#managing the mentality

[labelleizzy]

Lived with ADHD all my life

Properly diagnosed ~10 years ago or so

Coping mechanics up the ying-yang

Finally realizing now, how much delayed gratification DOES NOT WORK for me

Contrariwise, Eating Dessert First (i.e. rewards first) DOES WORK??

Or I'm trying to figure it out some more now anyways

So I'm folding my second load of laundry by rereading chapters from Like Real People Do by @xiaq

And I've finished three very neglected sewing and repairs projects yesterday while reading chapters of a WONDERFUL fanfiction by Archadian_Skies AND ALSO made progress on the crochet blanket for Mom

So my conclusion is, I wanna try interleaving tasks with reward -reading and see if I can't keep this up.

Getting stuff done + fewer book-hangovers = PROFIT

[clumsypuppy]

eos pt. 1

[mylastmoleculeofserotonin]

To be clear, Jinx didn’t magically go from being schizophrenic and severely mentally unstable to “just a little quirky and chaotic” from season 1 to season 2. She’s just not living with and dependent on someone who is actively trying to make her mental health worse for his personal gain anymore.

Also, adopting a kid and receiving unconditional love again for the first time in almost 10 years probably helped a lot. As did reconnecting with her sister whom she was manipulated into believing was the cause of her problems and pain.

[xxskyethetiredemoxx]

Notes game cause I've seen people do it and it looks fun

10 notes: get off tumblr and do my homework

50 notes: brush my teeth every day (I try ok)

100 notes: practise guitar three times a week

200 notes: try and manage my time better so I have free time to do my hobbies and stuff

500 notes: deal with the mess on my bedside table

1,000 notes: look for a paid job (I quite like volunteering though, and like I want to stay there for a while, so yk)

2,000 notes: finish reading a book

5,000 notes: not do sh for three months (yeah no lol)

10,000 notes: maybe talk to my parents about mental health stuff (fuck no)

[fraternum-momentum]

fellas is it normal to get reminded of ur wife when u see ur kid's schoolmate

feat. @wreckowafer 's arin \(⌒_⌒)

bonus:

[peaceoutofthepieces]

been having more aftg thoughts in the vein of why i always felt so close to it and adored it so much and i think it's bc of the stunning mental illness portrayal in how neil responds to andrew's depression.

like it's always been blatantly obvious that neil is respectful of andrew's boundaries but the focus is always on the physical sense when it's way more than just that. neil is a mouthy little bitch and while there are a few times he gets annoyed with andrew's non-answers he always knows where the line is and when there's a difference. he has every mode to fit every scenario; he figures out/judges what's needed from him and he complies.

he'll sit and chatter to andrew and coax andrew into talking to him, but he'll back off as soon as andrew tells him no or becomes silently but noticeably (at least to neil) resistant. he'll silently keep him company when the others all forget about him and not care if andrew acknowledges that company, because he's just doing it because he knows how crushing loneliness can be and doesn't want that to add to andrew's pains. alternatively he'll get up and go without complaint if andrew asks and give him as much of his own space and time as possible.

it's such basic understanding and respect but it comes so naturally to him and no one else has given that to andrew before. andrew telling neil he can bear being with him because neil listens to him and gets his boundaries and limits means so much more when you consider how much it probably means to him and how unlikely he finds it that neil of all people allows him to be quiet and distant and alone-but-not without complaint, as well as very obviously enjoying when andrew is open and present and active with him.

it's so quietly respectful and loving and such a good depiction of how easily depression can be navigated by the right partner and i think it's a large part of why their relationship has always meant so much to me

[arolesbianism]

Oh god is that a comicfrin drawing where they have whimsy quick someone throw that guy into a decades long timeloop

[bullet-proof-butch]

You have Bad Person Disease.

Oh, what does that mean? Well basically. You're Bad. And you can't be Good, because if you ever try to be Good then you're only doing it to hurt people, because you're Bad.

If you ever try to seek help through therapy then you'll have to wade through therapists who believe Bad Person Disease makes you dangerous to everyone around you. Yes even if you've never actually hurt anyone, or you respond to stress by isolating or hurting yourself. Actually if you hurt yourself it's just to manipulate others. Because you're Bad.

Also any time you try to seek help online you'll find people discussing specifically how to upset you, including to the point of ruining your life. But it's okay, you have Bad Person Disease, so acting maliciously or cruelly towards you is justified.

These kinds of disease are all on complicated spectrums and different people will experience wildly different symptoms or express things in wildly different ways. Not Bad Person Disease though. Yeah, you're all the same. All Bad, you see.

If someone else takes personality traits from other people then it's just a normal impact of socialisation on human development. Not you though, if you take any personality traits from the people around you then you're doing it on purpose and it's bad, because you're Bad.

If someone else has a meltdown, screams or yells or snaps, it's probably just that they're having a rough day and need some help. Not you though, if you ever do anything that upsets anyone then it's because you're Bad and always will be Bad and that makes you dangerous.

I don't know how to end this post.

[glowettee]

⋆˚࿔glowettee hotline 6: finding peace after studying.ᐟ

hey lovelies! 🤍i'm finally back with glowettee hotline

abbey sent in the sweetest question to the glowettee hotline about something i think so many of us struggle with. that persistent anxiety that whispers "you could do more" even after you've literally been studying for hours and hours? yeah, i know that voice all too well.

i was literally up until 3am last night reorganizing my color-coded study guides even though i'd already finished them, so trust me when i say i understand that perfectionist energy. there's something about academics that brings out that need for control in all of us, right?

first, i want you to know that what you're experiencing is actually super common among high-achievers. that anxiety isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong - it's actually your brain being a little too good at wanting to succeed. your brain has basically created this false equation that anxiety = productivity, when actually they're totally different things.

when i was in my worst perfectionist spiral last semester (we don't talk about the great midterm meltdown of 2024), my academic counselor shared something that literally changed everything for me. she called it "productive completion" versus "perfectionist completion" and the difference is everything.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ why your brain keeps doing this ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

your brain has been rewarded for being anxious in the past. every time you've pushed yourself to do "just one more thing" because of anxiety, your brain logged that as a win. it doesn't realize how exhausted and burnt out you're becoming.

also? uncertainty is literally uncomfortable for our brains on a neurological level. your organized nature (which is actually a superpower when balanced!) means your brain craves that feeling of "doneness" - but perfectionism keeps moving the goalpost so you never actually reach it.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ practical things that actually help ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

create a "done list" instead of just a to-do list. physically write down everything you've accomplished in a study session. when anxiety says "you've done nothing," you have literal evidence to the contrary.

implement a physical "closing ritual" to signal to your brain that work time is over. i close my laptop, put my books in my bag, and light this little vanilla candle that's only for post-study relaxation. your brain needs these concrete transitions.

use time-based boundaries rather than task-based ones. "i will study for 2 focused hours" is better than "i will study until i feel done" because perfectionism ensures you'll never feel done.

try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when anxiety spirals hit. name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. it literally interrupts the anxiety pathway in your brain.

create a "worry hour" where you give yourself permission to stress about academics - but only during that designated time. when anxious thoughts come outside that hour, tell them "not now, i'll think about you at 4pm."

practice self-compassion statements that feel authentic to you. mine is "being imperfect doesn't mean i'm ineffective." find yours and repeat it when that voice starts up.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the deeper work ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

here's the thing about perfectionism that took me forever to understand - it's often a protection mechanism. somewhere along the way, you learned that being perfect kept you safe from criticism or failure or whatever scary thing your brain is trying to avoid.

the real question to gently ask yourself is: what would happen if you did "just enough" instead of everything possible? what are you afraid would occur? usually when we dig into this, we find some core beliefs that need updating.

for me, i realized i had this weird belief that if i wasn't constantly anxious about academics, it meant i didn't care enough. which is obviously not true! you can care deeply about your studies while still having boundaries and rest.

abbey, i want you to know that your worth isn't measured by how exhausted you are at the end of a study session. your organized nature is a gift - but it should serve you, not control you.

sending you the warmest thoughts and a reminder that you're doing so much better than you think you are. your anxiety is lying to you about how much is "enough."

xoxo, mindy 🤍

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[almondy-milk]

[witchofthemidlands]

what still absolutely floored me about the well is that the doctor was still unable to do anything against that eldritch horror, hundreds (millions technically) of years have passed for them since they were on that busplane & this creature, that terrified him to his core, that they faced again in a significantly less claustrophobic space with tools & people genuinely willing to listen to them at his disposal. he still couldn't stop it & learnt next to nothing more other than how it has evolved further.

in midnight that awful woman told the hostess “you're the hostess you're supposed to do something” & she did. in the well shaya is the one to shoot belinda whilst saying that “it's my job”

and ultimately, history repeats itself, the doctor is forced to watch a brave lady sacrifice herself to try & stop it all the while the doctor is powerless.

[clickbeetle]

it makes me happy knowing she’s happy

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ok, need to break up an anxiety spiral. I'm going to go walk the dogs at the hardware store, but for when I get back, pls send asks about AEIWAM/TPOFATGIF so I can focus on that?

[egberts]

Should we get Nico?

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis' last question when interrogating zara's corpse -- whether illario also asked her to kill caterina -- is so telling. because if illario had done that, I actually do think lucanis would have killed him. (his standards are predictably wild and hilarious in a dark sort of way. listen I can forgive you for killing me that's fine understandable even but there's a limit to everything illario.) which is why he saves that question for last: it's the one thing he really does not want to know the answer to. because if the answer is yes, it's going to need action from him that would be so psychologically catastrophic that nothing the ossuary could do to him would compare, that would have been the end of him too, I feel, even with rook and the team there to try to catch him or pick up the pieces. I love how if you pay attention you can trace out the underlying hurt/logic already here, before it gets spelled out in inner demons. the logic lucanis' brain operates on is very sad and very consistent the whole way throughout the game.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.