#maddy’s thoughts (taken straight from the brain)

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Choose your gender:

Pokotho

Bliklotep

T’noy Karaxis

Nibblenephim

Wiggog Y’wrath

Dirty girl

Dirty dude

Nerdy prude

A literal monster

Nighthawk

Rendevoos

Skeleun

The Barbecue Monologues

Ma barbecue!

IM NOT A LOSER (Richie edition)

Gerald (who went on a murdering spree)

Ziggy (who certainly doesn’t love killing)

Excuse me? How dare you

Petes goddamn hot chocolate

Fuck you Clivesdale

A ghost

Lin Manuel Miranda

(I am) Dan Reynolds

Donna

[starlit-crossing]

Lost in Foster (Working Title) Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Flying Solo

---

Danny had lost track of the time quickly after beginning to fly, his stress ebbing away with the landscape that spend by. He tried to focus on the grass, the roads, the horizon, anything but what had just transpired. Every time his mind wondered; he would be reminded that he needed to not feel. His friends' face as he took off — nope, not thinking about it. How worried Jazz would be — what a really cool tree I just passed. His parents’ confusion and not getting to say goodbye to anyone — that is a lot of white vans up a head. Wait… Danny stopped midair above a state highway. Similar to a police barricade, white vans, jeeps, and motorcycles were stationed in the middle of the street. Guys in White were stopping the passing cars, scanning them, then letting vehicles through the state border. Lines were beginning to form and angry honks floating up to him. This isn't good… Danny fished for his burner phone, feeling for the metal at the bottom of his backpack. Digging it out, the clock read 12:45. He had left Casper high during lunch, which had been around 11:30, and he had left Amity around 11:40. Good to know it takes less than an hour for the Goons in White to make a move. He floated closer to the cars to see if anyone had a Wi-Fi spot open. I should've grabbed the Fenton GPS from the emergency OPS center, finally a Wi-Fi signal popped up under the name __Not_The_FBI__. Danny choked on a laugh as he pulled open his map app. He was going to need to avoid every joke and pun on this trip, or he was a dead man. Well, a deader man… wait! Bad brain! He yelled at himself. He had to be less than a five-minute flight from Chicago. Zooming in, he looked for a train station or a ferry… and there was a train station used for hauling cargo from the US into Canada.

“Perfect!” Danny exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air, only to hit something metal. Turning, Danny watched as a pristine white drone steadied itself in the air. Its camera focusing on him.

“Shit.” Danny turned to watch as the men below froze, then look to the sky. Spotting him immediately, he just waved as they began to take aim. Turning invisible and speeding away as round after round of ecto blasts lit up the sky. Nice going Fenton, he berated himself flying towards Chicago; I have two things I can't do: express emotion and use powers publicly. I've already done both! Like he thought it hadn't taken long to reach the station, gravely rails and signs directing conductors were sprawled throughout. He found an empty car, checked for any passerby, and phased inside. A flash of light leaking through the cracks as he returned to his human self. The darkened car was cold, with metal walls and doors. The floor was a kind of embossed metal, a crisscross pattern embellished the sheet metal.

“I should've brought a book or something.” he laughed tiredly to himself… “Damn it!” Danny yelled, banging his head on the car wall. It's probably best if I just sleep, I'll be over the state border by the time I wake up. He thought to himself, settling into a corner. Propping his backpack to use as a pillow, the cold had no effect on him as he drifted to sleep.

---

It had been a little over an hour since Danny had gone on the run. Sam and Tucker had decided to skip what was left of school and head straight home. It would be difficult to catch up with him, but they had to at least try, and every second that passed was a second wasted. They didn't have anything in mind for Danny being tracked so easily, but they would figure something out. They had to.

When Sam got home, her house was surrounded by GIW agents. Her parents stood at the door listening to a panicked Jack and Maddie. As she pushed her way to the front, she was able to make out some of what Danny's parents were saying.

“Please! Just let us make sure Phantom didn't leave anything here. Anything could be a clue to where he took Danny!” Maddie cried, Jack stood by her as she pleaded, an arm around her shoulder. Her parents shared a pained look as they tried to decide what to do.

“Maddie, we know your situation with ghosts is important. To your career and with your family,” her mother started softly, remaining in her polite and cheery tone. “But we can't risk involving Sammikins more than your son already has.”

“Not to mention when we let you search our home earlier during that wild goose chase! Left a large mess that our house cleaner had to pick up.” Her father chimed in, annoyed.

“We understand that, but we need every clue we can! Sam!” Jack shouted, seeing her as she entered the path leading to the door.

“Sammy get inside! You don't need to be pestered by agents as well.” Her dad called, ushering her inside the large house.

“Same, please! Have you heard anything from Danny? Is he with Tucker?” Maddie called, fighting the door as her mother tried to close it. Sam tried to calm down, closing her eyes and slowing her breath. Key word being tried.

“No! I haven't and neither has Tucker! So just leave the two of us alone and don't you dare try storming his house too!” she hollered, shoving the door fully closed. She sighed back sliding against the door.

“That's right Sammikins! Just because they risked their family with ghosts doesn't mean they can risk ours!” Her mother cheered.

“And sorry, Sammy, the house cleaner couldn't get to the second floor today, so your room's still a mess.” Her dad added.

“It's fine, dad. I'll clean it myself. Can I… Can I just be alone for a bit? Stressful day and all.” Sam mumbled, making her way upstairs.

“Of course, sweetie!” they answered, leaving Sam with herself. Once her parents were out of sight, she ran up the stairs. As she entered her room, she looked at the damage caused by the aforementioned goose chase. It looked like a storm had blown through, her bed and desk had their contents thrown about. Anything related to Danny had been pulled out. Ignoring the mess, she pulled over a chair to her closet and felt for the backpack taped to its ceiling. Once down she poured out its contents mentally checking everything was still there. Her clothes? Check. Money? Check. A letter? Sam pulled out the simple envelope that made an appearance in her bag. It was addressed to her, the whole thing crisp and clean. Inside a piece of notebook paper full of Danny's handwriting, nothing looked rushed, and it seemed he had prepared these in advance.

*Ring* *Ring*

Tucker’s face lit up her phone's lock screen, she answered the video call while reading the letter.

“Sam! Did you get home safe? I heard the GIW were swarming your house. Did you find a letter?”

He blurted, the room behind him burring as he moved.

“I'm fine, and I did. Did you get one too? Why would Danny write these?” She flipped the page to see if there was more, a hint to what he was thinking.

“I did, that was why I called you. Does yours say the same thing. Well, maybe not the exact same.” He rambled, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Shut up, Tuck! He wants us to stay in Amity? To abandon him and protect the town that barely cares he's here?” She exclaimed. Tucker nodded along from the camera.

“I know right? He's our best friend, we can't just let him be on the run!” Tucker ranted, “Can we? I mean, I know where he's coming from. We can't really trust his parents or the GIW to keep ghosts out. Valerie can handle her own, but she still hates ghosts. It will be hard for her to leave the neutral ones alone.”

“I don't know, Tuck, Danny even said we could tell Valerie his secret if things got out of hand and became too much for us and Jazz. I don't think he plans on coming home, at least not anytime soon.” she contemplated; there had to be something they could do. “What about other heroes?”

“What? What would they do?” Tucker asked.

“I'm not sure, I know we don't really keep up with stuff outside of Amity, but the Justice whatever works with the government, right? We could tell them our local hero is being unjustly hunted.” Sam suggested pacing the room.

“Sam, what will they find when they look into Phantom? That he's a wanted criminal, robbing banks, and threatening mayors? The media doesn't shine Danny in a good light.” He countered.

“But those can be explained, the GIW have files on Freakshow.”

“Didn't Danny wipe his memories with the Reality gauntlet? They couldn't get the whole truth, or they would learn his brain has been messed with through magic or martians.” They went back and forth.

“Then what do you propose we do? We can't track him down without others noticing.” Sam huffed in defeat.

“We'll just have to do what he asked of us. We'll watch over the town, if Valerie gets out of hand, we'll offer our help first. Say we helped Phantom with ghosts, Danny included. We can say Danny is protecting Phantom even now, and it will buy us some time to see if she can handle Danny's secret.” Tuck finished.

“She trusts Danielle, right? We might be able to convince her.” A moment hung in the air between the two friends. The reality settling in that they may never see their friend again. “Where is Danielle? She might get caught in the crossfire of this, being a clone and all.” Sam wondered.

“She's in Italy last I checked, I'm glad I gave her one of my old phones before she left the US.” Tucker answered.

“That's good… Which of us is telling Jazz?"

---

The train started to move shortly after Danny fell asleep. Four hours passed before Danny's body forced him awake, ghost hunting had ruined his sleep. He could hear Jazz's voice in his head talking about the importance of sleep for teens today. He checked the burner for the time and saw the numbers 6:05 glowing back at him. Pulling open the map he saw he had made it to Indiana, finally.

“Time to get moving, I guess.” As he spoke, he focused on keeping his voice even. The events of earlier, still fresh in his mind. The sound of the car's rolling wheels echoed in the empty car as he stood. Stretching to pop his back. He stuck his head invisibly through the train door, seeing the cargo station grow closer. Bringing his head back in, he readied to slip off the train. Steadying himself as the train arrived, opening the door, and running through the train yard as fast as he could without getting caught. It had been easier than expected, no one cared, as the teen bolted through the gravel-filled rails with ease. Once outside, he went searching for food. A mini mart was on the corner and a King Burger across the street. He couldn't risk lingering, so he made way for the minimart. The convenience store felt dated with white walls and neon signs, the floor was black and gray checkered tiles. Grabbing some water bottles, bags of jerky, and some premade sandwiches. The many sweets and freezy drinks were tempting, but the longer the food could last, the better. The place was deserted, only the clerk scrolling on his phone could witness he was ever there. After finishing his resource gathering, Danny went on the hunt for a gray hound bus stop, it would be the easiest way to get around without drawing too much attention. Looking for the longest possible route to the East Coast, he was left with two options: Gotham or Metropolis. Both had international ports and superheroes that protected them. He had always meant to look into other heroes more, find some inspiration or role models for hero work, but with ghosts constantly attacking the town and homework, he just didn't have time. Mr. Lancer tried to keep class interesting by referencing the things happening on the global news. Now if he could only remember what he had said about the heroes protecting the cities. Danny had actually perked up when Lancer mentioned that one was an alien with super hearing and other abilities. Aside from that, all he could remember was their names, Batman and Superman. I'm feeling a lot better about my hero name. He would have to give Amity News a break about Invis-O-Bill. Between the two, he was pretty sure Superman was the alien. Sam had done a report on meta-human rights and had gotten very passionate when she discovered that they didn't reference the ecto acts whatsoever. She had been so sure that someone would shed light on the act, accounting it to being unknown meta-humans being unjustly removed of their rights. A point she got stuck on was that Batman had all but banned metas from Gotham. Stating they should seek sanctuary elsewhere due to the antics of his villains. It had something to do with gas, scarecrows, and clowns? So, he could either go to the city where no powers were allowed, or the city protected by a super-hearing alien. The GIW might expect him to go to an alien for sympathy or to overshadow him in a power grab. Gotham seemed like the safer choice, even with the high amounts of criminal activity they seemed to have. He would be able to fight off most thugs without causing serious damage, humans can't normally through a guy through a brick wall like ghosts can. No one would question him being alone and sneaking around, he'd use his powers to get on a boat for Europe and keep a low profile while he searched for Danielle. He'd fill her in on what was going on, send a message to Sam and Tucker that he was safe, and wait to hear what was happening in Amity. So, Danny waited in line and got his ticket for Gotham. The bus was crowded full of people trying to do the same as him; to take a bus as far from one's old life as possible. He was able to grab a seat towards the back, settling into the stained fabric seats. His backpack between himself and the wall of the bus window. Settling in for the longest stretch of his journey out of the country.

Hello and welcome again! I hope everyone is enjoying the story. It’s been very exciting getting to see everyone’s comments and enjoyment for the fic. Don’t worry about the lack of Bat family, I am getting their as fast as I can. I wanted to revisit Amity a little bit to wrap up a few loose ends. I’m not sure at what point in the DP timeline I am placing this, but it will most likely either be prefinal of the show or post A Glitch in Time. Two very different time periods but both work with the general DC timeline I am using. As for the Bat family I’m more familiar with the characters themselves than the canon timeline. So, I’ll primarily be referring to the Batman: Family Adventures for the family and Young Justice for world events such as meta-humans.

I spent a lot of my time working on this listening to the Epic: Underworld Saga musical concept and got stuck on the song No Longer You. It’s so good and feels like it could fit Danny in some aspects if you go for a post A Glitch in Time ghost king Danny. Might draw something if I got time.

See you next week, byee!

Master post - Chapter 2 Prev. <<< Next >>>

[homerforsure]

Okay so for April's writing prompt in the 911 discord server, we had Buck & Chim — Buckley-Han Family on a Spring Day and this spilled out of my brain. It is deeply silly, but I tried!

Operation Easter Bunny

If Buck knew he was going to be reduced to bending forward and trying to ring the doorbell with his nose, he would have told Chimney to pick up his own damn takeout. His arms wrapped around three (three!) enormous, heavy, paper bags, one of which was almost definitely leaking something delicious all over the front of him. With his own bag in his hand, he couldn’t get even a finger free to push the button without risking everything toppling over, so Buck clutched everything tightly to his chest and leaned in, just managing to hit the doorbell with his face. 

“Ow,” he said, wrinkling his nose as the pleasant chime rang out inside the house (one of four dozen rotating sounds available on the doorbell that Maddie and Chimney had picked out. Buck had never imagined the sheer number of decisions that would be involved in refinishing a house. Doorbell sounds!) and standing up straight again…

Only to find Chimney already standing in the open door with a smirk on his face. 

“Dick.”

“What’s the password?” Chimney asked. 

“Let me in before I drop your egg rolls,” Buck groused.

Chimney laughed, but he pushed open the screen door wide enough that Buck could catch it with his shoulder and make his way inside. 

“You could have just made two trips.”

“I’m efficient.”

“That’s one word for it,” Chimney said. He reached out and grabbed one of the heavy bags from Buck’s arms and led the way to the kitchen. “Look out for baby debris. I put most of it away, but I think it spawns.”

Picking his way carefully through the house, keeping an eye out for Jee’s toys (and for random shoes, her new favorite toys), Buck followed after Chimney. Groaning dramatically as he finally set his bags on the counter, he said, “What did you even order all of this for? I thought the whole idea was that Maddie and Jee were going to be out all day.” There was nothing on his shirt, thankfully. Whatever moisture he thought he’d felt must have just been condensation from the hot containers inside. He set his other bag, a present for Jee, on the counter with the others and made a mental note to hide it before Maddie got home. 

“You’re kidding, right?” Chimney replied, pulling plates and forks out of his cupboards. It took a few false starts before he got them. He and Maddie hadn’t quite settled on a home for the dishes yet. Except for the wine glasses. They’d needed those to be in easy reach throughout the whole process. “I’m not risking my life by ordering from your sister’s favorite Chinese place and not getting enough leftovers for her.” 

“Yeah, but, this is like… leftovers for six.”

“Well, I invited a human garbage disposal over for lunch so I thought I’d err on the side of caution,” Chimney said, pressing a plate into Buck’s chest. “Load up, Uncle Buck. We’ve got a big project ahead of us.” 

Right, the project or Operation Easter Bunny as Chimney had taken to calling it in the family group chat. With Jee-Yun officially old enough to hunt down easter eggs, Maddie and Chimney were excited to start the first of many traditions in their new house. Buck was pretty sure there was a little more to it than that for Maddie, who was still hesitant about overly formal, overly perfect holiday plans, but who also held tight to every first she still got to have with Jee and Chimney just wanted to make sure that both of them had a perfect day. 

“So no pressure,” Buck had said, looking skeptically between the two of them at a dinner in mid-March. 

“None at all.”

“Why would there be pressure?” 

Still, one thing had led to another and soon they were staring down Easter weekend without a single Peep or chocolate rabbit purchased and with the homemade family brunch Maddie had been talking about rapidly devolving into a store-bought quiche and microwave bacon. She put a few window clings up and tried to get an Easter basket started, but with an inquisitive toddler underfoot, it was proving impossible. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Chimney had promised when he found the two of them buried in biodegradable easter grass and Jee’s basket barely hidden from her under a quilt. And on Saturday morning, he’d called Buck. 

“I did the basket after they left,” he said as he and Buck piled their plates high and each grabbed a beer from the fridge. “So that’s in the top of our closet and hopefully she doesn’t find her way in there while we’re sleeping. 

“Or learn how to use a ladder,” Buck added. 

“Hey do not think about teaching her that. The stairs are bad enough.” Jerking his head toward the back door, Chimney said, “I’ve got the rest of the stuff out here. It was the only place I could think to hide it.” 

Buck was about to ask if Chimney was living with a toddler or a secret agent, but the question was quickly overwhelmed by a dozen others when they stepped out onto the patio. “Whoa,” was all he could manage to say. 

An uncountable number of easter eggs spilled out of plastic bags on and around the new picnic table that Buck and Eddie had just helped Chimney move in the previous weekend. Giant ones, mini ones, sparkling ones, and neon ones. There were other bags too, filled with vanilla wafers and veggie straws and other baby-safe snacks that Buck could only assume they were going to use to fill the eggs. 

“Did Maddie really want us to fill all of these?”

“What do you mean? She bought all of them. Of course she wants us to fill them. I was thinking Divide and Conquer,” Chimney said, finding a mostly empty spot to set his plate down in. “You can fill them and I’ll hide them around the yard.” 

“Uh, are you sure the yard is big enough?” 

As if thinking about it for the first time, Chimney took in the pile of eggs and the spring green of the backyard and tilted his head. “Maybe we’ll put some in the front too. I’ll text Maddie and tell her to pull Jee’s hat over her eyes before she brings her in from the car.” 

“Yeah, but-”

“Pipe down and get to work, Buckley. We don’t have much time.” 

The order had a hint of Interim Captain Han about it so Buck didn’t bother to argue. He grabbed a bag of eggs so he had a place to put his own plate and then got to work. 

*

Two hours later, the patio was more of a mess than they started and Buck’s fingers were nicked from getting caught in a dozen slightly deformed plastic eggs that didn’t want to stay closed. The yard was more egg than lawn and Chimney still had two buckets of filled eggs that had to go somewhere. 

“You think I can hang some from the trees?” he asked, staring at the pile and the four eggs he was already holding in his hands with dismay. “She can see them up there, right?”

“Not unless you want me to teach her how to use a ladder.” 

“This is too many eggs. What was Maddie thinking?” 

“Don’t ask me. You’re the one living with her,” Buck replied, around a mouthful of wafer. 

The sound of a car pulling in the driveway brought an expression of panic to Chimney’s face and he started trying to shove the eggs into his pockets and down his shirt. “No! No, no, no. She wasn’t supposed to be back until six!”

“It’s six-fifteen.” 

“Hide these!” Chimney shouted, picking up the buckets and shoving them at Buck. Eggs shook free as he did, falling to the cement patio and splitting open, scattering cookies and candy everywhere. 

“Hide them where?” Buck asked. “You used up all the lawn!”

“Anywhere!” 

“We’re home!” Maddie’s cheerful voice called from inside the house. “Someone saw Uncle Buck’s truck in the street and can’t wait to say hi!”

“Uh, Uncle Buck went home!” Chimney called back as Buck held up his hands and the buckets in a “come on” gesture. “He had to walk because he got very very drunk, but he’ll be back tomorrow. So there’s no reason to come out to the yard!”

“Howie?” 

“I’m not here either!” Chimney shouted. “Daddy’s on vacation. No toddlers allowed. No. Stop! Don’t look!”

He flung his arms and legs out wide like a starfish and planted himself in front of the back door, eggs falling out of his clothes as he did. 

“You went on vacation without me?” Maddie asked, appearing in the doorway without a baby on her hip. 

Chimney deflated, dropping his arms, “Where’s Jee-Yun?”

“Trying on your slippers in the living room. What’s happening out here?”

“I think I’m getting easter egg elbow,” Buck answered. “Is that a thing?” 

“It’s not a thing,” Chimney said. 

“Are those-” Maddie frowned, opening the door to join them on the patio and get a better look at the yard. “Did you hide all of those eggs?” 

With a sad sigh, Chimney said, “No. Not even close. Maddie, I know you wanted to make this special, but there’s just no way we can hide them all. We’d have to spread them out all over the whole neighborhood and you know I’d do that, but I just don’t think Jee’s got the attention span to-” He stopped, noticing the way that Maddie bit her lip to keep a smile from escaping and then looked again at the mess he and Buck had made of the yard. 

“You didn’t actually want us to fill all of them, did you?”

Maddie shook her head and said, “They were on sale. I thought we could use some next year and some of them are always broken and, I don’t know. They were really cute. I didn’t want to choose.”

Coming in closer so she could take Chimney’s face in her hands and plant a kiss on his lips, Maddie added, “But I love how much you love our daughter. We are both so unbelievably lucky to have you.” 

“I’m lucky to have you too.”

“Okay, but what do we do with,” Buck lifted the buckets again. “All this? Because I don’t really think they’ll keep until next Easter.” 

With a shrug, Maddie said, “Take them to work? I’m supposed to bring something for the dispatch pot luck anyway.” 

“I’m sure Cap will be thrilled if I hide some of these on the engine.”

“Hey, it could come in handy,” Buck said, cracking open a yellow one and eating another cookie, somehow without dropping either of the buckets. “Having a stash like this on back to back calls. It’s better than protein bars.”

The smile Chimney gave him meant nothing good for Buck as he pulled the few remaining eggs out of his pockets and dropped them in the buckets that Buck was holding and said, “That’s a great idea. Why don’t you gather all these up so we can take them in? Just leave like one or two dozen for Jee to find in the morning.” 

“Hey wait-”

“Did you get extra Chinese food for me?” Maddie asked. 

“Please, have I ever let you down before?” Chimney replied. 

“Guys!” 

The screen door slammed shut over the rest of Buck’s protests and he sighed as another egg rolled off into the grass. 

“They are on their own for Halloween,” he huffed to himself, grabbing another egg to munch on. 

[bubblegumbeech]

My first Phic Phight fic!

For @ecto-american’s prompt

His name was Danny.

That was the first thing he knew for sure was true, when he had first woken up it was what everyone called him, and it fit just fine, wasn’t something off or uncomfortable so he let it settle over him before he tried to speak.

His voice didn’t come at first, and it hurt to try so the nurses made him promise to take it easy for now, to sit back and listen. So he did.

He listened as the people around him spoke at length about how much they missed him, about how they couldn’t wait to get him home again, about how glad they were he’d survived.

The loudest and most talkative of the people that visited him and called him Danny, was a large man in an orange jumpsuit that went on long enthusiastic tangents that Danny had long stopped paying attention to. He was almost always with a smaller, authoritative woman named Maddie, who insisted He call her Mom. They told him they were his parents.

They told him they loved him.

And then they told him everything else.

The first time Danny remembered something it was with excitement, he was still in the hospital room and between the visits from the men in the starched white suits, his parents, and the doctor, he had been wrestling with the feeling that something was missing.

It had only been when Maddie had finally taken off the hood and goggles of her jumpsuit had Danny gotten a flash of familiar red hair and asked, “where’s Jazz?”

His heart buzzed at the question, sure, so sure that it would get answered, that he had remembered something.

But both Jack and Maddie had just looked at him, disappointed, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask again.

Eventually, once the doctor declared him competent and unlikely to slip back into his coma, his parents had taken him home.

There were streamers all over the house and a giant party banner that read “Welcome Back” in thick black lettering and Danny forced out a small smile as he looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. Maddie walked up behind him and he flinched, his body acting before his brain could catch up.

She had frowned at his reaction, and when Danny, stuttering, tried to apologize she said it was okay, and with a tightlipped smile, she pulled him into a hug.

He forced himself to relax, frustrated with himself. This was his mother, there was no reason for his instincts to be so afraid. Jack had joined the hug and eventually Danny found himself relaxing for real, sure maybe getting his memories back was a slow uphill climb, but at least he wouldn’t do it alone.

Eventually his parents let him go and told him he was free to walk around the house and reacquaint himself with it. His room was the first door on the left upstairs, the bathroom was down the hall and the basement, apparently, was off limits.

So Danny went upstairs into his room. It looked something like a teenager’s room he supposed. There were the posters hung haphazardly on the walls and they were torn at the corners as if someone had ripped them all off the walls before hastily taping them back up. The bed was made too, and there was a lot less dust than he was expecting after being gone for a whole month.

In fact, it looked like he’d cleaned and organized the whole room before he’d fallen into his coma and Danny didn’t know why, but that thought set him on edge. Maybe he was just an organized person?

It was just… he didn’t feel very organized.

He kept looking around. There was that feeling that something was missing, something important to him, and he walked over to the nightstand by his bed. Placing a hand on the polished wood Danny fought the flash of a model spaceship that appeared in his memories. It wasn’t here though and Danny frowned. Was that something else he’d thrown away and simply forgotten?

Shaking his head Danny headed back downstairs, maybe he should just ask Jack, er, his dad? He should really get used to calling them mom and dad. But before he headed down he went to the room across from his and knocked.

Maybe he was being foolish, but he had expected someone to answer, had a name even come to mind. When no answer came he opened the door himself only to find a storage room, nothing but shelves and boxes and Danny scolded himself for the painful ache he felt in his heart.

It was another week before Danny had another memory, and just like the last two, it didn’t fit quite right. Like a piece from another puzzle jammed where it shouldn’t fit. So he’d asked Maddie.

“Sam?” she’d said, a carefully blank look on her face, “Oh! I remember Sam, she was an old friend of yours you used to talk about her all the time. Shame she moved away.”

And just like that, he’d had his answer as ill fitting as it was. Sam was a girl he knew that moved away, the memory he’d had, of her crying face screaming at him to stay awake just stay awake damnit, was probably from a long time ago. The pain he felt in his chest -just to the right of his heart- at the thought of her not being near and that he’d probably never see her again? That was nothing important.

It was another couple of weeks of sleeping in that house, waking up and going downstairs to eat with his parents, to chat about memories he didn’t have and tell stories he never resonated with, before he woke up screaming for the first time.

Maddie had instantly run into his room, Jack not far behind and Danny scrambled away from them both. His mind filled with images of painful green light and the ominous glint of red goggles twisting his reflection in their lenses as they looked down on him.

His parents had pushed past the barrier of pillows and blankets he’d made and pulled him into their arms, rocking him and shushing him until eventually he’d tired himself out from crying and fallen asleep again. The nightmares returned.

Eventually Danny stopped asking questions about his memories.

Either they were incomplete, fragments of something real that had been twisted in time, or they were wrong entirely, figments of his own active imagination. He’d never had a sister, they insisted. It was his mother, Maddie that had stayed up late some nights to help him with his homework and bake him safe, edible cookies as a reward. Tucker was a kid he knew at school, yes, but he’d moved away years ago and they hadn’t spoken in person since.

He had blue eyes, when he looked in the mirror, not green.

It was frustrating, being unable to trust himself- his own memories. If it was anything more than broken, incomplete fragments he’d have argued, insisted they were real.

But then again, he also had memories of Maddie leaning over him, scalpel in hand to cut away at his flesh. And he knew that couldn’t be true; the woman that smiled every time he came downstairs, called him sweetie and kissed him on his forehead every night, wasn’t the monster in his dreams. She couldn’t be.

So he ignored them.

He ignored the moments of instinct when Maddie or Jack went for a hug or a kiss and he flinched, ready for an attack. He ignored how he never seemed able to give a straight answer when they asked about his day, even if he hadn’t done anything interesting at all. And he ignored his nightmares, stuffing towels under his doorframe to muffle the sounds of his screams. There was no reason to keep waking up his parents like that.

But no matter how much he ignored, he compartmentalized, or he forced himself to smile, to hug back, and to spend time bonding with his parents, he never felt safe. Maddie insisted that he was, of course she did, this was his home. But even as he smiled and agreed and let her hug him again, he wanted to leave.

This time his dream wasn’t a nightmare. No scary, well lit labs with beakers and glowing buttons, or disgusting, painful flowers shoved into his mouth. Instead there was the ticking of clocks, rhythmic and constant. A gloved hand gently soothed his hair back, and Danny’s fear seemed so far away.

It was the first full night of sleep he’d had since he’d gotten “home”.

That morning he’d asked for an analogue clock. His parents had been confused, but they acquiesced easily and took him to the store to pick one out. The one he’d ended up choosing was a large ornate antique with little clockwork gears and a loud tick. He was excited to put it up in his room, right above his bed.

He slept better after that, and some of the tension that had been building in the house eased.

His dreams were still mostly nightmares, attacks by inhuman ghostly figures were the most prominent. But they didn’t leave the same bitter aftertaste, fear and uncertainty as the ones with the table, the scalpel, and the round, red goggles.

But now they were interspersed with better ones, fuzzy hugs and fields of blinding white, sitting in a garden pruning flowers as a soft, familiar voice gave him instructions, playing video games as the player character, confident and excited with a familiar presence at his back. And his favorite ones, the ones in the clock tower with the hooded figure and his soft smiles. The ones where he felt safest.

The ones that couldn’t be real, not if what his parents told him was true.

The next time they went out as a family after that Danny had wanted to go to a garden, and while at first Maddie was hesitant, Jack had insisted the great outdoors were perfect for helping him recover properly. Danny had been thrilled and hugged both of them in thanks, their answering smiles were soft and Danny had the thought that it had been some time since he’d seen those smiles reach their eyes.

Danny had a video game he apparently liked to play called Doom, and he was pretty good at it, judging by the level of his character. When he tried to message either of the two friends he had on his contact list though, the game glitched and his info got deleted. Frustrated he tried to reboot the system but the game itself had somehow gotten corrupted and there was no hope in recovery.

Just another thing that was apparently important to him that he’d destroyed or couldn’t find.

The worst was the time he woke with Maddie sitting next to him in his bed, she had a troubled look on her face and he didn’t know what it was he’d done wrong. Had he screamed in his sleep without knowing it?

“Danny honey,” she had said, looking over to him but not meeting his eyes, “do you remember what you dreamed about?”

He’d answered no, he hadn’t, which was mostly true. The only thing he really remembered about his dream was the feeling of safety and the ticking of a clock.

It took a month for Danny’s parents to feel comfortable leaving him alone in the house in order to go to work. He watched them walk out the door, fending off forehead kisses and muttered reassurances that they’d be home soon to check on him and that he should call if he needed anything, anything at all.

Once the door clicked shut however, the smile dropped off of Danny’s face and he set his eyes on the one thing he’d wanted… no, needed to do since he had that first nightmare.

He went to the basement.

The feeling of going down the stairs stumbled over a vague, blurry memory and Danny felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. This was just to be sure, just to prove to himself that all those dreams, all those nightmares he’d been having since his parents brought him home, were just that, nightmares.

He opened the door at the bottom of the stairs, confused when there was no lock, no resistance at all. Hadn’t they said he was banned from being down here? Why wouldn’t they lock it? Even Bluebeard locked the door his wife wasn’t supposed to enter.

The basement was…

A basement.

There were no spooky ominous beakers of strange and unrecognizable fluids, no haphazard lab equipment lying around without safety devices, nothing sterile or blinking and there was certainly no large metal table to strap someone down on.

It was just a normal basement with boxes and a desk, some chairs, a couple of old pieces of random furniture and Danny let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. This meant that Maddie was right, they really were just nightmares, probably some subconscious latent fear of going home with strangers that he couldn’t remember. That was all.

So why did he feel disappointed?

The next week was full of Danny waiting for his parents to leave before exploring the house more thoroughly. More than once he’d gotten caught in a half remembered routine that didn’t actually fit with his surroundings. Like bracing for a fight every time he opened the fridge, or expecting another flight of stairs after the second floor. Once he’d even risked going outside for a walk, trying to find his school based on half remembered directions that only served to get him lost.

It was a new routine that Danny found himself thankful for.

Not that he didn’t love his parents, he did! But for some reason, when they were gone, and it was just him with his space posters and his ornate ticking clock, and the piles of modified schoolwork that was supposed to help him when it was time to reintegrate into school, he felt a lot more relaxed. More carefree.

That was why, when he’d found the picture, it had felt like his world had crashed around him.

His parents had come home to find him sitting in the middle of the basement, tears long dried, and with the picture clutched tight in his hands, crumpled now with how long it had been.

“You lied to me.” he accused once they were within earshot. He didn’t have the energy to speak much louder than a whisper, but it seemed to echo in the silence nonetheless.

“Danny-boy we can explain-”

“No!” Danny shouted, getting to his feet, “You lied to me .”

Jack flinched back and Maddie stepped in front of him, protective, as if somehow, out of the three of them Danny might be the threat. He growled.

“I trusted you to tell me the truth, I trusted you with my memories, memories that were lost to me . I had a sister! You had a daughter . She existed, she was real, she’s in this photo! Smiling! ” Danny couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, it was all too much. To know that the girl in his shattered memories, the one with the soft hugs and the floral scents, that baked him cookies and held him when he cried at night, was real. And that she was gone, erased by the people he was supposed to be able to trust.

He moved to storm past them, to go upstairs or maybe even outside and look up at the sky and try to make something of the twisting, knotted mess that was his emotions, his mind, his everything right now. But Maddie grabbed his arm before he could, tears spilling from her eyes.

“We didn’t want to hurt you Danny.” she said, voice soft and broken, “we didn’t want to give and then take away.”

She pulled him into a hug and Danny didn’t bother to struggle or try and break out of it, just let her cry into his shoulder as he stood there, waiting for his own tears to dry.

The next day Jack and Maddie left for work with more reluctance, neither one willing to leave Danny on his own again. But worry didn’t pay the bills and whatever it was they were doing at their job, it was clearly important. That was something Danny was starting to remember, all the things that were more important than him.

Danny went to the library this time, determined to start figuring things out on his own. His parents had said that his sister, Jazz, had died in the accident that had put him in a coma. They said they didn’t want to hurt him, or risk him not wanting to recover his memories if they were painful and that grief was difficult to deal with even without the head trauma and emotional conflict.

His parents said a lot of things, Danny was starting to realize. And almost none of it could be trusted to be true.

The first thing he did was look for a death certificate for his sister, Jazz Fenton. After hours of searching, reading every single name that existed in every obituary for this town in the entire month when his parents claimed the accident had happened.

But there was nothing. Nothing at all.

So next he looked up phone records. Any Tuckers or Samanthas he could find, but he couldn’t remember their last names at all, just what they looked like.

How they had been crying over him.

He didn’t know if he believed that they’d just moved away. Then again, it was becoming increasingly clear that he didn’t know what to believe, if he believed anything at all. By the time he’d gotten home it was late, and his parents were already there.

At first they didn’t believe he was just at the library “trying to catch up on stuff” but they calmed back down once he’d shown them his library card and snapped that if he couldn’t even do that much why did they bother bringing him back from the hospital at all.

Dinner had been a quiet affair.

It took another week of library visits and recurring nightmares of dissection tables and glowing ghostly figures that attacked him before Danny gave up on finding out anything about Sam or Tucker. But he still didn’t stop searching for Jazz.

There was something almost obsessive about his search for her, he just couldn’t let it go. He had to know where she was, and if his parents, against all odds, hadn’t lied to him about that ... Well that was something he’d have to come to terms with when he came to it, not before.

He started scouring the Internet for her name desperate to find something, anything on her. And eventually he did.

There was an old article, from at least half a decade ago, that had her picture under the title “Four Teens go Missing in wake of Fenton Investigation”.

Next to her were two equally familiar pictures. Sam and Tucker… and then Danny himself.

Scrolling, desperate to find something, anything to add up the memories he was getting into a clear picture, he began to read the article.

In wake of the Investigation into the Fenton‘s possible abuse, Danny Fenton (15), his sister Jazz Fenton (17), and two friends Sam Manson and Tucker Foley (15), have seemingly disappeared.

The discovery came shortly after Jack and Madeline Fenton were released on parol and allowed to return home to spend time with their children since no physical proof could be found of any alleged wrongdoings.

What could have caused their disappearances remains a mystery. The prevailing theory is that they were involved in a cult that may have demonized the Fenton parents due to their controversial occupation as “ghost hunters”. Another popular theory is that the children fled the results of the case, afraid of the alleged illegal experimentation. Other theories include kidnapping, witness protection, the possibility of murder, and tying up loose ends.

Will we ever discover the truth? It remains to be seen.

Ghost hunters …

Danny felt his stomach drop, a wave of nausea rolled through him and he had to fight off the urge to relive his lunch.

Experimentation?

Nightmares and half remembered memories started clicking into place, finally , and Danny couldn’t stand it. Why were the only answers that made sense the ones that hurt the worst?

Would it have been better if he’d just let it go? If his memories never returned at all? If he just kept living, eating homemade cookies and flinching from hugs until eventually the itch underneath his skin dulled and he could just be happy as he was.

He closed the tab.

There was no one home when he got there, and it gave him the chance to pack what little belongings he had that held any meaning to him at all. The motions were familiar and he had the faintest feeling he had done exactly this before.

Maybe he had.

He’d made it out the front door by the time his parents pulled into the drive.

There was the urge to run, to go back inside and hide and pretend he hadn’t been doing exactly what they caught him doing. But he was tired. He was so tired of feeling wrong and scared and uncertain and never knowing why.

So he held his head up as they got into the car and approached them with their hands raised, cautiously, like he was a wild animal they were afraid of spooking.

Was that what they thought he was?

“Danny, we can talk about this,” Maddie said, beseeching.

He met her eyes with his own. “Will you promise not to lie anymore? I don’t even know how old I am-”

“You’re fifteen son-” Jack interrupted, lying again.

“I was fifteen five years ago!” Danny yelled, his hand tightening into a fist, “I found the article! I read about the case! Five years ago.”

“Danno…”

Oh, he was crying. It was novel almost, Danny had thought he was too tired to cry, that there wasn’t anything more that could hurt him enough to create such a response and he didn’t quite know how to react to it.

He raised his hands awkwardly to scrub the tears away and stepped back, frightened, when Maddie tried to move closer to comfort him.

“Stay back! Stay back…” he looked at his hands, they were young hands, his reflection too, hadn’t changed from the picture in the article at all. Experiments. “What did you do to me?”

“It was an accident.” Jack said, before Maddie stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“We didn’t know Danny. How could we have?” She said, keeping her distance, cautious. “We tried to fix it-”

“Fix what? ” He hissed, “you haven’t told me what happened! You haven’t told me anything!”

“You!” Maddie finally snapped, tears falling heavy down her cheeks. “We were trying to fix you… but it wasn’t working and you just kept getting sicker… weaker… we had to stop.”

It was too much for her, and she turned away, leaning into Jack’s large frame as he comforted her. “We didn’t want to lose you, Danny.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You already did.”

Danny left his parents there, crying on the driveway of a house that could never have been a home. He had a clock tower to find.

[borkthemork]

Drabble Request: Anne and Marcy after her rescue

You know what, Anon? You get a 2,600 word draft as a treat. Thank you for your patience!

-----

Anne had read books before.

She wasn't the kind of person to read long-winding literature like the typical bookworms back home, but she did read whatever interested her. From magazines to comics to zoo books about bird mating dances, Anne liked stuff that had meat to it.

Give her enemies to lovers, she'd cheer at the makeouts. Give her gut wrenching biographies about surviving the Himalayas, she'd bawl her eyes out. And if one gave her story about being one's true self under the guise and acceptance of a duck instructor then she'd quack it up and never be heard from again.

There needed to be meat, drama, scenes of people kissing in the rain. Stories were all about getting punched in the gut over some random guy, and that would always be the best part!

So she had no idea why Cynthia Coven never stood out to her.

It might be because of the choppy writing style or perhaps fantasy wasn't her thing, but that didn't make sense to her. After all, she'd read anything as long as it was interesting and somehow the Coven books just…didn't stick?

Sure, Cynthia had a pet squirrel. Anne could find a squirrel at the park anytime. Cynthia had spells, curses, people with talking body parts that shouldn't be talking at all. Okay, cool — ugh, why wasn't she interested? Everything about it seemed right up her alley!

She chalked it up to preferences and moved on. 

But somehow, after all these years, the same book fluttered between the pages in her hands. And she found herself narrating, speaking the paragraphs out loud under the green canvas of her tent. 

All because the bedridden girl beside her couldn't sleep. 

It had been forty-six hours since Anne and the girls united. It felt a lot longer than that, if she wanted to be honest, but all the footing, fighting, and planning they did to get out unharmed from Andrias's castle had taken a toll on them. And for Mar-mar even more so, what with the amount of stuff that went down. A lot of explosions. Crying. Frog-on-frog violence.

So in this tent came privacy. Not enough privacy to basically stop Sprig or Sasha from barging in, but the makeshift walls were one of the most protected cliff faces inside the forests. So they were basically between a rock and a hard place.

And since Amphibia's nature became a hazard to not only the typical frog but aggro robot intruders, nothing got through as a threat in the end. Not even the huge mother frobo that she and Sash fought days prior.

Anne flipped a page.

The cold draft had slipped in and raised goosebumps on her umber skin. It almost seemed surreal that Summer started to transition out with the months passing, but the chirp of birds and the lack of cicada song had marked a new season, and now Anne shivered slightly with her narration.

Marcy's wounds needed to heal. From the remains of the stab wound to the headache to the numerous nicks upon her feet, if she didn't start sleeping then the medicine Maddie gave wouldn't come into effect anytime soon.

And if she didn't snore in the next ten minutes, Sash would have to knock her out with some sleepshroom grub saute and Anne wasn't going to let her get drugged anytime soon.

But from what was currently happening, Anne became unsure.

Marcy's eyes fluttered shut a few times. She would start drifting off at some random part in the story and then jolted back to listening intently as if nothing had happened. Nothing in the book could get her to sleep. Not Cynthia's introduction to werebeasts, her dramatic one-liners, or how she got knocked out for a minute straight from drinking a pint of Canadian beer.

Wait, could teens drink beer in Canada? Gah, that wasn't important!

What was important was that Marcy looked dead — terrifyingly dead — and no matter how much Anne tried to keep her eyes on the words, the fear clung to the recesses of her mind, asking if everything was going to be alright despite the girls' current luck streak.

That maybe this would be the last time she'd ever see Marcy alive. All because she fell asleep.

Anne leveled her voice when these thoughts struck her, and hoped Marcy didn't note the hitch in her throat or how she blinked faster to catch herself from crying.

Because Marcy was strong. She was stronger than people gave her credit for.

Anne peered down. Marcy's thumb had pressed to the side of Anne's fingers, their eyes meeting for a second; one harbored bags under her eyes, the other of worry.

"I promise I'll sleep." Her smile reached her gaze, the weariness plain on her worn out dimples and ashen cheeks. Anne might need a washcloth later. "It's been a long time since I've read the Cynthia Coven series, my brain can't help but pay attention."

"I know, Mar-mar." Anne closed her eyes for a second and let out a relaxed sigh. "Seven months can be pretty long."

"Tell me about it." Marcy's eyes lingered at the ceiling, licking her lips. "I've been so busy with everything that's been happening that I've barely caught up with the latest book."

"Yeah." Anne smiled. "You know they've got a new release out?"

She blinked. Almost as if Anne punched her in the face at that moment. "Are you serious? Aw man, I missed so much."

"Hey, it's alright. It'll be waiting for you when we get back." Besides, Anne already wrapped the edition in a lot of Christmas paper, might as well keep the surprise.

But Marcy still looked miserable. She pouted,  letting her sink more into the mattress almost comically, and Anne bit back a laugh when she groaned. "Oh man, I'm so excited, this sucks! At least tell me if Cynthia gets over the Bridge of Quintessence."

"I don't know what that means and besides, you're two books behind, why would you wanna spoil it!"

They shared a laugh and carried on. Anne missed this. She did. In between the page clips and the eagerness flowing in Marcy's voice, it almost seemed like they were back to what they once were: Two girls laughing and making fun of bad jokes, giggling at stuff that didn't make sense in the story. It almost made the worries over Andrias and her parents grow into background noise.

Almost.

Anne perked up. A question had flown past her, and now Marcy stared at her, inquiry clear in her eyes. "Oh, sorry, I zoned out a bit. What'd you say, Marbles?"

"I'm curious, Annarama."

"Curious about what?"

Marcy's eyes traveled over her shoulder for a second. Was it the fatigue? Judging from how she fiddled with her fingers, the question must've been something serious, maybe something about Andrias or what happened back in the castle.

Whatever it was, Anne readied herself as she waited.

And then:

"Is that mine?"

Anne blinked. She ogled her book, then at the bedside table with its medicinal herbs, then the Thai Go logo printed fresh on her shirt. "What's yours?"

She pointed to Anne's waist.

When Anne looked down, the realization struck her like a bat. Under the filtered sunlight, she almost forgot that the yellow jacket around her waist was there to begin with, snug and tight in that hard knot Anne tied everytime she stepped out of the house.

And somehow, it remained clean from countless dimensional hops and Super Saiyan power-ups. And now it was here. Being scrutinized by her and the girl opposite her.

With that, she started to sweat.

Right, that.

A nervous laugh burst out from her mouth, making Marcy stare at her more out of concern.

How was she going to explain that?

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot!" She rubbed her neck, trying her best to pick out the right reasons in her mind, but nothing stuck out to her. "It's a funny story actually, so funny that you'll probably forget in the morning so why not another time?"

A smile formed. "I don't know, Anne." Her eyes scrunched up too in pleasure, pressing her thumb against Anne's knuckles. "I'm all for sleeping to a comedy. Remember when we watched Borat? I laughed so hard I passed out."

"Oh, Mar-mar, that's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" She then pulled her hand away, frowning. "Unless I'm pushing you, then I'll just—"

"No, no. You're fine!" What wasn't fine was how her heart pounded against her chest. Or, that the more she tried to take a deep breath, Marcy's growing concern made her laughter sound more like an old man wheezing from an asthma attack.

Anne was about to make a dumbass out of herself and that was fine! As long as she stayed calm and explained then maybe she wouldn't feel nervous about this.

Wait, why was she nervous anyway? It was just a jacket!

Oh, she knew why.

"Okay." Anne placed the book down, trying to regain her breath. Might as well go for it. What was the worst that could happen? Don't answer that. "So you remember how I've been trying to find my way back after I got through the portal?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I didn't want to forget. Not like I would've but I thought you died and I knew taking down Andrias was the only way to avenge you and get Sasha back." Anne sharply inhaled — words speeding past her ears. "So I thought 'Hey, I'll carry your jacket so I don't forget' and I basically wore it around everyday until I finally found a way back. So…"

Marcy's stare didn't help her sweating as she spoke, giving jazz hands to finish it all off. "Here I am. Yeah."

Marcy continued to stare at her. She'd never seen her this gobsmacked before; usually she found a way to ask questions, to let her enthusiasm shine through with eager stride, but now she became a deer in the highlights. All agape. All wide-eyed.

Oh Frog, I broke her.

"Mar-mar, you okay?"

"So you wore my jacket as a reminder to stop Andrias," she asked slowly, "after months of finding a way back?"

Anne puffed out her cheeks. "Maybe?"

"Anne…"

"Okay, okay, yeah." She hung her head, defeat in her voice. "I did."

"Oh." Marcy's eyes widened to the size of saucers, a shaky exhale breaking through. "Oh."

Anne stood up. If she didn't get out in the next fifteen seconds, she was going to explode. "Okay, yep! That's it for the Cynthia Coven series! Goodnight, Mar-mar, I'll check up on you later—!"

"Wait, wait!"

Marcy latched onto her wrist. Her ears pounded on, hard to focus with her sweaty palms and the shallowness of her breath. Because this whole situation was awkward and weird and it made her feel funny things in her heart and darn it Anne should've handled this back on Earth — not while they were stuck in the middle of a Frog darn war!

"Anne, please look at me."

She did. 

When she turned, the sight surprised her. Marcy's cheeks had darkened considerably as they held each other's gazes, the hold on her arm still having them tethered to one another.

Then the touch loosened slightly. It didn't speak of fear nor did it speak of pain. It didn't speak of the desperation Marcy once had when she held her fists in the broken halls of the Newtopian castle. What Anne instead found was reassurance. A reassurance in their interlocked hands, at how they gazed intently under the tent canvas, a heat creeping well onto Anne's cheeks too.

"It's really sweet that you wore my jacket like that." Marcy then bore down at the bedding lines, almost squeaking her words. "And very clever! Yeah! Because a physical reminder is a great alternative to notebooks and to-do list, and since my jacket has emotional connotations to me, of course you'd wear it! It just makes sense."

Marcy coughed into her sleeve, words almost a whisper. "You've always been good at improvising, after all."

"Mar-mar..."

"And thank you."

Anne stopped. She could've honed in on the bustling Wartwoodians outside. Or the rustle of the forest trees. But she focused on the comforting tap of Marcy's fingers, and the gleam in the girl's eyes — almost as if Marcy was about to cry.

"You've always been kind," she murmured. Her fingers trailed circles on Anne's palms, leaving her to shudder slightly under the touch. Especially when Marcy's eyes grew half-lidded. Remorse on her lips. "And to know you worked so hard after everything I did to you and Sash, I don't how I'll ever make it up for it."

"You don't have to do that," she said. Her words drifted between them, remembering what Mrs. Wu said a few months ago: That Marcy was the best out of all of them. Because she always needed to be. "What Andrias did was not your fault, and I'll beat him again if he ever makes you think it is."

"Besides," she said, putting on a smile. "Having you beside me has always been enough. Honest."

But Marcy's grief remained on her face, unspoken as her fingers faltered their dragging on Anne's palms.

Because she wanted to hold her hand instead, both their fingers trembling from the bedridden girl's arm.

"Anne, I hurt you. I did. No matter how much I try to justify myself, I still omitted everything about what I knew." Her eyebrows furrowed, glaring more at their shaky hands. "I was selfish. I wasn't honest."

"Don't say that. You didn't know this would happen, I understand this now."

"But you're still angry." Marcy sighed. "I know you are."

The conifers rustled silently. The faraway bugs whistled, occupying each interval as they held hands, their gazes observing anything but the other. Until Anne couldn't think up a better excuse anymore.

As much as Anne tried to forgive, there was something frightening about the resentment in her skin, underneath all that warmth. It went against every lesson she learned. Every lesson of compassion. Or maybe she was just denying it for what it truly was — a tight angry wound that had reason to exist as much as their handlock. 

Her body sagged at the thought. She'd gotten so far, trying to deny anything about herself would reverse so much.

"Yeah," she said softly. "I'm still mad. I don't want to be, but I am. But that doesn't mean I was gonna leave you guys in the middle of a war." The next words were under her breath. "I never wanted you guys to get hurt in the first place."

Marcy brushed her knuckles. "Take as much time as you need."

"I think a few months is enough."

"Or a year."

A smile. "Maybe more."

And Anne held her hand until the silence heard their heartbeats. Until their smiles returned slowly, surely.

"I talked to Sasha before you came in," Marcy said.

"You did?"

She nodded. "Mhm. And I don't know if she told you this, but we both agreed to a concordance." Marcy faltered. "An agreement I mean."

Anne snorted. "You don't have to dumb yourself down around me."

"Heyy, I'm not, I just don't want this to sound...clinical."

"Right."

The younger girl shuffled closer to her, which was surprising enough with the limited room on the bed itself. But when Anne held her eyes, there came recognition of something new. Was it relief? Worry?

"What we agreed on is that you don't have to forgive us. Maybe you'll be mad at us for a long time—"

"Mar-mar, I'm not—"

"Let me finish," she said softly. Anne hesitated. She resolved to caress Marcy's knuckles instead, and, of course, she didn't seem to mind. "Whatever happens, whatever you decide, we're not going to abandon you. If you want us out of your life, we'll respect it. If you want us to stay, then we'll respect that too."

Marcy inhaled, slow and careful. 

"And when you're ready, I'll make sure to be close by."

There had been times where Anne couldn’t predict what her future held. There had been numerous moments where Anne wanted to quit, to get angry, to question how her life hit upon all these coincidences like pinball and found herself in the most surprising of situations.

But when Marcy finished, stared at her, waiting for her to let her statement sink in, everything seemed to click in place. For just a single moment.

Each word had come out resilient, well thought-out. Anne could imagine the planning so clearly: How Sasha and Marcy sat in the same positions as them, sat with their heads together as they discussed what to say. And the more Anne listened, she could only hope that Sasha was just around the corner, ready to say the same things in her own Sasha-like way.

But for now, they gripped each other's hands, squeezed their fingers until Anne could only think of the heat. The burn in her nose. Then the bit-back sob and her trembling lip as Marcy pressed a thumb carefully to Anne's cheek, rubbing the tear trail away.

Because out of everything Anne predicted to find at the other end of the portal, it wasn’t this. 

"You promise?"

Marcy smiled, the ends of her lips twitching weakly. "I promise this time." Her voice broke. "I do."

With it, came the waterworks.

[q-gorgeous]

They’re Not Anywhere

fanfiction

ao3

TUE was great and all but there are so many ways a hero can fail. Danny fails to save one person, or many, or even the entire city. What would be enough to drive him off the deep end? What would a villainous Danny sans any Plasmius influence look like? Prompt by @anthropwashere

word count: 646

this ones shorter than the rest but the brain juices are drying up

“It’s all your fault!” Danny shouted.

“My dear boy, I have no idea what you mean. Where have you been all this time?” Vlad stood up straight facing Danny as he studied his fingernails. 

“Don’t pull your bullshit Vlad. The GIW told me that an anonymous benefactor was funding the project.”

“Anonymous is anonymous. That could’ve been anyone.”

“But it wasn’t just anyone.” Danny pulled out a phone and started scrolling through news articles. “You convinced everyone that I ran away. That I ran away from home as I was dying.”

Vlad just stared at him. 

“And then if that wasn’t bad enough. You convinced everyone that Sam and Tucker ran away with me. What’d they do? Try to expose you? Try to get me out?”

Danny floated closer to Vlad’s face. “I need you to tell me where they are.”

“They’re not anywhere.” 

Danny’s face pinched at that response. “What did you do to them?”

“You wouldn’t like the answer.”

His stomach dropped and he picked Vlad up by the front of the shirt. “What did you fucking do to them, Plasmius?!”

Baring his teeth Vlad finally gave Danny the answers he wanted. “I killed those two rotten, good for nothing children. Is that what you wanted to hear? All they did was stand in my way. Once they broke into the GIW facility I paid them to experiment on those two worthless children as well.”

Danny couldn’t hear Vlad anymore over the pounding of his pulse in his ears. 

“It needed to happen in order for you and Maddie to be mine.”

Danny’s anger overflowed and he grabbed Vlad and held him up by the throat instead. “What’s left of me to take, Vlad? I’m fucking dead.”

Vlad started to talk but Danny’s grip on his throat tightened. “This is all your fault Vlad. Yours and everyone who believed you. Why would no one even come looking for us? They just abandoned us.”

Danny met Vlad’s gaze, a hot rage filling his eyes. 

“I will demolish every single person who let this happen. Starting with you.”

QQQQQ

Much of Amity Park was left in ruins. Dotted along every street was the occasional house that wasn’t destroyed, even if they were somewhat damaged, someone who had pleaded with him that they knew something was wrong. That they didn’t know how to help. They thought that the police would have taken care of it. 

There were only three houses left completely intact and unharmed. The Fenton’s, the Foley’s, and the Manson’s. They had begged and begged and begged for someone to listen to them. Their children were troublemakers but they would never just run away. They would skip class and show up home late for curfew but they always, always came home. 

Danny thinks Sam and Tucker had started organizing something because as he flew down the street confronting the A-listers he found along the way, many knew who he really was. Apologized for what had happened. Pleaded that they wanted to help break Danny out but were stopped by Sam and Tucker because it would be too dangerous. Dash nearly cried when he saw Danny and they were all spared from his anger.

Now he sat atop Fenton works, watching the destruction he caused. Feeling too torn between being sick at his actions and the satisfaction of finally getting revenge. 

Danny began to grow tired and at the edges of his vision he saw light begin to fade in. In front of him, two familiar silhouettes appeared and understanding dawned on him. He didn’t know if this light was taking him to heaven or hell or maybe some other place altogether considering what he’s just done, but he didn’t care. He just closed his eyes and let himself fade. 

Much of Amity Park was dead, just like Danny was, but it wasn’t his problem anymore.

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Quick AU where Danny stays in town during Girls Night Out

Yeah, random thoughts spring into brain. Danny is trans. I think that's enough background info. Also, Tumblr got a new post editor, so I'm betaing it right now.

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Danny was supposed to go fishing with his dad. But something came up. AKA, Vlad wanted him to go visit him without Danny. So Danny was in Amity Park when he was supposed to be having dad bonding time. What could he say? His dad got that dumb book and everything. It was gonna be epic. Except stupid Vlad had to go and ruin everything. Whatever. Dad said they would go next weekend.

The first big issue was when Tucker disappeared. And he didn't. Might've been a dumb ghost thing. So he and Sam went to find stuff out. Except all the men in town were gone. It was glaring. "I-I'm sure it's nothing Danny!" Sam said nervously. "Yeah. It's gotta have been a stupid mistake. Maybe I'm immune cause I'm half ghost," Except there weren't any male ghosts either. "Yeah, that's gotta be it!" That when they heard Ember. "OH YEAH! NO MORE PESKY GUYS! IT'S A GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!" "Yes. You know, I'm surprised that worked. I was afraid it might've been a ghost only thing," Spectra drawled. "Of course it worked. The superior gender always prevails," Kitty replied. "And that's obviously female," Every vein in his body was pounding. "I think you might've confused sex for gender ladies," Sam said patiently. "We're not having sex!" Ember laughed. "You do realize how invalidating this can feel for trans people?!" Sam shrieked back. "If they're still here, that means it's a she," Spectra grinned. That was the last straw. He ran. As fast as he could. And for a half ghost that was fast. Once he got home, he slammed the door.

Sam saw Danny run off and knew how this was looking for him. "Isn't this rich? The ghost boy is really a girl," Kitty grinned. "I'm surprised I didn't notice sooner," Spectra laughed. Ember stayed oddly quiet for someone who was normally boisterously loud.

Danny curled in on himself. Herself. NO! Don't second guess yourself. It change the fact that it hurt. "All the men in town are gone!" He heard Jazz yell. "I realize that Jazz. Thank goodness your father is out of town," Mom sighed. "Wait, but Danny isn't! I really hope..." She was standing in his doorway. "FUCKING GHOSTS!" Jazz didn't swear. She never swore. "What is it Jazz? Oh. Danny, I'm so sorry," Mom pulled him into a hug. "I'll be fine," He grumbled. "Do you know which ghosts?" Jazz decided to change the conversation. "Spectra, Kitty and Ember," "Great. Spectra is going to use this horribly," Jazz grumbled quiet enough that only Danny could hear. "Listen, we have to get the guys back first," "Wait, if you're, that means any trans women in Amity are stuck there," Mom said. "Can we not talk about that? I'm seriously not in the mood," "At least pesky Phantom won't be here to get in the way," Jazz and Danny exchanged a look. Sam came bursting in. "Danny! Okay, I am going to make them even deader than before," Sam cracked her knuckles. "I'm fine Sam. Let's just find a way to fix this," "I have an idea!" Jazz said. "No," Danny, Sam and Mom said in unison. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. Not all my plans are bad," Jazz protested. "Speaking from experience (of being trapped in a thermos way too much for one night), that is completely untrue," "What was that about thermoses Danny?" Mom said. "Jazz put soup in my Fenton Thermos!" "I couldn't tell them apart! We really need to label things," "Like with a massive sticker that say Fenton?" "All our stuff has those!" "Fair enough," Danny conceded. It was the plan if anyone caught them talking about getting trapped in thermoses. It made sense because it actually happened. "Well, since Jazz's plan is out, I opt that we figure out how this whole thing happened," Mom said. "It's a combo between Kitty and Ember. Kitty has this thing that makes men disappear into another dimension. And Ember must've used her guitar to make it cover all of Amity. If we don't get them out in twelve hours, they'll be stuck there forever," "And I will have to resign to a life of raging dysphoria," "You were gonna have that anyways," "Times ten. This won't help anyways, but it won't be all bad," "Let's stop talking about you being trans. Danny, you're staying here," Jazz winked. He knew what that meant. They would get all the men back and Danny would keep the ghosts at bay. "Okay. So, from what they were blabbing, all we have to do is get them to do it again," Sam said. Once they had a plan in place, all they had to do was implement it. They left and Danny quickly transformed. Praying that Spectra wouldn't find a way to use this against him, he sped off. "Hey! Poo faces! I'm not gone, and it semi pisses me off!" He screamed. "Oh now sweety. Why would you want to leave behind the superior gender?" Spectra said. "Because it makes me feel horrible and like I was born wrong," "You were, weren't you," Don't let Spectra sink her claws in Fenturd! "Yeah, maybe I was, but if I work hard enough I can fix it," "How is Danny Phantom still here?" He heard Paulina say. Nope, not listening. "They're all going to know. You can't do anything about that," Spectra laughed evilly. "Now girls, follow the recipe! You too now," "I'm. NOT A GIRL!" The wail was probably ill planned, but Danny wasn't thinking straight. Shit, humans. He cut himself off. "Oh come on now. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, you still have to cover parts of yourself. Don't tell me you don't wake up every morning and wish you were a real boy?" "I am. I am a real boy. I just have to take a few extra steps to get there," "Oh come on now. Stop lying to yourself. Maddie, how can you possibly call these eggs? They're green," Okay, maybe dealing with Spectra first was a bad idea. But she was also taunting his mom. Deal with Ember. She must be better than this.

So he flew to a stage. Ember was rocking out with a bunch of girls. Sam was in the background. This was probably one of the less dangerous problems. "Listen, if you're going to taunt me for the fact that I'm still here, do it already," "Hey, listen kid. I'm not actually going to taunt you. Kitty and Spectra are being complete jerks, but I'm not going to judge you for being trans," "Y-you're not?" "Heck no! I'm doing this because I wanted to have a fun night without guys. You included. I'll just have to take a few extra steps to get rid of you!" Danny dodged the guitar strum easily. "Are you planning on bringing them back at the end of the night?" "That's really up to Kitty," "I guess," Sam could deal with Ember.

Next up was Kitty. Oh great, makeup. (I honestly forget what Kitty was doing, so makeup works) "Now girls. All you gotta do is apply the bronzer like so!" "Kitty! How would Johnny feel if he knew you were doing this?" "Oh come on now Ghost girl, you can't be serious. Johnny is having a guys night in all due time," "HEY! Don't you dare. Transphobia doesn't help anyone," Jazz yelled. "Oh stop complaining. She knows she doesn't belong with the guys. From the looks of it, Spectra's already gotten to you. This'll make this so much easier,"

The plan backfired immensely. Danny and Mom were a mess, Sam didn't manage to get the guitar, and Jazz just got in a debate with Kitty. Danny, having to keep up a facade, came downstairs. "How'd it go?" "Terribly. Though, I did learn the Ghost Boy is trans," Mom said. "Fascinating," "It's, well it's oddly human. Why would a ghost even bother?" "Turns out gender dysphoria comes to the grave," "Danny, this is no time for one of your morbid jokes," Yeah, maybe it was morbid, but it wasn't a joke. "Whatever. I guess we get to use Jazz's plan," "All we gotta do is convince them that a cis guy is still in town. Like wandered in after the disappearing act," "Great plan. Sam can't pretend to be me though," "How did you know I was going to do that?" "Lucky guess,"

So that's how Jazz ended up wearing a baseball cap and a pair of men's jeans into Ember's concert. "Did we really have to use a pair of dad's jeans? These barely fit," "You know, the fact that they fit at all should be surprising. Dad was skinny at one point in his life. Which means that one of us could be on his end of the gene pool," "It's probably you," "Don't make me think about that. Hiding what little chest I have is hard enough. If I got dad's genes, I'd honestly be terrified," "We haven't seen the women on his side of the family. And besides, you got the blue eyes black hair thing," "You are honestly scaring me. Now, I gotta scram before someone sees me talking to you. Mom or the ghosts," "Fair,"

And thus, the plan worked. Kitty, adamant that no men be left in Amity, blew another kiss. Ember amplified it. The men came back. The three got thermosed. Jazz laughed at their faces when they honestly though she was from out of town. Danny once again didn't get taken, even in ghost form.

Tucker and Sam found him curled up in his bed. "Hey man. I know this has gotta be tough for you," Tucker said. "Spectra had no right!" Sam continued. "Thanks guys. But I think I'm gonna take a few days off school," The trio heard Dash's voice outside. "Hey mom. I know what happened was scary. And I know it must've felt really bad, but I still see you as my mom," "Thanks Dash. I can always count on you to make me feel better," A woman's voice rang out. Danny looked over the window sill. "See Danny. It's not horribly weird. Just a few transphobic ghosts," Tucker laughed. "A couple," "What?" Sam and Tucker said in unison. "Ember isn't," "How do you know that?" "I talked to her," "Hey Fenturd! Don't you dare tell anyone about my mom! And don't be mean to her! I'm sure you wouldn't get it," "You'd be surprised Dash!" He grabbed his trans flag and hung it out the window. "I get it more than you seem to think!" Dash's mom smiled at him. "Y-you're trans? I thought you were just a loser!" "Yeah, and I had to talk to the transphobic ghosts. So I won't invalidate your mom!" Dash stared up at him. "Holy shit,"

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Praying that this uploads, cause I've got shoddy internet rn. And I'm working on my Gravity Falls crossover fic. I just had this pop into my mind. Prolly just gonna be a oneshot. I might make another fic about Jack's side of the family later, that's connected to this one.

[eddiebodywantssome]

run away with me - buddiebingo

read it on ao3

my bingo card

Square Fill: Arranged Marriage AU

Rating: No Archive Warnings Apply

Major Tags: prompt fill, royal au, established relationship, sort of, eddie and buck have the best support systems

Warnings/Triggers: N/A

Word Count: 2574

Summary:

The Elpesto Manor Cordially Invites You to the Marital Union of Crown Prince of Elpesto, Edmundo Diaz, and Crown Princess of Hershipenzyl, Madeline Buckley

everyone thinks the princes and princesses of elpesto and hershipenzyl are preparing for eddie and maddie's wedding weekend - little do they know they're plotting something else altogether

tagging @buddiebingo ❤️ if you'd like to be tagged on my next bingo fic (dog sitter) lmk!!

fic under the cut !

run away with me

Eddie jerks awake a full hour before his alarm is set to ring. He breathes heavily, feeling his heart racing and beads of sweat start to form on his back. Outside his window, the weather looks like how Eddie feels. Grey clouds stretch across the sky, foreboding of a storm for the kingdom of Elpesto below. As he inhales the smell of rain in the air and watches lightning strike at the horizon, he can sense the anticipation brewing above. He knows the day is only going to get darker from here.

Eddie resists the urge to crawl under the covers and merge with the mattress. It’s a big day this weekend. With lots at stake. And very little margin for error.

Lord. He’s being dramatic. He’s survived combat; he can survive this.

He brushes his teeth and paces around the room for a bit, remembering the meditation techniques he was taught. Inhale, exhale, count to ten, now do it backwards, good job, Eds…

He doesn’t hear his door open and yelps when he realises there are more people in his room.

“I told you he’d be awake,” Adriana says as she climbs into his bed.

“Morning, Eddo,” Sophia says, placing a mug on his bedside table. “How are you doing on this fine, regular Wednesday?”

“Good, thanks,” Eddie smiles. His sisters have been with him through this whole ordeal, planning and bitching and keeping their parents at bay. They’re two of the only reasons he hasn’t lost his mind.

Yet. That is still subject to change.

“Are you excited for Sunday?” Adriana asks, pulling her brother onto the bed. “It’s gonna be so cool.”

“If it goes well,” Eddie corrects her. “This fucking weather’s probably gonna make shit fall apart.”

“You could say it’ll put a damper on our plans,” Adriana grins.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Sophia says as she shoves her sister onto her side. “We’ve gone over the plan a hundred times, and we’re gonna do everything to make sure it goes smoothly. The only way it won’t work is if either of you doesn’t show up.”

“Do you think that’ll happen?” Eddie asks, suddenly aware that he hadn’t even considered that as a possibility. The thought and its many variations descend upon his brain like vultures circling their prey. “What if-”

“Nuh-uh,” Adriana says, sitting up. “Don’t you dare think like that.”

She looks him straight in the eye. “Are you in love?”

“I-”

“Answer me!”

Eddie feels the blush creep across his cheeks as he nods.

“Then it’ll all work out.” Adriana pushes the mug in his hands with an air of finality. “Only put out into the universe what you want. Now, get your go-go juice in you and let’s chop-chop. There’s a lot to do.”

Eddie smiles at his sisters. His support system. His ride-or-dies. His-

He chokes on the swig he’s taken.

“This is whiskey!”

“Figured you’d need all the help you can get,” Sophia simply says. “Get dressed. They’re coming in earlier because of the storm.”

--

The walls of Elpesto Manor are covered in paintings from every corner of the globe. The king is a big art buff and deals in art trades with many museums. The Mona Lisa is currently hanging in their dining room.

The large courtyard in front of the house has portraits of all of Eddie’s ancestors in a line, the lineage of royalty greeting every MVP that stays with the family.

Elpesto Manor has been the Diaz family’s home for generations, all the way from King Salazar in 1803 to Eddie’s parents and sisters now. Eddie’s always felt like the eyes on the portraits of Diaz past are watching his every move, a realisation that makes him shift uncomfortably.

“Stand straight, Edmundo,” his father says. King Ramon is beloved by his wife, tolerated by his subjects, and mildly disliked by his children. Eddie barely remembers him being around for most of his childhood - long before he assumed the throne, he was in the army as Head of the Guard. Ramon was the crown prince, so right after his father passed away, he stepped up to rule the kingdom of Elpesto, one of the most powerful nations in the world.

Sophia Diaz is technically the crown princess of Elpesto. Then she went and eloped with a commoner, and now they only see her at Christmas and on special occasions. The title of crown prince went to the next in line, who just so happened to be Eddie, which is how we have the royal Diaz family waiting in the courtyard for his royal hand-in-marriage.

Eddie had always disliked how he was following in his father’s footsteps - from being Head of the Guard to becoming crown prince, and now, to having a marriage be arranged for him.

“This will be good for you,” Helena says. She herself was a princess from Bostonia, a political strategy to strengthen ties to the North. “Good for the kingdom. Marriage will ground you and make you a better leader.”

He never told his parents about the first one. It was a silly mistake that was never going to work out, and it wasn’t worth mentioning. That was proved when Shannon up and left him in the lurch.

He clenches his fist as he thinks about it. He doesn’t need her anymore. He hasn’t needed her for a while.

Thunder rumbles in the distance as the gate opens. Eddie straightens snd feels his heartbeat quicken.

Four motorbikes and a heavily tinted car pulls up in front of the waiting crowd. The door opens and out steps his future partner -

“Madeline Buckley, you sweet thing!” Helena exclaims.

Maddie puts up her sunglasses and grins. “Good day, Your Highness!”

“Please, I’m your new mother-in-law, call me Helena,” she says, squeezing Maddie’s hands.

Maddie laughs politely. “I don’t think so, Your Highness.”

She looks very pretty, Eddie notes. Her pink summer dress makes her stand out from the gloom around her, and her smile could power a whole town. He watches as she greets his father and sisters. She holds herself with the dignity and poise of a well-versed woman of royalty. You’d hardly think she’s a little sneak.

She turns to look at him. He looks at her. She winks.

And yet.

“I thought it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” she teases.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Eddie grins easily, placing a kiss on her cheek. Maddie has been one of his best and only friends for years, and it didn’t hurt that she was the crown princess of the second-most-powerful nation after Elpesto. When the time came for the royals to consider marriage prospects, she was top billing.

“You look beautiful,” Eddie says earnestly.

“As do you.”

“What about me?”

Eddie turns to the voice and rolls his eyes.

“Evan Buckley, right on schedule.”

Evan leans out of the window, looking unbothered by Eddie’s venom.

“Howdy, soldier,” he says. Eddie hates the way he walks: a relaxed and uncaring saunter that matches the devil-may-care look he always carries. His dirty blonde hair is gelled back, and his stubble is freshly shaven. The crisp blue shirt and tie he’s wearing are the same shade as his eyes, not that Eddie would ever notice that. He looks like a beefy Ken doll.

Evan and Eddie go way back to their early twenties when they first participated in the annual gentleman’s ball. Eddie, being naturally good at everything as he is, was the embodiment of Evan’s nightmares.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me,” Evan says. Eddie forces back another eye roll. Eddie never disliked Evan, but his attitude made being nice to him hard.

“We should move the luggage inside. The sky looks like it’s going to open up soon,” the Buckley’s head of security, Bobby, says. Eddie looks up and hears faint thunder.

“Of course. Edmundo, why don’t you show Madeline to her room?” Helena asks, but Sophia butts in.

“Actually, I’ll take her. I’d love for us to have some girl talk before your big day,” Sophia says. Maddie links their arms and blows Eddie a kiss. He pretends to catch it and ignores Evan gagging behind him.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” Eddie promises. He watches them go: Maddie and Sophia, arm in arm, tailed by one of their staff lugging two suitcases.

“Edmundo,” Evan says, his tone teasing, “will you show me to my room?”

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek. “Of course.”

“I’ll bring his luggage,” Bobby says.

They bid the king and queen goodbye, and Eddie leads them to the elevator. As it opens, Bobby checks his phone.

“I have to take this. Buck, I’ll bring up your bags in a minute.”

Evan waves him off. “Take your time, Bobby.”

The door closes on Eddie and Evan, leaving the elevator in silence.

After a second, Evan says, “So.”

“So,” Eddie replies.

“Hen says you’ve played a big part in wedding planning.

“It is my wedding,” Eddie laughs humourlessly.

Evan hums thoughtfully. “I’m not sure if I like the sound of that.” He turns to look Eddie in the eyes. “I’d hate for anything to go wrong on the day.”

Eddie smirks. He reaches out and fixes Evan’s tie. “That’s too bad because I’ve been sabotaging it in every way. It’s going to be a complete comedy of errors. For example,” he tugs on Buck’s tie to bring him closer, “I put all the security cameras in this elevator out of commission.”

Evan licks his lips. “Devious.”

“That’s only the beginning,” Eddie whispers.

“Thank god,” Buck breathes as Eddie pulls some more. The gap between them closes, and all Eddie can think of is how much he’s missed this.

Eddie pins Buck to the wall, his mouth moving to nip at Buck’s jawline. Buck runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair, his breathing quick and shallow. Eddie peppers kisses to Buck’s neck as his grip shifts from Buck’s ass to his thigh. He’s itching to claw more, to absolutely ravish Buck on the elevator floor, but they’re working on a time crunch.

“You know, if we spent less time on foreplay we’d have more of this,” Buck gasps lightly as Eddie fixes on his pulse point.

“S’okay.”

Eddie circles back to Buck’s mouth and kisses him hard. He’ll have time to do everything and more to Buck in a few days.

“Why do you taste like tres leches?” Buck murmurs against his lips.

“Ate it for breakfast,” Eddie mumbles before kissing him one last time and pulling away. Buck whimpers at the loss of contact.

“Abuela’s had a batch made especially for you,” Eddie says, combing his fingers through Buck’s hair and fixing his tie before perfecting his own. Buck grins as he stuffs his shirt back in his pants.

“God, I love your Abuela.”

The elevator doors ding open, and they step out onto the floor that houses Eddie and Adriana’s rooms and a guest bedroom. Adriana stands in front of them, arms crossed.

“Guys, that’s gross. Everyone uses those elevators,” Adriana complains. Buck rolls his eyes and pulls her in for a noogie. She grunts but escaping Buck is pointless.

“We didn’t do anything,” Eddie says, moving to fix his collar.

“I’m not stupid, Eddo. Also, can you stop eye-fucking in front of our parents? They’re gonna catch on soon.”

“I doubt it,” he scoffs.

“Enough talk, please, I want my tres leches,” Buck says, gesturing for Adriana to lead the way. As Adriana walks past them and Buck follows, he smacks Eddie’s ass and grins. Eddie can’t help but go red.

The animosity that formed at their first gentleman’s ball disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Buck and Eddie were paired up for doubles racquetball, absolutely annihilated their competition, and became best friends almost immediately. After the third ball, Buck confessed his feelings, and Eddie, overcome with emotion and confusion, ran away. Buck still holds it over him.

As Buck shovels cake into his mouth, the Diaz siblings monitor the weather.

“Heavy rains forecasted for the next three days,” Adriana announces, looking up from her phone. “Is that gonna make things harder?”

“Rain on your wedding day is a good thing,” Buck says with his mouth full. “It means you’ll last the test of time. The concept traces back to Hinduism.”

“Fascinating,” Eddie says, “but we don’t want this wedding to go well.”

“Eds.” Buck tugs Eddie onto his lap. Eddie can’t help but melt into his strong arms a little as he sits sideways on him, like he’s about to be carried bridal style.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” Buck says. “You don’t need to panic yet. Let’s just enjoy today before everything goes to shit tomorrow.”

“You’re not helping,” Eddie murmurs as he settles into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck closes his eyes. He’s been dreaming of this ever since he first laid eyes on Buck all those years ago. It’s been nine years of stolen kisses, clumsy hands in the dark, sneaking around after dark.

No more.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and Maddie, Sophia, and Chimney troop in.

“Hey, Chim,” Eddie greets. Maddie’s boyfriend waves back.

“Mazel tov, I hear it’s going down a couple of days earlier,” he says.

“What?”

“There’s an issue with the jet,” Sophia says. “You’ll need to drive yourselves. We can arrange cars.”

“Are you sure?” Buck says, his arms still protectively wrapped around Eddie’s waist. “What if we get recognised?”

“You’ll need makeovers,” Maddie admits. “But hey, it could be worse. At least you’re going to the beach.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “What? What happened to Bobby’s safe house?”

“You can’t drive across the Atlantic. So… you’ll need to hide out somewhere nearby that Elpesto and Hershipenzyl can’t touch,” Sophia says tentatively.

Eddie runs through the list of nations that aren’t in either kingdom’s good books. “That means…”

“It’ll only be for a year, max. Just give us time to get Maddie and Chimney married off and send Adriana to the Galapagos.”

“I’m telling you, once I come back with the last few dodos alive, Mom and Papi will have so much more to think about than you two,” Adriana says.

Eddie contemplates this. “LA, huh?” He can’t help but start panicking a little.

He turns back to Buck. “What do you think?”

Buck simply shrugs. “I’ve always liked the ocean. And I don’t really care where I am or what I look like as long as I’m with you.”

“Aww, gross,” Adriana’s voice sounds from somewhere behind them, but Eddie doesn’t care enough to throw something at her.

“Even if they make me go bald?”

“Even if they shave off your eyebrows.”

“We were actually just gonna make you dye your hair and wear masks,” Chimney interjects, “but your ideas sound better.”

In the seconds it took Eddie’s heart rate to pick up like he was running a marathon, Buck noticed and changed the positioning of his hands. Buck’s fingers are sweet and soothing on his spine, and Eddie can’t help but feel relaxed even in the face of total derailment of the plan. It hits him suddenly that he’s going to have this forever. Just him and Buck against the world, like they’ve always wanted. The plan was never going to go perfectly, anyway.

“Okay,” Eddie says, turning back to the little crowd. “Let’s do it.”

LA, here they come.

[slasherholic]

MADDIE... DEATHSLINGER GUNPLAY...

OKAY

synopsis: you deepthroat an evil cowboy so he doesn’t blow your brains to smithereens

warnings: dubcon/implied noncon, threats of violence

The Deathslinger x Reader | Gunplay + Blowjob

Just a few more inches. Just a few more inches. Just a few.

You reach out in front of you again, fingers splayed as they meet splintered wood, huffing as you drag yourself another inch across the floor of the Saloon. Your eyes flutter closed as puffs of unsettled dust swirl around your face. A tickle builds in your throat and you can’t stop it—pain screams through your shoulders and swells in your chest as your body seizes with a cough. The warm red seeping from your abdomen glistens like rubies on the floorboards and in the dirt. The smell of your own blood is nauseating.

Reason tells you that in fleeing from him, you are only prolonging your own torture; but your body, stubbornly, refuses to roll over and die. And so you crawl.

You tell yourself things as you crawl. Hopeful things. Maybe if you can just make it around the corner of the bar, or wedge yourself beneath the table, your death will be swift. The Entity will take you in a sharp, sudden pain—impersonal, merciful—and that will be it. You won’t be left with one more nightmare to bear at the campfire. 

Your face pulls into a grimace as your fingers meet wood again. All your muscles flex as you prepare to pull yourself along across the filthy floor, just a few more inches...

...you can’t.

You can’t because your shirt has snagged on a nail jutting out from between old splintered floorboards. Fate has damned you to this spot.

Letting your head thump against the wood, you stare with glassy eyes up at the piano plucking along without a player. Its ghoulish, heavy notes flood the saloon, unnatural in a way that churns your stomach. 

You are already beginning to fade when you hear his boots clacking up the stairs outside the Saloon. Somewhere behind you, rusted double-doors squeal open.

The clacking stops and his shadow engulfs your body. He clicks his tongue dryly. You wince and choke back a sob when his bootheel comes down between your shoulders, digging in deep.

“Reckon it wouldn’t ‘ave been so hard to stay put right where I left you,” Caleb jests, beginning to reload his gun, slow and deliberate. “‘stead of snakin’ around the whole place.”

His voice is gravelly, cruel as a knife. You’ve heard him speak once or twice before but his words are always overshadowed by his other sounds; the explosion of a musket, the whizzing of a deadly bolt tearing through the air—and that dry, mirthless laughter.

You’ve come to accept a harsh truth in the Entity’s realm; some killers carry out their task mechanically, impersonally, as though running on a program. Other killers enjoy watching you bleed and die.

It became apparent very quickly which breed of murderer Caleb was. You carry his vicious laughter in your mind even when you sleep.

When Caleb speaks again, something in his voice tells you he’s talking at you, rather than to you, like a hunter studying a lifeless buck.

“Impressive y’even managed to get as far as ya did, considerin’ how much yer leakin’.”

He prods you suddenly with the bayonet tip of his gun, just beneath your ribs—right where he shot you. You cough hideously, writhing beneath his boot. He presses down harder until you lie still.

“Was proud of that shot.”

Go to hell, you want to spit at him. You might if you were braver. This is not a man whose mercy you want to test. Instead, you pray that when his gloating is finished, he fires that bolt straight through your head.

“But, seein’ as you got some fight still left in you,” The pressure in your back ebbs as Caleb lowers the gun. “How ‘bout an offer.”

You are far too weak to be surprised by his words, far too tired. It is obvious from just his tone that the “offer” is not really an offer. Whatever he has in mind, you are going to participate.

“Now, a man has certain needs, and not all of ‘em he can provide on his lonesome, try as he might.” 

A short, dry chuckle builds in Caleb’s throat. Your world dips in and out of focus, the playerless piano now a hazy blur of black and white. You consider his meaning; certain needs. Alright, you understand. You know what he wants. And you are certainly not above whoring yourself out to a murderer for the promise of an easy death.

“Get up on your knees.” Comes the demand, gruff and sudden, any hint of that false laughter sucked dry in an instant.

“And turn around so I can look atcha.”

You suck a deep breath into your lungs before you comply. You grunt hard as you push yourself up on your knees, shuffling slowly around in a circle until you face him. Tears spring to your eyes. You don’t want to look up at him; you do anyway.

Caleb wears the grin of a fox. His face bears cunning, vulpine features. The brim of his hat dips low over his brow and nearly shades his eyes from view in the dirty light of the saloon—but you can just see them, can just make out their sinister white glow. The effect is utterly inhuman.

And yet, clearly, this man is not without human urges.

You can’t help it when your eyes stray to his groin. His arousal strains his trousers. You want to be sick, but can’t quite muster the strength for it.

“Course, you already know what you’re gonna do, dontcha?” Caleb mutters, seeming to notice where your attention has drifted. Your eyes fall to the floor.

“There’s a clock on the wall over there.” He gestures his gun to the far wall of the saloon.

“Don’t know if it works quite like where I come from—lots o’ things don’t seem to work right in this place, but ain’t none o’ my concern. You got ‘till that little hand strikes three to get me satisfied.”

He settles the spear of his gun against your forehead. The tip digs sharply into your skin, wetting you with fresh blood.

“Else I pull this trigger.”

You see it happening in your mind, so vividly—your skull splitting like an eggshell, your brains spraying out the back, staining the bar behind you with chunks of pink and red. Your vision swims. 

It doesn’t feel like you should be speaking to Caleb. It feels wrong on the most primitive level. You lick your dried lips and force the words out anyway.

“What do I get?” You rasp. “If I do?” 

Caleb stares at you from beneath the brim of his hat, almost caught off guard. Then, something sinister curls across his face.

“What do you get?” He laughs again. It’s not as dry this time—there’s a hint of genuine amusement. “Well, that hatch o’course. I’ll take you straight to it.” Your mouth twists with disbelief. 

Caleb’s hand flies from the barrel of his spear gun, gripping your chin harshly. He tweaks your jaw until you look him in the eye.

“What—think I’m lyin’?”

Your silence speaks a thousand words. The tears tickle as they slip down your cheeks. Of course you don’t believe him; you aren’t stupid.

Caleb shakes his head, rapping your jaw with his index finger.

“I’m a man of my word. But I s’pose you’ll just have to trust me, seein’ as that clock is already tickin’.”

When those words leave his lips, the decision is easy, and you hate yourself for it. You’re going to suck this vile man off like you god damn mean it.

Your fingers tremble violently as you reach forward to scrabble around the leather of his belt. Undoing his pants, you pull the last button so hard that it rips from its fabric, rolling away across the floorboards.

Caleb’s dick is long, the base of it completely unshaven. The flushed head already beads with pearlescent precum—he’s enjoying this.

You turn off your thoughts as you grip his hips. Dipping forward, trying to ignore the barrel of the gun pressed damningly against your forehead, you wrap your lips tight around the tip.

Caleb grunts. He throbs against your tongue, filling you more than you were prepared for. You choke back a tearful gag and begin to suck obediently, bobbing your head back and forth. The man above you lets loose a hard breath. Widening his stands, he slants his hips impatiently forward, pushing more of himself into your mouth. Your eyes begin to water fiercely; the point of the gun against your skull is a dull numb ache now, secondary to the pain of breathlessness. Caleb seizes a fistful of your hair, forcing you to be full of him. Spit begins to drip down your chin. He holds you in place while you choke on his dick.

With a throaty growl, his hold eases. You cough violently as you pull away from his groin. Glistening saliva strings between his shaft and your lips. Taking him in your mouth again, you swallow down his cock until it bulges in your throat. He fists your hair in one hand, muttering curses. 

“Deeper.” He snarls, fingering the trigger of his rifle. You obey. Your chin meets his balls, wet and warm with drool. You bob on him breathlessly. In and out. In and out. If the playerless piano still hammers away, you can’t hear it beyond your own ugly gagging.

Caleb growls suddenly, deep and low in his chest. The fist in your hair snaps painfully shut. Before you realize what is happening, he has taken his release into his own hands, ramming you along his shaft. Your head jerks violently as he fucks your face. Your throat is full of him again and again.

Caleb spits out a sudden hoarse “fuck.” Hotness floods your mouth. He pulls out to gush along your tongue. You gag at his bitter taste.

The man above you pants heavily, head tilted back, eyes closed, chest rising and falling.

“Swallow it.” He hisses, clenching his teeth. “Get it all down.”

Tonguing the head of his penis, you swallow. It nearly comes back up. Caleb looks down at you and the scowl on his face deepens. You realize you’ve missed some—you can still feel a bit of wetness dribbling down the corner of your lip. 

“I said all of it.”

Your tongue flits out obediently, drawing the rest of him into your mouth. The fist in your hair relaxes, and Caleb begins to stroke your head, petting you like some obedient animal. It almost feels good, you think, too tired to take it back.

“Well then,” Caleb begins, sneering. You feel your blood run cold. “Let’s see about that hatch.”

The ropes bite into the flesh of your ankles and wrists and rub your skin raw with every feeble tug. You understand now why they call your current predicament “hogtying”—because with your squirming, your squealing, the way you roll helplessly around on your belly in the dirt, envisioning yourself as a hog is easy. Beneath you, the ground gives another violent quake. It won’t be long now before the Entity claims this place. 

 In the end, Caleb had only been partially lying—he did carry you to the hatch.

 He also tied your limbs, dropped you down like a sack of bricks mere feet away from your last chance at escape, and stomped it abruptly shut.

 With tear-soaked eyes, you watched him saunter away to sink down on the steps of the Saloon, procure a rag from his pocket, and begin to wipe his rifle. He whistles now as he works, looking up at you occasionally from beneath his hat. His vicious grin flashes for just a second whenever your gaze meets.

 You can tell what Caleb is thinking about every time he looks up at your tied, squirming body—that he could take you right now, right in the dirt. Maybe get a quick one in before the Entity claims you. Or maybe hunt you down later and take his time with it. 

Letting your heavy eyelids flutter shut, you hope you hurry up and die already, if only to get the lingering taste of his cum out of your mouth.

[justfangirlinghere]

okay fuck it, I’m fully climbing in the clown car.

Hear me out — what if the reason Eddie and Buck are separated is because Eddie asks for it. And the hostage situation is what makes him realize that that’s a terrible (truly godawful) idea and things go back to normal? 

Think about it. Eddie broke up with Ana because he knows he doesn’t feel the way he would about her if he was in love with her. But he also — a little bit — broke up with her because he’s maybe *almost* starting to become aware that perhaps he’s more attached to his best friend than he would be with someone who was actually just a friend. 

Maybe it’s his own reflection on his “ready-made family” comment (it doesn’t bother him when his ready-made family is the one he and Chris have with Buck, after all). Maybe it’s comments, here and there, that Ana made offhand (like, genuinely not even in a judgmental way. Just an observational way) about how close he and Buck were. Maybe it’s because one of Christopher’s teachers mistook “the infamous Buck” for Eddie’s boyfriend. Whatever the reason — it puts Eddie on edge. He starts overthinking things. Thinks he needs space from Buck to, you know, get his head on straight. Pun intended. 

And Chimney is away trying to find Maddie and taking care of Jee. So Eddie just asks Bobby — real casual-like (maybe Bobby is worrying about having to rearrange things while Chim is out or something) — if he can work with Hen. And Bobby takes a minute to go full Dad Mode™️ because the last time Buck and Eddie weren’t on the same page things sort of apocalyptically went to shit. But Eddie manages to be somewhat convincing and tells Bobby that he knows Ravi is chomping at the bit to get in on some of the big action on calls, so Eddie is happy to step back and let the new guy have some fun with Buck. And Bobby knows Eddie’s not wrong, so he agrees.

Eddie realizes his mistake about 10 seconds after the meeting where Bobby announces these new (temporary) assignments. How? Because Hen leans over to him, smirking, and says “Well Bobby just made the probie’s whole year.” And Eddie sort of looks at her, confused. “He’s got a crush on Buck that can be seen from space,” Hen oh-so-helpfully explains.

And, now, Eddie has a problem. Well, a different problem. Okay, a different version of the same fucking problem. Maybe the universe was screaming at him before, what the FUCK.

Because, you see, the distance from Buck was supposed to make things easier for Eddie. It was supposed to help him get his thoughts in some semblance of order so he can figure out what’s going on. But now? Now, Buck is the only thing he can think about.

Buck has never outright come out to Eddie. But Eddie’s… well he’s known Buck a long time. There’ve been comments. Looks. Jokes. Here and there, that suggest that Buck isn’t as straight as he might have seemed to everyone at first glance. And now, Ravi has a crush on him. And damn it, the probie is a mess around Buck. Now that Hen’s mentioned it, Eddie has been replaying their every interaction since Ravi started and fuck, Hen’s right. She’s so fucking right. And Eddie’s an idiot.

But he knows that Buck is probably not interested in Ravi. (Eddie knows Buck well enough to know what he is like when he’s interested in someone — and he is *studiously* ignoring the often-silenced part of his brain that is whispering he knows that because it’s how Buck behaves around Eddie). So Eddie knows that Buck probably isn’t interested in Ravi. But… is that enough?

Fuck no. Not for Eddie’s brain. Because yeah, he’s jealous of Taylor, sure. But that was at least something he could lie to himself about. He could pretend Buck was straight and that Eddie hadn’t ever had shot with him anyway. But if Buck’s with Ravi? Hell if Buck even looks at Ravi twice? That’s worse. That’s 1,000 times worse. Because that means Eddie had a shot and he’d missed it.

Hadn’t even blown it because that would imply that he’d actually taken it. Which, he hadn’t. Because he was too busy being a — what had that doctor said? repressed? — fool. And god help him if he lost the best person he’d ever known — one of the most integral parts of this family he’s created for himself — because he was too afraid? Well, Eddie can’t take that. He can’t forgive himself for that.

So Eddie regrets it immediately and proceeds to spend the whole week struggling. He and Hen normally work together just fine. It’s not the same as when he works with Buck — how could it be? They basically read each other’s minds at this point — but it’s not usually too difficult. Except this week. No, this week it’s one misstep after another. And Eddie knows it’s his fault. He’s distracted. He spends half the time worrying that Ravi isn’t watching Buck’s back well enough. He spends the other half worrying Ravi is watching his best friend’s back, and broad shoulders, and long legs, and—Jesus CHRIST he needs to get. It. Together.— a little too closely.

Hen notices first, Bobby notices not long after. Eddie’s not sure either of them know why he’s is behaving so strangely ��� beyond just being separated from his partner — and Eddie doesn’t care, not really. Not when it means that by Monday, Bobby comes up to him and pats his shoulder and says “thanks for volunteering to try this partner change, but it’s pretty clear it isn’t working.” And before Eddie can even breathe a sigh of relief, he’s staring at Buck. And Buck, being Buck, just looks hurt and more than a little confused before he says, “Volunteering?”

And then they’re avoiding each other/not talking/not-quite-fighting but not okay either as we head into the literal hostage situation. Because of course they are.

[charming-charlie]

Lunch Break

Title // Lunch Break

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Jealousy mostly? Little bit of teasing and some implied oral too.

Summary // Jealousy rears its ugly head at Station 118.

Word Count // 2.5k

Prompt // Buck's reaction when you ignored him because of something // “Come and sit on my lap, baby.” with bucky pls // “I wish I could tell the world.”- “Go ahead.”- “OKAY WORLD GUESS WHAT *insert name here* IS MY FREAKING BOYFRIEND/DATEFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND AND I REALLY-”*A puts hand over B’s mouth*- “I did not mean literally!” reader x evan omg

It was a perfect, beautifully sunny day in Los Angeles. The birds were singing, the air was warm, and life was good. Then again, you were just in a good mood. You had a romantic meal with your boyfriend, Evan Buckley, and he spent the night at your apartment. Nothing sexual happened, unfortunately, but you were okay with that. The dinner was followed by some hard yet serious conversations where the two of you let everything out and shared the most intimate thoughts. By the time you checked the clock, it was two in the morning and Buck had to get some sleep. He had an early shift the next morning.

When you woke up, he wasn’t there, but he did leave a fresh pot of coffee and a sweet text message saying he was looking forward to seeing you later. You figured it should be sooner rather than later, and you took the rest of the morning to shower, get dressed, and go through your morning routine.

It was around early afternoon when you arrived at the firehouse. Apparently, the crew just returned from a call. Chimney was putting equipment away and when he spotted you, his face melted immediately into shock. “Oh no. Who told you?” Chim asked once you finally reached within earshot.

The phrase lingered with a certain dread and you stopped in your tracks to look at him. Giving him a slight head tilt to emphasize your curiosity, you let out a confused smile. “Told me what?”

Chim couldn’t look more like a turtle if he tried. His shoulders hunched as if he were trying to hide or disappear. He turned back to the equipment, grabbing two very menacingly looking hammers and hooking them into one of the compartments on the firetruck. “Told you about our call. Buck and the girl,” he mumbled into the air. You had to strain to hear him, since he was avoiding your gaze completely.

“What girl?” you couldn’t help but ask.

Chimney pursed his lips and he closed his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to rack his brain for something else to say to you, but he sighed in defeat. He turned to look at you. “Buck scored a girl’s number on the last call. He didn’t deny it or said he was seeing someone.”

You were taken aback by that and the wheels in your brain were already turning. You couldn’t see Buck doing that, not after how close the two of you grew, and the sweet text message that was still on your phone. Yet Chim looked worried. Not for Buck but for you. You couldn’t help but think there was some truth to what Chim was telling you, especially given the fact that he was a terrible liar. This didn’t seem like a lie.

The more you thought about it, the more upset you became. Even though he spilled his guts last night, talking about how he transformed from Buck 1.0 to Buck 2.0, maybe that was all an act. Maybe that was just his move, a ploy to get unsuspecting women to fall head over heels for him. Maybe he was Buck 1.0 the entire time.

You nod at Chim, your way of thanking him without saying anything, and you turn on your heels to leave the firehouse. You tried to ignore Chim’s stare into your back but soon got distracted by seeing Buck walk toward you with a smile. He looked so pleasantly happy that for a second, you wanted to believe he has truly changed, and yet you could not bring yourself to smile back.

“Hey babe. Miss me already?” Buck asked you. He reached out to touch you, but you immediately pulled back and walked around him, like he wasn’t even there.

The smile fell from Buck’s face as you walked away from him. You didn’t even acknowledge him. It kind of hurt when you didn’t text him back but now you’re straight up ignoring him? What gives?

He followed the trail that you left behind, and it led him to Chimney, who was still busy restocking the truck with fresh supplies. “Hey Chim, do you have any idea why Y/N seems mad at me? She just walked off without saying anything.”

Chim shut one of the compartment doors with a loud thud, causing Buck to jump at the metallic sound. “I told her about the girl’s number you got earlier,” Chim said. He was now also avoiding Buck’s gaze. His eyes were staring right at the side of the truck, as though it were fascinating and capturing his attention.

“That—wait, what? That girl gave me her number to give to Eddie,” Buck went on the defense, looking defeated and upset, “how did she—I don’t understand. Y/N thinks I would do that?”

It sounded like he was talking to himself now and Chim used that opportunity to slip away and find somewhere to hide. Sure, he may have made a situation worse by not fully understanding what happened, but it was best to get out of there while Buck sorted through his thoughts. Buck thinking could be dangerous sometimes.

He whipped out his phone and starting texting you at lightning speed. He would send one sentence after another instead of a whole wall of text. He did this, knowing you would get every single notification. Your phone would constantly buzz from the incoming messages. You’d have to talk to him.

An hour went by and Buck was running out of things to send to you. He started sending every emoji individually, one by one. By the time he sent the yellow smiley with the halo, his phone rang.

“Y/N,” he answered with a hesitated smile. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, “I knew that would work.”

“What worked?” the voice on the other line was not you, but rather his sister, Maddie.

The defeated slump of Buck’s shoulders would have made a cartoon noise as he sat down in one of the comfy leather chairs at the firehouse. He lied; his hopes were up but the voice of his sister popped them away. He tried to put on a brave face to help mask his saddened voice, but Maddie wasn’t convinced.

“Nothing, what’s—”

“Are you and Y/N okay?”

Maddie interrupted him and Buck leaned back. He hated the fact that you were ignoring him when there was a simple explanation to the situation. Buck opened his mouth and was about to say something, anything, to get his sister off his back, but Maddie retorted with a smooth and confident, “Don’t lie to me.”

How she was able to read her brother over the phone was a mystery unto itself.

“She’s ignoring me,” Buck replied with a sigh. He didn’t really want to talk about it. He wanted to go back and continue texting the entire emoji alphabet to you. It hit him, then, that if you were trying to call him, the call wouldn’t go through since he was on the phone with his sister. Quickly sitting up, he mumbled a super-fast and hardly audible “I gotta go, Maddie. Talk later,” before he hung up on his sister and went back to staring at the phone.

You didn’t text him back and there was no indication of a missed call.

It took everything in his willpower to not chuck the phone at the wall, purely out of frustration. If he were not on duty right now, he’d be at your apartment and talk things out. His hand tightened around his phone, just in time for his best friend to stroll on by.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, looking at Buck with curiosity.

“It’s your fault,” Buck said suddenly. He couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice as he rose to his feet.

“What is?” Eddie asked cautiously. He was walking backwards, away from Buck. When Buck was angry, it wasn’t a pretty sight. There was no violence or anything like that, but tensions did rise high when their resident goofball wasn’t his usual self.

“You and that girl flirting on the call today, and I’m supposed to give you her stupid number that she gave me to give to you and now my girlfriend isn’t talking to me because of you and that girl’s number and I’m going craz—”

Bobby was hearing the commotion and he quickly walked over to the scene. As the captain, he had to make sure his firefighters played nice. “Everything okay over here?” Bobby asked, looking back and forth from Eddie to Buck.

“Did you try calling Y/N?” Eddie interjected while ignoring Bobby’s question. He was unfazed by Buck’s tangent to make a point, something he was pretty used to after working at Station 118 for so long.

Buck stopped and immediately shut his mouth. The resentment on his face changed into something else. What was it? Guilt, maybe?

“What did you do?” Bobby asked while turning to Buck, “never mind, I don’t want to know.” After dealing with Buck and Eddie’s antics at the firehouse, sometimes Bobby needed to pick and choose his battles. He wasn’t going to pick and choose this one.

“Cap, can I…” Buck sheepishly started asking a question, like he was about to be scolded or something. He avoided Bobby’s gaze and let his voice trail off.

Bobby looked at Eddie, who shrugged and raised his hands in surrender, wanting no more part of the situation. Eventually, the Captain exhaled and nodded. “You have one hour, Buck. I’m making this your lunch break.”

With that, Evan Buckley was on a mission. He stopped by the farmer’s market and bought a bouquet of flowers and he raced to your place. The elevator in your apartment building was out of order, forcing the young but thankfully in shape fireman to dash two, sometimes three stairs at a time. He was just there this morning and it already felt comfortable, like he could see himself being more familiar with the apartment building as time went on. He hoped he would, but he just recently learned not to get his hopes up.

He rapped a few times on the door and used the flowers to cover up the peep hole so that you couldn’t see he was standing there.

“Who is it?” you asked through the door.

Buck wasted no time. “Delivery.”

“I didn’t order—” you began until you saw him. He was standing there, looking gorgeous like always. Every bone in your body was telling you to look away, shut the door, and go back to ignoring him. You turned away from him, and he held out the beautiful bundle of flowers.

“Delivery,” he said again, this time in a more apologetic and remorseful tone.

You took the flowers from his grip, and your fingertips brushed over his lightly. If you weren’t mad at him, you would be picturing those fingers brushing over other things, like different body parts.

“Today was a misunderstanding,” Buck said. He was giving you a look, a sweet, innocent look, and it was hard to look away. He knew just how to keep you captivated, how to keep you interested, and you found yourself opening the door to invite him in. He smiled a little and walked into the apartment that he was in only hours before.

It was a small place with one bedroom. Nothing like his two-story loft that he got to enjoy when he wasn’t working. However, the smaller apartment made things seem cozier. Even he couldn’t explain it, but he did like being there.

“The phone number was for Eddie, not me. The whole thing is a misunderstanding. Miscommunication at the firehouse, it’s not exactly uncommon. I wouldn’t do that to you,” Buck was saying. You were hanging on his every word. Sure, you may have taken things a bit extreme by ignoring him, and yet here he was, willing to fight for you and fight for a place in your life. You must give him credit for that.

“You really mean a lot to me, Y/N. I wish I could tell the world.”

“Go ahead.”

Buck stared at you, slowing blinking at your sudden permission to share his feelings. While last night’s deep conversations were perfect, it made the two of you closer to each other. Buck was in denial, but after realizing he could possibly lose you, even over something as a simple mistake, it made things a lot clearer to the fireman.

“Okay world, guess what!” Buck started shouting, catching you off guard, “Y/N is my freaking girlfriend and I really—”

You put a hand over his mouth. He was loud and you had neighbors on both sides of you and the walls were paper thin. The last thing you wanted was to deal with the cops over a noise complaint that your man was professing his love for you in a neighborhood apartment complex.

“I did not mean literally!” you whisper-shouted to Buck.

He was grinning behind your hand. You could feel it. His hidden smile only made you smile in return. Yeah, perhaps you were a tad dramatic today but so was he. Maybe it was proof that the two of you just felt fiercely for each other and needed the clarification that things were going to be okay.

Buck moved away from you and plopped down on your cream-colored loveseat. Your whole body turned to look at him as he relaxed. His eyes never left your gaze. He was staring at you, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. There was a swirl of emotions in his eyes. He was staring at you, admiring you, like you were a work of art. In his eyes, you were.

“Come sit on my lap, baby.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You walked up to him and sat down, one leg on either side of him as you straddled his waist, facing him. His hands found themselves pressing into the curves of your waist while your arms snaked themselves around his neck. “Don’t tell me you left your shift for this,” you told him in a whisper. His head seemed to be getting closer and closer to you, and you found yourself gravitating toward his lips.

“I’m on my lunch break,” Buck whispered against your lips.

You pushed your body against him. “Then you better eat something before you go back.”

Buck only smirked as his fingers slipped under the fabric of your shirt. Your little daydream from earlier, the one where you didn’t want to imagine Buck’s fingertips going places, was starting to come back the very moment he touched your bare skin.

“I’m working on it,” Buck replied huskily before letting his lips move against yours in a desperate need to claim them.

The drama from the afternoon seemed to evaporate and a bubble started forming around you and Buck. For now, at least for however long he had on his lunch break, nothing could pop the bubble. You two were in your own little world, safely confined within the walls of your apartment. Too bad your walls were paper thin though. Your neighbors might file a noise complaint after all.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

@t-counter’s statistic of how often the average person uses a t in a sentence is incorrect. T-georg (not to be confused with testosterone georg, who uses 15 shots of testosterone per day), who lives in a cave and adds a t to the beginning and end of every word, is an outlier adn should not be counted

[buckthegrump]

Are You Leaving My Love Behind?

Summary: At lot can happen in five years, but even more can happen in a few months.

Warnings:  Angst, pregnancy stuff, mentions of violence, fluff kind of

Word Count: 4.9k

A/n: this is for @wkemeup​ ‘s writing challenge my prompt was “please tell me that isn’t your blood” sorry it took me so fucking long to get it out

2018

“Ok, we’re gonna start trying,” Charlie smiled as his wife, Y/n, who smiled back at him. 

“I think now’s the best time, I mean we’re never gonna be really ready, ya know?” She lifted her wine glass.

He lifted his glass to tap against hers. But they never touched. Just as they were about to, Y/n’s fell to the ground and shattered. Charlie turned his attention to the mess she had made while Y/n stared at her hand in horror. He looked back up at her with a question on his lips that was never fully formed.

Painfully slow, they watched as Y/n’s body slowly turned gray then to dust. She looked her husband in the eye.

“I love you,” was the last thing she said before she disappeared. 

Charlie sat on the couch watching as the dust particles of his wife slowly fell to the ground.

2023

Y/n was sitting on a couch in a house. Her house, but this wasn’t her couch. The room looked like her living room, but there was something off about it, something different that she couldn’t identify. And it was more than just the fact that the couch was different.

“Y/n?” A familiar voice filled her eyes and relief washed over her. That is until she turned around.

Charlie was standing there with another woman. He looked different, older, tired, still hot though. But it was the other woman that stood there with him that had most of Y/n’s attention. It was the possessive hand on his bicep, and more so the blinding ring on her left hand.

“Charlie,” Y/n whispered, unable to hide the fear and hurt in her voice, “Who’s this?”

* * *

Y/n stared at the snack table in front of her. All the donuts had been sliced in half despite the fact that it was a full dozen and there weren’t even six people in the room. And she highly doubted that anyone else would join, her therapist said that it was a smaller group. 

Maybe it was so small because not many people knew about it. It didn’t help that it was in the gym of an old high school that was not only creepy but a little hard to find. Or maybe people were scared off by the superheroes that were sitting around the circle. Even though there were only two of them.

Y/n grabbed two whole donuts silently daring anyone to say anything about it and sat down in a chair. The two superheroes and one civilian sat next to each other and the leader of this grief group sat in a chair that was meant to be the head of the circle. While Y/n had secluded herself from the group.

“I think now is a good time to start,” the leader spoke, “My name is Sarah, for those of us who are new.”

Sarah very pointedly looked at Y/n who was still chowing down on her donuts trying to turn invisible.

“Anyway -” Sarah then made everyone introduce themselves and share something.

Sam and Bucky were here because they’d lost their friends. Y/n couldn’t tell if they were talking about Tony Stark or Steve Rogers, or maybe both. Maddi was there because while she’d just given birth when she got dusted and came back to a child that she didn’t know, which made Y/n feel stupid for her thing.

So she told them that she was just having trouble adjusting to life after ‘the blip’. Which wasn’t a complete lie but at this point, she was much more interested in finishing her donut.

Y/n didn’t talk much the rest of the time and let the others speak and work through their problems.

“Y/n,” Sarah addressed her at the end of group, “Are you sure you don’t have anything you’d like to share?”

“Not this week,” she answered.

And for a few weeks, she would answer the same way and Sarah would give her the same look. As time went on a few more people joined the group until there were a whopping eight people there, not including Sarah. (Still not enough for them to have any real reason to cut the donuts in half, in Y/n’s correct opinion.) Y/n hadn’t really bothered to commit their names to her memory but it’s not like she ever talked to anyone outside of this.

She hadn’t planned on saying much in group at all, she only came because her therapist said that if she continued to come he would bring some of his wife’s baking to one of their sessions. And she really wanted some cookies.

But, earlier that day she’d sat in an office across from Charlie. 

“Y/n, anything you’d like to share this week?” Sarah asked as she did every week. She was clearly expecting Y/n to say no.

“I shouldn’t hate Daniella, I know logically I shouldn’t but apparently the smart part of my brain is much smaller than the stupid part,” Y/n said. She almost left it at that just to get it off her chest.

“Why?” Bucky asked. Y/n and he locked eyes for a moment that seemed way too long for the setting there were in before she answered him.

“Why what?”

“Why do you hate her?”

Y/n laughed humorlessly. “She’s living the life I want. I know how that sounds but it’s true. I was dusted out of existence and when I came back apparently it was five years later and my husband, who watched me die, had fallen in love with someone else and asked her to marry him. So you can imagine his shock when I reappeared on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon as if nothing had happened.

“He still wants to marry her,” she could feel the lump in her throat begin to rise and did nothing to stop the tears from flowing. “So he asked for a divorce. And I know that it was five years ago and he’s changed, he had to live through my death. But he didn’t. . . I didn’t change. It’s only been four months since I’ve been back and he didn’t even try.”

She paused but no one spoke. They all sat there staring at her.

“And I know that my problems aren’t half as bad as some of the shit that y’all are going through but I just -” Y/n tried to swallow but it was hard. “Why the fuck does she get my life?”

* * *

Y/n was sitting in a forgotten hallway of the school, yes with the box of donuts in her lap. But she had lost her appetite.

“Ya know it’s considered rude to run off with the donuts.” She looked up to find Bucky Barnes standing next to her. She opened the box and offered him some. He grabbed one of the jelly-filled ones and sat down next to her. 

“We were going to try for kids, probably adopt some too, he really loved kids.”

“It’s really shitty of him for doing that to you,” he whispered.

“I lied, he didn’t ask for the divorce,” she admitted, “I did.”

“Why?”

“For the first month, I lived with them. I watched them interact and I -” she paused to compose herself. “He used to look at me like that. It’s not his fault I’m still living in the past. For a week I thought I was pregnant, and I was so relieved when I wasn’t. I don’t think I would’ve kept it if I had been.”

Bucky didn’t say anything and he hadn’t taken a bite of his donut yet.

“Sorry, group is over I shouldn’t be unloading all my bullshit on you.” She began to stand.

“It’s fine I don’t mind,” he told her.

“You’re very sweet, but it’s not like we’re friends or anything,” she smiled down at him.

He stumbled to his feet before she could walk away. “We could be.”

She looked at him expecting to see pity behind his gaze but she found none. What she did find was something that she couldn’t put a name to.

“Ok,” she agreed, “I don’t have many friends these days. Walk with me.”

So he walked her ‘home’ which was more of a temporary living situation. She had always been a babbler, it was something that Charlie constantly said would get her in trouble sooner rather than later. That day had finally arrived.

“I was sorry to hear about your friends,” she said as they walked.

“Thanks,” he said with a shrug.

“Do you miss him? Captain America, I mean. What do I even call him? Captain America seems so formal but calling him Steve Rogers seems too casual ya know?”

“It’s complicated. It’s not like we were dating or anything but I thought -” the nearly forgotten donut in his hand made its way to his mouth. Y/n walked silently waiting for him to continue his thought or change the subject. “I just assumed that we were something different.”

“Were you in love with him?” She blurted and he nearly choked on his bite. “You don’t have to answer that. In fact, forget I even asked.”

“I think so,” he answered once he was able to speak. “But clearly he didn’t feel the same way about me.”

“Why do you say that?”

Bucky chuckled. “That’s a little harder to explain.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” she said as she stopped in front of a dingy motel. “This is me.”

Bucky’s brows knitted together and his lip twinged in disgust. “You live here?”

“Well, I couldn’t really continue living with the happy couple, could I?” She asked. “Good night, Bucky. I’ll see ya next week.”

* * *

Charlie was talking about something to do with the divorce, but Y/n wasn’t really listening.

“Y/n,” he said pulling her from her daydreaming.

“Huh?”

“I know when you’re spacing out, is everything ok?”

Y/n let out a quiet sigh. What a loaded question. But the short answer was no. Of course, she wasn’t ok. How could she be? She was about to get a divorce that she wasn’t sure she wanted. Sure, she was the one who asked for it, but the look of relief on Charlie’s face when she suggested it-

If she hadn’t had said it when she did, sooner or later, he would’ve.

The paper was just sitting there on the table in front of her. The legal side of the divorce was pretty straight forward with a little leeway for Y/n after being gone for five years.

“I’m fine, Charlie,” she said. After taking a deep breath she flipped the pen in her fingers and signed the paper without a second thought. “I’ll see ya around, Ace.”

“Y/n,” he said.

Before he could get another word out she rushed through the doors. She walked faster than she needed to away from the building once she was outside knowing that Charlie would probably try to follow her. Well, at least her Charlie from five years ago would’ve. 

She wandered around the city for hours until she found herself outside the high school, that had recently reopened, where the grief group was held. It wasn’t until she saw Sam and Bucky walking towards her that she remembered that it was Thursday and they did have group today. She was also painfully aware of the tear streaks that stained her cheeks.

Sam made a b-line for the high school entrance, while Bucky walked right to her.

“What’s wrong?” He started to lift his had but put it back down at his side thinking better of it. She began to shake her head ready to deny that anything was wrong. “Don’t bother lying to me.”

“I signed the divorce papers today,” she whispered.

Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line. “Do you wanna skip today?” She nodded and he gave her a small smile. “C’mon, I know of something way more fun than dealing with our emotions.”

* * *

Y/n was still crying but now they were tears from laughing too hard. Bucky had fallen on his ass for the seventh time in two minutes. One would think that a highly trained assassin would know how to stay upright on a pair of roller skates.

“Who knew that all they need to defeat the great Bucky Barnes is a pair of skates,” she giggled as she rolled over to him to help him up.

“Keep laughing,” he grunted, “I’m about to get the hang of this stupid thing and lap you so hard.”

“Oh, I don’t think so baby blue.” She offered him his hand, which he gladly took. But once he was standing he instantly almost fell again but Y/n caught him helping him balance. He was gripping her for arms as he steadied himself. He looked up from his feet to her face.

The lights of the roller rink dimmed and the disco ball was the only thing illuminating the floor, some 80’s love ballad started playing, and the rest of the people skating around them ceased to exist for a brief moment.

All the pain that she’d been feeling for that past few months, every thought of Daniella and Charlie, everything, except for Bucky, melted away. And for one glorious second, her heart wasn’t heavy.

But then the moment was over and it all came rushing back hitting her like a semi-truck barreling down the highway. 

She smiled and gently prompted Bucky to stand up on his own.

“Here’s your chance hot-shot, get the hang of it and lap me.” She stuck her tongue out at him and skated away from him.

Once she was facing away from him her smile dropped. If she had stayed in that position even a half-second longer she would’ve done something stupid. Like, try to kiss him, which only could’ve ended with him rejecting her. For a multitude of reasons on his end, and she just wasn’t ready for something like that. 

The universe was clearly playing some sort of cosmic joke on her.

About an hour later they were walking down the street in the general direction of Y/n’s temporary home but she almost didn’t want the night to end.

“Thank you,” she said bumping her shoulder against Bucky’s as they walked. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I meant it when I said I wanted to be friends.”

She looked down at the ground smiling. He shouldn’t be affecting her like this, she’d just signed divorce papers for fuck’s sake.

“Give me your phone,” she said when they stopped in front of the motel. He handed it over to her unlocked and she put her number in and handed it back. “There, now we don’t have to wait a week to talk to each other.”

“You might regret this choice,” he teased then bid her goodbye.

Later that night she got a text from Bucky. It was some video with the caption ‘I thought you would find this funny.’

* * *

A few days after she signed the papers, she found an apartment that was move-in ready. Things were finally starting to look up for her. She wanted to text Charlie and just talk to him but she restrained herself.

Instead, she distracted herself with social media, and apparently she hadn’t unfollowed her ex-husband because the first thing she saw on Instagram was a picture of him and Daniella. It was obviously some of their engagement photos, and whatever good feelings she’d had, flew out the window.

On a whim, she texted the only friend she had these days. She wasn’t expecting anything to come from it, but about forty-five minutes later Bucky was knocking at her door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she opened the door.

“I brought treats,” he said walking in not waiting for her to invite him in. He set the brown bag down on her coffee table and sat on her couch. “And there are a bunch of movies that I’ve been told are classics that I haven’t seen yet, so help me catch up.”

She smiled at him as she sat next to him on the couch and dug into the bag of snacks.

They were halfway through the first movie when she was hit with a sudden wave of emotions and she started crying.

“Woah,” Bucky whispered putting down his drink on the coffee table. He turned to her. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s my best friend, or he was,” she wiped the tears off her cheeks, “Any time someone talks about getting a divorce they don’t talk about that you lose your best friend. I saw something stupid on the street a few days ago like right after the signing and I wanted to text Charlie so bad. And I had the message all typed and ready to go when I remembered that I can’t do that anymore.

“Not to mention that all my friends pre-blip weren’t blipped away and now they have all moved on and I’m still in the same place I was five years ago.” She looked down at her hands and picked at her thumbnail. “I just - all my life I was afraid of being left behind, and now I have been.”

“Well, I like stupid things,” Bucky said, “so next time you can text me. We’re friends, and I know what it’s like to be left behind.”

* * *

As the week went on Y/n realized a pattern in her behavior. Any time that she found something funny or just wanted to talk to anyone, Bucky was her first choice. She had other friends but Bucky had quickly become her best friend.

Thursday came faster than she expected it to. And for once, she was actually looking forward to it. 

That is until she opened Instagram. Charlie had posted again, and it used to be that he would post maybe once every month if that. So him posting again so soon after the most recent one, surprised her a little, but, she could handle Charlie and Daniella being cute in one post.

She was sitting in the chair in the circle while the rest of the patrons trickled in, and that’s when she finally really looked at the post and her heart nearly stopped.

“Alrighty,” Sarah said calling attention to herself, “Let’s begin. Does anyone want to start us off?”

Everyone was silent, Y/n sent a pleading look to Bucky who was across the circle from her. She knew that if no one else started it Sarah would -

“Y/n,” Sarah said as if she could read minds, “We missed you last week. Anything you’d like to share?”

Y/n snorted. “Two seconds before I was turned to dust, my husband, well ex-husband, and I had just decided to start trying for a kid. And now we’re divorced, and his new fiancee is pregnant. Or at least they just announced it, which means they’ve known for a few months. But I’m just trying to figure out what the fuck I did in a past life to warrant this kind of bullshit. Ya know?”

“Well,” Sarah started but Y/n wasn’t paying attention. All of her attention was on Bucky who was staring back at her. His gaze was unwavering. He offered her a small smile, which she returned.

At that moment, something deep inside her sparked back to life. She knew the feeling, she hadn’t had these feelings since the beginning of her relationship with Charlie. She had this feeling of almost despair with the knowledge that she could easily fall in love with this man if she wasn’t careful.

And Y/n was one clumsy fucker.

* * *

Y/n would like to say that she held out for months before she fell in love with Bucky.

It would be a lie, but ya gotta lie to yourself sometimes.

Three weeks had passed since Charlie’s announcement and Y/n hadn’t thought about it in a long time.

No, instead she was spending most of her free time acting like a high school girl who had a crush. When she was in bed at night texting him she would be grinning like an idiot. Or anytime he called her, her heart would skip several beats.

It even got to the point where one time at the support group he said something to her that was mildly flirtatious and her palms started full-on sweating. It was getting ridiculous.

Crushes weren’t supposed to feel like that as an adult. The butterflies in her stomach were supposed to be subdued, her heart wasn’t supposed to completely stop every time he so much as smiled at her. And yet, that’s exactly what she was going through.

* * *

There was one Thursday when Bucky wasn’t at group. He had sent her a text telling her as much, but she’d hoped that he was lying and was going to show up anyway. Because yes, they were friends and hung out outside of Thursday nights, but with the group, they got to see each other every week.

But then she didn’t hear from him for a few days, then a whole week. Which wasn’t the biggest deal in the world, people get busy Y/n understood that. She didn’t start to worry until another Thursday came and went without a word from Bucky.

Y/n was pacing her living room after group and was three seconds from calling Bucky and then the police if he didn’t respond. Then there was a knock at her door.

She opened it to find a beaten and bloodied Bucky standing at her door, and her heart dropped to her stomach.

“I forgot to text,” he whispered, but she was no longer worried about the lack of contact for the past week.

“Please tell me that isn’t your blood,” she whispered.

He gave her finger guns and the weakest smile. “I can’t.”

“Jesus, Barnes,” she pulled him in and closed the door behind him.

Y/n led him to the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked as he watched her sort through everything in the bathroom looking for the supplies she needed.

She glanced at him sideways before wetting a washcloth with warm water. As gently as she could, she began to wipe the blood away from his face. Y/n focused solely on his blood-stained cheeks, but she could feel Bucky’s gaze glued to her.

“Ya know that I’ll take a shower and be fine, I’m a super soldier I don’t need you to patch me up,” he said softly sending a shiver down her spine.

“Do you want me to stop?” She started to pull her hand away but Bucky caught her wrist in his hand.

“No.”

Y/n continued silently cleaning off his face, he hissed when she found a cut on his left cheekbone. She mumbled an apology but then found yet another half-healed gash on his face.

“Is this punishment for not telling you I had to go on a mission?” He teased.

“Is that where you were?” She raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled sheepishly. “Well, now the lack of communication during the week makes sense. But what I still don’t understand is why you decided to forego a shower before showing up at my doorstep battered and bruised? Especially if you knew that you would heal up in a few hours. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll tell you what’s going on next time. And shower before I come over.”

“As long as you come over,” Y/n shrugged.

* * *

Sam was sitting on the couch when Bucky returned to their shared apartment. The grin on Sam’s face didn’t go unnoticed but Bucky was trying to ignore him.

“You didn’t even bother to shower before you went over to her place,” Sam unnecessarily pointed out. “How bad do you have it?”

“I do not have it bad-”

Sam interrupted him with a laugh. “Barnes, she got you acting like a damned fool. And don’t think I haven’t seen the way that you stare longingly at her during support group. And the stupid smile you have on your face anytime she texts you. Not to mention -”

“Ok, ok, I get it. You know I like her.”

Sam stared at him in disbelief. “That’s what you’re calling it? ‘Liking her’? Boy, I got some news for you.”

Bucky sighed and sunk into the couch next to Sam. “I can’t be in love with her Sam. We only met a few months ago. Not to mention she just got a divorce.”

“Well, you were apart of two different fights for the universe with no break in between. Your concept of time and the time you have left on earth has been altered. The timeline that you normally would’ve given yourself doesn’t really apply anymore. And if I’m right, which I am, you’re probably not gonna tell her that you’re in love with her for about 80 years after being on ice for 70 of those years, fighting a war or two and then leaving your best friends with little to no warning. Then somehow making your way back to your friends only to, I don’t know, take off your arm and saying ‘you’re in charge now’,” Sam said only mildly bitterly.

Bucky snorted.

“If it’s any consolation,” Sam said after a moment, “I think that she could be falling in love with you too.”

* * *

Y/n was sitting on Bucky’s couch. It was only the second time she’d been to his apartment. And she was trying to relax but she was trying not to think about the fact that she was falling in love with Bucky.

It was the fact that she was already so enamored by him and she’d just gotten a divorce.  She felt guilty. For what? Having feelings? Moving on with her life?

“Steve isn’t dead,” Bucky blurted.

Y/n looked at him, eyes wide. “What?”

“Rogers,” Bucky continued. “He didn’t die in the same fight as Tony. He went back in time to be with Peggy, which is his own choice. But it’s like every time I got him back I lost him again, and this time he chose it. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m wanted.”

“I want you,” she said. His eyes were wide when he looked at her. “No, that’s not really what I meant but like -”

“I get what you mean,” he said then whispered, “I think.”

“Do you want pizza?” Y/n asked getting off the sofa.

“We’re not gonna talk about how you want me? Specifically for my body,” Bucky got up and followed her.

“I’ve decided to kill you and then you would be a joke in your community. A supersoldier, taken out by little old me, a human. You have a metal arm, Barnes, why was I able to take you down?”

“Well, I hope that you do well in your life after you murder me in cold blood.”

“It wouldn’t be in cold blood, besides I don’t even know how to throw a proper punch,” she shrugged.

Bucky chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to fight.”

Y/n looked down at the floor with the hint of a smile on her face. “Ok, thanks.”

“But do you actually want pizza?” He asked as he grabbed his phone. Y/n looked up from the ground at him. “Because I could order some and then have Sam pick it up on his way home.”

“Pizza sounds good.”

“Great.” Bucky unlocked his phone and started typing away. 

“You’d really teach me how to fight? I’m not coordinated at all, but I’m great at giving people bruises, so prepared for that,” she gave him finger guns.

Bucky chuckled. “Ok, Sam is gonna pick up the pizza and -”

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” Y/n blurted.

She and Bucky stared at each other silently for a moment. Y/n let out a noise that was halfway between a squeal and a laugh before running towards the door. Bucky grabbed her arm before she got far.

“It’s not fair to tell me something like that and then run away,” he said softly.

“But what if you judge me?”

“I have no place to judge you.”

“I shouldn’t have blurted it at all because now you might feel pressured to say something you don’t mean. Listen if you don’t feel the same way and want to just say friends just tell me right now, I can handle it.”

Bucky tilted his head to the side. “What makes you think I don’t feel the same?”

A beat. 

The tension between them got so intense Y/n almost couldn’t stand it. For a brief moment, she thanked her lucky stars that Sam wasn’t in the apartment because he definitely would’ve made a joke that ruined the moment.

“Do you wanna kiss me as much as I wanna kiss you?” Bucky asked.

“No,” she said and his face twisted in confusion, “Clearly I want to do it more.”

She cupped his cheeks with her hands pulling him into her. Once their lips met every worry she had about falling in love again went out the window. All the guilt and anxiety that had been building up over the last few months was gone. 

The door to the apartment opened and in walked Sam. Bucky and Y/n were still in each other's arms and they stared at Sam who stared back blankly.

“Shit, the pizza,” was all he said before he walked right back out the door.

“Just so there’s no confusion, I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you too,” Bucky said.

“Good because that would’ve been awkward,” Y/n chuckled.

[221bsunsettowers]

Buck/Eddie: I Would Give My Life Before I Break This Promise to You

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Buck/Eddie

Prompt: Shot with an Arrow (for Bad Things Happen Bingo) @badthingshappenbingo​

Summary: It should have been a relatively simple rescue operation, but now Buck is literally pinned to the telephone pole and Eddie won't leave him behind.In which Buck gets shot by crossbow bolts while trying to rescue a wounded man at the top of the telephone pole, and Eddie risks his life to make sure Buck gets down alive.

I got a Bingo on my Bad Things Happen Bingo card!

Thanks so much to 9-1-1 Lone Star for providing me with crossbow lady shooting at the telephone pole, thus allowing me to figure out how to get Buck and Eddie shot by arrows!

Thanks so much to @buddie-buddie​ and @moviegeek03​ for  being amazing soundboards and advice givers and cheerleaders as I tried to plot out and finish this story!

Can also be found on Ao3

"The person who called it in thought he might have had a heart attack," Bobby said, gesturing towards the telephone pole. Almost at the very top, they could just see a man slumped backwards, unmoving.

"Both of them?" Chimney asked in disbelief, crouching down next to another unmoving man, this one sprawled on the ground directly next to the telephone pole. Hen knelt by the man's head, gently examining the bloody wound on the back of his scalp. Picking up the two pieces of the nearby safety rope, Chim held one piece in each hand. "It looks like something snapped this right in two."

"Be careful up there," Bobby cautioned, as Eddie finished putting on his harness and checking that Buck's was secure. "Eddie, we need Hen and Chim down here to handle the injuries from the fall, so check him out as quickly as you can, and then you and Buck bring him down fast. Something seems off here."

"Got it," Eddie and Buck responded at the exact same time, and they both chose to ignore the laughter coming from Hen, Chimney, and if they looked close enough, even Bobby.

"I'll head up first so I can start evaluating," Eddie said, beginning the ascent, Buck waiting until Eddie was high up enough for him to start climbing too.

"Yeah, there's a lot of blood, definitely not a heart attack," Eddie commented, reaching the unconscious man. He had just started examining the wound when a loud thwack sounded, followed by another. "Shit, what the hell?" Scrambling up on the small ledge, Eddie immediately reached down to grab Buck's hand and swing him up next to him, but Buck didn't reach back.

"Kinda stuck here, Eds," he heard Buck groan out, and Eddie's breath caught in his throat. He slid his upper body over the edge, hoping against hope he wouldn't see his fear manifested, but there was Buck, pinned to the pole by a crossbow bolt straight through the right side of his stomach. Blood was dripping far too fast down his side, and Eddie heard a whimper of pain escape from Buck's lips.

"It's okay, Buck, it's going to be okay," Eddie promised, voice shaking, as he reached for his radio. "Guys, we need some help here, fast! Someone's shooting at us, they've got a crossbow, and Buck's hit! We're pinned down, they-" Quickly scanning the houses nearby, Eddie fought back the terrifying memories of being pinned under fire, of death and bullets and knowing he couldn't save everyone...Buck didn't have the time...Eddie called up his training instead, spying the window cracked up and radioing down the location.

"Eddie, you need to get out of here," Buck begged, as another thwack sounded just next to Eddie's hand, the bolt quivering as it stuck fast in the wooden pole.

"Not happening, Buck," Eddie swore, and he could see Buck start to shake his head.

"Eddie, please, you need to go!" Buck pleaded, and Eddie could see the blood, the pain, the life draining out of Buck's eyes, even though everything was blurring and hazing through Eddie's frantic tears and---

"Buck, I'd throw myself over you like a shield, okay?" Eddie finally snapped, and even through the fog of pain those words cut straight through to Buck. "Trust me, that was my first instinct. It's taking everything I have in me not to do it. But that would be only be a short term fix, okay? We need to get you safe and down from here, and that means I'm coming over to cut through that bolt."

Before Buck could answer, there was another loud thwack and Eddie felt his heart leave his body as another bolt shot straight through Buck's side again, and Buck screamed in pain before going completely limp, dangling from the harness, still pinned there by the two arrows piercing his body.

Eddie screamed, gutteral and raw and world-ending, throwing himself over the ledge, fingers scrambling to find a purchase on the side of Buck's neck. When he finally felt the too slow but still present pulse, Eddie let out a ragged sob, before beginning to cut off just enough of the first bolt to free Buck, but still keep the majority inside his body and stable so he wouldn't bleed out in Eddie's arms. And wasn't that a thought Eddie never, ever wanted to have flash through his brain again.

This time there wasn't any noise, the bolt digging itself in and through the meat of Eddie's shoulder but not close enough to reach the wood of the pole. Gritting his teeth, Eddie kept moving, taking Buck's weight on despite the agony shooting through his arm, focusing everything he had on cutting through that last bolt and lowering them both down. He didn't register anything else, didn't even notice the arrows had stopped flying, that his team had found their way into the house and stopped that danger. Later he would be ashamed he'd forgotten about the injured man that had originally brought them here, but Bobby would assure him that someone else had gone up right after and grabbed him, that the man was going to be okay.

When they reached the bottom of the pole, Eddie quickly unhooked Buck's harness before freeing his own. Clutching Buck in his arms, he stumbled towards the ambulance, feeling Hen and Chimney and Bobby around him, but refusing to relinquish Buck to anyone else. It wasn't until he saw Buck safely onto the stretcher that Eddie let his own eyes close, collapsing onto the ambulance floor.

****

Eddie's eyes shot open, once again ignoring his throbbing shoulder as he fought to sit up. Maddie was immediately in his line of sight, gently easing him back down with a soft smile. "He's okay, Eddie, I promise, Buck's okay," she murmured reassuringly, "you saved him."

Maddie looked to her right and Eddie followed her gaze, tears springing to his eyes as he saw Buck resting peacefully on a hospital bed just a few feet away. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the steady rise and fall of Buck's chest, the gauze expertly covering the wounds on his stomach.

"Can you-please-"Eddie couldn't even find the words, every one of his senses attuned to the man so close yet far too far away. But Maddie knew immediately what he meant, good-naturedly rolling her eyes as she beckoned to Chimney, who had just entered the room.

"We tried to tell them to just stick you two in the same bed..." Chim teased gently, earning a grateful smile from Maddie as Eddie let out a shaky laugh. Sliding under Eddie's good shoulder, Chim gingerly eased him the few feet to Buck's bedside, lowering him down into the chair as Maddie followed with the IV and readjusted Eddie's sling.

"The doctors say he'll definitely need to take a while to recover, but no vital organs were hit, and you keeping the bolts in kept him from bleeding out," Maddie said, eyes filling with tears as she bent down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Eddie's head. "You saved his life, Eddie, I can never, ever thank you enough for that."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for him," Eddie stated simply, unable to find it within himself to have a single anxiety about speaking those words out loud to someone else.

"He feels the same about you," Maddie answered with a smile, squeezing Eddie's hand. "I'll let him fill you in on that himself when he wakes up. What I can tell you is the others are still giving their statements to the police. The team got them to interview Chimney first so he could come be with me."

"Turns out the crossbow lady was convinced the telephone companies were using their equipment to send out energy beams that would bring about an apocalypse," Chimney said with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Not gonna lie Eddie, watching that from the ground...I'm just really glad you're both okay."

***

The same second Eddie felt Buck's fingers twitch in his hand, he heard the voice he knew better than his own mumbling an "Eddie?", face scrunching up in discomfort and confusion. Then "Eddie!" Buck suddenly yelled, flailing as he tried to get himself upright.

"I'm here," Eddie said urgently, squeezing Buck's hand, letting out a sigh of relief when Buck met his gaze and immediately calmed down. Seeing Buck's gaze land on Eddie's sling, Buck's eyes immediately filling with fear, Eddie carefully slid the top of his sling to the side so Buck could see the patch of bandages and gauze. "One of the bolts got me, but it looks to me like it's just fine. Hurts, but still full range of motion." Sighing, Eddie let his sling fall back into place, clutching Buck's hand in his again.

"You got hit by one?" Buck's eyes were wide and horrified, and Eddie hurried to speak before Buck could say exactly what Eddie knew he would say.

"I would never have left you," Eddie vowed, bowing his head to press his forehead against Buck's. "You could never have gotten me to leave you. I would have taken every single one of those hits for you if I could have. I promise. You have to know that, Buck."

Tilting his head, Buck lay a soft kiss on Eddie's lips, blinking back tears even while he laughed at the blush tinting Eddie's cheeks. "I hoped you felt the same," Buck murmured, sighing happily as Eddie pressed a kiss behind his ear. "I mean I clearly am not happy about the part where you got hurt, but you're really hot when you're all protective and dramatic."

"Remind me of that when we get home," Eddie said with a grin, kissing Buck's forehead. "I've got some romance to show you too."

[loveistherootofhappiness]

A little late, but still good (As you can see, turning in assignments on time just isn’t my thing 🤦🏾‍♀️)

Ship: Madney Rating: T Word Count: 1923

Summary: This was purely a coincidence. Just because a handsome stranger just so happened to be sitting next to her, wearing her so-called lucky colors, it didn’t mean anything.

Day 6: “Do you believe in love at first sight?” + meet cute

Can also be read here

Maddie heaved heavily, struggling to catch her breath. Her lungs protested the full on sprint she’d just done to make sure she didn’t miss the bus. The bus driver, uncaring of her plight, looked between her and the meter, silently willing her to pay her fare so he could move on to the next spot. She took a couple of calming deep breaths, grabbed the change, from her bag, and turned to find her a seat.

She found one of the last seats available on the already crowded bus. Such was the bane of L.A. public transit. Sitting her bag next to her, she put in her earbuds to listened to one of her favorite podcasts as she waited to arrive for her hospital shift.

She’d gotten lost in the story she’d been listening to when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Slightly started, she quickly removed one of her earbuds and looked up, locking eyes with the handsome stranger in front of her. She felt, what could only be described, as an electric current flow through her as she held his gaze. She could have sworn she spotted a flash of something in his eyes before he broke their contact.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if the seat next to you was taken?”

Maddie found herself instantly charmed by the kindness in his voice and the lopsided grin he’d sported. She took in the rest of him. The light of the morning sun highlighted his bronzed skin and dark brown eyes. His salt and pepper beard gave him a distinguished look. He was beautiful.

But the most noticeable thing about him was his bomber jacket. It looked as if an abstract painting had been taken and plastered on to the material, with all the differing colors splattered all over it. It definitely reminded her of something straight out of the 90s.

“I’m guessing that’s a yes then,” his voice broke through her train of thought. Confused for a second, she quickly realized she’d gotten so lost in her thoughts that she failed to answer his question. She must look insane.

“Oh, no,” she moved her bag out of the way. “It’s all yours,” feeling the blush forming on her cheeks, she chuckled nervously as he sat down, “sorry about that, I think I got distracted by your jacket.” Not a total lie.

He snorted, admiring the sleeves. “Wish I could take credit for it. It’s my brother’s. Couldn’t find mine, so I stole his.”

“Your brother has unique taste, it’s nice.” She returned his grin with a shy smile, finding herself instantly charmed. As she looked, she was able to take in the colors a little more, it definitely had al the basic colors accounted for, but the colors she saw the most of were green, purple, and orange.

Your lucky colors for today are orange, purple, and green. Her roommate, Josh’s, voice floated into my mind as she remembered what he’d said that morning. Josh been reading the L.A. Times and insisted on reading their horoscopes, which included a part about lucky colors.

Maddie shelved that thought process immediately. Nope. She wasn’t going down that road. This was purely a coincidence. Just because a handsome stranger just so happened to be sitting next to her, wearing her so-called lucky colors, it didn’t mean anything.

When she heard the familiar ding, she saw that her stop had been reached. Gathering her things, he gave her a wave before she exited the bus and walked the short distance to the hospital entrance. She pushed thoughts of horoscopes, colors, and handsome strangers away to prepare for whatever insanity this city provided the ER today.

Easier said than done.

Maddie flopped down in her chair, completely exhausted as her shift was nearing it’s end. It seemed that pushing those thoughts out of her mind just wasn’t what her brain wanted to do. It wasn’t to the point of distraction, but she’d caught herself thinking about a certain handsome stranger multiple times. His eyes, his voice, his smile. It had been a long time since he felt that connection with someone. It was crazy, she’d barely spoken two sentences to the guy, but there was something there she couldn’t describe.

And she didn’t even get his name. Some luck, huh.

Maddie sighed, as she used her badge to unlock the computer. Checking the incoming patients chart, she saw that a patient had been placed in one of her assigned rooms. She signed up for him and read through his chart. Possible broken wrist. Sounded simple enough.

Grabbing the appropriate tablet, she headed to his room. She did the obligatory knock before entering. “Okay, Mr. Han, I” she was stopped short by the sight of him. Sitting on the bed, holding a bag of melted ice to his wrist, with a bruised cheek, was the guy from the bus this morning.

“Well, hi.” He said as he smiled at her.

“Hi.” She stepped further into the room and closed the door, doing a quick survey of him to catalogue all his visible injuries. “It looks like you’ve had an eventful day, Mr. Han.”

“Please, call me Chimney,” she mustn’t’ve kept her face as straight as she thought, as he followed up with, “long story.”

Part of her wanted to wanted probe further so she could hear it, but knew this wasn’t the time or place. “Maddie.” She introduced. “Okay, Chimney, mind telling me how your face and wrist ended like this in,” she made a show of looking at her watch, “12 hours?”

“It looks worse than it feels,” he flinched as he tried to flex his injured wrist. She started checking his vitals as he explained, “I was trying to break up a bar fight. Drunk guy wanting to take his anger out on other people. He got my cheek as I got between him and another guy. He popped my wrist as I was tossing him out.”

She grabbed his wrist from him, gently examining it. Black, blue, swollen, and out of place in several places. “I admire the heroism.”

“Wouldn’t really call it heroism, it’s kinda my job,” he looked from his wrist to her eyes, “I’m a bouncer... slash D.J. slash manager.”

“That sounds... busy,” she laughed as she gently let go of his wrist.

“It can be, but it’s a living.”

In that moment, the doctor walked in the room. She left the room, giving them some privacy to talk. Sitting down at the computer she was still in a state of disbelief. She didn’t know if it would be wise to call this luck, given the state he was in and she still had no idea where she stood in her belief in it, but she didn’t think she could call this a coincidence anymore.

Maddie gathered the things she would need to wrap his wrist and bandage his cheek. As soon as the doctor came out, the x-rays came back and confirmed what she already knew: his wrist was dislocated. She waited  for the doctor to put in the orders and do the obligatory explanations with Chimney before heading back to the room.

“Chimney, let’s get that wrist wrapped and get you out of here.”

She slid the stool in front him, gave him an initial dose of pain medicine, and went to work on getting him patched up. There was a comfortable silence between them as she bandaged his bruised cheek.

“You know of all the ways I thought about seeing you again, gotta say, this wasn’t on the list,” he told her as she moved on to his wrist.

She actions faltered a bit, but she quickly recovered and fell back into her rhythm. Looking up into those kind, brown eyes, she saw the sincerity there. “You thought about seeing me again?”

He smiled shyly, “well, I’d hoped,” she was well aware that her cheeks were a fresh shade of crimson, “now I’m trying to figure out the ethics of asking your nurse for her phone number.”

Maddie knew she had the biggest grin on her face. Ignoring her heartbeat, she slid on the brace and wrapped the sling around his neck and wrist. Reaching for the discharge paperwork she’d brought with her, she held out the clipboard and a pen. “Sign here please.” She kept the smile on her face as he looked between her and the pen, grabbing and signing his name as best he could.

“Listen, if I overstepped-”

“You didn’t,” writing on the paperwork before she handed him his part of it, “and it looks like I’m officially not your nurse anymore.”

He caught on quickly as she pointed to her name and personal number at the bottom. Taking out his cellphone right then, he sent her a text message. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Just making sure you know it’s me.” She chuckled and saved his number.

They pocketed their phones, he grabbed his things, which included the jacket, and they both walked out of the room. “Well, Mr. Han, it has been a pleasure, you know besides the reason that you’re actually here.”

“Gotta say, the pleasure has been all mine.”

“Stay out of trouble,” she told him as he turned and walked towards the exit.

“No promises,” he threw over his shoulder before walking out the door.

Making her way back to the nurse’s station, she put his paperwork on the rack to be filed, made sure all her charts were completed, and logged out for the day. When she walked into the nurse’s lounge she found two of her coworkers having a conversation as she walked in.

“Ask Maddie and see what she thinks.” Jasmine said.

“Ask Maddie what?” She asked as she got her things from her locker.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

The question gave her pause and she turned to face the two women. “Um, I don’t know.” A certain charming man came to mind as she thought about it, throwing her completely off guard. She was certainly charmed by him, definitely infatuated and instantly attracted, but love. That was a stretch, right? Though, she had to admit, she’d never felt that strong a connection with someone before. “Maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility.”

“See, Maddie agrees with me.”

“I just don’t think it can happen,” Malika chimed in, “there definitely attraction at first sight, infatuation at first sight, most definitely lust at first sight, but love? Absolutely not, how the heck can you love someone you don’t know?” She did have a point.

“You’re just a cynic.”

“Just another way of saying realist, Jas.”

Leaving the two women to their conversation, as all the implications were starting to give her a headache, she said her goodbyes and left. As she walked across the parking garage, she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. She pulled out her phone and read the text on the screen.

Chimney Han I just realized, you probably know my entire medical history and I know nothing about you. How about we change that over dinner?

Maddie found herself staring at the message. All the implications and possibilities of whatever this thing was between them aside, she knew she liked him, at the very least. She felt excited at the thought of exploring the connection and see where it led.

She typed a quick, “I’d love to,” in response. ---

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5

[cinnamon-bebe]

Remember Us

(Sebastian x Reader)

Summary: Some mistakes cannot be fixed. A couple must come to terms with their loss.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, bereavement, cheating, mentions of abortions.

(’Re-purposing’ and embellishing an old storyline I had written for a fic years ago)

—————————————————————–

Sebastian

My feeble fingers fumble for the stereo in an attempt to put an end to the miserable love song on the radio but of course, I fail spectacularly, dialing up the volume with all my drunkenness.

“And I wish I could leave my bones

And my skin

And float over the tired, tired sea

So, that I could see you again

Maybe you would leave too

And we’d blindly pass each other

Floating over the ocean blue

Just to find the warm bed of our lover”

Why must the radio torment me tonight?

I try to change the station as I grip onto the steering wheel, I feel my car sway from side to side but it’s fine. There’s no one here, I’m all alone.

I soon come to realise that the music isn’t coming from the radio, rather a CD inside my stereo. Ripping out disc, my bleary eyes make out the name; Gregory Alan Isakov.

She must have forgotten this.

God, I shouldn’t be driving. If my agent knew, she’d be livid but for the sake of my sanity, I couldn’t stay at that PR sham any longer. Seeing all those phoney faces, pretending to be interested. Pretending to be into my hot new co-star, all for the sake of eliciting some publicity for our film. The only thing that made the night bearable, was the endless supply of booze. No doubt the organisers were hoping for the press to catch some drunken antics by the bevy of celebrities; we’ve got a movie to sell, all publicity is good publicity right? And I almost succumbed to it if it wasn’t for Maddie, physically holding me back from taking another swig straight from the champagne bottle. I was being every agent’s nightmare and she wasn’t afraid to tell it to my face. In fact, she ordered me straight into the men’s room to “fix myself up” before I dare make another appearance back at our table. She probably thinks I’m still in there.

I remember now. She used to love this album.

I throw the disc onto the empty seat next to me, as the house finally comes to view. I pull up on the side of the road; the lights are off, she’s not home.

The deafening silence in the car hurts. I feel my brain trying to sober me up but my mind just isn’t ready yet. I fall back against the headrest, my hands on the wheel to steady myself, to keep my head from spinning.

She’s usually home by now.

I reach for my phone, hopeful that Y/N had come around and returned one of my calls.  

Nothing.

A text from my mother at 3.

A couple of missed calls from Chris at 7.

3 voicemails twenty minutes ago from Maddie; probably figured out I was gone.

My fingers slide over my contact list until it finds a familiar number, one I have hesitated to call lately after our last encounter but I guess, the alcohol is fuelling some sort of blind courage tonight.

“Hello?”

“Liv? It’s me…Seb.” I slur. I figure the louder I speak the more comprehensible I would sound.

“Wow, you have some nerve don’t you? Did I not make myself clear last time?”

I wince at the hostility in her voice.

“Is Y/N with you? She’s not picking up her phone…I’m outside her house right now.“

“Jesus Christ Sebastian. Just leave her alone okay? She doesn’t need this right now! She doesn’t need you fucking with her head anymore!”

I’m sure Liv is just as sick of me as Y/N.

The last 5 months I have been trying to see Y/N, to tell her how sorry I am, to fix our lives but she’s manage to avoid me in every way imaginable.

Her locks are changed, she no longer frequents the places that we loved and I know she’s taken extra shifts at the hospital, all to avoid seeing me; the pariah.

Liv was my only window to her, to find out how she was doing.

Coping.

After my last attempt to raid Liv’s house for her, she’s cut off all contact from me.

I’m surprised this woman hasn’t hung up yet.

“I just want to know that she’s alright…that’s all I want to know Liv. I miss her.”

I feel as if my entire body is sinking, my shoulders grow heavy and the exhaustion of everything that has happened, all hitting me at once. Blow after blow.

I cry down the phone to her best friend who hates me.

My Olivia.

My Olivia who was always in my corner whenever I fought with Y/N, helped her see past all the stupid shit I’d do, helped her see the rational side of things whenever she had doubts. Liv was our family who had been through it all, seen all our good and plenty of the bad. God knows how many times she intervened to save our relationship.

Seems as though this time, not even Liv can salvage what is left.

The line crackles as she sighs.

“Seb…we both know this is better for Y/N. She needs to move on and you do too.”

“I don’…I can’t. I can’t lose her, not like this. I can fix this.” My cries become uncontrollable, I have ruined the expensive suit I’ve been wearing, if it wasn’t already been marred by the stench of booze.

“Seb. There’s just nothing you can do. She doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

“Liv please. Help me, I know you can help me.” I regain an inch of control over my sobs, holding onto the last sliver of dignity that I have left.

“How?“ She sighs, exasperated. “How do you expect me to fix… this?”

“Just tell me where she is.”

She pauses, I can hear her contemplating over the line.

“She’s gone on out with someone.“ She says curtly. "She should be back soon but you need to be gone by then.”

Before I could even respond, she hangs up the phone.

Is she seeing someone?

I pull my palms across my face, cleaning myself up as I run through all the possibilities of who Y/N could be out with at this hour.

I adjust myself in my seat. I’ll sit out here for as long as I need.

I have to see her tonight.

—————————————————————————–

Y/N

The car ride home was quiet. I had fiddled with my nails all the way through, scratching out bits of the red varnish I had spent so much time and effort painting on. The air conditioning was blowing directly at me, much to my discomfort but I didn’t want to break the peace and ask for it to be turned off.

It’s fine now. We’re outside my house.

“I had I great time Y/N.” Josh holds my hand, affectionately running his thumb against my skin.  

Josh.  

Handsome, smart, dependable Josh. Perfect. Just perfect. Which is exactly why I am kicking myself for feeling so miserable this whole night.

I had went all out to pump myself up for this date, even so much as buying a ridiculously expensive dress that I’ll probably never wear again.

We’ve been seeing each other for the past couple weeks, yet I feel nothing. No butterflies. No chemistry.

“Me too.” I lie.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” He begins to stroke my face, my body fighting its urge to flinch.

Slowly, he draws me closer, planting a soft and affectionate kiss on my lips; which I return. A part of me hoping it will ignite some spark but instead, only the desire to push him off and run.  

“Good night Josh. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I pull away, hoping he misses the aggrieved expression on my face.

I can tell he is disappointed that I didn’t invite him in but I just can’t. I’m not ready no matter how many times I tell myself I am. It’s been 5 months and the thought of having another man in my house still makes my stomach turn.

I give him a final wave as I leave his car. Making my way to my door, my feet drags slowly behind on the pavement, pained from wearing the stilettos I had reserved for special occasions.

From the corner of my eye, I swear I could see a familiar car.

No. My mind must be playing tricks.

I fumble away for my keys as I reach the steps of my porch.

I halt to a stop.

My breath hitches as he emerges from the shadows, gathering himself up from where he was sitting on the floor.

“Y/N.”  

His voice. That voice that’s been haunting me, turns me immediately on my heels and sends me running in the opposite direction.

“Y/N!”

He pulls me from behind. I feel myself numb in his arms, his body pressed so tightly against mine as he holds me hostage in the dark.

“Get off Sebastian.” I try to whisper, remain as calm as my mind would allow. The last thing I want is to wake my neighbours and invite them to this little peep show.

“I want to talk to you Y/N. Please.” He’s been drinking, I can smell it from his pores.

“Get off.” I try to turn myself around, facing him so I could push his heavy chest away.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

“Just get off!” I begin hitting him, smacking him hard in the torso. Even just an inch between us would allow me to escape.

“We can work through this, it’s us.“

I refuse to respond.

"It’s us.” He cries, dropping his arms from around me, finding my hands instead. He rests his forehead against mine, his tears hot on my cold skin.

I upset the moment pushing him one last time. His reflexes falter causing him to stumble, permitting me to break away.

“Y/N!”

I harshly jerk from his clasp, ignoring him clamouring after me. I rush to my door with the keys shaking in my hands.

“Will you just talk to me? Please!” He gets angry with me.

The audacity.

I ignore him again, trying my best to get my hands to function, to get the key in.

“You think you’re the only one hurting Y/N?”

The keys drop from my hands, along with my every chance to get away, hitting the wooden slabs of my porch with a loud thud.

“GOD!” I scream. At him. At myself. I stare at my keys sitting so helplessly on the floor, as I fall down myself.

How have I become so weak?

I no longer recognise what I have become, what we have become.

I have spent every ounce of my energy trying to recover some form of normalcy back in my life, convincing my friends, myself, that everything is fine, that my world isn’t falling apart. I try so hard but I can never fool myself. The world can see right through me, no matter how much I force that smile.

“Y/N.“ Sebastian collapses beside me, tugging at my arm. "Look at me, please.” He grabs my wrist, propping my hands against his pain ridden face.

"I know I can’t do things over, I can’t change what happened but we can overcome this. W-we can make it through the other side.”

I sit motionless in his arms.

The night is dark, so dark it seems we were exiled from the world. It must be 2, 3 am in the morning by now, not a decibel disturbing the street.

Sebastian starts to relax his hold on me, I can feel him slowly sobering up as he rests his head on my lap, his face nestled close to my stomach. The vitality we once had has drained out of us, our lifeless vessels too weak to go on.

I look down at him, his eyes are closed as he murmurs inaudible words into my abdomen.

“We lost the baby.”  I whispered.

“I know.”

The reality of those words cut me in a million ways. I have never dared utter those words out loud, too afraid to speak the truth into existence.

“I did this, didn’t I? I made you lose the baby.” Sebastian looks up at me, his eyes vacant; dying.

I can’t find the will to respond.

I’ve spent so long placing the blame on him, why is it suddenly so hard to say it out loud now?