#lucky again coded
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⋆。 𖦹 ꕤ lt3 summer album - 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥 ༄. ☀︎
𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘭𝘦 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𖤓. ୭˚. ᵎᵎ
#louis tomlinson#28#tommo#lt3 moodboard#louistomlinsonedit#lt3 is coming#louis tomlinson moodboard#louiscoded#lucky again coded#sunny#sprinkleofchaos#hlcreators#orange moodboard#aesthetic#rockstar boyfriend
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rook and solas...narrative foils? rook? a narrative foil? to SOLAS? rook? to solas? ROOK? ROOK????
#IN FRONT OF MY ''I WOULD TREASURE THE CHANCE TO BE WRONG ONCE AGAIN MY FRIEND'' ?????????#da4 critical#datv critical#veilguard critical#rook has 0 QUALITIES THAT MAKE THEM A SUITABLE FOIL FOR LITERALLY ANYONE#rook has made NO mistakes ever. rook is good guy coded. treviso/minrathous is a nonstarter. a pointless shock value decision#rook experiences no real meaningful remorse over ANY bad thing theyve done because THEYVE NEVER DONE BAD THINGS#theyre good guy mcgee! happy go lucky hero! oopsie i disrupted the big bad's ritual teehee but actually it was ALL SOLAS' FAULT#rook is the most worthless piece of crap protagonist in history. they shouldnt even be allowed in the same room as solas#you want a nobody to somebody narrative foil? how about the person with a preexisting relationship with solas#whether the inquisitor romanced him hated him or was his best friend solas & the inquisitor are quite literally opposites#but better yet! the inquisitor actually feels like a real person! because rook is just biowares mary sue!#because this team had none of the gumption or drive of the old team & so of course they couldnt pull a game out of their butt in a crunch
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day 169
this is it, the dynamic
#day 169#year 5#aradia megido#kanaya maryam#homestuck#arakan#based largely on their first pesterlog#kanaya is so. FUCKING condescending to her and its funny#actually edit: i added the link to the page just read it#kanaya being a lil shit is my favorite for her actually#and aradia being like 0h n0t this shit again#like its just so!!!!!!#funny but also like KIND OF GENUINELY MEAN FOR NO REASON fjdhjdhd#its LITERALLY just kanaya dropping into aradias dms to be like#Hey Bestie Just A Reminder That You Should Feel A Little Bit Guilty About Everything That Happens From Here On Out#Even Though It Is Basically Inevitable#Lucky For You Though I Am Going To Be Very Gracious And Clean Up After Whatever Dumb Shit You Are About To Pull With This Game#like GIRL WHAT IS UR DAMAGE FKDHSKHDGD im obsessed#i mean obviously she has some fucked up feelings internally about participating in a game that ends the world#i wonder if she feels guilty herself for letting aradia and sollux pull half the code from her set of frog ruins#like. maybe shes so guilt trippy about it because she wants to convince herself that all the blame can be put on aradia#and that if she voices her disapproval OF aradias actions then shes like. on record as being Right About The Situation#but ALSO if she is sooo magnanimous and forgiving about it then maybe nobody has to be punished for all of it (not even herself)#idk IDK. i just think its fascinating as a kanaya character moment especially as one of her earliest conversations
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Moze x Jiaoqiu
word count: 900~
description: just mozqiu being domestic (pre-2.5 events)

moze is the type of husband who always cleans, keeps everything neat, he will run (quite literally) anywhere and do any errand without complaint, nothing is too hard or difficult for him. he is v protective, „I promise I will bring him back“, nothing is stopping him from getting his husband back, he is confident in his abilities, to the point he isn't even worrying. he always attentively listens to jiaoqiu’s ramblings, his full attention on the foxian. he will eat anything jiaoqiu puts before him, no matter his preferences. uttering simple praises after the meal and never letting his husband clean up.
at night he cuddles with him, being the big spoon, holding his husband close, face buried in the orangey pink hair. like a touch starved kitten, he gravitates to him during the day, always hugging him- backhugs are his favorite. jiaoqiu always smiles, a sparkle in his eyes with each embrace. moze is often quiet, very thoughtful- usually ending up blunt in his words but not cold, never cold. the care and love for each other shown in the soft words, gentle embraces and lingering gazes. moze doesn’t do causal touches, his hands don’t wander to jiaoqiu’s soft tail, or even softer ears, or to caress him. he doesn’t want to overwhelm his husband or make him uncomfortable. yet when they stand close he bumps his nose against his. and when he is so so tired he rests his forehead on the shorter man’s. recharging, seeking comfort, love. luckily for him, his husband knows his main love language is physical touch. jiaoqiu bringing his hands to cup his cheeks, thumbs caressing the rough skin. he misses the smile that brightens the foxian’s face, his eyes shut relishing in the sensations. such a sensitive and responsive man. jiaoqiu is the only person moze allows to touch him, to drag those soft fingers across his scars, through the silver hair, to see him shirtless. he is the only one with whom he makes and keeps eye contact. moze is the type of husband that even without being close jiaoqiu can feel his touch on him. sitting across him, over a hotpot. lilac eyes on him. full of love. as if he is caressing his husband’s cheek at that moment. making jiaoqiu’s chest feel warm from the feeling of such a silent expression of admiration.
on the days jiaoqiu voices that he feels tired a quick response is given in turn “I can carry you.” a blunt, straightforward, and the same offer every time. he is more than happy to carry him + he enjoys showing off for his hubby. not caring for the public opinion or any observers; it doesn’t even cross his mind, jiaoqiu’s happiness the only thing on his mind. sadly, he is always rejected (occasionally making him pout). moze doesn’t even know why (painfully obvious why, the rare blushed jiaoqiu further confirming it). shadows are his safe haven, but jiaoqiu is his peace. they fill each other's needs, like puzzles fitting together, completely domestic in their behaviors; perfect for general feixiao’s safety and well-being. despite working together they don’t get tired of each other. work is work and their house is home.
coriander is not allowed under this roof and no big lights are ever on. when they have guests, jiaoqiu compensates with many small lamps, fairy lights, and a bunch of candles. unscented ones. otherwise, they would clash with the meal. sometimes, jiaoqiu will light a scented candle, but it won’t be lit for longer than an hour, otherwise, he would get overwhelmed due to how sensitive his nose is to smells. moze being the clean freak, and insistent on maintaining really good hygiene and not strong perfumes so he can do his job perfectly would just make jiaoqiu purr if he could. type of husband truly only for him. jiaoqiu is quite a social butterfly and he drags his husband with him, who will grumble a bit and then go along, and behave politely to the best of his capabilities. moze cannot read a room to save his life, short in his sentences and straight to the point despite pondering his words prior, they end up always coming off blunt. he means no harm and what he says is usually of little matter, and none of it holds any weight to him when all he needs is to hear his darling chuckle or gaze at him and all is well in his world. the only result he could possibly ever wish for.
and when they kiss? the lighting and shadow with fire and spice? the I talk a lot, flirtatious, rarely flustered with I listen to you with heart eyes, mainly unaffected but you make me smile. well… they keep it private. such actions feel too personal and intimate for them to be shown in public and given for anyone to see on display. they hold it too close to their hearts, it matters in a different way to them. something near and dear. they won’t be caught showing pda, not even holding hands- well they rarely hold hands either way. it is behind closed doors and in the privacy of their home that their lips meet, and hands wander, leaving soft touches in intimate places that they’d never do in public (unlike many others). it means too much to them.
#UGH THEM#BITES THEM#idk what this is i just had to write it down after watching the 2.5 livestream#moze is so autistic coded i cannot explain it but he is#the gays!!#moze x jiaoqiu#BEN BALMACEDA TRY TO VOICE A HOYO CHARACTER NOT IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGE FAILED#gg honestly that man has range i was so surprised and he did an insanely good job with moze#also finally felt comfy enough to write about moze now with the va change#ben is truly amazing#kaveh is always my pookie#IM SO LUCKY MOZE IS A 4 STAR PSPSP I GOT UR HUSBAND COME HOME MOZE#btw i do speak chinese amongst a shit ton of lang i speak and their pronounciation of moze is kinda strange. it should be a “ts”/ “c” sound#not a “z” sound#also for some reason i thought i was gonna write like 2 sentences so i started writing on tumblr and had to save it as a draft when I poste#it got fkn deleted cos tumblr fkn bugged out and i spent 2h breaking#down cos it was so fkn beautiful. and i couldnt possibly get the flow of it back or the exact version#hopefully i managed to rewrite it again in a way that it is readable#moqiu#mozilla firefox#hsr#honkai star rail#fluff#jiaoze#mozeqiu#divider cr: milklemondrop
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okay I doodled wWAYYY too many things recently to not post so... art dump of various canon and au (beware CUTIES below cut /silly [and minor blood])
PLUS SMALL ANIMATION TEST BASED ON FIRST DRAWING
#[the luckygirl's delineation!]#roblox pressure#pressure oc#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#pressure p.ai.nter#p.ai.nter pressure#p.ai.nter roblox#[CODE GREY]#i think thats how i tagged it before#if not then its#[CODE GREY.]#Or sometjing#ANYWAYS some of this is from/for “Code Swap”; the swap AU for Code grey AND I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH#Shoutout to my friend shadow for working on all of the story stuff with me and making content of their own ♥️♥️#oc x canon#yumeship#with both Sebastian and p.AI.nter BUT SEPARATELY not because Im against poly ofc im not but its just bc I think theyre brothers#anyway Seastar is the ship name for Lucky and Sebastian (credit to shadow again) and Haphazard is the ship name for Lucky and p.AI.nter....
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Ya’ll cannot convince me this isn’t true. Headcanon or not he is their son and they are his birth parents.
I finished the game days ago and he literally has so much of both of them in him its crazy.
My headcanon is that his identity was concealed to protect his identity as a Kirigiri. Because as Kyoko says, Kirigiri detectives aren’t well known by choice. Yet he had Makoto’s desire to help everyone and make them happy despite that.
So he gave up his identity as a Kirigiri to protect his family’s identity. In case he ever becomes famous as his own detective. Leaving his family to grow on his own.
I feel like this would make the most sense.
#rain code#Danganronpa#naegiri#rain code has me back in my dr craze again help#i’m still a naegiri shipper#and yuma’s existence made me remember how much they mean to me#yuma kokohead#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#lucky detective family#master detective archives: rain code#my edits
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HOW R WE FEELING ABOUT ACT 5 GUYS?!?!?!?!?!
#rhythm doctor#LITERALLY ACT 5 BROKE ME IM SO OBSESSED W THIS GAME AGAIN NOW#LUCKY IS LITERALLY THE BEST ADDITION TO THE GAME#the fact that he's ash coded 😭😭 i cannot stop being insane about introverted somewhat aggressive chrs#rhythm doctor lucky#rhythm doctor miner#rhythm doctor hailey#rhythm doctor logan#miner scales#minecraft ? who thought of that ship name bruh 💀 i aint tagging my post that thats the wrong audience#idk haileys and logans ship name....#anyways bye rd nation time to fc every song and cry about this game some more#loghail#ty to ppl for notifying me of their name 🙏🙏#mishs art tag
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Oh btw I’ve also won a private talk with billybabe on the fanmeet whatever it means
#I’ve never won anything in my life and I might be lucky if I don’t get scammed…#long story short: I had some troubles with the payment and another person bought the ticket for me and it has their name on it#which isn’t that much of an issue they’ll only look at the entrance codes but the other person also knows that I won#so I could be very lucky or I can get scammed with the already bought ticket#that’s why I think I can’t be that happy but then again I truly want to believe they’re a nice person#they’re also run a billybabe fanpage so let’s see how that turns out on the 24th#but I won first for now! 🥳#zey rants
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I love when I'm talking to someone and someone else who I don't know like that butts in to ask a really personal question that informs the conversation they are not a part of
#joked to a coworker that shes gonna get in trouble for breaking dress code and ahe asked abt my shirt#and i said i have a special exception and was gonna leave it at that and tell her abt it later when ppl werent around#and my fucking old supervisor who was literally demoted for being bad at their job goes 'whats your special exception'#first of all who was talking to you. not me#so i said i am disabled and constricting clothes cause discomfort and they said 'why don't you just buy plain shirts'#BITCH WHO ASKEDDDD. first of all they do not pay me enough for that second of all they should just comply with the fucking ada#so why are they interrupting my fucking conversation to ask about my clothes#im just too tired and frustrated and stressed for this. theyre lucky there were people around or i would've lost it probably#lol when an ex coworker decides its ok to share what you post on your personal blog with people you still work with#if any of you are looking at this post again stop. leave my blog. its incredibly inappropriate to share a private blog without permission#i don't tell anyone at work about my blog for a reason. this has been my blog/diary since i was 12 years old#i say things on here I wouldn't say irl because this is where i vent thoughts that are harsh. please respect my privacy#and stop fucking snooping on me. thanks.#and please do no not mention anything you saw here to anyone ever. including me.
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I'M SEEING TAYLOR SWIFT NEXT YEAR 😭🥹😭🥹😭🥹😭🥹😭
#I SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR#no but fr it was so stressful buying the tickets#my payment didnt went through like four times and i wrote them an email and they said they're gonna cancel my order#so i had to order the tickets again with the same code and i was so so so lucky i managed to get the same ones as before#and then i had another payment error and then i went to check my card limita#ofc all of them were pretty high amounts EXCEPT internet orders fjfhd so i quickly raised the limit and FINALLY the payment went through#this took me 3 hours and omg i'm so exhausted because i worked night shift#the eras tour warsaw
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・・- --- --・-・ ・- ・-・ --・-- --・-- / --・-- --・ ・-・・ ・・ ・・-・・ ・・-
#just you wait when i have the time i'm gonna completely decode the inner spread#while i listen to this again#and again#and again~#the way they incorporated morse code into 'SE' from the 絶体絶命 tour (i.e. yesterday's premiere) was SO COOL#as was the opening to 学芸会#the footsteps in G行為#the instrumental solos during π !!!#ohhhhh i could keep going 😤#this album & live both carry a certain heaviness & intensity distinct from their other work/performances#really goes straight to the root of your emotions & tugs with full force#before my very first listen through of the album i'd heard a lot of these songs as stand alones#but i can vividly remember where i was & what i was doing for each one#狭心症 had maybe the strongest impact#i remember sitting in my living room - fresh out of the hospital & feeling so lost & disjointed#but then i heard that song#and stopped in my tracks like what. is this.#it was one of those moments where time stands still & there's an invisible current connecting you to the greater web of existence#and everyone & everything in it#in all of its beauty but also all of its pain#i can't listen to that song without kinda reliving that moment#but i don't think i'd want it any other way#perhaps i'll get into it more another day but yeah as an album 絶体絶命 makes me feel so so much#i feel beyond lucky to have seen that live tour footage & to have this on vinyl 🥺#also! exciting news abounds!! not only is 舟を編む airing once more but yojiro is starring in a new drama!!!!!! 😈🤯#all of those teasing remarks about shooting something? oh it's all coming together#9/14 let's goooo!!!
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here’s a random best friend!eren drabble bc im bored
cw include: black coded reader, some drug usage (weed), unprotected sex, backshots, sex standing up, sex onna floorrr, lots of dirty talk, multiple orgasms, squirting, creampie, some choking [ inspo vids: 1 2 3 ]
“you sure about this y/n? i don’t want things to get weird . . .” eren mumbled, his hands fidgeting with the loops on his jeans—something he always did when he was nervous. you just giggled, your mind too cloudy and in a horny daze to care that your about to fuck your childhood best friend.
you were sitting at the edge of your bed with eren standing right in front of you, his large frame towering over yours. his breath hitched when you grabbed onto the hem on his jeans, your chin now resting on his lower stomach. you looked at him through your freshly done lashes, your eyes low n’ red from the blunt you previously smoked together.
“i jus’ wanna see what’s got those girls all crazy about you ren,” you practically purred, smirking when you saw his teeth clamp onto his bottom lip. you could feel the firm bulge in his jeans, your manicured nails trailing up and down the length of it.
“oooo s-shit, f-fuck okay yeah get on all fours.”
sometime later….
“o-oh my goddd, f-fuck erennnn!” your arms flailed behind you to push as eren’s stomach, but him being the dickhead he is, just grabbed your wrists and held you still. he had you bent over the bed, your feet pushing up to your tippy toes to keep up with his brutal thrusts.
“no no don’t run mama—fuck, jus’ take it. cmon fuck me back, fuck renny back,” you pitifully shook your head, salty tears seeping into your comforter.
in all the years you’ve known eren you weren’t aware of the fact that he had such a dirty mouth. filthy praises and promises were flying past his kiss swollen lips left and right, so much so it was making you even more dizzy than you already were.
“who knew my best friend had such a pretty lil’ pussy,” eren breathlessly chuckled, his tongue swiping against his bottom lip as he admired the milky white ring of your essence coating the base of his cock. “n-no eren, too fuckin’ deep s-shit!” you cried, legs trembling as eren pushed all of his weight into your backside. he swiveled his hips, determined to reach that special spot deep inside you.
“heh, now y’see why those girls w-won’t leave me alone, dick is too fuckin’ good ain’t it mama,” eren groaned, smacking your ass harshly. eren wasn’t the best at a lot of things, not that he even really tried to be, but one thing he knew he was good at was beating up some lucky girls guts. sure he wasn’t slanging nine inches, but don’t get it twisted he knew how to use his six and a half inches very, very well. after all it’s not about the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean or whatever the fuck.
he pulled you up by the neck, keeping you still against his chest. your legs trembled, your hands pushing back softly against eren’s thighs to steady yourself. “this is my favorite way to fuck, it’s so fun watching girls try to run just for me to fuck them to the floor,” he finished off his sentence by licking the shell of your ear, grinning when he felt your body shiver.
“you’re—hah! you’re s-sick ren.”
“shittt say that again baby,” eren groaned, sliding halfway out before slamming back inside. his free hand found purchase on your breast, the other hand squeezing lightly at your neck. “you’re *thrust* so fucking *thrust* s-sick eren!” you gasped out, your hands flinging behind you to tug at eren’s disheveled bun.
all a sudden black dots clouded your vision and your ears began to ring—well this was definitely new. “fuck, you squirtin’ mama?” eren was quick to wrap his arm around your waist, his other hand still securely wrapped around your throat. he fucked you through your orgasm, hearts forming at how soaked his thighs were now. he’s never had a squirter before, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to leave this life after you two were done!
“i *hiccup* didn’t even k-know i could do that,” you whimpered, your eyes rolling back when eren started up a steady rhythm. your pussy felt so sensitive, yet each time he pulled out you wanted him back inside that instant. your legs felt like jello and you knew any moment they were bound to give up.
you took a shaky step towards your bed but eren just followed, his lips upturning into a smirk. now comes his favorite part.
“r-ren okay! okay i get ittt,” you sobbed out, gasping as your knees met the plushness of your carpet. eren remained inside you the entire time, wasting no time as he pushed your face into the carpet until your back with positioned into the perfect arch. as crazy as it sounded each slap of his balls against your clit felt like electricity shooting through your veins, causing nothing but moans and babbles to slip past your drooling lips.
“fuck m’gonna cum mama, get ready,” with four final thrusts eren emptied himself inside you, coating your walls in his sticky warmth. your body slumped more into the carpet, your eyes fluttering shut. eren pulled out slowly, laughing when your lower half fell with a dull thud.
“i *sniffle* see your point,” you whimpered, your back arching when your clit rubbed against the carpet. eren grinned, sitting back on his knees before gently turning your body over. he tapped your thigh softly, “push it out . . . please.”
you rolled your eyes, not looking forward the even bigger mess it would make, but you did as you were told. eren let out a long breath through his nose as he watch he cum drip out of you in thick globs. he peered at you through his lashes—
“we should, um, do this again sometime.”
#eren smut#eren yeager smut#eren jaeger smut#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#eren x black reader#eren yeager x black reader#eren jaeger x black reader#aot smut#attack on titan smut#aot x black reader#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan x black reader
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time flies...
when captain jenna assigns you to infiltrate an intel hub disguised as a jazz club in the N109 zone, you make one simple request to the universe: don’t let me run into my ex. that prayer goes unanswered. but others? you might just get lucky.
pairing: exbf!sylus x female reader warnings: MDNI, explicit sexual content, porn w plot, porn w feelings, exes w unresolved tension, possessive behavior / mild jealousy, loooots of banter, thigh rubbing build up, dirty talk, like filthy, bratty!mc, sylus wants you so bad, walk him like a dog sis, oral (m & f), eating from the back, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, mating press, cumming inside a/n: wrote this with one hand!!!!! i need this man so bad!!!!!!!! wc: 5.9k

"....located in the N109 zone. any questions?"
and then she shot you. captain jenna—your fierce and until approximately five seconds ago, loyally trusted commander—had just fired her pistol at you within point-blank range.
you swallowed the bullet lodged in your throat before responding, reaching deep within yourself to appear as neutral as possible.
"no, captain!"
damn it all. of course your previous experience in the N109 zone would put you at the top of the list for this mission. unknown to your captain though, you'd rather chew on knives than risk a chance encounter with your ex boyfriend.
but since the intel she's assigned you to look into involves a new strain of protocore tech that mimics wanderer signatures, making it nearly undetectable and dangerous for all factions, it was high priority. and unfortunately for you, the same thought was likely running through his mind.
it'd been months since your messy breakup, months since you've spoken to each other. he wouldn't dare try anything again, especially in a compromised place like a covert jazz club.
when it came to sylus, however, you knew better.
you run through the briefing details once more in your head. this intel hub operates like most others in the N109 zone: secretive and precise. a surefire way to get yourself killed in places like these is by looking confused or unsure.
your orders are to tell the bouncer you're searching for a man wearing green inside, the color being code for the information category. according to association intel, green signifies everything related to protocores. once inside, you're to head to the bar and order an emerald isle, the contents being a gin and mint martini. the mint serving as a tip-off that you're looking for fresh, new information.
from there, you're basically on your own. the guise of a jazz club is intentional, patrons are to fraternize with their drinks visible in hand, searching for people with similar colored ones. once you find someone, you relay what drink you ordered, and if they have information on such a topic, they'll take a sip from your drink.
the catch? no refills allowed. if the person has irrelevant information, you've wasted part of your opportunity.
you saunter up to the entrance of the club, your black maxi dress shaping your body perfectly and almost causing you to disappear into the low lighting, exactly as planned. if the situation were to get threatening, your dress wouldn't be a risk.
however, this mission required you to look enticing while eyes were on you. the low, fishtail back and thin straps were sure to prompt onlookers to approach you and chat. you'd keep them in line, if not with words then with your loaded gun strapped firmly to your thigh.
you smile sweetly at the bouncer, saying everything required and getting inside without breaking a sweat. the club is busy, but not overwhelmingly so. you do a full room scan and mentally note that there are around 8 people with green drinks in hand—all at different levels of fullness. after you order the emerald isle, you make your way to the floor.
time to hunt.
the moment you walked in, sylus choked on his drink.
of course you'd be the one sent here. of course the same woman who hadn’t so much as looked at him in months would stroll back into his life with a drink coded for protocore intel.
the very thing that blew everything apart.
you hadn’t changed a bit. still walked like you owned the room. still wore danger like perfume. and those straps clinging to your body? a challenge written in silk. that dress wasn’t for him, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but wonder if some part of you knew he’d be here. if some part of you wanted him to look.
hell, he was looking. couldn’t stop, actually.
he leaned back in his seat on the second-floor balcony, his eyes locked on your every move through the dim haze and low lights. moments ago, he’d been halfway through a trade with the scrawny male seated across from him. but now, the man might as well be invisible. sylus couldn’t care less about anything that didn’t involve looking at you.
he watched you flash that fake, pretty smile—the one you wore while you were on missions. no one else would know the difference. but he did.
when he saw the color of your drink, he almost laughed. no doubt you were here for information surrounding the new wanderer mimicking tech. the irony twisted like a blade between his ribs.
you hated him for hiding his connections to protocore manufacturing. said it was betrayal. said you couldn't trust someone who kept secrets like that. but you never saw the full picture. he was protecting you from yourself.
you didn’t understand, maybe you still don't, but he hadn’t been lying to hurt you. he knew what getting you involved would cost. he knew you, and the second you found out the truth about what exactly onychinus was sponsoring, it'd drag you into the depths of the mystery surrounding your aether core. he knew you wouldn't be able to stop pursuing it all, no matter what it did to you.
and now, here you were. wading waist-deep into the same fire he lost you to.
sylus clenched his jaw, his fingers tightening around his glass. he should look away. should let you do what you came here to do.
but then some lowlife in a tacky rust-colored suit slithered up to you, requesting a dance. he was too close. acted too familiar. sylus watched your smile shift into something tight and forced. the kind you used when you were baiting someone.
no.
he wasn’t going to just sit back. not when you were back in his orbit, whether you meant to be or not. and not when he still wanted you just as badly as the day you walked away.
this had to be some sort of punishment. you must’ve pissed off the universe in a past life to end up pressed against a man wearing the ugliest rust-colored suit known to mankind. he smelled like sweat masked with cheap cologne. every inch of him screamed sleaze. yet, here you were, letting him touch you. because, of course, the filthiest bastard in the room had the most valuable intel so far. and with your drink nearly empty, you couldn’t afford to cut the dance short.
his grimy left hand rested on your waist—drifting lower with each passing second—while his other clung to his green drink like he planned to propose to it before the night was over.
"...only sold to the 1%, then trickling downwards to whoever can afford those prices. say darling, you oughta come home with me tonight. there's a lot more i can tell ya, you know, in private." his voice dripped like oil, and as he leaned in to whisper the last part, his fingers slid beneath the open hem of your back.
you resisted the overwhelming urge to pull out your pistol and really show him something private.
instead, you forced a breath and put on a tight smile. a smile that was nowhere near reaching your eyes, barely a curl on your lips. then you steered him back to the reason you were even still breathing the same air. “who are they buying from? is there no logo? no trace of manufacturing?”
“not a thing,” he said, grinning like he thought he was clever. “but I did hear some old abandoned buildings around the N109 zone have been lighting up lately. enough space to test high risk tech in those.”
you could barely hold back your eye roll. the way he spoke, like you owed him something just for opening his mouth, grated on every nerve in your body. and he looked at you like he planned to collect on that imagined debt in full.
“where’s the closest one?” your tone had a sharp edge now. his fingers kept wandering, and your patience was running thin. you needed this conversation over. and this man dead.
"hmm? not far from here. i'd say about—”
he didn’t get to finish.
a tall figure stepped between you and the creep, sliding a hand onto your waist in place of the one you'd been seconds from snapping in half. you didn’t need to look. didn’t need to double check.
you could recognize sylus by touch alone.
“mind if I cut in?” he said smoothly, his voice low and razor-sharp. “this man appears to be more thirsty than classy.”
you sighed. worst timing possible.
"no, thank you. that’s the idea,” you replied coolly, but it didn’t matter.
sylus had already made his move. the shorter man stumbled back, face ghost-white, mumbling something that sounded like an apology—or maybe a prayer—before scurrying off as if sylus had just rearranged his face with a look alone.
then, he turned to you.
he didn’t speak at first, only stared. like he couldn’t breathe, like he couldn’t believe you were real. his gaze swept over you, slow and starving, as if he were trying to memorize every inch before you vanished again. not a trace of a smirk, just a man who’d been sucker punched by the sight of you.
but eventually, sylus flipped the mental switch. he stepped closer, hand outstretched, voice as smooth as sin, "this place was dangerous before you walked in. now, it doesn’t stand a chance.”
you stared at him, unblinking, letting the silence hang just long enough to make your point. the theatrics didn’t impress you, but the corner of your mouth twitched anyway, a reflex you hated. with another sigh you stepped forward, your hand sliding into his like muscle memory.
before you could get a word in, sylus reached for the drink still in your hand. his fingers brushed yours, unhurried and deliberate, as he took it from you without asking to silently relieve the burden.
his other hand found your waist and you let yours rest on his shoulders, the familiar feel of him under your fingertips sending a shiver through you.
it was dangerous how easy it was. how quickly your steps matched the rhythm. how naturally your body leaned into his, like the time apart had never happened. the jazz music swelled around you and you both moved with it like something practiced in another life.
then his mouth was near your ear, voice dipping low as the air between you tightened. “careful. you dance like someone who remembers exactly how I feel.”
“i dance like someone who can’t wait for this song to end," you shot back, your tone sharp enough to cut.
"no," he said, like he knew something you didn't. "you dance like someone pretending the space between us isn't pulling you in.”
a tense beat passed.
"poetic. a bit too drab for my taste, unfortunately."
“you used to like the way I spoke when it was your name in my mouth.” his voice danced down your spine like a dirty promise, hot enough to make your stomach twist.
you hated it. hated that he still had this hold on you. that months later, you still reacted.
you bit back, voice steady and full of edge. “and you used to listen when I said no.”
“you never said no when it was just the two of us.”
his tone was so unbothered, so undeniably sylus. you hated how your chest ached at that. you'd buried that version of you with him a long time ago. or at least you thought you had.
you glared at him, trying to telepathically communicate how badly you wanted him to burn.
the song then faded into a slower, darker tune. like even the music knew how deadly this was becoming.
you stepped back, but only a hair. not enough to give him the satisfaction. just enough to remind yourself you still could.
his gaze followed the retreat like it hurt him to let you go. “how did you find out about this hub? did you come alone?”
you didn’t answer. instead, you turned from him. a clean, intentional break. you were done letting him circle you like he still had the right.
but his fingers caught your wrist before you could fully disappear from him again, placing your hand back on his shoulder.
“an emerald isle,” he murmured. “what intel are you here for?”
you looked him dead in the eyes, annoyance painting your features. “sooo many questions. do you always get this chatty when you're trying not to look desperate?"
god, he missed you. missed when you got like this with him. he loved nothing more than when you challenged him, rough and biting.
“just concerned, sweetie. especially if what you know brought you here…" his smile curled as he spoke. "…looking like this.”
“that's too bad. you don’t get to play protective anymore. that role expired." your voice came out flat and cold, like you had rehearsed the indifference.
“mmm. but it seems your feelings for me haven’t, kitten.”
“funny. i don’t remember ever admitting I had them.”
“no? then why are your thighs tensing like they remember everything?”
your breath hitched. not loud, but enough to make you furious with yourself. heat flushed up your throat, mortification and memory colliding in the worst possible way. you hated that he noticed. hated more that he was right. that your body reacted before your mind could catch up.
you didn’t let the silence stretch. couldn’t let it stretch.
"you're in my way."
sylus tilted his head, the smirk on his lips making your blood boil. “and you’re in my thoughts. every day. every night. doesn’t feel fair, does it?”
“what’s not fair is how your ego somehow survived our breakup.” you spoke through gritted teeth, still recovering from his last blow.
“you don’t have to say it," he was grinning now—the bastard. "i can feel it.”
“what, your neediness?” you practically spit back, the tension between you thick enough to choke on.
“yours, actually. you’re shaking, kitten."
“it’s rage.”
“mmm. is that what we’re calling want these days?”
before you could fire off something scathing, sylus wrapped his fingers around your wrist again and this time he pulls. not hard, just enough to close the last of the distance. chest brushing chest, breath mingling in the small space in between your lips.
“you think I don’t know that look in your eyes? that tilt in your hips when you dance near me? you want distance, yet your body keeps inching closer," his voice was low, fever laced into every syllable. "what am I to believe?”
“i'm working, sylus. this—” you gestured between your bodies, the closeness, the feelings, all of it. “—can’t happen again."
his smirk fades, but not into hurt. into hunger. “then tell me to stop.”
you don't.
his fingers trace the underside of your jaw, measured and daring.
“say it." he murmurs. "say stop.”
but you don't. you can’t. your lips part, but not for protest. then—
“is there a problem here?” a voice cuts through from behind, snapping the spell. a man steps between you and sylus, eyes flickering between your faces. “doesn’t look like you want to be with him, sweetheart. just say the word.”
“step back,” sylus says before you can even breathe, his tone icy. possessive. “you’re in her space. that’s the problem.”
the man falters, visibly unsettled by the sharp gleam of red in sylus’ eye. “i’m sure she’d prefer someone who doesn’t drag her around the dance floor.”
sylus smirks at him, deadly calm. “she’s exactly where she wants to be.”
it seems the man recognizes onychinus' leader, because that’s all it takes. the man backs off without another word.
you let the silence settle, pulse still fluttering from both the interruption and everything before it.
“jealousy doesn’t suit you,” you tease, turning your head just enough to draw his eyes back to your mouth.
“neither does watching you pretend you don’t miss me,” he shoots back, matching your quip as he always excelled at doing.
“i don’t.”
he smirks. “liar.”
your voice sharpens. “we’re broken up, sylus. don’t you recall?”
his gaze doesn’t waver. “i remember everything. your laugh. your skin. the way you used to—”
“don’t,” you cut in, voice like a blade. “you don’t get to say those things anymore.”
he leans in anyway, close enough that you can taste the desire radiating off him.
“then stop looking at me like that.”
“like what?” you hiss.
his mouth curved with mischief and warning. “like you want me to follow you upstairs.”
you blinked, heart slamming so hard it hurt. and for one breath, you let yourself feel it, all the pain he left behind.
then you swallowed it whole, and drowned in him.
as you both slipped out of sight from the crowded dance floor, sylus tugged you closer, kissing you like he’d been starved. your bodies stumbled up the stairs, hands tangled and desperate, a hunger between you that neither could deny. he pressed you against the wall at the top of the stairs, his lips trailing down your neck, each kiss an act of claiming. you felt his eagerness press against you and your head swirled deliciously.
“i can feel how badly you want me,” you taunt, chest rising as you fight for composure. “want me so bad you’d drop to your knees if I told you to, wouldn’t you?”
"you could make me beg for you. and more." he pressed into you, harder now. his body solid against yours as the air became thick with want. “but we both know you want to be the one on your knees."
you pull off him with a smirk of your own, opening the closest door and leading him inside. “you think you’re the only one who knows how to play this game?”
once you both stepped into the room, you shove sylus back onto the bed. his handsome face tipped up at you from where he landed, eyes cocky and smug despite being beneath you.
"i’m the one who taught you how to play, sweetie.”
you lock the door behind you with a click, leaving him on the bed to watch every calculated move you made.
you turn to face him. your steps unhurried, hips swaying like a predator with a plan. his gaze devours you as you reach the center of the room and spin your back to him.
the low hem of your dress dips scandalously, held up only by two delicate straps. you slide one down, then the other. the fabric sinks down your body, every inch a show for the man breathing heavier by the second.
the fabric hits the floor and you step out of it and cross the room. sylus sits on the edge of the bed, legs spread like he's trying not to burst at the sight of you.
you drop to your knees before him, fingers ghosting up his thighs.
you undo his belt like it’s second nature, because it is, but this time there's no soft glances or whispered promises. only tension, sweat, and the sharp edge of something darker.
you shift him out of his underwear and he's already leaking, throbbing for you. you pull him out slow, eyes locked on his like a dare. despite taking him plenty of times before, his huge length still intimidated you. and made your mouth water.
then, with his hard cock still in your hands, you tilt your head back and loll your tongue out with a dirty smile.
“fuck,” he breathes, before leaning forward and spitting directly into your open mouth.
you swirl it around with your tongue, exaggerated and filthy, before letting it drip from your lips straight onto the tip of his cock. you stroke him with it, twisting your wrist just right, watching him twitch and strain in your grasp as you spread the mess down him.
sylus manages a breathless smirk. “has our time apart made you dirtier?” his voice is wrecked. “or have you missed me this much?”
you drag your tongue up his length, lingering on his sensitive vein, then pull back with a wet pop. the action drives him wild, and he has to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning.
your eyes gleam with something wicked. “you’re so much more attractive when you’re moaning for me instead of talking.”
your lips part again, this time to take him in painfully slow. you twirl your tongue around his tip, the taste so familiar it makes your eyes roll back. the mix of fluids slick his cock all the way down to the base, your lips shiny and swollen around him.
then you sink lower and he can’t stop staring. can’t stop twitching in your mouth like he’s about to blow from just the sound of your gag. his hips jerk when the tip hits the back of your throat, and you pull off again with a sinful smirk.
“you always get so twitchy when i barely touch you,” you purr, stroking him with lazy precision. “what happened to that control you're so proud of?”
his jaw tightens at your jab, hands gripping the edge of the bed so hard his knuckles go white. while he did enjoy you challenging him, you were working his last nerve.
you lean in once more, smiling with satisfaction at his reaction. your movement light on his aching cock, suckling and teasing, never committing. your hands move unhurried, your mouth even slower, and his whole body is trembling from restraint.
sylus lets out a low, ruined growl. “keep teasing me and you'll regret it, kitten.”
“is that a threat or a promise?” you whisper, licking along the underside of his shaft. “because it sounds a lot like begging to me.”
his hands tremor like he wants to grab you, but you stay in control. for now.
you now take him with vigor, enough to make him moan, then stop. again. and again. always just a little more, never enough. he's throbbing in your grip, leaking like he could cum from this alone.
“fuck,” he mutters. “you’re gonna drive me insane.”
you pout with faux innocence. “what, this?” you give him a long, slow lick, eyes full of mockery. “close already?”
and then he snaps.
in a blur of motion, sylus grabs you by the hair, pulls you up, and throws you onto the bed, flat on your back.
you barely have time to gasp before he's on you, all passion and vengeance. he slides between your thighs, yanking your panties off like they personally committed your aggravating acts.
“you wanna tease?” he snarls, breath hot against your inner thigh. “then fucking take it.”
his mouth hovers just above your dripping cunt, teasing you now. his turn to play. he breathes against your folds, lips barely brushing, just enough to make you whimper.
“what’s wrong, sweetie?” he taunts, voice thick with revenge and lust. “thought you liked going slow.”
you reach down and twist your fingers in his hair, yanking his face into you with a growl of your own.
“eat. or i will ride your face and make you regret waiting.”
sylus keens at your words, tongue diving in like a man starved. he loved when you got rough with him, turning him on like no other.
you moan right back at the feeling of him, legs already starting to shake. there's no more teasing in his movements, he’s messy, frantic, seemingly obsessed. his mouth is somehow everywhere at once, like he’s trying to drown in your taste.
you writhe under him, losing every ounce of control you once held. and he doesn’t stop. not even when your thighs close around his head. not even when you scream his name.
there’s no finesse, just open mouthed hunger, his tongue and lips on a mission to touch every part of you. then he adds two fingers, slipping in deep and curling them just right, hitting that spot you never could on your own. you gush around them, soaking his hand, and he groans like the mess is a gift.
you clutch the sheets below you, the sensation too much and not enough. every time his nose nudges your clit, every hit of his perfectly angled fingers, your body jolts. the bed creaks below you as he pushes you closer and closer to that high you've been chasing for months. but nothing, nothing, ever touched you like this.
your orgasm starts barreling toward you and right when you're on the cusp of mind numbing pleasure—
he slows down.
right as your toes curl and your thighs tense, he pulls back. you whine, strung out and soaked.
you’re about to beg when you notice the bed is still shaking. not just from you.
sylus is grinding against the mattress. hard and desperate.
you let out a breathless, evil little laugh. “you’re humping the bed? i’m the one getting eaten alive, and you’re the one falling apart?”
you should’ve stopped there. you really should’ve.
but you smirk, lift your hips so you can meet his eyes, and whisper, “what, couldn’t wait your turn?”
his face changes at that, deep and pissed, then he grabs your hips and flips you onto all fours like you weigh nothing.
“should’ve filled your throat with cum to shut that mouth,” he hisses into your ear.
before you can reply, his hands are spreading you open and his mouth is back on you. from behind.
his tongue laps at your entrance, filthy and unrelenting, while his fingers sneak down to bully your clit in ruthless circles. your arms give out at the same time as your legs begin to buckle, but he doesn’t let you fall. one strong arm wraps around your waist whilst the other pleasures you without mercy.
you greedily grind your ass into his face and he groans at the action like he wants to live between your thighs. you clench around his tongue, fluids mixing together, and the mess just spurs you on further. spurs him on further. the building liquids slide down your legs, coating his face and all he wants is more.
you’re about to fall apart all over again when he pulls away in one fluid motion.
your body collapses onto the bed, shaking from the sudden change. you roll onto your back, dazed and desperate.
sylus wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, not even trying to be subtle, and spreads your legs wide. his eyes drink in the sight, as if your glistening pussy was some divine offering.
you pout, fingers drifting toward your clit, desperate to finish what he stole. but sylus grabs your wrist, pins it above your head, and lines himself up with you. his neglected cock dripping with precum as he slides it between your folds.
you bite your lip at how heavy and huge he is. the head alone makes your thighs tremble.
then he leans down, mouth right against your ear.
“you’re not cumming,” he murmurs, slow and cruel, “unless it’s on my cock.”
your breath stutters. it’s been months since you took him, months since your body was trained for that stretch. he was so big, it hurt. you swallow hard, pride burning at your own words.
"just… not too fast,” you say, trying to stay steady. “okay?”
he tilts his head, mocking you with that fake-soft voice. “of course, sweetie. whatever you need.”
he kissed your forehead like the lover he once was.
then slammed his full length inside you.
your mouth opens in a silent scream. he’s thick, obscene, and the sudden stretch makes your vision fade out. you claw at his biceps, nails digging in, but he doesn't care.
“you thought that bratty little attitude was gonna earn you favors?” he grits out, voice strained and dark with desire.
he pulls out almost completely, then drives back in deeper. harder.
“be good and take it.”
your mind is reeling, your body even worse. you're clenching around him like a vice, almost trying to force him to slow down. he doesn't.
in fact, he lets go of the hand pinning yours above your head and grabs your hips instead, tilting them up and fucking into you faster. he’d force you to take it. you always liked it rough.
"just needed some dick to shut you up, hmm?" he stated, each word hitting with the rhythm of his thrusts.
you almost choke. he was drilling so deep it felt like he was aiming for your throat. his hand then slid over your stomach and pressed down, and he grinned above you like the smug devil he is when he felt himself moving inside you.
"shut up—nghh—'n fuck me harder." you manage out, your tone not matching the challenge in your voice even slightly.
your body remembered him now. that stretch, that angle. you were soaking him, walls practically begging for him. his cock slipped in and out like he owned it. because he does.
sylus realizes it too, because he leans in, pushing impossibly deeper before gloating in your face. "this pussy missed me. she’s crying for it."
you try to snap something back, something sharp, anything to bite into his smugness. but it dies on your tongue the second his hips grind into yours. his cock drags deep and slow, just once, and your whole body locks up. the stretch is somehow overwhelming and perfect. like you were made for him.
your fingers scramble over his back, clinging to him for stability, but all you can manage is a strangled, “fuck, sylus—”
his rhythm falters, just for a second, but you feel it. his gaze snaps to yours, suddenly serious. his body stills then, cock twitching inside you. it seemed like he was searching for something in you that he was too scared to name.
he leans in once more, but this time not to hit deeper. to look at you, really look. his breath fanned your lips, your cheeks, your throat.
"you missed me too," he says. no question in it.
you want to lie. bite back with something petty and proud. but your pussy clenches around him like it’s answering for you, loud and shameless.
your chest heaves as you stare up at him. your throat aches from holding back all the things you swore you’d never say.
and still, you whisper it.
“yours.”
sylus goes rigid at your confession.
you feel a shudder pass through his entire body. he clenched his jaw while his hands trembled against your waist, grip tightening. then something breaks. he manhandles your thighs up and wide, body looming over yours.
“say it again.” he demands in between guttural grunts. “say you’re mine.”
you wail at the change in position, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes and pleasure twisting in your belly like a storm. “'m yours. fuck—sylus, i’m yours.”
his chest pins your thighs to your torso, folding you nearly in half. the angle makes your head dizzy, an entirely new world of bliss. you’re split open, completely at his mercy, and your cunt pulses around him like it knows it’s where it belongs.
“fucking say it while I ruin you.” his voice cracks, hips pistoning forward again and again. he’s completely unraveling, thrusts messier now, more desperate.
you chant it like a mantra. “yours, yours, yours—”
“look at you,” he grunts, sweat dripping from his jaw onto your chest. “taking me so good now. tight little pussy just needed a reminder.”
his pace is brutal and unrelenting. your thighs shake, pinned wide open, helpless to do anything but feel every inch of him. be filled by him.
his eyes don’t leave yours. there’s hunger there, but you also notice something raw too. that longing feeling you thought only you felt.
sylus dips down, lips brushing yours, and murmurs against your mouth. “you really gonna go back out there like this?”
you blink at him, dazed. “huh?”
“full of me,” he snarls, hitting deep enough to knock the breath from your lungs. “my cum soaking your thighs while you try to finish your mission. think you can keep it in?”
you moan loudly at his filthy words and he grins against your cheek.
“say you want it. say you want me to fill you up.”
you don’t even hesitate.
“yes please! sylus, want it!”
“say it right.” he commands, snapping his hips so hard the bed frame groans. “tell me who you belong to.”
“you! ’m yours—fuck—please cum inside me!”
he loses it.
his grip tightens bruisingly on your hips, dragging you down to meet every savage thrust. the drag of his cock is erratic, his body shuddering above yours.
“gonna fill you up,” he pants, “make you mine all over again—shit!—you’re gonna leak for me, kitten. gonna walk outta here with my cum dripping down your thighs and everyone knowing you let me claim you.”
the possessiveness in his voice sends you spiraling. your pussy clenches tight, fluttering around him like your body’s already begging for it. the tension in your belly coils impossibly tight. every hard, brutal thrust inside you making your vision blur.
“sylus,” you gasp, pitch high and breathless, “close, please—”
“you wanna cum on my cock?” he asked, slamming into you with the full force of his weight. “wanna milk me while I fill this cunt up?”
you nod frantically, tears spilling down your cheeks. “yes, yes! please, wanna cum with you, wanna feel you!”
sylus drops his head to your shoulder, teeth scraping your skin. "go on, then. show me how bad you want me."
and you do.
you shatter with a loud cry, your orgasm hitting like a wave that floods your senses. you clench tight around him in spasms that make your back arch off the bed and your fingers dig into his back to anchor yourself. you sob his name as your pussy pulses around him, your entire body wrung out and shaking.
“that’s it,” he moans deeply, his rhythm stuttering as your walls clamp down. “so tight—”
and he’s right there with you.
with a sharp groan, he drives himself deep to bury every inch inside. his hips jerk and his cock twitches as he spills into you, hot and thick. his voice breaks as he utters your name out like a prayer. one hand squeezes your thigh tight while the other trembles on your waist, trying to hold himself together while he fills you up.
you’re shaking, panting into his shoulder, pulling him close as his warmth spills into you. he doesn’t pull out. not yet. just stays there, breathing ragged against your skin, forehead pressed to yours.
your body trembles with aftershocks, cunt fluttering weakly around his cock, milking every drop from him like your body refuses to let him go.
“fuck,” he whispers, voice almost gentle. “you were made for me.”
you’re still dazed, your brain lagging behind the high. you can feel him dripping out of you already, warm and slick between your thighs.
he leans in, brushing a kiss to your temple, like the lover he is.
“you better squeeze those legs shut when you leave,” he murmurs, cocky smirk creeping back in. “i don’t want anyone seeing what’s mine.”
a/n(2): first time writing sylus, hope i did him justice >_< likes and reblogs r super appreciated, lmk your thoughts on this!!!
@mcdepressed290 here is your tag friend as requested. hope u enjoy!!!
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lnds sylus#lnds#lnds smut#lads sylus#lads smut#lads sylus smut#love and deepspace sylus smut#l&ds sylus#l&ds smut#sylus smut#l&ds sylus smut#sylus qin#lnd smut#sylus x mc#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lads#lads mc#lads x reader#lnds x you#lnds mc#lnds sylus smut#l&ds#l&ds x you#l&ds x reader#l&ds mc#smut
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❝DOCTOR I CAN’T TELL IF I’M NOT ME.❞

୨⎯ ┊BATFAM X NEGLECTED!HEALER!READER ꒱
✰ ৎ──────SYPNOPSIS: all you ever wanted was a purpose. something that would give meaning to your existence, your power. healing others was the only thing that ever made you feel alive, needed… until you ended up in that awful place.
✰ ৎ────── masterlist. | next.

There is only one thing you ever truly wished for in this life: a purpose.
Something that would justify your existence, that would give meaning to every breath, every wound, every sleepless night.
And you found it. Not in an empty promise or in the affection of others. You found it in your own power.
A selfish desire, yes, but undeniably yours. A purpose born not out of love, but out of need.
From that strange power growing inside you, the one that forced you to look at others’ suffering with cold, almost cynical eyes. As if every wound were a problem only you could solve. As if every scream of pain were a prayer meant solely for you.
You clung to that.
To the idea that your worth existed only in your abilities.
The ability to stop someone from dying in front of you. To rip death from their body with your own hands. To stitch broken flesh with threads that hurt, yes, but worked. That was the only thing that ever made you feel alive. The only thing that ever made you feel alive, needed.
For a while, it was enough.
For a long while, you were selfish.
It didn’t matter if they used you. It didn’t matter if it hurt. If every healing left another scar on you. If every salvation cost you a little more of the little you had left.
As long as you could keep doing it—healing, fixing, protecting— the price didn’t matter.
Because at the end of the day, you could lie down on that mattress of emptiness and tell yourself: “Today, I made it worth it.”
Your existence and your power meant something.
Of course, you didn’t have a mother to share secrets with, nor guardians who offered you love. Only faces that came and went, and the bitter understanding that you were just another burden in a broken system.
Until, by some twisted stroke of fate, you had the “pleasure” of meeting your biological father.
Bruce Wayne.
Billionaire. Philanthropist. Playboy.
Batman.
Even so, none of that really mattered to you. What truly hit you was learning that you had to leave everything behind and go to Gotham.
That cursed city, that concrete jungle drowned in darkness and crime. Where dreams go to die and bodies, if they’re lucky, go to sleep.
Gotham wasn’t a home. It was a prison for someone like you.
A place where meta-humans like you were enemies, threats, problems to be contained.
Your power, your only purpose, was stripped away with nothing more than a change of zip code.
And that was the cruelest part of all.
Not being able to use it.
Not being able to save.
Not being able to be useful.
Your existence, reduced to ashes, like the bodies of those you didn’t reach in time.
It must be poetic, right? The healer who cannot heal. The savior without faith.
They hate you. You've felt it. That visceral resentment from those who survived because of you, but still blame you for what you couldn’t stop. Screams, stares, choked pleas— all of them pierced your soul deeper than any weapon ever could.
For someone who once swore to save lives, it’s only natural that those you vowed and wanted to save now express their utter disgust and despair toward the false, horrific salvation you once offered them.
And now? Now you live among strangers.
An immense mansion full of absences. With brothers who seemingly don’t recognize you, and a father who doesn’t see you.
Your arrival in Gotham wasn’t exactly ideal, at least, that’s how you think you remember it.
It’s hard for you to remember that moment. You don’t hold on to unnecessary memories… none of it will make you feel alive again.
Apparently, your new father figure has several children. Some of them are already adults. With lives of their own far from the mansion, you don’t know much about them, they were almost always too busy to say anything to you.
You can’t understand them, can’t they come up with better excuses? You don’t want these people’s attention.
These people can’t help you with your abilities. They can’t make you believe you’re still allowed to use them freely.
No, these people are just strangers who stumbled into your life overnight and want nothing to do with the problem. Not even your new father had the decency or responsibility to try forming a bond with you.
Bruce Wayne was an absent father. Not in the way someone leaves and disappears completely, but in the kind of absence that feels stronger the closer the person is. A hollow physical presence, like a ghost made of flesh and bone. One who could look you in the eyes and still not see you.
He struggled to communicate, to make time for you, to even remember that there was now one more occupied room in that massive mansion of his.
He doesn’t know how to deal with you, and you don’t know how to deal with him either. At first, you wondered if the problem was you. If you had done something wrong. If the way you talked, walked—even breathed, was so bothersome that he’d rather bury himself in work than give you an hour of his time.
But soon, you realized something even crueler: You don’t need a father. You’re not looking for one. You’re not waiting for one.
What you need is a patient. Someone you can heal. Someone who needs you.
Because that’s what you’ve always done. Heal. And Bruce… Bruce simply refuses to be healed.
But he doesn’t understand.
When you approach him, when you seek him out, when you try to speak to him, all he does is throw up a wall made of cold words, as practical and impersonal as that damn business suit of his.
“I’m busy.”
“Not now.”
“We’ll talk later.”
“It’s for work.”
Always the same. Always excuses with the bitter taste of indifference.
Is this what having a father is supposed to feel like? Because if it is, then it doesn’t feel any different from your days in foster care.
At least there, you knew you were alone. Here, they make you believe you’re not… but you are, more than ever.
You’ve learned to observe the details, as always. It’s one of the few things you’re good at, aside from using your power.
You notice the tired look in his eyes, the dark circles underneath, the way his fingers tense around his pen like he’s trying to crush it. The stack of papers on his desk never gets smaller, it’s like it multiplies just to keep you at a distance.
And the subtle changes… that lower tone in his voice when he sees you, like he can’t even be bothered to raise it for you. The way his eyebrows furrow, not out of anger, just… annoyance. Irritation.
That’s what hurt the most.
So you stopped trying. Because if you kept going, you were only going to be reprimanded by the one you were supposed to please. You convinced yourself that you don’t need his approval. That you don’t need his love. That you’re better off without him.
But then, why is it that every time you walk past his office, you pause for a second, hoping that door opens, just once, without you knocking first?
Why do you still need him to see you?
Richard Grayson is the eldest. The first adopted son of Bruce Wayne. Everyone sees him as a beacon of hope, the moral compass of this family made of shadows and scars. And it makes sense. He has that bright smile, that genuine warmth the others can barely fake. He gives out hugs without being asked, listens patiently, laughs easily, and has that absurd gift of making anyone feel seen, at least, if you’re one of his.
Because with you, it was always different.
From the beginning, Richard seemed kind. Seemed. But between that warmth and you, there was always a distance, like someone had drawn a curtain between the two of you. You heard his apologies more than you heard his actual voice.
“Sorry, I have to head out right now.”
“Sorry, I was already on my way to Blüdhaven.”
“Next time, I promise.”
He was always rushing. Always busy. Always somewhere else. And you… you’re not someone who believes in empty promises.
At first, you thought it was just bad luck. That maybe if you insisted a little, if you found an excuse, if you caught him in the kitchen, he might stay for five minutes. Just five. But those minutes never came. And you started to notice a pattern. How his demeanor shifted the moment you walked into the room. How his smile became more diplomatic. More rehearsed. How his footsteps sped up when he thought you weren’t watching.
You didn’t want to admit it at first, but something inside you began to whisper an uncomfortable truth; He was avoiding you.
And then you understood. If Richard Grayson, the kindest, the most human, the most "big brother" of them all, couldn’t be around you, then what was the point of trying with the others? What could you possibly expect from Jason, who barely speaks to you? From Tim, who seems more invested in his computer than in actual people? From Damian, who can barely tolerate his own shadow?
So you did the same.
You avoided them. One by one.
You decided it wasn’t worth it. That if you weren’t going to be a real part of this family, you weren’t going to pretend.
It’s easier that way. It doesn’t hurt as much if you’re the one walking away first.
But sometimes, when you see them laughing together from the staircase, or hear Richard speaking so fondly of the others, a part of you wonders if it was ever really your choice to walk away, or if they’d been leaving you behind from the very beginning.
Your suspicions didn’t take long to confirm. All it took was talking to a few of your supposed brothers to realize the pattern repeated itself.
Jason, Tim, Damian…
Each one was a story unto themselves. Each one was a maze of traumas, masks, and poorly calibrated emotional responses. But if you had to describe them in one word, it would be: inaccessible.
The second of your brothers was Jason, and from what little you could gather, because no one seemed eager to talk about it much, Jason had died. And then he came back. It wasn’t a metaphor. It wasn’t an exaggeration. He had been buried, and now he was not. That simple statement was enough to provoke a morbid curiosity, almost scientific. What had changed in his body? Did he suffer from partial necrosis? Brain damage? Did his muscles regenerate? What residual effects did resurrection have on human physiology? Everything in you screamed to investigate. To dissect. To understand.
It was a dangerous thought. You knew that. You repeated it to yourself like a mantra: too tempting for your own good.
But what confused you the most wasn’t his condition, it was his behavior toward you. Jason had this aura of latent violence, like dynamite that could explode with the wrong spark. But that wasn’t what kept you away. Not entirely. It was his inexplicable rejection.
You didn’t understand it. You didn’t provoke him. You didn’t talk to him, you didn’t interfere, you didn’t cross the line. And yet, his gaze was always sharp. As if your mere presence triggered something in him. Irritation. Annoyance. Maybe even disdain.
You wondered if it was your fault. If the way you were, the way you spoke, the way you were, simply bothered him. But you couldn’t find an answer. And though you wanted to, you knew that getting closer would be too risky.
Because you’ve seen the broken walls. The misaligned doors. The tables split in two like they were made of paper. You’ve felt the tension in the air when Jason enters a room and isn’t in the mood. And you know, without needing confirmation, that his punches aren’t soft. That his rage doesn’t distinguish between the guilty and the witnesses.
So, you avoid him.
Not out of fear exactly, but out of caution. Self-preservation. You don’t want to be the next crack in the walls of this house.
Tim was a different kind of strange. More than Jason, though in a completely different way. His oddity didn’t stem from aggression or visible trauma. It was more subtle. More internal.
Almost clinical.
You observed him, like you observe everything. With that gaze of yours that searches for patterns, inconsistencies, vulnerabilities. And in him, you found many.
Surprisingly, Tim was brilliant. Not just "smart for his age," but one of those cases where the brain moves faster than the body. Too fast. So much so, that sometimes it seemed like his body gave up halfway through.
The dark circles under his eyes were a constant. His responses were slow, as if they had to pass through a filter of a thousand thoughts before being verbalized. He walked like his mind was too heavy for his spine to carry. A shadow carrying ideas. You were surprised he hadn’t fainted yet from the combination of insomnia, chronic stress, and mild malnutrition.
No one asked you.
No one thanked you.
But still, you started leaving him food. Food that could sustain him without causing a stomach collapse. Nothing too obvious, of course. A yogurt here. Cut fruits there.
Something easy to eat between keystrokes. You allied yourself with Alfred in that small act of silent intervention. The old butler seemed to notice, but he never mentioned it. And you never confirmed it.
Tim would probably assume it was all Alfred’s doing. In fact, you counted on it.
Not because you wanted to keep it a secret. But because you knew that if he suspected you were behind something so... "thoughtful," it would only make him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how to respond to care, to the intention behind such detail. Tim doesn’t know how to handle it if that sincere gesture comes from you.
Just like you would if any of them ever tried it with you.
Alfred... Alfred is a different matter.
Of all the people in the house, he’s the only one who acts like your existence isn’t a miscalculation. But he doesn’t fool himself. He doesn’t offer you love, or tenderness. He offers you structure. Routine. Measured phrases and cups of tea.
It’s not affection between you.
It’s a sort of tacit alliance.
Two functional people in the middle of a broken ecosystem.
You know he tries. But you also know it’s not enough for you.
You’ve seen children like you. In hospitals. In refugee camps. In temporary homes. Children who cling to an adult figure as if their life depended on it, and are then destroyed when that figure leaves. Or worse, when they stay but stop looking.
You don’t want that for yourself.
You convince yourself this is better. A working relationship. A dynamic where each one fulfills their role and no one crosses the line into the personal. Because if you get attached, if you let yourself believe this could mean something...
You know how that ends. They can’t give you what you’re looking for.
They can’t give you purpose.
They can’t return what was taken from you when you understood that your value only exists if you can heal, if you can serve, if you can be useful.
You still don’t know who you are when you’re none of that.
Back to the subject of your "family," the last on the list of who your siblings were, was Damian.
The youngest of the group. The second biological son of Bruce Wayne.
You said it out loud once, casually: "Ah, so he is the real one."
No one found it funny.
Unlike the others, Damian didn’t need time to show you that you weren’t welcome. He didn’t bother to fake courtesy or neutrality. From the beginning, he made it clear that your existence was expendable.
Maybe it was your silence. Maybe it was your lack of reaction to his provocations. Maybe he just didn’t like you. But he pointed his katana at you the first month you arrived.
The blade against your neck wasn’t a metaphor. It was real, cold, intimidating contact. You felt a thread of power activate instinctively in your body, a reflex of defense, of desperation. If you had let it go, well, you wouldn’t be here, mentally recalling this account.
You didn’t. Not for him. For you.
Because it wasn’t worth it. Because using your power on someone in your “family” would mean admitting they were important enough to hurt you.
They weren’t. Not yet.
You can’t risk being discovered. No one can know that you actually have this power. None of them can know.
Bruce appeared just in time to prevent the confrontation from escalating. Did he protect you? Not exactly. He simply said something like, “Damian has a complicated history,” as if that justified a death threat in the family kitchen.
Is it common in Gotham to justify a child’s homicidal impulses if they've had a difficult childhood?
That was your question. You didn’t ask it out loud. No one would have liked the answer.
It was also that day you found out that Damian was Bruce’s biological son. And you couldn’t help but think about the irony of it all.
The same Bruce Wayne who, in the public eye, was a scandalous figure, a charming, charismatic playboy billionaire with endless parties, had exactly one biological child. One. Not five. Not a legion of illegitimate children scattered across the world. Just one.
That kid turned out to be a ticking time bomb with a traditional sword.
Everything fit so perfectly wrong that it almost seemed planned.
With the girls, it's complicated. Maybe even more so because, deep down, a part of you thought they could be different.
Stephanie. She was like a female version of Richard, a constant smile, a vibrant energy that everyone seemed to adore, except you.
She greeted you with empty enthusiasm, one that never went beyond the surface. It was easy to see that behind her good mood, there was a locked door she wasn’t going to open for you.
And you understood. Because you'd seen it before.
People who act as if everyone is welcome, except you.
Stephanie was just another confirmation that no matter how hard you tried to fit in, this home was already full. You weren’t in the original plan. You never were.
Barbara, on the other hand, was simpler. She was hardly ever at the mansion. You’d see her sporadically, a red ghost in the shadows of fleeting visits. And still, in that limited time, she always found a way to smile at others, share a joke, a quick conversation, a knowing glance… Never with you.
Not once.
It was as if your presence went by unnoticed, not even worth including out of courtesy.
Cassandra was the most honest, in a way. She didn’t pretend. She didn’t smile. She didn’t speak.
She ignored your attempts to help with almost admirable efficiency. You could attribute it to her trauma, her history, her way of seeing the world… but that excuse starts to wear thin when it’s the only one left to justify everything.
Maybe you’re just not interesting. Maybe you don’t even stand out enough to be actively rejected.
Or is it because you don’t even deserve her attention?
It was easier to believe that they all had a reason not to see you.
Easier than admitting that maybe, you weren’t that hard to ignore.
What was dangerous about this family wasn’t the weapons, nor the katanas, nor the fists that had broken ribs more than once.
It was the mask.
It took you time to understand it. First, it was a hunch. Then a suspicion. Finally, a certainty: they were all vigilantes. Heroes of Gotham. The same ones who make your hands tremble when you try to use your power. The ones who make your gift feel useless. As if it were a mistake rather than a blessing.
The irony is so perfect it could almost make you laugh.
You can’t feel useful, can’t do the one thing you know how to do perfectly, because you’re surrounded by those who fight so that people and beings like you are neither necessary nor welcome.
And yet, you prefer them this way.
Cold. Distant. Detached. Unknown. Because connections are dangerous. Because memories weigh. Because at some point, someone taught you that affection is the hook that precedes the pain.
Because you know it better than anyone. When you get attached to someone, it’s not just pain that you feel when you lose them. It’s as if a part of you dies too. Not because you lose them, but because without your power, without that “usefulness,” you feel like you never deserved to have them in the first place.
In Gotham, you can’t do anything.
You can't heal.
You can't save.
You can't be useful.
You can't be loved. Or at least, that’s what they taught you to believe.
Here, you have no parts left that you can afford to lose. Not while you're trapped in this city that doesn’t need what you can give. A family that doesn't know what to do with you. You don’t know what to do with yourself either.
They can’t give you a purpose.
They never could.
They didn’t even try.
You expected so little, that not even that surprised you.
Until you found him.
The only living person who not only recognized your power, but accepted it for what you wanted it to be:
A miracle.
He called himself Doctor Masashi. A kind voice, a serene figure. But behind that calmness was surgical precision. He knew exactly how to shape you. How to rebuild you, only to destroy you again with elegance.
He was the only one who never lied to you about what you were:
A weapon.
A tool.
A precious jewel that only shines when it bleeds for others.
A perfect puppet.
And you, grateful for the strings.
He gave you direction when all you had was guilt.
He gave you structure when all you had was emptiness.
He gave you… meaning. A cruel meaning. A conditioned meaning. But still, you took it.
It can't be that bad, right?
Clinging to that.
Clinging to him.
Clinging to something that tells you that you can still be "something."
Because if someone, even just one person, can look at you and say that you are good for something, then you're not broken.
Then you're not alone. Then everything that hurt was worth it.
Even if guilt drowns you every night.
Even if the nightmares never rest.
Even if the hands you tried to save still drag you from their graves, begging for a second death.
It doesn't matter. As long as someone believes that keeping you alive makes sense... then that’s enough.
Right?
Maybe you're a weapon.
Maybe you're selfish.
Maybe you did it all just out of fear of disappearing, for that unbearable need to feel alive.
The need to feel that you matter. To have a place to fit in.
But at least you're something. In this shattered world, that's already more than many have.
But how much more can you take before you truly break? How much longer before you completely crumble, like so many times you did on the inside? How much will the price of his greed cost… and your desperate desire to remain useful?
Because in the end, it wasn't Bruce.
Nor your brothers.
Nor your sisters.
None of them ever knew who you were.
None of them understood.
Only him. Only Masashi.
That’s what scares you the most. Because if even he can make you believe that’s all you’re worth. If even he manages to make you cling to that idea, then maybe, you were never more than that.
Maybe you were never more than your power, and in Gotham, where you can no longer use it...
Not even that belongs to you.
#female reader#tw neglect#neglected reader#healer#mental health#emotional abuse#child neglect#dc comics#batfam x batsis#batsis!reader#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#batfamily x neglected reader#yosano akiko#bruce wayne x daughter reader#platonic batfam#tw abuse#child abuse#dc x reader#angst#healer!reader#batfamily x batsis!reader#medic!reader#yandere platonic#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batboys#⟢🪻 hold on to reason (or fall for the illusion)#٠࣪⭑ enigma
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Three times where Anakin’s jealousy was harmless, even fun, and one when it wasn't.
Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Reader/OFC.
Summary: Every time he sees her across the room and forgets to breathe, forgets that damn code that complicates his life. She knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s beauty, power, and temptation wrapped in one impossible woman, and everyone wants her, but she only burns for him. Every time he sees her with someone else, Anakin’s composure cracks a little more.
Word count: 7.141
Warnings: Anakin, a warning itself. A little bit of smut, not graphic, there, toxicity there, jealousy, a creep, violence and blood. (let me know if i miss something).
Author’s note: Hiii, two times in one day, count yourselves lucky. First time writting for our sweet beloved Ani.
This is inspired by hours and hours of clone wars and this tiktok. It goes without saying that all this is fictional, I don't want to upseat anyone, this is for fun.
With that being said, enjoy, hope you like it. Lots of love, ME.
(gif credits to the owner)
The air was thick with expensive perfume, velvet words and politics. Senators with fabricated smiles moved like currents through golden light, their laughter overlapping with the soft strings of the Nabooian quartet tucked into one corner of the ballroom. Glasses clinked. Conversations sparkled.
Anakin felt her before she even entered the hall properly. The soft tug in his chest told him she was close, and when she stepped into view, adorned in metallic green robes that kissed the floor, hugged her curves and shimmered as she moved, he nearly forgot to breathe.
And so did everyone else.
She looked like a whispered sin.
Men turned. Women glanced. Senators whispered. Generals approached her. Every damn set of eyes in that room followed her. Of course they did because she looked like the brightest star of them all.
Anakin could feel them, sense their intentions as they approached her with too-wide smiles like the itch of static across his skin. Their attention wasn’t polite, it was hungry.
His eyes saw her having polite smiles, he heard her laughter, rare but dazzling, curved through the air like sunlight on water, and it struck him, standing across the room in ceremonial Jedi robes, how damn bright she was.
And how many men wanted to bask in her glow.
She was the kind of woman people gravitated toward. A quiet sun in the middle of a storm. A cathedral in a world of shacks, commanding awe.
He stood across the ballroom, robed in Jedi formality, a guest and a ghost. His hands stayed folded behind his back, his expression neutral. But inside, he was seething as yet another advisor leaned just a little too close, whispering something into her ear that made her smile, and his fingers curled into a fist.
For hours, she moved like light across the floor, drawn into every orbit. People hoarded her attention, called her name, asked for things, fed off her warmth. She smiled, laughed, and even joked. All while never looking at him. Not even once.
Then it happened, some Republic attaché leaned in to say something, too close, and she turned her head to hear him better, her shoulder brushing his chest. His hand hovered just behind her waist. Not touching, not quite.
But Anakin felt it, felt the heat surge like a detonation in his chest. A sharp, hot pang hit low in his gut.
He hadn’t touched her in weeks, some mission in some Outer Rim dustbowl, he couldn’t even remember the name now. All he could think about in that moment was the ghost of her skin under his callus fingers, soft, smooth, velvet-warm and seared into his memory like a brand.
And now others were close enough to smell her perfume.
He exhaled slowly through his nose, willing the fire down, but it simmered. Oh, it simmered. Another man stepped up to her side, clearly emboldened. Flirting again. Anakin’s knuckles whitened behind his back.
She plucked the flower the man offered her, twirled it between her fingers, and, finally, looked up. Across the room, past every other face. Right at him and her smile changed. Slow. Private. Not for anyone else. She knew what she was doing and she loved it. He could feel the pulse of her amusement, soft and golden behind her ribcage, glowing just for him.
And that was enough to cool the burn. For now.
She excused herself a few moments later, slipping away with the tail of her gown floating behind her, weaving through polished diplomats and oblivious senators. He waited precisely ten seconds before following, every step practiced restraint.
The cool night air of Coruscant swept over the balcony, a quiet haven away from the noise and glitter of the gala. The hum of air traffic and muffled music were distant, irrelevant things. All Anakin saw, all he ever saw, even in his dreams, was her.
She leaned against the railing like she owned the city, like the stars were her playthings. The wind caught her hair just enough to make him ache.
“You looked cozy in there,” he said, voice low, sharp at the edges. “Your... fan club seemed enthusiastic tonight.”
She didn’t turn. Just let the silence stretch, knowing it’d get to him. It always did.
“Fan club?” she echoed at last, tone light, teasing. “Sounds like jealousy, Skywalker.”
Anakin scoffed and folded his arms. “Interesting choice of company tonight. You always did like the dramatic types.”
She turned, one brow lifted. “You mean politicians?”
“I mean men who seem to forget that you are clearly out of their league.” He stepped closer, boots nearly silent, heat radiating off him in waves.
“You know,” she continued, tilting her head slightly to the side, “if I do have a fan club, I’m pretty sure you started it. That whole brooding stare-from-across-the-room thing? Very compelling.”
His jaw ticked. “Right. I’ll remember to blink next time I watch you let half the Senate fall in love with you.”
Her eyes glittered as she turned to face him. “You were watching.”
“You knew I was.”
“Practically vibrating,” she teased. “If you glared any harder, you’d have ignited the Chancellor’s carpet.”
The Force crackled faintly between them, quiet, intimate, like the brush of fingers on bare skin. He didn’t have to reach for her emotions; they poured into him like sunlight and wildfire. She was amused. Charged. Testing him.
She took a step closer. Barely there, but it was enough. “Maker, you’re jealous,” she murmured, delighted at how much tension it was in his jaw and arms. “That’s adorable.”
That did it.
In one smooth, sudden motion, Anakin pressed her back into the shadows of the balcony, out of sight. Her breath caught as the cold stone met part of her spine and his body followed, flush against hers, every line of him pressed with unrelenting intent, the warmth of his palm burning the small of her back. His metallic hand caught her jaw, tilting her face up, not rough, but firm.
His eyes burned gold in the dark as the shadows wrapped them in silence, covering their secret.
“Do you know how hard it is not to touch you when they do?” he hissed, breath hot against her cheek. “Not to shout that you’re mine?”
She smiled slowly, challenging. “You don’t need to shout.”
He growled softly, teeth clenched. “Right, because you’re the one who loves to be loud.”
She didn’t deny it. “I love to shout your name,” she purred as her fingers found his belt, tugging him even closer.
Their mouths crashed together in a kiss that had no business being soft. It was hot, messy, desperate, brutal in its restraint. Tongues sliding, biting, fighting for dominance, hands gripping wherever they could, pulling the other deeper, like the weeks apart hadn’t worn their restraint down to shreds.
He groaned into her mouth when she bit his lip, and she gasped when he pressed his big leg slid between hers with sinful precision, and Anakin swallowed the sound greedily.
The world outside didn’t exist. There was only this, this fire, this want, this ache they weren’t allowed to name. And the Force around them swirled, tight and humming, their shared emotions tangling like limbs in the dark. Possession. Desire. Frustration. Love, blistering and untouchable.
They kissed like they were starving. Like they might not get the chance again. Like it wasn’t enough to be his in secret, she wanted to be his in blood, in breath, in everything.
When they finally pulled apart, panting, her lipstick smudged, his hair a mess, and her dress rumpled, he still didn’t move.
He leaned his forehead to hers, eyes closed, hand on her cheek now, softer. But the tremble in his chest hadn’t gone.
“You are mine,” Anakin whispered.
Somewhere inside, he knew this was dangerous.
But her hand running in his hair, tugging softly, her lips swollen and smirking beneath his, and the feeling of her emotions bleeding into his own, her heart thudding against his. “Always.”
It all made him reckless.
Made him Anakin.
The halls of the Jedi Temple bathed in a golden wash of sunlight that stretched through high windows. It was a sanctuary, quiet and disciplined, above any kind of distraction.
Anakin stood with his arms crossed, flanked by a line of teen knights finishing saber drills under his supervision. The hum and clash of practice blades echoed through the open-air courtyard, mid morning sun painting golden light across the pale stone floors.
He was focused, they all were. Until he wasn’t anymore.
A tug. It started like a subtle itch in his chest. That familiar flutter of energy in the Force that only she caused. His posture shifted almost imperceptibly. Then came the whispers. The laughter. The telltale shift in attention that shouldn’t be happening in a Temple.
Anakin turned and there she was. She had always made a mockery of Jedi rules just by simply existing.
She moved through the courtyard like a comet, bright, elegant, entirely out of place and somehow right there. The sun kissed her skin and made her glow. Hair swept back, face glowing, wearing that rich blue gown that fitted her like a globe and stole breaths left and right.
Poor young Jedis, they barely stood a chance.
He watched, arms still crossed, as they began to trip over themselves for her, far too eagerly.
A taller knight stumbled forward, lightsaber already off, bowing too low. “Senator, would you care for a demonstration?”
Another, younger, grinned, straightening his robes with unnecessary flair, puffed up his chest and opened his mouth to talk, but was cut short by a third that stepped in beside her, charming and overly familiar. “Senator,” he said, smirking, offering his arm. “Perhaps I could escort you to the Grand Hall? The Temple’s layout can be disorienting, after all.”
“Actually,” another interrupted, “I was just about to take my morning walk, can I show you the gardens?”
Anakin narrowed his eyes. The younger knights, barely past their trials, surrounded her like moths to flame. Soon, he was sure the entire practice floor was about to break in spontaneous combat displays.
They were all smiles and flushed cheeks, tripping over each other for a chance to impress her but all she did was smile politely, the corner of her mouth twitching in amusement.
Anakin moved, dangerously calm, all coiled control and silent warning. The kind of movement that sliced through space like a saber unsheathed, needing no sound to be final. He stepped into view like a storm rolling over a bright sky. Shadows clung to his silhouette, jaw set, blue eyes hard. He towered over the young knights who were still mid-stammer and mid-swoon.
Her eyes found his instantly and a smile, bright, amused, knowing exactly what this was, appeared on her tempting lips. “General Skywalker,” she greeted, honey-smooth and just this side of smug.
“Senator,” he said, voice all clipped politeness, but there was a glint in his eye only she could read. “You’re expected elsewhere. Please—come with me.”
It wasn’t a request. Not really.
She tilted her head, clearly entertained, and followed without protest. Behind her, the poor knights stood shell-shocked and heartbroken.
Anakin took her the long way, through narrow passages and shadow-laced halls that only he would know. Hidden corridors carved into the Temple’s bones, tucked from sight and sound. No one followed. No one dared. No one ever did when he didn’t want them to.
The tension thrummed between them. Unspoken. Electric. She could feel it through the thread they never dared name. That quiet, intimate current that pulsed like a live wire between their hearts. It made her skin prickle and her mouth curl.
“You’re brooding,” she said lightly, brushing his hand with hers.
“They were drooling,” he replied, jaw clenched, walking too fast.
She laughed softly. “You’re a menace.” Force humming quietly between them in familiar warmth.
He didn’t deny it. Just opened the door to his quarters and tilted his head towards the inside. His eyes burned hotter than the twin suns. “They were idiots.”
“They were children,” she said, shrugging off her shawl. “It was flattering, sure. But harmless.”
She stepped into his space and reached for his tunic, smoothing invisible wrinkles just for the excuse to touch him.
His hands found her waist like magnets, urgent, desperate. Like his world only started spinning when she was close. Like he’d been starving for the feel of her. “You’re mine,” he muttered, voice rough, low.
The second she pressed against him, the tension snapped. His shoulders dropped and his breath hitched. She always did this to him, only she ever could.
The smile she gave him lit up every star in his chest.
“Possessive much?” she teased, lifting her gaze beneath her lashes. Her hand rested against his chest, gentle pressure just over his heart. “You’re lucky that’s sexy.”
“They don’t even see you,” he growled, lips brushing the edge of her jaw as he inhaled her. “Not really. Not like I do.”
Her fingers slid into his hair, threading through the waves of it, soft and slow. His anger began to dissolve under her touch.
“I know that,” she whispered, grounding him. “You don’t have to prove anything, Ani.” Her lips brushed his, featherlight. “I only have eyes for one Jedi Knight,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
A sharp breath left his lungs, forehead pressed to hers. He didn’t speak. Just stood there and felt her. Let her presence, her truth, her kiss soften all the edges. As it always did.
“You’re the only one,” she said, voice softer now, brushing her lips against his. “The only one who gets to take me home.”
He said nothing. He just clenched his jaw and looked at her like she was the entire galaxy, beautiful, untouchable, and he didn’t know how to protect her from it without claiming her. But Anakin was ready to go to the end of time to keep her safe, even if it meant destroying himself in the process.
She kissed him, soft and slow, with reverence, her thumb brushed along his jaw and his hands finally moved. One slid around her lower back, the other tangled in her hair, cradling her like something both sacred and dangerous.
“You were planning to come early,” he said, voice rasping low. “Just to see me.”
She smiled against his lips. “Took you long enough to figure it out, my love.”
He kissed her, deeper, hungrier. Less about proving, more about having. Reverence disguised as hunger. Possession disguised as devotion.
They didn’t speak again for a while. Not when she tugged him toward his bed. Not when his hands ran down her back like he was mapping out the constellations of her skin. Not when his mouth marked her skin like scripture. Not when she gasped his name like it anchored her. Not when he murmured her name like a prayer. And definitely not when the Force pulsed around them, holding the world at bay.
She had come early and now, thanks to him, she’d come more than once… and would definitely be late to her meeting, with love bites and traces of him in places only he could see later in the night.
But that had always been the danger, with her, time bent, it didn’t really matter. The world waited. Only she existed.
And if anyone asked, well, he was General Skywalker. And no one dared question him.
She was trying to work. Key word, trying. Because trying didn’t stand a chance when Anakin Skywalker was in the room. Her focus kept going to him.
He wasn’t even doing anything, not really. Just existing, sprawled across the soft seating like it was his throne, golden and smug. His presence filled the space like a storm fills the horizon, vast and crackling, impossible to ignore. She could feel him under her skin, behind her ribs, humming through her bloodstream even with five feet and a desk between them.
And he knew it, of course he did, he could feel the effect he had on her.
“You know,” he said casually, leaning back and resting the back of his head in his intertwined fingers, “we should go away.”
She didn’t look up from her datapad. “Go away?”
“A vacation.” He was already picturing it, voice wrapped in sunlight. “Just the two of us. There’s a place, far, far from here, remote, beautiful, where no one would recognize us.” He looked at her. “It will be like we are an actual couple instead of Senator and Jedi.”
Her fingers paused above the screen, the weight of the idea pressing into her chest like warmth. She could see it too, for a moment. Feel it like a dream she wanted to believe in.
“I would love nothing more,” she said honestly. “But I can’t, Ani.”
“What do you mean you can’t?” he sat up, affronted, like she’d personally insulted the sun. ���It’s two weeks. The Senate can survive without you. Miraculously, I know.”
She sighed, still not looking at him. “I’m sure it can. But I have propositions to review, bills to finalize, votes to prepare. Important meetings—”
He stepped around her desk and popped a dramatic hip like the galaxy's most petulant god. “More important than me?”
She narrowed her eyes, slow and sharp. “You know exactly what you mean to me.”
“Do I?” he said dramatically, crossing his arms and turning around like a tragic holo actor. “Because right now it feels like my heart is being shoved to the bottom of your schedule.”
She let out a breath and leaned back in her chair, folding her hands across her stomach as she studied him.
“Our love is everything to me,” she said carefully. “But my work matters too. It matters for people who don’t have the luxury of sneaking away. Our work matters, Anakin. What we do matters.”
“To me there’s nothing more important than you,” he said standing there with his back to her, arms crossed like a storm cloud, radiating disappointment in dramatic waves.
She stared at his back, lips twitching. “That better not be a pout.”
“No,” he grumbled, “it’s… noble heartbreak.”
She laughed softly, Maker help her, she adored this ridiculous man. “You’re such a menace.”
“And yet here you are,” he said, not turning around. “Still not on vacation with me.”
She stood, walked towards him and slid her hands around his waist, resting her chin between his shoulder blades. “What can I do to prove to you that you matter the most to me?”
“The damage is already done,” he said with great theatrical flair.
A laugh almost escaped her lips, but she pushed it back, and in a swift motion she stood in front of him. Her fingers found his jaw, warm, strong, and tilted his face down to hers.
“My sweet sweet Ani,” she whispered, her lips slow, hot, reverent, against his, making him melt, just a little. “If you want proof,” she murmured, “then let me show you what you mean to me.”
She kissed him, soft and deep, hands threading through his hair possessively, it silenced every protest he thought about making.
The kiss was heated, frantic, like they’d been starving for each other and finally allowed to feast. It was instant combustion. No slow burn, no delicate teasing. Just raw need, all fire and ache and knowing. He exhaled into her mouth, his hands tangled in her hair, then moved down to her waist, clutching like gravity itself had shifted and he was grounding himself.
She tasted like stars and defiance. He kissed her like she was air and flame all at once. The fire she lit inside him was hers alone to command.
When her mouth grazed his neck, what was left of his composure unraveled like silk and his lips met hers again. He walked them back, blindly, not breaking the kiss, not once, her mouth still pressed to his, until she hit the bookshelf. He pinned her there, one hand cradling her head so she wouldn’t knock into the shelves. Books toppled behind them like falling stars as his mouth found her throat, her collarbone, her name falling from his lips like a prayer he’d been dying to say.
She gasped, breathless and burning, and he kissed her harder, like he needed to brand himself into her soul.
Then he moved again, his hands were already back on her, mapping the lines of her body like sacred territory. He knew every curve, every reaction, how she’d shiver when he kissed just below her jaw, how her breath caught when his fingers traced her spine. They collided again, lips bruising, hands insistent.
But it wasn’t just need, it was knowing. The kind of knowing that came from worship and war, from battles fought side by side and promises whispered in the dark.
When the desk hit the backs of her thighs, he lifted her onto it, his free hand shooting out to sweep everything off the surface in one violent motion, datapads, files, a stylus, a small potted plant, all crashing to the floor as if the whole galaxy could wait while his was mouth still on hers, and she pulled him in like gravity had given up and left only them.
They moved together in a rhythm as old as time, sharp gasps, soft moans, whispered names, a symphony of want and devotion echoing off polished wood and walls that had seen too much and still not enough.
Her legs wrapped around his hips, her heels locking at the small of his back, pulling him into her, into this, and he thrust into her, the sound she made shattered him. Her head fell back, exposing her throat, and he kissed it reverently, like a knight bent before a goddess.
She was wrapped around him, tangled in his body like ivy on stone. Her hands were in his hair, his tunic, her voice in his ear, guiding him, worshipping him. His mouth dragged over her neck, her chest, every place that made her tremble.
His hands moved over her body like he knew every inch of her in his bones, because he did. He didn’t fumble. He didn’t guess. He knew her like he knew the hilt of his saber, like breath, like instinct. He knew what would make her gasp, what would make her moan, what would unravel her completely. And she gave herself to it, to him, because she knew him just the same.
When the desk groaned in protest, he lifted her into his arms, and she laughed breathlessly against his mouth as he carried her to the little velvet sofa, limbs tangled, breathing ragged. He continued to worship her there, whispering her name like it was a secret spell that bound the universe together. She pulled him in with her eyes, with her hands, with the soft, broken sound she only ever made for him.
Every movement, every sound, every glance between them was instinct, history, devotion. They didn’t have to speak. They knew.
And when they finally collapsed on the floor, sweaty, undone, breathless and wrecked and more whole than ever, he hovered over her, brushing damp hair from her face, his heart pounding against hers.
“You are everything to me,” she whispered, cupping his cheek.
His lips curved into a crooked smile as he pressed his forehead to hers. “No,” he murmured. “We’re everything.”
The gala was crowded, loud, and glittering with too much fake gold and not enough sincerity. She floated through it like she always did, charming, gracious, intelligent. Every word laced with purpose and diplomacy. She was dazzling, magnetic. Untouchable.
Anakin had been watching her from across the room, he always is, with admiration, with love blossoming in his chest, but tonight his jaw was clenched so tightly it could shatter in any moment.
Senator Vanto of Andosha was practically glued to her side, as he had seemed to be lately. He had been circling for weeks like a blood-slicked nexu. It started with a look across the Senate, followed by sugar-drenched pleasantries echoing in marble halls and smiles that lasted a second too long, then a fleeting compliment with a lingering hand on her back. Then he started to get more bold, a too-close whisper over a datapad, every time she laughed the man leaned in closer, taking every possible opportunity to have a hand on her, his eyes devouring her like a predator savoring the kill.
Anakin had seen it all, every touch, every glance from the Senator over the last few weeks, and it burned through him like acid, each and every single time, and she didn’t see it. Or worse, she refused to.
Now, in that glittering cage, every time he even breathed close to her, every time she flashed that too-perfect public smile, Anakin’s vision blurred at the edges. And when the senator started parading around with a hand on the small of her back, his filthy hand on her smooth velvety skin, fingers grazing the open back of her gown like he had the right, like he could, Anakin’s blood boiled.
And she, she laughed, not her real laugh, the one she gave him in quiet moments beneath tangled sheets, but the polite one she wore in public. It didn’t matter. It burned all the same.
Without a word, he turned on his heel, strides clipped and purposeful. He didn’t care who saw. Let the whole damn Senate speculate. Let them whisper. He didn’t care. He launched his fighter and left.
By the time she got home, the apartment was dark. Cold. But not silent. Anakin was there, pacing like a caged animal, shoulders tight with barely restrained fury.
She didn’t even get her shoes off before the storm hit. “Something wrong Ani?” she asked, the door barely clicking shut behind her.
He turned, the heat in his eyes sparking like wildfire. “You really have to ask?”
She blinked at him, confused, tension curling at the edge of her spine. “I don’t understand.” She frowned, “If you’re upset about something, say it. Don’t just, brood,” she said, unwinding the earrings from her lobes.
“I’m not brooding,” he snapped. “I’m trying very hard not to explode.”
She scoffed. “Well, you’re doing a terrible job.”
“Just like you were at keeping Senator Vanto’s filthy hands off you,” he said, sarcasm dripping like venom.
Her breath caught. “Are you really going to start again?” she snapped, looking at him through the mirror in the room, pulling the pins from her hair, letting it tumble over her back. “I’ve told you, he’s a colleague. That’s all.”
Anakin stood dead center in the room, arms stiff at his sides, fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white. “A colleague who practically breathes down your neck every time you’re in the same room. And you let him!”
Her laugh was cold, sharp. “Let him? You think I let him?”
“I don’t think,” he said, voice jagged. “I saw you with my own eyes!”
“I was doing my job!” she said loudly, turning towards him. “Talking, negotiating, building rapport, which is what I’ve always done. What do you want me to do, Anakin? Be rude? Push him away in front of the entire Senate chamber just to make you feel better? Throw a drink in his face and declare I belong to you?”
“I’m asking you to see it,” he bit out. “He touches you like he owns you.”
“I don’t belong to anyone!” she yelled, sharply and coldly.
“I thought you said you were mine,” he said, lower now, his voice breaking at the edges.
“I’m not a possession, Anakin.”
“No,” he said, quieter, rawer. “But you are mine, just as I’m yours, because we chose each other. Because what we have is real. And he’s trying to take you from me,” he said, touching his chest.
Her laugh then wasn’t cold, it was shattered. “You sound insane.”
He stepped closer, too close. “And you sound blind.”
The room froze.
Her face hardened, voice tightening like she was holding back something sharp. “Do you hear yourself right now? He’s not the problem here, Anakin. You are.”
That cracked something in him, clean through the middle, cracking his chest open.
“No,” he said, voice rising. “I’m the one who’s stuck waiting while he gets to stand beside you, hover over you, touch you. Me, the man that has loved you since the first time he saw you, who would burn the galaxy down just to keep you safe, gets crumbs behind closed doors! So excuse me if I’m sick of pretending this doesn’t bother me!”
Her heart stung like it had been slapped. “You think this is easy for me? Hiding, lying, splitting myself in two just to make this work—”
“Then maybe it’s not worth it,” he snapped.
She flinched, like he’d hit her. Her mouth opened, then closed, her voice caught behind the pressure building in her chest.
The silence that followed was instant and total. The air turned to glass between them, fragile, sharp, suffocating, waiting to shatter.
Her voice dropped to just a whisper. “Is that really how you feel?”
He faltered. He didn’t mean it. But pride, stupid, stubborn pride, held his tongue hostage and wouldn’t let him soften. “Maybe it is.”
Her breath hitched, then turned away from him, jaw clenched so tight it trembled. “Then go,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, holding herself together with the last thread of her control she had before shattering.
Anakin didn’t move, said nothing. His jaw ticked, lips pressed into a thin, bloodless line. He stared at her back for a long moment, at the way her shoulders rose and fell like she was holding it together, barely.
He wanted to take it back. Maker, he wanted to. He wanted to cross the galaxy that appeared between them and fix it, he wanted to hold her and not go.
But he didn’t, and instead turned on his heel and walked out, again. Jumping on his fighter and going away, leaving her in the quiet wreckage of their home.
The silence echoed through the apartment like a thunderclap as she stood there, still in her gown, her earrings in her hand, hair loose caressing her back, and shaking. The lights hummed softly above her. The room felt cavernous without him in it.
And all she could do was stand there, alone, tears pulling in her eyes, surrounded by the wreckage of what they’d built, and wonder, maybe this time, they’d broken something they couldn’t fix.
A full day passed.
She hadn’t moved much, buried under blankets, curtains drawn to shut out the light that mocked her with its warmth. Her datapad buzzed every few hours with messages and alerts, unanswered. The Senate could wait. The galaxy could wait. For the first time in years, she let herself unravel. The senator, the leader, the unshakable voice of reason, reduced to someone wrapped in silence and tears. There was the steady hum of sorrow beneath her skin and the raw ache of something lost, sobs coming and going in waves, breaking through moments of numb silence. She tried to hate him. Tried to hate herself. Neither feeling stuck. Only grief for what might already be gone did.
By late afternoon, the tears had run dry, replaced by something hollow. She pulled herself out of bed, her muscles aching like she had fought a war in her sleep. The shower steamed the mirror, the water was hot, steady, cleansing, grounding her just enough to feel like maybe she could start over.
Maybe.
But she wasn’t sure if she wanted to.
She was wrapping her robe around her when the knock came. She frowned, confused. No one was supposed to visit. The few people who might, had the good sense not to.
When she opened the door, Senator Vanto stood there.
Concern painted across his features like a poor artist’s attempt at sincerity. “You weren’t at the Senate today,” he said, stepping inside uninvited. “People were asking. I was worried that you perhaps were ill.”
She blinked, unsettled. “I... wasn’t feeling well.”
He smiled, taking a slow, familiar step toward her. “I figured as much. I thought maybe I could help. Maybe you needed someone to talk to.” His eyes dragged over her, landing on her exposed collarbone where the robe dipped. “Or just someone.”
A chill slid down her spine and she tightening the piece of clothing around her.
She moved toward the sitting area, creating distance, hoping he’d take the hint. “Thank you for your concern, but really, I’m fine.”
“I know,” he said smoothly, following her, “but maybe it’s time you stop pretending you don’t need anyone.” He looked her over, the flush skin, her bare legs, her wet hair. “You need someone who can take care of you,” he reached out, brushing a strand of damp hair from her face.
She stepped back, discomfort. Her skin prickled, but not the way it did when Anakin touched her. There was no warmth here, no tenderness. Just a creeping, nauseating wrongness.
“I said I’m fine.” Again, she rounded the sitting area and tried to put as much distance between them as she could.
But he followed, again, too closely, too comfortably. With every inch she gave, he took more.
“You’ve always kept yourself surrounded by politics, war, rules, men who are never really there for you. Jedi who disappear when it matters most.” He said it with meaning, with venom. “But not me,” he sat and pushed her to sit with him. “I wouldn’t leave you alone, not even for a second.”
Her knees hit the cushions before her mind registered what had happened. Her stomach turned. “Vanto—”
“I mean it.” His voice dropped. “You need a man who’s strong enough to handle you. Someone who knows what to do with a woman like you.” His eyes drifted down. “Someone who knows how to touch you.” His hand landed on her thigh, firm, possessive.
Her blood froze. The hand was not delicate, not gentle. It burned. Her skin crawled under it.
“I can give you what he never could.” His voice slithered around her. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
She tensed, tried to inch away, but his hand gripped tighter. “Let go of me,” she pushed his hand away. “It’s time for you to go,” she said, standing sharply.
He stood too, moving in close, cornering her. “Come on, darling,” he said with a twisted smirk on his lips.
She backed up. Her robe slipped slightly off one shoulder again, she yanked it up with trembling fingers.
“You can stop pretending now. No one’s watching.” His hand caught her arm.
She yanked back. “Don’t touch me.”
But he didn’t stop and his grip tightened. “I’ve seen the way you look at me—”
“There’s no way I look at you,” she snapped, breath catching. “Let go of me.”
“No more playing game,” he smirked again.
“Stop it—” she twisted, trying to break free.
“No more hiding.” His other hand gripped her side, fingers digging through the thin robe like claws.
She gasped. “Please, no.”
The fear started creeping up her throat like acid.
Her skin was on fire where he touched her, not in the way Anakin lit her nerves with heat and reverence, but like poison seeping into her bones.
“You’ve got no one here but me.”
She whimpered, voice cracking. “I said no—please don’t—”
He leaned in, tried to kiss her.
She twisted, shoved against him, her voice shaking, heart in her throat. “I said no—!”
And then—The door burst open with a crash.
A wind tore through the room as if the stars themselves had followed him in.
Anakin stood there, eyes burning, jaw locked, the fury of a thousand suns radiating off of him. His voice was low, guttural, animalistic.
“Get. Away. From her.”
Vanto startled, letting go just long enough for her to stumble back. She shoved him hard, scrambling to the other side of the room.
And before she could even breathe, Anakin crossed the room in three strides. The Force lifted Vanto off the ground like he weighed nothing, like a ragdoll, choking him mid-air. His feet kicked helplessly as Anakin stalked forward.
“You dare to touch her,” Anakin growled, his voice was cold. Controlled, but barely.
He threw him against a wall and with his free hand, took his lightsaber and ignited with a snap-hiss of blue death. “You hurt her.” His face was carved in stone, his rage blistering, terrifying, as he pointed with his saber at him.
“Try fighting like a man,” Vanto stood up, coughing. “Without your Jedi tricks.”
Anakin’s lips twitched. A slow, dangerous smile, not at all kind. “Oh, it would be my pleasure.”
The saber shut off with a snap, and he launched forward.
The fight was brutal. No rules, no honor, just raw and animalistic fury unleashed in the flicker of a heartbeat.
She stood frozen, robe clenched tightly around her trembling frame, breath caught in her chest as she watched the man she loved, her sweet Ani, unravel.
Anakin was a storm, all fire and anguish and vengeance, striking with the kind of force that only came from years of buried grief, unspoken heartbreak and possessive love in every strike. Metal met flesh with a sickening precision. Blood splattered. Vanto swung wildly and desperate, landing a few hits, but they barely registered.
Anakin was relentless, built for combat. Designed for it. He wasn’t born like that, for war, but he was made into it. War had carved him into a weapon, he was honed by pain, but underneath the fury still lived the boy who once only wanted to protect the people he loved. And now, seeing her hurt, that boy was screaming and the man he had become answered with rage.
“Anakin, stop!” she cried, breathless, panic bleeding into every syllable. “Don’t—please, he’s not worth it!”
In the chaos, as she tried to break them apart, to stop the devastation, Vanto’s fist swung. It wasn’t meant for her. But it found her anyway. It hit her, colliding with her cheek, sharp and brutal.
The sound, sickening, wrong, echoed through the room like a thunderclap. She gasped, stumbled, a cry of pain tearing from her throat as she crashed into the side table and fell. The thud of her body hitting the floor split the air.
Everything stopped. He punched her. She was on the ground, pain flashing in her glassy eyes, blood on her hand and a cut in her porcelain skin.
The sound she made, that wounded sound, more raw than war, more real than anything he’d ever heard, broke something in him so violently that his breath left him in a single, strangled gasp.
The world narrowed and all he saw was her, his word had fallen hurt and all his anger turned to something worse.
She was hurt. Because he hadn’t stopped it. Because he hadn’t been fast enough. Because he had left and was almost too late, again.
That was it, he snapped.
Anakin tackled Vanto with everything he had, not as a Jedi, but as a man who had seen the only thing that kept him sane, the source of his happiness, hurt and afraid. There was no humanity left as he charged. The punches came fast, the anger white-hot. He didn’t hear Vanto’s protests, and didn't care because all he saw was a danger to her. He threw him across the room, pinned him again, and hit him harder.
All he felt was heartbreak made flesh, striking out at the thing that dared hurt what mattered most to him.
Every hit said: You don’t touch her. Every hit said: You don’t get to make her afraid. Every hit said: She is mine to protect.
Only when Vanto was unmoving, groaning, bleeding, broken on the floor, did Anakin stop.
He stood there for a moment, chest heaving, fists trembling with fury. His eyes were wild, dark with something primal, something unbearable. A small whimper reached his ears and he turned around. She was still on the floor, broken and shaken.
The door opened again. Security. Too late.
Anakin rushed to her side, kneeling, hands shaking as he cupped her face. “Are you okay?” His voice cracked, desperate. “Look at me. Tell me you’re okay, please.”
He touched her cheek, gently, like she was made of light and grief and might vanish or shatter if he pressed too hard, and she whimpered at the contact. It wasn’t fear this time, nor pain. But because something in her had broken open, and he was the only one who could hold it together.
“This is all on me,” he breathed, horror and panic folding into his voice. His eyes burned, rimmed red. “Maker, forgive me—” His breath stuttered. “I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve—”
Her wide, tear-glossed eyes met his. “You came back,” she whispered, voice so small it broke him. Her trembling fingers touched his cheek, catching a tear as it slid down his face. “You came back right when I needed you.”
His face twisted with emotion, grief, relief, love that nearly broke him in two. “Of course I did,” he choked out. “I’ll always come back.”
Her lip quivered. “Don’t leave me again,” she pleaded. Her voice was broken, raw, but somehow softer.
He closed his eyes, forehead resting against hers, as if that could fuse them together and keep the world from breaking them again.
“Never,” he whispered, voice raw and aching. “My love, never.”
Behind them, security restrained Vanto’s broken, barely-conscious body. There was shouting. Movement. But none of it touched her. None of it touched him. But none of it mattered.
She leaned into Anakin’s touch, into the only thing that felt real, like it was the only thing anchoring her to this world. And maybe it was.
“Just hold me,” she whispered. “Hold me like only our love matters in this world. Hold me like only you know how to.”
Even if the fire of his rage still clung to him like a second skin, he was hers, and she was his. He was the safest place she had known.
He was home.
Without a word, Anakin gathered her into his arms, carefully, reverently, as if she were made of sacred things. He held her like she was the only truth he’d ever known, the only fight that ever mattered.
And in that moment, with her curled against his chest, with her tears soaking his tunic and his heartbeat steady against her ear…
The galaxy could’ve ended, and neither of them would have noticed.
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I have next week off and I've been going through my Google docs thinking I should work on another game idea - I've stalled on an ongoing project because I want to move away from Unity, but I need something smaller to do to try and get my feet under me with Godot. I have a bunch of half-ideas that I was messing with, trying to come up with something that could be done in a week, and suddenly today I got hit with a really stupid but simple fangame idea that I wrote a whole plan for in like an hour. So. Maybe I'm doing that.
#god it's. really stupid but it is making me laugh and it should be simple enough to learn the basics of godot with#im lucky in some way that i haven’t sunk a ton of time into unity that i now have to abandon#and godot can also use csharp for coding so it shouldn't be too challenging to learn#but it's still a bummer. it felt like a big victory when i finally wrapped my head around how unity works and now i have to do it again#(unity's new monetization stuff would probably never affect me)#(but they threw away a lot of goodwill. they made it very clear that they don't care about their userbase)#(and godot is open source so it will always be possible to use some version of it for free)#j rambles
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