that, Lena,” Kara says intently.

Lena softens. She knows, of course she knowsby now that she and her wellbeing matter to Kara, but the reminder never failsto warm her. “I know,” she reassures. “But, to my secondquestion…”

Kara grimaces, avoiding eye contact. “I’msorry. That was asking a lot, wasn’t it? I probably shouldn’t have donethat.”

She had been braced for something like this,certainly, but Lena still finds herself struggling to conceal bruised feelingsand crumpled hopes. “You shouldn’t have?” she asks carefully.

“I really wasn’t trying to—to takeadvantage,” Kara bumbles, wringing her hands in an absentminded fidgetthat might well twist steel beams. “I’m not—it’s not—sexual.” Thatword in hushed tones, like a primary schooler. Like a straight girl. “Ilove you, you know? I don’t like using you. It’s just, the world was kind ofliterally in danger, and I needed a quick fix…”

Lena remembers fingers at her chin, directingher head about, hot breath on her skin, a frozen moment of searinganticipation. Quick fix. “I see.”

“And you—you—” Kara’s fingertipsturn white from digging into her other hand, a grip that would tear through concretelike paper. “I don't—I can’t say why. J'onn—the minute J'onn read thewhole thing, he took me aside and, um. He was pretty sure it had to be you. Andby pretty sure, I mean very sure. More like dead certain. He had that intensebut considerate look, you know?”

Lena is quite convinced she doesn’t.

“It doesn’t mean I—it doesn’t meananything,” Kara says a little pleadingly, offering the words like acomfort. The shitty, jagged, barbed wire sort of comfort that lodges in theheart of hopeful idiots and tugs.

Lena swallows down all the pieces of herheart and falls back on a businesslike demeanor, her most rudimentary façade. “Therewere extenuating circumstances,” she says with a magnanimity she doesn’tfeel. “I understand.”

Kara’s face twists again, and then lifts. Shefinally meets Lena’s eyes. “It won’t happen again,” she vows, quietand certain and clearly embarrassed.

Lena wants to reassure her, wants tocontradict her, wants to grab her stupid beautiful face and kiss her again.

Instead, she nods. And Kara relaxes.

.

.

It happens again.

Lena is fiddling around with a particularlystubborn spreadsheet when Kara crashes into her office, injured and bleeding, waversfor a moment, and crashes into Lena’s desk. Her paperwork goes flying.

“Motherfucker!”

“Hi, Lena,” Kara gasps, trying valiantlyto pick herself up. “I think—I think I need some help.”

Lena walks around the remains of her desk togrip Kara by the arms. One of them is painted red from a wound in her side.“You don’t say.”

“I’m so sorry to ask this of youagain,” Kara says, ragged and sincere. “Lena. Feel free—feel free tosay no.”

Lena laboriously wrestles Kara onto her feet,drags her over the couch and shoves a Capri Sun in her hand. “Of courseI’m not saying no. You’ve left a trail of blood all across my office floor.”

“Whoa! Did I?” Kara looks aroundand jumps a little, as if the freely bleeding gash in her side is news to her. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Youscared me.” She sees Kara open her mouth and holds up a finger. “Uhp!Don’t apologize.”

“Thank you, Lena.” Kara says itlike a sigh, and deflates along. She looks—bad. Gray around the edges.“I'm—I swear, it’s not that—it’s not that I want to kiss you, Ijust—”

Lena’s breath hisses sharply through herteeth. It’s one challenge after another today. “Kara,” she says,sweet and dangerous. “Shut up, would you.”

“‘Kay,” Kara says so immediatelyand in such a small voice that despite everything, Lena can’t help smiling.

What can she do, she really is in love withthis doofus.

They meet just a little off center, Kara blurryand uncoordinated, her lips grazing Lena’s chin with Lena almost getting amouthful of nose. It feels almost… exploitive, kissing Kara like this,something unseemly in sharing a moment as vulnerable as a kiss with her alreadyso defenseless. Supergirl, dragged down from the sky and into the arms of aLuthor.

But Kara braces her hand around the back ofLena’s neck, and she dives into their kiss with the sort of magnetic,energizing fervor that Lena is endlessly mystifies by but which seems to comeso naturally to Kara, and—as their lips fit together, like seven differentkinds of magic, she once again begins to glow.

Kara draws back slowly, and Lena watches withlidded eyes and wavering breath as Kara’s skin knits back together, her eyessharpen, her whole being shimmers; Lena’s half expecting a wind, summoned outof nothing, to gently blow away her hair.

I did that, Lena thinks, and maybeglows a little, too.

“You’re really good at this,” Karabreathes, lips still red and glistening. She sways closer, thumb tracing a carefulhalf circle across Lena’s throat, eyes fixed on her mouth. All at once, shedrops her hand and leans away. “Not that I like—”

“Yes,” Lena cuts her off sharply,irritable at being yanked so unceremoniously back to earth. “I know, thankyou.” She softens, against her better judgment, sweeps a loose curl ofgolden hair off Kara’s glowing shoulder. “Stay safe.”

“I will. Thanks to you.” Kara iswearing her dopey, blissful post-kiss smile. Post-power up, Lenacorrects herself. As Kara hasn’t yet failed to mention, it has nothing to dowith the kissing. “My hero.”

Lena watches her shoot up into the sky, ablurry, shimmering dot, the imprint of her thumb still burning against Lena’sthroat, and tries very hard not to let those parting words sink all the waydown to where they want to go.

.

.

Kara sends her scans of the alien texts.Scans of the alien illustrations, too.

Explicit is indeed an apt word for them.

None of the beings depicted have anythingparticularly analogous to human genitalia, but the intent is quite clear.Unambiguous, but tasteful, in a way. There’s a certain tenderness to them. Itseems obvious that this is an embrace between two (or more, it’s reasonablyhard to tell) individuals who care for each other. Certainly on the… classierend of deeply outlandish erotica.

It also seems apparent why the DEO had deemedkissing to be the less risky option.

Cold comfort, however, when Lena feels atrisk of losing herself entirely.

.

.

It becomes a sort of deranged, destabilizing,electrifying routine.

The feeling of rightness when their lips fittogether, Kara’s tongue in Lena’s mouth, her hand warm and rigid in Lena’shair. The indescribable rush of witnessing firsthand the magical transformationof Kara recharging, as she shines with power and energy and delight, andknowing Lena was its catalyst. Going home alone, slipping into her neatly madebed with a vibrator and headphones and trying her very hardest to imagine anyfucking thing else as she comes.

Lunch the next day, with Kara no longer tryingto convince either of them that this won’t happen again, with the tension ofthe mutual knowledge that it will, that it has to, that neither of them feelsabout it the way that they should.

The unspoken,unavoidable new closeness between them, awkward and strange and exciting, reshapingtheir relationship in ways Lena can’t yet articulate, and absolutely wouldn’t,if she could.

It goes on, and Lena adjusts. She’s quitegood at adjusting. This is just another type of longing.

They stop waiting for Kara’s powers to fadecompletely; Lena would rather not see Kara bleed if she can help it. They mightshare a kiss every four or five days, now: in between meetings, at the end oflunch, early in the morning through Lena’s apartment window. If this arrangementbegins to resemble something Lena knows very well the name of, if she hasstarted relying on it like she does on her weekly therapy sessions, if sheneeds to change batteries much more frequently nowadays—well. She tries not todwell.

.

.

It’s been two weeks since their last kiss, arather unusually long while. Kara is starting to look a little pallid, but shedoesn’t mention it, and Lena doesn’t push. It isn’t that kind of relationship.

Not the kind of relationship where peoplecommunicate, Lena thinks darkly.

But then Kara tells her a bad a pun, and laughsat her own joke, lighting up all on her own—

Whatever kind of relationship this is, Lenawill take it, and thank the stars for being gifted the opportunity.

.

.

Lena receives Alex’s alert during herpost-all nighter power nap. She rides the DEO car in an unpleasant combination ofgrogginess and sharp alarm, and arrives at the military proving grounds just intime to see a gray shape pick up a red and blue figure and throw her right outof the sky.

Kara slams straight into an old concretewall, sliding down in a shower of debris.

The green dot that’s likely J'onn rushes oneof the assailants up above, the black dot that must be Sam bodily dragging twoothers through the air. Lena wrestles out of her heels, chucks them aside and headsfor Kara in a dead sprint, only pausing to cower away from a rain of shatteredglass.

She doesn’t spare a glance upward, not whenKara is small and immobile and so unnervingly earthbound. As unnatural as afalcon laid out on its side in the middle of the road.

Lena struggles to her knees beside her in herstupid tight fucking skirt, palms Kara’s dusty, bloodied face. If only they’drecharged before this, none of this would have happened. “Shit,”Lena mutters, tasting bile in her throat. “Kara. Come on. Come on,darling. Look at me.”

She smoothes away Kara’s hair, rubs vigorouslyover her shoulders, her chest. Kara’s eyelids flutter, head lifting bypainstaking degrees. “Mrrm,” she mumbles, like a big, injured, capedcat. “Oh… Hey, beautiful.”

Lena lets out a wet gasp of a laugh.“Thanks, charmer. I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

Lena bends forward, eyes already slippingshut when she’s halted by a palm to the face.

“Nooo,” Kara moans, feebly rollingher head side to side. “No no no. Nuh uh. No way.”

Lena bats the hand away, annoyance and anxietyclashing. “Kara, what the fuck? You almost died up there. Please.”

“It’s not fair to me,” Karamumbles.

“It’s not fair to you?” Lenarepeats incredulously.

“It’s trizvialising my feelings,”Kara explains, equally earnest and absurd.

“Wh-what?”

“’S Alex says.” Kara shakes herhead again. “’S not healthy.”

“Well, I don’t think getting beaten to apulp is very healthy for you either!”

Kara keeps stubbornly shaking her head, thenlets it droop down against her chest. Anxiety rises thick and suffocating inLena’s throat, but when Kara lifts her head back up, there’s a new clarity inher eyes.

Kara wipes her nose on her forearm, smearinga bright streak of blood across the right side of her face. “I can’t kissyou anymore,” she says plainly. “Because, I figured it out. Why it’syou. Of course it’s you. Lena. I’m hopelessly in love with you, you know.”

Confession done, Kara sags again, a superheroshaped balloon leaking air. Lena can see her own fingers bunched in Kara’suniform, white-knuckled and pushing hard to keep Kara propped against the wall,but she can’t feel them at all. A bright, impatient, staticky feeling hasovertaken her body.

Her voice bubbles up out of nowhere. “Kara,you fucking idiot.”

Kara blinks at her sluggishly. “Wuh?”

“You shitty… fucking… jerk!”

“Nooo, I’m nice!”

“You are not nice! You have beenkissing me stupid for weeks and telling me it meant nothingto you!”

“Well, I—I was lying!” Kara proclaims.

Lena ignores her entirely. “And I wentalong with it, again, and again, and again, like a self-destructive piece ofshit, soaking up every little scrap of misplaced affection, because I don’tthink there was ever a time when I wasn’t pathetically, desperately in lovewith you.” She lets go of Kara to muffle a sob in her hands, and Karaslides down a couple of incongruously comical inches before catching herself onher elbows. “God.”

Kara laboriously pushes herself back up,reaches for Lena with clumsy hands. “Shh. Shhh. C'mere.” Kara pullsher closer, makes uncoordinated attempts at wiping the tears off her face,settling her hair. Lena can feel it get messier. She leans into the touch. “Lena.Lena. Don’t cry. I am a stupid idiot jerk, you’re right.”

A sniffly sound of outrage escapes Lena. “No,I’m not! You are the most incredible, courageous, brilliant woman in thisuniverse! Don’t you ever say that to my face again!”

“Uhhh…” Kara’s stupid wonderfulface makes a stupid wonderful little O. “Okay.”

“I love you so much,” Lena sobs.

Kara is nodding vigorously now. “Minetoo. Me, me too. Allll so much.” She grimaces, stops nodding. “Lena,I think, I’m a bit cun—concussed? Maybe?”

Lena laughs a little hysterically. “Abit! Yes.” She wipes roughly at her eyes, grips Kara by the shoulders,takes in a noisy breath through her nose. She’s going to have to do thisagain. “Shit. All right.”

“Sorry,” Kara tells her, for themillions infuriating time these past months.

Lena fixes her with her sternest look, Lillianflavored. “I’m doing this because I love you, got it?” She would giveher a shake for good measure, except Kara is a solid slab of granite and alsoterrifyingly hurt.

Kara’s grin blooms wide and goofy andbloodstained: perfect. “Really? Cool,” she says, and Lena kisses her.

She tastes like dust and blood and the saltfrom Lena’s tears. Tastes like fear and pain and heartache—but triumph, too,and determination, and love. Love. Kara loves her. Kara loves her, and thiskiss—this fake fucking kiss that has a function, that isn’t real, this will betheir last. The next one, the next one is going to have no purpose at all. Thenext one will be decadence, self indulgence, hedonism epitomized.

Vow made, Lena opens her eyes to the nowfamiliar glow of a well-kissed Kara. Kara, whose reinvigorated arms around herare currently the only thing keeping Lena from dropping fifty feet onto theasphalt below.

Seems even a fake kiss is enough to cause abit of spontaneous, unconscious flight. Quite gratifying, really.

Lena licks her thumb, rubs at the dryingblood on Kara’s face and wipes it off on her shirt sleeve. “Go get 'em,”she says.

Kara giggles. “Yeah.” She glancesdown. “Um. I’ll just, put you down first.”

She tightens her hold around Lena’s waist,gently floats them down. Kara’s hair settles around her like a halo. She letsgo of Lena with a last lingering touch and steps back.

“Actually, you know what?” Karaturns back sharply, snakes an arm back around Lena’s body and cups the back ofher head in the other. “Not yet.”

She kicks off and they soar once again,spinning once, twice in the air as Kara nudges her nose against Lena’s andlaughs, short, exuberant, and captures her lip in a kiss.

Their previous kisses had been characterizedprimarily by either control or disorientation. This—this is nothing like that. Light,and honest, and focused; this kiss is pure exploration. Lena gives into it,like a solution blending with another, molecules fitting into each other’sspaces, unpredictably increasing density.

Kara draws back and laughs again, a warm explosionthat can’t be contained. “Did I get that right?” she asks.

Lena can do nothing but nod.

How Kara can misunderstand her so completelyfor months and then read her mind in an instant is beyond her. But she lovesher. And finally, she can show her.

So she does.