#malort

[jessicawwcaww]

New pope is American (yikes) but at least he’s from Chicago (funny)

[samimarkart]

no big cicada brood in chicagoland this year, but i am remembering this cicada infused malort from last year 😵‍💫

[maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit]

Chicago’s time has come.

[copperbadge]

Confession - I tried Malört for the first and hopefully last time a few nights back. I toasted the cursed shot to you since your blog is what introduced me to it, and I bet toasting with Malört gives off the same energy as a voodoo doll and that's actually why you're sick. We're all suffering now from my poor choices. Sorry I didn't understand before. The guilt lingers on my tongue like the taste of rotten wormwood. Feel better!!

I am honored to be toasted by anyone's first shot of Malort :D I don't believe for a second it's what made me sick! It's healthful and medicinal. Anyone in Chicago will tell you that. That's why it....tastes that way.

[ishowerwithcats]

[horrificambrosia]

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Malort

Danny, being from Illinois(probably) introduces a staple of Chicago bars to various heroes in the DC universe

Malort, for you unfortunate souls who have never had it, is delicious

Okay, it's actually extremely bitter and most people don't like it. It has a vague grapefruit rind flavor up front but it's main flavoring agent is wormwood. It kind of lingers and dries out your mouth a bit. People, myself included, actually enjoy this, but it's very bitter. People who don't like it really really hate it

hence why it's hilarious to give someone a shot of it

So Danny pulls this with the Justice league

Batman? Takes it like a champ

Flash? Hates it and runs at super speed to spit it out and pretends he didn't to spare Danny's feelings

Wonder Woman? I think she'd probably like it? Like, historically all sorts of herbal liquors were used as medicine and consumed as health tonics. I would not be surprised if it reminded her of some Amazon concoction. Or she would hate it similar to hao Japanese people tend to dislike root beer since it reminds them of a medicine they took as children

Constantine? Free booze is booze and he's enough of a bastard that even if he didn't like it he wouldn't give the satisfaction of reacting to it

Green Lantern, any of them, would not like it but to stubborn to admit as much and would take another shot of it

Superman, would not like and would give Danny the most satisfying reaction. Double the suffering because he can taste it but it can't get him drunk

Martian Manhunter, he'd dig it

[notclevr]

[craftherpes]

How I, a former Catholic, found out about the new Pope from my atheist-from-birth boyfriend:

I was at work when the news came out, and I had no idea until he sent these.

[snarp]

[gavamont]

Wizard distilling some Wizard Malort

Don’t drink it, it’s just the worst sort

For liquors, hold it as the true last resort

When a wizard make some wizard Malort

[impishtubist]

I am (obviously) not Catholic but I am a Chicagoan at heart and all the Chicago memes on sm today have given me 10 seconds of joy amid all the fascism.

[copperbadge]

I am in a random bar in upstate New York right now and they have a bottle of malort and I thought of you. I didn’t take a shot of it but maybe next time I will!

Doing your first shot of Malort is fun (well, "fun") but I must also recommend to you convincing someone else to do THEIR first shot of Malort. That is true joy. :D

[doinkdoinkdonk]

via johnnyviti on instagram

[chefericfeltman]

Saw this, nearly choked and did a spit take, I was laughing so hard. I may need to try these...

[pint-o-beans]